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#absolutely obsessed with tiny blocks
greenskellyblob · 2 years
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Red's showing Sans the constellations in the lights of the city
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year
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Heya!! can i request for yandere john wick (headcannons or give anything will work)
You probably know which Anon i am. Please forgive me i got a little too happy cuz you write so good for such good stuff!
Yandere John Wick Headcanons
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Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Stalking, Snooping, Very Brief Implication of Smut, Just John in Love <333, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You.
A/N: I wanted to get these out before I watch the new John Wick film; one which I have been waiting for for the last 4 years <3
O B S E S S I V E
Absolutely an obsessive lucid yandere – he may be in love, but he’s not delusional.
Regardless of whether you came before or after Helen, John knows how cut-throat his profession is; how quickly everything can go from an is to a was.
Thus, nothing is certain. Not you, not him, not your relationship.
So when he realises he’s in love with you – a process as gradual as the construction of Earth itself – he’s never letting you out of his sight.
This might manifest as something as subtle as him visiting you more than usual, staying, longer during movie nights, trying to get you to spend the night more often; inconspicuous displays of a strengthening friendship you and John had accrued over the last couple years or so.
But, unbeknownst to you, he’s around even when you’re unaware.
An unmarked black car parked a house or two down the street, shielded by the shadows of the trees as moonlight casts a stark white against the black.
An inconspicuously-dressed civilian who’s been sat on that park bench for the last two hours as you read your book.
And, eventually, the tiny camera attached underneath your sofa, monitoring every coming and going of your house.
You know about none of this, of course.
Sure, you may have suspicions that the car down the street – one you’ve never seen before in your life – could be doing something… but who were you to judge ? There could be a perfectly logical explanation !
But John keeps enough of himself – and you – in the dark so you’d never suspect him.
I mean, why would you ? He’s John Wick ! Nicest, quietest guy on the block.
If ever he’s on a mission; John relies on that camera more than he’s like to admit.
In his downtime, while resting up at the Continental, he’ll check his phone, see that you’ve gone to the kitchen to make something or other, and wait for you to return to the sofa until he can put his phone away.
Even with his logical mind, he can’t help but fall partial victim to his superstition that, once you reach the sofa, nothing bad can happen to you.
The idea of putting up more cameras has crossed his mind.
Multiple times.
But you’re attentive. You’d notice something as small as a little blinking light a mile off.
Hencewhy he takes to manual surveillance when he’s not out earning a thriving.
He also lowkey interrogates you.
“You found a boyfriend yet ?”
You give a sharp laugh.
“If I had, you’d be the first to know,”
You already tell John practically everything that happens to you – as best friends do – but whenever you ask John something similar, he’ll skirt around your questions.
“No time for that,” he’ll tell you whenever you try to identify the new mystery partner in his life.
“You’re always so busy, John-John !”
Ah, his nickname. A mythic specialty no other has had the privilege to call him.
And John gives a rare smile.
“I’m never too busy for you.”
And you know he means it.
Whenever you need him, he’s there.
And you try to be there for him as much as possible, but given how elusive he is, he rarely seems to need it.
You want to help as best you can, regardless.
So, one day, out of the blue, you hand John a set of keys.
He’s a smart man. But he can’t wrap his head around what you’re trying to tell him.
And when he stares at you with a narrowed look, your eyes roll, the edges of your lips curling up.
“They’re keys, John,” you say. And you gesture around the living room, general in your manner. “To my house.”
And John stares at you for a moment. Then two.
“(Y/N), I’m not trained to be a housekeeper.”
“Oh my god, John–”
You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to get him to clean your house or care for it. You’re opening it up to him.
“I trust you more than anyone else to know how everything works here,” you say, a hand on his shoulder. He’s trying to keep dead eye contact with you, but the feeling of your fingers holding him with a softness he’s never known is like being branded.
“So,” you smile. “If you ever need it for anything, you can get in.”
Honestly, John has been granted few mercies in his time; makeshift alliances with murderers who were loyal to none, not even themselves, his life saved only by his ability to barter and his renowned skill for death. And never are these mercies granted without a price.
So to have you gift him a set of keys to the place you are most vulnerable takes John a while to come to terms with, shall we say.
Remember earlier when I mentioned John’s idea to install more cameras ?
Well, now you’ve given him a perfect in.
Plus, he now has access to all your personal belongings.
At first, he did try to restrain himself.
Trust me, he did.
But, as the days grew into weeks, your keys sat on his bedside, glinting under any source of light that could find its way inside.
And, as if the Gods aligned circumstance on his favour, you would be away from home for a week.
A trip to such-and-such a place – John had the address memorised even before you did.
You’d best believe that, although he initially had his reservations about 1.) you going on the trip, and 2.) using your absence as a means to snoop around your home, John is not immune to whim and fancy. Especially when it came to you.
He’s phantasmic; he leaves no trace, not even fingerprints as he prowls your apartment, looking for…well, anything, really.
He avoids stooping so low as to rifle through your underwear drawer like a stalker. Instead, he uses what he likes to call ‘environmental storytelling’ to make deductions about you.
He’s a very intuitive, perceptive individual, so the story of your everyday routing unfolds for him as if he were reading a book.
And, yes, the temptation to peek at the…less savoury pieces of your inventory did become overwhelming when he could no longer be satiated with the literature you consumed, the worn look of your favourite outfit, your secret money stash you kept in the biscuit tin in the kitchen.
To make a long story short, John walked out your house with a short of yours.
And, when he got home, he did the only thing he could think to do.
He put it on a pillow and pretended it was you.
Cuddles with it whenever he’s missing you. Or sad.
Maaay have cried into it on more than one occasion.
Maaay have done…other things to it when he wasn’t feeling upset.
He’s absolutely paranoid that you’ll find it one day, despite his aptitude at covering his tracks, so he tries not to invite you to his house as much as he can.
However, as your friendship progresses further, that’s unavoidable.
While you may not be dating yet, just know that John holds you in the highest of regards, and he’ll never let anything – including himself – hurt you.
Just ignore his eye wandering to the walk-in cupboard in the hallway; that’s just where he’s kept his imitation of you.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
Masterlist Masterpost
Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3
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badalivie · 6 months
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 body language [l.dh]
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pairing: reader x lee donghyuck ft.hyunjin
genre: romance, friends to lovers
word count: 3.1k
warnings: mentions of injuries, a small tiny pinch of violence, jealous haechan and suggestive(ish)
about: You and Donghyuck have been dance partners for the past 6 years. When he gets into an accident that costs him a competition and substitutes himself with another dancer, he realizes he’s not so open at all to having you dance with someone else, especially having their hands in the places he considered his.
“twirl. come to me, and... pose!”
Donghyuck had one of his hands tight around your waist with the other on your back, pressing your chest flush against his own while you leaned backward in his hold. You felt his warm breath on your neck, his hand just above your ass, and his heartbeat against your chest all while your arms were wrapped around his neck. Every time Donghyuck found himself in a close position like this with you, he felt as if time slowed. He studied every breath, movement, and even experimentally moved his hands around to see which spots you seemed to like being touched in. He found that rubbing his thumbs lightly on your waist would relax you and mold your body closer to his, sometimes even earning a whimper from you, and it would make him melt each time.
“good job.” Donghyuck supported your back to help you stand up straight and pulled away.
“You think we can win with this routine?”
“Absolutely. Don’t you have confidence in my choreographing skills?” He frowned and crossed his arms
“I didn’t say I doubted you, you moron.” You flicked his forehead, making him whine and cover his face with his hands.
Donghyuck has been your best friend and dance partner for 6 years. You’ve won countless competitions with him and spent most of your days training with him or just talking to him. How could you not when he’d obsessively — and quite annoyingly— text you every hour when you were apart?  With the intimacy that comes with dancing alongside him for years, he knew you and your body better than anyone else. Your mannerisms, where you liked to be held and where you didn’t, he knew everything about you. Often it felt like he knew you better than you knew yourself.
“Hey wait wanna grab a bite? I think we deserve it.”
“Fine. You’re paying though!”
“I always do” He grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and walking outside with you. Your favorite restaurant was only 3 blocks away. You and Donghyuck often went there to reward yourselves after a competition or intense training. Eating at that restaurant always involved one of you getting black-out drunk and sleeping over at the other’s house, but today was different. While crossing the street, he noticed a motorcycle speeding in your direction without any indication of stopping. Without a second thought, almost on instinct, he pushed you to the sidewalk and took the hit.
