#all the people who hated on this pairing for no reason have nothing to stand on LOL
bigshotautos · 15 days ago
i was fucking right about spamton stealing the leitmotif in the breakup
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darwinquark · a year ago
thinking a fic is actually taking the time out to build a love/hate pairing between a hero and villain with slowly growing mutual respect and begrudging bonding and earned moments of connection/revelation
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getting 26 chapters in only for it be revealed that the dude’s actually obsessed with her and has been for years and she’d just lost her memories of it 
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10 notes · View notes
caelesjjk · 20 days ago
sanguine - jjk- part one
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⟶title: sanguine
⟶au: vampire au, arranged marriage au, royalty au
⟶ pairing: vampire king!jungkook x human queen fem reader
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ genre: romance, kinda slow burn?, smut, angst
⟶wc: 10.5k
⟶warnings: some swearing, mentions of blood, lots of sexual tension, one kiss, a bit angsty, reader is a badass. No smut for this part my fellow horny bitches, but there is certainly smut in the future.
⟶ summary: Marry the vampire king. Save the kingdom.
Your father is the king of a rare human kingdom that has been plagued by famine and sickness. And in a last ditch effort to save the kingdom, he has arranged for you to marry the vampire king to the north. Your hand in marriage in exchange for his help in saving your kingdom.
Everything you swore could never happen between the two of you begins to unfold as you spend more time in the vampire kingdom with its king and his subjects. Can you learn to love this place and it’s beloved ruler?
⟶ authors note: hi friends. this has been a whirlwind of a fic and this is only part one lol. it’s my baby in a way because I’ve had this idea for so long. I started writing it long before my king decided to actually grace us all with his vampire concept for his folio. that only encouraged me more to get this done.
A few shoutouts need to be made because without these people I don’t think I’d ever finished this. @jeonjcngkook jords, not only did you beta the shit out of this, but you’ve been there for me while I’ve written it and listened to me whine and cry for weeks. u have no idea how much it means. @haliiimede for reading through and convincing me that it wasn’t trash and giving me such lovely feedback. And also a huge thanks to @tea4sykes for reading through and encouraging me the whole way, ur the best Kay. @missgeniality siya, you absolute angel, I literally owe you big time for this amazing banner. and thank you for making me a new one when jungkook dropped all the vampire content lol. It’s so stunning.
(Vows found at vampireweddings.blogspot.com)
Alright enough blabbing, please enjoy! Send me all the feedback!
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For the good of the kingdom.
For the good of mankind.
That was what your family kept telling you…no, they insisted that this was the only way.
Your father’s kingdom had become wrought with sickness, famine, and the people were starving. All of the resources available had been drained, there was nothing left.
And so, in a desperate plea for help, your father went to the vampire kingdom in the north, with whom your kingdom shared a border. And while the vampire king was willing to help, he wanted to make sure that this alliance was official and binding. He asked that you marry him to join your kingdoms, and that way there would be no reason for any type of betrayal.
You hated the idea. You fought it with everything that you had. The vampires disgusted you with their lust for blood and their strange habits. It was the worst thing you thought could happen.
But your father was right, it was the only choice your kingdom had left, and you had a duty to the people.
With that realization, is how you find yourself under this gorgeous oak tree in the middle of the night. The stars and moon and a few scattered candles are the only light to be found in this open field.
“Welcome one and all, witnesses to both His Highness the King and ______, princess of the human kingdom to our South, as they pledge their dedication to walk the night together. From the night we come, to the night we go, Cursed or blessed to walk the moonlight alone.”
The wedding dress that is chosen for you to wear is dark crimson, a bloody reminder of just who exactly is standing before you. With full lace skirts that drag against the ground, it’s light, airy even. It feels incredibly soft against your skin as your finger tips brush against the fabric but none of that matters as you still feel like you’re suffocating. It’s the absolute opposite of the dress you imagined yourself wearing on your wedding day but it is tradition here in the vampire kingdom for the bride to wear red.
“Sometimes another soul walks our path, Then two become one, in love everlasting. Come forward, Children of the Blood, And welcome this couple to your brood, Within each other, these two are found, Bear witness as their souls are bound.”
The hardest part of this is that it needs to be believable, and at the same time, the subjects from both kingdoms wanted you and the king to hate each other. So the wedding had to be done with official vows, ones that made it sound like the two of you were in love. It makes your stomach churn as the priest continues to speak.
“Please bring your left wrists forward towards me.” The priest said with a soft smile. Though it was gentle, his fangs are still visible, sending a shiver down your spine.
He takes out a red sash from his pocket and gently ties it around both of your wrists, Jungkook’s cold skin brushes against yours and makes you jump slightly. Though it’s as cold as stone, it’s also as soft as cashmere.
Finally, you allow yourself to look up at the man standing next to you.
You hate that he is so beautiful. Possibly the most beautiful being you have ever seen. Soft, thick, black hair slightly smoothed back away from his forehead, eyes almost as black as his tresses and lips that were sharp and hued pink.
When he catches you staring for a bit too long, he merely smirks and turns his attention to you.
“Sorry.” The king mouths to you, no sound coming from his mouth. You look back towards the priest quickly. He holds out a golden goblet beneath your bound wrists.
“Stand now as ye will stand forever, Like this crimson cloth your hearts are tethered, This goblet's contents are your symbols of devotion, So take the rings from the Goblet.”
Your hand shakes violently as you reach into the cup to retrieve the silver band that is to be placed on Jungkook’s right finger. You swallow thickly as you toy with the silver band in between your fingers, your pulse quickening because you know that not only can Jungkook hear the beating sounds of your heart, but all the other vampires present as well. Jungkook does the same with your wedding ring but with more confidence in his motions.
The ring he holds for you is a silver band as well, but it also contains a dark shaded ruby, cut into the shape of a blood drop or possibly a tear in the case of this marriage. But even then, it was stunning.
“______, please repeat these vows after me:
I will stand by your side, hunt at your back, and fly within your Soul. I will stand between you and all which would harm you. I will shield you from the Light of Day with my flesh. I will never betray you, for you are my Heart, my Soul and my Life.”
These vows had been written hundreds of years ago, meant for two vampires binding themselves together…not a vampire king and someone like you who is so very human. But you say them anyway, your heart still hammering in your chest as you turn your body towards the king and take his hand into yours, noticing just how soft his hands are before you slip the ring onto his awaiting finger.
“I will stand by your side, hunt at your back…” You pause when your voice shakes for a moment, “and fly within your Soul. I will stand between you and all which would harm you. I will shield you from the Light of Day with my flesh. I will never betray you, for you are my Heart, my Soul and my Life.”
You place the ring onto his finger and release the breath you have been holding the entire time. Jungkook smiles and takes your hand into his.
“King Jungkook, please repeat the vows to your bride.”
Jungkook waits a moment for you to look up at him, his eyes hold yours and his thumb rubs gently over the back of your hand. You wish you could pull it away…even more, you wish you wanted to pull it away.
“I will stand by your side, hunt at your back, and fly within your Soul. I will stand between you and all which would harm you. I will shield you from the Light of Day with my flesh. I will never betray you, for you are my Heart, my Soul and my Life.” His voice is alluring and even, as if he isn’t nervous about this at all. He slides the ring down your finger and lets it sit perfectly against your warm skin.
The priest hands the goblet to one of his assistants and turns back to the two of you after you’ve both finished.
“Above you are the stars, below you are the stones. As time passes, remember, like the star should your love burn brightly, like the stone should your love be firm. Be close, yet not so close that you restrict one another. Possess one another, yet grant each other the freedom to grow. Be understanding and compassionate, and have patience with each other, for storms may come, but they will quickly pass. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Fear not, lest the ways or words of the unenlightened give you unease.” He clasps his hands over your joined ones before he finishes the last part of the ceremony.
“As both your arms and the cloth form the symbol of eternity, may your love endure through this life and all others. As the Gods and the old ones are witness, with those of us present now, I proclaim them Husband and Wife, and thus are they bonded in Blood. The Two are now one. I present to you the Blood King Jungkook and Queen ______ forever bound, eternally free! You are husband and wife for all eternity. You may now kiss each other to seal your eternal bond of love.” The priest opens his arms and presents the two of you to the guests.
A kiss…was it necessary? Would they believe you if you didn’t kiss him? Would he be able to resist biting you? Would he taste of blood on his lips? So many thoughts plagued your mind in the moments before he cupped your cheek and tilts your face towards his.
“It’s just a kiss.” Jungkook whispered, only loud enough for you to hear. Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion at his gentle touch.
“One kiss.” You step forward and wrap the arm holding your bouquet behind his back as he leans down to mold his lips against yours.
You weren’t expecting the softness of them, assuming that their appearance would be deceiving. His cool hand on your cheek brings you just the slightest bit closer as your lips brush over his once…twice…three times before your brain catches up with you and you remember who you are kissing.
There are whispers amongst the wedding guests who watch the scene unfold in front of them. Some with disgust. Some with curiosity. However even with the divided opinions in the crowd, they all share the same opinionated attitude. You try to ignore them as best you can.
Your lips separate from his a little too quickly and your hand immediately flies up to cover your mouth and the gasp that escapes you. Jungkook smiles, a flash of fangs when his lips pull back, and gently touches the veil hanging from your head and cascading over your shoulders. He takes your free hand in his and turns you both towards the guests, who clap but don’t seem to be pleased.
“And now the crowns.” The priest turns back to his assistants and picks up the crown that belongs to Jungkook first. The king bends slightly at the waist and the crown is placed gently atop his head.
The crown looks too perfect on him, black and silver metal twisted into spikes with small red gems at the base. It’s as if he has always worn one, perfectly designed with Jungkook in mind. And maybe he has, you don’t know how long he’s been the king after all.
You hadn’t actually seen your crown until this moment. The priest picks it up from a black silk pillow and presents it to you to observe. Like Jungkooks, it too is also made from black and silver metal twisted into even more dramatic spikes. Large, jagged diamonds and rubies cover it in its entirety. It looks ridiculously heavy, and when the priest places it on your head, you find your assumption to be correct. Heavy and cold.
From somewhere nearby, horns and trumpets start to play, signaling the end of the ceremony. Jungkook takes your hand again, and the two of you make your way back down the makeshift aisle your father had nervously walked you down less than an hour ago, and already things feel so different.
You’re quickly whisked away by carriage. The space inside doesn’t feel big enough, you can’t get far enough away from him, but he simply stays on his side of the bench seat and doesn’t move towards you on the ride back to the castle.
Once you’ve arrived, you’re met at the doors by Jungkook's advisor, Namjoon, who you had met a few times beforehand during meetings with Jungkook and your father. He has a kind face, gentle like he could do no harm, but that did not change the fact that he is a still a vampire. Standing next to him is the Captain of the vampire kingdom's army, Yoongi. You had also met him previously, but he doesn’t speak much unless it’s to Jungkook regarding the royal army.
“Did everything go accordingly?” Namjoon asks as the two of you ascend the stairs to the castle.
“It was my wedding, Namjoon, not a transaction.” Jungkook moved to the side and motioned with his hand for you to walk ahead of him through the doors.
“Is that not exactly what this is?” You hear Namjoon say just before you’re inside, Jungkook sighing as he follows.
“He’s right.” You grumble.
“Beg your pardon?” Jungkook says from beside you, his hands clasped behind his back as the two of you walk towards the great hall where the celebration and dinner is being held.
“It wasn’t a real wedding. It’s part of a bargain.” You stop to face him and he does the same, looking at you bewildered.
“Perhaps the circumstances aren’t ideal, but the wedding was real, my queen.” He bows to you, and you’re sure the scowl on your face is as deep as they come.
“Let’s get this night over with.” You grab the skirt of your dress in your fists and begin stomping off towards the great hall. You can hear Jungkook laugh quietly, but you choose to ignore him.
You’re forced to mingle, your hand wrapped through Jungkook's arm as the two of you make rounds through the room. You absolutely despise the whole experience. But soon enough, you’re thankfully seated at the head table and wine is poured into your cup.
You notice that yours and your parents' place settings are the only ones with plates. But of course they would be, no one else in this damned kingdom eats food.
Downing the first glass of wine in one gulp, you signal for an attendant to bring you another one. You can feel Jungkook's eyes on you as you down one glass after another, unable to bring yourself to care about what he could possibly be thinking.
“Do you want any?” You finally ask him after your third glass. A very unladylike hiccup following.
“I think you know the answer to that question already, my queen.” He smiles softly but his jaw is tight with annoyance.
“I’m not your queen.” You say a little too loudly. Some of the guests begin turning their attention to you.
“You have every right to be angry, _____.” Jungkook tries to say under his breath, but you scoff loudly, reaching for the bottle of wine and rudely snatching it from the attendant.
“Angry? That does not even begin to cover it. I am outraged.” You take a swig from the bottle and laugh bitterly. “I am disgusted…and I am not your queen. You and your people are just…fucking vile.” You look up from the bottle of wine to see a look of horror on your father’s face from where he sits at the next table. You know you’ve said too much. You’ve been cruel. “Jungkook…” You start to correct yourself but he cuts you off by standing up from his chair with so much force that it flies back against the wall, causing the guests to look up and stare.
“One thing you are not going to do is insult my people. You can say all the terrible things you want about me, but not them. Not when they’ve given up so much so that your people can live.” He grabs your wrist and pulls you to your feet. “Let’s go.”
“Let go of me.” You try to pull your wrist away, but it’s no use against his inhuman strength. “Release me this instant!” Jungkook continues to pull you towards the door, your legs wobbly from wine and the heels on your feet.
“The evening is over. You need to sleep it off.” He pushes open the door and drags you into the dimly lit hallway.
“I am not sleeping with you!” Even though it’s futile, you scratch and pull at the sleeve of his embroidered jacket.
“As if I’d expect that of you.” Jungkook scoffs and swings you around to face him. He maneuvers your body until you’re pressed against the wall with your arms above your head, one of his hands pinning your wrists there.
“Let go!” You try to kick at him but he dodges every time.
“Whether you like it or not, my queen, this is your home now and these are your people. I have and will continue to do what’s best for everyone involved, including you.” His eyes are almost pitch black, a deep red threatening to spill into the iris’ as he speaks through his clenched teeth.
You must stop forgetting that Jungkook is a monster.
“You know nothing of what’s best for me.” You begin moving to spit in his face, but he knows what you are about to do before you have even finished the thought. His free hand comes up to cover your mouth, leaving you to glare at him without being able to talk.
“Listen carefully, my queen.” The grip on your wrists tightens slightly. “You are not the only one making sacrifices around here. So when you decide you want to act like royalty and not some drunken heathen, by all means come to me.” You jerk around in his hold, you just want him to get the hell away from you. He seems to understand your request as he slowly takes his hand away from your mouth.
“I fear you’ll be waiting a very long time, your highness. Possibly until my death, but I’m sure you’ll find that day ever so joyous.” You use your body weight to push at him once more and he finally releases you, but stays in close vicinity.
“Don’t assume you know anything about what I find joyous.” Jungkook looks over his shoulder towards the guards who are standing near the doorway to the hall. “Escort her majesty to her chambers, she’s not to leave them for the night.” Jungkook straightens his shirt and jacket, and begins making his way back towards the dinner hall.
“You can’t just lock me away! Do you hear me?” One of the guards motions for you to walk towards the opposite hallway.
“No more talking tonight. Go to sleep.” Jungkook says over his shoulder before he disappears into the dinner hall. You scoff loudly, taking off walking as fast as your drunken legs will allow you to go.
“Stupid, ignorant, pig headed blood sucker.” You grumble under your breath as you continue down the hallway. The dim lighting from the candles doesn’t allow you to see much, but you can see there is art on the walls that you would rather enjoy if you were not so pissed off. And if they did not belong to the most ridiculous man you had ever met.
The guards lead you to a winding staircase where you quickly find out that in your drunken state you are unable to climb them unassisted. At the top of the first set of stairs they split, one set going left and the other going right. The guards gesture for you to head to the left.
“And where does the right go?” You ask with a hiccup.
“To the king's chambers.” One of them replies. Jungkook had not been lying, he really had prepared your very own chambers. You reach the doors to your bedroom soon after.
One of the guards opens the door for you to enter the room. You cross your arms over your chest and practically stomp inside, turning around to face them.
“Your king is sadly mistaken if he thinks he can lock me up for the rest of my life. I’d rather die.” You aren’t sure what you expect them to say, but they merely bow before shutting the door.
As soon as it clicks shut, you grab the skirt of your dress into your hands and begin ripping the fabric apart, tossing the pieces around the room.
“Stupid, ridiculous, hideous dress.” You screech, grabbing the sleeves at the shoulders and ripping them apart too. You bend down to grab the heels off your feet, stumbling around before yanking them off and chucking them as far away from you as possible.
Your chest heaves with short breaths as you feel yourself burning with rage. Reaching up into your hair, you hastily pull out as many of the pins holding it into place as you can. You start to walk towards the wardrobe when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on the far wall. You look like a forest witch. And not the good kind.
Changing your mind about finding other clothes, you begin to notice that there isn’t much in your room. A few vases with fresh flowers and a bed with soft, silky white sheets. There’s a white fur rug at the foot of it and a very large trunk atop that. There’s also a small fireplace in the corner with a few small logs in a basket nearby. The room was otherwise quite empty.
Looking through another set of double doors, you find the washroom. There’s a claw foot tub in one corner with several shelves of soaps and oils on the wall behind it.
As badly as you want to bathe, you need to find ways to protect yourself. Weapons. You need to learn the layout of the castle so that you know where all the exits are at all times. And you also need to find some food. Food in a castle full of creatures who don’t eat it. You sigh loudly, almost tripping over some pieces of your skirt on the marble floor.
Looking down at what's left of your wedding dress on your body is almost laughable. It’s mostly just the bodice and a few pieces covering your lower region in a tattered disarray. You cannot bring yourself to care, this dress was a mistake. It was all a mistake.
You walk out onto the balcony and see a ledge that looks just big enough for you to make your way over to the next room. Wasting no time, you swing your leg over the side, feeling a bit dizzy and suddenly remembering that you’re still quite drunk. But there is no time to sober up now, you have missions to complete.
Still barefoot, you balance onto the ledge and carefully side step your way along the stone. It's only about ten feet from your balcony to the next one.
You get a little too ahead of yourself and almost slip just once, but manage to climb over the railing of the next balcony successfully. You slink over to the window and peer inside, seeing what appears to be an empty guest room. Trying the handle for the doors, you’re overly pleased to find that they are unlocked.
Once inside, you press yourself against the wall and move towards the bedroom door. You pray that once you open it, there will be no vampire guards waiting for you. You have yet to secure a weapon and this might be your only chance to do so when so many of the castle's occupants are still at your wedding reception.
Slowly, you open the door, poking your head outside to see the guards are still occupied with watching over your bedroom door. You silently thank the gods, tip toeing into the hall, you're able to make a mad dash as soon as you’ve rounded the corner and gotten out of the guards sight.
You run until you find the winding staircase that you had come upstairs on. Its familiar shape lets you know that you’re going the right way. Eyes darting from side to side, you descend the stairs, making sure there are no vampires lurking about in the halls.
With absolutely no idea where you are going, you take the hallway to the left, and to your surprise, you smell food. The scent gets stronger and more distinct the further you travel down the hallway. You notice a swinging door, the sounds of clanging pans and a soft voice coming from inside. You brave a peek inside the small round window on the door, the person inside has their back to you for a moment, but when they turn around to face you, you almost cry.
You shove open the swinging door with all your might, jumping onto a very unsuspecting Hoseok, who screams bloody murder at the sight of you. He almost falls backwards, but catches himself on the corner of the counter.
“Get off of me, witch!” Hoseok yells, reaching for a frying pan in hopes to knock out the creature currently hugging his torso.
“Oh, Hoseok, I’m so happy to see you.” You cry into his chef's coat.
“______? Is that really you?” He grabs your shoulders and moves you back to get a look at you. “My god, it really is you. What the hell happened to you?” He picks up a piece of your dress from the floor that must've fallen off in your rush to get to him.
“How are you here? Why?” You sniffle, tears streaming down your face.
“The king asked me to come stay here and be your chef…since you know, they don’t eat food and you do.” Hoseok pats the top of your head affectionately.
Hoseok is your closest friend. You had grown up together back in your father’s kingdom. His mother had been a long time servant of your parents, the most loyal that you could ask for. Hoseok had inherited that particular trait from her. He began cooking as you got older and soon became one of the best chefs in your kingdom. You were very surprised when you heard your father was so willing to let him go.
“My father let you come? Who will make him those banana pancakes he loves so much?” You laugh, wiping your face so you can get a better look at him, making sure that he’s really here in front of you.
“No, not your father, I meant King Jungkook. He apparently gave your father a rather large sum to make sure that I came here to cook for you.” Hoseok shrugs his shoulders and smiles widely.
“Why would he do that?” You hiss.
“I don’t know, _____. Maybe he just wanted you to be comfortable here.” Hoseok gives you another small hug, then moves around you to continue what he was working on before.
“I find that hard to believe.” You scoff.
“Do you want to explain why the hell you look like a swamp witch?” Hoseok is packaging some food and placing it into the cold room that was filled with ice.
“I…may have gotten drunk at the reception…and got sent to my rooms like a child. And I may have thrown a fit of rage about it.” You plop yourself down on a wooden stool in the corner of the kitchen. You learned a long time ago not to get in his way when he was working.
“You? Throw a fit? Could not imagine such a thing.” He laughs before closing the door to the cold room. “So you haven’t eaten?”
“No. I’m starving Hoseok, please make me food.” You whine to your friend and he rolls his eyes in response.
“You’re lucky I don’t beat you with this plate of food. I made this damn dinner for the reception and they brought your plate back to me untouched? You’re on thin ice my friend.” Hoseok pulls a plate of food from the oven that he had been keeping warm there and sits it in front of you.
“Have I ever told you that I love you?” You don’t bother waiting for him to hand you any utensils as you grab the food with your hands, dismissing the fact that it’s too hot to be eating. You’re too hungry to care.
“One day in the vampire kingdom and you’ve already lost your mind.” Hoseok places a fork beside your plate, but still, you ignore it.
“Do you have knives in here?” Your face lights up, looking around the kitchen.
“I’m a little hesitant to give you any sharp objects right now _____.” Hoseok looks at you with concern reaching his face.
“It’s for protection, Hobi. We’re the only two humans for miles, aren’t you a bit concerned about that?” Your mouth is half full of food as you speak and Hoseok looks disgusted as you stand up and start rifling through his kitchen.
“Of course it’s a little…unsettling. But the king isn’t going to let anything happen to us. Especially you.” Hobi walks behind you, picking things up as you make a mess. You scoff at the last part.
“He cares about me as much as I care about him, which is not at all.” You finally find the drawer that holds the kitchen knives. “Finally! Why didn’t you tell me where they were?”
“Because I think you’re slightly insane.” He puts his hands up in front of him in surrender when you turn around to face him, knife in hand.
“I’m not insane. I’m being…prepared.” You close the drawer and move back towards the kitchen door, peaking out into the hallway through the circular window. You don’t see any movement.
You aren’t sure where to keep this knife if you finally managed to get your hands on, looking around the kitchen for something to use.
“Here, just use this.” Hoseok sighs, handing you a long leather string. “Wrap it around your thigh, that's what all the female warriors do.”
Looking at Hobi inquisitively, wondering how he could possibly know that bot of information, you take the string from his hand and wrap it around your thigh until you can tie it. You’re able to secure the knife between the leather well enough for now.
“Do you even know how to kill a vampire, ____? Is a knife even going to work?” Hoseok crosses his arms over his chest as he looks at you.
“Father told me once that you have to remove their heads.” You don’t look at him, just continue looking into the hallway.
“And a kitchen knife is going to remove a vampire's head!? I’m going to pretend you didn’t get that from me if anyone asks.” Hoseok motions towards your knife with his head before he goes back to cleaning up the mess you had left in your wake.
“I’m going to go look around some more. I’ll come find you later.” You look at him now, as he picks things up off the floor.
“Please don’t.” He teases, crossing the small kitchen to stand in front of you. “Be careful roaming around this castle.”
“I’ll be fine, Hobi.” You wrap an arm around him and he does the same to you, giving each other a much needed hug. He kisses the top of your head before he lets you go.
“Go on then, Blood Queen. I’ll bring you your breakfast in the morning.” He shoos you away.
“Do not call me that.” You glare at your friend. “Eggs and lots of coffee?”
“As you wish.” He rolls his eyes again and you can’t help but smile.
Pushing open the swinging door, you carefully step out into the hallway, keeping your back pressed to the wall as you follow it through the castle.
There isn’t much to see. Some extra bedrooms, one room that looked like a study and one door that had led to a small patio. You mentally mapped that door in your head and hoped you could remember it well enough to write down when you got back to your rooms.
As you approached the end of the hallway you began to hear voices. You knew you should turn around but your curiosity was too much to battle with. So instead, you made your way to the double doors that had been left slightly ajar.
Inside, the room was full of vampires seated at a very long table. Jungkook is sitting at the head of it, his fingers adorned by silver rings, stroking his chin with worry. You aren’t sure how you know that he’s worried, but you just know. Namjoon paces the floor behind him, babbling to no one in particular it seemed. Yoongi, who is sitting to his right, still appears to be his quiet and stoic self. Not much different to how you saw him for the first time.
There are several others present around the table that you do not recognize. But the real question is why are they here instead of attending the wedding reception?
“Is this a threat we need to be prepared for sooner rather than later?” You finally hear Yoongi say, his voice deep and rumbly.
“We knew taking on the human kingdom was going to cause issues with Taehyung. Because not only did you agree to help them, you married the fucking princess.” Namjoon says, distaste thick in his voice.
“They required protection. This was how we gave them that.” Jungkook doesn’t bother looking up, he merely sits back in his chair and crosses his legs.
“At what cost? Why are we paying for their ignorance?” Namjoon continues to pace the floor behind Jungkook's chair.
It surprises you how Jungkook continues to defend your kingdom when he clearly did not have much reason to. It isn’t as if you had married him on happy terms. The only thing he is really getting out of this arrangement is land, and it isn’t like there is much of it to give in the first place. You’ve been so angry that you really had never taken the time to consider that.
“Excuse me for a moment.” Jungkook says, abruptly standing up from his chair.
You feel panic rise up as you notice that he’s heading towards the door that you’re still standing in front of. You look around the hall frantically, seeing a large statue in the corner to your left.
You dash towards it, trying to keep the sound of your bare feet padding across the marble floor as quiet as possible. You hear the door creak open all the way as you fling yourself behind the statue, flopping against the ground with a thud.
“Shit. Shit that hurts.” You whisper, trying to right yourself into a sitting position.
“Has anyone ever told you that you have the mouth of a sailor?” Jungkook is suddenly standing above you, making you jump with fright, banging your head against the statue that had apparently done nothing to hide you from him.
“Has anyone ever told you that it’s rude to just appear out of nowhere like a damn ghost?” You rub the back of your head and manage to get to your feet to stand in front of him. Jungkook scoffs, trying to hold back a laugh.
“What in the world have you done to your dress?” He asks, reaching towards your torn up skirt. Before he can touch them you slap his hand away, making your hand sting at the contact.
“I had a moment. Not that it’s any of your business.” You attempt to smooth out what’s left of the skirts at your waist.
“You look like a swamp witch.” Jungkook can’t help the smile that graces his face and you want to slap it away for being so beautiful.
“I do not!” You shove past him, stomping back down the hallway where you had come from.
“Would you please stop for a moment?” Jungkook calls after you.
“I will not.” You refuse to give him any further satisfaction. He does not seem to take the hint, his footsteps following after you.
You’ve had enough of him for one night. You reach into the band you had made and wrapped around your thigh to hold onto the kitchen knife you had gotten from the kitchen, spinning around and pointing the sharp end of the blade right at Jungkook’s throat, making him stop in his tracks in front of you.
“Where did you get a knife?” Jungkook dares to ask, an eyebrow raised in question.
“That is also none of your business.” You move the knife so close to his throat that the slightest movement could make you cut him.
“Were you keeping that knife strapped to your thigh?” Jungkook's voice lowers as he slowly raises his hands in surrender. You choose not to answer him, only stiffening your stance. “Incredibly violent…” Jungkook smiles and his fangs extend slightly, making you feel bewildered at his reaction.
“Why are you smiling?” You poke the tip of the knife against his skin.
“Because I like that you’re beautifully murderous.” Jungkook is suddenly out of your sight, making you whirl around to find him, only to be pressed roughly against the wall, the hand holding the knife anchored above your head.
“Get off of me!” You move to knee him in the groin but he’s too fast. Inhumanly fast.
“I want you to be a part of this, you know. I want you to help us help your people.” His grip tightens slightly the more you move around.
“Why?” You seethe.
“Because you’re the queen. My partner in this life. Why is that so hard for you to understand?” The look on his face is so sincere that it makes you halt your movements.
“Jungkook…this is not a real marriage. Why are you so convinced that it is?” With one last push, he releases you and takes a step back.
“I’ll spend the rest of my days trying to make you see that it is.” Jungkook tells you with a quiet sigh. “But for the time being, please just come inside and listen to what we’re speaking about. You should be a part of it too.”
You feel the tiniest sliver of hatred melt away from your heart. It makes your chest feel lighter, like you can breathe a little easier. You don’t understand it. You don’t understand him. But you can’t deny that you want to know what’s going on in that meeting room.
“Fine. Let’s go.” You rip your eyes away from his face before it becomes too noticeable that you were looking at him at all.
“Do you perhaps want to change first?” Jungkook asks. “The dress has become rather revealing.”
You glare at him before propping your foot up against the wall, exposing your bare leg to him. You slide the kitchen knife back into the homemade holster on your thigh, adjusting it slightly and letting your foot slip back to the ground as you keep direct eye contact with the vampire king.
“No. I think I’ll attend the meeting just as I am.” You can’t help but smirk a little, pointing your nose to the ceiling before making your way into the meeting room. Jungkook laughs quietly in disbelief, but follows you inside.
All the eyes in the room are suddenly on you. One of the men sitting at the table visibly chokes on air as he watches you walk into the room and takes in your appearance.
“I suggest you get yourself together, Seokjin.” Jungkook walks ahead of you to pull out the chair to the left of his for you.
“Apologies, your highness.” The man named Seokjin splutters slightly, then straightens in his chair.
“Were you attacked, my lady?” Yoongi says, his voice low but still holding a bit of concern.
“No…I was…it's nothing. Don’t let my clothing distract you from the discussion.” You move around the table, choosing to ignore the chair Jungkook has pulled out for you, but instead decide to move to his chair at the head of the table and sit down there. “Shall we?” You ask, a smug look on your face.
“Incredible.” You hear Jungkook mumble under his breath, only meaning for you to hear it, but obviously all the other vampire ears in the room do as well, making everyone shift uncomfortably in their seats.
“Does the queen need to be present?” Namjoon remarks from the seat next to Yoongi.
“Yes, she does. And I won’t hear another thing about it.” Jungkook makes his point clear and moves to sit in the chair he had originally pulled out for you.
“Fine then. We need to start preparing for a war with Taehyung. And we also need to consider that in order to avoid it, we should give up the human kingdom. We don’t need it.” Namjoon is very monotone as he speaks about giving up your kingdom to an apparent enemy.
“Absolutely not.” You say without thought.
“No disrespect, your highness, but I was speaking to the king.” Namjoon dismisses you and you can feel anger start to bubble beneath your skin.
“You say that you mean no disrespect, but you’re sitting there suggesting that we turn over my kingdom, full of innocent people, to your enemy.” You lean forward in your seat, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as you look at the king's advisor.
“I’m not sure you understand the ramifications of going to war with Taehyung, your majesty. He is not to be underestimated.” Namjoon leans forward as well, meeting your gaze with a challenge in his eyes.
“Perhaps someone could explain to me who Taehyung is, and how he has become such a threat to the most powerful kingdom in this realm?” You don’t let your gaze fall from Namjoon’s, challenging him right back.
“If you two are finished with your vicious little disagreement you’ve got going, I would be honored to get the queen up to speed on the situation.” Seokjin says from a few chairs down. His voice makes you look away from Namjoon with a scowl on your face.
“Please. Tell me what you know.” You give Seokjin your attention, ignoring the mumbled curses Namjoon says under his breath.
“Taehyung is the king of the werewolf kingdom to our west, your highness. And I…well I know more than most about werewolves as I myself am one of them.” Seokjin looks up at you then, a golden glow flashing across his eyes when they meet yours.
“I’m confused. If you’re one of them, what are you doing here?” Your curiosity is peaked at this very unexpected bit of information.
“Well you see, my lady, I owe my life to your king. Many, many years ago he had mercy on me and I have pledged my loyalty to him until my dying day.” A smile plays at the corner of Seokjin’s mouth as he looks from you to Jungkook, who also shares the same smile of fondness on his face.
“He saved your life?” You ask, enthralled by this story. A vampire saving the life of a werewolf is unheard of, the two of them becoming friends is even more unheard of.
“He did. And now he has me at his side, even if he wishes I wasn’t at times.” He laughs a little and Jungkook’s smile grows wider.
“You’re too humble sometimes, hyung.” Jungkook says, sharing one last fond smile with Seokjin before he looks back at you. “Seokjin is vital to the way this kingdom is able to live and operate on a daily basis. Don’t let him talk lowly of himself.”
You wish their story wasn’t so endearing. That you didn’t feel a pang of something in your heart for the fondness they share for each other. But no matter how hard you try to bite back your smile, it betrays you, pulling your lips up slightly.
“I am happy to meet you, Seokjin.” You say, sharing one more look with him before the moment is interrupted.
“Could we get back to the point?” Namjoon says, obviously annoyed by the friendly conversation. Why was he so frumpy?
“Of course. My apologies.” Seokjin sits back in his chair with a small bow of his head.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a sour puss?” You say to Namjoon, almost causing Yoongi to choke on a laugh.
“My lady, this is not a joke. If you’re insistent on being involved, I beg you to take this seriously.” If Namjoon could blush, you suppose he would be at this point.
“I’m listening.” You roll your eyes a bit and turn to Jungkook, who is watching you with a smirk on his face.
“Taehyung isn’t happy about this…union. He believes your land should be his and we are almost positive he isn’t going to sit back and let it go.” Yoongi takes the initiative to explain this time.
“And for now, as I’ve said before, we double the guard at the border but we don’t engage. I’m not starting a war without reason.” Jungkook speaks now, everybody forwarding their attention to him. “And perhaps we need to set up a meeting with Taehyung.”
“A meeting? What do you hope to come of that, your majesty?” Namjoon looks with disbelief on his face.
“I’m avoiding a war at all costs. I won’t bring unnecessary danger to either of the kingdoms.” Jungkook stands up. “And this discussion is over for now. I’m sure the queen would like to sleep.” You nod, quickly being able to tell that Jungkook is done talking for tonight.
You stand from the table, bowing to the others who stand at the same time as you do to bow deeper in your direction. Jungkook motions for you to walk ahead of him with his hand as you take one last look over your shoulder at the men sitting at the table. More monsters than men…but it was easy to forget such a thing.
“I’m glad you joined us.” Jungkook's voice startles you from your thinking.
“Yes well…I won’t let anything happen to my people. We can’t just throw them to the wolves.” You hope he detects the seriousness in your voice.
“I hope that you can see that isn’t my intention. It never was.” Jungkook walks next to you, his arms crossed behind his back.
“As long as that is clear.” You reach the bottom of the stairs that lead up to your separate bed chambers, stopping on the bottom step and turn to look at Jungkook.
“Loud and clear, my queen.” Jungkook steps up closer and you almost trip over the step trying to create space. “Where is the knife now?”
“It will be in your chest if you do not step away from me.” You growl through your teeth, making Jungkook grin wickedly, fangs appearing under his lip.
“Beautiful and violent. Where have you been all my life, darling?” Jungkook steps up onto the stairs, making you stumble up a few more to get distance.
“You’re some kind of masochist, aren’t you?” You put your hand down onto the handle of the knife. Jungkook throws his head back in laughter. The sound is…certainly not what you expected. He seems so human as he laughs and tries to compose himself.
“Would you like to find out?” He takes one more step up towards you and you’ve had enough.
You lift your bare foot from the wooden stair and press it into the middle of his chest as he stands two steps down from you. You watch Jungkook's eyes as they take in what is happening, roaming over the exposed skin of your legs and thigh.
