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#also canon
theroundbartable · 8 months
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Arthur has been hexed. Again. It's not an evil one and technically, it doesn't hurt him in any way. It's just -
"im bloody red, Merlin!"
Merlin turns page after page. "Apparently that just signals that you're in love. It doesn't say with who, it's just... Apparently you're head over heels."
Arthur: that's stupid. I'm not in love. Show me the page.
So Merlin does and Arthur eventually has to relent. "What's even the purpose of this?"
Merlin shrugs. "Seems like a cruel joke to me. It only goes away in 25 hours."
"25? That's an odd number. Whatever." Arthur sighs. "I have no idea who this is supposed to be about. I mean... Shouldn't I want someone for this to make sense?"
Merlin shrugs again. "Hell if I know. But there must be someone you like. Why not just... i dunno, ask them out and figure it out. Perhaps it's not even meant romantically. I mean, sometimes the cook leaves me extra blueberries. I could swear I fall in love with her every time. And she's 64."
Arthur nods. "Hmm. Maybe. Well, I mean, the closest person to me is you. Maybe that's who they mean? I mean, you're an idiot. But you say wise things sometimes."
Merlin: me? That's hella weird. We already spend 99% of our time together. Why would you want to be with me?
Arthur: i don't. That's the point.
Merlin: hmm. You know what? It wouldn't even change anything. We could like... start dating. If it's annoying we just go back to normal. If it isn't, then we get some experience for dating life. I think that's kind of benefitial, don't you think?
Arthur: you're only say that because you can have more blueberries if you are my consort.
Merlin: yes. And you can't force me to polish your armor anymore. Or put me in the stocks for insulting you
Arthur: I don't see what's in it for me, then.
Merlin: hmm..... I would let you sleep in, in the morning.
Arthur: no, you wouldn't.
Merlin: ... Ok fair
Arthur: but you'd have to consult me before you do your self sacrificial bullshit again. And you'd be easier protected when we're attacked... Maybe it's not such a bad idea
Merlin: see? I'm a genius.
Arthur: do we have to make out?
Merlin: no, but i'm not against it. Are you?
Arthur: hmm.... No. Not really. So, it's a deal then?
Merlin: yeah, sure. Sounds fun
.....
5 years later
Arthur: I think we should get married
Merlin: hmm... Why?
Arthur: tax evasion
Merlin: ....
Merlin: we don't even pay taxes
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incorrect-ironwidow · 25 days
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Qin Zheng to Zetian: 20 years from now I guarantee you I will be your second husband
Zetian: what happened to my first husband
Qin Zheng: nothing you can prove.
(Gao Yizhi, in the back: will become our* second husband)
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soukokuchild · 1 year
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Dazai: the world would be a better place without me
Chuuya: no wai-
Dazai: which is why I keep on living
Chuuya:
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Enid: Yoko, keep an eye on wednesday today. She’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Yoko: Sure, I’d love to see wednesday get punched.
Enid: Try again.
Yoko, sighing: I will stop wednesday from getting punched.
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incorrect-nightmares · 7 months
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Six, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. The Lady is dead. There's blood on my hands.
.
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Five: *sneaks into the dorms at 2am*
Tom: *turns around in a swivel chair* Care to tell me where you were?
Five: I uh-I was with Peter!
Peter: *also turns around in a swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Tom. Tom, I can’t stop the chair!
@dorkylittleweirdo
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sadraccoon061 · 8 months
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MEOW.
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tmnt-obsessed-ace · 1 year
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They asked if he can beat the game for them
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Also michel had to use a chair so he could see
That is so adorable I cant akakjsjwidbsjdn
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batllethinker · 10 months
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Wanda just showing up with a bunch of hickeys and bite marks that she can't be bothered to cover up whenever there's an official meeting, and Nat just being so fucking smug.
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astro-b-o-y-d · 9 months
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It's gonna be so funny when the Axolotl wins this while Bill couldn't even get past round one
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antvnger · 1 year
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((Actually, I believe what he said is “Our word is our bond.” Regardless, I FULLY agree with your sentiments about Paul’s delivery. Literal chills. Like the raw anger and desperation to get Cassie back was just powerful, especially coming from Scott.))
((And I also agree with your assessment of Scott in terms of lying and betrayal. He and I are very similar in that regard too.))
((Scott is very trusting, maybe sometimes too trusting, and it’s when someone lies to him and betrays him that he feels used and mistreated the most. It’s a big deal. Big no no. Trust is so important to him, and when it’s damaged, it’s severely damaged. Perhaps irreparable. If it is reparable, it will take a lot to fix it. The warmth and kindness and trust he so willingly gave is replaced with a cold shoulder and a protective distance between him and the one who broke his trust. Unless of course, you’ve got something he wants. Like Kang having Cassie. There’s no cold shoulder or protective distancing there.))
((Yeah, second chances are big to him too, but trust isn’t something that can be repaired to the same strength over and over again. I’m guessing somewhere in his childhood or young adult life, he learned that the hard way. Now it’s a lesson he takes to heart. Fool him once, shame on you. There’s no do overs.))
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gruggstuff · 9 months
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Auden: Don’t mansplain this to me! Carrie: Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you! Auden: …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!
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faunusrights · 2 years
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so i got sims 4 werewolves (read: p*rated it) and made the urban fantasy squad only it turns out your trait combo gives each werewolf a unique bonus? and guess what fuckin ruby's is
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can you believe this shit
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synapsid-guy-girl · 2 years
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Random Tomohisa headcanon as a combo breaker.
Tomohisa is one of the most calm and gentle men that Any of the girls have ever known, and the only time Oktavia can recall where she thought he might actually hit someone was when she had told him she was going to be home alone for the holidays because her parents were on a trip when she was twelve.
He collected himself quickly and instead invited her to spend the holidays with him their family instead.
THATS MY GOAT. THAT IS MY MOTHERFUCKING GOAT!!!!!
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koko-heads · 1 year
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skye: wow. can't say i've ever met a bonafide, for-real grinch in person before. didn't think it was actually possible for a living creature to legitimately hate Christmas.
ajay: just so we're clear, the grinch never really hated Christmas. he hated people, which is fair.
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saintshigaraki · 2 years
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clingy shigaraki is so so very personal to me
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