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scoups4lyfe · 1 year

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PART 2

Out of all of Ian's songs, "So Beautiful" is one of my absolute favorites, especially the MV because of [again] the visuals and how accurately they convey what being Bipolar is like or what going through an episode is like.

Often I have the hardest times knowing I'm in an episode (until it's escalated significantly) because I go from being "unable" or "meh" to being able, and --like the quote above;

I can't tell if I've entered into a mood episode, or if I'm generally just having a good day.

You'll see this in a lot of my journal entries, but lack of control is major when (in my experience) it comes to being Bipolar.

Having no control over your own mental stability is "maddening"...for lack of a better term.

Around three years ago, I watched SKAM France and began to wonder if I was Bipolar.

Seeing Eliot, all I could think was: "Yeah that's me."

But since I didn’t know if I actually had it — I started mood journaling — and eventually I went to a psychiatrist (don’t get it twisted, I went for depression LOL — and because I was seeking to find an ADHD evaluation), and yeah. I was diagnosed with both ADHD and Bipolar.

Now — you might ask: “How can you NOT know or realize you have bipolar disorder?” And ohooooo my friend, let me TELL you.

— Depressive Episodes—

In Bipolar (though no one experiences it the same way — it’s a spectrum, but there are some general commonalities), there tend to be more depressive episodes than manic or hypomanic episodes.

“Although mania and hypomania specifically identify bipolar illness, depression is of major concern in patients with bipolar disorder, because depressive symptoms are far more frequent than manic symptoms and most suicides occur during the depressive phase.” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1324957/)

In this academic article about the burden of bipolar depression within bipolar disorder, it shares studies particularly on how Bipolar

Depression significantly impacts Bipolar patients.

People with Bipolar usually seek help when they’re in a depressive phase; and are therefore often misdiagnosed as MDD — Major Depressive Disorder. The problem with this is that MDD treatment, usually going onto antidepressants, can send the Bipolar patient into acute mania, mixed states, and/or rapid cycling states. (I will define these in a second.)

...

“Bipolar disorder has a negative impact on virtually every facet of a patient's life, with depressive symptoms having a particularly strong effect on patient well-being. Depressive symptoms predominate over hypomanic/manic symptoms in the courses of both bipolar I and bipolar II disorders. In prospective studies of the natural history of bipolar disorder, bipolar I patients reported experiencing depression for 31.9% of weeks and hypomanic/manic symptoms for only 8.9%, whereas bipolar II patients reported depression for 50.3% of weeks and hypomanic/ manic symptoms for only 1.3%.”

“Similar findings on the prevalence of depressive symptoms were reported in a study of 258 outpatients admitted to the Stanley Foundation Bipolar Network. Approximately 25% of these patients reported being ill for more than three quarters of the year, with a mean of 214 days depressed, and 40% were intermittently ill, with a mean of 120 days depressed. An overview of findings from the Stanley Foundation Bipolar Network concluded that, despite treatment, bipolar outpatients remain significantly affected by their illness, with depressive symptoms posing a greater problem for effective treatment than mania.”

“Over 60% of patients in the Stanley Center Bipolar Disorder Registry were unemployed, despite the fact that 30% had completed college.”

“Termination of mood stabilizers may also have negative effects in patients with bipolar disorder. In published studies of patients with bipolar disorder who discontinued lithium treatment, suicide rates rose 20-fold and affective illness recurred in 67% of patients during the first year after discontinuation of lithium. Termination of treatment with other mood stabilizers, including the atypical antipsychotics, may be associated with negative outcomes.”

These are quotes taken from the same source quoted above in red.

[Right.]

So — for me, since my onset of Bipolar was around puberty (late middle school; early high school), added in with the emotional dysregulation of ADHD, my mood episodes were something I had gotten used to, and that I thought were normal. (LOL.)

Plus, I didn’t realize or know what hypomania and mania was; ergo—I only really recognized the major depressive episodes. “Ah, everyone gets depressed <33.” ←My bonkers thought process.

I didn’t realize my intensity of depression was something that people didn’t normally experience — in fact, I remember talking to my little sister, and she told me she barely ever got depressed, and when she did it was just for a short period of time. The ‘surprised pikachu’ meme would be apt here, LOL!

My wake-up call that it wasn’t normal was a tv show (SKAM — the french one; though I have watched the OG one.) that had an accurate portrayal of Bipolar Disorder in one of the main characters. The way they went from happy elation; that flirty feeling of being on-top of the world, to the fall into a major depressive episode.

That depression was all too familiar to me. Literally looked the EXACT fvcking same.

...

Three best portrayals of what my sudden depressive episodes look like:

[1] Mr. Robot — Eliot bawling his eyes out in episode 1. (20:00 Minutes in Timestamp)

(Link clip example here)

[2] Eliot Demury — Skam France (And Even — OG SKAM)

[3] Ian Gallagher, Shameless (U.S)

— (Linked clip example here)

...

I don’t know how to exactly describe it. Sometimes there’s just this overflow of emotion that makes me either cry or laugh or both. But mostly….it’s the apathy. Nothing matters. Nothing. The reason I don’t really care anymore about others’ opinions is because once I felt that apathy — that feeling of emptiness; of not caring — because life was nothing; I was nothing. So anyone’s negative opinions of me didn’t matter, I didn’t care about myself, so whatever they said ‘was probably right’ ←in my head; but it was as good as dust to me because nothing and no one could beat the hate I had for myself, OR the sh*t I was telling myself.

It’s fvcked up, I know. Even more fvcked up — is that there would be days I couldn’t get out of bed for a week. I would lay in bed. I wouldn't eat, it would be rare if I got up to use the bathroom— and any responsibility I had, I would not attend to — and you couldn’t make me. I would sleep 17-18 hours a day. Tired of everything, I would have no energy.

I ended up losing a lot of weight in college because of this LOL. I also fainted because of this (rip). When I could function enough to eat, go to class, I would still be empty and fatigued. I would go to class, eat, and then spend the rest of my time sleeping.

Even in high school, I would have an exorbitant amount of “sick days.” And when I did go to school, when I got home I would do my (1) chore and then sleep. School, chore, sleep. School, chore, sleep. It was to the point that my parents thought I was on drugs because all I would do was sleep. LOL.

And that depression would last for months. If it lasted two weeks or less that would be lucky. Anyways, there was a period of time (a few months after I graduated college) that I was normal. I felt normal, I acted normal, I had normal amounts of energy.

I remember telling my friends that (because I made a psychiatrist appointment) I wouldn’t tell them (the psychiatrist) about my depression because “Bah, it’s not that bad. I can sleep it off 🤪.” Anyways — I suddenly (and for no reason) fell into a depressive episode, and when that hit I was like, “Yeah I need to go tell the psychiatrist and get this figured out.”

I actually started treatment for depression before ADHD. And my depression was so bad, the antidepressants just barely made me functionable. Literally could not tell if they were working and my depression was that bad, or if they genuinely didn’t work. Anyways; yes they WERE working, my depression was just that bad. LOL.

(TW: Suicidal Ideation)

When I get low like this, if I start spiraling (which often happens) I get to the point where I think, constantly: “I don’t want to wake up anymore.” Sometimes I would even pray not to wake up anymore. I had crippling fatigue — so there was no energy to hurt myself. Which is why most of my mixed episodes are so dangerous.

Mostly though, when I’m down / dipping, I sleep. I just let myself do nothing, and sleep. Until it leaves, however long that may take.

I've talked about my experience being manic a few times.