“Stop flirting with me.” You push slightly against his chest with your foot. “It’s very annoying.”
“Your heart is beating so quick, I’m not sure that you mean that.” Jungkook says in a low tone. The sound of his deep voice tries to pry its way between your thighs, but you won’t let it. “I think you rather like it, actually.”
“You’re not amusing, your highness.” You try to remain unfazed.
“You can’t lie to me. I can hear the blood rushing through your veins…and your breath struggling to even out.” Jungkook tries to take a step up but you push him back down with your foot.
“You’re delusional. Whatever you are hearing is simply because I am fending off a vampire, not because I find that vampire to be maddeningly beautiful.” You wish you had said that differently…surely he will know you’re lying now.
“Why do you fight it?” He questions.
“Fight what?”
“The attraction between us.”
“Because there isn’t any. None. It is nonexistent.” You shove your foot into his chest once more but he doesn’t budge of course.
“Liar.” Jungkook says quietly, you can feel his breath on the skin of your leg. His cool fingers come up to ghost over the skin of your ankle, allowing goosebumps to find home on your skin as your body betrays you even more. “Shall we test your theory?” Fingers continue their featherlight touch up your calf.
“You’re…it’s not affecting me at all.” Your voice shakes slightly as you fight to keep your eyes open.
“More lies, my queen.” When his fingers get to the inside of your thigh, your brain suddenly remembers what’s happening. You kick him in the chest with more force and Jungkook stumbles slightly, giving you a chance to jog up a few more stairs before you speak to him again.
“No more of your unrequited flirting. And especially touching. None of that.” You yell down to him, wishing you could smack the grin on his face.
“As you wish.” He bows to you.
“Goodnight, your highness.” You pull the knife out of your holster and point it towards him as you back your way up the rest of the stairs, making Jungkook laugh out loud again. You don’t look back this time as you dash your way down the hall to your bed chambers where the two guards are still standing. “I’ll be going to bed now.” You huff past them and into the room as quickly as possible.
You press your back against the cool wood of the door, trying to catch the breath you had not realized were holding . He was absolutely infuriating. Ridiculous. Egotistical. And yet… soft and endearing at times. Like when he was speaking to or about Seokjin. It is something you never expected to see.
Looking down at your hand, you see the wedding ring he had given you just a few short hours ago. Shaped like a drop of blood and every bit the color of it. You had forgotten all about it and now you aren’t sure you wanted to take it off. You and this ring have been through a lot already.
Finally, you bring yourself to move towards one of the tall armoires on the other side of the room. Perhaps it’s time to finally change out of your tattered wedding dress.
You look through some drawers until you finally find some silky night shorts and matching camisole. It seems revealing for pajamas, but you also don’t have the energy to keep digging for something else.
With a sigh, you head into the bathroom and make a beeline for that glorious claw foot tub in the corner of the room. You look around and notice the gold crusted faucets at one end of the tub.
Running water. The vampire kingdom had running water for baths. This was not a luxury that you had back in your human kingdom.
“Something decent has come from this.” You mumble to yourself as you turn on the faucets and watch the crystal clear water start to fill the basin of the tub. You grab one of the first glass bottles of soap that you can reach, breathing in its scent and finding it to be lavender. A scent you missed about the gardens in your father’s kingdom. You pour a plentiful amount into the stream of water and watch the bubbles begin to form and you can’t help but smile.
Stripping out of what’s left of your wedding dress, you toss it away and carefully step into the tub. The water is so warm already, instantly loosening your tired muscles and cleanssng your dirty skin. It felt like heaven.
Once the tub has filled you turn off the faucets and sink down into it. You let your head dip beneath the bubbles, letting it washclean your hair and , making it easier to pull the rest of the pins out of it.
It’s quiet in this washroom. Almost too quiet. So you decide not to dawdledauddle for too long, getting yourself cleaned up and grabbing a robe from one of the hanging hooks on the wall.
Making your way back into your bed chambers, you dress into the pajamas you had found earlier and climb into the bed. You feel alone all at once. Too alone with your thoughts.
How would your life play out now that you’re here? Married. To the king of vampires. Jungkook. The blood king.
You want to know more. Need to know more about him and this place.
In order for you to do that, you have to change your sleeping schedule. You need to be awake at night when everyone else is awake.
It took some time for you to get used to but after a couple of weeks you are able to get up and join the vampires during their meetings regarding Taehyung.
You are also able to explore the castle and its grounds more thoroughly. Finding it full of vast libraries and art from different centuries…different worlds it seemed.
Most recently though, you had discovered the gardens. Gardens that had been somewhat neglected by visitors if you were being honest. They were clean and well kept, but they were mostly empty. Not many flowers and things to fill all the spaces in between the manicured bushes and small trees. You wondered if it was because no one could come out during the day to care for them. And the more you thought about it, the sillier it seemed.
You love walking around outside nonetheless. Sitting on the stone benches and watching the fountains. But your urge to do more is constantly bouncing around in your mind.
Tonight, you find yourself changing into a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater. You had decided you were going to start digging around in the gardens, whether it is something a queen should do or not, you didn’t care. It would busy your mind and give you something productive to do.
“Where are you off to?” Hoseok calls behind you as you make your way to the back doors.
“To the gardens. I think I’m going to start digging around. Maybe plant some new things.” You turn to see the bright smile on his face. One of the few bright things here.
“There are groundskeepers for that, you know?” Hoseok teases as he approaches you, taking in your very unqueenly outfit.
“I am aware, Hobi. But I’m bored and I need to find something to occupy my time.” You wave him off with a sigh.
“Do you know where the gardening equipment is?” Hoseok asks, hands moving to his hips as he looks at you expectantly.
“Well…no. But I assume that you do?”
“Perhaps. What’s in it for me?” He continues to tease.
“I’m the queen, you have to tell me if I ask.” Your arms cross over your chest.
“Oh now you want to be the queen? Only when it benefits you, I see.”
“Come on, Hoseok, pleeeeease?” You’re growing tired of his antics.
“Let me use your bathtub twice a week, and I’ll tell you where it is.” He puts his hand out for you to shake.
“As if I would deny you that bathtub.” You laugh a little and shake his hand. “Come on then, to the gardening tools.” You jump onto his back as he turns around to lead the way, making him carry you.
“I don’t remember carrying your spoiled ass around being in my new job description.” Hobi laughs, adjusting you on his back so he can walk with more balance.
“It’s in your best friend job description, check your paperwork.” You place your chin on his shoulder and squeeze your legs tighter around his middle.
“Ridiculous.” He laughs louder, making his way towards the back doors to show you where to find the gardening tools.
Hoseok takes you to a small building outside the castle, inside of which are plenty of gardening tools for you to get started with your plans. He doesn’t stick around though, making his way back to the castle to finally get some sleep. Hobi is having a harder time adjusting to the new sleep schedule than you had.
With your arms full of shovels, rakes, and other tools you may or may not need, you find an area near the fountains that you plan to start with. The dirt in this area seems a bit dry and sad looking, so you think if you dig into the soil, you’ll be able to bring the good dirt to the top.
You spend a few hours tilling the soil and sure enough, it already looks so much better than it did before. And even though autumn is in full swing and you’re working by the light from the moon, you’re still a bit sweaty.
“I think digging your way out of here may be a bigger task than you bargained for.” A now familiar voice says from behind you, making you jump at the sudden sound.
“Will I have to live out the rest of my days here wondering when the next time you’ll give me a heart attack will be?” You place your hand over your hammering heart while Jungkook smiles.
“Apologies, my queen.” Jungkook walks closest to where you’re kneeling on the ground, his hands behind his back. “What is it that you’re doing exactly?”
“I’m gardening. Is that not obvious?” You sit the small shovel down and wipe your hands off on your thighs.
“Yes. But why?” He asks curiously.
“Something to do? A hobby? I’m tired of wandering around this castle like a ghost.” You look up at him when he comes to stand next to you. “Is that something I’m allowed to do, your highness?”
“You’re rather snarky for a queen.” Jungkook smiles again, the sharp points of his fangs showing behind his lips.
“I have been called much worse.” You huff, standing up from the ground, wobbling slightly from being in that position a bit too long.
Jungkook is inhumanly fast, gently steadying you on your feet. One hand on your hip and the other on your shoulder. His skin is so cold it sends a shiver through you, goosebumps covering your warm skin.
“So long as you’re here, no one will dare to call you anything less than you deserve.” His eyes are almost black as they meet yours. “Are you okay to stand?”
You shake away the trance you feel when you look at him, stepping back slightly and out of his hold.
“Yes, I’m fine.” You awkwardly stumble over the shovel on the ground, righting yourself before Jungkook has a chance to try and help you again. “Thank you.”
“Shall I help you with this?” He asks, bending to pick up one of the rakes.
“Oh…that’s not necessary, I can manage.”
“I’m well aware that you can manage. But would you like some help…and some company?”Jungkook almost looks shy as he asks. “I think it would be good for us to spend more time together.”
You aren’t sure what to say. Part of you despises the thought of spending time with him. But a bigger part tells you that you long to know him more. To hear his infuriating tone when he teases you.
“Fine. But you start over there, and don’t crowd me.” You point towards an area a few feet from the one you had been working on. Jungkook laughs quietly.
“As you wish, my queen.” He bows at the waist and makes his way over.
“I’ve asked you several times to stop calling me that.” You sigh, pushing some hair away from your face before you continue tilling the soil.
“Why does it bother you so much?” Jungkook gets down to his knees, the brown slacks he is wearing meeting the dirt.
“I am not a vampire, Jungkook. Being the Blood Queen seems like I’m pretending to be something that I’m not.” It bothers you. All those vows that you took about protecting each other are just lies.
“You don’t need to be a vampire to be the queen here. No matter what you hear or what you think, you only need to try and understand.” Jungkook’s quick hands are making much faster work of things than yours ever could.
“Understand what?” You ask.
“Will you let me show you some time? It will be much easier to show than to try and explain it in so many words.”
You don’t understand what he means, but the look on his face tells you that he’s sincere in what he says. And even though you should probably say no, you’re too curious not to indulge him.
“Okay.” You simply state. Jungkook smiles softly and continues his digging.
Another week passes, and Jungkook joins you out in the gardens every night. He brings you new tools to use and lists from the florists in the kingdom so that you can pick out flowers to plant wherever you please. You choose as many as you can find that grow at night, because though they carry all the usual things that flourish in the day time, you know you won’t get to enjoy them as much as you will the ones who bloom at night.
You spend hours in the many libraries within the castle researching the plants and what they need to live well at night. Jungkook joins you there often, following you through the stacks of books and listening to you babble on and on about the flowers.
As much as you wish you didn't enjoy his company, as much as you don’t want to be fond of the sound of his voice, you are very much beginning to.
“_____?” Jungkook says quietly, closing the book that you’re holding in your hands. He doesn’t call you by your first name often, it’s a strange feeling that follows it.
“What is it?” You slide the book back onto the shelf in front of you, turning your attention to him.
“Would you please do me the honor of accompanying me into the kingdom tomorrow night?” His hands are behind his back as he speaks, stepping closer to where you’re standing.
“May I ask why?” You try to pretend his close proximity does not affect you. Jungkook is still a vampire after all.
“I told you I would help you to understand why being human does not mean you cannot be the queen here.” Jungkook brings a hand from behind his back and reaches out gently, brushing your fingertips with his.
“What are you going to show me, Jungkook?” You slowly pull your hand back from his touch, making him smirk at your stubbornness.
“Everything, darling.”
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feralforfrank · a month ago
summary: it's volleyball saturday, and you desperately need to relax and forget about rooster. but he has other plans, which end up with you sharing more than you should.
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pairing: bradley "rooster" bradshaw x fem!reader
warnings: MORE ANGST AHAHAHA, reader being really sad, rooster almost saying the s-word to reader...ALSO, me using that one amy march quote bc i love it (idk if anyone will notice it lol). TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING.
category: enemies to lovers (and everything that comes with it; angst, fluff, etc.)
a/n: WAKE UP PART TWO IS POSTED!!! i managed to write 2,1k words...be proud, ive never done this before. i dont like this part as much as the first one, but a LOT of people wanted me to do a part two so here you go!!!
When you returned to base, your movements were quicker than in the air. You brushed your hair and teeth, changed into a sweatshirt and ducked under the covers. You were probably the only young person on this base, for all your fellow pilots were getting drunk on the Hard Deck or some other bar.
The tears fell as soon as your head hit the pillow. Fuck him, fuck her, fuck everyone! You couldn't believe you would ever sob over Bradley Bradshaw, but here you were, under your blanket, wiping your snot and tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.
You knew you'd eventually have to bounce back. Rooster was never yours, to begin with. There was no reason to be crying over someone who had done nothing but absolutely hate and offend you. You shouldn't let a man affect your job or your life. Especially a Navy man. You could find a hundred more like him.
But you didn't want a hundred more Bradley Bradshaws. You wanted the original, the man who, despite making fun of your piloting abilities, was good company when he wanted to. The amusing, talented, tall man with the pornstache you'd tried to shave once while he was napping.
Is he even thinking about me right now? Probably not. He has that pretty girl hanging off his arm, laughing at his jokes, stroking his arm and looking flawless. They're likely by the pool table—Rooster's beating Hangman at a game, and she's cheering for him, handing him his bear every time he scores.
The detailed thought of him, her and your friends makes your heart clench painfully. Tomorrow's Volleyball Saturday, but you don't have the energy or desire to play. You promised Phoenix and Halo to be there so you have to go, but if Rooster brings his new girlfriend, you'll have to bail. You can't stand to see them together again.
Your skull throbs and your eyes burn with new unshed tears. You bet Maria looks striking in a bikini, skin glowing, no stretch marks, and a perfectly flat stomach. She's the perfect girl for him.
God, you need to stop. You need to stop thinking about her. And him—especially him—or you will lose your fucking mind.
You shut your eyes, waiting for a dreamless sleep to consume you. Today has been wild, and fuck Rooster Bradshaw for ruining a perfect evening.
You shut your car door after grabbing the cooler stuffed with beers and your bag, wiping the sweat off the top of your brow. You start to make your way down to the beach when you hear a voice call you from behind you.
Jake's walking toward you with a cocky smirk, but today, you don't find the energy to muster up a comment to mock him. You only smile and wait for him. He's holding his own cooler, probably filled to the brim with beers, just like yours.
"You look like shit," is the first thing he says.
You snort. If only you knew, Seresin. "Thanks, you too!"
"Are you ready to get your ass kicked today?" You actually laugh at that.
"In your dreams, Hangman. I'm the best player there is. Just admit your loss already."
It's his turn to laugh. "I thought you liked seeing us naked—' specially me. I've seen the heart eyes you throw my way, Swift."
Seresin wiggles his eyebrows in suggestion, and neither can stop your laughing as you descend down the beach. It felt good to laugh and forget about your current problem—who was a few feet away—for a second.
Once you put your things down, you look toward your friends. They are around the net, likely discussing who'll be on whose team. Hangman is taking his shirt off right next to you, but you pretend not to notice, even though your cheeks burn. Damn every single Navy guy for having such great bodies.
Your eyes look for Rooster subconsciously. Since they're all huddled together, it's hard to spot him at first. But once you find him, you can't look away. He ditched the Hawaiian shirt today, but he's wearing swim trunks and aviators. His skin is shining from the angle the sun hits him, and you nearly drool.
Too bad he's not yours. You sigh at the thought and look away. Your mind could be such a cruel place sometimes. Especially when thinking about Bradley.
"Okay, I'm ready. Are we going or what?" You heard Jake ask.
"Oh no, I'm not playing today, Seresin. I'll gladly sit back and enjoy the show, though."
His smile slightly faltered. "Sure, whatever you want. I'm not going to be the one getting my ass beat by Nix for missing out."
You laughed. "Don't look at my abs too long. Rooster will get jealous!"
And without further explaining, Hangman was running towards the squadron, leaving you with your mouth hung open in shock and cheeks bright red.
You sat down on a beach chair, somewhat focusing on their game. Sure, shirtless and sweaty Navy pilots were a magnificent sight, but Jake's words lingered.
Did he know you liked Rooster? Not a chance since the only person who knew was Nix. So why had he said that? Had Rooster said something to him? Or did he set this up—another cruel move, as if yesterday wasn't enough?
With your head between your tucked on your resting elbows, you let your racing thoughts run around and wreak havoc in your already exhausted brain—occasionally cheering. They consisted of Bradley and your job, the Navy in general, and your friends, Bradley. You hadn't noticed someone sitting next to you until they were speaking.
"Are you okay there, sweetheart?" God, you hated that fucking nickname. And he knew it.
You exhale and look to your left. Rooster's sitting on the chair five feet away from you, and you muster up the courage to look him in the eyes.
"Why do you care, Bradshaw?"
Your tone is harsh, but your heart warms that he cares to know what's bothering you.
"Well, the game's just not the same without your annoying screeches of joy when you score a point. Plus, Nix told me to check up on you." Oh, so he came because he had to.
"You can go. I don't need a babysitter."
"Why so rude, Swift? Someone hurt you?" The sentiment behind that sentence is hidden almost too perfectly. But you notice how his eyes soften, and his frown is deeper. You want to slap yourself for thinking that he cares.
"Maybe someone did. Will you please just leave me alone now?"
You've turned your head away from him now. Flashes of last night burn in front of your eyes, and you feel them brim with tears. Rooster can't see this. He can't see you crying.
"You know what? I came here to apologise. I know we're like-like sworn enemies, but I saw how...How pissed off you looked," yeah pissed off would be an understatement, "when I kissed Maria. I lead her on just to get on your nerves, but I shouldn't have pushed it that far—"
"Doesn't sound like a me problem, Rooster. I'm not Maria." You cut him off and get up, not wanting to hear him speak about this again. But of course, he does.
"I shouldn't have pulled that stunt, but you shouldn't have done that whole thing with Jake!" He's angry, you notice.
"What fucking stunt, Rooster? We're not a couple, for fuck's sake! As you said, we're enemies, and I can do whatever I want," you speak as you move your bears from your mini-fridge to another half-empty cooler.
You try so hard not to let your lips quiver. The words coming out of your mouth hurt because you wish they were true. You wish he'd see that there's no other man but him, that you don't want to be his rival anymore. Instead, here you are, fighting.
You place your phone in the back pocket of your shorts and grab the cooler, wanting nothing but to leave this conversation. Your destination was your car—so you could put the freezer in it. But Rooster had other plans.
"Didn't seem like it when you left the bar crying yesterday. All that because I kissed another girl. You hate me, my ass!"
You roll your eyes and continue walking, ignoring his loud footsteps behind you. This day was supposed to be relaxing, but he was annoying you with his walking, talking, and looking handsome. Handsome—what in the hell am I thinking?
"What cat got your tongue, sweetheart?" You pay him no mind, having reached your car now. This'll be over as soon as you get back to the beach.
"Leave me alone, Rooster," you mutter, your eyes never finding his.
"No, see. You always try to get on my nerves, but this shit? You and Seresin? That's going a step too far, honeybun. You know I dislike him more than I do you, yet you still flirted with him like some kind of slu—" What?
"No," your voice shakes as you finally meet his eyes. "Bradley, you're being mean. Stop it. You can't yell at me about Seresin when I've had to watch you flirt with a hundred other girls. I've liked you since the Academy—before you knew I existed. I won't have you hurt me with your words anymore, not when I've spent so much time trying to find a way for you to like me back."
There's silence. And for a second, your chest feels lighter than it has in weeks. The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them, and you're glad—until you're not. Bradley's looking at you, frozen in his place, his eyes unblinking. Suddenly, you wished you hadn't spoken. The very much spoken line of hatred that connected you two is now severed, and you fear that you've lost him forever.
"You-You don't have to say you like me back or anything. But you needed to know this because the weight was getting too heavy, and I couldn't bear to hold it anymore." You inhale, blinking back tears and forcing sobs down your throat.
"The only reason I approached Jake in the first place was because of you and Maria. She made me so jealous—a kind of jealousy that was so soul-sucking and toxic. Her touching you made me so insecure about my own body because what does she have that I don't? Calling Hangman over me was a petty way of gaining your attention—something I've dreamed of for so long. So, my mind's response was to do something teenage-like to hurt your feelings—even though I knew you wouldn't care that much."
He stays there still, and you take a moment to look at him—really look at him. His eyes are looking at your face, but they're in a faraway place. Someone would say he's not listening, but you know he is. If Bradley wants to ignore someone, he walks away—he never zones out—so yeah, he's listening. glisten
His skin glistens with sweat from the game, and his aviators are lower than they're supposed to be on the bridge of his nose. His hair is messy, and you can see the spots on his cheeks where the sun burned him most.
A few seconds pass, but he's still frozen, and you scoff. You scoff to hide the pain of the rejection you just took. You told him he didn't need to say anything back. So, he can stay as quiet as he wants. But you're leaving. You walk around him, speed-walking to the beach to get your stuff. You don't dare look back.
This is the second time you're leaving because of him. The squadron is busy cheering, so they don't notice how you slip out with a few stray tears rolling down your cheeks.
Rooster's not in front of the car when you arrive. Good, you didn't want to see him after that very embarrassing and emotional moment. He's going to be okay—he's a big boy. You, on the other hand, are on the verge of falling apart. Things changed as soon as you spilt your heart out to him.
You sigh and shut the car door, your fingers turning the key in the ignition. Training is going to be so weird on Monday. Thank fuck for Sunday because you need to gather your thoughts and emotions.
You make a mental note to do your laundry before heading to bed, so you won't have to do it when your friends return, and there's a chance of bumping onto Rooster. 
You just need a break away from him to forget about the whole...beach disaster.
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minniepetals · 13 days ago
cry me a river | the cruel and the fool
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— summary: nothing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough
— pairing: bts x reader
— genre: angst, mafia!au
— word count: 8.8k
— warnings: a brief moment y/n almost has her ptsd triggered — brief mention of leehyun, toxic thoughts/acts [[ to anyone who might be afraid/cautious of reading this chapter, to be honest i don't think this chapter is too bad as compared to a few previous chapters, namjoon doesn't actively trigger y/n's ptsd of leehyun, but if you don't wish to read this chapter (or any other chapters for reasons), you can always send me an ask and i will gladly explain what's going on in hopes of not wanting to miss anything ]]
— PART 15 / previous post / masterpost
You look up with a startle, taking in a sharp intake that forces you to flinch, and when you turn around at the familiar calling of your name, you have to take a moment to compose yourself so that you don’t instinctively take a step back at the man before you.
Mingyu stands steady on his feet and you almost crumble at the fact that he called you Y/N and not boss because boss means you’re okay, you’re fine, you can take everything that’s coming at you, you can control it, control everything. But Y/N means you can’t. You’re not fine, you’re falling into disorder and you’re ruining yourself.
Y/N means you’re losing control. 
As if he understands just how much the effect of his word has caused you, Mingyu steps up from where he stood, keeping a good distance between the two of you and you hate the fact that today he hesitates to come to you.
There are days when you feel guilty for scaring them, for forcing them to abide by all that you are, to accommodate your needs, and forcing their way of thinking to quickly act just because you’re weak and you can’t do anything by yourself. There are days when you hate yourself more than you do on normal days, when you can see it in your Reapers’ expressions just how concerned they are.
They never look at you as if you are a monster, as if you’re some insignificant robot built up by your father in the same way everyone looks at you. They don’t look at you as if you’re just a puppet who holds no feelings, as if anyone and everyone can do anything and everything to you and you won’t hurt.
They know you hurt.
They know you hurt more than anyone.
Even in this room in a building filled with people who only want what’s best for you, you feel yourself trembling as you hold everything in, unable to scream, to cry for help, because all your life you’ve been shown that calling out gives you nothing in return. Even as you know your Reapers would never do such a thing to you, even as you know more than anyone that they’d come to you in a split second were you to utter the simple whisper of “help,” you don’t dare to.
You’re scared.
So you tremble as you hold in the cry, falling completely silent, and it breaks you to do so.
“Y/N.” Mingyu calls again with a little more warmth, with a bit more comfort, and filled with a little less anxiety and fear. He calls you softly, a gentle expression plastered on his face when you look up with another startle, the serene on his features shocking you a bit.
He calls your name with care and if you knew how to cry, perhaps you’d be bawling your eyes out like a newborn baby, letting your tears out uncontrollably without a care in the world because you know there will be people who will do all that they can to ease your heart once again.
He calls you with such a tender gentleness it reminds you of the way Mister Butler used to call for you, the way Hoseok called for you.
Mingyu, Mister Butler, and Hoseok, all three different souls built in the same egg; the shell, the egg white, and the yolk.
Mister Butler was your protection, the very one who kept your innocence safe, the very one who held onto your hopes and dreams, keeping them safe in the warmth of his arms. When he left, you lost all of that; your innocence, hopes, and dreams. Years later Hoseok took his place, providing you with love. He gave you the happiness you sought for when you were with Mister Butler, a promise the two of you made with the linking of your pinkies. Mister Butler was the first to break his promise and you broke it soon after, leaving Hoseok who kept your love in the warmth of his arms, losing your love and happiness.
Then came Mingyu walking into the picture. You aren’t sure how it happened, when you began seeking out for the warmth of his arms, but perhaps it was always there, like how it was just meant to be in the same way it was natural to rely on Mister Butler and Hoseok’s warmth.
When he sees you shaking uncontrollably but keeping your silence and peace, Mingyu simply opens his arms as if saying; “It’s okay. You can come to me when you’re scared. I know you’re scared.”
And it reminds you of the way you used to go to Hoseok. He was always the first person you sought out whenever something frightful had shaken your core and you couldn’t handle things by yourself. It was always Hoseok.
When you let yourself go to Mingyu, when he engulfs you in his arms and when you lean into his chest, ears pressed against the resounding beat of his heart, you allow your mind to rest as you let your eyes flutter closed, legs giving in as he holds you on the floor in the middle of the living room.
This is your foundation. Your calm, your control.
This is your Mingyu.
When it finally comes to the day he leaves your life, you wonder how that will be. Will he leave you in the same way Mister Butler left you? Or will you leave him in the same way you left Hoseok? Both of them were out of your control, and both of them you were forced to cut ties with. You wonder if one day Mingyu will grow tired of you or if one day his loyalty will take him too far and he’ll die for you.
You don’t want him to leave. Not now, not ever.
If he leaves, who will you have? He’s your last one, the very person who’s holding onto your breaking pieces so you don’t completely crumble. Mister Butler was your protection, Hoseok was your love, and Mingyu is your foundation.
You don’t want to lose another one, another solace. You don’t want to lose your last one. Because you know after Mingyu, there will be no one left to take care of you in the way the three of them had. If you lose him you think it’ll probably be the last of your control. If you lose your Reapers, you know you won’t ever be able to pick yourself up again.
They can’t save you in the same way you’ve saved them but still, you’ve come to rely on them in more than one way. They’re the only ones keeping you afloat in this deep, deep sea. The only ones keeping your broken pieces together.
“Something’s wrong,” you whisper into the silence after a long, long time. “...I can feel it. There’s another storm coming, Mingyu.” You’re limp against his chest, body unable to keep its strength up just like all those other times when you lay against him. Perhaps you’re hurting him with your weight, perhaps his body’s cramping up in some ways but Mingyu doesn’t dare move. “I don’t want it to come.”
He knows you’re scared, he can feel it.
“What would you like us to do?” He asks, softly, in order to keep you sane, to have control over your situation in just the slightest bit when it feels like everything is falling apart. He lets you regain control for a moment, just like the building foundation that he is.
“...Stay,” you say. “Just…stay.”
And so he remains there for another hour longer to help you breathe a little easier, to help ease your heart, to calm the storm that had risen against your chest. It is only when Yeonjun comes in do you finally separate.
“I have your tea ready, boss,” he says when he walks in.
You’re weak and unable to walk on your own, body barely even able to step away from Mingyu so the two of them help you get off him. Yeonjun takes over the base, becoming the stepping stool that you need. He takes you in his arms while you make no protest, head turned to lay against him like a rag doll who holds no strength left in her body.
And when the young genius takes you out the door on his own, Dasom emerges to have a look into the living room, her face blank as she takes in the figure who remains seated on the floor, eyes looking lost in thoughts.
“Is your heartbeat that calming?” She asks into the silence, breaking Mingyu out of his daze as he looks up with a calm expression. “Boss always calms down the second she hears your heartbeat. Makes me wonder if you ever have moments when you aren’t calm and your anxiety takes precedence.”
He chuckles lightly, a rueful smile curling along his lips. “If I ever let the situations get the best of me, I’d lose my role as her foundation, and then what would happen? Have her suffer even more without being allowed a moment of calm?” He looks at her with furrowed brows, hand balling into a fist. “If I ever allow myself to become weak, I’d hurt her and that’s the one thing we cannot ever allow to happen. Y/N needs her moment of peace. Even if that moment lasts for just one second, if I can’t be her calm among the storm…she’d break.”
“But then what about you?” Dasom asks, her features marked with concern for someone else other than you, and Mingyu realizes it’s probably the first time she’s ever allowing her worries to show so openly.
“It doesn’t matter.” He picks himself off from the floor, averting his gaze as if avoiding his emotions. “As long as I’m alive, I live as her foundation. If I can’t do my job well, there’s no point in any of this.” As he walks by to leave, Mingyu takes a moment to pause beside her, putting a hand on the blade of her shoulder. “Even if we can’t save her, we can still give her room to breathe. If I ever rip that calm away from her…I’d never be able to live with myself.”
He walks away before Dasom can say anything else.
A blue vintage corset with a pretty white skirt that flows all the way to your ankles, accompanied by a matching blazer draped over your shoulders while your hair stays up by a white claw clip, you walk down the hall of the art museum all on your own, paying close attention to every painting presented on the wall at each of your sides.
You keep your eyes keen and open with arms crossed against your chest while your heels click from underneath you. All the guests in the building are common innocents who’re here simply for their own pleasures. You’re here for a different reason.
Your heels stop clicking at the call of the hesitant voice behind you, already falling on your guard, and when you slowly turn around at the person, you find a young man you aren’t too familiar with.
“I apologize, you looked vaguely famil…” Your eyes narrow his way as he trails off as if trying to put an image to his memories, just before something in him clicks when his eyes widen. “Are you..the Reaper?” You keep your expression unreadable, remaining blank, and when it looks like you won’t answer his question, he goes to speak some more. “The scythe earrings,” he says, pointing at the silver dangles on each of your ears, “you..killed my uncle.”
“So what? Looking for a chance to kill me now, are you?”
“No!” He quickly says and you fix your gaze towards the side at his sudden outburst, knowing the bystanders have just heard and have been alerted. Upon that, the man clears his throat awkwardly before continuing in a lower tone. “I just meant…I know my uncle was a bad man.”
“...Do you?” As you say that, a familiar figure catches the corner of your eyes and when you go on to focus your attention a bit more on them from behind the stranger’s shoulder, you feel your expression falling when you realize it’s Namjoon and Jimin.
If Namjoon and Jimin are here, the others shouldn’t be too far away. And that only means trouble.
You’re on your feet again, taking a turn opposite of where they are as you continue on your walk.
“It’s best to not associate yourself with me. If you offend me whether on accident or on purpose, I will rid of you without hesitation.”
“W-wait! I just..-” He runs to catch up to your pace, frantic looking. 
You stare at him up and down before sighing. “You’re wasting my time. Seeing as the insignificant man I killed is your uncle, I implore you to heed my advice and not show your face to me ever again. I do hate to be reminded of the memories of the past. They don’t serve well for the future.”
“I apologize, it’s just…I’m glad to have seen you in person, Miss Y/N. The rumors do you no justice, you’re more beautiful than they imply.” You don’t like the smile he shows you. “If you could be so kind, I would love to invite you to—”
“I told you, sir, I do not like to be reminded of the past.” You turn your face from him, walking sped up this time but he remains stubborn.
“I understand.” He doesn’t if he keeps following you insistently. “Being in the same room with you alone is a blessing, I’ll be sure to watch you from afar if fate ever allows us the moment again.” What a creep. “Ah, but what’re you doing here at an art museum? Are you here for your next target? Who is it?”
“It’ll be you if you don’t stop bothering me.”
He laughs as if you just said a joke. “My extended family would certainly have a heart attack if that were to happen, being as you’ve already gone and rid of my uncle. But truth be told, I’d be lucky to have the new Reaper kill me by her own hands.”
“Would you?”
“Of course! To have your beautiful hands—”
You stop in track all of a sudden, putting a hand up to have him freeze in place when he tries to reach out for you. “Sir.” Your voice drops deep, a frosty chill walking in as you stare him down from the side eyes. “If you really don’t wish to lose your life over some petty incident, I advise you to leave me now before you really make me angry. I’d hate making a scene in front of innocents but if you lay even the slightest touch on me, I’d do the same I did to your uncle and perhaps even worst.”
“...” He falls silent at your words and just as you think he’s finally done and realize the truth behind your threat, he speaks again as you’re about to walk away. “Who knew such a lady with refined beauty could get angry so easily.” He scoffs lightly, mocking you as his mask falls away. “You may be beautiful but your heart needs to be worked on. I bet my uncle didn’t even do much to have him face your wrath.”
“What your uncle did to me is none of your concern.”
“You must have killed your father for the same purpose, huh? I heard he cared for you quite deeply yet you returned his kindness by killing him. What a spoiled little brat.”
They don’t know your story and they never will, but that doesn’t phase you one bit because everyone is just like him; dumb and stupid, always believing the other side of the story without truly looking into things. Not that you care, they can think however they’d like, it doesn’t concern you.
You’re still going to kill the ones that did you wrong.
You ignore the man’s comment to keep walking, not wanting to stop this time no matter what but when you feel his presence once more with the way he comes at you at an alarming pace, you grab the white silk that was wrapped around your waist and played as a belt for your skirt, untangling the decorated bow and in a swift manner, you wrap the silk a few times around the man’s wrists, forcing it behind him in a rushed and assertive act that has him quick to scream at the pain.
You can feel a light tremble in your hands, the PTSD from Leehyun still here, so you make sure you aren’t touching him in the slightest, and when his scream alarms the people around you, you keep your cool as you stare down at the man, strengthening the tight grip of the silk with no mercy.
“You’re all the same. This is why I hate men.”
You sigh inwardly to yourself upon attracting the attention of Namjoon and Jimin and clench your jaw at the onlookers showing concern and worry. 
“Are you alright ma’am?”
“Was he bothering you?”
“Should we call security?”
You look up at the civilians who watches on with brows knitted on their features, your keen eyes taking in each of their expression. Calling in security now will only anger this man further and you can’t have their faces falling recognizable to him in case he holds any grudges. You know not to involve people and ruin their lives when they haven’t done anything wrong to you but the sight of the man who dared to try to lay a finger on you even after you’ve warned him otherwise makes you tremble with uncontrolled anger.
You told him you hate to be reminded of the past but he ignored your words and now you’re left here remembering Hwang Leehyun and his despicable touches that suddenly surfaces as if all they’ve been doing nothing but hiding under your skin, waiting to be revealed each time your memories resurfaces.
You hate it, you hate it, you hate it.
You want to kill this man.
“I’ll deal with him.” Namjoon’s commanding voice brings you back to the present for a second, just a split second. But still that second saves you for a moment because that second allows you to fall distracted, eyes flicking over to him sharply, and you watch when Yoongi and Jungkook, who you didn’t realize had also come over, take the man off you.
It saves you from having to be cautious in letting him touch you, allows you to breathe, to stand back up straight, to hide your hands behind your back.
That’s right. You’re calm, you’re calm. Nothing fazes you, you’re fine, everything’s fine. He didn’t touch you, he didn’t even graze you in the slightest. You’re fine and no one has to get hurt.
No one has to die. Not today.
You turn towards the crowd, feigning a small smile as you lower your head slightly at them. “Thank you for your concern, please return to your business. I apologize for the public disturbance.”
And without waiting for them to make their moves, you turn, following Namjoon away from the scene.
It’s silent for the longest time until you’re brought to the back of the building where it’s secluded and the sun is already setting. Yoongi and Jungkook keeps the man held against his will with Jimin following along, and Namjoon looks at you for a moment before he addresses you.
You should have known he’d visit this art museum. Namjoon enjoys looking at art during his pastimes, especially during times when things are rougher and he needs his moments of peace.
