#all I know is I saved it off here in 2013
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The Fangirl & The Final Girl
#zine#zines#fangirl#fangirling#final girl#2013#feminist art#celebrity culture#le gothique féminin#idk who to credit with this#all I know is I saved it off here in 2013#if anyone knows who did it let me know so I can give full credit#q
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best years * fem!driver
growing up in a predominantly male environment, she only ever had two friends she could count on. this is what it was like growing up with oscar and logan.
pairings: oscar piastri x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver
warnings: -
notes: this was so hard to write for no reason
(series masterlist) | (📂 pre-formula 1)
2013
she leans against the wall behind her, fingers nervously picking at the skin around her nails. she’s the only girl in yet another karting race.
around her are countless boys excitedly greeting their friends, some of whom they have not seen in months from the long break. they would only spare her a quick glance before forming their own circles and talking amongst themselves.
she simply sighs and fishes for her phone in her back pocket. she will just pretend to text blythe, who is all the way back home, hours from where she is.
sure, she had plenty of girl friends from karting when she was growing up. but amidst puberty and coming into their own, her friends had simply moved on to other hobbies and interests — one that didn’t involve pouring your heart and soul onto the race track.
so there she stands, all by herself in the corner.
she feels a presence next to her, prompting her to lift her head. there stands a boy with sandy brown hair and his arms folded over his chest. who she will come to later know as oscar. but not just yet.
beside him is another boy, bright blue eyes with dirty blonde hair. they’re engaged in a conversation, paying no mind to the girl sending several messages to her younger sister without a response.
“okay, gather up, please!”
she would wind up making it into the top 30 that race.
“hey, you made it into top 30!” her mother engulfs her in a tight hug and sways side by side. “i’m so proud of you! you did so well!”
“thank you,” she giggles, pulling back slightly to catch some air. her hand reaches around the older woman’s body to wipe the sweat from her top lip. “are we still getting pizza after this?”
her father laughs, throwing his head back. “you never forget a promise, kid.”
“of course!” she cheers, jumping up as she claps her hands. “can i get a hawaiian pizza?”
“absolutely,” her mother beams, squeezing her on the chin followed by another hug.
she sighs and throws her head back, appreciating the sun that barely burns her skin. she scratches her head and gathers up her hair to pull it into a ponytail.
looking around, she locks eyes with somebody — the same boy from earlier with the sandy brown hair. he’s got the most charming smile, sending it her way along with a thumbs up.
blood rushes to her cheeks as she returns him a thumbs up and a courteous nod.
then he turns away, whisked away by his parents.
2014
“you’re only saying that cause i beat you on the track again,” she answers nonchalantly with an eyeroll. she folds her arms over her chest, scanning the boy head to toe. “it’s okay to lose to girls sometimes. it’s rare, i know, yet here i am.”
“an absolute fluke,” the boy scoffs at her, cheeks red in frustration and fists clenched by his side. “my dad says there’s no space for girls on the racetrack.”
“oh, really? say that to my top 10 finish and you barely making the cut,” she spits, anger lacing every word. “loser.”
his jaw drops. “hey, take that back!”
“bite me,” she grins, “you loser.”
his arm is barely able to land a hit on her shoulder when he stumbles back, a bigger figure blocking her from the frustrated kid. she barely flinched, now shocked at the something that separated her from a minor injury.
“hey, piss off, will you?”
“whatever, dude.”
her saving grace turns around, a small welcoming smile on his face. it’s someone she recognises — slowly becoming a familiar face for her every time she’s on for a karting race. “are you alright?”
she huffs, her fists now clenched by her side. “i had that covered. i didn’t need your help.”
he gives her a tired stare, obviously not biting into her words to be edged towards an apology. he just smiles again. “i know, but i thought i’d end it before a fight happened.”
“what if that’s exactly what i wanted?” she asks, an eyebrow raised as her hands rests on her hips. “you don’t know that.”
“don’t bother,” he chuckles, glancing at the ground before lifting his head to look at her again. “‘grats on the top 10 finish today.”
she narrows her eyes down. “thank you.”
“oscar, by the way,” he says again, hand stretched out toward her.
“(y/n),” she nods at him with a forced smile. she drops both of their hands. “you’re tough to race, oscar. sometimes i just wanna crash into you with my kart.”
“i get that a lot, thank you,” he grins. he points behind her, prompting her to turn around. “the blonde over there’s my friend. that’s logan.”
she nods. “i’ve seen you guys together a couple of times.”
“we go to school together.” oscar pauses. “hey, logan! come over here!”
the blonde, logan, whirls around and jogs over to them without a question. he approaches them with a grin. “oh, hey! you’re the one that passed me earlier! you’re quick.”
“thank you, i like making boys cry.”
“i never said you made me cry.”
“you may as well have.”
“maybe next race if you can do it again.”
“oh, i’ll bet on that!” she grins, giving him a knowing stare.
logan smiles down at her. “we’re going to get pizza after this. do you want to join oscar and i?”
and the rest is history, as they say.
2015
"get off your homework, man," she groans, dragging her feet to where oscar sits on her table. she shakes the boy lightly, but not enough to mess up what he's writing, and pops her head to his side. "i'm itching to go get ice cream."
"let me finish my homework. my mum will kill me," oscar sighs, attempting to wave off the girl from him. "give me like 15 more minutes."
"you said that 1 hour ago," logan says, words muffled by the pillow he's got his face smushed up against. "i'm hungry, dude."
a knock lands on the door before it creaks open, turning the heads of two of three people who rest in her bedroom.
"dalton, dude!" logan grins, patting the empty spot on the bed next to him. "you're home! how was school?"
"i learned math today," the young boy excitedly answers, running over to the american with a giddy grin on his face. he jumps onto the bed, only to be promptly pulled away by his older sister.
"i told you to learn how to knock, dalton," she says in a tired voice. "and take off your shoes before coming into my room. remember?"
dalton looks up at her, wide eyes and lips parted as he tries to remember her words. he nods, bending down to tear off the velcro from his shoes. "i'm sorry, (y/n)."
"that's okay," she smiles, patting his head. "just don't do it again, okay?"
he nods, before hurriedly jumping onto the bed. this time, logan has the blankets up before engulfing the small kid under it with a bear hug. "what kind of math did you learn today?"
"addition," dalton mutters. he turns to look at oscar, who has yet to acknowledge his presence. "oscar."
"hi, dalton," he mutters, head resting in his palm as he focuses on the paper in front of him. "give me a minute, kid. i'll talk to you later, okay?"
"not okay," dalton huffs, arms folded over his chest. he leans into logan's knees and drops his head on the mattress. "i'm hungry, (y/n)."
she grins. "we've got to wait for oscar to finish his homework before we can go get food."
oscar sighs. he drops his pen on the table, turning around to face the room. "i guess i can take a break."
he gives her a knowing grin, rolling his eyes when she proudly smiles at him. he's always had a soft spot for dalton, the small boy filling up the sibling-shaped hole in his heart. "what do you feel like having, kid? ice cream?"
the young boy jumps on logan, prompting the loudest yelp to pass his lips. his arms wrap around dalton as they roll off the bed. logan launches him in the air and catches him immediately, a loud giggle bouncing off the walls of the girl's bedroom.
"i want spaghetti!" dalton cheers. "but you have to make it for us, oscar!"
oscar sighs again. he drops his head. "okay, i'll make some spaghetti."
2016
"happy birthday, (y/n)!" the door swings open, hitting the wall with a thud.
immediately, the girl shoots up from her bed, hair a mess with both of her eyes still closed. "man, what the fuck!"
she rubs her eyes, only to be met by the smug grins of her friends as they saunter into her bedroom with cake in logan's hands and two wrapped boxes in oscar's.
"we said happy birthday," logan says through gritted teeth, "say thank you."
"what time is it?" she groans, pulling the blanket up to her stomach. "isn't it a little too early for you to be terrorising me?"
"1pm is not early," oscar shakes his head in disappointment. "i texted you to be ready by 1! we're catching a movie, remember? we're supposed to go catch mockingjay in theatres."
she frowns. "i'm sorry. i went out with my girls last night," she explains, slowly moving to the edge of her bed. "i can be ready in 15 minutes."
logan holds the cake to her face. "enough yapping. the candle's about 5 seconds from merging with the cake i spent so hard to find," he sighs. "make a wish, scrub."
she looks up at them, daggers thrown just through her glare. she blows out the flame as her two friends cheer softly for her, oscar clapping before patting her shoulder. "okay, let's go catch our movie."
she holds her hands out to the boxes in his hands. "presents first."
2017
"hey, where are you?" oscar's face fills up her phone screen, eyebrows furrowed as he navigates the crowd in the mall. "are you not coming early for the race?"
she bites down on her lip and looks down, briefly avoiding oscar's stare. "i'll still be coming. just not so soon."
"what?" oscar's voice squeaks in disbelief, truly not believing what he's hearing from his friend. "but we always get ice cream before the race. why didn't you tell us you were ditching?"
"it was last minute, i'm sorry," she frowns, glancing at the boy standing next to her. "i'll just see you guys there."
oscar's face immediately drops. "oh, you're with your boyfriend?"
she rolls her eyes. "yes, but i'll still be there for the race. what's the big deal?"
oscar shrugs. "nothing, mate. i'll just see you on the track, (y/n)."
"hey, what is your problem?" she calls out, head tilting at his sudden coldness. "i've got other people to be with besides you and logan, you know. i have other friends too."
"friends, maybe i understand. but this guy?" he chuckles, rubbing his chin as he tries to sympathise with her. he really tries, but it's difficult when the older boy has made his best friend's life miserable in the past 3 months and she's done is defend him.
"mate, come on. be serious. he won't stick around forever - he's a guy."
"you're a guy."
"and i've never ditched you for a girl, have i?"
"i'd understand if you did."
"well, i'm not flakey," oscar spits at her, glaring at her through the camera on his phone. "i'll see you later."
his face disappears, the home screen of her phone now the only thing staring at her with the silence in her living room. she sighs and drops her phone onto the couch next to her.
"you alright, babe?"
she nods weakly, but her heart races in her chest. she's always been very headstrong and stubborn with oscar, but this was the first time he's ever shown a sign of frustration with her.
as deadpan as he usually is, her chest weighs down on the implication this young relationship could have on a friendship that's been going on for years.
"yeah, i'm fine."
"it sucks, i know," logan sighs, patting her head. he's leaned back against the wall, sitting up as she cried into his chest. "we're only 16 - this won't be the last guy you'll be with."
this only made the girl cry harder into his chest. truthfully, he's got no idea what to do. comforting crying people has never been his forte; being more on the sensitive end himself.
"i'll beat him up, though, if you'd like," logan offers lightheartedly. this is progress, at least, cause it made her giggle for a second before she resumed her sobs. "i can take him in a fight."
"don't do that," she laughs through her tears, "yet."
"i'll even take oscar with me."
"no... oscar's mad at me."
"he's not mad at you, (y/n)."
"but i told you that fucker was no good," an australian accent falls upon the room, making her lift her tear-stained face up to look at him. "i hate to be the one to say that to you."
"fuck off," she sobs, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "i already feel like shit."
oscar nods, but he does sit on her other side. sandwiched by the two guys, oscar just fishes for something from his bag. presented to them, three separate pints of ice cream with spoons.
she smiles, passing down the other pint to logan. but she doesn't say anything to the australian who's already opened up his share and has started eating.
she just presses her back to the wall behind her and looks ahead. she digs her spoon into the dessert. "i saw logan with a girl in the hallway the other day."
"hey, what the hell!"
2018
she holds up her phone, grinning to herself as she takes a video. she runs over to the boy zipping up his race suit. "oh, my god! it's logan sargeant, sir! can i have a couple seconds of your time for an interview?"
"(y/n), you made it!" he laughs, wrapping his arms around the smaller girl. "oscar should be around here somewhere."
"i wouldn't miss your first race, of course," she states matter-of-factly with an eye roll. she squeezes his side and leans in as he presses his lips to her cheek. she puts her phone into her pocket. "i'm always your biggest fan."
"you're the president of my fan club, right?" his eyes light up, teasing her as he rests his arm on her shoulder. "i wouldn't accept my fan club if it wasn't you running it."
she shrugs. "maybe, but i'm gonna need you to set me up on a date with max fewtrell."
"i thought you wanted to go out with charles leclerc?"
"he's got a girlfriend."
"i think max has got a girlfriend too," logan chuckles, simply amused by her presence. "tough luck, dude."
"man, i might just die an old maid," she drops her head with a frown.
"oi, what are you doing? the race is about to start," oscar scolds, hands held out as he scolds his friends. he looks at her, eyeing her up and down once more. "you're not dressed yet! it's your first race in a car. let's go, mate!"
"i didn't wanna seem so excited," she shrugs, "i don't know."
"well, there won't be a race if you're not dressed in your race suit, idiot," oscar scolds, pushing her towards the further end of the garages. "come on, i have to beat you again today. my race won't be complete if i don't."
"absolute bitch," she mutters, glaring at the two boys as she walks away. "i'll see you guys on the track - remember to look in your rearview mirror for me."
2019
the three sit in a circle, on her carpeted floor once more. "i'm sorry you didn't get a seat in f3, (y/n)," logan sighs, dropping his head in disappointment. "i can't believe it."
"it's okay." she leans back on her bed and sighs, dropping her head as well. she lifts it up again with a forced smile. "i'll watch you guys all the time, i swear. i'll be your biggest fan."
oscar shakes his head. "you'll get a seat. the season hasn't started yet - someone will pick you up."
she frowns, putting her hand on oscar's knee. "it's okay, oscar," she says softly.
how touching is it to have friends who care about your progression in a sport where you're meant to be selfish?
"you deserve a seat more than anyone i know," he sighs, pulling his legs up into his chest. he rests his chin on his knee. "it's not fair. they're overlooking you. you're so good on the track."
"not better than you, though," she jokes.
he looks at her from the side of his eye. his disappointment never leaves, "you could wind up being better than me. come on."
"there's not a lot of space for girls like me in a sport like this," she smiles slightly, squeezing his knee. "it's okay. i'll be at every single race cheering for both of you. i promise."
oscar furrows his eyebrows, still shaking his head. he's got 3 sisters - he'd be bummed if they were to pour their heart and soul into something and not have the same opportunities.
if he could, he'd simply flip the world upside down.
"don't give up, okay?" he moves his head, now cheek on his chin as he looks at the girl with hopeful eyes. "promise me - you'll be in an f1 car someday with us on tv. racing it out in the pinnacle of motorsport."
"obviously," she grins. "i won't ever let logan beat me."
"now, this is why you didn't get a seat, dude," logan jokes, exchanging a smack on the knee with the girl. "fix your attitude."
"i bet you're glad that i didn't get a seat - i'd beat you over and over in an f3 track."
"you'd have to get a seat to prove that, (y/n)."
2020
"i got you the seat!" oscar jumps onto her bed, grinning ear to ear. he squeezes the girl on her laptop, her head craned slightly to look at him. "you're going to be in formula 3!"
"what did you say?"
