#also are the roots intentional?
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Lily James at the 2022 Emmy Awards
#lily james#emmys#2022 emmys#red carpet#she looks great as usual#versace is usually good at making pretty people look pretty#but man 90% of the pictures of her she's making a weird face#also are the roots intentional?
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Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end
Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience
His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua
Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most
And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost
To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.
#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him.#those missing years before canon starts were probably the closest he got but even then the knowledge he couldn't use martial arts#must have killed him (no pun intended). because he'd put so much stock in his identity as sigu sect leader + hero + prodigy#so to have such a massive part of his identity stripped from him... honestly it doesn't seem that he ever fully comes to terms with it#but he makes progress and he tries to do better. + that leads to him becoming a different type of 'hero' than the symbol he was originally#deep down he wants to help people with all he has but his capacity isn't infinite + at some point can only be taken from himself#mysterious lotus casebook#mlc spoilers#also to be clear I mention shan gudao not to say lxy should have realised earlier bc for a lot of the time he was too young to notice#and later on sgd did better at hiding his intentions. but more for how lxy tunnel visioned towards his idea of righteousness#and steamrolled over everyone else. both sgd and qwm were placed far below the importance of the sigu sect#and lxy's arrogance made it such that sigu became reliant on him alone as he shut others out (hence domino fall once he went).#idk if he could ever have 'fixed' what was btwn him and sgd bc it was so deep rooted but I do think that his actions#helped convince sgd that sgd was entirely in the right to choose his path#mlc#edit: just went and checked the exact wording of the TL and it's actually 'you like being a hero' rather than 'you want to be the hero'#which is different but still close enough in implications for my point to stand (I think)
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we need to stop pathologizing right-wing violence and political actions asap, not only is it liberal scapegoating to avoid talking about the real reasons these problems arrive, it also throws mentally ill people under the bus for actions that arent inherent to having a mental illness. being mentally ill doesnt turn you into a terrorist or make you a politician who tries to strip human rights from the populace, no not even if you think theyre "monsters devoid of empathy."
a politician or corporate ceo does not make the decisions to defund welfare programs or make their employees work awful hours and try to break up unions because theyre "narcissists" or "avoidant personality psychopaths" or bc they "have aspergers" or whatever other heavily demonized mental illness you want to armchair diagnose them with to waive away real world conditions and resign these behaviors as just a biological component of being a "scary" mentally ill person. they do these things for a reason, because they work under capitalist logic. they do the things that will make them the most amount of profit in the short term and will try to break down anything that threatens their profits or challenge the company lobbies that line their pockets, not because torturing their workers makes them feel good.
american mass violence is caused by rising right-wing extremism and white supremacy brought on by the internet and mainstream news networks like fox news, not because the assailant was a "troubled kid" who was bullied. people will go on and on about how we need better mental health treatments while resigning the killer's right-wing manifesto as a fucking footnote as if it has nothing to do with their actions, and how we need gun control and even MORE police funding to keep guns out of mentally ill people's hands (and keep the guns in the hands of privileged white supremacists, as history will tell you that gun control laws in america were mostly brought along to deliberately disarm left-wing black movements)
people don't want to admit that these actions are not irrational or that theyre not actually caused by some inherent human evil, because that would mean theres something wrong with the system and the culture of american society that needs addressing, which is too hard to commit to. instead, scapegoating mentally ill people (who are more likely to be poor and the target of violence) is easier, to say these actions are because the few bad apples simply have a biological trait inside them that makes them sadistic murderers, that theres no way there could be any cultural or economic reward behind their actions that make them act the way they do. no, theres no way a SANE person could commit these atrocities! we dont have to address any systemic problems then, to prevent this from happening again.
#fascist mention#shooting mention#knowing how these people operate and think is important to effectively combatting their violence#this also applies to when ppl try to ''facts and logic'' debunk conservatives with the intent to ''change their mind''#you remember the post abt ppl saying ''well if you dont want to officiate a gay wedding maybe that job isnt right for u!''#and a commenter said ''actually thats WHY they get these jobs. to block and obstruct gay people.''#right wing logic doesnt operate under reducing human suffering or solving a societal issue at its root#its about finding a group of people to scapegoat as the cause of all your problems and to make them GO AWAY.#no amount of saying ''legal abortions cause abortion rates to go down''#will convince a group of people who think abortion is inherently evil and that allowing it at ALL is a crime
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(´･ᴗ･ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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I've been thinking about fixing up this tumblr a bit so that I post more about art and writing and less mindless reblogging sprees. I think I'll make a secondary account to do all my mindless reblogging on though, because reblogging is good for the tumblr ecosystem.