“How would you like to deal with him?” He asks, noting at the way you keep your hands held behind your back while keeping your distance. It seems you’re still cautious of being touched.
You look away from the man who had offended you, brows knitted as you stare at the horizon where the sun is slowly setting. “It’s fine,” you say, “looking at him a moment longer will only cause my blood to boil.”
You’re still dealing with the aftermath of your last endeavors, they can tell, that’s why Namjoon remained silent about the profound revelation he found. Although he may be angry with questions waiting to be demanded out of you, he kept his emotions at bay after seeing it physically in front of him just how hard the last event had hit you.
Still, he can feel his patience quickly slipping away now that he’s bathed in your presence. You still seem weak, not your usual aloof self who was always so great at hiding your true self slip past anyone, and although others may not realize it, he’s able to see through you in some of the slightest ways, letting him know that you’ve indeed taken a great hit from Leehyun.
His body may have burned away but the memories will always remain.
Namjoon understands how that feels.
“Leave him be then,” he tells the two before looking at you again, “I’m sure you’ll deal with him if you’d like in the future. I won’t interfere.”
You give him a nod and the three of them leaves with the man in toll, leaving you alone with Namjoon.
Silence fills once more, leaving you with the same uncomfortable feeling you’ve felt for the past few days. A storm is brewing and slowly but surely, you can feel the match beginning to ignite. Perhaps he has something to say to you, perhaps he realized something, or perhaps it’s something else, but either way you see that Namjoon isn’t speaking up even though it looks like he’s hiding something from you.
You turn on your heels, not wanting to stall this moment any longer. If he wishes to say something, whether that’s about what happened at the Hwang’s manor or something else, he can say it at another time. Right now you just want to return home and take your anger out in the training field.
“Jungwon.” You pause in your steps upon the name that slips from Namjoon’s mouth, his first word taking you by unexpected surprise. “He’s dead…isn’t he?”
There’s a hint of wrath in his voice, a hint of fear, a hint of unease and terror, accompanied by anxious thoughts that run through his mind and as you stand there still under the lights that have flickered on upon the sun now dimming the city, you don’t give him an answer.
But that in itself is an answer and you hear him scoff.
It’s filled with disbelief and disappointment.
“To think you’d lie to me and use someone I love against me.”
You turn around at those words, making sure to keep a level head. Despite the fact that he found out the truth about your schemes, you always told yourself to be prepared for moments like this. Namjoon would have found out one way or another. After all, he wanted the truth on where his brother was, and eventually, you would have either had to relay to him the news of his death or he’d find out on his own.
You just never expected he’d find out this soon. You thought you had more time.
“I didn’t lie to you, Namjoon, I just withheld the truth.”
Namjoon laughs at those words, the amusement dead and filled with nothing but pure ire. “And what? You think that’s any better? You know just how much my brother means to me.” You see the other three returning from where you stand, see the way the rest of them have come along as well and it almost feels as if you’re cornered. You can’t run, you have to face Namjoon’s wrath and their disappointment but you expected this. You expected to be hated by them and you prepared yourself not to care, to let them go when the time came. They left you, you’re free to leave them in the dust as well. “You were my wife and I trusted you with my vulnerability. I shared a part of myself I’d never share with anyone else and this is how you’re going to act in turn? By using information on my brother against me?”
You know what you’re about to say is toxic, that you shouldn’t turn this against him but after what happened with Leehyun, you can only feel your patience and mask slipping away as the day passes so you don’t care to hold your tongue this time.
“I could say the same thing about you, Namjoon. I trusted you with my heart and guess what happened in the end? You took it right out, ripped it to shreds, and threw it onto the ground without a care in the world.” The new scars on your body, the gash on your leg, they all still hurt in many ways and you hate the fact that they saw you in that vulnerable state.
“This is my brother we’re talking about.”
“And what? My feelings never meant anything to you?” You ask, challenging him. “You have to admit what you did to me was wrong and even after all these years, you’re acting as if nothing happened. I hate it most when people feign ignorance and pretend all is well without wanting to face the horrid part of things.” You take a sharp look at the others, making sure they know as well. “From the very beginning, I was on the losing end. I was made a pawn in the game you took part in, all just for the sake of power, and then you proceeded to toss me aside once you no longer needed me. Isn’t it only fair I do the same thing to you?”
“That doesn’t make it right for you to have used my brother against me,” he retorts with the same fire burning in your eyes. “You acted as if the butler who served you was someone you cared deeply for but in the end, everyone’s just a pawn for you to use at your disposal, huh?”
“Then you and I are similar in that aspect. You are not innocent, Kim Namjoon. Did you really think after all these years I’d remain that same soft-hearted girl I was then?” You chuckle bitterly at the thought. “She would never forgive the person that I am now but she’s gone, Namjoon, she’s dead, so she cannot stop me from using you in the way I wish to. If I want to use your brother against you, I’ll use your brother against you. The butler I grew up with was a butler who served me well, but he was foolish thinking he could have gotten out of that manor safe and secure without troubles along the way. Your father was the one who led him to the Reaper’s manor but when his mission grew completed, he hesitated upon leaving. Do you wanna know why?” You stare him dead in the eyes without blinking in the slightest way.
“It was because of me,” you say, unfaltering. “He stayed because of me. And guess what happened in the end? I killed him.”
“This is all your fault,” your father whispers into your ear. “He’s dead because of you.”
The trembling and terrified little girl then no longer shakes when she looks into the eyes of Kim Namjoon, the little brother of the very first man who ever loved you and the very first man whom you loved gently in turn.
Mister Butler was a man who always smiled your way no matter how rough the circumstances were. He was always there for you, the only one who held his arms out when you stood on the side, holding your tears in upon the rejection from your mother and father, the only one who allowed you to cry without scolding you, without scoffing or walking away. He was the only man who cared for you in the Reaper’s manor, providing you the fatherly protection you always needed from the very beginning.
He was your father, your brother, your friend, and the companion you sought the existence of. He was your soulmate, the very first one.
And when he left, your world fell apart. 
Nothing was right from the very beginning but he made it seem as if that in itself was okay because he was there and whenever he was there, everything turned out to be okay at the end of the day. You could go to your mother, get rejected and ridiculed, but turn to your butler and he’d sing you praises after praises. You could look up at your father with those wide and innocent eyes, the eyes of a child seeking the slightest attention they could receive from a busy and distant father, and even after he ignored you for the hundredth time, you could turn to your butler and he’d give you the attention you crave a hundred times more.
“I hope Mister finds your happiness someday.”
“And I hope the miss finds her happiness as well.”
You both broke your promise; his was forcibly ripped away from him and you no longer seek to find the pleasures in life.
You see the way Namjoon’s brows furrow slightly more, his chin protruding in the way it does when he’s angry, but you can tell there’s some suspicion leveled your way upon your words so you decide to drive him more mad.
He can hate you all he wants. You want him to hate you. He has to hate you and see you as nothing but a cruel and selfish monster.
You’re a monster.
“The day of the incident, I watched him with my very own eyes as life slipped away from him. His eyes were lifeless, dead, a corpse. In the same way I killed my mother and father, I killed your brother as well. The man who cared so much for me died at my very own hands. His death was all..my...fault.”
You drag out the words, speaking the last remaining three words carefully and slowly as if to try and purposely antagonize him.
It works.
Because you see the way Namjoon’s eyes brighten with red, how it shakes, how his lips tremble slightly, how it takes him a moment before he tries to get the words out of his throat. “...What?”
Hoseok watches you with brows slightly knitted in between, his mouth open but unable to utter anything out and you hate the way he looks disappointed, as if everything that he’s ever known about you is slowly slipping away and the mirror has slowly but surely shattered.
It’s okay though, you want this. You want him to hate you, to finally show anger and disappointment and think all ill thoughts of you with no rainbows or sunshine left in between. If Hoseok thinks nothing but love and still cares for the person he let slip from his grasp, it will only hurt the two of you in the end. 
Because you are incapable of loving, you have to make him hate you.
And if that means making him hate you through your hatred for Namjoon, then you’ll use that to your advantage. No one knows of Mister Butler anyways, and the ones who did have all died and left to burn to tell your tales. No one knows how much you loved that man, how you cried so hard the day your father killed him mercilessly. Though you may not remember clearly of the incident itself, you will never forget how much it hurt losing him and in turn, being blamed and made the villain of his story when all you ever wanted was nothing but his happiness.
Father turned everything onto you. Everything was your fault. You killed your beloved butler who showed nothing but love and care towards you. You were the fool who killed your father, your brother, your friend, your companion, and your soulmate.
You killed him.
You killed him.
Namjoon lunges after you in a blind fits of anger and as you keep your emotions well hidden in the depth of your heart, you hate the way this reminds you of those days all those years ago when Namjoon grew to hate you and the rest of your lovers did nothing but watch in turn.
Here you are reliving those same memories.
But rather than letting him take you down the way you did those years ago, this time you fight back. This time you lunge right back at him, not caring for anything else in this world even as something in the back of your mind tells you that you can’t win.
You can never win against Namjoon because at the end of the day, he will always be stronger than you. No matter how much strength you’ve gained through your years of torture, no matter how hard you’ve trained, how great your masters were, your strength can never exceed that of his.
“How dare you?!”
If Namjoon wasn’t blinded by rage, he’d use his brain just like any other day and realize how could a small little girl just nine years old possibly kill a man who held the strength and power of a mafia heir behind him? If he wasn’t so blinded by emotions, he’d remember the girl you used to be; afraid of guns and violence and always hidden behind the safety and comfort of her loved ones. How could a little girl like that, whether loved by her people or not, possibly rid of another man?
How could she? When all she wanted was nothing but happiness for the people that gave her nothing but kindness?
“Namjoon stop.” Hoseok. Poor Hoseok who still has the brains to try and rationalize things tries to meditate between two opposing opponents.
“Stop?” Namjoon scoffs. “She killed my brother!”
That’s right, blame me. Hate me. Hate me even more.
“You know what’s funny?” You pick yourself up from the ground, disregarding the fact that your white skirt now has stains on it as you reach for the knife hidden under it. “That I still haven’t gotten an explanation as to what happened all those years ago. Do you really think I’ll keep being patient without ever demanding an answer out of you?”
“Why the hell did you kill my brother? What did Jungwon ever do to you?” He doesn’t look for an answer before forcing you to dodge to the side with his blade grazing the skin of your arm. No matter how quick you are, you’re still slower than Namjoon. “That’s right, Jungwon didn’t do anything, did he? He’s not the type to hurt a little girl.” The more he pushes forward, the less space you have as you dodge back with your feet leaping behind at each step he forces you to take. “Did you have your people go after him? Force him to submit to you? Did you go to your father and make up stories in order to get rid of my brother?”
You manage to land a punch on his face upon those words, feeling your own anger building up. “I told you my truth. Why don’t you tell me yours, Namjoon? Surely I deserve it, right? After putting up with being your pawn, after letting you use me on that mission where you forced me to submit to a disgusting creep. Did you ever actually love me, Namjoon? Or was that all just a game you and the rest of your boys decided to play in in order to see how long things would last?”
“I didn’t deserve that.” Your eyes burn with red, baring your teeth as you glare at the rest of them. “We live in a world where emotions and weaknesses are not welcomed yet I trusted you with my heart. I gave you my soul. I listened to your problems, allowed you to lean on me, held you, loved you, did all that I could because I trusted in your love, and in turn, I got treated like nothing but a pawn in that little game you decided to play.” 
You push Namjoon against his chest upon his silence. “I put up with so much. Allowed you to degrade me, belittled me, let you say all those cruel things to me while being that silent good little girl you always cared for. That night I ripped my ring out, I even begged on my knees for you.”
“..What?” Hoseok whispers softly, words you’re unable to be heard because you’re focused on everyone else but him. He stands there in utter silence, listening to you and taking each and everything to heart.
You got on your knees and begged for them?
They…forced you to that point?
Hoseok turns to look at the rest of them with disbelief, as if trying to find someone in order to tell him that you’re wrong, that they didn’t force you to that point, and that you’re just spewing out nonsense because you’re angry.
“And you.” But before he can get an answer out of any of them, you’re speaking up too quickly as you point your finger at the rest of the boys. “Do you have any idea how much I second-guessed my position in our relationship? How much I envied the passing times you’ve already spent with one another? How many nights I went to sleep thinking perhaps you could have done better, perhaps I shouldn’t have intervened and got into the arranged marriage? Do you have any idea how many insecurities I built, convincing myself that you could never love me as much as you loved each other? That when it ever came to a point where one or two of you is fighting against me, I’d be on the losing end and no one would take my side because you loved each other more than you loved me?”
You laugh bitterly thinking about those days, feeling foolish for not giving in to those thoughts. “You had the audacity to make me think otherwise when in the end, my greatest nightmare came true.”
Namjoon forces himself in between you and them, pushing you back slightly on the shoulder. “Don’t make this about you.”
“What? Don’t make this about me?” You scoff at him with disbelief. “I gave you my truth, Namjoon, don’t you think it’s high time you gave me yours? Unless you plan on keeping me in the dark forever? If you really loved me then, if those three years were real and not a lie you built for me to live in then give me the truth that I deserved all those years ago. You wanted me gone no matter what, right? And I gave you that benefit, I walked away from our marriage because you no longer wanted me there anymore so whatever the hell is the reason behind those cold shoulders of yours, give it to me damn it! I deserve it more than anyone!”
“I stopped loving you!” He shouts against your anger and it catches you off guard for a moment.
You look at him for a second and when a heartbeat passes, you let out a disbelief scoff. “Now was that so hard to say? You sick bastard..!”
You push forth with your knife hung in the air but before you can strike, Seokjin’s right in front of you, forcing your hand away and as you take a moment to watch him with bafflement, you realize the rest of them are all standing by Namjoon’s side, refusing to let you harm him in any way.
Hoseok looks distraught as he remains where he first stood, his head falling to the side, avoiding your gaze, and once again it seems that no matter how hard you tried, you could have never competed against their love for one another. Because even if Hoseok were on your side then, they would have never pushed him away or allowed him to leave in order to stay by your side. They loved him too much to let him go to you.
How selfish.
“I see.” The strength in your voice weakens as you face the hard truth and although it looks like they want to say something, you don’t let them. “In the end, you really did love each other more than you did me. And I’m not upset at that, why I be? Feelings are something we cannot force no matter how much we try but you should have told me the truth instead of letting me be the fool into believing I could have been enough. I was never enough for you, was I? Or perhaps you were already enough for each other you didn’t need another one to intervene. Perhaps in the beginning you really did love me, or you thought you did. I want to believe in that love because you showed me sides to you you’d never show to anyone else. I want to believe that you were kind and not some cruel, heartless monsters who never cared for me and only used me as your pawns.
“And I’m not hurt because of the past. I’m over it. I’m hurt at the fact that you turned the little girl I was into a lovesick fool and made her believe nothing that she did would ever satisfy you. But she did nothing wrong…did she?” You look at them with your cold expression falling away, the anger still there but lessened as you’re more disappointed and hurt than anything. “I did nothing wrong. I was always enough, but you made me feel otherwise.”
You turn from them, not wanting to look at them any further. And as you walk away, this time even Hoseok doesn’t chase after you.
Perhaps he understands your pain, knows just how much the boys have messed up. And whether he wants to choose you or not is not a choice for him to make because at the end of the day, it will always be the boys.
You will always be Hoseok’s second choice.
“Boss?” Dasom’s at your side in an instant. You aren’t sure how and where she appeared from but the second you walk in through the doors and uttered her name, she’s right there at your disposal, her eyes widened, a quick display of surprise plastered on her usual expressionless face. “What happened there?” She points at the light graze on your arm, her anger clear. “We aren’t supposed to go for another one until later so who dared to hurt you? Who do I have to—”
You put your hand up, cutting her off immediately just as Yuna appears alongside her. They remain silent in your presence, taking in the way you look. Your once pure white skirt spoils with dirt, blazer hung over your arm for someone to take, eyes falling blankly to the floor with a look of exhaustion clear on your face. There’s a slight furrow in your brows, lips sealed tight, eyes twitching a little.
You’re trembling in the slightest way. It won’t ever be prominent to the normal eyes but your Reapers will never miss anything about you.
Dasom’s quick to rush away on her feet without a word, probably to call Mingyu, while you look around for something, feeling restless, before sitting flat on the floor.
“I hate heels,” you utter, allowing your legs to straighten right before you, and without needing to demand anything out of them, your Reapers know immediately what to do.
Yuna crouches down to take your shoes off while someone else takes your hair clip off to free your hair.
“Boss?” And when Mingyu’s voice is heard, you stare up with an effort, suddenly marked with a memory of the past.
Everyone has left the room upon your silence. Everyone but your right-hand man.
You sit still on the floor of your bedroom, the only place that’s secure in this hellhole. You hate what lies outside the door, hate the halls, the eyes of your father’s men, your father himself, and everything else that exists.
Mingyu tends to the wounds you reveal after ripping your sleeves off, trusting in only him to see them after having gone through a series of feigning your strength before your father. He sent you on another dangerous mission, hoping to kill you.
“Boss?” Mingyu speaks up into the silence, prompting you gently as if he knows there are some things you want to let out.
So you speak. “Mingyu.”
“What is it?” He remains patient upon your hesitation, so you turn to look at him, eyes distant but holding onto your last bit of sanity that still exists.
“I’m tired,” you say, and that’s all he needs to hear to understand.
He crouches down to your level and stares at the cut on your arm before taking a look at your slightly reddened feet from the heels. The silence lingers in the air and so he looks up at the rest, a signal they’re quick to pick up on and without a word, the Reapers that have gathered around all scatter away.
Once they’re all gone and out of sight without alerting any of your senses, you finally utter out more words.
“I’m tired,” you say, and Mingyu understands.
You’re tired, tired of everything. Tired of the world, of people, of everyone that has hurt you, of being weak and unable to face the truth without trembling, of pretending, of keeping strong, of lying, of being lied to, of your enemies, of your friends, of everyone and everything.
You’re tired.
You want to rest, to stop, to reset, to freeze time, to relive everything and make better decisions just so you don’t have to live through all of this ever again.
From what Mingyu can tell, there’s only one group of people that can make you look this way. There aren’t a lot of people who can go up against you after all, not to mention you had no plans to face anyone annoying today, so the only conclusion he can come up with is that you accidentally met up with Bangtan and something happened.
“He found out Mister Butler died,” you say, already knowing that Mingyu can always speculate what’s going on with you. Mister Butler will always be Mister Butler to you. Not Kim Jungwon, not Namjoon’s brother, not a man belonging to another gang, just Mister Butler. Your butler.
Your kind and gentle butler whom you killed.
“Ah,” is all Mingyu says as he makes himself comfortable on the floor.
You take your knees up to your chest and lay your cheek against them. “I told him I killed him myself.”
He purses his lips. “Why would you lie to him like that?”
“I wanted him to hate me.” You pause. “To blame me.” It’s a simple answer and Mingyu can already tell what’s going on inside your head.
You hate showing any bit of weakness in front of others, especially in front of strangers and in front of people that have wronged you. You hate it when someone shakes your core, when you can’t stand upright, when your falsehood falls and your brave act begins to break, and he knows you must have hated it most that you had to show such a vulnerable side of yourself towards the very ones who drove you back into such a harsh environment, forcing you to survive all on your own.
They unknowingly fed you to the wolves, just to watch in horror as they finally witnessed the consequences of their actions. What makes it worst is that they don’t even know that that was all their doing. You would have been safe staying with Bangtan if they hadn’t forced you to leave.
Lying to Namjoon about killing his brother was your way of distancing yourself from him, because even you could tell something would have changed in your relationship were he to begin acting differently around you after London’s mission.
You hate being weak and you hate it most of the people’s reactions to it.
Some people use that against you while others sympathize and act with more care around you. You and Mingyu both know Namjoon isn’t the type to use your weakness against you so you decided to keep playing the villain and drive him away.
“Do you ever plan on telling him the truth someday?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because he deserves it,” Mingyu says, “that’s his brother after all. No matter what happened between the two of you, you know he deserves the truth and not the lie you told him of killing his own brother yourself.”
You know.
You know more than anyone Namjoon deserves to hear the truth about what happened all those years ago. You remember the first night he opened up to you about his brother, how broken he looked to believe he failed Jungwon when in reality he had nothing to do with his death. It was all the corrupted fathers that involved themselves in the game of thrones, willing to discard all and anyone away whether they were family or not.
Namjoon’s father was just like yours and you know that if Namjoon were to ever find out the truth about your father, he’d hate himself the most.
They all would.
But you don’t care to give them the truth because they don’t deserve it, none of them do. None except Hoseok but you know that if Hoseok were to ever know everything, he’d beat himself up the most and you don’t deserve to put him through any of that.
Your secrets will remain yours both from Bangtan and the Reapers.
Still, if there’s anything Namjoon deserves, it’s the truth about his brother, just as Mingyu said. It wasn’t fair of you to use his brother against him after all. You were cruel for that but you had to do what you had to do. It was the only way to get through to Namjoon, make him a pawn in this stupid revenge game of yours. He doesn’t deserve the lies you gave him, the truth you withheld from him, but revealing the truth about Mister Butler’s death will also bring your own truth forward and you don’t think you can take that.
“If I tell him the truth about Mister Butler…that means telling my truth.” Mingyu watches you carefully as you speak and because you know even he and Yuna doesn’t know much about your past, your brows knit in distress as you look away from that piercing gaze, holding onto your knees even tighter. “Father killed him,” you utter bitterly as you bite against your lower lip, the effects of the incident still a place you’d rather not return to. “He was the first love I lost.”
You’ve told them about the first man who ever showed you kindness, that because he loved you, he died. You told them about Bangtan, that they failed you and betrayed your trust. The two of them, Mister Butler and Bangtan, are the very reasons why the Reapers are not permitted to love you.
To you, being loved is something out of the book. You’re scared of being loved because in the end, they either die or betray you. That is why you cannot see how deeply the Reaper’s loyalty lies.
Because you refuse to.
Because you’re afraid of it.
Afraid of loving and afraid of being loved.
“If I tell him about Mister Butler..how he died and how he lived…he’ll connect the dots. He’s already doing it right now, I’m sure of it. How can you still blindly think a father actually treated his daughter finely knowing she’s been through some stuff? Namjoon’s not stupid, none of them are. It was easy to live in the lie back then but now that I’m deliberately going after people, how can anyone not begin to question things?”
So you’ve pushed them away not only because you didn’t want them to treat you any differently but also because you’re pushing them away from the truth they may be hoping to find out.
“Not that it matters much anymore anyways.” You press your forehead upon your knees, hiding your face completely. “I told him I killed his brother and he told me he stopped loving me. In the end, the old me who was once the center of their attention fell away and was never enough for them. What a pitiful little girl,” you scoff lightly, bitter at the fact you’ve just uttered. “Nothing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough. She was so..dumb. But maybe she knew the truth all along. Maybe she just didn’t want to believe in it, deluding herself into lies after lies, trying to keep up the fantasy, living in a house of cards that had been inevitable to fall from the very beginning. 
“She was a fool. An utter, pitiful fool.”
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parker-likes-tea · 2 months ago
this animatic makes me spin in a circle and scream like a tormented soul/pos. its perfect im not fucking joking. the song is a perfect fit, and the fucking facial expressions you outdid yourself @wolfythewitch. and now im gonna talk about it. a lot. im sorry. (obviously all about c! not cc!)
the main reason why I adore this animatic is that it makes you feel so many fucking emotions. a lot of that is because the plagues is a song that deserves so much love and the way that each line is delivered makes it really hit hard, but it makes me think about fucking Minecraft roleplay like a scholar thinking about the illiad.
the opening first part of the song is just showing L'manburg. its showing a home, showing the roads the shops the animals. but the background vocals are ominous, a curse, making me think about us, the viewer. the blood for the blood god. "I send the pestilence and plague into your house into your bed into your streams into your streets into your drink into your bread" and I can feel the tension building. I know something bad is going to happen, I know this isn't a safe space anymore.
"Until you break until you yield". introduced to the people here. L'manburg, looking very fucking worried. Then we see some badass shots. Dream looking down upon l'manburg, literally and metaphorically. philza being fucking terrifying oh my fucking god. but then we're to the brothers. we're not talking about those threats right now. we're listening to tommy. tommy standing before his brother, in his other dead brother's coat, being very confused and scared.
"once I called you brother, once I thought the chance to make you laugh was all I ever wanted." oh thanks I didn't need my heart thanks really. we get a brief glimpse of the past - with a bonus foreshadowing for the end of the animatic, very nice - of tommy and techno being happy. because they were. C!bedrock bros is a very painful pairing. they were so happy. but now they aren't, and we're violently returned to the present as the chanting returns and lightning rains down on l'manburg.
"and even now, I wish that god had chose another, serving as your foe on his behalf, is the last thing that I wanted" I'm not perfectly up to date on the transition between 'welcome home theseus' and doomsday. but im pretty sure that sums it up quite a bit.
"This was my home, all this pain and devastation, how it tortures me inside. all the innocents who suffer for your stubbornness and pride!" tommy always was and always will be loyal to l'manburg. even when it exiled him and was taken from him he has been loyal to l'manburg. makes you think about wilbur's jacket. anyways, im fucking certain that doomsday hurt a lot of people, it was violent, it was well orchestrated, and it got the fucking job done. also during this part wolfy continues to fucking flex on us with how much emotion they can put into art, thanks im crying.
tommy's clearly talking to techno here. and techno hears him, he listens, and he fires the signal to do something (look I haven't seen the vod in awhile, it was probably more withers). i really like how tommy's only talking to techno here. you could reimagine this song between dream and tommy if you wanted to, or wilbur honestly but being between techno and tommy makes sense in a way I can't quite describe. (also just back to this music, "ON EVERY LEAF ON EVERY STALK UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT OF GREEN" I have fucking goosebumps oh my god)
"You who I called brother, why must you call down another blow. let my people go" good line. tommy's asking "hey what the fuck" and techno's not quite listening anymore, he's turned his back. which makes his next like just so much more beautiful poetically speaking.
"you who I called brother, how could you have come to hate me so. is this what you wanted." we're with technobalde now. l'manburg has fallen, for what he belives to be rightful reasons. Whether it is or isn't deserved, l'manburg is still fallen. and he almost blames tommy. in c!technoblades mind, tommy is the reason why he's decided to team up with dream to do this. tommy betrayed him. tommy hates him. so there is nothing holding him back.
"then let my heart be hardened, and never mind how high the costs may grow, this will still be so. I will never let your people go." and tommy falls to his knees in despair. he can't win. he's not going to win this fight. l'manburg is lost again. forever. his brother killed it.
now the next lines are just "let my people go/i will not let your people go". we get the flashback, techno's hand in his hair, a pitiful memory of when things were okay. he doesn't directly hurt tommy - in the animatic - because he doesn't need to. he's blown up l'manburg. he's taken a home. and it will not be returning. that is hurt enough.
in the second to last shot they are looking opposite directions. they can no longer see eye to eye. tommy looks so young, techno looks almost remorseful. or maybe determined.
the final shot. terror looms around them, the sky is dark, fire is falling down from the sky but almost more terrifyingly, tommy has lost his fight. he's given up. tommy is crying, he's mourning. techoblade is looking away, the only point of contact a gentle hand. he doesn't push it, he knows its been too much already.
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tender-rosiey · 3 months ago
𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐖 | gojo x f!reader
| pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8
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ᴀ/ɴ: by popular demand, a part two has been delivered and I am thinking of making a part three, but who knows; it does depend on y’all in the end <3 I had fun with this honestly 👁🫦👁
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safe to say, after your last interaction with gojo: the two of you didn’t talk. you were happy with that, so happy. you were finally freed from the shackles of that suffocating marriage, and you thank god that you didn’t go through with the ceremony.
your hand felt a lot lighter too. now, there was nothing holding you back from thriving and making the most out of everything. consequently, after multiple successful missions, the higher-ups have decided to assign you a mission that was rather high in level.
you had faith in yourself, considering the information provided about the curse. you were also told that you will be with multiple other sorcerers so things can go smoother. you didn’t object, considering how even if paired up with someone: it would never be gojo.
you were in kyoto, and with him being in tokyo, it was quite impossible. not to mention, that almost everyone knows the past you two have had.
the mission was going rather comfortably, and easily. the curse’s traces have been found and your group had followed it and found it. now, what’s left is to exorcise it. should be easy, right? you did read that its abilities can be nullified by yours and that overpowering it was guaranteed.
wrong, so wrong. those fuckers mixed up papers and now you were facing a curse that quite literally is your natural enemy. you were a nice person, never liking to cause people harm; however, considering your situation, no one would blame you for cursing those geezers to the moon and back.
holding onto the hope of help coming before you were dealt with was rather naïve in your line of work, though you only wish it will actually happen. as you run to take cover, you hear a loud gruesome screech and sounds of smashing and breaking. after that, your ears are met with nothing but silence.
“I never thought that you would be able to deal damage to that, since you are pretty weak and it’s your natural enemy and all, you know.”
of all people, the person you dreaded the most, someone whose voice became like chalk being dragged roughly across a board to you, and someone you have obviously come to hate.
“are you done with your inner monologue?” he rubs his neck, and cracks it, “egoistical people are so tiring, ugh.”
you mumble, “tell yourself that.”
“I heard that.”
“good, now out of my sight,” you stand up, completely forgetting why you were taking cover; you had rather—noticeable injuries. gojo eyed your figure up and down.
he takes a hold of your wrist, “you can’t move like that,” you quirk your eyebrow at him, and walk a few steps proving him wrong. “y/n, you know what I mean,” he sighs. for some reason, he can’t handle when you, out of everyone else who has given him attitude, do so.
he couldn’t blame you though, after his realization he stopped, neither of you were to blame for the engagement or planned marriage. both of you didn’t want it, yet he went on with being an asshole and hurt and disrespected you.
“leave me alone, gojo; i am sure someone else will come and help me like a gentleman,” you say leaning onto a wall.
the man in question just ruffles his hair, “well, too bad, sweetheart. I am the only person and gentleman you will be seeing for quite sometime,” he announces while leaning on the wall opposite to yours.
you slowly lift your head up, tilting to the side, “what do you mean?”
a grin makes into gojo’s face and he takes a few steps towards you before leaning down, “they told you that you were going to be partnered with someone for the upcoming 2 months, right?”
you refused to believe it, no way, absolutely no way, “OVER MY FUCKING DEAD BODY!”
“woah, calm down, sugar; it wasn’t my choice either,” he proclaimed, “its their way of saying: both of you should start getting along.”
you take a sharp breath in before letting it out, “with all the respect I can nitpick,”
“shut up; gojo, I can’t physically nor mentally work with you,” you conclude.
silence engulfs the atmosphere for a moment, “I figured as much, still hate me?”
“very much so.”
he puts his hand on his chin, to emphasize that he is in his “thinking” state, which never ends well. “so how about—“
“sweetie, didn’t anyone teach you to not interrupt someone when they are talking?” he asks and you only roll your eyes, letting him continue, “how about you let me make everything up to you now? for the two coming months, I will prove to you that I am worth your trust, sounds good?”
“suggestion denied.”
he huffs, “thought so,” a pout settles onto his glossy lips, wait glossy? moving on, he speaks again, with a rather more serious tone, “I know I was an asshole, a bitch, and frankly an awful man.”
“still could be, but okay.”
“can you just listen to me until the end?” he retorts and resumes “I want to make up for everything I have done; if I can’t make you at least like me as friend then I don’t want to be someone your unfiltered hatred is direct to.”
you wait a moment, in case he wants to say something, but when met with silence, you answer “why now? and do you think that money will just make all what happened disappear?”
he places his hand on your shoulder, “I am not trying to win you over by money or gifts; I never thought of you like that. I know you are more than I used to give you credit for. you are weak, but you try.”
you punch him in the stomach, and you find that his infinity isn’t on, but he doesn’t as much as flinch, “y/n, I don’t want to be the person that your eyes burn with hatred when they see them. if I can’t be someone who you can care about then let it be neutral.”
you cross your arms, “you didn’t answer my question: why now?”
he takes a deep breath, “I thought about everything that happened between us; I know you think that I never paid attention to you, but I did. to the point, I though I was going crazy. before you interrupt, yes I was seeing other women, but for some reason you still weren’t out of my mind.”
“liar,” you sneer, “you told me that I was the last thing on your mind. you always voiced it out too. stop lying, haven’t you done enough already?”
he sighs, hand making its way to your waist; he knows he is risking it, but his heart has decided for a while before his mind did: he wanted you. he hugs you, his touch barely there, “let me try at least; try waiting for me a bit. I swear that I will make it worth it.”
maybe yes, his mind was distracted, but at the end, the person who he kept thinking about in his dreams was you.
before you could protest and drop kick him like a child, he continues, “I know; I have been awful to you.” he pulls back and loudly says with his hand on his forehead, dramatic antics coming back “would you please grace me with your forgiveness and give me a chance to fix things, oh dear gorgeous y/n?”
his other hand is extended to you, you were contemplating whether to bite it or not, but you were thinking, maybe it won’t hurt to see what he will do. if no progress can be seen with him, then at least you would be spoiled, and who would say no that?
the moment your hand makes contact with his, he beams, before kissing it gently and running off like a child in a sugar rush, “wait when it strikes 4pm tomorrow! we have a long day!”
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takenbyheartstrings · 3 months ago
summary: you and Peter are enemies, but something happens one night. It's the night that everything changed between you and Peter. You're trying to forget what happened. But Peter won't let you run... not anymore.
pairing: enemies to lovers! peter parker x fem!reader
warnings: SMUT (extended warnings under the cut), mentions of blood, mentions of cheating, fluff, mostly angsty?, i probably missed something so sorry if i did :(
word count: 10.1k (2.4k is smut <3)
authors note: hi! sorry for the lack of fics :( writers block has been on my ASS, but i managed to pull this through <3 AND IT'S ANOTHER ENEMIES TO LOVERS FIC, so i hope you enjoy :)
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extended smut warnings: PROTECTED sex (p in v), fingering, oral (fem), minor praise kink, idk this is pretty vanilla JKSDFKJSDF.
Your days had been long and strung out – there was nothing exciting. There was nothing there for you to grasp. There was nothing there for you to take or be excited for. You had no goals, and your life was basically the definition of mediocre. Maybe that’s why you were friends with someone you hated. Maybe that’s why the two of you were in the middle of this constant game of cat and mouse. It was confusing and it was addicting. The two of you flirted and the two of you argued and nobody would ever dare to stand in the way of that. People had just gotten used to it.
There wasn’t a reason for the hate. It sort of just happened. Like you took one look at Peter and decided you were going to hate him for the rest of your life. Never let there be a waking moment where he wouldn’t think about your next quip. Never a moment where he would catch a blink of sleep because he was thinking about something you had said to him. It was hopeless and the two of you were pathetic for it, but that’s the way your relationship had just panned out to be. You were in the place you had wanted to put Peter and Peter was in that place for you.
When your boyfriend cheated on you, he told you in spite that you had deserved it and when his girlfriend had done the same with your boyfriend you told him that it was karma. Somehow the world just keeps taking things away from you and pitting the two of you against each other, but also bringing you closer.
You wouldn’t say you’d trust Peter with anything. But there was a layer there the two of you had yet to unpack. It was vulnerability. You would never let Peter Parker see you fucking cry. You’d never dare to let that happen and if you did it would be over your own dead body. That vulnerability would open you and Peter up to so many things – if you stopped hating Peter you wouldn’t be sure what would get you excited for the day or what would happen to your relationship and it scared you, because as fucked up as it is, he is the one constant in your life that just keeps you going every day. He is the reason you wake up every morning and for all the wrong reasons.
Your breath hitches as the club lights flash around you all. Harry had dragged you to this new nightclub and you were already on your fourth drink, drowning out everything Peter had said to you the night before. You wanted to forget what happened with him and you wanted to move on... but how could you? He’d said something last night that would change everything... but if it had, he wasn’t letting it show.
Your dress was tiny and black. Your boobs were on display, and you were fucking plastered. Your body moving with the music, against another man’s body. You didn’t know who he was but the drunk version of you didn’t give a fuck, because you were dancing and forgetting, forgetting everything that happened.
