okay i can't figure out how to write the bit and be funny about it, but, concept borne of the fact it's may and therefore mermay and also i can't stop thinking about the stupid swedishbeans bit: iskall is a selkie. joel is like, a normal person who lives in a fishing village. iskall decides joel is madly in love with him and starts trying to sneak his seal skin into joel's possession, and then do a Complain about "oh no the terrible fisherman has stolen his skin. guess he has to marry him now." meanwhile joel is confused, kind of scared, and keeps on trying to give the stupid thing back WHY DO YOU KEEP ACCUSING HIM OF STEALING IT PLEASE,

meanwhile, the b-plot is iskall getting in trouble with the local mob boss, but since beef knows that iskall is a supernatural being, it is Bad Luck to get on a selkie's bad side and beef can't get away with just making the problem vanish. somehow they have both devolved into bizarre proxy wars, with beef trying to figure out how to get rid of the most annoying man alive without either losing face with his subordinates (for seemingly being unable to get rid of this one weirdo) or being cursed for eternity (no mob boss worth his salt gets involved with the supernatural in a way that leads to them cursing them), while iskall continuously sees how much more he can get away with before making this guy snap.

meanwhile meanwhile, in JOEL'S b-plot, mysterious stranger from the woods (and secretly a shapeshifting fox), etho, owes joel five dollars, and he WILL get those five dollars back, dammit. in truth etho, despite being a trickster spirit, was actually originally going to pay those five dollars, but both of them have descended so far into the bit at this point that it'd be weird to stop harassing each other and they'd kind of miss it. meanwhile, everyone in the village has wildly different opinions on what on earth is ACTUALLY happening between them.

all of these plots eventually collide to become something increasingly stupid, probably, it would just need to be the world's silliest situational comedy/sitcom type fic where things get more convoluted before they resolve. do you all see the vision,