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#actually this goes out to rains specifically because they gave me this idea
ndn-craft · 1 year
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Tiny bug-like Listeners propaganda
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thepariahcontinuum · 11 months
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For the worm power oc.
A striker 9/ mover 8
When this cape touches an object for even a second it allows him to compleet control over the movement of said object. All he has to do is think after touching something and what ever hes has touched wil go there as fast or as slow as he wants.
As long as the object isn't to big for his power to take hold of it he can move it with compleet ease so it's no more difficult for him to move a skyscraper then it is to move a single piece of paper. And it's just as easy to 10 million grains of sand as it is to move one.
He can us this power on inanimate object and on himself.
Ooh a 9/8 rating, a bit of a powerhouse then.
The way the power is described makes me think of both the 'Contact telekinesis' thing that Superboy had/has (I don't keep track of retcons) instead of actual super strength....And also Rune/Scribe.
It was the Rune angle that immediately gave me some ideas of where to go with this....But since I refuse to make a nazi oc for these asks I'm gonna take it away from the obvious.
This is a Ward whose personal situation is an interesting mix of Golem and Shadow Stalker's circumstances. Specifically he was a kid who fell down the alt-right pipeline; basically he started out as that racist kid in X-Box live chats and a deliberate edge lord until a group like the Heron Clan who helped funnel capes to E88 found him, he hadn't triggered at this point and he wasn't really a true believer in white supremacism or anything else.... He was desperate for attention and saying the most heinous shit to get it.
Eventually talking had to become doing and the dumb fuck triggered during his initiation into a far right group, at which point he promptly bolted and ran for the hills. (Also side note, he can't actually use his power on himself due to Manton limits but he can use it on his clothes and that's how he gives the illusion of being able to fly, which is how he escaped, like what Shatterbird does with glass)
He ran, was picked up by the PRT who got him away from the group he'd been part of, but also used the fact he'd been involved to basically strongarm him into the wards, because they're not letting someone that powerful wander around as a free agent if they can help it.
He's ended up on the same Wards team as previous OCs Fightback and Chokepoint, which has actually worked wonders in getting him to start unpacking his previous actions and behaviours and trying to do better because....Well Chokepoint is a prick and nobody wants to be like that guy. He was also Specifically kept away from Brockton Bay, because putting him in the same city as E88 was a death sentence and also oddly enough he's a fan of Uber and Leet.
His powers are good enough and broad enough in scope that he could have just gone for something generic and heroic, but since he's an edgy little bastard and has the ability to back his shit talking up he can also afford to go with a theme and narrow his focus down... he wanted to go with knives and just rain blades on people but was told no. Instead he goes with Bolas, some of which are Tinkertech or have the weighted balls replaced with Containment Foam grenades.
Costume wise, all black bodysuit with a black hoodie over it and a harness with all of his bolas and other shit to throw at people on it, with a chest-shield/backpack that's somewhere between the Green Power Ranger's Dragon shield and a stylised pair of batwings reaching around from his back....He uses his powers on that to levitate himself and drops in on opponents, just telekinetically trick-shotting them with Bolas and catching them off guard. His face is covered by the hood and a mask that's totally not Reaper from Overwatch. He also an absolute dick and talks the most shit whilst doing it, to the point where he has been banned from interviews or speaking to the press and bystanders.
Cape name: Nightfall (Because it sounds badass and all of his other suggestions were vetoed)
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itsmoonpeaches · 3 years
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New Raya and the Last Dragon trailer? New cultural influences breakdown! Please note that this breakdown comes from a SEA who comes specifically from a Filipino background. Most, if not all, of the below information will be from that lens.
Seaport/night market
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The scene above looks to be heavily influenced by many on the sea towns you see in SEA. Most notably, Vietnam. However, there are many towns like these all over the SEA region. The lights and lanterns give it a night market feel, which is a concept that is seen throughout Asia in general.
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We see Raya’s hat which seems to be influenced by a Philippine salakot, but it is possible that it has influences from other SEA cultures. The architecture is akin to the weather that you typically see in the region which is more humid than East Asia, and more rooted in the sea. More things here are made from bamboo and there are nipa roofs. 
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Ignoring the blurry con baby, let’s take a look at the clothing. In this scene we see colorful golden zig zag patterns which you typically see more to the southern part of SEA, but there are similar patterns throughout. Here, the skirts and clothing seems to have much influence from Malaysia, Indonesia, and the southern islands of the Philippines.
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Oh what a scene! This is such a great view of what a typical SEA rural fishing town might look like: on the water, with houses and stores even on the water. There are narrow boats and coracles with baskets of food of all kinds of fruits and vegetables that people row around. You can see the nipa roofs really well from here, and might I add--a great looking bamboo bridge. 
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I have no idea how I caught this but just wanted to point out that these fruits that Raya cuts up look to be either lychees or rambutan which are found in SEA as well.
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Taking a moment to paste in this still from Entertainment in the same scene to note the fish in the basket to the left and the green star-shaped lantern that really gave me Philippine parol vibes. All the lanterns in the sea town look to either be made from paper or from capiz shells and dyed different colors.
Lands and architecture 
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The grand looking building on top of this island looks to be influenced by architecture from Brunei. Specifically, the dome shapes. A better shot below:
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The building in the middle of this island is obviously an exaggerated, fantastical version of what it was influenced by which looks to be a mix between Cambodian and Thai. All that gold...very typical of many countries in SEA. I’d also love to point out the rice terraces!!! Love them! While rice is a staple throughout Asia, it’s so nice to see it represented here. It kind of reminds me of a miniature version of the Banaue rice terraces in the northern mountain region of the Philippines.
It’s also nice to see that some of the lands seem to be influenced by the tropical, humid climates of much of SEA. The palms and the thick forests are typical in much of the region.
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Oh the rice fields. Raya and Sisu are standing here on one. We can see the mountainous background, reminiscent of the northern Philippines, the rain which just looks so typical that I’m kind of impressed by this particular setting. 
Other cultural touches
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At first glance, you might think this looks like a lotus flower, but I think it’s actually either a plumeria or a jasmine flower. Both are abundant in the region, and just imagining the fragrant smell of a jasmine flower here fits more as a story set in SEA and not in East Asia.
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This is not an opinion post, so I won’t state my opinions on the final (non-statue) design of the dragon, but I can analyze what it’s most likely based after. 
Unlike dragons in East Asia, SEA are often depicted with a long horn at the front. This is most prominent in Thai depictions. In many countries of the region, this dragon is called a naga. While a naga is also in South Asian mythology, they are a bit different here. Naga are so important within SEA cultures that we have multiple places (and a river) named after them all over SEA and particularly a few times in the Philippines. 
What I can tell you is mostly the Philippine version, but a naga is a serpentine creature that lives deep in the ocean, and are often associated with water. Sometimes they are depicted as having the upper half of a woman. A more famous naga (or a naga-influenced dragon), is Bakunawa--the great sea dragon that devours the moon and causes eclipses. It is said that Bakunawa is a naga, and sometimes the names are interchanged. 
In the southern islands of the Philippines, depictions of naga are seen carved throughout buildings, particularly on roofs. A typical dance movement where you keep your hands curved and your fingers bent toward yourself is called “naga hands” and is supposed to be reminiscent of a naga’s graceful claws.
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Highlighting here how cool it is to see that this is indeed a water dragon which is consistent with a naga. It’s also nice to note that it shapeshifts with water. Naga are supposed to have influence over earthquakes, the sea, rainfall, storms, and the like. They can also sometimes shapeshift into humans.
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Remember what I said about naga influencing rainfall?
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And then we have the shape-shifting into a human!
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Raya’s sword is a wavy blade called a kris blade. Found throughout many countries in SEA, the one I am most familiar with is the Philippine one. From what I know of it, they are blades that are wavy because when they pierce someone, it is more painful when they are withdrawn. 
Her fighting style is also influenced by Philippine martial arts. Notably arnis and escrima. They are fighting techniques that rely on shifting your opponent’s weight around, using their force against them. They also have a lot of quick footwork and practitioners are usually skilled with weapons such as swords and kali sticks. (Fun fact: I’ve heard some people say that the footwork from arnis may have influenced the quick steps of the national dance of the Philippines, tinikling.) To see more on that, check out the first teaser trailer where she uses kali sticks, and my first analysis. That analysis also goes into the clothing influences.
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THE GOLD. Gold is so, so important in SEA. This was a big glaring problem after seeing the first teaser trailer...there was not enough gold! Here, we can see that there is in fact, gold. The architecture here looks like a mix of different things, but I’m seeing perhaps...Thai?
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And here we have Tuk Tuk who is probably named after a tuk-tuk--a motorbike with a side carriage like a rickshaw--seen in SEA. “Tuk-tuk” is what this rickshaw is called in Thailand. In the Philippines it’s simply known as a tricycle. They are vehicles for hire, which is kind of funny since Raya rides Tuk Tuk.
Also of note, Tuk Tuk the animal is a giant pangolin. While I don’t know of any this size, they are found in SEA as well as other parts of the world.
Tuk Tuk looks like he’s eating a pink pomelo (grapefruit)? Not entirely sure, but that would fit the mold if he was in the Philippines. For some reason, grapefruit seems to be a popular fruit item.
That’s all I got! If you come from another SEA culture or noticed any other things (or things that I got wrong), feel free to add to this post!
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain
Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.
Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.
lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then
“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh
so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down
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his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch
(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)
side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”
ha ha ha, fucking ouch
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are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??
huh
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you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you
(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)
also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice
fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two
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All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you
is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist
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look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is
ffkdjslk
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“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what
-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol
okay fuck this
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see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight
just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up
oh my god
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“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob
omg why am I laughing. shit
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this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it
lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao
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just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me
adsfklwkfsdwgkj
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ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg
STAIN: heard you talking shit old man
ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain
STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way
ME: gljfljgk
(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)
sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”
good thing he still knows how to do this party trick
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A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything
lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone
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way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one
oh wait
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Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride
oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this
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(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)
Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony
dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue
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oh my god my heart
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shit
why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters
“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit
and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could
so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might
“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks
wtf
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are you dead All Might
um
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I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol
oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??
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hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??
oh my godddd
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and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much
FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING
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DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON
holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol
OH ARE WE STILL GOING
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my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think
...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time
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I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma
YAYYY
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it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit
anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech
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I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place
-- okay LISTEN
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YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this
holy fucking shit
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“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”
so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then
“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”
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it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip
anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol
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“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort
so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol
mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit
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levisgirll · 3 years
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i had this idea in mind and i was wondering if i could request a little story hc for it pls! so basically, levi's s/o is a bit of a klutz and can break things sometimes so when levis out in a meeting and his s/o is cleaning his office, she accidentally breaks one of his tea cups and starts panicking if he sees what she's done. so she frantically tries to fix it in the time that she has but levi catches her and she just breaks down and feels really bad but levi comforts her in the way that he can? sorry if this is too specific but you can add in your own ideas as well! <3
𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐞-𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)
→ text: hello there anon! this is such a great idea and I made it loads of fluff so I hope you enjoy it <3 ty for sharing your ideas and making it specific!🥺
synopsis: just as Y/N thought today would be a normal day and wanting to spend the rest of the day with her boyfriend, Levi, she accidently breaks one of his favorite things, which is his teacup! Y/N feels extremely bad about it and tries her best to fix it, although something goes wrong and Levi notices it. How does her boyfriend Levi react? And what does he do and say to her? get ready cause y/n gets to see a side of Levi she never seen before!
real cute fluff, a lil mention of injury (?), aot world, headcanon fanfic ♡ —
“I’ll see you later Y/N, okay? I just have a quick meeting to attend.” Levi said as he ruffled his girlfriends hair, giving her a small smile. “If you need anything-” Just as Levi was about to reassure his girlfriend that he is always willing to help her out, she cut him off by hugging his chest suddenly. “Don’t worry! I will be fine! And I just only want you back as soon as possible, so I will wait for you here!” His girlfriend said with a cheerful tone and gave him the most purest smile.
Levi loved his girlfriend a lot, and he would always be ready and willing to offer his help, time and effort for Y/N, because to him, she meant the world. His girlfriend was a bit clumsy, and that did not matter to Levi a lot but when it comes to Y/N accidentally slipping, or dropping things. He would never get mad at her but instead worried if she ever got herself hurt. He would always be a step ahead, ready to treat her injuries quickly if the thing she broke caused her harm and he would always then check up on his girl and ask her if she was alright.
He would usually take on many tasks and do them just to help his s/o out. Levi then started to find her pure clumsiness lowkey cute sometimes, for instance when she spills the tea while giving it to Levi and half of it would be gone, he would slightly chuckle and then say, “You made this for me?” And she would get so happy and nodding her head with a bright smile, getting happy how Levi said that. He admired and appreciated her effort for him, but what he finds also cute is when they are cleaning together alone at the stable and she would randomly drop her broom and say “Oops!” and when she tries to pick it up, Levi would just give her his broom and then chuckle “Stop being cute already.” and after he said that he lightly flicked her forehead, making his girlfriend a blushing mess right now and being embarrassed.
Waking up to random bruises would usually happen to his girlfriend when they sleep together. Y/N never had no idea where, when and how that happened! And when Levi wakes up and notices that as the sun shines on her skin, and he sees a small bruise on her upper arm, he would say “How did you get that?”. Y/N would turn her head that was laying on Levi’s chest to look at her arm, and then she would say “I wanna know that too!”. Levi would slightly chuckle and then he would caress it gently, to see if it hurts you, and if he sees no reaction coming from you he feels relieved but still puts a bandage on it later on as you change to your uniform <3
Levi would never let you walk after it has rained, on a wet floor, he would turn around and suddenly pick his girlfriend up from her waist, carrying her in his arms (in a bridal style way) and he would say “I’m carrying you. I don't want you slipping.” This man is ready and prepared to take care of his girl, the woman he loves dearly.
When Levi hears Y/N saying ‘ouch’, he quickly comes to you, as if he was summoned, and just randomly check on you then asks “Where are you hurt love?” Levi is ready, and your boyfriend does think of you 24/7 and cherishes you!
Although, one day her klutziness got the best of her today and it left Levi being really concerned and upset.
After Levi has gone to his meeting, Y/N decided to surprise him by cleaning his office as he always seems to smile whenever he sees something clean, and his girlfriend wants to see her boyfriend Levi smile as much as he can!
While she was cleaning his office in her free time, wiping the table surface with a cloth, she picked his teacup up and with her other hand was rubbing the table. But, she accidently slipped the teacup that was from her hand and it fell on the ground, causing it to break, shattering to pieces.
“Oh shit, shit, shit! I really fucked up this time!” Y/N said panicking and started to pace around, wondering what to do next. Her tears started to form in her eyes and she started to regret what she has done. Levi would so be upset and mad at her now.
Y/N then frantically tries her best to pick up the teacup pieces from the ground and was seeing if she would fix it or put them the pieces back together. She wanted to do this quick before Levi would come in and see what she has done.
But, that was too late as soon as Levi opened his office door, “Hey Y/N, I’m ba- What the hell.” Levi was caught off guard as he saw Y/N bent down, and when he came closer to her to see what she was doing, he then realized there were pieces of glass on the floor and that made him worry. “L-Levi, Don’t worry I’ll fix-” As soon as his girlfriend was about to finish what she was saying to him, she winced in pain as she accidentally cut herself with the small glass pieces since she got startled by Levi’s sudden presence. “Ow!” She uttered a yelp as she jolted from the pain and blood was now staring to form on her index finger.
Levi dropped everything he was carrying on the ground and immediately went to his girlfriend to help her. “Love are you okay?! Let me see.” He quickly took her hand, examining the cut on her index finger and went to his desk to get the first aid to patch Y/N up. Levi was calm and still as he was treating her injury, and he stayed silent while helping her out, focusing on putting the bandage on her accurately, and also to make sure she wouldn’t get even more pain while he was doing it.
Although, his girlfriend mistook that has Levi being mad and angry at her and she felt extremely bad, she looked down to her shoes, avoiding his eye contact and started to tear up. “I-I’m sorry Levi....I-I know you are mad right now, I feel really bad what I have done. I know how much you liked that teacup, I’m sorry I brok-”
Levi cut her off and brought his hand under her chin, to pull it up and made her now looking directly to his grey eyes. He had a calm expression but in his eyes he felt worried for her and his love for her was also shown. “I don’t care about that damn cup. What I care about is you idiot. Are you okay? Is it painful?” He questioned her in a concern tone, waiting for her response and she stood there sitting, her eyes would be wide open and surprised how Levi actually did not care a single bit about the teacup and was not even mad at her clumsiness. His love for her was stronger than that, and nothing mattered to him other than his girlfriend.
“No...” Y/N said in a soft tone and looked away, still feeling bad about what she did and Levi did notice that. He brought her closer and what he did really shocked Y/N. He gave her a tight and warm hug, and he was softly stroking her back gently and lovingly. She then realized that this was Levi’s own way of comfort, his way to let her know that it was all right and he only cared about was her.
This made Y/N a blushing mess and she grabbed on to Levi, and hugged him around his shoulders and softly sobbed on his neck. He was really gentle and soft towards her, and she loved him even more.
After that, Levi would take his girlfriends hand and pull her up, “Let’s go out.” Y/N just nodded and wondered where they would head to around this hour?
They then ended up in town, and Levi was holding her hand carefully and would time to time caress the back of her hand softly with his thumb to ease the pain away and that would give Y/N butterflies every single time he did that.
It turned out that, to make his girlfriend not feel bad about what she did. He ended up buying new teacups, and he would ask her to pick two teacups that she liked. She listened to him and picked the ones she found cute, and wondered why. It was then she realized that Levi finally said with a slight blush on his cheeks, “We can have, matching teacups. Hm, What do you think?”
Now, they have matching teacups <3 He was honestly the best boyfriend to Y/N and he tells her in his own way to comfort her that he is glad she broke that, cause if she didn't they wouldn't have matching teacups “That teacup was shit anyways. I wanted to buy a new set of teacups with you.” Levi would say he wouldn't even know how to even mention it and bring it up cause he was in fact thinking of having matching teacups! He is awkward and shy and would be a stuttering mess if he ever brought it up randomly one day to Y/N so he never mentioned it, but today was the day he would slip it in!
His girlfriend felt pleased and happy, happy about the fact that Levi was really understanding and he would do anything to make her feel happy again, he would never let Y/N go a day not feeling happy and making sure his girl was alright. She would then chuckle after and say, “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”
Levi would then smile at her, feeling relieved to see her smiling and happy again, cause in the end of the day, that was important to him other than a stupid teacup.
Now, Levi would roast ANYONE who touches his and Y/N's teacups. Levi would say to the other scouts that she is only allowed to touch them, use them, clean and even break it.
Then, starting from the next day Levi would sneak in kisses on her hand that got the cut every now and then when no one is looking. This left both of them blushing a lot.
Y/N would sometimes say with a sad sigh “Ugh, I’m so clumsily.” to Levi, but he would then go near her face and hold her side cheek which got her off guard and say “Yea, You are ‘my’ clumsily girl.” He won’t let you say anything negative about yourself slip by and you always feel loved whenever he did that.
Overall, Levi found her absolutely wonderful and her qualities far outshine some of the challenges she faces. Even while she is clumsy and stumbling, she is very skilled when it gets to use her 3D gear, she can just move around very good, flexible and easily avoids titans and Levi is kind of impressed by her skills then says “That's my girl” with a soft smile. Y/N had talent in her blood.
Okay I found this hc fanfic so cute! Levi would definitely never get mad at his girl when it comes to this since this man is very mature and understanding, and he is always willing to make sure she is doing alright and taking care of his girl <3 Levi now uses the new matching teacups every now and then and he would always gets your tea ready using them! (he would be such an excited kid whenever you both used it) so expect to have more tea time sessions with him. Anyways, I hope you and anyone else enjoyed it, and please leave a like, reblog or a message to let me know! Have a great rest of the day and ty for the support <3 
191 notes · View notes
bratkook · 3 years
Text
eleven months. (m) myg. one.
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masterlist.
pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: fluff, slow burn!!!, eventual smut, warnings: none this chapter. word count: 2.8k author’s note: this chapter is on the shorter side, just diving into them meeting and giving you all a small glimpse into them as individuals! im really excited for this story so let me know what you think, feel free to scream about anything in my inbox bye ily lmao summary: it’s been years of yoongi living his routine life, accustomed to his pace of living, going with the flow and simply existing. until you come along. yoongi absolutely can not see the logic in the way you live, but he weirdly craves it. craves the feeling of not being afraid of not knowing what’s coming, being able to just let the cards fall wherever they land. and maybe you can help with that.
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Yoongi loves the rain, really he does. The way the clouds gloom over the city, encompassing it in this darkness that reminds him of underexposed film. He wishes he could always see the world through this filter, always smell the scent of wet soil and tarmac as he makes his way through the streets. Something about hearing the soft patter hitting the sidewalk, bouncing off the rooftops and dripping from the gutters calms him. A soft smile spreads across his face as he exhales the smoke in his lungs, letting the stick hang loosely off his lips while his hands clutch onto his umbrella.
When he stomps his foot into a wide puddle, the cold water splashes up onto his ankle and he grimaces. He hates being caught in the middle of rain. It didn’t matter if he had his umbrella or not, or if he managed to bundle enough for the downpour, he hates stepping into puddles and getting his socks wet. Hates how some of the raindrops that slipped under his umbrella—since it was now raining sideways—have managed to make his cigarette slightly soggy.
Pulling the cigarette out of his mouth this time, he holds it in front of his face with a frown. It was halfway done but no longer burning properly due to how wet it had become. 
What a waste.
As he passes a trash can, he stubs it out fully and tosses it inside, a small pout on his face at the loss of something to fidget with. But then he sees the glowing sign inching closer, the bright neon yellow standing out in the grim weather. The illuminated Rkive360 in the distance stops him from slipping out another smoke, choosing to stuff his unoccupied hand into the pocket of his jeans, moving his legs a little faster to get to his destination.
The bell at the top of the door jingles as he stumbles in, his foot tripping over the small lip of the mat by the door. That was a safety hazard he’d playfully bitch to Namjoon about later. 
“Yoongi, hey!” When he balances out, closing his umbrella and giving it a good shake by the door, he looks up and grins at Taehyung. He spots him standing by a flat spread of clothes a few feet away, folding out some new items as he stares at Yoongi with a genuine smile. His curls flop over his eyes and Yoongi chuckles to himself as he wonders how a guy like him was here folding shirts when he should probably be the face of Gucci or something. 
Well, that’s life. 
“Hey man,” Yoongi mumbles out, his eyes catching the plastic bin beside the door that’s labeled ‘umbrellas here’ in a messy scribble he can only attribute to Taehyung. Not needing to be told twice, he sticks his dripping umbrella upside down into it and shuffles inside the shop, taking a minute to look around like he always did. 
Record stores have always been his safe space, even as a teenager. The amount of time spent in one after school, loitering inside with his friends as he sorted through the racks of CDs and vinyl, exiting with his bag of new goodies that left him excited to get home and play them. It was god sent that his best friend decided to open up his own place years ago, keeping it fully stocked with anything he could imagine. Maybe Yoongi was a little biased, but this was definitely the best shop in the country. 
It’s a welcoming place, pops of color in every corner, tall standing sculptures mixed in with displays of music, autographed albums and posters framed onto the wall behind the counter. It’s the full embodiment of his best friend, down to the tiny KAWS figurines perched beside the register and the music playing through the speakers. The small melody in the background fills his ears once the door is shut, recognizing the song playing as Dang! by Mac Miller and he bobs along as he approaches Taehyung.
“Quick question,” he starts, his hands coming up to shake at his gray hair that was slightly damp from the rain. Taehyung sets the shirt down, resting both of his palms on the table as he leans towards Yoongi with interest. “Any chance you guys miraculously got Seventeen Seconds in your stock this week?”
Taehyung hums in thought, his brows furrowing together as he tries to mentally sort through the massive boxes of new vinyl Namjoon had brought in a few days ago. New shipment comes once a week but every now and then Namjoon goes out of his way to find specific records, never missing with his selection. 
A small flash of blurry trees crosses his mind and then he's smiling at him. “Yeah, we actually got it the other day. Pretty sure Namjoon hunted it down for you since you’ve been asking. It should be in the back.” His thumb points behind him, towards the display tables that held all the LP’s available at the store, a very familiar spot. 
Yoongi mumbles out a thanks as he makes his way over, eyes already locked onto the bin that he knew would hold his prized possession. It’s not until he gets a few feet closer that he sees your crouched frame over a box, figure slightly hidden by a giant CD rack. You’re rummaging through the records, almost making him flinch when you quickly stand back up and find their proper spot in the display. You don’t notice him approaching until he’s right beside you, eyes once again glued to the bins lined in alphabetical order once the initial shock of another person subsided.
That’s when you give him a glance, sending him a soft smile as you slip the record in its rightful spot, crouching back down to grab the next bunch. His hand pauses on the edge of the bin at the glimpse of something familiar, momentarily distracted by your shirt. When you stand back up, feeling him staring at you, you slowly turn to face him once more with your eyebrows raised up in question.
He takes note of the tag clipped to your shirt, it reads Sana but he’s used to dealing with Sana and you are definitely not her. You’re new.
The smile remains on your lips as you rest your hip against the edge of the table holding up the record bins, preparing to put your best customer service voice to use. His eyes glance at the writing on your shirt again, cracking a grin when he confirms it's a New Order shirt tucked into your black jeans. “You like New Order?”
Your smile falters slightly, your arms crossing in front of you as you narrow your eyes at him in defense, not entirely sure how to take his tone. “If you’re about to ask me to name five of their songs I’ll have to walk away to avoid getting fired.”
His smile widens at that, soft and gummy, breaking his cold appearance as his arms raise up in front of him in surrender. “No, just an observation.”
Your demeanor softens again, your arms sagging back down to your sides and smiling once more. “Good, it's my first day on the job and I’d really like to keep it.”
Yoongi chuckles softly, going back to his searching for his precious album, leaning over the third bin dedicated to bands starting with the letter C. His nimble fingers flip through the LPs until he gets to the Cure, sorting through Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, passing Pornography until he reaches Wish and his brows furrow, flicking back and forth as if the album he wanted would magically appear.
“Need help finding something?” You speak up again when you take note of him sorting through the same chunk of vinyl. He grunts lightly, letting the stack slant back in a heap as he purses his lips.
“Yeah actually, Taehyung said you guys got the album Seventeen Seconds but I don’t see it.
You step back from reorganizing the bin labeled S, trying to remember if you had brought the record out or if it was still sitting in the second box ready to be unpacked. Your brain was already overwhelmed from all of the information you had been given on your first day, trying to unscramble the entire backroom and it’s countless boxes—most of which were unlabeled because Taehyung said it’s not necessary since he knows where everything is. 
Much like Taehyung, you recall seeing a flash of the album cover when you sorted through the new box of records, knowing exactly where it was tucked away since you had been the one to store it. You were under strict orders to not put it out on the floor, because according to Namjoon, if someone else took this album you’d be attending his funeral. 
“Oh, uh gimme a sec.” You shuffle away, leaving him behind as you approach Taehyung, still folding away. “Hey, Tae?”
He hums in question, turning to stare at you with a small smile. “Whats up?”
“That guy is asking for Seventeen Seconds but Namjoon told me he’d be murdered if I gave this out to anyone.”
Taehyung starts laughing instantly, setting the shirt down as he stares at a confused looking Yoongi still standing by the LP’s. “Yeah, he was saving it for him specifically.”
“Got it, okay. Thanks.” You make a beeline back to the tables at the back, passing Yoongi with a polite smile. “Be right back!” you exclaim, wagging your finger at him as you make your way towards the back room, clearly on a mission.
Yoongi just stands there as you enter the employee stock room, not trying to cross any professional lines and follow you since you have no idea who he is. It's only a few feet away and you left the door propped open so when a few minutes pass and he hears rustling, followed by a heavy sounding thud and some curse words, he can’t help but wander over and peak his head in.
“You okay?” he asks, leaning against the door frame with a smirk on his face when he sees the way you’re frozen, one foot on the ledge of the shelf and the other on a not so sturdy looking stool, caught in the act of a poorly made decision. Below you lay two brown boxes that carry shirts you’re meant to unpack later, definitely the cause of the loud thud he had heard.
“Yep,” you confirm as you pluck out the record you need, shoving the box back into its safe spot and hopping down haphazardly. “Here you go.”
Grabbing the record carefully, he flips it over to skim the track list and smiles widely when he looks back up at you. That familiar warmth fills his chest as he holds the new item, making him feel the same way he had as a teenager when he bought his first LP. He had been searching for this vinyl for months now. It wasn’t as if it was no longer in production, he just couldn’t seem to find it in stock anywhere he looked and buying it internationally was the last resort he would take since the shipping fees were downright illegal. “Thanks.”
You’re already hunched down on the floor as you open up one of the boxes that had fallen in your haste to scale the shelves, deciding to just unpack in now since you were here. 
“Yeah, no problem. Tae can ring you up at the front.” Sending him off with a smile and a wave, he takes that as his cue to exit, making his way to the front again. 
When he leaves the backroom you flop onto your butt with a huff, your legs sprawling out with the second box in between them. You were hoping your words didn’t come across as rude to him but you couldn’t take the way his sharp eyes stared at you. Had he lingered any longer you would have embarrassed yourself, it was a miracle your footing hadn’t slipped on your way down from the shelves. You can’t imagine your ego being able to recover from a tumble like that. 
Taehyung spots Yoongi leaning against the front counter, setting the final shirt down and going to stand behind it with a smile. “Did you find everything okay?” he asks automatically, the general phrases they had to use coming out without a thought and Yoongi scoffs, sliding the record across the counter and nodding.
“Of course I did, you let Namjoon know that I said your customer service is unmatched.” His finger gently rubs against the first black KAWS figurine, smiling at the remaining four as he remembers how Namjoon had excitedly told him that this was their friend group, representing them all perfectly. 
Taehyung grins with a roll of his eyes, scanning the album and slipping it into the brown paper bag they provided. “Wonderful. Your total is 40,000 won.”
“Wow, your customer service voice is phenomenal.”
Taehyung laughs now, his nose crinkling up at Yoongi's sarcastic tone, watching how Yoongi grins back at him, succeeding in getting him to crack. “Fuck you, man.”
“Ah, there he is.” Yoongi hums with a chuckle as he pulls out his wallet, sorting through his bills and handing them to Taehyung. “Who’s New Order girl?”
Tae raises his brows as he enters the amount into the POS, the drawer popping open against his hips. “Oh, Y/N?” Yoongi only shrugs, you had Sana’s name tag on so how the hell should he know.
Taehyung stuffs the money into the drawer and slams it shut, ripping off the receipt from the machine and slipping it into the bag. “She just started today, can’t remember where she moved from, some place far though.” He shrugs as he hands the bag over to Yoongi.
The older boy ruffles his damp hair up, accepting the bag with his right hand. “Oh, cool. Well thanks, I’ll see you guys later then?” Taehyung just waves him off with a smile, similar to the way you did and he laughs to himself when he realizes Taehyung must be the one in charge of training you.
As he approaches the front door he pulls out his pack of cigarettes once more, sliding one out and slipping it between his lips. He finds himself looking towards the back of the shop again, seeing you resuming your organization, but your head lifts up as you feel him staring at you from his spot at the door. The spark of his lighter flashes across his face when he lights up his smoke, opening his umbrella once more now that he's partially outside. When your eyes meet, he smiles around the stick, giving you a nod before turning and walking back out into the rain.
