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heterorealism · 7 months

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#feminism #gender #dating memes #divorce him #heterorealism #gender inequality #aging gracefully #aging parents

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theworldoffostering · 8 months

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Ms. 6 is living several counties away from me. I am desperately trying to remove her from my health insurance plan. My HR department is telling me that I am not allowed to do so as we have not experienced a life event.

I can see that Ms. 6 has been in the ER, a doctor visit, and picked up medication at a pharmacy. My HR department told me today that I am financially responsible for any medical costs she incurs along the way, and they will not drop her unless I can somehow prove that she is no longer my dependent.

Ms. 6 has always had secondary insurance. That alone should be enough for me to drop her, but my HR has said that because the secondary insurance did not begin within the last 30 days, then it is not a new event.

Y’all, I met with the church today regarding services for my dad. We meet with the funeral home tomorrow. I’m trying to walk six kids through this major loss and in the background I’m stressing about the potential huge sums of money I’m going to owe for my kid to see out of network providers.

#funeral #aging parents #parent death #death of a parent #adoption #parenting teens #running away

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monkeymeghan · 9 months

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Getting older royally sucks. And not because I’m getting older, but because my parents are. It’s so hard to see them decline as the years go on. Not only that, they expect so much of me regarding their health and whatnot. I get it, I have the medical knowledge (I used to be a nurse), but it really takes a toll on me, and I don’t think they realize just how high that toll is. *sigh* :(

#I feel like there’s nothing left for me sometimes #I feel like my entire existence is to take care of them #what is my purpose beyond that?#do I even have one?#personal #aging #aging parents #caregiver #parents

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sadowlswriting · 7 months

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I can see how time has changed you; it's taken its thumbs and folded skin into the layers of itself. Added weight for you to carry in your joints, a stiffness, tension, and an ache that carries its way into your heart.

The type of ache that can't be fixed by medicines, or doctors. It's an ache from all the yearning, yearning to stay a little longer, see a little more, and a yearning to just, be.

But I look into your eyes, and they tell me you're, you. You're still young, and alive, lively, and desperate to do all the things you used to do. The ache grows stronger, as memories are triggered, and you tell me about how when you were young, you could go shopping for hours on end, but your legs grow tired and your arms hurt before you've even left the door.

You say, you're old now. You say, your body's not what it used to be. You say, you wish you were young again. You tell me, don't get old, as though I can stop time, and I wish I could, I'd stay in this moment a little longer; try to stain it in the creases of my mind.

I can see how time has changed you; it's taken the parts of you that were great, and it's made them even better. You don't want to rest, but you've done all you need to now. It's time you worry less, and let others do it for you. Let me take care of you, as you did, me.

-Owl.

#writing #poetry #poem #words #confessional poetry #short poetry #aging parents

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lostinthought44 · 1 year

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I think there is something so uniquely, and unintentionally, beautiful about ageing. The way one's face and body begins to express your emotions for u. The way the face and body begins to tell a story so unimaginably wonderful, without u even noticing. I think it is so wonderful when a face and body begins to wrinkle and age and tell the story of u. The story of ur life before I was a part of it. I’m so deeply mesmerised by the story of ur childhood told with the help of the scar on the bottom of ur left shin. I’m swept into ur first born's bedroom when they show me the tiny, almost faded scar they have above their right eyebrow from falling from their bed when they were little. I’m taken aback by ur beauty when I notice that the crows feet beneath ur eyes are so deeply present because ur smile has always taken over ur whole face. I fall in love with the possibilities of my life when I see how deeply the events and moments of urs have become so ingrained in u. There is something so astonishingly beautiful in u, thus the same must exist in ageing too…

ken 🫧

no permission is given to copy, steal, or republish my work (outside of reblogs and likes) without proper credit and my consent

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remembertheplunge · 9 months

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"You've married into an intense family."

11/11/2001. 3:38pm Sunday The leaves have really turned “Fall” in the 50 hours we were in Paso (Paso Robles, California)

I lit a candle for Margie, Dennis and Ruth Ann. Tough, tough situations.

Jim's friend said to me “You’ve married into an intense family.”

Chat factor a bit more mellow this trip.

Dennis, Jim’s Dad, has declined dramatically since August. Margie said it happened over night. Dennis doesn’t watch TV (he can’t see it due to cataracts.) He sleeps a lot.

Margie’s pills cause her to hallucinate. She thought a man came in her room the first night we were here.

3/29/2002 (Margin notes to above 11/11/2001 entry)

Jim talked to Dennis via phone yesterday. Dennis spoke of his brother’s Bob and Jim as being alive. They are both long dead. Dennis cried as the call ended. Jim cried as well.