"you're going to be racing in formula 3 for the 2020 season, you idiot!" he screams, taking the laptop from her thighs. he closes it gently and puts it down on the ground. "dude, catch up faster!"
her eyes widen as the gears in her head slowly process what the australian has just bestowed upon her ears. her nose scrunched as a piercing scream slowly erupts from her mouth.
she stands on her knees on her bed, holding oscar's arms. "if this is a prank, i'm going to turn you into pastry!"
"it's not, i got you the seat in formula 3!" he screams, shaking her vigorously, jumping on her bed. "dude, you're a step closer to formula 1! i told you to never give up!"
"what do you mean, i never stopped racing!" she says amidst her screams, shaking oscar back as the adrenaline starts to pump through her veins. "i cannot believe it! i'm going to be in a formula 3 car!"
"yeah!" oscar jumps off his bed. "come on, let's go get drinks with logan! he's coming over with a couple of beers!"
she hops off the bed, her body going into his. they stumble back a couple of steps, oscar's back hitting the door with a thud. "dude, we can't just celebrate with a couple of beers. let's go to the club!" she shrieks, smacking his chest.
oscar tilts his head, lips pressed together. "are you sure? you're kind of uncontrollable in the club..."
"yeah, but i have the right to be tonight!" she rolls her eyes, "i just got promoted to formula 3!"
2021
"this formula 2 crap is easy," she mutters, taking her helmet off her head. she trudges towards the two in the red race suits, her balaclava also flinging off her head. "come on, oscar."
"oh, shut up," oscar laughs, wrapping an arm around her. "good job beating me for the first time."
"i made it my life's mission, actually," she whispers, dropping her head. she smiles, throwing her head back to look up at her two friends. "god, this feels amazing!"
"oh, i owe you 50, don't i?" logan frowns at oscar, hands on his hips. "i can't believe she beat you before the season ended. you growin' soft, piastri?"
"i just thought i should let her have one glimpse at beating me before i proceed to do it the rest of our lives," oscar snorts with a smug grin as he looks down at her. "feel it while you can, (y/n)."
she frowns up at him. "i'll beat you for real someday, pastry. i've done it once today, and i'll do it again."
he nods with a proud smile. "don't let that fire go out, dude."
2022
"oh, hold the front door!" she screams into the phone, turning around to smack oscar's shoulder. oscar, who was sitting quietly on her dining table, eating the spaghetti he's prepared for her household. "are you joking, mate?"
logan tilts his head at oscar, only receiving a similarly confused shrug from the australian boy. they both glance at her, confused, at her sudden scream amidst their dinner debrief after having not seen each other for a couple of weeks.
"there's no way! sebastian vettel said that about me?" she screams, smacking oscar's shoulder again.
"oh, you're kidding!" oscar grunts, smacking her hand from his shoulder. she doesn't react towards him, just jumps away to her living room with the phone still on her ear.
"you reckon she's scored a dinner with sebastian vettel with that reaction?" logan teases softly, pointing at the girl rambling away on the phone. "i've got my money on that."
oscar shakes his head. "maybe lewis hamilton through sebastian vettel."
they hear her heavy footsteps approaching the dining area. she simply drops her phone to the smaller table next to her, coming in slightly paler than they'd last seen of her a few seconds prior.
her lips slowly creep and spread into a grin. "i've been promoted to formula 1," she says breathily, her hand coming up to rest on the door frame behind her. she takes another deep breath. "sebastian's going to be race engineer in the 2023 season."
and all hell broke loose in the dining area that night.
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secret admirer (dad!ross x reader fluff)
day 1 of valentine's week by bff @abiiors!! in this one... the kids want to know how you and ross got together. cute as shit. enjoy <3
it's at dinnertime when you're first asked the question.
ross is quietly coaxing keir to finish his peas, to minimal success. eilidh swallows a mouthful of gravy-soaked mash and turns to look at you curiously. “mummy… how did you and dad meet?”
“you already know, bean,” you take a sip of your wine and smile at her. “met dad and your uncles when i helped design the stage for one of their first shows.”
ross takes a break from lecturing your son about the merits of eating your five-a-day to look at you and wink. there's a warmth in those dark eyes of his - the same one that got you hooked on him in the first place, actually - and you know he's thinking about that fateful first meeting too. “yeah, when i had to save mum, eilidh,” he chuckles. “from matty talking about his vision at a hundred miles an hour. her eyes were proper glazed over and everything, you know.”
“they still go like that when he talks to you now sometimes, mummy,” keir adds, still pushing peas around his plate. his dad and sister laugh, while your jaw falls open at the fact you've been clocked by your four year old.
he's not wrong, though.
eilidh's giggles fade into soft hums. “but how did you end up being boyfriend and girlfriend?”
ross’s eyes meet yours again. he smirks, taking a sip of his own wine. “d'you want to tell the story, love?” he asks, foot sliding up your leg under the table, flirty. “or shall i tell them how i swept you off your feet?”
“oh, is that what it was?” you tease, trapping his leg between your own.
“of course.”
you laugh. “you and i remember it differently, then. but alright,” you stretch, shuffling in your seat before looking at your kids’ anticipated little faces. “here's what happened…”
2013
“should we do something different for valentine's day?”
you turn to look incredulously at matty, exhaling your cigarette smoke. “is further context required there, or are you asking me out? because absolutely not, if so.”
“oh, charming. thank god i see you as a little sister and no more,” matty winces, taking a drag of his own cigarette before he speaks again. “i mean for the show on the 14th. we could do, like, pink lighting instead of white, or something.”
you hum. “i don't hate the idea. but i think sticking with the black and white thing is maybe a good idea for now. cohesion, recognition, establishing identity as you gear up to release the album, all that jazz, yeah?”
“good point.”
“i do like the pink, though. maybe we could do something with it in the future?”
“yeah. i'll keep it in mind. usual staging it is, then,” matty turns to face you, resting a shoulder on the brick wall. “so, given that you've theoretically rejected me…
you roll your eyes.
“... who are you seeing on valentine's day?”
“nobody. we've got a gig, remember?” you ash your cigarette glumly. “i'll be selling t-shirts with your face on them up the back of the venue all night.”
“and i love you - platonically - for that,” your friend grins. “but what about after the show?”
“after?”
“yeah.”
you ponder. “probably just going home to shower off the residual weed smell i'll inevitably take on, to be honest.”
matty laughs; his face drops when he realises you're not kidding. “oh. you're serious.”
“mhmm.”
“but,” he looks baffled. “you're twenty-three. you're cute, objectively. you're sweet. you're fun. there's really nobody you want to spend valentine's day with?”
well… your lips part of their own accord as if to speak; you quickly snap them shut before you make a sound. no. you can't tell anyone. especially matty, of all people.
apparently, though, you don't close your mouth fast enough - your friend notices, and giggles, eyes lighting up. “who is he? go on, tell me. promise i won't tell anyone, honest.”
“not a chance.”
“pleeeeeeeeeease?”
“no, matthew,” you take a final drag of your cigarette before stamping it out. “i'm never telling anyone, because it'll never go anywhere between me and him anyway, and thus i am perfectly fine just letting the crush i have fade without acting on it. i'll develop another one soon, anyway.”
no you won't. you've never fancied someone as much in your life as you fancy…
“there you are. was wondering where you'd gotten to, matty,” ross wanders round the side of the building, relief evident on his face. it seems to light up when he sees you, but that's most likely your brain playing tricks on you. “oh. hiya, love. didn't know you were in today, s'nice to see you.”
love?!
shut up. it's ross. he calls everyone that, dipshit.
you clear your throat. “hi, ross. s'nice to see you too. you look… well.”
you pray neither of the boys noticed the awkward pause while you came up with an alternative for “devastatingly attractive”, or that your voice didn't sound as small and squeaky as it sounded to you.
thankfully, neither of them mention it. ross just smiles, and all you can do is focus on not squealing at how cute his dimples are. “thanks. you look good. hair's nice like that.”
“oh,” you self-consciously touch the ponytail you hastily shoved your hat-messy hair into earlier. “thank you.”
he smiles again. “so, what are you gonna develop another of? were you talking about work?”
you say “yes” at the same time the gobshite next to you says “yeah, but then we moved onto talking about how she has no valentine's day plans but she also won't tell whoever she has a crush on that she wants to shag them because she thinks it’s unrequited.”
for fuck's sake.
sighing, you facepalm. ross blinks. “fair enough.”
“you don't think she should tell him?” matty looks aghast.
“what i think is that you should stop pestering her about it,” ross looks pointedly at matty, then turns to you. “but - and i don't want to overstep the mark here, love…”
“no, no, it's fine.”
“... you’ll never get what you really want unless you ask for it,” he finishes, a pleasant smile on his face. “what have you got to lose by doing so, anyway?”
this. our friendship. potentially my job, if i fuck it up enough.
“yeah, i suppose,” you murmur hesitantly. “i'll consider it.”
and you do - in fact, you're still considering it when you next see ross, during setup for the gig on the big day itself. he appears when you're pushing the box light into position on the tiny stage, quickly laying down his bass to run and help you, despite your protests that you've got everything under control.
seeing his arms flex as he works, though, and the way the stark white light somehow manages to warm up those dark eyes? you most definitely do not. still, you refuse to say anything to him then. or before the show, when he automatically passes you a beer so you can be included in the pre-gig cheers. or afterwards, when he risks being pounced upon by drunken fans just so he can help you pack up the merch stall, cracking jokes despite his tiredness.
it's only when you're loading the boxes of t-shirts into adam's car that you actually start to think that mentioning the crush to ross might not be a bad thing. you close the boot with a weary sigh, turning to face ross and high-five him - like you always do - with gratitude. and then he does something… strange.
he hugs you.
it's not a long hug, and definitely one of the “thanks, mate” variety, but still. it's not a common thing to happen between the two of you, ross’s arms wrapping around your shoulders and your waist and pulling you into his chest. it's warm. cosy. safe. and as soon as he lets go, you miss him.
before you get a chance to dwell on that, though, he speaks. “you coming to the pub with us now?”
“us?” your brow furrows. “who's us?”
“everyone except adam and waughy,” ross grins. “you're not the only one with no valentine's plans, love,” his face contorts into panic. “wait, fuck, i just assumed, because you said last week-”
“ross, relax, babe,” you smile, beating yourself up internally for the way the pet name just slipped out; you blame the joy that fizzed up in your stomach when he essentially admitted he's single. “i'm coming to the pub.”
he smiles again, relief evident in his eyes. “alright. good. i think we'll have a good night.”
you do, actually, despite matty monologuing the whole walk there about “you should just phone that guy you like and tell him. for the love of god, at least one of us needs to pull tonight. s'depressing if we don't”. it's actually george who manages that first, disappearing after the first round with a redhead and returning, lipstick-stained and gleefully dazed, half an hour later. matty's next, chatting up girls at the bar and collecting phone numbers by the handful, pointing out vaguely handsome men to you with “yes? no? maybe?” to no avail.
ross doesn't pull at all.
not for lack of trying from the female clientele in the pub, though - every time he leaves the table, you watch heads turn in his direction, and some bodies following. envy tinges your vision green whenever a girl approaches him, but you needn't worry; no matter how pretty or persistent or personable the girls are, ross politely chats as he waits for the drinks, bids them goodbye, and comes back to you. well, to the table. where he sits next to you.
it makes you feel good. so good, in fact, that you decide to tell him how you feel, right then and there. you take another sip of your wine - dutch courage and all - and rest your elbow on the table and your head on your hand, facing ross. “i'm glad i came out tonight.”
“so am i,” he mirrors your pose, smiling. god, you love his dimples. “it's been a good night.”
“yeah. not a bad valentine's day at all.”
ross giggles. “as good as it gets for singles,” he takes a sip of his pint, then looks at you a bit more seriously. “you spoken to that guy yet? the one you like?”
you bite down a giggle, shaking your head. “d'you think i should? ask him out?”
“if you really like him, yeah.”
“but,” you look down at the table, absentmindedly running your index finger round the rim of your glass. “what if he doesn't like me?”
“why wouldn't he?” ross's voice is soft - so are his eyes, you look up to discover. “you're great.”
“really?”
he nods. “really great.”
your heart glows. your face does the same. “thank you, ross.”
he shrugs. “i'm just telling the truth, love. now,” he grins, tapping your phone. “ask him.”
bless him.
you exhale, smiling. “alright,” you turn round to compose yourself, then look back at ross with a smile. “would you like to go for dinner with me?”
for a second, you falter as ross's brow furrows. “what, now? like a kebab- oh,” his jaw drops, and he blinks a few times. “really? it's me that you have a crush on?”
“yeah,” you bite the inside of your cheek, nervous. “is that… really bad?”
“hmm? no, no, not at all! just surprising, s'all,” ross takes your free hand in his own. he looks dazed, but he's genuinely smiling. “i had no idea you liked me like that.”
“and here i was thinking i was doing a shit job at hiding it.”
ross laughs, softly stroking the back of your hand with his thumb; warmth erupts under your skin wherever he touches. he looks at you, so tenderly you want to look away. “yes.”
your turn to be confused. “yes i was doing a shit job at hiding my crush on you? or…?”
“no, love,” ross chuckles, squeezing your hand. “yes, i'd love to go for dinner with you. tomorrow too soon?”
you feel weightless, joyous, positively giddy. but you have to stay cool, so you simply beam at him. “tomorrow's perfect.”
present day
“...so, we went for dinner - pasta, before you ask, keir - and that was it. dad said he wanted to be my boyfriend before we'd even gotten to the tiramisu,” you smile at the memory. “and then we were like that for a while, and then we got married, and then we had you two. and now, here we are.”
“that's it?” keir frowns at you, then looks up at his dad. “but you said you swept mum off her feet.”
ross snorts, ruffling his son's hair. “yeah, not literally, keeks. i just meant that she was very impressed by me.”
“i don't get it.”
“well, ask matty to explain metaphors to you when you next see him, then.”
you wince (ross laughs at that), turning to your daughter, preoccupied with petting ash the cat, who climbed onto her lap halfway through your talk. “thoughts, eils?”
“hmm,” she makes a face. “it's not a very exciting story, mum.”
“cute, though, no?”
“kind of, i guess.”
“wow, you two are hard to impress,” you sigh, turning to ross and smiling despite your kids’ boredom. “worked out well for us, though, didn't it?”
“absolutely, love. couldn't have worked out any better,” ross leans over the table to kiss you; you return it with relish.
“ewwwwwwww! gross!”
“dad, please don’t do that to mum in front of me ever again.”
#mads muses#mads does writing#dad!ross#eilidh#keir#ross macdonald x reader#ross macdonald fanfiction#ross macdonald fanfic#ross macdonald fic#ross macdonald fluff#ross x reader#valentine75
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Worst Day Ever
Summary: You have the worst day ever and Leon comforts you
Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Fem Reader (no use of y/n)
Warnings: fluff
A/N: An idea I wrote instead of sleeping. Been noticing some headcanons saying Leon isn’t good with his words. Which I can somewhat see since he’s very much a man of very few words. But when he does say something he is very well spoken. And you see in RE4R and Infinite Darkness that he’s more than willing to comfort and encourage those around him. That one scene with Ashley was so sweet, I could talk about that one scene for hours like CMON HES A SWEETYPEA. So this is just a personal headcanon I wanted to write out. Also I couldn’t find any cutesy couple cuddling pictures, they all looked like something from 2013 and I hated them so just enjoy this picture of these cats cuddling idk. Okay rant over, hope you enjoy!
