#actually losing my mind about this they PLANNED this her hands are shaking and they planned it jfc
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@Mel13Oneil: Good eye. This is a planted call back - think you guys can find it?
#*#the rookie#therookieedit#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie spoilers#tuserbecca#usergif#usergrace#userjoie#tuserlena#useroptional#usertimlucy#actually losing my mind about this they PLANNED this her hands are shaking and they planned it jfc#wow wow wow i love my silly little show!!!!!
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true temptation ☆ cl16
genre: sainz!reader, humor, nnn (mommy, i can explain), smut, fluff, whipped!charles, established relationship
word count: 2k
Your boyfriend makes a decision to participate in NNN, but immediately regrets it when he realizes just how difficult it is to stay away from you.
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+...car sex, riding, fingering
req!... probably the longest drabble i’ve done so far, but i hope you all enjoy!
“You’re never going to last.”
The Monegasque’ eyes challenge you as you stand there unimpressed, hands on your hips. It had all started with him barging in on you and calling an ‘emergency couple’s meeting’.
Pacing the room, he goes back and forth, mumbling slowly, as if creating a plan up in his head. As far as you’re concerned, he was never going to actually do it. The man was obsessed with you.
“Have a little faith in me,” he groans, hands brushing his hair back in despair.
His so called - ‘emergency’ - was that he would be taking part in No Nut November. No kissing. No sex.
Or anything remotely related to it.
Walking up to him, you pat his chest. His hands find their way down to your waist, doe eyes staring back up at him.
“I will… But I’m going to make your head spin.”
-
He started off strong. He even felt a bounce in his step when he entered Ferrari Hospitality; he swore he felt like he was walking on sunshine.
“You’re actually doing it?”
Joris, too, had no hope for his friend. He had seen the way the green eyed boy would cling onto you as if it were the only thing he knew how to do. The way he talked about you, even when you weren’t around.
“Oui. Why? Do you not think it’s a good idea?”
His friend tilts his head to the side as he thinks about it for a minute. “Not sure. All I know is that your and Pierre’s bet on who can last longer is never going to end up good. You can’t even go a single second without kissing her!”
“He said he could last longer than me? I have to prove him wrong….” His mind slips over to the last part. “I can live without her kisses for a month. It’ll be fine.”
The Ferrari driver makes his way to his team, properly analyzing what faults his car had and how he can make the best out of it. Frustrated, Charles rubs his eyes.
“I will do the best I can, but I can’t promise a podium. Not with a car like this.”
Taking notes, Xavi nods as he walks away. “Hi, Xavi!” The sound of your voice instantly makes him ease up as he searches for you. His jaw goes slack.
“What are you wearing?”
Smiling wide with eyes crinkled, you rush over to him. “It’s only a dress.”
But it wasn’t just a dress. He knows you did it on purpose, wearing the little black dress he had last fucked you in. It’s the way it fans your thighs as the wind gently teases anyone passing by.
“You’re supposed to be on my team. Are we really going to let Kika and Pierre win?”
Rolling your eyes, you tippy toe, naturally about to kiss him, but stop yourself before you do. He frowns.
“You are sooo right!” You comedically screech as you slap your hands against your cheeks. “I do want us to win! Forget the kiss, my mistake.”
He chuckles darkly, shaking his head.
“You’re a fucking nightmare.”
-
He’s a week in and he’s finally starting to lose his grip.
“You’re sweating buckets, mate,” Daniel points out as he lets out a loud laugh, doing a muppet dive. Charles unbuttons his collared shirt.
“It’s the heat, it’s the heat.”
The Aussie furrows his eyebrows and he raises a hand up to feel the air. Light breeze. Shivering, you strut over to your boyfriend.
“Can we leave? It’s getting too cold.”
And he hates the way that dress clings onto your body, your figure being completely shown off. Nothing but dirty thoughts have entered his mind from the moment he first saw you.
“Sure.”
Kicking off your heels, you throw yourself onto the bed, face first. Shooo tirefff, you mumble against the sheets. He purposefully takes a seat across from you, knowing he’d be tempted to cross the line if he didn’t.
Tossing over, you reach out for him. And he’s about to turn you down, but he notices the way your nose is painted pink - your cheeks, too - and soft, tired eyes meeting his. His heart melts at the sight. So, he reminds himself that a hug with his girlfriend is nothing bad.
Climbing onto his lap, you dig your face into his chest, short dress riding up. He physically has to stop himself from letting out a loud moan. Instead, he traces his fingers up and down your spine. You shudder.
“Are you sure we can’t fuck, Charlie?”
Right there, is his breaking point. He’s ready to kiss you, finger you, eat you out, fuck you, anything. But you giggle teasingly as you pull back, a wicked smile drawn.
“Whoops. Never mind.”
-
He’s known you wouldn’t make this easy on him. It’s almost as if you’ve made it your mission to screw with his head - and while he would normally love it - in this case, it was killing him.
Dance with me, you would beg him and you sway in front of him. It was a rare moment of it just being you two, so naturally, you took advantage of it. You showered, did your skincare, watched a movie, but the moment you heard Sparks by Coldplay echoing from his phone, you immediately jumped up like a bunny.
Then, his heart would melt, and melt, and melt - and melt some more. It would only be a reminder of what a perfect match you both were. He would memorize your face once again; no makeup, eyebags due to long travels with him, a small cut on the bridge of your nose from earlier when Lando had accidentally hit you with his frisbee, pink lips he so desperately missed.
He would oblige, the way you knew he would. He found home within you as you would both sway, your feet on top of his as he would lead you both, you having to do nothing but close your eyes and feel his heartbeat. And it was so sweet to know that it was only yours.
I love you, he would remind you as if he didn’t already tell you a million times before. As if it were a way to make up for all this. And you would say-
“I know.”
-
“How are you keeping up?”
The Frenchman smiles proudly as he takes a sip of water. “I’m actually doing fine. You?”
Charles gulps, green eyes following to where you stand next to Kika.
“Good.”
-
“It’s actually not that hard.”
Kika and you had been touching up on your boyfriend's challenge. She would say it as if it were the easiest thing. You slump against your chair.
“That’s not fair… Mine has the most beautiful face ever!”
“Hey!”
You squeal as she aims a pillow at you. I’m sorry! The Portuguese laughs too, sticking her tongue out. You sigh. “I do miss him, though.”
“Yeah…”
“Have we seriously just been talking about how horny we are?”
“Don’t say it like that!” She bites her lip. “We have.”
“Why did they ever think this was going to be a good idea?”
Propping her arm against the table, she beams. “It’s not, but I heard from Pierre about how much Charles is struggling.” You groan.
“Yeah, well that’s nothing but his own fault.”
-
It’s now been 2 weeks and he’s already given up. His pleads were convincing.
C’mon, baby. Let me fuck you.
It’s been too long. I miss the way you taste.
But you stood your ground.
“No, no, no.” You shook your head, running away. Seeing Carlos, you hide behind him. “You brought this onto yourself! Now you’re just going to have to deal with it.”
Confused, Carlos questions you both on what you’re talking about. It’s just that your sister won’t let me-
“Stop! That’s my brother!”
The Monegasque shrugs as Carlos turns to you. What is he talking about? Your face burns up as you brush him off. “Nada, nada - he’s just being a jerk.” And so, he believes it and walks away, too tired to deal with any of it.
You let out a squeal when Charles plunges towards you. He picks you up, carrying you to his motorhome.
“Let go!”
Dropping you onto his small bed, he stares down at you like a lion salivating over their prey. You suppress a whimper, clamming your legs shut. He raises a brow.
“You’re telling me you don’t want the same thing I do? I promise I’ll do it just the way you like it.”
Closing your eyes, you can picture it. You can feel him already, pressed up against you. You do want it, you do. Opening your eyes, you shake your head.
“Just two more weeks to go.”
-
“We lost.” Taken aback, you snort. What do you mean? Your friend blushes before dragging you to the corner. “I mean that last night Pierre and I went out for dinner and one thing led to another and-”
“Okay, okay, I caught on!”
Giggling, she shimmies her shoulders towards you. “What are you going to do?” You pout as you stare back blankly. She sighs. “I’m talking about you and Charles! I mean you both already won - you could do whateverrrr you want.”
Stuttering, you cough before saying, “You made it loud and clear, thank you very much.”
-
Shivering, you climb into the passenger's seat of his Pista as you thank him for opening and closing your door. As soon as he climbs in, he turns on the heater. The Monaco streets were lonely, everyone already in their homes, sheltering from the light rain that had picked up.
“You want to pull over?”
You sound so sweet asking that he almost thinks he’s hallucinating or that any second now you’re going to surprise him with a, just kidding!
But he quickly could tell you weren’t and he doesn’t want to let the moment slip away. Not when he’s been waiting for so long. Screw it if he lost.
Pulling over on the side of an isolated street, he hauls you onto his lap. You thank the universe for skirts. Pushing your panties aside, his long fingers slide against your wet folds. You let out a wail.
“Fuck, you don’t know how I’ve missed hearing you.” He slides two fingers in. “Feeling you.”
Dazed, you find yourself grinding on his fingers. Every single time they would brush against your g-spot, you would kiss him harder. He slips them out, bringing them up to his lips.
And he moans in a way you’ve never heard before. So fucking sweet. Blushing, you lean in to kiss him. You can still taste yourself.
“Charles, please - do something.”
Never during your entire relationship has he ever fucked you as hard as he did that day. His grip on your waist hurt, but it hurt so good. His cock would continuously brush against where you needed him the most, so much so, he left you seeing stars. Drooling all over him, you hold onto his shoulders, bouncing up and down rapidly.
“So tight – So warm.” He chokes when you ground your hips deeper. “So fucking good.”
Then, he finishes inside of you. His fingers slide down to your clit as he rubs it. You finish with a loud cry. Kissing you one last time, he slaps your ass. You scowl playfully.
“Admit it - you’ve missed it, too.”
-
“Just a few more weeks and you would have won!” Pierre clicks his tongue before kicking his legs up against the table in front of him. Charles rolls his eyes.
“I’m never doing that again.”
Kika smacks the Frechman’s thigh. “You both lost, remember? Only, you did before him.” The Monegasque quickly springs up.
“You’re saying we won?”
“You’re acting as if this were the fucking Olympics, Cha.” You drag him by the arm to sit back down as he starts celebrating his ‘accomplishment of the year’.
“What are we clapping about?”
Your brother strolls over to an open seat as he opens up a water bottle. Hurriedly, you screech, “Nothing! Only that the season is almost over-”
“He’s yapping about how he won No Nut November, except, he didn’t. 2 weeks and fucking does not count.”
“You did what?”
Jumping up, Charles trips over his feet as he tries backing away from the angry Spaniard. “I think I forgot my phone! I’ll be right back!”
Chasing after him, your brother yells out, “That’s my baby sister, cabrón!”
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader
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A Lonely Night
summary: Your crush on your roommate gets out of hand. His smile ruins you in a way you never expected.
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
word count: 1.9K
warnings: 18+, masturbation (fingering, vibrator use), fantasies, daddy kink, no mention of y/n
A/N: I actually planned this as a 3 part story where we see his POV as well. I hope to write the remaining 2 parts. I hope my inspiration lasts.
The gif represents the smile that ruined the reader. Who can blame her?
Thank you so much @notafunkiller for beta-reading and editing on such short notice. You're a lifesaver!
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Read more tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.
You don’t know how you ended up here. You had no intention of doing something like this. You didn’t intend to think about sex at all, especially not while your roommate is home. But when you saw his charming smile and those shiny blue eyes, you felt a jolt of electricity running through your body. It somehow felt like a 0.5-millisecond orgasm. It doesn’t matter how short it was, though, because you can feel the dampness of your panties, so you have no other choice but do something about it.
The TV is on, and it sounds like Bucky is watching the news. That’s not the sexiest thing to hear while touching yourself, yet you are grateful there’s something that covers the noises you make. It’s not like you are a really loud person. Especially not while touching yourself, but this time… You feel there’s something different about this time. The way your body responds to your own touch is not something you’ve experienced before. Neither is the wetness that is dripping out of you. It’s like your body is desperate for this. Desperate for attention and release.
You keep rubbing your pussy, touching all the different spots that make yourself feel good, and your whole body starts to shake, your ears buzzing, and your mind completely blank except for the image of Bucky. His smile and those blue eyes... You want him to be on top of you, touching you the way you like it, fingering you, telling you to be a good girl for him, and making you come over and over again. Then when you think it’s over you want him to push himself inside you, making your abused pussy clench with need. You can imagine how tired you would feel yet how wonderful it would be to finally have him inside you. He would start slowly, making you ask for it. You would either beg him to give you a break because you can’t come one more time or beg him to go harder, faster so you can just lose yourself. The thought of him consumes you while you are coming. It’s such a sweet orgasm, not all-consuming. It feels like you are floating in the air. So good. Exactly what you needed. What you don’t expect is how long it lasts.
You don’t remember the last time you felt like this. Self-pleasuring is something you do often, but it never felt this good. Normally you would be done by now: already reached the top and breathing heavily while enjoying your after-glow, but this time it’s like your body wants even more. You can’t stop touching yourself. It just doesn’t stop feeling good, no overstimulation. At least not yet.
So if your body wants more, you are going to give it more. You will continue until you feel absolutely satisfied. That’s why you keep touching yourself, testing what feels the best and using your wetness. You haven’t used an ounce of lube since you started and yet your fingers are unbelievably sticky. You can’t help yourself but raise on your elbows and look at your pussy. You move your fingers apart and the wetness creates a bridge between them.
“Oh my god…”
He just gave you the most charming smile on the face of the earth. Nothing more. Why are you so freaking wet?
You can actually think of a couple of reasons. One of them is not having sex for a while. You don’t remember when was the last time. You can only remember it wasn’t impressive so you came home and took your vibrator out and rode it until you collapsed on the bed, finally feeling satisfied enough to sleep. Since then, you either used your fingers or your vibrator to get off, and your body needed more. A lot more.
The other reason is, your growing crush on Bucky. You knew this would be a problem when you decided to be roommates with him, yet it didn’t stop you. It’s delightful to see his handsome face every day, but it’s also torture. Seeing him getting out of the shower, with only a towel around his waist, or half naked while working out… It’s impossible not to get a crush. And on top of that, he’s super kind. Always considering you. He doesn’t sleep much, you know that, but he never makes any noise at night. Never disturbs you. Never eats your food. He never even brought someone over. At least not yet. You are dreading the day that might happen. It will hurt so badly, and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. Maybe that will help you get over your silly crush. But truth be told, you’d rather have it forever than hear him fucking someone else.
You keep rubbing yourself, over and over again until your head is thrown back. There’s this hunger building inside you. God, you feel like begging even though you are the one touching yourself.
“Please, please, please…” You try to be as quiet as possible. It’s just a whisper.
“I really need it, please…”
You do. You really do. You need to come so hard that you can’t breathe. Maybe then it will be enough. Maybe then you will feel satisfied. Your fingers start working even faster. You can feel your second orgasm, but there’s something on the back of your mind that’s holding you back. The thought of Bucky finding you like this. You don’t want that to happen. So you are holding back a little. You can’t risk it, can you? Otherwise, you won’t be able to look at him. You keep rubbing different spots trying to find the best one for this orgasm. Nothing works until you hear a sound from the living room. Probably Bucky moving around in the apartment. Somehow that sets you off. Your orgasm comes crashing in, taking your breath away while you silently keep touching yourself. You keep going until you can’t anymore. You feel buzzed, breathing heavily. That might be the best orgasm you had lately. You take a deep breath in, and then out. The thought of him catching you was terrifying yet you couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop. Can you be actually terrified and excited at the same time? If so, that’s exactly how you felt.
You lay there, in the comfort of your bed, and try to collect your mind. A part of you feels guilty because of what you’ve just done. Not the masturbation part, but pleasuring yourself at the thought of Bucky because he has no idea. He probably never even looked at you like that. Still, you can’t help but feel attraction, and it’s not just a physical thing. His personality is making everything worse. If he was just an asshole, everything would be easier, but he had to be the most amazing guy you’ve ever met. So, it’s his fault if you are masturbating to the thought of him, right? He’s just too perfect.
You breathe in and out, trying to deal with the guilt and your racing thoughts. Normally, this would be more than enough. Two back-to-back orgasms and the second one was so fucking intense yet you can still feel the need. It’s right there. Your core is silently begging while your wetness keeps dripping out of you. When you close your eyes and imagine Bucky pushing himself inside you, your muscles contract and your whole body begs for more.
Sighing, you open your bedside drawer. Here it is, your beloved vibrator. You close the drawer and look at it for a couple of seconds, trying to decide if you should really do this. He’s still in the living room, you can still hear the TV. It’s possible you might get caught, yet the hunger inside you takes over any rational thought.
After a couple of seconds, you finally give in. Slowly, you push the vibrator inside you and your pussy clenches around it. Even without moving or turning it on, it feels amazing. The feeling of being full… You missed it so much. Then you start to move it in and out, slowly. You close your eyes and imagine it’s a real cock inside you, but it’s hard to get lost in that thought. The texture of the vibrator is far from realistic and the size isn’t that impressive. When that doesn’t work out, you turn it on and let yourself feel it. It’s better. Much better but still not enough.
“God…” You complain silently while changing your position. You flip around and go on all fours, pushing your ass out as much as you can, the way you would do during sex. That finally hits the spot. You grab your pillow with haste and push your face into it, trying to cover any noise you might make.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Your muffled moans can’t reach Bucky. He’s watching the TV after all.
“Yess, right there.” The words leave your lips before you are able to process them. Where are these words coming from? Who are you talking to? Is it a fantasy? You don’t know, but it feels good to let it out.
“Oh please, fuck me.” You try to push all the rational thoughts aside. It’s not the time for that.
“Fuck me, daddy, please.” You close your eyes and imagine Bucky again. Him taking his sweet time, edging you until you beg for release. You would give anything, absolutely anything to do this with him.
“Harder, please, daddy, I need it harder,” you mumble and then turn and press the vibration button again. It starts to pulse faster inside you and you feel like there is no air in your lungs anymore. You choke for a second, raising your head up from the pillow, and take a deep breath while your orgasm rips you apart. It’s nothing like you’ve experienced before. A part of your brain thinks you’re unlocking another level of orgasm while the other part is trying to enjoy this feeling while it lasts.
“Yes, yes, yes. Right there.” You let your head fall back on the pillow as you keep imagining Bucky. You have no idea how long your orgasm actually lasts. It’s definitely the longest one you’ve ever had. When your pussy starts to feel too sensitive you take out the vibrator and turn it off.
Finally, you are feeling satisfied. You place the vibrator on top of your nightstand while you get on your back again. After taking a couple of deep breaths, you notice the lack of TV noise.
Shit.
Why did he turn the TV off? And more important, when? You look at the clock on the wall in front of you and the news program is not over yet. Did he hear you?
God, please... Don’t let that happen.
You quickly stand up, putting your clothes back on quickly, and then you open the door as carefully as possible. The living room is empty. All you can hear is the shower running.
Thank god!
Bucky is taking a shower. So even with no TV on, he couldn’t have possibly heard you. The sound of the water would cover your moans, right? You hope so at least.
You go back to your room, clueless about the fact that Bucky heard everything, how he paid attention to every single detail, trying to memorize how you sound while coming. How you moan, how you rub yourself, and how needy you are.
Feeling like a creep, he jumped in the shower. Clearly, you were imagining someone else, and he had no right to listen to something as private as this. Yet he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop imaging how it would be the one that you call daddy. And he definitely couldn't stop his left hand from wrapping around his cock.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes one shot#sebastian stan#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky x reader#bucky x you#A Lonely Night#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x f!reader#avengers smut#my stories
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You creep carefully into Rafe’s bedroom, pushing the already-open door gently with your palm. Your eyes dart around, worried he’s going to be just around the corner, but you’re greeted with nothing—just the empty space that belongs to Rafe.
How exactly did you get yourself into this? It had started a few hours ago—at least that’s what you thought. You didn’t have any clue what Sarah and her new friends were up to, you were just over for a pre-planned girls night that was dismissed the second you walked into Tannyhill. Instead, Sarah asks for a favor, one that you deny almost immediately.
“You’ll be in and out, it won’t take more than a minute-”
“I am not sneaking into Rafe’s room for you, Sarah. What if he-he catches me? Finds me in there? What am I gonna say?”
“He’s not gonna be home later, I promise. It’ll be a second, and he’s always liked you most out of all my friends so he won’t even care-”
Your face flushes at the very sentence. Her brother, Rafe, the one that you’ve only interacted with on chance occasions, the one who makes your heartbeat speed up anytime he’s in the vicinity, that very Rafe, has always liked you?
You’re too caught up in that thought and its implications to even question Sarah anymore. Her new friends—Pogue friends, ones that you don’t know and aren’t sure how long they’ve known her—linger by the door. They seem eager to make sure that you agree.
You’re being moved around the board like a chess piece but you can’t find it in yourself to care. It’s shallow, you know, as one thought circulates through your mind, body, and bloodstream—Rafe has always liked you.
A hazy, dreamy mist settles over you. You agree to Sarah, feeling increasingly stupid as you settle into the living room and keep your eyes on the television. She left with her friends, and when Rafe comes down, you’re supposed to tell him you’re waiting for his sister. Once he leaves, you need to sneak into his bedroom to find a map they seem to desperately need. One of the boys suggests it’ll be in his sock drawer.
“It’s not a porn magazine, JJ, why would it be there-”
“Oh, um, I don’t know, just that it’s the number one male hiding spot-”
“What studies are you basing this off of?”
"A little thing called the study of life, Pope-”
You had interrupted them yourself, reassuring that you’ll look in his dresser and his desk.
But now, walking into Rafe’s bedroom, you're losing all your nerve. You’ve thought about this before—you’d be lying to yourself to deny it. Any girl who has a best friend with a cute older brother has too. In the summers you sleep at Tannyhill more often than your own house, but you still could have never imagined this would be the reason you’re in Rafe’s room for the first time.
The house is silent, just like Sarah had told you. Mr. and Mrs. Cameron out at the country club, Wheezie at the beach, Sarah supposedly with you but actually with those Pogues. She says Rafe is gone too, driving around somewhere with his friends, and you believe her without a second thought.
But you do have a second thought, and it's the fact that this is so beyond wrong.
Looking through Rafe’s belongings with your eyes, your hands start to tremble at the idea of touching something of his without his permission. You want to swallow your nerves to do this for your friend, but you hesitate, hands hovering over the drawer to his dresser.
For a second, you want to puke, worried that you’ll open this drawer to find porn magazines like John B had said, or worse—photos of one of his girls that you really don’t want to see.
Your shaking hands pull open the top-most drawer, but everything calms down once it’s open. Besides for white socks and plaid boxers, there’s nothing in there. Your shoulders relax, your knees feeling weak.
Then you wonder for a second—why were you so worried about finding evidence of some other girl in his bedroom? Your mind spins briefly, worried at how attached you really are to Sarah’s brother, someone who’s never spoken to you more than a handful of times. A million thoughts run through your brain, all of them about Rafe and none of them noticing the way his bedroom door has just opened wide.
“Looking for something?” The timber of Rafe’s voice hits your ears and you freeze, probably looking like something out of a cartoon, shoulders tense, eyes wide. You’re still facing his dresser, and you really, really don’t want to turn, but you do, and then you wish you hadn’t.
Rafe’s dripping wet—damp hair sticking to his forehead, a towel around his waist and droplets of water glittering on his abs. He’s looking at you like he never has before. Your eyes are focused on everything else—the bare skin of his chest, his huge arms, the blue color of his towel.
“My eyes are up here, kid.”
Like a deer caught in headlights, you turn your gaze up to lock eyes. You’re terrified—he has to be angry, no, furious. You’re practically a stranger to him, a stranger invading his privacy. But when you finally take in his expression, it’s not angry. He looks amused, a smirk playing at his lips while he takes you in, standing before him like a child about to be reprimanded for touching something that doesn’t belong to them.
“I-I…” you trail off, swallowing hard, still staring at Rafe.
“You, you?” he mocks. You think you’re going to start crying but no tears well up—yet. “What’re you looking for?” he asks it seriously, his tone shifting.
You’ve never spoken to Rafe enough to notice, but he’s incredibly domineering. You shrink just from his gaze, while he closes the door and walks closer to you.
“Um, I-” You stop yourself short.
“Looking for trouble, huh?” He says it like it’s a joke, but you know he’s not kidding. Your head shakes, trying to convince him you’re not, but it’s not much use.
He’s not very far from you now, maybe another foot and you could smell the scent of his soap, another few inches and you could feel the heat radiating off of his bare body.
You realize how you must look right now, wearing a tiny dress because of the heat outside but now feeling goosebumps prick along your arms. Your bare feet rest on his carpet while your hands feel clammy from how scared you are.
“I, uh, I needed socks.” You look down at your feet and he does too, looking back up at the same time.
“Socks? From me?”
“Couldn’t find Sarah’s. She needs to do laundry.”
“So you came in here to get mine?”
“I-I’ll bring them back. Washed. Promise.” Your gaze is now dying to avoid his, looking all around his room and then turning back to the drawer to take out a pair.
You feel a wet hand on your arm, turning you back around at full force, his balled up socks falling from your hand as you stare Rafe in the eyes. He must be able to tell from the way your body shakes in his grip, how your eyelids are fluttering fast, how scared you are.
“Don’t lie to me, kid. I won’t like it.” You suck in a sharp breath. A few moments pass.
“I’m not lying, Rafe. Promise.”
You actually don’t know it happens—ending up with his towel on the floor and your sundress right next to it, tangled up in the sheets, your body folded in half with Rafe pounding into you. He grips your cheeks and fucks you like you’re his, like he owns your pussy and every other part of you. It goes on for so long you lose track, forgetting everything else but how to say Rafe’s name, remembering nothing but how he sounded groaning into your ear. He kisses you, hard and wet, and that’s when you cum for the third—fourth? fifth? you’ve lost track—time. He cums too—inside you, and normally you think you’d maybe have an issue with that, but since you were the one begging for it, you don’t think you’re allowed to say anything in the way of a complaint.
Rafe rolls off of you a little bit later, after you’ve had a chance to catch your breath. You think he’s gonna tell you to get out so you try to get up yourself, trying to balance on trembling legs, when he puts his hand on your waist and steadies you back onto the bed.
“What’d you need? You should sit.” You look up at him, surprised. He doesn’t like it. “Water?” You nod, and he pulls on some sweatpants and forgoes a shirt, walking out and closing the door softly behind him.
You get comfortable under Rafe’s sheets, pulling them up to cover yourself and body sinking into his bed. You reach out to find your phone, which has somehow ended up on the nightstand even though you don’t recall putting it there. There’s a few new messages.
Sarah: Did you go in yet?
Sarah: I think he left, go now!!
Then one from thirty minutes after that.
Sarah: Did you find it?? Call me!!
You reply quickly, setting the phone down when you hear Rafe’s hand on the doorknob.
Sorry, didn’t find anything. Had to go, I’ll see you tomorrow.
#this format is so fun! do you guys prefer tiny text or normal tho?#i hope everyone likes this one! i wrote it quick#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader
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Bereavement
noun
/bɪˈriːv.mənt/
The state one is in when losing someone important to them
Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse
42! Miles X F!Reader, 1610! Miles X F!Reader
Synopsis: Miles is missing, and all you can think about is getting him back. Upon finally finding him, however, you're taken aback by the copy that stands beside him—the same copy that was staring at you with wide, shaking eyes full of... disbelief?
Note: this one's for my cousin. The idea actually came to me while I was rewatching the first spiderverse lmao. Who knew Kingpin was such a source of ideas?
part two.
You saw it—on the control panel—42. Miles had been transported to Earth 42.
You belonged to 1610; which meant that Miles also belonged to 1610.
He was in the wrong universe.
Your best friend was stranded in the wrong universe.
Now, if you were a rational person, you would've called for back-up—maybe even gotten Hobie's help like Gwen had. But you weren't a rational person—and could anyone blame you?—your best friend was probably in danger, of course you would act without thinking.
The watch wasn't hard to swipe, everyone was too caught up in what had just happened with Miles to care for guarding their little 'goober' dimension devices. Tracking him down wasn't terribly difficult either, not after you knew which world he went to.
All you really needed to think about was where exactly you had to open the portal—but luckily for you, Margo was willing to help.
"You owe me for this, by the way." Her head tilted your way, lids narrowed in a sassy look you dismissed with a wave of your hand.
"Yeah, okay, what're his coordinates?"
With a roll of her eyes—that you very much thought was quite rude—she gave you just what you needed; his exact coordinates.
The assortment of colours and geometric shapes appeared before you with a few taps of your finger against the cold device, flitting across the room in a bright blur of pure chaos that hurt your eyes to look at—
—but you would endure it; if only for Miles' sake.
"This is stupid, by the way—" you turned, facing the girl who insisted on making a snide comment every five seconds, "—you're not even a spiderperson."
"Says the girl who's speaking to me through a VR headset and isn't actually here right now," you growled.
"Careful, I can shut this whole thing down right now and tell Miguel what you're planning," she returned your apprehension with crossed arms, brows furrowing even further.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you sighed, "it's just— I'm worried about him. Please don't tell Miguel. Miles has saved me so many times, it's time I save him for once."
You assumed you must've looked rather pitiful for her features to have softened up, arms falling limp by her side as she, too, gave a sigh; though hers sounded like it stemmed from a different type of exasperation to yours.
"Just... go. Before I change my mind—preferably."
You gave her the brightest smile you could muster, hoping to god she could see all the appreciation in it—and there was a lot—before turning back around to take a step into the portal.
"Miles! I'm here to—"
As soon as you walked through, you were met with a dark room—though, that wasn't what caught your attention. Instead, your wide eyes landed on that familiar hanging bag, beat down and bits of its material flaked off.