You turn to face the man and he is a handsome stranger. Brown hair, brown eyes, and a daring smile that your lips are begging to kiss. You don’t know where your friends have gone, and this stranger you’re dancing with is paying you all the attention you need. You sling your arms over his shoulders and your lips intertwine as the two of you continue to kiss, his hands trail down your body and you can feel eyes on you – except for the fact that they’re not the eyes of the man you’re kissing, but from a far. You drunkenly pull away and look around the club, searching for any sign of who was watching you. Maybe you’re imagining things or maybe they knew that you were going to look for them. Whatever the case, it didn’t matter anymore. This man had moved on to someone else.
You pouted your lip and turned toward the bar, stumbling over your own feet ordering another drink and placing it on Harry’s tab. Michelle had found you and pulled you and your drink to the roof. You saw all your friends sitting there around a table and the air hit you, making you sober up a little bit, but the sip of your drink took you right back to where you had started.
You made eye contact with Peter and his jaw was clenched as he watched you sit down. This was a typical move for you – getting plastered like this. He wanted to snap you out of it. You were an annoying fucking drunk, and he was always left to take care of you because everyone was always in the same position as you and the fucking spider-bite had graced him with the ability to not be able to get anywhere near drunk. Not tipsy. Not drunk. Nothing. Sometimes he wished he could be like you. Drink to forget. But he envies the fact that he can’t so he wishes you would just stop.
As all of you sorted out who would be in what car, you were in Peters, Harry was sober enough to take home Mary Jane and MJ was good to take Felicia and Betty back.
How had you always gotten stuck with him? He wasn’t sure. Maybe everyone was still trying to create a friendship between the two of you, even if you both avidly spoke out against it. You didn’t want to be his friend and he didn’t want to be yours, yet they kept pushing the two of you together as if one day that would magically change.
You sigh, brushing your hair out of your face as the window sits open, it’s too hot not to keep it open and the air con in Peter’s car was broken. Something you’d learnt one of the first times you’d been in here. You looked over at Peter and the water bottle he’d stopped at a gas station to buy for you, slowly, but surely you were somewhat sobering up but the window being open helped release some of the tension for you throwing up all over Peter and his car.
You took a sip of water as the song changed. It was a familiar tune, and you didn’t know Peter listened to Arctic Monkeys, assuming it was from his playlist. You went to turn it up, but Peter had beaten you to it. His fingers tapping on the wheel.
You were relaxed. For the first time around Peter, you were actually relaxed. Maybe it was because you were still plastered. Maybe it was the wind. Maybe it was the song. But you didn’t really know. Last night had changed things for the two of you. You didn’t want it to. God, you didn’t want it to be like this. But it was. Right now, it was, and you were seeing the Brightside.
You woke up the next day with a pounding headache. One that could absolutely kill you if it tried and it was nothing short of pain. You had thrown up when you got back to your dorm and MJ had held your hair back. Michelle was a good friend, and you were grateful that you were a part of this group of friends. Despite the way Harry pressures all of you to party all the time. You can’t really complain though, it’s not like you’re spending your own money.
You sighed as you looked at MJ’s door. Her and Harry were probably in there. The lot of you were placed into a suite. Suitemates. Which meant you also lived with Peter. It wasn’t your first choice of roommate, but MJ had said it was cheaper for all six of you to live together so you said okay. A good decision? Maybe. But you hated the fact that you had to wake up to Peter in the kitchen every morning making food for everyone. Sure, it was a nice gesture, and maybe that was the problem. That he was always nice. He never had a break. The only person he took all of his shit out seemed to be you.
“Morning Penis Parker.”
“You smell like vomit.” He comments with a grimace.
You roll your eyes, “Thanks for making me remember.”
Peter hands you a plate of pancakes, drowned in maple syrup – just the way you like them, you narrow your eyes, “Is this poisoned?” You question him.
He scoffs, “Right, because I’d make a whole batch of pancakes and waste food just to poison you. Don’t be so conceded.”
You take a bite of your food, “Tastes good, Parker.” You give a sarcastic smiles, “I think the trash would like it even more.”
“Maybe you were right, though, maybe that’s why it tastes funny.” He smirks, “Or maybe you’ve just got fucked up tastebuds because of all the shit you drank last night.”
You scoff, throwing the pancakes into the bin, “I don’t want your food anyway.”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
Your eyes meet Peters and as much as you tried to forget the night. You couldn’t. You couldn’t forget that night. The air was shifting between the two of you. This morning’s banter was shit when it was usually full of fire. Your insults weren’t as hard hitting, and it made you gulp. You were nervous and scared and all you ever wanted was to have it back. Before that stupid night. Because it would change everything if you hadn’t known.
You skipped the party. Like an idiot you skipped the party. This would’ve been avoided if you had just gone. Tonight, was a rare night where you had actually not wanted to go out. Stay in and focus on the work right in front of you so you could get to graduating. You picked at your fingernails as you stare at your laptop and it’s blank document. Trying to figure out what to write. You had to write a creative story as an assignment for your course and it was killing you. You were drowned of inspiration and better yet, your head was pounding from a killer headache that just wouldn’t leave you alone.
Maybe you were stressed. Maybe everything was just starting to finally get to you. Maybe it was starting to eat you up and staring into the void of your blank white document in silence wasn’t helping you at all. Sure, the antibiotics hadn’t kicked in, but even so, if they did, you were sure you wouldn’t notice.
Peter hadn’t gone to the party tonight either. He usually goes and leaves halfway through, coming back at the end. He’s usually the one who takes you home. You’re not sure what he does in between the time he leaves and you’re not quite sure you really want to know.
Your fingers began to type, and you had only realised a few seconds in that you were typing random words from slapping your hands over the keys. Writer’s block wasn’t a great look for anyone.
You stood up from your desk and made your way into the kitchen. A glass of water ought to help, you had thought to yourself. Desperately looking for any excuse to procrastinate. But that’s when you heard a thump from Peter’s room and a groan afterwards. Peter hadn’t been here. His door had been open, and you saw he wasn’t in there so why did he come through the window and not the front door, if that even was him. You wanted to assume it was but maybe you were being burgled.
You went over to Peter’s door to see him lying on the floor in red and blue spandex. Your eyes went wide. Either he was doing this for his own pleasure, or he was actually spider-man. You’d hoped it would be the first option but the cuts on his face and the way he was clutching onto his abdomen for dear life was concerning so you rushed by his side. Any thought of hate flying out the window. You were making a mistake. He didn’t see you till now.
Maybe this was all your fault. Maybe the fact that everything changed had been on you. It was on you. Peter looks into your eyes and groans again. But he chooses to ignore the blind hatred the two of you share. Desperately he points to his closet.
“There’s a first aid kit in there, I- fuck!-” He groans in pain as you watch him turn over once more, tears running down his face, “Fuck, there’s gauze and bandages in there.”
You don’t say anything, all you can do is make your way to the closet – your mind isn’t filled with hatred. No. No. No. It’s filled with worry. What would’ve happened if you weren’t here? What would’ve happened to Peter if you weren’t here to patch him up?
“Fuck, Peter, what? What happened?” You ask as you grab the first aid kit from the closet as Peter tries to lift himself onto his bed, his spandex was now off, and he was left in a pair of boxer briefs. You didn’t care right now. You didn’t care that he was basically naked on the bed because there was a gash. A large fucking gash over his stomach.
He throws his head back keeping his hand on his wound. His hand is covered in blood and his suit ruined. He was Spider-Man, and you were using his name. You were saying Peter and neither of you had caught onto it yet but you were desperate to help him. As he groans in pain unable to answer.
“Okay Peter, this website- it says we need to get this wound under running water, because if I use antiseptic, it’ll damage your skin.” You inform him and he shakes his head.
“No. The skin will heal fine.” He says through his teeth, “The spider-bite, it gave me the power to h-heal tomorrow this’ll be gone, but I can’t handle this right now so just patch it up. It hurts, please, y/n.” He begs you, “Please.” There are tears down both of your faces at this point and you nod.
“Okay, this might... it might hurt, okay?” You say through your tears and Peter can only nod at your words.
As you take an alcohol wipe and begin to wash the wound in it, he groans and hisses through his teeth, letting out a groan of pain that keeps your own tears coming and you’re so desperate for him to be okay because you’re not sure what you would do without him. He told you he’d be okay so why were you still worried?
Out of all the things to happen tonight something was stripped from you two. Something you told yourself would never happen between the two of you and you hadn’t realised your mistake yet. You had let Peter see you cry, and he had let you see him cry. There was vulnerability now. One of his biggest secrets was now revealed to you and it was because of  chance. It was all up to chance... and god, were you wrong about him. But you didn’t want to stop hating him either.
Because this night changed everything. As you look at the way his back arched when you pressed the alcohol to his skin and the way his eyes looked into yours, desperate for your help and desperate for you to stop hurting him and although you knew you couldn’t you didn’t want to hurt him anymore. But he was going to hurt with or without you right now and you wanted to ease his pain. You wanted to help him stop hurting for the first time in your life and you were clutching onto the fact that he has to be okay. He needs to be okay.
All you want for him is to be okay.
Taking a bandage out of the first aid kit, you help him sit up as he groans when he does so. You place some gauze onto the wound and wrap the bandage around his waist. He sits back and the two of you are in silence. Your hands are covered in his blood and there’s not much he can say to you right now. There’s not much anyone can say. You were just worried for Peter Parker’s life.
Something you had threatened multiple times. Something you hadn’t really cared about before. You were worried. You were in pain because he was in pain.
Your both still sitting in silence and Peter opens his mouth to say something and you turn to face him, speaking before he can, “Pete.” The name comes out like a whisper – something only his friends would call him, “Are you okay?”
He shakes his head, “Not currently... but I- I will be.” He nods carefully, “I know you probably won’t, but can you not say anything about this to anyone? You and my aunt are now the only people who know about me being Spider-Man. Coming home like this almost every night... well, not every night, I can usually avoid this kinds of wounds but, y’know, tonight clearly wasn’t my night.” He chuckles.
You join him and smile softly, “Of course I won’t... I still- I still don’t like you, by the way.” You feel like you have to say it now because what happens if you don’t clarify it? What happens if you don’t actually hate Peter anymore?
He nods, “Right, yeah, of course.” He looks into your eyes, “What if I don’t want you to hate me anymore?”
It catches you off guard and you freeze, “Please, Peter, don’t be ridiculous.” You scoff.
“C’mon you care about me. You could’ve left me here to fend for myself. You cried. You hoped I would be okay.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t leave you to die, Peter. I’m not a bitch like that, okay. But we hate each other, and I don’t count on that changing anytime soon. That’s just the way we are.” You don’t get up from Peter’s bed, but he moves closer to you.
For the first time tonight, you actually see what’s underneath that suit of his, the way his abs are still defined even if covered by bandage. How his collarbone is as sharp as his jaw. His brown eyes melting into your own.
He’s close enough that his breath hits your lips, “What if I don’t want to be your enemy anymore. We can be friends. We don’t have to live in this constant cycle of anger... of hate.”
You shake your head, “Peter...” You trail off, but you don’t move away and you’re not sure who moved in first, but your lips are pressed to his. You’re careful to avoid the wound that sits in between the two of you but he swipes your lip for entrance, and you allow him to kiss you. You allow him to kiss you.
Then they’re not. You pull away and sigh, “I’m- I’m sorry, Peter. I can’t. I can’t let this happen.” You say softly getting off of his bed and walking away.
As you look at Peter you can still feel the ghost of his lips on yours. Everything was different now. You found it harder to hate Peter. He was a good person and you had helped him. You were there for him when he needed that. You look around to make sure nobody else is awake.
Your face contorts and it’s venerable. Something the two of you aren’t meant to be and you don’t know why you’re asking because you promised yourself you wouldn’t. But it’s kept you up at night, wondering if he was okay. Even last night when you were trying to forget. Kissing someone else to make yourself forget all about Peter. He was still engraved in your mind. Regardless, you ask anyway. Your eyes are soft and your voice barely above a whisper.
“How’s the wound?” You ask him, placing a hand on his forearm.
He looks down at you, those chocolate brown eyes piercing into yours once more, he nods, lifting his shirt to show you. It’s not fully healed yet. But most of it is gone. There’s a scar there but you know as much as he does that it’ll be gone in the next few hours or the next day.
You’d avoided him till now and you were adamant that you’d only wanted to hate Peter. That you didn’t want anything else. But yet, you still did care and Peter wanted to show you that he did care about you. That this thing the two of you had was far beyond hate.
You don’t know what compels you to do so, but you run your fingers over the scar. It sends a shiver down Peter’s spine. Your touch, it was doing something to him, and this was a weirdly intimate position you’d put the two of you in. But he didn’t care and oddly you didn’t either. Not until you heard the door to MJ’s room begin to open.
Your eyes flashed with anger, and you took your hand off of Peter’s wound and he let his shirt drop over it. His eyes still soft as he watches you. His features in awe of the way you mauver away from him. How you’re able to turn your hate on so easily. Even though it looks like you’ve betrayed yourself. Your eyes are still on him, yet your anger is a façade.
“Fuck off, Parker.” You speak viciously. Your tone is far from nice. It’s like his name is poison. Like his name is something so disgusting it should be banished.
You turn your back to him, taking a moment to collect yourself, but it doesn’t seem to work because as you enter your room slamming the door behind you. All you can even think about is him. The way his lips were on yours. The way his hands had been on your waist when he kissed you so needily. The way the kiss had changed everything about the two of you. It wasn’t helping that he wanted you as much as the next person. He made it evident to you that he wanted to put this all behind you, but you just couldn’t you couldn’t. You can’t.
Maybe moving forward with Peter would be better for you. But you aren’t thinking. Of course, you’re not because any logical person would forgive him. Any logical person would want to move forward... and it’s killing you that you can’t seem to let yourself do exactly that.
“What’s up with her this morning?” Harry asks his best friend as he takes his own plate of pancakes.
Peter shakes his head, “Dunno, man.” He shrugs, “Same shit as always. She’s bein’ a bitch.”
Peter looks over at your door and all he can think of his you. He sighs looking down at his own plate, mulling it over. Harry knows he’s got a lot on his mind – especially about you. Because Peter is so conflicted. He wants you. He wants every part of you and that kiss you shared with him was probably the best kiss he’s ever had in his whole entire life. But there’s also the fact that the two of you have said so much to each other in spite, blind hatred, and anger.
When your boyfriend had cheated on you, Peter wanted nothing more than to wrap an arm around you, pull you close. Be there for you. But as always, you continued your spite for him. You continued to be mean and rude and hate every part of him. You continued to be sick and tired of him. So, he continued too. He told you that you deserved it. He told you that he never loved you.
But when he sees you with someone else’s tongue down your throat after the two of you had kissed the night before, Peter wanted nothing more than for time to go back so he could say something else because as much as that kiss the two of you shared meant everything it also meant absolutely nothing. The two of you weren’t friends. You weren’t the one Peter was allowed to call his. You were nothing but his enemy. The thing you had deemed yourself all those years ago.
The next few days were a blur, yet again everyone else was at a party when you stayed back, and you were secretly hoping Peter hadn’t left. MJ was the only one who spoke to you before the group left.
You don’t know why you were hoping Peter would be here when you were too. You didn’t know why you wanted Peter to get hurt maybe? No. No. No. That’s the last thing you wanted. That’s the last thing you wanted. The last. You were shocked at yourself for even thinking that. Maybe you wanted to help him. Maybe that’s what it was. Regardless, you didn’t ever want to see him like that again. That was some of the scariest shit you had ever been through, and you couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Peter.
That’s when you heard the thump. You got up from your desk and made your way to Peter’s room, throwing the door open to see him in his room perfectly fine. Perfectly okay. God, you felt stupid. Yes, he was in his suit. Yes, he had just come back. But you had let yourself into a world of care for a boy you shouldn’t care about. You were angry at yourself for believing Peter couldn’t take better care of himself. Regretting the fact that you had stumbled in on him not too long ago.
“You alright?” He asks you.
“Are you?” You brace yourself for impact, not ready to hear if he’s not okay.
He nods, “Yeah, might have a slight concussion, but I’ll be, yeah, I’ll be fine.” He nods again, you stare at him for another second, “We should probably talk about that night.” His voice is barely above a whisper.
You shake your head, “We don’t. We don’t have to talk about anything, Peter. I told you I still hate you. I don’t like you. We’re not friends. We’re not anything, okay? You and I aren’t meant to be anything.”
He sighs, “Stop avoiding it, things changed, okay? You and I? We’re not the same anymore, y/n. Whether you like it or not, we are not the same.” He runs a hand over his face, “We’ve been like this two times. One the first time I met you and Two the other night?”
“Been like what, Pete?” You question him, “What have we been?”
“Venerable, y/n. We’ve been venerable and as fucked up as it sounds, I trust you more than anyone in this fucking house. Maybe it’s because you know I’m Spider-Man. Maybe it’s because we kissed, maybe it’s because we have been through so much together even though we hate each other and all those times we’ve flirted with each other intertwining it with our anger. I can’t do it anymore. You and I? We’re changing.”
You shake your head, “I don’t want to change, Peter.”
“Why not! Let us change! There’s something here between me and you. We need to grow because we can’t keep hating each other. It’s getting old. It’s getting boring. Stop ignoring this. Stop running away from it.”
You’re in denial because of all of this. Because this isn’t the way you need this to go. This isn’t what you want. Everything is pointing to the signs that he’s right. He’s always fucking right. You shake your head; you think about the first time you met. Maybe that’s the reason you decided to hate him. Maybe it was the beginning of everything. Had you really started all of this? You honestly forgot about it.
Yet again you were sitting in the park crying over your roommate, who seems to have been a bitch this whole time. She lied to your face constantly, much like everyone else in your life. You have yet to find a group of honest people who will give you exactly what you want. Attention. Good attention. Love, and kindness. You have hope that you will one day. You might. Who knows? But it’s not like you can really complain. You put yourself into this situation and now you’re crying in a park like some lowlife.
He walks over to you. He’s got brown hair and brown eyes that lurk over you, and he debates if he should talk to you or not. You want to tell him to leave but instead you come out with fire, “What’re you staring at?” You ask, wiping your eyes of your tears, “Deciding if you should tip me? You think I’m homeless?”
He shakes his head, “No. I didn’t think that but now I’m quite sure that you’re just projecting your issues and you really are homeless.”
You roll your eyes, “Well I’m not... I’m not homeless. I’ve got a dorm... I think.”
“So you’re borderline homeless?” he questions.
“What’s it to you?” You ask him, “Unless you’ve got a place for me to go... and forgive me if I’m wrong, you wouldn’t even want me there because I’m a stranger.”
“You’re not though... a stranger.”
“What do you mean?” You furrow your eyebrows at the boy.
“You’re in my English class.” He sighs, “You sit right in front of me.”
“Right.” You nod slowly, “Because you know my name, then? If we’re not strangers.” You rub your eyes, a couple more tears falling down your face. Probably what’s left of them anyway.
He sighs, “Let me help you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t need help.”
“Clearly, you do.” He’s getting aggravated now and the way the two of you are looking at each other is something other worldly. You want to kill him for nothing. For suggesting he help you which is exactly what you needed so why are you pushing him away? Why aren’t you letting yourself get help.
You stand your eyes burning because of your tears and you’re denying help that’ll probably be the best thing for you in the next while. What if this is what you need? What if this can reset your life? What do you have to lose? Absolutely, nothing. Nothing at all. You want to keep crying but you also want to move forward.
“What do you get out of helping me then...” You wait for his name.
“Peter Parker.”
“Parker? What do you get?”
“Dunno, good consciousness?”
You laugh, you genuinely laugh. He’s helping someone for the sake of helping someone, it’s not every day you run into someone like this. Not at all. You shake your head; he has to be joking. Maybe your faith in humanity has been lost after all. Because you’re pissing yourself at someone who’s just trying to help you. Your walls are up high. Higher than they ever have been because of your ex-roommate now, especially. This was the first time you’d been cheated on and he did it with her and then they both lied about it. They both led you on. You thought you were making friends. Turns out you were wrong.
But accepting his help reluctantly? It was the best thing you ever did for yourself.
To this day Peter still doesn’t know that you’ve been cheated on twice. Just the one. But you didn’t need to tell him. As you looked into his eyes you didn’t need to tell him anything at all. You didn’t owe him that so now why does it feel like you do? He’s unwillingly shared a secret about himself with you all because of circumstance. It’s not everyday things like that just happen. It’s not everyday someone who lives with you is a superhero, vigilante, border lining on both? You are standing across from watching as he pulls off his suit and you have to remind yourself that you’ve seen this before but now it feels different. He’s in a pair of boxer briefs and it’s exactly like summer. Where he would walk around shirtless in a pair of shorts. So why is this different? Why is it fucking different?
You want to run but all you can do is look at Peter. Watch him. You shake your head, pulling yourself away from watching Peter’s body. Pulling yourself away from any thoughts you were beginning to have about changing things. Pulling yourself away... like you always seem to do. It’s funny how things have changed so drastically in the past few weeks. It’s as though you and Peter have been fighting this for a long time, even though it’s nothing such. You thought you hated Peter till you found him half dead in his room.
Peter, though? Peter wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt the day he met you. That’s all he ever wanted to do. But you made that hard for him. You made it so hard because you keep pushing and pushing and pushing him away. From the moment you met him that’s all you did. Constantly and now, Peter was getting tired. It’s not like Peter never hated you, but it’s not like he did. He did dislike you, but he also loved what he hated about you. How stubborn you were. How funny you could be. How nice you were to everyone but him. How you were a genuinely nice person, but he hadn’t been on the reciving end of that. Not at all.
None of your friends knew about this whole situation between you and Peter. MJ had no idea that your feelings for him had been morphing into something else over the past few weeks and you had no intentions of her finding out because all her, Harry, Felicia, Gwen and literally everyone else in your group had wanted. For you and Peter to be friends.
Yet, the two of you were in a constant battle of hate and love and as you can feel that battle beginning to end. That battle getting closer and closer to the finish line. You can’t help but wonder... why are you running?
You shake your head at Peter, “I’m not running, Peter.” You’re lying – you both know this is a poor attempt at lying because you have nothing to run from... not anymore.
Sure, Peter had said things to you. But you had said things back. It was a war and a battle, and those things are going away. There have been less fights over the last few weeks and everyone’s noticed. Yet, nobody has said anything. Your heart is telling you that everything is okay. That’s it’s okay to accept Peter as your friend... or something more.
As fucked up as it is, you might love him. It’s a thing you can’t really explain. A feeling that has been burning in your chest for a while. You don’t know whether you should be upset with yourself for allowing yourself to fall for someone you’d been arguing with for a long time. A person who’s said nasty things to you out of spite and anger and jealously. Because if anything Peter had been jealous and when you saw him with someone else you wanted to be that other person. You had been jealous too. Maybe it field the hatred even more.
Maybe the two of you actually deserved each other. Maybe you should stop running from him. Maybe you need to stop running from him. As he looks at your eyes, he moves closer. He’s stalking closer and closer and closer to you. Towering over to you. You can smell the mint in his breath. He brings his hand up to your chin, bringing your eyes up to his. His breath hot on your face.
“Yeah... you are, y/n.” He sighs, “I don’t care anymore. I need you to know that I can’t hate you anymore. I can’t do it anymore. But if that’s what you want. If that’s what you need, I’ll do it. As long as I get to speak to you as long as I get to be near you.” His eyes are brimming with tears now and so are yours, so desperate for you to know that he’s done with this.
“If that’s what you need... I will continue to hate you. I will never speak to you like this again, but I need you to be sure that you want that. I need you to be sure. I need you to tell me you’re sure you want that.”
You don’t wait for another second before standing on your toes and pressing your lips against Peter’s. They’re soft and plump and you can taste some of the salt from his tears, but he presses against your lips harder. Even though he’s pressing against you, he’s still gentle and careful with you. He’s still treating you like china. The way you needed to be treated. Gentle and loved.
His hands move down to your waist as he moves you towards his bed. Shutting the door behind him. His kisses are softer and there’s more of them. But his lips make their way to your neck, trailing soft kisses down your jaw first, moving lower and lower and lower and you moan gently as they touch your sweet spot, the space at the bottom of your neck and in the dip of your collar bone. Your heartbeat quickens as he brings his lips back up the same path. Probably giving you a hickey somewhere in that vicinity, but you didn’t care because Peter’s lips land back on yours and he pulls away for a moment.
“What do you need tonight, y/n?” He asks you, gently, softly. His eyes full of love and care and everything you’ve ever wanted and needed since the first day you met Peter. Since the first day you met Peter Parker, you’ve hated him and despite all odds he is the one giving you the love and care that you’ve always needed and desperately wanted.
You’re on the brink of tears as you look up at him as he hovers over you and you bite your lip trying to hold them back, “I just... I just want you, Pete. I need all of you, please.” You mutter softly and he smiles, nodding.
“I- yeah, I can do that.” He presses another kiss to your lips as his hands reach for the hem of your shirt, “Can I?” He questions you, requesting your permission.
You nod, “Yeah, you can.” You smile, you try to hide the fact that you’re excited to be doing this with Peter. Because so much has changed in the past few days and it’s killing you, it’s killing you that you didn’t do this sooner because this is everything you want. This is what you want.
You don’t want some stranger. You don’t want some guy from the club that you danced with for five minutes while plastered drunk. You want someone you can trust. You want the boy who stares you down in jealously as you dance with someone else because he wants to be that person with you and now that he is dancing with you in this intimate and hungry way that the two of you both desperately wanted. You couldn’t imagine it any other way. You don’t imagine how you could’ve hated Peter because he’s making you wet to your core and somehow, he’s been on your mind 24/7 since you’ve found out that he was Spider-Man. He’s been a constant thought in your brain because you really do care about Peter Parker and you didn’t believe it then, you couldn’t believe it then. But things were changing well off before that you and you were just too blind to see that.
You are wet. You are so wet for Peter it’s embarrassing. Your core is dripping, and you think if he takes off your panties it might drip down your inner thigh and he’s done absolutely nothing but kiss your neck. He’s not even come close to even touching you.
You sit up a little so he can take off your shirt properly. He discards it onto the floor, and you forgot you weren’t wearing a bra, he stares down at you, his eyes widening before he gives a little smile. His warm hands caressing your waist, sending a shiver down your spine.
“God, you are so beautiful.” He murmurs against your lips, and you smile against them. Why is he the one making you feel this good? Why did you wait so long for this to happen? You’re regretting everything you’ve ever said to Peter. He’s treating you like you’re the only person in the whole entire world. As though you are the person of his dreams... and that’s because you are.
Even when Peter hated you, you were a part of every single thought. The number of times he had thought about smashing his lips against yours to get you to stop talking were astronomical. The number of times he had dreamt about you regardless of what the context of the dream was were other worldly. He had always thought about you. There were things that reminded him of you daily and it was something of these dreams that he was having.
Your hands run down Peter’s body, finally feeling where the gash had once been, scar gone, he was completely healed and as he continued to press his lips against yours, your hands were cold and daring against the warmth and heat of his body. You were addicted to the way his warmth radiated off him. Everything about him was intoxicating to you. How he smelt like cinnamon and wood. Your lips are still on his as his hand cups your breast. Fondling with your nipple as it goes hard. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to feel. Good.
Because most men aren’t good at sex. But Peter hasn’t even started to fuck you and he’s already going to make you cum just by touching your boob. You’re getting drunk on him already.
Sadly, his lips come off of yours, and he trails kisses down your body, in between your boobs, his hand coming off and moving down to your waist, making you shiver once more. His lips end up at the waist band of your tiny shorts.
“Can I?” He questions you and you’re embarrassed. You’ve never been eaten out before. You’re not so sure why he’s focusing all his attention onto you, but you also want to make him feel good.
“Peter, you don’t have to do that. I want you to feel good.”
“But this will make me feel good.” His fingers slide underneath your waist band and you grab his hands.
“Look you don’t, I want you to do whatever will make you feel good and-”
“Have you never been eaten out before?” He questions once he realises how scared you actually are, and you shake your head.
“Let me show you how good you can feel, y/n. Those other boys, they didn’t treat you right. They used you. Let me show you how good both you and I can feel.” He says softly.
You nod and smile, unsure but willing, “Only... only if, you’re sure.”
“I’m very sure... if you need me to stop. If you don’t like it. Tell me.” He says stern, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”
You smile and nod, “Okay, I want this, Peter. I want you to feel good.”
Peter pulls your shorts and panties down, his finger running against the slit of your pussy, his eyes flick to the clock beside you, worried that his friends are going to come home and catch you in this compromising decision. He doesn’t care but he knows you do and all he wants is for you to feel okay. Peter decides that you have enough time for this. That you both have enough time for this.
“You’re so wet, baby.” He mutters quietly, pressing a kiss to your slit, getting just a garner of your taste, how you taste so sweet and delicious against his tongue. He could remember this. He wants to remember this. He doesn’t want to live off anything else but you and how sweet you are.
Peter dips his tongue inside of you, your legs spreading slightly and his head in-between your thighs. You watch him as he devours you. His tongue doing laps around your clit. How he’s circling it with his tongue. How he sucks on it lightly and other time a little harder than before. He’s moaning as he tastes you and so are you. Throwing your head back, biting your lip, tiny pants coming out of your mouth making this better than Peter ever thought it could be as he continues to stroke your pussy with his tongue. There are kitten licks and then long and slow strokes that only leave you begging for more. Begging for him so completely, needing him so fully and whole. Your whole body jerking forward as he makes you ever so sensitive against his tongue. You want to scream as your back arches against his face, your hand running into his curls as though there is nothing you need more than this. As though you could never feel this good again. He slides a finger into you without warning and you don’t care at the point because you’re drunk.
Fuck being plastered on vodka shots – this is better. This is what you needed. You’ll remember all of this. You’ll continue to remember this and hopefully get this again so many more times. The squelch of your pussy filling the room is not missed. He’s kissing your pussy, his tongue moving faster and faster and you feel like you’re going to reach your breaking point at any moment. That hot feeling burning the bottom of your stomach and your pussy getting more sensitive as he continues to suck and lick and kiss your pussy. Lapping and drinking all of your juices, fucking feral for you. Devouring you like this is his last meal and all you need to do is cum.
“Fuck, Peter!” You moan softly as your back arches once more, his fingers pushing you against the edge as they press onto your g-spot, pushing deeper and deeper against you guiding you to the orgasm you so desperately needed from him.
When he pulls away you can see this mouth is glistening with you, his lips are red and plump, his hair a mess, a goddamn fucking mess and he presses his lips to yours, letting you taste how good you are. You moan against the kiss as you feel Peter’s cock in his boxers slide against your pussy. You groan softly.
“Peter, please.” You beg carefully, “I want you to fuck me, please.” You murmur against his lips. Your hot breath against his mouth as both of you are now panting. You palm his cock through his boxers, “Please, Petey.”
The nickname turns him on. God, the nickname turns him on, and he presses a hard kiss to your mouth before standing and taking off his boxers. Grabbing a condom from inside his drawer and that’s when you finally get a look at his long and thick cock. You’re not sure how long it is but every thought that had ever entertained you about the size of his cock was derailing your expectations, because whatever you expected? It was not this. He slides the condom on and joins you back on the bed.
His lips falling back onto yours in drunken heat, both of you are totally plastered on sex. The smell of the room is arousal. The air is thick and all you need is him inside of you at this point. You’re not quite sure if you’ll survive if he doesn’t stick his cock inside of you.
Peter’s finger runs against your sensitive clit again, but he slowly lifts your legs onto his shoulders, as he sits on his thighs. He looks down at you, and how your face contorts as he sticks his cock inside of your anticipating hole that’s still reeling from your last orgasm. But even so you are desperate to cum again and again and again as long as it’s Peter giving it to you. He’s slow at first, moving carefully as though he’s going to hurt you, but when you moan it’s the green light to go a little faster, to move his body against yours. His hips bucking against yours, he groans as he continues to move into you. The slit of his cock presses against your g-spot as he starts dripping pre-cum into the condom. His finger runs over your clit as he continues to pound into you. Your bodies moving like fluid. The way the two of you are so in sync of what you want and how you want it.
“Faster, Peter, please.” You throw your head back and close your eyes, your mouth open as you moan, your tits bouncing right in front of his eyes as he watches how beautiful you are. How you are both so raw in this moment. You’re all he’s ever needed – all he’s truly ever wanted.
Peter does as you say and moves his cock in and out of you faster and faster. Pressing into you, his cock covered in you and all Peter wants to do is taste you again stick his tongue in you and devour you. God, he remembers the taste on his tongue so fucking well. He keeps fucking you senseless. His cock pounding in and out of you and you’re almost numb from the feeling of his sex, you’re drunk, definitely fucking drunk.
Peter’s fucking you so hard, shoving his large cock inside of you, filling you. Filling you so deep and so much. You’re going to cry because of how good you feel, and Peter can feel how your pussy is starting to pulse around his cock. Starting to tighten, around his cock. Your pussy throbbing because of him as you feel your stomach fill with the same fire.
“Fuck Petey, fuck, I’m gonna cum!” You moan loudly as he continues to fuck you so endlessly.
“That’s right, baby, cum for me, c’mon.” He says and it’s enough to push you over the edge as you reach your final orgasm. Your body curls in slightly and jerks forward slightly, Peter can feel himself getting close and as he rides you off of your orgasm, you can feel it too. His cock twitching inside of you, desperate to cum. He pants softly as he continues to pound into you. Feeling that same fire as he watches your tits still bounce and the way you look right now sends him over the edge as cum fills the condom. You’re sweaty, your skin glistening in the soft light of his room. The lamp in the corner amplifying all of your most stunning features. Peter gently takes your legs off of his shoulders as you yawn, snuggling into his sheets.
“Y/n, you gotta go pee.” Peter mutters softly as he presses a kiss to your forehead, “You did good, baby. So good. I hope I made you feel good.”
Peter cleans himself up and you shake your head, “Too tired...” Another yawn escapes your lips and Peter smiles down at you.
How did he ever hate you? Against all odds, he never thought this is where the two of you would be tonight. Peter thought he’d be asleep, and he thought you would be slaving away at your creative writing project. He’s heard you talk about it, but he’s not sure how that’s going for you.
You feel a strong pair of arms lift you up as Peter puts you in one of his nerd shirts, and he’s got a pair of pants on now, regardless, he slides his arms around you and carries you to the bathroom. You never realised how strong he actually was... then again, he is Spider-Man. Peter places you down as you reluctantly go to pee.
It’s funny... how he cares for you after all of this. How despite all the arguments the two of you are now something strange. But one thing’s for sure, you definitely do not hate Peter Parker anymore and he doesn’t hate you.
When you stand and finish peeing those same arms are carrying you back to your room... but that’s the thing, you don’t want to go back to your room, you want to stay with Peter, “Peter, can you... can I? Can you stay with me?” You mutter into his chest.
Peter freezes for a moment, the unusuality of the situation is finally setting in, but he obliges. He doesn’t know exactly where this puts the two of you. Over the past few weeks hate has left you. Jealously had taken over Peter at some point and the two of you had kissed twice – not to mention just had sex.
“You don’t have to.” You whisper into the warmth of him, “But I want you to.” You say meek. Your voice is tiny, and Peter wants to keep cradling you in his arms.
“I’ll stay.” Peter decides, before continuing, “I’ll leave in the morning, so nobody finds out, okay?”
You nod, “O-okay.” Peter sets you down on your bed, before joining you, his arms sliding around you.
When your roommates get home your door is closed and so is Peter’s they think you’re sleeping as far apart as possible. Never did they think or know what would be going on behind your door. If they found out, they’d think they’d enter an alternate reality.
It’s a few weeks later and Peter is making pancakes in the kitchen. You wear one of his shirts to bed. Nobody’s really noticed because it’s plain and white, but you sneak up behind him. Wrapping your arms around his torso, engulfing him in a hug. He laughs as you do so, kissing your hand before tending back to the food.
You kiss his back, the way his muscles shine in the morning, so defined. Peter feels this as he cooks, placing some more batter onto the frying pan before turning to you, pressing his lips on yours – it’s still early in the morning so the two of you are able to get away with this. Peter lifts you up by your legs and places you on the kitchen counter. The smell of pancakes and the taste of your lips are stimulating his senses.
“Petey, what if we get caught?” You laugh against his lips as his hands pull you closer. He’s tucked in between your legs as the cold of the counter sends a shiver down your spine.
