#also alex is probably so out of character idk who knows i have never written her before. i mean this whole thing is just. not how i wanted
Note
diana + total control <3
36. total control + diana.
words: 6.6k
warnings: narcissistic behaviour, past cheating, somewhat graphic violent thoughts, insecurity, body image, chronic illness, mention of omnicide, indoctrination, flogging (for the quote at the end, not the actual fic)
[read on ao3]
All he wanted was to go to bed, to finally do his routine properly for the first time in a good while then get some rest. He didn’t even have to sleep – though a few hours would be nice, even if he didn’t need as much as humans anymore – he just needed to get away from all the incessant nagging and have some time to himself.
Wesker had been working non-stop as of late, spending almost all of his time in the lab he usually shared with Diana, or in his office, and he had finally run out of steam. The last few days seemed to exhaust him, and that old friend was almost unrecognisable after so many years of vigour. But he couldn’t stay another night in his office, reminders of all the things he wished to perfect only enticing him to give up rest entirely, even if that meant he had to sit through reading another one of these imbecile’s reports.
Navigating through the facility with ease, even with fatigue threatening to dull his senses, he broke his stride when the shrill clicking of heels sounded in the next corridor. It seemed to reach behind Wesker’s eyes and make his brain bash against his skull, much like the way it used to with his migraines. But it wasn’t so much the noise as it was the cause of them, and he almost turned around to head back to his office, not wanting to deal with that annoyance at the moment.
That is, until he realised she was heading away from his destination, footsteps growing distant with each passing second, and the relief he felt from that was absurd. He rounded the corner and reached the door she had been in front of, swiping his keycard and entering the code to his room as if on autopilot; the slow hiss as it slid open was almost comforting, the promise of peace and quiet so close within reach.
But once he caught sight of Diana already in bed with her back to the door, his stomach twisted into a knot. He hadn’t seen her since she had made those unfounded claims against him the day prior, meaning he’d fumbled to give himself the last two doses of his medication, but the thought of looking for her hadn’t even crossed his mind, far too busy with more important matters than the ridiculous train of thought she had surmised.
He would have thought she was already asleep considering the way she was lying perfectly still with the covers up to her shoulders, the lights out and the scent of her moisturiser lingering in the air, but the moment he began taking off his coat, he noticed how her heart rate increased.
Then she took a deep breath.
“I think we need some time apart.”
Wesker paused in the middle of hanging up his coat when her quiet words reached him, wrapping themselves around every one of his muscles and pulling them taut. He could only look down at his hand balled into a fist around material as he slowly nodded in response, even though she couldn’t see it. He almost thought he could hear the blood rushing through his arteries and up to his head, making him feel like he was burning from the inside out.
The simple statement echoed in his mind, the words overlapping and varying in volume, taunting him at every turn alongside his own thoughts. Mocking him.
…time apart. She’s leaving. She won’t come back. Not coming back. Like Jelena. We need some time apart. It’s always been like this, me against them. We need some time apart.
But Diana didn’t stop there.
“I can’t be here at the moment. I’m going to stay with Alex for a while.” The slight waver in her voice was betraying the composure he knew she was desperately trying to keep, and he shouldn’t have felt guilty for it. He had nothing to feel guilty for.
“How long?” The words felt heavy leaving his throat, and Wesker swallowed in a futile attempt to try and fight off the lump that had taken up residence there.
The small sniffle he heard made him glance back over at Diana; she shifted beneath the covers, one of her hands coming up to her face, and he could only assume that she was rubbing her nose. Whatever anger he may have felt towards her for causing this mess, for hurting him with her accusations, it seemed to be fighting a losing battle against his love for her. Why a small sound such as that could tug at his heart, he would never understand. No one else could elicit such a reaction from him.
“I don’t know.” It was barely audible, only a whisper, and yet he heard it clear as day, as though she had spoken the words directly into his ear.
Diana pulled the covers closer around herself then stilled once more, only listening to the way his heart was pounding in his chest. Or was that hers? She couldn’t tell, but it made her feel sick to her stomach. It was foolish of her to think that he’d understand her decision, but she had hoped he’d calmed down enough from yesterday to at least see it from her perspective.
Perhaps he had simply left her alone with her thoughts for too long.
His footsteps as he made his way further into their room seemed deafening in her ears, and she wasn’t prepared for the panic that set in behind her sternum when she heard him round the bed. She had no reason to panic around him; she never had before, but the moment she saw movement out of the corner of her eye, she took another long inhale through her nose.
Wesker slowly crouched down in front of her, one hand reaching up to pull his sunglasses off while the other settled on the bed by her hip, but Diana only rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling, avoiding him as best she could. The heavy sigh he let out at that had her eyes stinging and she wanted to hate him for it. She wished she could hate him.
Her name barely left his lips before Diana muttered, “I can’t look at you right now.”
“I apologise for raising my voice.”
It sounded so rehearsed. So hollow. Or maybe she was too upset to even notice how his tone had changed. But she knew for a fact that he wasn’t sorry for how he’d spoken to her. She knew. If they had a chance to redo that argument, it would all play out the exact same way as it had. She was sure of it.
Diana turned her head and looked him in the eyes. Those gorgeous scarlet eyes. “Raising your voice?” Her own mutated ones darted between his, searching for something, anything. “You roared at me, Albert. That wasn’t…” She averted her gaze when her voice cracked, and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “That was more than yelling. I have never heard such anger in your voice directed at me.”
“You have never questioned my loyalty to you before,” Wesker stated matter-of-factly, and her gaze landed on his face once more. Was he seriously trying to justify it?
She scoffed and shook her head. “So that makes it okay for you to speak to me that way?”
He tilted his head to the side and simply stared at her, one of his brows raised and the corner of his lips pulled upward ever so slightly. She could have punched him for that. This wasn’t like the times where they would laugh off what they both considered inane bickering; he had hurt her. And he hadn’t even bothered to check on her afterwards. Diana knew it was wrong to be as upset as she was when she had caused him to react in such a way, and he had every right to be furious with her for her line of questioning, but she still couldn’t believe the manner in which he had spoken to her.
Turning her head away from him again, she focused on the ceiling once more, preferring the simplicity of it as opposed to whatever look was strewn about his face. Why did he have to come to bed tonight?
The stinging in her eyes and how constricted her throat felt only served to make her feel more pathetic. She wasn’t going to cry over this. That was the last thing she wished to do.
Diana’s hands hesitantly came up to gather some of her hair and she began playing with the ends, a habit Wesker was well-acquainted with whenever she was trying to distract herself from whatever she was feeling. But he didn’t know what to do this time around. It was tough enough dealing with her emotions when he wasn’t trying to keep his temper under control, and the way she was acting like she hadn’t hurt him with her asinine remarks wasn’t helping matters.
A moment passed of neither of them speaking up, and Wesker knew there was little he could do to coax some kind of response from her when she was like this. Instead, he busied himself with unclasping his watch, the one she had bought him on their last anniversary, and he carefully set it aside before he worked on removing his gloves.
“You…” He lifted his head to look over at her due to the tremble in her voice, and he watched as she hurriedly blinked a few times, trying to fight off oncoming tears. “You humiliated me.”
Diana didn’t need to see his face to know what kind of reaction that had caused, judging by the way his hands paused in her peripheral vision, and she could have sworn she heard his jaw clench, teeth grinding together. However, the one thing she was certain of was that he was staring directly at her; she could feel his eyes practically boring a hole into the side of her head. If there had been a flash of that vivid red, she couldn’t tell, and honestly, she didn’t care. Yelling at her like that in their lab, where any passersby could have heard him – and she had no doubt some of the researchers had with the looks she had gotten last night – hurt her more than what he had even said to her.
Wesker rose from his position next to her and picked up his things, walking away from the bed, and there was no doubt in her mind that he needed to get away from her lest he say something nasty.
Diana only watched as he tossed his watch and gloves on the counter in the small kitchen in their room as he passed by it, and she chewed on her lip in an attempt to prevent a shaky breath from leaving her. The way his shoulders were tensed up to his ears and how he rubbed at his eyes as he made his way to the bathroom actually made her feel a bit sick. Why did she have to say anything in the first place?
The moment he was out of sight, she finally let out a deep breath, looking up to try and stop the tears that were welling up in her eyes again. The sound of him beginning to mutter to himself caught her attention, but he turned the shower on before she could make sense of what he was saying, the running water drowning out whatever thoughts he was angry enough that he felt the need to verbalise. The notion that she had ruined everything between them crossed her mind, that their marriage was irreparable after claims such as this, but she refused to believe it.
Time. She simply needed time away.
She rolled onto her side, returning to the position she had been lying in before he had walked over. The photo from their wedding – well, technically, their vow renewal ceremony – that was sitting on her nightstand drew her gaze, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to look away, even though it was only making her feel worse. The miniature versions of the two of them seemed almost unrecognisable. Ten years shouldn’t have felt like a lifetime ago.
Diana didn’t know when she had tucked her knees up to her chest, but staring at that old picture of them only made her tighten her arms around her legs. They stood close, bodies pressed together while they were hand-in-hand, his other arm wrapped around her waist in a possessive gesture, but it was the indistinct smiles on both of their faces, and her loving gaze while his was obscured by his glasses, that really made her chest hurt. Why weren’t they like that anymore? What changed?
Are you done? Wesker had asked far too harshly after she made a few comments about his whereabouts or why he never came to bed anymore, implying he was occupying himself with someone else. She couldn’t even remember what she had said next, something about how it was probably Excella, or maybe even Jill, considering she was around the same age Diana had been when she had met him, but it had set him off. How dare you accuse me of this!
The venom in his voice had rendered her immobile, and she had no time to regain herself and respond before the yelling started. Most of what he had said went in one ear and out the other; she was far too stunned by his reaction for it to sink in. The promises of devotion to her, the reiteration that in over ten years his mind had never wandered, the preaching of how no one on the planet could ever compare to her; none of it seemed to matter with the questions he bellowed.
Would you like to compare me to that poor excuse of an ex-husband in another way? Do you have a plan to kill me next? Diana had only felt betrayed in that moment, negating his reverent monologue. How could he yell something so personal, something she had told him in confidence, for anyone to hear? The way he had tugged on her arm following that, pulling her close to look down into her eyes – luminescence never subsiding – didn’t make her feel nearly as small as what he had spat next. When did you become so insecure?
He had a point. He didn’t have to yell at her, or say it like that, but he had a point. When did she fall back into this behaviour? It had been decades since she needed reassurance from anyone. But this wasn’t for admiration or for her work and abilities to be recognised, it was… different. She had never questioned this before, even when that bastard had slept around for months before she had found out. She had never felt undesirable.
Diana hadn’t heard the water stop, too lost in thought to even notice, but the sound of Wesker’s feet padding across the floor seemed to pull her back to the present. Her breath caught in her throat when the mattress dipped behind her under his weight, and the small tap of his glasses when he placed them down on the nightstand made her heart feel like it was going to break its way out from under her rib cage.
She heard him shift to lie down, getting more comfortable, and her vision clouded once more. He didn’t even lean over to press a kiss into her hair or wrap an arm around her waist. Like most nights these days. Though that was a rather foolish thing to wish for at the minute.
Then he finally spoke up. “When are you leaving?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, but it was too late, a tear had already escaped and rolled down her cheek, catching behind the angle of her jaw.
“Tomorrow,” Diana replied, then she cleared her throat as quietly as she could to rid the rasp in her voice. “I spoke with Alex this morning and she could use some help around the island.”
Wesker glared at the door to their room opposite the bed, trying to focus on anything other than the way the knife twisted in his heart. The fact that she had spoken to Alex about taking some time away before ever discussing it with him made him… not angry per se, but it almost felt like a betrayal in and of itself.
He couldn’t believe her. After everything they had been through together, everything he had done for her, he couldn’t understand where she got this foolish idea in her head that he was cheating on her with that irritant. It went against everything he had ever said to her, every way he had worshipped her. Surely he hadn’t done something without his knowledge to make her feel this way.
Rolling onto his back, Wesker ran his hands down his face. He shouldn’t have yelled at her. Why did he yell at her? They have always spoken about their issues, explained how one of them had upset the other, then they’d apologise and move on. Why did he yell? What had he even said to her? All he could remember was red. Everything had been red.
“Diana.”
Silence.
The thumping of her heart was overwhelming his senses, and for a moment he thought she might actually be scared of him. She had never been scared of him. The pit in his stomach only grew at that, and he clawed through the mess that were his memories to try and remember what had even happened. He couldn’t lose her because of this nonsense. He couldn’t lose her.
Wesker moved over to her side of the bed, suddenly feeling the need to hold her, and he pressed his chest to her back and wrapped an arm around her waist. But the way she tensed up against him felt like a punch in the gut. She used to love being held like this, craved it even, and he couldn’t imagine her not wanting his comfort. Perhaps it had simply been too long since he’d done it.
“Talk to me, dear,” he whispered near her ear, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up on end. Then Diana felt the press of his lips behind her ear, then to the side of her neck, then at her nape. “I’m sorry.”
He needed to stop whispering that in between his fleeting kisses across her shoulders and back, because she wasn’t that far off from kicking him right where she could guarantee it would hurt. He should be glad she hadn’t elbowed him and perhaps cracked a rib or two the moment he had moved closer towards her.
“Stop it,” Diana finally muttered.
Wesker immediately paused in leaving a trail of kisses down her spine and propped himself up on one forearm, his other hand reaching for her cheek as he hovered over her. She turned in his arms, rolling onto her back to look up at him, but that was all she did, golden eyes scanning over his features.
Diana’s heart sank once she saw the pained expression on his face; what she had caused. She wished she could swallow her pride and apologise to him for being so selfish, doubting his loyalty to her because of her own issues. She believed she deserved it then if the hand on her cheek decided to travel lower to close around her throat. He could easily snap it in one fluid motion, or perhaps he would like to crush her trachea instead, just to watch her struggle as her body realised it was being deprived of oxygen.
His hand moved higher instead, fingertips gently brushing her hair away from her face, then Wesker leaned in and rested his forehead against hers, taking her by surprise; she had no doubt her eyes had gone comically wide at that.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips, his hot breath warming her skin, before he leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I haven’t said it enough, but I do, I love you.”
Diana almost rolled her eyes at that. The last thing she needed was for him to pity her and shower her in affection. Her hand came between them before she pushed on his chest, making him pull back, and she took note of the look of… desperation in his eyes and the way his brows were knit together. His thought process suddenly dawned on her then.