Chained up to it, was your very own, Miles Morales. And stood directly opposite to him was... also Miles Morales?
Alright, you were aware of this whole 'spiderverse' thing but you didn't think it would be this trippy.
"...save you?"
They were both staring directly at you, however, the expressions situated on their faces were vastly different.
Miles—your Miles—had his eyes blown wide, shaky pupils not leaving your form for a second, even as he started frantically shaking his head from left to right, he still remained in eye-contact with you.
The other Miles also had his eyes blown wide. This time, however, it wasn't in warning—no—his pupils were dilated and his form stood rigid; still as a statue.
"Cariño..." he whispered; so much breath in his voice, it barely sounded like words were coming out.
"Y/N! You have to get out of here!" Your Miles yelled, pulling at his chains as though it would get him any closer to you.
You scoffed. "And leave you? I don't think so."
"Don't worry about me! You have to—"
"Cariño."
You blinked, casting your gaze back over to the other Miles—who now stood much closer to you than before. He was just an arm's length away, in fact, how did you not notice him approach you?
"Mi vida, oh Y/N..." his voice was soft as he spoke—quiet and coated in an emotion you were unfamiliar with—hand moving up to your cheek to gently trace a cold, steel claw over it.
"Hey!" The sound of metal chains clicking grew more frantic from behind him. "Stay away from her! Don't you dare hurt her!"
Either the Miles in front of you was ignoring your friend on purpose, or he genuinely didn't hear him, because he continued to do as he was doing—continued to give you shivers from the icy material against your cheek.
Then, all too suddenly, he flew into your torso, engulfing you in a hug so tight—so inextricably emotional—you stumbled back a little from the sheer intensity of it all.
"You're alive..." he breathed out—and it was then that you finally understood what the tone of his voice was. "You're really, truly alive. Oh mi cariño, I've missed you so much."
"Wha—?"
"Lo siento... lo siento." He buried his face into the crook of your neck and the surface of your skin slowly grew wet, your collar soaking up. "I didn't get there in time, I couldn't save you."
You and your Miles shared a glance.
You saw your reflection in his eyes; the look of shock on his face; the scenes that flashed through his pupils. You saw a fear in him, one unlike anything you had ever seen before.
You saw your near-death experience replay right before him.
"Te quiero—" the other Miles—the one holding you—grounded you once more with his words as he pulled away just enough to look you in the eyes and continue, "—you know that, right? I'm so sorry for not saying it before. If you hadn't— if you never— I'm so sorry."
The phrase shocked you, sending an electric pulse down your spine and rendering you utterly immobile.
"I always have. For the longest time. It's always been you. It's always—only—ever been you."
If what he was saying was true... then—?
"Y/N!"
Suddenly, the metal against your hips was replaced by the familiar silky material you were used to; the one worn by your Miles.
"Miles," you breathed out, looking all around you to see the shattered glass that flew in the wind—scattering in all different directions as the warmth of the inside abandoned you.
"I'm gonna need you to hold on, okay?"
You nodded.
Then, you glanced behind him, catching sight of the familiar geometric mask of the Prowler—sharp claws out—coming in hot and fast and furious.
"Miles—!"
"I know, mami, I know. I need you to trust me for a minute, alright? You know I'll never let you get hurt."
You nodded once more, nails digging into his dark suit as you buried your face directly into his chest. You felt yourself flow through the air, swiftly moving as the wind worked against you, pushing back on your hair as though you were its worst enemy.
It was nice. It was fun. It was... bound to go wrong.
One moment, you were safe, all coddled up in Miles' arms as he swung through the sky—the next?—
—you were falling.
"Y/N!"
(Note: I feel like I need to address this because some people seem to be misunderstanding what I'm doing with Margo.
First of all, Margo is not AT ALL being mean in Bereavement. The whole of that fic is written in the Reader's perspective (and I'll prolly end up writing something in both Miles' perspective too) - this makes her an unreliable narrator so you can't trust the way the story is being told to you is 100% accurate to the true events.
At the start, the Reader is frustrated because she knows her best friend is stranded on another universe - this makes her unfairly take out her frustration on Margo when she thinks lines like 'who always seemed to have to say something every five seconds' (paraphrased).
Margo thus responds accordingly (as she should) and although she threatens to tell Miguel, she never actually would because she is legit one of the only real ones in the movie. So no, to those commenters that were accusing me of making her 'aggressive' cuz she was black - that is not what I'm doing at all. I am writing the Reader's perspective after just having lost her best friend.
Margo is the only one helping. She is literally being kind to the Reader. If anything, the Reader is the one being rude to her but again, that's because her best friend is missing which isn't an excuse but definitely an explanation.)
#miles morales#spider man: across the spider verse#spiderman atsv#across the spiderverse#female reader#miles morales x reader#earth 42 miles#42 miles morales#earth 42 miles x reader#earth 42 miles morales x reader#earth 42#miles morales prowler#earth 42 miles morales
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Gentle (LN4)
Summary: In which Y/n’s past is a little haunted, but Lando knows exactly how to make her understand she’s safe with him.
Warnings: verbal abuse, panic attack, sort of PTSD but not directly named
Note: i really like this one
Lando had always been known as a gentle soul. Whether that was with kids or animals or adults, he treated people with a certain level of mercy that was adored by many. That didn’t change with Y/n. In fact, it intensified.
She hadn’t had that much experience when it came to relationships. Only two boyfriends before meeting Lando and one of them only lasted two months while the other was abusive. Not physically, but verbally. Constantly tearing her down and stripping her of everything she deemed worthy about herself. She was so guarded, so quiet, that when Lando and her started dating he immediately assumed her last boyfriend hadn’t been the best. That idea was proven right when the two of them had their first fight and she had begged him to forgive her even though she had done nothing wrong.
Tears streaming down her face after his voice raised, she cried, “Lando, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I’m sorry. I’m-” Her voice gave out as Lando stared at her. The cowering of her shoulders and the avoidance of eye contact told him everything he needed to know.
He approached her with added caution, making sure she was comfortable with his actions to take her in his arms, “It’s okay, my love. It’s okay. This isn’t your fault. I’m sorry for scaring you. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He whispered as he pushed her head into his chest, rubbing over her hair softly.
He had sat with her like that for hours, holding her and reminding her that he wouldn’t ever take advantage of her in the way she had been before. Reminding her that she was safe with him.
—
The next time her past came to taunt them was a few months later. Y/n had leapt out of bed early in the morning to make breakfast for him, wanting nothing more to surprise the man she loved. However, that plan took a turn when she looked away from the pan and toaster for too long. Burnt toast and charcoaled bacon had her staring down in defeat. She had been trying to clean up the mess when he had woken up and walked in.
“What happened here?” He asked her. His tone wasn’t accusatory, actually it had been soft and concerned, but Y/n was taken back to two years before when she had messed up the dinner and her ex-boyfriend had come in, yelling about her incompetence and inability to do anything by herself.
“Nothing,” She shook her head, determined to protect herself from, in her mind, the inevitable lashing she would get for her innocent mistake.
Lando had come over, his hands running up and down her shaking arms, and coaxed the soapy pan out of her grasp, “Love, what’s wrong?”
Still, she didn’t clock his concern for her. Her eyes darted around before she choked out, “I accidentally burnt the toast and eggs when I was trying to make you breakfast. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been looking at my phone. I could have prevented this and now your kitchen smells bad. I’m so sorry. I can-”
His soft kiss against her hairline stopped her rambling, he already knew, “It’s okay, Y/n. Thank you for thinking of me. That’s all that matters.”
Her head dropped down to study the dish water, sad and disappointed in her mistake. If he wasn’t going to beat her up for it, she had been programmed to do it herself.
Lando knew this, and was extremely familiar with it when it came to her. He was an expert in the telltale signs of her dismay and overthinking. So, when he saw the way he started to lose her, he turned her around. Pushing the hair out of her face and giving her the sweetest smile, he reminded her, “Baby, it was an innocent mistake. People burn things all the time. Most people wouldn’t even make breakfast to begin with. You always say the thought’s what counts. That applies here too.”
Her body tanged around him, her arms wrapping around his waist and head snuggling into his chest, Y/n nodded lightly.
“I know,” She mumbled, “I just could’ve done better for you.”
Chuckling and pulling her head back softly to kiss her gently, Lando whispered, “You are and will always be enough for me just by yourself.”
—
Y/n was doing better. A year after the breakfast incident, she was thriving, realizing just how much Lando loved her for her. That was until she stumbled across a video from the deep depths of her camera roll. The video had been from a time when Chris, her ex, had been so verbally abusive that she was trying to get a restraining order against him. In order to do that, however, she needed proof and the only way to do that was to record him secretly when he went off on her. The poor girl had been alone in Lando’s apartment as he went out to grab groceries for their movie night when the sound came blasting through her speakers.
One swipe had it playing, “YOU STUPID BITCH! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”
Her small voice squeaked, “I just wanted to go out with my friends. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t stop, “AND TURN OFF YOUR LOCATION? FUCKING STUPID WHORE. WHAT WERE YOU DOING THEN? I BET HOOKING UP WITH SOME GUY IN THE BACK OF AN ALLEY LIKE THE DIRTY SLUT YOU ARE.”
Y/n could hear her own tears begin both in the video and in reality, “No, we were just at Paige’s house. We didn’t go out to a bar at all. I know how you feel about me doing that.”
His voice continued to dominate hers, “HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN’T LYING? HUH?”
She sighed, clearly exhausted, “I don’t know, Chris. I’m sorry.”
He scoffed, “Yeah, sounds about right. The whore can’t prove she wasn’t out fucking every guy she saw. God, you’re lucky to be with me. No one will ever want you.”
With that, the door was slamming shut and the video was ending, leaving a crying Y/n in its wake. Her whole body shaking, she felt the panic attack coming on as she threw her phone to the side and got up from bed. She tried to get to the kitchen, maybe grab water and physically force the rising emotions down, but she got halfway there when she fully broke down in the middle of the hallway. Gasping for air and sobbing by herself like she always had, Y/n clutched the side of the wall.
The sound of the door closing and feet coming to a halt echoed distantly through her ears. She knew it was Lando, but a part of her was still back there. In that house, in that relationship with a man that, if he had ever found her in the state she was in, would have laughed in her face and locked her away in a bedroom to figure it out herself.
Even so, Lando’s concerned face soothed her. His hands scooping her up and pulling her into his embrace, pleading with her to breathe.
“Baby, you’re okay. It’s okay. You’re here with me. Only me. Come back to me.” He whispered in her ear as he placed her hand on his heart, showing her the rhythm in which she needed to reach.
They stayed that way for a few moments as Y/n came back down to Earth. She didn’t need to tell him she had been triggered for him to know. He always knew.
His hands tangled in her hair, he smiled at his, now, calm girlfriend, “Welcome back, baby.”
Her smile was soft and weak, but there and that’s all that mattered to him.
“Thank you, Lan. I’m-” She began to say, but his kissing her interrupted her apology.
Pulling back, he drew small shapes on her cheekbones, “Remember, we don’t say that here unless you actually have something to be sorry for. Which is usually me.”
The two laughed together before he brought her back to his bed and laid with her, protecting her from the scary memories in her mind. The night went on, his hands caring for her in the way they always had, and it just reinforced the fact that Y/n was with the perfect man.
A gentle man.
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#mclaren#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagines#lando norris edit#lando norris#lando norris smut#lando norris fanfiction#lando norris x you
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❝Will you forsake me, my love? And the babe I carry?❞
[ You had made a mistake. A slip up. You had overlooked the extent of Otto Hightower and his greed. Now you must make it right... or pay in fire and blood. ]
[ +18 MDNI ] [ 5,504 ] [ series masterlist ]
| jacaerys velaryon x targaryen aunt-wife!reader (aegon's twin sister),
contains— canon divergence - manipulative reader— gets darkish but not yet dd:dne - targcest, angsty as fuck, pregnancy - nsfw: p & v sex, oral (male receiving) - no kings, no martyrs, no betas.
a/n— i... actually dunno how i got here tbh. thankfully, this isn't dead dove quite yet, but you, yes you, as jace's manipulative targ wife, almost did, girl, jfc. ahahaha! comments, reblogs & like at will, mwa! 💝
+ now that there is a second part, and a third part i'm plotting (uh huh), this is officially a series!! its v loosey goosey, but it'll have a masterlist so... it means it has a taglist! message me to be tagged 💝 & if there are any drabbles/blurbs you wanna see!! message me lmk!! i have so many thoughts about jacey & manipulative reader hehe
+ dividers by @danowh0re
The only warning you receive is the missive hastily made by your twin.
In his panic, Aegon's scrawl had been barely legible, but the cold sweat that shot through your spine at making sense of the text had you keening over; fingers over your mouth, a dangerous gurgle in your stomach.
The world tilts, the air sucks inward.
Fear... Cold, weightless fear, settles in your heart.
"Princess!" Your maid, Dyana, shrieks, hands grasping your elbows to prevent you from falling. She turns to the door. "Call the maestre back! Now!"
You shake your head rapidly. "No, no. No Ser Addam. I am alright."
"But princess—"
"No, Dyana, I am alright." But you are pale, and a thrum shakes through fingers, rattling your ribcage and trying to yank your heart out of your throat. You have to find your footing or all will be lost. You grab Dyanna's arms and she winces. "Tell me- the prince - where is he?"
"I'm not sure, princess, I can—"
"Quickly! We shan't lose precious more time."
You turn to Meera. You had invested in her from the early age you had taken her in from the orphanage. Loyalty, in its absolution, must be rewarded.
And ease for your own plans can be disguised as a reward.
She steps forward obediently, hands clasped behind her back like a soldier awaiting orders. She is nondescript with plain features, easily able to hide between other common folk; and no one, truly, looks at a maid.
"Go to the Sea Dragon Tower, wait on the Rookery for Johan. Only Johan, do you understand me? Keep the missive that I will dictate to you close to his heart, hidden, and he must depart immediately. Throw extra gold at the captain, I do not care. Meera, no other eyes must touch the paper I will send, tell him of the utter import such a thing. No other than another Spider. We cannot unravel further than this or we will start burning."
Meera's gaze darkens, her posture straightening. "Yes, your grace."
You grasp her hands, your mind whirring— so many plots, so many lies, in between them, he flashes in your mind; the dark hair, the warmth of his hand, the sweet, simpered smile and the flicker of rage that dances like a flame. In and out and calmed and wild.
Dutiful. A Perfect Son. A Beloved Prince. Your Lord Husband.
He flashes in between plans and unraveled lies. Along it, Aegon's missive, quickly written, panic seeping in every vowel.
Grandsire had gotten to Aemond's head. Went to Storm's End. Met Lucerys. They are calling him Kinslayer.
Your head is pounding. Kinslayer, Kinslayer, Kinslayer. It churns your stomach, dries your throat. Lucerys dead. Aemond beheaded. Jacaerys' rage. Rhaenyra's. Dark Sister in the Rogue Prince's hand. All your clever threads, your webs and tales, everything you have sacrificed to get here— they are unraveling, the lives you care about, your fondness and love — the fear has moulded and churned; the Stranger now haunting the skies, searching for names, trying to grasp for your neck.
Aemond, You, Aegon, Helaena, Alicent, Jaeheara, Jaehearys, Maelor—
Aemond, Aemond, Aemond.
Your baby brother. Marred and disfigured, dutiful and dedicated. Sarcastic and princely; dancing with you if you ask. Reading with him in the library. A flickering hearth, a kind eye, a protective arm.
Your baby brother, beheaded, gaping mouth and bloodred eye.
Justice spun and spun, but oh so corrupted when they had taken his eye and no name step forth to claim.
Disfigured, marred, and dead.
Focus, you think, your mouth moving, words spilling, plans stretching. Focus.
Otto Hightower must die. It is a pressing thought, digging into the centrefold of your mushy, wet brain. Pressing and pressing like a fever as words of instructions, orders, must be sent along one spider to another.
Your hand drifts to your stomach as Meera leaves, in her head the words that must reach King's Landing. That must pass only the cleverest of hands. Your hand curls, your fist tightens enough that blood clots and beads through crescent rings. Clever girl. Clever spider. You have to believe in Meera and the people under your hushed employ.
You have no choice. You have built your webs, you must trust your spiders.
Not when you can't even trust your own fucking blood.
It took a while to get your network going in Dragonstone. As soon as the smell of brimstone and dragon broached your nostrils, the plans for moving what you had started in Kings Landing became the forefront plan. There is only so much movement you can make in a board full of enemies; and with so many more things to do, you cannot be restrained.
People with stakes, with ambitions and wants of their own— be that money, a good future, a house with warmth and love — if you can provide it enough, dash it in enough kindness and care, people, like ants, could move mountains for you.
It took most of hyour life to have what you established in Kings Landing. Most of your free time— feiging afternoon teas, walks along the garden; young lady things that will not arouse suspicion, fit for a pious, devoted daughter of Alicent Hightower — was spent building and building webs.
Thankfully, as a Princess of the Realm— and as the future Heir's wife, the future Queen of the Seven Kingdoms (the title tingles and throbs, comes alive in gasps and winning hands) — you can have your pick of maids and lady in waitings here too. Connections are important, and Jacaerys did not bereaved you of choice.
In fact, he so encouraged you to make changes to Dragonstone as you so chose fit.
"You are my wife," he sighed, pressing kiss after kiss to the side of your head. When he was wrapped around you like this— arms around your torso, a finger, almost absentmindedly, rubbing just the underside of your breast, and the smell of him, boyish but smoky, like a fireplace and first kiss, swaying you to a rhythm he is fond of, absentminded almost — it reminded you of how Vermax oft like to wrap around small hills and large rocks. A dragon mimicking another dragon; a twin soul so connected.
He sighed again as you run your own fingers against the back of his palm, against the side of his head behind you. "You may do so as you wish," he finished, nuzzling further into you as if he wants no more than to become one with you, flesh and blood. An engorged monster of sorts.
"Just your wife?" you teased. The wedding had only been a few moons ago. The missive had been immediately sent to Kings Landing (under your orders, of course, your new husband none the wiser as he had preferred a few more days of just you), and before lunch, your hand on Jace's thigh, his eyes more than hungrily looking at your lips— Caraxes screech alongside Syrax' wing pattern shook the walls, demanding answers.
Jace had looked nervous for a second, not at all prepared to be facing his mother so soon, his Queen, and his stepfather... whose own daughter he was supposed to marry. Better prepared to face all of them in Kings Landing was his plan.
But you had grasped his hands, had mounted girlish excitement shining in your eyes (an expression so familiar to you to adopt that it so perfectly hides the sharp edges of your excitement; your smugness. It oft reminds you of Aemond)— and Jacaerys had melted.
"My Queen," he reimbursed. You turned as his hands cupped your face. Gentle, possessive in its own way. You sighed, eyes fluttering close with a small, satisfied smile on your lips. "My beautiful queen."
A Maiden in love is not a hard thing to emulate. And he does not make it hard to be.
On some days, you even think it will be easy to actually fall in love with him. You already do so feel his warmth for you permeate your own being. His attention is addicting for one; it is whole and preserving. He makes it known when he is looking at his lady mother, at Baela, his former betrothed (who had given you a meaningful eye when Rhaenyra and Daemon escorted you back to Kings Landing to face the rest of your consequences), and other ladies of the court versus when he is looking at you.
He does not hide his adoration. His so obvious desire.
When you reward him for his loyalty, for private little ticked boxes you keep for him— siding with you in arguments, defending you upon ugly whispers in the Keep, requesting from his mother, a more permanent residence of your own in Dragonstone, in the guise of newly wedded bliss to hide growing your connections far and wide (once Rhaenyra takes the throne, Jacaerys will be named Heir and Prince of Dragonstone; your spiders and people must reach each end of Westeros, and Dragonstone is the perfect central chatter) — you mount him and bask at the lust contorting his features, at his hands gripping your waist in a staccato rhythm of feeling and gasp, each harsh bounce of your hips sending you both to bliss. You feel him inside you so deeply, enjoy his eyes rolling back and exposing his neck for you to sink bruises on.
Most oft, he enjoys mounting you. And you like the alternative of his choice to be buried so deep you feel him in your throat; to hold you down and hold you close, telling you to keep your eyes open for him as you come undone again and again— time and practice can manage his newness to the act. His enthusiasm, both for the act and for you, definitely helps his case, and he is so fond of finding your pleasure, of leading you to the precipe, so addicted to your sounds and writhes.
"There? Is that it, little dragon?" he huffs against your mouth, so attentive as he held your wrist and watch as you gasp, your face twisting as he hits that point inside of you, that sweet, sweet spot of undeniable pleasure buried so deep within— that he laughs. Not meanly, but of pride as he pulls back and hits it again. More insistent. You mewl and scratch his back, your toes curling as you seek the pleasure he so enjoys insisting you into.
"I've found it again, didn't I?" Another snap of his hips, another cry of your lips. "I will fuck your sweetest spot until you- are- crying- my name in that sweet, sweet whine of yours, shall I?"
But it's not really a question privy to an answer, surely not by your own mouth but by your body, as he manhandles you easily and does not stop until you are a quivering, overstimulated mess against wet sheets.
Sometimes, when you can't help but reward him as soon as possible— so excited from his gallant display; the perfect King bowing to his wife — you drag him to shadowy corners and solemnly drop yourself on your knees, unlacing his breeches with deft precision. You place your hot mouth against his manhood, your eyes fluttering delicately, making him reach completion enough times that he is left with a dopey, simpleton of a smile afterward, a soft, chaste kiss against your your head, your nose, your lips. So tender to how he was fucking your mouth not but seconds ago.
"I love you," he whispers against hot skin and cool, salty air.
And it eases, every time he looks at you like that, holds like you that. His love is patient, sweet, kind, and devouring. It overflows and seeps into you that when you whisper back, just as soft, just as troublingly honest, "Avy jorrāelan, ñuha zaldrīzes, I love you, my dragon," the truth of them bleeds further and further into your heart.
Jacaerys.
A warm grief swells within you. Your hands twitch, flattening your grief beneath your chest, deep in your gut. Deep below. You fought hard to be here. You cannot lose him now.
Otto Hightower must die.
A cruel thought, a natural order. With your marriage to Jacaerys meant a relative peace, a truce. Moving to Dragonstone many moons was more than just to establish your position, your future. It was also for your darling sister to take better control of her position back in the centre of power, alongside her husband.
Aged well with a stronger alley who most would not dare defy— a vainglorious guard dog, really, one who isn't afraid to sic people with a mere nod from his master — more than evens out the playing field.
The Queen To Be is prospering. And in her prosper, meant your husband's position more than fulfilled. He was to be King, and with you as his Queen, his reign will want for not.
You should have known it would put Otto on defense, would panic and use your siblings and your poor, nervy mother, to move in unfeasible decisions.
Aegon had taken to calling him grandsire again. Aemond... Your spiders had told you that Lucerys was sent to Storm's End as no more than a casual reminder of Lord Borros' oath. Viserys was in no doubt in worse conditions than he had been the last time you or your husband had visited him. Rhaenyra was settling on her position, reminding the Great Houses which heir was meant to rise soon, so close to the changing of the guard.
And your little brother no doubt was moved in panic.
This was a slip up on your part. Once the King was dead, Otto Hightower would hold no cards; Rhaenyra would never take him as Lord Hand, and his daughter would no longer be a foreground of power. Rhaenyra has her heir. The winning hand is more than ensured on her part.
His only move would be an usurpation, and would ruin your chance at being Queen... it was a good move. Your twin was not made for duty whilst you craved it. He knows you better than you know yourself; you will not be played in his palm. You would be useless to him.
"I should have killed him," you murmur to yourself.
Yna, the last maid in your arsenal, steps forward. She is the youngest of your main three wards, and the newest. She is still learning her letters, but she is young and always eager to serve.
"My lady?"
"I am going to find the prince. Whatever happens, tell them Vermax must not leave with his rider. Make up any excuse you must. My husband must stay in Dragonstone until I say otherwise." You raise your chin, tone icy. "Anyone who dares to defy my orders will be beheaded."
"At once, princess."
Your steps are measured, your breath held between lie and tongue. So many pretty rings on your fingers, twisting and twisting at the idea of the confrontation plagues you.
But you raise your chin. You will not be defeated. All is not lost.
Dyanna had caught you at Aegon's Garden, windblow hair and wide, fearful eyes.
You had braced yourself. "The Prince?"
"The Stone Drum, my princess, he is..."
"Angry," you supplied. She nodded jerkily. "Tell me everything."
"The Prince was talking with Ser Robert, was about the missive sent from Kings Landing says Kevan, not soon after your own." Another spider, one that follows most of your husband's movements. Unassuming and quick on his feet. A good soldier. "Prince Lucerys is alive but badly maimed." The breath you had withheld between grit and fright unrolled, the world slamming back into the ground in a giant's fitful wake. "He still hasn't woken up, says Arrax took most of the damage— one wing torn but is awake. Dunno about recovery for dragons, 'specially against Vhagar. Mournin' the prince, Kevan says. Makin' loud, sad dragon noises."
"But he is alive?" you pressed. Aemond's life hung in its balance. Your sweet, vengeful baby brother who bore his tragedies between muted teeth and rage.
"Yes."
"And Aemond?"
"No word in the missive or between them." It made your throat tight, the convulsion restraining your neck once more.
"It's fine. As long as there no mention of his death. Then that's all I need."
"My lady, there's more. There might be a reason we haven't been getting much word from King's Landing. Or Oldtown. It seems to connect is all."
Your pulse jumped. "Tell me later. I have to see to the prince. No one is allowed in Stone Drum for the time being. Not unless absolutely necessary." You think and you think hard. "Ready to call in a maestre."
Dyanna had looked alarmed when you left her, but you only gave a pensive smile. A soldier's nod.
He is bent over the Painted Table, shoulders so hunched, reminding you of monsters and tall tales. A dragon, really. He may not have Velaryon blood, your husband, but you— nor others — could deny the thrum of fire in his blood. Roiling and boiling, so engulf in his rage, his voice is quiet at the approach of your footsteps.
"You have bound me to Dragonstone," he says calmly with all the quiet rage you can hear in your very soul. It makes you shiver, but you stand resolute.
He is still turned away, away from you, palms flat on the surface. The iron brazier is lit up, and so is the Painted Table itself.
"Can you honestly tell me you won't try and kill my brother if I let you, ñuha valzȳrys my husband?" you say softly. You plead. His refusal to turn to you spikes your madness in corners. The night reaches and you finger your rings as you try not to spill all over the floor; your own madness, your own fears, your quiet, quiet webs. "Aren't you at least satisfied at the thought of your stepfather excelling at planting Dark Sister to his neck? At least cheery at the idea of him suffering inside those dungeons?"
He spins then, rage—white hot and spilling — breathes as he bellows, "He has harmed my brother!"
You calmly met his gaze. "You do not know that for sure."
He laughs without mirth, arms wide and daring. Crazed anger outlandish and wild, while in response you tighten and become small.
But you do not cower. No truth cowers. And you are a princess. A dragon the same as he.
Lest all, he is a mere husband.
"What else could it be? Your brother has called us bastards our entire lives," he spits. "Neither of us are blind to his dark looks. Despite your family's attempted plots, his rage beholds him. His grudge is stronger. He attacked Lucerys, on fucking dragonback— Arrax, a dragon Luke has barely flown against your brother's war dragon — and that makes him a kinslayer."
Your blood leaps, and you cannot control your own fear, your own anger. "Do not throw that word around so carelessly, Jacaerys! My brother has killed no kin!"
"He has tried, " he hisses and it makes your eyes burn because he has never looked at you so before. At his thunderous footsteps to reach you, to aggravate you, you fight the urge to flinch. His anger spills and spoils you. You try not to curdle. You keep yourself braced. Kinslayer is so ugly said aloud. "That is enough of a brand to call him kinslayer."
Your jaw tightens, tears unleashed from your eyes and there's a glimmer there— a spark, of your Jace. Your husband. It is small and short, a comet so faint it is almost nothing, but it is there.
He does not like to see you cry, your Jace. Not if it isn't from pleasure.
You raise your chin. "My brother is no kinslayer. Lucerys is alive. Do not make Aemond what he is not."
He laughs humourlessly against your face, his hand reaching for your jaw, thumb over your chin, but the mock gentleness wounds you worse. "And who has alerted you of the news? Your twin usurper?"
"W-what?" Blood rushes to your head. Something is missing. He knows. He knows about grandsire's plans. Dyanna would have said. Dyanna didn't know. "Aegon is not an usurper," you whisper, faint but firm.
His thumb rubs against your bottom lip, his eyes tracing your face. "Is this the plan all along, then?" he says softly. "While your brother and grandsire plot to usurp the throne from my mother, and your younger brothers raise bannermen from Oldtown to Storm's End, and try to kill my own when they get the chance, I suppose your job is to warm my bed and to ensure I'm out of the fray before you kill me in my—"
His words stutter for you have slapped him. It is not the hardest move on your part, and he stops not from pain but from shock. Tears freely flow down your face now as you push him off you.
"I know nothing of these plots you speak of." That in much is true. These plots are half-assed. Made in panic and fear, and it makes you curse Otto Hightower to the depths of further Hell. "And you may bully me as you wish, husband, but I will not take it as if it does not hurt me. As if- as if I would take pleasure from your death."
He raises his chin, so defiant in his own anger that he clenches his jaw. "Are you telling me you took no part in your grandsire's plans?"
"We have been married for many moons now. I think, out of anyone on this island, amongst our family even, you would know me best. I have only ever truly bloomed in your presence," you say softly. Lies and truths are balanced so precariously; they spin and spin in a tantalising grip that even you don't know where fabrication meets honesty.
If your own lies befuddle you, why not your truths to him?
