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#also I’m going through a ring phase 😂
bass-alien · 1 year
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🖤🕷🖤
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myalchod · 3 months
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Ben/Rose + #3
Just murder me now and save yourself the trouble. 😂
3. a kiss goodbye - [ also on AO3 ]
Their marriage begins with a kiss.
It’s a formality, maybe; it’s far from the first kiss they’ve shared, but there’s an underlayer of solemnity to doing so in front of friends and family and stepping briefly away from the war they’ve both become hopelessly embroiled in to acknowledge this step. The sobriety doesn’t last long — couldn’t, in the face of Andreas’ raucous catcall — but before Ben can pull back to protest Rose has lifted one hand to flip the specialist off even as the other fists in Ben’s tie to pull him closer, and the assembled crowd quickly dissolves into laughter. This, thinks Rose Wheeler — Rose Harvey, now — isn’t at all a bad way to start the next phase of her life.
There’s no time for making a proper start on things, no honeymoon or even visits to either of their family homes. They celebrate late into the night in the company of those who’ve been able to come to Alfea for the wedding, but even with life marching on the war does too, and in the morning reality intrudes once again. Rings and kisses exchanged may have sealed their vows, but none of those prevent him from being called back to the general’s side, leaving her to a greenhouse filled with medicinal orders to fill. She battles the endless stream of injuries, front-line and civilian alike, and tries not to think too hard of what her husband and their friends are facing out there, or of the all-too-real possibility that one of them may one day be carried through her infirmary door.
When he does return, however, it’s on his own two feet, exhausted but physically unharmed. The kiss he gives her is distracted, as though his body may be here but his mind is still in the field, and she cannot entirely blame him — not when she has her own concerns, her own distractions to attend to. Supplies are running low and she needs to get back to the greenhouse and the plants due to be forced into bloom for the next round of replenishments, just as strained as she feels these days. It is only the space of a moment before he is gone again, it seems, and though they spend the nights together, she can hardly remember them. Perhaps, she thinks, they had been hasty, but surely after nearly ten years together she knows him well enough to be sure of her choice.
I’m pregnant, she writes him when her periods do not come for several months. Once could be stress, hardly surprising with the state of everything, but a second time is unlikely when she’s always been regular as clockwork, and a third is long enough for her to confirm it. He does not reply, but letters get lost all the time in the chaos beyond Alfea’s barrier, and it does not surprise her when her announcement is met with silence. She is eight months along, short-tempered and increasingly ungainly, by the time he comes home again. “Rotating out,” he says tersely when she asks, his own irritation plain, though he apologises once he has slept and showered and eaten, kisses her hands and her stomach and murmurs softly remorseful words. He had always wanted children, when they’d discussed it before; the timing may be far from ideal, but they aren’t getting any younger, and with everything ahead …
“If you get yourself killed out there, I’ll murder you,” she tells him as he prepares to leave once his reprieve is over. Sam is swaddled against her chest, a tiny bundle; Ben laughs, kisses his downy head, drops another on her brow before he lets her pull him in for a more solid one. “That goes for both of you,” she adds over his shoulder to Andreas, who just grins and blows her a kiss of his own. For a moment she can believe the levity is real but then they go, leaving her to sleepless nights and increasing strain, and she once again feels as if the world is drawing tight about her.
(He returns again, ten months after Sam is born, but this time the tension does not ease. There is a desperation to the press of her mouth against his in the dark, trying to find something of who they had been. Afterwards she lies there sleepless, wondering if she’d found it or if that, too, has been lost on the battlefield.)
When he walks through Alfea’s gates at the end of the war, it should have been a triumph, or at least a relief. He is home, after all, and that should be that. But their cottage feels too small, crowded with everything he will not speak of and all she bites back, and she is tired — tired beyond reason, beyond what her pregnancy justifies, even this close to term and with a child not yet two still demanding so much of her attention. He is not the boy she had met across the greenhouse benches, not the man who’d awkwardly courted her with flowers carefully chosen for meanings and plant he knew she’d appreciate; the tenderness is perfunctory, nearly an afterthought, and though she does not think he means it she is not sure what he means. She is not sure she knows him at all anymore.
When he holds Terra for the first time, smiling down at her with eyes gone soft, she thinks: maybe I do, even after everything that’s happened. He kisses her gently as he hands their daughter back to her, and she finds herself hoping that what they once had is not lost.
But nothing is the same. Everything has felt off balance since he returned: Andreas’ absence is a void she cannot ignore, Farah and Saul changed even more than Ben by whatever had happened out there, and the secrets that stretch between them form a veil she cannot pierce. She watches, trying to puzzle out all that goes unspoken, but in the end it is to no avail. She is drowning in his silences and, whether it is a matter of will not or cannot, all that matters is that he does not speak.