He shakes his head, “We won’t, either way ‘s okay.” He continues to press his lips onto yours and your hands make their way into his hair – the pancakes are long forgotten as he pulls you closer to him if that’s even possible at this point.
Peter’s mouth begins to move down your jawline, down your neck, leaving kisses everywhere he possibly can. His hands moving from your waist to your thighs, underneath that large shirt of his that he just loves to see you wear. How you look so sexy in anything you wear will forever be a mystery to Peter. How you look so beautiful all the time will also be a mystery to the boy. Peter’s hands move into your hair and your tongues finally intertwine, the warmth of his hands pressing against your cold skin underneath his shirt as he finally reaches the sides of your boobs, gripping onto your sides. You moan against his lips, so desperately needing more than this. Your core beginning to drip.
How does he always do this to you?
You thought the morning would go differently. You didn’t think you’d be making out with your boyfriend as he cooked breakfast. Something was so nice about how domestic the situation was, as though the two of you were living a life together alone.
As you felt Peter just touching you. Being with you. You smiled against his lips, and he pulls away for air, “What’s wrong he questions?”
You laugh, your arms falling over his shoulders, as you tug on the nape of his neck, pulling him closer, “Nothing... I just- I really like this, Pete. You and me.”
He nods, and you finally get a good look at him. His lips are plump and red. His hair is a mess. He’s stunning – beautiful and he’s yours. He’s your boyfriend. It overwhelms you and it overwhelms him, but you place your lips on his after your short confession. He smiles against your lips.
The pancakes are now burnt and the two of you don’t hear the door to Harry and MJ’s room open as you laugh against his lips in happiness. The two of you completely and totally in abyss, pulled away from the world and absolutely in your own. If you got told you’d be in this position a couple months ago, you’d probably laugh. But now you were laughing for all the right reasons.
... and you worry about him. You worry about Peter every night that he goes out. You worry about Peter when he doesn’t text you good night or knock on your window to tell you that he’s home from being Spider-Man. You worry about Peter when you go to these parties, and he disappears in between. You’ve stopped drinking as much so if you need to you can go home and tend to his wounds. Because you care about him. You care about Peter Parker.
Part of you thinks you always cared. If he did die who would be there to make fun of you? Or say some nasty shit that would send you reeling? That’s what it was before. The worry that your greatest enemy would be gone. But now it’s different.
Who will make you feel better about yourself? Who will you tell good news too? Who will kiss you better? Who will help you get rid of your writers block because this story? It’s a story worth sharing. Who will hold you when you’re crying in the middle of the night? Who will make fun of you as you cry at a stupid animated movie (or Revenge of the Sith, which against all odds, Peter had gotten you into Star Wars)?
These things... Peter. He’s changed your life. Sure, for the worse. But that was before. That was before you let yourself fall for him in every single way possible. He was someone who lit up your life and everyone could see that you had been happier... that you had been changing.
... and Harry Osborn had just figured out why. As he watched two of his close friends kiss, who had still been throwing weird insults at each other over the past two months, he finally realises why your banter has been off. Why you in particular, have been happier. Because you’ve found someone.
You found someone that’s made you love and it’s a weird sight to see his best friend making out with the girl who supposedly makes his life hell. It’s so fucking weird. But he can’t blame you. He can’t blame Peter either. The two of you were bound to let this happen. There was always a weird tension around the two of you and Harry was happy that the two of you got rid of it.
MJ wakes up, stirring as she walks over, almost falling because of how dizzy she is and as Michelle looks over at the kitchen counter, she looks to her boyfriend, with a soft groan, “Am I still dreaming?”
He shakes his head, “No... you’re not.”
You laugh against Peter’s lips as he finally notices the burnt pancake on the stove, “Shit!” He says softly and you throw your head back laughing once more. Watching him as he tries to save what’s been long gone.
Harry and MJ aren’t sure what’s going on but what they do know is that there are two people in love in their kitchen.
... and they’ve overcome so much.
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gayerthanevertbh · 6 months ago
Illicit Affairs - Part 2
A/N: oh my god i am so sorry for not updating, i’ve been lazy and busy but this part is a little short? i think lol but i still hope you enjoy!
Summary: You and she both agreed that it was just a whole “Friends with Benefits” some type of thing until you fall for her. You fall so deep that it hurts you to see her being in love with someone else.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: smut; pet names; that’s all?
Word Count: 2.76 k
Taglist: @karmsgxrl @thatonebrazilian​​ @d14n4ol​​ @strangegardentaco​​ @lainjupi​​ @19jammmy​​ @how-to-disappearrr​​ @yeux-sur-la-lune​​ @bepisbeansprouts​​
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
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not my gif!
It’s officially been two weeks since the last time you saw or even talked to Natasha – for two reasons. One, your feelings increase more than it shouldn’t. Second, she was extremely busy due to an emergency at the Avengers or some sort.
The woman liked it whenever you’re clingy, so that means she expects a message every day from you; until you actually don’t message her. You were reading your book at night in your bed until you hear the vibration of your phone on the nightstand.
Groaning, you grabbed the electronic device and saw 5 messages from the woman. I love playing this type of game.
Natasha: I hate it when you don’t text back.
Natasha: Are you busy?
Natasha: I know I’ve been very busy, kotenok. But, I appreciate a single message from you.
Natasha: send me a voice message?
Natasha: Getting impatient.
You giggled and find it adorable when she’s the one who is the clingiest of the both of you. Sighing out of laughter, you placed your phone back on the nightstand and continued reading your book.
You’re reading this book called Normal People and it kind of defines your relationship with Natasha – somehow. It was just all about sex, nothing more than that. Although you are loath to think that she’s using you for it, you don’t think so anyway.
Feeling tired, you decided to put your book away, and time to go to bed, excited for more messages that Natasha will send to you.
The moment you rise from your sleep, you immediately grab your phone to check the messages that your friend has sent you. To your surprise, it was a lot.
Natasha: I’ve been very horny for you.
Natasha: I know you’re awake, message me right now or you’ll regret it.
Natasha: That’s it, I’m calling you.
*missed 4 calls from Natasha*
You typed your fingers on the device and replied:
You: heyy:( sorry, i just woke up and i’ve also been reading for the whole night. X
Natasha: Kotenok, you should get better at replying to me. You know I hate it when you disobey.
She knows what she’s doing. You thought to yourself and sent a picture of you in bed, your comforter shielding your body away in the picture.
Not even 30 seconds later she replied:
Natasha: Teasing me, princess? Send me your titties I want to see them.
You: Demanding much? No, I have to go to work.
Natasha: Absolutely not, darling. You’re mine for the whole day. Go look at your front door.
“What?” You wondered to yourself and got onto your feet, rushing towards the front door quietly – so that Kate wouldn’t wake up, and opened it. Your eyes widen at the woman who has been standing outside for god knows how long.
“Hi, detka,” She smiles politely and kisses your forehead with gentleness in it. You felt your heart and stomach fluttering at the gesture. “Did you miss me?”
“Of course I did,” You added while you got comfortable on her chest. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Not too long, I just wanted to surprise you that’s–”
“So are you two together?” Kate, I love you, but you’re ruining the moment. You turn your head and your attention span was on your friend.
“No,” Natasha interjected with quietness in her tone. “We–We aren’t together. Y/N is a special friend.”
Kate squints her eyes seemingly and gives an “ah” sound, her eyes averted back to you and slowly smirks. You feel Natasha’s hand linger on your waist and pull you dangerously close to her.
“I made mac n’ cheese,” Kate says awkwardly while bringing her fingers on the back of her neck. “Poor Natasha, Y/N hasn’t let her in. Go on roomie, your guest must be itching to go inside of our humble abode.”
Chuckling, you brought Natasha inside of your cozy home with your hand intertwined with hers – feeling the gush of excitement firing to your loins. You sat beside her on a small circular dining table as Kate brought two small ceramic bowls of mac n’ cheese, the sight of the smoke filling the air.
“This looks good,” You added while munching on the food with your mouth boiling, making you blow out the hot air from your lips. Natasha giggled from the sight. Can this woman stop giving me butterflies in my stomach?
After a quick breakfast at your house, Natasha brings you back to her little apartment at Manhattan Square, feeling energetic or some sort. You’ve lost count of how many times she has brought you to the same apartment she lives in, and you wonder how it still feels like the first time going in.
Her apartment was small but very spacious. There was a single long white couch and across from it was just a normal screen TV that was on the wall – not big and not too small. Alongside that, there was a small dining table that has two chairs only across from each other. You think of how lonely her apartment was, it was like seeing a dead person’s house.
You were so out of your mind that you feel Natasha’s lips grazing against your naked neck, nipping at the skin gently as possible – making you let out a strangled moan that she always loves to hear over and over again.
“God, I’ve missed you,” She dangerously whispered at the back of your ear and firmly grabbed your hips to pull her against you, your buttocks were pressed against her pelvis tightly.
“Natty,” You breathed out – earning a hum from your friend.
“My little kotenok, always so desperate for me,” Her hands were now on both of your breasts and gives them a tight squeeze. “I can’t stop thinking about these naughty thoughts, you’re just so fucking pretty whenever you’re all submissive for me. It’s pathetic.”
Dirty talking was nothing new for Natasha, she was gladly an expert through it. She loves saying those nasty things that could keep you up all night and you loved every bit of it, if not, addicted to it. You feel her hips begin to roll against your body and softly push you on the couch, your front falling on the cushions.
Her lips possessively attack your back, your clothes and panties were already discarded from her hands that seemed to not get off you. She roughly palms both of your cheeks and slaps the other side with a loud smack!
“Oh, god!” You yelped in pleasure.
“Do you want to disrespect me again, little one?”
“No,” You whispered while you feel your left cheek very warm. “I won’t disrespect you anymore. I’ll be such a good girl, I promise, Natty!”
She smirked, appreciating the sight behold her twinkling green eyes as she kneads onto your ass softly but aggressively; the possessiveness taking over her.
She takes off her tight pants along with her black lacey underwear, and your whole bottom was in between her legs. Is she going to hump me?
“I want you to stay quiet or else I’ll stop,” She threatened while kissing your neck softly, letting out a moan. “And stay still. Mommy will take good care of you.”
She thrusts into your ass with a loud guttural moan that made you even more aroused than ever. You hold onto the cushions tightly, your knuckles are turning white from the pressure as she leans her front closer to you, her head in your neck as you feel her pant against your skin.
“Such a good fucking girl, huh? Do you love it when mommy takes you like this, you little slut?”
You just nodded, you were too stunned to speak. And if you did, you’ll get another smack from your friend which you don’t complain but you love it when she grinds down onto you like some maniac in heat.
“Be a good girl and come for me, come on,” She begged while her hips are thrusting on you quicker than before. Her fingers are digging down onto your pussy. “You are so hot, come for me.”
“When’s your next mission?” You asked timidly while playing with the strand of her hair, looking at her green eyes that shined through the light outside of her room.
“In a month, I’m assuming,” She replies with a small smile on her gorgeous face. She’s so beautiful and I’m just nothing to her. “We can go have dinner tomorrow? I’m not free today, Wanda is inviting me to the building.”
Your heart fell as you heard the woman’s name that came out from her lips. It’s not that you despise the Witch, in fact – you damn wished that it should be you other than her because what can you not give that she gives to Natasha? Your body and friendship is the only thing that Natasha wants from you.
Not you, not your love, nothing romantically.
And it fucking hurts like a bitch.
“Oh,” You said flatly while sighing. “Have fun, I guess.”
She felt your disheartened reply and shakes you a little until your eyes went back to hers. “That wasn’t a nice response, are you okay?”
“Y–Yeah!” You said with a nervous reply, suddenly feeling your back with sweat. You’re literally the dumbest person ever, Y/N. “Sorry, I was very dozed off. Of course, I understand, tell me all about it once you come home later.”
“Okay,” She said, convincing herself that there was nothing wrong, and kissed your hair tenderly with her soft lips. “You know, we should go out sometime. As friends, of course.”
You just feel like your soul has just left your body whenever she keeps bringing up her friendship with you. This is what you hate most about yourself, you’re falling for someone who you could never have. Natasha sees you as this person in the most platonic way but your eyes speak with feelings. Undeniable feelings for her – and it’s ridiculous how she can’t see that, she’s a spy.
“Why not,” You whispered and kiss her chest and earned a satisfied hum from Natasha, who’s holding you tightly from her embrace.
“I love you, Y/N. You are definitely my favorite person than everyone else.”
I wish I was yours completely.
You are currently back home after a quick hang out with Natasha – who wouldn’t shut up about Wanda – and you finally thank the heavens that you’re in bed at peace, until Kate fucking Bishop bursts into your room like some kind of psycho.
“Your hickeys are so obvious, please cover them up!” You laughed audibly and watch your friend flop on the mattress beside you, feeling it dip. Kate lifts her head up and uses her elbow as her leverage on the bed, looking at you with her signature squinted eyes.
“So, what happened there?”
You laughed again, “What do you mean?”
“With Natasha you dumb fuck.”
“Oh,” You tilt your head a little and tap your chin with the tip of your finger. Sighing, you replied: “We had sex.”
“And that’s all,” You said, lifting your eyebrows in confusion. “What else is there?”
Kate laughs at how confused you were that she almost fell off the bed. My god why am I friends with her. “You did not seduce her?”
“I mean–”
“If you really like the woman you should! Do you love her?”
You didn’t hesitate to answer that question. “Yes, I do, frankly.”
“Then seduce her,” She tells you while sitting up on the mattress, making yourself be in the same position as her. “Send her like a nude pic, tease her. Oh and also, flirt with everyone, especially when it's someone specific.”
You felt awfully dumb because this has never crossed your mind once, ONCE. And here’s Kate being more of a smartass than you, it makes you cringe to yourself but she was right. If you love someone, you have to get them to love you back. It feels too childish, but you like it. You like childish shit.
I hate myself but whatever.
“You have a point,” You sighed and hold your ankles with both of your hands. “I don’t take nudes… I’ll try though, plus I don’t think she’ll appreciate that.”
Kate snickered, “Um, I think she would. Have you seen the way she looks at you? It’s so lustful and devouring… I don’t know, it looks like she’s looking at you the same way you look at her.
You tilt your head once again and furrow your eyebrows. She was looking at you in a different way? You were quite taken back by her comment that you almost lost your balance.
“Really?” You asked in disbelief.
“Yeah,” Kate said in an obvious matter, waving her hands in the air. “You’re just so blind, so I do think she’ll like that. And I promise you by the end of the day, you’re hers.”
What if it doesn’t work? What if she still doesn’t want you? Of course, you want to do it naturally because it’s healthier that way so you decide not to seduce her that much. If she wants you, she’ll find her way to want you. But you need to get the span of her attention of course.
“You’re quite smart.” You remarked while playing with your nails, a bad habit.
“I know.”
You and Kate hung out for the rest of the night, talking about how it was going to be planned, and watched a movie that didn’t make sense to the both of you.
At 2 in the morning, you were in deep sleep that you didn’t hear your phone buzzing on your nightstand. You woke up groggily and grabbed your phone, the light making your eyes squint.
You see one message from Natasha and your heart suddenly felt warm.
Natasha: Has anyone told you that you’re the prettiest girl in the world? You should hear that every day and every minute, you deserve it.
Quickly, you typed on your phone and hit send:
You: are you drunk texting?
Natasha: Of course not, my darling. I meant every word I said, kotenok.
Your thoughts wandered if Natasha did like you, just a tiny bit, but you hated being the idealistic person you are. Although we don’t lose faith, right? Your quiet laugh died down until you felt your phone buzzing again, making you more awake.
Natasha: I had sex with Wanda.
You clenched your throat and feel your eyes begin to water as you placed your phone back onto the nightstand, your body suddenly feeling heavy from what she has said. You never thought that this was a very painful feeling, especially from a woman who never feels for you the way you do. You let out a very quiet sob, rethinking the words she has typed out. I had sex with Wanda. I had sex with Wanda. I had sex with Wanda.
You’re a total loser for being so incredibly in love with Natasha. It’s like this one scenario when there’s a popular person in school and you’re that nerdy loser who’s in love with the popular girl or something. It’s pretty cliche, not going to lie, but you’re in that position in life right now.
Falling in love was so different because it was just only you who was playing the game, she was never in it. So, in general, that’s technically your fault – not hers. But, how can you not fall in love with a person who treated you like a person?
The next morning, you never bothered opening your phone. You just kept going on your day as if nothing happened. Kate noticed how quiet you were throughout the morning and didn’t talk to you much, considering you probably need to be alone. It was a cool morning, the coldness hits on your skin perfectly well as you took a walk outside of your house, getting your mind completely off Natasha. You see two to three people alongside you, watching a couple having their arms wrapped around each other that makes you want to gag.
Going to your local coffee shop, you can’t believe who you just saw.
Wanda and Natasha, on the line, hand in hand.
This day could get any worse.
658 notes · View notes
tokrxv · 4 months ago
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bonten! Haruchiyo Sanzu x model! fem! reader
mature language, slightly mature content, pregnancy, mention of drugs, smoking, cheating, lying, betrayal, guns, very heavy angst, life of delinquency and fame… 17+
⟿ words count: 2.3k
series masterlist┊ previous chapter
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They say, that people are bad. They call us senseless, cruel creatures, but is that the truth? Are we really bad people, or are we just people who make stupid decisions? Are we really senseless creatures, who do nothing else besides destroying? And what if we didn’t make those decisions and took different paths. Would the outcome be different? Would it be better?
The words from earlier kept repeating in Haruchiyo’s mind, and memories — memories, Haruchiyo thought he buried behind him long ago began darkening his mind.
Haruchiyo was drowning in the world of remorse.
You are pregnant and he is the father.
But he cheated on you.
A mistake. A stupid little mistake.
That’s what he did: a mistake, that changed your and his life forever.
Haruchiyo hated it — what he committed. It disgusted him and he knew, it shouldn’t. Haruchiyo had no right, to feel the way he felt. To regret what happened. It was him, the person who was the reason behind this mess. He is the one who ruined every beautiful moment between you. The one who shattered the beautiful future that was on the way. He had no right to feel sorry for himself.
Yet he selfishly did.
Isn’t it funny? How we do stupid things then regret it? How we create a poison, then are the ones to feels its effects? Haruchiyo truly created a poison, that he then got to taste himself.
His heart was full of regrets,
Regretting something, that was never supposed to happen.
What time was it again?
Haruchiyo had no idea where he was, or what was even happening. One thing he was certain of, is that he wasn’t with bonten members anymore. Their voices, once clearly audible, now completely disappeared, replaced with the ticking of the clock hanging on the plain wall beside him.
From the smell of liquor and smoke, Haruchiyo deduced, that he is most likely in a club. The laughter of people echoing in the background confirms it.
Beams of moonlight enter through the window, warming Haruchiyo’s pale skin and through his lids, closed shut, he gets, that it’s most likely night time.
Just what is he doing here?
A weight — a weight settles on his lap, taking him by surprise.
He feels a hand bury in his hair — beginning to mess his cherry blossom locks. It creates such a gentle sensation, Haruchiyo finds himself relaxing to the tenderness of those unfamiliar fingers.
Next comes a pair of plump lips, breathing on the skin of his neck softly. Haruchiyo’s hands fly to the person’s hips and he pulls the figure closer to him. A whimper is then heard.
It’s a woman, he registers — a woman Haruchiyo does not recognize. But he knows she isn’t y/n.
His hands begin to explore her body and under his pads, her skin feels smooth, warm. The woman begin kissing him. Her lips are so sweet, soft like cotton. They move in perfect sync.
‘Stop.’ A voice screams in his head — warning him.
He should, he really is trying, but he can’t.
this is wrong. He thinks. This is so fucking wrong, but he is unable to put this to an end.
Push her away —
but he pulls her closer.
Stop kissing her —
But their lips are collided like glue.
Haruchiyo has lost control over his body.
and Haruchiyo has lost you…
When he gets slapped, it’s like he woke up all over again. His vision, once blurry, now becomes clear and Haruchiyo comes back to his senses, realizing what the actual fuck just happened. The contact of a palm on his cheek creates a hot feeling on his skin and Haruchiyo doesn’t have to look up, to find out, who is standing in front of him.
Because he knows it — really well.
And he is ashamed, as he understands what he just did.
Haruchiyo mumbles, as if trying to ask for a chance — an apology, but the word, a word, that used to bring you joy, is now running like poison through your veins. Haruchiyo shouldn’t have whispered that.
And when you spit on him, he basically gets stabbed in his beart — realizing , how low he has become in your eyes.
This is the end.
An end of a love story.
A love story shattered by a man you loved and trusted more than anyone. A man, who decided to betray you.
Haruchiyo did something unforgivable.
“Follow her and you are dead”
A gun is pointed to Haruchiyo’s head, deep voice whispering from behind. It’s a voice Haruchiyo recognizes very well. His jaw clenches at the sentence.
“I have always wanted to kill you Sanzu.”
Haruchiyo swallows hard. This was not planned.
In front of him, he sees you fading into darkness.
He couldn’t follow you. Not when ran was standing behind him, blocking him.
When their eyes meet, there is an unreadable expression painted on Ran’s face. He looks ‘dangerous’, reckless. One wrong move and he wouldn’t hesitate to blow Haruchiyo’s brain.
But Haruchiyo does not care anymore. His blood is boiling, sweat running down his forehead. He is angry, sick — sick of his mistakes, of himself, sick of this world. Death doesn’t scare him anymore.
And that’s when he looses control.
“Ran, you fucking piece of shit, I’m going to kill you.”
Listen you two, if I see you fighting one more time I won’t hesitate to kill you. Mikey threatens the two men standing in front of him — bloody lips and beaten faces, The bonten boss glances at them one last time, before pointing at the door.
“Now get out of my office.”
It’s an order — Manjiro’s order. If it’s said, it has to be done. They don’t even try to argue, leaving the room quickly.
In the hall, the two don’t even glance at each other, walking side by side quietly. There wasn’t anything to talk about.
These two just had a fight. And it was because of Haruchiyo’s stupidity.
Maybe punching Ran was wrong. But he couldn’t stay calm. He couldn’t admit that he was wrong and to be honest? Ran took it a bit too far as well.
“Have you talked to y/n?” Ran’s voice echoes from the backseat — Haruchiyo, who is currently driving the car, tenses at the mention of your name, hands tightening around the steering wheel.
It was painful — memories of you visiting his head. Haruchiyo knew that he needed to have a word with you, it was the right thing to do. He still haven’t got a chance to explain himself after all, to remove the dark feeling of guilt from his heart. But the problem didn’t lay here — Haruchiyo knew, that there was absolutely no way, you would want to listen to him.
“I haven’t.” He answers honestly, but the sentences comes out as a forced whisper. Taking a quick glance at the man sitting behind him, Haruchiyo finds Ran there, legs splayed out and arms hanging boringly, as he stares at Haruchiyo with a mocking face.
“Well, maybe you should.”
His words are accompanied with a chuckle and Sanzu doesn’t miss the teasing smirk on his face. It was humiliating — the way Ran kept making fun of him, acting, as if he owned the world (which was, but of course, Ran’s nature) and Sanzu hated it — hated, how the older haitani kept butting in problems, that weren’t even his. Jaw clenching hard, Haruchiyo felt like he was about to burst in any minute.
The car stops at a red light, and before Ran gets to realize what is going on, a cold metal is pointed to his forehead — a familiar feeling, making him swallow hard.
“Tell me what to do again, and Imma blow your brain.”
Perhaps the gun pointed to his head really scared Ran, as he now becomes completely quiet, lips still and a faint expression on his face. Ran knew, that Haruchiyo wouldn’t hesitate to kill him.
They stare at each other with poisonous orbs, eyes fixed on one another and the air in the car becomes heavy — intense.
It’s like a game, a game bonten members are familiar with: removing your stare means your loss and of course, there was no way, they would let that happen. That’s not until Haruchiyo lets out a surprisingly loud sigh, his hold around the weapon weakening and Ran is surprised, when the gun, once threatening his brain, now lands on his lap.
He stares at Haruchiyo lost, speechless, and he would be lying, if he said, that he wasn’t worried for him. Haruchiyo’s looked different — face pressed to the steering wheel, lids closed shut. He was unusually quiet.
“Do you have feelings for y/n?”
Ran’s eyes widen at the harshness of his tone. The question is unexpected, he finds himself backing off a bit, panic bubbling in his veins. It scares him, the way Sanzu looks back at him. This time, it’s different — his eyes are much more venomous.
“Sanzu I—“
“Answers the question.”
It’s not a question. It’s a strict warning, Haruchiyo is mad, frustrated, and Ran knows, that the man in front of him is dead serious right now. Messing with him would not be a good choice.
“I do”
And he hears it.
Two simple words. Three letters.
Those are more than enough to shatter Haruchiyo’s heart into pieces, sending him into the world of guilt again.
He knew it.
Ran was always so obvious — teasing him about his ex girlfriend and getting mad at Haruchiyo for hurting her? He should have realized it from the beginning.
It was never about protection, only about love.
Or maybe Haruchiyo already knew. That day, when he beat Ran — perhaps he did it out of jealousy — of fear, that Ran would steal his love from him.
A part of him wanted to kill Ran for it, but another part couldn’t help it, but wonder — what if that’s how it was supposed to be from the start? Maybe it was Ran who deserved to be with her after all.
“Your girlfriend — ex girlfriend…” Ran mumbles and as expected, he can’t quit adding those unnecessary notes.
“She is pretty and nice, but she’s not for me.”
Haruchiyo’s eyes grow wide at Ran’s confession. What is that supposed to mean? ‘Not for him.’ He wasn’t sure if he didn’t understand Ran properly, or if the older haitani was simply trying to be mysterious — annoying instead.
“What the fuck is this supposed to mean?”
He shoots in a mad voice and Ran lets out a chuckle. Hand placed on his chin, he stares out of the window boringly.
“I wanted her…” He admits. “I was jealous of you — I was. Your girl — she was pretty, famous, rich. She was a strong woman. But you know, sanzu? that day, when she ran out of the club, I realized something. That woman… she isn’t as strong, as she seems to be.”
Ran glances at sanzu with hurt eyes and Haruchiyo could swear he could feel salty tears forming in his eyes, because those words hit hard.
“She is a sensitive person who needs love, you know?”
And It’s a bitter truth. Yes, that was who you were and he was aware of it, yet he failed to make you happy.
“Y/n wouldn’t be happy with me. I’m only a man who likes sleeping with other women. I don’t want any feelings attached and that would hurt her.”
Ran was so honest, it made Sanzu feel guilty. Unlike him, Ran was careful. He didn’t want to break your heart. And Haruchiyo? — He did something, he never wanted to do.
“She still wants you, Sanzu.”
The words were most likely, just empty promises, trying to make bonten’s number two feel better. There was no way, this was true. It didn’t make sense. It didn’t, but still — Haruchiyo, felt it. A feeling of hope, because maybe, just maybe, you were still longing for his closeness, as much as he did.
“Okay, now what is this.” Haruchiyo lets out an annoyed groan, stopping the car, when he spots a huge crowd of people in front of him. The street is basically blocked and it’s irritating — loud screams and cameras everywhere: simply a mess, that Haruchiyo was not in the mood for.
“Ran it seems like they are shooting something, we need to—“ He begins, but before he gets to finish the sentence, Ran is already flying out of the car, hands in his pocket, as he wanders off somewhere alone, leaving Bonten’s number two behind him — confused and tired.
‘That stupid haitani…’ he mumbles before following him.
“Ran, we need to go.” Haruchiyo taps on Ran’s shoulder, raising his eyebrows in surprise, when he finds a group of young women standing in front of him.
This man… he is flirting again. It was something Haruchiyo — everyone was used to and they absolutely despised it. An annoyed expression appears on Haruchiyo face and it’s very obvious. Haruchiyo grabs Ran’s arm with so much force, it causes the member to yelp.
“What the fuck do you think are you doing? Mikey gave us a mission.” He whispers — screams, in Ran’s ear, irritated, but the Haitani replies with a wide small on his face — a type of smile, that Haruchiyo absolutely hated. Just how could ran be so light-hearted?
“I told not to call me that.”
“You won’t believe what these nice ladies told me.”
Ran sounds so happy it’a weird. What could make him so happy, to a point where he isn’t even bothered by Haruchiyo’s piercing stare? Maybe one of the ladies accepted to join one of Ran’s little ‘games’ or maybe—
“Zuzu, these cameras and the crowd. Can you guess who is here?”
And suddenly, it feels like the whole world had flipped over. It’s like Haruchiyo was splashed with a wave of cold water.
He knows exactly what the older haitani is talking about. He knows who is here, only a few steps away from him and the thought is making his heart pound fast.
579 notes · View notes
genshinluvr · 4 months ago
Seal of Disapproval
Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader
Summary: An AU in which you have a boyfriend, but the fifteen men do not approve of him at all. In fact, they all hate him and want nothing to do with the man. If the men have a hard time accepting your relationship with another man, then why are you still with him and what's stopping you from breaking up with him?
Note: I know this is posted later than expected, so let's pretend that it's posted on a Saturday. Took me a while to type this out because I have a lot going on in school right now, and sometimes it'll make it hard for me to be able to type something down. The only reason why it took me a while to get this story published is that I have to manually tag people ;v; I wish Tumblr made it easier to tag people in posts ;o; Also, thank you for over 900 followers! I'm happy that you're all enjoying my writing! :> To my new and returning readers, I post on AO3 as well, so if you have an AO3 and see a work similar to this, it’s me (Aaliah_exo on AO3). I don’t post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Mentions of cheating, the reader is going through heartache :( the men hates your boyfriend for valid reasons. Hints of jealousy.
Word Count: 7.1k
“I don’t like him at all; I can’t stand him.” Ayato huffs, crossing his arms over his chest with a deep frown on his face.
“He’s not… fit for someone as amazing as [Y/N],” Albedo mutters, crossing his arms in front of his chest with a quiet sigh.
“Why are they dating him in the first place?” Venti whispers loudly, only to get smacked upside of his head by Scaramouche and a harsh “shhhh!” from Xiao.
“Be quiet, or else they’ll hear you, idiot!” Xiao scowls, glaring over at Venti.
“Why can’t [Y/N] date one of us instead of him?” Kaeya grumbles, peeking from the bushes.
“He doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as [Y/N],” Diluc mutters, shaking his head with a tired sigh.
“Am I allowed to get rid of him? And by getting rid of him, I mean disposing of the body after he has “mysteriously” disappeared.” Childe asks, his hands clenched in tight fists.
“I believe that we shouldn’t spy on [Y/N] while they’re on a…. date with their boyfriend,” Zhongli says, leaning against the wall he was hiding behind.
Everyone was watching you from a respective distance, hiding behind buildings, trees, and bushes. They knew that you had a boyfriend, and they were not happy about it at all. Before you met the fifteen men, you met another man first, and he has captured your heart, and you have captured his heart (or at least you thought you did). At first, everything was going well! Sort of. To you, it seemed like it was going well, but to the men, it was not going well at all. 
Sure, this man “cared” about you, but he didn’t seem to care about you as much as they do. If you were to be in danger or have gotten hurt, who was there by your side immediately when the incident happened? The Genshin men. Who were the first ones to arrive if they were to hear that you have fallen off of the docks and into the sea? The Genshin men. As for your “boyfriend,” he wouldn’t even show up, nor would he respond to your messages until two weeks later (or longer), thus throwing you into a spiral of fear and anxiety. The Genshin men hated how much fear, pain, and sadness this man had put you through.
“Anyone with eyes can clearly see that their relationship isn’t going to last long.” Dainsleif spats, glaring daggers at the unsuspecting male that was sitting across from you.
“I don’t like how he’s looking at [Y/N],” Gorou grumbles, a low growl rumbling from his chest. 
“He doesn’t seem interested in [Y/N] at all,” Kazuha mutters, staring at the black-haired male with his eyebrows narrowing.
“Where did [Y/N] say he was from again?” Itto asks, looking around at the others.
“Nothing. [Y/N] told us that they don’t know much about him even though they’re in a relationship.” Scaramouche’s face pinches up with disgust.
“How are they in a relationship with one another when one person knows more about their significant other than the other person?” Thoma grumbles, 
“Ah, ah, ah! [Y/N] said that they’re not in a relationship; they are exclusively dating.” Baizhu interjects, and Changsheng hissed with laughter.
“Poor thing doesn’t see the fact that their significant other is using them.” Changsheng hisses, curling herself around Baizhu’s neck.
“Exclusively dating? What the fuck is that?” Scaramouche cocks his eyebrow, placing both of his hands on his waist.
“Wait, what’s the difference between being in a relationship and exclusively dating someone?” Itto asks, his head tilted to the side with confusion.
“It’s a subtle difference. Exclusively dating someone gives people the benefit of acting like a couple without actually being a couple.” Childe grumbles, quickly peeking from the bush before looking back at the others.
“Oh, so, they’re not actually a couple at all.” Diluc hums.
“I still don’t get it.” Gorou sighs, his shoulders slumping.
“It just means that they’re not in a committed relationship just yet.” Ayato shrugs his shoulders.
“There are restrictions when it comes to exclusively dating someone. [Y/N] cannot talk about their partner’s past, mention their potential future together as a “couple,” and they need to keep distance from their…. Partner.” Zhongli says.
“Yeah, that is definitely not a relationship at all,” Kazuha mutters.
“I don’t understand why [Y/N] considers it as a relationship whenever he never gives them the time of day.” Dainsleif sighs softly, looking towards the direction where you were sitting with your partner.
“Poor thing.” Venti frowns.
“[Y/N] really cares about him, but he never made an effort to do anything for them. Not even the littlest thing!” Thoma scowls, crossing his arms over his chest.
“[Y/N] should just dump his pathetic ass and date me instead!” Kaeya smirks.
“As if they’d choose someone with a flirty personality,” Xiao grumbles, rolling his eyes at Kaeya’s ridiculous suggestion.
“Oh archons, [Y/N]’s walking in our direction!” Albedo alerts the others. 
Immediately, they all look in your direction with wide eyes. You approached them slowly with your arms over your chest. They’ve been spotted. Once you’ve stopped in front of them, they all slowly came out of their hiding spots, looking at you sheepishly. Your index finger was tapping your biceps while your tongue was poking the inside of your cheeks, waiting for their excuse as to why they were spying on you and your boyfriend. Oh, dear archons, you look like a parent ready to scold their disobedient child.
“[Y/N]! What a coincidence! We didn’t think we’d run into you in Narukami Island!” Baizhu says, giving you a fake smile, hoping you wouldn’t notice the slight anxiousness that was radiating off of him and the others.
You then simply said, “I told the fifteen of you that I was going to go and hang out with Akuma at Narukami Island.”
“Ah, is that so? We must have forgotten about it.” Zhongli hums, stroking his chin with his right hand while his left arm is behind his back.
“Akuma is his name? It fits him quite well,” Itto says with a fake smile plastered on his face.
Childe leans down to Kazuha before whispering, “What does Akuma mean?”
“Akuma means demon,” Kazuha whispers back, holding back a smile.
Xiao snorts, “Itto’s right. It is quite fitting for a man like Akuma.” 
“I can see horns sprouting out from his head.” Thoma comments, placing two of his hands on his head with both of his index fingers sticking out. Ayato covers his mouth with his right hand before snickering at Thoma’s imitation of your “boyfriend.”
“So, what do you know about your boyfriend exactly?” Diluc asks, looking at you curiously.
“Well, he has two older sisters, and he’s part of the shogunate samurai.” You reply, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet.
“Oh….” Gorou coughs, not knowing how to react to your response.
“Oh, so he’s useless.” Scaramouche snorts, rolling his eyes.
“Scaramouche, hush!” Venti nudges Scaramouche’s side with his elbow, giving you a stiff smile, hoping that you didn’t hear what Scaramouche had uttered. 
“While we all agree with that, just don’t say it in front of [Y/N],” Albedo whispers to the electro user.
“What else do you know about him?” Kaeya asks, looking at you curiously with his head slightly tilted to the side. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion with your cheeks puffed out as you looked at everyone around you. They all seemed curious and a little bit antsy. While you have no issues with telling them more about Akuma, you didn’t understand why they needed to know more about Akuma.
“And why would you guys want to know?” You look at Kaeya in confusion.
“Akuma is dating someone we all hold dear to our hearts. Is it bad that we want to know more about the man that has stolen your heart?” Ayato asks, gazing at you softly.