“Hyuck!” You rushed to his side as he lay on the concrete. His arms were a bit swollen but he didn’t appear to have any major injuries that were evident except for his ankle which was very clearly dislocated. The ambulances arrived a couple minutes later and rushed you two to the hospital. You didn’t let go of his hand once throughout the ride. Luckily, the doctors were able to pop Donghyuck’s ankle back into place (but he didn’t take the pain of it well at all). As soon as you both thought the worst was over, they found that he also broke a rib from the impact. The doctor said he would fully heal in about 2 months, which didn’t leave him enough time to rehearse before the competition took place.
“We have to withdraw.” 
“What?! No! You can’t withdraw from the competition!” Donghyuck argued
“I’m not dancing without you!” There were tears in your eyes at this point. His expression softened when he saw the first few tears streak down your cheeks.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” He cupped your cheeks and wiped away your tears with his thumbs. “Listen, you worked too hard for this competition. I don’t want you to withdraw because of me. Hear me out, I’ll look for a substitute to take my place. Hm? How’s that sound?”
“That sounds awful. I’ve never danced with anyone else but you and I’m not willing to.” You lowered your head
“Just give it a try okay? If you really don’t want to compete without me, then you withdraw. But you need to give it a chance first. Okay?”
After a couple minutes of careful consideration, you reluctantly agreed “Fine.”
“Don’t look so down. You’ll get wrinkles.”
You chuckled under your breath, earning a smile from Donghyuck. “There she is. There’s that smile.” You talked a few more things with him until a nurse told you that you had to leave. You waved goodbye and said you’d visit him again tomorrow.
By the time you came back for another visit, Donghyuck had already found a substitute. He found him through a friend and heard he was an extremely talented junior dancer. It still took some convincing to get you fully on board but by the end of your second visit, you were ready to meet his substitute.
His name was Hyunjin. He was taller than Donghyuck by a little bit. He was attractive, had long hair, a slim figure, and he was really hardworking. Hyunjin really devoted his time to learning the choreography beforehand with the short amount of time he had. After your first practice together you realized that maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought they would be.
“Hey we match pretty well” Hyunjin commented, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You think so?”
“Yeah. I think you’re great” he smiled.
“You’re not too bad yourself.”
You and Hyunjin teased each other back and forth for a while, growing closer with each passing hour. To your surprise, you got along well with him. You became more comfortable spending your time with him practicing every day until your hospital visits to Donghyuck became less frequent. 
When Donghyuck was discharged the first thing he did was go to your practice studio. He accepted the fact that you weren’t visiting as often probably because you were busy practicing. Still, wanted to see how things were going without him. He was obviously rooting for your victory, but a small part of him hoped to see that his absence would be affecting you somehow.
“You okay?” You asked
“Im fine. Just a little tired.” Hyunjin huffed, resting his hands on his waist while facing away from you.
“I told you that you should have slept more.” You walked towards him and placed your hand on his back in an attempt to comfort him. “We can take a break if you-“
Hyunjin spun around and leaned down to rest his head on your shoulder. You felt his arms slowly wrap around your waist as he sighed. “I just need a minute… give me 1 minute…” You were a bit surprised by his actions but didn’t push him away, you only kept your hands on his chest.
“Hyunjin? You can rest on the couch-“
“I’m okay. This is all I need… you’re all I need…”
His voice faded towards the end of his sentence, making you unsure of what he really said when suddenly you heard a cough from the far end of the room. When you turned your head around you saw Donghyuck standing there.
“Hyuckie!” You beamed. Hyunjin raised his head from your shoulder and gazed at the man who interrupted your moment. He gave Donghyuck a blank stare but didn’t let go of his hold on your waist at all. That didn’t go unnoticed by Donghyuck. He felt his eye twitch at the green feeling that was beginning to simmer in his chest.
“Was I interrupting something?”
“No you came at the right time” You broke free from Hyunjin’s hold and walked towards Donghyuck, enveloping him in a big hug. “Happy to see you walking again”
“My rib is still in rough shape but I’m good enough to visit.” He smiled, glancing over your shoulder to glare at the other male in the room. “How’s practice?” ‘Horrible. Not so good. Wish you were my partner instead’ were some of the responses He was hoping to receive.
“Great, actually! Hyunjin and I have great chemistry and everything is going smoothly. I think we’ll win next week”
“Oh yeah? Well um… that’s good then…”
“Hey y/n! I need your advice on something” Hyunjin called from the other side of the room.
“I need to get going… see you again soon okay?”
You ran back to Hyunjin and started talking about the dance again. Donghyuck didn’t miss the way Hyunjin smiled at you and the way he leaned closer to your direction whenever you spoke. What irked him most was the way Hyunjin looked at you. Probably because it was the exact same way he looked at you. Who could he blame though? He was the one who pushed you to substitute him with someone else. He started this.
He came around to your practice every day since then. He hated how well you were doing without him. He hated how perfect everything was. The way you were in perfect sync with Hyunjin, the way you seemed to fit so perfectly in his arms, the way it seemed like the two of you were just made for each other. He felt so replaceable. He felt like maybe you were better off dancing with Hyunjin instead of him. Like what you had with him wasn’t special at all.
Over the days before the competition he just watched helplessly as Hyunjin did the things he was supposed to do with you. It was supposed to be you and him. And with each passing day, his blood seemed to boil more and more. Still, no matter how jealous, he knew you deserved that medal more than anyone else. So when the competition day came, he didn’t care who you were dancing with. What mattered was that you were on that stage, and you were going to win.
“Y/N!!! WOOOOOOO” Donghyuck cheered, jumping out of his seat when you walked onto stage. Hyunjin held your hand in his, leading you out to the stage with long, confident strides. Your eyes met Donghyuck’s in the crowd, and you smiled at him the way you always did. He felt his heart flutter. Was this what it was like to watch you perform? If it was, maybe he’d play sick to see you perform from the audience more often. But preferably without Hyunjin by your side.
Everything went just perfectly. Down to every beat and every sway of the rhythm. Donghyuck always found you pretty, but today, you were especially beautiful. The way you styled your hair, the way your costume revealed just enough of your skin, the way you smiled whenever you faced the audience, and especially the way you’d occasionally steal glances at him, knowing he was already staring back at you.
Your performance came to an end. The crowd roared, bursting into cheers and applause. So did Donghyuck. He smiled proudly as you held the ending pose. You stood on stage, breathless after giving it your all with your chest pressed against Hyunjin’s. Donghyuck noticed the ending pose was different. When you were with him, your arms were always wrapped securely around his neck, but this time, one of your hands grasped Hyunjin’s arm while the other held onto his shoulder. A wave of pride shot through him. Of course. She’d only do that with me. That’s our thing.
The applause continued as you and Hyunjin held the pose, trying to catch your breaths. “I think we won” you chuckled
“yeah…” He smiled, gazing into your eyes. You smiled at his response, not noticing the way his eyes flickered down to your lips and back up to your eyes repeatedly. His silence confused you and made you match your gaze with him. Hyunjin had an unreadable expression on his face before he leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss. Your eyes widened. The crowd’s cheers grew in volume as the lights on the stage went out. Once it registered in your brain that Hyunjin actually kissed you, your immediate response was to turn your head away, using the hand on his shoulder to push him away and create space. What was that? Why did he kiss me? He likes me? A whirlwind of thoughts swirled in your head, but one seemed to scream louder than the rest. Did Donghyuck see?
“What the fuck Hyunjin?!”
“I-I’m sorry.” He muttered “I just- I really like you, y/n… these past 2 months have just been so wonderful for me and I couldn’t hold back my feelings anymore… I just had to let you know.”
“Hyunjin, I don’t feel the same way… I’m sorry… you’re a really great guy its just that I already have someone I like” You fiddled with your fingers, nervously watching his reaction. A smile tugged on the corners of Hyunjin’s lips.
“I figured… Its Donghyuck, isn’t it?”
“Was it that obvious?” You covered your mouth
“To me it was. Still knowing that, I wouldn’t back down without trying.” Hyunjin shrugged his shoulders
“Thanks for being cool about this whole thing” You smiled, linking your arm with his, feeling comfortable again.
“It’s just how things are I guess… sorry for kissing you earlier. It was out of line. I should’ve asked and not made you uncomfortable...”