It was just one of those days where it felt like everything was against you. To start off the day, you woke up to red blood spotting your favorite pajama pants. Then, had to muscle through driving to work with the intense stabbing feeling in your uterus. And even better, you had to deal with an unsatisfied customer. An irrational, unsatisfied customer at that. It took everything within you not to find something to chuck at their head. Luckily the workday came to the end, however life decided to remind you that the day itself was yet to be over. Once you got home to prepare dinner, the one major ingredient you needed to make it was not in the pantry. Starving, exhausted, and still in pain. A groan that sounded similar to the growling of a bear escaped you. Your hands began sliding down against the skin of your face harshly. You didn’t even know it was possible to feel this much rage all at once. Hot tears began to leak from your eyelids as you leaned against the island counter in the kitchen, trying to breathe in for four seconds and out. A tip you happened to find online on your lunch break. However, your thoughts flicked and swished around in your mind like a flame as you did this calming exercise,
Inhale. 1 2 3 4
I hate it. I hate it all.
Exhale. 1 2 3 4
I hate myself for being this angry.
Inhale. 1 2 3 4
I hate him for not being here.
Exhale. 1 2 3 4
I hate his job.
Blinking open your eyes you still feel this ball of fire set in your chest. Sitting upon your chest, it burned like heartburn as your thoughts wondered to your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who knew exactly how to calm you on days like this. Your boyfriend who worked so well with under pressure situations given his work. Your boyfriend who was off saving the world when you needed saving right now. You hated it. You hated sharing him with the world.
A partner isn’t for sharing, that’s literally the whole point of it isn’t it?
With a sharp exhale, your anger begins to simmer from the sudden sadness that began to drench it, taking over. Tears still streaming down your face, you give up on dinner and leave the mess for when you were feeling up to it. Walking over to the bed, you effortlessly lean over and let yourself fall on the mattress, face met with the plush material, your feet dangling off the edge. The sniffling now transcending to soft, quiet sobs. This was quite possibly the worst day ever. Maybe it was the hormones talking but you didn’t care, it felt like the worst day ever therefore it was the worst day ever. Eventually, your crying tires you out enough to rest your eyes. By the time you opened them it was already night. Slowly propping yourself up, you drowsily look around and swore you were dreaming when a familiar silhouette was laying next to you, a small smile on his lips,
“Hey” he says quietly. He didn’t know how much your presence alone meant to you especially on a day like this. Your bottom lip began to tremble and your eyes leaked tears down your face, which alarmed Leon greatly. Sitting up he creases his eyebrows and grabs your hand to guide you closer to him,
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks, his blue eyes fixated on your face. You say nothing, laying beside him, you hide your face into his chest and sniffle. All that was wrong about this day came rushing through your mind by him asking that question alone. The tears pooled into the fabric of his navy blue t shirt. The sight of you so upset was beginning to upset him. He hated seeing you cry. Wrapping his arms around you, he feels you hold him tighter. Placing a long, meaningful peck on your forehead, he then rests his head atop your head.
“Bad day?” he presses. You only nod into his shirt, hiccuping now, making your body jolt slightly. He sighs, pulling slightly away to look at your red-rimmed eyes, “Do you want to talk about it now or later?” He asks carefully.
“Later” you whisper, scrunching your nose with a sniffle. Leon purses his lips, his mind racing with ideas of how to cheer you up.
“Anything I can do?” He can’t help but ask. He’s so used to having solutions for things, it was taking him a while to realize that sometimes solutions aren’t as comforting as validation. With a sputtering chuckle you tuck your face into the crook of his neck,
“Just be here, please”
“I’m right here, always” closing his eyes, he pulls you closer and tighter into his embrace, his thumbs caressing your back and shoulder. You missed his scent, his warmth, his voice. Him being there right now was the perfect antidote for this hellish day. This time, with warmth surrounding you, you drift off to sleep almost immediately, peacefully.
Once you had woken up, you noticed that those strong arms that held you before were absent.
Was it all a dream?
The clatter of dishes in the far distance told you otherwise. Unless, given your luck, you were being robbed in broad daylight. Stretching your limbs and cracking your back, as you often did every morning, you head to the kitchen where you find Leon is cleaning up the mess of last nights -supposed to be- dinner. Being a secret agent, he sensed your presence immediately and turned his head to the side to look at you as he placed the ingredients in the pantry,
“You’re awake” with your hand on your chest, you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him.
“You’re real” he chuckles and closes the pantry door and turns to face you,
“Feeling better?”
“Now that you’re here” you say genuinely, scratching your bed head while walking toward him.
“Miss me?” You let out a tired noise as you wrap your arms around him,
“More than you know” you croak, resting your chin on his chest as you looked up at him, “Miss me?”
“Like crazy” he says swaying the both of you, his hands clasped together on your back, “ready to talk now?”
You grimace and suddenly the lines along the fabric of his shirt looked very interesting. Clearing his throat he teasingly raises an eyebrow, pointing a finger up to his eyes,
“My eyes are up here” he retorts making your snort and roll your eyes,
“Whatever” you scoff, pulling away with a smirk along your lips as you walk off to start brewing your morning coffee.
“No witty remark?” He acknowledges, his once cheesy proud smile now a frown as his eyebrows crease in concern,
“Buffering”
“Still upset?” he watches your shoulders lift and drop as you sigh and glance back at him,
“I just want to forget yesterday” you mutter. Looking over you notice Leon leaning against the counter next to you to get in your vision,
“You don’t have to tough it out for me, you know” he says, his voice suddenly much softer, “I can take it”
You couldn’t deny that sweet and comforting softness in his voice. Much less the puppy-eyed look he was giving you.
“I know, I’ll tell you in a minute. Let me just get my dose of caffeine in” you assure,
“Yes ma’am” he replies, his tone much more satisfied and proud. Once you made yours and his cup of coffee, the two of you sat at your coffee table, the sun now hung high in the sky. You start from the morning to the night, explaining every infuriating detail about yesterday. But as you explained it to him you started to feel almost irrational for getting so upset over it all and chuckled afterward,
“This all must seem so small compared to what you have to deal with. I’m sorry” Squeezing your hand, he immediately shakes his head,
“Don’t be sorry. Just because I deal with extreme situations doesn’t make yours less important” he calmly explains, “I’m the one who’s sorry, I wish I could have gotten here sooner”
Intertwining your fingers, you shake your head, a content smile on your lips,
“Don’t be, you came just in time” returning your smile he squeezes your hand again,
“Better?”
“Better”
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy fluff#resident evil#leon kennedy drabble#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil drabble#resident evil imagines#Spotify
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Just a random ask, what are some weird JTTW adaptations you’ve seen or heard about?
I can’t even begin to call them all but… if you bear with me, I shall try.
Here are a few games that I always found funny additions!
Starting off strong we have Journey to the West: Undersea Adventure (2021)! I have never seen it but LOOK AT IT.... THEY FISH
Six-eared Monkey (2021) where Six Ears goes back in time, accidentally adopts Wukong not knowing he is his future enemy and gives his life to save Child-Wukong despite knowing who he grows up to be.
Wukong's Christmas Adventure (2019) is like... saving Ruphdolh or something and Wukong is going through a mid-life crisis and also kinda depressed but CHRISTMAS. Also the Erlang and Nezha models in this movies are TERRIFYING... and also they have Wukong rap so take a look.
youtube
Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons (2013) is weird but like in a GREAT way like... I love the monster designs they give Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing, it is such a different vibe then any other movie I have seen and Honestly LOVE It for that. Really sells just how HUMAN Sanzang is dealing with POWERFUL YAO that could kill him in a second.
Bling (2016) is strong that it didn't hAVE to be Xiyouji coded characters like the Monkey, Pig, and Frog are robot storage performers, wannabe heroes and they follow their creator who is trying to propose to his girlfriend but there really is not journey or ANY need to have the robot being Wukong, Bajie, and Wujing.
Spark: A Space Tail (2016) is also BARELY a Xiyouji film but like it does have a monkey with a staff and turns out he is the son of a king and a queen of monkey planet. Really more like Lion King with the evil uncle trying to take over but with space monkeys.... and also Bajie is there.
Mo mo King (2011) is something I'm not completely sure what's it about but just that it is like a whole monkey island that Wukong-like protag works at... and also Bajie is there.
Devil's Chip (2002) again NO idea what it is really about but there is space and time travel and for some ungodly reason no wukong from what I have seen but Sanzang and Bajie company the space/time travler
Flying Monkid (1996) I have no idea why this was ever MADE like there is barely a connection to Wukong and every other demon is new or some kind of version that is barely recognizable, not to mention the animation is barely any better than Pixal art.
Flying Superboard (1990) I always just found this one strange from the animation to the art style to the design choices. Like making Wukong some kind of skateboard, nunchuck, mouse-looking creature and giving Bajie a machine gun is.... something. I have no idea what they did to Wujing, made him like a bat, goblin thing.
Midnight Goku (1989) is like a sci-fi detective story where the protag has like computer eyes that can see through people and a bo-staff and honestly, I haven't seen but just the STRETCH they use to make this Wukong-related is so insane like would have never thought of it.
Little Wukong (1987) honestly not SURE what this story is even about but like... it is nearly lost media, this is so obscure and out of the way I have a feeling it was probs a children's education show or something but idk.
youtube
The Legend of Red Boy (1989) is something that looks like candy land spat out and while I have not seen it I am so sure that it is filled with nonsensical elements I cannot begin to describe.
King Kong's Adventures in the Heavenly Palace (1959) is... more of a crossover than anything else. Just imagine a movie where instead of Wukong destroys heaven... it is Kind Kong. Legit THE king Kong from the OTHER MOVIES YES.
Pink Journey to the West (2015) is honestly not that strong I would say besides that it is just Journey to the West but they are all girls... haven't seen it but who knows maybe it is good!
Tom and Jerry Chase with Tom as Erlang Sheng and Jerry as Wukong
Fortnite Wukong... that is it
Overwatch with Xiyouji skins just think it is adorable honestly. Love the Winston as Wukong
Plants versus Zombie: Journey to the West addition
Rabbits: Party of Legends
And while this isn't EVERY weird (there is a lot) one these are that I thought were at least interesting enough. Like a lot of Xiyouji movies have strange plotpoint but honestly, they are more boring and confusing than anything memorable. At least these were the ones I always thought were fun!
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Something Old
Written for @harry-on-broadway's fic challenge.
Written prompt used: "What's this, then?"
Watching your childhood best friend (& the man you've been in love with for half your life) get married proves to be harder than you thought. Will you be able to make a quick getaway to avoid further heartbreak? Or is it finally time for the truth come out?
A/N: the pic represents more of an overall vibe rather than a definite representation of what he is wearing. but the vibes of the pic are absolutely accurate. some liberties have been taken with accurate chronology of his dating life bc this is fiction town usa baby. takes place during the fine line era, in a world with no covid. dream world. please let me know what you think!
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There was a huge water fountain, right in the middle of the hotel courtyard, making criss-cross patterns into the pool below and you couldn’t take your eyes off of it. It was soothing, in a way. Or at least you were trying to force the concept of being soothed upon yourself, trying to focus in on the sounds of the water and the lights reflecting off of it. Anything to not think about the background noise of the party, of the clinking glasses and what that sound would mean, to think of him – nope. Back to the fountain.
Your mother cleared her throat. Her eyes had been burning holes into the side of your face but you couldn’t face her or that look of pity in her eyes. Your fingers tapped against the handle of your suitcase as you kept your eyes on the water. Just keep staring at the water.
“Did you call an Uber or…?”
“I’m just going to take the rental back to the city and go from there.”
“You could always take it back to the house. Bit of a drive but…”
The thought of walking into your childhood home, alone, while his own childhood home sat right next door was too much to bear. “I don’t,” you cleared your throat as your voice caught, “I don’t think I can be surrounded by all those memories. God, Mum, this is so embarrassing –”
“Oh, baby, no. Come here” Your mom rushed over to you and wrapped her arms around you in a death grip as you let yourself collapse into her arms, feeling 8, 15 and 26 all at once. The tears which you had been trying to save for the drive poured out of you, your mum shushing you as you buried your face into her shoulder. She stood there and held you tight, letting you release all the emotions you had pent up since you got here. You had never had an explicit conversation with her about your true feelings for Harry but with the way she was holding you, you knew you never had to. She knew. The thought made you tighten your arms around her, burying your head a little deeper as the tears flowed. Just a few more minutes.
“I’m getting your dress soaked,” you said, trying to pull your head away and pull yourself together before your mum tightened her arms around you, holding you in place.
“Could give two shits about my dress.” “Mum!” “I’m serious, I don’t care. Not when my baby is weeping in my arms.”
“Okay, I’m hardly weeping,” you huffed a laugh as you took a step back and wiped your face, looking into your mum’s kind eyes, glassy in their own right.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to him? Tell him what’s on your mind?”
You shook your head before she even finished her sentence. You had tried that, years ago. Winter break 2013. He had been gone almost two years, touring and traveling the world while you watched from afar at uni. You had walked down your stairs, rehearsing your big speech in your head while smoothing down the new skirt you bought for the occasion, only to look up and find him in your living room with the most famous pop star in the world in his arms. He had brought her home to “meet the family” he said. Which included you. You were just family. And he dated pop stars now. A gut punch that you quickly healed with copious amounts of tequila. And a drunken hookup with a boy from sixth form. It was fine. You were fine.
You had been best friends since you were 8, neighbors since you were 6, and for years you brushed off your crush, chocking it up to an extension of affection for your first male friend - the boy who made you laugh until you cried, who always needed help with math homework, who dragged you onto the dance floor when everyone else was too nervous to at that first school dance. The boy who stood in front of you in his bedroom, nervously singing along to a Youtube track before asking you if this was something you thought he could do, for real. The boy who invited you to join him a few weeks each summer, riding bikes through muggy Colorado streets for late night froyo or hiking those Hollywood hills. The boy growing into a man who called you when you were studying at the library, in the middle of the night halfway across the world, feeling overwhelmed by the pressure and needing a piece of home to slow his exhausted, racing mind.
This crush was something you thought you would grow out of. Except you didn’t. His life had become drastically different than the one you two had shared in your small hometown but whenever you were together, it was like no time had passed. After that fateful winter break, you had tried to keep your distance but each time you saw him, you were sucked right back in.
There had been more moments - falling over yourselves during a drunken McDonalds run, or during a screaming match in the middle of a very competitive round of charades, or when he bounded off stage after that first solo night at MSG, wrapping you in his arms and holding tightly - moments where the words were about to burst from your chest, overwhelmed by the love you felt for him. But you knew it would never work - he wasn’t interested. And, even if he was, you were nowhere near his league. Even his one night stands were straight off the Forbes 500 list. Not that you were ashamed of yourself or who you had become, you just knew, for many reasons, that there was a disconnect there. He wasn’t interested. You were family. You had to keep it that way.
