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demonbanger · 1 year

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𝔇𝔬𝔫’𝔱 𝔣𝔯𝔢𝔱 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 ℑ’𝔪 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 |

ft. sex demon ! 𝗘𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗦 𝗞𝗜𝗗 | 🌶 🔞 MDI

“𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙩, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡.” — E. Kid, to you

synopsis: on a lonely night you decide to get a bit buzzed and think, fuck it, why not try to summon a sex demon? Turns out to be either the biggest blessing, or biggest mistake you’ve made in a while.

♫: click for inspo song

pairing: Incubus! Kid x Fem! Reader (no physical description of reader, except hair that can be pulled)

cw: *inhales* demon summoning, bully Eustass, brat taming, blood + pain play, cunnilingus, drinking mention, predator x prey, breeding, dacryphilia, dumbification, belly bulge, overstimulation, praise + degradation, size kink af with our 6’7 king, use of pet names, insane stamina, gets softer at the end

tags: @goshitshardtohaveagoodname @nikos-a-clown @pinkcrystal-rose

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You stuff your fingers in your dribbling pussy, but just could not get yourself full enough. You felt like such a horny bastard tonight, with so much sexual desperation, and finally decided you wanted to start masturbating again. But nothing worked like when you first started; you’ve just been single for too long and miss the feeling of real cock.

Even a dildo couldn’t do the trick anymore. You needed the real thing, with pumping veins and harsh thrusts, attached to a heavy man that pressed you into the mattress, with low grunts and dirty words moaned lowly into your ear.

You sigh in frustration and set the toys down, taking a swig out of some whiskey to let it take over more of your senses. The liquor burns so beautifully going down your throat…too bad there wasn’t another hot liquid also sinking down your oral cavity.

The familiar floaty headspace seeps in like an old friend that you keep away at arm’s length, as your heartbeat drums in your warm chest. Buzzed you feels like a dragon waking from a slumber, with old runes in the form of dumb ideas filling your brain.

“Might as well fucking summon a sex demon at this point,” you mutter. The idea rolls over in your head for a few minutes, and the curiosity of trying something crazy and reckless like this gets more and more appealing to your buzzed brain, until eventually you think: Wait. Fuck it, what if I tried it at least? You laugh to yourself.

What would you have to lose anyways? Just your soul? You don’t even feel like you have one these days until you drink good old caffeine.

You tap the safari icon on your phone, to research how one would even go about summoning an incubus, and take another swig to invite the madness more.

A few forums say the same thing. People asking if you actually want to invite such a thing into your life, some dude talking about how his wife cheated on him with one of those entities and was never the same after that. Hahah…cuck.

You scoff. You have existential crises every day, no sex demon can fuck your life up like you feel you can. Demons, where you at? It’s ya boi. You think about the meme and cackle way too hard for something so unfunny and possibly life-threatening.

Then you scroll over a comment that is long with a lot of upvotes on it. It looks serious. Seems legitimate. There are no comments underneath, but it reads like a serious spell book.

Eh, why not? You laugh again. The comment warned against masturbating beforehand to make sure your sexual energy was at its peak to really invite any sexual spirits. Welp, already fucked that up, so if this doesn’t work at least you could have something fun to do and then tire yourself out and call it a night.

Then you read how it involves extracting blood from a few…sources such as the tongue and pussy and you wonder if there’s a better way. A paper cut on any of those things sounds gross. Eek.

You look over YouTube and find the first video that pops up. The speaker sounds experienced, and says that it’s much simpler than any methods. Just make a request to the demon Asmodeus by reaching a meditative state, and adamantly focusing on his name.

Simple enough. You try and make sure your room is a little tidy, burn a couple of cutesy candles, and dress in a black spiked collar and a cute, lacey red lingerie set you got yourself a little while back. Scarlet garters hold up soft thigh highs that bring out your thighs and make your lower body look extra luscious. You take in this moment of feminine confidence. What are you? You’re a bad bitch. And what are you about do? Get fucked.

You sit prettily on your bed, take another swig of the burning drink, shake your hips in excitement, close your eyes, and make the signature meditation pose. You even put the sigil of Asmodeus on your laptop to better reach him. Look at you, doing the most. Then, you bite your lip in concentration and your buzzed brain is slow enough to focus on one thing slowly.

Asmodeus. Asmodeus. Asmodeus, are you with me? You think with intention.

Just as you thought. No answer. You continue.

Asmodeus, I know I never spoke to you in my life. I’m Y/n, I know this is silly but I don’t mind giving up some of my energy to get fucked voraciously by a demon boy. An incubus please. Is that ok?

You wait for an answer, peep at the candles. They’re just flickering normally. You try not to psych yourself into micro analyzing the movement of the little flames. Drunk you could do that all night. But you need to keep focused. Then you continue.

Hopefully it is ok, Mr. Asmodeus. I don’t know if I need to give up my blood n shit. I’m just a little drunk girl and honestly I’ve given up so much life energy to toxic exes at this point, you don’t need to warn me,, I know I’m rambling, but uh, yeah. I don’t give a fuck. But also, respectfully, make sure he wants me too. That shit’s hot. Do you even hear me at this point?

A chill up your spine stops you from thinking further. It’s such a chill that you shiver. It’s the same sensation in your nerves that you’d feel if someone ran a finger along your entire sensitive spine. Your window isn’t open.

There’s no way.

Good talk, you think. Don’t know what the fuck that was.

You sigh, keeping yourself open for answers. Maybe he’s thinking? Who knows. For a second you almost feel a little silly for getting all dressed and stuff.

Then you feel a chill up your spine, only more intense. Your hairs stand on end. It’s kind of spooky. You’re drunk though so you’re in more of a relaxed, “oh no!!! anyways” sort of mindset. But none of your windows are open and you haven’t turned on the AC all day.

You take another swig out of the bottle and your face burns. You’re sure your eyes are a bit bloodshot, face flushed. You think about what a male demon would say if he saw you. Probably something like—Put the bottle down, sweetheart.

You cackle in your mind. Sorry about that, daddy, gotta have fun.

Keep calling me that, I like it, the thought says a bit louder in your mind, purring more sexily than you’ve ever imagined a man sounding. Wait, did you make that up or are you tripping?

Dumbass.

You open your eyes again. So that was your imagination…or was it? There’s a little bit of doubt in your mind. Either way your imagination is vivid and you crack yourself up.

Damn it, you play too much, now your drunk ass can’t even tell what’s someone telepathically communicating to you and what’s you imagining someone telepathically communicating to you.

You clear your throat a little.

“Oi, am I wasting my time? Am I making this up? Give me a sign or show yourself , but don’t like scare me, or else I’m just going to sleep.” You try to speak clearly and confidently.

Your head whips around to the wall at something suddenly in your peripheral, and you notice a little area starts to glow, brighter and brighter. It’s a sigil. The same one you put on your computer moments ago. It’s very slow. Your heart feels like it’s in your fucking throat as you blink extra hard. Nope, still there. Holy fuck??

You swallow, slightly nervous besides your sense of fear being dulled down.

A gasp leaves your throat at a sudden tapping noise coming straight from the sigil. A fist punches through your wall, except not actually punching through its material. The glowing sigl must be some sort of portal. You let out a shocked squeal as the fist shakes around the air of your room. The clawed hand opens and the body attached steps out.

“The fuck was that?”

Oh lord. He’s huge. And above all else, irresistibly sexy.

The demon stands before you, towering over most of your room proudly, a wild crown of red hot hair adorning his head. The candlelight flickers wildly as he looks directly at you. His handsome features complete with sharp eyes like glowing amber surrounded by darkness, almost dragon-like. Is that…lipstick? And guyliner. Another shiver runs through you at how attracted you are to this creature from hell. You must’ve made Asmodeus laugh and scored the jackpot in return. That sharp nose.. with the pretty bumps on the side…you wonder how it would feel riding it.

He’s wearing a coat trimmed with maroon fur, that still leaves little to the imagination as his entire muscular, giant torso is bare with a sheen that accentuates carved abs, perhaps sweat because hell is hot. Black pants with chains hang low on his hips. You don’t see visible wings but are sure he can make them appear if he wanted.

Just, holy shit.