“Eh, it wasn’t too bad” You nudged his rib and made him laugh, moving past that whole incident completely unaware of the storm brewing outside.
You and Hyunjin accepted your medals hand in hand and gave brief appreciation speeches before walking backstage and deciding to call it a night. You and Hyunjin had packed up and were casually having a conversation in the parking lot when Hyunjin took a harsh punch to the jaw and fell hard on his back.
“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”
It was Donghyuck.
“Hyuck!” You called out in surprise
“Kissing her like that? You have a lot of fucking nerve.” Donghyuck grabbed Hyunjin’s collar and raised him off the ground “What do you have to say now, pretty boy?”
“I’m sorry” Hyunjin coughed
“Damn right you are.” Haechan seethed before throwing another punch until red spilled from Hyunjin’s mouth.
“hold it right there!” You yelled grabbing one of Donghyuck’s arms and pulling him away from Hyunjin. “Hyuck, stop.” He turned his attention away for a second to cup your cheeks and scan your face. You don’t know what he was looking for, but there was an expression you’d never seen on his face before. “Let’s just go. Okay?” You rubbed your hand up and down his arm to calm him down, and it seemed to work a little.
Donghyuck gave one last glare to the other man before wrapping his hand around your wrist tightly and pulling you to his car. “Hyuck… Hyuckie you’re hurting me…” He didn’t say anything in reply but his grip on you loosened. Donnghyuck opened the door for you and let you in before closing the door rather harshly.
The drive was silent. If you were being honest, you didn’t even really know where he was taking you. “What’s going on with you..?”
“Me? What’s going on with me? What’s up with you kissing that pretty boy on stage?!” Donghyuck retorted
“I didn’t kiss him. He kissed me!”
“What so you like him now?!” He was raising his voice at you for the first time, it was unfamiliar and surprising, it was making you emotional.
“Why are you yelling at me?” You asked with a weak voice. Haechan swerved his car to the side of the road and slammed the brakes.
“Because I like you, idiot!” Donghyuck yelled, removing his seatbelt and turning to face you. “You know how hard it was for me to watch him touch you?! He was all over you y/n! He even kissed you for fucks sake!” He ruffled his hair in frustration. He was unloading too much information at once that you could only stare at him with widened eyes. You were overwhelmed. Donghyuck kept rambling on about his frustrations but all you could think about was his confession. This whole time you liked him, he liked you back.
Everything made sense. All the teasing, the way his hands would trail when he held you, the way he’d keep you close when in public spaces. He was telling you he liked you this whole time through his actions. How did you not notice? You laughed.
“Whats funny? You think this is funny?” Donghyuck stared at you with confusion, but nothing could prepare him for when you grabbed his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His eyes widened with shock at first, but then he leaned closer to deepen the kiss. Pulling back for just a second, you whispered lowly “I like you too, dummy”. With one hand, you unbuckled your seatbelt and moved to straddle his lap on the driver’s seat without breaking the kiss. Donghyuck reclined his seat in order to give you more space. He had his hands on your waist, and you pushed your lap down on his own, earning a low groan from him.
“You’re an eager one aren’t you” Haechan smirked, bringing his hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear. “I want to take my time with you, sweetie. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to have you like this” He sighed, taking a deep breath of your scent and kissing your cheek, all the way down to your collarbone. “See this?” Haechan pressed his finger against a spot he’d kissed just a few seconds ago, a dark blue mark beginning bloom. “This is mine.” He kissed the bottom of your jaw. “Every curve” your neck. “Every crevice.” your collarbone. “All mine.” Your shoulder.
You buried your face into his neck, resting all your weight against him. “We can’t do this here.” You whispered.
You heard Donghyuck chuckle lowly. “Oh?” He moved his hand on your waist lower to knead your ass. “You say that, but you’re grinding onto my waist right now. I can feel the heat of your cheeks on my neck. The way you’re clutching on my shirt right now… honey, you’re not fooling anyone.”
“Hyuck...” You whimpered into his ear, sending a shiver up his spine. He groaned in response and slipped his hands under the skirt you were wearing. His rough hands kneaded your thighs and pushed you lower onto his waist- well, dick.
“Only I can touch you like this. Only I can get this close. Only I know what you like.” Donghyuck kissed the sensitive spot just below your ear and made you gasp. “See?”
“Hyuck~” you begged.
He smiled, bringing a hand up to gently hold your cheek. “be patient, baby. I’ll do everything I want with you when we get home”
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tastesousweet · 2 months
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⭒ the girl with the tattoo (iii) - pt 1 pt 2
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matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader
summary : no one frustrates and confuses y/n more than matt
warnings : smoking weed, alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!), tension, sexually suggestive
mickey speaks : THIS IS LONG AS SHIT!!!! ngl im not obsessed w this part but u guys r the sweetest thank u for loving this story so far and for ur patience. part 4 definitely won't have as long of a wait.
THIS IS PART THREE GO READ THE FIRST TWO PARTS NEOWW
MATT hates hosting parties.
now that he and his brothers have hosted three of these "get together"s to promote the warehouse, he’s realized just how much attendees dont give a shit about respecting the space they're in. he found it to be a cool concept for sure: give out free tiny tats along with food and drinks for more exposure and networking. nick came up with it and it sounded perfectly easy way to build their brand and get to know people in LA.
except the first one was a complete mess, with chris constantly promoting the party (he mentioned it to almost everyone he talked to, encouraging them to bring friends along), frequent instagram posts dedicated to the event, and natural word of mouth the warehouse was suddenly overcrowded and trashed within the first hour of being open. matt barely got through that night without losing his temper or calling the cops to shut down his own party.
that’s not to say matt hates attending parties as severely as he hates to have his own. he’s more than willing to go out when he has a set time to leave and good enough company. he’s trained his anxiety to behave within those spaces so that he's not ruining his or anyone else's time. now it seems his anxiety only spikes when it comes to (what feels like) hundreds of people surrounding him in his space with no intentions of leaving until well into the morning. at that point he’d prefer to be at home, completely alone.
just as he does now that nick has dragged him out to a nearby liquor store to buy “goodies” for the event later today.
matt’s face carries his typical dry expression as nick stands next to him, hands resting on his hips, eyeing the various vodka bottles.
“nick, it’s alcohol not the fucking newspaper,” matt grumbles.
“i know that! i just don’t wanna choose the wrong one.” he defends.
“if they don’t like something i think we have more than enough to choose from at this point,” matt sarcastically nudges his arms that hold onto a wide selection of alcohol that nick has impetuously given him with quips of ‘okay, hold this one.’
“matt, i wouldn’t have brought you if i knew you’d be such a buzzkill, jesus.” nicks tsks.
“alright, don't say that like i was begging to come here, nick. i had no choice and-"
nick cuts him off swiftly, noticing a few girls have joined them in the aisle, “matt, move." nick guides him backwards with his hand, "you’re like, in the way.”
matt turns his head to see what exactly he was blocking, before turning back to nick and scowling, “‘m literally not in the way at all.”
“they might need to see all the options,” nick shrugs, going back to narrowing his options down while matt stands in slight annoyance, zoning out.
until he overhears the two girls call, “yeah it’s over here, y/n! come!”
and matt can’t help but turn and look (at an embarrassingly quick pace that he’d blame on his brain's pristine sound recognition and not that he wanted to see you, necessarily).
and sure enough your frame comes into view (clad in a sweatshirt and small pair of shorts), confirming that he did not mishear and you unfortunately were in fact the y/n called for. not wanting to deal with small talk, he immediately turns to nick, “the second one is best, nick. alright, let’s go.”
nick looks over to him, throwing his hands up loosely, “ohh, now you wanna be helpful whe-" he closes his mouth when he sees you over matt's shoulder, "did you know y/n's here?” his eyebrows draw together and he swiftly grabs a tall bottle of Absolut and places it in matt’s arms before walking around him (ignoring his hand’s poor attempt to hold nick back).
you’re too busy discussing which vodka tastes best with a few of your friends to notice nick walking up to you guys. you only look over once you hear a snap followed by a hushed “matt!”
you host a tender smile when you recognize the two tattooed boys, “nick? what are you doing here?” you glance from nick to matt who seems to be holding a full bar's worth of liquor while nick holds nothing but a tote bag and sunglasses he enjoys fidgeting with.
“y/n, i have a party i’m hosting tonight why would i not be here? now the real question is why are you here at 11:30 AM?” he jokes, squinting his eyes at you.