#also i just like clicking the reblog button on things that interest me#but this wasnt my intention when i made this tumblr and i gotta go back to the roots
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music box
#jet set radio#jsr beat#uhh hm do i put this in the zero beat tag. might as well#zero beat#beat jsr#beat jet set radio#eyestrain#ask to tag#goig back to my roots a liddle bit and drawed something Vaguely Gekidan Inu Curry Inspired.. definitely not an actual style attempt tho#get sillyweird immediately boy.#anyway this art i feel like i got kind of lost and wandered away from my original intention with it but thats ok bc i think it still cool#in uhh me and my sibling's au/headcanons we decided to just go with the ''gouji is beat's dad'' theory#(we did it as a joke but then started thinking abt it seriously :/ kirby fandom era me would be so disappointed in me)#anyway this art was going to be more directly about that and then it was only KIND OF about that. well whatever LMAO#anyway unrelated (mostly) to all that. never let your vaguely egotistical n smug protags near me. i will give them full blown COMPLEXES#i'll make them fucking unbearable. i'll make them think theyre the specialest little guys EVER. Without Remorse.#Are You Paying Attention To Him Yet. ARE YOU.#also like side note but. i think im literally incapable of not making a zero beat look like just the silliest little guy ever#i need to pick one up. and carry him around like a plushie. (would get maimed if i tried to do this)#wait i just looked at my sibling's response wehn i first showed this art to them and part of their reply was ''Beature come and see him;!''#and now i just have fin fin come and see him stuck in my head but with ''finfin'' find+replaced with Beature#Beature come and see him... love and we'll believe him... always and forever Hes your best friend!!!!#closes the music box and puts it in a shipping package. and addresses it to be sent to planet teo. I dont give a fuck#Beat. The Real Computer Beature.#oh my god these tags are like. even more tangential and incoherent than usual for my art blog.#i am just going to click the post now button and free this post from its purgatory.
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I called it, Ruan Mei is deranged and shady as hell
#I love her#I also said that she the light cone and the light cone description and her last eidolon and some other things#made her feel almost nonexistent or barely there‚ but not in a Herta and Xueyi kind of way#And it seems I was right too? That line‚ 'Life is so colourful‚ but... it has nothing to do with me' reads to me like that for now#Really digging the way Dr. Ratio contrasts or parallels her. How she talks about keeping a serene mask until the situation is ascertained#and talking about emotions and feelings being able to be analysed and dissected‚ the root of which found#In the promotional video immediately after she says the thing about masks‚ Ratio appears talking precisely about the same thing#It's so cool how both also take advantage in their fighting style of the weaknesses of the enemies#Ruan Mei with the weakness break effect and Ratio with the debuffs#Ruan Mei didn't seem as scornful of Ratio and the Guild as Herta seemed but Ruan Mei is also less open#The leaked line of Ratio about her (I can't recall exactly but it wasn't anything we haven't seen in the new Ruan Mei short‚#something about how the true intentions of her research are not what she stated and that she is actually the most ambitious member#of the Genius Society)‚ while not truly negative‚ doesn't seem positive either. But he perhaps isn't as callous#as he is when he talks about Herta and Screwllum. Or perhaps he is being even more so#I'm looking forwards to their interactions and the development of the relationship between the Guild and the Society as a whole#But also the dynamics and problems inside the Genius Society itself#They all seem to have their all personal and selfish agenda which could be source of clash‚ whereas the Guild seems more people driven#Even if they have at times pretty ugly methods. Not they the Genius Society doesn't#Ajfjsjd anyway I wonder if the Ratio and Ruan Mei parallels and contrasts will be truly explored or if it will be left in the air#just to sell either character more#But it seems sooo intriguing and so shady and I'm so into how two faces or representation of the same Aeon or under the same drive#could approach a similarish issue. Or how could one view the other. And how in general all that will develop#I've been looking forwards to more insight on the Guild/Genius Society confrontation since very early on haha#I am loving Ruan Mei *sighs* deranged#I talk too much
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Only Poe and I would come up with the idea to write a book for our rivals to read and it turning out to be for nothing after all
#i mean i haven't given her the book obv#it's not even finished#but i started it with the intention of giving it to her#it's insane how similar poe and me are in that sense#like i say i kin a lot of characters but oftentimes that's only partly true#but poe would easily be based on me or my entire existence is based on him#idk it's just - when i first watched the scene i was so so so shocked but i also felt so SEEN#the worst is that like ranpo she doesn't even see me as a rival#she's probably forgotten me already#argh ouch#i hate how true this is#I'm being overly dramatic but that helps me write#hhhhhhhhh#it's the 11th now i have to stop being nostalgic💀#johnny's silly rambles#don't listen to me. some day someone's gonna say “oh don't listen to them it's just the ramblings of an old pining fool”#and I'd have to agree#lmao that was dramatic too see?#but well she's the root of all my insanity#at least that's what I'm claiming. you can decide how true this is#i should go to bed i can barely see my eyes are so heavy#not really a vent huh#anyways#vent post#if you've read all this ily and ty <3#oh maybe i should add that i started this book like 8 years ago...