You watch as his figure disappears down the street, his dark silhouette blending in with the rest of the people roaming the city, and when you can no longer see him through the store window you turn towards Taehyung. He’s stood at the POS, fidgeting with the screen, but when you call his name he glances up at you. “Is he a regular?”
He nods in response, eyes going back to stare at the screen as he begins to print out a sheet to fulfill the online orders the store received. “Yeah, he comes in at least once a week. Buys strictly vinyl. I think Namjoon mentioned he’s a music producer, or maybe it was a DJ, I can’t remember.”
Taehyung evidently doesn’t have the best memory, that much had been made clear in the short span you’ve known him. He had forgotten your name twice during your interview, Namjoon having to subtly repeat it for him, he had also asked you three times where you were from and at first you thought he was joking but when his face remained serious you realized he had really forgotten already.
“Hey, where’d you move from again?” he asks one more, genuinely curious as if you hadn’t told him a handful of times already. 
“I told you, Iceland.” It’s a lie, but when he hums in thought—pretending to suddenly remember—you chuckle at the newfound way to mess with him. 
He’s quick to start questioning you about Iceland, nodding along to the lies you spill while you both go back to your tasks of sorting albums and folding shirts. It makes your first full shift eventful, passing jokes back and forth as the sky grows gloomier. As distracting as your conversations get, you can’t help but glance up through the windows whenever a dark clad figure walks by, the thought of the sharp eyed stranger lingering in your mind. 
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mxtcha-tea · 3 years
Text
and that's how i met you mother
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✎desc; love at first sight with shiratorizawa (honestly, not all of them are love at first sight but ignore that)
✎pairing[s]; shiratorizawa 3rd years x f!reader (separate)
✎genre; fluff, crack
✎language[s]; english
✎chef note; just an excuse for me to write lovesick boys💗 (I can’t do Shirabu, Kawanishi and Goshiki’s part cause I ran out of ideas🤸‍♀️🚆)
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Ushijima
It would just be a normal day in his class, learning and stuff like usual
Then after the teacher finished explaining and hand out the tasks, he'll went through his pencil case and couldn't seem to find any pen
Ushijima frowned at that and looked throughly in his pencil case but with no luck, there's none
He swore that he had put some inside, maybe his mind slipped a little?
A tap on his shoulder caught his attention as he turned his head around to make eye contact with you
You're holding out one of your pen to him with a neutral look,
"You can have it," Ushijima look at you surprised, does that mean he can just take it from you? That's a little absurd
But he didn't question it and nodded, slowly taking the pen from your hand and continue studying
The pen doesn't really sit right in his hand, it's not being his and literally someone else that he doesn't have the chance to talk to
He'll spare a glance at you every minute (ngl, he's complimenting your side view internally)
And when you caught him looking at him, he'll just blink and slowly look back at his work with a light blush on his cheeks
(Istg it's so cute)
After the class ends and before you can leave for lunch, Ushijima caught your attention first,
"Here, thank you for lending me this. And unfortunately, i can't take it from you"
You're just looking at him with a dumbfounded look before taking the pen from him,
"Ah, no problem, um..." "Ushijima Wakatoshi"
You nodded at that, scratching the back of your head "...Ushijima. And it's [y/n]"
Both of you are just standing there in front of each other but it's not awkward, surprisingly
It's as if you two are waiting for one of you to speak and end the convo
(Spoiler alert; none of you wanted to end the convo since both of you find each other interesting)
You cleared your throat, fiddling with your pen a little, "Okay, see you after this, Ushijima"
He nodded at that and with that, both of you went to your separate ways
'[Y/N], YOU AWKWARD BASTARD! THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING, I BET HE THOUGHT THAT YOU'RE WEIRD NOW!'
Ushijima's just walking towards the gym with a fairly visible blush across his cheeks as he look down
"Ushijima..."
"[y/n]..."
"I guess he's fine..."
"I guess she's fine..."
Ushijima Current Mission!
Trying to figure what other scenarios he can drag you in to have a convo with you again
Good luck Wakatoshi~!
Tendou
You and Tendou have talked with eachother a couple of times but it's nothing more than that
And Tendou actually want to talk more with you (at first for friendship points but y'know...)
Today, you look more beautiful than ever to him today
It's not like you're not beautiful every other day (he thinks you're pretty so that's why he kept on having a convo with you)
And he caught into that
Somehow, he can't help bet stare at you in a distance and he tried his best to avoid getting caught
(Tendou's scared that you find him creepy for looking at you all the time and he don't want that thought to flood you mind)
Then, you came to him to explain about the work your science teacher gave since she's absent for the time being
And you can bet that he doesn't hear a single thing you said because he's too focused on yourself
It's kinda like in those scenes in manga where the main character stare into the main interest
The main interest looking as beautiful as ever with flowers around them
Pretty eyes, angelic face, kissable lips
For him, you're perfect and he even thought that you might be an angel in disguise
No matter how you even see yourself, he would always think that you're fascinating, adorable, enticing—
"Tendou, are you okay?"
The redhead snapped out from his thought and got caught by you
By now, his face is literally mocking his hair color as he chuckled nervously,
"Ah, I'm fine! It's just that..."
He was about to stop mid sentences but thankfully he still got that crumbs of courage and just goes with it,
"...you look pretty today,"
Tendou said with a closed eyes smile, peeking an eye open and trying to see your reaction (ngl he's nervous)
You blinked
Before you literally exploded at that which is what make him surprised in his seat
You fake coughed, looking away and avoiding eye contact,
"Thanks...."
[love meter +10!]
If this is an actual manga or anime, there could've been hearts dancing around him
Timeskip to Tendou at his home and squealing quietly to himself (he can't let his family hear him fanboying for someone in his school lmao)
"We're totally going to marry 3 years from now on~" he says to himself in the mirror with so many confidence
(I just love it when Tendou act like that, let him have his moment)
"Haha, thank you gods for creating me and [y/n] in the same world,"
Tendou's Current Mission!
Getting to know you better and give tons and tons of compliments, just like in the simulations! Specifically otomes and dating games
Try your best Satori~!
Semi
It was another day, another practice session
Except that it went longer than Semi expected, he managed to run from the gym to the main entrance
But before he can even put on his shoes, heavy rain started pouring down
He look at the dark grey sky, resting his forehead onto the shoe locker with one shoe already in his foot while the other in his hand
Sighing, Semi thought about asking to come with Tendou and Yamagata since he didn't bring his umbrella
But on second thought, he realized that they prolly forgot theirs too
And all 3 of them have to run under the rain again like last time
Yamagata and Tendou: "We can avoid the rain if we're fast enough!"
He shivered at that their words and the thought of getting terribly sick again
And before Semi's brain can process a strategy for himself, he was caught off guard when an umbrella was opened next to him,
"Ah sorry,"
In those few seconds, everything went slow motion when your eyes catches his
(He swore it felt like in the anime)
He can feel his cheeks flushing a little but thanks to the wheater, it's not obvious
"Hello?" Semi snapped from his thoughts, shaking his head before focusing on you again,
"Sorry, sorry, um—" "You don't have an umbrella?"
He blinked, shaking his head slightly
It's a pretty peaceful staring between you two with the rain hitting the ground as background sounds
Until you lift your umbrella up, and pointed at the small spot next to you with your thumb,
"Here, I'll help you,"
"Eh?"
Semi was flabbergasted a little at your statement but would he decline it?
Of course not,
"Just tell me where your house is then I help you go there,"
And that's how he find himself back at his house's entrance with you in front of him,
"And that's why I just let you walk with me for the afternoon,"
"Is that so, oh wait! I haven't known your name, and you prolly haven't known my name either..."
He scratched the back of his neck before looking at you with a smile,
"The name's Semi Eita, thanks for the walk back home,"
Your lips parted a little before in turns into a tooth rotting smile,
"[y/n], no problem and thanks for the company, Eita,"
An arrow pierced through his heart as his face is literally the color of Tendou's hair
And just like that, you left him on the entrance with a funny expression upon his face
Cutting the scene to Semi punching his pillow (rip pillow)
"You already caught me off guard already but you really had to look at me like that...."
Semi's Current Mission!
Try to find you the next day after first period and try not to be awkward with you and his convo after the eventful day
You can do it Eita~!
Yamagata
Let's just say that,
Yamagata went through the late anime girl scenario
But with his toast falling down from his mouth while running towards his school
And his stamina almost running low despite being a volleyball player and a libero
(His house's prolly far from his school, cut him some slacks sheesh)
He's pretty much stumbling a lot when he enters the school and speed walking up the stairs
Some of the students look at him weirdly but that doesn't become his main concern because a strict teacher is going first
Yamagata's almost there, almost reaching his classroom's door
But god had other plans and place an invisible rock in front of him
And as you can tell, he slipped on it and now facepalming the floor
(The sound is so loud my lord)
He groaned, shaking a little while trying to sit up from his position
The male look up and is now face to face with you, who's looking down at him
Okay he might be delusional from the impact but is he actually looking at an angel right now?
"Dude, you okay? That's gotta hurt from the sound that it made—"
Your words drowned inside his mind as he widened his eyes with pink tints decorating his cheeks
'This...THIS IS IT!'
"—also I think your nose is bleed—"
"PLEASE MARRY ME!!"
You flinched at that but keep a calm face, a little bit concerned that he may hit his head too hard
While Yamagata is just having heart eyes for you, sparkles around him after saying those words almost too confidently
He doesn't know what's in him that make him think that you're the one,
But he definitely can feel it
You sighed, crouching down while searching through your pocket and pulling out a small pack of tissues,
"I think we're going so fast right now but no, maybe 5 years later or never,"
"Does that mean you agree??"
"I don't know, you're handsome but also stupid, a himbo I think,"
You wipe away the blood dripping down his nose, taking his arm, opening it and put the bloodied tissue on it before closing it, giving a light tap,
"Now go to the nurse office,"
"Will you be there for me?"
"No,"
You help him stand up, dusting his shoulder and walk away as if nothing happened
Yamagata watches you from the distance with a lovesick smile
Tendou laughed behind him with Ushijima and Reon next to him and Semi looking at Yamagata, confused,
"Hayato, I have no idea if you had your alarm on but you just came to school during recess,"
"She's perfect...also, I think I need to go to the nurse right now cause my head hurts,"
Yamagata's Current Mission!
Marry [y/n]
Have fun, Hayato~!
Reon
(He will have the best love at first sight cause I say so)
It was the school festival and it's lively in every corner of the school, the outside, inside the classrooms, even the hallways
Reon had just finished his part of his classroom and now can walk around to enjoy the festival
Honestly, it's a pretty normal day to him despite being the school's festival
The students of Shiratorizawa has always been this lively so it's good that they can be keep the atmosphere as how it is like any other days
Since the others are still working on their parts, Reon was all by himself
Sure, the quiet sounds without Tendou, Semi and Yamagata is fine but he prefer it being loud anyway
A short of way to fill in the boring silence
But what's the bad thing to enjoy the peace once in a while?
So he take a small walk outside the Shiratorizawa building
Stalls decorated the outside with students busy serving the customers
He was greeted by some of them as he greeted them back with a warm smile
Hands inside his pocket while looking at the sky every few seconds
Baby blue sky with fluffy white clouds, it is the spring afterall
It was at that moment where he turn his head around and caught your eyes
It was something between those few seconds that a lighting strike between the string connecting you two for a second
Reon knew he did from the moment you two clashed with each other so suddenly
It was...not love at first sight exactly,
But rather, familiarity, like,
'Oh, hello, it's you. It's going to be you,'
The staring prolly lasted more than he expected before you snapped out from your thought, shaking your head,
"Sorry! Didn't mean to..." "But you didn't do anything?" He rose an eyebrow, smiling sheepishly and watch your panic slowly dissolves
"Well, technically yeah but It was bad of me to stare off at you like that,"
He chuckled, your heart clenching at that,
"Don't worry, I think I did it too...maybe both of us did,"
"Ah, yeah! Probably..." you fiddled with your fingers, visibly nervous facing him since he's basically a stranger even tho being in the same school,
"Reon Oohira," "Eh?" You look at him with confusion at first, while he just offers you a smile,
"My name, since we have...how to say it, meet each other? And I don't want to make you uncomfortable after all that so I think it's best if we introduce ourselves,"
Your heart's basically beating out loudly that you'll afraid that he'll hear it
But, that doesn't seem so bad, does it?
You mirrored his smile, this time more confidently than before,
"[y/n] [l/n], nice to meet you Reon!"
"Please,"
Reon put his hand onto your head, "Just call me Hira,"
You fainted
"She's interesting, I love her,"
Reon's Current Mission!
Get to know you better and honestly, there's nothing else to do after that other than asking you out
You'll do great, Oohira~!
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ryukyuan-sunflower · 3 years
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Romance in Samurai Champloo: The Mirror Reflection of Jin and Shino and Mugen and Fuu
Upon re-watching Episode 11, I was utterly shocked by how many parallels exist between Mugen and Jin as characters, in regards to their relationship with the most important women of their journey. The interactions and concepts are near identical. These specific themes and interactions were only exhibited with two specific women, and no other characters in the series.
In episode 11, Jin falls in love with Shino: a courtesan who was forced into prostitution due to her lousy, abusive husband's gambling debt. Jin later saves Shino from this brothel, and helps her escape to a divorce temple.
Canonically, it was stated in the Samurai Champloo Roman Album by Shino’s character designer that Jin does indeed "fall for" her, so it was not simply chivalry that led him to help her. This echoes his actual dialogue in episode 11:
Fuu: I understand why you pity her but-
Jin: It’s not pity.
It is not pity, because it is love.
So, here is the INSANE number of ways Jin's confirmed romantic dynamic with Shino is an uncanny mirror to Mugen's subtle romantic dynamic with Fuu.
Warning: There is a LOT of comparisons. I was honestly so surprised and have a whole new level of respect for this anime now, and specifically Episode 11.
Enjoy the read!
The First Meeting: Saving the Girl and Reading Her Mind
Both Mugen and Jin save a woman’s life at their first encounter. Both also know the girl is in trouble without ever being told.
Both Fuu and Shino reject the notion that they need help. But it is revealed later that they do.
Jin meets Shino on a bridge and saves her life. She confesses much later, that she had been contemplating suicide, but because he stopped to talk with her, she did not go through with it. 
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Never did Shino ever show any indication she wanted to drown herself, other than looking at the canal. Jin just knew the moment he walked by.
Mugen meets Fuu in the tea house and saves her life. The magistrate's son was going to have her mutilated and killed. But because Mugen talked with her, she was able to strike a deal of killing them for 100 dumplings.
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Never did Fuu tell Mugen that the guys were giving her trouble. Mugen just knew the moment he walked in.
In addition to this first meeting, Jin also stops Shino’s husband from beating her. Mugen also stops Umanousuke from beating Fuu in Episode 25.
Thinking in the Rain: Love Interest Trapped in a Brothel
Previously, in Episodes 3+4, Fuu was thrown into a brothel, just like Shino's predicament in episode 11.
After Mugen skips town and ditches the Yakuza, the thought of Fuu stuck in the brothel invades his mind, and compels him to turn back.
Note: Jin never thinks about Fuu stuck in the brothel.
After being unable to afford Shino, Jin is beaten by bouncers and trudges away, thinking about how Shino is sleeping with another man.
Both of these incidences occur during heavy rain. 
Both think about their love interests trapped in the brothel which leads them to return to save them.
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The Brothel Escape.
Both Mugen and Jin attempt to break their love interests out of a brothel.
On the second night they spend together, Jin concocts a plan to sneak Shino out of the brothel.
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Never one to be discrete, Mugen’s plan to save Fuu involves breaking into the brothel, kicking open the cage doors, and pulling her out. However, to keep the MugenxFuu romance subtle and to have shippers rip their hair out Fuu escapes alone, and she never finds out about Mugen’s wild attempt to get her back. So, we never get the obviously romantic scene of him grabbing her arm and whisking her away. We just know that poor Mugen tried.
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There is evident blood on his sword. He killed a person or multiple people to get back to her.
Mugen could have taken and freed any of these lovely ladies. But no.
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Note: Jin is seen putting no effort into saving Fuu at all. When Jin initially sneaks into the brothel of Episode 3+4 disguised as a woman, he had no idea Fuu was there at the time. He was just helping the boy Sousuke save Osuzu. Later, even when he sees Fuu there, Jin never is shown putting in any effort to rescue her, nor thinking about it. If we assume he intended to, with his roundabout way of being involved with the Kawara gang, (who he was already helping anyway), Fuu would have already been bought by a client, because she was. (luckily the client did not have sex with her). 
If this isn't enough of a mirror, Fuu and Shino escape the brothel in the exact same way: tying a series of clothes to the porch and sliding out the window.
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Giving Up One’s Sword For a Woman
Shown in both episodes 6 and 8, Jin is extremely protective of his katana, saying that his swords are the equivalent of his soul as a samurai. 
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He adamantly refuses to part with them for any reason. He is also shown in episodes 14, 16 and 20 diligently polishing them.
On a different note, Mugen is not shown taking care of his swords as meticulously as Jin, nor as protectively. He is willing to pawn them off if it means being able to eat: shown in episode 6 and episode 8.
But his sword is no less important to Mugen, as he is shown carrying the same sai handled tsurugi in his flashbacks in the Ryukyuan Islands, implying he had carried it for a long time. For Mugen, the sword has nothing to do with some code of bushido, or philosophy. It serves the fundamental purpose of keeping him alive, which is something Mugen constantly struggles with.
In a brothel, swords are not allowed, as it is unsafe for the courtesans if there happened to be a violent client. 
In Episode 25, Umanousuke is about to kill Fuu when Mugen arrives.
To spend time with Shino and free her, Jin willingly gives up his swords.
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To save Fuu’s life and free her, Mugen gives up his sword in Episode 25.
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Note: The only other example we have of Jin “giving up his swords” is comedy when Mugen and Fuu confiscates his swords against his will, so they can enter an eating contest in Episode 6.
Interestingly, the two men gave up their swords under reversed circumstances, yet with the same intentions.
Jin, who has always cherished his katana, ends up giving them up in a moment that he logically "shouldn't". He does what could be considered a frivolous activity of spending time with a prostitute, which completely goes against his personal code as a samurai.
Mugen, who had always been willing to give up his sword for the sake of survival, finally needs to keep his sword, or he will be brutally tortured and killed by Umanousuke. But instead, he gives it up anyway in this extremely critical moment, to save Fuu's life.
In the end, both men resorted to giving up their swords for one simple reason: love.
Red and Pink Color Composition
This one was very surprising for me, and the reason I ended up writing this entire post. The other examples until now are more obvious. But this? Mugen and Fuu's main colors are obviously red and pink. But...Jin and Shino?
Shino’s kimono color is light green, with a dark green collar. Jin’s color is dark blue.
However, when Shino is put in the brothel and takes on the name “Kohana”, she is seen throughout the majority of the episode wearing pink, with a burgundy collar. This is exactly Fuu’s kimono colors, and no other character in the series wears these colors that I can recall.
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More interesting, is Shino’s brothel name becomes “Kohana”. 
Kohana means “Flower Child”. 
Fuu is the child of the “Sunflower Samurai”. 
For the first time, I was suddenly faced with a serious question of "Was this name choice and kimono color put as a symbolism of Jin choosing to buy a woman that resembled Fuu?" And in turn, would this be one solid way to disprove so much that I've always thought and written about Jin being the father figure to Fuu?
But, then I noticed something else.
Shino only wears this pink and burgundy kimono in the brothel. It is not her true outfit. 
And it is not only her who gets a "change" in appearance. Jin does too, in a sense. He gets an addition to his ensemble, only for this particular episode.
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Every time Jin visits Shino in pink, he carries a bright red umbrella. Whenever she is in green, he does not have the umbrella. He visits her on four separate occasions when she’s a courtesan, always with the umbrella in tow.
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The red umbrella is visually striking, as the atmosphere of this episode is particularly drab due to the rainfall.
The red umbrella becomes the connection between Jin and Shino during her stay in the brothel. It is significant, because it was initially hers, and was a gift to him since she had no use for it in the brothel anymore.
One can argue, “It’s raining and he just needed an umbrella.” But during his depressing walk, he carries it, but doesn't even use it, and we don’t even get to see it or its striking red color. (Which I will explain my interpretation as to why shortly).
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We only know he’s holding it, because he continues to have it afterwards.
It is far more a symbol of his connection to her, than for practical use. Watching the episode, everyone else has drab brown and gray umbrellas. Even in Episode 4, Jin donned a drab brown umbrella.
In Japanese culture, red is famously the color that represents the “main character”. This is extremely common in many anime and video games, and particularly shown in the Super Sentai genre, in which every season since 1975 to present, the main character always dons red.
In the case of Samurai Champloo as well, Mugen is confirmed to be the “main character”, first developed by Shinichiro Watanabe, with Jin created later as his foil so the story did not become “one dimensional”, as he said. This is why most episodes focus on Mugen. 
Episode 11 is the very first episode that focuses on Jin. Up until this point, Jin was never a rescuer. (He doesn’t even rescue Fuu until Episode 26).
With Shino, he finally fulfills the "noble hero saving the maiden" role.
More interesting, is the scene where the brothel bouncers attack Jin, who intentionally decides not to fight back. Jin loses his grip on the umbrella. This is my personal interpretation, but I think this could be a representation that Jin could not protect Shino, as she is forced to have sex moments later.
If it were Mugen being attacked, he would kill the men, repercussions or not, just as he did to the Yakuza in Episode 4. Mugen will always embody the “passionate red” that he wears.
But it does not suit Jin. He has chosen the lawful path, unlike Mugen’s chaotic nature of killing whoever stands in his way. Jin does not kill these men, since he has no reasonable cause, and does not risk the repercussions. It is his own fault, not theirs, that he can’t purchase or protect Shino.
In this scene, he not only drops the red umbrella, but Shino also drops her pink robes when she is undressed. They are not red and pink: they are not Mugen and Fuu. They are back to the cruel reality of being a different, more tragic tale of love in which he can’t protect her.
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One of the attackers even picks up the umbrella, and throws it at him, as if to add more injury to insult in his failure.
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In the ending of the episode, Shino no longer wears pink and burgundy, and is back in her original green kimono. Interestingly, Jin stops using this red umbrella at the exact same point she is back in green. 
Since Shino is no longer a “maiden in distress in pink”, Jin no longer needs to be the “hero in red”. They no longer have to play this role. Their episode is at its close. The anime will return to Mugen and Fuu carrying out the dynamic of “hero and maiden”. 
Jin will once again, play the role as the cool and collected “rival in blue” that foils the main protagonist.
One could still argue these color choices of red and pink were random and thoughtless. They very well could be. But, this is a Watanabe work, and colors often hold surprising symbolism in the anime he directs.
As a more solid example of color symbolism: here is a link to a fascinating video that reveals just how intentional the color palette is in Samurai Champloo's Episode 14. The choice of Mukuro's yellow versus Mugen's red and the episode ending on Koza in gray was all deliberate and was repeatedly shown in the episode's composition through various means, to subtly convey the story.
Flashing the Coin and “Buying”a Woman
Jin is shown to be the character who makes/finds money for the group the most. Even in this episode, he was working for the eel stand. Mugen meanwhile, makes money and spends it selfishly. But in this episode, it is Mugen making the money and Jin demanding it for a selfish purpose, reversing their roles once again. Jin is the main character now, and Mugen the foil.
Mugen flaunts the coin he made to impress Fuu, demanding her validation by tapping her head.
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Jin flaunts the same exact coin (Mugen gave it to him), in a very similar way, to show he’s buying Shino.
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Both men, in essence, are "buying time with a woman".
While Jin is, in a literal sense, using the money to purchase a prostitute, Mugen's is more figurative.
Mugen gives the money to Jin, causing him to go away, and leaving him and Fuu alone. Once Jin is back, they will once again be a trio, and the “pairing dynamic” between them will be shattered. But for that brief night, Mugen got time with Fuu.
Mugen, despite acting like he detests Fuu's company, does some very strange and completely uncharacteristic things in this episode. For one...he is the one to bring Fuu to the beetle wrestling match. Her dialogue implies she didn't want to go and Mugen dragged her along.
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Then, despite being all stingy about the money with Fuu, he willingly gives the money to Jin to send him away to go to a brothel. For a man Mugen claims to despise, this is a remarkably thoughtful act. Especially when he said he was going to use the money to buy seeds to make more in beetle wrestling. Strangest of all, Mugen doesn't use the money himself for a prostitute. He chooses to stay at an inn, alone with Fuu, rather than the prospect of going to the brothel in town, even when he’s repeatedly shown being a womanizer.
I think this act shows both his selfish desire to spend time with Fuu alone, but also his selfless care for Jin as a friend. He killed two birds with one stone. In both cases, these are things Mugen would never admit to his companions.
With the exchange of that on koban coin between them, both Mugen and Jin have "bought time" with their respective love interests.
Helping to Save Each Other's Love Interest.
In every episode Fuu gets into trouble, Mugen is the one who saves Fuu, if she isn’t saving herself. Jin does not. But there is one exception to this: Episode 26. Jin saves Fuu for the first time, in the one moment Mugen can't, while also simultaneously avenging his father figure Mariya Enshirou.
In episode 11, Jin does not have his swords on him. But Mugen and Fuu arrive. Mugen cuts down many men to help them escape. And in addition, he knocks down a man right in front of Shino that Jin failed to incapacitate, before telling Jin “You’re pathetic!”
The Windowsill and the Mirror in the Same Room
This one is a very, VERY minor comparison, so don’t take this one seriously. I just thought the imagery was similar.
In Episode 18, where Mugen attempts to win Fuu in a tagging contest (yes, that was actually the plot: Here's a Post About It), Mugen and Fuu spend a small moment in the inn room alone.
In this inn room, Fuu is looking at herself in the mirror, when Mugen appears behind her. 
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Their faces are wonderful.
In the brothel room, Shino also looks in the mirror, when Jin is shown behind her.
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Alone with their love interests, they sit on windowsills. 
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Again, very, very minor and I highly doubt it was intentional. But there is no other moment of window sill sitting that I can recall.
There is one other gazing into a mirror though: the end credits of Fuu and her mother. This relates her mother to Shino, aside from the fact that they have the same exact hair and wear green kimonos, and who are in love with a poor samurai who ends up wearing gray.
Parting Ways
In the defining moment of Jin and Shino parting, there is a distance of water separating them. But Jin must let her go to the temple to be free of the marriage: her final goal.
In the defining moment of Mugen and Fuu parting, a distance of the Church with Umanousuke is in the way, separating them. But Mugen tells her to go see her Sunflower Samurai: her final goal.
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Neither Jin and Shino or Mugen and Fuu are allowed to touch or to embrace before this forced goodbye.
Jin is the one to push the boat away, even when Shino tries to reach out to him.
Mugen is the one who urges Fuu to run, even when Fuu hesitates and wants to stay.
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Both Shino and Fuu are reluctant to leave Jin and Mugen behind.
Mugen and Jin remain stoic, even when their emotions must be running wild.
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Fuu and Shino’s eyes well up, until they are unable to hold in the tears.
“The Love Triangle” Dilemma: A Lousy Gambler, A Noble Samurai and a Pure Maiden
Now, I am not saying that Mugen, Fuu and Jin is an actual love triangle. I firmly believe it isn't, as I have shown the evidence of the two romances above.
But I believe in Mugen's mind, there is a love triangle, and he’s the odd one out.
Yes, there is a sense that Fuu has insecurity about Jin's abandonment and is jealous of his attention to Shino. Personally though, I think this is in more relation to her father's abandonment, as Jin and Shino strikingly resemble Fuu's father and mother. Jin even gets Fuu’s father’s kimono in Episode 26, and likely his katana too, as his were broken.
But that aside, the relationship dynamics going on in Episode 11 are painfully satirical.
Shino, her husband, and Jin are an ugly representation of Fuu, Mugen, and Jin.
Jin is interfering with both of these "couples".
Shino's husband is an avid gambler, who fell into debt, causing her to be thrown into prostitution. It is no coincidence that Mugen is avidly gambling throughout this episode, and being chastised by Fuu. 
Fuu’s words to Mugen are Shino’s words to her husband.
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Mugen is being portrayed as the "lesser man", lacking in morals, while Jin takes on the mantle of the “gallant knight”. This again relates to the earlier concept that Jin has for the first time assumed the position as the “main character”.
This is likely why they chose “Gamblers and Gallantry” as the English title for Episode 11. Note that Gamblers is plural. (Also, the original Japanese title is Fallen Angel).
Fuu’s “jealousy” in this episode is used in the narrative to make Mugen believe she loves Jin, and not him. We see this again, in Episode 20. The one and only time Fuu cries for Jin is comical, compared to her over five emotional times for Mugen, still causes Mugen to stomp off with jealousy and annoyance.
Our first indicator of Mugen harboring jealousy of Jin stems from Episode 11 and piles up more as the show goes on.
There is three separate implied occasions in this specific episode 11.
1. Mugen states that Fuu is jealous that Jin is seeing Shino. But when he says this, it is him to roll over away from her. It is almost a blatant indicator that he is sulking. Then, he feigns sleeping and snoring.
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We know his sleeping is fake because upon closer inspection....
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His eyes are open and his eyebrows are furled angrily. This “faking sleep” is a trick he repeats three times total in the anime, always concerning Jin and Fuu.
2. When Fuu gets upset at Jin about leaving the group for good, Mugen pretends to sleep yet again, but was listening to the whole thing.
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His facial expression is almost sad looking here. Very uncharacteristic indeed.
Note: The very last time Mugen pretends to sleep, is Episode 24, when Fuu hugs Jin on the riverbank. It appears here, that Mugen didn't hear or understand what they were talking quietly about. The dialogue is hard to interpret but it seems Fuu rejected Jin’s dutiful offer to stay with her after the journey close. She seems to confide her feelings for Mugen to Jin in this extremely subtle scene, by mentioning him out of the blue, crying, and then apologizing to Jin for it. Rather than embrace Fuu romantically, Jin comforts her with a hand upon her shoulder, in an understanding that is, by my interpretation, very fatherly.
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3. Back to Episode 11, when Fuu decides to help Jin, despite being angry at him for abandoning them, Mugen says some telling dialogue. This scene, Mugen and Fuu are running through town together, just as Jin and Shino are.
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If Mugen only stuck around solely to kill Jin, then this exchange makes one question why is he still hanging around Fuu. We also know Mugen was listening the whole time when Jin states "If I don’t return, I want you two to continue your journey without me." It is as if he's trying to convince Fuu to be "over" with Jin.
But this isn't the only time Mugen is fine with taking Fuu to find the sunflower samurai alone. Mugen also agrees to travel with Fuu in ep 21 alone, when they think Jin is leaving for good with Sara, and makes no indication of leaving her to do battle with Jin.
Despite all the jealousy of Jin, and all the intentional comparison that Mugen bears with Shino's husband, we know Mugen is not actually like Shino's husband at all. 
On the surface, perhaps, he seemed like an irresponsible, lawless lecher who frivolously wastes money. But in actuality, he is honorable and deeply cares about Fuu, saving her and worrying about her in every single episode something bad befalls her.. Mugen does more noble deeds for Fuu than Jin ever does. 
While “Gamblers” apply to Mugen and Shino’s husband, the “Gallantry” applies to Mugen and Jin just as much. 
That is why, unlike Shino’s husband, Mugen wins in gambling. And that is why, despite making money gambling, he generously gave it all to Jin.
The secretly gallant character of this episode was Mugen. Had he not given/borrowed this money to Jin, Jin would have never been able to save Shino at all.