“same reason as you,” you shrug then realize you haven’t introduced your friends properly. “oh! and these are my friends; i texted you about bringing along, remi, erin, and andrea.” they each wave slightly as you gesture to them.
after an exchange of greetings and smiles (though you could tell matt’s was so phoney), nick backtracks, “okay but actually why are you here?”
“did you think i was joking? i’m getting drinks for your party!”
“i mean this in the kindest way possible: why?”
“i wasn’t gonna show up empty handed! it’s common courtesy to bring you guys something whether or not you ask.” you insist and matt fights the urge to roll his eyes.
he knows you have no mal-intent but god damn do you make yourself look so fucking pretentious.
“yeah, we’re trying to figure out what would be the best kind to bring right now,” erin chimes in.
nick immediately agrees, “oh my god, tell me about it. i was just struggling with that too!” and he turns to matt to validate, see! it’s not stupid to care about possibly buying the wrong thing!
matt just rolls his lips into his mouth, trying to give anyone a fucking clue that the conversation should be wrapping up by now.
“we’ll probably just end up getting pink whitney,” andrea reaches for the bottle on a nearby shelf.
matt can feel your eyes on him but he chooses to keep looking down at nick's ugg boots as if they’re the most interesting thing he’s seen.
you shift your eyes back to nick who’s still talking to andrea before you begin to speak, “well, i’m sure you guys are busy, you know, party planning.”
suprisingly, matt speaks up to agree with you, "yeah, you’re right actually. we are pretty busy."
nick cuts in with a shake of his head, “well, we’re actually not doing much before the party starts, honestly. we’ll probably just drop this off at the warehouse and set up a little, then go home, right matt?” nick shrugs to his brother who's eyes only widen with a look of question, “oh that's so true, matt!" he turns back to the girls with a smirk, "if you guys want you should come hang out with us now!”
matt wishes he currently had a free hand so that he could slap it over nicks mouth and drag him away before he sells his own kidney next.
"oh that's okay, we still have some stuff at home to do before we even think to get ready, but we'll be there tonight," you smile and look over to the girls who each agree.
"okay, we'll see you around then." matt tilts his head to the side encouraging nick to follow as he walks away.
"you have my insta so just dm me if you need anything. okay, bye! don’t forget swimsuits!" nick smiles and waves before rushing to catch up to matt who has already left the aisle.
౨ৎ
“i still can’t believe y/n was there, like what are the odds?!” nick giddily sighs and looks over to matt as the two walk out of the store.
“yeah, how fuckin’ weird," he murmurs, adjusting the brown bags in his hands to reach for the keys hanging from his belt loop. "small world, i guess.”
౨ৎ
“how the fuck are you so calm?” you ask in shock from behind the bat squishmellow you hold while sitting on nick’s baby pink couch, legs crossed.
“y/n, it’s like the teeniest, babiest tattoo ever,” andrea almost laughs as she takes another bite of a miniature rice krispy treat.
this “get together” at the warehouse has been a hit as far as you can tell. when you and your friends arrived it was already rowdy with people everywhere, music pounding, and bottles of alcohol scattered on the counters of a kitchenette (where you placed your own bottle of pink whitney, tied with a dainty white ribbon). you all found nick early on dancing in a crowd of people. he gave out hugs and easily convinced andrea and remi to let him tattoo them. after looking over the flash sheet nick made specifically for tonight, the girls decided to get matching cherry tattoos.
nick’s work area was so soft. he had bright hues of berry hugging his walls in the form of posters and paintings and faint creamsicle colored pillows to keep his couch company. when you all first walked in he explained how much he enjoys when clients bring in a friend so he had to make sure they had a comfy place to sit. you found nick so endearing in that since, he’s very caring and thoughtful despite his attitude at times (a far more understandable attitude than matt’s).
“it’s soo small,” nick adds, “i still think you two should get one,” he smirks looking over to you and erin huddled on the couch.
“hell no, i think i'm good for like another year," you shake your head and look over to erin while you gently run your fingers over your tattooed lower hip.
"yeah, absolutely not. i'm not even close to drunk enough to do that shit right now." she laughs.
౨ৎ
matt finds joint rolling to be the most satisfying part of smoking. the precision needed to perfectly fill, wrap, and burn makes him giddy in his own matt-kind-of-way.
after working on his last client (who wanted a somewhat abstract piece for the lowkey means of a “free tiny tats event”) and successfully sneaking through the crowd to grab a snack then sneaking back into his work area, he wanted nothing more than to get high alone.
he begins to gather his spare weed, grinder, and rolling papers from a spot tucked away in a drawer. he stops by his desk to turn his speaker back on, playing hushed kendrick lamar thorughout the space.
he taps his fingers along to the beat before sitting in a chair and displaying the items in front of him. he begins to grind the weed while humming, only to be interrupted fairly quickly.
"matttt!" chris peeks his grinning face through the curtain before taking it upon himself to walk in, "what are you doin' all alone in here?" matt pauses his movements with a sigh.
"no way you were rolling up and not planning to share? what the fuck?" chris pries in jest, rolling a chair over to sit in front of matt.
"dude, 'm so over this fuckin' party. i was planning to just smoke this and go nap on nick's couch or something." matt explains as he carefully lays the weed in the paper.
"you were barely even out there! got all your clients to text you whenever they got here." chris mumbles a scoff. "that is not the fuckin' point of this by the way, supposed to be meeting new people." chris rolls his eyes leaning himself so far into the chair that his back has practically met the seat.
"at least i'm doing something, you've only given like a tat or two all night," matt mumbles, slowly filling the white paper with weed.
because chris knows he's right he deflects the conversation to the reason he even came searching for matt in the first place. he clears his throat, playing with his fingers, "nick wants to take the girls up to the hot tub."
"thought we weren't allowing randoms up there anymore?" matt smirks at the memory of nick just hours before lecturing the both of them on what ground rules needed to be set so people don't demolish their shop for the fourth time now.
"obviously if they're with nick they're not just randoms." chris shakes his head, "pretty sure it's y/n and some friends she brought along. you remember that girl, right? she was-"
matt stops sealing the blunt to respond, "uh huh, i remember her."
chris lets out a breath, causing matt to finally look up and make eye contact with his brother (after spending their entire conversation too focused on rolling) in surprise at his pause in speaking.
"yeah, she's cool." chris yawns.
"i guess." matt says while finishing off the joint.
matt then lifts his hand up to give chris a view of his rolled joint. "stellar." chris smiles and matt hands it him, "swear you have a gift for this shit or somethin'." chris holds it in different angles near his face.
matt just shrugs and reaches for the tiny red lighter in his back pocket, "light that bitch up," he encourages chris.
"wait, no, let's save it for hot-tubbing."
"no? let's not? i didn't roll it for anyone but myself, let alone a group of barbies."
"be nice, matt."
"give me it, chris," matt rolls his eyes and signals with his fingers for chris to hand it over. “also who says i’m joining you guys in there?”
chris hands the joint back over to matt who’s immediately putting it in his mouth and bringing it towards the lighter’s flame, “nick wants the both of us up there, he thinks it’ll be fun.”
matt’s words come out quieter now that he’s speaking with smoke held in his lungs, “is he shit faced?” matt exhales the smoke as he speaks, “you know he thinks anything is ‘fun’ when he’s drunk.”
he takes another hit while chris explains, “no he’s actually really fuckin’ coherent, hasn’t had anything compared to me.” he smirks knowingly.
“not too much of this for you then,” matt exhales and passes the blunt over to chris. “so who’s gonna be hosting this party if we’re all on the roof?” matt asks squinting at him while playing with the soft edge of his graphic tee shirt.
chris’ face hides behind the smoke he releases, “we have dontae and claire working tonight too, they know how to deal with shit. i’m not too worried.”
“cool, so nick has contradicted himself twice already tonight, what happened to ‘one of us three should always be keeping an eye out’?” matt questions.
chris shakes his head, handing matt the smoked down joint, “literally how am i supposed to know why that kid thinks the way he does?”
matt licks his lips with a smile at his brothers comment then goes to hit the blunt once more.
“but i do know you need trunks on asap, brother.” chris lifts himself up, feeling a little looser now that he’s quite faded, and begins to dig through matt’s backpack in the corner of the room.
“why the fuck are my trunks just casually in my bag?”
“i put ‘em in there knowing you wouldn’t listen when we told you to pack them.”
“because i’m never getting in the pool at a party, that sounds terrible.”