Dark maroon lips smirk. His voice is raspy, a little tired, a little indifferent, but the look in his eyes says otherwise. “So…you gonna just keep staring at me all night and get off that way, or?”

You bite your lip. He’s so fucking smug. Your pussy starts pooling more wetness than already built up.

“I-well, yeah, you just appeared through my fucking wall,” you roll your eyes, not submitting so easily. “The hell did you expect?”

The demon flashes a mouth full of beautiful, dangerous teeth.

“Pretty little minx, and a smart mouth on ya too. I guess he was right it’d be worth bothering the admiral of the legions, can’t wait to fuck the brattiness out of you.”

Black, ornate trousers that appear punk and shredded to bits sway as he steps closer to your bed.

“Oh, Careful—” you warn but one of his beautiful, tall, twisty horns hits your ceiling fan, and you find it comical how a 7 foot tall demon is cursing at hitting his left horn in your room.

His eyes squint at you. “Fucking brat. Laughing at me, not even telling me your name. I could drag a rude little mortal like you to hell and eat you alive for lack of manners,” he drawls, little to no venom in his words, his voice so deep and rich you almost get lost in it for a moment. Little does he know you want him to eat you alive.

“Oh—, I mean you’re right, sorry sir,” you spit out the sorry as sarcastically as possible, “I’m Y/n, what’s your name?”

He eyes your thighs clenching together and a mocking chuckle bubbles in his chest. “Name’s Kid. But you, little thing, can call me Eustass for tonight when I’m impaling you on my cock.”

A little whimper is forced out of you at how dirtily he spoke, like he made an incantation to turn you on instantly. “Eustass,” you try out, making precum drip out of him more than he’d like to admit. Your eyes flit down to his cock that he mentioned, then back up. He knows you were staring. And he’s so damn smug about it too, because the big guy’s bulge looks absolutely huge.

He looks over at the toys on your bed and scoffs, picking up your dildo, and eyeing it snarkily. Your face burns in indignation at his wolfish, leering smirk.

“Oh princess. Might as well throw these—“ he locates your trash bin, “right here. Because I’m gonna fucking ruin them for you. And you can kiss any man’s dick goodbye.” He drops your sex toys into the trash like a mic drop.

And you’re not even mad. Your thighs shift against the fabric of your bodysuit to gain any sort of friction, so turned on from imagining what’s to come.

“Yeah? You like that? I can just smell how much that turned you on. Such a pathetic, needy, desperate slut. You in heat or something?”

You can only nod your head.

He makes his way back to the bed, walking like he has all the time in the world, and you eye him for how beautiful and dangerous he is, oozing sex appeal. He also eyes you hungrily, like a starved carnivore eyeing its new living meal. Heat from hell radiates off of him, and he smells otherworldly; almost sweet; with notes of pure musk, steel, blood, leather, sweat, and desire.

(You don’t know that the pheromones you’re releasing have a similar effect on him, but he wants to make you beg and whimper; mewl, cry, break).

You take in shaky breaths, not because those fangs could rip chunks out of you if he wanted to…well, that’s hot too.

Kid grabs your bottle of whiskey from your mattress, eyeing you with pure hunger as he gets so close to you, and sets it on the floor. “That’s gonna break if it stays on your bed.” He dips his head closer to you, inhales again to smell your arousal, and his eyes roll shut.

“A-are we gonna have a safeword? I’m not paying any hospital bills if you break my body,” you finally speak up, voice pitch heightened from horniness.

He scoffs. “How fucking adorable, such a needy stupid baby, you didn’t even think before making a contract with someone who could do whatever he wants with you no?” the redhead strokes your thigh as he sounds so mean and condescending, large clawed hand gripping your upper leg, squeezing your supple flesh. His breathing is heavy. Fiery eyes peer down into your soul as he pauses.

“Spikes.” He feels your collar, humming in approval. “But just know, you signed up to be fucked. And drained.” His blackened thumb traces over your bottom lip as he holds your chin. “If you can’t handle the heat, you should know better than to booty call hell.”

“Mhmm,” you say, nodding in his hold, tongue darting out to caress his finger. Kid snarls.

Just like that, a large palm presses on your sternum and shoves you down onto the bed. He yanks you by the hips to the edge of the mattress with a bruising grip, and bucks his clothed hips into yours sharply, trouser-covered bulge slapping your pussy roughly, eliciting a whine from your throat.

“Gonna keep your neighbors up with us all night just like this,” he growls, bucking onto you, hands tracing your hips, fingers dipping under your bodysuit to caress your soaking core.

“Wet kitty, so fucking sinful.” He pulls out his fingers, separating them and admiring how your slick strings up and drips down his hand. Then, glowing eyes gaze into yours as a long, sharp, forked tongue licks your essence up, cleaning them in one stroke. You throb. He tosses his trench coat to the floor and you admire his giant, muscular body. Thick neck you want to scratch up. Giant muscles carved of porcelain and littered with scars that you want to bite and paint even prettier. A fallen angel of vermillion, ready to stab you in the dark, drag you down in lust and weeping to your personal circle of heavenly hell.

Without another word, he dips his head down and snaps the crotch of your bodysuit open leaving you with no room to think. He flattens his large, forked tongue and licks a broad, wet stripe over your sopping cunt.

“ ‘s cunny’s mine,” he breathes, and begins his attack on you with his mouth, squeezing your thighs, large tongue teasing into you.

“Yes it’s all—, ohhhh~” He pulls out and shoves two huge fingers with painted fingernails into your entrance, stretching you out and making you arch your back from the sudden stimulation, pussy smushing into his face further. He growls again, feral in nature, the vibrations going straight to your clit as he intently watches your reactions. Wide tongue lapping at your clit, swirling, making you speak in tongues and whimper at how full you are. You do not regret summoning a demon at all.

He adds a third impossibly thick finger and scissors them in and out of you, then impatiently thrusts his tongue back in to fuck you, massaging every little nook and cranny of your textured walls. Swirling up, and up, and up until your brain rots inside your skull and you’re roughly grabbing handfuls of his hair.

You hear him groan a prideful, muffled “Good girl,” as his nose bumps into your clit so snugly. Your eyes roll back at the praise. It’s too much, all of it is too much. And yet, you need more, more, more, please, please, please. His tongue hits a tender spot that makes you jolt and begins to attack it in a full-fledged assault, causing you to snap your gaze back to him and buck your hips greedily into him.

Greedy. He likes that. He likes how greedy your cunt is, because he’s just as greedy for you. Your thighs clench around his head when he shakes his face, soaked in your juices, side to side to rub your clit with his nose pressed tightly to you. “E-Eustass!” you call out for him, all strangled, and a purr rumbles in his thick chest.

In response, he only clenches your thighs tighter around his face, continuing to torture you with his pink tongue that’s long and mobile like a fucking tentacle.

You cry out as talonesque nails dig into your thighs and little pricks of blood come out, but he doesn’t care. And neither do you. You grind on him, head swimming in lust, probably only worsening the pinprick wounds. He leans back with you and completely sits down on the floor beneath, holding the entire weight of your body on top of his face with the strength of a powerful war demon.

He slides you up and down, and you tremble, spots of white flecking your vision as you ride his face, smearing your never ending slick to his insatiable delight.

His amber eyes glare at you, urging you to let go and come undone on top of him. Yet mocking you for needing to cum so soon.

And that’s what you do, shaking violently, curling over him, death grip on his scarlet tresses, as he groans at how delicious you taste. The orgasm washes over you so hard you almost fall slack, almost, as your moans fall silent from your circuits sparking. He drinks up all the essence you have to offer, lips smacking at how delicious you are, deep “Mmmhfuck” causing your nipples to perk.

He stands back up and sets you back down on the bed, unzipping his pants.

You’re lightheaded from the most amazing orgasm of your entire life, gazing at the ceiling as static fills your brain in ocean waves of dumbified pleasure.

Then your mouth gapes open at the sight in front of you. Beautifully red pubes trail right over his giant hand, fisting the biggest cock you’ve seen.

“Ngh, t-too big,” you whimper.

“Oh, I’m shocked you can speak,” he laughs darkly.

“Barely,” you try to prop yourself up on your elbows, but it’s so difficult and you fall back down.