Ruth Ann grows more ill. She cut a visit with us short 3/17/2002. Johnny asked us “can you see the difference ( re: her declining health) “What do I do?"

End of entry

Notes:

Jim was my gay partner in 2001. Jim's friend was out and gay.

Dennis and Margie were Jim’s parents. They lived in Paso Robles ., California. We were visiting from our home in Modesto, California . Ruth Ann was Jim’s cousin. Johnny was her husband.

Jim. Margie and Dennis have since died.

End of entry

Notes:

It’s interesting that in the 11/11/2001 entry, Jim's friend refers to Jim and I as being married. I his eyes, and, in ours, we were, marriage license or not. (Jim and I were never legally married).

Visiting the Wentzels, Jim’s family, resulted in endless chatter and laughter usually fueled by drinking. Jim and I called that the “chat factor”. For me, at times, it became a little hard to deal with. I would crave “Lew Time”. Time to ponder and just to be.

We basically never left Jim’s parent’s house during visits there.. So, in the many visits to Paso Robles, we never once visited Cal Poly San Luis Obispo where Jim went to school. We never saw the coast, or visited any coastal towns in San Luis Obispo like Moro Bay or San Luis Obispo.

I have never seen those cities.

#journaling #gay relationship #gay friends #aging friends #aging parents #family visits need for solitude #11/11/2001

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whooshingnoise · 9 months

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Okay, as an elder millenial who is and has been HEAVILY involved in her aging parents' care-

They need workshops for this kind of thing.

When I was graduating high school in the early 00s, I had to attend multiple workshops on financing college (didn't understand a lick of it; didn't matter, still had to do it).

But now that my mother is a senior citizen, new information about services for which she's eligible trickle in every other week. She's not equipped to do this herself. My father wasn't equipped, and now he's gone. So I'm doing it.

But if it improves the rest of her life, I should do it, and there should be more public knowledge about it.

#elder millenials #emotional support eldest daughter #aging parents #grief

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volkerhoffmann · 2 years

Video

youtube

the easiest way to administer eyedrops - caregiving tips

#youtube #remedic #caregivingtips #eldercare #seniorcare #seniorliving #caregiving #homecare #eyecare #eye care #contact lenses #contactlenses #arthritis #shorts #reels #aging parents #independent living

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performing-personhood · 1 year

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Any other former children wanna talk about the things our parents told us that we wouldn't realize was pretty messed up/completely totally incorrect until we were adults??

I'll go first:

My mom, the stable one of my parental set and eldest of six irish-catholic kids, used to say "After the age of 25 you're not allowed to blame your parents for your life anymore! You're an adult now and you have to take responsibility for your own life."

Which, like, sounds rgood in a vacuum? And is maybe even, to give the lady some credit, a teensy-weensy bit true? (Especially when my helpless father is taken into consideration.) Because assuming responsibility for one's own bullshit is a super important thing to do if one ever wants to properly perform stability and independence.

The problem here is that this logic completely ignores the generational trauma, while both absolving the guilty parties and placing the blame for lingering emotional damage onto the traumatized person. And that is fucked up.

Yall. I'm three years deep into weekly AEDP therapy and I am still learning that [refers to note cards] "It Is Okay To Be Upset About Your Childhood And Hold Your Parents Responsible For Your Lingering Emotional Damage Even If Your Parents Tried Their Best And Were Generally Upstanding People."

Repeat after me: It's okay to be angry at your parents for how things turned out. It is okay to be low-contact or no-contact with those same people who tried their best, especially if they won't change despite your best efforts to change with them.

Because guess what buckaroo? That's what taking responsibility for your adult life looks like: it looks like protecting yourself from people who would do you harm. Whether or not the people intend to or willfully inflict harm on you does not factor into this equation.

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steelfeathersnn · 1 year

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Taking care of an elderly parent is very tiring.

#personal #aging parents

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theworldoffostering · 8 months

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I am so sad.

Life moves forward.

We met with the funeral home today.

My brother and his family were supposed to fly home from their vacation today, but their flight was canceled due to the hurricane.

I talked to an omsbudsperson today. They are not convinced I can drop Ms. 6 from my policy.

We had back to school night tonight. Kids needed to drop supplies and some needed to get school photos done. It didn’t go well. Things with DH are strained. His parents sent a card today. I sent it back return to sender.

I have no idea how I’m going to get my classes up and running by Monday.

Ms. 6 texted DH today to ask if I was mad at her. She also asked him if she could come to the funeral.

#aging parents #funeral #death #death of a parent #adoption #parenting teens

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rainyfestivalsweets · 2 years

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8/4/22

Long fucking day! Worked 10+ . Many fires.