You steeled yourself to get over it, to be okay with just being his friend. And you had convinced yourself it worked. You had met his girlfriends over the years; no longer tearing yourself apart in comparison as you blossomed into that confidence that comes with getting older and finding your place in the world. Falling into relationships with some really great guys, guys that you really cared for, who made you laugh and met your family on your birthdays. But no matter how hard you tried, those relationships always seemed to fizzle out because you never felt that spark. That once in a lifetime spark. That spark you felt the second you saw him yesterday - a smile blooming across his face as his arms lifted up in a cheer when he locked eyes with you. All that hard work shot to shit in an instant.
You snapped back to reality, shaking your head more fiercely, desperately trying to get those memories to fall out of your head forever. “That’s not how he sees me, Mum. It’s not - this is just something I have to get over. But I can’t do it here.”
Her face fell, before she took a deep breath and steeled herself. “Okay,” she said, looking at you with new determination. “So, what’s the story? Work emergency? Appendicitis? Stomach virus? Uncontrollable pooping?”
“Mum! Oh my god!”
“What?!” she shrugged, her eyes glowing with a playful twinkle as she watched the smile grow on your face. “I just feel like the more details we provide, the more believable it will be.”
“Whatever you have to do,” you said, rolling your eyes as you pulled her into another hug.
“It’ll be okay, lovebug,” she whispered in your ear. “This pain won’t last forever. He’s not the be all, end all.”
“Why does it feel like it then?” you said softly, tightening your arms around her, unable to stop yourself when more tears began to fall. “I really have to get going, I don’t want anyone to see -”
Suddenly, the sounds of the party got progressively louder as the doors swung open. Your stomach sank as you heard the last voice you wanted to hear. “There you are! Been looking all over for you two. Ang? - Oh. ”
“Yeah?” Your mom turned to face him, blocking you from view as you furiously wiped away your tears.
“Mum’s been looking all over for you. Something about a bet involving tequila shots…”
“Ah, was hoping she’d forget about that. Tell her I’ll be in in a bit, just need to help this one -”
You cleared your throat, keeping your head down as you nudged her forward. “No, Mum, it's fine. Go in. I’ll be okay.”
She turned to look at you, eyes searching. “But you’re not feeling. well.” She emphasized her point by placing her hand on your forehead. Oh, god. No Oscar in her future then.
You looked at her, feeling his eyes on you, shaking your head. “It’s okay. Really. Have fun”.
“Love you.” She kissed you on the cheek as she squeezed your hand, whispering, “Be brave”.
You kept your eyes to the ground as you heard her walk inside, closing the doors behind her. Enveloping the two of you in silence. You looked up, taking him in for the first time all night. He knocked the wind out of you.
His white suit was tailored to perfection, the dress shirt open in a deep v down his chest, revealing the smattering of tattoos that you swore he’d regret one day, but that only looked perfectly in place as his muscles grew more defined. His hair, curls tousled just the way you liked it. The smattering of scruff along his chiseled jawline, held tightly as he took in the scene in front of him. He looked good.
You can’t imagine what you looked like. Tear tracks streaking down your face and hair messy from how often you had been nervously running your hands through it. Dressed for a cocktail hour while wearing your sneakers for the quick getaway. You had to get the fuck out of here.
“Thought only the bride was supposed to wear white.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you had the chance to stop them. This was not the time for banter. You should be in the car already, leaving all this behind you. You snuck a look at his face, his green eyes locking with yours, his brow furrowed in confusion.
He looked right at you, his deep voice rumbling as he shot back, “Wanted to be dramatic. It’s my day too.”
“Classic H.” you said. You could not get your feet to move. Your car was no more than 10 paces away and yet here you were, frozen under his questioning gaze.
“What’s all this, then?” he asked, as he took in your suitcase, the car keys fiddling around in your hand. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah. Uh, a work emergency came up.”
“Bullshit.”
“No it’s not -”
“Your mum just said you weren’t feeling well.”
Shit. “Both things are true. H, please just - I have to go.”
“No, I think I have the right to know why my best mate is leaving my wedding weekend early. Why you’re standing out here with your mum and - are you - were you crying?” He looks desperately confused, eyes searching your face. “Need you to talk to me.”
He takes a few steps towards you when he notices your hands visibly starting to shake. “Hey, hey…” He reaches his hands towards yours as you quickly put your hands on your suitcase, pulling it towards you. You take a few steps back and try to take a few steadying breaths.
“Please,” your voice was barely a whisper. “You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“I always notice when you're gone. Haven’t been able to find you all night, I’ve been trying to hang out with you. Wanted to spend time with you.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the look on his face, trying to not think too hard about those words. Trying to be casual, nonchalant. Trying to be anything but the crumbling mess you were in front of him. “C’mon, I’m not even in the wedding party it’ll be better -”
“Is that what this is about? You knew we were keeping it small on purpose, didn’t think you needed to be in the bridal party to know how much y’mean to me but I guess–”
Anger suddenly swirled in you, turning your cheeks warm, eyes blazing. As if you’d be out here having a full mental breakdown over something so trivial. You scoffed, “You think I’m out here crying because of some arbitrary fucking title? You know that’s never mattered to me when it comes to you.”
“Then WHAT is going on with you?”
“Can you please just drop it and let me –”
“It’s my fucking wedding, you’ve been avoiding me ever since you got here. I need you here and you’re just standing outside with your car keys and your fucking suitcase like it’s nothing. Like I’m nothing–
“Oh my god, how can you even say that – ”
“Well, what am I supposed to think? I’m flying blind here you won’t TALK to me–”
“I CAN’T WATCH YOU MARRY HER!”
The words were loud, louder than you meant them and out faster than you could stop them. Fuck. This was. Not. How This. Was supposed to go. You shut your eyes. Your mind was racing, mouth trying to move to make an excuse but you couldn’t think of anything and then you hear a derisive snort, your eyes flying open to see his, suddenly colder, taunting.
“‘S that what this is about, then? Never did like her, did you? Always wondered when we’d have this conversation. Thought you may have been a little more fair and try to do it before my wedding weekend but hey, guess I’m not the only one who can be dramatic.”
You stood there, gaping at him, tears pricking your eyes as he glared back at you.
“Let’s hear it, then. What’s so wrong with her?”
Oh, he misunderstood. You could let him think this is the truth, that you’re just some bitchy childhood friend who never approved of the fiancée and waited until the last moment to make a dramatic exit. You could leave right now and let him think that. But he needed to know the truth, as painful as it may be. You began to shake your head, the tears seconds from pouring out.
“No, that’s not - you’re not understanding me.”
“Am I not? Seems pretty clear to me” His tone was still taunting, angry. He had every right to be. This was supposed to be the biggest weekend of his life and here he was, out here with you, instead of partying with all of his loved ones mere feet away. The thought of it made the tears spill over, a small sob escaping you. Through the tears you saw his face drop, his brows furrowing.
“It’s not her. She’s lovely. She’s so lovely and you should be in there with her. You could be marrying fucking Beyonce and I wouldn’t be okay with it. I … I can’t watch you marry someone else without - without wishing it was me instead.”
You watched as he froze, his eyes widening. In shock? Anger? Pity? You weren’t quite sure.
You took a deep breath and kept going, continuing to dig yourself into the grave of your own making. Every part of you was screaming at you to stop, but now that you got started, the words kept coming, “I’ve been in love with you since we were like 15. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I…god, I can’t breathe when I look at you sometimes. You’re the first person I want to make laugh with a new lame joke, the first person I want to share good news with. The first person I want to do anything with. You’re kinda it for me. Always have been. You’re just my favorite person in the world. And I –”
You shook your head, cutting yourself off. Your heart was about to beat out of your chest, your cheeks burning. You stand there, slightly panting, watching him watch you, his own eyes glassy, his own breath coming in fast spurts. Neither of you dared to move.
You stand there, watching as your confession explodes between the two of you, helpless to do anything but stand in the carnage. It is deadly silent. A minute passes, then another. It could be five, it could be twenty. What did you just do?
“Fuck, fuck, I’m sorry.”, you said frantically, your brain finally catching up to your mouth. “You should go back inside. I’m –”
He inhales sharply, head shaking in disbelief, “Y’think - y’think I’m going to go back in there right now? After–? Fuck.”
He drags his hand down his face, bringing his other hand to meet it and standing there with his head in his hands. You wish you could get a good read on him, to tell how he’s feeling, but you just stand there, heart beating wildly, in disbelief of what you have done.
“I’ve got a reception hall full of people here.”
“I know.”
“People traveled for this.”
“I know.”
“Why - why now? I had no fucking idea. Why’d you never tell me before?”
“I tried, but the timing was never right – ”
“Yeah, well, your timing right now is impeccable,” he deadpanned.
You rolled your eyes, though his sense of humor reappearing made a zing of hope run through you. Maybe he won't hate you forever. Maybe, one day, the friendship could be salvaged. Maybe you didn’t just embarrass yourself beyond belief - though your burning cheeks indicate otherwise.
He clears his throat, pulling you out of your racing mind. “This whole time…you’ve felt this way? This whole time?”
You had been expecting to confess and run. For him to smile politely at you, let you down easy. You had spent your whole life believing this was a one sided thing. But here he was, looking utterly wrecked, his green eyes never once wavering from yours.
“Yes, H,” you told him. “I’ve loved you this whole time.”
You watch as his face crumbles slightly. He brings a hand up to his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, a mumbled, shaky “fuck” leaving his lips.
You clear your throat and wipe at your eyes, praying your waterproof mascara is doing its job. As much as you want to live in this fantasy of possibilities, you can’t let yourself make more of a mess of this than you already have. He was getting married. Tomorrow.
“H, the last thing I ever wanted to do is ruin this for you”, your voice shakes the more you look at him, “I will be fine. You should go back inside. I’m going to go.” You grab your suitcase and keys and start to make your way to the car. The sound of his voice calling your name stops you in your tracks.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice cracking.
You turn to face him, finding him staring right back at you. His glassy eyes ablaze, his jaw set. You don’t make a sound.
“Please.” He closes the distance between you in a few quick strides. Hesitantly, he lifts his hand to your jaw. You’re sure he can feel the warmth there, blooming at his touch. You lock eyes with him, both of you barely breathing. After a second, his thumb caresses your cheekbone, his eyes fluttering closed. He leans his forehead against yours and you can feel his hot breath on your lips, the smell of mint and tequila filling your nose. You might pass out.
“This is a lot to process,'' he whispers.
“I know.” You try to pull your head back a bit to give him space, but he holds you steady in his grip. His other hand falls to your waist, both of you inhaling sharply at the contact.
“I have to go back in there. Supposed to get married tomorrow,” he whispers as his thumb starts to draw circles on your hip bone. You’re sure even he can hear your heartbeat at this point, the way it’s thundering in your ears.
“Y-you don’t owe me anything, you know”, you whisper back, his brow furrowing as he feels your breath on his lips. “Just because I told you. There’s no pressure or anything. I know, like… I’m not….I’m not expecting - I should -”
He takes a step closer to you, pulling you flush against him, effectively cutting you off. “Don’t. You can’t. ‘S not pressure, I just - I don’t know”, he takes a deep breath, “I need time. Please. Don’t leave. You don’t have to go back in there but don’t leave tonight. Please.”
He kisses you on the cheek.
“Please.” His words fall across your lips as he moves to kiss your other cheek.
“Fuck. I wish…just - please don’t go.” He leans in slowly, kissing you once on the neck, right below your ear, inhaling deeply. His forehead falls to your collarbone, resting there. “You can’t go, not yet. Not until…Please. I need time to think. I don’t know. Promise me you’ll still be here later tonight.”
He lifts his head, holding eye contact with you until you nod, bringing your hand up to wrap around his wrist, moving your thumb in soothing circles. He stares at you, eyes dropping to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes. His grip on your hip tightens, his eyes dropping to your lips once more.
You hear glasses tinkering, calls of his name. Shit. You take a step back, his hand sliding from your jaw to your wrist, holding a loose grip. Your cheeks burning at how caught up in the moment you got, head reeling at what this could all mean.
“I have to -” “I know.”
He leans in, presses his lips to your forehead, not once letting go of your wrist.
He steps back, his glassy eyes flitting all over your face before meeting yours once more and holding your gaze. “You’ll be at the hotel later tonight? You promise?”
“I promise,” you say, squeezing his hand once before letting go.
He nods sharply, walking backwards towards the door, eyes never leaving yours. He stops right before the entrance, quickly wiping at his eyes, shaking his head. You can see him physically brace himself as he pulls the door open, a tight smile on his lips as he gets pulled into the party once more.
The doors close, once again surrounding you with silence. With your own thoughts. The feeling of his lips on your neck playing over and over again in your mind.
Holy. Shit.
#harry styles fan fiction#harryonbroadwayficchallenge#harry styles angst#would u believe this was supposed to be posted 3 hours ago but i got so hung up on one detail that i couldnt iron out#i am a gal who loves run on sentences with commas and for that i will not apologize#fic rec#babys first fic#cant believe we are here#harry styles fic#i have read this so many times i started to hate it thats when ya know its time to post#just losing it in the tags over here#something old
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My connection went off so idk if my ask just sent but. I was wondering your thoughts on post Robin Jason, because idk what his deal is at this point and writers don't seem to either. I don't think he's a heartless killer who should be hated and hunted by the entire family but I don't like this fanon "Jason is 100% right about everything and everyone else is the problem" idea either, when they put him in the family he feels really out of place and random and it's just.. one moment he's trying to kill Tim and the next he's the best guy ever with the softest heart?? I don't know there has to be a middle ground right?? I just can't get into Red Hood as a character due to this
Thank you for being so incredibly smart, reasonable, and intelligent.
You're exactly right. I think this is the same issue that's been affecting the Robin Dick vs Robin Jason mischaracterizations as well as the batgirls' that have been predominant in the fandom post 2020. Tim and Damian's motivations and personality have stayed the same from when they entered to now but Dick, Jason, Cass, and Steph have all grown as characters. Who they started out as, they've changed from then to now which has led to some confusion about their personality and motivations.
For Jason in particular - no, he shouldn't be hunted to the ends of the Earth for the things he did. He was hurting and acted out of pain. However it's irresponsible to refute those actions and blame other characters for them.
Jason was originally meant to be a villain. He was supposed to be like Freeze, a sympathetic villain - a character who despite their evil actions is understandable. All Freeze wants is his wife, Nora, back. He loves her and commits horrible acts that don't justify his actions but it makes sense. You're supposed to feel complicated about characters like him because they point out exactly why morality is grey. What Freeze does is wrong, but he does it for the right reasons. It's ultimately still wrong which is why he gets imprisoned.
That is Jason. Jason's actions were never supposed to okay. In what universe would creators who spent half a century working on and developing characters be okay with another character trying to kill them? What about that is acceptable? But it's not just trying to kill Tim (who only escaped by outsmarting Jason) or trying to kill Damian, the crimes he did are not acceptable.
He bombed Gotham just because despite knowing he didn't need to. He was willing to kill innocent children, men, women, and civilians for Dick and Damian were chasing him, after they helped him.
Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #25
In the Red Robin Comics, he was willing to use children as bait during a gang war.
Robin (1993) Issue #177
Not to mention Mia Dearden.
But at the same time, he killed people who hurt children
Red Hood: Lost Days Issue #3
Initially Jason's morality was a swinging pendulum. He was as likely to kill kids as he was to protect them. He didn't care about the lives of civilians if it meant getting away or completing his plans.