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I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that
And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.
But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.
#root talks#vent#delete later#like it's not the same feeling as when people are just telling me I'm a dumbass or a piece of shit#Like what happened when I first started posting in this neck of the woods#It's a different kind of ''oh I hate this''#And it's not just clarity of intent here that's the issue#bc even though that absolutely factors into it if I got a tag that was like ''kys /j'' from a stranger I would hate that#we don't know each other!!#Just bc ur joking doesn't mean I'm going to be cool with that joke#and again tbc this doesn't happen on this blog#it keeps happening on my main tho and it's super fucking weird!#Post gets more than 100 notes? I am going to get weird comments#The anonymity online usually results in people not really reading this as a real person receiving ur messages#which I am not the first person to point that out#and I've also had this issue especially when I was younger!#It was something I had to grow out of and a social skill I had to develop#and even now I find myself constantly reminding myself a real human person is reading and responding back to me#a person with a job and cats. who is going to get groceries tomorrow or forgot to fill their car up with gas on their way home from work#like people with huge complex lives are typing to me and reading what I say so I have to think abt what I say!#Idk I'm just thinking abt this it's been a weird time
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sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.
but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia
(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)
but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism
and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.
and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.
it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:
Almost all Muslims are bad and evil
They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him
There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven
Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)
...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS
...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.
DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.
and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:
white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical
god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose
free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained
the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.
but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.
in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.
#red said#i love these books. i love the last battle especially.#fuck me they're awful philosophically though#they were probably the first chapter books i read when i was 3 or 4. they are such a big part of my life.#and I've always loved them and i still do. I'm so fond of them.#and part of that is inextricable from the Christianity of them. i think there's something really fun and interesting in the fusion of#christian myth and celtic paganism and classical myth and arthuriana and new age mysticism and sci fi multiverse stuff#like it's not. new to blend those things. but lewis is such a nerd about all of them and he blends them up in a really flavourful way#and also i think like as a kid. the utter claroty with which These Are Metaphors About Theology And Philosophy#really worked for me even though I disagreed with most of it. because it kind of wants to engage with you directly as a child#it is. to me. pretty honest about its intentions. and it digs into some moderately complex ideas for a young audience.#like they're parables not morality plays. the Goddier ones are inviting you to think and engage in a conversation about the ideas#which tbh. not a lot of kid's books did at the time and age i was reading them?#they wanted me to be thinking about the whys and hows of morality. like obviously Lewis SUPER has an opinion on the Right Answers#(i would usually. say we're diametrically opposed on most conclusions but then i was rooting for Jadis' army in LWW)#but idk Lewis's theology is interesting. he's very much pro faith and determinism but he ALSO thinks you should question stuff i think#like. it's often kind of self-contradictory but the books are pretty pro asking questions pushing back straying from the path#as long as you come back#and the last battle particularly is really clear that you're not doing a good job of engaging with faith if you don't think about it#like other than MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND BAD the main message of the last battle is.#if you don't think critically about faith then someone else will think for you and fuck you over#tirian is our hero bc he has a personal and often uncertain relationship with faith that means he refuses to get swept up in the crowd#puzzle is painted as someone who is too scared of conflict to voice his concerns#he's prepared to believe he's too stupid to have his own questions or relationship with faith and so he becomes a tool of the powerful#because he is told to trust the teachings of the church not his own heart#now. do i think this is philosophically good? generally yes but it also props up the I'M A BOLD TRUTHTELLER AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT#reactionary tendency. and it's written by a guy whose Unpopular Truthtelling is partly 'Allah is Satan' so. grains of salt.#buuuuut. it's probably why it resonates a lot with people like me or my mum who as kids often felt constrained or patronised#by the way adults approach obedience and blind faith#like. Lewis is advocating for FAITH. he DOESN'T think that faith should be uncritical or without discomfort
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It's been a while since I've remarked on the Imogen with glasses thing (despite being one of the Patient Zeroes for the discussion about it here on Tumblr Way Back When), which has been slowly going out of vogue but apparently is still being discussed, but I feel like at this point, it's noteworthy that Laura has alluded to knowing about it as a trend on-stream and has sounded baffled, confused, and upset about it being so popular.