He laughs at you, humiliating you in his stare. “Such a weak kitten,” the demon mocks you in faux sympathy.

You feel as though you nutting just now made you so insanely tired.

“Just lay back, dollface, you’re giving daddy life energy as a snack. Gonna make you even prettier, so dumb you can’t even speak.”

Before you can protest, he’s spearing you with his cockhead, ripping a loud moan from your throat.

He’s merciless, as no god has shown him, a fallen angel, any mercy. So why should he, an incubus leeching off of your sexual energy, show any mercy to a cunt that’s all his and swallows him in just right.

He continues to sink into you, and your nails pay him back by digging into him now, in his meaty forearms.

Kid’s tongue darts out over his crimson lips.

“Keep,” he thrusts out slightly, admiring the way you grip him, “fucking,” he thrusts back in all the way, making you shriek, “taking it.” The pain is so much, too much, the stretch fucking burns at how large of a cock is intruding you, but he hammers into you without regards to your comfort or pleasure. He’s the one using you, fucking you like you’re his breathing flesh light, like you’re the one working for him though he’s the escort demon. Ramming in, threatening to fuck right into your cervix, overload. You’re clamping down, your walls are rejecting him. It makes him curse loudly at how hard it is for him to move, but he’s stronger than a mere human, so ever the sadist, Kid pumps in regardless.

The pain of his unrelenting, selfish thrusts starts to turn slowly into pleasure, and the fullness and overwhelming stretch feels delicious. Your mind turns dumb and you start to whine.

“M-more,” you moan, and he grabs your tit harshly, twisting your nipple painfully, making tears rush to your eyes. He does so to the other tit, then slaps them roughly. You whimper his name, back arching like an exorcism in progress. Except exiting you, this demon is not.

“Yeah? You need some more, you selfish brat?” He growls, pace deepening and quickening. “Don’t you worry, I’m not going anywhere, not until the sun is up.” His hips snap against yours, and his nails rake down your body to fold your thighs against your chest, his crushing weight pinning you to the bed. Your mattress hitting the wall. You struggle to catch the breath that’s knocked out of you in this position.

“Fucking look at me,” he suddenly jibes, and you obediently make eye contact with him. “Now don’t you dare fucking look away or quiet those pretty noises. I want to make you scream.”

He’s going at an inhuman speed, and so fucking deep in this mating press, and hits the spot that made you cum before. His balls slapping against your ass, making you scream.

“Eustass! Eustass! Please, please, please, yes, Nnnn! Please!” You beg him to keep going, as he growls, “fuck yes, beg, princess, beg for this fucking cock,” his thrusts getting sloppier as your cunt tightens around him. Your eyes roll back a little, as he’s fucking you dumb.

“Ah!!!” You yelp, as he roughly slaps your ass.

“What did I fucking tell you?” Eustass snarls, and you bite your lip, face flushed as he glowers at you.

“T-to, to uh, look at you,” you say dumbly, gasping for air.

“That’s a smart girl,” he rubs your clit, making you squirm, and he condescendingly coos down at you, “so why don’t you look at me as I wreck you, hmm?”

His body is so big, so hot, he’s so heavy and wide as your poor legs stretch to accommodate his wide shoulders while he opens you like a flower and pounds into you. He smells so fucking good, you think, and you want him to cum inside of you and claim you as his, and you struggle but do your best to keep looking into his wild eyes. He’s absolutely feral, so intimidating, and your body rocks at his severity so you grasp the base of his horns. A little moan leaves him, and if he wasn’t pressed up so close to you, flooding up all of your thoughts and walls and senses, it would have gone undetected.

A darkness takes over his eyes. “Now you’ve fucking done it,” his voice drops ever lower, and he pulls out. Flips you over onto your hands and knees, pulls your hips to face the ceiling, and bottoms back in in one thrust. The new angle has you screaming and moaning his name, “EU—fuck!!!!” You whimper loudly, and he pushes your head down into the covers.

“Yeah—this pussy—is all—fucking mine—you hear that?” he rumbles in between thrusts, slapping your ass again as he arches your back impossibly, balls slapping your cunt. You’re too dumb to understand what he’s saying and he knows that. Your slick is everywhere between the two of you and it’s making him absolutely drunk and feral.

You’re unable to speak real words, you’re babbling and you claw the sheets as he batters your insides over and over like a battering ram. Tears and drool are soaking the covers beneath you, as you moan while you let him use you. He kneads and slaps your ass again. “Look at me.” He reminds you harshly.

You weakly turn your head to look back at him, blubbering, and his pointy, evil grin sends a jolt straight to your core again.

“You’re my fucking pet, and any man you let have this,” he makes a slicing movement with his finger over his throat. “Got it?”

You’re so gorgeous, hair plastered to your forehead and all wild, face flushed and teary, eyelashes fluttering up at him, gasping, as you whimper, “y-yes, Eustass, I belong to you,” and his deep thrusts slow luxuriously.

“Good girl,” he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you up until your back meets his sweaty inferno of a chest. He rubs more circles on your puffy, abused clit and you squirm from the buzzing overstimulation of another impending orgasm. He eats up how you clench around him, and as your head spins dizzily from him still thrusting up into you deeply, he sinks his teeth into your right shoulder, claiming you.

You cry out weakly from the pain, and spasm around him like a voodoo victim and he lazily fucks you through your second orgasm, enjoying how you make a mess all over his hand.

“Oh, that’s so sexy,” he groans, lapping at the blood on your shoulder, as you squirt all over his arm, and his cock is absolutely drenched, dripping down to his balls. He moans and with a few more thrusts, stills. He fills you up with hot cum.

The giant incubus turns you both around, you still out of breath, dumb, on his cock. “Look here.” He says, like Virgil from Dante’s Inferno showing the writer the lustful circle of hell.

You peer at your reflection in the mirror. You, so fucked out, almost unrecognizable, crying, glowing, lips plump from biting them. A huge bite mark on your shoulder. Bruised hips. Both of you scratched up with a little bit of blood. Legs shaking as you’re sitting pretty on his cock, a bulge evident in your tummy. His huge hands encircling you, him, possessively overshadowing you. He’s so much bigger than you, his width eclipsing you in the reflection.

You lean your head back tiredly. He whispers lowly into your ear. “ ‘M only just getting started with you, but look at how pretty you are as my pet, yeah? This is what I’m gonna see every single night, aren’t you excited?”

You tiredly turn your head to smoosh into his pillowy chest, his smell overpowering your senses, and you look up to him. “This is all I need,” you whisper back.

He sets you down on wobbly legs and holds you up a little. He cups your jaw in his giant hand, and the white of his canines shines. His lipstick is slightly smeared. He looks gorgeous, sinister, a glowing star of red, black, amber, and pale skin.

Then he kisses you, in a way that’s startlingly soft and passionate, in his ferocious way because Eustass is, well, Eustass. He pulls away, eyes glittering darkly.

“That’s the right response, darling.”

———————————————————————-

TO BE CONTINUED 🏴‍☠️ -> part 2!

#[✏️] speaking in tongues #demon papí draws #eustass kid smut #eustass kid x fem reader #eustass kid x reader #one piece x female reader #one piece smut #op smut #zoro smut #sanji smut #law smut #ace smut #Luffy smut

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joachimnapoleon · 5 months

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My Napoleon Review

I really wanted to like this movie. When it was first announced, I was one of the people in our little community here with a hopefully-optimistic, wait-and-see approach. I wanted to love it the same way I loved Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven and other historical epics that, despite not being historically accurate, still managed to hook me with good storytelling, excellent casts, and memorable battle scenes and imagery. Ridley Scott's Napoleon has none of the above.

You know what I liked about it? The uniforms. The uniforms looked magnificent and were probably the most accurate aspect of the movie. Almost like Scott had help from historians, but that can't be the case, because Scott says he didn't actually need historians to make Napoleon.

What I was not expecting from this movie was to be bored. Yet that's what I was, for at least the first hour and a half. I'm honestly just perplexed by this even now. I don't know how it's actually possible to make the life of Napoleon Bonaparte so thoroughly uninspiring and dull, but Scott managed to pull it off.