Batman/Superman (2013) Issue #26
Here Superman says he wants to save a kid so Jason argues that to save him, they need to poison the environment and wipe out several countries.
That's why Bruce struggles with Jason so much. Over his lack of care for people's lives. It's not the murdering of criminals that Batman is caught up on which is where I believe the misunderstanding in fanon comes from. It's his fear that by his own hands, Bruce created a deadlier version of the man who killed his parents.
Batman vs Robin Issue #3
So no it's not fair to blame everyone for Jason's mistakes and claim him innocent, but it's also not fair to say Bruce had nothing to do with Jason's mental state. If he had shown a little less hesitance at the reappearance of Jason in Under the Red Hood, if he had shown a little more love then Jason probably wouldn't have gone as crazy as he did after coming back.
Because he saw Jason killing everyone, Bruce fell into his worst possible explanation of Jason, knowing the pain he was going through but succumbing to selfish actions to protect himself.
Jason's tough to deal with for writers because even when the batfamily reaches out, Jason is the one that burns his own bridges. When Dick begged Jason to take his hand during the Battle for the Cowl, when Dick and Damian helped Jason save his friend during Batman and Robin (2009), when Bruce saved Jason and fought alongside him against a couple members of the Secret Society of Supervillains, Jason immediately turned around and killed people and bragged about it.
In Batman Urban Legends, Jason tells Bruce that he has given up guns to which Bruce is grateful but it's also not for him. It's a sign that Jason is turning a new leaf especially given how caring he was with the kid, calling him Blue Hoodie. That was so sweet of him. The current Batman family comics are a sign of things changing between Jason and the family. What has happened up until now is not the family's fault, especially when they've reached out for the sole purpose of extending an olive branch only to have it burned and tied to a person in return. But now things are slowly changing and writers are trying to show that.
Jason's story is story of growth. He didn't come back to save people, he came specifically for the sake of hurting Bruce. But over the years, the repeated attempts of the family (Dick and far less Bruce) of bringing Jason back into the fold has helped him move past his anger. To slowly become adjusted and settle down.
Writers have struggled to know what to do with a character that canonically wants to be included in the family but rebuffs their every attempt to include him. They finally figured out the problem was Bruce - hence his fight against Jason and his exit in Gotham War. I'm assuming now that Jason will become more involved in Batman comics.
As a character currently though, I think of him as a lone ranger. He works independently but he'll show up for family meetings and big events. He'll also join family dinners if he's coerced but for the most part he likes to run on his own or with his team.
#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#batman dick grayson#cl anon asks#thanks for the ask!
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Leeds Au Blurb #1
Summary: First Ross memory. Leeds Fest 2013.
Warnings: Swearing. Mentions of men being gross and harassment.
Author's Note: The first of series of blurbs that will be memories including Ross from the Leeds Au universe that in my head and hopefully yours, will make the reader's ending make sense.
Word Count: 1.1K Words
You can read the main piece here first if you want!
2013
You were currently stood in a muddy field in the middle of Yorkshire grasping on to your over priced drink and gripping on to Ross’ hand for dear life as you attempted to make it through the crowds to see Eminem headline. The other lads opting to get high backstage whilst the two of you made your way out into the crowds of people to see the rap legend.
You were absolutely buzzing to see the rapper; having loved him since you were a kid and you were gutted when you thought you wouldn’t get to see him due to the boys opting to get high instead. But when Ross timidly popped his hand up to get your attention, to let you know that he would be more than happy to go with you. You jumped in elation, pulling the bassist into your arms in appreciation.
Now you were currently making your way through all the crowds of people to get to the main stage, just as you made it to the main crowd of people, Ross’ phone rang. Matty on a weed induced ramble about an idea he’s had, he let go of your hand quickly as he spoke to Matty in a rush, in hopes of getting back to you as soon as possible.
He must have left your side all for of two minutes when the group of lads approached you. You could hear them talking about the denim shorts you had on and how great your ass looked and you just rolled your eyes but then one of them seemingly started talking straight to you, trying to get your attention. You looked over your shoulder at them and smiled politely before turning back towards the main stage in hopes they would just go away.
But then the group of them were surrounding you. All clearly drunk or high on something and usually you would just tell them to fuck off and roll your eyes at them but after asking them to fuck off and leave you alone a handful of times, an unsettling feeling set in your stomach when they wouldn’t take no for an answer. You looked around frantically to try clap eyes on Ross but you couldn’t find him in the masses of people.
“Why don’t you come back with us? We’ll show you a good time baby.”
“No thanks. Fuck off!” You scowled; but the blonde fella wasn’t having any of it.
“Come on sweetheart.” The blonde gripped on to your wrist tightly as you fought to lose his grip as he attempted to tug you away into the crowd.
The panic started seeping in as you continued to try pull him off you when Ross’ familiar smell invaded your senses, his hand gently resting against the small of your back as his frame towered not only your height but of those of your harassers. “Sorry darling. You know what Matty’s like when he’s gets going.” He spoke softly; his hand slipping around your waist and pulling you in close, his eyes set in stone as he eyed the hand grasped around your wrist. “I believe she told you to fuck off mate. Now remove your hands from my girl before I remove them for you!”
“Shit! You’re in that band that sings about chocolate! Saw your set earlier. You were wicked! Sorry man, I didn’t realise she was your girl. Sorry! Sorry!” He scampered away, his friends running after him with their tails between their legs too.
“I leave you for all of two minutes and you’re already getting yourself into trouble!” He joked; pulling you closer as you snuggled into his chest.
“Thank you.” You mumbled against his chest.
“What for love?” Ross pulled back so he could look at you properly, to find you already looking at him and he swears his heart skipped a beat.
“For saving me from those arseholes.”
“Darling, I’ll always save you.”
You blinked up at him as his words reached your ears; his features soft and endearing as he smiled down at you and it made your heart speed up because nobody had ever really explicitly told you they would bat for you like this before. You couldn’t help it, you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek. A soft “Thank you” whispered between the pair of you before you dragged him further into the crowd.
The rapper was everything you could have ever wanted and more! The pair of you bursting into giggles as you both tried to reel off the lyrics to The Real Slim Shady and failing miserably because no one was ever as good as the legend himself. When the moment came and you heard those first few notes on the piano, the screams of excitement became deafening once the audience became aware of what was about to happen.
Turning to look at one another dramatically. You and Ross squared up to one another; quoting the opening monologue to one of the best rap songs of the century. You could feel the adrenaline rushing through you knowing that you were about to witness something so iconic that you couldn’t help bouncing up and down with giddiness.
“His palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy.There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti! He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready…”
The grin on your both your faces creeping up on you both as you recited the iconic lyrics to one another.
“To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting, What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud. He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out.He's chokin', how? Everybody's jokin' now.The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow…”
“Snap back to reality, ope, there goes gravity. Ope, there goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad.But he won't give up that easy, no, he won't have it. He knows his whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter…” You were both screaming now. Gripping onto one another as you geared up for the infamous chorus that was sure to set the thousands strong audience into a pure frenzy.
You had never felt anything like being in that crowd before. Screaming at the top of your lungs with your best friend, watching an artist you’ve loved for years. Wrapping his arm around you shoulder, you easily fell back into Ross’ chest as you watched him finish the set contently in the arms of your best friend. When he finally does, the crowd goes insane and you couldn’t help but turn round and slip your arms round Ross’ waist as you revelled in the glow of serotonin this experience had given you.
Ross’ handsome face was already enamoured by the bright smile on your face and he couldn’t help himself, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear with a smile that could break hearts. Seemingly neither could you because you sneaked a hand up his chest to cup his bearded cheek and captured him in a sweet kiss.
The bassist kissed you back for a fleeting moment before pulling away.
“Come on, let’s go find the others.” You chuckled, smiling brightly at him. The words soft between the two of you as you held on to his hand tightly and heading in the direction you thought your friends could be.
#the 1975 imagine#the 1975 fic#the 1975 x reader#the 1975#matty healy imagine#matty healy#ross macdonald imagine#ross macdonald fic#ross macdonald x reader#ross macdonald#george daniel imagine#george daniel#adam hann imagine#adam hann#the 1975 blurb#ross macdonald blurb
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Below is my "I strongly dislike Davekat and wish it wasn't canon and don't have ill will towards fans of it, but I do think they are being ignorant on purpose because Dave's character fucking sucks cock after Act 5" rant. Apologies but I needed to share this because it's almost 4/13 and I'm feeling festive.
You know why most of the fandom left homestuck around 2013-2014? cause of long pauses between updates and then we got stupid content that wasn't going anywhere. I left the fanbase DURING [S] game over. I fucking checked out because that was the stupidest fucking flash it could have possibly been and at that point I was waiting for a moment to just give up on the story and come back to it when it was finished.
I'd say most of the homestuck fandom seems silent about what they think about the story. Every fanbase is like that, most people watch from the sidelines and I do that too. I usually say nothing about the media I consume. Sometimes, rarely, I'll go through homestuck's reddit around this time of year and I'll see common sense. (There is hope!) But a good chunk of the people who stayed with the homestuck fandom through all of Act 6, or younger fans who are just joining it now, are able to just take whatever is given to them and not think anything through. I'm not saying anyone in the fanbase is stupid, no, I'm saying that they don't care enough about the story to admit what is good writing and what is shit writing. They don't care about writing. They don't care about the characters. They care about fannon. They care maybe, MAYBE, about activism.
A good chunk of the fanbase seem to be Davekat stans. Why are there are so many Davekat fans? It's because they can just eat the sludge. Maybe they grew up off of it so they can tolerate it. (I think Act 6 does a number on a motherfucker and makes you lower your standards so low that any content will do.)
Some people think any canon gay rep is good gay rep, but who would want to be represented by this? In Homestuck 2, Karkat is demoted to "Dave's boyfriend" and Dave was a selfish jerk through nearly all of Act 6. Dave was such a good character in Act 5, and Act 6 just had him ignore rose's alcoholism and ignore terezi's struggles. He didn't care about anything. Karkat at least somewhat tried to help Terezi or cheer her up. I can't understand for the life of me how someone like Karkat would end up with someone as selfish as Dave was. (Dave was selfish in the pre-retcon bit but still! why show us that? the epilogue was no different Dave abandoned jade instead of talked to her and let him know he wasn't interested in her because he's gay. I hardly recall what was going on at that part of the story, I just remember being dumbfounded that the story reinforced Dave only cares about himself.)
I wish Dave was written differently. I wish he had SOME, an ounce at least, of chemistry with Karkat. Instead what we got was Dave childishly drawing dicks on Karkat's face in some Hussie art and that pretty much sums up their whole relationship. A massive L for Karkat. I'm fine with Karkat being with meenah, nepeta, jade, davepetasprite for christ's sake! Just not the person that Dave ended up being. Why does fixing Dave fall on Karkat? Dave isn't the only shit character. I can't believe that John just gave up fully and completely. I find it hard to believe that Rose, at the end of the story, wouldn't advise John to train with her so he could learn how to use his new powers to go fight the empress. Why doesn't John do more with his powers? Why isn't John a better dad in the new content? I would imagine he would have tried to be like his own dad. Why did the story write Jake the entire way through like he was so worthless he wasn't worth our time and then dedicate so much of the story to him? I could go on and on about this, and I did go off so I will stop here.
This fandom and this story is going to continue circling the drain. The only thing that could possibly save it is a full overhaul and rewrite from people with skill who actually LIKE the characters. If anyone cared about the story THEY WOULD PRESS FOR THAT!!! If anything Hussie wanted to actively destroy any good will the fans had towards it. Maybe he fucking hates the story, I never looked to far into any of the backstory of how homestuck was made but I assume he fucking hated it from how he wrote Act 6. It's so sad to see because most of the characters had something really special about their stories. It's a story that is all about potential. It was crushed under the weight of it's own stupidity.
Wait. I'm not done! What the fuck was that part where Dave left a note for Jade that said "I missed you" and a little red band? I didn't ship them but it certainly felt like Dave was into her or at worst leading her on. Am I supposed to believe that Dave was just fucking with her? Was he trying to be there for her? I guess he was fucking with her or trying to be into girls cause he ended up with Jade only to leave her in the epilogue. Why did he turn out to be such a prick!? Why didn't he talk to her? What point is the story trying to make? Abandon everything when you find out who you really are like your old friends don't matter anymore? Dave was maturing in act 5. Why the fuck is the story like this!!!?!?! YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS IS THE SAME MOTHER FUCKER WHO GAVE IT HIS ALL TO HELP? WHO SAVED ROSE'S LIFE AND THEN WENT TO DIE ALONG SIDE HER IN CASCADE? I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY REASON HE TRIED TO HELP BRING JADE BACK FROM THE DEAD IN GAME OVER WAS BECAUSE JADE WAS A SPACE PLAYER AND THEY NEEDED ONE TO TALK TO HER DENIZEN SO SHE'D BIRTH THE DAMN FROG THING OR WHATEVER!? DOES DAVE JUST SELECTIVELY DECIDE WHEN HE'S HAD ENOUGH BEING A COCKSUCKER? IS HIM BEING ABUSED BY BRO A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE TO IGNORE HOW LITTLE HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING?!
WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT DAVE IS EVEN GOOD AFTER ACT 6?! WHAT GAME WERE THE REFS WATCHING!?!?!?!
Long story short, Karkat deserves at least somewhat better.
Thank you.
Very well said! Everything about this is perfect!
People excuse Dave's actions is because of the whole Bro Strider being abusive to him as he grew up. So they think it's okay for him to not move on past it or grow better as a person. Instead, he will just wallow himself in self pity and everyone must feel sorry for him. One could say it's projecting too. Ignoring the fact that Jade had to live ALONE when growing up on an island with an animal guardian. It may be normal for trolls since they have a society that relies on this, but it's not the same for Earth or humans.
Not only that, but didn't Dave find out that it was BRO STRIDER who faced against Jack Noir and helped Davesprite ESCAPE? So wouldn't that put into more question about how he feels about his brother and wonder if there was more going on behind the scenes than what he saw? Like why would BRO let Davesprite, who just a Dave from a Doomed Timeline, protect him, knowing how he will be killed? Was his training helpful or did something else make him be this way? It still technically happened by Post Retcon too. So that event and fate is inevitable for Bro Strider.
Closest interaction Dave had with Karkat pre-Act 6 is through the memo with John, but even then, he's just fucking around with Karkat. Taunting him to say that interspecies romance is a thing now between the Beta Kids and Trolls and Dave is ready to bang Terezi if Karkat doesn't step up to his game to admit his feelings for her. Maybe it was kind of shitty to use Terezi's feelings and their relationship to mess with someone else that he knows has feelings for her. But dude jumped the chance to use it against Karkat when he thinks humans dating alien trolls should not be a thing.
We see Dave do showing kindness. From things like hiding all his dead Daves from Jade so she wouldn't get upset and him having a good time with people like Rose and John. It shows that he is capable of being a good person and probably would wish to be a better one. He wants to be BETTER than Bro. Be someone that treats others better. Maybe even towards his own kids if he decides to have one. But sadly, we live in an age where having a family is a bad thing now.
