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demonic-intervention · 3 years

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Whumptober 2021 - Day 7

No. 7 - MY SPIDEY-SENSE IS TINGLING

helplessness | numbness | blindness

Word of Honor, Four Seasons Manor domesticity arc, Wenzhou, 1.8K, see tags for more info - AO3 link

Masterpost

important note: Blindness as a whumptober prompt comes with its own set of problems. As many actual blind people have already remarked, using blindness to inflict hurt on a fictional character leaves at best a bad aftertaste. It further reinforces the stereotype non-blind people have that living with impaired or without vision is a life that lacks something or that cannot be as happy. (Spoilers!) Thus, I want to specify that I've written this fic from the perspective that Zhou Zishu's initial reaction to waking up blind would be being scared and devastated because he sees his dreams for the future falling apart. This is the focus of this fic and I chose this based on canon. However, if he were to lose his vision permanently (which he knows will happen eventually), my headcanon is that he would find ways to adapt and still do the things he loves. But I understand that saying it is not the same as writing it. Furthermore, the trope of blindness being magically cured is a disservice to actual blind/visually-impared people for the reasons mentioned above. Therefore, I won't use disabilities of real-life people as whump prompts anymore. Nonetheless, I still wanted to post this fic (I wrote before learning about these issues), now in hopes that we as writers can start thinking about how we treat disabilities in fiction and how that might affect people with disabilities.

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Wen Kexing was bursting into the room. "Ah-Xu, I can't believe you're still asleep." Until now, Zhou Zishu had slept peacefully. Even the nails hadn't acted up in the middle of the night. He grumbled and turned around, hitching the blanket further up to his neck. "Ah-Xu. You can't sleep all day," Wen Kexing reminded him by shaking him by the shoulders. "Ah-Xuuu."

Batting the pestering arms away, Zhou Zishu rolled back on his side despite now definitely being awake. "You pest, let me sleep." Wen Kexing was pouting. "Ah-Xu. So disrespectful of your wife. Get up, it's almost noon." Reflexively, Zhou Zishu swatted at the hands that seemed to be all over his body again. However, once Wen Kexing's words settled in, Zhou Zishu stilled. Meticulously, he pulled the covers away and swung his legs off the bed. Sitting on its edge, he stared into the air. "Ah-Xu?"

Zhou Zishu had to reassure himself twice that his eyes were open, but he could feel it. Digging his palms and nails into the bed frame, he opened his mouth. "Lao Wen. I can't see." Wen Kexing tipped his head to the side in a puzzled expression. "What do you mean?," he asked kneeling down in front of Zhou Zishu. "I can't see. Lao Wen, I'm blind."

Wen Kexing's puzzled expression changed to a worried one. Tentatively, he placed his hands on Zhou Zishu's knees and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "I'm here, Ah-Xu." Being touched without foreseeing it made Zhou Zishu stiffen but his posture quickly relaxed again. He took one hand of the bed frame to seek Wen Kexing's hand. The latter looked at him helplessly. "Ah-Xu, has this happened before?" The empty gaze boring into his forehead made Wen Kexing nervous. "Not like this."

Wen Kexing was just about ready to jump out of his skin. He didn't know how to help, nor how to comfort Zhou Zishu. Hell, he didn't even know if helping Zhou Zishu was within his capabilities. But he had to try. "Ah-Xu, I need a little more to work with if I'm supposed to help you." For a split second, Zhou Zishu succumbed to terrified rage. "What is there that could possibly help! It's the nails. My vision has been fuzzy before, or darkening on the edges. But it has always returned to normal..." He let his head fall down and sighed deeply. In rapid succession, he saw all his hopes for a better future crumbling away in his mind. Blind he could no longer train Chengling. He couldn't see the Four Seasons Manor getting rebuild. He couldn't practice his martial arts to their full extent anymore. He would never see Lao Wen's face again. Blind, he was a liability. He couldn't stop a few tears from escaping his eyes.

Wen Kexing was always quick to catch onto his shidi's distress. He palmed Zhou Zishu's cheek, wiping at a few tears and kissing the others away. "Ah-Xu. You can feel me, right?" He turned Zhou Zishu's hand with the palm facing upwards, slipping his own fingers over the curves to lace their fingers together. Zhou Zishu nodded weakly. Holding his hand, Wen Kexing continued reassuring him, "I'm right here. You still got me." He placed soft kisses on the back of his hand. "You said your vision always came back. Maybe it's the same this time. We just have to be a little patient."

The thoughts in Zhou Zishu's head were running at the speed of light, but they all boiled down to the same thing: he was useless now. On the outside, he hadn't moved for what felt like hours to Wen Kexing. "Ah-Xu. Say something." Although Zhou Zishu could technically pinpoint where Wen Kexing's face was to look at him, he lowered his eyes even more. Spoken into his chest, his words were almost inaudible. "I'm useless."

Zhou Zishu let out a shuddering breath, close to choking up. "Oh, Ah-Xu." Wen Kexing took Zhou Zishu's face in his hands, covering it with feather-like kisses. "Ah-Xu, you are not useless. Don't worry about that." Intent on keeping him silent, Wen Kexing mouthed kisses all over his face. He kissed Ah-Xu's arched eyebrows, the mole under his eye. Kissed his tears away, working his way from the corner of the mouth to the plump center. Zhou Zishu was visibly shaking, his voice stuttering. "But what if my sight doesn't return? What about training Chengling? Or my martial arts? Keeping you safe?"