How the Relationships Differ
While these comparisons highlight that Jin and Shino is equivalent to Mugen and Fuu, there are some directly opposite characteristics as well. Just as Mugen and Jin are opposite.
Jin and Shino are calm and quiet.  Mugen and Fuu are passionate and loud.
Jin and Shino wear cold colors of green and blue, while Mugen and Fuu don warm colors of red and pink.
Shino is older than Jin. Fuu is younger than Mugen.
While Shino is forced to give herself to men and Jin can’t save her, Fuu is saved from this fate many times by Mugen.
Mugen and Fuu spend an entire, long journey together. Jin and Shino’s time together is fleeting. Mugen and Fuu appear together every episode. Jin and Shino only get one.
Ironically, Jin and Shino consummate their love in this short time, while Mugen and Fuu do not.
The relationships are remarkably the same story but from opposite ends of a spectrum.
Conclusion 
Mugen and Jin may be opposites, but they are also like Yin and Yang. Both characters are a duality of one another, possessing opposite traits in their appearances and attitudes, and yet bearing similar beliefs and morals. In the love department, it turns out that they are also two sides of the very same coin.
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After discovering the parallels between these two romances, I was utterly blown away. This concept of duality is the entire point of Mugen and Jin’s dynamic in every other sense.
The love they bore for Fuu and Shino highlighted this concept in another new, astonishing way.
Mugen and Jin both bear something else in common. Even though Jin and Shino is far more an obvious romance due to the sexual consummation of the coupling, Jin and Mugen still relate in one way: they never directly express their love for Shino or Fuu words.
Jin comes off as “old fashioned” with his “I hope that the rain will never stop so I can stay here forever.”, Mugen comes off as “unromantic” by never saying kind and romantic words to Fuu. Their love was wholly expressed through action. Words are unneeded.
Finally, even though Jin and Shino part ways, and even though Mugen and Fuu (and Jin) part in the finale, hope still exists that they will meet again someday. 
Both tales of love do not have tragic endings, but neither does either obtain closure. Their hopeful future is left up to you, the viewer, to determine.
Perhaps, their reunions with their loved one, will be a mirror too.
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syndxlla · 3 years
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Part nine of the More to Love series
Summary: Plans for the ball are in full swing, the concealment of your relationship with the knight dwindles and you make a deal with one another that leads to both of you learning a new and valuable skill
Word Count: 8.9k, NO USE OF ‘Y/N’
Warnings: SMUT (oral sex F receiving, fingering, multiple orgasms), swearing, mentions of wounds
Author’s Note: and we’re back to your regularly scheduled royalty and princesscore writings. this chapter is very chill honestly, but i still really enjoyed writing it! there’s also the introduction of THE DRESS. y’all this dress is insane you really aren’t ready i am OBSESSED with this dress.
Part eight
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“Are you listening, Princess?” You hadn’t even realized you had zoned out. Your cheek was bright red from resting against your palm, and your eyes had glazed over with boredom. You hoped you didn’t look too uninterested, but considering the literal Queen of Mandalore looked down at you with folded arms and one arched eyebrow, you were less than confident that you looked engrossed in the conversation.
The Queen, Lady Reeves and yourself have been inside a yellow-themed parlor all morning discussing plans for the ball. Your Knight stood patiently by the door, overseeing the entire meeting. You wore a long sleeve dress that was too hot for the summer sun, which was slowly drying out the mud and puddles from then two-day long rainstorm that no one predicted. You spent the entire day yesterday pretending to rest from the exhausting day previous, but you were really hiding your arm from everyone else. You tried to argue with Koska that a long sleeve in the middle of summer would look for more suspicious than a simple bandage on your bicep, but she disagreed to say the least. The Knight stopped limping this morning, although you were convinced he was just faking it for good measure. If others knew he was injured, it could raise suspicion that you were too. You also think he didn’t want you to worry about him. The stab wound really wasn’t that deep, but you knew it had to have hurt more than he was showing. You thought he should take a few days off to rest his leg and to really spend time with his son, but he refused to.
You look up from your emotionless stare out the window, which showed the sea in the distance. The ocean was so different here compared to what it’s like in Corellia. There are sandy beaches and the water’s warm, whereas back home, it’s often frozen over, and is lined with rocky fjords and coves. You wanted to go down to one of those beaches soon if you could. They looked relaxing and much more intruiging than a wordy meeting that you stopped listening in on Lord knows when.
“Sorry, I just… zoned out for a minute.” You clear your throat, looking up at the ginger above you. You bat your eyelashes, trying do play off innocent and truthful. She shrugged, and turned around to pull something out of Koska’s hands.
“I was saying that now that we have the food and decor arranged for the ball, we can talk about the important things.” She says as she whips around for the big reveal that you weren’t expecting: iher arms was the most extravagant, fluffy gown you had ever seen. It was a soft rose gold, the skirt was huge and round, tulle pillowing out from the bodice which had clearly been hand-beaded by nimble fingers to have five-pedaled flowers with curly vines growing out of them. There was a soft sweet-heart neckline, the lace and beading of the bodice came up past the structure to overlap where your skin would be, The sleeves were off the shoulder, which was common for Mandalorian summer gowns. The skirt had a soft hint of sparkles and real diamonds had been sewn into the centers of each flower along the gown.
You perked up as you saw the ornament, your attention being drawn from the crashing waves of the ocean to the prettiest dress you had ever seen. You think you sighed, but you weren’t really sure. Dresses have always been a part of your life, designers from all over the world would send you their best sets, and it’s rare for you to wear the same gown more than once. This isn’t the first time you had been presented with a dress that costed more than some of the houses in the kingdom, but there was something different about it. It had a special glow to it, unlike anything you had ever seen.
“Her Radiance Ahsoka brought it, it’s a wedding gift from the Woodland elves.” Koska speaks up when she sees your reaction. Both her and the Queen were amused at your childlike awe. “That’s why it has that shimmer, they used silk spinners and gold.”
“I… I can’t accept this.” You wanted to, but you were desperately trying to be humble and calm in this situation. The dresses never meant that much to you, it’s just a piece of clothing. You have always been far more into the politics that came with royalty, not the fashion, so this was a first.
“Well of course you can.” The queen chuckled, “It would be rude not to.” You wished you could tell her that wearing such an extravagance would feel in vain because you did not feel affection towards the person you’ll be wearing it for. However, you supposed she was right, it would be rude to turn down a gift from the literal elves. You stand up from where you sat, walking over the dress that took your breath away. You wondered what the Knight thought of it, and you turn around to look at him. You know that he wouldn’t show any type of reaction over this thing, especially if the Queen is watching, but you wanted to show him that you were thinking of him. You smiled, raising your eyebrows to really show how beautiful you thought the gown was, you’ll get to talk about it with him later. This is the second time Koska see’s something like this between the two of you, and she first looks at you, and the knight, raising a sharp eyebrow.
You place your hand over the fabric, running your palm over it. You did nothing to deserve this, but you were honored that it’s yours. “It’s like a faerie’s dress.” You sigh. “It’s wonderful, when can I thank her Radiance?”
“She’s out and about, she usually meditates in the gardens on sunny days, I can retrieve her, if you’d like.” Koska speaks up.
“Oh that’s alright, I’ll find her eventually.” You smile.
“Interesting that you brought up the fae…” The Queen brings up, “Allow me to ask, it is your engagement ball, is there anything specific you would like to have incorporated?” A few days ago, you would have had no answer, because a few days ago there was nothing about Mandalore worth it to you. However, things have changed. You’ve spent sleepless nights thinking about the boy in the beskar armor, and you would give anything to dance with him at that ball. You knew damn well that if you asked nicely, and maybe gave him head in return, he would do almost anything you asked. He would happily dance with you alone in the room after the events of the night, although you weren’t even sure if he knew how to dance. You did want to waltz with him, but not in that way.
So, last night you stayed up late, laying on your back with the balcony doors just cracked open to let in the smell fo fresh rain and a cool breeze into the hot room, thinking about him. You especially thought about the soft skin of his thighs and the way he shuddered when you raked your fingernails down his abdomen. But you also thought about how you could dance with him at the ball, where everyone could see. You knew that you would be dancing with far more people than Korkie, it would be many people’s last (and only) chance to dance with you before you’re married, and so you’re expected to give everyone the opportunity and attention they desired. It wasn’t your favorite thing you’d have to do, especially considering you would be dancing with a number of complete strangers and total creeps of Viziers, Grand Dukes and old viscounts who would probably whisper dirty things in your ear. And that is part of why you wanted this one thing for yourself so badly.
Dancing with a mysterious stranger wouldn’t be a problem. You wanted to share your affection towards him, and you especially wanted him to see you in your true element of balls and parties and gowns and tiaras. You knew it was risky, especially considering you can hardly control yourself around him, who knows what the crowd may be whispering as you dreamily look up at him. But after having to move and change your entire life, marry a man you resent in a kingdom that goes against everything you’ve ever believed in, you owe yourself this one thing. Just this one.
However, dancing with a literal knight would be far too suspicious and obnoxious for the biggest event in the western part of the world. And you knew that he would never remove his helmet, even if his life depended on it. It would be no easy feat to convince him to do something like that in such little time, but that’s when you got the best idea to have possibly ever cross your mind.
When you were just a little girl, your nursery caretaker would sit you on her lap when you had droopy, tired eyes, and read you a story. You can’t remember what it was called, it’s been so long since you heard it, but it was your favorite. It was the tale of the masquerade ball where the young peasant girl fell in love with the handsome magician. You were always drawn into it, because you once hoped you would fall in love with a mysterious and handsome man, too.The point of the story was that she never saw his face, as they both had on extravagant swan masks covering their eyes. If everyone had their face covered, it wouldn’t look suspicious if he did, too. You knew it would be a big thing to ask, and he may not even agree to it if the Queen approves of the short-noticed theme, but you wanted to live at least one night as the young peasant girl.
“Yes, actually.” You began to reply, “I would love for my engagement ball to be a masquerade.” You made sure to add in the ‘my’ to reinstate that it is for you. The Queen stopped to consider what you asked, and Koska looked suprised. It’s rare for anyone to ask the Queen for something like that out flat. But, she was the one who brought it up.
The Queen made you wait in suspense for her answer, and every fiber of your being wanted to turn around and wink at the knight to let him know that you asked for him, but even you, the naive princess, knew that you needed to be more careful with sharing your memories with him when others are around. “I suppose we could arrange that.” She thinks out loud, and you can’t stop the smile that stretches across your face. The Queen really only agreed because she knew it would cause more buzz and conversation around her last event as Queen. Even you could see that, but if it meant you would get a chance to share the memory with your guard, it was worth it.
“Your Majesty, forgive me, but the ball is this weekend, I fear we will not have enough time to prepare for such a change in plans…” Koska spoke up.
“Well, not if we don’t have everyone in the palace working double time,” Both yours and Koska’s faces dropped, that is not what you wanted at all. “Every servant will be required to make ten masks before the ball on Saturday. Knights are exempt, obviously.” She placed the rose gold dress back in Koska’s arms. You immediately felt guilty.
“Oh that won’t be necessary, Your Majesty, I don’t want everyone to-“
“Oh nonsense,” She interrupted, “I love the masquerade idea, it will be grand. It will be the envy of Coruscant.” Was everything a battle for her? An endless contest of who’s the best between Mandalore and Coruscant? If everyone had extra work to do on top of their usual load, you would feel absolutely terrible, but there would be no changing the Queen’s mind. “As the head of the servants, you will oversee the masks, Lady Reeves.” Your face was in shock, pale and sick. Koska shot you an annoyed glare. You tried to respond with an apologetic smile, but the Queen was speaking up again, pacing as she spoke. “Of course we need the royals to stand out from everyone else, we’ll already have our gowns but the masks will make a difference too…” She thought out loud. “Koska I would like an owl mask as per usual, there will be gems incorporated as well I trust?”
“Yes, your Majesty.” She was not amused with her new task.
“As for our little Princess,” She was referring to you, but you couldn’t even listen out of guilt. Everything you tried in Mandalore somehow backfired on you. “Her dress is lovely, but her mask must also be the most extravagant in the room, after mine, of course. It would also be best if hers and my nephew’s matched, Yes?” Koska nodded, struggling to hold the heavy dress with her small stature. “Lovely, aren’t you just full of surprises, Your Highness?” The Queen smiled at you, and you forced a polite smile. “Now, excuse me, I have a designer to meet with to get as many feathers and adornments for masks as possible.” The redhead hastily exits the room, her high guard following her, leaving just you and Koska with your knight.
“What the fuck was that about?” Koska asked afterwards.
“I didn’t mean for any of the extra work to happen, I swear.” You defensively respond.
“You just love giving me a hard time, don’t you?” She asks.
“No- that not at all what-“
“Let her be, Koska.” Your knight steps into the conversation.
“Ugh you knights are so frustrating sometimes.” She rolls her eyes. “I mean, what is going on with you two?” She asks and your heart drops to your ass. Was it that obvious there was something more there? Your knight tensed up, too. “Yeah, I can see exactly what’s going on here. Would either of you like to explain?” She asks.
The two of you stood awkwardly like children who got caught stealing sweets from the kitchen. You wondered how you were going to get out of this one. Your entire world could come crashing down right now if you didn’t play this out correctly, and a thousand outcomes of this situation simultaneously played out in your head. Would she rat you out? Would it lead to your knights expulsion? Or would she keep it to herself? She seemed to have a history with your knight, although you didn’t know what that might be. Maybe she would be on your side, but you highly doubted it.
You blame yourself for all of this. You should have put a stop to all of this long ago, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. He has you tied around your finger, and you like it. You wondered what was going on through his mind, was he as nervous as you? He had to be, if not more worried about what would happen. Someone knowing about your secret relationship would only lead to you getting a tap on your knuckles and then they would try to hide it from society to keep your reputation clean, but it would be the end of his career and safety for him. You were selfish for this, and you knew it.
“What?” Is all your stupid mouth says. As if you hadn’t just had the most sporadic and stressful thought process of your entire life. After all that, the only thing you were able to come up with was “what?”. You thought your body might be shaking, but you weren’t totally sure. You wanted to look at the knight by your side, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Koska must have thought the same thing as you because after you just responded with an arrogant rhetorical question, her eyebrows raised like a mother angry with her teenage son. She scoffs, and walks to the other side of the parlor to place the gown down on a sofa. When her back was turned to you, you were somehow able to muster up the courage to look at the beskar-clad figure to your left. He didn’t look any different than, well, ever. Tall and broad and stoically looking ahead as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. But you knew better. He had to have had a similar thought process to your own. He never turned to look back at you, and that’s when the guilt really set in. This could have been prevented. It should have been prevented. You fiddle with your sleeve.
Koska comes back too soon, her arms folded over her chest and the same unamused look on her stupidly perfect face. “So, one of you better start talking now, or else I’m going to get impatient and go catch up with the Queen to do your chore.” She nods to you. Why was she doing this? What did she gain out of knowing any of this? It could be to protect Korkie, although you found that seriously hard to believe. From what you can tell, Koska could care less about the Mandalorian Prince.
You sigh out of embarrassment mostly, but know that you are the one who needs to speak up. This was your mistake, and so it was your responsibility to fix it. “This is all my fault,” You have to clear your throat after beginning because of how uncomfortably your words sit in your throat. “I take full responsibility for everything. Don’t blame him for anything.” You nod. He turns his head to look at you after you say this, and you wanted nothing more than to look back at him, but Koska had your gaze trapped.
“And what exactly do you mean by ‘everything’ and ‘anything’?” The lady-in-waiting asks.
You sigh again, knowing this was going to be hard to say. “I...allowed myself to be…” You carefully considered your word choice, “i-infatuated with the wrong man.” You finally get out. That was the first time you had said it in front of him, and only the second time you had said it outloud ever, the first being to the Elven Queen last week. “I shouldn’t have let it get so out of hand, but I fell under the spell of this Knight, and I don’t even know his name. I’ve never seen his face. In many ways, he’s a complete stranger to me.” You debated saying the next thing, but it just kind of spilled out, ‘A stranger who’s plagued my thoughts and actions since the day I got here.” It was hard for you to say, but there was something so liberating about saying it.
He never took his eyes off of you the entire time you spoke, but this time you were able to look back at him. Your eyes first looking down at the floor guiltily, and then they slowly make their way up his armor and to the visor on his helmet. You just looked there for a little bit while Koska processed what you were saying. You smiled genuinely at the knight, desperately trying to show him that everything you just said was true. For a moment, you weren’t sure if she was going to say anything at all, and the room fell silent.
“Well…” She begins, you can’t hear any disappointment in her tone yet, “You’re terrible at hiding it.” She sighs. Of all the things she could have said, you did not expect that.
“What?” You say like an absolute idiot for the second time. You look back at the woman.
“Look, I’ve known him for a long time.” She shakily breathes, looking at him, “We’ve actually been through a lot together.” He was still looking at you, “And honestly, Neither of us were ever cut out for the Royal life we’ve been living for a while now.” You wondered what she meant by that. “And to be frank, I could care less about your personal life.” She said to you about you, “But since he’s a friend, and you really don’t mean very much to me, no offense,”
“None taken.”
“I suppose I’ll just keep it to myself-“
The relief that overcame your body was unmatched. You can’t stop the grin that goes from ear to ear or the sigh of relief that danced on your lips and out of your lungs. You look over at him, who still hasn’t looked away from your face, but he sighs of relief, too. You see it in the way his armor shifts.
“-Under one condition.”
“Okay…”
“You have to start hiding it better, no more over the shoulder glances. Okay? This is me looking out for him.” She gestures to him with a nod. Was she really going to do this for you?
“No more glances, got it.” You repeat.
“There’s no telling what might happen to him if the wrong person finds out.” She clears her throat, and that statement scares you. You try not to let it take up too much of your thought. “And you have to act like nothing is different. You’re still engaged to the Prince and you’re still the future Queen-consort. I don’t give a damn about what happens behind closed doors, but when others are around you have to behave yourselves. This is me looking out for my kingdom, understood?”
“Understood.” You nod back, although you weren’t the biggest fan of that condition, you knew that was the price you had to pay to get what you wanted… well at least what you think you wanted. “You’re not going to tell the Queen?”
“If you do those things, she won’t hear a word about it.” Koska shrugs.
“And what about Korkie?”
“Stars, I cannot stand that boy. I don’t even talk to him.” She rolls her eyes and you chuckle. You’re happy you aren’t the only one who feels that way about the prince. “But I’m not going to cover or lie for you two, I’m not going to help you hide it or anything. Alright?”
“Of course.” You reply.
“Great. I have over five-hundered masks to make by Saturday, so I’ll be leaving now.” She finished and on her way out, she pushes the knight on the shoulder playfully.
The door closes.
“Stars.” You clear your throat and turn to look at him, before you can say anything, though, he’s picking you up by the waist, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of weightless flour, and carrying you over to the second sofa that isn’t taken up by a ridiculously large dress. You giggle when he does, blushing at his enthusiasm. You’re placed on your back and he kneels between your legs.
“You’re excited.” You chuckle and he hums in response. There isn’t very much room on the sofa but he makes his place. He then grabs the hem of your dress, pulling it up over first your thighs, then up past your hips, over the corset and up to your face. He covers your eyes with the skirt and it hides the cheesiest smile on your face. light still poured in from the fabric, but you weren’t able to see anything.
You then heard the sound of metal being placed on the floor next to you, and to your pleasant surprise, his lips and pressed tightly to yours through the fabric. The kiss obviously doesn’t make any contact, but you’ve learned that with the knight, it’s the thought that always counts. You’re smiling into the kiss like a dork, and you shudder when you feel his bare hands against your bare thighs. He pulls your legs open, and then pulls away from your separated kiss.
Your first moan comes when you feel his lips against your soft thighs. He licks up and down your right thigh first, his fingertips strong and faithful against the outer part of your legs. Your breathing hitches, and you hum with pleasure when he moves to your left thigh, taking the same amount of time to kiss, nibble and suck on your pillowy skin.
Then, before you can think any more about the heat and want in between your legs, he’s pulling down your petticoat painfully slow. You bite your lip, you knew where he was headed with this, and you were more than happy to welcome it. His index and middle finger run soft lines around your cunt, massaging the swollen and wet skin around your opening that only got wetter. Your clit begged for attention, but your arms were trapped under the position of the dress skirt, and you didn’t want to risk adjusting it in a way that would make him stop. You would have to patiently wait as he teased and prodded your lips, his free hand rubbing your thigh and occasionally making its way to firmly squeeze your ass cheek. Your breathing was needy and short as he took his time to get to know your core with the tips of his fingers, which were now wet and slick and making the friction smoother.
He then gently places a light kiss on your clit. It’s so soft that you’re only able to feel it because of how sensitive and hungry you are for that type of contact. You slightly finch when his lips touch the nerve, and you’re able to feel him smile against your skin. What you would give to see his face right now…. Then, before you can think any more, he’s licking a flat stripe up from the bottom of your cunt up to your clit where he flicks three times with the tip of his tongue. You gasp at the sensation, and try to suppress a moan. He then take his time to lick each separate lip of your sex, avoiding your actual opening but teasing in such an addictive way that you were willing to be patient for him.
The knight then finally wraps his lips around your clit and sucks, pulsing with his lips and flicking back and forth quickly with the tip of his tongue. You do moan this time, a broken cry falling off of your needy lips. It was a euphoric feeling unlike anything you’ve experienced before and you loved every moment of it. His arms wrap around your upper thighs, holding you in place around his head as he moves down to lap at your pussy lips. He moans at the taste of you, diving his tongue into your folds and prodding your sensitive clit with his nose.
You whine short and quietly as he does, biting your lip and bucking your hips every now and then as he took care of your sex. He must have gone down on you for close to ten minutes straight, never coming up for fresh air and never stopping the steady pace he had. You aren’t sure how you didn’t cum immediately at the feeling of his plump lips against your clit, but you also aren’t sure how you didn’t blackout from the sheer pleasure of the feeling. It was addictive, and it only got better after he pulled away to spit on your cunt. He spits onto your folds and then brings his fingers up again to start fingering you, sliding in his pointer finger with no resistance and slowly pumping it in and out. His mouth finds its way back to your slit, sucking on it as he fingers you. The sound was filthy, it filled the parlor with wet, obscene noises accompanied by breathy moans and gentle hums. Every time he hummed against your clit, your back arched from the added pleasure. The vibrating of it was pure euphoric, and you knew you were a sopping mess in between your thighs.
His chin was wet from spit and arousal and for one quick moment he pulled his wet mouth away from your core to kiss and rub the juices of your cunt on your thighs. He nibbles a few times on either thigh, marking each with a litter of purple and red hickeys. Before adding a second finger, he pulls his hand out to gently and playfully slap your cunt. He uses his wet hand to tap your core five or six times, each tap getting harder. You moan out at the feeling, and squeeze your legs together against the feeling in a horny attempt to get more pleasure from the moment.
“Huh, would you look at that?” He asks, his voice low and hungry and full of lust. It’s the first thing he’s said in a while, and the indulgence of the oral sex cause you to nearly forget how much you loved his rough voice. “Do you like it when I slap your cunt?” You whine in response. “With your words, Princess.”
“Yes, Sir.” You whine like a bitch. He chuckles and slaps it again, harder this time. You shudder at the feeling and feel your climax coming on. You want to delay it for as long as possible, but your thighs start to shake when he puts his mouth back in you and pushed both his index and middle finger into your opening, pumping and curling and twisting his wrist to make the most wonderful combination of finger-fucking you could of have imagined.
“I’m gonna cum.” You barely get out before your spine is burning and your stomach is flexing as you cum hard and long against his tongue and on his fingers. You cry out in broken, heavenly bliss, and look for something to grasp onto as you hit your high, but you can’t find anything, which leads to your sporadic back arches. You’re panting, and he doesn’t stop kissing against your core while you cum on his tongue. You bite your lip and swear you might make it bleed a little. His grip on your thighs tightens while he pulls you against his mouth, preventing you from pulling away from the addictive exhilaration that is his kiss.
He licks you through the entire orgasm, and then some after. You think you’re being over-stimulated but you never have been before, so you aren’t really sure. Just when you think he’s going to stop, he doesn’t and he just takes his sweet old time lapping against your core and slowly pumping his fingers in and out of you. You sharply breath in, your chest heaving against the dress and you desperately want to pull your dress down to see him and breath freshly again. The way he eats you out is so methodical, like he’s done it a thousand times (which wouldn’t necessarily surprise you), like it’s the only thing he’s ever eaten or the sweetest honey to ever grace his lips.
It begins to turn you on again, the pleasure shooting into your spine and down your littered thighs and melting against your clit. You can feel the gentle rub of his fingers against your thighs, stroking your skin as he takes you in. It’s heavenly and is the only thing you can think about. Your thoughts go numb and the only important thing in the entire world is the curly-haired boy at your expense.
You mutter and whisper swears, dirty words that aren’t meant to come out of a princess’ mouth but you can’t help it when you’re seeing white hot behind your eyes. He groans a few times too before his fingers speed back up to the pace they were at before you came the first time. Your dainty hands stroke lightly on your collar-bones as the pleasure fills your soul, licking your lips and trying to hold on for as long as possible before you cum again but you can already feel your second orgasm coming on. He uses a third finger to outline your lips, coating the tip in your slick and then slowly inserting the third and final finger into your cunt, helping you chase that final hit of release. The stretch is amazing, and you were surprised you were able to take it so well. This is when you realized that he’s been training you for something much bigger. The first time he fingered you wasn’t even any penetration, the second time was two fingers, just enough to stretch you that it hurt the right amount, and now this time, three fingers that felt amazing. You remembered the size of his cock, you knew it would be a challenge to take, but he was making sure you would be able to handle it and enjoy it as much as he will.
His focus goes from licking your clit to the fingers inside. He twists his wrist to make the curl and stretch your entrance. He collects the wetness and lets it make the glide and pump smoother. You’re so drenched and needy that the fluid is running out past his fingers and dripping onto the sofa cushion, staining it with your lust. He nips so slightly at your clit and just like that, your whole world comes crashing down. The orgasm is actually mind-numbing this time, and all you can do is moan and sob and claw at your own skin. Your scratch into your shoulders and collar-bone and it’s deliciously painful. Your thighs clamp against his head and he continues to finger you long and hard through the climax, cleaning your folds up as you cum against his tongue and fingers. You’re finally able to catch your breath, painting with droopy, lustful eyes but feeling completely fulfilled. He cleans up all the juices around your entrance, collecting the cum on his tongue and happily swallowing it down like it’s his last meal. You aren’t able to see it, but he then puts his fingers into his mouth, cleaning off the three that were knuckle-deep into your cunt. He groans at the taste, and wipes his mouth before planting one last, gentle kiss to the soft, angelic skin of the mound between your legs. You're so sensitive that the light kiss makes you flinch, and he chuckles at the involuntary reaction.
He puts his helmet back on and then pulls your dress skirt down to see your face. You’re surprised by the light initially, and you blink a few times to adjust to it. Your lungs fill with crisp air and you look at your favorite sight: the helm of the knight you think you’re falling in love with. You can’t stop the smile on your face. He chuckles and then readjusts your dress to cover you up better. He takes such good care of you. You see him freeze when he sees the scratch marks on your skin, and his bare hand softly runs over the red lines, outlining the marks. You blush at him, looking up at his expressionless face with a puppy-love look.
“Everytime I think it can’t get any better, you prove me wrong.” You sigh. Every orgasm has been better than the last.
“Just you wait.” You hear the smirk under the helmet and it causes butterflies to flutter in your tummy. You sigh, still catching your breath and you just take him in, looking up at how he’s propped up above you. He has hands on either side of your head and he’s just a brudding force of metal and sex and good kissing and caring about things that you didn’t even know you needed someone to care about. You probably look like a dork just smiling up at him but you don’t even care and now your hands are free to wrap around his neck and you just wish you could see his face and kiss it all over right now.
Your fingers lock behind his neck and the positioning of his armor and the way his head is bent makes it so you can just barely feel the skin of his neck. You move your index fingers up to look for the curls at the nape of his neck. You think you could sing out when you found the prize: some strands of dark, brown, thick hair hidden under the helmet. You twirl them around your fingers and that action alone is worth a million kisses. The feeling in your heart is second to none and you wished you could stay in this still moment forever.
“Did you mean what you said?” He speaks up in reference to what you told Koska about him.
“Every word of it.” You state, genuinely meaning it as you said it. He did respond but something told you he was smiling under all that armor. He sighs, and then lets his arms go weak so he’s falling onto you. You groan at the surprise and the sheer weight of both his broad body and the heavy armor on top. The air is pushed out of your lungs but at least he’s pressed into you, your hands still toying with his curly hair. You can hear him chuckle, and you wanted to freeze time.
“Someone’s gonna see us if we stay like this.” He mutters as you tilt your head to have it rest on top of his helmet.
“Then let them.”
He doesn’t reply to what you say, and you debate if it was even the right thing to say. When you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted, it’s hard to grasp the concept that someone may not want the same thing. You’re selfish for not caring about his safety and status in these types of situations. He grunts as he pushes himself back up and stands again, leaving only you on the sofa.
“How’s the arm?”
“It’s fine.” You roll your eyes, you don’t want everyone to worry so much anymore.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You reply more forcefully this time, sitting up on the couch.
“Just making sure.”
“Yeah, yeah…” You sigh, and consider your next words, “I was wondering if I could ask you something.” You sit with your palms flat against the cushion, making aware of the wet spot on the fabric and smirking fondly at it.
“Anything, your Highness.” He nods.
“Well… I wondered if maybe I could teach you how to dance?” You were nervous about what his response may be.
“Oh Stars-“ He chuckles.
“What!?”
“I had a feeling that masquerade might have something to do with me.” He puts his hands on his hips like he’s scolding you but there’s a guilty part of you that you like about it.
“Well it isn’t just about you.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“...no.” He already knew you so well. He chuckles at your response. “So… what’s your answer?”
“Dancing isn't my style…”
“I don’t believe that.” You tilt your head. “Come on, it’s super easy and it would mean a lot to me.” You try convincing. He sighs and considers what you’re offering. “I can give you something in return…” You bite your lip, teasing. He chuckles just once.
“Alright-”
“What!? Really??” You stand up from excitement, you weren’t really expecting him to agree.
“But, only if you let me teach you something in return.” You nod in agreement, your hands coming to fold in your lap. You were expecting him to refer to something sexual, but his words prove you wrong, “I wanna teach you how to fight.”
“What?” Why would you ever need that?” It’s rare for royals to learn such a skill, especially princesses. You understood that it would be valuable, but you weren’t completely sure if you were up to the task.
“Well more than anything, I want to teach you how to defend yourself. So something like Keldabe doesn’t happen again.”
“Okay…” You were tentative to agree.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” You shrug, “If it means I get to dance with you at the ball, I would be more than happy to learn.”
“Great. Let’s start then.” He takes a step back and holds his hand out for you to take.
“What?” You place your palm in his and he pulls you up off the couch, “right now?”
“Yes, c’mere.” You were nervous and honestly your legs were still weak from cumming twice, but you follow him as he begins to talk. “I’ll just teach you a few things and then you can teach me how to dance I guess.”
“Stop being a pill.” You tease.
“Only if you stop, too.” He teases right back at you which leads to a scoff from your lips. He ignores you. “When you're defending yourself, you always wanna protect your face, okay?”
“Protect my face, got it.” You repeat. He holds his arms up in front of his helmet, his hands fisted.
“Mimic my pose.” You roll your eyes but mirror him, holding your arms to guard your face. “See, is that so hard?”
“Shut up.”