Here I talked about being euphoric

Mania Episodes

I have had both euphoric AND irritated mania. And I have got to say — I liked the euphoric one; but FVCK the other one.

Mixed Episodes

Ok. Mixed episodes — where one has energy (manic symptoms) but irritation or depression / fatigue (depressive symptoms); basically it's a mix of both mania and depression.

For me — this is when I get into the most dangerous states.

Most of the time I’m so tired it actually hurts. It feels like the fatigue is killing me; like I’ve sunken into the dark circles under my eyes. Except the moment I lay down? BOOM! Wide fvcking awake.

The fatigue doesn’t leave, nor does the pain, but there’s this energy buzzing through me and it quickly turns into irritation because all I want to do is SLEEP, but I can’t! I fvcking can’t; and it kills me.

Theses are the times where any passive suicidal ideation become more active thoughts. Mostly about prescription drugs and overdosing. (Or things like drinking windex.)

Anyways —

I don’t ever act on these thoughts because I do like living (thank you very much >:o ); but that doesn’t mean those kinds of thoughts don’t happen. In fact ---a whole spiraling intrusive thought chain decides to party in my head until I DO fall asleep, or find something to distract me. (Not a fun time.)

First — let’s just get this out of the way; Bipolar — aka the episodes, whether depressive, manic, or mixed — , are not caused by purely external events. It’s literal chemicals in the brain playing limbo with your mental health.

Now, can external events trigger an episode? Absolutely.

In fact, sleep is one of the strongest triggers for people with Bipolar disorder.

And I quote:

“ — It is essential that people with bipolar disorder practice good sleep hygiene. Ideally, you should go to sleep and wake up in a regular, predictable pattern and avoid activities that interfere with this schedule, including staying up late, drinking alcohol, and consuming caffeine. In order to promote a restful and regular sleep, create a ritual for yourself to get your mind and body prepared for bed. If you struggle to sleep, be sure to talk to your doctor about it so you can identify whether these sleep disturbances are a symptom of a mood episode and gain control over your sleep cycle before it triggers mood switching.”

— bridgestorecovery.com ‘Understanding Bipolar Disorder Trigger And How to Prevent Them’

I have stated this before here and here

But blackouts can happen when you're in a manic state; these last few months I've had at least three black outs, spanning from a day, to a couple of days.

/End of part 2 <333 /

[Prev] [Next]

PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7] , [8], [9]

And of course the MV:

youtube

Visuals of a Depressive Episode: (1), (2)

Journal Entries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

PPT Essay Extras: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

#part 2 #after this i'll liveblog some more #lmao #seeing as it's 10 minutes from midnight #my thougts #bipolaire #bipolar disorder #manic depression #actually bipolar #mental health #neurodiversity #neurodivergencies #dpr ian #dpr we gang gang #christian yu #fvcking moodswings ⚡️✌️#a scoup of life 🔫🦆#Youtube

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cookinguptales · 8 months

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I'm dying, I had another fandom breakup several years ago where I also poured my frustration into a deeply pornographic fic.

The main differences are:

different fandom, obviously

this was actually one of the last fics I ever wrote for that fandom, it really was a kiss off. the only fics I posted after it were just me finishing up some prior obligations.

I actually wrote it and posted it, as opposed to the pornographic vent fic I was writing for wwdits that I set aside for now.

I APPARENTLY POSTED IT TO TUMBLR FIRST?

I know this because someone just reblogged it (and said some really kind things, thank you ;;) and I had completely forgotten that I'd been so deep in my fit of pique that I was like "well this is vent fic that I wrote to cope with my frustration towards canon, not REAL fic, so I should post it to tumblr, not AO3."

At first I was just laughing over the sheer timing of it all, someone digging up this ancient post with like 25 notes from many years ago the exact same week that I'm having angst over the fandom I replaced the old one with, but then I actually clicked on the post in my notifications and was like.

wait.

did I.... post a sixteen-thousand-word fic to tumblr?

I DID. AND PEOPLE READ IT??? like that's the fucking wild part, that people were willing to sit down and read a fucking sixteen-thousand-word fic under a read more on tumblr. people were so strong back then.

(thankfully, I was convinced to crosspost it to AO3 a few days later, which actually made the fucker readable.)

the sheer ridiculousness of my tantrum (and my weird internal classification for what fic "deserved" to be on AO3 vs. what should just quietly be forgotten on tumblr) has me laughing. which I think was actually kind of needed, haha. we all need to laugh at our own fandom angst sometimes.

if I do end up finishing and posting the wwdits ventfic, I promise I'll actually post it on AO3. lmao

#writing liveblogging #kind of wild how my nandermo sex pollen/potion fic morphed over the course of the season in my head #from a silly 'oh we thought we were dosed with sex pollen so we've been fucking for two weeks but it actually wore off after an hour' fic #to a fic about what you do when you realize the truth about your relationship #and what it means to hold a secret that will destroy everything you love #(i.e. mirroring Guillermo finding out they've been fucking because they're into each other not because they were drugged #and the vampire bite secret)#and finally becoming a fic about struggling to forgive someone who wronged you even if they didn't mean to #and how knowing what you don't want isn't the same thing as knowing what you do want #and ultimately a lot of makeup sex #and a relationship that is severely damaged but perhaps salvageable #I HAVE GROWN... AND SO HAS THIS FIC... lmao #but I realized I was just stressing myself out more so instead I drank some pumpkin beer and wrote meta for another show #and downloaded phoenix wright #and here we are #maybe I'll finish it once I've chilled out some and maybe I won't #that's life I guess

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piedoesnotequalpi · 2 months

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The men tell all, featuring the return of the villains

#I'm making progress #i just feel dead inside sometimes #also work is picking up and i have the mini bang to work on #feeling good about writing that happened today though #after i vote i might write some more #or I'll fold laundry and liveblog the bachelor lol #bachelorette au #isabel.tex #my writing

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pygian-weapon · 1 year

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my she/her Rom agenda every day gets stronger and stronger

#oh what's that? a ds9 livereact continuation? after months? it's more likely than you think #life has been slapping me every day and tonight I'll be very sporadic in my comments cause I can watch only while doing some work rn #but I'll be watching 👀#season 7 here we continue #ds9 liveblog

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dee-is-for-lots-of-things · 2 years

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THE GAIMAN BOOKS OF MAGIC IS SO GOOD

#i will have more coherent thoughts later BUT it slaps so hard i love it #i am ABSOLUTELY getting a physical copy at some point #comicc #spinoff #(kinda)#look i count it in my sandman readthrough cause sandman characters have cameos AND a relaunch was in the sandman universe thing #it'll be interesting to see how the ongoing series works actually. i assume it doesnt have the trenchcoat brigade in it ?#anyway that'll be fun #since that starts during the kindly ones i'll probably read it after sandman #alongside the dreaming probably #idk i've got them all in a spreadsheet because. autism. but i'm making up the actual order as i go lol #lily liveblogs

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foxstens · 1 year

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not to be a purist or anything but heck ac2 was so much better

i have figured out in the meantime that brotherhood does have notoriety AND THERE’S NO EASY WAY TO GET RID OF IT. in ac2 you could just wear the right cape and rest easy outside of some story events but here to unlock the capes you either gotta rebuild the entirety of rome (which is time and money) or find all the 101 borgia flags (which is time) - this was one of my favourite parts of ac2 since it made the game so much more chill. but here i gotta watch my damn notoriety and rip posters down like a peasant

and while the restricted areas where you gotta kill one dude burn down a tower and then rebuild shit are cool, there’s so many of them and they’re so fucking hard because sometimes the one dude is protected by every other dude in the fucking area AND I DO NOT HAVE MUCH HEALTH AND AMOR DIES QUICKLY AND I CAN ONLY HEAL 5 TIMES. ok i have gotten a lot better at fighting, or maybe the combat in this game is just more responsive idk, like here you can kick the enemy and the blocking/deflecting/parrying whatever actually works really well. but the smoke bomb effect is way toned down and the guards are like, smarter and i do not have cool weapons yet. I DONT EVEN HAVE THE DOUBLE HIDDEN BLADE I CAN’T EVEN DO THE SUPER HIGH JUMP I FEEL SO WEAK.