“I’m not leaving you, Al, I just need time to think,” she said while holding his gaze, one of her hands hesitating at her side as she itched to reach up and cup his cheek, but she refrained from doing so. “So please, stop doing… this.”
Wesker visibly relaxed above her, his features softening and the tension in his shoulders seeming to melt away, but his eyes remained locked on hers. She felt awfully exposed beneath him like this, and the way he was shifting to lie more comfortably against her, his warm body pressing against her side with one of his knees settling between her own, it didn’t help at all. Diana cursed the way her gaze drifted down to his lips.
He wasn’t getting a kiss tonight.
She wished he wasn’t even lying this close to her, but something within her wanted to cling to him and revel in his warmth, savouring every touch as though that was somehow a measure of her worth.
He opened his mouth to speak but Diana already knew what he was going to say, and she cut him off, “I don’t want to talk about it until I get back.”
“We always talk.” He searched her eyes as he slowly traced a line down the side of her neck then across the length of one of her sharp collarbones. “Help me understand why this is any different.”
“Because it’s not about you,” Diana snapped, and the way his eyes widened slightly only mirrored the shock she felt at herself for how the words had unintentionally left her lips. “It’s…” She looked away from him then, but once she felt his hand find her own beneath the covers, his fingers lacing with hers, she sighed. “You haven’t done anything to make me question your fidelity.”
“I obviously have, dear, or you would not have accused me of doing such a thing.” Wesker squeezed her hand, brushing his thumb over the back of it.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Diana only muttered in response.
“Okay,” he whispered, then pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “But I must know if you’re having doubts about us.”
Diana slowly met his gaze and it really hit her then how much she had hurt him with all of this nonsense. Why the looks he’d given her or the yelling hadn’t, she had no idea, perhaps because she was far too preoccupied with her damaged pride to really consider how her accusation must have made him feel.
She scratched the tail end of one of her brows then let out a short exhale through her nose in way of a weak chuckle.
“I think we are spending too much time working in the lab, together, and it’s making us… at each other’s throats for no reason.” Wesker wanted to interrupt her and tell her that he’d never thought that way, that whenever they disagreed on a method he valued her input, even if her questioning irritated him at times. “We’ve been bickering too much over little things; could use a reset, I suppose. But no. I need to figure this”—she gestured vaguely at the side of her head—“out.”
“And I cannot help?” Wesker raised a curious brow, accompanied by the slight tilt of his head as his eyes slowly wandered over her face.
Diana pushed him away from her side with ease then, something she would have struggled pathetically to do before she transcended humanity. She pointed towards his side of the bed in some attempt to establish some distance between them, only until she sorted out whatever this insecurity was that had her turning their time apart from one another into some notion that he thought her abhorrent or something of the like, but that arrogant smirk on his face was testing her something fierce.
“On my own,” she added to her past statement, rather dramatically at that, a treacherous smile threatening to pull on her lips. He only chuckled in response, sending a knowing glance her way, and she did actually kick him then.
“So,” Alex began as she walked over to the large leather couch with a cup of tea in each hand, “what did my dear brother do this time?”
The term of endearment said in such a mocking tone drew a chuckle from Diana, and she watched as the uncanny resemblance of her husband placed the two teacups down on the table before she sat beside her, crossing one leg over the other.
It was odd to Diana, finding out that Spencer had stolen hundreds of children from families all across the globe, and yet the idea that Albert and Alex were twins could never quite leave her mind. They looked too similar for that not to be the case, they had the same birthday – though that could have also been a lie – and he had never questioned their relations. Surely tests would have revealed to him that they weren’t biologically related. They have to be.
The question she had asked, on the other hand, was not something Diana wished to think too much on at the moment. “It’s nothing, just a small spat is all.”
Alex hummed, though she knew for a fact that the younger woman was lying. Usually she was quite good at that, but the way she failed to hide the corners of her lips pulling into a frown and how she turned her head away to look off into the distance deceived her none. What really fascinated Alex was that she could’ve sworn she had seen her eyes start to water.
“Diana?” She lightly tapped her foot against Diana’s shin, and the other woman looked down at her lap for a second before turning back to her.
“We’re fine.” The small, forced smile she sent Alex’s way did little to convince her, and Alex almost laughed in response. “Simply taking some time apart, too much arguing with work.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed at that and she tilted her head to the side. “You two do not argue.”
“Yes, well, we don’t yell either,” Diana countered, far more harshly than she had meant to.
Touchy, Alex thought to herself. However, the statement did take her by surprise. She had never seen them fight, or even disagree much for that matter, though she knew when they had misunderstandings they were resolved through discussion, not something as childish as yelling at one another. What have you done, brother?
Diana absent-mindedly waved a hand in a dismissive gesture before scoffing. “It doesn’t help how much I was reflecting on the trip over here.”
“That doesn’t sound good.” The blonde tried to keep her tone plain, but she couldn’t help the hint of curiosity that shone through her words.
Perhaps she hadn’t checked in with Albert enough if his mental state was affecting his relationship this much. He had always struggled to form long-lasting bonds, save for a few exceptions, and Alex quite liked the little viper – she had once joked he better treat her well or she might just have to steal her for herself – so it would be quite a shame if this fell apart, and she had no idea what that would do to him. Although she knew it wouldn’t be a pretty sight, judging by how hard only a few months dalliance had hit him.
Thirteen years down the drain, she mused. Their long gazes and sweet smiles that she often called “disgusting” were more tolerable than whatever this was.
“I don’t know what’s happened to him,” Diana whispered, voice trembling like Alex had never heard before.
She paused in reaching out to pick up her cup of tea and simply stared at Diana. She was looking down at her lap, toying with the hem of her skirt. Trying to keep herself preoccupied so as to not cry, Alex supposed. Then she caught sight of the tear rolling down her cheek and that made her sigh, a bit too loudly.
“Do not cry, I have never seen you cry.” Her words were stiff, almost mechanical, and it made Diana laugh as her hands came up to roughly wipe at her cheeks.
The sound of Alex shifting next to her reached her before she felt hands settle on either side of her face, lifting her head so that she was looking up at her. Alex’s thumbs brushed over Diana’s cheeks, only once, while cold blue eyes wandered over her face, seeming to inspect her as she tried to calm her heart.
Alex nodded with a slight smile. “That’s better.” She dropped her hands when she was satisfied that Diana wasn’t going to make some display and start sobbing – though that was unlikely – then she sat back. “Now, what do you mean?”
Diana took a deep breath, shaking her head slightly. “I don’t know when the plans changed.”
That was peculiar. Alex was under the impression they had begun working on Uroboros to bring about a new age, to create a new world order much like that decrepit old man had intended, where there would be no place for the foolish masses, but she was quite curious by what these original plans must have been.
She didn’t have to wait long because Diana only continued, “In the beginning, it was never about this… wish to remake the world, it was…” She trailed off with this look of utter disgust on her face, like she had trod on something and it had stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
“What was it?”
“To stabilise the mutant strain within him and you, for starters, but whatever happened to our goal of immortality? Though, I suppose he already had that, and I was weighing him down more than anything…” Diana looked down at her lap again, chewing on her bottom lip before she shook her head. “We were to be gods in our own right, having these abilities that others could only dream of.” A weak chuckle spilled from her lips then. “We used to laugh at those who weren’t as smart as us, they were like a source of entertainment at times”—the small smile faded from her lips—“but now it only seems like he is intent on driving some… mass extinction event.”
Alex’s jaw suddenly clenched at that, accompanied by a sharp inhale, however, that only made it as far as the bubble at the base of her throat, her body not ready for such a sudden reaction. Swallowing did nothing to facilitate its journey, only aggravating the irritation, and the air came right back out in the form of a rather violent cough.
Diana’s head snapped to look over at Alex before her eyes darted around the room, looking for her bag as the woman next to her dissolved into another one of her coughing fits. Then she remembered she usually kept what she needed on her at all times. When Diana moved closer to reach for her blazer pocket, Alex held up a hand to warn her off and did it herself, roughly pulling her inhaler out with her other hand before she took a few puffs, breathing slowly and putting her hand on the armrest to steady herself.
“This damned illness…” she muttered to herself, but she had no doubt Diana heard her with those now heightened senses of hers. It was getting worse, but she had work to do, and she wasn’t going to spend her days lying around doing nothing. Rest only made her feel worse.
Diana reached over towards the table and picked up Alex’s cup of tea, hoping it may ease her throat some. She carefully handed it to her, and Alex gave her a small smile with a slight nod of her head, patting her hand once she’d taken the cup from her. Diana had no idea what else to do besides that, and she simply sat there, wondering if she should continue with their previous topic, or simply drink her tea and abandon it completely.
Alex watched Diana as she took another sip, taking in the sight of the object of her brother’s affection. Obsession is more accurate, she thought to herself. She was a rather clueless thing when it came to assisting others, but Alex appreciated the gesture, nonetheless.
Her eyes wandered over her then; the golden eyes that were once blue weren’t nearly as jarring to her as her sinewy arms for some reason, despite those vertical slit pupils. They weren’t necessarily muscular, simply defined more than anything, but her veins seemed far more prominent than she remembered. It was an odd sight; Diana never really had much tone, her arms used to look quite similar to her own thin ones actually, so this was perhaps a sight that would take some time for her to get used to.
It still amused her that Diana had injected herself with Uroboros on a whim, almost giving poor Albert a heart attack; the dosage was far more than her slight body could handle, and yet here she was, sitting right in front of Alex. She supposed it was only fair though, seeing as he had done the same thing to her ten years ago. Made for each other, those two.
That made her mind drift back to what Diana had said before. They were all working towards that same goal, the greatest power man could ever wish to achieve: immortality. However, she was unaware of this unnecessarily destructive behaviour Diana had spouted. It seemed like pure nonsense, but she supposed she couldn’t write it off completely. He had always been quite extreme in his methods, sure, though he knew you must control those who are lesser than you, use fear to your advantage; that is the most powerful motivator, after all, but omnicide… That was rather imaginative of him.
“It is a foolish plan,” Alex said, and Diana’s head snapped to look at her. “Albert is going to get himself killed.”
Diana let out an exhale in place of a laugh, nodding in agreement as she settled back against the couch. “He has been making many errors.” She rested her head on the top of the backrest. “He’s so… full of hatred, become so obsessed with this ideal, that he’s not—”
Alex’s eyes narrowed at the way she cut herself off. She wanted to hear this train of thought though. “What?”
He's not thinking clearly. He’s only digging himself into an early grave, and he wants to take everyone down with him. But she didn’t dare say that.
“He’s being reckless more often, and I don’t care much for it,” Diana said in a low voice, as though she didn’t really want anyone to hear what she was saying. “And this plan. I don’t understand his motive, I suppose. Perhaps Spencer still has total control over him, even after death.”
“Have you said this to him?” Alex asked as she sat up straight, quickly placing her cup of tea back down onto the coaster.
“Gods, no. We fought over an accusation I made regarding us, not work—”
“Good. You will not mention this, Diana.” Alex cut her off, and the moment Diana opened her mouth to speak once more, she beat her to it. “No, this is an unreasonable train of thought. ‘Of his own volition…he turned and shunned the world,’ just as the world did to us when we vanished as children. How do you think he would feel if he knew you were questioning his actions as simply an extension of that idiot?”
Diana’s eyes went wide at that. “That’s not what I—”
“Is it not?” Alex asked, her voice a touch louder than before and her tone resolute as she tilted her head to the side. Her piercing gaze cut right through Diana, but she didn’t avert her own eyes. “We are taking advantage of the resources he supplied us, continuing his research for our own purposes. If you believe that we were ever loyal—”
“Alex, that is not what I’m saying!” Diana abruptly stood up and clasped her hands behind her head as she began to pace.
The frustration in her voice was more at herself rather than Alex; she had always had trouble articulating what she was feeling and after the last few days, nothing seemed to be making much sense anymore. She shouldn’t have said anything at all.
The plan was almost in its final stage anyway, there was no point in worrying about such things, especially not when she knew she wouldn’t be able to convince Albert otherwise; it would only come off as though she was “against” him. But she was concerned. Even though it wouldn’t change their rate of survival when she had already adapted, and he would as well, it was simply that she wasn’t sure if this was something he really wanted, or if it was Spencer’s influence on him that was driving him to do this.
“Diana.” Alex’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Diana turned around to look at her once more, only to be met with a tired looking smile. “This world needs changing, surely you can see that.” She stood up from the couch and walked over to where Diana was standing by the windows. “And although I must admit, there are better methods, Albert is not in the wrong.”
Diana sighed, looking out at the elevator in the centre of the Monument, before she nodded. There was no use in fighting over this. “You’re right.”
“Of course I am. But perhaps you need some rest, yes?” Alex’s eyes wandered over Diana’s face for a moment, taking in how distressed she looked. The topic of whatever she and Albert had argued over was still intriguing to her, but now was not the time. “Come, I will show you to your room.”
She began walking towards the door, turning her head to look back at Diana as a cue for her to follow, and that’s exactly what she did once she retrieved her bag, their cups of tea forgotten and left for someone else to clean up. Alex opened the door and held it open for her before locking it behind them.
“How long will you be staying?” she asked as they began walking down the stairs, the sound of both of their heels resounding off the high walls and seemingly endless ceiling of the Monument.
“I’m not sure yet.” Diana gave her a small smile, but it was only met with a raised brow and narrowed eyes, though the expression passed almost as soon as it appeared as Alex shook her head once.
“Well, no matter. It will be nice to have you around. I would like your opinion on the trials with the new batch of guinea pigs,” Alex said, the smile on her lips rather wicked, and the glint in her eyes shouldn’t have intrigued Diana.
‘The animal wrests the whip from its master and whips itself in order to become master, not knowing that this is only a fantasy produced by a new knot in the master’s whiplash.’ — Franz Kafka
#i am SO sorry it's long... this prompt has been collecting dust in my inbox for ages but i figured out how to relate it to this old fight...#setting: late 2008. months before the events of 5 // quotes used are both from kafka's blue octavo notebooks but yes... the prompt name is#ironic <3 diana is very much not in control right now besties and she's having a no good bad time lmao there are a lot of reasons their#fight happened which i could talk about for a while but i think i mentioned a little bit of what causes it in a few asks a bit back#also alex is probably so out of character idk who knows i have never written her before. i mean this whole thing is just. not how i wanted#it but it's fine it's okay. like it's close but i just was having trouble with my wording a bit with this one. also narcissistic behaviour#i mean it's from all of them in this but i just wanted to warn on top of that with manipulation tactics in a sense idk i'm not sure though#also it's so weird referring to him as albert lmao but i couldn't use his surname when it's both of the weskids soooo#oc: diana#pair: ewskers#writing.#asks.#steelport
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20 Questions More
This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. @nottawriter hit me with a tag, I have been attacked lol.