Karkat really deserves better and Dave sucks as he is in these recent HS projects. I don't think James Roach or HICU will make him any better. And Davekat will be hard to make it go away with how the people who work on Homestuck and ones outside of it (like Requiem Cafe) will pander to it because they know it will get the most attention and money. Like carrot on a stick. Even the carrot is rotten, they will still take it.
#homestuck#homestuck fandom#Davekat#Dave x Karkat#DavexKarkat#DaveKarkat#KarDave#KatDave#KarkatDave#Dave Strider#Karkat Vantas#Andrew Hussie#WhatPumpkin#What Pumpkin#James Roach#Homestuck Independent Creative Union#HICU#Requiem Cafe#Homestuck cafe#Homestuck x Requiem Cafe
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Okay I was watching Qatar 2013 for the rosquez of it all and they were so touchy and I thought is there an au were they hooked up during the pre season and that’s why they are so comfortable together already maybe they didn’t even hook up yet but they are touchy (insert vale saying he’s touchy off track so maybe it’s the same on track when him Dani and Jorge were asked about the contact Marc had had with them at different races) and vale is queuing in on Marc’s massive crush and goes after you win a race I’ll sleep with you think if it like a prize. like I’m not sure if that’s a possible au but i just went omg the possibilities if it did happen.
EYE think its like. okay fanfiction land lets goooo wheeee. a branch off of the iconic winners room concept, but this time its whenever someone gets promoted to the premiere class they get to choose someone to FUCK after their first race. like they MUST ! the sport is too horny not to ! court mandated ! and well. you know who marc was gonna pick (literally its been on his motivational vision board since he was umm. 14). and vale's not stupid and is also VERY assured in his sex appeal so he ALSO knows who marc is gonna pick (hes actually been picked by new guys a LOT at this point its old hat. little does he know about the life changing power. of marc's wap.) and its just some fun! here at the beginning of things ! so the entire race (with marc and vale spending a LOTTTTT of time battling it out on track and having cheeky little skirmishes the entire time) its like. the most insane, adrenaline soaked foreplay. exhilarating. truly when you dont know someone that well but you like them SO much and you KNOWWWW youre getting laid later. its vale putting BOTH hands literally on marc's WAIST from BEHIND before the podium its marc's huge smile that seems unpracticed in a way where its clear he STILL cant quite believe hes standing there with valentino its the BIG hug in parc ferme that literally knocks marc's sunglasses off of his head. gifs HERE !
and afterwards its SO happy. giddy! they love a fun on-track battle, they both podiumed (marc's first and vale's first back at yamaha) so they are floating on airrrrr and marc of COURSE chooses vale and when they manage to get some alone time he's SO eager (his first time question mark. knew he would get this from vale with the confidence of a prodigy so he saved it...) but god he learns QUICK. and its a huge thing —looking back, in hindsight— the beginning of it all. the start of them. but at the time, they dont even KNOW how huge it is, what kind of effect theyre going to have on each other's lives. they cant know. and besides, it doesnt matter here, in this moment. because marc is under vale and vale is inside him, and marc's panting wetly and sweetly against vale's neck and vale feels something building in his chest and it feels something like joy. something like inventing something. and they dont even know what kind of thread theyre building between them. they cant know yet, how it all goes wrong, here in this room, in this moment. but whatever it is will be worth it, that he knows. itll be worth this precise second, here and now, with marc's pulse thrumming against his skin
#thinking about first times with the love of your life.#THEY DONT KNOW !#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez
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Exploring the dofus-la-serie.com website - Part 1
The website is kind of broken, which makes me quite sad. Though that's life for you.
Character Profiles:
I am not translating this because as fans of this franchise, you probably know all of these words. (Well, except gouvernante. That can mean "housekeeper". He isn't calling her their governor. Though she should be.)
I am not even going to mention that Kerubim is here twice. Sometimes, a second Kerubim appears in a random spot among the characters while going to this page or refreshing it. Just another one fun thing about this being an eleven-year-old website for a series that has been over for years.
I wonder if, in-universe, he's the one who drew on their portraits, or if it was Joris's doing, influenced by Kerubim's stories?
Love how Atcham isn't mentioned, but his pandawa drinking buddy is. Also, that neither of them have commentary by him.
The character pages themselves have unique character art:
As well as short descriptions of the characters.
Because the entire site is saved on web archive, and probably won't go down anytime soon, (despite its buggy state,) and these not offering any new, groundbreaking information — I will not be posting most of them here, save for the main ones:
Joris:
Kerubim:
Also, a note: this calls him a "papa poule", which I decided to google, to hilarious results:
Thank you, dofus-la-serie.com... for everything. I already noticed, in the past posts, that it's actually weird and off-putting that Joris has no friends, and that it might be Kerubim's fault, but we never really see him make parenting decisions (COUGH-COUGH-COUGH besides the decision to constantly endanger and neglect Joris but EHHH I spent 50+ posts talking about that in the show liveblogs) in the series due to its slice of life format.
I'm glad to know that at least one canonical source describes him as overprotective, bearing, and anxious parent, (but not to a helicopter-parent level). That's actually quite valuable!
Simone:
Pupuce:
Multiple notes here:
The description does not seem to use explicitly masculine pronouns for Pupuce, who, as we know from Joris, is a girl. This is just an error on the Google Translate's part.
PUPUCE IS A CAT KIN/CAT FURRY????????????
You know what, actually considering Joris himself is a cat furry, but in a much more subtle, subdued way, her being his pet is a match made in heaven. Two creatures who wish they could be cats, breaking bread and drinking tea together. Love wins.
The broken "find the object" minigame:
One can only be thankful that it's not more broken — because 2013 was prime time for flash games, and yet, this game does not seem to use flash technologies.
When you click anywhere on the screen itself, instead of the UI, the game, and the page itself freezes. It's a shame — I bet the game was fun, back when it worked.
I had taken it upon myself to download and archive the music from the minigame, so, here it is:
Using archive.org I was able to get to the next page, the link to which is usually invisible and also unclickable in the minigame:
Kerubim's Collection (link included so you don't have to suffer like I did)
It's quite a long list, with many items, but I am not Ronik, this show's biggest, and probably, by now, only fan, if I don't read all of this and bring the most interesting parts to you.
Firstly, thankfully, all of these are, for the most part lore-less. Just little blurbs of the episodes those appear in, whether you can find them in-game, and a hint as to where to find this in the broken minigame. But there are some gems:
Kerubim doesn't like Joris's photography hobby (...I sure do wonder why!)
HE'S A SORE LOSER ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE NOFFOUB EPISODE. LMAO. "Deceitful Osamodas"....
"I'm cautious" "Simone whyyy did you put it here??" How these two people hadn't killed Joris fr is still beyond me.
He's genuinely insane.
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do you or anyone have sponsormusings old fics? i’m dying to read them but i know they’re all deleted so this is my attempt of seeing is someone has them downloaded and could share it with me?
thanks you
Hello Anon!
I do not have any of sponsormusings old fics! If any follower does have them feel free to reply to this post or shoot an ask to let me know!
You can see the works through the WayBackMachine, though some are unable to be read or clicked on but here's what I could recover through the wayback machine:
AO3:
Dashboard as of May 12th, 2017
Trying To Get It Right
A Long Way From Home
Drifting Between Grey and Blue (Ch 1 Only)
Headlines
Contract Clause Series Dashboard
Social Standing Series Dashboard
Social Standing (entire work)
Holly
Twisted Ribbons
Three Words
The Volunteer
Pumping and Blowing
Maybe This Was It
Portrait of a Victor (Ch 1)
The Winter Season
Get The Girl
FF.net:
Dashboard as of May 24th, 2013 and in May 2022
Alive
A Parting Gift
In Your Darkest Hours
The Volunteer
Three Words
To Serve and Protect
Umbrella
Double Knots
Hidden Meanings
7 Seconds
Narrowly Avoided Misadventures
Headlines
The Family Business
The Shimmering Glass Ch 1 Ch 4
Stacked Odds Ch 1 Ch 17
A Hard Answer to Question Ch 1 Ch 14
Drifting Between Grey and Blue Ch 20 Ch 19 Ch 18 Ch 17 Ch 16 Ch 15 Ch 14 Ch 13 Ch 12 Ch 11 Ch 10 Ch 9 Ch 8 Ch 7 Ch 6 Ch 5 Ch 4 Ch 3 Ch 2 Ch 1
The Deepest Blues are Black
Contract Clause Ch 1
Portrait of a Victor Ch 1 Ch 30
Best Behaviour
Hide and Seek
This Friday Night
Stuck in a Moment
First Time for Everything
One Last Chance
The Winter Season
Made of Stars
1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks Ch 1 Ch 2
Get The Girl
Easy K
Another Time, Another Place
Hope this helps! I didn't list all the ones available via FF.net so if you click on the 2022 link you should be able to use the hyperlinks through there to see if a screenshot was saved!
As a note: this blog does not link to reposted fics that are not reposted via the author (or given consent by the author), if a work was deleted off a platform, the only way we will link to it is through the wayback machine or via another platform that the author allowed or maintained.
Happy reading!
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zombie sugarbaby roll call!
I wonder who's still on tumblr from the old sugar bowl?
Much like the rest of the world, the glory days of 2010-2015 are long gone, and oh do I miss them.
Everything was great: tumblr and Instagram were fire for the sugar bowl, and the bowl itself was insane due to the economy thriving. Truly, these were the glory days.
When I logged back in earlier, I saw a blog post from 2013 from Southern Sugar — we were the same age that year. It's over 10 years later. I wonder where she is now? Is she married and a trophy wife? Still yacht hopping like me?
And when I looked at my page, my last post were my New Year's Resolutions for 2018! How quick 6 years went by...
That's the beauty of the internet: it's a closed system, perfectly preserving it's contents for all of time... until the original poster decides to give up on sugaring all together and deletes the Encyclopedia Thottanica (*pouts at sugarbabytemptress*)
Here's the update:
2018 went as planned, as did 2019. Not as planned but very profitable were 2020 and 2021. I made bank, saved tons of money, collected tons of Cartier, 3 Rolex watches and even got a brand new luxury car bought in my name.
I was living the high life...
I got lingerie and jewelry aplenty! Vacations and spa days galore! You want Louboutins?? I've got 20! No big deal, well who cares, I waaant moooore 🎶
What's funny is that eventually the high wears off and becomes a monotonous routine. That was 2022 and 2023 with my SDBF. So boring, can't believed that I've been locked down and in this relationship for 5 years. No wonder I'm bored and feeling restless. And you know what they say... no ring on the finger, must not linger 💍
So I'm slipping back in the bowl!
Let's see how it goes...
xoxo
Go$$ip Girl
#sugarbaby#sugar bowl#sugar#sugardaddy#luxury#hypergamy#spoiled gf#marry rich#back in black#no money no honey#dating up#double life
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QTNA: 10 Questions I Would Like Kerry Washington’s Memoir, Thicker Than Water to Answer
Kerry Washington’s memoir, Thicker Than Water, will be available to the masses on the 26th of September, and I have questions that need answers. Well, I would like to have answers. I pre-ordered it in June when it was announced, and I’ll be receiving a second copy when I see her in Manchester in October (Kerry, you better not cancel this leg of the tour. I worry because we’re the only stop that still doesn’t have a confirmed special guest). Before a million reviewers start leaking and the full-court press is unleashed this week, I thought it would be fun to post some of my own questions about Ms. Washington that I hope are answered in Thicker. To be clear, I read the same excerpt on Oprah.com as the rest of y’all. And I won’t be reading any advanced reviews until mine own eyes have completed all 320 pages of Kerry’s words. I am really looking forward to reading it, and hope to recommend it to my Black women-only reading group.
As an actress, I have liked Kerry Washington since I watched Save the Last Dance in the early 2000s. And in each subsequent film I’ve watched that featured her, I’ve felt like Tony Goldwyn (but not as intense): Oh hey, it’s that really great actress and she’s always giving something different. But I never explicitly sought after articles or interviews, preferring to casually enjoy her work instead.
That changed with Scandal. My dedication to the show hedged on its compelling narrative themes. But it was the compelling relationship between Kerry’s Olivia Pope and Tony Goldwyn’s Fitzgerald Grant that created magic. It cast a spell that elicited from me reams of writing about Scandal between 2012-2018. In fact, the series changed the whole trajectory of Kerry Washington’s career (and my life, too ). It also brought significantly more eyes upon her. The first vehicle built around Kerry, Scandal gave her acting space to breathe, develop and shine. I also continued to watch the smattering of films she made during that era (Django Unchained, Peeples, Confirmation), and began reading interviews with her--both before and during Scandal. I began to notice the way in which the availability of information shifted, receded (or removed), and sometimes became opaque under a claim of ‘privacy’ whilst also offering the veneer of accessibility from late 2013 onward. Granted, I do not run any obsequious fan accounts about Kerry, so I know there will be some who try to rattle off any number of things I “should know” because they have inhaled every morsel of information and made its consumption and regurgitation their entire online personality. But I am also not a hater who consumes the actor's every move for the purpose of group chat gossip. I like knowing things about people I admire because I like to find points of connection, perspective, recognition…and differences. I admire Kerry Washington…or what she’s allowed me to see. The problem is, when I think about her, I think about a person who seems good and cares fiercely for her country, family, and other people. She’s well-regarded. She’s funny. She’s stylish. She has a great capacity for information. But.
She also seems secretive, and that’s different from being private. I feel like I know of her, about her. But who is she, really? That lack of clarity is partly by design, of course, due to her profession. Still, I hope Thicker Than Water answers the soul of that question: Who is Kerry Washington?
It is with that central question in mind that I pose the following questions. These are MY questions. I am not here to represent anyone’s fandom. I know, too, that I don’t have a ‘right’ to have any of these questions answered. I’m not delulu (as the kids say). I’m being as honest as I can with my own curiosities about Kerry, as both an actress and a human.
These are my questions. I am not here to represent a fandom. Let’s get into the QTNA of it all.
Q1: What childhood scars still itch even into adulthood?
In a recent interview, Kerry mentioned that her therapist has read her book. Samesies! When I finished the pre-copyedited draft of my first book, I started connecting some childhood dots to a few of my ongoing challenges. I asked my therapist to read it so that we could be on the same page in our sessions. It is for this reason that I wonder if Kerry’s reading back of her own writing was revelatory to her in ways she was not able to consciously unlock before. Are there things still there under the surface, the ghosts of which still tingle and itch sometimes no matter how much therapy she has had? Falling back into patterns is easy; undoing them takes so much self-awareness and intentionality.
Secondly, I ask the question based on the excerpt from Thicker that was chosen to appear on Oprah.com. Beautifully conveyed with a stark honesty I had never seen from Kerry, the selection chosen is one that gives us a sliver into the dysfunctions of the Washington’s marriage. Ones that were quite literally disruptive to 7-year-old Kerry. Aristotle famously said, “Give me the child until [s]he is 7 and I will show you the [wo]man.” The theory of the first 7 years of a child’s life has been debated in Psychology. However, anecdotally, I can tell you that both my wife and I carry deeply impactful memories of our selves at age 7, the threads of which still linger. So, why is that memory offered as the amuse bouche to the drawing back of the curtains of Kerry Washington’s life which Thicker Than Water promises (or ‘her truth’ as Kerry calls it)? Does the excerpt set a foundation for the grown up Kerry we now see? For me, the excerpt made me wonder if young Kerry’s (confessed) determination to be the living embodiment of the pleasing, “good” thing that bonded her parents together was the start of a perfectionism that would be hard to shake. Control issues that would find her guarding a carefully curated image that avoids like the plague the possibility of being seen as ‘problematic’ for a stance, an opinion, a view? Or it could be that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. That is entirely possible.