the parkouring has been working so far though and im getting to know the city, the bank is making money at a steady pace and i’ve also been able to access some repressed memories. like some of the sync requirements are bonkers but some i did without even paying attention so it works out somehow. but they’re annoying to go through tbh. i still don’t like rome. and the music still hasn’t impressed me, i feel like i’ve only heard three tracks. I FUCKING HATE THIS CITY oh my god. but the game says there’s 24 viewpoints which???? ac2 had like over 70 what the shit. i think they’re just more spread-out so you don’t have to climb a tower every two minutes but. i liked hunting the viewpoints. and here some of them are under borgia rule so you gotta burn down the tower and you don’t even get to see the sync and hear the cool music. nyeh.

i’m not sure how i feel about the story yet, idk if im super satisfied with how ezio’s written here. but im only on sequence 3 and if we go by the story-related stuff this game is super short actually, sooooo. idk remains to be seen

but i still hate rome. IT’S SO BAD. IT’S TERRIBLE I HATE IT. since there’s so many people everywhere and you can’t just use the roofs all the time because of the wack ass architecture and all the ruins, it’s just a chore getting anywhere, nothing like the chill experience i had with ac2. i mean it makes sense bc its /rome/ but it feels so much less modern when compared to florence or venice. even the sound design has failed to impress me so far despite how amazing it was in ac2, idk why. and i hate that there’s no nice water you can just take a swim in. in florence when i was stressed i just jumped on some roofs and then felt fine. in venice when i was stressed i just took a swam or rowed myself somewhere and then felt fine. or i chilled in tuscany for a while. but here there’s nowhere where you can do that. even the hideout is just. i dont like it that much bc there’s no one else there. i mean this game does have water but there’s little of it and it’s ugly. it has like two boats and no treasures on the boats. venice i miss you. also also why the heck do /i/ have to spend money and time to rebuild rome I DONT EVEN LIKE IT. why can’t i hire ppl to do it for me is2g

sooooo right now im of the opinion that this game shouldn’t exist. gameplay-wise it’s good in some areas and disappointing in many other, and story-wise everything that has happened so far could have been avoided if the ending of ac2 was a bit different.

by the way this game also has 100 feathers and a gajillion treasure chests, and i seem to have a hard time finding them. of the feathers i’ve found 2 within the first like 10 minutes of the game, and since then nothing... which is bizarre. like i’m not looking for them specifically but i tend to have an eye for secrets especially when i run through the same areas a million times. but i guess it’s the shitty architecture due to which i prefer to traverse the city on the ground as opposed to high up, and feathers tend to be like really high in very specific spots. haven’t had a lot of luck with the borgia flags either despite there also being 101 of them, probably for the same reason. /and/ for the same reason the treasure chests are 50% more awkward to look for now. not having to fight guards for treasure chests is nice tho, i’ll give it that.

like i don’t hate the game. there’s parts i appreciate. but i of course expected to like it as much if not more than the first game, and seeing as that’s not the case so far, makes playing it a bit of a struggle.

#my posts #gameblogging #liveblogging ac #read more #long post #my rambles #my rants #i know it's not fair that i keep comparing them but heckkkk #i've also decided i def won't play the other games in the series outside of this trilogy #bc they do not sound like i'd like them #especially the ones with rpg mechanics #but also all of the others bc i just don't like the settings or how they look #just don't wanna #even the first one is like #i'd like to experience it since it started the series and apparently it has a mysterious atmosphere #but apparently altair is kind of a blank slate and it's repetitive in some ways #i don't know if i'll be able to appreciate it after playing the games that came after u know #just hhhhhhhh #i really miss the cast of the first game #half of it appears here but half doesnt and :(#however there was one tiny memory that was about ezio back in florence when he was young #before ac2 even happened #and i nearly fucking cried when i got to walk for like 2 minutes in florence #:((((((((((((

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baltears · 2 years

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aw he's crying 😭

#ok im not immune to teddy. i am not immune.#he's not exactly my bestie but he's got some crunchy little weirdo feelings in there #I do find him a fun character. i guess it's more his fans that i don't care for so much lol and like specifically their... read on him #like to me hes more of a tragic character than anything because hes literally programmed to be the satellite love interest for someone else #which is just a sad and unfair existence isn't it. like hes the only character whose cornerstone is always right in front of him #everyone else has more flexibility. they only have memories or feelings or ideas to go on but everything teddy does is constrained #by the immediate real time reality of everything dolores does #like there is very much an inherent power imbalance there. i wont lie and say thats why i dont ship it but it does make me feel bad for him #esp bc she kind of can't help but take advantage of it. like that's what their dynamic is that's what he's for he's there For Her #anyway. this is reminding me that i do actually like him i just. don't really like him in the way that other people seem to #i think I'll probably like him a lot more after the show ends and i can see his entire trajectory as a character #btw if i sound insufferable im sorry 😔 this is a liveblog these are top of my head thoughts #if i had to write a meta essay about teddy i would be much nicer than this #ww4 liveblogging

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thewertsearch · 3 days

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For flashes, I'll actually get out a pen and paper, and write out my reaction in shorthand. When the flash is over, I transcribe my notes into LibreOffice, and then watch it a couple more times to grab some images. I'll also add any thoughts which occur to me while I'm editing the post.

I've tried a couple of ways to liveblog flashes, and this turned out to be the best. In a way, you get the best of both worlds, because you're seeing both my immediate reactions, as well as any insights I've gleaned after thinking about things for a couple of minutes.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #asks #act 5.2

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adobe-outdesign · 1 month

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Kung Fu Panda 4 Thoughts/Liveblog Thing

Just caught this at the theater for a grand total of five whole dollars, so I thought I'd do some quick opinions while it's fresh.

Non-spoiler opinion: It was Okay(TM), but the movies were considerably stronger as a trilogy. It's worth seeing one (1) time if you're a KFP fan (and really, who isn't), but I wouldn't bother paying full price for it or anything

SPOILERS FOR ALL 4 MOVIES UNDER THE CUT:

A list of things that slap:

The animation is stunning and fast-paced. Really loved the use of Chinese-style paint brush strokes to accentuate the action

Also I'll talk about the 5 later but I also really liked the animation change when describing where they are—all KFP movies have at least one animation shift and I'm glad this one kept up with it

Some of the fight scenes were super good, I liked the one that uses the tilting bar on a cliff in particular

(side note: the Missing Link did something similar, just on a ship. Go watch the Missing Link)

The Chameleon served straight cunt the entire time she was on screen and I kind of loved (almost) everything about her. Character design was incredible, voice was perfect, palace design was amazing, abilities were sick

Also the way she rides up chilling in a golden tree branch of all things? Fellas, we have no choice but to stan

Also I just appreciate the choice to both do a female villain for a change and to get a reptile in here after having only mammals and one (1) bird as villains previously

Speaking of character design there were a few really good ones in there, like a pangolin that moves Sonic the Hedgehog-style, a cool looking female boar, and a bunch of Komodo dragon henchmen. Good stuff