(She tries. Their children are too young, and so she tries and he tries, but it is not enough.)
She kisses him for the last time with her bags packed, car keys a leaden weight in her pocket that is still less than the heaviness in her heart. Neither of them can live like this — and she knows that she is the one who no longer fits here. He will not admit it, but he knows it too.
“I still —”
She sets her fingers against his mouth to silence him, and then her mouth, an even more fleeting touch, before she turns away. He does not stop her and she does not look back. Not until Alfea is little more than a pinprick in her rearview mirror does she put her fingers to her own mouth to press back a sob with the last of his touch.
He had tasted like the death of dreams, the end of an era. (He had tasted like goodbye.)
[ ask me another ] [ all answers ]
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luckyluxlady · 1 year
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Update, Costa Rica was beautiful 🥹 and exactly the trip I needed. I felt so much clarity, doing something just for myself and being by myself and I feel like it gave me the passion that I had for traveling back. I haven’t gone on a trip that wasn’t at all work related in so long. Even though I went alone I ended up making friends. I also met some people who were a lot older and still solo traveling/hopping around living abroad and that was pretty much their lives and I totally respect that decision but it showed me that that’s not really what I want. I came to the conclusion that I definitely am in a phase of my life where I want to retire, settle down, start a family, build a home. My boyfriend is closing on his house soon and he said he is also going to buy me a ring by the end of the year, but wait until I forgive him to propose. I am really trying to work towards forgiving him. I met some cute guys in Costa Rica as well, I didn’t do anything with them just some light flirting but it definitely showed me that the streets are not it 😅  even though my boyfriend hid something important from me, I really want to work through this. I don’t think anyone is perfect and he has been patient with me in some areas I’m not great in either.  I did a lot of yoga, Reiki, Pilates and etc on this trip and I feel extremely spiritually aligned lol 😂 But I still don’t think I’m ready to fully forgive. And I’m trying to figure out what I need to do to get to that place. I also want to plan another trip now 💕 and wanted to say I appreciate everyone here who has given me advice and supported me through this time. 
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Writing asks - 19!
19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Where there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?
- Oof this is gonna be a long ride. I actually started telling stories as an itty bitty kid (think like 8yo). Like, my friends and I would read GI Joe comic summaries online and then make up funny scenarios for the joes (we LOVED doing stuff to storm shadow, he is very plinkable) The ol oral tradition was our speciality. I tried writing some of my ideas down but they were.... painfully amateur. I cringe to speak of those days 🤢
I read a LOT as a kid. Loved fantasy and historical fiction, not really into scifi. Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Shannara, this time i went to medieval times in SC—all of these fed into my love of princes and swords fair maidens and long flowy dresses and horses and of course— ✨ magic ✨ my first fantasy story was a fanfic of the sword of shannara, but i rapidly moved into the “lets imagine all of my church friends and i got isekai-ed!” (I did not know the word for it but i was in LOVE with the concept) one of my besties and i were heavily into fantasy role play as well, so a lot of my OC templates were created during those sessions. We role played through shannara, Star Wars, gi joe, whatever movie we had watched recently—it was insanity and i couldn’t get enough.
When I was about twelve i started writing my fantasy stories down (very bad, no good for publishing) because i wanted to show my church friends. I should mention that this is when David became, like, a central romantic figure in my stories (including one OC who was literally based on him and was, of course, in love with my self-insert... please stop laughing i know its cringe 😂) i wrote fantasy for the longest time, but in the back of my head was brewing a scifi fantasy epic that was basically children get isekai-ed to star wars but its also like lord of the rings (this is also cringe, please laugh) and this is probably my biggest universe, next to...
THE SUPERHERO VERSE(s). I watched Avengers Earths Mightiest Heroes when i was like 13? I think? And I was ENRAPTURED. It was a spiritual awakening 😌 i started crafting superhero stories left right and center, with the main one being a mirror version of earth that was originally set on the avengers cartoon earth before i exported it to its own galaxy. I also listened to a LOT of linkin park at this point so things got a little... edgy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (this was the advent of the universe where i murdered the woobie and had his blood spray all over the main girl 😂)
My weeb phase activated in my late teens right after my batman phase (my main fanfic output has been batman related) and then ffxv and voltron and mystic messenger and—fanfic kinda took over and i didnt work on my original stories for a while. I have a whole doc full of different original ideas and many, many started-and-left-gathering-dust manuscripts laying around (both physically and digitally). Because you see i have The Depression and it is really, really hard to write sometimes 🥺 sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball and read manga ‘til i’m ready to face the world again. I have been writing for over a decade and only finished four stories and very rough drafts they are 😭 I blame The Depression (but also i have very bad writing habits and a general lack of discipline so the responsibility is mine in the end regardless)
At present i would like to finish a story—any story—and be able to look back it and say “yes, I did that. I persevered” and then show it to all my friends like ha! You called me the writer and now i am writing! Please praise me 😊 (i am insecure and i need proof of being worthy of living)
and now i should go write because if i dont try at least a little bit today i shall never get anything else done 😂
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bugsweirdworld · 3 years
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Hello! Does your version of Swap Papyrus (🍯) smoke? If so, what is his reaction to an s/o that can make smoke rings?