Q2: Did you experience any body dysmorphia issues during your first pregnancy? Was your second pregnancy different?
This is a difficult and very personal question. I know. It is based on two things: 1) the unusual language Kerry used to refer to her changing body during that time; and 2) the fact that she mentioned, prior to Scandal, she struggled with an eating disorder.
During Kerry’s first pregnancy (2013-2014), I don’t recall her using the word ‘pregnant’. She would say things like how the ‘condition’, ‘orientation’, or ‘physicality’ of her body changed when discussing how she approached acting during that time. I don’t recall her talking about it in personable ways. It felt like if she didn’t have to acknowledge what our eyes could plainly see, she would not have. Kerry appeared much more comfortable with her second pregnancy (2017). Listen, I have never been pregnant. In fact, I am terrified of it, which is why I wonder what it must be like for someone who has struggled with an eating disorder (which can cause body dysmorphia issues). How did Kerry come to embrace such a purposeful but very disrupting change to her body? I have been around a fair number of pregnant women, so I know it’s not all ‘miracle of life’ stuff. The typical pregnancy narratives out there from celebrities don’t typically discuss this unless we can relate it back to inequalities in maternal health care. Even if they do, I’m asking for Kerry Washington’s perspective. I could be entirely wrong, but I’d still like to know was the changing of her body hard for her. I’d love to know how she felt after her first child was born, and what motherhood feels like for her.
A related thing about which I am curious: Did she have any fertility issues and struggle with getting pregnant? And why did she wait until after it was beyond obvious during her Saturday Night Live appearance in early November 2013 to officially confirm she was pregnant? What fear was the fear behind this late decision?
Q3: What makes you sad, insecure, or sometimes need to retreat into yourself?
Kerry seems like a high-energy, joyful, positive person. She’s commented that as an Aquarius, she loves all sorts of people. I can see that. As an introverted Cancerian, I appreciate high-energy people…in doses. Every talk show appearance, red carpet interview, and social media content are all carefully presenting a woman who is very together. I say this because sometimes Kerry speaks in therapy language even when she’s trying to be sincere about overcoming battles. Of course, the image one projects (me, too) is always only partially true—whatever the industry. Kerry is a person and most of us do not have it all together, no matter how much we present it as such, or how much we sweep aside the less salubrious, more complicated parts of ourselves. It’s that stuff that I’m interested in. Where are her edges? Negativity may be ‘noise’ (as Kerry’s Twitter banner displays), but it also gives positivity its meaning. I also recall a saying that happy people are usually the most fucked up ones. Now, I’m not accusing Ms. `Washington of being uniquely fucked up, because we all are in some ways. The always ‘on’ facade is typically a way of hiding (just one of the tools) the things we don’t think we can show. Is she a trainwreck in the mornings and a bitch in the afternoon? Please, I just want to know something real…about Kerry, not just about her parents and her career.
Q4: In what ways, are you like your character Olivia Pope?
On an episode of Unpacking the Toolbox podcast, Kerry’s co-stars/friends, Guillermo Diaz, and Katie Lowes, said that out of everyone in the cast, Kerry is the most like her character (Olivia Pope). Would Kerry say this is accurate or fair? If so, what characteristics does she have in common with Olivia? Please spare me surface-level, obfuscating comparisons such as ‘We look alike :)’ or ‘We’re both passionate about democracy!’ Somehow, I don’t think that’s what Katie and Guillermo meant. I don’t presume anything untoward. I also understand why actors in long-running shows are usually at pains to separate the actor from the character, especially when that character’s messy humanity is on display for everyone to judge. But, again, give me something of substance here.
Q5: In what ways do you draw on your Jamaican heritage? How are you imparting that to your children along with their Nigerian Igbo heritage? And who are your father’s people?
Kerry has been very vocal about her mother’s Jamaican heritage. She has been vocal about immigration, sharing that her maternal grandparents came to America via Ellis Island. In the summer of 2023, she was in Jamaica to film a special about dance forms from around the world. As a Jamaican myself, I would like something more concrete about her Jamaican background. She often mentions her Jamaican heritage, but in what ways is it important to her? How does she call on that heritage as part of her identity? How is she (or not) imparting that sense of culture to her children alongside their Igbo heritage? Lastly, I’m less certain of her father’s origins (presumably in the American South). I’d like to know more about that.
Q6: Why was Hollywood the calling? Did you feel like changing course? If so, when and what put you back on the path towards who you’ve become?
This question is about Kerry’s early experiences in Hollywood. In an old interview (hopefully, I didn’t hallucinate this), she mentioned being told early on to lose 30 pounds and fix her teeth, at which she scoffed. Despite the contemporary irony juxtaposed against the past demand, where did she get the strength of determination and belief in herself to push past what those assholes could not see? As plucky as she seems, everyone has low moments when they are pushing for a dream. What’s one of hers from those early years?
In another interview (or the same?) Kerry mentioned giving herself a year to become a working actor in Hollywood. This is after her post-University travels to India to study Yoga. I want to know more about the jump from Yoga to Hollywood. What was that internal calling, or was it a casual, young adventurous thing she thought she would try? Did the move to Hollywood occur during a highly ambivalent part of her life? If so, how did that feel as a Black woman, since those women are often under pressure to take up a more guaranteed profession than the arts?
Q7: What did you find most challenging about working on Scandal—both as an actress and as a person? What nonsense did you and your castmates get up to behind the scenes?
Kerry has been very grateful for landing a show like Scandal and for the fine company of actors with whom she got to work. Great, but can she tell us the non-PR stuff? I’m not talking about back-biting—I don’t care. I’m always interested in the process for actors and all the changes they go through when working on a long-term project. American TV shows have 16-24 episode commitments every year. That has got to dominate a person’s life! What are some specific ways it impacted Kerry’s life? Actors have talked about how unrelenting the TV schedule is, including Shonda’s reflections in her 2015 book about the incessant demand to ‘lay track’ (write) so that the train that is the TV show doesn’t run off course. I already know that Kerry has borrowed from Ellen Pompeo, the advice to approach being #1 on the call sheet of a TV show the way an athlete would approach her dedicated sport. The point here is that I’m not seeking more information on enduring the schedule. I’m interested in how she kept the motivation and rationale for her character over such a long period. What did she do when she had disagreements about things Olivia was written to do? Would she have done anything differently? What was the thing that Olivia did that she found hardest to justify? Who was that one guest star who gave her nothing when they acted together (alluded to in Unpacking the Toolbox, episode 107)? And finally, can she stop playing diplomat and just say that Tony is the better kisser?
Q8: IDTAMPL was weird. What was the fear behind that, and how do you now define ‘personal life’?
For the uninitiated, or those with short-term memories, the acronym IDTAMPL stands for I Don’t Talk About My Personal Life. Kerry adopted this saying whenever she was interviewed after her marriage to Nnamdi Asomugha was announced on the 3rd of July 2013. Occurring on the brink of the holiday weekend, the news dropped like a bomb in the Scandal fandom. Even outside the fandom. Many were flummoxed, including me. On the 4th of July, I attended a celebration in London with a fellow American who is a big-time Philadelphia Eagles (Nnamdi’s former team) football fan, including the gossip surrounding the team. As soon as she opened her door to me, she said, “Your girl married Nnamdi?!” She consumed more football than Scandal at the time. Suffice it to say, I have left out the accurate number of question marks and exclamations in her voice. Her face, too, was full of them.
Listen, we used to be a proper country. Many celebrities, with and without talent, have lost the art of mystique, preferring instead to cultivate the marketing skill of capturing attention and selling it to us as actual talent.
I am thankful for those celebrities who maintain the mystique of a bygone era. Intrigue me, but don’t shut the door completely. The latter is what it felt like Kerry did after it was announced that she was married. Prior to the announcement, I don’t recall the media being that interested in Kerry’s dating life. It was not a topic that came up. Nor did Kerry ever let on that she was dating, let alone that she had been involved with Asomugha for three years (according to Kerry’s timeline of their meeting in 2009 when she did the Broadway play, Race). I have no qualms with celebrities who don’t make their partners part of their public image, or the ones who wed outside the limelight (Margot Robbie, Chris Evans (recently)). What I don’t like is when they pretend that they didn’t volunteer the information in the first place. Kerry’s team announced the marriage, even giving PR-friendly People Online titbits from “a source close to the couple” about Kerry’s ‘regular’ looking wedding dress (I kid you not. The source called the unseen dress ’regular’). We even learned that the “secret wedding” (every publication used that phrase so it’s deliberate) took place in the potato-producing state of Hailey, Idaho in the last week of June. These things were volunteered.
But once Kerry emerged back on red carpets and public events that summer, she trotted out a new PR line when asked follow-up questions about her wedding, husband, or newly married life: “I don’t talk about my personal life”. After literal years of not mentioning a romantic life, when her very public engagement to David Moscow ended in 2007, it was Kerry who let the public know: 1) She was hiding a boyfriend (shoutout to Pusha T); and 2) Surprise! I’s married now (shoutout to Shug Avery)…but don’t ask me anything about it! Don’t even ask me for a picture with the two of us together to go with your marriage announcement headlines. That’s what photoshop is for. Figure it out!
I’m being facetious, but, girl...
BFFR. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. We didn’t ask, but she definitely told us. And when folks followed up on that telling, Kerry closed up tighter than a sphincter with a ‘do not enter sign. That whole era was awkward. Can we acknowledge that, at least?
Lest you think, “You’re being way harsh, Tai”, I’m not. What I sense is that there was some fear Kerry harboured behind revealing her coupling with Nnamdi. What was the source of the fear that led to the IDTAMPL shutdown? Was it because she did not want her personal narrative to be overshadowed by her relationship status? And what inspired her to begin relaxing that… a little? Like, she waited until her second child was born in 2017 to start allowing articles to describe her as “a mother of three”, revealing Nnamdi’s daughter from a previous relationship, which she had not acknowledged before. Was it simply time that allowed her to all but retire the IDTAMPL line? Or were there key turning points that led to slow revelations? And can we agree that the reluctance to talk about a ‘personal’ life is specifically related to her husband (mostly) and children (I support her keeping them off social media)? Words mean things. One’s parents are part of one’s personal life, but Kerry has no qualms about performing her relationship with them on social media. I mean, the excerpt she chose for us to read busts-open like a ripe papaya their whole past marital dysfunction, and her mother’s contemplating being unalive. Like…are such matters not not both personal and private? With all of that in mind, what has prompted this rethinking? How does Kerry now define ‘personal life’?
Q9: What is your most enduring memory from your time in India? Would you go back if you haven’t already?
On more than one occasion, Kerry has referenced her time spent in India. Besides the fact that she chose to travel to the subcontinent after graduation from George Washington University, we don’t know that much about that period (and that she studied Yoga whilst there). Kerry graduated from GW in 1999 (?). I spent five months in the southern states of India in the first half of 2000. I’m not sure if her trip crossed over into the new millennium, but it’s kind of cool to think about us both being in that vast country at the same time. I would love to know what are some of Kerry’s outstanding memories? What did she love about that place? What does she not miss? Did she visit a favourite place, or discover a dish she continues to enjoy? Does she, like me, share Indian heritage as part of her Jamaican identity?
Looking back, did travelling abroad at such a formative age, shape her coming of age in any way? I would welcome any memories or anecdotes from that time in her life.
Q: Beyond “mutual respect” for each other, why are you at your most playful around Tony Goldwyn?
I cannot be sure, but it is likely that Kerry has come across online theories and conspiracies that are both outlandish and semi-reasonable based on visuals alone. Whenever fans (to be clear, I am ‘fans’) are treated to her interactions with Tony Goldwyn, it feels like a hit of sugar injected directly into our veins. Their power has a hold on us.
It is not simply fans seeing in Kerry and Tony a nostalgia for Olivia and Fitz. Both entities are a force unto themselves. Most don’t confuse one for the other, if they have a shred of media literacy. Even people who hated Olivia and Fitz as a couple can acknowledge that there is a je ne sais quoi between Kerry and Tony. Their chemistry has its own fans; it’s palpable. I know that Kerry knows that the Kerry x Tony appearances are gold because she leverages them on social media. She’s leveraging it right now for her book tour. It’s no accident that the Washington, D.C. tour stop with Tony Goldwyn as the special guest was the first to quickly sell out dates were announced. People are coming to that tour stop for the cerise sur la gateau which is the Kerry x Tony bond. I’m not cynical enough (or blind enough) to believe that their interactions are simply good “PRs” for both their images (as some have alleged). No, there is an energy, an authenticity that crackles and fizzes between them, even when they are simply standing next to each other.
Hell, it’s there when one of them simply talks about the absent other. Fair enough that chemistry works in mysterious ways that can’t be manufactured. But when Kerry is in the vicinity of Tony Goldwyn, there is also Physics at play. There is inertia in their body language to familiarity and comfortability with each other in ways that speak to a shared intimacy. I mean that in the sense of closeness and rapport. Kerry and Tony are clearly very close. Beyond the “mutual respect” they say they have for each other, there is something about who Kerry is when she is around Tony that is different than when she is around others. She doesn’t have that with her other Scandal co-stars with whom she has remained friends. Other than her passionate and on-point political advocacy, her time spent with Tony Goldwyn lends a cozy texture to her personality that is more easily felt than described. It’s like popping the bubble of perfectionism and letting out a giant exhale. Me, I exhale when they are together. Am I trippin, or is there something about Tony Goldwyn that effortlessly extracts this playfulness in her, and can she feel it, too?
Bonus Question (A la Inside The Actors Studio): What is your favourite curse word? What sound do you love? What sound do you hate? What scares you? What makes you cry? What petty thing have you had it with? What did you finally embrace only after you were in your forties?
Even if Bravo were to resurrect Inside The Actors Studio [LINK], Kerry Washington will never have the chance to be interviewed by James Lipton because he passed away in 2020. A venerable institution himself, Lipton’s sincere and earnestly pointed manner of asking questions gave actors the opportunity to embark on a journey of both self and art in the space of an hour, in front of a live audience of actors-in-training. Through this show, the audience could learn more about their favourite actor, and all the ways in which the personal intersects with their art, and much more. My favourite part was always the quick-fire round near the end when Lipton would ask the small, quotidian questions that are the true stuff of life. You know, the anti-Hollywood shit. Though it’s a cheat, it is in that vein that the bonus questions above are designed. A few are taken from James Lipton, and others added by me.
Those are all of the questions…until I read Kerry’s tome.
Perfect-seeming people are boring and untrustworthy. But is the perception entirely a fiction created by the celebrity or us?