The jokes were a very mixed bag for me, some hit and some didn't. I will say that Zhen just going "that's great for you" in response to Shifu stating he's a red panda got me for some reason

If anyone hurts Po's gay dads I'm killing everyone in this room and then myself

Jack Black's cover of Baby One (1) More Time is unironically better than the original

A list of things that Do Not Slap:

Pacing/Plot:

This movie lacked a color scheme? KFP 1 was blue (also some gold), KFP 2 was red, KFP 3 was green. These colors weren't subtle either, there are entire scenes in each movie drenched in these colors and it was really obviously missing here

The whole first half the movie feels really breathless and too fast-paced. Apparently it was a studio mandate to have it not go over an hour and a half which is A) stupid and B) hurts the pacing

As much as I love Po's two gay dads we REALLY should not have been wasting time on their journey when the runtime is so tight

Also them tagging along felt off? Mr. Ping was worried sick about Po in KFP 2 but he doesn't tag alone because obviously he needs to let his son have his space. It's more in-character with Li Shan but it doesn't come across like he's talking Mr. Ping into it or something

In general there are so many plot points in this movie that feel under-developed. You could've made an entire movie out of the previous villains returning, Zhen and the Chameleon's relationship (see below), etc.

Po's Character:

People not knowing Po is the dragon warrior is weird, I'm pretty sure he would've been more well known than that

The entire thing with Po needing to give up his role as the Dragon Warrior doesn't really make sense? The Dragon Warrior is literally a made-up title. There's no need to have a Dragon Warrior because there is no such thing technically, it's why Oogway denied Tai Lung the title and then waited years and years to give it to Po. Like it's not a role that needs to be passed down, that's missing the entire point of the Everything

Also Po's only been like Dragon Warrior for a few years? I don't think we're ever given a time scale but it wasn't that long

The jokes about Shifu and Po having trouble with inner peace/mediating feels off given that was the entire plot of the second movie

It felt like Po regressed a bit character wise. He acts like he has no idea how to be a teacher in this movie but he already was a teacher by the end of the third, that was the entire point??

Also he seemed like he was more gullible in this movie but I could be wrong

Why is Po so impressed with Juniper city. He literally spent most of KFP 2 in Gongmen hello?? I think(?) Juniper is bigger but he shouldn't be acting like he has no idea what a city is

Zhen/Chameleon:

Zhen's character design doesn't match anything else, which is weird because most of the new characters in this film keep the distinct style in some form or another

Her wanted poster shows her with the bold markings KFP is known for and it looks SO much better

The plot twist with Zhen working for the villain was so obvious I did not realize it was supposed to be a twist at first

Also, the entire thing with Zhen was entirely unneeded? The Chameleon could've just just stood up and announced her plan to take over and Po would've shown up on her doorstep with the staff

I guess the idea is that Po needed to hand over the staff willingly for it to work? But if that's the case the Chameleon could've just impersonated Tigress or something and gotten it that way in like 1/3 of the time

Originally she was supposed to have kidnapped Shifu which would've been a much better plot point as it would've given Po extra motivation

The other problem with treating Zhen as a plot twist is that it hampers the relationship she has with the Chameleon effectively being her mom, which is FASCINATING. They had some really interesting chemistry together (the whole "stand up straight" thing as one example) and I could've seen it as a Mother Gospel from Tangled kind of deal, but we barely get any interaction between the two and it's like AAAAAAA

Fanfic writers fix this shit. I believe in you

I'll have to chew on it more but my pacing thought would actually be to start with Po finding out about the Chameleon's "take over everything" plan very early due to Shifu's kidnapping. He breaks into the lair like at the 1/3 mark or earlier and he meets Zhen inside which then leads into why she's doing what she's doing and the mother angle, etc etc blah blah

The Chameleon needed to just straight-up murder someone, comically shoving them down the stairs isn't good enough. I know stairs are Po's greatest enemy but I don't think that applies to everyone

Shen was allowed to stab someone on-screen so I think the Chameleon should be a allowed to strangle someone or something. as a treat

If violence was the concern just keep it off-screen like Master Rhino's death in KFP 2

The shapeshifter turning into a giant monster trope is overrated and I'm glad it was just used briefly here and not even for her defeat

Also the Chameleon's thing with her being rejected from Kung Fu because she's too small makes no sense b/c Mantis, which I'm pretty sure everyone's pointed out already. She does say "lowly" I think but was she ever poor? Could make a very interested parallel to Zhen if that was the case but it was never brought up again

I've heard some argue body image parallels w/ Po in KFP 1 but if that was the intent it's not explored, like, at all, which is a shame because it could've been an interesting angle

Also If they wanted a better excuse related to body image just say she was too frail instead of too small. I haven't owned chameleons but I've heard from people who have that they are very frail and very hard to keep alive, which would be a much better reason to turn her away

Cameos:

Yes I'm devoting an entire section to five second cameos don't judge me

I have mixed feelings on the Five not being present (save for the end cameos). On the one hand they are sorely missed but on the other hand they would've just made the plot bloat even worse

Lack of speaking was also bothersome. Part of me is glad they weren't recast with cheaper VAs because it's disrespectful to interchange them, but on the other hand that might've been better than just not having them speak and not paying anyone anyway

Tai Lung had all the best lines and was also the best used out of all the cameos, even if it would've been nice to have him on screen for longer. Also if they stuck with Shifu being kidnapped those two could've had some much-needed dialogue

Side note, while I don't think it contradicts anything from KFP 3 the spirit world having only kung fu masters in it feels off? It makes it seem so small and limited

Kai being there is weird. He's like. dead dead. Deader than dead. I guess you could argue that you can't kill something that's already dead but there's nothing even acknowledging this

Trying to take Shen's kung fu is really weird because the entire point of the fight with Master Rhino in KFP 2 is that he is not? a master?? like he's GOOD but he's not amazing, like if a master is like a 10/10 he's like an 8/10.

"The Chameleon has the powers of all my old nemesises!" WHAT'S SHEN'S POWER EXACTLY. HIS ONLY POWERS ARE GUN AND MOMMY/DADDY ISSUES

She does summon him way later than Tai Lung and Kai so maybe she was just camp spawning every single person she could think of regardless of skill level? she also uses his wings at one point so maybe she just wanted those, I don't think(?) there were other birds summoned

Though speaking of which she claimed she was using his wings but very clearly wasn't? not only were they black but they were raggedy and lacked the five longer feathers on the tips

Also Shen's model was super off, it looked way too fluffy and like an entire row of eyespots were missing from the edge of the train (which might have been a clipping error? unsure) it's been said the new models were made out of glue and popsical sticks and I believe it

Tai Lung has a habit of just like Grabbing anyone that's smaller than him and it amuses me

It's honestly really weird that everyone would just agree to go back into the spirit world willingly?