“Yes ma’am.” He sarcastically replies. “You can’t do much if you can’t see, so that’s why you gotta protect your face. If you wore a helmet you wouldn’t need to do this.”
“But I would always be wearing a helmet…”
“It’s not so bad.” He shrugs.
“Something tells me that you don’t believe that.” You drop your arms from your face to say that, which was obviously a mistake, because instead of responding to your claim (which was probably right), he's jabbing his arm out towards your face. He’s not close enough to hit you but the quick and unexpected action is enough to startle you back. You lose your balance and fall down on the ground, wincing when you hit the ground and regretting agreeing to this. Your arms wrap into a frustrated position and you frown up at him. You look up at him surprised and a little pissed, and he just starts laughing. “What was that?”
“You let your guard down.” He says between laughs. He does hold his hand out for you to help you back up, and you take it to your own dismay. He hoists you up quickly, and you have to re-establish your balance.
“You are impossible.” You put your arms back over your face, ready to try again.
“You like it.”
“Are you gonna teach me or not?” He wasn't wrong but you figured you’d have to try and beat him at his own game.
“Are you gonna let me?”
“Just go.” You roll your eyes again.
“This will also protect your ribs. Can’t do much if the wind is knocked out of you, either.” He explains. “You also want to stand wide, it’ll help you keep your balance.” He kicks your feet out to be shoulder width which breaks every rule in the book of princess manners. “And prevent… falling on the floor.”
“This isn’t exactly easy to do in a corset, you know.” You argue.
“And dancing won’t be easy in armor but here we are.” He shrugs, and you suppose he’s right. Neither of you are cut out for the tasks at hand. “When fighting someone without armor, you’re gonna want to go for their face, their eyes are vulnerable and you can do real damage on their nose.”
“Okay….” You try to remember what he was saying, making a mental note for any future situations, although you’re still skeptical. “And what about someone with armor on?” You ask, trying not to show the smirk on your face.
“Well the guy in Keldabe did everything right, he found where the weak points of my armor was and attacked them-“
“So here?” You ask before reeling back your arm and swinging it as hard as you can into his shoulder where there was only chain mail. Your fist crashes into the metal, and you immediately regret it. “Shit!” You pull your hand back and look at your bright red knuckles, shaking your hand a few times as you try to brush the shock away.
“...Yeah, right there.” On the bright side, he seemed to be surprised by it enough that he made a little groan from the contact that turned you on way more than it should have. “But now you fucked up your hand.”
“You think?” You place the angry knuckles at your mouth, trying not to be too upset about the pain shooting through your hand.
“Punching chainmail is always gonna hurt, especially if you do it wrong… like that.”
“So how do I do it right!?” You’re determined now. No one has ever put you in your place, you’ve always gotten what you wanted, and you wanted to prove to him that you could do it.
“Why are you so eager to inflict pain on me?” He asks, you can hear the teasing in his tone but you can’t blame him for feeling that way. Perhaps you did come off a little anxious.
“I don’t know… I guess I just want to prove something to you.” You sigh, still pissed off by the pain in your hand. You’re so distracted by it that you hardly notice him walking towards you. His gentle and soft bare hands take your fist away from your mouth. You’re tentative at first, but let him take it in his hand, cupping it in between his and looking down at your red skin. You frown mostly out of frustration, but the pain is unlike anything you’ve experienced before. Princesses aren’t supposed to feel pain.
Before you can blink, he pulls his top hand away and takes it to lift up his helmet just above his lips. The angle makes it so you can’t see any of his face but you understand. He bends down and kisses your knuckles in the same fashion one would when greeting you, but this was so much more intimate. His lips were like satin against your skin and the butterflies in your stomach fly right back. The physical pain didn’t go away, but the anger around it did. Your heart softened and wished he would kiss your lips but he’s already pulling the beskar back over his jaw. You sigh from the gesture, he was so romantic and you don’t even think he’s trying to be. He’s just trying to be kind and patient with you and it’s doing something to your heart that you don’t know if you can handle anymore.
“So… how do you waltz?” He asks, his hand still holding onto yours. You smile and sheepishly look down at your feet. You were unsure of how to begin, but were happy he was willing to learn.
“Okay.” You smile, “Well, you first need to loosen up. Stop being so stiff.” He tilts his head like you’re speaking a foreign language. “Like this.” You press your hands down on his shoulder pauldrons, he tries to rest them but fails and you chuckle just a little. “Roll them back.” You explain and do it yourself, he attempts to follow, and actually is able to relax a little bit more this time. Knights are always so stiff, you think it will be good for him to relax every now and then. “Good, now this hand goes here…” You lift his right hand to rest on your waist and he immediately settles into it, already feeling more comfortable now that he is holding you. You place your left hand on his shoulder, pulling your bodies a little closer together. He wanted your torsos to be flush against one another, “No, we have to keep our distance so we have room to do the steps.” You explain.
“Well that’s no fun.” He sighs. You blush and giggle.
“If we get this done I promise you can hold me as long as you want.” You tilt your head trying to make a fair compromise.
“Fine.” He’ll take it.
“Great, now we hold these hands.” You take his left hand and hold it into yours. “That’s the basic position, I learned it as home position, got it?”
“Home position…?” He repeats.
“Mhm.” You nod, your faces are close and you would give anything to feel his breath against yours. “It’s important that we sort of… ‘glide’ like we bounce as we dance, it will make it prettier.” He was convinced you were always pretty no matter what you tried or did, but we guessed he would comply this time. Your voice goes quiet and soft, the mood immediately changing from teasing to harmonious. “And your feet… okay this is sort of complicated but your left foot will go forward as my right goes back-“ You keep looking down at the floor as you try to explain the steps but his gaze is on your face, hardly listening to what you're saying and only being engulfed in your face and the way you talked about doing something you loved. You were so beautiful and you didn’t even know it.
You must have been talking for a while without really listening to yourself because he was slowly pulling you into his torso and closing the space without you really noticing that you were inches closer than you were before. “-and then your left foot will slide to meet your right foot-“ the last word fades out as you slowly look back up to his face which was now up close to yours, your bodies pressed together and both of his hands on your hips, his thumb rubbing soft circles into your back. Your heart skips a beat and you forget how to breathe as you look up at him and it just felt… right.
Your hands lift from his pauldron to his helmet and you want to take it off so badly. You knew it was too fast still, and he would remove his helmet for you when he felt like he could. At least that’s what you hoped for. It should be his decision, no one else’s. But your hands are grazing the bottom of the beskar and everything feels so right. He’s so still and his breath is quiet and for just a moment you think he might let you and then-
The door knob is turning slowly and both of you are splitting away all too fast, trying to make enough space between the two of you so it didn’t look suspicious. You both scramble, trying to put yourselves back together. The still and perfect moment was entirely gone when Prince Korkie opened up the door into the parlor. You tried not to look too shocked when his stupid perfect hair and young face looked on you. The knight held his hands behind his back to hide the fact that they were bare and side-eyed the gloves on the sofa that laid by the wet stain on the cushion. He silently prayed that the Prince wouldn’t notice them.
“Ah, princess I was wondering where you were.” He looked between the two of you. He didn’t seem too suspicious, thank the stars.
“Korkie! What are you doing?” You awkwardly laugh. Your hands fold at waist level, and you fix your posture.
“Did… I walk in on something?” He asks and your whole body goes numb. You swallow and try not to pass out. The truth is yes, he did walk in on something very important to you, but here we are.
“Oh! No, we were just…” You search around the room looking for something to take the attention away from you and the knight, “Admiring the beautiful dress the Elves gave me!” You walk to the heavy, iridescent gown on the clean sofa, picking it up to show him. You smile desperately, hoping that would be enough.
“Ah yes! It is beautiful, isn’t it?” He nods, smiling. You sigh of relief when he falls for the bait. You set the dress back down.
“Can I do anything for you?” You ask,a king sure there was no attention on the knight being you.
“I… just wanted to spend a bit of time with you. My aunt informed me of the changes to the Ball. What a wonderful idea!”
“Why thank you.” You smile, taking a few steps towards him in a hopeless attempt to not seem so suspicious.
“Yes! I had just received the RSVPS from a number of the guests. Your parents, the twins of Naboo, the senator of Alderaan and Princess of Chandrila and I’m pleased to say that we’ve found no suspicion of any attack from Coruscant!” Stars, he talks a lot. You aren’t sure how he can have any more breath to talk. You were starting to decide that you liked the boys who were more reserved.
Well… one boy.
“Oh… Um, of course. That’s great news.” You nod and finish your walk towards him, suddenly hyper-aware of the fading scratches on your collar bone.
“Come with me, we should review the letters together.” You look back at the knight apologetically before walking into the hallway with the Prince. This isn’t exactly how you hoped your afternoon would go...
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Part ten
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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years
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What I Thought About "Yesterday's Lie" from The Owl House
Salutations, random people on the internet who absolutely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!
Here it is! The midseason finale of The Owl House Season Two! An episode featuring Luz going back to the human realm, is hyped up to heaven about how painful it'll be for the audience, and features more anxiety by how Creepy Luz is a thing. And BOOOOOOOOY howdy were fans not ready for this. I'm sure as hell not ready for when I wrote this intro at *checks time* thirty minutes before watching the official premier. Yup, the words you're reading right now are from me in the past, when everything was still pure and simple. Whereas future me is still probably destroyed by the events that transpired. Isn't that right, future me?
Future Me: Actually, it wasn’t that bad. The ending hurt, sure, but other than that, it wasn’t too painful.
Wow, that is some neat input! At least, I think it was. I wouldn't know because I literally wrote that after watching the episode. With the words you're currently reading being written at *checks time* twenty-six minutes before the premier...this whole intro is confusing, isn't it, future me?
Future Me: Sure is.
Yeah, it's definitely confusing. In any case, let's dive into this spoiler-filled review as we find out together just how painful this episode was! Take it away, future me!
Future Me: Will do! Major spoilers ahead, folks!
Now, let’s review, shall we?
WHAT I LIKED
Luz’s Room: We only see it for a short time, but everything about it just screams Luz. The pile of weird-looking stuffed animals, the witch hat in the center of the floor, and the fact that she has bunk beds, a single child's dream (Or so I've heard). It's a small thing, but I love it.
Vee: Here she is! The character previously dubbed Creepy Luz who now turns out to be yet another new addition to the ever-growing list of characters that we, as a fandom, would give our lives for. Because holy s**t was Vee the best type of expectation subversion. Showing us all the ominous ways of how she basically took Luz's place made fans assume that Vee was an evil doppelganger. Turns out, she was just a tortured soul that was desperate to live a new and better life and lucked out in finding Luz's. What Vee does is...questionable at best, but seeing what she went through with the experiments Belos pulled on her, you understand why she would do it. And I personally love it's that same background information that makes Vee resentful of Luz of all people. Luz's life is a relative dream come true, and running away from that would be insane to someone who spent most of their existence through imprisonment and experimentation. It's an intriguing point of view, even though it's admittingly flawed given how it's mostly Camila that seemingly made Luz's life bearable. But the flaws don't matter. What matters is that you can see where Vee is coming from, and to me, personally, I think she's understandable enough to make me root for her to have some kind of happy ending. Whether as Luz or as herself, I'm hopeful to see Vee get some semblance of peace.
Camila: *Round of applause* Don't mind me! Just taking the time to love how all them sons of b**hes who thought Camila was a bad mom are now heavily invalidated. 'Cause, guess what? Camila is a fantastic mother, both to her daughter and her daughter's doppelganger! Allow me to walk you through the highlights:
How Camila looks like she’s not okay with the fact that "Luz" is clearing out her weird stuff, seemingly acting too different to the Luz she knows. Added to the fact that Camila doesn't like it.
How Camila drove Luz to camp whether than letting her take the bus
The fact that Camila takes that box of junk back in, not willing to part with the tin foil sculpture Luz made.
The way she was willing to play along with the game she thought Luz was doing, supporting her daughter's creative mind that Camila admits to being glad to see.
And, best of all, the willingness Camila had to help this poor creature, despite the lies it lived.
It's that last part I really want to touch upon, though. Because an action like that shows just how much Luz's heart comes from Camila. The kindness and generosity of helping this poor creature, who she has every right to run out on, proves how Luz learned to be everything she is today through Camila's own loving heart. Vee was scared and hurt, and the second Camila saw that she was then more than willing to help because of it. It's something that Luz would do, and it proves that even though Camila didn't exactly get everything right, she's still a great mom where it counts.
“A new life”: A perfect line.
Initially, it makes audiences think that it has everything to do with replacing Luz. It's only through future context that we know it's about escaping the s**t show Vee once lived through that it's clear she's talking about starting over. It hits us with intrigue on the first viewing, only to hit harder with the feels during a second. Really well-done.
Luz in the Mirror: A well-done surprise that makes fans curious about how this even happen in the first place. Kudos to you, writers.
The New Portal: I don't mind that they found a way to build this off-screen. Showing Luz and the gang slowly building a new portal would have been a little too tedious to watch, and it's so much better to just start this episode out with it. Besides, maybe we'll get the slow and steadier version now that we've seen how quickly building one might not have been the best way to go, given how fast that thing fell apart.
Luz Between Dimensions: I have no clue what the hell that place she was in is called, but it's awesome! The overall design of the realm is the correct type of unsettling, like it's oozing with mystery, but it's somewhere that you probably don't want to be in for too long. Whoever designed it deserves all of the credit because I don't want to even think about all the hard work that went into making this look as well-made as it was.
Luz Resisting to See Amity: What? Luz and Amity are adorable, and seeing Luz's immediate thought about seeing Amity makes my shipping heart scream with glee. Don't judge me!
Hiding Luz’s Dad’s Face: Well, that was a fun story while it lasted.
So, it turns out that Luz's dad really was a part of Luz's and Camila's life at some point, but not anymore. As for why remains to be seen, as we don't really know yet if we'll see him make an appearance. I'd say that the odds are high that he will, given how much of a point this episode made about keeping his face hidden. Shows don't usually do that unless the goal is to hype up some official reveal, and I can't wait to see what comes of it.
Luz Telling Herself to Count to Five: Hey, more evidence for how I relate to Luz! I know how it feels to be all panicky about a specific situation, and I only got better when I took the time to calm down for a bit. Sometimes, I even tried the "count to x" method that Luz used...it never worked, primarily because it made me feel worse when people told me to do it, but I still tried it! Plus, there's also some narrative foreshadowing when after Luz says five, the realm shows her Vee, or Number V, which is a pretty cool detail you'll notice on a rewatch.
Luz Helping Vee: I gave Camila praise for helping Vee in the end, but that doesn't abstain Luz from her own set of recognition. The second that Luz realized that Vee wasn't really a threat and is far from evil, our favorite human does what she can to help and even makes a deal where they're both happy. Because, of course, Luz is that perfect of a protagonist who is more than willing to help others in need. And it's why we love her so.
Looking for Magic that Eda Left Behind: A pretty cool idea that gives Luz and Vee a chance to bond and giving us an insight into Eda's past antics and misadventures in the human realm. Not much I can add to it, though.
Gravesfield: It's surprisingly not as jarring as I thought it would be to spend an episode in the human realm. I thought for sure, after all that time in the Boiling Isles, there would be something off about walking around a normal environment for a change. Turns out, it's almost easy to get used to. Or, for me, it is.
But I will say that there's this neat use of colors when comparing Gravesfield with the Boiling Isles. In Gravesfield, the coloring looks dulled down and standard, which is a stark contrast to the bright vibrancy of everything we've seen in the Boiling Isles. It's a subtle way of showing how things are different, aside from the major discrepancies we could come to expect. And I think that's why I appreciate it much more.
Eda’s Called Herself Marylynn in the Human Realm: Hang on...hang on...do you mean to tell me that the crack theory about Eda being Stan's ex-wife is actually true?
...
...What even is this show?!
Vee Making Friends with Camp Members: This shows the most apparent difference between Luz and Vee. Where we see Luz is already fearing the many ways that could go wrong with interacting with teens, Vee revealed that she adapted to her situation and had a chance to make friends. The implications of this are worth discussing another time, but for now, I'll say that it's pretty intriguing that we gain this much insight into both Luz and Vee through such a small thing.
Belos Wanting to Learn How Basilisks can Drain Magic: ...Didn't Raine say that Belos was taking away magic? If so, I think we can figure out how he's doing it. The question now is: Why?
Jacob (The Curator Guy): This guy was a riot. At first, Jacob seemed like a threat with the way he trapped Vee and was apparently stocking her, but the second he goes off about his conspiracy theories, it becomes clear what type of character he is. And was it a blast seeing how much of a crackpot this man is. It wasn't cool seeing him wanting to dissect the precious angel that is Vee, but I still chuckle about things like his "Flat Eather's Certificate." So while he's not that much of a threat, he's still fun to watch.
The Owl Beast was in the Human Realm: ...How did that happen? When did it happen? And how the hell did Eda get out of a situation like that?! Who knows, but it's still a shocking piece of news to learn.
Luz Telling Camila the Truth: Hey, she faced her fear after all! Although, the results aren't as pleasant as when Amity faced her fear two weeks ago.
Camila is a Veterinarian: ...One insignificant reveal...managed to destroy so many fanfics. I mean, we probably shouldn't have just assumed Camila was a nurse...but what the f**k else were we supposed to think?! Sorry for seeing the scrubs, and the first thing that came to my mind was "nurse" and not "vet."
By the way, that had to have been intentional, right? There's no way that Dana Terrace didn't think we'd assume Camila was a nurse. She'd had to have put off a reveal like that just to trip up her fans. And if that's the case, then that is a major d**k move...but that's why I mildly respect it.
Two Human Brothers went to the Demon Realm: Turns out we don't have to be in the Boiling Isles to learn more about it. Because now we have more information about how two humans were taken to the Isles with the help of a witch, thus setting up a grander reveal if it turns out that one of the humans was Philip and the witch was Belos. Because if that's true...then there's more of a history between those two than we thought.
Jacob has a Training Wand: This helps me believe that it's highly likely for Jacob to make a return and to have a power boost for when he does. After all, focussing all that attention on the training wand is way too convenient for it not to come up again in the future. Meaning we're most likely going to get more pain from Jacob if he shows up again.
Camila Beats the Crap out of Jacob for Vee: ...Writers, don't make me choose between Camila and Eda on who's the better cartoon mom. I know Eda's technically not a mom...BUT I STILL DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE DAMNIT!
Also, the sandal...just...
Why the f**k does Camila have a sandal in her purse? I don't know. Is it still funny that she does? Most certainly.
Camila and Luz’s Talk in the Rain: Ooooooooh, I was not ready for this...
I wasn't ready for the crying.
I wasn't ready for the hurt in Camila's eyes when she found out Luz chose to stay in the Boiling Isles.
I wasn't ready for Camila asking if Luz hates being with her that much.
I wasn't ready for Luz profusely stating how it was never Camila's fault.
I was not ready for Camila to tell Luz that she'll try to do better.
And I definitely was not ready for Luz to barely have enough time to promise that she'll come back.
This episode wasn't the twenty-two minutes of nonstop angst that I thought it was going to be...but this short scene more than make up for it.
Luz Tries to Stay Strong: Yet another thing she unwittingly learned from Camila. Camila tried to keep a brave face when Vee was with her and Luz, most likely not wanting to tear either of them down in the process. Luz does the same thing here as she avoids talking about the details of what went down in her sort-of journey back home. And seeing her clearly fake smile slowly droop into an uncertain frown, it uh...it definitely tore me up inside.
WHAT I DISLIKED
I want to say it's perfect, but there's one major issue that really bogs this episode down.
Continuity Error in How Vee Replaced Luz: Having Vee take Luz's place the same day Luz appeared in the Isles is a smart idea on paper...if it wasn't for the fact that it's impossible.
Because Eda closed the portal door the second that she saw Luz, meaning that there's no way for Vee to go to the human realm. It's a major plothole that makes no sense, and it might just be the first time ever that this series wasn't so closely knit with its story. Which ends up taking a dive in quality in the process.
IN CONCLUSION
I'd say that "Yesterday's Lie" is an A-. Everything about Luz, Vee, and Camila is incredible, combined into a story that ends in tragedy and uncertainty for the future. That plothole may drag things down a bit, but everything else is handled so well that I'm not lying when I say it's easy to forgive and forget.
(And that's ten episodes in a row without a single stinker. HOW THE F**K DOES THIS SEASON KEEP WINNING?!)
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dallonm-archive · 3 years
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[image description: three monstera leaves. The leaves and wall are tinted purple by string lights behind the plant. In the middle, in a white serif font and all caps, reads “LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS”. At the bottom, in the same font but smaller, reads “update #1″ /end id]
LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS | UPDATE #1
Before I start, this is an autistic OwnVoices novel and it’s Autism Acceptance Month! Remember that awareness is passive and acceptance is active. And whilst this book is autistic OwnVoices I want to stress that it doesn’t cover the full autistic experience; autism is so individualistic and  this story only stems from my experience. Make sure you to listen to all autistics, not just those who can speak and live independently and present in a way that suits neurotypical society. Support autistic creatives and if you’re also a creative, include autistic characters in your work! Autism is not a disease. It does not need to be cured. 
Hey y’all! This has sure been a week! I gave myself the goal of 15,000 words for Camp Nano and somehow hit that in 5 days? I have literally never written at that pace before so I’m a little shocked lol. I don’t intend to keep that pace but the momentum has made drafting very fun and? drafting this has been a literal dream. I was really worried because March was a month long slump I expected to carry into April. I want to disclaim that I’m currently out of school and work because of the pandemic so I have all the free time to write and that definitely contributed! But also as a neurodivergent and disabled writer, free time does not always equal writing, so to know that I am capable of writing like this, even if not always, it is Such a gamechanger. Also this story makes me miss University so much I actually can’t take it :( 
LCOMS has been a dream so far because the protagonists are all characters I’ve had for 5-8 years, and | spent those years struggling to figure out their stories. Even when I settled on this story, originally Patchwork, there was like 4 versions of it before I landed on this - none ever drafted beyond a couple thousand words because they just Never Worked. But the wait was worth it because holy shit I feel like I struck gold. This story feels so me, it’s so much fun to write, and I don’t think a story has come to me this easy before. It’s given me such a zest for storytelling again that I didn’t realise was missing. I’m slowing things down now because creative boundaries and self care >>>>, but I just passed 19k words - though some of the chapters are very unfinished because my priority has been mapping out the story’s skeleton as far as I can, then filling in the gaps based off what I learnt. I wanna put a passage before the cut so it’s not just me rambling about bullshit and no content, but it’s hard to pick just one, so here’s a non-linear scene that I :) cannot elaborate on :)
(CW: alcohol)
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[image description: the side of a ferris wheel against black sky. The wheel is lit white, but at the bottom it’s coloured a mix of pink, blue and green. At the top, in a white serif font, reads “The ferris wheel lights blur between turquoise, magenta, mint, lavender, casts the puddles into technicolour. “ /end id]
Picture this: December 17th. End of term. End of year. Cloudless night, stars winking. Fargate glows, market stalls lit by yellow fairy lights line the street like candle stubs, gently burning. It’s raining. It has all day. Dampened your new beanie and scarf but you’re not mad, even if you’ll cringe at the texture when you take them off later. The ferris wheel lights blur between turquoise, magenta, mint, lavender, casts the puddles into technicolour. Your eyes and feet ache, but you’re not mad. And the mulled wine that buzzed warm in your bloodstream now coils in your stomach, but you’re not mad. You’re queuing for the technicolour wheel, even though you know it’ll be underwhelming and a waste of £4, but you’re not mad. Chocolate is usually too sweet for you, but he bought a pack of snowflake shaped ones - each carved with their own design - and when he passes the paper bag over you don’t say no. They taste like raspberry. He grins at you.
I have once again written a long update because I am autistic and have no self control; more excerpts and chapter-by-chapter rambles are as usual under the cut!
(content warnings are specific to the respective excerpt, but as a general warning there’s a lot of alcohol mentions!)
Originally I wanted 3 parts for 3 semesters, but I might do 2? Especially because in the UK at least the spring and summer semester kinda blend into one. The chapters are grouped by 3 - one for every POV character - but that’s more to help with writing because I get more done if I break it down like that, but I also like how it’s shaped the story structurally. 
Sometimes the three chapters will be each of the character’s POV on a single event, sometimes they’re more individual but still follow a general idea (for example, one of them is how each character’s first three weeks of the semester goes). As usual for me the plot here is ~non-existent, especially at this stage, but everything is still connected and threaded together and thats all we really need. The chapters are also pretty short at the moment, none of them are over 3k and only tackle 1-3 scenes. This is something I feel is working really nicely now but I’m not gonna commit to it for the entire novel. I like chapter length variety! But right now we are just going with the flow :)
The most unexpected part is this being in second person, which I decided impulsively the night before Nano because I have :) zero self control :). I was unsure if it’d work in Multi POV, but it’s created such a unique tone that I can’t imagine the story without anymore, even if it’ll need tweaking over drafts. I think it suits the story so well! I’m just torn about it being in past or present, so if you see tense jumps in the excerpts no you did not <3 I’m not naming chapters right now beyond the character’s name, but part one is titled Growing Pains.
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[image description: photo of a city at night. To the left are skyscrapers with lots of lit up windows behind a chain-link fence. To the right is an unlit building. Near the middle is a bright streetlight. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “growing pains”. /end id]
 1: Tomas
We start in the most overrated part of Uni, fresher’s week <3 The drinking and clubbing culture of UK university is a big part of this novel but in a way that’s like “hey this can be fun sometimes but sometimes it’s really not and it’s also really not for everyone.” Our three POVs go to a club night and really don’t care for it. Tomas does not want to be here, is in a weird as shit mood, and instead of looking for his friends he goes to the smoking area with a man he just met called Damiano. I really wanna rewrite this because I wrote it with Zero Idea of where the story was going, so here’s the one part of it that I consider salvageable <3 
Damiano shoves his phone in your hands, brightness puncturing darkness. You hadn’t noticed the dimmed lights until then, but the room blued, music and time slowed. Though his notes are on dark mode, his phone brightness is on two fucking high. Your eyes sting. Cracks travel up the screen like veins.
Each character also has a specific image they keep seeing in things that are never actually there and they all make me like 🤠 hey besties what do these mean are you okay?? I Do Not know what they mean yet, but Tomas’ is veins. (Also shout out to me for finally settling on a spelling for his name after 5 years and by that I mean thank you to my friends for peer pressuring me into choosing Tomas lol)
My absolute favourite part of this story is the character voices. They are all SO fun to write, and I feel like I settled into a good combo of My Literary Prose Bullshit and they’re very specific, often very sarcastic voices. They also say fuck like, so many fucking times. RIP to me if I decide to query this <3 
2: Kristen
Okay first off Kristen is THE funniest character I’ve written. He is SO fun. I wish I was his bestie but he’s also been my bestie since 2013. We meet him in the gender neutral bathrooms being annoyed by a very rich and very tone deaf girl. Classism and the UK class divide is one of the biggest themes of this novel, and Kristen is a very proud working class Northerner (the North is massively underfunded and unsupported by the Gov compared to the South) and cannot stand the Tories (Conservative Party). Extremely fucking valid of him
(CW: blood)
“I’m Floss. Florence.” Of course she was. Fucking Florence. “Where are you from?”
You don’t look at her. Eyes on your reflection, the glittered cheekbones. You busy yourself with your eyeliner, gliding the pen over gaps and smudges that don’t exist. “Barnsley, babe.” It’s only a half lie this time - if you tell her you were born in Liverpool she’d probably look at you like you’re a dead rat on the side of a dodgy alleyway. But maybe that’d be better because then she’d leave you the fuck alone. 
“Oh! That’s like well close isn’t it. I’m from Reigate.” Her voice breathes trust fund and Waitrose, tries to speak like it doesn’t. You try not to laugh.
“Reigate! I bet your parents are right little Tories, aren’t they?”
She playfully slapped your shoulder. She thinks you’re friends. "Not every rich person is a Tory!” Don’t roll your eyes don’t roll your eyes don’t roll your eyes. “Is that blood on your hands?” 
“Huh?” You look: faded red dye dried to your palm, blotted on your fingertips. It is dye, because your hair is as of four hours ago a fierce “Real Red”. But it could be blood. “No, it’s hair dye.”
If you think he’s being harsh, she literally calls him a slur like 3 lines after this <3 Fuck rich people half of this book is me clowning on them. 
Kristen’s recurring Imagery is blood, except sometimes it’s less clear if it’s actually blood or not. Once again, besties are you okay ????
3: Junie
Junie my beloved <3 love her so much. She finds Kristen in the bathroom, and they agree to look for Tomas, until Tomas texts to say he already left. But the biggest part of this chapter is the absolute crisis she has over kissing for a girl for the first time to ABBA :) 
(CW: alcohol)
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[image description: a disco ball against a red-purple background. The disco ball casts dots of light against the across the ceiling. At the bottom, in a white serif font, reads:  “Dancing Queen bounces against the walls. The disco ball casts specks over the ceiling, floor, walls, your skin, hair, eyes like broken glass.” /end id]
You don’t listen to 80s music, or 70s, but this room is smaller than the main floor, not claustrophobic, less freshers. Yet, even without the mask of a crowd, nobody notices the girl in the corner kissing the other girl. A girl you don’t know. You’d only gone up to her because she has purple hair and you had to tell her how much you love it - what dye is it? Professional or homemade? Did you have to bleach your hair? Professional or homemade? Will your hair fall out if you bleach it at home? If you dye your hair purple, do you become part of the Milky Way or part of Andromeda? She turns and sticks her tongue out to display her fresh tongue piercing, like a silver bullet lodged in flesh. “Dance with me, you look lost.” She has an allure to her, the Andromeda hair, the bullet in the tongue - do you want to pull it out with your teeth, or lodge it in your own skin? But she asks you to dance, and you fall into her orbit, if only for a few songs. Dancing Queen bounces against the walls. The disco ball casts specks over the ceiling, floor, walls, your skin, hair, eyes like broken glass. Her tongue in your mouth, yours in hers, bullet grazing against your lips. She tastes of vodka and cherries and metal.
I really, really feel for Junie. She’s recently out, and she’s only just navigating what it means to exist as a lesbian. She kisses a girl and immediately regrets it, because she’s a hopeless romantic and was hoping her first kiss with a girl wouldn’t be in the back of a club, but she also doesn’t regret it because it was a good kiss and they’ll never see each other again lol. Junie’s recurring imagery is glass and once again, besties are you okay 
4: Junie
I don’t know how I feel about back to back POV chapters but that’s just how this set worked. The next 3 are immediately after the events of the first 3, after they’ve all left the club. Kristen and Junie walk home together, and most of this and his subsequent chapter is establishing relationship dynamics and <3 this story made me love writing dialogue y’all. This story has a lot of dark elements, so it’s really refreshing to be able to have the light-hearted moments as well. Like these characters are all going through it but they’re also Gen Z 20 year olds who grew up using humour to cope like what else are they meant to do 
“We should’ve got that flat on Brunswick. It’s literally down the street from the SU - we’d just have to walk down a hill and then we’d be home.” He complains.
“Kristen, that flat had a rat problem. I saw one scurrying behind the oven.”
“Yeah, and we live with Tomas Meijer now, so what’s the difference?” He faces you, walks backwards, grin plastered on his face.
“That was mean.” You feign annoyance. You sound like a schoolteacher. 
“It’s just how we are, you know. The love hate relationship. Like night and day or some shit. I’d kill for that boy but like, he’s still a rat. He’s the same to me - did he tell you he called me a malnourished ferret once in first year? In English and Dutch. Don’t even remember what it is in Dutch but he really came at me with two knives like that.” 