To be fair, he was aided in this superhuman effort by Joaquin Phoenix. I never in my wildest dreams could've seen him doing such a poor job with his interpretation of Napoleon. But honestly, the fact that he's too old for the role actually ended up being the least of what I disliked about this performance, which was basically everything. The early reports coming out when the movie was still being produced about Phoenix putting a lot of effort into understanding Napoleon's psychology gave me what turned out to be a completely misguided hope. When you read descriptions of Napoleon from his contemporaries, you see an energetic, charismatic, vibrant being who exerted an almost inexplicable magnetism that drew people to him and inspired devotion and admiration, even among his critics. There is nothing even remotely inspiring, energetic, charismatic, or vibrant about Phoenix's grim, dour, monotoned Napoleon. He only ceases being grim and dour to become a clown, or to indicate to Josephine in some undignified manner that he is once again in need of sex (at one point he actually oinks repeatedly). In one scene he literally crawls under the dining room table towards her on all fours, while the embarrassed valets watch.

The relationship between Napoleon and Josephine is totally devoid of chemistry. Kirby's acting was fine, but she was given a trash script to work with. At one of their early meetings, Josephine flat-out spreads her legs in front of Napoleon, invites him to look down, and declares that once he sees what's down there, he'll never stop wanting it. It was the cringiest scene imaginable, and frankly an insult to the real Josephine's memory, as were the pathetic sex scenes. The scene of the official divorce is stripped of any dignity by Scott, who decided to have Josephine randomly chuckle at various points while reading her statement, and then made it even worse by having Napoleon actually slap her across the face.

Even the battle scenes were a joke for the most part, and that was the one area where I was certain this movie would shine. It's the usual fare of Side A charges across an open field at Side B, with no discernible tactics whatsoever. Napoleon yells "Send in the infantry!" Shortly after that, "Send in the cavalry!" Corps, regiments etc are just nonexistent; the armies are just big masses hurtling towards each other while the artillery blasts continuously. The Borodino battle scene lasts maybe two minutes and was just disappointing on every level, like damn near everything else in this movie.

Oh, remember that bit from one of the trailers of Napoleon charging headlong, saber drawn? That actually occurs during the Borodino scene. The battle during which real-life Napoleon was uncharacteristically lethargic (and possibly ill) and barely left his tent. And then to top it off, Scott also has Napoleon ride into the fray during the Waterloo scene, and start cutting English soldiers down with his saber like Mel Gibson's William Wallace in Braveheart. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

The guy they cast to play Wellington appeared to be at least 60 years old. Christopher Plummer he was not. I'm actually planning to watch Waterloo sometime this weekend as a pallet-cleanser.

I imagine the eventual four hour director's cut Scott has spoken of will flesh the narrative out more, but I'm not even sure I'm interested in seeing it after this. I can only hope the rumored Spielberg HBO series on Napoleon will transpire and put in the effort that Scott was not willing to.

Well, the good news is that Rod Steiger is no longer my least favorite Napoleon.

#Napoleon #Napoleon Bonaparte #Ridley Scott #movies

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accio-victuuri · 5 months

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ONE NIGHT IN BEIJING & other sweets 🌃

when i first saw this song being discussed earlier, i was confused cause i don’t know what’s happening. lol. what’s with the song. i cannot trace where the screenshot is from but it says one of WYB’s favorite song is this, one night in beijing.

then a fan commented that XZ sang this in our song before ( not main performance ) and someone found a recording. did he discover the song because of that? was it on zz’s playlist at some point in the past and became his fave?

the song itself tho. very 👀👀👀

Don’t wish to ask where you have been

Don’t wish to wonder if you are ever returning

I’m thinking of your heart, I’m thinking of your face

I’m thinking of your embrace – I won’t let go, I just won’t

that’s just the first few lines and i’m here nodding my head that this fits his style of bittersweet song.

but this not even the interesting part….

Fans are thinking about how this relates to what’s been happening in the past few ways. The way we have speculated about 11/19 and WYB acting as the mystery driver again. Then him sharing a post on his weibo. One night in Beijing? Does he love that particular title cause it sometimes describes their meetings? They are often busy and one night is all they can get.

People are also pointing out the change in ZZ’s work schedule today. His LOCH sched starts early and ends in the evening or very late but the 5:30-6:00 AM call time for him is almost fixed. Yesterday, 11/22, WYB posts and we think they are together. What happens today? ZZ comes in “late” to work at 11:30 AM. So why the change? Was he spending time with Bobo? This reminds me of that time he was out of his schedule too when Bobo was sick.

A common argument from haters is how is a relationship between them possible. They are busy! Well.. this is how. since 2020, they have been meeting (allegedly) and even going to each other’s workplace ( allegedly lol repeating this to be safe ) It doesn’t matter how long, they make it work. You will always find time for the important people in your life.

Next, let’s move on to XZS post. On a Thursday. Also it perfectly coincides with their WB account reaching 10 million followers. The photos shared are behind the scenes content from ad shoots but the contrast of the photos stands out. Day & Night. The kadian they use, 14:23 loving zhan forever. Which goes to show that they do use it!

The caption gives us more insight on the choice of photos. Sun & Moon. Another symbolism that is popular with CPFs Sun/Sunshine & Moon.

“It is the perfect moment, just like when the gentle light meets the rising moon.”

I think the english translation doesn’t give that much deeper meaning that we clowns love. so we gotta take it to the next level 🙃🙃🙃

"Fuguang" and "Wangshu" are both important elements in Chinese culture. "Fuguang" comes from the works of Song poets in the Southern Dynasties, which means sunlight or sunlight."Wangshu" is a god in Chinese mythology and legend, representing the moon and can be used to describe moonlight'. The two can be combined to show that lovers support each other and move towards a bright future together.

This caption aligns to WYB posting a photo yesterday that shows the 🌙. So does this mean WYB is the Moon & ZZ is the Sun/light? I have to say that it fits with their personality ( tho Bobo is warm and ZZ has his moments of being cold too but you know what I mean, for symbolic purposes only ok. ) I am loving this imagery between them! I hope we can have more reference in the future.

I’m cackling at this tho. The progression of posts, WYB’s caption was a reminder that it’s getting colder > YBO reposts and says to wear warmer clothes > XZS posts and GG is wearing a cozy sweater 😂 As if saying that yep, he has worn warmer clothes. LOL.

and xzs and ybo are at it again, the photo ybo shared yesterday was showing wyb’s back and xzs shared something similar today as the last photo in the grid. i’m sure they have lots of photos that show his face or close ups of his body like his hand but they had to choose this as the finale.

i mean thank you, this will make it easier for us to edit them together 😂😂😂

Bonus, the “light” photos appear to form an 8 = bo. (p1) is a himalaya episode about the 8 of diamonds card forming an 8. What a coincidence!

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #my god the past days are so sweeeeet so much candies!!!!!!

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k-dokja · 2 years

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summary: cheer up malleus... you're just socially inept, you're still rich and powerful!

settings: established relationship + reader is married to malleus + arranged marriage, but they're intimate

author’s note: i love clowning malleus 🥴 also briefly i forgot the name of their house and kept thinking briar draconis for some reasons.

malleus was... whistling when you passed him earlier.

it is decidedly unnerving for you to see the young prince in a good mood, even if you knew the origin of his pleasant disposition. and like how his happiness does not go unnoticed by everyone, someone notices your apprehension.

"i hope you don't mind me intruding. you've been out of the spot lately, i just wanted to come and see if something's the matter."

it's lilia who approaches you while you're stuck doing paperwork at your personal office. with malleus' eventual enrolment to the college, much of his duty is taken up by you. the increased pile of work is a nice distraction from your feeling about the entire ordeal.

not that it's enough to fool the eyes of the wise one.