“I don’t know much else about him.” You blurt out, your cheeks heating up with shame and embarrassment.
“What do you mean by that?” Dainsleif asks, raising his eyebrows at you.
“He doesn’t give me much information about himself or his life. Just the littlest things.” You reply, looking away from the others. It was embarrassing and sad. While Akuma knew plenty of things about you (aside from the fact that you’re not from this world), you knew almost nothing about him. Just simple things about him. How many siblings he has, what’s his current occupation, and that was pretty much it.
“And what are those little things exactly?” Baizhu asks; you shrugged your shoulders.
“The things that I’ve told you guys so far are the only things I know about him.” You crossed your arms over your chest, wishing that a hole from the ground would open up and swallow you up entirely. 
“And how much does he know about you?” Kaeya’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion.
“Just the general information about myself. Akuma knows me way more than I know him.” You reply, brushing your hair away from your face.
Diluc questions, “Does he know that you’re not from Teyvat?”
You quickly shook your head in response, “No, no, no! He doesn’t know that I’m not from Teyvat! Archons, I don’t think I would ever tell him that.” You laugh nervously, fidgeting with your hands.
Venti and the others sigh in relief, “Whew! That’s a relief!” Venti says, placing his hand over his heart.
“I mean, even if I do tell him that I’m from another universe, he wouldn’t believe me at all.” You said.
“Why be with a visionless NPC when you can be with us vision holders instead?” Itto asks, puffing his chest out with a smug smile.
“Yeah! He’s visionless; he can’t protect you like how we can protect you!” Childe argues with a small huff of frustration.
“What’s he going to do? Shove a polearm up of his enemies ass?” Scaramouche snorts, earning tiny chuckles and giggles from the others. Even Xiao was holding back his snort by looking away after clearing his throat.
“I have an inkling feeling that all of you don’t like Akuma.” You sigh softly, throwing your head back.
“What makes you say that?” Thoma asks, his voice going up a pitch higher. Thoma’s eyes widen as he slaps his hands over his mouth, cheeks turning bright red.
“Is it that obvious?” Xiao asks, blinking at you.
“I did not know that Thoma’s voice would go up a pitch higher when he lies.” Gorou mused, tapping his chin with his index finger.
Ayato nods his head, “He has tells whenever he tries to lie. It’s hilarious.” Thoma glares over at Ayato before lightly nudging him with his elbow. A loud laugh accidentally escapes from Ayato’s lips. Ayato covers his mouth and ignores the glare at the Kamisato retainer had shot in his direction; Ayato’s shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.
“Why do you guys not like him? You’ve never met him before or spoken to him.” You look away from the men with your arms over your chest. Even though you’re exclusively dating Akuma, you couldn’t help but feel like you were getting the short end of the stick in the “relationship.”
“Well, first things first, you don’t know much about him despite being friendly with one another for quite some time now.” Zhongli answers.
“This is going to hurt your feelings, but it doesn’t seem like he’s at least a little bit interested in you,” Albedo says, giving you a sympathetic look.
“You deserve someone that is interested in you and cares about you.” Kazuha places a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“He looks bored when he’s with you and is only sticking around because he doesn’t want you to leave him,” Dainsleif says bluntly.
“Or find someone better than him,” Baizhu interjects, Changsheng nodding her head in agreement.
“Oh, so all of you can see it too. We’re all on the same page then.” You laugh weakly, your gaze falling to the ground. If it was noticeable to Zhongli, Dainsleif, Childe, Diluc, Xiao, Albedo, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Gorou, Itto, Ayato, Baizhu, Venti, and Thoma, then it’s really obvious to those around you and Akuma. Now you really wished that the ground would just open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Take you out of your misery and embarrassment.
“What do you mean?” Diluc was caught off guard at your response.
“I’ve always known that Akuma lost feelings for me or, well, never had any feelings for me.” You said, sitting down on the bench. Childe walks over to you and grabs you by your shoulders before shaking you.
“Then why are you still with his ugly, crusty ass?” Childe demands, staring at you in the eyes. “You could’ve been with me, the sexy 11th Fatui Harbinger, instead!” Childe added, jutting out his bottom lip. You hear collective scoffs coming from the men, their eyes rolling at Childe’s comment. The audacity he has.
“Yeah! Why are you still with someone that doesn’t even show that he cares about you?” Itto exclaimed, pushing Childe to the side and knelt in front of you. He grabs your hand and looks at you sadly.
“If we were dating, I would let the world know how I am very attracted to you,” Kaeya says, pushing Itto over to the side, causing the oni to fall over to the ground.
“We know things about you way more than he knows about you!” Venti argues, plopping down on the bench beside you.
“At least you know many things about us compared to your knowledge about Akuma,” Gorou added.
“What are you guys trying to say?” You shook your head.
“Oh, [Y/N]. Sweet, sweet, [Y/N].” Ayato sighs dramatically, approaching you and pulling you into his arms. Ayato rests his chin on top of your head while stroking your hair softly.
“I can’t tell if you’re being dumb on purpose or not,” Scaramouche murmurs, earning a slap on the back of his head from Childe. Scaramouche’s head jerks forward at the contact; he quickly whips his head around towards Childe’s direction with a scowl.
“We think it’s best that you and Akuma stop seeing each other,” Albedo says with his arms over his chest. You look over at the others; they nod their heads in agreement with Albedo’s comment.
“You’re better off with someone who genuinely loves and cares about you, not someone who only knows that you exist for their convenience,” Kazuha says, giving you a sympathetic look.
“But….” You trailed off, looking away from the people that cared deeply about you. Shame fills you. “I can’t do that.” You whispered.
“What?!” Thoma gasps, looking at you in confusion.
“What’s stopping you from breaking it off with that guy?” Dainsleif asks, his shoulders slumping down with defeat.
“Surely, you’ve thought about breaking up with him before, correct?” Zhongli states, looking at you with a questioning gaze.
Sighing in defeat, you nodded your head in response. “Yes, there are times when I have thought about breaking up with him before.” You answer, twiddling with your fingers.
“I’m sensing a “but” in your response….” Baizhu says.
“But I can’t get myself to do it.” You whispered; the feeling of shame was hanging heavily over your shoulders. 
“And why’s that? What’s stopping you from breaking up with a jerk like him?” Xiao asks, raising an eyebrow at you.
“I don’t really know.” You said, wishing you could just disappear already.
“Oh, that’s a load of boar shit.” Scaramouche scoffs loudly.
“You’re probably holding yourself back from breaking up with Akuma because you’re afraid of being alone again.” Said Dainsleif.
“Right, but [Y/N] won’t be alone at all,” Diluc says, looking over at Dainsleif and then back over at where you were sitting. 
“Yeah! They have us so that they won’t be lonely at all!” Itto exclaims, walking over to where you sat before placing a heavy hand on your shoulders.
“We’ll keep you company at all times, and we’ll make sure that you feel loved!” Gorou declares, a look of determination appears on his face after speaking.
“I’ll make sure [Y/N] knows how much I adore them,” Kaeya says, strutting up to you before reaching down for your hands, pulling you up from your seat and into his arms.
“Hehe, get in the line Captain Kaeya!” Venti says, giving Kaeya a fake smile before snatching you out of Kaeya’s arms.
“To ease your broken heart, we can provide distraction and perhaps easily fix your broken heart,” Albedo says, handing over a Cecilia flower to you out of thin air.
“Where in the Teyvat did the Cecilia flower come from?” Thoma mutters, looking at Albedo with wide eyes in awe.
“Perhaps he’s both a magician on the side, other than being an alchemist,” Ayato whispers to Thoma. Thoma nods his head at Ayato’s response as if it was the most reasonable answer that explains Albedo’s ability to summon a flower out of nowhere.
“Shall we prepare you for the many ways of breaking up with your boyfriend?” Kazuha asks, pulling out a pen and paper from his pockets. You looked at Kazuha with wide eyes as he began jotting down something on the small piece of paper in his hands.
“It's a haiku, isn’t it?” You ask; Kazuha looks over at you with a faint smile on his face. You knew the samurai was planning something. You weren’t much of a poetry type of person. Mainly because you didn’t understand poetry, nor could you come up with your own poetry. Even if you were to do so, it wouldn’t be as elegant as what Kazuha is coming up with on that piece of paper.
“Kazuha, even if you were to make a breakup haiku for me to recite to my boyfriend, I don’t think I’ll be able to execute it as beautifully like how you do.” You huffed, feeling Itto squeeze both of your shoulders lightly.
“You can be straightforward and tell him how you feel about the relationship. How you are unhappy with the fact that the relationship isn’t going anywhere and that the two of you hardly see one another. Despite one person wanting to see the other person more.” Zhongli offers.
“Plus, you have been putting more effort into the relationship than he is,” Baizhu added, the others nodding and murmuring amongst one another.
“Why would you want to be with someone who can barely protect you when you’re in danger?” Xiao huffs loudly, closing his eyes with discontentment.
“I-I don’t know.” You said, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I don’t think I can do it.” Childe groans loudly and throws himself at you, shaking you by the shoulders.
“Who cares about his stupid feelings! Stop putting his feelings before yours!” Childe exclaims, glaring down at you.
“How about this? We make you forget about him!” Itto grins widely; you look at Itto in confusion.
“And how are you going to make me forget about my boyfriend?” You ask, pushing Childe off of you before getting up from the bench with a huff.
“Easy! We show you how a real man should be treating their significant other!” Gorou chimes, smiling triumphantly.
“We? As in all fifteen of you?” You ask, looking at each and every single one of them skeptically.
“Yes, all fifteen of us!” Venti nods his head with a big smile.
“We will show you how we would treat you if you chose us over your deadbeat boyfriend!” Thoma brags, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk.
You stared at the men in front of you like a fish out of water. Mouth slightly gaped open, looking at them blankly. While you have fantasized about this situation before being transported into Genshin Impact, you never thought that you’d see the day happen.
“And how will this go exactly?” You ask.
Ayato pats your head with a small smile on his face. “You’ll see when the time comes.”
You didn’t know what Ayato meant when he said that, so you brushed it off before heading back to the abode with the fifteen men following behind you. Most of the time, you yearn to be with your boyfriend. You wanted to see him again and spend some time with the man that you care about. Every time you suggested going on dates or meeting up to spend time with one another, he would always tell you that he was busy with his job. Whenever you come up with things to do with your boyfriend, he would shoot them down without skipping a beat. Excuses after excuses, you feel your hope for the relationship shriveled away. The men watched your relationship with your boyfriend gradually wither away to almost nothingness. Akuma's constant rejection and excuses dimmed the tiny spark of hope you had for your relationship, and the lights were almost entirely out.
You didn’t want the others to see you in pain, emotionally. You swallowed your emotions and acted normal as if everything was okay. Nothing was bothering you at all, not even being able to see your boyfriend for however long. The last time you saw him was during the beginning of spring, but now it’s the beginning of summer.
“So, how are you and Akita?” Zhongli asks, gently blowing on his tea.
“Akuma.” You corrected, resting your head on your hand as you leaned on the table with a faint pout on your face.
“Pfft! Akita.” Kaeya snorts, hiding behind Diluc, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“Not even the renowned Mister Zhongli can remember the man’s name.” Baizhu chuckles, Changsheng hissing with laughter.
“Can’t blame Zhongli. Akuma isn’t significant to anyone’s life.” Diluc says, sipping on his grape juice.
“Are you still with the man that looks like a weasel?” Scaramouche asks, almost choking on his tea when Childe and Itto both elbowed him in the gut and side. Scaramouche glares at both Itto and Childe before zapping the two under the table. Childe winces and grits his teeth while Itto yowls in pain and abruptly stands up from his seat.
“Okay, before you guys start a commotion, yes, I’m still with Akuma.” You spoke up, earning collective loud groans from the men.
“I thought you broke up with him by reciting the haiku I’ve written out for you to say!” Kazuha frowns at you. 
“Kazuha, how am I going to break up with someone that barely talks to me?” You ask, frowning at the samurai.
“Ah, so your boyfriend hardly talks to you. That’s not a good thing in relationships.” Albedo says, sketching in his sketch pad.
“Yeah! What kind of relationship has absolutely zero communication?” Dainsleif crosses his arms over his chest with a look of disapproval on his face.
“Should we even call it a relationship at this point?” Xiao asks, rolling his eyes. 
The men murmured at Xiao’s question, shaking their heads. You slumped down in your seat with a silent exhale of breath, not knowing what else to say. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed and ashamed that you couldn’t get yourself to break it off with Akuma. As much as you wanted to break it off with Akuma, it was nearly impossible to reach out to Akuma. While you continue to defend Akuma and your relationship with Akuma, the men aren’t convinced at all.
“I don’t know what to do, really. I tried reaching out to Akuma to talk about our relationship, but it’s hard to try to get into contact with him.” You laid your head on the table, face facing down. “It’s like he had disappeared off of the face of Teyvat or something.” You muttered, closing your eyes.
The men said nothing in response. All you got was a comforting pat and rubbed on your shoulder by Gorou and Albedo while you continued to lament over your failing relationship. The next few weeks were the same. You were constantly feeling down about your and Akuma’s relationship, questioning whether you should confront him in person or not. You weren’t much of a confrontational person, but boy, you really want to interrogate him in person. Did he even see you as someone he cares about, or was he trying to use you in some kind of way?
What if he was seeing someone else because he got bored of you? What if Akuma is actually secretly married and you were a homewrecker? What if you were the side piece all along but never knew about it? Questions continue to circulate in your mind, causing you to have an emotional breakdown. You didn’t want the men to see you in your most vulnerable state, so you held back your tears until night fell.
There, you lay in your bed, tears staining your pillow as your body shook with cries. How many nights have you cried over Akuma again? Three days? Four? A week? To be honest, you’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve cried over someone who barely thinks about you. You were tired of feeling confused over your “relationship” with the man that claimed to care about you when he hardly proved that he did care about you. You thought that the others didn’t know that you tend to cry yourself to sleep because of some guy that they despise, but they know about it. But they didn’t want to scare you off or make you feel even worse about it.
Having enough of not doing anything, Gorou decides to sneak into your room once you’ve passed out from crying so much. The others didn’t know that he would sneak into your room at night to comfort you, but neither did you. Gorou closes the door behind him quietly before tip-toeing towards your bed, where you lay, completely knocked out with tears staining your cheeks. Gorou’s bottom lip trembles at the sight before crawling into your bed, laying down behind you, slowly pulling you into his arms, spooning you.
“Oh, [Y/N],” Gorou whispers, stroking your hair gently. “If only there were a way for me to take your pain and heartache away.” 
Gorou soon drifted off to sleep; his arms remained wrapped around your waist with your back pressing up against his chest. The very next day, both you and Gorou were startled away by someone gasping loudly. You cracked your swollen eyes open, only to see fourteen faces peering down at you and Gorou. Wait— Gorou?
“So that’s where you sneak off at night!” Itto exclaims, placing both of his hands on his hips. “You were sneaking off to cuddle with [Y/N] last night to win over their heart!” Itto accuses, causing Gorou to sputter at his accusation.
“[Y/N], why are your eyes swollen?” Venti asks, gently wiping the dried tear stain off your cheeks. “Were you crying last night?” His bottom lip juts out, forming a tiny pout on his face.
“Oh, uh….” You trailed off, not knowing what to say. Your throat felt dry, and your eyes hurt a lot from all of the cryings you’ve been doing for the past few nights in a row.
“Why were you crying?” Diluc frowns, sitting down on your bed. “What’s the matter?” Diluc asks softly. 
Immediately, you feel your eyes start to water at Diluc’s simple question. You don’t think you can hold back your tears much longer for as long as you’ve tried to hold them in. Your bottom lips quivered, and you ducked your head away from their sight. You feel warm salty tears start to cascade down your flushed cheeks. You hugged your arms around your legs and buried your face into your knees.
“Oh, don’t play dumb, Diluc.” Kaeya scolds his brother lightly, nudging his side. “I’m pretty sure we all know what the cause of [Y/N]’s tears is.” Kaeya crossed his arms over his bare chest. Diluc rolls his eyes at Kaeya before sitting down on your bed and gently pulls you onto his lap, his arms wrapping around your body. Before anyone else could complain about Diluc holding you in his lap, you lifted your head up and wiped your tears with the back of your hands.
“I’m tired of Akuma coming up with excuses to not talk to me.” You hiccuped, resting your chin on your knees.
“Speaking of Akuma, why are you still with him exactly?” Albedo raised an eyebrow at you. “The two of you talked way less compared to last time.” He murmurs.
“Yeah! Why are you still with someone you hardly ever see?” Scaramouche huffs. “The last time you guys have spoken or hung out was months ago, wasn’t it?” Scaramouche questions.
“I recommend that you cut ties with him right now,” Ayato says, crossing his arms over his chest. “He has caused you nothing but pain and heartache. There’s no need to keep someone like him around in your life.” Ayato adds, giving you a sympathetic look.
“How do I even break up with someone that I can’t even reach out to?” You sniffled while tears continued to roll down your cheeks.
“Don’t reach out to him,” Xiao states firmly, sitting down in front of you. Xiao reaches out and wipes your tears away with the pad of his thumbs. “He never deserved you, and he doesn’t deserve an explanation from you.” 
“We’ll help you get over him.” Thoma rubs your back with a sympathetic smile. “You deserve happiness, not pain and heartache.” Thoma grabs onto your hand and lightly squeezes it.
For the rest of the day, the men stuck by your side not only help you feel better but keep your mind off of Akuma. There are times when you accidentally mention Akuma, making Childe and Itto pout before complaining about how you shouldn’t say a forbidden name around them. Or how you shouldn’t speak about another man in front of them because it makes them feel jealous.
The men made it their mission to get you to forget about Akuma. They took you shopping (even though you were opposed to it), and they took you out to restaurants to eat and spend time with them (when did you never spend time with them? Other than whenever you hung out with he shall not be named). Needless to say, the fifteen men were successful in making you forget about the man that had caused you such heartache. Now, here you are, sitting under a tree in the abode. A picnic blanket spread out while you and the others sat on top of it, eating a slice of sunsettias.
“Here, try this; I think you’d like it,” Kazuha says, handing you a grilled unagi fillet. You took a bite out of it and hummed in approval. “Grilled unagi fillet is delicious, isn’t it? Although, I don’t think it’s as amazing as my specialty dish.” Kazuha says, grabbing a napkin and gently wiping your mouth with it.
“I like it! I’ve never had grilled unagi fillet before!” You hummed in delight, taking another bite out of the grilled unagi fillet.
“Maybe we should have a day where you try all of our specialty dishes,” Childe says, handing you a bottle of Dango milk. “I think you’ll like my specialty dish the most! After all, I am quite an amazing cook, if I do say so myself.” Childe says, smiling smugly.
“Careful; the more you brag, the bigger your head will get,” Baizhu says, earning a snort from Scaramouche and Xiao. “As if it’s not already big as it is,” Baizhu mutters, making Itto snicker. Before Childe could interject, Zhongli shoots a look at Childe, causing him to close his mouth before pouting. You chuckled softly and reached over to Childe, patting his head lightly. Childe immediately perked up at your touch, leaning into your touch like a touch-starved puppy. He lays his head on your shoulders, letting out a soft sigh and smiling in contentment. Childe looks over at the other fourteen men before smirking in victory while the others are fuming with jealousy.
“So, why are we having a picnic early in the morning? Don’t picnics usually take place in the afternoon?” You ask, wiping your hands on the napkin. 
“We believe that it’s the best way to start off the day before we head off to Inazuma for a festival that we’ll be taking you,” Dainsleif says, elegantly wiping his lips with the cloth napkin. “The festival doesn’t start until early afternoon, so we think it’s best to have breakfast before attending the festival.” 
“Oooh! I didn’t know there was a festival going on in Inazuma!” You gasped, looking at the men with wide eyes. “Why didn’t you guys tell me!?” A soft pout appears on your face as you take a sip of the Dango milk. Venti giggles and pats your head, snuggling up to your side right after he had shoved Childe away from you by burrowing in between both you and Childe. Childe scowls at the shorter male before sulking beside Zhongli while muttering cursed words that were directed toward the anemo archon.
“We wanted to save it as a surprise for you,” Zhongli says, sipping on his drink. “After all, you’ve been through a rough time, and we think you deserve to do something fun and festive to get your mind off of the many things that occupy your mind.” He gives you a small smile. You smiled shyly and hid behind Venti, the color red blooming on your face.
After having a breakfast picnic, everyone cleaned up and got ready for the festival that was being held in Inazuma. Since the festival is an Inazuman festival, Ayato had everyone wear yukatas to the festival. The one who protested against wearing the yukata the most was Itto, mainly because it was hiding his muscles, and Itto wanted to stand out from the rest of the fairgoers. The only reason why Itto gave in was because of the scary look Ayato gave him.
“Where’s [Y/N]? Are they still getting ready?” Thoma asks, adjusting his yukata.
“I think they are.” Baizhu murmurs and Changsheng hisses afterward.
“Maybe they’re having a hard time putting on the yukata,” Dainsleif commented.
“Oh! Well, if [Y/N] is having a hard time putting on the yukata, I volunteer to help them get dressed!” Childe raises his hand up in the air, the corner of his lips quirking up. 
“Not going to happen, Harbinger.” Diluc huffs, grabbing onto Childe’s wrist and forcing his hand down. Childe glares at Diluc before yanking his hand from Diluc’s grasp. 
“Yeah! It’s not going to happen, Tartaglia! We, Inazuman men, can help [Y/N] wear the yukata properly!” Itto cuts in, puffing his chest out with his arms across his chest.
“As if we’d let that happen.” Xiao rolls his eyes, and Kaeya nods his head in agreement.
“What makes you think our dear [Y/N] would want you guys to help them put on the yukata? Perhaps they want us to take it off of them instead.” Kaeya chuckles.
“Looks like Childe isn’t the only pervert in the abode.” Scaramouche snorts, ignoring the glare that Kaeya gave him.
“I’m done! Sorry for taking so long! I didn’t think it’d be this challenging to put on a yukata until now!” You huffed, rushing down the stairs.
“Ah, [Y/N]! Please be careful! We wouldn’t want you to trip and fall down the stairs!” Gorou panics.
“Gorou, I’ll be fi— Ah!” You yelped, tripping on your foot. Before you could stumble down the stairs, you quickly held onto the railing and caught yourself. “I’m fine! I’m okay!” You breathed a sigh of relief. You pressed your hand against your chest, finally reaching down the stairs.
“Gorou did say to be careful.” Ayato chuckles. You mumbled incoherent words as you fixed your yukata and your hair.
“Okay! Let’s go to the festival now! Sorry, I took so long.” You laugh sheepishly, looking away from the fifteen men with a bright red face. You didn’t hear a response. You looked at them quizzically, only to see them eye you from head to toe. “Guys….” You trailed off, tilting your head to the side. You looked so cute in your yukata! Very breathless and elegant despite almost falling down the stairs. You will definitely grab the attention of many festivalgoers with your beauty.
“The epitome of beauty, might I say,” Kazuha says softly, his eyes tracing the outline of your face and body, absorbing in your beauty. He wanted to savor the image of you for himself and no one else. If only there were a way to save a picture in his mind other than a Kamera.
“Are we going or not?” You laughed nervously, brushing your hair away from your face. The men shook out of their daydreams before nodding their heads simultaneously. A light pink blooms across their cheeks as the sixteen of you walk out of the abode. 
The lanterns were hung up; children were running, laughing, and screaming, and food vendors were advertising their food stands to garner more customers. Yoimiya was handing out sparklers to children while enthusiastically talking to them about what’ll happen later at the festival. You couldn’t help but look around in awe; this was the first time you were experiencing a festival for the first time! Well, a festival from Genshin Impact, to be more specific. The men didn’t let you take time to process all of the scenery in; they were dragging you from stall to stall. 
Although you don’t mind it at all, you wish you were able to be at least able to take in the image of sakura petals falling around the men gracefully. 
You’ve tried so much food with the fifteen men that you felt like your stomach was going to burst. The food was too good to pass up on! While Itto was happy that you were trying out so much food, the others were worried about whether you’ll be able to digest all of the foods or not. The men were standing around a game stall, cheering, screaming, and laughing as they competed to see who would be the first one to win a prize for you.
“I’m going to win that cute stuffed kitsune for [Y/N]!” Venti announces, smiling with pride as he tries to throw a dart at the balloon. Only to miss the balloon completely. Childe and Itto snort loudly, hunching over with laughter. Zhongli looks away, trying his best not to laugh.
“It looks like I will be the one to win the prize for [Y/N],” Kazuha says, grabbing another dart from the vendor with a smile.
You smiled at the sight of the men enjoying themselves. You sighed softly and looked away from them for a second, only to catch a glimpse of someone familiar. There stood Akuma and another person you had never seen before. Their face was hidden by a kitsune mask, but you could tell that the person was smiling at Akuma. Akuma lifts the person’s hand up and kisses their knuckle, interlocking his fingers with theirs. You feel your heart drop in your chest, your throat tightening. You quickly looked away from Akuma and the person, clearing your throat as you blinked away your tears. So that’s what Akuma has been up to this entire time. He was with someone else.
You hear someone call out your name. You looked towards the direction where the voice came from, only to see Albedo getting closer to where you stood. Albedo approached you with a smile on his face; in his hand was a kitsune plush.
“I won this for you!” Albedo says, smiling at you shyly.
“Oh, thank you, Albedo!” You said softly, giving him a small smile.
“What’s the matter?” Albedo whispers, looking down at you worriedly. You gave him a weak smile and looked back over to where Akuma and the person stood. Albedo follows your gaze; his eyes land on Akuma and the mystery person with a frown.
“Is there a problem?” Zhongli asks, walking up to where you and Albedo stood. You held the kitsune plush to your chest with a weak sigh, your shoulders slumping.
You quickly shook your head, “Nothing’s wrong. I think I overate.” You smiled weakly. Zhongli looks over at Albedo with a questioning look. Albedo motions his head to the left. Zhongli glanced over to where Albedo was gesturing; a deep frown appeared on Zhongli’s face.
“I see,” Zhongli muttered. Zhongli reaches over to you and pulls you into his arms, “Let’s get something to drink, shall we? Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” Zhongli says softly. You nod your head and let Zhongli walk you to the drink stand as Albedo walk to the others. Your head was resting on Zhongli’s chest as both of you went to grab something bubbly to drink to help you digest the food you’ve eaten. And to hopefully get your mind off of your now ex-boyfriend and the mystery person who is presumably his new significant other.
Akuma and the mystery person were having an idle chat when he felt someone tap him on the shoulders. Akuma turns around, only to see fourteen men standing behind him, their arms crossed over their chests. 
“May I help you?” Akuma asks, cocking his eyebrows at the men in front of him.
“Your name is Akuma, correct?” Diluc asks.
“That is correct. How do you know my name?” Akuma demands, feeling on edge.
“That’s enough information we need.” Childe smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Can we talk to you in private, Akuma?” Ayato asks.
Akuma glances over at his partner before slowly nodding his head in response. Childe and Scaramouche smirk before putting their hands on Akuma’s shoulders, dragging him away from the festival with the others following after them.
Zhongli strokes your hair as you lay your head against his chest, clutching onto the bubbly drink with the kitsune plush on your lap. While Zhongli was comforting you and wiping your tears away, the other men were occupied with…. Talking to Akuma. Zhongli looks over where the others are and smirks to himself, his amber eyes glowing at the scene of Childe slamming Akuma up against the wall, his fist bunching up Akuma’s yukata. The thirteen men stood behind Childe, hiding the conflict from the festivalgoers. At least your relationship with Akuma is officially over, with the help of the fifteen men.
Note: I was planning on posting this story around 11 PM, where I'm at, but because a lot of things got in the way, I couldn't get it done on time ;v; I do post weekly, so please remember that! ^^ Most of the time (until I get my associate's degree), my stories will be posted on a later day because of how busy I am. I will be accepting requests in June after my graduation! ^^ But pretend this was posted on a Saturday and not a Sunday. I'm trying my best ;v; The stuff that takes up my time the most is tagging people in my posts because I can only do it individually ;v; I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for "Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader" and my overall taglist: @plumpkie, @ehjane, @neilify, @jiminscarmex, @urcatbf, @emperatris-rinaka, @hello13576, @seppyco, @patata52, @dogloveri23, @tomansimp, @lilliansstuff, @permanent-antipathy, @kryloxen, @xiaosfirstandlastwife, @angryhope, @xxkatsusjinsux, @stygianoir, @ksjjkthpjm, @emerald-smile, @jixlem, @zhongloml, @simp4-fictional-men, @seymp, @who-is-saylynn, @bananazzzen, @dai-tsukki-desu, @chihawari, @wolf-chan2134, @skyelightwood, @honeybedo, @chaosinanutshell, @the-blob-fish, @the-dendro-archon, @crazyrichdaughter, @universal-rose, @pencil-of-ashes, @hey-comrade-hold-still, @margraveth, @ayolk, @ayazaraxia, @thelost-in-time, @samarill, @beepboopisguilty, @bakuhve, @mikiwylds, @girlvrs, @c-camellias, @cherrycat.exe, @jaisithebird, @trash-queen-af, @mouchie, @jgydeservedbetter, @goldeneclipsedragon, @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff, @lordbugs, @fiannee, @sweethcnvy, @thedivinepriestress, @yukima
Taglist Google Form [here], Masterlist [here] (Tumblr isn't letting me tag any more people, so some won't be tagged :/ )
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calummss · 8 months ago
Pink | Thomas Shelby
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summary: you’re caught in a crossfire and make the ultimate decision to sacrifice yourself for thomas shelby; the man you can’t live without
pairing: thomas shelby x fem! reader
words: 1.5k
a/n: heavily inspired by my fav book couple (hence why i put a scene in. all credit goes to danielle lori), mila and ronan. the bitches that get it, get it, the bitches that don’t, don’t
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‘Ada, wake up.’ Tommy burst through the door. ‘You and the baby get into the Bull Ring, where there's lots of people.’
‘What's going on?’ Ada’s heart sank when she saw Tommy’s expression, knowing something serious had happened.
‘We've been fucking betrayed. Someone let slip. Kimber's men are on their way here.’ His hand glided over the temple, pushing back the nervous sweat pearls that were about to be released. ‘All the Lees are on their way to Worcester. We're outnumbered.’
If there’s one thing Thomas Shelby hated it was disloyalty, not having the upper hand, and Scottish whisky. Only a few men remained in Birmingham whilst the rest of the Peaky boys and the Lees made their way to Worcester. Tommy was outnumbered. And as Billy and his pack of men grew closer, Tommy’s nerves almost collapsed.
Tommy gathered the only men in town which were himself, Arthur, John, Freddie, Charlie, Curly, Lovelock, Scutboat, Danny, and Jeremiah.
They were more than outnumbered, but Tommy made sure that Billy would be out-gunned.
Both parties approached each other. Guns held high in the air to make their enemy quake in fear; heavy, coordinated footsteps to feel the power pump through their legs; their families on their mind in case they didn’t get home in time for supper.
‘You were saying something about being out-gunned.’ Tommy threw his arms to his side, the rest taking the order to draw up their guns as multiple clicks echoed through the empty street.
Billy’s men responded by mirroring their actions. Heavy grips on their weapons, their fingers concealing the trigger, waiting for an order.
This whole event was unexpected, but was even more out of place was when your small, soft yet frightened voice erupted from behind the Small Heath men.
‘Tommy, what is happening?’ You carefully walked through the muddy ground.
Tommy felt like the plug that powered him, his mind, body, and soul, was being pulled out with a hefty tug. His head whipped back to see you and your pink dress he loved so much, walking towards him. His knees could’ve given in right then and there. The woman he loved so much, the very thing he would do anything for, the woman who was not supposed to be anywhere near his business and violence was walking into a deadly zone.
Anything pink reminded Thomas Shelby of you. Your innocence to his business he did everything to not get you involved in. The pink dress he slipped off your body to worship the skin underneath. The pink flower that sat upon your hair the day he arrived back in Small Heath after everything was destroyed, and the King sent him to his deathbed, but there you stood. A ray of sunshine that immediately warmed his cold, hardened heart, and made it a tiny bit more bearable. It was pink that grounded Tommy. Pink that kept an ever blooming flower in his heart. Pink, that was so much more than just a colour.
‘Everyone is gone.’ You continued towards him, not knowing the real reason. ‘It’s like one of those western movies and holy shit.’ Your voice grew quieter as your eyes fell upon the dozens of men that stood across from Tommy's eight.
Tommy pulled you behind him with a force that barely let you stand on your feet when you collided with his tensed back. His eyes filled with nothing but pure darkness stared into your face but got pulled away when another feminine voice appeared behind him.
Ada walked past Kimber’s men with Karl in his buggy. Black lace covering her face.
‘Have you lost your mind?’ Freddie’s face fell.
‘Shut up! Now, most of you were in France. So you all know what happens next. I've got brothers and a husband here but you've all got somebody waiting for you. Now, I'm wearing black in preparation. I want you to look at me. I want you all to look at me. Who'll be wearing black for you? Think about them. Think about them right now. And fight if you want to, but that baby ain't moving anywhere. And neither am I.’
Your grip tightened on Tommy’s coat, pulling yourself closer to him. This was real… Men were pointing guns at each other with the intent to kill and out of every possible event that could’ve rolled to your feet it had to be this one.
‘She's right, you know.’ Kimber’s annoying voice stung like piercing needles. ‘Why should all you men die? It should just be them who's caused it.’ And within a second he pointed the gun at Tommy.
Tommy grabbed you and cradled your head into his white shirt, his heart beating against your temple.
‘NO!’ You yelled.
You couldn’t lose Tommy. Tommy could continue his life without you. No more tiptoeing around you with his business and deals, no more chills running down his spine just at the thought of losing you. But you couldn’t live without him, as romantic as the cliché goes, but if Tommy died a part of your heart would break off and tip you over the edge of a cliff.
You shoved him away from your body just as the bang sounded.
Then everything went silent. It was cold, wet, quiet, and so very dark.
‘Y/n, wake up. Fuck.’
Tommy had nothing but commands aimed at you like arrows ever since you decided to pursue something more with him. But this request wasn’t a demand. It was a need. You had to wake up.
Thomas Shelby was a strong-willed man with an even stronger mind. He never showed emotions unless they were needed, or for you. No one outside of the Peaky Blinders knew of your existence and the connection you had to Thomas—because you were his weakness. The one thing he would end an entire war over. If you got as much as a single scratch on your porcelain-like-skin, nothing, not even his honour could save the person that made it happen.
‘Why the fuck would you do that, Y/n?’ He growled with a deep rasp. ’WHY?’
You could feel the shakiness of the car as you saw the scenery pass your eyes.
‘You’re not a god,’ you whispered, your throat tight as you struggled to get words past your adam’s apple. ‘I didn’t want you to take that bullet just so you could protect me again.’
He stared at you with a mixture of disbelief, anger, and something else you couldn’t quite make out. If you could roll your eyes at that present moment you would’ve.
‘You don’t get to sacrifice yourself for me.’ He clenched his teeth. ‘You don’t get to die for me.’ His nose flared in anger. ‘If anyone dies between us, it will be ME. Do you understand?’
You didn’t understand why you couldn’t, so you shook your head. Why was Tommy allowed to let you live but not him? Tommy had a purpose in this world and it just got started. Why on earth were you not allowed to die?
‘Then let me make it clear for you,’ he said, the darkness in his eyes fuming. ‘You would survive without me. You would move on.’ His tone roughened. ‘I can’t imagine a world where you and all your fucking pink doesn’t exist. So if you die, you’ll take me with you. Your sacrifice would mean nothing!’
Your chest tightened as a tear escaped your eye. It was still so cold, you could feel the trembles that had taken over your body.
‘I’m so cold, Tommy…’ Your eyes felt like they weighed a ton each, so you closed them, an instant wave of relief washing over your barely conscious mind.
‘No,’ Tommy growled, grabbing your face with both of his hands. ’Don’t fucking close your eyes.’
When the car came to a stop, Tommy along with someone else rushed you inside. A nurse came running towards you as Tommy lay you on a bed.
A surgeon came running down the hall, his face painted with exhaustion and a tint of fear as he stopped in front of Tommy and you. This man was definitely forced to run faster than a cheetah or otherwise they probably threatened to blow his brains out.
In the distance you could hear the familiar sound of Arthur. Stating people to make way.