“you think everything sounds terrible,” chris rolls his eyes throwing the plain black swimming trunks at matt’s chest.
౨ৎ
“‘kay so the game is just called, “i dare you…” but we’re gonna play it like drink or dare,” chris explains before taking another sip of his pepsi (he’s attempting to ‘sober up’ before playing a drinking game). “assuming the crowd knows what drink or dare is..?” chris looks around to everyone to confirm. there’s quite a lot of people in the spacious hot tub: you and your friends, the triplets, asha, and two of the triplets’ friends nathan and cameron.
when everyone nods in understanding chris explains something about the order to follow and how to discard any used cards, but you only loosely pay attention. instead, your eyes keep an unfaltering stare on matt who sits across from you with the shadows of his face highlighted light blue from the water below and a warm amber from the outdoor lighting above.
he wears his hair messy and his signature silver chain that reflects in the water harshly. you find yourself focusing on his tattooed hands (large in proportion to the joint he’s just finished rolling), and his pink tongue that has slipped out a number of times to lick at the joint and secure its shape.
he’s so into his own task he hasn’t even acknowledged your presence really. somehow that bothers you and attracts you to him at the same time. his face is so neutral as well, it’s not easy to find matt without a resting bitch face and an foul mood to match.
you feel andrea’s hand guide up your back, carrying water in its trail. you still continue in your curious trance until she leans down to your ear, “don’t start drooling now.”
you immediately look up towards her (as she’s sat on the ledge of the hot tub, cautious of her new arm tattoo). she barks out a laugh and you try not to laugh as well, punching the side of her leg instead.
“what did i miss? what are we giggling aboutt?!” nick excitedly asks as he climbs into the hot tub and sits in the empty spot to the left of you. you turn and greet him with a smile and he immediately hands you one of the many beer bottles he holds, “here, take one, pass it down.”
“oh it was nothing, thank you.” you reply when handed the final bottle.
nick nods before swatting at chris who still stands in the middle of the hot tub, “kid, you can sit down now, i think we all got it.”
chris looks over to nick, “you go first then, nick. i’ll queue up a few songs.” he shifts a floaty that holds a set of cards in it towards nick before taking a seat next to erin (you can overhear him introducing himself even though your attention is on nick as he draws).
“who’s the bright one who chose a game with cards to be done in water?” nick jokes finally looking at the card.
“i’m sure you can guess,” asha laughs next to him.
you watch as nick’s face welcomes a large grin upon reading his dare. “okay…i’m reading this out loud, right?”
“i thought ‘we all got it’?” chris jokes and watches nick deadpan, “yes, nick just say it.”
“this one’s easy, ‘i dare you to make one of the group members crack a smile in less than a minute.’” nick adjusts himself to face nathan, “nate look at me.”
“oh come on nick, nate laughs at everything when he’s drunk.” matt talks despite his lips closing over the joint he’s just about to light.
“i don’t!” nate says before looking over to cameron, who elbows his side, making nathan giggle and cover his face. “no! for real, try me nick.” he adjusts his expression to be serious but just as nick opens his mouth to speak nathan explodes in sudden laughter causing the rest of the group to laugh as well.
even matt laughs into his arm as he passes the joint to remi, next to him.
౨ৎ
as the group continued playing the dares leveled in dirty extremity. asha nibbled on cameron’s ear like a hamster, nathan texted a friend asking to have a threesome, cameron licked sugar off of andrea (who very much enjoyed it), until finally it was matt’s turn.
matt’s been far more sociable and charismatic this entire time spent in the hot tub than you’ve seen him before. but you can’t tell if it’s the weed and alcohol or even just the fact that he’s surrounded by a group with some of his close friends that’s bringing this out of him. you’re shocked the only nagging he’s done was to break up a small argument between his brothers and of course make fun of you, mouthing “you scared?” after you denied hitting the joint for a second time. you mouthed back “no” and rolled your eyes at him but his playful smirk never left.
matt hangs his head and stifles laughter after reading his card, “i dare you to bend over backwards and let the rest of the group spank you, chose who’s best.”
“oh my god!” chris’ laugh is higher in pitch now that he’s extremely high.
“guys i really don’t wanna,” he sighs.
“matt, don’t be lame! you’ll be the first one who’s drinking,” asha encourages.
“fuck this game,” he mumbles under his breath before adjusting himself to lean over the hot tub, everyone laughing at the sight. it was fun to see matt so unserious for once.
after taking turns to hit matt’s ass, he decided the fourth person’s was the best, per his dare’s request, and nathan celebrates with a throw of his hands in the air.
remi then performs a trust fall with the person she trusts least in the group, cameron (who she told there was no hard feelings since they’d only met today), making it now erin’s turn.
she blushes at her card before reading aloud, “i dare you to give a lap dance to the hottest person in the group.” she bites her lip in embarrassment but nonetheless leans over to chris and requests a song in his ear.
chris smiles and taps his phone as erin adjust herself to standing. “this is gonna be hard to do in water,” she messes with her hair.
“you’ll be fine!” you encourage with a smile.
“alright, you ready?” chris looks up to erin and she nods in response.
body party by ciara begins to play sensually through the nearby speaker gaining a few “oouuu”s from the group.
what you don’t expect is for erin to lean herself in front of matt. and matt definitely doesn’t expect this either, but he’s not too mad about it.
“oh shitttt,” cameron grins, he and nathan occupied in their own awkward-laughing fit while watching with wide eyes.
she moves slowly and hovers matt in a straddling position to “grind” on him. you take a heavy sip of your drink while watching in an attempt to hide your odd feeling about this. it was like watching a car crash. you watch as matt’s eyes gaze up and down her body, not daring to touch her but unashamed of his attraction.
asha laughs and whistles in support when erin turns around to give matt a view of her ass. nick dramatically ducks behind you yelling, “i actually can’t watch this! oh my god!”
you laugh and to mess with him whisper, “don't worry, it’s over now.”
nick looks back and immediately goes back to covering his eyes and laughing with you, “you bitch!”
you look back to matt who tilts his head back with wide eyes and lips puffing out in humor. and finally, after it feels like the two have dry humped for hours, erin stands back up and bows. matt claps with a wide smile, everyone else joining in.
when erin sits down you look up to andrea who just stifles a laugh with a sip of her drink. “well how the fuck am i gonna top that shit?!” chris exclaims while grabbing a card.
“real question is how the fuck will matt recover from that?” you joke causing matt to look over to you.
“oh don’t worry about me, sweetheart. i’m sure i’ll recover fine. chris,” he lifts his head gesturing for chris to begin his dare.
your tongue travels along your teeth to stop yourself from ruining a good time with your confusing feelings.
“i dare you to give a hickey to the person to your left.” chris bites his bottom lip and blinks slowly before looking over to andrea who just smiles and playfully flutters her fingers at him.
“you’re cool with this right, ‘m not tryna make you uncomfortable or any-”
“chris, shh.” andrea says.
“'kay, where do you want it?” he smiles.
“let’s make this fun,” she adjusts her bikini top and presses her manicured fingers along her right breast, “right here.”
nick is extra dramatic when it comes to watching chris suck harshly on his new friend’s tit, “okay, why the fuck did we choose this game?!” he turns away.
when chris is finished andrea shows it off to the group as proof and pushes chris’ cocky face away with a laugh, “nice job, stupid.”
afterwards, andrea gets a dare to expose her search history with the group, which she does without a problem.
it’s finally your turn to pick a card. “i dare you to lick whipped cream off a person of your choice.”
“oouu who’s it gonna beee?” nick nudges into your side.
you look around the hot tub, wanting to pick someone unpredictable, “ashaaa, you haven’t had much to do yet?” you look over to the girl who now has wide eyes and a growing smile.
“okay, yeah let’s do it,” she shrugs. “nate could you go get whipped cream, please?”
once nathan’s back you move closer to asha and decide to put whipped cream on her shoulder. “it tickles,” she giggles when you lick the entire dollop off of her easily.
you both laugh and you lick your lips as you head back to your seat.
౨ৎ
after another round it’s finally matt’s turn again, he draws a card that reads: give a kiss anywhere, on the person you’d “take home to mama.”
matt slowly stands and rubs his chin with a devious smile. “ummm,” he draws out, giving multiple looks at everyone before he walks over and hovers over you. you’re shocked by your body’s ease when his wet hand lifts to hold your face and his lips connect to yours. the kiss isn’t sloppy, but rather needy. you were just getting used to the taste of the bitter beer he’d just been drinking when he pulls away and steps back, unfazed.
you blink and wipe your fingers around your lips as matt wipes a hand over his eyes while laughing to himself.
