whomst in the Trojan war is a big spoon and whomst is a little spoon

NOW WE'RE TALKING

big spoons: helen (iykyk), agamemenon, diomedes, telamonian ajax, hektor, aeneas, helenus, patroclus, antilochus, nestor (u love that image in ur head), teucer, sthenelus, automedon.

little spoons: menelaus (shut up), achilles, locrian ajax, paris, andromache, kassandra, deiphobus, odysseus (he just can't win. he's smaller than everyone. he will be spooned and he will shut up about it), neoptolomus, eurymedon.

some random moments from Paris the musical

Agamemnon : no need to rant or shout Patroclus : *shouting* who's shouting?!

Paris : ooh sweet aphrodite Helen : *really deep sigh* can you just shut up and listen?

Ajax : I vote for Ulysses! Ulysse : Oh no. Ulysse : you really shouldn't

Agamemnon : *rolls the dice* Agamemenon : Eleven! Patroclus : that's a fucking d10

*returning to Troy* Priam : welcome home won, how well was the simple misson i entrusted you? Paris : haha funny story Aeneas : he fucked up real bad (the whole song is so funny)

Paris : *singing dramatically his inspiring ballad What Could Go Wrong* in the background : *Aeneas and the crew screaming his pretty ass to come down for 2 WHOLE MINUTES* Paris : don't worry, what could go wrong haha :) *falls immediately after*

Agamemnon : we need to find a fool… YOU, you are perfect Sinon : *drunk* wat? Sinon : Thank you, Oh thank you Aren't you a good murderer :/ Sinon : well if i die, i will do it in style *start a silly musical number* (Sinon is the second most hated character after Paris TvT)

*at the end of the war* Paris : I think the gods must be angry with me

I just recreated the first ever meme, made by the infamous Agamemenon shortly before he took the ancient city of Troy...

People think that if you like classical history you should be conservative and prudish but the truth is that we're all disaster gay whores and so were all the people we studied

TAGAMEMNON TJDJKSKDKD THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS

THANK YOU

I FOUND IT A COUPLE YEARS AGO IT'S AN ACTIVE TAG HERE ON TUMBLR AND THE CONTENT IN IT IS G R E A T

PLS LOOK ITUP IF YOU LIKE ANCIENT GREEK AND ROMAN STUFF

y’know i can always tell when 15th march is coming up bc all the classics blogs start posting “kill caesar” memes & idk it’s kinda comforting lol

Travel Poetry: Keystone Gate

Travel Poetry: Keystone Gate

Writing travel poetry whenever I go somewhere new helps keep those memories fresh in my mind, whether I visited just a year ago or five years past. For this edition of travel poetry, I’m sharing my piece about the Agamemenon Keystone Gate in Mycanae, Greece from my trip in 2019.

Travel Poetry for Mycanae, Greece

Ancient stone ruins hold a reverent magic that transport you for a second back…

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                                       𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐘𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐒.

— NAME : achilles.

— AGE : 18-20.

— GENDER : m/nb.

— FACE : utp.

You heard it whispered, how your mother annointed you with ambrosia & threw you into the fire. Her wish was to burn away what is mortal in her son, let only godliness remain. It's a nice bedtime story. Even as a child you recognized how useful it will prove in the future, instilling fear where it had to, reverence where it served. Yet Thetis would never get close to a flame. Neither, really, would she hold you long enough for it. She used to suffer horribly at the mere sight of smoke, the sensation of human touch—her skin would crackle and fester like boils. By the time she abandoned you, you understood the ghastly necessity that moved her. For a while, there was nothing inside you except that hollow understanding; a charm swallowing up ambition, eagerness, joy. Your father thought, thus ends the prophecy of great Achilles. And around that time, Patroclus rode into Thessaly—they reached you by land, not by sea, never again the sea. They rooted you into earth itself, an arrow of bronze pinning down your spirit. You grew around that arrow, that stake. You were not yet sixteen when you rose to take command of the Myrmidons, Patroclus at your shoulder; you were not yet eighteen when you joined Agamemenon to plunder the world. Your mother beseeched, wailed it will be your end. You thought she understood the bargain. What is mortal in you is the best part; what is mortal in you is of Patroclus.

                                                    𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

✹ PATROCLUS  —  You cannot recall which one of you had the idea to bring the Myrmidons to Mycenae, bathe them all in treasure & triumph. Then again, it is difficult to trace these things, these forgotten splinters of individuality ; where their plan ends and yours begins, where your fingers become your own again, which sighs belong to you, to them. The threads of life, the marrows of your bodies, were braided together long ago.

✹ THETIS  —  From all the prophecies that loomed about you, this sealed you mother's fate: Achilles, the child who will surpass their father. She used to sneer, a raw, ugly thing, marring her beauty like a war-wound, and add, the easiest deed of all. You loved her with every bone, but how this disdain hurt ! Whatever was made of man, born of man, she loathed ;desire, weakness, need. You worry you inherited that more than you admit.