"If you are doubting me, then you are doubting our marriage, is it not?" You give a mirthless laugh of your own, chin wobbling as you brush your tears away. His eyes track your movements and his brows are furrowed. "Is it ease, that has turned you so from me? Has your doubt been seeded long before you took us to Dragonstone? To affirm your mother that you have wedded me? Yes, Aegon sent me a missive a mere hour ago. He says Aemond had been urged by our grandsire, no doubt played with as he had done so to our mother, as he tries with Aegon. With me."
Jacaerys' eyes darken. Bottomless pits of dark, dark eyes. You've grown to love them you realised.
"I will give you all the violet-eyed heirs you desire," you had purred once in your new marriage bed, having just christened (one to a few times) your new marital chambers in Dragonstone. "But I do so wish I get a babe with your eyes."
"They are hardly exemplary," Jace had said, snorting. His hand rested on your back while you rest on top of him. The air is acrid in sweat and sex, but neither of you mind. "They are not a show of Valyrian blood."
"Who cares?" You reached to dance your finger against his lashes. "A daughter with your eyes... I fear, I would spoil her rotten. She would be an absolute beauty."
"Are you calling me a beauty?" he teased, trying to hide his rosy cheeks.
"Your eyes, yes," you teased back.
"If I was such a pawn to him," you say now. "If I was using you as you so callously accused me of, why would I bother with a marriage with you? You are right, they have accused you of not being a trueborn Velaryon—" He flinches. "—So why would Otto decide marrying you was a good idea at all? Any babes I carry would be questioned, and it would serve no benefit at all if the main plot was Aegon usurping the throne. To keep you entertained? Hardly. It would serve him better, as was his earlier plan, if I had married Aegon myself."
He loses his stance, a grit in his teeth gives you way to a slow curl of possession. A renewed sense of anger. His fists clenched at his sides.
You found a thread. You don't just unspool, you decide, you will yank, and you will yank hard.
"Aegon is a firstborn male heir, even as twins. It made sense to anyone who understood Targaryen customs that marrying us would be the natural order. It did not matter any past transgressions he may have had, I keep him better. I am his tether to this world. It was obvious to anybody with eyes that if we were to marry, we would breed good Valyrian stock, our children—"
But he has lurched forward, grasping your face, seething, angry at an idea, at a diverted road.
"He wanted us to marry," you continue, a snake's hiss that it is. "But your mother sent a missive asking for Helaena's hand, and I had already told her I wanted someone else. I wanted you." You grasp his leather, pulling him to you in equal ferocity. Madness meeting a mirror. "From the very start, grandsire could not control me for my blood sung for you. I had done my very best to free my siblings from him, resigned myself to be their forever protector inside that Keep with no real power of my own, but when the Gods gave me the chance to have you, I had been selfish. I abandoned them for you. Because I wanted to be yours for a night, I was willing to have that, if it is the only moment you will grant me."
You are crying again, and lies are spinning with their truths, golden and bloodstained, but you are cracking him.
"But it was you, Jacaerys Velaryon, who had asked for my hand. You wanted to marry, whisk us away to Dragonstone, and I love you too much to blind myself to the idea of becoming your wife would not be a totally selfish act, for what act of ours would be considered selfish if it was borne out of love?" you sob hard, grasping and reaching against him, trying to shake and ruin him. "I thought you loved me, and yet here you are, accusing me of plotting? What? Usurping your mother? Killing you in your godsdamned sleep?"
"Wife, I—"
"No. I am sorry for what happened to Lucerys. But if it is vengeance that is truly what you seek, and in the morrow my brother," my choke out. "My brother would be announced d-dead, I would rather you kill me now for it seems I have not only failed them from my grandsire's clutches, I have also failed at being your wife."
Your hands reach in and pull his dagger out, and he is instinctive, a true swordsman, holding onto the dagger before your own. But you do not give up. You yank him forward so suddenly, the dagger now positioned over your heart.
You keep him there, defiant as you are. As no true dragon is afraid of metal. Metal melt in the face of dragonfire.
The tip of his dagger deepens against your skin as war rages in his own mind. Truths and lies spinning and spinning in his head, but your thread— your thread is Hightower green clung in blood and gold — and it's the brightest, twisting beneath his lids and rage. Rage and grief, the tethering madness is spilling, trying to break into the dragon's clutches—
But your Jace is strong. He holds it at bay with a fury.
It is love, it is love, it is love.
But you are not sure. And you have to be.
You have been betrayed already, your Jace cannot betray you. If you are to have a future with him as King, there must be no doubts.
You step forward, letting the blade sink against your skin. It draws blood. A few beads bloom and slide. Thick red in a string or two. It makes his jaw tighten, and you feel, almost impercibly, the strain in his hand give.
That flash of panic, panic bathed in love, in adoration, is all you need.
You grasp his hands in yours, blade nestled between two grips now, and he gasps, thinking you were going to push him away finally, but no. You hold on tight to his hands, nails digging into his skin, keeping the blade where it is before you push forward once more. The tip sinks into your flesh, blood gushes as pain explodes.
"What are you doing!? Let go!" he roars, but you stare at his eyes, brown, so pretty, framed in featherlight lashes, did he even know there are violet flecks in his eyes?
You will not harm me, you think. You realise. For you have given yourself to me body and soul. Even the Gods know.
"Will you forsake me, husband?" your voice is no higher than a whisper, than a wind's hum. It is hollow and cracking. A siren song. In the silence, it is a whip cracking against petty flesh. Against a beating heart thrumming for you. "And the babe I carry?"
Before the words register in his brain, you yank his hands again with every strength you can muster, the dagger, to hover over your stomach. Your Jace roars, pulling with his entire strength as complete fear in floods his beautiful, brown eyes. The strength propels your force of gravity, and you fall with a hard thud. The dagger is flung in the second as he reaches for you, cold-curdled terror ruining his face as he tries to make sense of where to touch you.
The fall is hard enough that you wince. And your instincts, new as it is, is to curl your hands protectively over your stomach.
"M-my heart? Does it hurt? I-I am so sorry, I-A MAESTRE, CALL A MAESTRE FOR THE PRINCESS NOW!"
Your child is strong, you have always known that in your heart.
The second you held suspicion, pressing against the tender flesh of your breast to the nausea that kicked in out of nowhere, before Maestre Gerardys had confirmed: you are with child. Your firstborn. The heir of heirs. You could not wait to meet him.
"I hope it is a boy," you murmur weakly into the darkened space of your chambers. You don't turn as Jacaerys' head snaps, his hands over your own, sat on a chair by your bedside. Relief, guilt, fear breaks and crashes in waves against him, trying to nudge you, but you don't look. You stare from your position on the bed; forward and into nothingness.
"My love," he breathes, hands against your own warm and tight. "I am so, so sorry. I shall call for a maestre—"
"No need." Your other hand moves to your stomach. An emotion glimmers in his gaze at the movement. "My babe is strong. Blood of the dragon that he is. I know him already in my blood. Call for my maid instead. Any of them. Tell them to move my things to a different room, perhaps the one above Aegon's Garden. By morn, I will fly to Kings Landing to be with my family."
Panic fills and breaks. His hold tightens. "I-If that is what you wish, we can go as soon as Maestre Gerardys says it is alright for you and the—"
You turn to him, finally, your eyes dead of emotion. "I will go for I do not think you would like your would-be murderer to sleep beside you, haunting you with a dagger. This way, I can take advice from my mother about births and the like, and you can sleep comfortably. Do not worry, I will not poison you to your child's mind. You may visit him as you would like. You might even take comfort in knowing your mother would look for him as if he were hers. She is so very motherly, I'm sure she would enjoy a grand..."
Your words drift off as he had fallen to his knees, tears soaking your hand as he presses it to his face. You feel like the Mother, looking down on a penitent. Or the Father. Or the Stranger. You feel complete, as his apologies fall in graceless, shaky exhales and sobs. The axe is in your hand. His neck is exposed.
"—I will do anything, a-anything for your f-forgiveness. Y-You can move rooms if it comforts you, I will not s-shadow your doorway, but please. Please. Do not leave me. Anything. I will do anything."
You, and you alone, is the owner of his absolution.
You smile, despite yourself.
Maybe you should reward your grandsire after all.
TAGGED (bold means I couldn't tag you: @inkareds @marihoneywk @caterina-caterina @ahristata
#jacaerys velaryon fanfiction#jacaerys angst#hotd angst#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jace velaryon x you#jacaerys velaryon x you#jacaerys velaryon angst#jacaerys smut#hotd smut#manipulative reader#elle writes !! ꒱ ↷˗ˏˋ🍒
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pairing ; boyfriendsyoungerbrother!jake x afab!reader
sypnosis ; your boyfriend had a younger brother. yeah, you knew that, he was only 2 years younger than you. you see him whenever you and your boyfriend decide to hang out at his house. his name is jake. you were sort of ‘interested’ in him when you found out you both actually had a lot in common than you and his brother but you shook it off since you have a boyfriend. so then, what do you do when he suggests something a little dirty in a silly, little bet?
warnings ; none this is the intro.
genre ; 18+
wc ; 1153
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INTRO
your boyfriend had talked about his younger brother a few times, sometimes about how distant they were since it was only a one year age gap or how annoying he was the other day. your boyfriend always vented to you about him so you’d thought that he would be a really aggravating and disgusting person when you met him but in reality… he wasn’t. he was actually the opposite. a pure gentleman.
you first saw him when you arrived at your boyfriends house since you guys planned for a sleepover at his place. you knocked on the front door and a boy with messy blonde hair that was dyed opened the door. his eyes immediately formed into crescents when he smiled at you.
you smiled back awkwardly, not knowing who this was.
“you’re ___’s girlfriend, i’m assuming?” he smiled, bringing his hand in front of yours to shake then gesturing you to come in.
“um, yeah..” you replied, laughing nervously as you came in. you don’t know what had gotten into you but his brother was very attractive and his presence was very alluring. you shook that thought off quickly since you couldn’t be thinking like that. he offered to get you some water which you accepted and told you to get comfortable on the sofa.
that was your first ever encounter with him before your boyfriend came downstairs to steal you away from him.
your second encounter was when you came over again for a sleepover but your boyfriend had gone out to buy some errands. to get rid of the awkwardness in the air, he suggested to play some of his nintendo games with you and you felt more relaxed being around him after seeing what he’s like. you spent a lot of time around him now whenever you arrived at your boyfriends house and he wasn’t there or when he invited you to play some games with him.
a couple of months had passed and your friendship with jake had grown since. your boyfriend didn’t mind that much since he’d seen how your friendship is with his brother multiple times and so paid little attention to it afterwards.
your younger sister forced you to come along to her boyfriend’s football game and jake was there. he was on the opposing team to your sister’s boyfriend. you guys had exchanged numbers after your second encounter since you both found out you had more in common than your own boyfriend and you.
“hey, ___! what are you doing here?” jake ran up to you when you were about to follow your sister to find some seats. he looked very charming, too charming that you were probably a bit pink, in his football uniform. you immediately shook that thought off, remembering he’s your boyfriends younger brother.
“my sister forced me to come here since her boyfriend is playing today.” you smiled, looking back to eye your sister quickly when you said that.
“aw, not for me?” he teased cheekily, gently budging your arm a bit as he said that with a teasing grin.
“your team might lose, jakey, her boyfriends team are really good and i mean it when i say really good.” you laughed, you never really paid much attention to the frequent teasing you guys did to each other, you thought it was just purely innocent.
“yeah? you wanna bet, noona?” he suggested, his eyes quickly flickered up and down as you folded your arms together, making your boobs push up which he loved. you didn’t notice.
“if you lose.. you have to.. prank call your brother about something. i’m still tryna think.” you said, you had the whole game to think about it so you weren’t that pressured plus it was only a little bet.
“fine, but if i win..” he trailed off, biting his bottom lip before looking you deeply in the eyes, making you slightly nervous.
“i get to fuck your tits, hm?” he smirked, looking too cocky now as if he knows he’s gonna win right away. you felt your face heating up as he said that. you didn’t hate the idea but.. what just happened to innocent jakey?
you hesitated before..
“a bit bold of you but sure. your team is gonna lose anyway.” you laughed again, maybe he was joking… but then again.. did you want that to be a joke?
the game was over and yeah. jake’s team won and your sister immediately ran to her boyfriend after the team had gotten dressed and whatnot, leaving you alone in the parking lot. your sister told you that she would be going to her boyfriends house since he was a bit sulky about losing a game.
your heart was pounding so loudly that you could hear it beating through your ears. you were so nervous about your bet with jake because you didn’t know if he was being serious or not. most importantly, what about his brother?
your boyfriend was a good guy with a good personality, he’s done nothing wrong to you but… he was a bit boring. maybe too boring. you guys also had nothing in common and…
your trail of thought had ended when you heard a very familiar voice behind you.
“aw, noona, you lost.” he chuckled from behind you, you turned around to be greeted with a jake who had a bag slung over one of his shoulders and his car keys in his right hand.
but, hey, this was probably only a one time thing and it’s not like he was actually gonna be fucking you. maybe he just hasn’t had sex in a while and needed a release. yeah… maybe it was that. or maybe you just wanted an excuse. but, you’d been thinking about what this moment would be like the whole game that it had turned you on and your panties were possibly soaked by now so…
“give me a ride to my house please, jakey.” you casually beamed, trying to not make it obvious that you had pulled your top down a little and this time you did notice his eyes move down and up again.
“fuck..” he muttered under his breath, immediately hurrying towards his car and unlocking it while you followed.
he drove to your house and since your parents were at work and your sister had gone over to comfort her sore loser of a boyfriend, the house was empty.
you quickly unlocked the front door and jake dropped all his belongings on the side and pinned you against the wall, not wanting to wait any longer. his lips roughly slamming against yours, desperate yet passionate. his tongue tangling with yours. he pulled away, trying to catch his breath, making eye contact with you while you did the same.
“you really wanna do this?” he breathlessly asked, his eyes digging into yours as he waited for an answer.
“mhm.” you nodded confidently.
#enhypen smut#kpop smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enha smut#enhypen x reader smut#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enha imagines#enhypen imagines#enha headcanons#sim jaeyun#sim jaeyun x reader#enhypen jake#sim jaeyun x female reader#enhypen jake x reader#enhypen jake x female reader#sim jaeyun smut#enhypen jake smut#jake x female reader#enhypen jake hard thoughts#enhypen jake hard hours#enhypen hard hours
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You don't know me 9
P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32
pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo
summary: you and chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.
warnings: mentions of a VERYYYYY toxic relationship!! There is a scene where Max grabs y/n’s wrist in a not so friendly way, but nothing progresses past that, if that bothers you pls skip that part!!!
Chris pov
"Mate are you alright?" Nate asked from beside me. I didn't look over at him, I just kept my hands gripped on the steering wheel and my eyes on the road. "Fine why" I said blankly. "You've barley said two words since we got in the car. I think I should get the title of being the angry one. We just lost regionals" Nate said looking at me.
I bit my lip, not responding. "Does it have something to do with you sitting with twinkle toes?" He asked after a few seconds. I looked over at him, glaring hard. His eyes widened. "Okay, not in the joking mood" He sighed leaning back.
"I thought I told you to stop calling her names like that" I said blankly. "What's got your panties in a twist mate?" He asked. I let out a deep breath. "She said she'd wished I'd leaned forward and I didn't" I stated. Nate went silent for a few seconds.
"What?" He asked causiosly. I sighed and looked over at him. "She said she'd wished I'd leaned forward and I didn't!" I said again. Nate just looked at me. "She says shit like that then she's walking off to find him" I said leaning back in my seat.
"So this is about the boyfriend?" Nate asked raising his eyebrows. "Yes” I snapped looking at him. “No" I sighed. "I don't know" I said shaking my head. Nate hummed. "So you actually like this girl don't you?" Nate asked smiling. I let out a breath. Sufficatingly yes. "No" I said with a straight face.
"I'm done talking about it" I said before he could respond. Nate sighed and leaned agaisnt the window. "Alright buddy" He sighed shaking his head, while my mind raced with a million thoughts.
Was that it? We will ever speak again after that? Does she want to stop seeing each other? Because I sure as hell don't, even though that's what I made it seem like. I sighed and leaned my head agaisnt the headrest.
y/n pov
I dropped my bag down by my feet as we walked into my room. I felt Max's hands come around me and kiss the side of my face as he kicked the door to my room closed. I turned my head, my stomach hurting from the guilt of Chris's words ringing in my head. The thoughts pouring through his head, was eating me alive.
I had feelings for him. I knew I did. That's why I needed to do this. I needed to create distance to resist temptation. I wasn't a cheater. I was not a cheater. I loved Max. But I didn't know about Max's past. I didn't know what he thought about. He didn't speak to me like Chris spoke to me. It wasn't fair. How was I suppose to end up with someone who I can't even have a simple conversation with about real life things? I felt more like myself with Chris than anyone else. I didn't want to lose him, but I had to.
Chris was better than me in every way, shape, and form. He deserved someone who wasn't like me. Someone who didn't have their whole life planned ahead of them. Someone who had a chance with a life with him. I didn't. I didn't have that and it wasn't fair to him or Max to look at him and pretend that I did have that. Because I didn't I never would. And I'm just now starting to realize that.
At every family dinner, every vacation, every event for the rest of my life--It would be with Max. While he took over my family business, holding my hand under the table as he spoke to important people with important thought, but never had a clue what was going on with me. He would never know, because he never asked. I'd be on a display case to him, just as my mother is to my father.
And that was my life. That's what it's always meant to be and I couldn't change that.
Max dipped his head further into my neck, biting marks. I pulled away from him. He furrowed his eyebrows as me as I walked over to my bed. "You need to shower" I stated looking away from him. He sighed and put his hands on his hip. "Babe come on, I just spent the entire day driving." He groaned. I looked over at him. Was I his mother? Convincing him to shower like he was an incompetent child?
"So that means you're gonna sleep in my bed all gross and sweaty?" I asked looking him. He glared at me. "Why are you talking to me like that?" He snapped looking at me. I stared at him, suddenly feeling my confidence dwindle beneath me.
"No seriously. What the fuck is up with you lately? I feel like you've just turned into a completely different person" He said walking up to me. I stared at the ground, looking away from his hard gaze.
"I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to--I just--" I almost whispered looking down at his feet. I glanced up at him. "I'm sorry about your game. I'm just tired, I didn't mean to take it out on you Max" I breathed looking at him. He let out a breath before stepping back shaking his head. I stepped forward. "Max, I really am sorry" I whispered. He clenched his jaw.
"You know-" He stated looking at me. "If I wanted my girlfriend to talk back to me, I would have dated Sydney" He glared at me. I just looked at him, horrible silence filling the air between us. "Yeah you just like me because I just sit here and take it right?" I mumbled under my breath. His head snapped to me.
"What did you say?" He asked stepping towards me. I looked up at him, his jaw hard as he stared at me. "Nothing Max. I said nothing" I said looking at him and attempting to walk past him, but he grabbed my wrist hard. I winced holding my arm up that his hand had a hard grip on. "Max" I breathed, fear filling my eyes as I looked up at him. "I asked you what you said" His eyes dark as he stared down at me. My heart was beating out of my chest. I fell slightly, attempting to pull myself out from his grip. I swallowed tears burning at the corner of my eyes.
"Max, you're hurting me" My voice broke as I looked up at him. He let out a hard breath before pushing me away from him, releasing his grip from me. I put my hand over my wrist as I looked up at a boy I barely recongized. He shook his head at me before walking over to my bathroom door. "I'm showering" He mumbled before turning around and looking at me.
"Fix that attitude before I get out" He said pointing at me. I swallowed as I looked at him and he turned pushing the door open and slamming it behind him, making me flinch. I looked down at my wrist, that was red. I rubbed my hand over it, as tears pooled at my eyes. I closed my eyes attempting to take in a breath.
"I like being your friend Y/n"
Chris's voice rang in my head.
I looked around and the only sounds were the sounds of leaves crushing beneath our feet as we walked.I heard a sound behind us and I grabbed Chris's arm with my other hand and pulled him close to me as we walked.
Memories flooding my brain.
I reached up wiping my eyes as I heard the shower turn on. I glanced towards the bathroom. It was nice imagining what life would be like with Chris. Really. It's what kept me awake at night. But it wasn't my life to have no matter how much I wanted it. I was too scared to break up with Max and my parent's would never forgive me. It was a lose-lose. But the more I thought about it. Would it be such a lose-lose if I had Chris? That I wasn't sure.
I looked away from the bathroom before changing into pajamas and wiping off my makeup, before crawling under my covers, not even bothering brushing my teeth. The faint taste of the green skittles still present across my teeth. I took in a breath as I laid against my pillows. Imagining it wasn't Max who was showering in my bathroom, but Chris instead.
Because like I said the only time I never felt guilty about Chris is when I thought of him in my own mind. My own thoughts. No one could read them. No one could guess them. They were only mine. One of the few things in the world that were exclusively mine.
I was almost asleep when I heard the shower turn off and Max step out into my room. I didn't move, I didn't open my eyes, I didn't do anything to indicate that I was awake. I heard him shifting through my drawers, many of his clothes in there for when he did spend the night. I just listened as I stared through my window as he changed. Wanting to jump out of the window, down my tree and run for dear life towards Chris's house.
But I couldn’t. That was it for us and I would do exactly what he expected of me.
“Don’t act like I’m not the one you don’t run to when shit gets bad for you”
I swallowed and closed my eyes.
I felt the cover being pulled up before Max slid in next to me, sighing. He wrapped his arms around me before kissing the side of my face. I didn't react.
"Are you sleeping baby?" He whispered quietly against my ear. I hummed. He ran his hand down my arm before sighing. "I'm sorry I got angry with you" He whispered. I didn’t say anything. He kissed my shoulder and laid his head against it.
"Have you thought any more about formal king and queen? My mom's been asking" He whispered. I just blinked in front of me, seeing the branches of my tree blowing in the wind.
"No" I whispered. He sighed wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. "Okay, well can you think on it?" He asked. I nodded, still staring out the window. He kissed the top of my head.
"I love you" He whispered. I swallowed, the burning coming back to my eyes. "I love you" I whispered back. He sighed pulling me even closer to him and holding me tightly.
-
I sat in the cafeteria at school. Sydney in front of me as she talked loudly to those around us. I stared forward, my eyes droopy, my face bare with no makeup, my hair frizzy. If I'm being honest I looked like shit. Cayden told me more than once today.
I couldn't find the energy to care. To care about how I looked or care about anything else. Because I didn't have Chris and it was my fault. I told him I needed distance because I wanted to be a good girlfriend. I thought that was being a good girlfriend, but now I felt more alone that I ever had to begin with even before Chris.
It's weird going your whole life not really realizing you had no one to talk to about your thoughts until you have it and you push it away. I guess it was my fault. I keep telling myself that I wasn't good for Chris away. He deserved someone better than me, but selfishly, I wanted to take him all for myself.
We hadn't spoken in almost a week and I felt like I had so many things to say and no one to talk to. Even with people surrounding me. It also didn't help that I had a perfect view of Nate and Chris. There had been moments of us running into each other in the hallway and then quickly turning away without speaking, looking at each other in the parking lot, even seeing him at one of Max's hockey practices. I couldn't even look at him and I hated myself for it. I missed my friend.
Forcing my eyes away from them, but that only helped for a few seconds before my eyes trailed to him again. He stared down at the table tapping his fingers as Nate spoke. His eyes moved up to meet mine. We just looked at each other for a second. Just a blank stare.
"Y/n"
Sydney's voice caught my attention. I looked over at her, raising my eyebrows. "Are you okay?" She said scanning my face. I nodded looking down at the plate in front of me, moving the food around me, not eating it. "Yeah" I whispered glancing up at her. She narrowed her eyes at me and then looked over at Max beside me. Max sighed before looking down at me and kissing the side of my face. I didn't react, my face straight as I stared at the table.
"Cheer up babe, do you feel sick?" He asked wrapping his arm around me. I looked up at him. "Yeah, a little" I whispered looking at him. "Go home, get some rest. I'll come over later to bring you some food. Sound good?" He smiled down at me. I nodded slowly before reaching down and grabbing my bag.
I maybe just needed some time alone to process everything. Breakups suck yeah, but friendship breakups almost hurt worse, especially one with Chris. Because now I feel like I had no one.
I pushed through the doors of the school, my backpack half-way hanging off my body as I hugged myself with my arms. I stared down at my feet. I didn't know how much longer I could do this before I broke. I missed him.
The thing about Chris is that he had Nate, he didn't need me. He had a perfectly good friend to listen to everything he thought about with no judgement whatsoever. I didn't. It wasn't fair. It was more of a loss for me to lose him and I still pushed him away. I sighed as I continued down the sidewalk, towards my house.
"Hey"
I jumped out of my skin from the noise of someone speaking. I hadn't even heard anyone walk up to me. I turned seeing Chris's blue eyes staring back at me wide. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" He said holding out his hands. I just blinked at him, slightly frozen as he stared down at me. I wish he would stop doing that.
He didn't seem angry anymore. The expression he wore was a little more worried than angry, which I didn't expect. With his reputation I expected him to be angry at me forever. He blinked down at me and I still didn't speak.
"You haven't been at my house in a few days" He stated looking down at me. I just looked at him my eyes trailing down his features all the way down to the lip ring that I missed so much.
I wanted to say everything, but instead I stood there and said nothing. I think i've said enough words the past week to count on two hands. Without Chris, I really didn't have anything to say. I was back to sitting there and nodding, agreeing, listening. And I fucking hated it.
"I guess I didn't think you were serious about the distance thing" He said taking in a breath due to my lack of response. I looked down at my shoes. I didn't either. These past few days have been hell. "But anyways-" he said making me look back up at him.
"Are you--" He paused looking at me. "Doing okay?" He almost whispered, as If he didn't know what to say next. I shrugged looking at him. "Yeah" I breathed. His eyes scanned my face, down to my outfit. "Are you..sure?" He asked obviously referring to my appearance. I swallowed turning my head to the side. Like I hadn't gotten enough shit from my boyfriend and my friends from how i've been looking lately.
I scoffed feeling tears come to my eyes.
"I get it Chris okay? I looked like shit" I said glaring up at him. He just watched me. "Someone write it on the damn skyline Y/n Labraut didn't curl her hair today or wear any makeup" I spat shaking my head, stepping back. "And oh god! Are those sweatpants?" I gasped as I looked down at the sweatpants I was wearing. He just let his fallen face stare back at me.
"I get enough shit from Max for not being perfect. I don't need you to remind me too Chris" I said shaking my head. He stepped forward. "You know that's not what I meant Y/n" He explained softly. I pursed my lips and shook my head. "Poor little y/n right?" I whispered narrowing my eyes at him.
"Her life's turned to shit and you expected me to run back to you huh?" I asked shaking my head. "Well maybe you were right" I mumbled. "I don't wanna be who everyone expect me to be" I said turning on my feet and walking away from him. But I heard his feet quickly behind me, then running back up next to me.
I ignored him and kept walking as he matched my pace and walked beside me, his gaze forwards as we walked. I finally glanced up at him and stopped. "What are you doing?" I asked shaking my head. "I'll walk you home" He said looking down at me. I shook my head. "I don't need you to walk me home" I stated harshly. He smiled down at me. My face hardened. Why was he smiling at me? He let out a breath looking down at me.
"I don't want to talk to you Chris" I breathed hardening my face at him. I did want to talk to him. All I've wanted the past week was to speak with him. I was angry, letting all of the words fall out of my mouth that I didn't mean. I don't remember the last time I got to be angry with someone. Not after what happened the last time when I talked back to Max. Chris took it, so I gave it to him. Even though he was the last person who deserved it.
"You don't have to talk" He said motioning to walk. I just blinked at him. "I just feel like right now you just need a friend" He whispered peering down at me with those impossible blue eyes.
I looked at him, my face pale from the lack of sleep, my eyes red and puffy from the hidden emotions, my body tense from the angry residing within me. All I needed was a friend.
I hung my head my lips shaking and closing my eyes. I hated that I was being mean to him. He didn't deserve it. If anyone in the entire world deserved it, he would be the last on the list.
He stepped forwards slightly, placing his hand on the back of my head and pulling me against him as the tears poured out of my eyes. I cried against him as his arms wrapped around me.
"I'm sorry I said those things to you y/n" He whispered as I cried. I shook my head against me. I just sat here and screamed at him and he was apologizing. Why did he know what to say all the fucking time? It wasn't fair. It's like he had a guide on how to do this imprinted in his brain and I was the one walking around with my eyes closed.
"I always want you to run back to me" He whispered so quietly, I almost didn't hear him.
I pulled back wiping the tears from under my eyes. He smiled down at me. "Sorry I look-" I said shaking my head wiping my eyes. "You always look pretty" He said cutting me off. I smiled and shook my head, letting out a breath. He placed his hand on my face motioning me in front of me.
"Come on, let's get you home" He said as we started to walk down the sidewalk. I sighed as I shut my mouth and we walked down the sidewalk towards my house.
The cold hair hitting my tore up face from crying, felt good refreshing. Chris didn't speak while we walked, like he promised. I stayed silent as we walked as well. I had nothing left to say. I wanted to apologize but I had nothing left in my throat to say.
So instead I just leaned into him, grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers. As an apology without saying it. I didn't look up at him, but I felt him squeeze my hand back as If to say. It's okay. We walked like that, the rest of the way home in silence.
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Thot of the day: reader is obsessed with Eddie's lips, she has the biggest fattest crush on him, maybe he's a costumer in her cafe, they often speak/flirt and she watches him greedily, thinking about what those lips could do on her. She often fantasizes about making him sucking her fingers while she rides him. Well, she's determined to make him hers 🫠
Combined with this anon req:
Hello hello hello! I love your blog! may I please request a little smutty thing of Eddie losing his mind over fem reader having a tongue piercing when she's going down on him?