Like I think it works for Tai Lung because he's a noble person who just goes into a disassociative state and commits atrocities. Like I think he'd be willing to accept his death

Also it checks out for Shen because he killed himself and given his "dead belong in the past" mentality I can't imagine him wanting to stick around, he'd probably think it was unnatural

But Kai?? Kai was FURIOUS at being dragged back into the spirit world at the end of 3, like hell he'd just go quietly

Also I can see Tai Lung maybe respecting Po enough to bow to him but everyone else is pushing it unless they have therapists in the spirit world. Po offered Shen some nice advice at the end of KFP 2 and his response was to kill himself on the spot, I don't think him or Kai would be bowing

All of them were definitely in the middle of a mahjong match and were experiencing the equivalent of being woken up in the middle of a nap so they were just going along with things

Chameleon: I'm going to steal your kung fu

Everyone:

Misc:

I did like some of the more subtle callbacks. Stuff like Po seeing his reflection in the blade the way Shifu did or the "I can't even beat you to the stairs" scene were nice and not overly overt or in-your-face

If Po actively refers to himself as the "Kung Fu Panda" one more time I'm going to end it all

anyway that was not supposed to be a 12 page essay but it's too late now, goodbye

#kung fu panda #kfp #kung fu panda 4 #kfp 4 #liveblog #outdesign posts things #don't get me started on kfp or I won't shut up about it

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fireheartwraith · 1 month

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I feel kind of weird making this, but a couple of my posts got some decent amount of notes so I thought I'd share

It's been a while since I've stopped actively following qsmp. Months since I've liveblogged like I used to. At first I just needed a break from the community but still watched on my own time, then I got busy with work/college, and then decided to boycott in solidarity.

After Quackity's "response", I'm leaving QSMP behind for good. I had a lot of fun and genuinely loved this project, but seeing as the creator can't differentiate hate from valid criticisms and workers' rights, I'll do as he says and leave. I encourage my fellow brazilians and french mutuals to do the same. We clearly aren't welcome anyway.

A lot of ex-egg admins (including Dapper, Pomme, and Ramón) have posted statements on Twitter, I urge all those who are unaware of the situation to read them.

If you think we're just haters who want to see the project fail, please just save us both the trouble and block me.

If you're still watching something despite knowing the people who make it special are being exploited, please go fuck yourself. Your special interest is not more important than people's rights. There are ways to still consume your interest while showing support to the workers who, after Quackity's great response, are getting harassed and threatened for speaking up.

Goodbye, everyone. See you on the flip side

EDIT: some people were confused so here is my clarification. You can read them in the notes

@silverware-drawer @white-pyramids-blog @absurdist-pink

Pomme's admin letter (English version):

https://twitter.com/Lumi_Pomme/status/1770924040271589420?s=19

Dapper's admin letter:

https://twitter.com/Dapper_no/status/1770928715964309702?s=19

Ramón's second admin thread:

https://twitter.com/arteamissing/status/1770571029326283195?s=19

Léa's profile. She has made other statement since the first one, as well as reblog other admins coming foward:

https://x.com/Leasagne_?s=09

One of the newest #RespectInQSMP threads. We are calling for a boycott of the QSMP awards btw:

https://twitter.com/thicksklls/status/1770886563653652592?s=19

#qsmp #qsmp pomme #qsmp dapper #qsmp ramon #i won't tag discourse because workers' rights are not fucking discourse #this is not about egg drama or ship wars #grow a spine #quackity #qsmp quackity

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months

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ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

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fountainpenguin · 6 months

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#Riddle Watches Traffic - Secret Life Session 4 POVs - This post contains Joel, Grian, Etho, Martyn, and Scar commentary

Joel POV (My first POV for this session):

Joel, the ex-Shrek, running around dropping lines from "All Star" in conversation is everything I could have wanted.

Joel: If you were a color, what color would you be? Pearl: Red.

Can't argue with that.

Lizzie: You like my path? Joel: I do. Is it going to link up with mine? Lizzie: We've got connecting paths now. Joel: I didn't realize we were that close. Lizzie: To touch paths. Joel: I know we're married, but come on... It's getting a bit crazy now.

slkdjf Joel really does not want to be touchy-feely with anyone this season huh?

Okay I switched to Grian's POV because Joel came up to the rest of the Mounders and they were all giggling and telling him to go talk to Grian, so swapping my liveblog over:

Grian POV

?? Grian's task was to bait a yellow into believing his task was singing everything he says, that feels kinda unfair to the yellows because it doesn't give them a way to call him on it, does it? slkdjf

That is really funny he needs to get someone to call him out in order to succeed, though.

Grian's really good at like, recapping and/or giving context (like pulling up his screen to walk the audience through exactly who the Yellows on the server are). Thanks G.

sldkfjs Scar singing back to Grian... They are soulmates, your honor.

Cleo, trying not to bust up laughing: How long do you have to sing for? Grian, singing: I don't have to sing! It's a choice~!

Grian chasing people and singing while they run sdlkfjsd... Mumbo like "Please stop following me! I don't want to deal with your singing anymore!"

sldkfjsd can we make a reaction clip out of Grian sadly singing, "I am mortally wounded~"

Grian is SO GOOD at this baiting game, though. Despite needing to get a yellow to guess his task, he takes off running as soon as Joel shows up, then when Joel starts talking to him he clams up. Master of manipulation; what a deLIGHT!

sldkfjs the hilarity of Joel smugly calling Grian out and then Grian takes out his book, sighs loudly, and trots off to the Secret Keeper... and hits success instead of fail. omg.

Joel immediately adding "My world's on fire; how 'bout yours?"

Grian: "You are all terrible friends and that's what I needed <3"

lskdjfsdk Scar being like "Wait, that was your task? I thought we were just being musical." Your honor, they are soulmates.

Does... does Etho have my "reference previous seasons / fake moment from previous series" task suggestion?

Switching back to Joel:

slkdfjsldkjfksdl in Joel's POV, there's a bit of lag so when Joel confronts Grian, Grian suddenly bolts across the bridge at light speed and it's hilarious.

Switching to Etho because dying of curiosity:

Etho making cute benches outside his shack.

Cleo: Oh, there there... I was going to pat you, but then I realized... Etho: Pat me with a sword? Clean slice through the head?

sdklfjsdfj househusband Etho strikes again?? Cleo accidentally whacks him with a sword and he immediately spins around like "I'm sorry- I'll do the dishes, I'll do whatever you want! No more, no more!" Love that for him.

Love how Etho said "Aha" after looking at his task even though he hadn't even received that suggestion yet.

You nerds really gonna be like "Etho and I aren't romantic" and "We're besties" and then put a single bed inside your house, huh? What am I supposed to do with that.

?????? Martyn giving Etho the assignment of gaslighting someone into believing a fake moment from the previous series? Does Martyn have my suggested task or did we just same brain on that one? lol.

[More liveblogging under the cut <3 #Long post]

Switching over to Martyn POV because curious:

skdlfj wow Martyn's video is super loud after coming from Etho's. Just gonna turn my sound down there.

??? Martyn does not have my suggestion so I guess he and I just had the same brain wave. Alas. Here were some suggestions I put in Tango's Session 3 comments, for anyone curious:

Reference events from past Life series at least 4 times in conversation with other players (Ex: "This reminds me of that one boogeyman kill in Last Life; remember when X happened?") - [Some ideas that come to mind are that it would be funny to pester players who missed seasons by lightheartedly teasing them about events they weren't around for]

Alternatively: Convince at least 2 players that a falsified event happened in Secret Life or a past Life series [Ex: "Haven't you seen the fanart of this? I'll send it to you later." / "Remember, we were all there? Oh, you didn't play in that series; I guess you wouldn't know."]

?? They took the world border out of the Nether. Untapped escape routes in Hell.

I appreciate "mayor" Scar chasing the Big Dogs away and telling them he was going to send them to the pound.

(Loud sigh). Scar upset with Martyn for peeing on (dumping water on) his base. Martyn is running amok. Unrestrained.

slkdjf Martyn admitting he had read a lot of tasks in the past week and was thinking he'd probably end up taking someone else's idea. Y'know what, good enough for me. Whether we same brained or he read that, I'm satisfied. Also Etho saying "Martyn, you should write tasks because that's a great idea." I'll take it, slkdfj.