1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? A dash of shower thoughts, with a pinch of I watched a movie and couldn't help but think... Yes, that will work. They often feel like the come from nowhere.
2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? That's not fair how dare you ask me this!!!! Uhhh I'm mostly reading Supercorp stuff these days sooo... @jazzfordshire, @mycatismyeditor, @fazedlight, @innamorament0, @scribblingpunk, @fyonahmacnally to name a few. AAAAND my co-author and a vast array of things @tomatopudding! Why? Idk, I just get drawn a lot to these works and think they're lovely, and I love their depictions of these characters I love.... with @tomatopudding we just vibe very well, sharing the same five brain cells helps.
3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? If we're talking Supergirl... That's so hard, but I might have to say Brainy and Nia if really pressed... and Alex. I really enjoy Alex.
Otherwise, my other faves include all of the Les Amis from Les Miserables (if you know you know), specifically Courfeyrac and Marius and their hilarious dynamic. Other faves include Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, Eponine Thenardier and... This could go on for a very long time, are you sure you have time?
4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? Not putting Kara and Lena together just makes me sad... So Supercorp ftw all the way, they are my top (I am a lot more amenable in other fandoms I've written for)
Tropes... I'm unlikely to do Omega-verse, I haven't done it and I can't see myself starting even if I sometimes read it.
5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?
When I worked in retail I wrote on stupid little scraps and probably lost about 75% of them. Sometimes the method is hand writing, and then typing and making edits during that process as well. The handwritten can vary drastically from the typed draft lol.
I tend to fly by the seat of my pants unless someone is keeping me in line. I'm pretty darn chaotic.
I doubt myself a lot, so I always think whatever I write is garbage no matter how much proof there is that's not true. Also, sometimes I get burnt out, or my muse dies and then I feel terrible. Yay.
6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? Falling down rabbit holes, looking into fun topics. Likely ending up on a government watch list for the stuff I've searched up over the years
7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Uhhh.... hmm. I have no idea what the weirdest is lol. Cause it's on my mind, probably looking up what types of wood are easiest to chop, and why. (There is definitely weirder, but I don't remember right now).
8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? Commas. They hate me, and I hate them.
9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Oof. Uhhh... This is so hard! Honestly there is a lot of stuff in my co-written very long series Hamilton Family Album that was *a lot* between research and feels.
Especially when you're co-author hits you with unexpected feels out of nowhere that you weren't anticipating (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID).
10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? Of course, they have. It happens all the time.
11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? Ohhh... Hands down Kara and Lena, I wish they could be my friends and we could hang out. Why? I think that they are absolutely incredible, wonderful and I could just sing their praises for ever.
12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Oooo, I'm a sucker for fluffy romances, and I've been dabbling in smut recently. Other themes for me can be like found family is a really popular one for me.
Since I've written both a lot of Les Mis and Hamilton stuff (among other similar things) I've done a lot of "Modern AU's" as well, which are uhhh varied to say the least. If I can treat anything they way the treat most Shakespeare pieces these days I do it.
13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Asking for help! Soundboarding with other writers, I love doing it. It helps me make sense of my ideas... Or decide they're maybe too out there (almost never lol)
14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? Reading it out loud, I have a hard time noticing errors otherwise. Asking someone you trust to look it over as well, take your time and double and triple check if you're unsure about something.
15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? D. All of the Above
16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try to just write for myself, usually because I haven't seen something like it and think it should exist. I do really enjoy getting comments if only because I'm always curious to hear what readers think about my work.
17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don't, and if I did it would be odd... I'm the most massive theater nerd. I do have songs that I think fit the vibes, and some shows I listen to have more apt things than others. Or if it's Les Mis it's the whole dang album lol.
Supercorp things if anyone is curious (and wondering how odd it could get): Mercury Rising from Lizzie, Come Home With Me, Anyway the Wind Blows, Wait for Me and Wedding Song from Hadestown, In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia, Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Maybe I introduced you to something fun today.
18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? Oh dear... I don't know. The thing I'd love to see art for isn't up yet and I just think it would be fun but it will be called What Was I Made For... And we're gonna leave at that for now.
19) How many WIPs do you currently have? I'm finishing up You've Got New Followers (One chapter left!), I think three other WIP's (two more plotted than others) and my WIP for May-Hem... So five?
20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? Don't be afraid just because you've never done it before. That's why fanfic is amazing. You can do what you want and in reality no one can stop you, just make sure you're having fun.
My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/works?page=1
Tagging but no pressure: @tomatopudding and @innamorament0
#les mis#les miserables#supercorp#kara x lena#kara danvers#kara zor el#lena luthor#katie mcgrath#supergirl#hamilton#les amis de l'abc
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I won't call it toxic but I'd definitely call it incompatible, like they would break up after two months of properly dating. Because they barely know each other and one person already feels suffocated by the other. I am glad the book was written with so much care, regarding Henry's depression, them balancing each other out and knowing each other thoroughly, Alex's respect for Henry's agency (in the book there are multiple lines about Alex passing over the charge to Henry because he knows Henry is the one with an unsupportive family, in the movie they just threw those dramatic lines but did NOTHING about them. In the book Alex's first development after their fight is, "it's time he realises, he should start accepting only what Henry can give him"). This Alex would never confirm their relationship without talking to Henry first ("It drives me nuts how little say you have in your own life").
No yeah it’s definitely not toxic I would say more fast. Rushed.
‘I wish you could see me for who I am and not who you want me to be’. I think Alex sees the best of Henry, all the good parts, and he ignores the bad ones (different to book! Alex who sees and loves all of them) while Henry does the opposite, sees all the bad ones and ignores all the good ones. That’s where they clash.
My mind just had a thought and it’s than their relationship in the movie is similar to Chloe and Shara’s relationship in I Kissed Shara Wheeler. Fast, rushed, they don’t even know each other they just jumped to dating. While what I said above doesn’t really apply to them (good/bad traits), they do jumped to dating without even properly knowing each other. Call me a romantic, but why would you date someone you don’t truly know? Just cause you’re attracted to them? I have a huge crush on this girl who I have known for years, and while sure I don’t know her deeply, I do know her. I know her shitty parents and insecurities and how she reads comics but doesn’t read books (which is something hard to look past to me) and yet I love her, with all that, not despite it.
The Christmas phone call being missing really upsets me (and the complete erasure of Alex as character too) because the phone call goes hand in hand with Alex saying than ‘he didn’t filter himself around Henry since he didn’t care what Henry thought of him’. And these bring me to probably one of my favorite parts of the book:
But Nora makes friends, and Alex ends up with acquaintances who think they know him because they’ve read his profile in New York Magazine, and perfectly fine people with perfectly fine bodies who want to take him home from the bar. None of it is satisfying—it never has been, not really, but it never mattered as much as it does now that there’s the sharp counterpoint of Henry, who knows him. Henry who’s seen him in glasses and tolerates him at his most annoying and still kissed him like he wanted him, singularly, not the idea of him.
(Fun fact, I can quote that whole paragraph by memory)
Does Henry know Alex when he kissed him on New Years? I don’t think so (mostly because there is nothing to know, he’s a one dimensional character)
You basically said everything so I’m adding little things
I haven’t seen anyone mention this but why does Zahra wait until after the speech, weeks and weeks (probably idk) to give Alex a way to communicate with Henry?
It was like she wasn’t even trying to help him/comfort him, just get him to shut up. Zahra might not openly show her feelings most of the times, but she cares, she finds solutions to help and genuinely cares. Idk it didn’t sit well with me, specially because of how easy it was?
They also erased almost every romantic line of the e-mails and that hurts me deeply.
I should have ghostwritten the script I get the characters more than Casey does at this point
#yes I firmly believe I could have managed to fit the whole book in just a two hour long movie#blame my homosexual audacity idk#rwrb#casey mcquiston#red white and royal blue#firstprince#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#red white & royal blue#rwrb movie
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Hellooo my lovely! 💖💫I am here to distract you! If you're up for it, I'd love to hear your answers to the gold obsidian egg and van gogh tapestry questions of that writing ask game you reblogged? 👀 Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way!!! 💛💛💛
hiii lovely 😘 why are you always just the absolute sweetest?? 🥺💞
gold obsidian egg: what do you treasure the most about your wip?
ooooh i had to reflect on this, because although i absolutely treasure writing four walls, i'd never really paused and tried to distil into words exactly why! i think there are probably two main things:
1) escapism - i love being able to completely immerse myself in characters and a world that feels so vividly real to me, and the safety/freedom of exploring the complexity and wonder of relationships and connection in such a safe space 💗
2) world view - this is going to be harder to explain, but i'm going to try 😅 whenever i write something, i get really immersed in the headspace of my protagonist - like to the point where i'm going about my daily life i'll find myself thinking about the way they'd experience the same environment that i'm in, almost get like - little flashes of being them?? eg, when i'm out walking and i feel my keys in my pocket, it's like for a split second i'm alex in four walls with his little set of miles's keys (i probably sound insane 😭). that's always been a feature of my writing process, but i feel like i've been able to connect to alex in this fic more vividly than i've ever connected with a protagonist before, and i've just absoltuely loved the process of immersing myself in his headspace and trying to view/describe the world in the way i imagine he might. and idk, putting myself in someone else's headspace also just constantly gets me to reflect on the experience of how different situations/emotions/internal thought processes really feel which is something i find endlessly fascinating.
it probably sounds ridiculous, but it's actually changed the way i view so many everyday things around me - like there are things i notice differently or didn't notice before from spending so much time in his headspace. also, writing in a way that i imagine might be how alex in four walls would think feels like it's just opened up new gateways for me in my writing and the way i use language.
god sorry, that was a very long and rambly answer and god knows if it even makes any sense to anyone who isn't me - in short: there is a lot that i treasure about my wip 💜
van gogh tapestry: do you create from any specific emotion? what drives you?
oh wow, this is such a good question. in terms of what drives me - i honestly don't really know, i've just always written and always have a drive to create characters and worlds through that particular medium. i genuinely don't feel like me if i'm not writing something. but i think also it comes from a drive for deep (and safe) emotional connection - and that's something that comes from my connection with the characters i'm writing, their connection with each other, and the connection i have with the people who're reading it too.
i've always been someone who feels things very deeply, so i think i'm quite largely driven by a desire to express the emotions i maybe don't get the opportunity to or feel to big to in real life. i'm not sure if there's any specific emotion that drives me - i think it's more just that sense of feeling everything so poignantly that does. for four walls though, i do feel like i drew particularly on the emotions of belonging and pining. i also notice that i always write best when i'm in a state where i'm feeling things particularly poignantly, even when those feelings can be quite negative or challenging ones - i don't know why, but that's usually when i feel like i connect best with my writing.
okay that's enough before i go off on a whole other tangent 🤦♀️ these answers have ended up being way more in depth than i'd anticipated - anyone who's read this has really ended up with quite the little glimpse into my psyche 😅
#i apologise to anyone who actually read through all this rambling#it was super interesting to reflect on these things though#thank you so much for the lovely ask 💜#also#i love that you picked the van gogh one also just because i absolutely adore his art ✨#asks#writing
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What's your favorite book?
In the ACOTAR series? None. They're all mostly bad in their own way. But probably TAR?
the best romance
peak Feyre
Moment Nesta became the best character by having the only natural character reveal/plot twist
peak Lucien
Amarantha has a better villain motivation (Clythia n Jurian) than KoH
best Fae (Alis, the bogge, the Attor, the winged summer Fae, the puca, the naga etc)
Everyone was at max potential
the cast chemistry was good cause Alis and Lucien weren't up Feyre's ass the second they met her even tho they knew or hoped she would end up with Tam, it built up naturally and individually
Favourite books in general? Idk but books I look back and remember enjoying:
Honourable mention is The Story of Old by Chelsea Starling, which I recently read for review. You can find my review on Goodreads
Patrick Ness' The Knife of Never Letting Go (series)
I haven't reread it since I was a kid so I can't give a current, more updated review but it's about a rural planet colony where a virus killed all the women and made everyone's (including animals) thoughts audible and visible to one another, called Noise. The MC is Todd - the last boy born in the colony who's set to become a man around his 13th or 14th birthday when he discovers an impossible spot of silence: a girl.
(now being an adult, that sounds terrifying for that little girl but fortunately Patrick Ness doesn't take it down that route - the story is more of an action adventure)
It's written from the perspective of a child but it's not exactly a children's story, especially later books which tackle things like sexism and even genocide.
Ambrose Parry's The Way of All Flesh
I read about 2 years ago and really enjoyed.
It's historical fiction set in Edinburgh in 1847 at the dawn of modern medicine particularly around gynecology and anesthesia. With elements of a murder mystery as young women keep being found dead all around the city.
It follows Will, a poor young apprentice doctor to Dr Simpson, and Dr Simpson's housemaid, Sarah, whose gender limits her station despite how clever she is.
Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson
Unfortunately I'm not much of a fan of Sanderson after trying to read the Way of Kings but before that I read Warbreaker and I enjoyed it - though apparently most of his fans don't
The story follows two sisters, Vivenna - the oldest, set to inherit her kingdom - and Siri - sent to marry the terrifying God King of their enemy kingdom. Vivenna, usually so obidient, sets off to save her wild little sister.
The story also follows Lightsong, a reincarnated God bored with life and Vasher, a hobo Dilf wizard with a talking murderous sword.
The magic system is called Breath and is really interesting. Each human is born with one but you can give yours away or get more from others and the more you have the more you can do.
Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (book 1)
I'm a little hesitant to put this because I never like recommending horror or generally disturbing content even if I love consuming it - plus I don't know if I really liked the book even though I have reread it. I like the concepts.
The book follows a girl named Alex Stern who is a high school drop out but gets accepted into Yale to be part of a secret society centred around magic.
Ghosts in this world are called Grays and are generally harmless and invisible to most people even those who practice magic but Alex can not only see them but touch them. Unfortunately that means they can touch her too - something that has made her life very difficult.