Also, it remains frustrating how people misinterpret "the specific way that this entered fanon was part of an overall series of changes to make Imogen look 'cute' in a way that made her more childlike, which is infantilizing, with these glasses being a specific element named as something that made her cuter, and the specific recurring styling speaks toward that intent, especially since the glasses are often in conjunction with other specific design changes that make her seem more childlike" to be "having glasses is infantilizing" just so they can go "it's so stupid people think having glasses alone is infantilizing", which is not what anyone is saying
#tbh speaking as someone who HAS glasses and has worn them since I was small#I do find the entire 'it's destigmatizing!' and 'you just are being mean about disability aids' to be ludicrous and disconnected#there's also a concept called patterns and context#why imogen specifically? why not any other character?#why is this design choice often made in conjunction with other choices such as making her very short and round-faced?#(not always but most often)#why are we ignoring the roots of this as a trend and what specific spaces popularized it when we're discussing it?#anyone going 'well people like it bc it is an incredibly common disability aid' is missing the point of conversation about patterns#'it's because laura wears glasses' so where's the jester art? vex? caleb? orym? ashton? fearne? yasha?#CR#Honestly I also often feel like people legit forget that glasses IS associated with being young or a teen or being old#since it IS still considered the Adult Thing to get contacts until you're like middle-aged and you're Old Now#So yeah... glasses is still often used as a shorthand for not yet being fully an adult when or is often seen that way in visual depictions#(outside of being like a shorthand for being old or erudite#but then again I am like: so why isn't Caleb or Essek popularly depicted with glasses if it's about being erudite)#But anyway that's a whole other tangent.#and again: it's about patterns and context and historical roots of this as a trend in relationship to this specific character#and the original intent and popularization of this as an element was specifically about cuteness and smol uwu beanification#and THAT'S why people have an issue about it—that specific context that it is coming out of
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Perpetually torn between loving and hating this bitch.
I mean, her treatment of Lana is irredeemable.
#ahs#american horror story#ahs asylum#sister mary eunice#lily rabe#diary pages#ahs fandom#horror fandom#i always root for the demons and she's very charismatic#she reminds me of pazuzu really#probably intentional#which is why i'm not surprised by her actions nor bothered by most of them#but one thing i find worse than all others is sa#if a person or a character commits it or condones it that's it i despise them#which she did to that despicable priest guy#and what she did to lana...gaslighting her freeing her rapist forcing her to go on with the pregnancy... ana's my fave i can't forgive that#and people ship them like that's sick#people will say she's a demon villain what do you expect#idk michael langdon is also a demonic villain and he doesn't commit sa nor forcing anyone to carry a pregnancy frim assault#at the same time i still adore her i still root for her#just keep her the hell away from lana#wonderful now i want to write a fucked up fanfiction where pazuzu wannabe hides pregnant lana away#judy can you fucking stop#not judy from ahs judy is how i call the part of myself that gives me these crazy ideas and compels me to execute them#crazy people ship them? you mean yourself? who the hell knows
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purple prose might be another term that needs to be put on the high shelf of writing advice cause why does nobody seem to agree on what it actually means 😭😭😭
#atp does the ‘correct’ definition even matter? within community it’s already wildly used ooc and unhelpfully#like is it all ‘elaborate’ prose or is it when prose is overdone? who decides when prose is overdone?#I don’t really use the term at all for myself personally bc I think like pantsing it doesn’t say anything#and is too broad you know#I also don’t think it’s wise to have a term that’s essentially going to be used to mean Style Is Bad And Invalid#teenage me felt fucking awful when I realised people would consider my prose purple!!!#and even if my prose was in hindsight hard to understand - purple prose as an idea didn’t give me the tools#to unpack that for myself and understand better how to approach the balance of style and clarity#(I’m even gonna go and say clarity is not an objective thing either and in some cases#writers will have the intention to challenge clarity#also I think clarity as an idea is interesting when you think about prose vs poetry#imagine a guy who reads a poem and says well that’s purple prose )#overall I just hate the idea of categorising and adding value to prose styles#prose is such a fluid thing#I like the spectrum of maximalist to minimalist but I’d say even then I go across it in a single project sometimes#also prose style and what is popular and what ‘works’ is something that#is very often connected to culture and language#what if we told writeblr how many ideas of good writing are just rooted in anglo/western centrism LOL
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no actually going on T somehow awakened me to a part of my gender that i didnt rly think existed and that's honestly so cool. like. i fully went into starting T thinking i was a Trans Man(tm) but as i'm weaning off it a year and a half later i've realized my genderfuckery is so much more fucked than i previously thought and like......no genuinely that's so cool.