“mom, would love y/n,” chris adds, calling back to the initial dare that led to that stomach turning kiss.
“'course she would, she’s a fucking saint.” matt sighs.
you squint your eyes and tilt your head, “i wouldn’t say that…”
“yeah, shit, my bad.” matt spreads his legs across from you, “forgot you have that little tattoo. i’m sure you’re not such a good girl anymore.”
you’re fucking annoyed now. you hate that he thinks you're inferior to him in any way. “hey where’s that ashtray, chris?” you ask, adjusting your seated position.
“uh, here,” he reaches behind him and places it on the same floaty as the cards, along with the lighter.
“you guys are cool to keep going,” you say and take the abandoned joint in your hand to relight it.
matt watches in spiteful anticipation.
“take it slow, and hold it” andrea explains to you in a whisper, knowing you’d never smoked in your life.
erin begins her dare to prank call a customer service line and dirty talk them when you take a hit of the joint.
matt eyes never leave your bothered figure as you inhale and cause the tip of the joint to light a bright red. he can tell you’re trying to prove a point which makes it more amusing to him when your eyes begin to water after you shakily exhale and attempt to hold back a cough.
“don’t hurt yourself.” matt quips under his breath.
౨ৎ
the group hadn’t realized just how long they’d been in the hot tub nor how drunk they all are until they struggled to get out and back to the main floor of the warehouse.
though, lots of giggles and piggyback rides helped them all stay together as they traveled back, cold and still damp. all partygoers were gone at that point, leaving the warehouse empty yet a mess.
nick (being the self-proclaimed good host he is) led the mass of drunk people to the bathrooms and brought extra graphic tee shirts and sweatpants to change into from the many boxes of merch sold in their tattoo shop. the boys had insisted that everyone just sleep at the warehouse due to their abundance of couches and chairs and their fear in sending anyone home in an uber at close to 3 AM.
matt is throwing pieces of trash in a large black trash bag when you step out from the bathroom near the colorful kitchenette of the warehouse.
he glances up when you approach slowly, feeling yourself sobered up quite a bit after peeing and washing your face.
“hey,” his voice is rough in tiredness.
“hey, do you have any water over here?” you ask politely, your lips taste salty when you lick over them.
“in the fridge,” he replies, crumbling wrappers and adding to his bag.
you notice how red and puffy his eyes truly are now that you’re this close to him and in better lighting. you walk past him to get to the fridge, almost completely empty after a long-lasting and full party.
“are you sleeping any time soon?” you ask, opening the water bottle.
“i don’t know.”
“i can always help you clean this if you need me to.”
“‘m good.” he analyzes a glass bottle to decide whether it’s worth keeping.
you nod your head, “cool.”
“you should probably sleep.” matt suggests looking over to you.
“i think i can decide that for myself, thanks.” you drink more of your water.
“you’re right i can only suggest. i’m suggesting you to go to sleep. and if you do stay up i'd suggest you don’t spend your time talking to me.”
you finish off your water and move closer to matt, placing it in the bag. “you truly know how to piss a girl off.”
“it’s my specialty.” he whispers and looks over your face now that you’re so close.
he’s so fucking hot that it genuinely upsets you at this point. you just back up and turn to go find the couch andrea’s decided to sleep on.
“goodnight, sunshine.” he calls after you, going back to his cleaning.
you're not too far away when you hear the bathroom door open and once again matt is greeting someone, only when you look over your shoulder you see erin approaching and matt leaning on the island counter with a smile.
you turn the corner with irritation. and you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having a problematic crush on matt while wanting nothing to do with him at all.
꩜�� ˚。⋆🎱˚
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crash-and-cure · 9 months
Text
Every Minute, Every Hour (Yandere!Austin!Elvis x Reader)
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Summary: You were out. You were out goddamnit. How was he here?
A/N: Soooo.... It’s been awhile. Writer’s block is an absolute son of a bitch. So this is based on an idea I had and requested to @venus-haze a couple months ago and which I almost completely forgot about until I got this request and I decided two birds and all that. I also acknowledge that there was another similar request made a while back, to the person who requested it don’t worry, I do have plans for it. 
Warnings: Yandere!Elvis so expect themes of obsessive, manipulative, jealous, and delusional behavior. Dubious Consent in regards to coersion being involved. Loss of virginity. Explicit sexual content depicted that includes Penetrative sex (m/f), oral sex (f.recieving), female mastubation, slight dumbification, and implied anal play. Brief depictions of choking. Touch-starvation. Mentions of Pregnancy. Referenced cheating on Elvis' part. Self-loathing. Stockholm Syndrome(?) Probably more that I am blanking on. Period-typical homophobia and closeted characters depicted. Please do not interact if you are under 18. 
Word Count: 19.8K
Masterlist
----------
You look like an angel (look like an angel)
Walk like an angel (walk like an angel)
Talk like an angel
But I got wise
You’re the devi-
It takes you longer than you would have liked to reach the radio and turn it off. And it’s only as you reach it do you realize how odd it looks from the outside when you see a customer looking at you funny. 
“Not much of a fan,” you say with an admittedly pathetic smile on your face. 
“I can see that,” he replies with an awkward smile, before going back to browsing the books. 
You bashfully turn the radio back on and quickly try to turn the knob to anything even remotely comprehensible, but it’s just your luck that this is the only station you get decent reception on in the store. With no other choice but to simply grin and bear it you put the volume on low and return to reading your book. 
You do keep an eye on your final customer of the evening, and hope he hurries up so you can finally close up for the day. Susan had been complaining about a migraine since lunch and Gina was caring for her upstairs and so it was on you to close up the shop on your own today. 
You feel embarrassed to have been seen that way but that all falls away when you hear the shop bell ring, only to be immediately followed by tiny rapid footsteps and an excited little “mama!” and you grab onto the counter before your little two and a half foot terror can knock out from behind you. Which ends up being the right call as you feel her head butt your knees and locking her arms around them nearly knocking you down.  
“Mama! Mama!” she squealed, practically vibrating, she was so excited to see you. 
“Rosie! Rosie!” you say, equally as happy to see her though you do a far better job at reining it in. She takes your hands in hers as you crouch down to look at her, and take stock. Her hair is askew with the ribbons you had tied in place this morning holding on for dear life in her beautiful curls, her face is smudgy with what you’re hoping is chocolate, and one of her socks is just gone, but both shoes are in place so you can only imagine how your little hellion managed that. Overall this is the best condition Rosie has returned to you in, after a long day with Jenny.
“Mama, Aunty Jenny took me to the Candy store!” she says, showing off the candy bracelets on her tiny wrists. 
“Really,” you say, shooting a look at your friend for giving her so much sugar before bed. The woman in question has the courtesy to at least look a little guilty about it, before giving a small laugh. 
“Mm-hmm. And we saw Danny at the playground and we-we saw Uncle Lee’s friends, and then we listened to a lotta music, and we saw a movie about a wizard and there was no one else in the whole room, and then-then…” she rapidly rambles on but you pepper her face in kisses before she can pass out from the lack of oxygen. She giggles uncontrollably and tries to squirm out of your grip, but you gotta get in one good raspberry on her cheek before you let her go.
“Alright, why don’t you go upstairs and help Aunty Gina finish up dinner,” you tell her with a smile on your face. Her “help” in the kitchen is typically watching and holding spoons and spatulas on a step stool, but she’s at an age where she believes the whole dish would fall apart without her important contribution to it, so she goes rushing to the stairs. 
But she quickly comes running back while taking the uneaten bracelet off of her wrist. “Danny said to give this to you for your birthday,” she declares. Ever since meeting Jenny’s nephew she’s seemed to hang on to every word of his, and though you’ve never met the boy he seems to be a good kid, always polite and saying hello through your daughter, but has, as you've heard, an extreme affinity towards spinning a few too many fantastical stories. But your daughter is far too young to see him as anything but a friend so you doubt you have anything to worry about as of right now. 
She’s always so eager to tell you about everything, and you’re just as eager to listen. Your folks never wanted to hear anything from you, and you pray that your attentiveness will pay off one day when she is never afraid to come to you with your troubles. Maybe if you had that with your mother you wouldn’t be where you were.