We follow her through her 1st and 2nd semester as individual timelines to figure out what happened between her coming to the school and her mentor going missing.
I will say the book has major flaws in character development and use outside of the main 1 or 2. The villain reveal at the end was absolute garbage that has maybe the worst monologuing since Alis in acotar.
Trigger Warnings for the book should include gore, racism, rape - including gang rape and child rape, drug use, murder and someone being forced to eat human feces
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I'm SO LATE but thanks @satans-poptarts for tagging me! I don't know that many fic writers and idk who's already done this so I'm gonna tag anyone who wants to do this!
1. How many fics do you have published on Ao3?
16 between two accounts
2. What's your total word count on Ao3?
105,539 words!
3. For which fandoms do you write?
Mostly Riordanverse, but I also have one MCU fic and one MHA fic posted. I also write for more, but I only publish about 50% of what I write.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. It's a Process (Hazel comes to terms with Nico being gay)
2. The Infirmary (Solangelo 3 days fic)
3. And I Want You Right Here (Alex & Magnus go on a little getaway)
4. Girl Talk (Missing chapter from Hammer of Thor)
5. Pumpkin, Pumpkin (Tooth-rotting Fierrochase fluff)
5. Do you respond to comments?
Not as much as I would like to, but I read and value all of them!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
The stupid Stucky fic I wrote when I was fourteen— No Time, No Place. Don't read it.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Idk, probably The Ring or Family Recipe
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not often; I get nitpicking comments sometimes, but only hate once (for the aforementioned Stucky fic)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes. Usually first-time fics. I've only ever published one, and I very much worked hard to disassociate it with myself bc I find it embarrassing. Like I said, I write a lot more than I publish, though, because this world doesn't need more bad explicit fanfics.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?
Not really. I mean, I do crossovers within the Riordanverse, if that counts. I've been working on one forever called "The Man of Honor" about Piper meeting Magnus at Annabeth and Percy's wedding.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Don't think so. I feel like whoever would do that would have balls of steel, considering how many people in the (small) MCGA fandom specifically know my work.
12. Have you ever had a work translated?
Nope! If anyone wants to, that'd be sick though.
13. Have you co-written a fic before?
Absolutely not. I like having total creative control. Co-writing sounds like a bit of a nightmare to me. BUT I did record a fic with someone else adding his on-the-spot commentary to what I'd already written.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Probably Fierrochase <3
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably never will?
My Solangelo series and this one Fierrochase fic whose working title is "High School Sucks (Especially when You're Dead)." Also hopefully I'll eventually finish "His Voice" (shout out to Theo for reading the unfinished version) but yeah.
16. What are your writing strengths?
A) Copying the tone/vibe of the original work, and B) instilling themes into my works.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Plot, probably? I generally don't write very plot-heavy content.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in a fic in another language?
Only do it if it's a very common phrase or if both characters talking speak the language in question. For longer lines, just translate them or paraphrase.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Animorphs. First published for Riordanverse.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I'm a big fan of It’s a Process and also And I Want You Right Here.
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i finished true colors and i’m having a lot of thoughts that i NEED to talk about.
(if this is gonna be long idk, i apologize for your eyeballs)
1. i honestly didn’t like alex at all when i saw the trailer, i was thinking “hmm idk about this one” but as soon as i started to play the game i fell so in love with her, she is so freaking smart and funny, she genuinely cares about the people around her and her story it’s very different from the other characters from LIS anthology. i truly enjoyed seeing alex’s development throughout the game especially her realizing that her powers can actually help the people around her and not harm anyone, the way she controls it after her conversation with gabe was such an awesome upgrade from the alex who was so ashamed of her power to alex superwoman. i liked how the game explored her emotions and her mind about the past, the mine part where alex was struggling to feel everything she felt in those days and then embracing everything was one of my favorite parts. it shows a lot of growth.
2. this game has AMAZING CHARACTERS, every single one of the characters was well written, they had life, they had problems, they had their own emotions with private stuff that was going on in their lives and you could actually talk to them and meet their “layers”. mac for an example was an asshole but i couldn’t pretend i didn’t felt his concern and fear around typhon, the way he was terrified about everyone hating him, he was scared for his life and being very paranoid, i was concerned about him and the game giving you the choice to speak to him or leaving him was a tricking decision cause you could leave him alone suffering or try to help him out, maybe saving his life and this is a lot but he’s alive. the game makes him real and that’s what makes me INSANE about the characters. i know, i’m talking about a game where you’re supposed to feel the characters’ feelings but that could possibly go wrong as well if the characters were shallow and poorly explored and that’s not the case with true colors. they had purpose.
3. alex’s power it’s probably my favorite power. the choices in this game was way harder than the first two games, the craziest thing is you can choose if you want to take someone else’s feeling so they can stop feeling that way, saving them from themselves making alex suffer instead and that's selfish. don’t get me wrong, i’m not calling alex a selfish person but taking someone else’s feeling doesn’t make anything better, you’re taking their right to heal, to be alive and that is so fucking awesome. you have this power to help someone, to “take their pain away” and you will learn that people need to feel what they are supposed to feel so they can move forward cause if we don’t, we are never going to learn. we see that charlotte is pretty angry about gabe’s death, she blames everyone but mostly ethan, she is miserable. alex can choose between taking charlotte’s anger or leave her. if alex takes charlotte’s anger, charlotte is left completely empty, she doesn’t feel anything and when i say anything it’s anything. she is left emotionless and bitter, she doesn’t pass through her way of mourning for gabe and she doesn’t have alex’s back when alex confronts jed. if alex leave charlotte to her anger we have a nice moment between them on the festival, talking about what happened and charlotte gets alex’s back on the black lantern and that’s what i mean from being selfish, if we take someone else’s feelings we are being unfair to them, we are choosing for them and people are supposed to feel, heal in their own time or overcome. by taking charlotte’s anger we deprived her from healing, we are not helping her, we are just making an natural process even more difficult and slower. alex being able to hear what someone is thinking and enter that person’s world from what they are feeling at that moment it’s the best detail for me, everything changes, we get to see the world through that person’s eyes, we can understand them but we decide what to do with that, we can be selfish or actually help. of course, we can take pike’s situation for an example also, if we take his fear we can help him overcome typhon and we get to expose jed but pike’s fear was necessary to take and charlotte was not necessary, pike at least had the pendrive with the recorded calls on it so we had a chance for things to get better.
4. chapter 5 was an amazing ending. finding out the truth about typhon, jed was never a hero, alex confronting her past, the confrontation and seeing who was going to be on your side, alex’s final conversation with gabe and the end, it was better than i thought it could be. i truly loved seeing alex’s past, even with everything that went down she turned to be a good person who wanted to be loved (her passion for music being the thing that helped her connected to me in a lot of levels, that creep cover though i screamed so hard when she started to sing). the mine part was absolutely insane not just alex surviving that fall discovering that gabe was looking for his dad for so long, jed knowing it and all of this time his dad actually died because of jed, alex finding the truth by taking her mom’s necklace back from what was left of that accident it’s so heartbreaking, the confrontation was crazy, i thought no one was going to believe alex because jed was so loved by everyone there it would be so easy to doubt alex and just be on jed’s side which was what ryan did but it’s understandable, jed was his dad, his hero. alex’s speech on jed exposing him after everything was one of the best monologues on that game and man this game had AMAZING dialogues and monologues, everything felt so real and beautiful, the best part of it it’s to forgive jed that’s where alex break him, he regrets everything even more cause when we find out the truth. we find out why jed never enjoyed talking about being the hero of haven springs. at the end jed wasn’t entirely a bad person cause when we forgive him he gives back alex her dad’s jacket talking about how he wanted to give it to gabe but couldn’t, that’s something that made me love even more the characters even jed that was the “villain”, which i don’t think he is. what he did was terrible and he knew that, he tried to pretend nothing happened when alex started to talk but at the end he broke, that always haunted him and that’s the difference between him and jefferson who was actually the villain in life is strange he wasn’t forced to do those things, he killed rachel, he killed chloe, he manipulated nathan, he was going to kill max and if max didn't stopped him on the arcadia bay ending he would kill even more students at blackwell.
5. alex and steph relationship was the purest thing on this game, it was smooth, it was organic, it wasn’t something out of the blue, steph liked alex since the beginning. the plan to pick someone to flirt with diane and get her pendrive i chose ryan and afterwards steph started to feel something, she was so upset that alex used to think ryan was “hotter than her” (i only chose ryan cause i didn’t want to see steph flirting with diane but i saw the scene where we pick steph and omg i should’ve chosen steph cause that scene it’s hilarious), steph was happier around alex, every time she had an opportunity to flirt with alex she took it. seeing their love grow through the chapters was beautiful, i know we can choose ryan over steph but i don’t believe ryan liked alex the way steph did, you can literally see that no matter what alex did steph was going to support her and look at her with so much love and respect and that’s why i think alex and steph’s relationship it’s so pure and right. also they looked so good playing together it’s so cute that they have the same passion for music and THAT LARP SCENE FOR GOD’S SAKE MY HEART MELTED!
6. this part is exclusively to talk about LARP and the fight scenes, it reminded me so much of final fantasy it was so COOL, well thought and so fun. it was awesome to see everyone taking care of ethan and doing their best to make him happy.
7. talking about ethan, this game opened a conversation in my head about charlotte and ethan, i started to think a lot about what charlotte said about ethan how she felt happier when gabe was around and now she was stuck with only ethan again, it made me think that maybe charlotte didn’t want to have a child or if she didn’t had ethan she could have gabe again. that could open a conversation about women who didn’t want to become a mom but it doesn’t mean that charlotte would hurt ethan which makes total sense to decide to leave her alone and not take her anger, she would never hurt ethan. it was again another tricking decision cause we get concerned about ethan when charlotte starts to talk but we know deep down she cares so much about her son, she does everything for him.
life is strange true colors became my favorite life is strange, the story it’s different and great, it’s literally finding the truth about everything, when we understand people’s feelings we discover the truth about them and situations, we understand everything. this game actually made me cry harder and think so much even more than the first one and boy i love the first one so badly. it talks a lot about empathy and how we react to people’s emotions, your choices in this game are way harder than messing with time or moving things with your mind, it’s choices about things that could happen in real life eventually and that is what makes this game so important to me, it’s real.
and also it's the first life is strange to have happy endings like.. ok big steps for my non depression finally
#life is strange#life is strange true colors#alex chen#gabe chen#max caulfield#chloe price#square enix#game#games#gaming#god i wrote so much#steph gingrich#life is strange 2#life is strange before the storm#ryan lucan
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dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!
he has not played the new minecraft update
dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p
dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter
dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle
sapnap has seen dream’s feet before
he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore
dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:
dream likes olives but especially black olives
his mother makes homemade pickles
he doesn’t have a phone case
he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack
dream has six fingers /j
he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal
dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D
what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”
he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today
mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file
dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data
creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of
3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much
patches is currently sleeping <3
swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!
many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools
dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though
he has been donating them to charity too though :)
dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago
he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it
he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson)
he really liked the Alex Rider series
has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books
has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner
has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon
he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)
dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150
he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)
he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)
dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it
word count: 76000 words for one of his stories
another one he wrote 5 chapters of
he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing
the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.
the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation
dream has a world building document
he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written
he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny
he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing
“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”
he cringes at his own old videos
dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing
the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh
very first person narrator
he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him
dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube
he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour...
“snazzy in a suit”
he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)
drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her
dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video
he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D
DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues
dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...
dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??
they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up
there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″
sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j
dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″
dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL
dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call
he will visit europe
he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D
dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe
he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal
it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in
dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house
spinach with chicken is good
not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)
“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)
dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most
he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D
it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much
dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)
she was the first person he really ever talked to about it
dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea)
dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school
he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him
dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads
he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)
he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when
he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!
he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan
he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)
the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !
he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet
padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream
dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla
?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars
he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff
callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content
he’s so insistent that it was callahan
dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL
dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...
the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL
he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing
dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people
dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon!
#dreamwastaken#dreamblr#long post#really long post xd#summary#not really a summary... literally just everything he said#merch discord
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Listen, I actually couldn't finish this episode. Like I lost brain cells, got ingestion and finally KO-ed because I could NOT grasp the plot. Not even seeing Lena again made this enjoyable for me. But here's what I got:
- I wonder how many takes Thomas took to say Nxyly's full name without biting his tongue off
- also I am so sorry Thomas that they had you sing. And yet somehow that wasn't the most cringe thing to happen in this episode
- Nia and Kara desperately assigning blame to themselves instead of just, idk, working together to fix the problem. Who cares who's fault it is??
- Alex jumping in front of kara when mxy brandishes the PZ projector is the only thing I liked
- Kelly's absence felt so odd after 2 back to back episodes of her front and centre
- Nia thinking that Kara would drag her for making a mistake makes me wonder if these characters even know each other
- kara: "I should've told you guys about Nxyly". Yes you idiot you absolutely should have! Like I get that they don't wanna bring it up but like how is ignoring what happened to her any better? Do they not do any Intel sharing?
- the fucking zookeeper is still here?!?!?
- look I wasn't expecting Lena to be talking to kara on the phone, I know better than that, but I had hoped it would at least be Nia considering that Lena and her have been bonding over their moms and it just makes sense??
- andrea's titty window sans kara or Lena to see it. What was it all for?
- I understand Lena using Andrea's resources to help her out and shit and I'm actually surprised the writer's remembered she doesn't have access to the LuthorCorp jet anymore. I honestly wouldn't have batted an eye if she did tho.
- the way we haven't had ANY scenes of dialogue between kara and lena aside from 6x01 and only ONE line from kara to Lena since then. Like are they actually going to brush everything under the goddamn rug? We heard from Alex that they've forgiven each other and it seems that way too but we haven't actually had the chance to judge that as an audience and it's (checks notes) 11 episodes already???
-Kara is back and yet Lena doesn't seem full. Kara is back and yet she hasn't been vulnerable with lena or with anyone really. Or was that all a lie?