Kristen and Junie don’t really know each other well - Junie is Tomas’ friend from class and Kristen and Tomas met in dorms, and a series of shitty housemates in second year brought them all together. It’s funny because I really worried Junie would end up with no clear place in the group and more like a third wheel to Kristen and Tomas but as I started writing I realised that her and Kristen are gonna become besties like. Instantaneously. Love this for them <3
5: Kristen
Essentially mirrors the last chapter. Him and Junie arrive home and have a heart to heart in the living room about gender <3 I love this for them <3 
6: Tomas
Tomas goes home with Damiano and they hook up, which is very out of character for Tomas so it’s like his I Am So Random. I Can’t Believe I Just Did That moment. Damiano is a really sweet dude though it’s all good, but he’s here to stay and I can just tell it’s gonna get messy :/ I actually really love how this chapter came out but whilst I have no problem with reading or writing non-explicit sex scenes I’m also like a would rather die than put that on tumblr dot com oops 
7: Kristen
we’ve skipped a week ahead to the day before semester starts, and the next three chapters are basically like a character study of where each of them are mentally. It’s not the best :/ This is also the point where Day 1 Of Camp me had literally no idea what I was doing. LCOMS is different from the way I pants Revelations, Revelations because with the latter I find it much easier to brainstorm scenes in my head but with this one, it really is a surprise until I open the doc. It’s created some really interesting moments though. 
Kristen visits an amateur photographer friend named Kasia to model for her. I struggled to find anything that included info I’m fine with sharing, but I learnt a LOT about Kristen and his mental state, which was surprising since he’s lived in my head rent free for 8 years now. It’s messy <3 The summary: he sees himself as a mannequin, and he decides that he likes it that way, but he also doesn’t know who’s moving his joints into poses. Bestie???
8: Junie
Junie unpacks her room a week after moving in. Autistic queen <3 This is one of the unfinished chapters, and I have zero motivation to finish it because there’s a scene missing and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is. The gist of it though is she FaceTimes a friend from secondary school that definitely was her gay awakening that she only realised was her gay awakening in the last year. Messy <3 
9: Tomas
One of my favourite chapters. It’s split into two halves, a light-hearted moment of all three housemates at a superstore because <3 grocery store scenes my beloved <3 and then Tomas’ Everything Is Bad exploration at the end. There’s a moment in the first half where Tomas and Kristen have a heart to heart in the candle aisle, and Tomas asks Kristen where he thinks they’ll be in their thirties. I winged this in a sprint and I’m obsessed with it, it’s all about the ~dynamic~
“Well, he has student debt for one. But that’s not on him. That’s on the Tories. But I like to think they’ll be out of power by then. Boris might even be dead, if we’re lucky. But again, not on me.” He’s quiet again. You watch him think. “He’d be a music teacher probably, or an English teacher. But like, a cool one. He doesn’t teach secondary school because he doesn’t hate himself. Maybe a Sixth Form, or even better a Uni. His students would love him because he’d be able to take a joke and also like, not hound on them for having mental illnesses or life struggles?” Neither of you look at the aisles anymore, just circle the home section of Big Tesco. “He’d also do a lot of charity work. He has a foundation-charity-thing for queer and autistic kids to get accessible music lessons, because creative therapy is like, the best thing - besides Prozac but I digress - and it’d be better than the old white men from CAMHs who act like you don’t exist by your eighteenth birthday. And he’d have a cool little flat in Sheffield where the landlord lets him paint the walls so every room is a different colour. Turquoise kitchen. Magenta Living room. Lavender bedroom. Mint bathroom.” He looks at you like he forgot you were there. “You really let me ramble like that in the middle of Big Tesco, huh? That felt like a fucking therapy moment.” He laughs a little, like he’s nervous.
“Nah, it was a good answer. Maybe if Tomas-in-his-thirties doesn’t move back to the Netherlands, he’ll rent the apartment next to Kristen-in-his-thirties.” 
Kristen pouts. “Aw, you don’t wanna be my roomie anymore?” 
“No, you called me an animal for eating pineapple on pizza.” 
“Deserved. And you called me a malnourished ferret.”
You smile. “You’re not gonna let that down, are you?”
He smiles. “Of course not.”
Kristen tells Tomas he knows Something Happened to him over summer, and gets him to promise to tell him when he’s ready. The second half of the chapter takes place back at the house. Tomas is grieving, and it’s starting to creep into all elements of his thought. In this one specifically, he’s reminded of his top surgery and his memories in the hospital for that starts to blend with his memory of being in the hospital to grieve. Tomas is interesting as trans rep because like, he is trans rep curated for me specifically <3 Tomas was a huge comfort character for me when I was younger and when I realised I was trans, I looked at him and was like oh. He had a very smooth coming out and transitioning process (bc mine is the opposite and I need to project :) ), but right now he views his transness as like, a chapter of his life that was important but is now closed, so he doesn’t think about it a lot anymore, but the combo of grief and its mental impacts causes him to think about it more and he realises he has a very unhealthy internal relationship with his transness. Whilst the big idea at the start of Tomas’ arc is to show trans peace, I really wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the grieving process that comes with being trans. Literally the moment that made me realise “oh god, this is real and I can’t ignore it” was googling “im scared i might be trans” and realising how normal those tangled feelings are. Tomas’ experience of it is only fleeting, but I wanted to show that it’s normal. That being said, there’s no transphobia in this story. It is ultimately a Trans Peace story but also a trans story that, for me at least, is realistic. And the thoughts don’t last long, because his mind circles back to the grieving process. 
(CW: graphic surgery and hospital imagery, vomit mention, death)
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[image description: a darkened picture of an empty hospital room. The only light comes in through the window through thin white curtains. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “ Scalpel gliding across the chest; were the cuts they made as thin as the line between surgery and autopsy? “ /end id]
Picture this: The hospital room. Clinical lights like exit wounds in the ceiling. Everything hurts. Haven’t slept properly in weeks. Can barely eat without it coiling and tangling in your stomach only for nothing to come up when you heave over the toilet. Messy hair, sunken eye bags. Dull eyes. The hospital room. The hospital halls. The hospital waiting room. The hospital car park. The drive to the hospital. The sleepless night before the hospital visit. The locked in the armchair next to the phone waiting for the hospital to call. The silence shrills harsher than the phone’s ring. But ask yourself this: who’s in the bed? You or him? The memories are different but the same. Oil and water. Shouldn’t be mixed. But it’s hard not to. Picture the two of you on the operating table and on the metal slab. Too far from reality to feel skin slice. Scalpel gliding across the chest; were the cuts they made as thin as the line between surgery and autopsy?
There’s a lot of paragraphs in the story that start with Picture This:. I have no idea what it means, it just reads cool lmao
10: Junie
we skip around 3 weeks now to see how the kids are dealing with the start of semester and well. They’re managing! Junie actually has a good chapter here, because she experiences Baby’s First Queer Class Crush 
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[image description: a purple sunset with a large pink cloud. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads  you notice her background is of a purple sunset. You wonder if purple is her favourite colour like you and if she took it and if she likes photography and if she’d take photos of you “ /end id]
You listen, touch type your notes without properly processing the words yet, but instead of studying the PowerPoint, you study her: how she tucks a strand of black hair - free from her messy bun - behind her ear. The three studs in her earlobe, three little gold stars. The way her eyebrows furrow when she’s confused, and the way her face relaxes when she figures it out. How she touch types like you, how her two brass bracelets  jangle and how you’re the only one that hears it. She minimises Word briefly, and you notice her background is of a purple sunset. You wonder if purple is her favourite colour like you and if she took it and if she likes photography and if she’d take photos of you. Lavender polo shirt, lavender perfume. She doesn’t wear make-up, but a tiny black heart sits under left eye.
Junie’s dreams of a photographer girlfriend are quickly shattered when she admits the photo’s from Pinterest, but otherwise this is so <3 the sapphic crisis of it all.
You walk out together, and she tells you she only got into Sheffield that weekend, and it was a nightmare to explain to the tutors why. “It’s like, they forget we have lives sometimes. Lives we can’t control.” She shakes her head. “It’s okay now though, I’m here now.” 
You almost trip on the stairs up to the main floor, and her hand is warm against your wrist. Your cheeks redden, but she just asks if you’re okay, smiles when you are. Tells you she’s late for a seminar, but it was lovely to meet you. Thanks again for the lecture notes. Calls you a lifesaver. Fades into the between-classes rush. You’re glad she’s here now.
again she is so <3 i get it babes i get it <3 
In other news, at the end of the chapter Kristen drops the most relatable line of the entire fucking book:
“You know how like, when it rains, all the worms come out and do a funky little dance? Yeah so basically: the rain is LIT3001 right. And the worms are all of my mental illnesses.”
11: Tomas
Tomas turns 21 on October 13th so naturally like anyone in his early 20s he has multiple crisis’ about it. I still haven’t figured this chapter ~out yet but it sure exists! It just sucks the same way it sucks to be a young adult in the late 2010s. But here’s Kristen being the most relatable character in the book again and getting bullied for it :/
(CW: alcohol)
"I still can't believe you both do a science. Like, it actually baffles me - I could not be more further from that." Kristen refills his glass, measures the vodka level with his index. "Just a babe and his silly little BA against the world." 
"You know if you wanna be a BA babe you have to actually, like, graduate."
12: Kristen
Kristen is personally like I will pretend my degree does not exist and honestly? I get it King. He visits his Dad, since he only lives 30 minutes away, but most of the chapter is him thinking about Tomas and their messy friendship and the fact that Tomas is kinda ghosting him despite literally living together :/ Anyway here’s Kristen’s cat :)
Mar snoozes on your pillow, half curled like a croissant. Orange fluff against grey sheets, and you’re not mad at the fur debris she’ll inevitably leave. Her head pops up when you sit next to her, “you forget about me yet?”. You scratch her head and it’s like you’re 12 again and you don’t have to worry about rent or degrees or masters applications or careers or groceries or housemates and you haze through Sundays snoozing in bed with your new kitten. Technically she was a birthday present, but dad couldn’t wait an extra month to adopt her. Said he saw it in her eyes at the shelter, that she belonged here. You named her Marmalade because you were a dumbass eleven year old and also thought marmalade was the shit back then. She stretches her legs and yawns. Plops her head back down, back to sleep. “Yeah, me too.”
13: Tomas
The next three chapters centre around each character’s Halloween, because <3 Halloween my beloved <3. Tomas’ starts off with him and Kristen being ~homoerotic and him being a ~disaster about it. 
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w[image description: a photo of a blue planet - Neptune - against a black background. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “You don’t know which palette he’s using, but you remember his favourite is space themed: Mars red, Neptune blue, Jupiter orange - you try to guess which planet he thinks looks best against olive. He taps the brush against the palette. Imagine the planets. How they dandelion in the air.” /end id]
When you sit in front of him, your knees press together. When he tilts your head up, thumb on chin, nail grazing the curve of your lip, his hand is ice on your skin. He studies your face, you close your eyes. When he pulls back, you swear you still feel his thumbprint on your skin. You don’t know which palette he’s using, but you remember his favourite is space themed: Mars red, Neptune blue, Jupiter orange - you try to guess which planet he thinks looks best against olive. He taps the brush against the palette. Imagine the planets. How they dandelion in the air. He holds your head in place, hand sprawls over you cheek like veins. Brushes colour into your eye socket. Underneath the radiator, your phone buzzes twice. Don’t say anything. Ignore your heartbeat.
(before this Tomas threw his phone at the radiator because someone texted him :) yeah okay mood :) )
this story is really about the ~gay disasters and also the ~dialogue 
You flop onto your bed, arms crossed over your face. “I dunno. I might just print off all the emails Uni's sent me about my dissertation. Staple them to a jacket and tell people I'm going as mental illness." 
"Tomas, if you want to go as mental illness then you don't need a costume at all."
Unfortunately the rest of the chapter is not as fun because plot had to happen but this first scene was :)
14: Junie
Junie is not a fan of Halloween so she gives up halfway through the night and invites the girl she met in her lecture over to bake cookies at 1am instead. Fellas is this gay?
(CW: alcohol)
The girl in the kitchen brought cookie cutters in pink Tupperware. She explains she’s had them since she was eight, but she hasn’t had a chance to use them this Autumn. She has seven: cat, butterfly, crescent moon, heart, three stars matryoshka’d together. “I have more, these are just my go to ones. I’m a bit of a collector.” She lines them up on the counter, you trace the outline of the cat. She says she didn’t want to bring too many, but she likes having the options with no plan, the potential. You want to tell her that, after you invited her over, you spritzed the counters with lavender surface cleaner twice and tucked the discarded vodka and raspberry liqueur bottles in the cabinet you can barely reach. You piled unfolded laundry into your closet and hid drooping plants behind your closed curtains when you had zero intention of her inviting her to your room. You want to ask her why she said yes, why she replied in two minutes at one in the morning, and you want to ask her why people feel the need to cookie cutter themselves into a false potential. She asks if you want to bake with coconut or chocolate chip.  
she is actually such a disaster around girls i love her so much
The girl in your kitchen clears up glass that isn’t hers. You drop the measuring jug and it fireworks against tile. No shards lodge in your skin. Whilst she cleans, insists that it’s okay, you brew peppermint tea because you insist it’s the least you can do. The girl tells you a story about how she did the exact same thing, when she was nine, and her mother shrieked so loud the neighbours banged at the door a minute later. She laughs, muted. You apologise again. She insists it’s okay again. Rain hardens against the window, looks like TV static. You breathe in the peppermint steam.
The biggest thing I’ve learnt since drafting is that, at it’s core, this is a love story. And that makes me so excited because so many people, especially in mainstream media, still think that autistic people are incapable of love - or even worse, undeserving. 
15: Kristen
Kristen’s favourite holiday is Halloween so naturally on his special day I had to make him go through it :) I can’t share a lot of this, but it feels right to end this beast of an update on this beast of an excerpt because it came to me out of absolutely nowhere and it is one of my favourite passages I’ve ever written OOPS
(CW: death, parental death)
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[image description: a cluster of stars against a dark blue, almost black sky. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “You want to ask your dad how something can end if for you it never began, but he’s asleep in his armchair back home. You look at the stars. You wonder if any of them are her.“ /end id]
You’ve mapped Sheffield’s streets since 13 so you know you’re walking the wrong way. This isn’t the way to Crookes. This isn’t the way out the city centre. You should order an Uber. You keep walking. You stop at a crossing. There’s no cars. You don’t cross. The traffic light flashes red and bleeds on your face. The stars are out tonight, and now it’s 2004 and you’re in the lounge with Lion King in the VHS. You’re off sick and your neighbour - Mel, recently retired, recently widowed - nurses a glass of brandy in your dad’s armchair because you don’t know it yet, but he can’t afford to miss work. You’re sprawled on the dusty-red rug when Simba and Mufasa sprawl in the grass and Mufasa tells Simba that all the stars are the Kings of the past and they are watching over him. You ask recently retired, recently widowed Mel if that’s true; her smile is happy but her eyes are sad and she says “yes, and not just Kings. Nobody leaves Earth, they just move to the stars.” 
Ten minutes later, Mufasa is flung off a gorge’s edge; you haven’t studied storytelling yet, but you understand those two moments are connected. And when you relay this to dad over ready made pasta that evening, you ask him if people really live in the stars: Sometimes, when they can’t live here anymore. Then you ask if they can come back from the stars: No, but people remember them. They’ll tell stories about them, so people don’t forget. Then you ask if memories and stories are like stars: A little. Then you ask why they can’t live here anymore: It’s hard to explain, Kris.
After dinner, he lets you play on the plastic slide in the garden as he scrubs the dishes. You climb to the top and try to see faces in the stars, but it’s too cloudy. And after that but before bedtime, you’re sprawled on the dusty-red rug again, and Lion King is in the VHS again, and as Simba and Nala are bathed by their mothers again, your five year old mind connects what’s different about you. You go to ask dad about it, but he’s asleep in his armchair. It’s 2018, you’re stood on a phantom street in Sheffield. You want to ask your dad how something can end if for you it never began, but he’s asleep in his armchair back home. You look at the stars. You wonder if any of them are her.
And I usually don’t do this, but I think the playlist for this wip is absolutely fucking elite, so here’s a handful of the songs that I think encapsulate the story the best:
The Wombats – Greek Tragedy
Duncan Laurence – Arcade
FKA Twigs – Two Weeks
Peach Pit – Alrighty Aphrodite
Khalid – Saturday Nights
Alfie Templeman – Stop Thinking (About Me)
Rina Sawayama – 10-20-40
If you read this far, then I love you and we shall have a platonic wedding this summer. But I cannot express how excited I am about this story and to see where it goes!
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seungmoroll · 3 years
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Heather | Lee Felix
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Word count: 5.3k
Genre: fluff, realization of feelings, friends to lovers, baker Felix, slight angst(?)
A/N: the next part of the Heather series is finally up! you can read the other parts here.
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    As you open the door, the sweet smell of pastries fills up your nose. Every time this place reminds you of the precious moments of when you were a child watching your grandmother bake some sweets that you would then have to hide from your mother. Inside, beautiful freshly made sweets are on display for others to enjoy, and as you walk around, making your way to pick out the treats that you needed, you can’t help but be in awe with the craftsmanship that was put into every single dessert. You have to remember to compliment the baker. Speaking of the baker, once you’ve made your way to the front displays by the cash register, his warm smile greets you.
    “Good morning Y/n, beautiful day isn’t it?” Just like his freshly baked goods and the bright sun, his voice brings you a sense of warmth.
    “Morning Felix. It’s a wonderful day today. I’m sure the kids are going to love being outside.” The kids that you mentioned were the kids that you took care of at the daycare you worked at. It wasn’t a big daycare or anything. At most there were 8 kids, but you enjoyed that there wasn’t a lot of kids because you really got to know them. Plus, you don’t think you and your coworker Jeongin could handle any more kids.
    “Oh I bet they will. Wait, that reminds me, let me grab something from the back.” He leaves, leaving you wondering what he could possibly be getting. When he returns, he comes out holding a box and places it on the display counter.
    “Here, this is for you to take.” It was common for Felix to make special treats for the kids. At first you tried to refuse his offers, but he came up with excuses such as saying that he owed Jeongin or that they were just extra. You didn’t believe those excuses though, but it was kind of hard to say no to Felix. Besides, it’s not like the kids were opposed to the treats.
    “Ah, thank you Felix. I’m sure the kids will love it. What’s in here?”
    “Actually, it’s for you. It’s a cheesecake that I made.”
    “Oh? I can’t take this for free, let me pay for this.” You know Felix put all his hard work into everything that he made, and you refused to not pay for it.
    Shaking his head, “No, no. I made it specifically for you, so I’m refusing to take your money, and don’t you dare slip in some extra cash to Nakyung at the cash register.” Dang it, he knew exactly you were planning on doing.
    “Fine, but I have to pay you back somehow.”
    “Another drawing from one of the kids is good enough for me.” Sometimes the kids liked to draw the treats that Felix gave them, and so on day you brought the drawing in to let Felix see and according to Nakyung, he puts them up on the wall in the kitchen.
    “I’ll make sure that they’ll get delivered to you safely the next time I visit.” Felix smiles at your response, but your conversation is interrupted when another customer comes up and asks for help. After realizing that you were going to be late if you stayed here any longer, you head towards the cash register, where Nakyung stood there waiting for you.
    “Hi Y/n, will this be all for you?” She kindly greeted you. You actually knew Nakyung from high school. The two of you weren’t necessarily friends back then, being that you were a part of two different circles, but she was a kind person to everyone.
    “Yes, this is it for me.” Today you grabbed two blueberry muffins and a brownie (Jeongin’s favorite thing at the bakery).  
    “I see that Felix has given you another dessert. Is it for the kids?”
    “No, uh, it’s actually for me, but of course I’m going to share some with the kids.”
    “Oh, I see. I think it’s sweet that he makes you something special.” You could tell from the tone of her voice that there was something that was slightly off, but you didn’t have time to question it because you had to make your way to the daycare. However, you had a feeling you knew what the reason for her tone to be like that. You might have to talk to her about it later though.
    Grabbing your newly bought goods, you make your way towards the exit, but not before you bid Nakyung and Felix a goodbye, “Bye guys, hope you have a good day!”
    When you finally arrive at the daycare, you are met with the sound of gentle music playing and the sight of Jeongin swaying along to the music as he tidies up the play area. Not wanting to interrupt his flow, you lean against the doorway, waiting for him notice your presence. When he finally turns around, he slightly jumps at the sight of you. You chuckle in amusement. Clutching his chest, he asks you, “How long have you been there?”
    Walking up to him, and presenting him his brownie, you say, “Oh not that long, I just wanted to enjoy my view. Here’s your brownie by the way.” Jeongin gladly takes the brownie in your hand and questions the box in your hand.
    “Oh, this? Felix made me a cheesecake.” You miss the way Jeongin cocks his eyebrow at you as you make your way to your office to put your things up. Following you, Jeongin jokingly asks, “Did he now?” You could tell by the tone of Jeongin’s voice that he was trying to instigate something,
    “Whatever ever you’re thinking of, just stop it right now.”
    Feigning innocence, he says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You knew he knew exactly what you were talking about. For some reason, Jeongin thinks that Felix has a crush on you, and you find the idea ridiculous because everyone who goes to the bakery knows the Felix likes Nakyung.
    Shoving your free cheesecake into the mini fridge, “I still don’t get why you think Felix likes me.” When you turn back around, you see Jeongin pointing at the fridge, “Because he gives you things like cheesecake and other sweets for free because he specifically makes them only for you.” Rolling your eyes at his explanation, you push past him and go back towards the front of the daycare to wait for the arrival of the children.
    “He knows I share them with the kids, so he just says that he makes it for me to hide the real fact that it’s for the kids.” From where the two of you stand by the front entrance, you can see the first child making their way to the daycare with their father. Ending the conversation for now, Jeongin says, “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.”
    Later on in the week, you knew you were forgetting something when you left your house this morning. Mentally reprimanding yourself for forgetting your umbrella, you do your best to quickly make your way home. Usually you never stay at the day care so late, but Daisy, a sweet little seven-year-old girl, wasn’t able to be picked up until 6 today because her mother had an important meeting, and of course you and Jeongin didn’t mind staying back. After Daisy was picked up by her mom, you and Jeongin had to put up new decorations for the daycare which took you guys about an hour and a half. Once you were both done decorating, you had deemed yourself too tired to cook yourself dinner that night, so you had gone out and got yourself some Korean chicken. Unfortunately for you, the wait time took forever and by the time you left the restaurant it was already pouring.
    In situations like this, this is why your parents told you to take your car to work, but you didn’t mind the 15-minute walk, except currently you did mind. You thought to yourself that you might’ve looked a bit crazy running in the pouring rain, soaked from head to toe, but at this point, you didn’t care about how you looked, you just wanted to get home. Just as you were about to pass the very familiar bakery, an also very familiar figure comes out the door causing for you to come to an abrupt halt.
    “Y/n? Is that you?” It was Felix. He must’ve been getting ready to close the bakery since it was already almost 9. Quickly dodging the rain by going under the awning, you greet Felix.
    “Oh, hey Felix.” You try your best to act casual, but it’s a bit for you to do since your quivering from the cold.
    “Gosh, you’re drenched. Here come on inside.” Before you could object, Felix is ushering you inside the bakery and you let out a relieved sigh as you feel some sort of warmth. As soon as Felix had walked back in, he immediately went towards the back of the bakery, leaving you to awkwardly stand in the middle of the bakery. A small puddle of water has begun to form on the floor because of you. When Felix returns to the front, he is carrying a towel and what you believe is extra clothing. Silently, he wraps the towel around you and hands you another one for you to use to wipe your face.
    As you pat your face dry, Felix offers the extra clothes to you, “Here go change into these.” Not wanting to be more of a nuisance to him, you kindly reject his offer, “Thank you, but I‘m fine.”
    “Y/n,” he sternly says, “your clothes are soaking wet, if you don’t change out of them soon, you’re going to catch a cold.”
    “No seriously Felix, it’s fine. You know my house is only 7 minutes from here. I can survive 7 more minutes in these clothes and in the rain.”
    “Are you crazy? You can’t go back in the rain.” He motions out the window, and you can see that the rain has started to come down harder. You pause and take a moment to think about your current situation: on one hand, you could run all the way back home and take a nice warm shower, but on the other hand, you’re enjoying the warmth of the bakery too much and you really don’t want to go back in the rain. However, the look that Felix is giving you right now makes you feel like the first option is not a viable one for you. Reluctantly, you take the clothes that Felix is offering to you and make your way towards the restroom to go change. Once you’ve finished getting change, you look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was a complete sad mess, but you have to say that the clothes Felix gave you makes you look somewhat decent. Looking down at the design displayed on your chest, you realize that you were wearing the t-shirt that all the workers at the bakery wore.
    Exiting the restroom, you see Felix mopping the floor, “Sorry about that by the way.”
    Finishing up, he says to you, “It’s no problem really, now the floor is extra clean.” That was something you liked about Felix, he always made it seem like you or any other person was never a bother.
    Looking outside the window, you see that the rain hasn’t let up, “Wow, it’s really raining hard.”
    “Yeah, looks like you may be here a while.” Accepting your fate, you pull down a chair that was stacked on one of the tables and set it down, grabbing the bag that you had with you and opening it up. The aroma of Korean chicken fills your nostrils, and you make a gesture to the spot in front of you to Felix, who kindly accepts.
    “Nice dinner you got there.”
    Pointing towards the box, “Would you like some?”
    “I would love some.” He happily grabs a wing and starts munching on it.
    For the next few minutes, the two of you silently enjoy your food.
    “Y’know,” Felix starts, “I think this is the first time me and you have hung out by ourselves.” Taking a moment to think, you realize that he’s right. Usually Nakyung or Jeongin would be with you guys, but due to circumstances they’re not.
    “It’s not weird is it?”
    Quickly shaking his head, he says, “No, no, not at all. I actually quite like this. I feel like I can get to know you better now.” It’s not like you and Felix didn’t know anything about each other. You had come to the bakery so often, so of course you’d get to know one another. Using this as your chance to get to know each other better, you ask Felix, “Is there anything you want to ask me?”
    Taking a second to think, he asks you, “Why’d you start working at the daycare?” You go on to explain to him that you always wanted to work with children, but being an actual teacher was too much for you. So when you saw online that there was an open position at the daycare, you went to visit for an interview, and basically fell in love with all the children who were there. And now here you were, a year later, still loving your job. “Okay, my turn. How’d you get into baking?”
    “It was just a hobby; something to do in my free time, and at first, I was horrible at it. The first thing I ever baked were a batch of brownies, and they ended up being rock solid. Instead of stopping because I failed, I attempted to make them again until I made the best brownies. Everyone fell in love with them, just like Jeongin, and then I started branching out into other desserts and pastries. Now I’m here, living my best life where I get to bake whatever I want, and see people enjoy my creations.” You could tell that Felix really enjoyed being a baker with the way he joyful answered your question.
    The night continued on like this, with each of you throwing questions back and forth getting to know one another, the rain seeming like it would never lighten. Eventually the questions stop, but instead the pair of you told stories about your pasts.
    “You know, back in high school, Nakyung was so popular.” You had no idea what prompted you to bring this up to Felix, but you couldn’t stop yourself from continuing.
    “That’s not surprising.” Felix responds.
    “Yeah, she was so popular that every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to be with her, including every single one of my crushes.” That last part slipped out on accident, but now that it’s been said, you couldn’t take it back.
    “Oh.”
    Quickly, to not ruin the mood, you say, “It’s not like I hated her for that or anything. I couldn’t possibly hate her for something like that. I’m not that petty, but I’m sure it was nice to have so many guys falling for you.”
    In attempt to make you feel better, Felix says, “I’m sure there were plenty of people that liked you too. They were probably just too shy to say or do anything.” Felix’s comment makes you laugh, “Please, no one liked me the way they did Nakyung.”
    “If it makes you feel any better, I can say that I do.” You don’t understand what Felix means by that, so you tilt your head in confusion.
    “What do you mean?”
    Watching Felix take a deep breath, he confesses, “I like you Y/n.” It takes you a moment to process what Felix has said to you. This didn’t seem very real to you at all. You’ve never had someone confess to you. You were just so used to everyone liking all the prettier girls like Nakyung. It almost seemed hysterical to you.
    “No you don’t.” You’re quick to turn down Felix’s confession.
    “I-what?”
    “You don’t like me Felix, you say firmly.
    The look on Felix’s face shows you that he’s not understanding what’s currently happening. “Why are you saying that?”
    “Because you have liked Nakyung for so long, and she likes you back. I just happened to pique your interest for the moment because you may have gotten tired from your regular routine, but when it comes down to it Lix, Nakyung is the one for you.” Every word that you said was how you truly felt about things.
    “Maybe that was true in the beginning when you first started to visit the bakery because I was interested in finding out what type of person you were, but then something shifted when you became a regular and we truly started to get to know each other.” Felix’s confession is too much for you. When you thought of Felix, you thought of Nakyung. In your mind they were a package; you couldn’t have one without the other. And you didn’t want to be the person that got in the middle of something perfect and ruin it.
    “I’m sorry Felix,” you gently say. You felt bad for rejecting him, but you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, nor did you truly think that he had actual feeling for you. Quickly getting up, you thank him for his kindness and rush out the bakery door, not caring that it was still pouring outside.
    “Wait! Y/n!” Felix calls after you, however, you don’t bother to turn around, ignoring his calls.
    It had been a couple of weeks since you rejected Felix, and you were currently on your way to the market to pick up some groceries, when you heard a voice calling out your name, “Y/n!” Looking around to see who it was, you see Nakyung approaching you. “Hey Nakyung.”
    “Hey you, I haven’t seen you at the bakery in a while.” You thought it was best to avoid the bakery ever since you rejected Felix’s confession.
    “Oh, yeah, I’ve just been busy recently that I couldn’t stop by.” Which was totally false, you just weren’t that close to Nakyung to tell her the true reason why.
    “Are you busy? We can go get a drink at the bakery.” The bakery was the last place you wanted to be right now.
    “Actually, why don’t we go to Starbucks? I needed to get a gift card anyways.” No you didn’t, but it seemed like a good excuse.
    “That works for me.”
    Once the two of you arrived at Starbucks and ordered your drinks, plus the gift card that you were just going to use on yourself, you had sat down at a table in the corner.
    “So how have you been recently?” You ask Nakyung to startup a conversation.
    “Oh me? I’ve been doing good, and you? How have you been doing?”
    “I’m doing good as well.”
    “Quit the crap Y/n, there’s something going on in that little head of yours.” You weren’t sure if Nakyung was just good at reading people or if she knew about you and Felix.
    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She gives you a look, that means that she doesn’t believe what you’re saying, “Okay, fine. I’ve been…distracted by something.”
    “And does this something have to do with a light-haired baker?” Now you were definitely sure that she knew. Felix probably told her everything. Maybe he didn’t have to tell her anything and she just could tell that something was off with him.
    Hesitantly, you ask her, “Okay, what do you know?”
    “I don’t know a lot, but I do know that Felix likes you and that you rejected him. So why? Why’d you reject him?” So she did know about Felix’s supposed feelings for you. Instead of replying to her questions, you say, “I’m sorry.” Not expecting that to be your response, Nakyung is a little taken back, but relaxes within a second.
    “Please don’t do that. Don’t apologize for something that you couldn’t have prevented.” Nakyung was handling this situation better than you would have. You know you would have either been yelling or crying to both you and Felix.