Although Zhou Zishu couldn't see it, he could still hear Wen Kexing's gentle smile in his voice. "But those are what ifs, Ah-Xu. We will think about that should we get to it. First, you're gonna rest and we'll wait." His response was a sniffle and a fair nod. "Alright. Now, how about I make us something to eat while you meditate for a bit? Sounds like a plan?" Zhou Zishu was slowly unfolding himself, sitting more upright, and looking vaguely in Wen Kexing's direction. "Okay."

Wen Kexing was about to leave through the door when Zhou Zishu called out. "Wait! Lao Wen, what about Chengling?" Laughing whole-heartedly, Wen Kexing replied. "I'll just tell him to practice the steps you showed him yesterday until sunset." Chuckling, he slipped out of the room towards the kitchen.

*-*-*-*

Despite his composed demeanor, Wen Kexing was far from calm. He worried just as much as Zhou Zishu, maybe a bit more. Yet, he wasn't someone who resorted to panic where it was not needed. Staying calm had proved to be more useful in the past. And in any way, they weren't even sure Zhou Zishu would stay blind, Wen Kexing tried to reassure himself. For anything he knew, Zhou Zishu could come up behind him while cooking, wrapping his arms around his waist and happily declaring that he was back to normal. Thankfully, no one could be bothered by his anxiously hacking away at the vegetables. Well, except for the vegetables maybe.

On his way to the kitchen, Wen Kexing had run into Chengling and had told him what his shifu wanted him to do, all to Chengling's dislike. Grumpily, he had gotten up and was now training in the yard. With his quick thinking skills, Wen Kexing had added that Chengling should not disturb Zhou Zishu today for he was meditating in his room. Any other discipline might have asked some more questions, yet Chengling wasn't one to think too much of things. Albeit he did find it unusual for his shifu to meditate all day.

Wen Kexing returned to find Zhou Zishu sitting on the bed in deep meditation. Although unwilling to interrupt, it was time for dinner. "Ah-Xu, let's eat!" Wen Kexing carried a tray to the table while Zhou Zishu had already gotten up. Without a word, Wen Kexing offered him his hand to guide him to the table. Placing his hands on his shoulders, he turned Zhou Zishu in the right direction so all he had to do was sit down where he stood. After arranging his limbs, Zhou Zishu uttered a small thanks.

Once they were both seated, Wen Kexing pushed a bowl into Zhou Zishu's hands. "What is this?" Wen Kexing was pouring himself a bowl. "Ah-Xu. Can't you tell?" Leaning in, Zhou Zishu smelled the soup before moving his hand around the rim of the bowl to find a spoon placed in it. "Careful, it's still hot." Zhou Zishu blew on it, then took a sip. His eyebrows rose in happy surprise. "Lotus root soup?" Nodding satisfied, Wen Kexing explained briefly. "Sustains the mind and body." Even if it didn't, Zhou Zishu would still eat through an entire pot of Lao Wen's lotus root soup. Wen Kexing considered his mission to lift Ah-Xu's spirits a success.

*-*-*-*

Like that, the afternoon passed by. After dinner, Zhou Zishu had reverted to meditating and Wen Kexing had joined him playing soothing melodies on his xiao after cleaning up the kitchen and reminding Chengling not to slack off.

It was evening. Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu sat next to each other bed in their dimly-lit room. Wen Kexing was reading, sometimes out loud for Zhou Zishu who sat close by with his head leaning on Wen Kexing's shoulder. "It seems the hills and rivers have been waiting,/ The flowers and willows all are selfless now./ The field is sleek and vivid, thin mist shines,/ On soft sand, the sunlight's color shows it's late./ All the traveler's sorrow fades away,/ What better place to rest than this?," Wen Kexing recited.

In the radiating warmth of Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu closed his eyes to listen to his voice and feel the vibrations in his chest. Zhou Zishu wondered why Wen Kexing had picked that poem. "Lao Wen, do you want to tell me something with this poem?," he prodded. "Ah-Xu. You know I carry my heart on my tongue. All is said already." Out of habit, Zhou Zishu opened his eyes again as he cuddled closer to Wen Kexing. At first, he believed the orange dots to be figures of his imagination. But after some time had passed, he recognized the edges of the table glowing in the candlelight. He recognized the silhouettes of their bodies leaning against each other. Zhou Zishu smiled and melted into Wen Kexing's touch.

He entangled himself from Wen Kexing only for a moment to take Lao Wen's face in his hands and turn it so that they could face one another. Zhou Zishu made sure to look Wen Kexing in the eyes before leaning in to kiss him. The kiss was soft, yet passionate and claiming. When they parted again, Wen Kexing looked at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. "Ah-Xu, you're sight is back?" Offering him a smile, Zhou Zishu nodded reassuringly. Unable to contain himself, Wen Kexing let out a laugh just to bury his face in Zhou Zishu's neck and holding him close. Absent-mindedly, Zhou Zishu caressed Wen Kexing's back. It was a silent thank you and an offer of comfort to both men.

As night crept over them, they eventually lay down to sleep. It was taking longer than usual because Zhou Zishu paused in his movements every time he laid eyes on Wen Kexing. He asked Wen Kexing to keep the candles burning until they would inevitably go out. Wen Kexing seemed to understand when he let the candles be to crawl under the blanket next to Zhou Zishu. Being on his feet all day, it didn't take long for Wen Kexing to fall asleep, protectively tugged into Zhou Zishu's embrace. Zhou Zishu wouldn't sleep as long as the candles were still burning. The sight of Wen Kexing peacefully asleep just too good to shut his eyes to. He was set on making sure he would never forget how his Lao Wen looked like resting so close to his heart.

poem: Travelling Again (後游) by Du Fu (杜甫)

#whumptober2021 #no.7 #blindness #word of honor #fic #wenzhou #zhou zishu #wen kexing #word of honor fic #woh fic

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