When the surgeon tried to stop Tommy from entering the OR room, he pulled out his gun from beneath his coat and pointed it at the surgeon’s head and any staff that stood around you.
‘If she dies, you die too.’ He grit his teeth as the surgeon swallowed uncomfortably and signalled Tommy to stand outside in the waiting area. ‘If she as so much has a lowered heartbeat by one, I will make sure everyone in this fucking building burns to the ground.’
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jenozzen · 5 months ago
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kiss mission | jeno x y/n
a college au with campus playboy lee jeno trying to win over the heart of y/n.
synopsis: jeno the heart throb of neo tech who has girls chasing him all the time decides to make it his mission to get you to kiss him. the only problem is that you despise jeno, but jeno is always up for a good challenge.
genre: enemies(?) to lovers, mature, suggestive
warnings: very suggestive scenes, use of profanity, mature readers only, minors pls dni
song inspo: dua lipa - one kiss
word count: 2.8k
a/n: happy may! wrote this as a way to get myself out of writers block, so I’m presenting this to you as a gift for the first of may! this has not been proofread! read part 2 here!
hope you enjoy!
“do you know who will never go out with you?” haechan teases jeno as he passes him a can of beer. jeno glares at him with a judging look, “who?” a smug smirk appears on haechan’s face as he reveals to jeno “y/n”. ah, haechan was right there. for some reason, y/n absolutely despised jeno. she claimed that boys like jeno were a waste of time and she would never fall for someone like him. jeno was known to be a heart throb and basically the #1 fckboy of neo tech. girls were absolutely infatuated by him, his good looks and charming personality always won them over easily. you on the other hand did not fall for any of that, in your eyes jeno was a walking red flag and maybe you were right. you wanted nothing to do with him and did everything you could do to avoid any contact with him despite being in the same department and classes as him. jeno hates the fact that you can’t stand him, he’s so used to girls chasing him but you were different and that sort of made him want you even more. you know what they say, people don't like to be told that they can't have or can't do something and too often the thing you want the most is the one thing you can't have. that’s how jeno felt about you. It also got on jeno’s nerves that haechan was always rubbing it in his face that you don’t like him, it was hurting his ego a lot. “I bet I can get her to kiss me by the end of this semester” Jeno suddenly suggests, feeling slightly competitive - haechan to scoffs at his so called bet “ok and if you do then I’ll cook for you for a week” “make that 2 weeks” jeno demands back which haechan easily agrees to (because there’s no way you would kiss jeno in such a short time) “ok loser, deal”.
It’s as if the universe is cheering on jeno right now because the following day he finds himself to luckily be paired into the same group project as y/n. you was absolutely infuriated because 1) you hate group projects, who doesn’t? and 2) jeno was infamous for always being lazy in group projects. you truly felt like bad luck was following you these days. you were in fact currently under a lot of stress especially since your current landlord had increased rent price which meant you would have to put more hours into your tutoring job to earn more money but this meant less studying time which could be detrimental for your scholarship. you couldn’t afford to lose your scholarship or your current dorm and now you have a group project to complete with jeno as your partner - life really couldn’t get any better. everything was a mess.
jeno sat opposite you in the library as you open up your laptop to start preparing for the presentation that was due in two weeks time. he sits there with a smile on his face which frustrates you “stop smiling at me.” jeno ignores your comment as he leans forward on the table resting his chin on his hand. “I’m so glad we’re partners for this” He states happily knowing that you will probably find this extremely patronising. “of course you are because I’m going to do the work while you do nothing, right?” you state bluntly in a sarcastic voice, glaring at him, honestly if looks could kill then jeno would be long gone right now. “now now y/n, don’t you think you’re judging me a little too much right now” you roll your eyes at his arrogant tone, you didn’t have time to play his stupid games. “listen lee jeno, if you want your name on this presentation then I expect you to at least put together a page of research. I’m not like other people, I’m not going to let you get away with doing nothing” your tone was harsh and commanding, it was low-key turning on jeno. he admired your confidence and how hardworking you were all the time but of course he could never miss an opportunity to tease you “i love it when you call me by my full name, it’s so sexy of you” he whispers to you, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the same time which makes you scowl at him “just shut up!”
you’re surprised when jeno actually spends the following hour sitting quietly at his laptop and seemingly looking busy doing work? was he actually listening to you and doing the research that you demanded for? well, surprise surprise, he really did. an email notification from him appears on your tab and when you open it, you see his research document. what’s more surprising is that the research he did was actually pretty good, wow amazing maybe he was much smarter than you thought he was. jeno observes your reaction as you read through the work he sent you, “so what do you think? it’s good isn’t it?” he proudly comments. you weren’t planning on letting this get to his ego though, “it’s ....alright.” after a while, you both start to pack up since you have to get to your tutoring job. the only problem was that it was raining heavily and you forgot to bring an umbrella with you today. jeno senses your anxiousness and realises that this is his time to shine, he needs to get into your good books somehow if he wants at least a slim chance at getting that kiss from you. “no umbrella?” he asks you curiously, you shake your head no in response while trying to check the weather app. “I can drop you off if you want? he offers politely which causes you to look at him in confusion and suspicion. you’re not sure what game he’s playing at right now but desperate times calls for desperate measures so you really had no choice but to take on his offer especially if you didn’t want to be late to the tutoring session.
As the days go by, you shockingly start to warm up towards jeno. maybe he wasn’t as bad as you thought he was. you couldn’t deny the fact that he was indeed very charming and you actually kind of did enjoy his company. he was sort of sweet, always doing little acts of service for you but also he was a good listener and had a caring side to him. For someone who appeared to be very egotistic, jeno was actually quite the opposite when working with you. he made it his duty to drop you off at your tutoring jobs after study sessions and he would always check up on you at the night through texts to make sure you got home ok. sometimes those texts would turn into long chats about random topics. you both seemed to share a similar taste in humour and jeno having a cat made him extremely more likeable in your eyes. It was also nice for you that jeno didn’t throw the whole project workload on you. he turned up to every single study meet up and contributed a fair amount towards the presentation. you could tell he was putting in a lot of effort and it was interesting to see his intelligent side rather than the fck boy bluff that he usually parades around.
the presentation goes by brilliantly, you have to admit that jeno was probably the best project partner you’ve had so far. he sure did redeem himself during these two weeks that you spent with him. you can’t even deny the fact that a soft spot for him did grow. he really wasn’t that bad and you felt a little saddened that the project was over because it meant that you wouldn’t get to spend time with him anymore. the project was a good excuse to use in order to hang out with him but now that it’s done you had too much pride to want to ask him to actually hang out...possibly as friends.
jeno on the other hand had no plans to stop hanging out with you. he was determined to get that kiss from you no matter what it took, but also it felt nice to spend time with you. of course he loved girls being all over him and he loves the attention he gets on the daily but you treated him very ‘normally’. he lowkey enjoyed how ‘mean’ you were to him sometimes, it was amusing. he admired your honesty and just how wise and responsible you were all the time. jeno almost felt like he could be the real him with you, he didn’t have to put on the cool boy persona that everyone else loves. he could just be plain simple lee jeno.
he decided to invite you to a cafe date as celebration to the high grade you both achieved on the project. you were so relieved that it went exceptionally well but also you were very impressed with jeno overall. he couldn’t wait to brag about the grade with you but also boast about how he didn’t let you down. he managed to actually break the stereotype you had on him. “so y/n, are you proud of me?” he asks you with a slight flirtatious tone that you easily picked up on. “you did well, lee jeno. good job”. you pat his head gently and jeno smiles sweetly at your action, his eyes turning into crescents. he was so cute when he did this. damn jeno for having such an adorable smile because it was kind of making your heart melt right now. “I think it’s safe to say that I’m in your good books now?” jeno inquires curiously as he takes a spoonful of chocolate cake into his mouth, some of it sticking at the corner of his lips. Your hands instinctively reach over to his face, wiping the remains off. “I guess you just about made it in, gosh why are you such a messy eater.” your remark and gesture causes jeno to smirk, he’s realised that you’ve become touchy touchy with him lately, almost like he’s got you wrapped around his finger. his kiss bet lingered on his mind while he stared at you admiringly. the thing with jeno is that he’s honest, he’s a believer of ‘honesty is the best policy’ but also he just doesn’t see any point in telling lies. “y/n, wanna know why I was so happy to be paired in the project with you?”
you look at him observingly, with a slight pout on “because I’m smart?” he chuckles at you before leaning over to whisper in your ear “because i needed you to like me” you shove him away gently, furrowing your eyes at him “what do you mean?”. There was a pink tinted blush appearing on your cheeks, something about jeno right now was making you feel hot and flustered. you were used to his teasing behaviour but now it felt a bit different than usual. “well I’ve been told that you’re probably the only girl who would never kiss me, but I know I can get you to kiss me sooner or later.” jeno confidently tells you, you can hear the arrogant tone in his voice that makes your eyes role. “I’m not going to kiss you”
“why not, are you a prude?” you hear him ask mockingly.
“I’m not a prude!”
“but I think you are.”
“I’m not!”
“yeah you are”
“omg shut up jeno”
“make me”
you lightly slam your coffee cup onto the table, getting frustrated at jeno’s childish and taunting attitude. jeno senses your annoyance, it makes him want to poke fun at you some more. He daringly places his hand on your thigh, “kiss me if you’re not a prude” he whispers in your ear as you feel his hand tenderly snake up the leather skirt you’re wearing today, you feel butterflies form in your stomach at his action but instead of swatting his hand away you continue letting him secretly rub your thighs under the table. it feels so scandalous even though it really isn’t as risqué as you think it is. maybe jeno was right, maybe you were a prude. sure you’ve had your fair share of kissing boys and having hookups before, but jeno was making you feel some other way right now. you suddenly wanted to play his game. he had a smug smirk on his face as he gazes into your eyes seductively. you wanted to prove to him that you’re not a prude so you do the safest thing possible - kiss him on the cheek. jeno snickers at you “that’s not a real kiss” he informs you, once again leaning forward towards you, this time right in front of your face, you can feel his lips ghosting yours and his hand still gently stroking your thigh. your mind was starting to go fuzzy at the situation but you were secretly enjoying it all. “this is a real kiss” You hear him speak in a hushed voice and within seconds you feel his soft lips on yours. you’re a little shocked at first but it doesn’t take long before your eyes flutter shut and you feel jeno kissing you, his lips moving against yours and his tongue pushing it’s way in. it feels good, the way he’s kissing you is gentle and soft, but it’s overpowering your emotions that a small moan escapes from you. you pull away quickly in embarrassment realising that you are in public right now. jeno sits there, grinning with your lipstick smudged at the edge of his lips. it was an interesting sight to see and you would be lying if you said you weren’t turned on by it. “wanna go back to my dorm?” you just about hear him breathe out before you mutter quietly “ok”.
as soon as you walk through the front door of his dorm, you feel jeno crash you against the wall with a slight thud, he kisses you in pure lust and desperation. it’s been a while since you last made out with someone, but no one has ever kissed you the way he is doing it right now. it felt so fckin good. you feel jeno slowly snake his arms around your waist and down near your hips before he instructs you “up”, you slightly jump allowing him to lift you up as you now wrap your legs around his body. it takes him no effort to carry you over to his bed, lips still attached to you, but this time he’s managed to pepper kisses down your jawline and he’s now found the sweet spot on your neck that he so passionately sucks on as he draws out soft moans and gasps from you. you feel him gently drop you on his bed, plunging on his soft mattress and pillows as he crawls over and cages on top of you. your arms impulsively loop around his neck pulling him down closer into a deeper kiss. during the heat of the moment jeno accidentally grinds on you, usually he has good control of his body but right now it felt as if there was a magnetic force pulling him in, he mumbles a sorry against your lips. it was only supposed to be a kiss but that one kiss took you both somewhere you weren’t expecting. lust sure was powerful because jeno is stunned when he hears you demand “do it again”. he grinds against you softly, testing the waters, a proud smile grows on his face when he hears a moan of approval from you. you feel a pool of arousal form below as the feeling of wanting and needing jeno grows more and more. sure you were going against your own morals of not falling for jeno, but right now you didn’t care at all and he was in complete awe at you. you pull him even closer to your body, lifting your hips up to meet his, “I want you so bad” you managed to breathe out which makes jeno instinctively rub his obvious bulge against your seemingly damp crotch area. he pulls away quickly to strip into only his underwear and helps you remove your crop top and skirt leaving you in your lace lingerie. jeno’s eyes are dark as he licks his lips and observes you from above. “one kiss is really all it takes..” he tells you boldly as he recalls that he’s achieved more than just a kiss for his mission. he now wants more with you. “what time are you going to tutoring?” he asks you through messy kisses. “fck tutoring” you whine at him, making him groan “good, we won’t have to rush then.”
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deartouya · 6 months ago
“ dating hcs ” [ hawks ]
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→ summary: the mandatory, cliche what dating keigo takami would include hcs
→ pairing: hawks x gn!reader
→ word count: 2,001... oh my god i am very sorry.
→ warnings: gn!reader, reader's picked up at least once, nothing much- just a bunch of fluff, mentions of food and eating, reader's picked up, mentions of necklaces ??. i've been working on these for so long T-T pls be nice i'll cry. also @call-me-ko ily
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• Keigo is a caretaker by nature, an innate little part of his brain screaming to look after you. Giving you attention and pouring all his extra time and energy into you gives him an outlet. He's always considering you, paying attention to you and notices every minuscule expression.
• He trusts you to a fault. Trusts you with his life. There's nothing he has that he wouldn't give you, that he wouldn't entrust in you. He refuses to keep unnecessary secrets, everything and anything is shared between you. Hates feeling like he'll make you feel like he doesn't trust you and wants you to be able to rely on him for anything.
• He's insanely protective of you, circling back to his need to look after you, even though he knows you can handle yourself. No matter if you're a fellow hero, a sidekick, or a civilian- he is always going to worry about you. Keigo always makes sure to leave at least one feather with you at all times, stashing it away in a coat or bag you carry often. He is also very prepared to drop patrol at even the slightest inkling of you being in danger.
• Keigo makes sure to send you a minimum of twenty texts a day and calls you at least twice, when he's leaving in the morning and when he's on his way home. They're never too involved, pictures of pretty leaves or flowers he sees throughout the day and make him think of you or his melodramatic anguish over the weather whenever it rains. Send you little reviews of the lunch you'd made for him, always glowing even if you're an average cook.
• He's also one of the nosiest people you know. Loves to hear any and all gossip you have, even if he has no idea who it's about. He just likes talking about people. Whenever you're on the phone with a friend and he knows that you’re complaining about someone, he presses himself against your side and listens in. He does it so often you've just started to have them on speakerphone. He likes hearing about less complicated problems and is an oddly amazing problem solver when it comes to petty issues.
• Keigo is completely shameless with affection and encourages you to be the same. If the urge to wrap himself over your shoulders or kiss you overtakes- he's acting on it. If you seem flustered he'll just curve his wings over you.
• He constantly has some sort of touch on you, your hand in his, playing with the rings on your fingers, or you tucked under an arm no matter where you are. Anytime you are sat down or laying down, he's draped over you with your hands in his hair. He'll also decide when you're standing beside each other to just drop all his body weight onto you and lean against you with his chin hooked in your shoulder. Loves to do it when he's bored at an event or you're cooking dinner, he likes to have all your attention on him.
• His favourite forms of affection are the ones that you don't expect. He'll hook a finger under your chin so he can sneak a kiss on your cheek or wrap his arms around you when you're in the middle of something else. If he ever finds out your ticklish anywhere, he will take advantage of that in the worst times.
• Keigo insists on sharing food. It doesn't matter if it's a full meal or piece of chocolate- he wants to split it. If you ever offer for him to taste something you're eating or drinking he always bites from the same spot and wants to eat off the same utensils.
• He's a hopeless romantic at heart, spent too many movie nights watching cheesy rom-coms, and gets overwhelming urges to shower you in any affections he can think of. He sends roses to you for a week straight for no reason and leaves small gifts all over the apartment for you to find. Keigo will come home some days and start waxing poetic and kissing the back of your hand.
• Goes beyond and above for any birthdays or anniversaries. Plans elaborate picnics on a rooftop, always with the best view of the sunsets, and builds your bouquets. He always manages to know the exact kind of gift you'd want.
• Loves having you wedged between his legs with your back to his chest while you watch movies. Wraps arms around your waist and drapes his wings over you. Always hooks his chin over your shoulder so he can nose at your jaw and neck.
• Keigo loves skin-ship so much and will take every opportunity to get it. He values any skin on skin contact he can get from you, nosing into your neck or letting you run your fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp. He refuses to fall asleep if he can have his hands on your stomach under your skirt and his face in the crook of your neck.
• Keigo looks after you physically, too- preens you. He'll always fix stray hairs your correct anything that went awry on your clothing. He doesn't even notice he does it, hands moving on their own to straighten your necklaces or turn your rings. He keeps your hair ties on his wrist so he can put your hair up.
• He's always used his wings as an extension of him and when it comes to you- it's no different. Whenever you're cold, he tucks you into the crook of a wing and pushes you against his side or he'll press his chest to your back and tuck both wings over you. When it gets hot outside he'll lift one over your head to keep you out of the sun or to keep you dry when it rains, you always feel bad after it rains so you preen them for him. He uses them to keep you from the paparazzi too, using them to envelop you and hide you from the situation- especially if they make you anxious or uncomfortable.
• He's a menace when he sees you out while he's on patrol. You could be grocery shopping or coming back from lunch with your friends but the moment he sees you, he has his arms hooked under your knees and arms. Always comes from behind and laughs when you shriek and cling onto his lapels.
• Also anytime he sees you walking around and he decides not to pick you up or you spot him first, he refuses to let you be. Follows you around, hovering a foot above you, and talks the entire block. No amount of telling him "he has work to do" will get him to leave. Claims he's just "doing his duty- ensuring the safety of a civilian." He's not.
• Keigo loves to sweep you off your feet. He'll find the worst times possible to sweep your legs with a wing so he can catch you in his arms. Princess carries you for twenty minutes afterwards, boasting about being your hero.
• Thrives off your praise. He's having his best day whenever you're admiring him or complimenting the smallest little details about him. Takes advantage of the days after shoots or he exhaustively preens his feathers- spreading their entire wingspan so they catch the light or wearing tighter shirts and purposely flexing when reaching over you.
• He loves giving you gifts so much. Not just expensive stuff- though he definitely does that too. He'll see something when out that makes him think of you, how pretty you'd look in it, and gets it without thinking. Jewellery is probably the most common expense gift he gets, mostly because he likes clasping necklaces onto you and letting his fingers trace the back of your neck. 
• Adores flight dates- and not just the impromptu ones- but softer ones. Always knows when the sky will look its prettiest and which buildings give the best views. Bundles you up in a scarf and jacket, though he does tend to under prepare you for the cold so you can nestle into him, and tucks you into his arms. He knows the skies over your apartment like the back of his hand. Could probably navigate it with his eyes closed, which with how much he spends staring at your awed and sunkissed face he does.
• Keigo despises working nights because night shifts mean he has to leave you alone. He hates feeling like he's neglecting you, which he KNOWS you don't think he is and tries his best to avoid them. When he doesn't have a choice, he'll spam you with texts and calls- talks you to sleep. Away missions are the worst, though, he's barely able to fall asleep without your heartbeat under his ear and hands in his hair. He just loves you and being without you feels like he's lost a limb.
• Uses hugs to recharge every night, even more so after he's been away, pulls you flush against him and tucks his face into your neck. His fingers digging into your back and wings crushing you to him. Rubs his nose back and forth on your neck and presses your foreheads together. He spends so much of his day worried about not being able to come back to you that having you in front of him is the only way to calm down.
• Keigo is an incredibly loyal person, destructively so, and he loves SO hard. So much about his life is stressful that having you to come back to, someone to be calm and soft with, matters more than anything. Having someone to love and support him unconditionally for the first time.
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‧₊˚✩ taglist + masterlist ✩˚₊‧
🏷: @izukus-gf , @dinodumbass , @tipsyangels , @uwuthatshit , @akaakeijii , @hirugummies
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poppy-metal · a year ago
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Wc: 4k
Pairing: eren jaeger x reader
Cw: car sex, fingering, emphasis on reader being innocent and a virgin. reader is armins little sister. corruption kink
you're 6 years old when you first meet eren jaeger. apparently he'd run off some people that were bullying you big brother, armin. you admire him and mikasa immediately.
you're 8 and he's 11 when you get a scrape on your knee from playing tag. eren runs into your mothers bathroom to fish out the first aid-kit, you know he just doesn't want you to tattle, you never would anyway, but he pulls out a pink band-aid with little ariels all over it and places it gently over the cut. he stays there for a few beats, soothing the skin around the hurt area with his thumbs. his big bright green eyes look up at you, "better?" and that's the first time your heart skips for a boy.
you're 11 and he's 14 when armin starts becoming protective. "he's had like. 5 girlfriends in middle school, who knows what he's gonna be like in high-school"
it intrigue you, for some reason.
you're 13 and he's 16 when he taps furiously on your window at night, wild eyed and wearing a t-shirt and sweats. he falls ungracefully on his ass when you let him in, though he grins at you from the floor. "thanks, squirt"
you wince at the nickname, knowing it solidifies you as someone only platonic to him. armins little sister and nothing more. "what's this all about?"
he gets up and swipes imaginary dust off his sweats, looking around your room. its absurdly girly. he picks up one of your plushies and tosses it up, then catches it, peering over at you and grinning. "i hope you never change," he sighs and flops down onto your pink sheets. "girls my age are fucking psychos"
you creep closer to him, snatching your plush back. "im sure there's something you're leaving out there. im not completely dumb, you know"
he waves his hand, "yeah but you're....i don't know? innocent or whatever. you don't care about shit like boys and drama"
i do care about boys, you think, watching the way his shirt rides up to expose a hint of tan skin. you look away, squeezing your plush to your chest. "im gonna grow up eventually, ren"
he sighs and sits up, looking at you from under his ridiculously cute floppy brown hair. "Just promise me you won't go boy crazy"
you roll your eyes and sit down next to him, he leans in and licks a broad stripe against your cheek with his tongue, grinning "we have cooties"
you swat at him and wipe your cheek, groaning and calling him gross. "i know that. you and armin never let me forget how gross boys are", you side eye him. "what did you even do? really?"
he looks to the side, only now having it in him to look the least bit sheepish, "my girlfriend may have caught me with my hand down historias skirt..."
yeah, boys really are gross. but not eren, no he's beautiful and magical and makes you feel all the fluttery things. but he's also a player, a bad boy, dangerous and completely off limits. maybe your crush should have ended there, but of course it didn't.
You're 15 when you go on your first date with a boy. until now you haven’t allowed yourself to even think about men outside of the enigma that is eren jaeger, but that’s a lost cause, a stupid crush you need to let go of. and despite what eren thinks, you’re not that innocent. not in your head anyway. you’re a girl and you have fantasies. 
the guy is nice, armin likes him enough. big and tall and humble, reiner brought you flowers for your first date. the age difference is a little weird, he’s in erens grade, a senior, but you think its harmless. you’re turning 16 soon. the date goes well, you smile and giggle alot, and reiner seems smitten by the end of it. he even goes as far as to kiss your hand when he drops you back off at home, at 8pm sharp, just like he promised. he was kind and sweet, and you liked him, but you wonder what it means that there were no flutters in your belly, not like when you’re around him…
you’re still thinking about that when you open the door, and walk inside. the house is quiet, and you wonder where armin is, and eren. thinking they both must be in armins room, you go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, stopping on your path there when you see eren on the couch. he’s lounging back, hand idly wrapped around a gaming controller as he watches you.
you glance around him. “where’s mimmin?”
he doesn’t take his eyes off you. “annie called”, he leans forward a little, propping his chin in his palm as he observes you quietly for a moment.
you squirm in place, his eyes are too hot. “oh” and you make to start moving again but his voice stops you. 
“so. braun, huh?” his tone is hard to discern, the words coming out cool and detached, but his eyes are that intense green. 
“yeah” you say, shifting on your feet. “he was nice. kissed my hand and everything”
“sounds like a dream” and that is definitely said sarcastically. you bristle but eren is already turning away from you, facing the TV. “didn’t think he was your type though” 
because erens been your type since forever, you guess he’s right. reiner couldn’t be more different in both personality and looks, but maybe that’s a good thing. “maybe he can be” you say softly, looking at your feet. you dont see erens eyebrows jump, or his lips twist disdainfully. 
“If you wanna settle for missionary the rest of your life, then sure, go ahead” he sounds a little miffed and that confuses you. makes you look up. you don’t even know reiner that well, but you feel the need to defend him from erens usual snarky jabs. 
“not every guy that doesn’t live on Xbox and fuck half the school is a bland guy” you huff. you feel a little guilty for calling him out but he started it. eren hated preps, that was obvious, but its not like he was a model person either, if his long track record of promiscuity was anything to go by. reiner wasnt boring he just…..wasn’t eren. but that wasn’t a flaw. It shouldn’t be. 
“you been keeping tabs on me, princess?” eren asks wryly, smirking now. you just glare at him, quirking a brow and daring him to prove you wrong, to say he’s better. 
he doesn’t. he just looks at you, sets his controller down and does that tick he’d developed since he was young of jiggling his knee, tapping his finger on it. “don’t go on more dates with him” 
you squint your eyes, “and why not?”
“because i said so” 
“you’re not my boss” 
“because..” he scratches the stubble on his jaw, gaze looking far off as he stares at his bouncing leg. “guys shouldn't touch you” 
your mouth pops open. you get that, right now, you’re too young for stuff like sex, but being touched? everyone your age had boyfriends, why should you be any different?
It feels a bit like deja vu when you tell him, “m’not staying innocent forever. dating and s-sex are apart of life. you do it, why shouldn’t i?” 
you didn’t really get his whole overprotective bit, armin, who was your brother, wasn’t even this bad. he’d seen happy almost, when you told him about your date with reiner, even, so you really don’t see where eren is coming from. 
erens lip curls in a smirk and he points a finger at you. “that’s why” he says. “you can’t even say the word sex without stuttering. what’ll you do when you see a cock for the first time?” 
your skin heats, hating that he’s right. “I’ll grow out of it” you promise him. 
he huffs a laugh. “sure thing, dork” but then his face gets serious. “you don’t need to change though. sex is lame, i promise.” 
“you seem to have alot of it, so there must be something good about it” 
“for me, yeah” he grins. “but im selfish. most men are, and you deserve better than some highschool tumble with a guy who looks like he can’t find the clit to save his life” his eyes weigh you down. “just keep bein’ you. If i come back from college and hear that you’re the towns tramp stamp, m’ not gonna be happy” 
and that’s that. 
you’re 16 when eren leaves for college. you get to 18 without ever being touched. 
you’re 18 and you wish you hadn’t begged armin to let you come to this stupid bomfire party. it’s just the first time he’s been home in the 2 years since he’d left for college, and you know that means eren is back too, though you have yet to see him. he’s supposed to be at the party though.
you wonder if he’ll react to having seen you after not for awhile, if he’ll look at you different now that you’re grown. you’re wearing a simple pleated white skirt and a pink top, the picture of innocence you’ve always been, never changing. 
being around so many people makes you uncomfortable, you want to cling to armins side, but you don’t want to be annoying so you tell him its okay to leave you. your eyes scan the mass of people on the crowded beach as you nervously hold your solo cup to your chest. 
your eyes stop their nervous skittering when they land on someone familiar. 
college eren is completely different and yet wholly the same since you’d last seen him. he’s wearing a red bomber jacket, over a black t-shirt and skinny jeans, scuffed converse kicking in the sand as he shifts from one foot to the other. you peep tan skin, a hint of a tattoo peeking on his neck and….and black hair. he’d dyed his hair, and, is that jewelry on his ear? rings on his hand?
he’s smiling easily with a pretty blonde and...and reiner. talking to them like old friends as he tilts his head back and laughs, taking a swig from his cup. he’s still chuckling and shaking his head when his eyes flick distractedly over, rove over you and then stop. even from all the way where you are the green of his eyes pins you in place. the warm glow of the bonfire dances across his features, and you see the bastard has a lip ring as well. he takes his time cataloging you and you do him, before his lips tilt, he hands off his drink and he makes his way over to you. 
your whole body is tense with nerves as he gets closer and closer.
when he’s standing in front of you, the smell of his cologne wafts over you. his smile is small and genuine. “hey, pip” 
pip as in short for pipsqueak. you have to fight the urge to grin at him, your cheeks warming pleasantly, even though you groan out loud. “m’ not little anymore” 
“I can see that” eren eyes rake over you, linger on your bare legs before dragging slowly back up. his eyes feel like a caress and when they meet yours again, you’re already tingly. you’ve never been touched sexually, and just one look from eren has you wet between the legs like nothing. “still dress like you wanna be an extra in a Bratz commercial” 
the tension disputes as you swat his arm. “shut up!! Its a fashion choice, not like you’d know. dressed like a wannabe rockstar” 
“aw, c’mon. you’d be my groupie right?” 
you roll your eyes. “you wish, jaeger”
“mm” he hums softly. “s’cute though. always has been” 
before you can even register the compliment, he’s leaning forward to peek into your cup, swiping it easily from you. “underage drinking, are we? left you for a couple years and you go rebel barbie on me” 
you squawk as he chugs all of your drink back in one gulp, crushing the cup in his fist and tossing it behind him. “ren! I wasn’t even drinking it. It was..” you wave your hand around. “for the aesthetic”
“uh huh” he drones, but then he jerks his chin. “i’ll get you another one to stand around and look pretty with then. C’mon”
cute, pretty. the compliments are gonna make your heart fly out of your chest if he doesn’t let up. you follow him as he leads you to a keg, one that’s a little ways away from the bustle of the party, close to the parking lot where you came in. 
you shyly say ‘thank you’ when he fills you a cup and hands it to you, proceeding to lean back against a car as he goes back to observing you.
to distract yourself you mumble, “you can’t just lean on a strangers car for the sake of being cool” 
the grin is back. “you think im cool?” when you glare at him he rolls his eyes and slaps the hood of the car. “she’s mine, pip. you can untwist your panties” 
you blink at him, “since when did you get a new car? and when did you dye your hair?” 
he looks at you curiously, drumming his fingers. “do you not, like. follow me on instagram?”
you look away, kicking your feet in the sand. hesitantly you admit, “didn’t wanna miss you, so i didn’t look” 
he doesn’t say anything to that. the silence stretches between you, making you nervous. should you not have said that? you guessed it was weird, after all, but it was true. If you’d looked at how erens life was progressing without you there to see it, you’d have cried and been a total lovesick girl about it. 
he finally breaks the silence. “do you have a boyfriend?” 
you look back at him. “uh...no? do you?”
the smirk you wanted ghosts over his lips again, and your eyes are drawn to his lip ring when he tugs it between his teeth. “nah, you know me. unattainable” 
“yeah, i know” you say under your breath, thinking of how eren jaeger had been an unattainable fantasy for you for years. 
“so no current boyfriend or…?” 
“no boyfriends...ever” its embarrassing to admit, but less humiliating than admitting that the reason that was is because you’re in love with your brothers best friend, the very man standing before you now. 
“that’s kinda tragic, pip” eren hops up on the hood of his car and fishes a cigarette out of his pocket. he waves a hand at you, “you’re rockin’ a bod like that and no one’s bagged you? thought you’d be beating down options with a bat by now” 
you watch the smoke that plumes in the air, the way it coils and wisps, and really look at eren. he’s tragically beautiful. his no black hair is boyishly messy, tangled around his head in a dark halo. his face is sharp and tan, his eyes striking and making you feel like you’re sinking into the sand beneath your feet.
you’ve wanted him for so long, it makes you ache. years and years of pushing away men and declining confessions for this man in front of you. you’d never expected anything from him, but you couldn’t move past the fantasy in your head. couldn’t imagine giving any of your firsts to anyone but eren. 
“you told me to stay innocent” its out before you can stop the words, they just fumble out, spilling from your lips and into the air like the smoke.
eren stills, pauses from where he’d been about to take another drag. his expression is unreadable. he flicks the ashes from the cig on the sand, stumps it out under his foot as he hops down. the wind ruffles his dark hair as he just looks and looks and looks at you. 
“yeah?” and oh, jesus, if the rough gravel in his voice doesn’t make your cunt warm immediately. “and you listened?” 
you squeeze your thighs together, an action that draws erens gaze between your legs. to late to back down now, you think, and wet your lips. “y-yeah. I did” 
“you didn’t let any boys touch you while i was gone?” eren continues and he draws closer, creeping towards you.
you shake your head, silent as he comes in front of you. he reaches up to delicately push a strand of hair behind you ear with one of his ring fingers. he keeps it tucked behind your ear as he towers over you, staring you down. “you’re still my innocent little girl, huh?” 
you wonder if this is how it feels to be seduced, seduced by eren jaeger no less. his eyes are warm, and they make you feel warm from where the rest on your eyes, and then, your lips. they part under his gaze, on instinct. “I am, ren. always have been” 
his eyes darken, and the finger behind your ear becomes his whole hand sliding to cup the back of your head, slowly fisitng your hair in it. “shit” he tilts your head up. “you can’t say things like that, baby”
baby, baby, baby. your head swims. you’re on autopilot now, speaking without thinking and you think that’s good because if you were thinking clearly you wouldn't have the courage. “i’ve always been your good girl. no one elses” 
you have one second to hear his exhale before his lips are crashing against yours, and oh. oh, he’s good. you feel the metal of his lip ring against your bottom lip as he slides his tongue in your mouth, eating you up.
“god, you’re sweet” he nips your lip. “knew you would be”
you pant into his mouth, your hands curling on his chest, “y-you’ve thought about me?”
“‘course i did, im not blind” he pulls away. “I just really like my dick and didn’t want it chopped off. armin is scary” 
you know he can be when he wants to be, knows if he saw eren ravishing his little sister against his car right now, body parts would be strewn about. and that’s just from armins verbal warfare.
you look at eren demurely from under your lashes, “i don’t want anything to happen to your…” you trail off at the end.
erens eyebrows climb up his forehead, he presses close to you, tugs you to him. “my…” he prods, eyes glinting with mischief. 
you look away, pouting. “know i can’t say it” you mumble, hating that even now, saying vulgar words is embarrassing for you.
erens chest shakes with a laugh. “you just sucked my tongue down your throat, pip, and you can’t talk about my cock? you’re precious, c’mere.” he starts walking backwards, towards his car. “we gotta be sneaky about it but-” he dips down to kiss you again, once, twice. “i really wanna touch you” 
you gulp, and nod, let him pull you to his car and open the backseat for you, climbing in after you. he shuts and locks it behind him and then he’s facing you, eren jaeger giving you his full attention. looking at you like he wants you, like he’s seeing you, like he wants to do alot of bad things to you.
you place a shaking hand on his shoulder. “im- i dont know what to do..”
you want to impress him, but pretending you’re good at something you’re not won’t do that. eren doesn’t like liars anyway. 
he scoots close to you, pulling you halfway onto his lap until you’re sitting comfortably against him. you bite your lip when you feel the hard ridge of his cock pressing against your ass under your skirt. one of his hands settles on your bare thigh, scooting it up just barely.
“you ever watch porn, sweetheart?” erens breath puffs against your ear and you squirm on top of him. 
you push down your own embarrassment, resigning yourself to be a big girl and be honest. “s-sometimes” 
“yeah?” god, why does just that word turn you on so much? “tell me what kind of stuff you watch when you touch your little pussy” 
his vulgar words go straight to your cunt, at the same time his hand slides up your thighs and slips under your skirt. you close your eyes when you feel the tip of his finger trace over the band of your panties. “they’re always a couple..” you gasp when his hand dips inside, palm cupping over your pussy. “a-and the guy has dark hair..”