- Nxyly is actually kinda hot in this episode. Interesting development there
- the team actually fighting a giant pussy cat and more brain cells have died. If they were hoping it would be amusing like the Legends fighting a giant Beebo, spoiler alert - it was not
- mxy and Nxyly and even the king has some keysmash names but one imp is actually named Jared? Just fucking Jared. Christ
- Lena being bullied by a bunch of Canadians is hilarious and I say this as a Canadian. Like Lena has stood her ground against Lex, Lillian, SG, an interrogation room filled with judgemental pricks, fucking Reign and yet, she looked two seconds from crying when denied her hotel room by some fucking Newfies. Get the fuck outa here.
- not a single Tim Hortons run in this entire episode. Are we sure she even went to Canada???
- at one point, I was rooting for Nxyly to win.
- so not only did they bring back that god awful wig that they actually had the audacity to make footage with it? That thing needs to be snatched and thrown into the sun like the trash monster.
- Katie looked so done in this episode and I don't even blame her. I suffered second hand embarrassment on her behalf. Those lines, her behaviour. It's like what the fuck happened to the Lena from the past 4 seasons?
- the mean bartender says "I've seen you on the news running arm in arm with a bulletproof alien" and the places my mind went is probably why I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the episode.
- so lemme see if I have this right. Lena's mom visits the cave lady in her dreams but never once thought to visit her traumatized little daughter?
- am I supposed to be upset that they killed an abuser? Because I'm not
- so much porn shots of the town car driving up and down some sketch and lonely road
- did Google maps really lead Lena to some random cave?? Bruh
- Lena's scenes felt so disconnected for a minute I thought I was watching a completely different show.
- aluminum foil on the props lord did they just say fuck it and made a Dollarama run for the cheapest 200ft roll they could buy?
- Kara being a mentor to Nia for the first time since that Nia centric episode last season. God I hate it here.
- they do remember J'onn is a shape shifter right? Why do we need an image inducer? I get the little Lena is still with the team crumb but it's stupid.
- still no word on M'gann huh
- yo since the Luthors are technically perceived on Earth-Prime as "good", what trail of bodies is this bar lady talking about? This isn't public knowledge and Lena's mom only killed 1 dude who frankly deserved it.
- sigh. We're really doing this witch Lena thing then.
- kara stop trying to reach the good in people! Just stop. When has this bullshit EVER WORKED? Some people are just too far gone. Accept it.
- stronger together has truly lost meaning on this show
- Alex and Kara being so willing to hold much less use the PZ projector is utter bullshit. Also they just have that thing lying around for any grabby hands to take?
- what the actual fuck is Kara's arc this season? Or Alex? Or poor J'onn. The man has been seriously neglected.
- kara is supposed to be the most powerful being on the planet and yet this show continues to nerf her abilities. God I missed the days of S1 when Kara looked like she could fuck shit up.
- also when is kara going to be the focus of her own show again? Are we ever going to properly address Kara's issues? We got two episodes of James processing his trauma and only 5 mins of flashbacks in 6x08 for Kara and a few fleeting moments sprinkled across the last 5 seasons. Ridiculous. Like it won't diminish her as a character to seek professional help, it won't make her any less of a hero. Think of how impactful that would be and the message that could send about the importance of mental health.
- glad to see a promo for this important episode next week (I honestly can't wait - Kelly in a head wrap is so personal to me y'all) but please I'm begging you, do not make the issue of race come at the expense of kara's intelligence and awareness. She's a journalist, she's seen xenophobia and written about it, she's been friends with James for years. Kara knows about racism. Please show that.
Needless to say I did not enjoy this episode at all. I was happy to see Lena again but all her scenes were just hard to watch. I feel like so much of their very limited time is being wasted and there's still so many things they haven't touched upon yet. When exactly are we gonna get to it? Better question, will we ever get to it? Probably not.
Like I wanted to see the super friends communicating, leaning on each other, character growth, being truly stronger together but no. They're giving us literally anything but that and it's frustrating.
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fic writer review!
thanks @inkedroplets for the tag!
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
Seven at the moment! Gearing up to start posting a longer multichap I've been working on soon, though. ;)
2. Whats your total ao3 word count?
35,678 - though I have an additional 198,658 on my old fanfic.net account lol
3. How many fandoms have you written for?
Four or five, depending on whether you count ATLA/LoK as one fandom or two. My old account had PJO and Harry Potter, and Supergirl most recently.
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
I mean, that's most of them, since there are only seven rn but:
lucky i'm in love with my best friend - supercorp, kara goes on a date with william and then interrupts it by realizing she's actually in love with Lena.
and rain will make the flowers grow - supercorp, a 'what if lena only found out kara was supergirl as kara was dying' (it's sad)
rhymes with monopoly - supercorp, same as this tumblr prompt idk i wanted to try cross-posting one of my tumblr fics. Not sure I'll do it again, tbh.
Missed Notifications in Your Chat: ‘operation expose kyalin - lok, kyalin/korrasami - university au text fic where they're convinced their profs are dating and are overall insufferable about it
we're all in the mood for a melody - lok, korrasami - asami plays the piano a lot it's very domestic fluff
5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
I do! Usually not all of them, though, depends on the mood i'm in I suppose. And what the comment says. I read them all multiple times though!
6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending
I'd say the wrong side of a second, which is just essentially just: what if Lena didn't manage to turn off Lex's mount norquay kryptonite canons on time in 5x8 and they hit Kara. The fic is the conversation where Lena has to tell Alex. It's one of two fics I've written where Kara dies, though I'd say the angstier of the two because they don't get time for love confessions and last kisses in that one. You may ask, helena, why do you have two oneshots in which Kara dies? Is this the name you're trying to make for yourself? I'm not sure, honestly. I'll just say i was enabled on discord for the second one. And that angst is kind of thrilling to write. And Kara is (masochistically, perhaps) a great character to kill.
(I tend to reserve tragic endings to oneshots I can knock out in an evening, though. If I'm investing major time into something, I want that happily ever after, please and thank you.)
7. Do you write crossovers?
I haven't, no, though that's not to say I never would.
8. Ever received hate on a fic?
I mean, not seriously. I've received the occasional negative/nasty comment but nothing I couldn't delete or disregard.
9. Do you write smut?
I have it was very scary. I'll probably do it again tho.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of?? I hope not. I think someone asked me if they could post a fic of mine to Wattpad once. I said no.
11. Ever had a fic translated?
Once back on ff.net! A lovely person translated a oneshot i'd written into french. It was very cool.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Not really, no. Though I had a friend that added so much in her beta-reading that it may as well have been cowriting.
13. All time fav ship?
All time fave? Oh idk. But supercorp has my whole heart at the mo
14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
mm well I started a (modern) Pride and Prejudice Supercorp AU but I got stuck trying to keep both Kara and Lena in character and the general plot structure of P&P. Maybe I'll go back to it if I ever figure out a way around that. Otherwise, i try to only post things I know I can finish.
15. Writing strengths?
Uhhhhhh gee idk. I like writing descriptions. Also dialogue.
16. Writing weaknesses?
Overuse of ellipses and M-dashes, perhaps? Repetition of certain adjectives and adverbs? Mostly lots of small things.
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
Not sure I'd trust myself to do it accurately, tbh. Maybe with a beta who spoke the language?
18. First fandom you wrote for?
Percy Jackson!
19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?
how do you possibly choose? I'm gonna say my road trip AU (still in the works, but upcoming soon) to drum up some hype for anyone who actually read this to the end. (Because i'm not sure i would, tbh. So if you did, hi here's a cookie don't tell anyone.)
i'll tag @mike-wachowski @mssirey @janusa @tsunderegirlfriend @smileymikey if y'all feel like it idk
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@greygullhaven and @lawlessferalgay tagged me both but on different blogs lol so here it is
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
49
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
50,094 (I write a lot of short fics lol)
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
9 fandoms (ish). Kingkiller Chronicle (27), Haven (16), and then one or two for Hamilton (both crossover), Leverage (also a crossover), Cloak ad Dagger, a retelling of Bluebeard, Red, White, and Royal Blue, and Legacies.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
A recount of Rio fro Red, White, and Royal Blue, where Alex and Henry tell their friends what happened in Rio when they first met. Very funny and I frequently forget I write it lol.
You can break my heart from Cloak and Dagger, a to all the boys au I never finished and have very few comments on oops.
kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight from Haven, an alternate scene in Fear and Loathing if Duke had offered to hook up with Nathan instead of rando girls.
Old Friends from Kingkiller Chronicle for Kote and Tempi, a ship I have very little investment in and is super super short but people love it??
an eventful morning from Haven, smut for the threegulls and it's light and fluffy and a little funny.
5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
a lot of my kkc fic gets super angsty cause there is a lot of like, character analysis in fic form, but There's a part I can't tell takes the cake and I cried writing it. it's about denna and her patron and domestic abuse. it was stuck in my head and I had to get it out. (but also wow there is a lot of angst in my fics???? @ me please explain).
6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
I'm partial to A life without you is empty, even tho I don't care about Timeless at all anymore, it had the part in the ending that was important to me, which is Lucy saving Amy because sisters are important, okay? But Good Morning from kkc is also super sweet because sim and fela are my darlings.
7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?
yes, kingkilller chronicle and leverage, as well as kingkiller chronicle and hamilton. yes, I do have a problem, thank you for noticing. one day, I'll write a kkc and haven crossover, I'm sure
8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I shock myself by saying yes to this, not even fics with smut, just straight up smut. as to what kind? i have no clue.
9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
usually, unless I get super distracted, it just feels kind.
10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not yet, but I write for unpopular fandoms so *shrug*
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not as far as I know
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
nope
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no, never gotten around to it. tried to once but it fell through in high school
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
Parker x Hardison (Leverage) (I do enjoy the ot3, but Parker and Hardison have my heart), Tandy x Tyrone (Cloak and Dagger), and Audrey x Nathan x Duke (Haven) (they are addictive)
15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
. . . I have several *hides behind table*
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have been told when I write for kkc, I sound like pat rothfuss, which like, WHOA. like, more than once, and that's an amazing compliment to me. I'm trying to carry that style over to other fandoms, but I usually prefer writing dialogue heavy with little description, or actively describing someone's feelings and nothing else for like two solid pages.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
describing setting is a huge one but whatever lol
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
only French if @logarithmicpanda has approved it (I have heard them talk so much about terrible translations in published books, I would not be comfortable doing it), but I probably wouldn't tbh. there has been no need so far.
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
before I published fic online, Stargirl in grade school and Half Resurrection Blues in college were both fics I handed in for grades lol. the first one was from Cinnamon the rat's pov and the second was Carlos going to therapy cause I think I'm funny. on ao3, kingkiller chronicle.
20. What's your favourite fic you've written?
hm. I really am not sure. maybe Blue and Red
tagging @nbvethbrenatto @coat-the-boneless @iamtheholyghost @bisexualshakespeare @cookiedoughmeagain @serendipityxxi and idk anyone else who sees this and wants to!!
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LOST character headcanons
here's a comprehensive list of my pronoun, gender, sexuality, and relationship headcanons for just about all the characters! this post will not have any spoilers.
when i say "with:" and list a BUNCH of people it doesn't necessarily mean that i think they're dating all of those people. by "with" it could mean anywhere from "dating and in love with" to "they banged once" lol. ill elaborate on which is which, tho. keep in mind i think that everyone on the island was definitely VERY sexually active and didn't give a fuck about keeping it a secret. i mean, they were all surviving on a deadly island together— why bother keeping secrets?
alex
she/they trans girl
bisexual
maybe polyamorous?
with: karl 🥺 they love each other so much
amy (goodspeed)
she/they gnc woman
lesbian
polyamorous
with: definitely dated juliet for a while while they had the chance, maybe even started crushing on kate
ana lucia
she/he/they/it gnc woman
lesbian as FUCK
monogamous maybe 🤔⁉️
with: maybe had/has a thing with kate? other than that i don't really know who she's compatible with
ben
he/it nonbinary (masc aligned)
gay aromantic
monogamous
dating john 👨❤️💋👨
bernard
he/him trans man
the only valid straight mf on the show
monogamous
married to rose
boone
he/she gnc man
SO SO SO VERY GAY
polyamorous
with: charlie, hurley, jin, michael, sawyer, sayid. id like to think he's dating all of them. maybe started off as a fwb thing but developed into more than that (looking at sawyer specifically)
cassidy phillips (sawyer's "long con")
she/her trans woman
lesbian
polyamorous
with: her and kate definitely had/have a thing
claire
she/they cis woman
bisexual
polyamorous
with: charlie, desmond, hurley, kate, sun. she's dating all of them! she's probably been ... intimate with desmond a handful of times too because they're both dating charlie. hurley is gay and not attracted to women, but he's definitely been in bed with claire a ton of times considering they're both in love with charlie.
charlie
he/they/pup pupgender trans masc
bisexual
so unbelievably polyamorous
with: oh good god here we go... claire, desmond, hurley, boone, eko, jin, michael, sawyer, aaaaand sayid! he loves them all so so dearly! i think he and sawyer definitely started out as fwb (like boone and sawyer). i just think charlie is very quick to fall head over heels. i love him so much 🥺
charlotte
she/it/they trans woman
lesbian
monogamous
naomi is her girlfriend
daniel (faraday)
he/they nonbinary trans masc
gay
polyamorous
with: desmond, hurley, jin, michael, miles, sawyer, sayid. he and desmond are CLASSIC soulmates. i mean, they literally invented the concept of the constant. they're so deeply in love that it's different from his other boyfriends. i honestly think he's also very quick to develop feelings! he and charlie totally would've been in love.
desmond
he/him gnc man
bisexual
polyamorous
with: claire, charlie, daniel, eko, hurley, jin, michael, miles, penny, richard, sawyer, sayid. i'd say charlie, daniel, and penny are the absolute loves of his life. i feel like everyone else he's definitely slept with on a few occasions at the very least. he and sayid are definitely boyfriends. hurley too <3
dogen
he/they gnc man
gay
monogamous
with: lennon
edward mars (the us marshal)
he/him cis man
straight, but maybe did a little experimenting in college ;)
monogamous
eko
he/they gnc man
bisexual
polyamorous
with: claire, charlie, desmond, hurley, jin, kate, michael, sawyer, sayid. of the people here, he's dating charlie, jin, michael, and sawyer. everyone else he had been intimate with/intimate at the same time as his boyfriends because of mutual partners lol.