I took some liberties and made some changes so Eddie is more subby; hope that's okay!
Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI!), oral (m! and f! receiving), unprotected p in v (wrap it up pls), teeny mention of breeding kink, subby!Eddie
WC: 2.5k
--
Eddie hadn’t even meant to meet you.
He’d only stumbled into the café in a feeble attempt to get out of the pouring rain after the wind snapped his umbrella inside out. The goal was to get to the nearest McDonald’s for lunch, since he’d forgotten his sandwich at home, but the weather had other plans.
“Shit shit shit,” he’d muttered, shaking out the umbrella haphazardly before giving up and chucking it in the trash. There was no way he was walking anywhere else, so he wiped his hands on his jeans—which were now stuck to his thighs—and approached the counter to get a better look at the menu.
“What can I get for you?” A voice greeted him, coming out from behind the espresso machine. You gave him a small smile as you grabbed a notepad to jot down his order.
“Um,” Eddie’s full attention was on you, rather than his food options. “Do you serve coffee here?”
You gestured at the bags of coffee beans lining the counter. “What gave it away?” you’d asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
He could smack himself—it’s a café, of course there’s coffee. “I mean, I’ll have a large coffee, cream and sugar.” That’s what Wayne gets whenever they go to the diner, so he chooses the same.
“Mhm,” you hummed, raising your eyebrows. “Anything to eat?” You pointed to the small chalkboard hanging behind you. “If you need help sounding out any of the words, let me know.”
Eddie’s eyes widened. “Are you calling me dumb?” he’d balked. “What kind of customer service is this?” But he was smiling, and his silly, overly dramatic nature had you giggling.
That’s when he saw it.
The black stud, perfectly adorning the center of your tongue. It flicked against your teeth as you’d told him, “the chicken pesto panini is my favorite.” There was no response from the curly-haired metalhead before you. You’d squinted slightly, waving your hand in front of his face. “Hello? You good?”
“Wha—oh, yeah,” he’d stammered bashfully, breaking from his trance. “I’ll have that, then. The, uh, the chicken thing.”
“So, one coffee and one chicken thing?” you’d teased him. “And who’s this for?”
Eddie furrows his brows in confusion. “It’s for me?” It comes out as a question.
“And does ‘me’ have a name?” You laughed again. He didn’t even care that you were laughing at him, not with him. He’d say or do nearly anything to get a glimpse of your tongue and that godforsaken piercing.
“Oh, uh, Eddie. Eddie is my name,” he says lamely.
“Eddie. Got it.” You’d written his name on the side of the Styrofoam cup in permanent marker. He’d felt himself stiffen against his zipper when you’d said his name aloud. He wanted to hear you moan it, scream it, over and over.
From that moment on, Eddie is totally smitten. He stops by the café for his coffee every morning on his way to work at the record store. The burgeoning caffeine addiction is worth getting to talk to you for just a few seconds.
After a week of flustered half-conversations, he finally works up the nerve to ask you an actual question.
“Are you from around here? Like, from Hawkins?” It’s clunky and awkward, but it’s a start.
“Kinda?” You chuckle at his puzzled expression. “I lived here until my parents divorced when I was fourteen, right before I started high school. Then I went to live with my dad in Chicago until I started college last year.”
“That’s cool–I mean, it’s not cool that your parents split up, that sucks, but it’s cool that you lived in Chicago and go to college and stuff.” Good God, stop talking, Eddie wills himself, practically clamping his lips shut in an attempt to cut off his babbling. “What brings you back?”
You give an exasperated sigh. “My mom insisted I spend the summer with her; she wants to ‘reconcile our misgivings’ or whatever bullshit line Oprah fed her.” Eddie takes note of your eye roll when you speak about your mother. “So she set me up with this job while she drags me to family therapy once a week.” You pull a cup from the pile in front of you. “Your usual?”
“Yeah,” he says distractedly, trying to find another topic to keep the conversation from ending. “Where do you go to college?”
Your smile melts him, and he has to grip the counter to keep his knees from buckling. “The Pratt Institute. It’s in New York City,” you elaborate.
Eddie’s jaw drops. “No fuckin’ way!” he exclaims. “I’ve always wanted to go to New York, but to actually live there? That’s fuckin’ awesome!”
“My mom wasn’t thrilled,” you confess through gritted teeth. “She never liked that I wanted to pursue art as a career. It was always, ‘make it a hobby so you can get a real job.’” You slide his cup towards him. “It’s like, she disapproves of everything that I do: what I study, friends I hang out with, people I’ve dated.”
“Are you seeing anyone now?” The question spills out before he can think it through, hoping you don’t pick up on his eagerness.
You shake your head. “Single as ever,” you reply chipperly. “Why, you putting in an application?” Your tongue sneaks past your teeth, just enough to show off the piercing.
A blush creeps into Eddie’s cheeks at your proposition. “Maybe? If you’re interested? If not, I can just pay for my coffee and go.”
You tilt your head, musing his proposition. “I’d be lying if I said I was looking for something serious right now,” you begin, watching his shoulder sag dejectedly, “but my boss doesn’t get here for another hour, if you wanna fool around in the back?”
Eddie’s eyes almost pop out of his head. “You wanna fool around…with me?” He doesn’t wait for your response as he hoists himself over the counter, knocking over the stack of cups and the basket of sugar packets. “I’ll clean that up later,” he mumbles, dragging you to the door marked “employees only.”
His hands are relentless, like he can’t decide where to put them first. First, he cups your cheeks as he presses his lips to yours, but determines that that’s too intimate for the occasion. He brings his palms up your shirt, messily groping at your tits through your bra. “S’perfect,” he growls as he bites your neck. You can feel him twitching in his jeans, and you grind up against him. The groan that leaves his mouth is downright pornographic.
Your tongues intertwine as he pushes you against the door. He tastes like stale cigarettes and the sip of coffee he just had. His knee instinctively slips between your legs, angled perfectly for you to rub yourself on it.
“You ever get head from someone with a tongue piercing before?” When he shakes his head dumbly, you take the opportunity to continue taunting him. “Oh, sweet boy; have you ever gotten head from anyone before?”
“N-No,” Eddie admits. “But I’d like to change that.”
You giggle at his candid confession, fingers toying with his belt buckle. He hisses at the mere brush of your hands against his clothed erection. Pulling his pants and boxers down as you drop to your knees, you watch in awe as his thick cock smacks against his stomach, leaving a pre-cum stain on his Dio shirt. “Damn, these Hawkins girls don’t know what they’re missing,” you tell him. You lean over, spitting on his pink tip and collecting the saliva back in your mouth as you lick up his shaft.
The piercing feels like absolute heaven on the ridges of his dick. You trace along the vein as you take as much of him in your mouth as you can. He’s huge.
“Holy shit, holy fuckin’ shit,” Eddie breathes, digging his ringed fingers into your hair. “Please keep going, please please please.”
Never one to turn down the chance to torture, you let go of his cock with a pop. “What was that, baby?” You give a mischievous smirk.
Eddie looks like he’s about to cry at the loss of contact. “No, don’t stop; need you,” he whines, jutting out his lower lip reflexively.
“Well, why didn’t you just say so?” You take him back in your mouth, sucking him off while playing with his balls. He’s not expecting that, and he bucks his hips into you, making you gag.
“‘M sorry,” he whispers, pulling back slightly to let you breathe. “Didn’t mean to…” He spins a ring on his finger anxiously.
“Maybe I like choking on you,” you murmur, grasping his softening length in your lithe fingers and pumping it, watching it stiffen in your hand. “You know what else I’d like?” He hums his response. “I’d like you to cum in my mouth. Y’think you can do that for me?”
You’re shocked when he shakes his head no. “I don’t wanna cum yet,” he mumbles, hoping you’ll get the hint. “Tryna hold out so, y’know…”
You lick your lips and sneer. “Honey, I bet you can get it back up in under five minutes, if that.” Swirling your tongue over his angry red tip, and grabbing his thighs, you bring him to his climax. He spills into your mouth, moaning your name so loudly you’re worried a rogue customer might hear.
Eddie gently withdraws, and you part your lips to show him his cum on your tongue. The black stud makes the perfect centerpiece as you swallow his load.
A string of his cum lingers on your pointer and middle fingers. You consider it for a moment before bringing it to his lips. “You should taste yourself, Eddie,” you murmur. “Taste s’fucking good.” He opens his mouth obediently, sucking on your fingers harshly. His tongue tickles against them, and you shiver.
“You’re…oh my God,” he manages. “Is it too forward to say that you’re perfect?”
“I don’t care what you say, as long as you fuck me right now,” you growl into his ear. You can’t act like he’s the only needy one any longer. Ever since he’d walked into the café, drenched from the rain, you’d wanted him. Wanted his soft, pillowy lips on yours. Wanted him to sink his teeth into your skin until he left marks. Wanted him inside you, filling you up completely.
He nods his head, but the rest of his body seems to freeze in place. He snaps out of it as you bring his hands to the button on your skirt, quickly using his thick fingers to strip you of it and revealing black lace underwear. He practically falls to his knees, kissing your wet pussy through the cloth.
“You’re fucking soaked.” Eddie can’t hide the awe in his voice, tugging at the fabric so roughly that it rips. “Oh, shit. ‘M sorry.”
“No, that was really hot,” you tell him breathlessly, mindlessly bringing your middle finger to your throbbing clit. Eddie pushes it away, running his tongue along your folds. He’s eager but timid, so you encourage him. “Fuck me with your tongue, baby. Oh, that’s it—right there,” you wail as he finds your hole. His thumb is rubbing frantic circles on your sensitive bud, not stopping until you cum so hard, your toes curl.
“Fuck—yes—Eddie—I’m coming—f’you,” you manage, throwing your head back and biting your fist to muffle your screams. Sweat drips down the side of Eddie’s neck. “Worked so hard for me, didn’t you?” you coo, resuming your dominance. “C’mere; you ready to cum again?” His boner speaks for itself, twitching up against him.
You lean your stomach against the cool countertop, mentally reminding yourself to sanitize it tonight. “‘S not ideal, but it’ll do,” you say. A lot of people want their first time to be in a bed, or on a beach, gazing lovingly into their partner’s eyes. Well, Eddie Munson was going to lose his virginity by fucking you from behind in the café kitchen, but you doubt he’s complaining.
“I d-don’t have, um, protection.” He winces at his awkwardness, massaging the nape of his neck.
“Relax. I’m on the pill.” When he shoots you a dubious glance, you laugh. “Do I look like I wanna have your babies?” His eyebrows raise at the thought of it. “Oookay, we’ll unpack that another time. For right now, for the love of God, put your dick inside me.”
“Yes ma’am.” Eddie sets himself behind you, sliding into your waiting pussy. “So tight; takin’ me so good.” He pinches his face together in ecstasy.
You press your palms into the counter. “Harder. I l-like it rough.” He takes direction well, pistoning into you and grabbing your ponytail. “Yes, Eddie. Pull my hair. Fucking yank it.” You clench around his length as you feel the familiar strain on your scalp.
“Can’t—hold—out,” Eddie groans. He wants to make you cum again, but his orgasm is just too close, and he finds himself spilling into you for the second time today. “Thassit. Take it. Take my cum, just like that.” He keeps thrusting even as he gets softer, fucking his seed into you. When he comes down from the high, he’s immediately embarrassed. “You didn’t get to—”
But he’s interrupted by the sound of the bell jingling, signaling an incoming customer. “Y/N? Where are you, dear?” a voice calls out.
Eddie knows that voice. He knows it all too well.
You roll your eyes. “Ugh, my mom’s here. I forgot she said she was gonna visit me at work today.” You pull your skirt back up to your waist, fasten it quickly, and secure your hair back in its tie.
Your…mom? But that sounded like…
Without thinking, Eddie follows you, adjusting himself and fixing his belt as he walks. There’s no way…
“Edward? I didn’t know you worked here with my daughter!”
You turn to Eddie, confused. “How do you know my mom?”
But the older woman answers for him. “Oh, we know each other very well. Mr. Munson took English with me three times over. Isn’t that correct?”
“Yes, Mrs. O’Donnell,” he replies miserably. “But I finally graduated this year.”
“And thank God for that,” Mrs. O’Donnell scoffs. “Do me a favor and stay away from my daughter. She doesn’t need any more bad influences in her life.”
Something comes over Eddie—maybe it’s his pure rage towards his former teacher; maybe it’s the confidence he feels from losing his virginity—but he steps closer to you and grabs your ass through your skirt. “Not a problem. I think my work here is done, anyway.”
Mrs. O’Donnell practically faints on the spot. “What—what do you—oh, for heaven’s sake, please don’t tell me you two are dating.”
“Oh, no, we’re not dating,” you smirk, waiting for her to relax before dropping the bomb: “We’re just sleeping together.”
Eddie grins, leaning over to kiss you possessively. “See you tomorrow? Same time and place?” He winks at Mrs. O’Donnell, still in shock from your blunt admission. “Don’t worry; I passed sex ed the first time.”
--
#eddie munson#eddie x reader#eddie stranger things#eddie x you#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x f!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie munson stranger things#stranger things fanfic#stranger things#eddie munson fanfic#fanfic#requests
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Give You Blue
Chapter 4: Alone Together
Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)
Rating: Explicit (for mature content)
cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), angst, language, a bit of fluff
Word Count: ~5.7k
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Summary: You and Annie attend a dinner at the Mu Phi sorority house on campus. Reiner, on his way out of Delta Delta, ambushes you on the walk back to your dorm for a less than pleasant conversation. Later that week, RA Eren hosts a game-night for his fellow residents. But, with it being on a Friday right after midterms, he's disappointed when it flops. Fortunately, someone comes to his rescue. Author’s Notes: Hope you enjoy this one! Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. Please let me know what you think, I thrive off of reading your comments! If you want to be tagged in any future chapters, please let me know! Divider created by @/mikeykuns.
“Eren, are you paying attention?”
Armin waves his hands in front of his friend’s face, snapping Eren out of whatever reverie he’s stuck in. He shakes his head slightly, grinning. “Sorry, Armin. Sort of zoned out for a minute there.” They sit next to each other on Eren’s bed, watching a movie on his laptop. It’s Saturday night, and Eren actually agreed to be social today.
Armin taps on the space bar, pausing the film. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?”
The real answer is no, but with Armin, he’ll only worry if he knows the truth. “Plenty. All eight hours,” Eren lies. In reality, he’s getting four hours tops. He stays up late studying, then spends the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed, anxious about the future.
Oblivious, Armin responds happily. “Good! Living by yourself is already paying off. Sometimes I wish I could have my own space. The frat house can get pretty noisy, especially with Connie as a roommate.” He chuckles, reaching towards the bag of chips between them.
“Connie’s a blast to be around, though. I’m sure you’re having fun.”
“Yeah, I am. You should really come by the house.”
“Maybe. When I have time.” In all honestly, he has no intention of stepping foot in that frat house. Not because he has a disdain for Greek life; but because it’ll only show him what he’s missing out on. He already feels that way whenever he catches up with Mikasa and Armin, both thoroughly enjoying their college experience still.
Mikasa returns from the bathroom, hopping on the bed to squeeze next to Eren. “What did I miss?”
“We ended up pausing the movie anyways, so not much.” Armin passes the snacks to Mikasa, who throws a handful into her mouth.
They continue the movie, Eren’s mind drifting into space again. He’s already thinking about the upcoming chemistry midterm next week, how he hasn’t fully memorized the amino acids and their structures yet. And how he has to schedule a date to meet with Hange Zoë, a senior doing research in the lab, to see if he can shadow her for a month. On top of that, he’s planning on hosting a small event at the dorms, something to help his residents let off some steam after exams. It’s all too much. He wants to sleep and pretend that none of these obligations exist.
The credits roll on his computer screen. He blinks, fully unaware of what transpired during the movie. His friends hang around for a few more minutes before leaving to head to a party somewhere else on campus. Once again, he’s alone.
He is not motivated to study tonight, already burnt out from the last couple of days. Instead, he practices his electric guitar, working on a particular riff of this song he likes, replaying it over and over through his headphones. He loses himself in the music for a while, the closest thing to an escape that he can reproduce inside his own bedroom. Fingers sore from picking and strumming, he decides to call it a night. Face washed and teeth brushed, he snuggles under the covers, glancing at his phone. 11:00 PM. Wild night, he thinks to himself, laughing.
Suddenly, his brother’s name flashes across the screen. “Zeke?”
“Eren, hey. You’re not sleeping already, are you?”
“Nah. But I’m in bed.”
“On a Saturday night?”
“Yep.”
Zeke chuckles heartily. “Oh boy. I can already hear it in your voice. Welcome to the club, little brother. Your descent into med school hell is starting.”
“Yay, can’t wait,” Eren responds sarcastically. “Anyways, what’s up?”
“I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Clearly not well.”
“I’ve been better.” He keeps his answer vague on purpose. With Zeke, he doesn’t go into too much detail with the emotions he’s experiencing. As much as he respects his older brother, the two of them don’t always see eye-to-eye. While Eren usually acts out of emotion, sometimes to a fault, Zeke is detached, unable to empathize with what his younger brother is struggling with.
“Is dad still giving you a hard time? I heard he wasn’t happy with your last quiz grade.”
Eren ignores the urge to ask how he knows about that, already aware that they talk about him behind his back. “I told him it was weighted, so technically I passed.”
“Well, you know how the old man is. Technicalities don’t really matter to him.”
He rolls his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, almost regretting picking up this call. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying you should study harder.”
He’s fighting to keep his cool, his body tense with anger. Before he loses it, he mutters through gritted teeth, “Okay, thanks. I actually gotta go now, bye.”
“Eren, I’m just trying to help – ”
He doesn’t wait for Zeke to finish his sentence, already tapping on the red button to end the call. Now, with his mood ruined, he’s not sure if he can fall asleep. He wishes it was still daylight, specifically the golden hour when the sun sets. It would be the perfect time to head to his favorite spot: the beach that overlooks the shimmering expanse of blue ocean water separating Paradis and Marley. He discovered this area recently, on one of his drives that he takes to temporarily escape. It brings him peace, even if the moment is fleeting.
Instead, he scrolls through his contacts, tapping on his mom’s name, holding the phone back up to his ear. When her familiar voice greets him on the other line, the tears start flowing and he spends the next half hour confiding in her.
~~~
You and Reiner cuddle in bed, his nose nuzzled to the back of your neck, spooning you. Bertolt is home for the weekend, leaving the room to yourselves.
“Coco, are you still awake?”
You hum, snuggling closer to him, on the verge of sleep. He swallows hard behind you, as if he’s nervous. “I think I want to live in the fraternity house next semester.”
This gets your attention. Surprised, you turn around to face him. “What?”
“It’ll help me bond with my brothers better.”
“But we were supposed to live together.” The two of your agreed quite early in the semester that you would live together in one of the on-campus apartments. This news comes to you as a shock, since he’s never mentioned wanting to live on Greek Row, until now.
“I just want to try it out for a year, baby. When we’re juniors, we can find our own place off campus, so we can do whatever we want.” He pulls you closer, kissing your forehead. “Everything is going to work out, okay? You can wait a year, right?”
Of course you can wait; that’s what he asks you of, so you’ll do it. But you don’t want to. You had all these exciting ideas laid out in your head: cooking meals together, relaxing on the couch in each other’s arms, being alone without worrying about parents or roommates barging in on the two of you. Being together all the time.
“Coco, say something.”
It’s easy to get upset. Make a fuss and yell at him for being selfish. Simultaneously, you feel guilty for thinking this way, like you’re the bad girlfriend for disagreeing with it. For wanting him all to yourself.
“Okay,” you finally respond. “I’ll ask Annie if she wants to live together again, I guess.” It’s a compromise for the sake of making him happy. Because more than anything, you want him to be happy.
He smiles, kissing you on the lips. “You’re the best, you know that? I don’t know what I would do without you.”
You wake up, back in your own bed, Annie’s soft snores filling the quiet of the room. A quick glance at your phone shows you it’s only 4 AM in the morning. It’s been a few days since you dreamt about Reiner, a new record since the break-up. Still, whenever you do, it hurts as much as it did the first night.
He never warned you about wanting to move into the fraternity house. It came out of nowhere, a total and complete blindside, much like when he broke up with you. He’s been this way for a while, making rash decisions and springing it on you without a mention of it beforehand. You always end up going along with it, forcing yourself to accept it without disagreement. You never could stand up for yourself, thinking it was less hassle to bend for him than to argue about it. When you’re with someone for so long, the easy road seems the obvious choice, compared to one that has bumps and cracks along the way. But just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s better; it doesn’t always lead you to the right destination. And maybe that’s why you are where you are now: lost.
It’s been almost two weeks since you saw him on that rainy day. Two weeks since he sent you that text message, which remains unanswered. There’s been moments where you stared at the screen, fingers ghosting the keyboard, wanting to send him a reply. Somehow, you’ve resisted those temptations. In the end, it’ll only lead to more heartache. The memories haven’t kept you up at night as much as it did before. Thankfully, your sleep schedule is back to normal, except for nights like this. You’re doing better each day. Annie’s two words to you are on constant loop in your head: Baby steps. Any progress, no matter how little or big, is still progress. As long as you don’t go backwards into a downward spiral.
Later in the week, Annie extends an invitation to eat dinner at one of the sorority houses on campus, Mu Phi. Hitch, a close friend, is a sister who currently lives there. As you approach Greek Row with your roommate, you look at the Delta Delta house right next door, wondering if Reiner is there, working as their hasher tonight. Possibly flirting with Christa or other sisters that surely find him attractive. You let the insecurities fade as soon as you knock on the door to Mu Phi, soon greeted by Hitch and two other friendly sisters. They lead you into the dining room, chatting about various topics, subtlety sneaking in how great sorority life is, asking if you’ve ever been interested. After all, they are constantly in recruitment mode, which doesn’t bother you. It feels nice to be desired.
During the meal, the conversations continue. Annie, being the secret gossip she is, mentions the neighbors. You briefly described to her your run-in with Reiner and Christa, so naturally, she’s been curious since. “What’s it like living next to them?”
Hitch replies, “It’s fine. Did you know that Mikasa’s a Delta Delta?”
“Really? She rushed? I guess they can’t be all bad,” Annie muses.
Hitch eyes her with an amused smirk on her face. “Why would you say that? Who’s in there that you don’t like?”
Before Annie can respond, you interrupt, not wanting to spread any unwarranted gossip. “She’s joking. By the way, who’s Mikasa?”
“She’s this girl that attends Annie’s kickboxing class.”
Annie adds, “She’s also our RA’s sister.”
“Eren?”
She nods, confirming. His appearance around the dorms has lessened, possibly because of the upcoming midterms. He is a pre-med major after all, so you’re certain he’s too busy studying to be out and about. You wished you could have seen his face when he received the bag full of Pocky you bought for him, as thanks for sharing his umbrella on that rainy day. “I didn’t know he has a sister.”
“She’s adopted, from what I heard,” Hitch comments. “But they’re super close. Her, Eren, and Armin.”
At that third name, you glance at Annie, a slight blush creeping on her cheeks. She had a class with Armin last semester, and they were paired up for a big project. From then on, your roommate has been smitten with him, but she’ll never admit it out loud. You also recognize the name as one of Reiner’s pledge brothers from the same fraternity, though you’ve never met him personally. Knowing he’s close to Eren already gives you the impression that he’s a nice guy.
The dinner ends with a tour of the house, not including the exclusive sleeping porch on the top floor, where all the sisters are forced to slumber beside each other. Right outside the entrance, you, Hitch, and Annie talk for a little while longer until your roommate announces, “My shift at the library is starting, so I have to leave now. Thanks for dinner Hitch!”
The three of you say your goodbyes, Hitch waving farewell from the door, you and Annie parting ways in opposite directions. It’s a clear sky tonight, the moon glowing brightly in the vast darkness, littered with barely visible stars. You take your time walking, enjoying the pleasantly cool air, admiring the other houses along Greek Row. From behind, a familiar voice calls out to you. “Coco.”
Before you face him, you curse under your breath, aware of exactly who it is. You find Reiner several feet away from you, presumably from the Delta Delta house. His fraternity is in the opposite direction, so he must have spotted you from afar, maybe heard you talking outside. You stand in place, waiting for him to catch up to you, ambushed.
“Hey,” he says, with a sheepish grin.
You nod stiffly, unsure what to do next. It’s too late to make a run for it. Impossible to turn back the clock and sprint your way across campus. You should have known better, especially when you already assumed he’d be working there tonight. It doesn’t matter now; you’re trapped.
“Are you heading back to your dorm?” he asks, hands in his pockets.
You nod once more, voice stuck in your throat, unable to speak.
“I’ll walk with you.” It’s not a question or a suggestion. It’s final. He’s determined to do it.
Reluctant, you let him, pivoting on your heel towards the direction of your dorm, remaining silent. He stays beside you, hands in his pocket, glancing at you hesitantly. “What were you doing at Mu Phi?”
So he did notice you first. Eyes focused on the ground, you answer, “Hitch invited us for dinner.”
“Christa also invited you, remember? To the Delta Delta house.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” You don’t mean to sound venomous; well, maybe you do. Why bother bringing that up?
“I’m just reminding you. She’s really nice, you know.”
You snap, annoyed and frustrated. “Yes, Reiner, I’m sure she is very nice. That’s why I think she’d understand why I refuse to go to that house for dinner.”
“Because of me?”
“Of course it’s because of you!”
He sighs, scratching his arm excessively. Something he does when he’s anxious. “I don’t understand why you’ve been ignoring me. I thought we agreed to be friends. You won’t even respond to my texts. How am I supposed to know that you’re okay?”
“Okay? You want to know if I’m okay? Reiner, I haven’t been okay since the day you broke up with me.”
“That’s why I’m trying to talk to you.”
You scoff, blood boiling. “You’re the last person I want to talk to. You’re the reason I’m not okay. You broke my heart.” It’s a cheap shot to blame him, but that’s what you do. Fire everything in your arsenal to defend yourself, to hurt him.
His expression turns sullen at your harsh words. “I couldn’t be your boyfriend anymore. It’s fucked up, I know. But I did what I thought was right. I didn’t want to string you along.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way? Why didn’t you talk to me about it? We tell each other everything. Why keep this away from me?”
He chews on his lip, nervous. “I was scared, okay? Really scared to lose you. I thought if I started talking about it, you’d break up with me and hate me forever. I wasn’t ready for that.”
You process this, not sure how you truly feel about it. On the one hand, you understand the fear of losing the most important person in your life. That’s what you two are to each other. Well, were. On the other hand, it isn’t fair that he makes decisions when he’s ready. What about you?
You arrive outside your dorm building, standing feet away from each other, your arms crossed over your chest, protecting your heart. When you don’t respond, he continues. “I care about you, Coco. You’re my best friend. You’re the most important person in my life.”
“You say that now, but eventually, somebody else will come along. Then what?”
Quietly, he replies, “I don’t know.”
You have to stand up for yourself. Hit him with the bitter truth even if it makes him uncomfortable. You’ve gone far too long agreeing to what he wants, following his plan, sacrificing your sanity to protect him. You don’t owe him anything. He decided to dump you when he was ready. That gives you free reign to do the same. “I don’t want to be a placeholder for whenever the next person comes along. Do you understand how painful that is? To know I’m temporary? I can’t be the most important person in your life. Not like this. That’s why we can’t be friends.”
He stares at you, dumbfounded that you won’t concede to him. Disappointed that he can’t get what he wants this time, after so many years of doing so. This is what it’s like to have control, to stick up for yourself. Maybe there is some good to come out of this breakup.
After a while, Reiner speaks, voice trembling, eyes glistening. “You can’t do this to me, Coco. I still…I still love – ”
“Don’t say it. Do not fucking say it.” You cover your ears, as if that will prevent your brain from finishing the rest of that sentence in your head.
“I mean it, though. No matter what happens between us. I want you in my life.”
“Why is everything about what you want? Have you ever considered what I want?” You begin to pace back and forth on the pavement, arms jittery, increasingly erratic.
A little louder now, a tinge of arrogance in his tone, he says, “We’ve known each other our whole lives. Pretty sure I have a good idea about what you want.”
“Well, you don’t. It’s different now. You don’t know me just as much as I don’t know you.”
“How can you say this right now? You’re just going to throw us away?!”
“You did it first!” you yell at him, tears streaming down your cheeks.
He steps towards you, hands in a desperate prayer, begging. “I don’t want to lose you. Please, Coco. I need you. I need you.” It’s the magic words that he so expertly chants to you. The ones that tug at your heartstrings, make you weak in the knees. And for a second, you consider taking everything back. Reach out and hold him, forget about the pain you’ve suffered these past two months and agree to be friends. Because you’d do anything to see him happy again. For this to be a long nightmare and to wake up together, perfectly back to normal.
But you don’t. And only because the entrance to your building suddenly swings open, revealing Eren at the door, inspecting the scene with a concerned expression on his face. “Is everything okay out here?”
Reiner glares at him for the interruption. “Who are you?”
Eren steps towards you, glancing at you and Reiner. “I’m Eren, the RA for this building. Heard some yelling and thought I should check it out.”
“Reiner is leaving now,” you murmur, avoiding Eren’s gaze, embarrassed. “I’m sorry for the commotion.” You turn to head inside, not bothering to wave goodbye to your ex, who stands there, watching you. Eren follows, sneaking glances at Reiner before swiping his ID at the door to let you both in.
“Coco,” he calls out. “Please.”
You ignore him, wiping your tears with the back of your shaky hands, listening to the door shut behind you.
“Are you okay?” Eren asks, voice calm.
You face him, forcing a weak smile, eyes still wet. “Perfectly fine.” You turn to hurry into your room, overwhelmed and wanting to hide in the safety of your bed forever.