    “You know, I kind of figured he…that what we had was disappearing when his smile started becoming wider whenever he saw you. Then I really confirmed it when he started giving you special baked goods because that’s what he used to do for me.” By the end of her sentence, her tone became very somber and you just wanted to reach across the table and hug her.
    In attempt to make her feel better, you say, “I’m sure that what Felix is feeling for me right now will pass. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and no one can look at a person like that and say that they don’t like you.” Nakyung takes a moment to collect her thoughts before saying to you,
    “You’re right. Which is why I can say that I too have seen the way he looks at you, and it’s a look I’ve never seen him give me.” Unable to find any words to say back to her, you watch as she looks down sadly at the drink in her hands. Reaching across the table, you gently lay a hand on top of hers as a gesture to let her know that it’s okay and that you’re right there for her.
    “Y’know,” she laughs to herself before continuing, “I think the tables have finally turned.” Your head tilts to the side as you try to figure out what she meant. Sensing your confusion, she goes on to say, “Back in high school, I knew about your crushes on Eric, Hwiyoung and Jaemin.” Surprised, you drop your hand from hers and lean back in your chair, looking at her with a stunned expression, wondering how she could’ve possibly known.
    “You were obvious Y/n. You basically followed them around like a lost puppy, and I only figured it out because they followed me around like a lost puppy.” You were unable to deny her claim. Looking back on it now, that’s exactly how it was in high school.
    “But now, like I said, the tables have turned, and the guy that I like likes you.” Taking in her words, you realize that she’s finally feeling the pain you felt in the past, except for it’s worse for her because their feelings went both ways unlike your one-sided crushes.
    “But you know I don’t like him, right?” You never saw Felix in that way. To you, he was just the sweet, bright guy who baked amazing pastries. He was the guy that knew how to brighten up the room. He was also the guy that you forward to seeing every morning you planned to visit the bakery.
    “Lost in thought there?” Nakyung’s voice brings you out of your thoughts about Felix. Once you’ve focused your attention back onto Nakyung, she’s giving you this expression that you can’t quite describe. “Oh, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”
    “I asked you if you were sure about that because you know, I wouldn’t blame you if you did like Felix. He’s an amazing guy; a total sweetheart. He listens to all your concerns and makes you cute little treats. He gives the best hugs. His smile makes you want to smile. Honestly, I could go on and on about him, and I think you could too.”  With the way Nakyung spoke of Felix, you could tell that her feelings for Felix were deep, which made you feel worse because you unintentionally ruined something that was great.
    Nakyung looks down at the time on her phone and starts to get ready to leave. “I have to go soon, my shift is about to start, but look Y/n,” she pauses to look you in the eyes, “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. You can’t help it when someone’s feelings change. It’s not your fault. And I know that you don’t like Felix, but maybe just give him a chance. The two of you both deserve to be happy, and I can tell that you already make him happy, and I can guarantee that he’ll make you happy too. Just think about it, yeah? Don’t think about me, think about yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where you can find me.” With that, she bids you a goodbye, leaving you alone to think about her words and Felix.
    The following day after your impromptu hangout with Nakyung and after a long night of thinking, you were at the daycare getting ready for story time. While you were busy trying to round up the kids for story time, you hear a knock off in the distance, and then all of a sudden, all of the kids started to run off in one direction. Turning around to see who could possibly have caused the kids to get this excited, you are met with the sight of Felix holding a pastry box. He manages to send you a wave, while some of the kids try to get him to carry them. Awkwardly standing in your position, you wave back at him and contemplate whether or not you should help him or not. Being the good person that you are, you choose to help him.
    “Kids, I know you guys are happy to see Felix and he’s happy to see you, but I don’t think he appreciates you guys bombarding him. I’m sure that if you guys give him a little bit of space that he’ll share his lovely treats with you guys.” At the sound of your last sentence, the kids relax and back away from him. Felix gives you a thankful smile, and then goes to squat down to speak to the kids.
    “You guys want to see what I brought you guys today?” Cheers of yes’s sound off, and you can’t help but let out a soft chuckle. Suddenly you sense a presence next to you, “Oh? Felix is here?”
    Slightly turning to Jeongin, “Yeah, I wonder why.” Jeongin does his best to avoid your gaze, “I don’t know, why don’t you go and ask him.” He gently shoves you towards the direction of Felix, which catches Felix’s attention.
    He smiles up at you as you slowly approach him. He’s still handing out the cake pops that he’s brought for the kids. After he’s given the last child their cake pop, he rises back up, giving you the same smile he gave the kids.
    “Hey.”
    “Hi.” The awkwardness is killing you.
    “Heyy.” The last hey comes from Jeongin, and the glare you send him makes him back off. Though you do appreciate his effort of trying to make this less awkward than it already was.
    “Hey Jeongin.” Jeongin then goes off to wrangle the kids together again, leaving you and Felix by yourselves in awkward silence.
    “Soo…what made you stop by?” This was the first time Felix had come down to the daycare, so you really weren’t sure why he was here, especially with everything that’s happened between the two of you.
    “Oh, today’s my day off and to keep myself busy I thought I’d try out this new cake pop recipe and thought that the kids would like to try them.” Of course Felix was still baking on his day off.
    “And I thought that you would like these.” Felix hands you a small container. Curious, you open it up to see your favorite macarons.
    “How’d you know these were my favorite?”
    “Y/n, you buy at least two of them every time they’re available.” You didn’t realize that Felix noticed that about you, but then again you didn’t realize a lot of things about Felix.
    “Oh, um thank you.”
    “You’re welcome, I just thought that since you haven’t been by Sunshine’s recently that you might be missing them, so I made some for you this morning.” The smile he gives you gives you a warm feeling on the inside, and you do your best to ignore it.
    “You made them this morning? Felix you really didn’t have to.”
    “No, it’s alright, I wanted to…and I wanted to see you.” That’s why he was truly here. It’s been about a week since you’ve rejected him, which has been enough time for you to think.
    “Ah, I see.” Before you could say anything else, Daisy walks up to the two of you and grabs at Felix’s hand.
    “Felix, will you sit with me during story time?”
    “Daisy, I’m sure Felix would love to, but he’s probably very busy today.”
    “Actually, I’m not, so yes Daisy, I’d love to sit with you during story time.” He gives you a cheeky grin before letting the little girl guide him to the reading circle.
    For the entirety of story time, you and Jeongin had to deal with little children with sugar rushes and you could say that you were slightly thankful for the fact that Felix was there to help the two of you. Even though he was the reason as to why they were like this. You had also done you best to ignore the longing stares Felix gave you as you read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Once story time finish, it was time for the children to pack up and get ready to be picked up. Fortunately for you, this meant that Felix didn’t have a chance to talk to you, but unfortunately for you, once the last child left, Felix was still at the daycare.
    “I got to go check something in the office, be right back.” Jeongin excuses himself from the room, leaving you alone with Felix. You mentally curse Jeongin because you knew he left so Felix could talk to you.
    “Y/n-“ Before Felix could finish what he was saying, you cut him off. “Could you hand me that?” Pointing at the doll that needed to be put up. Handing you the doll, Felix catches your wrist when you turn around to put it up. “Y/n, can we just talk for a minute?”
    Slowly turning around, you say to him, “There’s nothing to talk about.” You knew you were being rude to Felix, but you thought you were doing what was right.
    “Okay fine, just listen okay? If you don’t have anything to say to me afterwards then I’ll get out of your hair.” Instead of responding, you continue to pick up the toys the kids left on the ground.
    You hear Felix take a deep breath before he goes on to say, “I know that it was sudden when I confessed to you, but I truly meant it Y/n. And I know that you think that I like Nakyung still, but I don’t, and I haven’t for a while now. Before you can say that I was playing with her feelings while liking you, I know, and I feel horrible, but she was a safe place for me and then you came in like a tornado and ruined that for me. I just want you to know that we talked about it, and she’s okay with us. If there’s even a chance for us. I just hope that you’ll give me a chance to show you my true feelings.”
    Stopping your actions, you take a moment to process Felix’s words. You felt bad for Nakyung, but you couldn’t help but feel a small yearning for Felix. After everything that’s happened, you’ve come to the conclusion that you may have feelings for Felix. He was everything you wanted in a partner, and here he was trying his best to be with you.
    “You won’t be giving away special desserts to other people, right?” At the sound of your sentence, a smile starts to grow on Felix’s face.
    Chuckling, he says, “No, I won’t. Except for the kids.”
    “And me!” Jeongin yells out from the back. The two of you can’t help but laugh at him. Instead of directly responding to Felix, you walk closer to him, and slightly bump him with your waist. “Good.”
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A/N: im so sorry this took so long to come out; I had so many ideas for this and didn’t know which direction to go in, but I hope you guys liked it. feel free to let me know what you guys think!
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sanstropfremir · 3 years
Text
episode 9 baby!!! dear lord that was a lot!!
frankly, i'm still in shock that i full on manifested an opera stage, AND it was a rock opera stage at that! plus i got a jazz stage AND a taemin stage??? if they’re pulling out all my favourites now then what on earth are they gonna do in the finale??? this was a very overwhelming crop of stages, i thought i was going to be prepared, but oh no i was not prepared. i'm just going to get right into it because this one is gonna be long and i have many words. i'll discuss in airing order first, and then put my personal rankings for this round at the end.
btob
costume
changsub, you absolute king. spectacular. stunning. incredible. zoot suit riot playing in my brain on repeat. will i finally get the zoot suit revival of my fucking dreams instead of this current drab ill-fitting suit trend? for those who are wondering why in the fuck changsub is dressed like that and what on earth i’m talking about, the specific cut of suit that he’s wearing is called a zoot suit, which were popular in mexican, black and italian american communities in the 30s and 40s, until they were outlawed by the united states war production board as a fabric rationing method as part of the war effort in 1942. there was a huge amount of mob violence surrrounding the wearing of them (there were actual zoot suit riots) as they were direct counter culture fashion to the predominant drab trends of white americans at the time. i'm actually very impressed they got a proper (modernized) cut of zoot suit instead of just putting him in an oversized one; there are actually specific structural differences. the pegged trouser legs, large should pads, and knee length single breasted jacket are key features, and they were often in much more flashy fabrics than a pinstripe, but they get points for effort. i wish they had put all of them in zoot suits but he’s playing the ‘lead’ actor so i will begrudgingly forgive them.
eunkwang those are the stupidest sleeve garters ive ever seen i love them never take them off. they’re like someone decided to repurpose a suspender in the worst way. excellent. i do love that they’ve got three of them in oxford saddle shoes, another great touch.
love the three piece and the fedora* on peniel. it's also in a relatively close period cut; waistcoasts (vests) were generally cut much higher in the neck pre-war, we only start seeing the neckline slide down in the 60s (i think? i don’t remember when exactly). also love to see a proper sleeve and jacket length, it's good practice to have at least a finger’s width of sleeve cuff visible ahead of the jacket sleeve when hanging at rest. also looks like there’s french cuffs on everyone, which is also great.
minhyuk in his slutty lowneck shirt....thank you. in addition to the zoot suit revival i would also like a revival of those ultra low necklines on mens’ shirts from like 2010-2011. i don’t think those are the same boots from the backdoor stage but those are some beautifully cut boots. i also loved the little details of his crewmember look, especially the chunky watch and the string bracelets; those are super realistic, i know so many crew with them and i had several for many years. and who doesn’t love a visible button fly?
none of any of the other costumes are period in any way shape or form but i’m forgiving it because there’s several layers of meta in this stage, and they explicitly based it on la la land, even though we don’t respect la la land in this house. do i wish they had gone more strictly period with at least the jazz club ‘actors’ a little more? absolutely, but i'm not mad about it.
set
again we’ve got a good delineation of the two different ‘stages,’ there’s the club itself in the smaller stage and the soundstage set in the larger space. you can pretty clearly see all the ‘pieces’ of the set on the soundstage, especially the obvious set painting techniques on false prosc frame and the window facade from that first little scene. also the you can see the castors (wheels) on all the setpieces too, which is another nice little versimilitudinous** (triple word score!) touch, as old hollywood movies were made still using theatre stagecraft techniques.
i love how the visual shorthand for ‘this is a set wink wonk’ is just...leaving a ladder on stage. i see it all the time and it's so funny. it doesn’t always make sense because as soon as there’s actors on set the ladders are the first thing cleared because actors cannot be trusted, but yes there are always ladders, so. also psa ladder safety is no joke, please be careful on ladders.
nice streamline of the mnet deco into the club. i’m consistently surprised at how well the designers have been able to mask it or use it to their advantage, because in the normal kingdom stage lighting it is SO obvious and stylistic that it always sticks out.
i'm going to ignore the fact that they implied changsub and miyeon were drinking wine out of martini glasses.
lighting
no complaints, it does its job. everything is visible and super clear. love that the ‘scene’ changes are made through the lighting, it's a really simple and effective device to change atmosphere. purple/blue/amber are the most flattering colours on human skin and that’s why you see it so commonly in stage lighting. also blue/lavendar is the best way to show nighttime/moonlight.
really nice and subtle projection work, especially with the billboard bit and the blue moon sign in the club. despite being obviously meta/’world breaking’ it’s actually very seamless and fits well into the flow of the stage.
sound
i love love love the big band feel in the intro, combined with the piano lead. very duke ellington, as all things should be.
no complaints. i love big band. i love eunkwang’s voice. i have nothing else to say.
staging
i LOVE this movie within a movie within a performance meta nonsense! it's such a fun concept and it is exactly what i wanted ikon’s first round stage to be! i also love to see btob consistently coming up with concepts that are inventive and fun and allow them to showcase their technical performance skills without the aerobics the younger groups are putting themselves through. it provides a really lovely variety and it just goes to show that you can make impressive, dramatic stages without having to be serious or ‘dark.’
i do wish they had leaned into the band director/lead singer with eunkwang a bit more; this could have been a really excellent place for a tap number a la the nicholas brothers or an homage to cab calloway. i know i know this was meant to be la la land themed but la la land is a cheap and whitewashed version of jazz and look me right in the eyes and tell me this isn’t the greatest tap routine of all time. i know i’ve typed this out somewhere before but la la land is just a conglomeration of old hollywood tropes and so stylistically cheap that this would have such a better visual core if they had actually looked back at the real old hollywood musicals like stormy weather. even singing in the rain and an american in paris have such phenomenal visuals and are really beautiful examples of the scope you can pull off with a limited technical capacity and sticking to these old techniques.
now that i'm thinking about it, oh my GOD i would DIE for a lindy hop routine in kpop PLEASE. i know it would never happen because kpop doesn’t like partner dancing and not a single kpop boy has the chops but oh you think fourth gen has too many acrobatics?
this got off track but i think you see my point.
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ateez
costume
these are really sharply cut suits. and the detail work on the beading??? so beautiful. i'm disappointed that they gave me a rock opera stage without the true ridiculousness of rock opera costuming, because they could have pushed this a lot farther if they really wanted. a tragic lack of gay little outfits, seonghwa’s lace choker is just not enough! two favourite suits: hongjoong’s and yunho’s.
that being said i do actually really like these. this stage is actually very modern opera with a kpop twist and i'm a little surprised by that? i continue to be impressed by the ateez team who are clearly doing their research.
i'm absolutely not going back through their stages to check all the choreography but i wonder if you can track all the ‘wound’ placements to places they’ve been ‘hit.’ i wouldn’t put it past them to have put that thought in but also i’m not expecting that much either.
who is this white grim reaper bdsm executioner chain arm man. where did he come from. i have no idea and i love it.
why is honjoong blindfolded. it was such a fast beat, if youre gonna blindfold someone give it a little longer and some more obvious narrative weight!
seonghwa does that quickchange, runs across that massive stage to the smaller set, and gets into places in like 45 seconds. it's not the hardest quickchange in the world but still, under a minute is fast for any quickchange, especially when there’s travel time involved. i think the fastest, most complex quickchange i ever did was in university which was a 50s cocktail dress into a flannel and culottes with a shoe, hair, and jewelry change in 35 seconds. and that took three dressers. quickchanges are always impressive. the added bonus of this review being later is that i can specifically reference that you can see him book it the fuck off stage in the full cam!
cute moment with the backup dancers dressed in costumes from the previous stages. i'm assuming this is a time travel reference? i'll get more into my thoughts on this in the staging section. regardless, love to see that iconic seonghwa moment again.
set
this is such a restricted space! they really pared down their dancing space with those staircases and ....arms? honestly i have NO clue what these are supposed to be. the only thing i can maybe think of is flying buttresses??? but why?? i mean, i'm 90% sure theyre just there for drama and i agree but i do still have questions.
there’s a lot of moving parts in this set? the buttresses, and the upstage centre staircase. i don’t think the staircase is totally automated because i spotted some dancers securing it in place, but it’s still a moving part. i do really like that we get that expanding upwards energy, because it's really tough to get functional level movement in this kind of a performance, mostly because of its length and because it moves so quickly. so seeing the downward vertical movement and then the upward movement was actually a really nice visual contrast that made use of how tall those fucking ceilings are, and the fact that they had less horizontal space. in sort of similar way to sf9’s jealousy stage, using long, narrow vertical lines really makes it feel like a castle space. the interiors of castles, especially the really old ones, are a lot smaller than you think they would be.
i’ve actually seen that type of small house/tent/thing several times in various types of performances before, but i think this is the first time i’ve seen it used as a time travel device (other than in the say my name mv). aesthetically it's a bit incongruent but i dont really mind because i'm used to watching rock operas that look a lot weirder than this.
lighting
there is so much happening. i have NO clue what the projections are doing. i dont hate it though, so that’s a plus? there’s a clear-ish colour arc even if it does get a bit funky in the middle, which is why the projections dont feel as insanely distracting as some of the other stages we’ve seen.
the climax is a perfect example of how to light a busy stage with primarily red but still maintain clarity on the performers. a little bit of red goes a long way; the spark stage from last week would have looked so much better if they had done what the ateez designers did here.
sound
i know it's only ode to joy, but answer already gets my motor running and then i get so gassed by the guitars and then by the time those vocals come in i'm inconsolable. i don’t know why i wasn’t expecting a rock opera stage but i'm so glad i got that surprise because i genuinely love rock operas so much. it's two of the most dramatic genres in music, what more could you possibly want?
staging
the choreo for answer is so goofy that I'm kinda glad this was mostly terrible mnet boom shots. i love it, but you can't deny that it's goofy. i spotted a couple of moves from their other choreos as well?
choreographing dance fights is just as difficult as choreographing real fights and i think they did a fairly good job here. i think it was a solid mix of dance and conflict that erred on the side of dramatic rather than accurate and i prefer that over trying to be ‘realistic.’ i’ve only ever seen one truly realistic fight scene on stage and that was for a deeply naturalist play (boring and a waste of the medium), but the best fight scene i’ve ever seen was in the prague national ballet’s adaptation of kafka’s the trial where three ballet dancers beat the absolute snot out of the main character with the most beautiful leg extensions. that whole show was probably one of the best pieces of dance i’ve ever seen, holy fuck it was so good.
despite how insane the music and the visuals were going, i actually really liked how sedate this was, on the part of ateez’s performance. there was a really sophisticated and resigned energy from them that is very different from what we’ve previously seen and i think that was a pretty admirable risk to take. reaching the top and then throwing away the crown? especially in a competition where every other stage has involved stealing crowns or royalty and there’s a group competing that got here through that very concept? that shows a real maturity, peace of mind, and foresight that i did not at all expect from a bunch of 22 year olds.
here we come to a very interesting comparison. both ateez and tbz are very heavily leaning on previously established group lore. we all know my thoughts on why it isn’t working for tbz, but here’s why i think it is working for ateez: it's because it doesn’t matter to the audience’s understanding of the stage. i had absolutely no fucking clue what was going on the first time i watched this, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the music and all the weird shit they were doing. i totally believed that they understood what was going on. there’s a loose enough established conflict right at the beginning that draws us in, and really it doesn’t matter who they're fighting because they win in the end. the key here is that they’re so earnest. they believe 100% in every move they make on that stage. there’s no winks to camera, there’s not a drop of irony. they really deeply care about the ridiculousness of it all and that’s what makes it work. i sure as fuck dont know what’s going on, but i can see that they do, and i trust that. this is what i meant when i talked about convincing the audience you belong on stage in my stage presence post. i’ve never once believed that juyeon was anything other than an idol. he’s talented and very beautiful and he may occasionally stand on that stage like he owns it but it's always as juyeon. as an idol. but when hongjoong flaps around in that gigantic fur coat i 100% believe he’s a pirate captain. I believe he’s a punk rebel leader. i believe him a resigned king. there’s always a level of irony you have to fight as a performer because we all start from a place of disbelief. acting is not just lying to the audience, it's lying to yourself too. and if you succeed in convincing yourself? well, you’re already halfway to convincing us.
i checked it out because i wanted to see if they did the blindfold how i expected them to and was genuinely surprised by hongjoong’s fancam. the boy is EMOTING even when he knew the camera wasn’t on him; that’s a real dedication to craft.
ok i'm finished talking about this stage, this is over two pages in my document, there’s so many things i have not covered here but that’s fine, i'm quite sure any further thoughts will end up out there at some point.
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sf9
costume
let’s get it out of the way......crop top. crop top? crop top. crop top.
ok, besides the crop top, i think i might actually like the backup dancer outfits more...? i find mannequin adjacent looks really fascinating and i thought there was a lot more they could have done here in connecting the two thematically. i actually think a change of costume on the boys would have been very interesting, especially because there was a lot of inference and direct reference to changes of colour.
ALL the backup dancers are wearing the same wig and i LOVE that.
special mention zuho’s.....jacket? the right idea but it absolutely should have been one of those extreme french cut bodysuits, you COWARDS. don’t come at me with this ‘male version of venus’ if you don’t have your whole torso out! come on!
set
not sure if this is meant to be a department store, a factory, or a white cube gallery. honestly you could make the case that they’re all the same place anyways. more on this later.
i loved the movator and wish they had used it more! that sequence was so good and they could have done some more interesting repetition sequences to further highlight the ‘sameness’/the breaking of that sameness.
i feel like the set could have been used more as a whole? i would have loved to see some mannequin interactions with those boxes, because all they did was dump colour everywhere.
....why did they feel the need to include the rain bit? i know it's likely because it's in the mv and at the 2018 dream concert taemin does perform move in the rain, but with the standing still and the box walls with the words it just looks like a department store ad. which i...dont think is what they were intending?
lighting
nothing really to say here. it has a similar feel to the mayfly rap stage, which is fine because the lighting for that was good. i could tell what was going on all the time and that’s the most important part. notable standouts are the lips sequence, that's fun use of pop iconography and very effective, and the scanning lasers at the beginning.
the repeating sequence in the edm dance break is actually done pretty simply, it's just what happens when you point a camera that’s livestreaming to a monitor directly at that monitor. it's a very cool effect and it was neat to see it used intentionally, especially with the handheld leds.
actually i also really liked the lightbox tables, those were cool.
sound
the remix was fine for the most part, it was about what i expected it to sound like. i did however greatly dislike that unnecessary edm break in the middle. what was the point of that? it didn’t add anything to the overall sound or arc of the stage because it was SO out of place. there was no connective tissue around it.
oh i was also not a fan of the effect on zuho’s mic. no one else had a discernible vocal effect so it felt a little out of place. also for some reason his cadence and tone right at the end made me think of some of the voices that bo burnam uses for his vocal masque sketches/songs, especially repeat stuff, weirdly? took me right the fuck out of it. i listened to it again after i slept and i’m still getting it, so maybe i’m just going insane so best ignore this part.
staging
loved the mannequin tree, not a clue why it was there.
do actually think this is a successful cover because it does what i was hoping it would, which is take move completely out of the taemin context and put it into an entirely new one. however, i’m really struggling to figure out what exactly that new context is? and what theyre trying to say with it?
obviously they went for a ‘show your own colours/individuality’ vibe, like i said in the set section, where exactly is this supposed to be? from the start i get factory/mechanized environment, which is fine and grand because mannequins and making repetitive motions and products and all that, makes sense. but then there’s stacked shelving type units happening and curtains and that combined with the mannequins give me pretty big department store vibes, which is also fine, because that’s still a comment on commercialization and the mass production of product. but then we get to the movator and the repetitive movements of the dancers say pretty clearly factory, but the lighting and projections are very pop art referential, plus combining that with the white set, just makes me think of an art gallery. so now is this a comment on the commercialization and commidification of contemporary art? are they making a statement about being ‘real’ artists among the others who have lost the critical understanding of why pop art was even a thing in the first place? and then the rain bit at the end literally looks like a department store ad, so are they then making another statement that they still are that packaged product? maybe the episode has more clarity in it but i’m genuinely a bit baffled by what the underlying statement is here.
i suspect it is not as deep as i'm making it, but i did say that i was likely to be hyper critical of this stage AND i am a grad student, so here we are.
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tbz
costume
ok of all the ‘fourth gen’ style costumes we’ve seen, i actually like these ones more than most. i'm not entirely clear on the theme but i'm assuming it's meant to be post apocalyptic, and i'll take that.
backup dancers in black!!! we’re beyond this!!!
this will be a running theme with this stage, but i’m disappointed these don’t have more depth.
set
compared to every other stage, the set here seems especially plain. there’s so little set dec that it's disappointing. i do like the movement of the pieces themselves combined with the blocking; that first slide underneath the arches was slick and i would have liked to have seen more of that.
yea ok the big snake was cool and also a fairly complex build, but the transitions around it were a bit awkward for my tastes. especially the turn around, why did they even show that at all? you have control over what the audience sees, you can totally not show scenic transitions. skz were super smart about hiding theirs in last week’s episode.
also if you have a bigass puppet like that, i wanna see some more movement from it! it doesn’t have to be complex, we literally just saw a kraken balloon arm wave around aimlessly, but at least there was movement! that snake had a long ass body, why didn’t they at least take a pseudo dragon dance movement with it, that would have been such fun to watch with the iridescent scales. there was a lot of opportunity here!
lighting
i don’t hate it but also.... not a lot to say about it on the whole.
there were two really smart ideas here, the first being the front projection section, which i was SO glad to see! i explained in a previous review, but the projections in kingdom are not actually projections per se, because they’re actually massive led screens. there are two common types of projections in performance, rear projection and front projection. rear projection is when the projector is behind the screen, and front projection is ‘normal’ projection. rear projection can produce a crisper image because you have full control of the light values, because the projector is in a separate room from the performance space. but the downsides are that the projector has to be in a separate room from the performance space. so if you’re short on real estate, it's not ideal. front projection is much more common, because the tech is a lot cheaper and easier to access, especially now, and it requires less real estate because you can ceiling mount about the audience (you can move a projector wherever, this is just the most common spot in commercial theatres). but! in order to get an actually crisp image, you have to be really careful with your light bounce. it’s exactly the same principle as how you kinda can't see a projected screen when you have all the lights turned on, but when you turn them off it's a lot clearer. front projection works best in pitch dark, so when you use it in a theatre you gotta be smart about it. i use front projection a lot in my personal art practice as a singular light source, and that’s what tbz did here in that traveling/snake intro sequence. it’s a really fun technique that they used as a good gimmick because it’s not something we’ve seen before, and you get some great shadow effects because the projector is throwing light directionally at the performers (they have it set up close to the floor, it’s probably on a wheeled cart of some kind). however i did not like the snake intro. a bit too cheesy and out of place, especially because the asset quality didn’t match the rest of landscapes that we have been seeing.
the second smart idea, which is partially also a set and blocking thing but whatever, was that final image of the eclipse within the circle architecture with all the members standing in front of it. it was a great shot and a great ending pose, but it felt like a concept photo. like someone had that image as the idea that they then built the stage around, instead of a narrative first and then imagery after.
sound
this remix had SO much promise! those first two minutes were SO GOOD. i love that dirty discordant strings bit, it's gross and right up my alley. but it really fell off in the back half and i'm sad about that.
staging
i'm sorry tbz but.....what did you actually do differently than exo here? with the exception of the continual game of thrones references? nothing here felt transcendentally different from the original monster. and especially coming RIGHT after sf9’s move, which did go beyond its original context. this feels more like an awards show stage cover than a stage at the level of the others we’ve seen just this episode.
again like with the skz stage, there’s no conflict here. no tension. yes they do a great job covering the dance but it just isn’t enough! this is obviously personal preference and i'm sure lots of people liked the fact that it was uncomplicated, but even just a hint of narrative tension could have pushed this into more engaging territory. and if they didn’t want to do that, i would have loved to see them make up for that with extra visual spectacle. this is the no limits round! ikon is putting a full jungle on stage and these are grey cubes!
i think this is a perfect example of what i talked about at the end of my tbz section in my episode four review; this is a good performance, there are good elements at play and good ideas at their genesis, but the core of the issue is that nothing about this is transformative. all of the ideas here are just exaggerations of the original song. fuck, the snake was even IN the mv! and they didn’t even include the best part which is the lip chains! ive said before and i'll say it again; being a good artist has two steps, the first is understanding the material and its context, and the second is elevating the material from that context and synthesizing something new. tbz are really good at the first step, but terrible at the second.
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ranking
btob - the cleanest and the most fun of the round. everything i wanted.
sf9 - fun and a good cover, despite being conceptually baffling.
ateez - very extra dramatic nonsense with an unexpected dose of sincerity. and it’s rock opera, of course i love it.
skz - fun, with some good thematic devices but generally lacking in arc. also australian accents, that’s an automatic ding.
tbz - honestly the first two minutes of the remix and the costume are holding this above 6th. it just wasn’t fully formed.
ikon - aesthetically this is a great set design and although i do love the opening and closing moments, everything else scrapes me the wrong way. super personal preference here, i’m not expecting anyone else to agree with me.
i feel like my rankings were probably pretty easy to guess if you’ve been around reading the reviews for long enough. i do have very specific tastes after all. i know sf9 ranked first in the episode but i have no idea what the other slots are. i’ll find out when i watch the episode in a couple of days, but i think yea a first for sf9 is fair. i do think its mostly because it’s a taemin song and you have to do something horrendous in order to fuck up a taemin song, but there is a lot of thought and work that went into that stage.
ok i'm done now, sorry this was later than usual, but i was busier and there were four stages that i had to review. also technical difficulties because tumblr is a garbage platform and nothing works properly. comments/questions/opinions always welcome, i know i didn't expand on a couple of points that i could have so hopefully y'all have some thoughts too!
* the type of hat that ~society~ has told you is a fedora is actually a trilby. what peniel is wearing is a real fedora, i felt the need to correct this unjust hat malignment.
** meaning ‘the appearance of being true or real.’ you do sometimes hear it used by normal people, but it’s more commonly used as a descriptor in film and theatre. it’s also one of the five rules of neoclassical theatre, which are: versimilitude, purity of form, five act structure, decorum, and purpose. the most prominent playwrights from that era are moliere and racine if youre interested in what those look like in an actual text.
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onecanonlife · 3 years
Text
careful son (you got dreamer's plans)
Wilbur gasps back to life with mud between his fingers and rain in his eyes.
Wilbur was dead. Now, he is not. He can't say that he's particularly happy about it.
Unfortunately, the server is still as tumultuous as ever, even with Dream locked away, so it seems that his involvement in things isn't a matter of if, but when.
(Alternatively: the prodigal son returns, and a broken family finally begins to heal. If, that is, the egg doesn't get them all killed first.)
Chapter Word Count: 7,451
Chapter Warnings: swearing, referenced character death, manipulation, (imaginary) spiders, mentioned blood, nausea, slight sui.cidal ideation
Chapter Summary: In which Wilbur deals with an unwanted visitor, and then goes and Yells At A God.