Watched a few minutes more of Martyn, he's talking with Joel and I have nothing to say atm, switching back to Joel:

Joel so sad when his cows get loose.

I appreciate how Martyn allowed Etho to buy his silence but then he runs to Joel and starts dropping hints.

slkdjfs Joel nailed his lyrics, good for him.

Joel working on his farms before pressing the success button is mildly stressing me out. (Oh, he was waiting for safe day).

sldkfj Etho giving Joel a chance to take a guess at him and Joel phrasing his words specifically as "Was your goal to bait a yellow into guessing you're saying 'Aha?'"

I always admire Joel's commitment to getting the right colored resources, especially wood. He takes so much pride in his builds even in the deathgame.

One of my other task suggestions was to break game rules for part of the session and I used the example of wearing a helmet. If Scar has that task, that will be quite funny. He's being super sus about that helmet and even talking like "I can take it off! I'll take it off right now" which would line up with my 50% of the session suggestion. I'll have to check on him next.

Gem's Yellow life heterochromia.

lskdjfslkjdf Boat Boys, my beloved...

Etho, parking a boat and making eye contact: Joel. Get in. Joel: The fandom's gonna go crazy, Etho. We can't do this. Etho: We're reliving the past, Joel, right now. Remember the good old days, just me and you? Joel: I do. The Relation ship. Etho: Riding the boats? Etho: ... Back when you cared about me.

skdjf I had to pause to start writing that and it really does just keep going, huh?

Joel: I still care, Etho. It's just... Etho: You still care? We hardly see each other anymore. Joel: I know, I know, but that's because I'm with the Mounders now. Etho: Well, this is where the relationship ends.

What is in Etho's Secret Life water; he is SO clingy and mushy with Joel every episode.

Joel calling Scar out for breaking the rules... is this my task, I am so curious.

Kind of surreal watching this play out. Definitely picking up the vibe that the players screened tasks together before putting them in and so they've got "rule breaker" as a possible option in their minds and that's why they're so quick to jump in and call Scar out on that TODAY despite the fact that he was also breaking rules in previous episodes. Very curious.

Martyn's calling a meeting, seems like a good time to pop over and check on Scar's task. Episode title is him calling himself a server villain so it might not be my task, but that's very funny anyway. Let's see.

Alas... It is not my "Break the rules for 50% of the episode" task suggestion, but the task he does have is really clever (Do the opposite of what people tell you to do).

Gonna bounce back to Joel and finish his episode and return to Scar later, but that will be a fun watch <3 Still getting the vibe that they screened my task ideas and maybe we will see it another day. We shall see.

I like the mental image of Scott looking up, covered in mud and dirt, as the Task Force comes barreling over the hill like "We caught you mud-handed!!"

Also enjoy the mental image of Joel catching Gem at the bottom of his water slide.

Joel @ Gem about The End: How come they went? I wouldn't go. Gem: idk, bunch of improv nerds. They just kept saying 'Yes.'

Yeah that tracks.

Gem: I just saved you a heart. I don't think I have to give you one.

I love how Joel is always like "Everybody likes me because I'm really popular." Like that's his actual dialogue. He's so fun to write and it's always funny to remember that he really is just Like That.

Congrats to Joel for finishing a nice fence around his base, lighting it up, and chopping down the trees to prevent skeleton spawning! He's doing pretty well this season.

MARTYN FIRST RED... He fell out of the world. what an idiot /affectionate.

Jimmy too... Jimmy. Jimmy, my man who has been out first four seasons in a row... is also on red life now... Jimmy, you are playing a DANGEROUS game.

Done with Joel's POV, switching to Grian's (after leaving a nice comment and a like on his video ofc <3)

Grian: The reds work slightly differently, but I'll explain that when we get our first red. Me: ... ah.

It's fun to see how careful and skilled Grian is. He's been a very high-heart green name for several episodes and it gives me 3rd Life vibes again.

That said, he lost a bunch in the caves... but I get why, gotta do the mining. Oh geez, zombie kid with a sword hits hard. Ouch.

Loving his dramatic music, though. It was interesting a few months ago when I went back and started binging some early Hermitcraft episodes, because you never appreciate the skill these guys have with subtle music until you compare them to their older videos which feel more awkward and empty. gg.

Holy GEEZ, Grian's dropping hearts like mad. Also watching him panic as his hunger meter drops because he's out of food is super funny. Yeah, that'll kill you.

Grian Session 4 would be a good early watch with that kind of tension... Also I love him limping into his base and devouring berry after berry.

Scar unable to take off his helmet because everyone keeps going "?? Take off your helmet!" and he can't.

The hilarity of:

Grian: Can I use your enchantment table? Scar: YES! ... Wait........ Grian: /turns around Scar: Noooo... Grian: /cracks up

Scar indicating he's okay with Grian using the table by using a sarcastic sing-songy voice to tell him it would be a bad idea to use it skldfj

Scar following Grian's instructions but doing so with a delay while Grian stands there confused sdlkfj

Grian: Scar said I could use it! How else would I know you had it? Cleo: ?? Why would Scar be in charge of our enchanter? Grian: ??? He said it was his??

Etho telling Grian to give his heart to Cleo slkdjf. Etho just really wants to be affectionate to someone.

Grian: What do I have to do to be friends? I hate living in that egg.

lskdjf obsessed with the besties roommates getting a third wheel roommate who brings them golden carrots.

Etho: You've been burning down your bases every episode. One rule: If you move into ours, you're not allowed to burn it down.

<3 Builder roommate!!

slkdfjsk they outsourced the bed shrine to Grian.

Etho: Cleo, you're really going to get along with Grian. He likes burning things too.

Obsessed with Grian asking why Etho waterlogged his chests and when Etho explains it's to prevent TNT damage, Grian just pauses and goes "I have made the right choice." sldkfj. Grian and Etho and Cleo team up! Very exciting; what will they do?

Grian asking Scar if he's okay and Scar saying "I'm neutral." skldjf. Scar is so good at this.

Loving Grian going to visit BigB for his obligatory "let's find out what weird stuff he's doing" commitment (and dragging Scar after him).

slkdjfskldj wheezing:

Grian: Why is Tango hanging around? Mumbo: ??? That's a bit rude? Someone partaking in a conversation and you're like "Why are you here?"

Watching Martyn eyeballing The End advancements in the chat while I know he's this close to dying from jumping in The End is stressing me out.

Mumbo: Grian, let's play a game. You stop. Grian: /stops Mumbo: /takes off running

And there go Martyn and Jimmy...

?? How interesting that red lives can't immediately PVP other players, but that's hilarious that they're supposed to have a never-ending chain of harmful tasks to complete. POV, you get possessed by a bunch of spirits who don't want to release your body. Time to add that to my Secret Life 'fic collection...

Grian's POV is done, going to leave him his like and comment, quickly wrap up these recaps, and sign off for the night.

Etho time:

Coming back in to Martyn's gaslighting suggestion... picking up what Etho does from here. sldkfj that really is my task he suggested, but Etho interpreted it differently. Fun to watch though. Also hilarious that Etho started claiming he came up with the Aha bit. sldkfj. Everyone in this series is nuts.

Shout out to Bdubs: "I want to be Yellow just for the barks."

slkdfj love Jimmy pointing out that in Last Life everyone was cracking up over Aha jokes but now everyone is just sighing at Etho.