#like i still consider myself transmasc? and i am very gay in a man who likes men way. but also.......#girlboy/boygirl is a dichotomy i genuinely Get now. im like ya thats meee.....#and i fuck even heavier w androgyny than i did before going on T. i LIKE the weird in-between my voice is at rn and the more it settles.#the more im getting my higher range Back in ADDITION to the lower range i have now. im jst like wow. my power. thts hot.#like i fully consider myself nonbinary. MORE dubiously than i did before. idk it's just cool yk.#like figuring things out abt myself. and all of that shit. i feel like im growing into my gender. like a tree planting roots or smthn.#it just feels very cool and beautiful and natural and i like it a lot!#i cringe being called A Man (with the implication of being binary) as much as i do being called A Woman (w/ binary implications).#but if u call me A Man or A Woman with dubious gender intent........no ya do that. please. it's hot it's sexy it's intangible much like me.#anyways i need to go to bed 🛌#summer's text tag#might even fuck around and start usinf she/her again who knows not me
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people really just find anything to be pissed about these days huh........because sincerely, what the actual fuck are y'all going on about??? all this moral uproar and vitriol for a silly old-ass boyband song????? please stop it forever <3
#i'm mad at ppl 🙃 having zero critical thinking skills 🙃 and ''cancelling'' over the stupidest things 🙃🙃🙃#i'm all for supporting the right causes but please for the love of god pour your activism into something actually conducive#instead of getting the pointless pisstake out of a goddamn song that's not that deep and has zero malicious intent whatsoever#idk man but maybe—just maybe!—some words can have multiple connotations and also rhythmic repetition is a style used in music???#and maybe things don't always have to root themselves in the offensive side and they are just. what they are? like isn't that crazy?????#maybe you won't get internet brownie points but it doesn't make you a bad person i promise!!! there are worse things to be concerned about!#tw*tter is a fucking hellhole like damn what kinda premium carbon monoxide are they huffing there but lord get it away from us#nope. not having any of it. i'm just gonna shut up and calm down b4 i say Worse Things and contact their terminal brand of brainrot#will delete and get back. i hope everyone is doing alright. if youre mad about paralyzed then i'm sorry for your loss love and peace :)#feel free to block me or whatever for this but i said what i said. lets be civil and not regressive in the pursuit of fairness shall we?#i never want to be a discourse blog (ew) or a place fostering hate and negativity but this is just frankly too ridiculous to not talk about#btr#big time rush#paralyzed#do pretty girl don't speak#will delete
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that optimist wa kiseki wo okosu'd too much
#persona 4#p4#tohru adachi#⛽️🌫#moel gas station attendant#souji seta#taro namatame#gsa sl au#arttag#boot.tingting#// found a yt mirror you will listen to madonosan. watch cca or this and we get connected on the same mental WAN#// i need 2 go back to my roots...gsaslau was always about these guys being friends making the whole revelation more. dramatic#// theyre friends. theyre friends !!!! theyll treasure their friendships whilst it conflicts with their morals later in the year !!!!!#// i want 2 keep my mouth closed about this i am so normal i am so sane in the head. gripping phone tightly with violent intent#// summer uniforms... i think im cute. thats a windbreaker btw#// editing this in drafts again to say these four make me so silly happy. joyful. also drawing adachis insect hair#// those arent ahoge theyre antennae
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