ethan rom
he/him cis man
straight aromantic
monogamous
frank (lapidus)
he/him cis man
gay
non monogamous
with: richard :) and he's probably done it with dan, miles, michael, sawyer, and sayid a few times
horace (goodspeed)
he/they trans gener maybe 🤔
gay
polyamorous
with: pierre. sawyer and him for sure dated lol. and i'd imagine hurley, jin, and miles were never too busy to help out ;)
hurley
he/they/xe gnc amab dude
gay
polyamorous
with: boone, claire, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, jin, michael, miles, sawyer, sayid. now with hurley i do think he was dating or at least crushing on everyone here. he has a lot of intimate experiences with these guys when they get together to have fun with charlie. maybe not eko so much? but idk i still think they'd be cute together. but his soulmates are charlie and miles. hurley is gay and not attracted to women, but he's definitely been in bed with claire a ton of times considering they're both in love with charlie.
jacob
he/him cis man
straight aromantic asexual
jack
i REALLY want to just say cishet, but i don't think that's entiiireellyy true... just cus i hate him doesn't mean i can ignore the truth
he/him cis man
bisexual but the type of mf to call himself "heteroflexible" or "heteroromantic bisexual" lmaoo 💀
monogamous
dating nobody ❤️ live alone and die alone ❤️
jae-young lee (sun's friend/ex boyfriend)
he/him cis man
gay
monogamous
with: that "girl" he went to meet in america was actually a guy and theyre gay lovers 😼
jin
he/him cis man
gay
polyamorous
with: boone, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, horace, hurley, michael, miles, sawyer, sayid. he's just dating everyone here end of story. he and michael are soulmates tho 👨❤️💋👨
juliet
she/they/fae nonbinary (neutral) + gnc
lesbian
polyamorous
with: claire, kate, sun. they're all dating each other :>
karl
he/xe trans boy
bisexual
monogamous methinks 🤔 or maybe would be considered "non monogamous" because i think he'd be totally cool with alex also dating someone else alongside him
with: alex
kate
she/they woman
VERY bisexual
VERY polyamorous
with: claire, juliet, sun, sawyer. dating all of em! fuck jack all my homies hate jack.
lennon
he/him cis man
gay
monogamous
with: dogen
libby
she/they gnc woman
lesbian
monogamous idk
she was very obviously written into the show as the "romantic interest that hurley didn't have" but everything she does is some shit charlie would do. she's like charlie's cis-sona.
locke
he/him trans man
bi with a preference for men
monogamous
dating ben 👨❤️💋👨
man in black
they/he nonbinary masc
pansexual (aromantic)
monogamous
michael
he/him cis man
gay
polyamorous
with: boone, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, hurley, jin, miles, sawyer, sayid. dating everyone!
mikhail
he/him cis man
gay
monogamous
miles
he/they trans man
bisexual
polyamorous
with: claire, daniel, desmond, horace, hurley, jin, kate, michael, richard, sawyer, sayid. i think of him as charlie 2 in that he is also a whore (/pos). he fucks to survive. BUT he is also in love with all these people. other than horace maybe, that was just a fwb thing. and i don't think he and kate dated but they've definitely fucked considering they're both dating sawyer, same thing with claire
naomi (dorrit)
she/her trans woman
lesbian
monogamous
with: charlotte
nikki
she/they cis woman
straight
monogamous
with: paulo!
nour abbed "nadia" jazeem
she/her cis woman
lesbian
monogamous
paulo
he/him cis man
bisexual
monogamoius
with: nikki
penny
she/her cis woman
bisexual
non monogamous
with: just desmond! but she loves her husband's boyfriends endlessly and has definitely been involved in the bedroom with them sometimes too
pierre
he/him cis man
bisexual
polyamorous
with: horace and lara (chang, miles's mom)
richard
he/they gnc man
gay
non monogamous?
with: he's dating frank and miles, but has also been intimate with desmond, hurley, jin, sawyer, and sayid because of mutual boyfriends.
rose
she/her cis woman
bisexual
monogamous
married to bernard
rousseau
she/her trans woman
lesbian
monogamous
sawyer
he/him cis man
he is also VERY bisexual
also violently polyamorous
with: boone, claire, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, frank, hurley, jin, kate, michael, miles, richard, sayid. i think the only people here he isn't dating are claire, frank, and richard.
sayid
he/him, maybe he/they, gnc man
gay
polyamorous
with: boone, charlie, daniel, desmond, eko, hurley, jin, michael, miles, richard, sawyer. dating all of them! he's also been intimate with a kate pretty often for reasons that stay between sawyer, kate, and himself <3
sun
she/they trans woman
lesbian
polyamorous
with: claire, juliet, kate. dating all.
tom brennan (kate's childhood boyfriend)
he/him trans man
gay
monogamous
walt
he/they trans masc
he's a kid so im not going to headcanon a solid sexuality as that would be weird lol. some kind of mlm tho
extra: i care about him so much he doesn't get enough attention in the fanbase :( my bb had so much potential and the writers just decided to ignore him :/
shannon
she/her female
heterosexual
monogamous
with: nobody. ever. die. die a painful painful death millions of times over again
THE END !
that shit took forever to type out holy FUCK.
#LOST#abc lost#lost abc#charlie pace#daniel faraday#desmond hume#hugo reyes#hurley reyes#jin soo kwon#juliet burke#kate austen#john locke#michael dawson#miles straume#richard alpert#sawyer ford#james ford#james sawyer ford#sayid jarrah#jack shephard#mine
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Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED
Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.
Here we go:
...................................
23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)
He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...
22. Kelly (Season 9-10)
I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.
20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)
Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.
18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)
Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.
17. Larry (Season 6)
The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.
16. Jared (Season 11)
Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.
15. Calista (Season 11)
ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.
14. Sandy (Season 10-11)
Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.
You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!
13. Alex (Season 9)
Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.
12. Kyle (Season 3)
Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!
11. Claudia (Season 10)
So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.
10. Hedi (Season 11)
Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).
My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?
9. Julia (Season 10)
I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!
8. Matty (Season 4-5)
Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.
7. Henry (Season 4)
Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!
6. Simon (Season 1-2)
Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!
5. Batiste (Season 10)
Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.
4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)
Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!
3. Neil (Season 7-8)
The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!
2. Derek (Season 5-8)
Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.
1. Duran (Season 8)
Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.
#I could write so much more for each of these but I’ll spare you#guys nobody talks about the AMOUNT of love interests Debbie had over the course of this damn show#I miss characters with a lot of depth!#I want to do more of these relationship lists for other characters#my lists#my favs#shameless#gallavich#debbie gallagher#franny gallagher#sandy milkovich#debbie x sandy
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character ask: kagami, momoi, alex and himuro 👀👀👀
!!! omg thank u Ceru! u might be one of my favorite mutuals <33 (putting this under a read more just so I can speak at lengths about each individual character)
Why I like Kagami: this is where I sarcastically ask “why DON’T i like him” but that’s literally the next question so; he’s everything i want to be and more. He has the determination and the willpower to make his own dreams come true, he’s gay as shit, he’s tall and buff and well-adjusted, mature enough to live on his own at an annoyingly young age, he’s funny and dumb and a total himbo as well as an excellent advisor bc of how grounded he is.
Why I don’t: I’m... not really good with explosive people. Violent men with loud voices especially scare me, and I’d think I’d flinch around him a lot and that would make me rlly anxious.
Favorite episode: it’s a toss-up between the Seirin fam visiting his place for the first time (is it where Kuroko confesses his love to him and then passes out in his arms? idk), and the onsen episode. I also loved all his plays against Kise and Aomine. AND the training camp w him running a lot in the sand.
Favorite season/movie: season 2 probably because he’s not a jerk anymore, but he’s still on his way to shed off any asshole behavior stuck to him. And I actually liked Last Game?
Favorite line: “There’s no such thing as useless effort.” and “This is our drama and we write the plot.” because he’s so ridiculous.
Favorite outfit: all of his casual fits... comfy but manly is my Jam
OTP: AoKaga....they’re truly soulmates, star-crossed lovers, canonically brought together by fate.
Brotp/otp no. 2: KagaKuro, I love them
Head Canon: I have several collections because I think too much about this boy, but here’s something I think about his family: he doesn’t know what happened to his mom. He never asked, because it wasn’t relevant, and he didn’t want to inconvenience his dad by questioning him. Occasionally, as a kid he felt like he was missing out on something (seeing other kids with their moms, feeling like they’re being treated with much more gentle care because they have moms), but as he grew older he realized that nurturing behavior shouldn’t have been limited to only a mother, and that he was just straight up neglected without any regards to missing a parent in his life.
Unpopular opinion: I never realized this was an unpopular opinion but I’m glad he went back to America at the end of Last Game. Obviously, it’s sad that he had to separate from the others, but I felt like Japanese basketball has always been just a stepping point to him, and now that he’d beat the best of them, it was time to move on. And it also warms my heart that him getting scouted in the US gave Aomine hope to aim big, too. I felt like both of them would’ve felt trapped in Japan with their skill sets.
A wish: I want him to be happy and gay and to confront Himuro and tell him how hurt he was by how he treated him and probably do the same to his dad too
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: ....whatever I’d say Shinsun has probably written it/will write it, but I don’t want him to forget about the GoM just because he becomes a world-famous athlete.
5 words to best describe them: sweet child with anger issues
My nickname for them: not mine (it’s Sypha’s) but “Kags”, Kagami, Tigerboy, Kagababe, Baby
Why I like Momoi: she is SO nurturing and sweet and she cares so much about her boys!! I’m sorry it always turns into “how they remind me of myself” but actually I get feeling like a background character and being the moral/emotional/physical support of those who are more talented or in any way better than you. I feel a strange kind of kinship with her and also,,, feminine girls make my heart stop, and it doesn’t get more feminine than Momoi. Added: Aomine aside, the Touou team wouldn’t worth shit without her skills tbh, and she’s not in any way less than the GoM. Also, I appreciate her being the one person to try to keep their friend group together.
Why I don’t: Analytical People Scare me like!! how do u know stuff people are Unknowable!! I usually am also irked by her pointing out Riko’s breast size but I can just pretend that’s in a gay way (maybe Momoi likes girls with small boobs and she’s just bad at flirting) (also I don’t exactly liked her calling Aomine a “ganguro” but I have too little knowledge on the use of this word to say exactly why)
Favorite episode (scene if movie): uh the one where Aomine made her cry? It really came through how much love she actually has for her friends at that one.
Favorite season/movie: she was great in all of them!!
Favorite line: I can’t remember the exact quote and Google isn’t really helpful either but the one where she made Kuroko promise they’ll always play together or something? Or that they’re gonna beat Aomine?? idk?
Favorite outfit: I like all of them but mostly I just appreciate her wearing so many hoodies, she looks so cute in them
OTP / Brotp: it’s both AoMomo. I feel like the have the most special and strongest bond in the entire series.
Head Canon: She’s never been shown to do, but I feel like she wears Aomine’s clothes a Lot. Also, they definitely have sleepovers To This Day.
Unpopular opinion: Momoi is good at basketball and she loves playing!!! But try being successful in it when ur opponents are Giants and Way More Buff than you are
A wish: I wish people appreciated her more!! Both in fandom and in canon. She’s an amazing person and she has her own skills and strengths that are rarely explored or even mentioned anywhere.
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her falling out with her boys ;-; I do not want that
5 words to best describe them: strawberry sweetheart to steal ur heart
My nickname for them: Satsuki :> I feel like it’s a little too much to call characters on their first names sometimes but hers is so cute I can’t
Why I like Alex: yet again another woman with an extensive skill set. I love her persistence and again I appreciate getting disillusioned and finding your way back to the thing you love. Also it’s just sweet that she did that by teaching (again, something I can relate to)
Why I don’t: the whole “kissing children” thing rubbed me the wrong way but again, just like Momoi’s obsession with comparing breast sizes, it’s just bad/sexist writing from Fujimaki probably
Favorite episode (scene if movie): adshg any and all where she expressed that Himuro and Kagami are equally important to her <33 that shit makes my heart burst
Favorite season/movie: she only appears towards the end of s2 and in s3 so... I guess s3?
Favorite line: its so Bad that u literally can’t find the iconic quotes of these iconic ladies anywhere but... her story on finding her passion again through teaching kids, and anytime she mentions her fondness of Kagami and Himuro.
Favorite outfit: her iconic olive green coat with the short red shorts... wtf was that I loved it.
OTP: she doesn’t really interact with people her age but I’ve heard she’s shipped with Masako Araki and I’ve seen some seriously good fanarts and like... Yes Good I’d Love To See It
Brotp: I feel like her and Himuro would be that sassy pair that Kagami tries and fails to contain and they get into all sorts of weird, absurd situations asdjs what I’m trying to say is Kagami has to bail them out of jail from time to time
Head Canon: fck me if I’m wrong but she’s the lesbian single mom of the two gay kids she reluctantly adopted from the streets
Unpopular opinion: it’s more like another headcanon, but she can dunk and she taught Kagami how to do it.
A wish: I’d love her to coach the Seirin fam more!! Pls let her be part of her children’s lives (she could also judge streetball games between the goms it would be fun)
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: anything about her being romantically involved with her pupils makes me.................no
5 words to best describe them: Beautiful Beach Blonde Basketball....goddess
My nickname for them: Alex!! sometimes An Icon
Why I like Himuro: em dash Asdgsdj I’m joking, I’m becoming more and more fond of the boy. Once I realized that he shouldn’t have been the “bigger person” in that situation and one year doesn’t really mean much when you’re that young and that hurt, I realized he’s actually a good and hard-working kid and I’m sorry for giving him so much shade. Also I really like his snark and sass, but that might not even be canon at this point tbh
Why I don’t: I’m still sort of irked by him beating down on Kagami because he was envious/mad, but I realized the aspect of that situation that Really got to me was how devoted Kagami still was to him after all that. That devotion was what felt toxic, nothing that Himuro actually did to him.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): the time they met up w Kagami just to exchange a dramatic socially distancing bro fist and a few encouraging words.... gays be Like That
Favorite season/movie: I really didn’t mind s3 Himuro
Favorite line: apparently he’s said some iconic stuff that I don’t remember (and my sources don’t seem really legit) but I’m gonna say “let’s see you become number 1, bro” because again, that’s just so ridiculous and endearing. On one hand he really went from loathing Kagami to rooting for him and wanting him to reach his full potential and on the other, honey ur like 17 stop speaking like That
Favorite outfit: his knitted V-neck sweaters and the black coat with the white fur.... boy’s got all the fashion sense that’s missing from Kagami
OTP: can I say.....AoHimu asdfh I ship 3/4 of these characters with Aomine what does that say about me
Brotp: KagaHimu. They can be sweet, but I’ve only ever seen Jake write them really well
Head Canon: I’ve been entertaining the idea of....trans Himuro.....