(masterlist w/ ao3 links)
(first chapter) (previous chapter) (next chapter)
Chapter Fifteen: (and the universe said)
He waits until they are all asleep, until Techno has slid back into unconsciousness and Tommy is curled around the pillows in the guest bedroom and Phil has finally given into exhaustion, his wings shadowy, misshapen lumps in the gloom. Wilbur slips right out from under their noses, and while fatigue pulls at his limbs, makes him clumsier, louder than he would be otherwise, the rest of them are far too tired to wake up. He would be too, if his mind would allow him to rest.
But not tonight.
His plan is not a smart one. He’s aware of that much, at least. But it is a plan, and it has marginally better chances of success, he thinks, than trawling through old books and hoping that one of them will happen to have the answers that they need. He was foolish to think it might work in the first place; even if it did, they don’t have time for it. He’s sure of that much. Every second they delay is another second in which Dream and the Egg can plan, can plot, can accumulate power, and while provoking a god might not be the best idea in the world, it’s sure to produce some sort of result.
That’s what they need. Results.
He sticks close to the walls and the furniture so that the floors don’t creak, and he takes a moment to ease open a few of Techno’s chests, rooting through them until he finds an old crossbow, dinged up but still serviceable. Between this and the bow that Tubbo gave him, the bow that’s been sitting in his inventory all but unused, he feels well-equipped, and he’s sure Techno won’t notice its disappearance.
He crosses to the front door, grips the handle, and:
“Going out for a stroll?”
He wheels around, pulls the crossbow from his inventory and into his hand, and fires in the same motion. The figure ducks, and the arrow goes whizzing over his head, burying itself in the back wall. Then, they straighten, and though the room is covered in shadows, the light from the moon outside gleams on the white of the mask.
“That wasn’t very nice of you,” Dream chides.
“How the fuck did you get in here?” he growls. “How the fuck did you know where we were?” He hopes Dream doesn’t pick up on the fact that he’s terrified. Not so much for himself, but Tommy is right upstairs,
(and he’ll die before he lets Dream touch Tommy again, except Technoblade already did that, and he’s sure Dream planned it that way, planned for Tommy to blame himself for the suffering that Dream caused)
sound asleep, and he needs to keep it that way. Can’t allow Dream anywhere near his brother, can’t give the bastard the chance to do any more harm.
Dream shrugs. “I have my ways,” he says. “I have eyes and ears everywhere. And I feel like you all like to forget that I’m an admin. This server is mine, and now that I’m out of the prison, I have infinite power at my fingertips. I guess I get why you guys fight. You’re all pretty stubborn like that. But there’s no question as to who holds all the cards, here.”
He grits his teeth.
“What do you want?” he whispers.
Dream laughs, short and chilling, and with that, his presence fills the room, spreading out from him like an oil slick, or a pool of thick blood, covering the floor, the walls, and creeping up and onto him. It feels like spiders crawling across his skin, thousands of them, on him and in him and trying to work their way inside, in his mouth and up his nose and under his fingernails, and he breathes sharply to convince himself that the sensation is imagined. He wants to scrape at himself, scratch until the feeling goes away, but instead, he plants his feet, levels his crossbow.
(aim true aim true you always were best when raising your bow in defense of others)
“No need for that,” Dream insists, raising both his hands in a mockery of a peace gesture. “I just want to talk to you, Wilbur.”
“Is that so?” He doesn’t waver in his aim.
“You’re an interesting person,” Dream says. “I thought I had you figured, but now, I’m not so sure.” He tilts his head up, and Wilbur catches a glimpse of his lips, curling upward into a slight smile. “I like you, Wilbur. I’d like to understand you.”
“The feeling isn’t mutual,” he says. “I have nothing to say to you. Get the fuck out, or I’ll—”
“You’ll what,” Dream interrupts, “shoot me? I think you and I both know that won’t do anything. And then what will you do? Do you think you can stop me before I decide to go and say hi to whoever’s upstairs? Will they have time to wake up? I hear Technoblade’s in pretty rough shape, and I’m sure Tommy’s not doing too well. And then there’s Philza, and I mean” —He makes a tsking sound with his teeth— “those wings of his looked pretty rough anyway, so maybe he wouldn’t even mind if I—”
(how does he know how does he know how does he know)
“Touch any of them, and there’s nothing in this world or any other that would stop me from killing you,” he says.
“You’re posturing,” Dream says easily. “That’s fine, I get it. I won’t do anything unless you force my hand. This doesn’t have to get ugly, not if you don’t push it.”
The threat is clear. He lowers the crossbow, but doesn’t dismiss it. Dream will have to be satisfied with that.
“Tit for tat,” he says, and scowls at the hoarseness of his voice. He doesn’t want Dream to know he’s gotten to him, but that’s now a lost cause. “I have questions for you.”
“Sure,” Dream says. “Here, I’ll even let you go first. Ask away.”
Fine. Fine, he can do this.
“What are you?” he says.
“A god, of course,” Dream says. “Come on, now, Wilbur, is that all you’ve got for me? I thought you were smarter than that. But it’s my turn now.” He takes a step forward, and it is all he can do to resist mirroring him, to avoid a retreat, no matter how small. “The Egg’s told me some things about you. How you let it in and then shook it off again. Congratulations on that, by the way. That’s not something that many people can do. But I know what it offered you. I know everything that it offered you. And the Wilbur Soot I know would have accepted several of those offers in a heartbeat. So, what’s holding you back?”
“Not wanting to be mind controlled by a fucking breakfast food is what’s holding me back,” he forces out. His hand clenches so hard around the crossbow’s handle that he hears wood creak.
“See, I don’t really believe that,” Dream says. “I remember you, Wilbur. I remember what you were like. Do you remember when I gave you all that TNT? Remember how happy you were to finally have such a force for destruction in your hands? Do you remember how excited you were to take yourself out with it? Do you remember that, Wilbur? I do. The Egg could give you either of those things, but you refused it. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t want any of that anymore?”
The feeling of spiders intensifies. It feels like they’re in his throat. He swallows, thickly. No spiders.
“Or is this about Tommy?” Dream continues. “I wouldn’t be surprised. It always seems to come back to Tommy.”
“It always seems to come back to Tommy because you make it come back to Tommy,” he snaps. “None of this would’ve happened if you’d just left him alone in the first place, you dick, instead of deciding that your archenemy was a literal child.”
Dream hums. “I’m disappointed that you don’t see it,” he says. “I thought you of all people would know a thing or two about narrative foils. But we can come back to that. My next question—”
“No,” he says, and swallows again. His throat is so fucking dry. “No, it’s my turn. Tit for tat.”
Dream inclines his head. “Right, right. Go on.”
“When I asked what you were, that’s not what I meant, and you know it,” he says. “I don’t think you’re a god. Maybe you think you are, I don’t really know, but I don’t fucking care. Put your fucking god complex aside. I want to know what you are, specifically in relation to dreamons. And to the Egg. Actually, I’m rolling that in. You and the Egg, what connects you?”
Dream is silent for a moment. When he speaks, his voice is low, velvet.
“So, Tubbo told you about all of that, huh?” he says. He cocks his head, but otherwise, he is unnaturally still. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He told you about the possession, then?”
“He did,” he says. “He said that he exorcised you. Did that actually work, or am I talking to something using Dream’s mouth?”
Another laugh. This one softer. Almost genuinely amused. “That’s another question. But sure, I’ll allow it. I might as well explain it to you,” Dream says. “No, the exorcism worked. It’s just me in here. But like I said, stuff like that is a tricky business, y’know?” And then, to Wilbur’s annoyance, the man starts prowling, walking circles around him. His footfalls are so light as to be inaudible, and Wilbur twists himself in time with his steps, keeping him in view. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how it feels, to have something in your head, Wilbur. To have something else at the controls. To have to watch from a dark corner of your mind, screaming in horror as your body takes actions that aren’t yours. To be helpless.”
“You’re right, you don’t have to tell me,” he says, even if only to
(block out the red rising red rising he doesn’t want to think about it doesn’t want to fall like he knows he could knows he could play Icarus again)
disguise the way the words make him feel ill.
“Sure, sure,” Dream says. “So, that was that, and Tubbo and Fundy saved me from it. Have you talked to Fundy, by the way?”
“Not relevant,” he says.
Dream snorts, still circling, like he thinks he’s a shark or some shit, like he thinks that Wilbur will be intimidated by this blatant tactic. “Right,” he agrees, sarcasm dripping like dry wine. “So there I was, back in control. I’m never going to take that for granted again. But then, it turned out, things aren’t so simple as that. You can’t just say some magic words and hope that everything goes back to normal. That’s not how the world works.”
(that is a dig, definitely a dig, but he refuses to let it get to him, because he knows all too well the power of iron and steel, knows the language of violence is a universal one, but he gave up on his words, once, and look where that led him, and he has vowed to be better and that means trying to renew the faith that he tossed away, the faith in words and the power of his pen, and disillusioned as he may now be, he has to let himself think that his younger self was not entirely wrong to believe)
“The dreamon was gone,” Dream continues, “but it left bits of itself behind. Parts that got torn off in the violence of the exorcism. And those parts stayed with me. That darkness—it showed me things. Showed me the truth of what I was doing, and what I needed to be doing. The truth about power, attachment. I tried to resist it at first, but once I gave in, I’d never felt stronger. It’s part of me, now.” He grins. “Friends, family—in the end, that’s all worthless. Power has to come first, or the rest is useless. It’s a shame my original plan didn’t pan out, but this will work just as well. The people of this server will either unite under me and the Egg, or they’ll die. It’s that simple.”
���And the Egg?”
“A dreamon of the same kind,” Dream says. “It forced its way into the server centuries ago, maturing over years and years. It’s not really an Egg, of course. That’s just what your mind interprets it as, so you can comprehend it. But once it gathers enough strength, it’ll—hatch, so to speak. Your choices will be to join forces with it, or die and become the blood that feeds it. I’d prefer to have you with us. Killing you would be a waste, I really believe that.”
“Is that what you’re here for?” he asks. “Is this some kind of sales pitch?”
Dream stops walking. He’s between him and the door.
“Here’s my next question, Wilbur,” he says. “How did it feel, when you let the Egg have you?”
He stiffens. “What the fuck—”
“It’s an honest question,” Dream says. “I want to know.”
Spiders. Spiders in his mouth. Spiders and oil. His stomach rolls.
“It felt like shit,” he grits out.
“Did it?” Dream asks. “Did it, really? Think about it, Wilbur. I don’t want you lying to me.”
“I’m not lying,” he says, but almost unwillingly, his mind casts back to that moment, casts back to he and Tommy and Tubbo in that chamber, so sure that nothing could possibly go wrong, so sure that this was little more than a tourist stop for them.
And then, the Egg saw him, looked into his mind and saw something it could exploit. And it did.
(it reached in and twisted him, and it did not have to twist hard, not hard at all before he folded, not once but twice, first to the fire and the blood and second to his own destruction, his own peace, and everything in him revolts against the sickly creeping red, like being drowned in syrup, and his stomach rolls again just thinking about it, and yet)
(and yet something in him still calls to it, he knows, calls for the fire and the blood and if not that than to the peace because even still, even still, he looks around him and cannot help but feel like his presence here does more harm than good, cannot help but believe that even though he is trying to shatter the archetype he consigned himself to, even though he made a promise, even though he wants to be better, it is all of no use because he penned the villain’s role for himself once and now it is set in stone, and if he does not want to fall back into the threads of that storyline then his only choice is to remove himself from it utterly)
(his symphony is unfinished and it is supposed to remain so, and there is no poetry in a clumsy reentry)
“Aren’t you?” Dream says.
(but remember this also, that there are threads tying you to this world and whether you like it or not you made a promise and you will keep it this time you will keep it so if you cannot live for your own sake then live for Tommy’s do it for him do it so that the light in his eyes will no longer dim because of you you must try must keep trying for him if for no one else for everyone who loves you despite it all and most of all for him)
“No,” he says. He holds his ground, holds steady.
“Huh,” Dream says. “Well, alright, then. If you say so. But, Wilbur, and I’m just saying, but you should keep in mind what else it told you. What else it can give you.” Dream clasps his hands in front of him. “You should keep in mind that I like Tommy a lot. I’d rather keep Tommy around. But the Egg’s not so fond of him, and I can’t guarantee his life. The Egg’s offered you his safety in exchange for your loyalty, and that’s a two in one deal, right there. If protecting Tommy is one of the reasons you’re making yourself stick around, I think you should consider taking it up on the offer. You’d get several things you want, then. You can be at peace, and you’ll know that Tommy will be just fine.”
The words burn like acid in his throat.
“And what would that safety look like?” he asks. “Would you lock him in a cage? Or would you exile him again, Dream? I know what you did to him then. Ghostbur may have been naive, but I’m not.”
“It was a lesson,” Dream says idly, and in this moment, he wants nothing more to launch himself forward and wrap his fingers around his throat once again. “One that he still hasn’t learned, I guess. But you shouldn’t be so picky.” He pauses, and Wilbur can feel that oil-slick gaze on him, scorching him. “Between that and seeing him dead, which would you prefer? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you’re not smart about this. Tommy, dead. The Egg wants his blood, and what the Egg wants, the Egg will have. I can’t hold it off forever. It’s not patient. Not like I am. Tommy will die if you keep this up, and the Egg will feed on him. Maybe more than once. I still have the revive book, after all, and the Egg might be able to persuade me to use it.”
He barely tamps down on his nausea.
He refuses to picture it.
(Tommy dead, blood in his hair, Tommy dead, eyes wide and unseeing, Tommy dead, and then Tommy alive, and dead again and alive and dragged back over and over again at the whim of a monster and no one there to save him no one there to protect him and no no no no no no no no no)
“You’re a sick bastard,” he croaks. “Get the fuck out.”
Dream shrugs again, and he hates it, hates that nothing he says seems to have any impact on him. “Think about it,” he says. “That’s all I ask. I’ll be seeing you soon, I’m sure. Give Tommy my love.”
That is the last straw. He brings his crossbow up again, but he’s a moment too slow, and the bolt zips through the space where Dream was a moment earlier, slamming against the door. Dream himself is gone. Teleported away, presumably, and he doesn’t know if that’s an admin thing or a demon thing or both, but it’s as infuriating as it is dangerous. He probably can’t even be sure that he’s really gone. Can Dream go invisible?
He doesn’t know.
It can’t matter. He can’t let this throw him. He has something to do tonight. So he lets himself have a minute, and he listens intently to the sound of the house, just in case the others were woken either by the conversation or by the sound of the bolts thunking into wood. But there is no sound, so he breathes in deeply, places the crossbow in his inventory, and gently pushes the door open. And then shuts it behind him.
He takes a single lantern with him; it does little to light the darkest hours of the night, but he doesn’t want to risk more illumination. He creeps through the snow like a ghost, and for a moment, he fancies that he is one,
(again, and Ghostbur always loved the snow, despite how it hurt him)
that he passes the world by and leaves no trace. At the very least, he is adept enough at sneaking that he doesn’t attract the attention of mobs, and by the time he finds the beginning of the passages that Phil took them through yesterday, he is colder but otherwise none the worse for wear.
The journey as a whole is without incident. It is simple to recall the way that Phil led them, where the buttons go and what needs to be opened up, and it is not long until the air turns musty, damp, old, and the rough stone of the passageways becomes more polished, more detailed.
He goes straight for the portal room.
The portal-table still hums, just as it did yesterday. It seems louder now. Perhaps because he is alone, and for the first time since he returned to life, no one knows where he is. He is acting entirely of his own accord, and taking the impetus in this way is both satisfying and terrifying.
But he’s here.
“Alright,” he says to the empty room, “I know you can hear me. I want to talk to you.”
He stops. Waits. Gets absolutely nothing. The hum remains constant, and the torches flicker in all the same patterns.
“Let me rephrase that,” he says. “I’m going to talk to you, whether you like it or not. So you may as well come out and make it easier on both of us.”
He pauses again. Still nothing. So he sighs.
“Alright, fine,” he says, and strides forward, right up to the portal. He slaps his hands on the stones; they’re warm, far warmer than they should be, and they vibrate slightly under his fingers. “Fine, you want to do this another way? That’s alright by me.” He runs his fingers along the frame. “It’s a nice End Portal you’ve got here. If you won’t come and talk, I might just decide to direct my attention elsewhere instead. Might go and get some Eyes of Ender, perhaps? I know how it’s done. It’s been quite some time since I went to an End dimension. I think I’d have fun with it.”
No response comes, but the pressure in the room seems to shift, just a little, becoming a bit heavier. He bares his teeth in a grin, slapping his hands against the frame again.
“Come on, then,” he says. “You’ve got an unpredictable bastard hitting your portal. What are you going to to about it? Going to smite me? You should do it soon, if you’re going to. Come on, then, come on!” His voice rises in volume, his words spinning away from him. “Come get me! Do I look like a man who has any sense of self-preservation? You don’t know what I’m about to do. So come and stop me! Stop me before I make you fail in your one task or whatever the fuck you said. Come on!”
As if those are the magic words, the air electrifies, so much that breathing suddenly becomes difficult. And there they are, the god themself, hovering inches away from Wilbur, towering over him, and they have no face, but he imagines that if they did, they would be glowering.
“You may not,” they say, each word slow and deliberate, “go to the End. You will not dare.”
“You know jack shit about what I will and will not dare,” he says. “I’m daring this, aren’t I?”
“You presume much.”
“I’m a presumptuous man,” he says. “Always have been.” He tilts his head, summons that grin again. “It got you here, didn’t it? Will you talk to me now?”
They stare, without eyes. Their hood tilts. He chooses to take that as a yes.
“Because here’s the thing,” he says. “Phil says that you’re a god. I’m willing enough to believe that. But I don’t understand why you’re here, or what your connection is to Dream, and I don’t appreciate not being able to understand things. But here’s what I don’t appreciate most of all.” He leans in, as close as he dares, leaning his elbows against the portal frame and staring up at the impenetrable darkness under their hood.
(another flash of the twin halos, circling, circling, and they burn on the back of your eyelids like trailing comets)
“You say that this is the task set for you,” he says. “Guarding the End. Well, that’s all fine and good. But are you trying to tell me that you feel no responsibility to the rest of this server? All that power, and you spend most of your time waiting around here, a place that two people know about? Or four, now, I suppose.” He squints. The darkness does not change. “You’re a god, perhaps. But no god I know of sits on their arse while the world around them implodes. So I suppose I’m here to ask that you change that.”
“You understand nothing of me,” they say. “This is my task.”
“Bollocks to your task,” he says. “Fine, I don’t understand? Then explain it to me. Explain to me what your reasoning is. People can say what they like about me. I know my own vices. But nobody has ever accused me of standing idly by.” He frowns, considering.
(considering Tubbo, begging, screaming, pleading)
“Not usually, at any rate,” he tacks on softly.
“It is not of you to know,” they say, and this is like talking to a brick wall, isn’t it? Perhaps he should realize that, and cut his losses. Anyone else might do the same. Phil would likely tell him to give it up.
(or rather, he would tell him to give it up, and then immediately take his place. Phil doesn’t tend to back down, not even from gods, and he knows he got his reckless streak from somewhere)
“I don’t like it when people tell me what I can and can’t know,” he states, “and furthermore, you’re dead wrong. I’m banking a lot on this, but do you really think I can’t feel the power coming off of you? If you try to tell me that there’s nothing you can do about the shitstorm this server’s found itself in, I’d tell you to pull the other one, it’s got fucking bells on. So you’ve got some sort of abilities, and I bet you could help us with them, which means that actually, it is very much ‘of me to know’ what the fuck you’re doing fucking around out here. And let me tell you something else about me” —His smile widens— “I don’t take no for an answer.”
“I could strike you down where you stand.”
It is stated simply. Not a threat, but a fact.
“Then why haven’t you?” he asks, and does not disguise the challenge.
The god stills. Their cloak stops moving in imagined wind. And then, they drift forward and down, hovering directly in front of him rather than over the portal-table. Like this, he no longer has to look up to stare at their hood, and he’s amused to note that all told, they’re slightly shorter than he is.
“Are you going to give me an answer?” he asks.
The god does not speak. But in his head, he feels that presence once again, and he shudders at the sensation, of something else in his head, and he struggles to remind himself that this is different from the Egg, that this being isn’t trying to make him their puppet. Probably. But it’s still unpleasant, and he’s sure he fails to keep a straight face at the intrusion.
And then
(the god reaches in and)
(hold fast, child of the universe)
(takes him outside of himself and)
he’s falling.
He is falling without falling. Somewhere in him, he knows that he is standing in the exact same spot, that he has hard stone beneath his feet, that gravity is treating him just the same as it always has. But he is falling, and there are stars around him, pinwheeling and circling, and he flails on instinct, but there is nothing to hold onto, nothing to slow his descent. But there is also nothing to land on, nothing to stop him. He is falling into forever, and the infinite steals his breath, his voice.
(it is not for you to know but if you must if you must then I will show you)
The god is there. He is sure that this being is the god, though it is now something built of swirling light and a thousand eyes, all watching him, trained on him, and the light sears itself into his retinas, but he cannot look away. He is powerless to choose where to look. He is no longer certain that he has eyes, that he has a body. He is falling, and he is one with everything that he is falling into, and the god has control. The god is peering not only at him, but into him, and they have control, and they are both holding him and allowing him to slip through their fingers all at once, pouring themself into his brain and opening a window to the universe.
For you, there can be made exceptions, they say without speaking, and their voice rings like a thousand clamoring bells. I have made such before. One more will be accepted.
Show me, then! he calls out, and he, too, is speaking without speaking. He does not have a mouth to move, cannot hear his own words, but he knows that the other understands him. You’ve brought me here, so show me!
(he is bodiless mouthless breathless and he doesn’t understand what is happening and it is too soon, too sudden, and he did not have time to brace himself, and he is terrified, terrified that this god will not bring him back home, but he is here surrounded by the universe now and knowledge is what he needs so he will reach out for it with all he is)
The cosmos bend.
(here is the beginning of the world of us of everything we were here before all else)
Everything shifts. He feels a body again, but it is not his. He is sure it is not his. The god presses up against his mind, and he sees, feels, is
(a god, the god, but different, but whole, all the parts brought together, and the god as they are now is a fragment, a collection of power with none of the love, with none of the joy, with none of the hope, but he sees the god whole, and he recognizes him for who he is, and it makes no sense yet but he will stick to the course)
Dream. And there is a server that is familiar but not, a server that he has learned the smell of, the look of, the feel of, the way the dirt shifts beneath his feet, but the server is new, the server is just beginning, and there is no one here yet, only Dream. But not the Dream of now. This Dream is closer to the Dream he remembers from the earliest days, the Dream who grinned and laughed with no darkness in his tone, who play-fought with the kids and gave everything he had to making the server a home.
(the war was a game, once)
He watches without eyes as the server rises, becomes what he knows, and he watches the people populate it, people he knows, both friends and enemies, and through it all, Dream remains steady, remains someone who is arrogant, perhaps, and selfish, maybe, flawed to be certain, but good, and it is the Dream that Wilbur once called a friend. And this Dream is a god.
(here is then, and then passes to now)
And then, Dream again, but time has passed
(flashes of Tubbo, flashes of his son, a book held between them and foreign words of power dripping from their tongues)
and something is wrong, corruption lurking in the heart of him, and he is aware of it, aware of what it whispers to him, of how it tempts him, and he is terrified. Wilbur can feel his terror as keenly as if it were is own, because here is something that Dream knows: he will give in. Slowly, inexorably, but he is not strong enough to fight even the remnants of the poison that the dreamon left in its wake. He slides into darkness, listens to the whispers that know exactly what strings to pull, exactly what to offer him, and through all of it, he is alone, pushes everyone else away, both because the rot demands it and because he still fights it, still fights though he is flagging, and he does not want to subject his friends to the thing that part of him, at least, is still aware that he is becoming.
And then, he gives in, but in the last moment of clarity before the waves break over his head—
We were one, and now we are two, the god announces, and their voice is not sorrowful, because Wilbur now understands that they are not capable of sorrow. The power separated, such that the demon could not access it. I am the power. He divided himself from me, and he is the rest, the emotions, the once-divine humanity now splintered and broken into a dark creature, consuming the good that he once was. I was set the task to contain him. There must be no travel to the End, nor to anywhere else.
(and he sees it now, like this, existing outside of himself, cradled in the god’s hands and in the many hands of the universe, sees the corruption like chains, like choke, spread throughout what Dream was and is, gnarled threads of a sickness, of a venom, souring him from within and now lashing out, but he cannot see, he cannot see if underneath it all, there is anything of the original left, any of the light, anything worth trying to save)
(for the old Dream’s sake, he almost hopes that there is not, that the old Dream, the Dream that once was and was good, has found peace, is not suffocating under the weight of what he is now)
(but then, there is this also to consider: Dream makes his own choices regardless of the influence, and he cannot be held to be blameless, and demonic interference or not, none of this is so cut and dry, and just because he dislikes such complications does not mean they do not exist)
But still, his questions have not entirely been answered, his demands not yet met.
I see that, he says, but I don’t see why that means you can’t help us.
I already have, they reply. More than I should have. But the universe did not object.
And he is somewhere else. Back in the portal room, though the walls are now bare, the décor matching the rest of the stronghold, and though he knows that somewhere, somewhen, this is where he stands, there is no sign of him, but the god is there, hooded and cloaked, and there is another man, an open book held out before him like an offering, his hands shaking, his expression pleading.
(he knows this man. his hoodie is as garish as ever)
“I’m out of options,” the man says. “I’ve got so much to do, and a power that I can’t control, and I can barely remember my own name half the time. But this is right, I think. This is what needs to happen. If this server is going to survive, we need him, and we need him now. It’s the only chance there is.”
“I guard the End,” the god says, and it is not the god-of-now, the god that still presses against and into Wilbur’s mind. This is not now at all. This is some otherwhen. “I do not do this.”
“But you have the power to,” the man argues. “I’ve traced you throughout history. I’ve taken notes! I have them all here. They’ll call you DreamXD, one day.” He takes a step forward, shoving the book toward the god more insistently. “This is how we do it. I’ve seen so many awful futures. I keep their stories with me. But this is how we do it. This is how we save people. Please, I don’t know how much longer I have left here. But you can’t stand aside now, or else the Egg—the Egg wins. I’ve seen this, man.”
“The universe has not willed that it is of me to choose who lives and who dies,” the god states.
“Has the universe willed that it is not of you?” the man asks.
(and the god asks the universe and the universe says)
And then they are gone, wheeling away, and the cosmos are back, surrounding him once again, stars and galaxies and void between them all, and suddenly, Wilbur understands.
You were talking about me, he says.
Yes.
You’re the one who brought me back, he says.
Yes.
Like an explosion has gone off within him,
(anger rage and what gives this god the right to make that choice what gives them the right to use them as a pawn he refuses to be a pawn because if he cannot take his fate into his own hands then what does he have)
he bucks, struggles against the god’s hold, a hold that is not at all physical, that he cannot hope to shake. But then, he is not physical either, is made up entirely of his thoughts and his feelings and his soul, if he were one to believe in souls, and he jerks away from the god, reeling in every way possible, anger and confusion and a thousand other emotions running through him. And for a moment, the god’s presence fades entirely, and he is alone, and he is drifting, and he is with the universe, vast and empty and full, and beyond the universe, the void awaits him, and now that he is here, he can remember
(he is alone and at peace even while the nothingness consumes him, but then there is someone reaching for him, someone pulling him, and he does not want it, does not want to go, but their hold is inescapable, and he screams with everything he has as he is pulled from the grip of the universe and slammed with sensation, with light, sound, color)
(he gasps back to life with mud between his fingers and rain in his eyes)
He wants to scream now. Perhaps his body is screaming, wherever it is.
He looks to the universe and demands answers, and he feels the universe looking back, too much for him to understand, too much for him to contain, vast and infinite and forever, and the universe says, without words, without sound, without anything at all,
(everything you need is within you)
(you are stronger than you know)
(the darkness you fight is within you)
(the light you seek is within you)
(you are not alone)
and he feels the god again, reaching for him again, reaching for him as they did before, ready to tear him from this space and back to the world, back to a world he did not want to rejoin, and a thousand stars are watching him, and there is a woman watching him with death’s face and eyes, and in time, they all say,
(there is beauty yet to be found, Wilbur, in the world, and the universe loves you but we are not alone in that and we sing with a thousand voices that you cannot hear but you are one with us now and always a child of the cradle of the beginning and the end and we are with you)
and he screams without a throat, and when the god gathers him up, he does not fight, does not fight as the universe swirls around him,
(and there are flashes, too quick to understand, flashes of a god in the desert, counting the hours of peace like grains of sand, flashes of an ageless distortion in the code, an all-too familiar being who no longer remembers what they are, flashes of the man who falls through time, flashes of a woman with bleached-white flowers in her hair, flashes of the ghost who was ripped back along with him, ripped back by clumsy, inexperienced hands, ripped back and now tied to him, and Schlatt is drifting aimless in the crater but Schlatt sees him, stares with wide eyes, mouths his name in shock before he loses sight of him)
does not fight as he falls once again, falls and then staggers, the portal room unchanged to his bleary eyes. Gravity asserts itself, reality solidifies, and the god hovers in front of him, hooded and cloaked, darkness in place of a face. He is alone in his mind, and it feels empty.
“If there is beauty yet to be found,” he says, his voice a harsh rasp, “then help us fight for it.”
The god regards him. He does not buckle beneath the weight of their stare. His skin buzzes, and stars swirl on the back of his eyelids.
And then, the god vanishes. But perhaps most notably, the god does not say no.
The universe hums. Or perhaps it’s the End Portal.
He thinks it’s both.
He staggers, sinks down to the stone, exhausting tugging him down, and he leans his head back, releasing all the air in his lungs at once. His body feels too small for him, too tight, as if it can no longer encompass all that he is, all that he has seen. He’s not entirely sure what all of that was, but he is fairly sure that it is not a thing meant for mortals to know.
Ah, well.
He’s shaking. He observes his hands idly. Blinks, and there are stars imprinted on his eyelids.
He drifts. He’s not sure how much time passes before there are footsteps rushing down the corridor. Three pairs. He probably should have expected this. Phil is the first to burst into the room, face painted with concern and wings uncloaked, but the other two are quick on his heels, Tommy visibly scared and Techno panting with exertion.
“Wil—” Phil says, and Wilbur blinks, and Phil is kneeling right next to him, a hand on his face, and Techno is crouched close by and Tommy is practically looming. “I felt—it was like the code itself shook, and there were crossbow bolts in the wall—”
“Why’s your hair gone all weird?” Tommy asks, overriding Phil, and Wilbur blinks at him, slowly. His—?
He reaches up to grab a bit of it, pulling it down in front of his eyes. The brown is streaked with white.
“Oh,” he says, and wonders how to phrase any of this. “Phil, I’m pretty sure I saw your wife for a second there.”
“What—”
So he explains. Not everything. But he explains his thought process and weathers Phil’s scolding, and he explains what he’s learned about Dream and the Egg both, explains the root of Dream’s corruption, explains that he was a god that split himself from his power at the last, explains everything that he can think to put into words.
He does not mention Karl. And he does not mention what the universe said. Some things are meant to be safeguarded by one, and one alone, and even if he tried to speak on it, he doesn’t think he could find the right words. And his tongue is growing thicker, his words tumbling over each other.
But he rallies.
“But whether I got what I wanted or not,” he says, putting all the rest of his energy into making sure each word lands, “we need to go back to the SMP tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, I mean. No more of digging through old books with a snowball’s chance in the Nether of actually finding what we need. We need to go back, and we need to work with everyone else. Hopefully with some kind of divine aid, but if not, we figure something out.” He meets Phil’s eyes. “Gods can be overthrown, and Dream is no god. Not anymore.”