"ah, vanrouge," you keep your face perfectly neutral at his arrival, "i just thought about calling for you, have a seat."

lilia wears an indulgent smile befit for a parent. as you put aside the documents, he makes himself comfortable on the chair in front of your desk. "i assume this has something to do with our mutual source of concern? his highness would argue that he is not a child for us to fret so much over."

drearily, you smile back, "even if would that be the case, malleus has never gotten a good record when dealing with the common people." you pinch the bridge of your nose and push away the memory of the last excursion to the town.

it has been decent until his true identity slipped. the masses take all but a second to scurry away from him or cower in fear. controlling the damage afterwards has been a pain in your back on top of the lengthy lecture his grandmother gave the two of you.

never again. you can handle pouting malleus, but the queen of briar valley is springy for her age and she can talk for hours about his safety, not to mention her scolding you. back then, you were meant to be the responsible one and not led him into potential danger. with your experience combined with his raw magic, you'd argue that both of you were never been in a rough spot.

however, you also forgot your position as the princess consort of the briar valley. his well-being should've been the priority of concern, you were beside yourself that time. not this, however, you were going to play the dutiful one like you were tasked to be.

"based on past experience, i have concerns that he will continue to be disappointed. in an environment of young, even if educated, boys, they are too young and impressionable to deal with someone of malleus' strength and status. from what we've learned, there are other royal children and nobles enrolling... but none of them has interacted with malleus in recent years, if at all."

"mhm, this has been worrying you, hasn't it?" lilia nods thoughtfully. "here i thought you were strangely supportive when malleus brought this up."

"i am not against the idea. it will do well for our future monarch to be in touch with the common people," you correct. "however, as it stands, i do not want this experience to upset him. if this turned foul, he might be more alienated from the children of men and our common people than he ever was."

lilia casts a side-long look at the painting of your wedding day. it perches on the wall left where you sit, framed by black wood and golden ornament. the picture moves at times, but both of you know it has no life. the imagery painted carries a fragment of memories from that day, when you and malleus were wedded. the two of you take the centre of the painting, surrounded by your family and closest friends.

lilia included.

a strange smile curves lilia's lips, "that's what i will be there for, you have nothing to worry about with me there. have i ever disappointed you, your highness?"

you want to bring up the weird murder of crows which incant dead languages that he brought to your wedding day. but outside of his moment of eccentricities, lilia is, by far, the most trustworthy and reliable man you can count on.

you sigh, resigned to the situation, "let's hope it won't come to the need for your intervention."

yes, all it boils down to now is hope.

malleus keeps correspondence with you during his time at the college.

in the first week, he was enthusiastic and hopeful. he notified you of his success in overthrowing the previous housewarden of diasomnia. you wrote back with congratulation. inside, however, you had thought that if he lost then there be not enough damage control for the media coverage of that royal embarrassment.

the messages got less enthusiastic as time goes by. his hope dwindles more and more by the time his first month is completed. however, you encouraged him to stay vigilant. children of men are flexible, they will adapt to him at one point.

then comes the second month and the same pattern of the last repeats.

you cannot help but worry more, even if malleus stays hopeful during his message with you. although your responsibility keeps you occupied, you try to uplift malleus whenever you can. however, even with the positivity from him, you cannot help the feeling that something is amiss.

(you, later on, learned that his name was leona kingscholar, another foreign prince)

the visit has been an impromptu one, notified to only concerned parties: lilia and crowley. both of which are out of necessities instead of want. you don't want to alarm either of the old men about the sudden appearance of a foreign and powerful magical source.

but outside of that, your decision to check in has been a secret even to malleus.

no sooner than after you step into the hall of mirrors, you're greeted by an oppressive atmosphere native to the college ground. before, when you tread the campus to assert its suitability for malleus, you've sniffed this out from the age-old architect of the buildings.

however, here, without a patron guiding your way, it has become even more prominent. the spirits which dwell here do not react kindly to strangers, even if they are allowed ones.

you push away the thought and hasten your steps towards the diasomnia mirror. never mind the spirits of this place, you prefer to go in and out without another student spotting you. it'd have been weird trying to explain the situation when you only want to deal with a family issue.

the mirror turns into a cool liquid on your skin when you thrust your hand through it. however, your plan never gets the chance to fall into place.

"going somewhere?"

you recoil in surprise. but upon seeing the asker, you heave out a sigh, hands propped on your hip. "malleus," you say, "it's not nice to surprise your elders."

he smiles. it's awkward and unpracticed. you have a feeling he hasn't done that for a while. then, it vanishes as fast as it comes, "you should've told me you were coming. i would've prepared to greet you."

"i'm only here for a couple of minutes," you sigh, "i've come to meet you, actually."

"oh?"

you nod and wear a pleasant smile. yours is practised and natural. no one can even suspect a thing. "i've missed you," you say readily, "lilia said it's not wise for married couples to be away from each other for far too long."

malleus looks vaguely amused, "there is only a month left until the break, but if that's the reason you've given, then i will believe it. just this time."

he narrows his eyes at you. but you keep your smile, perfect and innocent. in the end, he relents before you, "come with me, we shouldn't be seen here."

once you stepped up within arm's reach, malleus takes hold of your waist and pulls you closer to him. the brush of his magic on your skin is electrifying. a jolt shoots down your spine, more a pleasant buzz than a numbing shock.

by the time it's gone, the two of you are somewhere else entirely. a secluded corner in a garden, where life springs forth even on night raven's cursed ground. malleus lets go of you upon arrival, giving you the chance to take in the scenery.

"i like this area of the garden," he muses, "it's serene and beautiful, almost untouched by the ravage of men. the flowers bloom brighter and stronger here. i come here whenever i miss you."

"it's gorgeous, malleus, but wouldn't your bedchamber be more prudent for privacy?" you question matter-of-factly.

however, malleus answers with a sly smile, "do you think your visit can be 'a couple of minutes' if we went to my bedroom?"

"malleus," you cross your arms, "do you plan on scandalizing your entire dorm? you know we are not subtle without the wards blocking the residual energy."

he only shrugs, "the warding can be prepared for next time. for magic, noises, and any subsequent tremors. if you have any concerns about the students, i will ask for lilia's assistance with evacuating the dorm beforehand. he will understand if it's for the purpose of continuing the draconia line."

"it's improper to talk of this on the campus ground," you say, "it's a place for education, we shouldn't sully it with carnal matters. besides, you're committing to your education. we can save the heir-making for when you graduated."

"i can always leave if anything ought to happen," then, he adds with a morose note, "i do not have anything to hold me back from leaving this place, in any case."

your eyes widen. even if it's expected of him, you never expect it to affect him so. "i thought you were hopeful about this?"

"i was," he says shortly, glaring at the ground like he wants to burn a hole into it, "but i've interacted with enough children of men here to know nothing will change. yes, it might be a different environment with different people, but they continue to cower in front of me. some even flee at the mention of my name, it does make me wonder what have i done to instil in them with such fervour."

"oh, malleus," you step up to him. his shoulder stops tensing upon your close proximity, but he stays petulant, "it is their nature to fear the unknown. briar valley is secretive about its magic and people, they're simply afraid because they've not gotten the chance to familiarize themselves with you properly. i reckon most of them have never seen fae in their lives."

you cup his face and draw his gaze to your eyes. he softens, only a little, but remains silent. so, you continue, "i'm sure they'd react the same if i was in your position," you reassure, "give it at least a semester or even a year, and they'll go easy to your presence. children of men are adaptable, they will come to see you for who you are, not who you represent."

this time around, he smiles when you smile. but it fades when he sighs, "i suppose i should be more patient and realistic. even if my goal for socialization fails, at least, i will gain some experience as a normal student in a college."

there are at least several factors which make him an abnormal student, you'd argue: his age, his origin, his existing education, and his guardian. but that's neither here nor there. "that's better," you lean up to him, then kiss him on the chin, "you're the scion of the draconia, there's nothing you can't do."

"i'd say there are a few things," he wryly adds, "making friends, for example, but i'll try to live up to your expectation."

you nod, pleased with the outcome of your little intervention. that does not go unnoticed by malleus, "so, did you come here simply because of your fear of my ineptitude or was there something else?"

"what? noooo," you let out a forced laugh, "i missed you, remember? but i might have a teeny itty bitty little thing i need to discuss with lilia before leaving."