Hi there bestie 😚!
My Stretch DOES smoke, usually just cigarettes but he also does a bit of weeeeed 🍃🍃 👀
He goes through phases where he says he’s gunna calm down on the smoking but the other guys smoke too and it’s kinda enabling, plus he can’t be bothered to try any more at this point Ahahaha 😂💀
I have some more to say on this though, so I’ll do it as bullet point headcanons for you! But I kept it more broad rather than JUST smoke rings. It’s kinda long so I put a read more!
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Stretch with a S/O that smokes
Tw: smoking + mentions of drugs
Once Stretch meets his s/o he tries not to smoke as much because he doesn’t want to be a bad influence
But this + other relationship type dealies make him more anxious/nervous, which just makes him want to smoke more 😂
To be honest, once he finds out that you smoke too he feels kinda weird about it. He doesn’t like the idea of you smoking because it’s really bad for you...
But on the other hand it’s kinda hot
But on the other hand not hot cause HE wanted to teach you how to smoke 😔
I’m not gunna lie he’s a bit of a hypocrite about it, sorry not sorry 💀.
He just likes the idea of you being all innocent and nervous so he starts teaching you, shotgunning the smoke and making out with you, why’d you have to go and betray him like this bestie?! 😭
He’ll definitely want to show you how to do weed if you’ve never done it, but has hidden feelings of being a bad s/o for encouraging you to do these things.
If you agree, you can sit in his lap as he murmurs guidance into your ear, maybe just ignore the way his voice hitches when you move your hips...
If you can do smoke rings he probably thinks it’s really cute and fun!
He has that kind of smug attitude about it. Like, awww they can do smoke rings, how cute... but can they do this?
He probably makes a joke about how you should take it to the next level and do one around his dick 💀
If you learn how to do smoke rings specifically for him or after he met you he finds it even more cute and kinda hot too because you’re learning and doing “naughty” things for him.
You’re just so eager and innocent with the whole ~papy look what I learned 🤗~ kinda thing.
Even better if you let him teach you how to make the smoke rings or any other tricks really.
The way he proposes “lessons” to you is definitely by smirking and blowing a ring in your face, all smug because of your startled, innocent look.
Of course then he starts chuckling, and takes another drag before stubbing his cigarette out and leaning close to shot gun the last smoke, proceeded to then make out with you like a heathen 😔😳
Oh please
...,.,,,.
Who am I kidding? He’d do that whether or not you already knew how to smoke 😂
He loves to smoke with you. As much as the idea of you smoking worries him, one of his favourite things to do is just... lay there with you and smoke.
The two of you, side by side on the floor/grass/bed/etc... just enjoying each other’s company.
Even if it’s only him smoking, even if you don’t feel comfortable with doing it yourself, he still loves to have you with him when he does it.
It feels so domestic, but in his own way.
It’s not romantic home made dinners or talking about starting a family kinda domestic right now, it’s his kind.
You laying on his chest, feeling him breath the smoke in and out while he pets your hair, chuckling every so often at something you said.
Sometimes, since smoking is somewhat of an escape for him, he likes to be alone. But most of the time he’s fine having you lean against him while he smokes out back or smirking as he feels your curious little eyes watching him.
He just loves you. Therefore, he hopes you will feel comfortable enough to do these things with him.
If not that’s fine! He just wants you to be apart of his special time and right now “special time” is a smoke break.
You can help change that though!
He wants you to be apart of the mundane everyday of his life.
Although that thought might have scared him once...
Now??
That would make him very happy.
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intuitive-bbloom · 2 years
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Hello bbloom~
question - You and your idol in a relationship? What are the dynamics?
idol - jungkook (BTS)
A.S. 💀🔥✨💋
exchange - our dear bbloom and taehyung
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As I started to channel I heard Taehyung's giggles. I see dinner in expensive and luxurious places. Him acting like a gentleman . He will definitely open the car doors for you. Idk if you're into art but get ready to paint with him. jackets, jeans, t-shirts, even walls 💀 It feels like a rollercoaster ride lmao. You both will come out of your comfort zone. There will be nights where instead of going out you both will stay in. He will serenade you (remember in the Soop tae doing it to namjoon?) and tease you.