“Well tell him I said thank you,” you say, as you pull it on your wrist, placing a small kiss on her forehead before she books it back to the stairs behind the counter. As you stand back up, to your surprise you find the customer now at the counter with a good stack of books. 
“Sorry to bother Miss…ummm…” the customer says nervously. 
“Love,” you clarify for him. “Y/N Love.”
He gives a shy smile at that, “Well Miss Love, I’m ‘bout ready to check out so…” he says gesturing to his tower of books. 
“Of course,” you answer and you begin to ring him up. He’s got quite a few so at least he makes the extra time staying down here somewhat worth it. 
“Whatcha readin’ there,” he asks you, pointing to the open book you’ve left to your side. You show him your copy of We have always lived in the castle. “I-is it any good?”
“I would say so,” you answer. Though that ending did hit a little too close to home, you think to yourself. 
“So umm, d-do you like to read?” he asks hesitantly as he quietly adds a copy of the book to his pile. 
“I’d be in the wrong business if I didn’t,” you joke, and he laughs a little too hard. “How ‘bout you?” you ask, wanting to not have an awkward silence, as you’re not even halfway through the stack. 
“Yeah, I-I love reading though I don’t got a lotta time for it these days,” he says with a guilty smile on his face. 
“Why’s that?” you ask, since it seems to be the only way this conversation could go. 
“I-I just started my residency at Charity Hospital,” he says bashfully rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m Sam by the way,” apparently realizing that he hadn’t made the proper introductions. 
“Y/N,” you say, giving him a small nod and a smile. “And congratulations on your residency,” you're almost done with the final few books, but you may or may not be taking your time to finish them up, wanting to prolong the conversation you’re having for a bit. 
“Thank you, and I- well, umm… I couldn’t help but overhear your daughter, but umm… Happy Birthday,” he says ducking his head, a bit embarrassed at his own admission. 
“Oh, thank you,” you say, your face heating up slightly that he had heard. 
“Your Husband’s a lucky man,” he says, though he does steal a quick glance at you, no doubt trying to gauge your reaction.
So this is what it’s about, you think to yourself. “I’m actually not…” you trail off, and hope that he gets the message. 
“Oh, I’m glad to hear that,” he stated before his eyes widened as he realized what he just said. “I-I mean not glad like I’m happy that you-you’re not married, bu-but glad li-like I’m relieved that I hav-haven’t been trying to build up the courage to talk to a cute girl for the past few weeks only to find out she’s married already.” he blathers on and you can’t help but laugh. 
Your heart does flutter a bit at his confession. Everything about this feels like it should be perfect. Unfortunately for the both of you, you finally get a good look at his icy blue eyes that are a little too familiar for comfort, and it feels like your throat closes up. 
You can feel your stomach churning (and not just from the baby that fills it) and cold regret for not buying an extra pair of socks as you sit at the Greyhound terminal in Nashville, your feet starting practically turning into ice blocks. That cold November morning you had made a show of telling everybody you were gonna make a quick trip down to the shops for some eggs, now you’re almost a full state away praying that the bus gets here soon, jumping every time a set of headlights passes by and you're just barely keeping dry underneath the metal canopy. 
But for as cold as you are physically, your chest starts to heat up at the prospect that you’re so close to freedom from an even colder gaze. When the bus does get there you hardly sleep a wink afraid to let your guard down even now. You know how well he could sabotage your plans if he was so inclined, from small things like spoiling the surprise party you had planned for him to the major of ruining your chances to get into another school. 
You know he’s half a world away yet that still does little knowing what the most loyal of his are willing to do for him. It’s not until you finally make it to the train station in Atlanta that’ll take you down to New Orleans that you finally give in to your heavy eyelids, willing to trust strangers with your safety, aware they can’t hurt you any worse than those you know have done. 
You shake your head as you’re brought back to the present, and you hear him say something, “I’m sorry what?” you covertly wiggle your toes as you try to ground yourself and get sensation back in them as though you were just getting them out of the cold.
“I was just sayin’ there’s this club down on Bourbon that I been meanin’ to check out since movin’ down here, and I was hopin’ a local such as yourself could show me ‘round these parts,” he says, a nervous but hopeful smile on his lips. 
For a moment you can almost imagine saying yes to him, how he would take you out on the town, how he would kiss you, how he would throw your daughter up in the air. How maybe you could be happy with him.
But like a looming black cloud, in spite of the lowered volume, you hear what the new station is now playing, clear as a bell.
Oh please come to my arms and say you'll love me forever
For with the dawn, you'll be gone 
It’s almost as though He’s following you, serving as a constant reminder of what you did, and that you’re never allowed to imagine being with another man. You wordlessly turn off the radio before you’re forced to listen anymore. “Uhh, I-I’m sorry, I-I really don’t go out much,” you say, trying to shut this down as gently as you could. 
“Oh-uhh, that’s fine I umm,” he says, pivoting hard. “I’m more of a movie guy myself, I hear he’s got a new one out, and we can go and watch anything but that,” he gives a small laugh pointing to the radio, but quickly drops it upon seeing your grim expression. 
Without knowing it Sam just shut the coffin on any potential happenings between the two of you. “I’m sorry, it’s late and I gotta close up for the night,” you say softly, and he’s smart enough to take the hint. 
“O-of course,” he says looking down at the books he has in his hands. “But can you promise you’ll think about it?” he asks as he reaches the door to look back at you. 
Even before you open your mouth, you already know that your next words are going to make you lose a customer forever. “There’s nothing to think about,” you say, trying to feign apathy. Harsh as your words may be, you know this is far kinder to him in the long run as opposed to getting more involved with you. 
You watch him leave the store with a sagging shoulders and a long face, before you feel a hand meet violently with the back of your head, and you swivel around to see Jenny with an exasperated look on her face. “So a handsome, single, doctor who loves to read, and doesn’t mind that you already got a kid, asks you out and you say…” she trails off, seeming to only get more offended with every dreamy quality he had. 
“Don’tchu get like that Jenny,” you defend yourself, as you stomp to the door in order to flip the sign to closed and lock up for the night. “I’ve got a daughter to worry about and I don’t have time for a boyfriend right now.”
“Well newsflash Y/N,” she argues, “Rosie needs a daddy.”
You feel your hackles rising at that statement. “No she doesn’t,” you state firmly, not wanting to raise your voice, because you know better than anyone how easy it is to be overheard.
She deflates a little at your obvious fury at this line of questioning, before letting out a long tired sigh. “It’s just that… when we were at the park today… she asked me why she didn’t have one. And she… she just kept pressing,” she says obviously ashamed that she hurt you, but wanting to get across her reasoning. “What am I supposed to say to that? Especially when you won’t tell nobody what happened. I only got her to drop it when I took her to the candy shop.”
You feel guilty for snapping at your friend. Jenny Hodge had been an absolute godsend since you met her almost a year ago, when she and her new husband, Lee, had moved down from Alabama. Her arrival had coincided when Rosie started becoming aggressively mobile and insisted that running was the only way to get around anymore. And because she felt she needed practice with being a Mama before she had one of her own, she insisted on being your one and only babysitter, in exchange for free books every so often. 
The story around the block is that you are were the young widow who “tragically” lost her husband in an accident before he ever had the chance to meet your beautiful daughter, and with no one in the world left to turn to, you ended up on your “spinster” aunt and her “good friend” Susan’s doorstep. And Jenny, since hearing your story, has by far been your most fervent supporter outside of this house, with her support primarily coming in two flavors: 1) helping you with your daughter so she isn’t so cooped up in the store while you work and 2) trying to set you up with any moderately successful man.
“Y/N,” she says softly. “I get that it’s hard to get back out there, but you need to think about the bigger picture, because it’s only a matter of time before she starts asking you.”
You know she’s right, and that’s the worst part about it. Your little Rosie Love is a stubborn one, not to mention smart, always has been. Didn’t want to walk because she wanted to run. Hated her diaper so much she learned how to unpin it when she was barely a year old. Wanted to try to feed herself when she first took to solid food, and would snatch the spoon out of your hand when she could. She’s broken out of every play pen she’s ever been in. Hell, she was almost two weeks overdue, and the doctors were forced to induce you, she didn’t want to come out until she was good and ready.
She, like someone else you knew, is capable of throwing a wrench into any plan you make. For as endearing as it can be, it is all the more frustrating knowing exactly where she gets it from. 