"so it's not just me but lilia you're also missing then," malleus teases, "let us go find him before your couple of minutes run out. his usual dwelling is only a short distance from here."

he takes your hand into his hand, fingers threaded with each other, "let us walk, i want to be with you longer."

the two of you continue with quiet chatter while you traverse the halls of the school's academic building. if not for his perceived frightening reputation, you reckon malleus would've garnered a lot of fans and friends alike. once his outer shield is down, he's sweet and charming.

his care for you shines through even in the simple touches, has it not for his natural affection, you don't think your relationship would've gotten this close.

however, your little bubble is burst when you round a corner without checking. you're discovered before malleus, who steps back in time, but not enough to prevent your exposure. two students stumble upon you, their eyes widening in surprise.

"you—"

"she's—"

"oh great sevens—"

they mutter among themselves, stunted to see you. when malleus ventures towards revealing his own presence, you raise a hand to stop him. you want to make an example and demonstrate the point of your earlier discussion. these children of men are simply shocked by a foreign figure, they're not malicious.

"you must be..." the first one stutters, his lips trembling when he talks, "p-princess consort of briar valley—"

your name, coming from him, sounds different. it's breathed out with an air of reverence that surprised you. both of them bow deeply at in front of you, it takes a second before you reply, "ah right, at ease. who might you two be?"

they both spring up and continue to admire you with reverence. "o-oh! we never thought we'd get to see you here!" the other one gushes. "we had dreamed when we learned that crown prince malleus would be here but to see you in person...!"

ah.

"oh... i did not expect the common people to know of me this far from our homeland," you say, "this is unexpected."

the first one continues, fervent adoration filling his eyes, "you've amassed a big following on magicam, your highness...! i, myself, run a fan account of you, it has gotten over t-two millions followers!"

"y-yes! you've inspired me to take up my historical study more seriously. i've decided to pursue a history major after reading about your accomplishments...!"

they continue to gush about you, mixing between future aspirations and media influences. after a while, their words confuse you, but you continue to wear a genial, understanding smile. that does not last for long. seemingly has his patience worn out, malleus is no longer content with standing there waiting.

he steps out from the shadows, lime-green eyes regally staring down at the two students. immediately at his appearance, the two snap taut with tension. gone were the previous affection they poured towards you, their eyes are now filled with an unspoken fear.

before you can even speak up to mitigate the tension, malleus speaks up, "i see my wife has taken up quite the intense admirers. how nice." the statement is factual, devoid of any emotion. yet, it is enough to spring the students into action.

"w-we didn't know you were here, your highness...!"

"we're deeply sorry!"

malleus tilts his head, "ah, but you haven't done something worth apologizing. there is no reason to fret, unless...?"

immediately, your admirers spring into action and run in the opposite direction, "we're sorry, your highnesses!" they yell as they escape. "we didn't mean to!"

their retreat is so sudden that you're left agape while malleus remains confused. after they disappeared completely from sight, malleus turns to you, frowning. "do you see what i meant? it is not a problem with fae, it is a problem with me."

"ah, but that was simply an anomaly," you pat him amicably on the arm, "the next one will be different, you'll see."

turns out your reassurance falls flat on the ground and gets trampled over. the next few "experiment" the two of you conducted with the students repeats the original encounter. if not them gushing over you, then the student either fawns or hits on you of some variety. by the fourth flock of students that you come across, malleus is visibly displeased and fuming.

you suspect it only has a little to do with how the last one kisses your hand for far too long.

"uhm."

"we'll never speak of this again."

"agreed."

so much for coming over to cheer him up.

#malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #fics

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gameshow-host-wally · 4 months

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Hello to you all!

You must be a fan of the show! You want to talk to our charming show host?

Well now you can! Don't be afraid.

TW for this whole blog: Lore, Angst, Scary imagery, Body & Face distortion, Blood, Character hurt/death, there might be more but that's all I remember. But yeah, THIS AU IS DARK

AU Explanation, Rules, and other stuff are down here PLEASE READ THEM :D

AU Explanation:

Wally Darling is trapped working for Home by being the host of a deadly gameshow that focuses on the lives of the contestant

How does the show work?

Wally and Home picks a contestant and offers them to risk their life for the prize to win almost anything they want and seals it with the contract. They are aware they can potentially die.

Every episode it may have different kinds of challenges but the important goal is that they will be asked questions about their lives and they need to answer honestly. One wrong answer leads to death. It's pretty easy, just don't lie to Wally! Wait, how did he know this much about you? What are you hiding? Why are you hiding?

Things to know

Not every ask will be drawn

There will be lore

I said it in the tw, I'll say it again, this is a dark AU that has murder, horror imagery, etc.

NO NSFW

No Weird and Innapropriate asks. You may ask Wally about his thoughts on love. But do not harass him.

No bullying, hate, proshippers, offensive, egc. asks. If you're someone problematic, dni please. Wally and Home may have killed people BUT THEY ARE NOT MONSTERS

Please don't pressure me since I'm always busy irl

Do not use this ask blog as a way to vent or cope. Please get some help from someone who can ^^

This is still Wally Darling in the end, so please also follow Clown's boundaries for this AU

If your asks aren't answered and you didn't break any of the boundaries,

then they may be secrets I don't want to reveal yet

it's answered before

I might be working on it but it's taking me a long time to draw it

or I do not have an answer or I didn't know how to respond. (This happens a lot more than I want to :'D)

So no worries if I did not answer your asks :DDD

Here's other drawings (I don't have a proper reference of him yet)

his color references :DDD

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classpectpokerap · 1 month

Note

Give meq tgat fefat <> roxy stuffff please

alright bear with me for a second i gotta paint a word picture

imagine youre roxy lalonde, right.

you just entered the game. youve got a bottle of momslime. your modus was literally built to hold ectobiologized goo. youve been feeling the weight of destiny on your shoulders -- YOU ARE GOING TO MEET HER. she might be dead but you are going to meet her.

and you get to your sprite,

and theres just

a fucking

CLOWN

and two corpses that he throws into the kernel.

(the first homestuck fic i ever read, Conference Call, has a version of the erisolsprite prototyping. they fought gamzee and got their fuckin asses kicked. its great.)

and then youre left with just. Some Alien Bitch. and its like the universe is teasing you, because she's partially the DIRECT DESCENDANT of the fishwitch what killed your mom, and also a cat???? you are so sick to death of cats. you have been up to your fucking ass in cats. its just too much

and then she just. talks to you

and you slowly start to listen

you hear about her lives on alternia. what it was like being a princess, what it was like being the pauper. how they weren't even really friends, before -- they ran in different circles.

but they're one person, now. one person dedicated to *helping you.*

we never find out how roxy quit drinking, or who helped her through it

(it was fefeta)

and fefeta *loves* you. she listens to you talk about boys. you talk about your mom. fefeta never really spoke to her... but her nepeta half *knows what happened to your kitty frigglish* after he died. and frigglish said that your mom was okay.

that everything was going to be okay

and it's just. jane had her shit. jake was up in his shit. dirk had fucked off with his shit. and roxy really only had fefeta!!!!!!!!

and i think they were moirails and i think they loved each other so much. frankly. tbf.

roxy is a trans woman, fefeta is newly plural. they have a lot in common. tbqh. its like. its very beautiful. in my eyes. in my vision.

and then

she dies

and this is like. this is a really big fucking deal honestly?

fefeta's death is like. a huge thing. its one of the only things she tells john about when summarizing the entirety of her session.

and this isnt something she magically gets back in the post-retcon timeline, either

like... when fefeta dies, there isnt a post-retcon fefeta. (we'll GET TO YOU JASPROSE.) it's just roxy who remembers fefeta's existence at all -- her friends dont have any connection to her. *nobody alive in all of reality* remembers her.

fefeta isnt just dead, dude, shes Fucking GONE. shes the goner ever. shes fuckin erased.

but honestly

on a level? good for her.

we've seen what being in homestuck does to people. it warps them, reshapes them. (see the new hsbc upd8 for some cool imagery about it.) fefetasprite was never a real part of the story. she got away with being silent -- her words are hidden from us. she was never in LE's clutches.

and why would LE even want to clutch her

she's the sword that's going to kill him, after all

i call fefetasprite the "cat fish witch" for a very important reason. a) its cute BUT B). if you look at caledfwlch, dave's sword, and just sorta. squint at the word. it looks like cat fish witch. that's fefeta. she Iss the cat fish witch.

so what does her death mean?

well it's not like dave used an UNBROKEN sword to fight LE.