Talked to my work BFF on the phone and she was talking some serious anti gay shit. Talking about grooming kids, and "it's an agenda," pro FL governor, and anti CRT.

What the actual fuck??

This person, who knows all about my gay and is bisexuality herself is spouting this shit like it is the gods honest truth. 🙌 It was almost like she was quoting from some mail my mom got.

Are you fucking kidding me?

So.... I am about to check into my diversity class and talk about it.

But people. When you hear this shit, see where it is sourced. These super right wing groups are saying all sorts of stuff. It is all propaganda. They have an infinite ♾️ budget for mailing stuff for their "grassroots" campaigns.

Also- don't know who needs to hear this, but being LGBT does not make people pedophiles. Pedophiles are predators, obviously. Is that bad? Yes! But stereotyping a whole group of people that have legitimately been victimized their whole lives for being gay as yet another dangerous thing is irrational and hateful.

Most pedophiles are male predators. Statistically, most of their crime is hetero. So MF stop it! ✋️

We are gay, we live in the midwest. We know that our chances of finding a long term mate are slim to none. Stop persecuting us for this stuff that is made up by a propaganda machine.

What is the gay agenda?

To live our lives in peace! Find someone we like and have some dates. Maybe laugh a out how lonely we have been. Talk about how our parents threw us out if the house when they first found out.

We live in the midwest. We know we are going to die alone.

We know that many of us with be caring for our aging republican parents, who will still introduce us to the opposite sex in the hopes the gay has phased away. Our siblings, awash in hoards of kids, will love their lives as we try to turn away from the hateful shit our parents still do, even as we care for them in their later years.

We are already MF sad. It never goes away.

#politics #lgbt #right wing idiots #sadness #midwest #stupid i have to deal with #aging parents #healthy lifestyle #emotions #the gay agenda #yes we already know we are going to die alone #elder care #midwest politics #crt #processing emotions #propaganda #right wing women #right wing propaganda #right wing watch

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atissi · 3 months

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i don't really like when people say dungeon meshi is accidentally good autistic representation, because while i understand not wanting to make conclusions without explicit confirmation from the author, there's always the weird assumption that non-western authors somehow don't know about things like neurodivergency/queerness/etc. (on top of the assumptions that east asian authors are somehow more naive or oblivious to "western" social issues).

given that dungeon meshi started being published in 2014, it's not really a "work belonging to its times"—it's as contemporary as any other media we discuss on this site, which means it should be fair to assume it engages with contemporary topics (and at the very least, you shouldn't say that the representation is accidental with so much confidence)

but anyways, the chapter "perfect communication" in ryoko kui's "terrarium in a drawer" is some of the most straightforward autistic representation I've seen, and from now on I'm going to assume that laios's character writing is absolutely intentional in that regard:

#beepbeep.txt #dungeon meshi #ryoko kui #this is me trying to explain h/ollow knight lore #also yayyyy reading new things. chapter 18 'spring' is basically UFUT if you squint (sorry for the jumpscare if you know UFUT)#but the last two pages were such a surprising gut punch....it's hard not to see it as a metaphor for both the experience of raising childre #and of taking care of your parents in old age....aughh....

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pwrn51 · 2 months

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The Journey as Entrepreneur and Caregiver

Tune in to a captivating audio interview as Betsy Wurzel hosts Sheron Mingo Y, a dynamic entrepreneur celebrated for her multifaceted roles as a cookbook author, creator of the “Vegan Delectable“ series, book coach, speaker, and founder of SuperMementosYea, LLC. Sheron’s entrepreneurial prowess is matched only by her commitment to caregiving, as she tirelessly tends to her mother’s needs…

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#Advocacy.#Aging Parents #Authors #Betsy Wurzel #Book Coach #Caregivers #Cookbook Author #Cooking #Creative writing #Dementia #Food #National Caregiver&039;s Day #Presidential Award #Roger B. Dooley Award #Sheron Mingo Y #Vegan

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sadowlswriting · 4 months

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I often wonder if, as a child, my parents looked at me and hoped I'd need to hold onto their hand a little longer; hoped I wouldn't be brave enough just yet to let go of the training wheels; and hoped that I'd need them when I'm scared.

And I wonder now if they think anything similar to that now that I have let go of some things, that I do things for myself now, yet I wonder if they miss it if they miss my tiny hands clinging onto the bottom of their clothes, if they miss reminding me to slow down when running.

I still get reminded to bring a coat when it's cold, to be careful on the streets, and to look both ways when I cross roads. Parents never stop worrying about their kids, but kids realise as they get older that they worry about their parents too. And so I start to warn my parents of the things they warn me about.

-Owl.

#writing #poetry #poem #confessional poetry #words #short poetry #childhood #growing older #aging parents

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