✹ ARES  —  You would need an abacus, you reckon, to tally all the Gods you angered. After Apollo ( who, honestly, should learn how to lose a match ) Ares is merely the next addition. Something about slighting their daughter, Penthesilea ? You dimly remember a spar with the Queen of Amazons, that eternal patron of underdogs, who bade you keep the peace in Sparta. It's said you laughed in their face; truly, you might have.

✹ BRISEIS  —  On the voyage to Sparta, one of your best warriors, Ajax, caught ill. It is no happenstance people called you the sharp-edged healer, whose spear point butchers as well as mends. But since Apollo withdraw their favor, you require a better hand. Briseis was there, a slip of a dress in the Trojan envoy, invisible but for her brilliance. Ajax was cured in a day. If you had such a sword, you think, you could put it to very good use.

This skeleton is currently TAKEN BY MALI.

Agamemenon. I might have mispelled it

Obtained my Bachelor's and Master's degree, some people said I wouldn't make it, but I know I would so I did it.

And my Japanese certification N5 (the easiest level), I always missed 2-3 points until I passed with 89 (the minimun to pass that level is 80).

Accuracy of myth and history in Fate is... an iffy topic. Sometimes they fuck it up on purpose and sometimes they fuck it up unintentionally. This can go either way. But before I dive deep into that; we'll have to go through what's been establish since the very first entry in the series

Fame and reputation matter A LOT. Heracles is probably the best example of this. Not only was this guy the most heroic of heroes in the western world, he is also arguably the most famous mythological hero in all of the modern world. Hence; why it's been stated time and time again why he's such a goddamn beast no matter where he is. It's because he's MOTHERFUCKING HERACLES. His reputation of being a hero amongst heroes is boosts his parameters. Same with Achilles. I remember him as a bitch baby who sat out most of the Trojan war because Agamemenon is also a bitch and cucked Achilles(Everyone was a bit of an asshole in that war). The only reason he got involved JUST when he was going to go home to mom was because his totally non-homoerotic life partner got jobbed by Hector.

but in fate? He's a bro. None of that shit comes up. Hell he hasn't even brought up said non-homoerotic life partner. He isn't some bitch baby whose selfish and wrathful like I know of him. He's also a hero amongst hero. And that's cuz people perceive him that way.

This is why servants are stronger in their own cultural spheres. People know about them. Their fame and reputation matter. And they also shape who they are when they're summoned.

And I can't think of a better example than Lancer Vlad from fate apocrypha. Vlad isn't a vampire. Period. He never was. He never has been. Historically, he was known as the impaler. But he was also the modern origin of what we came to know as the Vampire. And so, that got attached to his summoning. He absolutely LOATHES this fact though.

Ya'll gotta remember. We're not summoning the actual historical figure itself. We're essentially summoning a copy of what was recorded by the grail. And if the collective will of humanity remembers someone in a certain way, despite them not actually being that... they'll be summoned with how they were remembered. Hell, the mystery of things can sometimes even affect how the fuck they're summoned.

jack the ripper from FSF is literally a mystery within itself. Just a bunch of rumours on who the hell Jack was. Not accurate on who Jack the Ripper was, but a crystallization of the legend.

But then again, they can royally fuck up like Dantes who has... poison flames... and can do dumb shit like kill vampires and... the Monte Christo treasure is some magical bullshit... and then there's Ozy... who... is... i don't want to get into it but Ozy is a dumb servant, period. There's a billion genderbends too when there's 0 basis for any of it in history or lore. Hell, this goddamn franchise was built on top of the corpse of King Arthur

sometimes they do just fuck up like that for some waifu/husbando bait. but to me, personally, i try to keep an open mind about why a servant is like that before i make up my mind if i dislike them or not. but yeah; there is a lot of stupid shit in this franchise. i guess that's the price to pay when you're trying to harmonize a bunch of contradicting cultures while balancing the anime bullshit.

then again, i dislike certain servants for other reasons outside of lore. seriously, fuck Ozy and Dantes-

I NEED TO STOP BEING SALTY BUT WHATEVER

this was a spontaneous rant by Kinglsey

@tibgracchus replied: memelaus and agamemenon

don’t forget clytememestra

OK, so, I was wondering why the Illiad and the Odyssey are remembered and taught so much, and it struck me why, and it’s all because of a single character:

Agamemenon.

(bonus joke; what do you call it when someone is sucked into a hurricane? a vore-tex)

Patroclus: I've decided that I am, in fact, a snack. It's just that nobody's hungry

Achilles, under his breath: I'm starving

Who is "aging meninist"??

fuckin Agamemnon. is that how u spell it? anyways more like agaMEMEnon amiright