Before you can, he grabs you gently by the hand, thumb brushing your knuckles. “If you ever need to talk or anything, my door is always open for you.”
You mutter a timid, “Thank you,” then rush down the hall and into your room, heart pounding against your chest. His comforting words replay in your head, trying to replace all that was said between you and Reiner.
~~~
At the end of the week, Eren hosts a game night in the common room of the dorm building. He’s excited to bond with his residents with pizza from his favorite local Italian joint and some good old-fashioned Mario Kart. He lays the food out on the table and sets up his Nintendo console to the TV, the familiar opening sequence playing on the screen. Then, he patiently waits for his first guest. Fifteen minutes pass and still no one shows up. Where is everybody?
At the thirty-minute mark, he lays down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. The pizzas are surely lukewarm now, and the same tune playing on the TV is starting to grate on his ears. He texts Mikasa and Armin, complaining about the complete lack of attendees. Immediately, he gets a call from his sister. When he picks up, she states, “Eren, nobody is there because it’s the Friday night after midterms.”
“So?”
“People are getting ready to party. That’s what I’m doing, that’s what Armin is doing. That’s what everyone is doing.”
Someone in the background yells, “Tell him to come out with us!” It’s Sasha’s voice.
He groans, realizing his mistake. “I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not. Just come out with us. You deserve a break.”
He considers it for a few seconds, before he replies, “Thanks, but I’m gonna head to bed.”
Sasha boos him. “C’mon, Eren! Join us! It’ll be fun!”
“I’m tired, Sash. Next time.”
Believing she can’t be heard, she whispers to Mikasa, “He always says that.” Well, she’s not wrong.
Eren bids farewell to his friends, wishing them fun tonight. He lays on the couch for a while longer, trying to not to be too devastated at this failure of an event. Finally standing up, he heads to the table to begin packing.
“Am I too late?”
He turns around, surprised by her voice. The resident from down the hall, Room 104. The girl he’s seen cry at least three times now, the most recent being earlier in the week, outside the dorms. A small confrontation with the guy who Eren assumes is her ex, the cause behind all the tears. He was hoping to run into her soon, to check if she’s doing alright. He’s delighted to find her standing in the doorway, a small smile on her face.
“Hey,” he greets, waving at her. She steps towards him, inspecting the plethora of food on the table. He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “You’re the first person to show up, so we have plenty of food.”
She gives him a sympathetic look, opening the pizza box to grab a slice. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
He grins. “Hey, you’re here, aren’t you? That’s all that matters to me.”
As she settles in on the couch with her food, she explains, “I would have come earlier, but I was helping Annie get ready for a party.”
Eren takes the seat beside her, dropping a piece of pepperoni into his mouth. “I guess everyone really is going out tonight,” he muses, recalling what Mikasa told him earlier.
“Well, not everyone,” she reminds him, smiling. His chest swells with warmth seeing this side of her. Eyes free of tears, cheeks rounded with happiness, relaxed in his presence. He secretly resents Reiner, or whatever that guy’s name is, for putting her through all the misery she’s had to suffer.
They eat their pizza, chatting about arbitrary topics like favorite toppings, best local restaurants around the town, even a silly bet about who will beat who in a race. The upbeat melody of the Mario Kart intro still playing in the background is no longer annoying now that Eren has company.
One box only halfway finished, they wipe their hands clean of pizza grease to start the game, picking their favorite characters. Eren always opts for Yoshi, because of course he’s got to get the green dinosaur. She selects Toad, going on about how adorable she finds him, doing a decent impersonation of his high-pitched, bouncy voice, causing Eren to bust out laughing. They race, moving their bodies along with their controllers, bumping elbows and shoulders with bright smiles on their faces. She nudges him in the ribs when he tosses a red shell at her, knocking her off the course to take first place. He taps her knee with his when he slips on a banana peel she strategically lays out for him. It’s competitive, but not serious, both of them gloating and teasing one another at their victories. After going through most of the courses, they play battle mode, teaming up together to destroy CPUs on the most difficult levels.
After exhausting most of the game to their heart’s contents, Eren checks his phone, shocked that it’s already past 11 o’clock. He glances at her, checking if she’s ready to leave once they shut down the game. She remains beside him, her attention focused on the piano in the corner of the room. Pointing at it, she asks, “We have a piano in here?”, clearly never noticing it before.
He chuckles. “Yeah we do. Do you play?”
She shakes her head, standing up to approach it, sitting on one side of the bench. He follows her, taking his place next to her. It’s only now that he realizes how close they’ve been all night. His heart starts to beat faster for some reason.
Finger at a key, she presses on it, filling the room with a very out-of-tune C-note. “Do you play?” she asks.
“Not much, just the basics really. I’m better at guitar.”
“Acoustic?”
“Electric,” he answers, resting his hand on the piano, hovering his fingers over a chord.
“Electric guitar is so cool. I’d love to hear you play sometime.” It’s an innocent suggestion. But for whatever reason, Eren is shy about the idea of her being inside his room, watching him play his guitar. And for a split second, he imagines what other activities they can do with each other, in the privacy of his bedroom. He catches himself, mentally waving away the potentially inappropriate thoughts.
Desperate to change the subject, he suggests, “Want me to teach you something?”
She nods, eager to learn. He starts his thumb on a C-note. “This is a C-major scale. It starts here,” he presses down, wincing at how out of tune it is. “And then you follow through with the rest of your fingers. That’s a very basic scale, without complicating it too much.”
She does it easily, smiling at the keys in front of her. “Now can you teach me Moonlight Sonata?” she jokes.
He laughs. “How about Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star instead?”
“Fine,” she says, fake pouting. She’s really cute.
By midnight, she’s perfected the lullaby, enough for the two of them to sing along to it. Even with the notes out of tune, it’s still pleasant to listen to. He then shows her how to play the easiest version of Heart & Soul, a fun duet they manage to practice together within the hour. She’s a quick learner, which he appreciates. After their performance, she looks at him, smiling. “You’re a really good teacher.”
He brushes his fingers along the keys. “That was my dream job growing up. I always wanted to be a teacher.”
“A music teacher?”
“No, an elementary school science teacher,” he admits. “Thought it’d be so cool to blow their minds with little experiments or facts about the living things.” He stares distantly, a longing grin on his face, fantasizing an imaginary world where he’s pursuing a career he enjoys.
“So, what made you want to become a doctor instead?”
At this point, he’s speaking candidly, no longer worried about hiding the truth. He’s comfortable with her. “My dad. He’s a doctor, and it’s pretty much expected of me.”
“Are you enjoying it so far?”
“No, but at the end of the day, I’ll be helping people. And that’s what matters right?”
There’s a small pause in the conversation as she pushes on one of the keys, the note ringing out in the temporary quiet. “Teachers help people too. More than what society gives them credit for. And besides, no one wants to go to a doctor who isn’t happy being a doctor, right?”
He faces her, processing her statement. “I guess I never thought about that.”
She continues, drumming her fingers lightly on the piano. “You shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to. If there’s anything I’ve learned these past few months, it’s that forcing yourself to be happy doesn’t actually make you happy. It’s silly to say that out loud, like it’s so obvious. But I’ve made a lot of excuses, pretending I was fine with decisions made on my behalf without my feelings being considered. It was always easier to go along with it, avoid confrontation or an argument. But at what cost? Sacrificing my own happiness? It isn’t worth it, especially when it’s your life that you’re living, nobody else’s.”
This is about her ex. There’s a strong urge to ask her about it, offer a lending ear to listen to what else is on her mind. But he doesn’t question it further. The words she speaks to him resonate. Although they’re both going through different struggles in their lives, she understands him better than he expects her to. Maybe more than anyone in his circle of friends right now.
“I have a friend who’s an education major. Erwin Smith. His dad is also a teacher. I can give you his contact info if you want to talk to him?” she offers.
“I don’t know,” he responds hesitantly. He’s never considered changing his major. He can already picture the faces his father makes, disdainful and disappointment at his son “downgrading” his career.
“It doesn’t hurt to have it, right? Just in case?”
He thinks about it carefully before he eventually relents, whipping his phone out to type out the information she recites to him. She’s right; it doesn’t hurt to have it. It doesn’t mean anything.
Phone still in his hand, he abruptly blurts out, “We should exchange numbers.” Almost instantly, he regrets it, aware at how inappropriate that would be. But when she grins at him, nodding, he’s immediately relieved.
“I’m assuming this will be your personal number and not your RA emergency line?” she smirks.
Laughing, he confirms, “Yes, my personal number. I, um, enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. We should definitely do this again.” He passes her his phone as she does the same.
“You’re teaching me Moonlight Sonata next, remember?” she jokes, tapping her number into his screen.
“Yeah, of course.”
She slips her phone back into her pocket. “Also, if you ever need someone to talk to or listen to you, I’m just down the hall.”
“Hey, that’s supposed to be my line,” he teases, nudging her elbow with his.
“Well, you’ve helped me out way more than you know, so I want to do the same for you. Rely on me, okay? We’re friends now.”
Outside the room, students begin to stumble through the hall, back from their night of partying. Eren checks his phone, surprised to read 1:35 AM on the screen. “It’s already past 1. I’m sorry for keeping you up.”
“Don’t be. I wanted to be here with you. Thank you for hosting this.”
“Thank you for being the only person to show up.”
They gaze at each other, smiling. He wants to stay like this a little while longer, but he knows it has to end. At least, for tonight. They’re friends now, and he’ll be able to enjoy that warm, vibrant smile more often, he hopes.
“Anyways, we should probably sleep soon,” she suggests, glancing at the pizza boxes on the table. “I’ll help you clean up.”
“Thanks. Maybe we can hand some of these out. I bet someone out there has the munchies right now.”
She giggles. “Great idea, Mr. RA.”
They tidy up, clearing the room of trash and putting away the video game console back in Eren’s knapsack. She carries it with her while Eren balances the pizzas in his hands, offering a box to the passing residents that are not-so-discreetly drunk. By the time they make it to his room, he’s only got one left, deeming the event an overall success. Especially now that he’s made a friend from it.
She sets the bag down on the floor, watching him unlock the door. “I guess this is goodnight,” she says, giving him a small wave as she begins to step backwards down the hall, facing him.
“Yeah. I guess it is. Sweet dreams, okay?”
“Sweet dreams, Eren,” she repeats, turning on her heel to walk to her room.
~~~
You lay in bed, listening to Annie’s drunken snores beside you, mind focused on your new friend Eren. Snuggling closer to your pillow, you smile to yourself, happy for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s the most fun you’ve had this semester, and most importantly, it’s the longest you’ve gone without sulking about Reiner.
It’s in this moment that you realize the baby steps you’ve taken so far don’t seem so small anymore. Things are finally starting to look up.
Taglist:
@batafuraikisu @bloompompom @monirei @filunara @katestrophes @ichinosejager13 @hoperenae @zellskz @e-ayyy @liliorsstuff-blog @maliakealoha @holdmeclosebutdontloveme @chrollohearttags @sailorputa @squickkk @dnyllmh @hellomeow12 @s-cream-ing @potofstewie @conniesbbymama @erzascarlett28 @lem-hhn @roronoazorosbxtchh @ichigostrawberry15 @rhaelrence @lilshades @bigmoodyjoody @icansmellsouls @aangsupremacy @ashsauroras @bakuhoes-bxtch @mrs-wolfwood @si-kamo @jmtherula @imaddicted-b @monkemanjeager @neesiewrote @large-juice @chiinni @belovedackerman
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Halstead’s Favorite Duo
Anonymous request - Can you do a Jay Halstead x reader, where they are married and she is part of the K-9 unit? Maybe they called her in or something to help chase down a suspect.
My boots hit the ground as fast as I could to keep up with my first best friend for I wish I could say my whole life. Yet I have only known this dog since I joined the K-9 unit that works with the Chicago Police Department. My German shepherd dog ran forward on the heels of the man that was running from us. The man we were after was a drug cartel that they had been hunting for months. “Ryder! Attack.” I commanded him before he launched himself through the glass store window.
The guy we were chasing tried to run to the back of the store but he tripped over a shopping cart giving Ryder the opportunity to tackle him to the ground. Stepping over the broken window glass I draw my gun from my belt pointing it at the guy. “Y/n, Ryder! Are you guys okay?”
“We’re fine, Jay. Ryder ain’t too bad at his job. Ryder, come here.” I smiled seeing my husband coming around the corner lowering his gun when he saw the situation.
Ryder snarled at the guy on the ground keeping his tail still when we were out in the field. Otherwise he would let it actually wag when he was happy. Jay bent down on a knee after putting his gun away, grabbing the guy off the floor and handcuffing him. “You’re under arrest for smuggling drugs across the border. Take him back to the station.” He handed him off to one of the other local officers.
“You did good, boy.” Dropping down on a knee in front of my dog he started moving his tail wagging it since it was just me and Jay alone with him. “So how much paperwork does this leave you with tonight. I can order take out if you want if you’ll be home later.”
He shakes his head walking back to one of the squad cars having me and Ryder following his heels like we did every morning when we all had to leave the apartment. “Hailey said she would take care of it. I actually had something else in mind.”
“Oh really. Care to share what you had in mind?” I smirked knowing that he wouldn’t give it up even if I asked the question but I did it anyway.
Jay sent me a glare. “It didn’t work on our first date and it still won’t work now.” I nudged him and he chuckled before Ryder barked signaling that he wanted into our conversation.
“That means he doesn’t want to be left out of whatever mystery thing you have planned. And you agreed to take me in every way that includes my doggy.” I responded to him.
Jay and I had gotten married a few years ago. I had just been promoted to chief of my unit. Vioet was the man to help me get it after he had seen my history with Ryder and the amount of cases we helped crack down compared to the other k-9 unit members. Jay opened the door letting my dog jump into the backseat shutting the door once he was in. We both got in the car and removed our bullet proof vests and he started the drive looking my way a few times. “Do you remember the day we met?”
“Of course I do. I got injured on an assignment and the doctors at the hospital your brother Will works at wouldn’t let Ryder inside my room. So he started losing it and breaking things. If it wasn’t for you I was sure Ryder would have bit Will’s leg.” I snorted running a hand down my face thinking back on that night.
Jay smiled, shaking his head. “Yeah but he and I have the same goal to protect you…and love you.”
“So where are we going exactly? I mean it’s kind of strange that you are asking about the day we met. We’re already married. What else could we possibly do?” I shifted in my seat bouncing up and down with the tension of waiting.
Jay didn’t stop the car for another few minutes, parking the car outside of a house that was painted a light blue on the outside and it had a gray roof. He let Ryder out of the backseat first before coming over to my side and helping me out. “The surprise is that this place is now ours.”
“Are you serious, Jay!” I gasped covering my mouth with my hands spinning around to face him since he was standing behind me.
He slipped the keys in my hands. “It’s our. I am not lying to you. I got it all set up a few weeks ago. That way we aren’t cramped in an apartment and this gives Ryder a space to run when he wants to.”
“I love you.” I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him slowly.
Ryder barks running towards the front door just as Jay wraps his arms around my waist tugging me closer to deepen the kiss until he breaks it not being able to hold in his chuckle. “I love you too…and Ryder seems to approve.”
Comments really appreciated ❤️
#jay halstead masterlist#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead x reader masterlist#jay halstead#k-9 unit#chicago pd#chicago pd x reader#chicago pd fanfic#chicago pd fic#military dogs#military dog#ask box is open for anything#comments really appreciated
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(Ramble below, not very structured)
I'm watching episode 9 again and losing my mind over the scene where Saionji fucking kidnaps Anthy because. I forgot how actually upset Anthy is?
Like. The way Anthy is fucking shouting as Saionji drags her up to the arena. The way she tries to physically stop him from getting in! What the fuck!
The way he just bats her out of the way and we get a shot of her from behind, kneeling on the ground with a hand to her face, but we don't see her face. That's... not normal! Most of the time when Anthy gets slapped in the early series, we get a shot of her afterwards with a bruise.
Here, we don't see her face. But we can see that she's shaking, and the first-watch assumption would be that she's crying, but... I'm not inclined to view it that way given everything that happens after.
The way I read it, Anthy is pissed.
The next time we see Saionji, he's face down in the water. How did he get there? We don't see. On a first viewing, one might just assume that's a negative reaction the arena has to being opened at an inappropriate time- along with all the crazy shit going on inside the arena once Utena gets there. But given Anthy is later shown to have more control over what the arena does than she lets on, and noticeably does her flashiest magic (the sword pull, the transformations) in or on her way to the arena, I think Anthy is behind almost all of that. And I'd say she's also behind the Saionji-almost-drowning bit. You guys might remember the half-joking drawing I made of Anthy, uh, dragging Saionji into the water by his hair, and while she might not have gotten as hands-on about it as that drawing suggests, I still think she's responsible.
So, like... why?
Why does this piss her off so much? I mean, sure, Saionji absolutely has it coming, but Anthy's been through worse. She clearly doesn't like Saionji and messes with him whenever possible, but to attempt murder and then set up an elaborate illusion designed to upset him as much as possible is... a little extreme. I don't think she even goes that far with Nanami, unless you consider the elephants to be legit murder attempts (which I do not- I think that was Anthy scaring Nanami, not trying to kill her, because I can't believe Nanami would survive that many encounters with elephants that actually wanted her dead).
I think the answer is that, for all the shit she takes from the duelists, Saionji is one of the only ones who breaks this many rules. Not only does he mistreat her when they're engaged- something she's used to, but that seems to be at least frowned upon, if not outlawed (given Touga felt the need to call a "stop hitting your girlfriend" meeting in episode 1)- he mistreats her afterwards. He refuses to let her go, he acts as if she still owes him something. And then he goes and pulls this. He kidnaps her, takes her to the arena without a duel scheduled, and tries to enter the arena- all things that are against the rules of this stupid game that Anthy, however much she knows it is a stupid game, lives her whole life around. And he tells her End of the World is responsible, which Anthy knows isn't true, because if Akio were planning something this batshit, she'd know about it! Of course she's angry, this goes well beyond the threshold of nonsense her job usually entails!
I don't know if she was aware of Touga's plan to play the hero for Utena and get Saionji expelled- if so, she obviously wasn't aware of all of it. The freakout on the way up to the arena is too intense for me to read it as anything but genuine. She's shaking with effort trying to stop Saionji from opening the gate. Things do fall perfectly into place for Touga to get between Saionji's sword and a defenseless Utena, but I honestly think Touga's plan may have been to just...
1) Impersonate End of the World and tell Saionji the castle is coming down, this will incentivize him to go up there and break the rules.
2) Tip Utena off that Saionji has kidnapped Anthy.
3) The castle doesn't come down, upsetting Saionji and heating up his inevitable confrontation with Utena enough that he tries to kill her and Touga can step in at the perfect moment.
4) Profit.
I don't think he knew Anthy was going to Do That. For one, the plan was to get Saionji expelled, not kill him- Anthy's stunt there could have ruined the entire plan if Utena hadn't dragged Saionji out of the water. And Touga is drinking the "Rose Bride doesn't have feelings" juice. Evidently, he doesn't put two and two together after this, because he's still beating that drum in episode eleven!
I don't think Akio knew much about this either. Touga is telling him about it over the phone, so Touga didn't tell him, and Anthy didn't know, so she couldn't have either. I think he probably got woken up in the middle of the night by all the chaos and had to dial Touga up after the fact to ask him what the fuck was going on.
#revolutionary girl utena#shoujo kakumei utena#rgu#sku#anthy himemiya#himemiya anthy#kyouichi saionji#saionji kyouichi#touga kiryuu#kiryuu touga#akio ohtori#ohtori akio#utena spoilers
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Chapter 3 I’d make a deal with god
Chapter 3 of Tragedy at the Miller’s
A/N- I hope you guys like the chapter
Warning- ANGST, violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter, some fluff :)
Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader
Episode- 1x05-1x06 (only the beginning)
(If you want to be tagged let me know!)
————
The street was quiet. And as far as views go, it was the same way as it was in the tunnel, dark and eerie.
The stars overhead were tempting to admire, you felt grateful that you were out of the humid tunnel and breathing fresh air, but the cul-de-sac was too quiet, and you weren’t actually across the river yet. You knew better than to get your hopes up too soon; just like most of what you’ve learned from life, you learned that the hard way.
Yet it seems Henry and Sam don’t quite get that.
Then again how could they know? The farthest they’ve gone out of the city is being in that forest. They only know a small part of what the world is like.
“No,” Henry breaks the silence you had purposely left as you tried to make your way to the bridge. “No one is here. No one’s gonna be here because my plan worked.”
Your dad scoffs in annoyance, “so much goddamn talkin’.”
You look back at Henry over your shoulder and add on too. “We’re not across the river yet, let’s wait to celebrate then.”
“I’m just saying,” Henry continues smugly. “I delivered.”
You smirk faintly and roll your eyes to look back ahead.
“Make this right,” he points out. “Go down the street, embankment behind the last house, and we’re out.”
“So we cross the river and then what?” Ellie asks. “Where ya gonna go?”
You glance over at your dad, and even if it hasn’t been discussed you know that there’s no option but to travel home together now.
At least you hope that’s what he’s thinkin’ too.
“We’re going to Wyoming,” you share and blink to look at your dad for reassurance. “We can go together.”
But as expected when your dad meets your gaze he remains nonchalant. He then peers back at Henry though, and seems to look…unsure. “How about we cross the river and then talk.”
You swallow thickly and look back ahead. Would this really be it?
Ellie notices his look, he reads him like you do and comments on the matter. “Don’t worry he’ll give in. Trust me.”
Trust her?
How long have they been together?
“This is how it goes?” Ellie continues. “He’s like, No, Ellie,” she begins to mock him in a deep voice, causing you to blink in disbelief before you peer back at her. “Never, ever, ever happening.”
Regardless of what uneasiness you felt by his lack of agreeance, what jealousy just sparked, you can’t help but grin in amusement at her teasing.
“And then I’m like,” Ellie continues in her normal voice. “I’m gonna ask you a million more times. And he’s like—”
Before she can finish what she’s saying, she’s suddenly interrupted by the sound of a gunshot whizzing past your ear, and hitting the ground inches away from you.
“Fuck!” Ellie screams, while you cover your ear and throw yourself to the ground, losing that smile.
“Move, move!” Your dad yells and proceeds to grab your arm to yank you off the ground, and push you and Ellie behind a rusted car.
“Y/N,” you hear Henry from the ear that’s not currently ringing. “Are you okay? Did it hit you?”
You groan and shake your head. “No…no,” you pant. “Just went past me.”
“Where fuck is that coming from—”
“Shut up,” your dad cuts Henry off now.
You pull your hand away from your ear as the ringing begins to fade, and look over at your dad peeking past the top of the hood. A gunshot then breaks a car window though, so he ducks his head back down.
“How many?” You ask him.
Your dad shakes his head. “One, I think. I can’t be sure, not from here.”
You swallow thickly and snatch your rifle off your shoulder. You try to suggest a risky idea that comes to mind, but then another gunshot goes off and a hand wraps around your wrist instead.
“Shit,” Henry panics and looks away from the shooter to try and move with Sam at his other hand. “Alright, fuck. Let’s move. Let’s go.”
Without hesitance you yank your arm back and grab his wrist instead to pull him back down. “I’m not leaving my dad. And you can’t just get up like that or you’ll get shot,” you scold him as kindly as you can sound. “Stay down.” You then snap your eyes to your dad and share the idea you had in mind. “I can shoot them, I just need a distraction so he doesn’t end up shooting me.”
A bullet hits the car you’re behind, and your dad lets his gaze linger on you as he thinks about the plan you shared.
You want him to say yes so he’d see that you’re capable, that you’ve changed from that little girl he saw last time, years ago.
However, he shakes his head and sighs.
“Dad—”
“I’ll go,” he cuts you off before you can argue. “You two stay here.” He directs to Ellie and yourself.
“What?” Ellie asks in confusion.
He turns to face Ellie now. “If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you,” he tells her, and then looks to you. “I’m gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then I’ll take him out.”
You shake your head and protest. “If you go out there, he’s gonna kill you.”
“It’s dark and he has shit aim. Nobody’s gonna kill me. Besides, I ain’t putting you at risk.”
“You just said—”
“Y/N,” he cuts you off sharply. “Do you trust me?”
You lower your shoulders from their tense position, you let your face soften from its hardened state and nod softly without as much as thinking about it.
Your dad proceeds to pull his gun out and looks to Ellie to speak to her. “If anything happens you stick with her, got it?”
Ellie glances at you and hesitates before returning her gaze to him and nodding in comprehension. After that your dad proceeds to scurry away through the cover of night, making the person in that house try to follow him with their gun to try and shoot him.
And now, while the person is distracted you lift your head over the car's hood to finally take a peek yourself. That’s when you catch only one light reflecting from a window before the bullet hits the ground in front of the car. You proceed to look around at the other houses to see if there were more, but your dad was right it seems to be just one in the house straight ahead.
Just one. Your dad will be fine.
You duck back behind the car and wait. Wait in anticipation. You hold onto your pendant around your neck and wait. A few more bullets go off and hit the objects around you, you wait for them to reload and shoot again, but a longer silence follows now, letting you guess that your dad might have reached the shooter now.
You slowly lift your head and peek out, and luckily this time you see no more reflection. Yet you can’t be assured that your dad has gotten to him, not until you can see him up there giving you all a sign.
However, a few seconds pass of more silence and he doesn’t give you any. Instead you hear one gunshot echo, it doesn’t hit anything nearby it just echoes, meaning one of two things; your dad shot the shooter, or the shooter shot your dad.
You can’t think of losing him just as you reunited, so you’ll go with he’s the one that shot the shooter first.
“It seems your dad got him,” Henry interjects.
You stop fiddling with the pendant and meet his gaze with hope. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think so too. Let’s just wait until he gives a sign though.”
Henry nods in agreement, and silence follows again. Albeit the silence breaks soon thereafter with a distant scream from your dad. “Run!”
You blink in confusion, and hang your rifle over your shoulder again as you slowly push yourself up to try and get a view of him.
“Run!” Your dad yells again.
Why is he saying that?
And only seconds later is when you begin to hear the distant sounds of engines running. When you snap your eyes ahead you notice headlights down the street, getting larger the closer they get, and brighter as more than one begins to appear.
“Go! Go, go!” You bellow to the group, and push Ellie in front of you so she can get ahead of you so can you run behind her, Henry and Sam.
The closer the leading car gets, the more you hear metal clashing as cars blocking the street get shoved aside. Bullets ring against metal too as your dad tries to shoot the driver of the moving truck, and as Ellie tries to shoot back aimlessly.
You want to shoot at the driver too to at least get that car off your trail, but when you hit the trigger you come out empty since you haven’t given Henry his empty pistol back.
“Fuck,” you grumble. “Fuck. Fuck.”
As Henry and Sam get ahead faster, you mindlessly begin to run past Ellie to try and reach the other end of the street. However, it’s at that moment that you begin to get ahead that you suddenly hear glass clash, brakes then screech before you hear a crash through one of the wooden houses.
You try to look back at the sight, you try to look back even when you hear multiple cars brake behind you, even if it’s one thing you didn’t like to do while running away from dangerous shit, but you remember Ellie had fallen behind, so you look. That’s when you see her on the ground, and multiple people climbing out of their cars.
It’s a fucking risk to go back especially since they all have guns, but you can’t leave her behind, not even if you feel a smidge of jealousy towards her. Maybe giving her the slight cold shoulder is something that you can live with, but leaving her behind is something that would haunt you, so you quickly turn back around on your heels and sprint towards her.
She catches you running at her as she remains stunned on the ground and her eyes brighten before she pushes herself up and then runs at you.
“Come on!” You yell at her. “Come on!”
Ellie quickens her pace as best as she can, and just as you throw your hand out to reach for hers suddenly an explosion goes off at your side, and the force throws you both to the ground.
“Fuck,” you cough out seconds later, and flutter your eyes open, catching a bright raging light now brighten the street. “Fuck.” You snap your head up and see Ellie moving slightly. That fills you with relief over the fact that she isn’t badly hurt. Or at least that’s what it seems like.
“Ellie,” you call out between pants. “Ellie, are you—”
Before you can finish your question though, hands get slapped around your arms and begin to yank off the ground.
“Come on, come on,” someone muffles.
You snap your head back in a panic, but thankfully only see Henry.
“You’re not hurt?” He asks.
You shake your head and get up to your feet. “No, no, I’m okay. Go, help Ellie.”
Henry nods and leaves your side to run to Ellie while you run to Sam behind a car.
“Are you okay?” Sam immediately signs to you worringly once you’re ducked close to him.
You nod quickly and redirect his question. “You okay?”
Sam nods, and both of your gazes lift as Henry and Ellie join you ducked behind the car.
“You okay?” You ask Ellie as she fixes herself between Sam and you.
She nods and mumbles, “yeah.”
Multiple footsteps now step closer, and commands get thrown out that make you stiffen. “He’s up there! Two and two! Around the back, take him out!”
“Fuck!” You hiss. There’s no way to take them out without getting caught or leaving yourself vulnerable. Fuck.
“Dead end, Henry!” You hear a woman shout—Kathleen most likely. “Gonna step out? Save us some time?”
Henry of course doesn’t answer, so Kathleen continues.
“No? That’s alright. Doesn’t matter.”
You rest your head against the car and try to think of some plan to get out of this position. Yet, Henry then interjects. “I’ll come out!”
You quickly snap your head over to him and shake it in protest. “No,” you whisper. “No, Henry no.”
Said man meets your gaze and lets his eyes linger on you. “Just let the girl and kids go!” He shouts.
You keep shaking your head in hopes he’d change his mind.
“No,” Kathleen retorts. “Sorry. The little girl is with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam, and the other girl, well they’re with you.”