The relationship will be private but his display of love for you will be BIG. You will know it 😂 Even during interviews and vlives he'll talk about your favorite songs or brands or dishes and the members will go 👀🤨
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He will buy you stuff 🌚 very expensive stuff.
"you are the reason why i work so hard"
"you deserve the best"
jagiya keeps ringing in my ear. Cute nicknames omg 🥺
He will always be so excited to come back home and spend time with you. Cuddles help him relax. I see hour long calls. It's never enough for him. I see him intertwining his beautiful fingers with yours. His protective side will come out. If someone messes with you, they are D E A D.
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On a side note, yeontan will have a beef with you. Taehyung will be amused but he'll try to get him to like you. You three will go on road trips together. I see him renting cabins in the woods. Travelling will play a big part in your relationship.
He's so soft for you. I keep hearing "finally". You make him feel complete and appreciated.
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Attaching some of my fav. tae pics
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Songs~
I’ve been hearing waiting to get to yours and now I’m here!!!! 💕💕💕✨💕✨✨💕✨
Let’s go! 💕
Our Dear Celeste-x and Jungkook
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What’s the relationship going to be like?: Bliss is what I’m hearing, it’s like the honeymoon phase never ends! That song just came to me! Honeymoon fades, if you haven’t heard it I urge you to listen to it. That is your song like oh my God I can cry at how cute it is!!!!
Unexpected, this thing that we fell into
Lie, so connected
You came at a time when my heart was selective
Didn't have to choose my love was accepted, yeah
Now I'm learning you like one-on-one
You were sent to me like a one of one
And, now we're going hard just one-on-one
Nobody else
I hope we never change
I hope we stay the same
I hope that we can love through the pain
After the honeymoon fades
I hope we never change
I hope we stay the same
I hope we can love through the pain
After the honeymoon fades
You’re literally God sent to Jungkook! The love he has for you is indescribable, he hopes that he can love you through it all and what you guys have will never change. Man wants to marry you and build a home with you 💕✨✨ like Jesus that’s so adorable! I’m sorry I love the song honeymoon fades and I haven’t listened to it in forever and to think it just popped up, so freaking adorable! You’re such a learning experience for him, you teach him about mediation and so much more, teach him how to cook too ☺️😂😂 like I can see you washing vegetables with an apron as he’s beside you just at awe at you doing your thing and you snap your head back to him and ask if he’s paying attention and he’s like yeah yeah but nah he’s just admiring how amazing you are at everything.
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He loves the smell of your perfume and your fashion sense, he loves pinching your cheeks and biting them cuz he thinks they’re so cute and fluffy, probably calls you cake or bunbun 🥺🥺🥺 also buys you all the nice things in the world! Like he’ll just be staring at you and be like, what can I do to make her smile? When you’re frustrated and stuff he offers massages just to ease the pain. I did mention one time he’s a fan of your cooking, man loves to eat whatever you give him. He’s really enjoying the culture, call it culture appreciation ❤️
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The relationship is private like he doesn’t want anyone in your business, he’s usually lenient with these kind of stuff but not with you. He knows you can handle yourself spiritually from energy saseangs and loves how boss ass you are! Anyways, when people do ask about you, he can’t help but give this smile that people have dubbed “the wifey” smile, cuz that smile only shows up when you’re called or mentioned. Like people even have YouTube compilations of it and people are oppressed by you guys relationship. People are always crying that they want what you guys have. 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭
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I don’t know if you guys are only boyfriend or girlfriend but y’all are already like a married couple 🥺 and that’s all I hear, they call you his wife God my heart 😭😭😭😭 he calls you that too 😉😏💕
I can hear,
“How’s your wife?”
“She’s good, lemme call her–“
“…So you do see her as your wife!”
“😳😳… Uh.”
Now let’s get into the goodie bag! 💕💕✨✨
Mother
Forget me nots
000
Sweet tooth
March
May
Introspection
5th house
Amaryllis
Nature
Ouroboros
I love you
10th house
Moon
Asian
Sister
Hmmmmm what is this I’m seeing, these are a lot heheh 😂😂 So I’m getting his mother might be skeptical about you cuz you’re not Korean, so how are you going to yknow do their traditional stuff or talk to them? I’m certain you have special days on those months like when you first met or your anniversary or wedding something 🥺😂 I guess you urge him to look deep within himself and figure out his life and the choices he wants/needs to make. The 5th house is known for kids oh my and creativity and stuff but yeah he wants a family with you and you inspire his artistic side, I could say you’re his muse 🥺🥺💕💕💕😭😭😭😭. You guys probably go camping or are in touch with nature, cabins in the wood maybe? Are we going on a double date 😏😉😉
I suggest you delve deep into this and look for more meanings! Hope you liked it my love!!! 💕💕✨💕✨✨☺️☺️☺️
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