“Imagining anyone in particular?” eren teases, but you hear his breath catch at the same time yours does when he sinks one long finger inside. the folds around your slit part seamlessly around the intrusion, sucking his finger in like your pussy wants it there. “so wet, baby. keep talking for me?”
ever the good girl, you push through the tingles and the heat spreading down your legs, the slick sound of his finger fucking in and out of you filling the silent car as you struggle to find words. “s-shes always inexperienced. Its her first time and...and hes gentle” you moan a little when erens thumb comes to swirl around your clit, hips lips finding your neck. he’s teasing another finger at your tight entrance when you swallow another groan and try to keep talking like he’d asked. “he’s gentle but he takes. t-takes what he wants”
“mm” eren hums, tongue sliding against your skin. you gasp when the tip of his ring finger edges in beside the other one, stretching your tight passage around his digits in thorough little twists of his fingers. “that’s real good, baby. you like the sound of that, huh?” 
eren hooks his chin over your shoulder, bunches your skirt around your waist so he can see where your little pussy is clenching and squeezing around him, clit engorged and throbbing for attention. when you don’t answer, he continues, using the slick dripping down your slit, gathering it and then pushing back into you. “I bet” he says, low, husky. “In those videos, he eats her out real nice, yeah? makes sure her little virgin cunt is wet enough to take his cock”
“y-yeah” you pant, holding his wrist but not pulling it away, pushing him more towards you. you’re starting to grind down against the pleasure, walls rhythmically fluttering around his fingers, fucking yourself on them without even knowing it. he curls them, and your head thumps back against his shoulder as you cry out. 
“i’ll give that to you” eren promises, pumping his fingers faster, his other hand coming up to cup one of your tits over your blouse, giving it a squeeze. “gonna take you home after you cream around my fingers and lay you out on your bed” he kisses your cheek, holding you firm against him when you start to twitch and writhe. “lick this little flower open. wanna feel your thighs squeeze my face when i drink the cum from your pussy, get you all loose and wet and then i wanna feel you drip down my dick when i slide it inside”
“oh god, ren!” you jerk in his hold as you feel your orgasm crest over you, gushing down his palm, as you ride his hand, milking it as tingles shoot across your whole body. A milky, creamy film rests around his knuckles when he slides his fingers out of your weeping cunt, still pulsating and twitching from the come down. 
he rubs the excess slick around your folds and clit, rubbing it in. you whimper and he chuckles and kisses your cheek. 
you sag against him, fucked out. eren brushes some hair from your forehead and kisses it. “wannabe punk pounds sweet virgin pussy into her bed” 
you look at him, confused and dazed “huh?”
eren grins at you. “s’ gonna be the name of our porno” 
6K notes · View notes
minniepetals · 8 months ago
cry me a river | the puppeteer
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— summary: father wanted perfection, you fell in love with disorder
— pairing: bts x reader
— genre: angst, mafia!au
— word count: 6.6k
— warnings: slight violence, flashbacks, y/n has a mental breakdown
— PART 6 / previous part / masterpost
“Did you hear? Apparently, he had a daughter all along.”
“What? No way.”
“Who do you think sent us the invitations? You don’t really believe the Reaper would have simply left this world without a plan, do you? He had a wife who died years ago, after all. Seems he kept his daughter in the dark for quite a while. Apparently, even many of his trusted allies had no knowledge she even existed.”
“But why hide this daughter of his? Surely she’s incompetent for someone whose name has never been mentioned in the underworld?”
The man shrugs. “If she’s incompetent, all the more reason to take over the empty throne.”
A laugh leaves another man. “The Reapers are indeed powerful. Stealing that throne would be quite the feat for the man who does it.”
Jungkook’s brows furrow as he makes his way around the room, gossips after gossips of the mysterious Reaper’s daughter whispering all over the place. Everyone’s curious as to who you are, what sort of person you will turn out to be, whether you’re worthy enough to take over your father’s throne or not.
Little do they know, you’ve already made a home for yourself on that seat long before they heard news of your father’s death.
And now here he is, in a dreaded room amongst many other mafia members who got your invitation to the party you mentioned weeks ago. The party being your debut, the party being — your father’s funeral.
He doesn’t know how to feel about it, not exactly expecting you to call your own father’s funeral a debut show for the underworld but what was he expecting when you killed your father with your very own hands?
News not many mafiosos in the room have knowledge of just yet.
He doesn’t like this as he finally makes light of one of his lovers, Seokjin, before finding the rest of them standing relatively close to one another. He takes the last spot beside them, brows still furrowed and waiting for your arrival.
He wishes this will end as soon as possible as he catches sight of Hoseok who stands two people away from him.
Hoseok is silent, eyes unwavering without the slightest hint of emotions on his face despite all the rumors and words leaving many lips in the room. Namjoon himself is questioned on his opinion, being one of the Reaper’s allies, though he refuses to comment much on it.
Yoongi and Taehyung both look bored. Jimin doesn’t want to be here. Seokjin can’t wait for your arrival so this so called party can end. And Hoseok is emotionless.
The youngest of the group wonders what is going on in his head. After all, ten years ago when things were falling apart with you, he had been the last to accept your leaving. And perhaps Hoseok never did come to terms with it, perhaps he still hurts, unsure of what to do in this dilemma now that you’re back, and Jungkook wonders how Hoseok is feeling through all of this.
He can feel his heart falling a little for his lover, eyes moving to the floor of the room when he knows he can’t take staring at Hoseok’s expressionless face any longer.
Hoseok held onto you when you decided to leave and for a while nothing but anger and pain filled his eyes whenever he looked at them. At him. It took some time for Hoseok to finally accept your absence and Jungkook never wants to go through the idea of his hyung hating him ever again. But now that you’re back in the picture, what does this all mean for them?
For Hoseok?
Jungkook doesn’t want to think about it.
He’s running away again, he knows, but…what else can he do? A small glance Namjoon’s way is all he can do.
The leader of Bangtan stands tall, eyes as cold and as intimidating as ever. His brows are creased even tighter today, refusing to answer anything anyone asks him about the mysterious daughter of the Reaper.
“Did you know she existed?”
“I do not know her,” is all he says.
Because it’s the truth.
Once upon a time the eight of you lived a life filled with soft smiles and sweet laughter. That story ended ten years ago when you pulled your ring off your finger, deciding to end all your ties with them. It was you who suggested never to meet ever again, promising to never utter a word about Bangtan to anyone, including your father.
It was you who made the rules of the contract, sitting across from him in the dim lit room ten years ago, looking as if you were barely holding on but still having enough strength to speak to him through the paper contract.
You wanted no relations with him no longer, the pen trembling in your hand when you reached to sign your name before the bottom line.
Still, despite the ache in your heart, the eyes that refused to meet his one last time, Namjoon remembered the last moment he had with you so well. It’s been engraved in his mind so well no matter how much he’s tried to get rid of it.
You bit onto your trembling lip, fingernails digging into the skin of your thigh as you sat in there in his office, head lowered, holding onto your sniffles as the tears cascaded from your closed eyes.
“Thank you, Namjoon. You were a wonderful husband.” The very last words you uttered to him, chin tilted upwards as your eyes remained closed, the corners of your lips barely holding onto the string when it tugged into a beautiful, painful smile, so broken and weak.
He did that.
That was the consequence of his actions.
Namjoon could have sworn his heart dropped in that very moment but he doesn’t remember much of how he felt in those few seconds.
Because after you whispered those words to him, you stood up and turned your back to him, head refusing to look back, feet walking on without another step of hesitation.
It was the last thing he saw of you.
And now here he is, in a building belonging to the Reapers, in your home, with your presence returning to take your revenge.
The door flies open and the noise dies down as all heads turn your way.
A black satin dress falling to the floor, black heels slowly clicking onto the carpet. The room falls so silent he swears he could hear a pin drop if it weren’t for the slow steps you make as the room create a way for you to head for the casket towards the back of the room.
Your hair is pulled up in an updo, a black birdcage veil decorated on the side, hiding part of your face in the dim lit room. Your chin is tilted towards the floor, refusing to make contact with all the curious gazes in the room while your hands fall together in front of you, holding onto a single flower.
The black dahlia tainted with a dark burgundy color.
You look like a grim reaper dressed in black, yet despite the dark color you are decorated in, your face is gentle and soft, pure and innocent with a grieving expression. No one has ever looked so pure dressed in black yet you make it seem so effortlessly looking like an angel walking in grim reaper’s clothing.
Of course Namjoon knows all of this is an act you’re putting on to play the role of the mourning daughter who had just lost her loving father.
He says nothing while the room already falls awestruck by your beauty, despite the fact that your face is tilted down and refusing to give them all a true view.
You fall to your knees once you reach your father’s casket and the room lower their heads in respect of the ritual once you’ve clasped your hands together, greeting the dead Reaper.
Hello, father, you call to him in your thoughts, eyes closed as if you were praying for the angels to bless his path to heaven. But you know more than anyone that your father isn’t in heaven.
I hope you’re rotting well in hell, though I doubt anyone would be able to rot well once they’re in hell. You don’t want to talk to him but you have to put on an act in front of everyone — at least for now. I want to thank you for bringing me into this world. It must be quite a shock to realize the very person you brought into this world is the sole reason you’ve left, huh? There are many things I wish to curse you for but you will never be able to comprehend them all. After all, you’re gone now all because of it. If we had more time, I would have taken my time killing you but I didn’t want to see you living for a second longer.
The flower you had placed before you is handed onto his casket. You stand back on your feet, watching it for a moment to remind yourself that you’ve done well. I’ll be keeping your seat warm for you now. Don’t look after me because I have no need of your guidance any longer. You’re useless to me.
With that, you turn your back to the casket to address the room before your very eyes.
With your face facing the room, you hear a small whistle that almost had you rolling your eyes if you didn’t have that much control over your emotions. You don’t like being seen before a crowd, addressing a room, and perhaps that’s due to the fact that you’ve always hidden yourself well amongst others to the point where you were simply but a shadow to everyone.
And now here you are, facing the underworld with everyone’s eyes staring right at you. You can feel the tremble in your hands and hold them behind your back as your face remains calm.
“Thank you for attending my father’s funeral,” you begin with a gentle facade, a small bittersweet smile curling along your lips as you speak as if you were looking fondly back on your memories with him. “It is a shame to bid him goodbye this soon and I understand that this may have shocked many of you in this room. After all, no one knew of my existence before this very day.”
“Will you be taking his place?” Someone asks and you address him with a nod.
“It is the duty of the heir to take the throne once the father has passed,” you remind him.
“Not unless they’re weak and incomptetent.” You remain nonchalant despite the criticism that leaves another’s lips. When you look over his way, his cocky attitude doesn’t sit well with you but you let him be for now.
He narrows his gaze in suspicion of you. “Your father has held onto quite the legacy,” he states. “How are we to know you’ll promise to continue that?”
“As you’ve said, no one knew of your existence until today. Doesn’t that mean something?” Someone else says, implying the fact that you aren’t up to lead a whole gang, that you’re weak and therefore your father refused to let the world know you existed.
Which was half true. Father indeed saw you as someone who shouldn’t exist and had shamed the face of the Reapers.
Yet despite all the jabs made your way and more, you refuse to give into their childish antics.
“I will assume you are saying this because you are concerned for the Reapers now that my father is gone,” you go on to say, receiving a few offhanded scoffs to which you ignore. “I will say this now, the Reapers will do well on their own without your concerns.”
“Young lady, if you hadn’t realized,” Ah, you don’t like the name he addressed you with, “Now that your father is gone, that throne is for anyone to take.”
“Ah,�� you say, “are you saying you wish to takeover my father’s empire?”
“There’s no one left to defend it.”
“I am here to defend it.”
A laugh and two.
They’re all mocking you.
The corner of your lips curl into a smirk at their underestimation of you. You can’t blame them, they don’t know who you are but that just makes it all the more fun for your part. Because unlike a hidden shadow whom no one has a clue on how her skills are, you have already figured out many of the weaknesses in this very room.
“Alright then, since you doubt me so much,” a playful pitying sigh escapes you, “I guess we’ll just have to deal with this the old fashion way.” Your eyes scan the room, a small grin plastered on your face. “Whoever defeats me will have the chance at taking over the Reapers.”
At your announcement, laughter leave some lips as if you had just made the most funniest joke. When you raise a brow their way, silent in response to their laughs, they realize this crazy fool have just created the easiest way to take over another gang.
“I don’t really like fighting with a girl,” someone steps up to say.
You smile. “Don’t worry about that. Just do your best without holding back.”
He scoffs at your words. “I think I should be saying that to you instead, darling. I’d hate to paint any dirt on that pretty face of yours.”
“Ah, you’re calling me pretty? Why thank you. But as I’ve said,” your eyes darken slightly with amusement, “don’t hold back.”
You stand still, standing tall without moving to any protective stance and they all watch as the gentleman of a different gang begins to lung at you.
His fist grazes past your face and when he almost stumbles on his feet to return back to his stance, the man realizes you’ve just dodged an attack of his. Brows furrowing, he looks your way to find a raised brow made his way.
“You’re holding back,” you say with a small pout. “I’m kind of disappointed you’re underestimating me, good sir.”
It’s easy to rile him up because a man like him doesn’t like it when their masculinity is being challenged. He goes in for another punch and when you dodge that one, his leg is ready to hit you at your blind spot, only it doesn’t get far because once more, he’s barely able to get within an inch of your bubble.
For a second Seokjin was almost afraid for you but seeing as that man is only making a fool out of himself, he lets out a bored sigh, knowing just how one-sided this has quickly become.
“Why don’t we add a weapon?” He suggests and you readily agree.
“Whatever you’d like.”
He reaches for a dagger while Mingyu hands you your katana and in split seconds, he thrusts it your way. Only a step to the side and a knee-kick up his stomach almost has him reeling. Yet the man doesn’t give up as he goes for you again.
A clash of the blades.
And he’s pushed to the floor.
“What a disappointment,” you say as you spin your katana along your fingers before letting it rest at your side. “Anyone else?”
A few more challenges you, not wanting to believe just how easy it was for you to knock down the first guy, only to realize you indeed have power as well as skills seconds into the fight with you. One of them gets close, however, when their blade grazes your hair, breaking the clip of your veil and causing your hair to cascade down your shoulders.
The darkness in your eyes only becomes more and more clear after each dodge and attack until you’re faced with the final challenger who threw his blade your way, which ends up missing completely and going for the side but you’re quick to grab it and throw it back to land it right before the tip of his shoe.
You turn for a second, gazing silently at the man the blade had almost hit if you hadn’t saved it, and Hoseok acknowledges you with a small nod.
“How?” The man coughs out and your attention is brought back to him.
You let out a small sigh. “Upset you were defeated by someone who carries a vigina in between her legs?” You hate to admit this but, “In the end, I am my father’s daughter after all.” A powerful man so strong almost no one can oppose him. You trained so well under your father you sometimes forget some people were never on his level to begin with — the only good thing that came out of being his daughter — though you guess it was also the very reason you had hurt a lot.
So in all honesty, these people weren’t even worth your time. Sure some of them put up a fight but these were leading members of the mafias you were once so afraid of.
What a let down.
You turn around to head for your father’s casket once more when the last man takes hold of the blade before his feet, running your way and ready to lead a surprise attack.
Only to be stopped by Mingyu who’s quick on his feet, stepping up before you and twisting his blade out of his hand.
Yuna jabs him on the neck and Yeojun stands at a protective stance in front of you.
The room falls quiet as you turn around while a few more of your Reapers have surrounded themselves around you with glares leveling around the room.
And that’s when they realize just how unrecognizable the Reapers faces are to them. After all, despite the fact that not everyone in this room was in your father’s favors, they have all encountered moments with his people. But looking at the people who have come to protect you, none of them are faces that were loyal to your father.
The people who served your father are all gone, replaced with your own people.
A look at the casket then a look your way.
And that’s when it hits them.
“You…” Someone points a finger your way, eyes wide as they level an accusation at you. “How did the Reaper die?” He asks the very question everyone else in this room has.
Finally they’re speaking your language.
Your lips tug into a smirk and that is all the answer they need.
Someone steps up to try and force their way through, only to be stopped by Namjoon’s arm.
“That’s enough,” he speaks in a low, commanding voice.
Another leader steps up, and then another. You stand at the very center of the room, a few Reapers by your side while your allies watch them with careful gazes.
When the remaining mafia members sees you’ve already built your own dynasty with your father’s former allies playing at your side, the consuming aura which exceeds from the new Reaper is so powerful the room becomes suffocating.
And that’s when it hits them: you’ve already taken the throne and they were fighting for nothing.
When the room empties and all that’s left are you and your Reapers, you stand there staring at your father’s casket as still as ever.
Everything falls silent once more and the longer you stand there looking at the room which looks so perfect without a hint of flower in disarray, the harder it is for you to keep still.
“You’re doing it wrong,” you hear your father’s voice in the back of your mind. “Why can’t you get it right?” He asked with irritation clear in his voice.
You coward before him, brows creasing with insecurity because you hated it. You just wanted to get it right yet nothing seems to be going your way.
“I’m sorry, father, I promise I’ll do it right next time.”
“Then show me,” he said and you faltered a little.
Yet father remained still with the slightest hint of budge as he stares down at you, eyes cold and dark as they had always been from the moment you left your mother’s womb.
“Do it right,” he said. “I want perfection. I don’t want disorder.”
You stomp up to the casket and kick it as hard as you possibly can, causing the wooded thing to crack and fall from where it was placed on.
The loud crash alerts your Reapers but they say nothing as they watch you from where they are, watching the boss who seems to be losing herself little by little.
You pick up a flower vase, throwing it at the casket which holds empty all for the sake of image. You had burned your father along with the former Reapers that had followed him and all their ashes have already been thrown into the ocean.
All that’s left is an empty room made for your armies to build themselves up. You’re creating your own empire whose legacy will exceed that of your father’s. It’s been weeks since his assassination and his presence should no longer hinder you in any way but why is it that he’s still here?
All in your head?
You throw another vase. A third. Then take some flowers that had been left for your father and smash them to the floor. They tear against the force of your hits, petals flying off, dirty and wet yet you can’t seem to stop.
“I want perfection.”
You create chaos.
“I don’t want disorder.”
Stop it.
Crashing and falling. Destruction and disorder are all that you seem to be able to make. But you don’t want perfection. Not like your father. Nothing like your father.
All his life father wanted perfection but you fell in love with disorder. If nothing you did in your father’s eyes was ever right then you’ll create disorder. He hates it and he hates you, it’s a perfect combination.
He never loved you anyway.
“I would be mad but…I’m actually quite proud.”
You scoff silently in your own thoughts, wanting nothing more than to rid of anything that reminds you of your father. Yet no matter what you think of to do, no matter how many physical things you’ve already thrown away, nothing is harder than getting rid of his presence that lives on in your head.
Get out, you say. Just get out.
But he’s not going anywhere and you aren’t sure what to do anymore.
A cut to your hand caused by a shattered vase and you turn at your second in command who watches you with a silent gaze. You aren’t sure what’s on his mind but you’re sure he’s a bit concerned yet at the same time, used to your sudden outburst.
“Mingyu,” you whisper as you show him the gash and blood that oozes out from the palm of your hand. It’s on your non-dominant hand so at least you won’t have to worry too much. Brows furrowed, lips slightly pouting, you look up at him as a child would when they’ve gotten hurt and have to tell an adult. “It hurts,” you say and stare down at the cut on your hand, not liking the stinging sensation because it reminds you well of your father.
Then again, everything reminds you of your father so why does one more pain even matter?
It doesn’t.
“Of course it would.” Mingyu takes your wrist with a heavy sigh and Yuna hands him a white cloth, to which he carefully uses to wipe carefully around the cut. “What did we say about throwing a tantrum?”
You glare up at him. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, tugging you lightly and keeping his hand on your wrist as the two of you begin to head out of the room.
The room is nothing but trash after what you had done. Nothing remains perfect except for the remaining black dahlia which sits still on the floor.
Just as your betrayal to your father.
Just like you and your father’s hatred for one another.
He doesn’t love you, he never did. Whether he was truly proud of you or not, you don’t care anymore. You’ve lost touch of feelings long ago yet he still haunts your demons each and every day.
You hate him and the black dahlia is there to prove it right.
The repeated footage plays again and again as if a gif before his eyes and Namjoon isn’t sure what to make of it. Taehyung was able to verify that this wasn’t anything fake and he knows how good the man’s computer skills are but still, Namjoon has his suspicions.
This is his brother after all, the very person he’s been missing almost all his life, in a scene he’s never witnessed before until you sent this over. In all those years during the time he had first gone missing, Namjoon did all that he could to find any source of information in order to find his brother — with his limited skills and power because he had been so young then.
Who would have thought his brother had been with you all along.
“What’s on your mind?” Seokjin asks when he and Yoongi walks in to find the boss lost in thoughts.
Without looking up to know who it was that walked in, Namjoon continues staring at the footage played on loop. “My brother was seventeen when he went missing,” he says, still confused as all the questions are piling up before his eyes. “I thought that he might’ve gotten himself into trouble but this clip says otherwise. He’s living as if he doesn’t have a little brother waiting for him at home. What if he went missing on purpose?”
“You’re saying your father had something to do with his case?” Yoongi asks, raising a brow as the two of them takes a seat.
“The Reapers and Bangtan, we were enemies at the time,” Namjoon states. “We were never on good terms, ever, until I tied that down with Y/N as a vessel between our hands. My father would have never done that if he were still alive. It would make sense for him to send my brother there to infiltrate their home and find some sort of weakness.”
“But he never came back,” Yoongi says and the three of them stare at the monitor which shows Namjoon’s lost brother speaking kindly to a little girl.
A little girl who still lives today, the pure and innocence in her eyes no longer there and had ceased to exist.
“Whatever she knows,” Namjoon plays his finger along his temples with frustration, “I highly doubt a woman like her will give me all the answers without wanting to torture me first.”
“Well.” Yoongi doesn’t finish his sentence but they all understand. You had been loyal and faithful to them in all the days the eight of you were together but they had let you down.
That pretty lady who had the gentlest smile with the kindest heart no longer shines for them. Instead, that pure love you once had for the world itself has ceased from existence. They can still remember that broken girl who had been so desperate to save the relationship, fallen on her knees, only to be left with embarrassment and shame.
They did that to you.
And now here you are, no light left in your eyes, as if all the things you had gone through — whatever they were — had simply broken you.
You broke.
But when? And why? And how?
It is a question they know they will never get the answer to.
“Whatever two cent she’s going to give you, you have it take it,” Seokjin tells him. “At least then you’ll know more than what you do now.”
He’s right. Namjoon’s going to have to suck up whatever it is you have in store for him. No matter how unfair you will treat him, he’ll have to go through with it if he wants to know more about his brother.
All his life he’s has sworn Jungwon was still alive, always refusing to believe in anything otherwise. His brother wouldn’t just up and leave him like that after all. He wouldn’t just leave him alone with their father without a good explanation.
So where is he now? What happened to him and why hadn’t he come back to him?
Only you hold all the answers he wishes to know.
“What did I say?”
“Perfection.” You repeat his motto as if a doll in a trance and all your hands and feet are tied by the puppeteer who is your father. “Perfection.”
“Not disorder.”
“Not...disorder,” you say, eyes blank and staring straight ahead, voice a monotone your heart and ears have yet to get used to.
“That’s right.” He almost seems proud of himself seeing you like this, his daughter, his only heir, without life in her eyes and only responding well to the words he asks her to do. You’re just a pawn to his eyes, nothing more, nothing less, and slowly by slowly, bit by bit, he’s creating you into the perfect little puppet he wishes you had been from the very beginning. He has his fingers wrapped around the strings which tie you up as one would a doll.
You have nowhere to escape.
“Kill him,” father commands and you stare at the man who sits in the room with the two of you, arms and legs tied to a lone chair that sits in the dark room saved by a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
Kill him.
Kill him.
Kill him.
You’ve never killed a man before, not by your own hands, and this will be the first day you will prove your loyalty to your father. The day you will finally give all of yourself to him.
Hands and feet. All the strings that control your limbs.
You raise your hand and father steps back, watching you carefully with hawk eyes.
“I want perfection,” he repeats again and again. “Straight through the forehead. Do not miss.”
No second choice, no ‘otherwise something will happen to you.’ None of it. Because father expects the best out of you, nothing but perfection. If you can’t be perfect, you can’t be his little puppet doll. You have to be perfect.
Something pulls at your finger when it lands on the trigger as if a force screaming at you to run away, trying to pull you away from doing this. Because the second you have your first kill, you can never go back and the little girl who held so much hope and love for the world will no longer exist.
But where else can you run except the arms of your father who will never let you escape? You have nowhere to go.
You’re trapped. The second you broke, your past self no longer lives.
You’re dead and there is no one to save you.
They’d be all too late anyways.
You pull the trigger and the bullet flies straight into the forehead of the man. He falls back and the chair follows along with him with a loud thud. Blood pools all around from the head and you know right then and there that there’s no going back.
You stare at your hand which is wrapped in white bandage, alone in your vast bedroom surrounded with nothing but darkness. It can’t stop trembling, why can’t it stop trembling?
You thought you were over it. You were supposed to be over it. How many years has it been since your first kill? How many kills have you done after that first one?
Many more that will never be able to fit if you were to count using your fingers and many of them were instigated by none other than your father. You’ve done so much to earn your father’s trust, repeatedly committing crimes after crimes just to please him and prove your loyalty to him.
You may have looked like a try-hard before his eyes, doing all that you can to make him proud.
It worked, it seems, when the moment you stood above his dying body and he had no idea it would be you to eliminate him in the end.
He’s gone now, no longer here to order you around and rule above you.
He’s supposed to be gone but why is he still living in your head?
Ah, you hate this. You hate this so much.
A moment of anger and you punch your hurting hand against the countertop of your vanity. Disarray falls once more and you push everything off, causing many things to crash and break yet despite the stinging pain that appears from the palm of your hand, you ignore it all.
Your knees buckle underneath you and you fall to the floor of your room, hands hovering over your head as if trying to contain yourself from your father trying to get in.
Get away, get away, get away!!
You scream and scream but you know that no matter what happens, you’re still afraid.
Afraid of screaming, of making a single sound, of everything that reminds you of your father.
You’re afraid of him.
He’s gone but he’s here and you hate this more than anything in the world. It’s better that he’s gone but no matter what, father will always cause you fear whether he’s dead or alive and you hate how weak he makes you.
You hate him.
You hear Mingyu’s voice. He only calls you your name when you’re like this. He probably heard the loud crashing from outside and was alerted. Everyone knows that whenever you’re having your moments, Mingyu is the best person to go to.
And now here he is, knelt before your trembling body which can’t seem to control its own self. You feel his gentle touch against the wrist of your injured hand as he forces his way in.
“Don’t clench, Y/N, you’re only hurting yourself more.”
You shake your head, unable to listen. “I can’t,” you whisper softly. “He’s here, Mingyu. Get rid of him. Get rid of that bastard.”
“He’s not here.”
“He is.” You pull your arm back from him forcefully, refusing to hear a word he’s saying as you sit up to stubbornly curl your body into a defensive ball. “He’s here, he’s here, and he will always stay. He’s never going to leave.”
“He’s only here because you’re letting him.”
“What else can I do?” You want to cry, to tear up, to feel all the pain at once but your eyes are so dry you can do no such thing. Instead, you’re left with an uncontrollable trembling body and an injured hand, facing Mingyu who crouches before you and refuses to leave you alone. “What can I do when he’s always been here all my life? I can’t get rid of him. I thought that if he left physically, things would be better but I was wrong. It’s just like how it was when he was still alive. Father would never hit me but he constantly tortured my mind and now I can never get rid of him. I can’t and I…I…”
You can’t tell him that you’re afraid, that father scares you more than anything and that you want to be safe from the fears.
Yet Mingyu knows and Mingyu understands just as the day he gave you his life.
That’s why, without hesitation, your second in command slowly reaches for you once more. He’s careful, cautious, with eyes never leaving yours. With a hand wrapped around your hand, he takes a moment to assess your permission before carefully pulling you in.
Your body continues to tremble even as your head eventually lays against his chest and he’s holding onto you carefully, just as Mister Butler once did when he was still alive and taking care of you. You stare blankly at nothing before you, letting the quiet sound of the room echo on, listening to the steady beat of Mingyu’s heart.
He does this often when you can’t control yourself, when things get too overwhelming and the world becomes too scary for you to face. Yuna used to care for you like this until it got too difficult for her to accommodate to your needs.
You’re unpredictable after all, and Yuna’s nothing but a child. A child can’t look after another child, and so Mingyu took over the role during moments when things get too rough for you. When the world is closing in, causing you nightmares after nightmares, Mingyu is right there to lend you his arms and the steady rythme of his heartbeat.
You will always remember the beat of his heart.
For the longest time you sit there in silence, listening to his heartbeat while trying your best to tune out the rest of the world. Just as he’s constantly had to repeat over and over again throughout the years of serving for you.
Yet your body still trembles when Mingyu speaks again.
“You promised Mr. Kim a meeting at five today,” he says and you blink, unconcerned for it.
“It’s nearly five.” You fall silent once more and he waits for a while until you finally break from his arms to stand. “Will you be alright?” He asks, eyes trailing after you with genuine concern.
“I have to fake it, don’t I?”
Mingyu sighs. There’s no way for him to convince you otherwise. After all, nothing gets in your way of doing your duties, no matter how bad your breakdowns may be merely seconds before meeting a member outside of the Reapers. You’ve learned to fake your emotions so well before everyone’s eyes, having been taught to do so from a very young age.
“At least let me wrap your hand again.”
You let him.
“How is she?” When Mingyu walks out of your room to let you dress, Yuna and Yeonjun are instantly at his feet, concerns clearly marked on their faces.
“She’ll be alright.”
“So she’s a mess,” Dasom interprets from the side of the wall, a furrow in her brows.
The two younger ones frown. “Why won’t she just cancel everything and rest?” Yuna asks, her head falling to the floor.
“You know boss’s stubbornness far exceeds any of our concerns. Now go back to your posts, simply worrying about her won’t let boss’s problems disappear just like that.” They know he’s right so without further ado, the two of them are on their feet, trodding along back to where they should be with one last glance made towards your closed door.
Hearing Dasom’s voice from the side, Mingyu looks up to find her watching him with expectancy in her eyes, letting him know that she wasn’t going to go anywhere unless he spilled.
He runs a hand through his hair, sighing. “Sometimes I wish she would just cry.”
“You know that won’t happen anytime soon.”
“Yeah well, that demon in her head isn't going anytime soon either.”
“The day she ever sheds a tear again,” she steps up to him with a hand on his shoulder, “our dear boss won’t cry pretty, so you’d better be prepared for that. Boss will hurt...and so will we.”
How many years has it been since she joined your side and pledged her loyalty to you? In all those years, you’ve never once shed a tear.
Mingyu and Dasom both met you after you were broken. The only one to ever witness it all was Yuna.
A little puppet in the making for your father to control.
But how does the puppet pick herself up after cutting the strings of the puppeteer, when she’s never known to control her own strings?
1K notes · View notes
rockstarfairy · 6 months ago
Pairing: Loki x female reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Warning: Injury, Blood, Sad & Insecure Loki 🥺
Summary: You ditched Loki on your first date. Or did you ?
Author's note: i hope you're going to enjoy this one !!
from the first day he met you, he had found your presence to be somehow affecting him peculiarly.
he hated people. and he believed everyone around him could sense it too. starting with the way he rolled his eyes whenever someone tried to talk to him, to the point where he just fully ignored them. people somehow gets irritated with this slight transgression of him, in which, he found it amusing and self-achieved.
but then there's you. an innocently sweet mortal who never gets tired to approach him. he tried to dodge you at first. but the moment you knocked on his door at 2 in the morning because the thunderstorm had scared you, wearing nothing but your bunny pyjama with a fluffy white blanket wrapped around your small figure, he had swore himself to the valhalla that he'll make sure your delicate being is eternally safe from any varmint creatures that had breathed the same air as yours.
now that the two of you have grown closer, loki has braved himself to take you out on a dinner. though you had insisted to have this dinner at somewhere far more surreptitious, loki being the loki he is has already planned a whole ass dinner in this fancy italian restaurant recommended by the one and only, tony stark himself.
the two of you had promised to meet at the restaurant around 7pm. at first, loki had offered to take you there by himself. but since you need to attend a mission by yourself at 2pm, you told him to wait for you at the restaurant.
and so he did.
and its already 10pm.
and you still haven't showed up.
he had ordered two plates of seafood risotto for the both of you. and two glasses of strawberry danquiri. truth to be told, he had always hated both the seafood risotto and strawbery danquiri ever since the themed italian lunch party that tony had once forced asked everyone to attend. he had cursed on how unappetizing midgard's foods are. but then he saw you. the way you moaned innocently with both of your eyes closed when you relished a spoonfull of risotto. and the way that you gulped down atleast three glasses of strawberry danquiri all by yourself. he was indeed, fully mesmerised by you he even remembered you had asked the chef to add more shrimps into your risotto. six, to be exact. and in that moment, he realized that he'd fallen in love with you.
he looked down at the untouched risottos and danquiris.
he was waiting for you.
so that the two of you could eat together.
but most importantly, he actually wished that he'll be brave enough to answer you, when you ask him about the emerald necklace that he had safely put within the folded white napkin on your seat, which he believed, looks majestic on your neck. the same neck that he wished one day, if he is given the honour, to put his mark on it. so that everyone shall know that you're his. his forever.
"sir, you've been here for almost 3 hours. and based on your past crimes, our customers really wished for you to leave."
of course.
without uttering a single word, he slowly standing and made his way towards the main entrance. after all, he's too tired and achingly broken to even defending himself as he usually would.
he grabbed the necklace, though.
and the entire restaurant laughed.
"i cant believe he actually have a date. who's crazy enough to date this crazy guy ?"
"nah, i think he just got ditched."
"as he should."
he stopped hearing those awful remarks once he got out from the restaurant. he should've known better. why would you go on this date with him ? he murdered people. your people. there is not even a single reason for you to treat him this nicely.
perhaps, these people are right. he don't deserve you. neither anyone else. he's a monster. the kind of monster that parents tell their children at night to keep them from misbehaving.
"l-loki ? loki wait !!"
its you.
he heard you.
but he didn't looked back.
"loki please !! wait..for..me-"
"WHAT ?!" he spat.
now that his back is fully turned, he's able to see you ever so clearly. you looked beautiful, as always. the suit you're adorned in, similarly to natasha's but white in colour, has showed how defined your curves are. you are definitely a god's favourite. his favourite. there's only one thing that seems quite off. something isn't right. and then his eyes landed on your abdomen. and thats when he saw it.
you're bleeding.
he can see, god forbid, the crimson red blood of yours leaking through your white suit.
you managed to have just enough strength saying "im sorry" before collapsing to the floor. luckily, loki caught you just in time.
"darling ?? shit- stay with me love, stay with me.."
"l-loki i-im so sorry..im sorry"
loki hurriedly wrapped his left arm around your bloodied waist, and his right one lifted your limp legs against his body. carefully, he lifted you up, as if you're the most fragile item he'd ever touch, and carried you to the dark alley of the street so he could heal you with his seidr.
once he makes sure the two of you are far enough from the main street, he put you down, ever so gently.
"love ? love, i need you to stay awake for me, alright ? will you do that for me ?"
he sounds desperate. he's begging.
you mumbled a small 'ok' and he immediately unzipped the upper part of your suit, leaving you only in your sportsbra. gently, he put his right palm on your wound, and magically absorb a few of your pain. oh how he wished to take all the pain from you. if only his magic was stronger. if only he was stronger.
while working on his seidr, loki looked you into the eyes. as if, he wanted to make sure that you're still here with him.
"you're doing absolutely wonderful, my sweet. now, hang on just a little. im almost done."
you weakly nodded. his left arm is supporting your back, and you snuggled closer to the crook of his neck. you can feel him sweating. trembling, even. he seems..scared.
"its done, darling. how're you feeling, my dear ?"
you looked down at your wound area. its gone. the wound. the area is so smooth similarly to a baby's skin.
"thanks lo. loki, i am so sor-"
"dont. you were injured. its not your fault, my dear."
deep down, he had thanked the scattering stars on the caliginous sky that you're not badly injured. that he was able to save you.
"can..can we do this date again ? this time i'll let you pick me up. no mission, i promise ! we can even go there together..if you like ?"
he chuckled. his right hand tucked your hair behind your ear, and caressed your cheek in the most loving manner you'd ever felt. the touch made you shiver. and oh boy you're absolutely whipped.
"as much as i found you adorable for asking me out on a date, i prefer that to be my job, dear."
he smiled. and pressed a soft, tender kiss on your forehead.
"now, what do you say for a cup of tea in my room ?"
and so you nodded eagerly.
he didn't forget about the necklace, though.
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