You shift your eyes away and scoff.
What the fuck?! What the fuck is her problem? Wanting to kill you, you understand, but the kids?
“You don’t understand!” Henry rebuttals.
But Kathleen doesn’t listen. “But I do,” she counters. “I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?”
What the hell?
You shake your head and curl your lip in anger and disgust.
“He’s just a fucking kid!” Henry yells back.
“Well, kids die, Henry,” Kathleen says without an ounce of sympathy in her tone. “They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth everything? Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate.”
“Get ready to take him and run,” Henry blurts at you quietly.
You look over at him and see him looking at you. “No,” you rebuttal. “No.”
“Y/N,” he insists. “Yes.”
You try to look angry at his stupid choice, but instead you look hurt.
“Henry,” you whisper, but he then cups your cheek and cuts you off.
“Please. Do it.”
You stare into his eyes and want to argue, you want to yell at him for wanting to risk his life like this, for wanting you to take Sam away without leaving with him, but…you don’t. You trust him and understand this one need, you give in for him, for the love you already harbor.
“Fine,” you whisper and look over at Sam, noticing Ellie take his hand for you.
“It’s time, Henry,” Kathleen interjects. “Enough!”
You look back at Henry and meet his gaze, seeing him hesitate for a few seconds. So you reach for his trembling hand and give it a gentle squeeze. He proceeds to let his eyes linger in your hurt gaze for a moment longer before he averts his gaze, and puts his head back to pant and then whisper to himself, “okay,” before he stands up and raises his hands while he slowly steps towards the aggressor.
“It ends the way it ends,” Kathleen says after a few seconds of silence, and cocks her gun before she shouts another command. “Grab the girl he’s with too, I want him to see her die.”
You gasp and freeze since you know she only means you.
“No!” Henry shouts. “Wait, no! Not her! She had nothing to do with it! It was just me!”
Footsteps begin to approach, and your heart begins to race, your hands begin to shake, but you put on a brave face and roll your eyes to the side to glare at the rugged man approaching you.
“Touch them and I’ll kill you,” you grimace.
The man tries to grab you, but you stand up by yourself and step away from him. “Don’t you dare,” you snap and raise your hands.
“Come on,” the man orders and points the gun forward.
“No,” Kathleen adds now as you get forced to stand by Henry. “She might have not had anything to do with it, but you care about her.”
You drift your eyes to Henry, and end up meeting his angry and worried gaze.
“It’s okay,” you mouth to him with an assuring look and smile. “It’s okay.” You drift your gaze back to Kathleen and shoot her an unbothered glare.
There’s only one man next to you, the others are standing a bit too far to react too fast. They wouldn’t let one of their own die would they? They cared so much about the one person your dad killed, so….
Quickly before anyone can react to you, you fist your left hand, and quickly swing your fist up to punch the man’s forearm to make his aim fall from your head.
“Wait!” you hear Kathleen yell as guns point at you now.
You then quickly spin around and ram your fist in his throat to leave him incapacitated while you snatch his gun from him, and then use your foot to swing it under him to sweep him off the floor.
When the guy hits the ground you instantly point his gun at his head, and step on the back of his hand before slowly glaring up at Kathleen.
She looks stunned, so you take this time to look over at Henry, catching his own shocked and awed look.
“Come close and I’ll shoot him,” you threaten all of them. “Your revenge can’t mean more than your man’s life now does it?” You taunt Kathleen with a sly smirk.
Kathleen moves her gun to point at you and parts her lips to say something, but she then cuts herself off as the sound of rubble and creaking metal steals everyone’s attention, including Henry’s and yours.
At first it doesn’t seem like much, just the ground beneath the truck crumbling due to the explosion. But it’s from that same hole that the truck falls into that lets out the sound of distant groaning and growling. Infected….
You remove your foot off the man under you and help up so he can run away. You then snap your head over to Henry, and he meets your gaze to share a knowing look since no one can deny the sounds.
Yet before either of you can run away dozens, no, hundreds of infected climb out from the ground and don’t waste a second to charge at everyone that is formed in front of the hole. They all try to shoot at the runners and the clickers that charge at them, but there’s too many, too many overwhelm them immediately—It’s so many of them climbing out of the ground.
You’ve seen hordes before, you’ve run from dozens of infected before, but never like this, never from one’s running out of a fire pit as if they were spawn out of hell.
The sight freezes you out of fear, leaves you vulnerable, until Henry runs at you now that the men focused their attention away from him and you, and breaks you from your stupor.
“Come on!” He yells, and you both run to the kids still ducked behind the car.
“You have my gun, I have the man’s,” you tell Henry as you duck and hide with the kids. “Take Sam and go, I’ll take Ellie and be right behind you.”
Shooters approach the car you’re hidden behind and begin shooting at infected climbing on the car. More fall at your side as bullets come from the house where your dad is in. And before long, as more infected approach, you all bolt away from behind the car to run to your dad.
However, more infected swarm the area and get in your way, so you lose sight of Henry and Sam quickly as they don’t stop running. You on the other hand use the man’s gun and shoot at the clickers and runners that charge at Ellie and you.
“Go!” You yell at Ellie. “Go, I have you covered!”
Ellie runs on ahead, and you kill any threats that are near her. Once there’s no infected ahead of you, you follow after Ellie as she runs towards a van nearby that has a window slightly opened.
A clicker closeby hears her running footsteps however and tries to charge at her, but you quickly stop in your steps to shoot it and then move the aim to shoot the other infected that can be a possible threat.
“I’ll open the door for you!” Ellie yells back as she approaches the car.
You watch her get inside through the window, and immediately more infected try to reach her through the windows; they pound and claw. You clear as many of them as you can until your bullets run out and you have no choice but to throw the gun out and use your own rifle.
Yet that has few bullets in it too, luckily your dad helps you take out as many as he can around the car and you, while Ellie crawls to the door to try and open it for you from the inside. And when you turn to grab the door handle, suddenly a stalker tackles you down to the ground.
“Oof.” You breathe out as you slam to the ground, and end up losing your gun.
The stalker tries to bite down at you, but you quickly throw your head to the side, and throw your hands up to keep it away. You want to kick it back and use your knife, but then a bullet goes through its head and it falls limb, letting you crawl back away from its corpse. You then look up at the window and give your dad a thankful nod.
He nods back, so after that, before more infected come and swarm you, you get up and find your gun first, before you face the car to get Ellie.
Neverthless, at that moment as you turn you notice a different kind of infected. It’s larger than others, tall, and plump. It has fungus coming out of its head like a clicker, but this one also has fungus growing out of its entire body. It’s…terrifying. It’s fucking horrifying, but you don’t freeze this time, you can’t. You just push its presence to the back of your head and face the car again. That’s when you see a child clicker climb in the same car Ellie is hiding in.
You know your dad has you covered from any infected around you, so you quickly throw the door open and hastily help Ellie out of the car as the clicker flips over the seats to try and reach her.
“Come on!” You urge her after you close the car door. “We’re almost there!” You grab her wrist to run towards your dad together, but she quickly stops you and points out.
“It’s Sam and Henry!”
You follow where she points to, and see the both of them under a car trying to kick away the clickers that are trying to grab them. However, there’s too many infected in your way, too many for you and Ellie to take down without getting swarmed….
Wait! That’s right...
You look up at your dad at the same time Ellie does, and you both speechlessly ask him to cover you with your looks alone.
He’s hesitant at first, but he gives you both an assuring nod, letting you both then run towards Henry and Sam.
“You help Sam, I’ll get the one on Henry!” You tell Ellie as you maneuver past bodies of the infected your dad was killing in your path.
“Okay, yeah!” She replies through pants.
You narrow your eyes on the clicker that has Henry by his feet, ignoring the car that races past behind you and quickening your pace to get closer.
Just as you approach Henry, the clicker drags him out of hiding, it wants to bite him, but you quickly lift your rifle and shoot it right in its head, killing it.
“Come on,” you tell Henry urgently as you help him to his feet. “You’re okay,” you assure him before you turn on your heels, noticing Ellie managed to get the clicker off Sam, but she can’t stab her knife deep enough to kill it. So you lift your gun and help her kill it, letting her then help Sam off the ground.
“Go, go!” You yell at everyone.
Quickly, before more infected can come towards you, you all bolt towards the house your dad is inside of. You climb up the yard hand in hand with Henry, you’re close to getting out, but then Kathleen stops you all.
“Stop!”
Henry pushes you all back behind him to block you all from her gun, but you still raise your rifle to try and use your last bullet on her.
Albeit that’s when you notice the child clicker from before sneaking up from behind her, and lower your gun instead. Kathleen blinks in confusion, and follows everyone’s line of gaze. But, she notices the clicker too late and it tackles her to the ground before she can react.
It hits her repeatedly, and overpowers her, all she can do is scream.
As bad as she was, that fate is still horrible.
“This way now!” You hear your dad yell, breaking everyone from their shock. You then look over at him in shock and watch him pushing Ellie and Sam towards the bridge just behind the houses.
“Move!” He yells and turns you around so you can keep moving behind Henry. He follows last, making sure no one or nothing follows you from the bloodbath that was now the cul-de-sac.
——
*LATER*
“Pew…pew. As the Raven 01 approaches the red planet….”
You put the paper your food was wrapped in down and drag your feet back against your chest to continue listening to Ellie reading with Sam.
Compared to all the terrified screams, all the infected growling and groaning, all the gunshots, and burning flames that had filled your ears on your way to the motel, listening to her read in the silence of night was calming and peaceful.
“You think they’ll be okay?” Henry asks out loud, breaking the silence that was between him, your dad and you.
“Yeah,” your dad nods. “I think.”
You hug your legs and look over at him as he continues.
“It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway….” He pauses and glances at you before looking at Henry. “You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part.”
Being scared isn’t easy, not knowing how to help because you’re young isn't easy, but he’s also right.
“Well,” Henry interjects. “I guess we’re doing a good job then.”
Your dad nods softly in agreement, and you can’t help but smile down at your knees since they seem to be getting along more now.
“What’s that comic book say?” Your dad asks. “Endure and survive?”
You lift your gaze to look at the Savage Starlight comic book Sam and Ellie are reading, and scoff softly before you nod. “Endure and survive,” you repeat.
“That shits redundant,” Henry retorts, making you smile in amusement.
“Yeah,” your dad agrees. “It’s not great.”
You shake your head and laugh softly. “No.”
Savage Starlight was a comic book you often saw lying around, but you never got into them so much. You always enjoyed more of uh…romance, some horror, thrillers, comedy, and fantasy.
“Look, Henry,” you hear your dad continue, making you snap your eyes to him and sit up as you’re filled with curiosity. “I don’t know exactly how I’m gettin’ to Wyoming. I’m probably walkin’. But you know if you want to.”
Your smile grows wider, and your gaze grows softer as you understand your fathers invitation to Henry.
“Yeah,” Henry agrees. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it’d be nice for Sam to have a friend. I’ll tell him in the morning. New day, new start.”
You’re filled with joy now, and that fear of rejection washes away….
At least you hope your dad is also referring to you.
“What about me?” You interject to double check. Even if you might know the answer.
Your dads eyes snap to you and he scoffs before he retorts. “How do you think we’re getting there?”
You smirk and then glance at Henry sitting on a table beside you to share a soft smile with him.
“I don’t why you had to ask,” your dad mumbles.
You then look at the kids, and notice Sam fiddling with the pendant you had given him.
“Just makin’ sure,” you say and drag your legs down. “Maybe y’all wanted to leave me behind….” Wait…you catch that comment the moment it comes out. It’s wrong…it seems like a jab directed to your dad, but you didn’t mean it that way.
You snap your eyes over to him in hopes he didn’t take it that way, but you can’t tell, he’s looking away, his lips are formed in the same serious line. Fuck. Fuck….
Let’s just hope he didn’t take it badly.
You swallow thickly and look ahead, noticing Henry in the room with the kids, and Sam still holding the pendant. So choosing to just brush off your concern so as to not overthink about it, you get up and walk in the room, seeing Sam walk to the other bed now.
“Goodnight,” you sign to him as he notices you walk in.
He offers you a faint smile and redirects your comment. “Goodnight.”
Henry walks back in the room, and before you can follow him you check on Sam since he was holding the pendant. “Are you feeling okay?” You question him.
Sam nods in assurance, but you can notice his frown and a…sad look in his eyes.
“Are you sure?” You press.
Sam nods again. Perhaps it was just the events of tonight then.
“Okay,” you continue to sign to him. “No story tonight?”
Sam shakes his head. “Tomorrow,” he signs back.
You smile and nod in agreement. “Sounds good,” you sign. “Goodnight.”
Sam offers you a faint smile as a response, and before you can leave the room you glance over at Ellie and offer her a very faint smile that’s a bit forced. Maybe she’ll grow on you soon enough. Once your dad explains why they’re traveling together. Hopefully.
Anyway, once you close the room door behind you, rather than sitting back down, and since there was no other room in this curtain room you’re camping in. And since you don’t want your dad hearing your conversation with Henry, you meet your partner's gaze and point to the exit.
Henry doesn’t seem to understand though, so you point to the door again. But nothing.
You roll your eyes and just break the silence. “I’m going to get some fresh air before bed.” You nod slowly, and before anyone can say anything you make sure you have your knife with you before you walk over to the door, and push the table that’s blocking the exit to the side before walking out. Hopefully, Henry understands, and hopefully your dad doesn’t walk out. As funny as that would be, it’s not who you want to talk to.
Regardless, as you wait you lean against the railing and look up at the shining stars painted on the night sky. You smile up at them and watch them twinkle. The door opens, and you quickly peer back, seeing Henry walk out. Thankfully.
“Hey,” you greet him in a whisper.
He closes the door and walks to your side first before returning a greeting. “Hey.”
You look back at the sky and continue to watch the stars. “You know there’s a way to navigate around using the stars.” You share with him.
Henry hums. “I didn’t know,” he says. “Do you know how to?”
You nod and drop your gaze to look at him, noticing he was already looking at you. “Yeah, I do,” you admit.
Henry smiles and scoffs. “Of course you do.”
You laugh softly. “Well it’s kind of convient you know, very helpful..”
“Is that why you like to stare at them all the time?” He asks.
You let out a small breath and shake your head. “No. I just like to watch them, it’s fascinating really; space, all of it.”
Henry hums and averts his gaze, he grabs the rusted railing and brings a short silence.
You notice his smile faltering, so you quickly probe. “What is it?”
Henry gently hits the wood and lifts his gaze to meet yours. “Thank you,” he says. Again. “What you did back there, to that guy…” he swallows thickly and goes shy. “No one has ever done that before. You know usually when things go down like that people scatter to protect themselves…I’m guilty of that, but you…” he pauses and his eyes soften, whilst you now feel caught by surprise. “…you stuck around all three times,” Henry continues. “You shouldn't have, but you did, and you saved me and Sam. Thank you.”
Your smile widens and trembles, and your heart races inside your chest, but you grab his hand and offer him a soft look. “You were worth it,” you redirect sweetly. “All of it. And when it’s worth it there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect the ones I love.”
Henry looks caught off guard for a few seconds, but he quickly manages to shoot you a smile before he cups your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. A sweet and passionate one that makes you wrap your arms around his neck. That lets you move in sync with another, and makes you press yourself against the wall next to the door.
Henry seems to be taken back by your passion, but he just smiles and goes with it, letting himself get swept up by you. The only reason you pull back is to catch your breath.
“You know I think you were right,” he says between pants. “I think your dad—”
“Please,” you cut him off and press your finger against his lips. “Don’t talk about my dad,” you whisper and giggle. “Not right now.”
Henry snorts and nods. “Right,” he mumbles, letting you drop your hand back to your side—“but we should get some sleep, I imagine we have a long day of walking tomorrow.”
You smile sweetly and lean in to whisper against his lips. “Yeah I know, but why not stay out here a while longer, hm? Maybe find a more discreet place to go take this further.”
Henry gapes and blinks rapidly. “I,” he breathes out and shakes his head.
You grin and cup his jaw. “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you assure him. “I’m fine just being with you here.”
Henry shakes his head again and quickly throws out his response, “No I want to, I do. Do you?”
You grin softly and press your hand against his chest, feeling his heart racing.
“Don’t worry,” you assure him as you hold his gaze. “You’ll be okay. You’re with me.” You pull back, and drop your hand to your side to grab his, and pull him down the stairs with you. “Come on!” You grin happily.
——
*THE NEXT DAY*
“Sarah,” you whisper and slowly walk further inside her dark room.
She hums and shifts on her bed. “Hm?”
“I'm scared,�� you whisper. “There’s something in my room.”
Her bed creaks and thanks to the moonlight reflecting inside through her window by her bed, you see her sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Okay,” she mumbles and slides over to the other side of her bed. “Come on.”
You smile with relief and run over to the bed to climb on and lay beside her.
“What was in your room?” She asks as she lays her head back down on the pillow.
You pull the blankets over you and flip to your side to face her. “A…monster, I think.”
She smiles weakly and wraps her arm around you. “Maybe you just heard dad snoring.” She mumbles.
You sigh unsurely and watch her close her eyes to try and drift back to sleep.
“Do you want me to tell you a story?” She asks quietly.
You perk up and grin softly. “Just one,” you agree.
“Okay, well—”
“Ahh! Ahhh!”
Suddenly the dream you were having is interrupted coldly by the sound of distressed yelling that makes you gasp, and sit right up out of instinct.
However, it’s as you sit up that the door is slammed open and Ellie is thrown to the floor by….by Sam growling, groaning, and snapping his teeth as he tries to claw at her. She tries to push him off, but she can’t fight him. Or she really doesn’t want to…
But why?
Why?
Why is he acting so violent, why is he trying to bite her? Why is making those noises?
You sit there wide eyed, frozen by horrifying fear that inside, deep inside your heart you understand why it grows so furiously. You can identify what those sounds coming out of Sam mean, you’ve heard them what feels like all your life. You know…But you don’t want to accept it. You don’t want to accept his sudden fate.
He’s so young, so innocent, so sweet and kind. It can’t…it can’t be true. It can’t be happening again…
He can’t…
“Nope, nope, nope,” you hear Henry repeat, and when you look up you see him on his feet, pointing your dads own gun at him as he slowly stands up.
“Joel!” Ellie cries out.
Sam is going to bite her…he’s going to bite her…
You try to reach for your own knife since you know you’re out of bullets. You want to help her before it takes her too…you want to help your dad and Henry, but you can’t move a muscle, your fear paralyzes you as well as your denial.
You can only keep watching…just like when…Sarah died. You can only watch.
Henry shoots at your dad, you can hear the bullet, and his yell even after you cover your ears. You can feel it carve the ground, but that still doesn’t make you move.
“Joel!” Ellie cries again as Sam doesn’t stop.
He’s going to bite her. Sam he’s…
And suddenly there’s another gunshot, but this time rather than feeling it hit the ground, you hear a thump, and then silence. Deafening silence.
Finally as Sam stays still on the floor, you slowly get up and take a step towards him. You notice the dark blood spilling out and staining the ground, you still wait…You wait for him to get up. He has to. It can’t be happening again…he couldn’t have turned. He has to wake up.
You slowly put your hands down. “Sam?” You call out quietly even though you know he wouldn't have heard you either way, it’s just a desperate attempt.
“Ellie,” you hear your dad call as the girl sits there in disbelief at what just happened. “Are you okay?” You hear him ask her.
You worry if she’s bit, you want to ask if she’s okay too, but all you can focus on is Sam, you wait if he’ll move at least his chest to show he’s breathing.
Your dad tries to move toward Ellie, but he comes to a quick stop as Henry points his gun at him. He’s just shocked, that’s it.
Thinking he won’t do anything to you, you take another step towards Sam.
However, that's when you hear an abrupt stop. “No…don’t.”
You snap your gleaming eyes towards Henry, and see him pointing his gun at you now. Your dad quickly notices his new aim, and slowly puts his arm across you to try and shield you.
Henry’s just shocked. He’s just…shocked.
“Easy, easy, easy,” your dad tries to calm Henry down whilst he puts his hands out to try and grab the gun in Henry’s hand.
“Henry,” you call out quietly.
Said man's eyes drift to you, and tears immediately fill his eyes at the sight of you. “What did I do?” He asks you.
You try to tell him that he helped Ellie, that his brother was going to hurt her, but you can’t…you can’t muster a single word since you’re still in denial yourself.
“What did I do?” Henry asks again and keeps his gun pointed at you. “What-what-what did I do?” His eyes drift to his brother still on the floor, and you follow his line of gaze, realizing now—no, accepting at that moment as he lay still, as more blood spilled out of him, that Sam was gone.
It hits you like a bullet to the flesh, so suddenly. The realization shakes your entire core, making that painful anguish that you had pushed back bust through that shield of denial.
He’s gone. Sam’s gone. He was infected and now he’s gone.
“Sam?” The sound of Henry’s broken voice snaps your watery gaze back to him.
“Henry, gimme the gun?” Your dad pleads softly.
“Henry,” you call out quietly through tears. “Henry, please.”
Said man’s eyes drift to you and your dad, but he then focuses solely on you.
“Gimme the gun,” your dad continues to say. “Gimme the gun.”
“Henry,” you interject in a brittle voice, and take a step towards him to try and take the gun. “Just give me the gun, okay? Let’s talk.”
Henry holds your gaze for a moment and blinks before looking at Sam again. And finally he begins to lower his hand.
You try to encourage him, “yeah just—” but you cut yourself off immedietly as you see him move his hand to now point the gun at himself instead. You know what he intends to do, you yell at him to stop, but a gunshot goes off, causing you to quickly cover your ears. Yet you still hear a loud thump hit the floor.
Now…you just stand there, looking at the now empty space where Henry had one stood. You stand there frozen and quiet. You stand there panting, and with dry eyes.
Your dad stands before you, he talks to you, you see his mouth moving, but you don’t register his muffles that go through your covered ears because you can’t accept this now. If you keep looking at the wall, it’s like nothing ever happened. If you keep your eyes on the wall you won’t have to accept it, if you stand here time will stop….
You hoped anyway. You wished.
“Y/N! Look at me, baby,” you hear your dad yell at you, making you snap your eyes to him before you slowly drift your eyes down to see….
Oh god.
Oh god….
You drop your hands from your ears, and gasp as it feels like the air in your lungs is knocked out of you at the sight of his lifeless body, at the feeling of realization slamming into you, piercing your very heart now and shattering it and your entire being.
Henry’s gone. He’s gone just like Sam. They’re both gone….Henry’s gone….
But maybe…
“Henry?” You call out desperately as you watch him, hoping he’ll wake up. “Henry?” You call out again and step away from your dad to walk to Henry. “Henry, please,” your voice quivers as he remains unresponsive.
“Henry,” you mewl and fall on your knees beside him, on the pool of blood that now surrounds his upper body. “Henry.” You whisper and slowly reach for him to turn him face up. That’s when you see his lifeless eyes, the blood that now stains his face, and the tear stains on his cheeks. And it hits you again, but now it’s more powerful, more painful.
“No,” you cry and shake your head. “No, please Henry,” you sob and cradle his face for a moment before you cradle his body. “No, no….” You drop your forehead on his and shakily gasp for air as you can’t stop crying. “Please…please…someone help me….Henry…don’t do this to me, please.”
A hand falls on your shoulders, making you gasp and look back.
“Y/N,” your dad whispers.
“Daddy,” you mutter, “you have to help me. Please. Please.”
“Oh baby…”
You shake your head as he cradles your face in his hands.
“Dad,” you cry out desperately. “Please!”
He shakes his head, and tears fill his eyes only because he sees the heartbreak in your eyes as you hold your partner's dead body in your arms.
“He’s gone,” your dad says.
No.
No.
No…
You pull your face away from your dads hold to look back at Henry, and lay your head on his chest.
He’s gone and there’s nothing you can do about it. Again. Someone else is gone and you can’t do anything about it. So you close your eyes and cry against him out of defeat, heartbreak, and agony.
“We can bury them,” your dad says softly. “Come on.”
Slowly he takes his body from you, and you let him, and just sit there. He takes Sam’s body soon thereafter, you can’t tell when, time just loses meaning, it all blends together.
Eventually you make it outside to where your dad and Ellie had buried Henry and Sam. You don’t know how, or when exactly you walked out, but feel the chilly breeze of the morning hit you, you feel the brightness burn your retinas for a moment until you grow accustomed to the brightness.
You see them no longer, only dirt over two unmarked graves. You feel only tears roll down your cheeks, and that agony in your heart as you realize you’ll never see them again, you won’t go to Jackson together.
You sit between their graves and just lose your gaze on the grass brushing against the wind. You sit there cold and hopeless. You sit there even as Ellie puts Sam’s board down on his grave, as you hear her speak to your dad once she’s up and behind you.
“Which ways west?” She asks.
There’s silence before there’s retreating footsteps. You were moving on, you had to, there was no one else to wait for now, there was no one else to go with now.
“Y/N,” your dad breaks the silence. “I have to tell you something…”
You keep your eyes lost on the grass, and wait for him to continue.
“Ellie…she’s immune…”
Is this some joke? Some sick fucking joke?
You gasp and peer at him over your shoulder to shoot him a disgusted glare.
“Dont,” you croak because of all of your crying. “Don’t fucking joke.”
He stands there with a serious, deadpanned look on his face. “I’m not,” he assures you. “It’s true, I saw her get bit and she didn’t turn. Do you really think I would joke about that?”
You blink in disbelief and look back at the grass ahead of you.
Joining the fireflies built a hope in you that maybe there was a chance for the world to get better. It was hard not to believe what they believed in, for a hope for humanity. A hope that could’ve saved so many lost friends…that could’ve saved Sam. So hearing this now coming out of your dads lips isn’t completely unbelievable, not to you.
“That’s why I need to take her to your uncle Tommy,” he continues. “So he can take her to the Fireflies.”
So he? He?
As if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped on you, now you’re hit with a cold reminder, your anger towards your father. Those words he just spoke trigger it, the heartbreak you bear now only fuels it, blinding you with rage.
“So what?” You scoff, and stand up to spin around and face him with that burning anger in your watery eyes. “You’re going to dump another one of your burdens on uncle Tommy? Just like you did me?”
Your dad shakes his head and mutters out, “you’re just upset. Let’s go, we can talk about it later.”
You shake your head and step towards him to continue. “I have every right to be upset! I have every right to be mad at you, you left me,” you whisper and feel angry tears now roll down your cheeks. “You…you!” You cry out and hit his chest.
“Y/N,” he mutters and averts his gaze.
You swallow back the thick lump that grows in your throat and spat back. “Why? Hm? All I ever did was love you, even if you were mean—”
“I kept you alive,” he cuts you off bluntly with his eyes barely on you.
“Yes,” you scoff. “But I still needed my dad….” Your voice quivers. “And…you still left…Why? W-was it because I…was never good enough for you? I’m sorry….I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect daughter, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough then. I’m sorry I wasn’t worthy enough for you to stay with me, for you to take me with you.” You sniffle and wipe away your tears. “I'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to call me throughout all those years. I waited,“ you mumble. “I did. But no.” You shake your head and wipe your tears away.
“I just hope you don’t hurt that girl the same you did me,” you continue. “I hope she’s the daughter I never was for you.” You scoff and hit your hands against your thighs.
“No, don’t say that,” he interjects. “And don’t pit your anger against her.”
You let out a shaky sigh and tilt your head down slightly as you keep your eyes on him. “I’ll take you to uncle Tommy,” you add bluntly. “But that’s it. I’m done with you after that.” You shove past him and pick up your backpack and rifle off the floor. You make it to the street but stop to add one more thing as you see Ellie a few feet away waiting for you and your dad to catch up.
“I won’t pit my anger against her. I just hope you do better.”
——
*A MONTH LATER*
It was quiet. Not outside; you can hear the birds chirping their morning song as the sun slowly rises, you can hear Ellie shuffling on the ground restlessly. It’s quiet inside your mind.
At first, those first few days after, your mind raced with different possibilities, denial, different outcomes…hopes. It was loud with anger, but now it’s quiet. Now as you hold the cold gold sun pin in your fingers your mind is just absolutely quiet, all there is is a picture of him, Henry, in your head.
There’s a coldness in your heart. Another gap missing that he and Sam left. It makes those nights you had to sleep, sleepless, restless. Like now. Your dad let you sleep, but you couldn’t keep your eyes closed, you couldn’t get that….that scene of a month ago out of your head. Everytime you close your eyes you see Henry and Sam, see them lying on the ground with blood around them. Their deaths replay in your head over and over again until you open your eyes. So it’s easier just to stay awake and study the sun pin in the silence….
Then again it’s not so quiet outside….Ellie keeps moving. You flip to your other side and the first thing that you notice is your dad passed out…
What a damn good watchman. Old man.
Pft.
You drift your eyes across from you and see Ellie has her back turned to you. She’s still for like a minute before she moves again.
Maybe she’s thinking about them too? Because she can’t be asleep with all that moving.
You haven’t talked to her since it happened—no, lies you did but it was just like a few words, “do you want some of my food?” “Do you want to help me keep watch?”. She was always eager for both, but beside that nothing else was said. And you do know what grief is, you know how it feels, she may not have known them long, but Sam and her still bonded, their deaths were still…impactful…
It’s not like your dad has talked about it anyway. It’s not like he would.
“Hey,” you whisper and stretch your foot out to tap her. “Are you awake?”
There’s a second of silence before Ellie slowly looks back and looks a bit disbelieved. “Yes,” she mutters.
You spare one glance at your dad to make sure he’s still sleeping before you continue. “Do you want to go for a walk? He passed out.”
Ellie pulls down her sweater and looks down to see for herself before she meets your gaze and answers hesitantly. “Sure.”