feferi is the part of the sword still left in the stone. the part we forgot and left behind.

which leaves Nepeta, the other half of this broken sword, of the Cat Fish Witch

to kill the shit out of Lord English. B33

the sword was always going to kill him!!!!!!!! fefetasprite was the sword!!!!!!!!!!! NEPETA WAS ALWAYS FATED TO DEFEAT LORD ENGLISH!!!! AM I CLINICALLY INSANE? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. all this to say.

i wrote a fic about this.

check out the second work in the series for roxy processing the emotions that none of her post-retcon friends remember her moirail. it's some good stuff i think!!!!!!! also hal is there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway jasprose is just roxy's initial dream of reviving her mom in her kernelsprite brought to life through the most roundabout and indirect and stupid way possible. send POST

#hs meta #homestuck #homestuck fanfic #etch asks #fefetasprite #feferi peixes #davepetasprite^2 #nepeta leijon #my fanfic #roxy lalonde #roxy <> fefeta

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mythicalcowboyatheart · 2 months

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Art the clown x bimbo reader hcs

»»———-►»»———-►»»———-►»»———-►

An: okay so I have a love for bimbo readers so here's my first time actually writing one let me know if y'all want more of bimbo reader and if y'all want I can do bimbo reader with other characters I write for. I hope y'all enjoy!☺️💚

»»———-►»»———-►»»———-►»»———-►

• Art is immediately fascinated by the way you dress

• short skirts and crop tops that barely leaves any thing to the imagination

• he probably appreciates that your clothes are monochromatic like his but yours are just different pinks

• he would also find it amusing that your a little bit dumb and that you don't question why he comes back home covered in blood

• if you did ask he'd probably sign (because I like to think he knows/uses ASL) it's because he spilled strawberry syrup on himself

and of course you believe him cuz your a good partner god damn it

• I have this really cute little idea that if you dressed as a sexy clown for Halloween but all pink he'd LOVE IT!

• some funny imagery is his clown suit getting turned pink because you washed y'all's clothes together it also might have been because of the blood on it but oh well!

• of course you guys get strange looks because of how you both dress is totally opposite but neither of you give a fuck because y'all are happy and that's all that matters

#art the clown x reader #art the clown x bimbo reader #terrifier

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lurkingshan · 7 months

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I Feel You Linger in the Air: Theories

I have been holding off on posting theories about exactly what is happening with Jom's time travel in I Feel You Linger in the Air until we got more info, but I am too hype to hold it back anymore, so let's clown!

@neuroticbookworm and I have been talking for a couple weeks about the possibility that Jom has traveled not just through time, but through dimensions. Last week, after a gust of wind blew through, Jom was suddenly transported to a different spot in the yard alone, and we heard voices from the present calling his name, but when he looked back over his shoulder, he could see himself still in the past with Yai and the others. It was like his consciousness suddenly switched over to a different version of himself, but he maintained awareness and the ability to see both. @waitmyturtles posited that his body in the present may be in a coma or otherwise indisposed, and this was a moment of lucidity when he almost woke up into the present.

In this episode, we saw that he was somehow able to see scenes playing out in the present from his vantage point in the past, and in this first scene in particular, the imagery was quite telling. Jom is peeking through the veil (of time? of reality?) at something he should not be able to see. He was not part of this scene between the workers and thus is not simply remembering something he already experienced. So how is he able to see it, and what does it mean?

Later, he sees present Jom again, and this time gets up close and personal with his other self. But interestingly, only past Jom was able to perceive the other; present Jom seemed to sense something in the atmosphere, but did not actually see his other self in the past. This indicates that only our Jom, and his current consciousness, is aware of any of this happening, and has only himself to puzzle it out with. The other Joms can't talk to him, but the mirror imagery constantly reminds us they are out there.

It's also notable that while some of the characters have avatars in both timelines, not all of them do. Jom's consciousness did not travel into the body of another Jom that already existed in the past; he is brand new here, a man out of time and out of place. So far, the only characters with doppelgängers here are Jom's sister, Jom's ex, and Jom's ex's pregnant girlfriend. All people explicitly tied to Jom and who were present for part of his last Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day in the present. This would suggest his subconscious is creating this place he has transported to as a means of processing his trauma, but his ability to see into things happening between the workers in the present (and have Uncle Tan appear to hear his voice as well) suggests that what he is seeing of the present is real. We also know the drawings he is creating are found in the present, so the two places do appear to exist on the same time continuum and call to each other across time.

And we can’t forget the original mystery here, which is who the hell that mustache version of Yai was, and what he and the water have to do with moving Jom through time or dimensions. Yai does not appear to have any memory of kissing Jom in the water, or understand that Jom has time traveled (though he is aware that he's been dreaming about him and that he doesn't quite fit here), so it’s not clear if that was him or his doppelgänger from an even earlier time.

In conclusion: I have no conclusion, just many, many questions. This show is brilliant and I would love to hear all your theories about what is happening.

#i want y'all to know this post originally had handy images but tumblr won't let me be great so you'll have to recall the scenes yourself #i feel you linger in the air #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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ner5y · 2 months

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MY FUCKING GOD HOW I LOVE FIRST PART OF EXECUTION

I LOVE YOUR STYLE AND I SEE HOW MUCH WORK YOU PUT INTO THIS ITS SO BEAUTIFUL AND DETAILED

I ALWSO LOVE HOW YOU MADE FOR MAIN ELITE DIFRENT THRONES ITS SO NICE DETAIL

SEEING ME UP THERE LITERARY MADE MY DAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTUNG ME THERE

Alwsi sorry for screaming im yast so in nice mood after reading this ^^

Thank you!!

I put a decent amount of thought into the throne's designs!

In this essay I will-

Hootbons was the most difficult to design. Good thing I started with her's first!

Since her OC maple is a rubberhose cartoon, I went with a 20s technology theme. The 20s were a time of great technological advancement. Radio, Television, even Vaccum cleaners!

Just cluttering a bunch of 20s technology together didn't look very good, though, so I added maple tree branches along with animation themed items like pencils and animation cels.

Mushy's is just a slightly redesigned version of her throne from her execution. I added a few more mushroom types for variety.

Dia's was easy. It's just his crown as a throne.

Since I found 0104-vkta from her human Gangle art, That's what I based her throne on! You'll see a combination of the happy and sad masks in the middle.

Loxely's was also simple, she's a flower. I made her throne a flower.

Goose's is supposed to be a goose feather, but I looked up references for duck feathers instead for some reason. (also, I just drew generic bird feet instead of goose feet??)

since Rabid is a jester with a clown nose (a mix of a medieval form of entertainment and the more modern concept of a circus clown), I decided to mix a medieval throne with props you'd find in a circus!

Burrotello's throne was made reaalllly late in the game, when I had already finished most of the sketches for part one, but I felt bad not including her since she was the only new member of our discord at the time.

I went with a gothic theme for her's. I don't think her clothes can really be considered goth, but that's what I went for. Maybe it's the earrings.

You'll also notice that, unlike the others, she doesn't have anything on the backrest! I forgot it 😭 (this design element is an important theme.)

Edit:

Just realised I forgot to include Ark-fork!

Her's was pretty simple, it's just a throne made of bones. There wasn't really any planning for this one!

Okay, so the backrests! Each of the thrones have a circular element in that area (except for Burrotello because I forgot, and Dia's and Mushy's aren't really circular, but you get it). They are meant to represent halos. If you look at the backgrounds, you'll see eyes on the balcony of the elite's seating section:

And, it's not very visible since the large thrones are covering it up, but there are wings on the back wall behind the elites.

Multiple eyes and wings are commonly attributed to biblically accurate angels

The elites sit high above everyone else, surrounded by angelic imagery with "halos" behind their heads. It is a very clear show of their hubris, of their willigness to play god not only with their AUS, but with their own audience, deciding who lives or dies by the wave of a hand (i.e. executions).

When I describe "the elites" here, I am specifically referring to how they are portrayed as characters in my comic. This is not a comment on the real people behind these sonas.

If you read all of that, thanks! I put a lot of work into this comic, so i appreciate people taking interest in my process!