Etho possessed by dead Southlander ghost :(

I like Etho asking if Grian wants a bread bridge because it really does sound like he's just bringing up "dead memes."

wheezing at Bdubs like "Wow, someone made the whole world in this short of a time?" and Scott jumps in like "Only a Bad Boy could do that." slkdfjlsdjf

Martyn: I meant something else but :'D (GG)

slkdfjsdljfskl screaming at BigB like "I forgot I was supposed to report to the Heart Foundation."

Etho: I'm a horse girl too. Cleo: I mean, that's what I call Bdubs.

lskdjfsldkjf Impulse jumpscare. Haven't seen him show up in any of my POVs yet. Will probably circle back to him later this weekend.

That wraps up Etho's POV, switching over... I have been watching Minecraft for like 3 hours straight.

Bdubs in Etho's comments launching a "formal complaint" against Etho sldkjfs. That's friendship.

Speedwatching Martyn and then Scar and then we rest.

Picking up 15 minutes into Martyn's episode:

Joel, about his wife: Oh, Lizzie. I forgot her. Not like she's an important part of my life or anything. Martyn: Old news, old news. Separation of work and life.

I do find it funny that Etho was bouncing around like "Joel, want to take a shot at me?"

The "Scar never stood trial" screen is cracking me up.

Again, RIP Scar unable to take off his helmet because everyone kept telling him too slkdjf.

I love Martyn and Pearl going back and forth like "You just told me to give my base a big butt and then walked off."

Martyn: I'm waiting to hand in my task in case I lose hearts so I can recover. Curse of knowledge: ...

<3 Pretty Heart Foundation cherry blossom heart and cool globe in the background.

sldkjf Impulse urging everyone to gift Skizz hearts. The guilt. They are BFFs, your honor.

Martyn's dramatic music while Scar takes off running slkdjf.

Big brain move by Martyn for swiping Mumbo's horse while sussing out his task.

Welp, this is as far as I got before someone came in and pulled me from my computer, which of course restarted in my absence and closed all my many incognito tabs with my videos :') Ugh. Thank goodness for auto-saved drafts though or I would have lost this after 3 hours of watching.

Posting now and if I have anything more to say about Martyn or Scar, I'll do so in another post!

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oneatlatime · 7 months

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I’m curious as to how your blog works. In my mind it goes like this: you watch an episode, write down notes as you’re watching, go back to the episode to make screenshots, write down the episode summary/commentary, post it on tumblr, watch the next episode and repeat. But I wonder, do you actually only watch an episode once or do you go through multiple watches (full or partial)? And do you actually not watch the next episode until you’re completely done with the previous one? Regardless of your methods, it’s so much work and I really respect your self-control (I probably would have ended up binging the show.)

I watch, for the first time, with split screen between the show and where I type notes. With my hand hovering over the pause button like a coked out Jeopardy contestant, I pounce on places I want to make a comment, take a screenshot, and note down the time stamp and a vaguely point form, typo-riddled summary of what I want to say. Then it's back to watching. This doesn't quite work in particularly enthralling scenes, where I inevitably end up too involved in the show to remember to pause, in which case I rewind to my last timestamp and rewatch. Same applies if I can't catch a piece of dialogue. For example, in the scene in The Blind Bandit where Toph explains her earthbending, I watched that three or four times through before progressing on to the next scene because I was having difficulty understanding Toph's lines. Then after I've finished watching, I go through and translate my word vomit into something legible, clean up the screenshots if needed, throw in a 'keep reading' break and some tags, and then it's good to go. I watch, take notes, edit, and post all in one session, based on only one watch through (albeit with some scenes repeated if necessary).

This is what I've done for all episodes so far, except The Storm. I lost count of how many times during The Storm I forgot that I was supposed to be taking notes. I was far too sucked in. And then the post autosave function malfunctioned and I hit the wrong button and the whole thing disappeared. Luckily I had an archived version of the text on my hard drive, but I did have to go through and retake the screenshots, so I watched that episode twice through while blogging about it. I've also watched it once since, just for entertainment.

I figure the choppiness this approach inevitably introduces into the viewing experience mimics what it actually would have been like to view these episodes the first time they aired, since (to my knowledge) Nickelodeon had and still has commercial breaks.

And yes! I am resisting the urge to watch ahead. I watch one at a time, usually devoting my evening to it. Sometimes between posts I'll rewatch episodes I've already seen and blogged about. I've seen Bato of the Water Tribe an embarrassing number of times, and episode 1 at least 4 times. But I'm not watching ahead, and I'm doing the closest thing to liveblogging that the medium allows.

I used to do freelance transcription (and may go back), so I'm very used to making a direct line between the content on the screen and my keyboard. It's a useful skill!

It is a lot of work, and I'm sure there's a more efficient way to do it, but I enjoy it. I can spend two hours typing up a post and it will feel like 20 minutes.

#ask #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fastest fingers in the west #avatar the last airbender

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qqueenofhades · 10 months

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You’re the second person I’ve seen reference the music of Swan Lake when talking about the potential fighting between Wagner and the Russian military proper. What is that about?

I encourage your effort to inform yourself, which is why I'll note that this is a question easily answered with a 10-second Google search. For example, if you search "swan lake russia coup" on Google right now, this is what pops up:

This first result is yesterday's article from Business Insider, explaining the significance of "Swan Lake" being played on Russian state TV during moments of domestic political turmoil (the last time being during the attempted coup against Mikhail Gorbachev in 1991). Note that Swan Lake is not actually being played on TV during the attempted coup of 2023, as far as we know, but that is what this is referencing.

If you're then interested in learning more about what the last Russian coup attempt involved, you could go to Wikipedia:

And hey! Now you're on your way.

This also goes for the people reblogging my initial post (from last night) with some variant of "there's no evidence for this!!!" or "I hope this is true but I don't think/know if it is." First of all, I literally said in my post that the only evidence for it at the time was what Prigozhin was saying. As I went to bed, the first videos were starting to appear, but there wasn't much confirmation or external verification.

Now there is much more photo and video evidence, providing an independently verifiable route for the Wagner mercenaries from Rostov, to Voronezh, to Lipetsk, to (evidently) Moscow. We don't know exactly what's going on or how it will end, and it's always a good idea to question everything that comes out of Russia, as their official government channels/power structure lies about everything all the time. However, if you're interested in reviewing the evidence for yourself or making a determination as to what has been verified, there are options! For example, here is the Guardian's liveblog:

Basically: not everything is a "gotcha" where Superior Internet Users need to find some way to prove that I'm actively lying to them, and you don't need to fall back on "learned helplessness" when hearing things on social media and wanting to find some way to externally verify them through other news sites. Obviously it can be tricky, and I stress again, nobody knows for sure what's going on. But something definitely is going on, this has now been confirmed by a number of external video/photo/government/other entities both outside and inside Russia, and we will have to wait like everyone else to see what happens next.

#anonymous #ask #russia ukraine war #russian history #soviet history

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theneighborhoodwatch · 4 months

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Found this welcome theory video that i found interesting: https://youtu.be/9Lz6OcILeSc?si=tcPnCX3QC4JmAyC-

Thoughts :3?

(functional link to video)

i tend to avoid youtube coverage of welcome home because i'm petty, but fuck it, it's a new year and i've never actually heard of this youtuber before. i'll give it a shake. liveblog under the cut:

"y'know if it wasn't for the unsettling mysteries, the feeling that somebody is always watching you, and the mold.... i'd wanna live in the neighborhood" that's exactly why the mold and paranoia's so scary babeyyyy

"update number two" Tch.

i'm less inclined to call the writing in this update character development so much as it is just character establishment. especially since before the july 22nd update (bc that's what this video is about) all we knew about the other neighbors was what the WHRP was willing to tell us. i feel like i'm preaching to the choir though.

ok i laughed at the grindset alpha male howdy joke

"now i wanna move onto eddie bc i wanna make a connection between [eddie and howdy]" :D OH DO YOU NOW.

i do love the energy in this video, very infectious. i too have recommended people welcome home solely on the basis that they would have the hots for eddie and y'know what i haven't been wrong yet.