You smile softly and tuck the pin in your pocket before you get up, and very carefully grab your backpack and gun off the ground. Ellie grabs her gun and leaves her backpack where it is. As you head out she just does one more double take to make sure your dad is still sleeping, before she runs over to catch up to you heading to the windmill that’s across the small abandoned farmhouse you were camping at for the night.
“So,” Ellie rolls out with a slow head nod. “Can I hold your gun?”
You hold onto your backpack strap and look over at her with slight curiosity. “Do you know how to use it?” You ask her.
Ellie shakes her head. “I can be taught though.”
You hum and look back at the windmill you're walking to and give her a proposition. “How about you can keep watch through the scope. Feel the weight first.”
“It’s better than nothing,” she groans.
You scoff softly in amusement and open the wooden door to let her walk in first, before you close the door and follow her up the creaky wooden stairs against the wall, until you reach a platform that’s put against the window that overlooks what was once a secluded farm.
“Here,” you interject, and put your gun down to sit on your knees so you can take off your poncho and lay it on the dirty ground. “You can sit there.” You then proceed to take off your jacket and lay it over your spot. “And I’ll sit here.” You mumble and sit back down.
Ellie looks down and hesitates. “We’re already dirty anyway.”
You shrug. “But now you won’t be cold, and you’ll be comfy.” You click your tongue.
Ellie spares you a quick glance before she sits, she wants to reach for your gun, but she suddenly stops and goes wide eyed.
“Oh my god,” she gasps and crawls closer to you. “You have tattoos! No way!” She grins and studies the tattoos on your arm. “That’s so cool.”
You smile softly, and turn your body so she can see the crescent moon tattoo shaped from curved lines; it almost looks like it was a smoke moon. She then hovers her fingers over the small stars that are scattered around the area, and then looks down at the falling angel woman. But lastly she takes her time on one in particular, a small one on your forearm.
“What’s this?” She asks and points to it.
You look down and giggle. “What did you think it is?”
Ellie scoffs and smirks. “A dick?”
You smirk. “It’s supposed to be a middle finger. My uncle Tommy and I got drunk for my 21st birthday. He wanted to give me a tattoo so he drew a hand giving the middle finger, but he, uh,” you snort. “Failed, so now I will always have a little dick tattoo.”
Ellie snickers and sits back down with your rifle in hand.
You move your arm and twist your body to show her the back tattoo. “I also have this one.” You point out.
Ellie shifts back around, and you give her a few seconds before you turn to sit back.
“That’s so cool!” She says with a smile. “I want one.”
You glance over the golden grass and smile softly. “My friend, she does tattoos. Perhaps when you’re older she can do something on you. Just don’t get it while drunk.”
“Why stars and a moon?” Ellie probes.
You shrug softly. “I liked it, and I like the Galaxy, the moon, everything.”
Ellie turns her head, and you see a wider smile. “Really? That's nice, I do too. Or more the aspect of going to space.”
You grin and look at her. “Really? That’d be cool. Like, uh,” you snap your fingers until you remember the name. “Like Sally Ride.”
Ellie's eyes go wider. “Yes!” She exclaims. “Exactly like her! Like if I could choose a way to die, I would die up there in space, after I flew up there of course.”
“Of course,” you mumble and stare up at the sweet colored sky as the sun slowly overtakes the night sky. “I mean it would be a very cool way to die. No oxygen, but a view of earth and the vacuum of space.”
Ellie follows your line of gaze and smiles softly as she nods slowly. “Yeah,” she whispers.
Silence follows after that. Deafening, but peaceful silence.
Yet that peace soon begins to turn to gloom the more the sun rises and you remember why you’re here.
“Do you,” you interject, but pause to look down at your fingers not covered by your gloves. “Do you want to talk about what happened last month?” You can’t even mention their names. Not yet. Not without it aching.
Ellie drops her gaze to focus on the fields of grass, and lets out a deep exhale before she shakes her head. “No…not really. Not yet.”
You hum softly. “That’s alright,” you assure her. “Well I’m here, you know, 24/7. If you want to talk.”
It may not be a lot to offer, but it’s those very words that meant a lot to you when you were told them by your uncle, Maria, or your friends. Yes, you haven’t been the most welcoming, or the nicest person with her, but at first you were slightly jealous, then you were too sad, but after that argument with your dad that jealousy had faded. Call it pettiness or what not, but you’re here now, and hope that at least she knows she can talk about her feelings with you and not have to hide them or brush them off.
He’d do that.
Nevertheless, there’s a brief moment of quiet before Ellie mutters in a serious tone. “Here in this windmill? Because that’s sort of inconvenient.”
You snort and break into a chuckle for the first time in a month. “You know what I meant fucker,” you mutter between laughs.
Ellie smiles proudly and nods.
Silence comes back as you keep watch, your smiles fade, but she soon interrupts. “You know I did have this problem last night actually.”
Your brows slowly furrow and you look at her with concern.
“I just stayed up all night wondering where the sun went…then it dawned on me.”
Your face slowly falls, and she looks over at you with a very proud smile. You let a second pass before you burst out laughing at her joke. She soon joins in and you’re both too lost laughing until your stomachs hurt.
When you’ve somewhat calmed down you add one you remember. “Okay, okay.” You clear your throat. “I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra…it was a booby trap.” You smirk.
Ellie shakes her head and laughs harder. “That was stupid.”
You nod and once again begin to laugh along with her, not realizing in that moment as you were both distracted that your dad was now inside the windmill lost listening in to the both of you.
When your laughs die down you take advantage of this moment and pull your backpack to your lap to unzip it, and pull out an additional Walkman. “I feel like you’ll enjoy this,” you tell her and then search your backpack for a specific cassette.
Ellie slowly puts down the rifle and watches you pull out a small plastic box.
“The Smiths,” you mention and open the box to insert the cassette. “Very good band.” You smile and hand her the Walkman. “Listen to it when you can, or when you can’t sleep. Just don’t lose the cassette ‘kay? It’s my friends.”
Ellie hesitantly takes the Walkman and headphones. “Are you sure?” She asks quietly.
You nod. “I have my own. I had that as a spare, but you can keep it. When you’re done with that album, let me know, I can give you more music to listen to while we find more.”
Ellie slowly smiles softly, and meets your gaze. “Thanks.” She whispers.
You offer her a smile, and don’t realize that for that moment sharing your music as Sarah once did with you, laughing with Ellie felt the best you’ve felt in a long time; you didn’t feel sad, or angry. You felt good, at peace, and a sense of familiarity you haven’t felt in years.
——
*2 MONTHS LATER*
Winter has fully embraced the earth, providing some sense of what month it can be. Between Kansas City and here you’ve lost track of the days. You know with every feeling in you that Jackson is only a couple days out.
Seeing Maria, your uncle Tommy, your friends, and your house is only a couple days out. Finally!
“You don’t seriously believe them,” Ellie remarks as she stomps out of the cabin of this old couple living a quiet life in the middle of nowhere.
Which honestly isn’t half bad. You only wish to grow old like them and live with….with someone…
“They’ve lived here a long time,” your dad rebuttals as he leads the way off the property. He then stops and looks back as he hears only one pair of footsteps following him.
You then proceed to stop too and glance back, catching Ellie robbing one of the rabbits that the man that had found you killed.
“Put that back,” he tells her and then continues to lead the way.
“What about you, y/n, I mean you’ve lived around here,” Ellie pulls you into the conversation.
You scoff softly and wait for her to catch up. “Well all I’ll say is that it’s a bunch of superstition, okay?” You tell her without giving away too much of what awaits beyond the River. “There’s no River of death, nothin’.”
“So they don’t know anything?” She points out and falls beside you, letting you finally continue to follow your dad. “Because they’ve also never heard of the Fireflies.”
“It’s hard to hear much living so secluded,” you explain and look ahead, catching in that moment your dad stops and leans against a wooden pole.
Is he really that scared of some fear the old couple have? Because it’s only to scare people away, it isn’t true.
Is he still tired? He’s panting.
“Joel? Joel?” Ellie calls out, and shares a slightly concerned and confused look with you before she walks over to him, while you watch him with higher concern that freezes you a bit.
“Joel, are you okay?” She asks and gets closer to him as he stays leaning against the pole. “Joel?”
“Shut up,” he quips at her.
You blink and snap out of your stupor to make your way to him too. “Dad,” you call out.
“Holy shit, are you dying?” Ellie remarks, making that fear you didn’t feel before spark now at the sound of her words, even if he shakes his head.
Is it his heart? He is old now.
What if it is his heart?
“Dad?” You call out and walk past Ellie to look at his face, noticing his eyes are closed and his hand is in a tight fist. It’s like he’s in pain…
“I’m okay,” he mutters breathlessly.
You know you haven’t talked much in the past three months, your anger is still pretty alive and heightened to the point you can’t hold his gaze sometimes for more than a few seconds. But he still is your dad, and you still do very much love him…more than anything. It’s just hard being with him right now. It’s hard.
“Okay, okay,” he keeps repeating, and you grow more concerned.
“Okay, are you okay? It doesn’t sound like you are,” Ellie keeps panicking.
“I’m fine.”
“But are you because just a reminder that if you’re dead, I’m fucked—”
“Ellie,” you warn, and step closer to him. You feel like freezing, like covering your ears at the sight of his trouble, but you muster the strength to carefully grab his arm, and call to him again. “Daddy.”
As if snapped back to reality by your touch, and your voice so close, he snaps his eyes to you and calms his breathing immediately.
“Are you okay?” You ask him.
He swallows thickly and holds your gaze for a moment before he snaps back. “I said I’m fine.”
Huh. You pull your hand away and nod. “Okay.”
“It’s just the cold air all of a sudden,” he explains what can be true, but what sounds like bullshit.
“All right,” Ellie says and continues to walk ahead. “Uh, so let’s go and find Tommy and the Fireflies.”
You linger your gaze on your dad for a few more seconds as you try to find some sort of symptom. But he did brush Ellie and you off harshly so, instead you leave him be and follow after Ellie.
“It’s gonna be easy,” Ellie adds and almost trips going up the snowy hill. “All we have to do is cross the River of Death.”
You roll your eyes at the fact that she’s believing it so easily, but still don’t try to correct anyone. Instead you comment on something to lighten the mood.
“We might have to wait to find the Fireflies.”
Ellie looks back with slight concern and presses. “Why?”
You look down at the snow you’re walking over and smirk. “Well it’s not summer yet.” You look up at her and shoot her a smile.
Ellie rolls her eyes and looks back. “That was stupid,” she remarks as she hides her amused smile.
“You liked it,” you mutter and pull on your backpack straps to tighten them. “You know it.”
“Maybe I can laugh at all your jokes if you teach me what you did back there, to that guy in Kansas City a few months ago,” she says.
She saw that?
You let out a soft sigh, and brush away what threatens to resurface about Sam and Henry to solely focus on what she wants. “Well, one, you don’t gotta pretend to like my jokes to get something out of me. You could've just asked.”
Ellie shrugs. “I ask Joel to teach me stuff and he says no,” she argues. “I thought you’d be the same.”
You scoff. “Well no, I ain't. And two, always read the room, Kathleen prided herself on loyalty, she wasn’t going to risk letting me kill the guy. I knew that so I acted,” you share your technique.
“Uh, huh,” Ellie notes everything down mentally.
“Two, body stance, look at how they’re standing, how tight their finger is on the trigger, if it’s too tight you’ll get shot at that moment,” you continue. “Three, act fast, hit the weak points to paralyze them. Men, the groin is a good one, for both men and women, throat, eyes, knees, temple, nose, jaw and shins. And then get them to the ground, or your stance of choice to threaten them. But always make sure they can’t and aren’t reaching for any weapons, okay? You’ll lose the higher ground if they do.”
Ellie looks over her shoulder, showing off her little smirk. “Okay, got that, but now what about a physical demonstration?” She asks.
You nod. “Sure, once we find somewhere to camp.”
Ellie shoots you a partial grin and nods in comprehension. “Cool.” She looks back ahead. “Your joke was stupid by the way.”
You snicker and run up to catch up to her. “Yeah. How about yours, Will Livingston, huh?”
She snickers and shrugs, bringing silence that follows the three of you for a while. You just walk, walk and walk for miles, down hills, up them, past dryer terrain and even snowier ground. Past a horizon of the setting sun, and under clear skies. All up until you reach a valley that overlooks the river the couple had mentioned on the map your dad insists on carrying even if they have you guiding the way
“The River of Death,” Ellie comments. “Scary.”
“Don’t start,“ your dad warns her bluntly.
You on the other hand watch the distant running river and sigh with relief. You’re almost home.
“It’s too close to dark,” your dad mentions. “There’s some caves along the river. We’ll set up camp there, cross in the mornin’.”
“Good,” Ellie says. “I'm starving. Should’ve stolen two rabbits.”
“We can get our own rabbits,” your dad counters.
You scoff at his comment, and see him give you a side eye.
“You gonna teach me how?” Ellie asks with hope.
Only to be shot down by your dad. “Just keep movin’.”
“Y/N?” Ellie now drifts her question to you.
You look over at her and think for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure let's just get more bullets first, or maybe a bow and arrow.”
Ellie snaps her eyes to your dad and shoots him a smirk. “See,” she quips. “Someone’s nice.” And then she proceeds to continue walking.
You scoff and roll your eyes before you also proceed to continue walking even more. Luckily this time you don’t end up walking far, your dad finds a cave somewhat deep in the woods to set up your last camp.
As always you’re all quick to eat as that’s what you’re looking forward to the most throughout the long days of walking, and avoiding danger. As always it’s quiet between you and him. He doesn’t attempt to talk to you, nor do you attempt to talk to him. Something stands in the way now, a tension…a fear that runs in the both of you.
The one thing that fills the awkward and tension filled silence is Ellie.
“Oh my god!” She exclaims and jumps off her seat to run off towards the giant rock in front of the cave.
“Ellie,” your dad mutters.
You look up from your food and see the sky beginning to glow as it fills with beautiful dancing colors of bright green, and hints of purple light. Northern lights.
You smile softly and shove the last bit of food in your mouth before you follow Ellie towards the rock to get a better view of them from the top.
“Beautiful huh? You know why they happen?” You ask Ellie as you sit beside her on the rock.
Ellie keeps her head up to continue admiring the dancing hues, and shakes her head. “Do you?” She redirects.
You hum and nod. “I read it in a book once, it happens when charged particles collide with gasses in Earth's upper atmosphere. Those collisions then produce tiny flashes that fill the sky with colorful light.”
Ellie looks down and meets your gaze. “Hm, interesting.” She says sincerely with a soft smile as she looks up again.
“There’s a lot of lore behind them, different beliefs,” you add quietly. “Some people think of them as bad omen, others as positive….what really stuck with me is this one belief I got told once by an old lady in Jackson…” you pause and slowly look down at your hands as that sadness, that grief, that agony, presents itself in you again after having pushed it away all day.
“She said that the lights are the souls of the departed…ancestors, those….” You swallow thickly and feel your eyes and throat begin to sting. “You lost.” You reach in your pocket and pull out the sun pin you kept inside, you fiddle with it and watch it reflect the lights that dance above.
“I like that one,” Ellie whispers.
You nod as your eyes fill with tears. “Me too.” You let out a deep sigh and flicker your eyes up to watch the sky again, to admire its beauty.
Ellie and you stay up there, basking in the lights and the silence until your dad whistles and cuts in. “Come down from there. Y’all gonna break your necks.”
Impossible….maybe a sore neck…
Regardless you both climb down and huddle back near the fire.
“Ah,” Ellie interjects. “Can I have some?”
You put the pin away and glance over at your dad, noticing the flask of alcohol in his hand.
“No.” He shakes his head.
“What?” Ellie argues. “Just to warm up. C’mon.”
Your dad rolls his eyes slightly but gives in, making you pass the flask to Ellie.
“Thanks,” she mutters, and looks at the metal flask for a second before raising it up as a speechless cheers.
You think she’d hesitate to take a sip, but she takes the drink without a fight.
Honestly, it’s very funny. Especially when she pulls it down and scrunches her face in disgust.
“Yep,” she groans. “Still gross.” She nudges it to you now. “Sip?”
You look at it and shake your head. “I’m fine. Thanks.” You grab the flask and hand it back to your dad.
“So I’ve been thinking,” Ellie continues to fill the silence.
“Hm?” You probe curiously, and press your hands down on the cold ground to lean back.
“Let’s say we find the Fireflies,” she says, “it all works, they draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines and make a cure.”
“Okay?” You hear your dad say.
“Then what? Like, what do we do?”
“Oh, it’s we?” Your dad retorts, kind of rudely may you add.
“Okay,” Ellie corrects herself. “Fine. Whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?”
That’s an interesting question.
You glance over at your dad and wait.
“It’s never been an option,” he answers and looks up to the sky as he clears his throat. “Maybe,” he sighs. “An old farmhouse, some land, a ranch.”
He’s said that once, when you were young, he said he was working to get one, that you could all have all the free space you wanted, you could have horses, sheep, dogs, cats and goats. He’d said that once he’s old Sarah and you could live with him to take care of him and the animals. He always liked to talk about it.
Of course that was pre outbreak. You never heard that dream after. It’s nice that it hasn’t changed.
“Cool,” Ellie comments, but you can’t tell if she’s teasing him or actually interested. “What kind?”
“Sheep. I would raise sheep.”
You glance down at the fire and smile softly.
“Sheep,” Ellie whispers.
“They’re quiet,” your dad adds, making you snort softly. “Do what they’re told.”
You stifle your laugh and glance over at Ellie since you know it’s a jab at her.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ellie gets it. “Okay. So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic.”
You smile and spare your dad one teasing glance. He feels your gaze, he sees your smile finally directed at him after three months, and sighs softly.
“What about you, y/n?” Ellie asks.
You glance at her and then watch the dancing lights in the sky. “Well when I was young I wanted to be a performer like Britney Spears.” You grin proudly.
“Who?” Ellie queries, but you don’t have time to answer since you continue.
“But now I want to become a movie star,” you smirk and look down at her. “An actress who stars in big movies. Like Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Kristen Dunst, Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, and my favorite, and my idol, Audrey Hepburn.” You beam at her and nod slowly.
Ellie squints and shakes her head. “I’ve heard of none of them.”
“You will soon enough, and you’ll know my name as well. Y/N Miller,” you throw your hands up in the air and glance at your dad with that grin, noticing him listening with intent and the corner of his lips slightly raised. “Famous movie star. Survivalist. And the most talented and prettiest.”
Ellie snorts and nods along again. “I actually think that’s pretty cool. I mean you’ll probably be the only one, but it’s nice.”
“Thank you,” you beam at her and put your hands down. “I won’t forget to mention you in my speech when I win my Oscar.” You wink and then press her now. “What about you? Where are you gonna go?”
Ellie gently punches her legs and looks up. “It’s probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there’s ocean, and ahead of you, there’s a wall.” She looks down between you and your dad. “Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?”
Yes.
“Sally Ride,” your dad guesses correctly.
“Sally fuckin’ Ride!” She whispers excitedly. “Best astronaut name ever.”
You smile softly and in admiration. Silence follows, and her own smile fades, her gaze gets lost ahead of her, and you sense sorrow.
“It’ll work, right?” She then asks, making your smile fall. “The vaccine?”
You sigh and sit up to drag your legs against your chest, and hug them tightly.
“It’s a little late to start wonderin’” your dad retorts.
“I tried,” she says. “With Sam.”
Your frown immediately deepens, and your heart begins to sink.
“Tried what?” Your dad probes.
“I knew he was infected,” Ellie answers, and you see her glance at you. “I rubbed some of my blood into his bite. I know. I know it was stupid. But I…I wanted to save him.”
Your eyes water again, that anguish crawls back up, and memories haunt you.
“Well, I reckon it’s a lot more complicated than that,” your dad tells her. “Marlene, she’s a lotta things, but she’s no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.”
They hope….you hope too.
For him. For Sam.
After that silence returns, which is abruptly interrupted. “Who wants to take first watch and second watch?” Ellie asks to change the subject.
You part your lips to volunteer, but your dad quickly interrupts before you can.
“I’ll do both. you girls should get some sleep.”
You snap your eyes to him and get ready to argue, but once again he beats you to it.
“Y/N, it’s okay, I can do it. Tomorrow we’ll be with Tommy, and I can sleep then.”
You hesitate for a moment but you know you’ll get nowhere, so you give in.
“Dream of sheep ranches on the moon,” he adds as you and Ellie grab your sleeping bags.
“I will,” Ellie agrees. And you just scoff softly and leave it at that.
——
Sleep comes, but you don’t last long, eventually the nightmares take over; the same ones from the past three months, and all you can do is stay up to avoid seeing all of it. It would make a boring and long night, but you find yourself entertained by watching your dad.
He sits against the cave wall, he watches the sky, he watches the dark shadows in the forest, and occasionally he glances over to watch you and Ellie sleep. He seems to be looking for something, a sign of life. Once he finds it he’d look away and go back to keeping watch. That’s when your head spins and you begin to wonder why he left you?
What was his reason? Grief?
Because you feel it, you understand it. Perhaps not before, not the moment you lost Sarah, but after losing Henry?
That need to just go away, to cave into yourself, to hide and never come out? To…not keep going, to just end it as it seems like life has little meaning? You understand that. You want to do it everyday. Is that why?
Or was it fear? Just cause?
Did you do something wrong?
Or were you not enough? Were you not…her?
If you could, you'd bring her back to him. If somehow there was a chance, you would. You’d bring back Sam and Henry. Even if it meant you’d be gone forever, you’d do it.
If seeing Sarah again would make him happy you’d do it. Anger and resentment aside, you’d do it….
Nevertheless…as you’re caught up in your own thoughts, he ends up passing out.
What an old man.
To keep him that way so he can get the rest he needs you get up and keep watch for him. Ellie soon joins you and you let sleep as you both keep watch while the sun rises again, and the day turns bright.
During your watch you taught Ellie the move she wanted to learn; which she learns fast and gets very happy about. You talked about stupid stuff, and then watched some more until he woke up abruptly.
“Still mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie comments as he looks up panicked. “We woke up early. You were passed out, so we took second watch.”
“Y/N,” your dad scolds you.
You just shrug and brush him off.
“You gotta wake me up if that happens,” he rebuttals and gets up. “You can’t do things like this, Ellie.”
“But I can,” she counters sassily. “‘Cause I just did. Besides, y/n was with me the entire time.”
“She’s older, she knows stuff,” he quickly snaps back. “She’s not responsible for you, I am, okay?”
“Then don’t fall asleep,” she sasses him. “We were quiet, We checked our six, we looked for tracks, we found the high ground, and we kept watch,” she assures him as he gets near. “like you and she taught me too. And y/n let me hold the gun the entire time.” She quips and shares a proud glance with you. “What can I say, man? I'm a natural.”
“Uh-huh,” he nods. “Give her the gun.”
Ellie sighs and turns to hand you back your gun. You then proceed to hang it around your shoulder, and listen to him direct her a comment.
“You wake me up next time.”
“Yes, sir,” Ellie agrees. “But only if y/n is not here.” She shoots him a smile.
Your dad rolls his eyes and groans. “Fine,” he says in defeat. “C’mon pack up, let’s get goin’.”
As usual the day consists of endless fucking walking which was getting more annoying the closer you were to home. It’s like a fucking dread. And today it seemed colder out—but that’s probably due to the falling snow and the winder winds.
Once you assure Ellie and your dad that River is safe to cross, you make it to the other side and put your mask up over half of your face, you put your hood over your head to block out the cold and keep as warm as you can.
The closer you got home, the more the grounds seemed familiar, the more your excitement rose. That becomes especially so as you get close to the dam.
“We’re almost there,” you squeal. “We’re almost home.” You quicken your pace, but look back as you the sound of Ellie blowing out air catches your attention. “Whatcha doin’?”
“I’m learning how to whistle,” she explains as she catches both you and your dad looking back at her now.
“You don’t know how to whistle?” Your dad queries.
Ellie pulls her hand out of her mouth to rebuttal. “Does it sound like I know how to whistle?”
“No,” you retort and look back ahead. “Just put your lips together and blow.
“I’ve tried that! It doesn’t work!”
You smirk and do it yourself before you look back at her to do it again.
Ellie shoots you a pointed glare and drops her hand to her side. “Well now you're just showing off,” she spats. “No one likes a show off.”
You smirk and counter. “Everyone likes me, so I guess it’s wrong.”
Ellie scoffs. “Have you ever heard of the word humble? Won’t hurt to know its definition.”
You grin and look ahead. “I do know it actually.” You whistle one more to piss her off.
This time she doesn’t retort back, instead you suddenly feel a snowball hit your back.
“Hey!” You exclaim and look back.
Ellie shoots you a smirk. “Show off,” she quips without shame.
You let out a small huff and stop walking to bend down and make a snowball. Ellie knows what you’re going to do and begins to walk back with a grin.
“Don’t,” she laughs and puts her hand out.
“Whistle,” you say. “And I won’t throw it. Oh wait,” you snicker. “You can’t.”
Ellie quickly bends down and collects a snowball, causing you guys to stay at a standstill to wait who’d throw it first.
“Throw it and I’ll push you in,” she threatens.
You begin to walk back and taunt her again with a whistle.
“Fucker!” Ellie runs and throws it, but you manage to turn out of the way, and it ends up hitting the back of your dads legs.
Ellie’s eyes go wide, and you and her stifle your laughs as he stops and looks back.
“It was me,” she admits with a smirk, and you let your snowball fall, and snicker.
Your dad looks between the two of you, he lets his gaze linger without saying anything. And when he does break his gaze away it’s to glance down at his wrist for a second before he lifts his eyes and lets out a deep annoyed sigh. “Enough foolin’ around, let’s go.” He grumbles and turns to continue on ahead, causing you guys to follow after him now.
“You guys should teach me how to hunt. Like, seriously,” Ellie says.
“Huh,” your dad breathes out.
“Huh,” Ellie mocks. “Like she’s a girl. she can’t handle it.”
“You can handle the shootin’” you assure her.
“Not so sure about the dressin’?” Your dad adds on to your comment.
“What’s the dressin’?” Ellie asks.
You look over at her and explain it to her. “It’s when you take the guts out.”
Ellie nods as she falls behind. “Oh, yeah. Why do they call it dressing? It’s like, you should call it undressing ‘cause it is. It’s like undressing from the inside.”
You hum in agreement and think about it now too.
“Still interested, though.” Ellie adds.
“I told you,” you tell her and grin as you see glimpses of the dam coming up. “Let’s just get more bullets, and we can do it.” You then run up ahead and stop at the top of the hill that overlooks the running water that goes through the dam.
Ellie and your dad catch up, and Ellie of course adds something to specialize the moment. “Dam.”
You and your dad share a judgmental gaze before he retorts for you. “You’re no Will Livingston.”
“Yeah, yeah, but who is?” She rebuttals. “So that made electricity?”
“Yeah,” your dad answers her. “Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.”
You smile wider and linger in your spot for a moment before you continue walking.
“You know, you could’ve just made something up,” Ellie interjects as they both follow you now whilst you try hard not to just run home out of pure joy. “I would’ve believed you.”
“You know,” you add on as you walk down, past the dam. “The dam still provides electricity. I’ve been told how, but I forgot, but there is light in Jackson, trust me.”
“Huh,” Ellie huffs out. “Well we're almost there aren’t we? We’ll see.”
“Yeah.” You mutter. “We will.”
Once you make it down you each step makes your heart beat pick up, each other footstep makes you wary since you know that the rangers out on pontrol should probably be approaching. It’s rare that they’d miss spotting the three of you.
“Look at that River,” Ellie points out. “It’s crazy blue. Hey, Joel, what if this is the River of Death?”
You hear him stop, so you stop even with your anticipation to get home, and wait for them. You watch him pull out his map to check what you’ve already pointed out.
“We’re close,” you break the silence. “Let’s go.”
As you take a few steps ahead, you come to a quick halt as the sound of horses neighing, their running footsteps steal your attention.
Your dad takes Ellie’s hand and tries to run away, while you stay in place and watch multiple people surround you, stopping Ellie and your dad right by you.
“Get behind me,” you hear your dad tell Ellie, before he grabs your hand and tries to pull you behind him too.
However, you slip your hand away and step forward again. You’re not scared, you recognize this tactic, you know the protocol, you know it’s them.
“We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble,” your dad interjects to try to ease the tension. “We’re just passin’ through.”
You glance around at all of them, all the faces of the people that surround the three of you. Since they all have hats, and masks over their faces it’s hard to identify who’s who. You doubt much has changed as far as routines go, maybe some people have been added here and there, but it should be the same otherwise. They might recognize you and ease the tension.
Albeit just as you lower your hand to take off your mask all guns point at you
“Keep your hands up!” The man at front yells.
“Yes,” you mutter and search the crowd again for Maria, she usually likes to patrol at the gate.
Behind you a dog begins to whine; maybe it’s the alert dog…fuck that’s right. Fuck.
“Drop the guns!” The man yells again.
You snap your gaze to your dad and give him an assuring nod before you both pull your guns off your shoulders, and place them on the ground. When you’re lifting your arms again is when you reach for your mask and pull it off, you then lift your hand further and pull off your hood, finally revealing your face to those ahead of you.
Again you search the crowd and behind the man you spot her, Maria. Her eyes land on you too and you see her ease her shoulders.
The man ahead lowers his gun slightly and squints his gaze slightly. “Holy shit,” he mutters. “The child protege returns.” He scoffs and glances back, you follow his line of gaze and see Maria getting off her horse, she lowers her mask and her eyes soften—“welcome home, Sunny.”
You smile with relief, and offer him a nod.
“You’re gonna have to stay there girl,” he adds. “You know the rules.”
You nod and look at Ellie and your dad. “It’s okay,” you mutter and keep your hands at your side.
“You been near infected?” He asks.