“And even gods can die,” Phil murmurs.
“Even gods can die,” he agrees, and then pauses. Blinks. The stars are still there. “I think I’m going to go to sleep now.”
“Alright, Wil,” his father says, and the last thing he’s aware of before his exhaustion finally, finally pulls him under, is being lifted in someone’s arms, someone’s hand carding through his hair, and quiet conversation. Their voices chase him into rest.
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alovesongshewrote · 4 years
Text
Almost A Thousand Years | Hisirdoux Casperan Headcannons
a little odd, but still fun to do.  Also, I threw in some fun facts because headcannons are hard
Taglist:  @furblrwurblr​ @rainningdoom​ @fluffydmonkey @blondie0458​ @sitherin-mxschief​ @jinxedleo​ @douxiesdamsel​
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HEADCANNONS
(Y/N) had a slight Irish accent back in Camelot  (she hung out in Ireland pre-Gunmar.  It faded over time.)
It’s never specified, but the colour of her magic is red, because blue and red is the colour scheme of all good ships  (jk, jk)
(Y/N) still has the good doctor’s plague mask
(Y/N) and Douxie share clothes.  She’s cold?  She wears his hoodie.  It’s too bright out?  He borrows her sunglasses (they’re heart shaped)
When they get time, Douxie, Zoe and Archie take it upon themselves to introduce (Y/N) to 90’s/2000’s culture.  This ends with excessive amounts of G-noting between the three humans, much to the annoyance of Archie
Despite using an enchanted sword most of the time, (Y/N) is a decent shot (you had to be in the war :/ )
Speaking of swords, (Y/N) has two that she uses over the course of the fic, and one of them is only a technicality.  There’s the sword that got stuck in Bular, and the one she uses for most of Trollhunters.  She switches back after Jim kills Bular, allowing her to get her sword back
AND SPEAKING OF TECHNICALITIES, (Y/N) doesn’t consider herself one of Merlin’s apprentices since she was supposed to be spying on him during that time
There are probably a few meetings between Douxie and (Y/N) that were skipped in this fic.  Can you blame me?  I have to cover almost a thousand years of these two flirting
Speaking off, there may be a few extra chapters released after AATY ends, and that doesn’t include the Trollhunters stuff
While Douxie is better at fighting monsters, (Y/N) is better with demons
Both (Y/N) and Douxie mix lingo from different time periods a lot more than you see in this fic
Jeff Goldbum and the other immortals are still betting on (Y/N) and Douxie.  Spoiler alert, Jeff wins the bet.
(Y/N) would fight literally every anti-vaxxer if Douxie didn’t stop her.  He only does this because fighting so many people would probably get (Y/N) sent to prison
These two share the same brain cells and half the time Archie has custody of the cells anyways 
When things calm down, (Y/N) teaches Douxie a bunch of healing spells because our favourite emo gets himself hurt a lot more than (Y/N) and it’s starting to worry her
Both (Y/N) and Zoe keep a stock of canned fish for Archie, (Y/N) has kept hers since the Jack the Ripper case, Zoe has kept hers since the early 90s
After they start living together, they become couple goals and it’s very soft (but you knew that already)
Post moving in together, Douxie will make (Y/N) her favourite tea whenever she’s sad.  
Both of these nerds are eternally sleep deprived
After the 20s-40s (Y/N) doesn’t drink much
The amount of books in either of their living spaces is a gosh darn fire hazard
(Y/N) and Archie are and always have been bros, even if (Y/N) and Douxie aren’t getting along.  Same with Zoe
Zoe was half serious about asking (Y/N) out in the 80s.  She would do it just to get under Douxie’s skin, but also, you’re a cute doctor???  Who kicks ass???  Who wouldn’t date you, honestly
Magically, Douxie is stronger, but (Y/N) is obviously the better healer 
Despite (Y/N)’s sass usually sent in his direction, Merlin approves of her and Douxie being together
The bond between (Y/N) and Douxie is usually more of an annoyance than anything
“HOW DO YOU KEEP RUNNING INTO DOORWAYS???”
“I DON’T KNOW!!!”
It is nice to know that you have someone out in the world though, and for that, they are thankful
Idk about you, but in my own personal opinion, (Y/N) is either Ravenclaw or Slytherin.  Overtime, that changes a little, she leans more towards Ravenclaw, but as a kid she was hella ambitious.  Street urchin life does that :/
Douxie is probably a Hufflepuff
Mandatory Fuck JKR
(Y/N) is an ominous texter.  It’s hilarious
Both of them prefer rainy weather (that means kisses in the rain!!!!!)
These nerds simp for each other and I love it
FUN FACTS!!!!!
Parts of AATY are vaguely based on songs from waitress (‘you matter to me’ and ‘bad idea’)
I wanted to include more side characters through time, but it never really happened.  I am very happy with the good doctor and his impact as a character though
The good doctor’s whole side plot about his wife was based on something my grandpa said to me a while back.  It was originally just something I put in to make his death more emotional, but it became a major part of the story, at least to me
I think at one point he mentions that his wife made him want to be a better person and (Y/N) goes, “I wish I had that, rip,” the idea was that she found that with Douxie.  Idk how well that came across, but I tried
I tried to keep (Y/N) as gender neutral as possible.  I kind of worked, but i kind of gave up on it at the end lol
When writing (Y/N), I basically made her do everything I would do if I were immortal
(Y/N) and Douxie’s relationship is not based on a real one in the slightest.  It’s more of my idea of what a supportive relationship is
A few more songs that inspired specific chapters are: ‘The Vampire Masquerade’ by Peter Gundry, ‘Masquerade’ by Lindsey Sterling, ‘What is a Youth’ by Nino Rota or Joanna, and ‘Mamma Mia’ by Abba
I might just make a playlist for this actually
I wrote/write most of AATY at like, 3 a.m. so if something doesn’t make sense that’s probably why
I tried to fit as many tropes into this bad boy as i could (only one bed, fake dating) and on a more surface level, it’s an enemies to lovers slowburn that could be classified as a soulmate fic (even though the universe doesn't bond these two, Merlin does)
I started writing AATY there wasn’t enough Douxie x Reader fic and i wanted more
My worst fear is one of the creators seeing this lol
The first part of the first chapter is one of, if not my favourite part of AATY
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440mxs-wife · 3 years
Text
A Slice of Heaven
Pairing: Dean x Reader, Anthony (OMC) x Reader (former). Other Characters: Charlie, Sam Winchester (mentioned), Kara (OFC)
Word Count: 5880-ish
Warnings: Mentions of Divorce, Jerk Ex, light smut-ish towards the end, mostly fluff though.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You awoke to a faint buzzing sound that only grew louder the more you opened your eyes. "Ugh, make it stop," you groaned aloud. You finally realized that it was your alarm clock going off, and that you had pushed the snooze one too many times. If you didn't get up and shower and now, you weren't going to have enough time.
Fortunately, the coffee pot was on a timer, so by the time you came downstairs, it was already finished brewing. You fixed your coffee in your travel cup, grabbed a blueberry muffin off the counter and put it in a resealable bag. You checked to make sure you had everything you needed, put your purse in your messenger bag then zipped it closed. Just before you went out the front door, you lifted your keys out of the bowl sitting on the shelf.
You pulled the door shut behind you, making sure it was locked. As you turned to your left, you noticed that your neighbor was sitting on his front porch, enjoying a cup of coffee. He was reading a magazine, but as soon as he heard your door being closed he looked up. His emerald eyes shifted in your direction and a smile lit his face.
"Good morning!" he called out, raising his coffee cup in salute. The Golden Retriever pup at his feet raised his head, looked side to side, then laid back down on his front paws.
"Oh, hey! Good morning to you, Dean," you replied, returning his salute with your own coffee cup. You then slipped the strap over your head for your messenger bag so that it was stretched diagonally across your body.
As you descended the steps from your porch, you noticed that Dean was doing the same from his. He met you on the sidewalk in front of your houses and took a sip of his coffee.
"So, off to work, I see. By chance, do you have any big plans for the weekend?" Dean asked.
"Sadly, no. I've been invited to go out for drinks with some of the girls from work, but it all depends on how the day goes. Might be too tired for anything other than pizza and a movie," you remarked.
"Well, if you find yourself with nothing to do and you'd like some company, I'm right next door," he offered.
Your eyes brightened at the possibility of spending time with Dean. "I may just take you up on that, Dean," you replied. You looked down at your watch and noted the time. "Oh my goodness, I need to get going so I'm not late for work," you groaned.
"Wait, I still need to get your phone number! You know, so I can text you or....something," he stumbled.
You giggled. "I don't have time right now, but if you want, you can come by where I work. It's that bakery called 'A Slice of Heaven', down on 7th Avenue," you explained.
"I know where that is, maybe I'll have to stop in and see what you have," Dean remarked.
By this time, you had reached the driver's side of your 1968 Chevy Nova. You gave Dean a wave and a smile before getting into the car and driving off to work.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Since he saw you move in, Dean has made sure he was waiting on his front porch no later than 7:15 a.m. every day. That's because he knew that you usually left for work no later than 7:25 a.m. Seeing you every morning has become the highlight of his day. Even if it's raining out, he peeks out at you from behind his living room curtains. He feels that his day won't go just right unless he gets at least a glimpse of you.
To him, you're an amazing, beautiful woman who drives a badass car, and someone he'd very much like to get to know better. He'd heard some of the neighborhood gossip, but tried not to pay much attention or put any stock in it.
Rumor Control said that you moved here after your divorce from a rich husband. You were living in a modest home in a small, quiet neighborhood and went to work every day to support yourself. That led Dean to believe that you probably got the short end in the divorce settlement.
A Slice of Heaven. That's what you said your bakery was called, and Dean was starting to develop a serious craving for pie. May have to go check things out over there, he thought with a smirk.
If nothing else, it gave him a chance to get your number and put it into his phone for safekeeping. He had no problem finding any excuse to try and get close to you, get to know you better. Anything for you to give him one of your heart-stopping smiles, like the one you gave him before you drove off this morning. Dean went back inside to shower, then to get ready for the day and his important journey to a certain bakery.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I know, I know, I'm sorry I'm just getting here at the last minute. It is only by the grace of the Traffic Light Gods that I managed to get here in the nick of time. I couldn't help it, I stayed up too late  reading. The story was getting to the good part, and you know how much I love to read," you remarked.
"Oh, it's all right, honey. You're here now, so let's get to work. Throw your apron on and help Kara with getting those pies made and in the oven, would you please?" your boss and best friend, Charlie asked.
"You got it, Chief," you grinned as you tied your apron behind you.
A few hours and so many pie crusts and fillings later, Charlie came back to see you in the kitchen. She said there was a handsome customer out front that wanted to place an order, but specifically asked for you. With a puzzled look on your face, you washed your hands and walked towards the front of the shop.
The man leaning down and checking out the display case suddenly stood up. All at once you were staring into the piercing green eyes of your next-door neighbor.
"Dean, how wonderful to see you again! Is there something I can help you with?" you asked.
"Yes, I believe you can. I think I need one slice of everything in this display case. Everything looks so delicious, I can't possibly be expected to choose. Yep, that's what I want. One slice of everything please," he requested.
You giggled at his request, because no one had ever placed a walk-in order like that before. "We can certainly do that, but it will take time to put it together. If you could come back in an hour or so, we could have it ready for you by then," you suggested.
"Perfect, that way we can have some lunch, and by the time I bring you back, it'll be ready. Right?" he asked.
"I would love to go to lunch with you today, but--" you started, but Charlie interjected.
"She just went on lunch break. Here, give me your apron, and I'll put his order together while you're gone. Goooooo," she insisted. She untied your apron and gave you a gentle push towards Dean's outstretched hand.
"Wait, I need my purse or at least my wallet if we're going to lunch," you recalled, turning back towards the kitchen.
"Nuh-uh, nope, no way, this was my idea, therefore it is my treat," Dean replied. With his hands on your shoulders, he steered you back so you were facing the shop's front door once again. "I'll have her back in an hour, boss lady," Dean called over his shoulder. Charlie made a shooing motion with her hands, and the next thing you knew, you and Dean were out the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once outside, you scanned the area for places to go and have lunch, but Dean seemed to already have an idea of where to go. He picked up your hand with his, and guided you towards the little diner that was a few blocks from the bakery. Pausing in front of the door, he asked, "Is this okay?"
"Oh, absolutely, I love this place. Their fries have exactly the right amount of crispy that I love, and they have awesome milkshakes,"  you gushed.
Dean pulled the door open for you to walk in before him. "After you, milady," he gestured with a bow.
"Thank you, kind sir," you giggled as your cheeks grew quite warm, even in the air-conditioned diner. Dean's hand settled on the small of your back, gently ushering you to an open table by the window. A waitress with bright red hair and big doe eyes strode over to your table, pen and order pad in her hand.
"Welcome to The Bluebird Café, what can I start you with to drink?" Emma, your server, asked.
"I'll have a cup of coffee, please," Dean replied.
"And I'll have an Arnold Palmer, please," you asked.
"Excellent, and do you need a few minutes, or are you ready to order?" Emma inquired.
You and Dean looked at each other, both shrugged and grinned. You ordered the turkey club sandwich with fries, while he ordered the bacon cheeseburger with fries. Emma smiled and said she would be back shortly with your drinks.
"So," he started. "You do know that an 'Arnold Palmer' is just an iced tea with a whole lot of lemon in it, right?" Dean teased.
"I know, but it's what I like," you laughed. "This is nice, thank you. I usually don't get much of a chance to take a 'real' lunch break. You know, one where I actually leave the shop. Usually, I'm bringing in leftovers and reheating them in the microwave," you explained.
"Well, that is a tragedy, one I am committed to remedying for you," Dean declared. He leaned back, since Emma had returned with your drink order. As she set his drink on the table, she gave him a big wink, which did not go unnoticed by you. An unfamiliar and unpleasant feeling fluttered in your stomach at her obvious attempts at flirting with Dean.
Dean seemed to pay no attention to her, though. He continued to rattle on about possibly making this a once-a-week event for the two of you. Suddenly he stopped talking and carefully reached across the table for your hand. As soon as he made contact, you jumped as if scalded by boiling hot water.
"I'm sorry, was it something I said?" he asked gently. He pulled his hand back, waiting for you to make the next move.
"No, Dean, I'm sorry. What were you saying about lunch?" you asked, hoping to revisit the subject.
"It's all right, we can talk about this another time," he promised. At that moment, his phone went off, and he rolled his eyes as he fished it out of his pants pocket. If the look on Dean's face was any indication, it said he'd rather not interrupt lunch with you to answer. However, he knew he had to take it.
"Sa-Sammy? Sam. Slow down, bro, what's going on? They what? You're kidding me. No, don't worry, I'll handle it. I'll think of  something and let you know. Bye, bro," Dean grimaced as he  disconnected the call.
By this time, Emma had returned with your lunch order, placing your meals in front of you. Reaching across the table, you took his hand in yours. "Is everything okay? Something I can help with, Dean?" you asked with concern.
Dean let out a small chuckle. "You're so sweet. It's about my parents' 30th anniversary party.  They've decided to go all out for this party, they've rented a ballroom at this hotel, invited a bunch of their friends, black-tie. There'll be dinner, dancing, the works," he explained.
"Sounds fancy," you added.
"Yup. So, we hired this company to make these baked goods for the dessert table, but they had to cancel. Seems they overbooked themselves, and ours was the last order taken, so the first to be cancelled," he grumbled.
"That's terrible! Also, extremely unprofessional," you retorted.
"Anyway, the party is in three months, and now I have to come up with a solution before everyone is booked. Wait a minute," Dean said, his face brightening.
"What?" you asked.
"You work for a bakery, and I've seen firsthand the work you all can do. If the product tastes even half as good as it looks, I think I've found a solution to my problem. What if your shop took the contract?" Dean suggested.
You pondered his idea for a minute. On the one hand, you and your co-workers took great pride in your work. You were confident that your shop could compete with the larger ones. On the other hand, it was a rather daunting task. One that may possibly blow up in your face if it didn't go well. "How about we ask Charlie when we get back? Let her decide if we can handle a job of that scale, not to mention prestige," you replied.
"Oh, sweetheart, if you can convince her to take the job, I would be forever in your debt," Dean remarked as he dug into his burger.
Your cheeks grew warm at hearing his endearment for you. "That's not necessary, Dean," you said shyly.
He put his burger down and reached for your hand across the table and grasped it in his. "You know, you're awfully pretty when you blush. Sweetheart," he added with a wink.
You felt as if your cheeks were the temperature of glowing hot metal from a sword-maker's forge. "Thank you, Dean," you whispered.
At some point, you had the presence of mind to pick up your sandwich and take your first bite. The warm turkey and crispy bacon against the cool lettuce, tomato and mayo nearly melted in your mouth. Once you and Dean had finished your sandwich and his burger, you took turns stealing fries from each others' plates. It was the most relaxed lunch break you'd taken in a while.
All too soon, it was time for you to return to work. Before you left your table, you made sure to exchange phone numbers with Dean. When you got back to the shop, Dean's pie order was all boxed up and ready to go. You went into the kitchen and asked Charlie to come out to one of the tables, because Dean had something to ask her.
When he was done explaining his dilemma, Charlie was silent for a few minutes. You and Dean passed nervous looks back and forth to each other until Charlie cleared her throat. "I think....I think that we could help you out, Dean. You said the party is in three months?" she  asked. Dean confirmed the date of the party as June 20th, three and a half months away. "You know what? Let's do this!" Charlie exclaimed.
Hugs were exchanged and a preliminary order form for the party was completed. Once that was done, you helped Dean load up his slices of pie in a shopping bag. After he placed the last one in the bag, you put your hand on his arm. "Thank you so much for lunch today. I had a wonderful time with you. Next time, though, it's my treat," you promised.
"Anything you say, as long as there is a next time," he agreed, tapping on the end of your nose. "It's time I should be getting home and start sampling these pies. Maybe I'll share them with my family....then again, maybe not," Dean grinned and waggled his eyebrows.
You laughed at Dean's antics. "I hope you enjoy your purchase, sir. Don't eat too many at once, or you'll get sick, you know! Hope you have a great rest of your day," you replied.
"Until we meet again, sweet lady," Dean said softly. He captured your hand once more and brushed his lips to the back of it. "Ladies," he called to your boss and co-workers as he walked out the door.
As soon as the door was shut, everyone swarmed around you. "Where on earth did you meet him?" Kara and Charlie both asked.
"Girls, he's my next-door neighbor. He's friendly, easy to talk to and has a great sense of humor. Also has a dog, a Golden Retriever," you mentioned.
"And he's good-looking, hot, handsome, all of the above," Kara interjected.
You rolled your eyes, even though you agreed with Kara's assessment. "Can we please get back to work?" you asked with mock exasperation. Reluctantly, everyone returned to their station and the remainder of the day passed without further comment on Dean. Mostly, anyway. Charlie stopped you as you were both closing up the shop for the night.
"Seriously, you need to do something about and with that neighbor of yours. Not everyone is a jerk like your ex, honey," she remarked.
"I know, Char. Right now, I'm having fun being friends with Dean. For now, that is," you hastily added.
"Uh, okay, but the way he was looking at you tells me that he wishes you were having fun as more than friends. He's into you. Taking you to lunch, buying one slice of every kind of pie we have. Giving us this tremendous opportunity to cater his parents' anniversary. Face it, he likes you," she finished.
"We'll see, Charlie. For now, I'm going home to shower, order a pizza then probably fall asleep halfway through some movie. I know, the riveting life I lead," you remarked sarcastically.
You and Charlie walked out to your cars together and gave each other a hug before going your separate ways. You promised to let her know if anything more developed between you and Dean. "Don't get your hopes up, Char," you warned, even though you secretly wished for another opportunity to get together with your neighbor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As predicted, you didn't go out for drinks with your friends from work. You breathed a sigh of relief when you parked your car in front of your house. "Home at last," you announced to yourself. Once inside the house, you deposited your keys in the bowl on the shelf next to the door.
You walked into your room and began peeling off your clothes to get ready for your shower. The hot water coursing over your body soothed your aching muscles from a hard day's work. You dried yourself off and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt. From your phone, you accessed the app for the pizza place and ordered your dinner. You settled on the couch for some mindless TV program while you waited for your delivery.
About 40 minutes later, your doorbell rang, signaling dinner was served. When you opened your door, you were surprised to see Dean standing there, holding your pizza. "Well, this is certainly a surprise. I didn't know you moonlighted as a pizza delivery man," you teased.
"I'll have you know, I'm a man of many talents and secrets. Sadly, though, pizza delivery is neither of them. I had to kind of hijack this from your actual delivery person. I was hoping we could make good on that deal to get together, since you have no big plans? You know, that we were talking about this morning?" he asked with hope.
You laughed as you opened the door wider for him to come in. "How can I refuse such an offer? Please, come in," you replied, your heart hammering. "Let's bring the pizza into the kitchen and we can fix our plates there. Would you like something to drink?" you asked.
He asked for a beer if you had it, which fortunately, you did. For yourself, you poured a glass of white wine. "A toast," Dean started. "To dinner and a movie with the sweetest woman I know. Cheers," he finished softly, clinking his glass to yours.
"Cheers," you returned softly. At that moment, your phone rang in your pocket. Dean noticed how your smile completely dropped when you noticed the name on the Caller ID. Anthony, your ex-husband. You took a deep breath before answering, "Hello?"
"What took you so long to answer?" Anthony demanded.
"If you must know, I have a guest over for dinner, Anthony, not that it's any of your business. I was deciding whether to pick up or let it go to voicemail. Looks like I made the wrong decision on that. What do you want?" you retorted.
"Whatever. My parents are coming over for dinner next week, and I can't find the silver flatware that they bought us as a wedding present. I've looked all over the house. It's not here, which means you must have taken it with you when you left. I want it back, and I will be over to your house tomorrow to pick it up," he declared.
"Anthony, what on earth makes you think I have any use for something like that? Besides, it's in the storage area under the basement stairs. I put it there after the last time we used it for dinner with your parents. And you are truly unbelievable if you think I'm capable of stealing," you huffed.
"How do I know you wouldn't take it to the pawn shop if--" he shot back but you  interrupted.
"Don't even THINK about finishing that thought, Anthony. I didn't want anything from you in the divorce. I didn't ask for alimony, all I took with me when I left was what I brought with me into the marriage. Well, all but my belief in a forever love. That was something I had to leave behind when you cheated on me with Ashlynn," you remarked, tears silently streaming down your cheeks. "I don't have your precious silver flatware, Anthony. Goodbye and don't ever call me again," you finished as you disconnected the call.
With a shaking hand, you placed your phone on the counter and covered your face with both hands. Silent sobs wracked your body and the next thing you knew, Dean had wrapped his arms around you in a warm  embrace. You leaned into his chest as the tears continued to streak down your face. "I'm so sorry you had to witness that. I can't believe he thought...." you trailed off as you let yourself be comforted by Dean.
"Shh, shh, it's okay. I'm sorry you had to deal for even one minute with your asshat of an ex," Dean replied, to which you gave a small chuckle. When he looked into your eyes, you noticed a kind of softness was in his eyes. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to your forehead in a lingering kiss. You sighed deeply in contentment and he tightened his embrace just a bit.
"Um....Dean? If it's okay, I'd still like us to hang out, spend time together tonight. Shall we get our pizza and watch our movie? If you still want to, that is," you added.
"I would love nothing more, sweetheart. Let's do that," he agreed.
"I'm going to go splash some cold water on my face, then I'll be in a much better mood. Be back in a few," you promised but not before pressing a shy kiss to his cheek.
Dean stood in your kitchen, a bit stunned. His fingertips brushed the place where your lips had just been, as a broad grin swept across his face. What a woman, he thought.
His thoughts darkened a bit when he thought back on the phone conversation he witnessed. What a colossal jerk you had for an ex-husband. How dare he suggest that you would steal anything from anyone? You are a strong, independent and selfless woman, how dare he betray your trust by cheating on you? Dean knew that if Anthony was in front of him at this moment, he wouldn't be standing long, because Dean would punch him.
Dean's heart nearly broke in two when he heard what you said about not believing in a forever love anymore. He made a vow to himself to do everything he could to restore your faith and belief in love again.
The rest of the evening went a little more smoothly than it did at the beginning. When the movie was over, you walked Dean to the door, where he lingered a little. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear just before he pressed another soft kiss to your forehead. He said he would call you in the morning about plans for the day, and that he'd  like to see you again. You agreed, and wished him goodnight, a sentiment which he returned.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
On Monday afternoon, Charlie called you to the front about something. You had no idea what it could be, so you washed your hands and went to find her. When you got up front, you saw a vase with a dozen roses of assorted colors in it. "The card's for you, and I think you have some 'splaining to do," she teased.
You opened the card, and as you read it to yourself, your cheeks grew warm, which did not escape anyone's notice. You replaced the card in the envelope and slid it in your pocket without sharing its contents.
Kara spread her arms wide then dropped them to her sides in exasperation. "So? What gives? Are they from 'him'? What did the card say?" she asked.
"First of all, yes, they're from Dean. And 'B', I don't have to tell you what the card said," you replied mysteriously.
"Must have been some weekend if she's not willing to share details," Charlie muttered.
"Wouldn't YOU like to know," you taunted.
"YEAH! Actually, I would like to know!" Charlie shot back, but with a small smile. It was nice to see you happy, something she hadn't seen in you for quite some time. Not since the divorce, anyway. Charlie decided that if Dean was who made you happy, then it didn't matter what the card said. Still curious, though, she thought to herself.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In the months leading up to the anniversary party, you and Dean spent more and more time together. You took turns cooking dinner and hanging out at each other's houses. Most nights you ended up on the porch swing, sitting and talking as people walked by. Those were the times you treasured, when it was just the two of you, sometimes his dog. The walls around your heart, put there because of Anthony, were starting to come down, allowing your trust in Dean to grow.
Dean was careful to take things between you at your pace. As much as he wanted to get closer to you, he wanted more than anything for you to be comfortable being with him. Nights out on the porch started with holding hands and soft kisses. Then it moved to the two of you snuggled together in the cool night air or on the couch during a movie. You learned that Dean gave good foot massages, which felt like heaven after a day on your feet baking pies.
One night after dinner at your place, you were standing at the sink rinsing dishes to be put in the dishwasher. You were too busy singing to yourself and swaying your hips. You failed to notice what was going on behind you in the kitchen.
Dean had come around the corner to enter the kitchen, only to hear you singing and see you dancing. Never had he heard a sweeter sound than the melody of your voice, whether singing, speaking or laughing. He quietly positioned himself so he was in your path, directly behind you. If you pivoted just right, you'd run straight into him, which was exactly what he wanted.
You needed to check if there were any other dirty dishes in the dining room. You turned away from the sink and ran smack dab into Dean, your palms landing flat against his solid chest. As he looked down to you, his eyes held a spark of amusement. You looked closer and caught a fleeting glimpse of what you thought was adoration and maybe even love.
"Careful there, darlin’. Wouldn't want you to fall and hurt yourself. Most accidents happen in the kitchen, or so I've heard," Dean explained softly.
"Well," you said as your tongue darted out to lick your lips. That move was nearly Dean's undoing, though you were unaware of its effect on him. "If I fall, I'm sure you'll be there to catch me. Right?" you asked breathily.
"Sweetheart, I will always be there for you," he promised, brushing your cheeks with his fingertips. "Anthony didn't know what he had when you were together. You deserve to be told every day how loved and cherished you are. You should know what a vibrant, sexy woman you are and how lucky I am that I get to do this." He bent his head towards you and captured your lips with his.
At first, the kiss was soft and tender, as if Dean was testing the boundaries between you. As your mouths moved in tandem, the kisses became more insistent and urgent. You slid your hands up his chest and moved them behind his head. Grinning with mischief, your delicate fingers played with the hairs at the base of his neck.
You could feel his smile as he dropped open-mouthed kisses along your neck, behind your ear, wherever he could reach. You felt the tickle of the vibrations against your skin from his playful growl at your teasing his neck. When the need for oxygen became too great, you broke apart, both breathing heavily.
"Whoa, Dean. That was amazing," you whispered.
"Sugar, you're more than 'amazing', I was going to say 'magical'," Dean replied.
"Dean, really, I'm not--" he silenced your protest by sealing his lips to yours once again. There was just enough of an opening between you for Dean's tongue to sneak through. A fact that he took full advantage of, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.
Dean's hands roamed up and down your back as he reached into your hair and gently tugged your head back, exposing your neck. "So beautiful," he murmured against your skin, nipping and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.
Your hands slid around from behind his head to cradle his face so you could attack his lips once again. Just before you dove in to capture his mouth with your own, Dean pulled back a little.
"Is this okay, sweetheart? Or do you want more? We can stop anytime you want," he assured you.
Without a moment's hesitation, "More, I want more with you Dean. Let's go upstairs," you replied as you tugged his hand for him to follow.
Once upstairs in your room, layers of clothing were shed one by one. With no more clothing barriers between you, Dean nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle. Dean soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.
His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, mapping every muscle, every scar, every detail of his exquisite bare body.
Never had you been with such a patient lover, one who was more interested in learning what brought you pleasure than chasing his own end. He wanted to know which touch produced which sounds, so he could fulfill your every desire.
For as much as he was learning about you, there was an eagerness on your end to return the favor. You wanted to discover what sounds he would produce with every caress or stroke of your fingers on his skin. That way, you could be sure to replay each move as often as possible.
The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.
Later, after getting cleaned up, he belatedly realized that neither of you used protection. You assured him that you were clean and had just renewed your birth control, which eased his mind. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.
"Hey," he whispered softly, turning to face you. His hand cupped your cheek, his thumb caressing it.
"Hey yourself," you grinned. At the serious look on his face, you pulled back a little. "Is everything okay? Oh, god, you don't regret--" he interrupted your spiraling mind with a kiss.
"No, sweetheart, never! You're an incredible woman, and I don't regret one second of what just happened between us. Quite the opposite, actually," he chuckled. "I wanted to ask if you would be my 'plus-one' to my parents' anniversary party," he finished.
Your eyes lit up with excitement. "Really?" you whispered. "You want me to meet your parents? That's such an important occasion," you remarked as the self-doubt kicked in.
"I know. That's why I want the woman I love by my side," he replied.
"You love me?" you asked softly.
"Darlin', I've been in love with you since you moved in. Why do you think I'm out on my porch, every morning, when you leave for work? If I don't catch sight of you, even through the curtains, I don't feel like I'll have a good day. You're a strong, passionate and intelligent woman, with a kind and generous heart. There is everything to love about you," he explained.
"Dean, the past few months we've spent together have been wonderful. I feel so comfortable around you, like I can finally be myself. I can tell you anything, without fear of being judged in any way. You are an amazing man, Dean Winchester. I fell in love with you when we went to lunch at The Bluebird Café. That day and everything between us since has restored my belief in a 'forever love'. I love you, Dean," you finished.
"Guess this means you're going shopping for a dress, huh?" he asked, to which you nodded. "Well, sweetheart, you'd better make sure it looks as good on you as it's going to on my bedroom floor," he smirked.
"Your bedroom floor?" you arched an eyebrow in mock annoyance. "Who's to say we wouldn't come back here after the party? Then it would be my bedroom floor," you pointed out.
"Either one works for me, darlin', as long as it ends with you out of the dress," he grinned and waggled his eyebrows.
"You are so lucky that I love you," you remarked.
"Yes, I am. I love you too," he replied softly, as he placed a slow, luxurious kiss on your lips.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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