“…[She’s] clearly a beautiful, intelligent, multi-talented, quietly formidable woman with a Jesus-like heart. From what we can tell, she is highly respected among her peers. Well, that’s who we’ve made her out to be. We choose to see those things in her because that’s what’s on public offer. Because of that, it’s so easy to turn KW into some Magical Negress archetype imprisoned on a pedestal in our minds. We believe Kerry is clean. Kerry walks on water. Kerry makes the fishes and the loaves. As her fans… we mythologize her, and others like her, because we have this deep-seated human need to create heroes for ourselves. We need to believe that there are people less fallible than we are: that if we believe in their perfection, it might take us a little closer towards that ideal… Kerry doesn’t walk on water. She’s not perfect. The reason I know is because she’s flesh and bone and blood, just like you and me.” (Me, 2013)
It's true: the perception is a little but her, a little bit us (me). However, I can’t say that I’ve seen a lot of evidence of the proverbial ‘flesh and bone and blood’. That perception seems poised to change on the 26th of September with Thicker Than Water’s release.
I was surprised (in a good way) to see Kerry reference this early ‘need’ she placed on herself to be ‘good’ as a point of connection for her parents, whose marriage was in trouble. I was also sad because I know what that means. I did that to myself at age 12, and it’s been hard to completely abandon. But the admission intrigued me, and I hope there is more of that kind of self-revelation in the book as the timeline approaches the Kerry we see today. Above all else, my wish for Thicker Than Water, is this: to offer me insight and greater clarity about a woman whose public persona, for the last ten years, has been highly visible, yet persistently opaque.
I get it. To exist publicly as a Black woman in the 21st Century is to navigate a high-wire act. Perception is always on the mind, especially in Kerry’s industry. If you share too much, people have a problem; not enough, people have a problem. Nothing you share is impervious to being twisted into the most ungenerous or scandalous interpretation. We have watched Queen Mother, Beyonce, in the last decade become more deliberate about what she shares with the public. But even she feels like less of a question mark than Kerry Washington. Beyonce has, at least, given us glimpses into her personal life and thoughts via documentaries, BTS photos, and the intimacy of confession in her art—the parts that are beautiful, fucked up, or ambivalent. This is not me pitting two bad bitches against each other. It is me offering an example of another Black woman who has told us that she battles perfectionism, and who has found a way to let us in (or feel like it), through her art, whilst making her boundaries clear.
Thicker Than Water will be a part of Kerry’s artistic self. It is a product of memory and polished fiction; narratives carefully organized and swaddled in beautiful prose (based on the excerpt) that promises to take the reader on a journey. As someone who recently published a book that is small in its number of pages, but big in its revelations of things unspoken and unshared, I know that writing is an intimate act of exploring one’s mind and interiority; of the past and its pertinence with the present. What your mouth cannot say, your fingers will. It is my most profound hope that Thicker Than Water allows me to feel a sense of connection with flesh and blood and bone Kerry Washington. And I hope for her the book accomplishes a giant exhale of whatever she wants to release into the world. Whether or not I will personally be satisfied by the book... stay tuned.
Q: What are your questions for Kerry?
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✨About WTP✨
Your questions about the project itself will be answered here!
⠀
What is We The Pixies?
We The Pixies (WTP for short) is a rewrite of Disney's Pixie Hollow online multiplayer game that ran from 2008 to 2013. WTP has been in development since 2018.
WTP is not affiliated with The Walt Disney Company and/or the Disney Interactive Media Group.
⠀
Where can I play it?
As WTP is still in alpha testing, you cannot play the full version of Pixie Hollow at the moment. You can give the demo a play at: https://www.wethepixies.net/
⠀
When will new features be released?
Watch the game-news channel in our Discord server for updates as soon as they happen!
We know it’s hard to wait for new game features, but please try not to nag the staff about updates. We’ll let you know when we release new features on all our socials.
⠀
When will WTP be completed?
Unfortunately, there's no definite answer. WTP is a volunteer project, meaning that staff members have to find time in their busy schedules to work on it. The game essentially has to be rebuilt from scratch, which means that things may take a while to get finished.
Please be patient. We’re working our wings off to make WTP the best it can be.
⠀
When WTP is complete, will I have to pay for a membership to access all of the features?
Not at all! Everything in WTP will be free for each & every player.
⠀
Will I be able to play as my old fairy from Pixie Hollow?
No. WTP is in no way affiliated with Disney so, unfortunately, we cannot transfer old fairy accounts over from Disney’s game.
⠀
Will WTP be merging with other Pixie Hollow remakes?
No. WTP has no plans to merge with any other Pixie-Hollow-related projects.
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Will there be updates to the original game/new content?
WTP’s number one priority is to bring the original game back to life. However, we are hoping to incorporate more original content (in accordance with Pixie Hollow’s aesthetic) sometime in the far future.
⠀
Will there be a website for WTP? If so, when will it be available?
Yes! The team is hard at work creating an official website that reflects the magic of the original game. As the website is still under construction, we do not have an estimated time of release.
⠀
Will WTP begin accepting donations?
No, WTP will not be accepting any donations. The game will be 100% funded by staff.
✨Current Game Features✨
Your questions about the current version of the demo will be answered here!
⠀
Can I make an account and save my fairy?
Accounts aren't an option right now - to enjoy the demo, you'll have to create a new fairy every time or use a CaF code.
At the end of the Create-A-Fairy process, you can copy and save a CaF Code, which you can use to skip Create-A-Fairy while keeping your character's design. We suggest you save this code in a Word document so you can copy and paste it at the beginning of Create-A-Fairy next time you play. To learn more about CaF codes, click here.
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What meadows can I explore?
At the moment, players can explore three meadows: Dewdrop Vale, Palm Tree Cove, and Neverberry Thicket. Other classic meadows are being developed.
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Where are the talent games?
Only Bubble Bounce and Butterfly Painter are available for now; they are located in Dewdrop Vale and Palm Tree Cove respectively. More talent games are on the way!
Can I go shopping?
Yes - we currently have three stores in-game. Brook's Basics clothing store in Dewdrop Vale, Schelly's Shears hair salon in Palm Tree Cove and Harmony's Sweet Shop in Neverberry Thicket are open for business! More items and shops are in development.
⠀
I see other fairies, but I can't add them as friends!
Adding fairy friends isn’t available right now, although we’re working on it!
How do I complete the tasks in my journal?
At the present moment the tasks listed in your journal are merely suggestions and not something that can be completed.
Can I play We The Pixies on mobile?
Yes, We The Pixies is playable on mobile.
Which browser is the best to play We The Pixies on?
We The Pixies works on all browsers, although some players have run into issues on Safari, so please be sure to include which browser/device you're playing on when submitting a bug report.
What’s up with the profiles? They look like they’re missing a lot of stuff.
We’re working with fairly simple profiles right now - over time, we’ll add more features. Right now, you can use profiles to report and whisper to individual users.
⠀
How will the chat system be filtered to keep the game kid-friendly?
All chat messages are filtered using a whitelist of allowable words, including: meadow names, fairy name combinations, and much more. In the future, we hope to take player recommendations of words to add to our whitelist!
✨Ways to Help✨
Interested in contributing? Your questions about volunteering will be answered here!
How can I help with the current bugs?
1) I'm trying to create a fairy but the avatar isn't showing up!
2) My fairy turned white!
3) Other bug not listed above
These are bugs we're working on fixing. Please be sure to send in a bug report, and in the meantime we recommend refreshing your browser to see if that solves the issue.
Can I apply to help?
Fly on over to the application-links channel in our Discord server to check which positions are open as we don't announce that on any of our socials & you need to have been in the Discord for some time to apply.
⠀
I don't know anything about developing. Can I still apply to help?
Occasionally, other roles such as Moderator, Artist or Sound Designer will open up. Applications for these roles will be present in the application-links channel when they are available. Developer is the only staff position that is always accepting new members. However, everyone can help the staff by reporting bugs in the demo!
⠀
How can I report a bug?
To report a bug, you can fill out this official bug report form:
https://forms.gle/4NPZa5Rrq1q69zT99
Please be sure to include a clear and detailed description of the bug, exact steps to reproduce the bug, and screenshots (if possible).
⠀
What do artists and developers do?
Together, our artists and developers work to rebuild the game from the ground up. Individually, they do a lot, but to summarize:
Artists restore art & assets from the original game, as well as create animations and spritesheets.
Developers are responsible for game development and/or web design.
⠀
I recently applied for a position and haven’t heard back. What should I do?
Responses to application forms generally go out within the week, either via email or Discord. However, if you have any questions about your application, feel free to message any of the staff members on our Discord server.
Thank you for supporting the We The Pixies project! We look forward to flying with you at wethepixies.net!
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𝚂𝚘 𝙼𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝙵𝚘𝚛 (𝚃𝚘𝚞𝚛)𝚍𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜
As the tour has turned out to be a rollercoaster of emotions and nostalgia, I decided to concentrate in a small masterpost each of the surprise songs played by the guys throughout the whole tour. It will be constantly updated and is not free of errors, if you notice any mistake in the dates or the position of the songs, feel free to comment and I will fix it. By now the source is the people who had contributed to the setlist.fm website, so I will try to look for more reliable sources with links to their respective creators (and also videos if it's possible) Thanks for reading, and happy tourdust to all. 🖤✨
GUIDE OF FORMATS:
SONGS PART OF THE PERMANENT SETLIST
SONGS (NOT PART OF MAGIC 8 BALL DYNAMIC OR THE PERMANENT SETLIST) PLAYED
MAGIC 8 BALL SONGS
SONGS PLAYED BY PATRICK ON PIANO
LAST UPDATED: Jul/3
ALBUMS
Take This To Your Grave (2003)
Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today • Dead On Arrival • GRAND THEFT AUTUMN / WHERE IS YOUR BOY • SATURDAY • HOMESICK AT SPACE CAMP (Jun/30) • Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) • CHICAGO IS SO TWO YEARS AGO • The Pros And Cons Of Breathing • Grenade Jumper • CALM BEFORE THE STORM • Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over • The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes • Roxanne
From Under The Cork Tree (2005)
Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued (Jun/27) ● OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN ALL THE WORLD (Jun/23) ● DANCE, DANCE ● SUGAR WE'RE GOING DOWN ● Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner ● I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) ● 7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen) ● SOPHOMORE SLUMP OR COMEBACK OF THE YEAR (Jun/24) ● Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends ● I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me ● A LITTLE LESS SIXTEEN CANDLES, A LITTLE MORE "TOUCH ME" ● Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows) ● XO ● Snitches And Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers • The Music Or The Misery
Infinity On High (2007)
Thriller ● "THE TAKE OVER, THE BREAKS OVER" (Jun/23) ● THIS AIN'T A SCENE, IT'S AN ARMS RACE ● I'M LIKE A LAWYER WITH THE WAY I'M ALWAYS TRYING TO GET YOU OFF (ME & YOU) (Jun/24) ● HUM HALLELUJAH (Jun/24) ● GOLDEN (JUL/2) ● THNKS FR TH MMRS ● Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? ● THE (AFTER) LIFE OF THE PARTY (Jun/28)● The Carpal Tunnel Of Love ● BANG THE DOLDRUMS (JUL/3) ● Fame < Infamy ● You're Crashing, But You're No Wave ● I'VE GOT ALL THIS RINGING IN MY EARS AND NONE ON MY FINGERS (JUL/3) ● G.I.N.A.S.F.S. (Jun/21) ● It's Hard To Say "I Do", When I Don't
Folie à Deux (2008)
DISLOYAL ORDER OF WATER BUFFALOES ● I Don't Care ● She's My Winona ● AMERICA'S SUITEHEARTS (JUL/2) ● HEADFIRST SLIDE INTO COOPERSTOWN ON A BAD BET ● The (Shipped) Gold Standard ● (COFFEE'S FOR CLOSERS) (JUL/1) ● WHAT A CATCH, DONNIE (Jun/28) ● 27 ● Tiffany Blews ● w.a.m.s. ● 20 Dollar Nose Bleed ● West Coast Smoker ● Pavlove ● Beat It ● Lullabye
Save Rock And Roll (2013)
The Phoenix ● MY SONGS KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN THE DARK ● Alone Together ● Where Did The Party Go ● Just One Yesterday ● The Mighty Fall ● Miss Missing You ● Death Valley ● Young Volcanoes ● Rat A Tat ● SAVE ROCK AND ROLL
American Beauty / American Psycho (2015)
Irresistible ● American Beauty / American Psycho ● CENTURIES ● The Kids Aren't Alright ● UMA THURMAN ● Jet Pack Blues ● Novocaine ● Fourth Of July ● Favorite Record ● Immortals ● Twin Skeletons (Hotel In NYC)
M A N I A (2018)
Young And Menace ● Champion ● Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea ● HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T ● THE LAST OF THE REAL ONES ● Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) ● Church ● Heaven's Gate ● Sunshine Riptide ● Bishops Knife Trick
So Much (For) Stardust (2023)
LOVE FROM THE OTHER SIDE ● Heartbreak Feels So Good ● HOLD ME LIKE A GRUDGE ● FAKE OUT ● HEAVEN, IOWA ● So Good Right Now ● THE PINK SEASHELL ● I Am My Own Muse ● Flu Game ● BABY ANNIHILATION ● THE KINTSUGI KID (TEN YEARS)(JUN/27)● WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE (Jun/23) ● So Much (For) Stardust
EPs
Evening Out With Your Girlfriend (2003)
Honorable Mention ● CALM BEFORE THE STORM ● Switchblades And Infidelity ● Pretty In Punk ● Growing Up ● The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys In A Broken Down Van) ● Short, Fast And Loud ● Moving Pictures ● Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot)
My Heart Will Always Be The B-Side To My Tongue (2004)
My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon ● "It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love" ● Love Will Tear Us Apart
PAX AM Days (2013)
We Were Doomed From The Start (The King Is Dead) ● Art Of Keeping Up Disappearances ● Hot To The Touch, Cold On The Inside ● Love, Sex, Death ● Eternal Summer ● Demigods ● American Made ● Caffeine Cold ● New Dreams
Llamania (2018)
Past Life ● Footprints In The Snow ● Wrong Side Of Paradise
Lake Effect Kid (2018)
Lake Effect Kid ● City In A Garden ● Super Fade
OTHERS
LAKE SHORE DRIVE (ALIOTTA HAYNES JEREMIAH COVER) (Jun/21)
SOMEBODY TO LOVE (QUEEN COVER) (Jun/27)
TAKE ON ME (A-HA COVER)(Jun/27)
SPOTLIGHT (PATRICK STUMP SONG) (JUN/30)🧡
NOTHING COMPARES 2 YOU (SINÉAD O'CONNOR COVER) (JUL/1)
MR. BLUE SKY (ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA COVER) (JUL/2)
EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE (THE POLICE COVER) (JUL/3)
DON'T STOP BELIEVING (JOURNEY COVER)
CRAZY TRAIN (OZZY OSBOURNE COVER)
[NEXT WILL BE ADDED AS SOON AS THEY'RE PLAYED]
#during the week i'll be adding links to the videos of each of them dw#fall out boy#patrick stump#pete wentz#andy hurley#joe trohman#so much (for) stardust#so much for stardust#so much for tour dust#so much for (tour) dust#tourdust era#tourdust#fob#fob8#smfs#tour songlist#toudust spoilers
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