You shake your head and try to answer, but your dad beats you to it.
“There’s no infected out here.”
“The hell there ain’t,” the guy spats back and whistles, making a dog from ahead of you bark as he’s brought over.
Then who’s whining behind you?
“Last chance for a bullet. If you’ve been infected, he will smell it and he will rip you up.”
You swallow thickly and glance over at Ellie.
Usually the dog only detects active cordyceps, hers is…dormant considering it hasn’t spread? Or is it active?
Fuck.
The dog is let go from its leash and he first begins to walk to your dad. He first smells him to make sure, and once he smells nothing he jumps up and gives the all clear. After that the dog walks over to you, he smells your feet and your legs, before jumps on you and gives you the all clear.
“Good boy,” you coo at him and scratch him behind the ears.
The dog happily wags his tail before getting on all fours to walk back to his handler.
“Like I said, we’ll just move on,” your dad interjects. But it’s not that easy, they still need to make sure Ellie is clear. You can’t move otherwise, not even to greet Maria that is itching to meet up with you as much as you are to meet up with her.
“Now her,” they point to Ellie.
Your heart begins to race, and your mind begins to race faster. The dog begins to growl as he creeps towards her, so you look at your dad to see what he’d do, but you see that he’s frozen…he’s…frozen.
He must truly care about her….
Fuck.
You step back and face Ellie, and she looks over at you at that moment too to express her concern since your dad wouldn’t turn to face her.
“It's okay,” you mouth to her as the dog gets closer. “It’s okay.” You discreetly reach your fingers for your holstered gun. If the dog does detect the cordyceps then you’ll have to…wound it so he doesn’t hurt her, they’ll all probably hate you for it, but you can’t let her die.
The dog gets closer, he smells her for a few seconds before he looks up at her. You hold your breath and clench your jaw.
Ellie glances at you again, and you step forward, but the dog then barks and jumps on her, giving the all clear, and letting you relax and exhale deeply.
“Hi,” Ellie giggles and crouches down to pet the dog and let him lick her. “Hi!”
Now that he isn’t going to kill her, you look at the guy for the okay.
He catches you and points to Maria with his eyes. You immediately beam as your eyes begin to sting, and don’t wait a moment longer to break into a run towards her, meeting her halfway.
“Oh god,” she whispers as she throws her arms around you. “You’re here. You’ve been gone too long.”
You nod and ball up the material of her jacket in your fists as you nuzzle your head against her shoulder.
“I’m home,” your voice quivers, forgetting those you came with as you’re basked by the joy, and warmth of being in her arms again. It’s why you miss the curious stare of your dad, the confusion that grows within him, whilst Ellie begins to feel a spark of something deep within her, something she hasn’t felt about you before, jealousy…not for what you might have with Maria, but over how she holds you and what it can mean.
Sure at first she was slightly jealous of you, of how your father showed you affection, but that soon disappeared, quickly actually; the moment she saw you take down that man. And now after 3 months, after witnessing what happened 3 months ago together. After 2 months of you teaching her things she didn't know, things she wanted to know, now after having someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. Now after finally having another woman to bond with her instead of just your dad. After having no one but you and your dad, she’s grown quite attached to you too.
She knew you were heading home to your family, but something in her hoped you wouldn't be so overjoyed, she didn’t want you to stay with them. She wanted just you, your dad, and her. Even if she noticed how you and your dad barely even talked at the moment.
“You’re never leaving,” Maria says and rests her chin on your head. “You understand that?”
You laugh and nod. “Not plannin’ to.”
Maria tightens her hold around you for one more lingering second before she pulls back to grab your shoulders and look at you in the face, to see the happy tears that roll down your cheeks.
“Tommy is going to freak out,” she says with a happy smile. “I was so worried,” she sighs and caresses your cheeks as she looks deep into your eyes.
You try to hide it well, the sadness brought by your still very much active grief, but can she tell in this small interaction?
“I’m home now,” you assure her. “I’m okay.”
“Are you?” She asks.
You nod and offer her a brighter smile. “I…am.”
She hums, and caresses your chin once more before letting you go, and letting you turn to introduce who you’re here with now that you remember that you’re still surrounded. But before you can, a big red bloodhound comes running at you and tackles you to the ground with all its force to start licking you, and whining out of joy.
“Hey!” You hear Ellie exclaim with concern.
“Ahh,” you groan and keep tilting your head away so you wouldn’t be licked in your mouth. “That’s a good boy, Achilles,” you tell him. “I missed you too man, but you’re heavy.”
“Maybe he’ll help you get cleaned up,” you hear someone say as they approach you. “Achilles, get off her man.”
The dog does as he’s told, letting someone else come to view as they stand above you now, blocking the natural bright light that almost blinds you, but shines around his head like he’s some majestic being.
“Fuck,” he gasps and throws his hand out to offer it to you.
As if it can be possible you grin brighter at the sight of his familiar soft brown eyes that gleam with happiness, and his beaming smile that spreads on his square jaw. You take his hand and let him help you off the ground, you stay there in front of each of other for a lingering moment just staring at one another with longing that comes rushing back at you—you also notice he doesn’t seem to aged much, he looks pretty much the same, except for his hair, it’s longer, fluffier, and no longer shaven.
It looks good that way. It’s nice to see him again. seeing your best friend since you joined the fireflies years ago brings even more ease to your wounded heart. It makes you excited, so much so that you squeal before you throw your arms around his neck.
“Jesus,” he mutters as he holds onto you. “I knew you’d make it.” He nuzzles his head against your shoulder, and you close your eyes to nuzzle your face against him.
“I’m finally home,” you whisper as if you can’t believe it.
He hums and begins to rub your back, he lets you bask in his embrace until you’re the one that wants to let go.
“You grew out your hair,” you point out with a smile and brush back the ends of his hair. “I like it.”
You begin to turn to face your dad and Ellie, but he turns with you to keep holding your gaze with a soft look that matches yours.
“Yeah,” he scoffs and grows cocky. “I knew you were coming, so I was like, I’m going to grow it for her since I know she likes it that way.”
You roll your eyes, but keep your smile as you walk past him to face your dad and Ellie now.
“They’re okay,” you assure the group. “They’re with me. That man is,” you exhale and share a glance with Maria. “My dad, Joel, the girl is Ellie.”
Slowly they both put their hands down, but the guns remain pointed.
“You vouch for them?” The guy asks you.
You glance at him and meet his gaze to nod. “Yep.”
The guy nods in comprehension and lowers his gun, letting the others do the same.
“Let’s get them on some horses and get them inside,” the guy instructs.
You glance at Ellie and your dad once before you turn on your heels to follow Maria.
“That’s your dad?” Apollo asks quietly beside you as he makes his horse, and his dog Achilles follows him as you all head home. “Are you gonna present me or what?”
“Shut up, Apollo,” you snap back and nudge him.
Apollo laughs and looks back. “I kinda see it between him and Tommy.”
You giggle. “Well they are brothers. You and Atlas look alike for that same reason.”
“You and your sister didn't look alike,” Apollo quickly rebuttals.
You huff out. “‘Cause we were half sisters, duh, do you want it explained to you how that works? Mama,” you look at Maria up on her horse now. “You want to explain to Apollo how that works.”
“Don’t be an ass,” Apollo retorts and nudges you.
You giggle, and notice Maria smirk.
Not so long after that Ellie, your dad, and you are whisked to some horses, finally being able to rest your feet and not have to walk the rest of the way to Jackson. You come to recognize most of the rangers who had given you that cold welcome, and greet all those you knew and that knew you.
You weren’t inside the walls yet, you haven’t seen your uncle yet, but you did feel more safe now, more comforted now that you aren’t out in the open. Now that you’re only minutes from home.
“I can’t wait to share the hell I’ve been through these past two years,” you interject on your way home. “You guys won’t fucking believe it.”
Apollo glances over at you and narrows his gaze to quip. “Maybe.” He licks his lips and looks serious. “You should tell it in the form of a play, hm?”
He’s making fun of you, funny.
“Yeah,” you go along with him. “The adventures of y/n Miller, one woman show, the musical.” You smirk and bounce your eyebrows.
“Who would play you?” He counters. “‘Cause,” he says and sucks in air through his teeth. “I hate to break it to you, but singing isn’t for you, you can play the guitar, but it’s singing that just….” He shakes his head.
You drop your jaw, peel your eyes wide as if suddenly hit with excitement, and snap your fingers to share your thought. “I have the best idea. Maybe…your mom can do it?”
Apollo goes serious, and you stifle your laugh as you grin at him.
“Can I get a bump?” You tease him and stick your fist out at your other side to offer Ellie a fistbump since she’s riding beside you.
Ellie’s confused at first, but she doesn’t leave you hanging. Apollo shakes his head with a frown, so you now offer him your fist.
“Come on,” you encourage him. “Don’t leave me hanging, it was funny.” You giggle.
Apollo rolls his eyes but very lightly hits your fist. “Only because you’re back,” he mutters.
You shrug sweetly and shoot him a sweet smile.
“It was a lame joke,” Ellie mutters.
You roll your eyes to her and sigh. “Well, I think it works,” you assure yourself. “It was good at the moment.” You flash her a smile.
Jackson isn’t far now, you all make it there quickly by horse. That wooden wall comes to view soon, and after being gone for so long, it’s such a heavenly sight. What once felt like a trapdoor, what once felt like a cage is now nothing but paradise. Walking in was such a fucking relief too. There was instant comfort in all the buildings, some that have had some tweaks and others that remain the same.
“Welcome back home,” Maria tells you as the gates close behind you.
You shoot her a smile and continue to look around at all the people, and then focus on the Christmas decorations, letting you know come up to date with what month it was; December! It’s almost Christmas!
Yet, even as happy as you feel, there’s a sadness that stabs your heart, that reminds you of that pain…
Henry and Sam should be here. They should’ve made it this far, they should’ve seen all this. You promised them…
“Y/N?!”
You snap away from your thoughts and look behind you where the call had come from, that’s when you see another familiar face, a close friend from your firefly days, and Apollo’s younger brother.
You turn your frown the other way around so they won’t worry. “Atlas!” You call out and climb off the horse, letting the man behind you take it for you.
“I knew it was you!” Atlas exclaims as you both run to meet halfway in an embrace. “Holy fuck!” He chuckles. “Fuck! I thought you were dead!”
You laugh softly and pat his back. “I made it, like I said I would.”
He smiles and caresses the back of your neck with his soft hands. “We missed you. Home wasn’t the same without you.”
You pull back and offer him a happy smile. “You haven’t aged,” you point out.
“Nah,” he winks. “Just got more handsome.”
You scrunch your nose in disgust and pull away from him completely.
Atlas smirks and glances at the pair you came in with as they walk away further in town. “You’ve brought company.”
You nod and turn to walk after them now, seeing Apollo approach on foot. “Yeah, that’s my dad,” you let Atlas know.
Atlas snaps his head to you and furrows his thick dark eyebrows. “No fucking way. Like, your dad, dad?”
Why are they so in disbelief that he’s your dad? Is there something you’re missing?
“Yeah.” You nod and scoff. “Him.” You let out a sigh and watch Apollo fall by your other side now. “I’ve got a question,” you abruptly change the subject as curiosity grows. “Are you still with redhead Jessica?”
Atlas begins to snicker, but Apollo answers before his brother can blurt the news.
“We broke up.”
You perk up instantly.
“Yeah,” Atlas bounces off his brother's announcement. “She cheated on him.” He smirks.
What a relief…not the cheating part.
Well…kinda…
“Yeah,” Apollo sighs as he shoots his brother a glare. “It happened like a year ago.”
You smile and let him see it. “Bad news, told ya.”
“Whatever,” Apollo retorts.
“Atlas! You rangle up stragglers?!” You hear a woman shout.
Apollo and you snap your heads to the side, seeing Atlas spin around to walk backwards so he can look at the young girls that had spoken to him.
“Yep!” Atlas lies. “Bad ones too! I spotted them myself, kept them from getting shot.”
You and Apollo share an amused and judgemental look before continuing to watch Atlas, noticing at that moment a pile of shit that one of the horses dropped just now; and Atlas was walking right towards it.
“A thousand that he steps in it,” you offer Apollo.
Your friend scoffs and shakes his head. “No need, he’s going to step in it.”
You both snicker and watch Atlas continue to walk back.
“Let’s meet later while everyone is at the movies, I’ll tell you all about it, and my recent patrol!”
The girls giggle and nod. “Let’s do it!” One of the girls accepts.
Atlas shoots them a wink, and as he does he runs into the pile of hot horse shit.
Without looking, as if you hadn’t ever left, Apollo and you share a proud highfive at his brother's carelessness.
“Oh man!” Atlas exclaims. “What the hell?!”
“Y/N?!” Someone yells, this one more familiar and soothing than before.
You snap your eyes ahead, and there in the middle of the crowd that had greeted you outside the gates, beside your dad, is your uncle Tommy.
“Uncle Tommy!” You call back with instant tears filling your eyes as you’re slammed with unmeasurable relief, more bliss than you’ve felt since you saw your dad for the first time.
Your uncle Tommy smiles softly and without hesitation, before wasting another second you both break through barriers of space to collide, to throw your arms around one another and hold each other.
“Oh, babygirl,” he whispers as he caresses your back, and holds you in his arms tightly as if he would lose you if his hold was too loose.
“Uncle Tommy,” you cry after not being able to hold it any longer.
“Oh,” he breathes out. “My sweet Sunny.”
As you held him, as you cried into his shoulder, you felt finally home, secured. This was home. Him. Uncle Tommy. For so long he was all you had after your dad left, for so long even when your dad was there he was the light that didn’t flicker away. He was the hope you almost lost. He was home, just as much as you were his.
Yes, as you hugged him, as you held him close you did notice the faint look of hurt in your dads eyes as he saw the interaction, it hurt you seeing it. But isn’t this what he wanted when he left you? When he drove you away? When you weren’t enough for him?
When you weren’t enough for him to stay and be your dad?
.
Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201@maeneedsabreak@maelartasch@adristyles@daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27
#fanfiction#damn-stark#tragedy at the millers#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fanfic#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel miller x daughter!reader#joel miller fanfiction#Joel miller#Henry Burrell x fem!reader#henry tlou x fem!reader#henry the last of us#tlou henry#the last of us henry#henry and Sam#sam tlou#Ellie#ellie williams#tlou ellie#Tommy miller#tommy tlou#maria tlou#tlou Tommy#chapter 3#angst#the last of us
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Summary- Joel helps you through an Ed relapse
TW- eating disorder, check ups at a hospital, nurses, scales, talk about weight (no certain number mentioned), laxatives, slight cursing, slight heated argument, mention of diets (carbs, dairy), models, pet names (bunny, honey, baby doll etc), crying, kisses (please let me know if I missed any!)
A/N- This was very much inspired by @amyispxnk post about S/H. Actually, I got the idea to write another fic solely because not only has it helped her (at least I hope so) but others :) SO MASSIVE FOREHEAD KISSES TO HER <333 Like Amy, I cannot find a single fic about ED's and a character helping through it so here I am lmao. THIS IS A SENSITIVE TOPIC so please proceed with caution.This goes without saying that this is my experience and pretty much a vent post. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE IN CASE ANYTHING MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE/TRIGGERS YOU IN ANY WAY!! This is also probably going to be quite messy and unedited so I apologize for that!
If you are ever struggling my asks and messages are always open if you want to pop in and vent <33 (they are open anyways if you would like to request or even just talk ;)
Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appriciated and result in forehead kisses <33
TAGS and GORGEOUS MOOTS <3 @creedslove @morallyinept @lumoverheaven @vabeachazn @pedroswife69 @yourlocalmerchgirl @yorksgirl @jokersfangirl84 @tuquoquebrute @planet-marz1 @cool-iguana @dilfspitdrinker @theplumsoldier @pedrit0-pascalit0 @joelswritingmistress @studioghibelli @chibimosa @jennaispunk @pascalscoffin @mermaidgirl30 @phatghettorat
W/C- 2.1k
‘NEXT!’ a nurse appeared from around the corner and looked at you with beady brown eyes, startling you. You went in and noticed the blankness of the walls in the office, nothing but posters about the infection and other diseases you have not even heard of before.
‘Name?’ the nurse flatly asked, not even bothering to look up from her clipboard, a pen gripped in her pruny cold looking fingers.
‘(insert your name)’
‘date of birth’
‘(insert your date of birth)’
TRIGGER CONTENT!!!
So today you’re getting your height and weight checked, is that correct?
You looked at the nurse, slightly trembling as you nodded your head, unable to even form a sentence ‘ye-yeah I am’. You wished that Joel could be here with you. He would be able to answer the woman’s questions, give you a reassuring smile or even hold your hand as you stepped off the scale. Of course you couldn’t ask him that, you knew that he was overworked with the customers that could not get off his back and just had to keep changing the plans around, and adding a stupid visit to the hospital would probably send him into a frenzy if he found out why you needed to go.
After what seemed like hours you managed to choke out, not before having to sit in that gloomy, dead quiet waiting room what you just had to every single session ‘wou-would you mind not telling me what the number on the scale is? Pl-please?’
The nurse turned around and pursed her lips into an uncomfortable smile ‘of course. Now sit down on that scale and let me see the number.’
Trembling deer like legs carried your body towards the scale, your hands shaking as you sat yourself down and waited for the moment to be over, praying that the nurse doesn’t call out the number to another young woman who is standing just a few feet away now with the clipboard.
‘(insert a number)’ the nurse called out quietly but loud enough for you to hear. Your heart drops in an instant, beating a thousand miles per hour. Your mouth goes dry as paper sand and tears pool in your eyes trying hard not to break an embarrassing sob in the middle of a goddamn nurse’s office.
‘fuck, fuck, fuck. Did I seriously not lose at least a fucking pound.’
The nurse breaks your train of thought as she instructs you to stand on the height machine which you reluctantly do, wishing for the appointment to be other and so you don’t have to see her again. You knew it was a mistake going forward with the appointment even if your long term doctor was away on maternity leave.
‘why the fuck did I even come, oh god im gonna die. Im gonna die. Im gonna die.’ You repeat to yourself, almost like a prayer, wishing that the ground would swallow you up. You noticed your face getting hotter and vision blurring as you flatly and quickly thanked the women and left in a rush, almost tripping on your laces.
Once you get in your car that’s when the flood of tears erupt you supressed erupt from your eyes. You hit the steering wheel as you let out shaky sobs, running your mascara and leaving puffy bags under your eyes. You don’t even bother to fix your appearance as you knew Joel would still be at work for a couple more hours and hoped that you’ll feel better by then, even if the thoughts still stormed in your mind. ‘we made an agreement. If you didn’t lose a pound you know what younwere going to do to yourself’ a tiny voice reminded you, making you shiver as you remember the pills of laxatives that you hid from Joel behind the shaving razors he kept under the sink. You let out a shaky sigh and fumbled in your bag looking for the keys. The second you opened the door; you dropped your bag by the door and rushed to the bathroom to check if the pills are still there. You let out a relieved sigh to see that Joel still hasn’t noticed them and didn’t chuck them out. You knew it was wrong to lie to him. You never did, after all it’s Joel. Your Joel who you could tell anything that bothered you, but this was a hurricane inside you for months, even years. It was embarrassing if you were completely honest. Who worries this much about what they looked like, quite vain, shallow you thought to yourself. What would Joel think if he found out, would he call you vain? Self-absorbed? An attention seeker? Even worse, would he think that you were too much and leave you? You were afraid of even thinking about it. You quickly unscrewed the cap open, looking behind your shoulder even if no one was home and took one, feeling a familiar feeling of emptiness that was about to come, making you even crack a small smile.
It was a couple of hours later now and Joel just arrived from work, an exhausted look in his eyes changing the minute he saw you in the kitchen cooking him his favourite dinner and making him crack a tired grin. He took off his work boots and tool belt and tip toed to the kitchen. You felt a strong pair of arms holding your waist, making you slightly tremble but slightly smiled nevertheless and turn around to face him.
‘Missed you darlin’’ he quietly said in his usual southern drawl and tried to peck your lips which surprisingly to him you turned away from and instead turned back to the chicken you were cutting and putting on his plate.
‘Honey? Are you okay?’ Joel asked in a soft tone and touched your arm, making you slightly squirm at the contact.
‘ye-yeah im okay. Just really tired’. You falsely yawned and gave a smile that he knew didn’t reach your eyes and brighten it as usual. However, he didn’t want to annoy you and decided to keep quiet even if the worry about you ate him up alive.
During the dinner you were reluctant to eat. You only ate a couple of vegetables and a slice of the chicken and drank some water. You forced yourself to eat so you didn’t worry Joel, feeling a sense of panic when you reluctantly swallowed the food, washing it down with more water and hoping that it won’t reach your system quickly. Whilst Joel as usual had a second helping to the dinner, loving the tenderness of the chicken and how the soup warmed his limbs after a cold and hard winter day at the site today.
Though he did notice you barely touched your food, not being fooled by what you were trying to do. He noticed that you weren’t well, that you were struggling but was afraid of sticking his nose and potentially upsetting you. but tonight, this was the night he just had to find out what was wrong with his baby doll. ‘Baby? Are you feeling okay? You barely touched your food? Are you trying to poison your husband? He joked trying to keep the situation light.
When you didn’t look up from your plate he tried again with a louder voice ‘baby? Are-are you okay?’
You snap out from your train of thoughts and look up. Your heart feeling a pang as you notice a set of brown eyes desperately trying to search yours but finding nothing, only an empty pair of eyes staring back at him. You crack a forced smile, trying to lighten up the situation. ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. I- I’m just you know, tired. Long day today was’ you added a chuckle, praying that he drops the topic.
However, he does quite the opposite of dropping it and instead continues, himself pleading that you will tell him what’s going on. ‘Doll, I know that you’re lying. You know that right? And quite frankly not only is it upsetting me but making me scared’.
You knew he wasn’t going to drop the subject now, silently cursing yourself in your mind but you didn’t expect him to get up from his seat and get on his knees next to your seat and to take your hands in his. You look into his eyes, feeling yet another set of tears pooling in your eyes as you noticed the fear in his. ‘Dolly? What’s going on? Come on we know this isn’t you. what’s going on?’
You let out a shaky sigh and drop his hands ‘nothing’s going on. Seriously I’m okay.’
At this he slightly gets angry ‘we both know this ain’t fuckin’ true.’
‘Joel- ‘
‘Don’t fuckin’ Joel me. Do you seriously think I’m this stupid to not notice everythin’. How you don’t wanna go out to eat anymore. Fuck, you barely even eat sunshine.’
You reply in a slightly irritated tone, ‘of course I do. I’m eating now, aren’t I?
He snorts ‘oh and what will you be fuckin’ shittin’ it out a couple of hours, later? Hm?’
He goes upstairs to the bathroom, and you run upstairs following him with tears streaming down your face now. You stand in shock as he holds the exact same bottle of laxatives you took only a couple of hours ago. ‘Oh those? Did you really think I wouldn’t find them honey?’
You drop to the floor and cover your face with your knees, letting out a shaky weep into your palms, blubbering sorry’s to Joel. Joel sits down next to you on the bathroom floor and picks you up to cradle you in his arms and planting kisses into your hair and shushing you.
After at least half an hour of you sitting in his embrace and crying your entire heart out, Joel hushed to you, ‘Sweetie, you need to tell me what’s going on. I’ve been quiet about this for months but today, today was just terrifying for me to see what is happening to you’.
After you composed yourself as best as you could you told him about everything. How you’ve seen some diet in a magazine and that turned from trying it out to then reading about how carbs and dairy is bad for the thighs and then how some model uses laxatives to get rid of the food. ‘I just wanted to be perfect for you.’
He couldn’t help but slightly chuckle at that ‘baby girl, you’re doing this for me? For someone who thinks that you are the prettiest and most perfect thing roaming on this Earth? You couldn’t help but chuckle at that, making Joel smile and slight sigh out of relief that he may be getting through to you. ‘what’s making you do this anyways? Apart from me?’
You let out a shaky breath, hesitating for a minute to tell him but trusting enough ‘well for starters I saw how other women, skinnier to also add looked at you and it just- it just made me feel so bad for you. You could have any other girl and I feel like I just trapped you by being with me.’ When you finished you hung your head down, disappointed and even angry at yourself.
Listening to this shattered Joel’s heart into pieces, ‘sugar, are you even hearing yourself? You really think that I feel trapped being with you? Shit I feel freerer than I have ever felt. I don’t think you understand what kind of crap you pulled me from just by being here. And those women? Bunny, if you think that they ever compare to your gorgeous self then I pity you. I pity you for not seeing what I see every day. And you know what? I thank lord every day that I get to see you, touch you, talk to you because I fucking love you. So so much.
At this you crack a grin and have tears streaming down your face ‘so you don’t think I’m some kind of monster? Even for this?’
‘Baby, you are far from a monster. To me you are a ball of fuckin’ sunshine, too much sometimes of a sunshine but nevertheless you not only brighten up my day but I’m sure Dan’s, Suzie’s, fuck, everyone’s day.’
You blush red and smile, hiding your face into his arms, to which Joel laughs and kisses the top of your head. ‘shall we just go to bed and call it a night, we can talk about it more in the morning when I don’t stink and stick to you more’.
You nod your head smiling slightly and both shower together before climbing into bed. Your head lays on Joel’s broad chest, listening to his heartbeat which lulls you to sleep along with Joel’s mindless patterns that he draws on your shoulder and sweet words he whispers into your ear. When you fall asleep a few minutes later, Joel kisses your temple and whispers a silent goodnight before he falls asleep with his hands wrapped around you and smiling to himself feeling even luckier that night for having you in his arms.
#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#pedro pascal x f!reader#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller angst#joel miller tlou#joel miller fic#tlou fanfiction#tlou hbo#joel miller imagines#joel miller one shot#pedro pascal one shot#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#ppcu#ppcu fanfiction
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Text
Plan E?
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus size!reader
Characters: Dean Winchester, Plus size!reader, Baby
Warnings: Dean doesn’t follow plans, never doubt reader’s plans, Dean is a baby, reader likes to expose Dean’s “secrets”
Word Count: 683
*This is seriously crack. I have no idea what was going on in my head when I wrote this, but I don’t regret it. Enjoy!
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“Are they gone?” You ask, back pressed against the wall beside the doorway, not wanting to move in any way in case the cops do happen to peek inside.
“You don’t want to comprehend yourself but me, getting arrested, you’re okay with? How does that work exactly?”
“Well, you’re cute-”
“No, no. I am adorable.”
“Yes,” you nod, “yes, you’re adorable. You’ll be able to make friends and escape easier than I could.”
“You think I’d become somebody’s bitch, don’t you?”
The silence speaks volumes.
“Wow. I see how it is… if anything you’d become someone’s bitch before I would.”
“No,” you shake your head, “no I wouldn’t.”
“No you wouldn’t.”
“Back to plan E-”
Dean glances over at you. “Plan E? What’s plan E?” He asks.
“Oh- uh- let’s see,” you pull out your notebook you used from when you and Dean had to pretend to be the “feds” earlier. “B, was to pretend to be friends from school who lost contact and there was a lot of sexual tension between us.”
He smirks.
“And I only did that because whenever we’re on the verge of becoming caught, you with your soft lips come over and viciously attack me.”
He smirks, “so, you do like it when I do that? You know, I always knew you had a thing for me.”
You guffaw, “I do not. How dare you say such a thing.” Before he could get another word in, you start talking about the other plans. “Then we have C, where we to try and become bartenders because,” you lift your head to look at him.
He avoids your gaze, understanding that you’re hinting to himself whenever you guys go out for drinks, and he winds up confessing about whatever is on his mind that day.
“You know, drunks like to confess more than a sober person.”
You flip the page, “D, involved really bad costumes. E, you fake an allergic reaction, and we knock em out. I figure E, was our best bet.”
“Was there an F?”
“Yeah, but that one’s not as nice. I die and I’m not ready to make that kind of commitment.”
He nods, “good. I’m not ready to lose you anyway.”
“Aw, is the bad ass older brother actually a big teddy bear.”
“Shut up.”
The door of the antique shop chimes.
“Allergic reaction remember.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
-
The plan would have gone smoother had Dean actually known what to do but at least you two were able to get away before they could arrest you.
“Are you happy?” You ask, slamming the door closed.
“Hey, hey. Don’t take it out on baby.”
“Maybe baby is kinky and likes it.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “No, she definitely doesn’t.”
“How would you know, Deanold.”
His face scrunched up in disgust. “Deanold? Is that what you honestly think my name is short for?”
You shake your head, “no but you pissed me off. We were so close. So close.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, princess that your stupid plan E didn’t work. What did you expect me to do. I don’t know how to fake an allergic reaction.”
“It’s as easy as when a woman-”
“DON’T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE!”
“Fakes-”
“No.”
“Her-”
“I’m begging you.”
“Or-”
The car comes to a jerking stop. Your hand on the dashboard. “What the hell-”
He pulls you closer and smashes his lips onto yours, mingling your hot breaths until he pulls away to breath. “You still want to finish that sentence?” Dean stares at you with his raised brow, something you never thought you’d find hot before.
“If it makes you feel better, I’ve never faked any with you.”
“Yeah?”
You nod.
“Care to test out that theory?”
You turn towards the dashboard. “Baby, I’ll take care of your therapy.”
“Why are you talking to the car like it’s a child?”
“Baby is your baby and I want her to know that I’m not mean like you and fool around with whatever tramp you found that night.”
“You make me sound like a man whore.”
“You said it not me.”
#supernatural#supernatural imagines#supernatural imagine#supernatural x reader#supernatural x plus size reader#supernatural x plus size!reader#dean winchester#dean imagine#dean winchester imagines#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x plus size reader#dean winchester x plus size!reader#supernatural fanfiction#Supernatural fanfic#crazyk-imagine
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