I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW LIKE. almost all of the characters have that backstory element of having coming from somewhere else before settling down in home, but i see the point about howdy and eddie specifically dealing with stuff that comes from someplace else as like, an actual job. putting a pin in it.

i'm not Sure how i feel about the idea that the world of home/the world in which home exists is Within our world? pretty much from the beginning i assumed it was running on re:creators/deltarune dark world rules (i.e. it is a world that was born from human thought and its existence is dependent on/influenced by our world, but at the end of the day it does exist on like a separate plane of reality) and i still stand by that. barbieland in barbie 2023 is a more apt comparison though.

"possession route" Tch.

ok actually i can't tch at that because i have talked about it in my own posts. TL;DR: i think possession/haunting theory could work but only if it's anything other than actual literal ghosts. as soon as you try to make it FNAF 2 i sleep.

don't have much to say about Real Poppy Lover Hours except emphatic smiling and nodding. although i will say i have seen people use "oh she's more like a mom/aunt/etc.!" as an excuse to sideline her in fanwork bc for some reason some folks think that her having a motherly personality means that she can't be shipped with anyone? even though all of home's residents are adults who aren't even related to each other? that's a gripe for another post, though.

THE CONCEPT OF SALLY BEING AS BIG AS POPPY IS KILLING ME. I PROMISE SHE'S SMALL SHE JUST HAS A BIGASS HEAD. she would want to be big though wouldn't she.

...actually now i want big sally. note to self to draw that later.

i do like the examination of whether or not sally referring to the audience is meant to mean anything. personally i think it's just a bit of wordplay/red herring action but You Never Know!

i misheard "girlboss bossgirl slay" as "girlboss boygirl slay" for like a split second. still fits tbh.

IT'S FUNNY THAT THEY MENTION THINKING THAT THE WHRP IS A SINGLE PERSON bc i do have an ask about that right after this. i'll save my thoughts for that response though.

it's funny that "was the majority of the gang being some form of queer/disabled/nd/etc. planned in-universe" is a question at all bc at the risk of sounding like an asshole it feels so obvious to me that it very much was not. the interview is definitely playing into those themes though.

"them <3" yeah

again. extremely refreshing to see a welcome home video from someone who actually likes welcome home instead of the clicks that covering it will give them.

BARNABY-SANS COMPARISON IS... DISTRESSINGLY APPROPRIATE.

he always knows when to show up, huh.... huh.... i've been trying to break away from being so self-referential ever since welcome home and consequently this blog blew up but. huh...

do i think he's a service dog? i think to answer that question we would first have to answer the question of whether or not he's even a Dog or just Shaped Like A Dog. the laws of his reality say he is a dog, but we can at least guess that even even those can't be trusted. i think it's possible that he may see himself as in service to wally, that he worries about what will happen if he doesn't butt in, but i don't know if this is an objective truth.

"[wally] being so mysterious i don't think is like, him wanting to be mysterious. [...] there just may not be that much about him." and then relating that to how typically protagonists in puppet shows have more subdued personalities than their co-stars so they can be more relatable to the audience. Teehee. (this is positive)

oh there's something kind of poetic about the idea that each bug video ends bc wally's snapped out of his dissociation by one of his friends calling his name when paired with the idea that he's disassociating in part due to his connection with the audience isn't there. being reminded of one's own personhood through your connections with others, and how that has the potential to become more bittersweet the more wally continues to risk it in the process of regaining a sense of purpose as The Audience Surrogate. oogh. that's just me waxing poetic though.

oooh that whole passage about the idea of remembrance and the pursuit of a "correct" story and tying that back into how welcome home in-universe has been almost universally forgotten and the themes of living as a disabled or mentally ill or queer person. beautiful connection.

"hmmm, how much agency do you have in your life actually" AHEHEHE. HEHEHEHE. HEHE.

conclusion: Good Video. thank you for sending it.

#anonymous #ask #welcome home #wh speculation

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henghost · 3 months

Text

Twig Liveblog for Arc 13

aaaaaa ‼️‼️‼️ idk if i've metabolized my thoughts enough to be fully coherent about them but i feel like i'll burn alive if i don't get them out, so:

it's like, after 3.1-10: "oh this is fun! a little cat and mouse game with the lambs." then after 3.11: "i am ready to commit grievous acts of violence." the earlier chapters are nonetheless worth discussing as without them there could not be such a "devastating" fifth-act catastrophe. particularly the communication experiments fascinated me. what a perfect metaphor! what if a radio could feel fear? what if a a radio could feel love? might we not also ask--what if a weapon could feel horny?

of course the lillian perspective deserves special attention as well. even before she says so explicitly, we understand that she is "ruined." there is her drug use, her physiological response to even the smallest mention of sy. this is perhaps the anatomical effect of being so close as the lambs, who are essentially a single organism: losing one, especially the one to whom you were closest, is like cutting off a limb. poor girl! like the rest of them she's wrapped up in shit too vast to possibly understand much less overcome.

helen is also going through it :( maybe she'll be the next one to join sy... mary's perspective is also quite rough--this is when i realized that this sy guy is on a level of psychosis i hadn't really considered before lmao.

and then at last there's That Scene with lillian, which reads at first like some kind of fanfiction--some kind of fanfiction lillian herself might have written--complete with typically teenaged overdetail, melodramatic descriptions of flushes, body heat, etc., till finally there's a sort of "surrealist coup," we realize we are too deep in sy's subjectivity to understand the reality of the situation, there's a break, we are lost.

it's all just so (say the line, henghost!) freudian... one of freud's most correct insights is that eros permeates all aspects of life, and therefore that to deny, suppress, or compartmentalize it cannot achieve anything but to make it sick, make the host neurotic. for example, instead of simply fucking your best friend who's clearly into you, you might design an obscenely elaborate rube goldberg type contraption throughout a monument to your darkest trauma (that psychotic fucking carnival orphanage lmao) in order to "win" your ex back. it is wrong, therefore, though understandable, to say that sy has "castrated himself"--it would be more accurate to say that wyvern has his dick twisted up in knots while he's still trying to get hard, poor guy. (by the way, i really have to write something about how wyvern is an allegory for ssri's lol.)

i won't even broach the moral ambiguity, though i'm sure there's something interesting to be said about it--for me, it's like asking about the morality of a withered tree or oedipus rex. and it really is that sophoclean: it was doomed to happened; it was fate. it is written into jamie's dna. sy is a gun who wants, and a gun cannot help but fire. libido is the engine pushing us down a railway designed at best by deus sive natura or at worst by the Academy. i feel fucking sick to my stomach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nonetheless, i found it life-affirming. it's pessimistic, yes, but it's a pessimism of strength.

anyway, i've gotta give kudos to the author. for all the (deserved) shit i've given him, the wildbow of twig is clearly a far more mature writer than the wildbow of worm.

i must also--since this the last recorded arc for the audiobook!!--shoutout kim dauber, who provided professional-level audibook-reading for free!!! it's possible my reading will slow down without it :(

#twigblr #twig live blog #twig web serial #henghost's twig arc #sobbing #feel free to ask more!!!#sylvester lambsbridge

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