Unpopular opinion: everyone thinks that Kagami is the violent kid and Himuro is the chill, sweet child who’s somehow wound up with this mess of a fiery tiger, but it’s actually Himuro who taught Kagami how to fight and Kagami learned quite a lot of aggression from him
A wish: I feel like Himuro should’ve gotten a separate episode to explore his thoughts, feelings and past. He had so much potential as a character Is2g
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: him quitting basketball would fucking destroy me. I’d be devastated for others too, but it would really pull on my heartstrings if he just dropped the only thing he’s been so passionate about.
5 words to best describe them: gender-non-conforming emo child
My nickname for them: Himu, Tatsuya, Tatsu
#ask and i shall answer#izukillme#himuro tatsuya#alex garcia#momoi satsuki#kagami taiga#this is long as fuck#also happy birthday himuro??!!!!!
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Requests (5/8/2021)
Hi lovelies! I just filled up the queue through May but I have a LOT of requests left. So I’m posting the remaining requests below! If you see your request here that means it’ll be posted in June at the earliest. If you don’t see your request it means it’s probably going to be posted in May (although I did delete two messages that weren’t “requests” as much as “demands”, messages that said, “Do this,” or, “Make that,” which I don’t respond to). There are some requests I addressed in a post on April 27th though that won’t be posted until June also so be sure to check that out. Thanks for the support lovelies! Hope you like what’s to cum. ;)
Anonymous said:
Could u do emma stone from amazing spider man i like her look from the 2nd one but its fine whichever u use
Yep! Second one it is. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi was wondering if you could do a caption of a superhero that is captured by their villain and turned into an evil hench woman thought about anne hathaway as cat woman if you could thanks love your captions btw
Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Could you do a caption where a white guy gets turned into Kerry Washington. And becomes addicted to sleeping with black men? I was thinking of using the scene from little man where shes in bed after a night of "doing it". Can that be done or is that too graphic of a description?
I don’t think it’s too graphic? I’ve never seen Little Man (idk what it is tbh) but I googled “Kerry Washington Little Man” & found a pic I think works so I can do this.
Anonymous said:
I don't remember if I requested this already or not but could you do one of Haley atwell from captain america I was thinking like a super soldier test turns a guy into her but he then finds out that was the plan that the government wanted to make super sissies instead
You did not request it and I can do it!
Anonymous said:
Hi could you do a caption using Betsy brandt? Shes the aunt from breaking bad incase you didnt know I just think shes beautiful and hope you could do a caption for her idk what about maybe something about milfs thatd be good ig whatever you decide anyways thanks
I DO know who that is! And there have been quite a few MILF requests (as you’ll see) so all you MILF lovers will be happy going forward. :)
Anonymous said:
Hello first off big fan 2nd off im sorry if this is too much but I have abit of a list for ya if u can do these thats great if not its ok just sorry i know its alot. Emma thompson(saving mr banks) Sean young, (ace venture) Rhea Pearlman, ( matilda) Christina agulara( burlesque) sigourney weaver, (alien or ghostbusters) emma stone (cruela) thank u there will be a part 2
Heres part 2 its just ones I dont really have any specific thing in mind. Tia and Tamara. Idna menzel. Adele. Bonnie Tyler. Ruby rose. Sarah chalke. Kristen schaal. Melissa McCarthy. Megan trainer. Elizabeth gillies. Like i said if u can great if not thats alright atleast u'll have some stocked up for a rainy day thanks again and sorry again
Hello im the one who gave the list of requests sorry once again I just wanted to further explain one of them the christina Aguilera from burlesque one to be specific I would like the one where she is wearing the bowler hat with the loose frizz curls thats the only one I can think of to elaborate on the rest are up to u thanks again sorry again
Ok so this is A LOT of requests and in the future I would like to ask people to limit their requests to three celebs at a time, but I’ve never said that before so it wouldn’t be fair to the person who requested all these. So yes I can do these requests. The only one I won’t do is Sean Young from Ace Ventura because her character in Ace Ventura is really really transphobic (or, more specifically, how that character is written). And I can do that specific Christina Aguilera one. Also since this IS so many requests I’ll probably be sprinkling them in through instead of doing them all at once, & I already wrote an Elizabeth Gillies one coming out towards the end of May.
Anonymous said:
If possible could you do Elizabeth perkins as Wilma Flintstone I had the idea of it litterally being set in cave man times and depicting the forat instance of feminization, the first sissy, being of a weaker evolution and stuff causing the tribe to pick him as the tribes cave sissy
Oooo, sounds fun. Totally!
Anonymous said:
Could you do Marissa tomei? Was thinking hero type story by night hes a crime fighing vigilante by day She is a stay at home sissy wife waiting for hubby to get home to pleasure him
I can do this!
Anonymous said:
Could you try making one where a boy who’s always been short his entire life gets feminized by his friend? I was thinking someone like Skai Jackson would be great for this
Sure thing! I found one of Skai where she’s of age so I’ll use that. :) (I won’t use a GIF of here her though since most of them are from Jessie when she’s under 18)
Anonymous said:
I was wondering if you could do one about a college professor named Peter whose autocloset gets hacked by his students. They transform and feminize him into a sexy latina milf so they have someone sexy to look at during class. Actress of your choice, someone over 30 please.
Oooo, I’ve got the perfect celeb for this. ;)
Anonymous said:
Hi I actually have 3 u may have done them before but if u can thatd be great. 1 Natalie Portman (V for vendetta ) the little girl outfit with the pigtails I was thinking like a lost bet. 2 P!nk (beautiful trauma) the house wife look is so good. 3 Elizabeth olsen (wandavision) when shes in the bed wearing her costume like a morning after thing. Thats all like I said if u can thank u love ur captions
Ah gotcha. I can do these!
Anonymous said:
Hi id like to start off by saying i love your captions. Was wondering if you could do one of Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona flowers when she had Green hair as far as the story I dont really have anything other than green being the guys fav color idk hopefully you can do something with that anyways thank you for your time have a good one
I can work with this. :)
Anonymous said:
Hey I have a specific scene in mind its of kaley cuoco when she was on the big bang theory I dont remember the episode but its where shes sitting on the couch when her BF walks in and shes dressed in this purple lingerie and shes got her hair up its beautiful I was thinking if u could do a caption on that? Maybe like a roommates thing sorry I dont have enough info on the scene
I’VE HAD THIS IMAGE FOR SO LONG BUT COULDN’T THINK OF A STORY SO YES I CAN DO THIS! :D
Anonymous said:
Could u ro Lindsay sloane from bring it on I had to look up the name I just remember her as "Big red" what they called her in the movie
Yep! I love Bring it On. :)
Anonymous said:
Omg i love the Alex kingston caption u did recently whenever u get a chance could u do more River song captions also the billie piper one again whenever u get the chance
You got it. :)
Anonymous said:
Ok if you could i have an idea for a caption of a guy who wants to be internet famous but cant cut it as a guy so he pretends to be a lady on an onlyfans but doesnt show off anything too much then he gets surprised by his Male roommate who found out and his roommate blackmails him into making more "Private" videos to get cash I was thinking using meg turney if u could thanks
Sounds fun. Sure thing! :)
Anonymous said:
Hello I know you mightve done this one already but the one of Katy Perry from "Hey hey hey" music vid could u do another one from that still her with the blonde hair but when shes just waking up instead thank you
You bet!
Anonymous said:
I know you got alot of requests lately but if you dont mind one more could you do Drew Barrymore from Batman forever?
I had to double check how old she was in that but yes! I can do this. :)
Anonymous said:
I know I probably wont see this for awhile but if u could can u do a caption of debby ryan from jessie where she is dressed like a little kid and has her hair in pigtails? I was thinking like a babysitting gig gone wrong for the story like dress up goes too far or something anyawys thank u
Do you know what episode that’s from? I found the image and I think it looks great but I just want to make 100% sure that Jessie was an adult when she made it. If you know the episode feel free to message me & I can go ahead with it. :)
Anonymous said:
I have 3 if u could do them 1. Zazie beets 2. Zendaya 3. Tessa Thompson. Thats all thanks
I actually have Zazie Beets and Zendaya caps coming up before May ends, but you’ll get the Tessa Thompson one in June. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi could you do another caption tor jenna fischer from the office please?
Yep!
Anonymous said:
Could you do a cap where a teacher named Peter gets feminized into a latina housewife and use Marisol Nichols from Riverdale? Can't ignore the MILFs.
Damn right you can’t! I’ll be sure to do this. :)
Anonymous said:
Addison Rae or Ariana Grande please
I’ll do both! :)
@tammyboy25 said:
Hi there! I was wondering if you could please do one where a sister or best girlfriend guilt trips a boy into being their maid of honor for her wedding? Bachelorette party, Dress shopping, getting their hair done, dancing with other boys at the reception are some ideas I had. Thank you so much either way!!!
Ooooo I love this! You got it sweetie. :)
Anonymous said:
Wow, I really loved the "From the Amazons" caption you did with Wonder Woman! Could you do something similar with a guy named Rene put into the body of a sluttfied superheroine? Maybe Scarlet Witch/Wanda? Thanks!
“From the Amazons” has been getting a lot of love so thanks everyone! I can totally do this with an Elizabeth Olsen pic. :)
Anonymous said:
I'm not sure if youve seen falcon and the winter soldier yet but Erin kellyman who plays kharli in that is a relatively new actress so I could understand if you dont know her but if you do could you make a caption for her? Thank you
I actually do know who she is! I saw her in “Falcon & Winter Soldier” and Solo so I can totally do a cap with her. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi, yesterday I said how much I loved that Wonder Woman caption you did with Gakl Gadot. And I've since discovered the manips made by Saturdays24. My name is Rene, and I'd loved to be turned into a girl in one of his pics, particularly Taylor Swift! Thanks!
Sure thing! @saturdays24 gave me permission to use their stuff a few years ago so I can do any caps with their manips. :)
Anonymous said:
Can you please do Priyanka Chopra captions
Sure!
Anonymous said:
Can you do Lala Anthony captions. I am a big fan of her
Totally! (For some reason I can’t find a good GIF of her though)
Anonymous said:
Can you do a cap with the new Billie Eilish Vogue Pics? That would be so so amazing.
Anonymous said:
billie eilish or addison rae?
Anonymous said:
Hi I remember someone else asking for a billie eilish caption since she was of age now but it was still too recent to have any pics of her at the right age well now shes 19 and I just saw she was on the cover of vogue afew days ago ....would that work?
Don’t worry, a Billie Eilish cap from British Vogue is on the way! She is an adult now & so I can make caps with her. :) (Also to the person who asked about Addison Rae, like I said earlier I’ll make one for her too. :D)
Anonymous said:
I really liked ur newest caption of Kelly lebrock as a boss being spotted enfemme I was wondering if u could do a follow up to that one? Maybe with her from woman in red. Id just like to see the coworker confront the boss
I like that idea! Totally. :)
Anonymous said:
Could you do a caption with Jhene Aiko or Jenna Ortega? They’re both similar to me in body build so it would be pretty amazing to see them in a caption.
Jhene Aiko yes. Jenna Ortega MAYBE. Jenna Ortega only JUST turned 18 and that was during the COVID-19 pandemic so there aren’t going to be a lot of projects where she’s an adult to pull from. So if I can find something maybe otherwise you might just have to wait a bit. Sorry if that’s a bummer. :/
Anonymous said:
Can you do Nikita Dragun captions please?
I’ve no idea who this is, sorry.
Anonymous said:
Idk if u know the band pentatonix or not but if u do could u do a caption for Kirstin Maldonado they just came out with a music video for 90s medley and she is gorgeous in it much appreciated :)
I’ve actually done some Kristin Maldonado caps already so I can totally do another. :)
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First Line Meme
Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!
Hey @applesfallingfromblondehair, thanks for the tag love!! likewise i dont usually do this but this feels interesting so lets see if my ass has improved over the last few stories lmfkjgjk
also this will prob be a mix of xmcu fic + kingsman fic bc i think i have a more or less equal number of fics written for both
1.
The first time Charles meets Lucifer Morningstar, actual devil from hell, ruler of the underworld, fallen son of the lord above and god knows what else, it had been after Erik had been sentenced to life imprisonment in the highest security cell in the Pentagon.
- this is from a professor and a devil walk into a bar, which is kinda a crossover rarepair fic that rose out of me and mutuals on twitter discussing tom ellis and james mcavoy being roommates and kinda... devolved from there. i am proud of this one lmfnjgkj
2.
“Are you okay, Professor?” Hank asks quietly.
Charles blinks. He supposes it’s a valid question. He’s been in a bit of a funk the past few days- scratch that actually, the past few years. He’s just lost so much- his father, and then his mother’s love, and then Raven and Erik and Sean and countless others. Building a school, gaining students he loved to teach and nurture hadn’t helped him in the slightest, and he’s as lost as he ever was, wandering the halls of a drafty mansion alone, feeling like he’s been stranded at sea even whilst surrounded by people.
- from in the belly of the beast, which again came out of me wondering what would have happened if fox had gone w their original plan and charles had been that last horseman instead of erik. this story will prob gain a sequel... sometime in the near future when im not too bogged down by current wips
3.
The Xavier family hall of the deceased- because of course they’re weird enough to have a cemetery- is full of rows upon rows of holograms. Charles is four and gets bored of his father crying over his mother’s hologram, so he toddles over to the other rows. Unfamiliar names, all of them- Charles is young, and he doesn’t understand death. He doesn’t even know who his mother is, who’d died at childbirth and left him with a father still at a loss when it came to bringing up a kid.
- from tequila on a spaceship, the sequel to a fic that still has some people angry at me i think. this fic never did gain as much traction as the first one but im still proud of it esp since it discusses certain themes of reincarnation that ive always wanted to see explored for myself in reincarnation aus (and i only ever saw it in danveresque’s reincarnation au)
4.
There are cork boards covering every inch of the wall. Red strings, photographs, conspiracy threads, everything. Raven takes it in, swallowing, noticing the picture in the middle.
It’s one of Charles, when he’d been in university. His final year- he'd just been done presenting his year- end project, his fringe a tumbled mess and a bright smile on his lips. Erik had taken the picture, Charles scurrying to his side once he’d been done and demanding to look at the image, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. He looks like how Raven had always imagined him to be.