#design process #behind the scenes

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dailyperkele · 14 days

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(I'm once again thinking too much about Per'kele's torso and wings-

Especially because, as much as I love it, why is he bird-like? His base design is based off an illustration of the Devil/Lucifer from the Grand Grimoire and that checks out with the name and his "betrayal" towards the Moon God (literally a Celestial Deity). Even the jester motive fits because of having to pass as a servant of the "Trickster" God- and if not that there is the "Jester Privilige" that ironically makes the Jester the most free individual in a king's court- which fits him and the whole theme of "earn you freedom" imo.

But why the bird? More ties to Lucifer and fallen angels? The "birds of the air" from the bible which were seen as demons or as a negative symbol in general?

Even saying that it's because of Rher and His need to have servants themed after animals isn't enough of an explanation since he could've been anything else (I mean He already has a cat, a jellyfish, a cockroach- He surely doesn't have a limited choice pool). But no, he has that bird theme-

It's even more interesting that his wings are revealed alogside his exposed bloody ribcage- it'd make more sense for them to be two separated reveals (if we read them as "the marks of Sulfur and Rher" which I personally do) but instead you see both of them at the same moment, making me think they must be read together-

Where am I going with this rambling? Well- I may often call him "Chicken" when clowning on him but I also call him something else when I decide to take him seriously: "Pettirosso" ("Robin" in english buuut- for this one the italian word works best due to its direct meaning: "Petti = petto = chest" + "Rosso = red" = "Red Chest").

There is a christian story about how the Pettirosso got its name: when Christ was dying on the cross a bird flew up to him, either to soothe his pain by singing or to try and move away the thorns of his crown. Either way the bird ends up getting punctured in the chest / a drop of blood falls on its chest, forever staining it red.

A very popular theory is that the Sulfur god is a discarded part of Alll-Mer, who is heavily inspired by Christ- so Alll-Mer could be seen as the spiritual part of Christ, the one that reached godhood, while Sulfur is His corpse or carnal part, the one He left behind.

Putting those two things together I can't help but picture it-

Per'kele being the "bird" that approached Sulfur's forgotten remains- and offered the flesh off his chest to Him, forever staining himself in red.

We don't know if Per'kele was the one to start the cult but- ehh just let me be delusional with the religious imagery.

...yeah the fixation is going great. I love overanalyzing the most miniscule and useless details, thank you for noticing :>)

#not a daily #Me coming back from the burnout by first drawing him in a bunny suit and then comparing him to a Pettirosso. Checks out.#Am I reading too deep? Yes. Am I reaching deeper than hell itself? YES. Do I love it? Damn if I do.#and I just love the Pettirosso religious origin story what can I say #I wanna make a drawing based on this thing so damn bad but inspiration for the composition is lacking unfortunately atm agh-

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cinnamon-phrog · 5 months

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Dhmis headcanons let's goooo

^^^ banner is a disclaimer not a DNI! I just wanna be clear I case I get misinterpreted!

Yellow

Yellow has more allergies than anyone else ever and has incredibly irritable skin prone to rashes and acne no matter what skin products he uses or how frequently he washes.

Can wiggle his ears Fozzie Bear style idk I just find that visual cute <3

He has stretchy limbs like his dad but only slightly, he can’t stretch himself nearly as far as Roy can

Yellows’ nose can make a cartoony honk noise, like a clown <3

Doesn’t just love spaghetti but ALL pasta dishes. Literally anything pasta or potato based is his kinda thing.

He’s the one who painted all the paintings in the house, even the one with him and Roy, since if his father can’t be there with or for him then at least he can in a painting.

Can’t paint horses. Cannot. But he knows Red loves them so he attempted to paint one for him. He hates it and cringes at it but Red insists it’s perfect and keeps in up on the kitchen wall.

Gets hot easily due to his batteries working overtime to keep him alive and hates wearing thick fabric clothes like jumpers and hoodies because of his irregular heat.

He can grasp things easier if left to his own devices. If something is explained to him via word of mouth he’s not going to comprehend it and would much rather figure it out himself and experiment. [Again I swear I’m not projecting….]

Has maladaptive daydreaming disorder.

Forgets things easily but remembers give Duck glasses of water at least twice a day to prevent him from going Back in The Hole again.]

Likes Duck because he is green and although he can’t remember much about himself, green is comforting to him.

Falls somewhere on the masochist spectrum [he likes being bitten. Cmonnnnn if the other two are freaks so is he let me have this one]

Suffers fatigue and can’t walk far without needing to sit down at least five times.

Has tried everything to ease this and his chronic thinking induced headaches, including various pills, tablets and herbal teas.

Very light sleeper, he wakes up constantly throughout the night, and will sometimes give up sleeping altogether.

Duck

Surprisingly really talented at sewing.

Loves fashion, and creates all his own outfits.

Also sewed the tablecloth in the kitchen.

Actually a really good cook but can’t be bothered to most of the time.

Has dioramas of war enactments and model planes that he plays around with secretly.

He has slight Aphantasia, meaning he struggles to visualise imagery. I have this headcanon because in Jobs, when he is told he can do a million things, he only thinks of about three. He can’t imagine what a million would look like. Again it’s just a headcanon and not to be taken seriously.

Hates the cold. In the winter he will stay in and turn all the radiators as high as possible to simulate migrating to somewhere hot. The heating bill is through the roof now.

Idolizes the military because he lived near a shelter as a child and admired them when his life wasn’t the best. He doesn’t remember that of course but he still found comfort in it and hasn’t really stopped to question why.

Has a weird relationship with food. The Healthy episode, plus him listing his favourite foods [that are all high in sugar and carbs] are given an explanation by being diagnosed with diabetes in electricity. Plus Dehydration can be dangerous for people with diabetes. High blood sugar can make you more at risk of dehydration, which is why Duck died by forgetting to drink water.

Has a rubber duck to take a bath with because ducks usually bathe together and get lonely easily.

Takes the longest getting ready for any kind of event. Like ridiculous levels of vanity just trying to pick a tie that compliments him.

Very trusting when someone is nice to him, you give him one compliment and he’s your best friend ever forever now.

Needs to wear glasses but refuses because he thinks he looks too geeky.

Used to be like Warren when it comes to friendships but he’s slowly teaching himself to be kinder, even just a little bit.

Frequently scams people for money by pretending to be a single hot milf online. Catfishing king securing that bag fr fr. Mostly it’s just Roy that falls for the scams.

PANSEXUAL. IN MY HEART OF HEARTS.

Moults his feathers quite often due to stress and is prone to over-preening himself.

Drinks 5+ cups of tea per day. Bri’ish check.

Red

His childhood horse girl phase never truly died down, all horse related things in the house belong to him besides the painting in the kitchen, which came about from him begging Yellow to paint a horse for him.

He actually wasn’t lying in the It’s Nice That interview and does actually enjoy extreme sports, or rather… watching them on the telly. So half a lie.

Has executive dysfunction and flat affect.

Struggles to find his own individuality around other people and would much rather mimic their behaviour. That’s why he’s kind to Yellow when they’re alone but mean to him when Red is in a dynamic with Duck.

He pretends not to care about peoples’ opinions but he’s awfully self-conscience about himself and the way he behaves.

Needs about a whole bag worth of coffee in order to feel even a little awake.

Prone to napping throughout the day.

VERY heavy sleeper. Could sleep through just about anything.

Similar to Yellow, Red hates feeling hot and because he’s covered in thick, fleecy hair he simply chooses not to wear clothes. However he finds it weird when other people do it because that’s the only individuality he feels is solely for himself.

His hair is prone to frizzing and needs a gazillion different hair products and brush types to take care of it.

Goes between not taking care of himself and practically rotting himself or pampering and spoiling himself rotten. No in between.

Has posture and back problems.

Can purr like a kibby <333

All of Red’s species is agender and intersex.

Spoils Skrunty the cat like she’s his own little princess because she IS. She’s his little muffin pie. His skrunkly Skrunty woo. His BABY.

Likes spicy food but is all about trying new impossible diets which he’ll regret and forget in about a week.

Really likes spicy foods and although he’s the one who set the no sharing food thing in motion he will beg for a taste of any food Duck makes [which is usually curry dishes]

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #yellow guy #red guy #duck #🎨🌻#👄🍝#🦆📋#🚦🏠

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