“He wouldn’t want this,” she finally says, turning to look at Erik.
- from tequila on a beach, the first fic to the fic above. this fic is v special to me because i actually wrote this on a spiral after having a very tough visit with one of my parents in the hospital after a surgery for organ removal to prevent the onset of cancer. its simpler than my other fics yet i think more powerful because of what happens. also i think the first time i killed charles off lol (spoiler alert). also idk if ppl were aware of this but this is called tequila on a beach precisely bc charles and erik were tipsy from tequila at a frat party and then went to a beach. its the way they first met (and will continue to meet for all their next lives)
5.
Erik doesn’t know how it all started. Maybe it was when his insane sergeant had started rambling about imaginary cities, treasures of gold and cursed incantations. Maybe it was when trickles of rumours had started pouring down about the higher ups wanting to investigate unfound territory, disregard the Egyptian government’s feelings on the matter, and put a previously unfound myth on the map for all the world to see. Or maybe, Erik thinks, it was when archaeologist Klaus Schmidt put a bullet through his mother’s head and he ended up going to America armed with dual citizenship and the sole intent of wanting to drive a coin directly between Schmidt’s eyes, joining a division of the American military focused solely on guarding archaeological digs- more importantly, in Egypt, where Schmidt’s interest had shifted.
- from courting the end of the world, another one i’m just insanely proud of! this is the first time i’ve ever attempted a multichapter movie au and it actually managed to work pretty well, i at least haven’t run out of inspiration for it yet lmfjgjg. also erik as himbo rick connell... very rent free in my head
6.
The day after they murder Shaw and leave his house of horrors, Erik crosses the Canadian border with Charles across his back. Charles had started getting tired while they’d been walking, stumbling and nearly tripping until Erik had forced him to get on his back, ignoring Charles’ protests.
The blood’s seeping out steadily from Charles’ nose, staining his shirt and soaking it through. It’s been leaking on and off, and the effects are already obvious in the dark circles beneath Charles’ eyes. Any more, and Erik knows they’ll have to find him a doctor. He hopes the nearest town in Canada has one that would be willing to treat them.
- from a world built for two. i actually dk where the inspiration for this came from, i think i was once again on a depressive spiral and wanted to break my comfort characters into pieces and put them together again. this also deals with codependency and unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result of trauma which i showed as sweet in the fic but i would def not recommend in real life. pls if u relate to either charles or erik in this go see a therapist
7.
The call comes in the afternoon, an hour before Charles is supposed to teach his Intro to Genetics class. Frowning, Charles abandons the game of Candy Crush he’d admittedly been playing rather badly and picks it up. “Charles sp-”
“We need you, Prof,” Kitty says desperately into the phone. “He’s been in a temper all morning, and then Alex’s reports missed out a whole subsection, so he’s fired the entire marketing team! Please, Professor, you have to come immediately!”
- from and we can be pirates. i wrote this in like 4 seconds for my friend who wanted professor charles and ceo erik and actually did not expect this to gain the attention it did... its always the fics u write in like 4 seconds lmfjggj. a sequel for this Is coming too probably at some point in the very far future
8.
Charles Xavier can admit as he sits across from Essex, hands cuffed to the desk, that in hindsight, this had perhaps not been one of his better ideas.
He refuses to admit it as he controls Erik’s mind, preventing him from lashing out and making him close his eyes to the nightmare unfolding in front of him. He refuses to admit it as he gets shoved into the back of a black pickup truck, and the butt of a gun is smashed across his forehead hard enough to knock him out cold for a few hours. He refuses to admit it when he wakes up what appears to be hours later in a cold interrogation room, hands cuffed to the table in front of him, with a suppression collar rendering his mind dark and almost achingly silent.
- from from the land of gods (bring me home). i’ve been struggling w this fic a lot (it didnt come as easily to me as the first one did) but its getting there. also i put charles through hell in this rip sorry mister xavier
9.
In the aftermath, both of them stand at the border of the mansion. The air feels frigid, slicing into Raven’s lungs like a thousand paper cuts. “Charles, please,” she begs, heart in her throat and voice hoarse. “He wouldn’t want you to be like this. He wouldn’t want you to do this. It’s not too late, you can come back.”
Charles gazes back, a brick wall. He hasn’t even cleaned up, still in that damnable yellow and blue suit with blood drying in the corners of his mouth, the bridge of his nose. There’s nothing in his eyes- blank, almost see through. He looks as if he’s a mere shade, a ghost lounging about where he once was. Raven knows better.
“I will raze the world to the ground,” he finally says, his voice free of any inflection, “and when I’m done, no one will be left standing. Not you, and certainly not me.”
- from where all the poets went to die, a dark fic based on what would have happened if moira had killed erik with the bullets. its the first time ive written dark charles and it was v fun if im being honest
10.
Charles is a light sleeper. It’s a trait that stays with him- all the way from his father and the tests to taking care of his mother to Cain Marko and his fists to Cuba and then now, the dust of Washington settling over him and making the waking world lie an inch beyond his eyelids. It therefore stands to reason that the second the windowsill creaks he’s up in a shot, hoisting himself up and lashing out with his telepathy instantly.
That’s not a trait that had stayed with him. That’s a newly formed trait, bitter and bold, carved into existence by Cuba by his students disappearing one by one in Vietnam by the letters that announce Sean’s death in black unfriendly print by-
The tendrils of his telepathy forged cold and distant meet a barrier and recoil, stunned. He focuses his eyes and then widens them, staring at Erik who stares back, hidden beneath that infernal muddied magenta helmet of his. They stare at each other for a moment before Erik clears his throat.
- from in the valley of kings (you will come home). my first ever cherik fic! im actually also proud of this one even if i ended it horribly and half my mutuals refuse to read it bc of how it ended LMFJGJGJ. i cant believe this was supposed to be a funny and cute kid fic and then i turned it into an angst ridden mess. also leo is actually an oc whose adult version is fancasted as charlie rowe by me and another mutual on twitter and im v proud that readers are willing to die for the baby
11.
Mike has to google it, finding a crafts shop nestled into the corner of the street right smack in the middle of Louisiana, past a long and winding dirt road and the crumbling farmhouses relics of a time long past. The air is hot, humid, sticking to the back of his neck like an unwieldy parasite as he pushes the door of the shop open to the sound of the bell tinkling above.
He finds the origami paper quickly enough and has a momentary breakdown about what Bill’s favourite colour even is- he had never thought to ask him. Twenty seven years of following every single footstep of his like a dedicated, most definitely creepy stalker, three months of more than a few states traversed with Bill’s laughter now echoing in his ears like a shadow that trails after him, and this is what stumps him. It takes ten minutes, but he finally settles on light green.
- my first and last entry into the IT fandom bc i love these two but to be very fair there isn’t much content out there for him (and twitter content actually intimidates me lmfjgjjg) a thousand paper cranes never got much traction either but i suspect its bc i was horrible at promoting it. also i very much love this fic even if it never did that well bc ive always wanted to write a fic like this after watching the movie in cinemas in 2019
12.
ok nsfw i guess
Mornings start like this- Eggsy snuffling into David’s neck, attempting to work his way back up to wakefulness as David sleeps the sleep of the dead, the streams of morning sunlight gradually lightening up the room. It’s a while before he gets the energy to sit up, pushing an eager V off the bed- V for Vendetta, a kitten named after one of David’s favourite movies that they’d adopted about a month after moving in together- before stumbling to the loo. He’s already in the shower when David comes in, naked as the day he’s born with his arms entwining themselves around Eggsy’s waist as he murmurs a sleep-soft, “Good morning, love,” as he presses a kiss into the two-days-old hickey on Eggsy’s shoulder. His breath smells of toothpaste, the minty fresh kind he insists on buying from Target no matter how much Eggsy insists that the other brand is much better. Without fail, Eggsy always has a split second thought of thinking that he must truly be in heaven because no way can this be his reality, every single day, before sinking to his knees and allowing David’s cock to hit the back of his throat.
- from that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of. i genuinely wish i had an opinion for this but i don’t remember writing this its been way too long
13.
The first time Eggsy sees her is in Trafalgar Square.
Trafalgar Square is uncomfortably packed on any normal day, but on New Year’s it is quite the hothouse. Sweating armpits and hot bodies plastered against each other, the twinkling lights overhead providing a flash of blue and green and yellow and red, screaming children and giggling teenagers shoving their way through- it’s a recipe for disaster. Eggsy doesn’t know how he ends up there. It happens sometimes- one second he blinks, sequestered in the comfort of his living room, and the next he’s somewhere else, as if he’s been teleported. “Life goes past you,” Tilde had said once, “and you don’t even notice.” Tilde would be right.
- this is a roxy and eggsy friendship centric fic that i abandoned bc i lost my ardor for this world about the same time i got into xmen lmfjgjg. all the king’s horses also had some great fancasts in it with dev patel fancasted too... rip ig
14.
once again, nsfw
Eggsy, truth be told, doesn’t actually like having sex in bathrooms. First of all, bathrooms generally have an unsanitary air about them. Besides that, the granite of the sinks always feel cold against his hips, there is the ever present fear of being walked in on and unlike what people might say, he actually really isn’t that much of an exhibitionist- and truth be told, he’s never liked the look of himself in the mirror mid coitus.
For David Budd, however, he suspects he might be up for anything.
- from do you ever dream of me. im actually proud of this fic and this series, i never usually write straight up porn or friends w benefits and i think it worked well in here. once again didnt get much traction but that was very of the norm for my kingsman fics lmfjgj
15.
It is on his fifth meeting with the therapist on site that she brings the issue up. The elephant in the room- or the bomb , David thinks morbidly. If asked, he can’t remember specifics about that day now. All he remembers is this- the burn of Julia’s picture in his wallet against his thigh, the Botticelli painting on the far wall and Miss Paulson’s face, severe and unsmiling.
“When you couldn’t reach Julia,” she says, after he finishes describing the feeling of running to Julia, the panic searing his chest as he’d prayed for his legs to work faster so he could do something, anything to reach her hand. “How did that make you feel?”
- from your haunted social scene. i genuinely... do not remember anything about this either helpfkjgjg,,, this has 55 comments tho which. Nice
16.
David brings her home on- in a move far too cliche for it to be reality- a stormy night.
It’s in fact storming so hard the windowpanes shudder like leaves in the wind, droplets crashing against the glass in a cacophony so loud Eggsy more than once considers turning the radio all the way up to drown it out. He’d gone scrounging for David’s sweatshirts instead of his own halfway through, wincing intermittently at the flashes of thunder. At a particularly loud one JB had jumped up, squeaked in a very undoglike manner and skidded across the floor to cower beneath the sofa, only coming out when coaxed by Eggsy to do so. Officer Oatmeal had watched the proceedings from her regal place by the armchair, dozy eyed and blinking heavily.
- from a cat named lavender. from what i remember this was also my first try at bringing up trans eggsy
17.
He first appears at the black prince on a cold Monday evening, eyes like Frank Sinatra and lips arresting anyone’s gaze if they weren’t careful enough. He stood out too, clad in a respectable bomber jacket and boots that clicked against the tile rhythmically and loudly, a sort of organised, measured cacophony.
“Go and serve him,” Andrew said, fat and disinterested, seated behind the counter and idly flicking through bills, less than ten percent of which he pays Eggsy. “I’m busy.”
- from trust is left in lovers after all. i never continued this which is sad bc this did get a lot of attention... it was just v hard to keep the story going
18.
It usually rains cats and dogs in London but for some reason, the rain is heavier than usual today. The droplets splatter against the windows in a constant buzzing rhythm, the sound meshing together in a melody not altogether pleasant to the ears. It’s half past five and yet the light has to be kept on because that’s how dark the sky has gotten- thunder rolls like a loud crack, abrupt and deafening, causing Daisy to jump in her seat.
“Just a thunderstorm, flower,” Eggsy says. They’re seated at the dinner table, Eggsy going over her homework while David sits opposite them, hunched over his laptop as he attempts to finish a post mission report. Eggsy is half convinced he gave up ten minutes ago- he’s got his earbuds in and he hasn’t really typed anything in a while, eyes focused on the screen. His eyebrows are scrunched up in a glare that’s too adorable for his own good- and for Eggsy’s.
- from could feel like kryptonite. a lot of my kingsman fics are actually so much happier than my cherik ones... i should prob look into that rip
19.
“When you’re done lazing around you can come in, you dozy dog,” he tells Officer Oatmeal, who butts her nose into his knee. She’s the only one not on a diet in the house, Eggsy deeming her far too healthy and skinny to need one anyway. In fact, she’s under strict instructions by Eggsy to fatten up instead.
Once the animals are done feeding- Eggsy sporting a suspicious scratch on his left forearm- they settle down to eat their scrambled eggs and toast. David’s taken a large gulp of his scalding coffee when Eggsy says, all of a sudden, “So, I have a school reunion.”
- from gonna set this dance alight. don’t remember much about this either tbh
20. (the last one FINALLY)
It isn’t a big event or explosion that makes David realise he wants to see his father’s ring sitting pretty on Eggsy’s index finger. No teary confessions in the rain like in the rom coms Eggsy loves to rent out and sniffle his way through, or a fight that makes David see sense. In the end, it’s breakfast that cinches the deal for him.
The day had started out normally enough. David wakes up at eight like clockwork, the soft downy hair at the base of Eggsy’s neck tickling his nose with his arm locked tight around his waist. He’d yawned, exhausted- mostly because they’d stayed up very late into the night making good use of the bed- before standing up and shucking his shirt off to head for the shower. Eggsy had shifted in his sleep, mumbling something unintelligible, and the sight had been too endearing to resist so he’d bent down, pressing a kiss to his forehead and smiling when Eggsy groaned out loud.
- from lover boy rules. i actually started a lot of my kingsman fics in the same way which is rather awful of me. im glad thats changed with my xmen fics lmfjgjk. also this has 15 comments???? i dont even get that much attention with my xmcu fics these days... which is arguably a more active fandom... Hello
anyway that’s the end of it needless to say i do not know 10 other authors so im just gonna tag whoever i know rn: @hellfre , @queerneto, @ikeracity, @drinkingstars, @zebraljb
#whew this is super long i apologise#u can pinpoint the exact time i replaced taron with james as my number one boy#fic tag#fic meme
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