With a long defeated sigh, you concede to her point and thank her for both her input and for being a good friend this past year. And maybe someday you’ll be ready to find another husband.
She has a wide cheshire-cat like grin as you say that, “And I’mma ‘bout to be a better one,” she practically sings. “Lee’s friend is in town, and I think you two would hit it off.” 
“And I think we wouldn’t,” you state, putting books back where they belong. 
“C’mon Y/N, I thought we were past this,” she whines.
“I did say someday, not today,” you emphasize.
“Y/N, your birthday’s comin’ up soon, and it ain’t like you’re gettin’ any younger. Besides Lee and I are already trying for a baby, so I ain’t gonna be so available much longer neither,” she says in a soft voice holding your hands in hers. “And you need to find someone you can rely on too, it’s not like you wanna end up like your Aunt Gina”
You say nothing not wanting to say anything incriminating about the relationship between your Aunts, as for all that you trust Jenny, you don’t trust her enough with somebody else’s secrets. 
“Just promise me you'll think about it at least,” she pleads, hands clasped over your own. 
What is it about people that, not trusting you when you answer the first time, and thinking given enough time you’ll come around? 
Yet you're no better as you let out a long tired sigh, before ultimately agreeing, if only to get her off your back. Or so you tell yourself. 
She tells you a bit about the man she has in mind for you, or more accurately she keeps insisting how perfect the two of you would be together.  In her mind it’ll be love at first sight, how he’ll love and accept Rosie as his own immediately, how she guarantees that you’ll be married within a year and be trying to give Rosie a little brother or sister. You have to bodily shove her out the door by that point lest she get into any more specifics in her attempt to sway you. 
Jenny’s a little older than you, but she is very much a romantic at heart, you suppose, though that’s the benefit of things going right in your life. 
But your story went wrong. 
“Why you in such a hurry to get out girl?” your accomplice would ask as he handed you the money (He had made it a point of order that you were never to handle any) the day before your escape. 
“There’s someone else,” you say simply, because it’s true and if they were to ever betray your trust this would be worse on them than on you. 
You got away with quite a bit back in the day like getting out of trouble for making out in a dark empty classroom by claiming to have been caught by surprise by your monthlies and now you couldn’t bear the thought of being seen like this. Or when you got hired by the library for the summer after you approached the front desk and claimed to be the new hire ready for her first day of training and nobody really bothered to check in with anybody else. Even that one time when you confidently strolled backstage at a music hall He had wanted to perform all to sneak them in through the back door and convinced just enough people that his band was meant to perform that night.
Your ability to make up stories on the fly and map things out in your head had led you to believe that you would make for a pretty good mystery writer. You had even tried to go to school to be one, though you told everyone it was to be a teacher, a far more respectable and womanly job.
Well not everyone.
He certainly knew. 
Knew about your talent for planning and story-telling, and was practically always in awe to see it in action. But this recognition came at the expense that he was aware of your tricks and he always knew how to throw you off just enough to make any plans you made go belly up. Whether it was something relatively small like figuring out you were planning a surprise party to the major… like when you tried to end things the first time around.
He called you almost every night when he was on tour, and you had done your best to relay all that was going on back in Memphis. And in spite of his insistence that he wants to hear about it, you suspect that he wasn’t being truthful. He especially seemed disgruntled when you made any mention of doing anything with anyone else. Your friends, his friends, even your own family weren’t safe from his ire.  
When He was here you would do everything together, yet now that you tell him about all that you’d been doing, there is a slight but noticeable edge when he speaks to you over the phone. Everytime you mention how you went to the movie theater or you went to the record store or the bookshop, it was almost always met with a solemn “we used to do that together.” 
You would have gone with him, had your parents let you, and He knows that so you don’t understand why he’s so sore about the fact that you’re not simply sitting on your hands back home waiting for him to return. 
So in an effort to spare his feelings you asked him about the things he was doing, you even go out of your way to say how happy you were when he was telling you about all of the fun things he had done on the road. You’re happy to hear it all and you thought 
You miss him just as fiercely but you don’t want it to stop you from living. 
But when you got your acceptance letter, you saw the writing on the wall. You both were going in different directions: you were going to be studying, were barely going to be home and his star just kept growing and growing each day taking him further out and making him harder to reach. You know you wanted this and you begin to suspect you may want it more than you want to stay with him, if staying with him meant being alone all the same. 
This was only confirmed in the weeks leading up to Prom when you couldn’t get a straight answer out of him of whether or not He would be able to make it. It was on you to practically plan everything down to what he would wear, while his whole contribution was to show up- maybe?
Whether He did show up or not that night, you thought the result would be the same with you officially breaking things off between you two. But you still held out hope that at least if he did come you would have one last good memory. 
And to your relief He does make it, but he’s a little off the whole night. Not in the sense that his mind is elsewhere, more like he’s trying to commit everything about the night into memory, and looking at you with sad eyes when he thinks you’re not looking. 
It all comes to a head when you’re parked outside of your house, and you’re sitting in a loaded silence with him at the wheel. He’s gripping onto that thing for dear life and you’re wondering if maybe you should save it, but you think you know yourself well enough to know that if you don’t say it now, you won't say it ever. 
So as he’s opening his mouth to say something, you cut him off with his name. 
“...I-I got accepted to Southwestern,” you blurted out to him and He looked so confused at your admission, but you push through. “I start in the fall, so I’m not gonna be home much anymore, and with y-you being on the road so much, I think it best that we-”
“Marry me,” he blurts out, panic etched across his face.
Your jaw is left practically on the floor as that was the last thing you ever expected out of his mouth. 
You would later find out that he went to Prom with the same intention as you did but it was in that moment that he realized you weren’t going to wait for him to come back did he want to lock you down. But you didn’t see that in the moment. 
What you saw at the time was the declaration that he was just as committed as you were, and so overwhelmed by the love you still felt for him at the time, you had no choice but to give an emphatic yes to him. 
“We’re gonna figure this out baby,” He promises with a kiss. 
That was the first time you tried to leave him.
“-Danny’s a real good singer Aunty. He told me he lives in Neverland and one day he would take me and-and he told me this is the only place in the whole word that they sell peanut butter cups,” you would hear as you made your way up the stairs connecting to the apartment above the store. You look into the small kitchen where you see your little girl sitting on the counter talking her aunt’s ear off idly dangling her little feet while holding a spatula you're not entirely sure is necessary. Gina looks over to you and gives you a playfully exasperated look, and you simply shrug your shoulders before moving into the small kitchen to pepper your little one's face in kisses. 
“Alright sticky missy,” you announce, blowing a raspberry on her cheek and swiping the utensil out of her hand as she trills in delight. “You go wash up for dinner now, ya’ hear, and go wake up Aunty, I think she’ll feel alot better seeing you.”
“Ok Mama,” she says. She is utterly fearless as she slides herself to get off of the counter, and lands on her feet below. You can’t help the swell of pride that bubbles up in your chest seeing it, how brave your little girl is. You hope that you can take it as a sign that you’re doing ok at this motherhood thing. 
Gina likes to say that you were just as bold at that age with the confidence of someone so sure they can take on the world, and in quieter moments she’ll lament how you lost that in you. You would be offended if you didn’t already know when exactly you lost it. 
She had always been your favorite Aunt until you were about twelve and and your father would coldly tell you she died and was in hell now. Rather than a funeral, the family got together to destroy her things and swear to never speak of her again. 
That didn’t stop her from visiting you one last time and telling you she was moving down to New Orleans with her friend Susan. She would take you to your favorite bookstore one last time in Memphis and promised that if you ever needed a place to stay, to not even hesitate to come, because she knew better than anyone what your family would do to girls who stepped out of line. 
For years the only evidence that she was even alive was the annual birthday and Christmas gift you would get from her all under the guise of Nancy Drew books stamped with the name of a bookstore all the way in New Orleans. You cherished them and it’s one of the few things you took after your parents kicked you out. 
You only wished you had taken the offer when your father had kicked you out and you were forced to rely on someone else. 
“So I hear you broke another heart,” Gina idly says as she starts scooping some rice onto a plate.
You let out a long sigh, “When did Jenny find the time to tell you?” You’re more amazed than annoyed considering she didn’t leave your sight once down stairs. 
“Jenny?” she says, raising a brow. “No Sue told me earlier how Lou from King’s Cafe ‘s been askin’ after you.”
Lou who always had extra beignets to give away when you took Rosie for a walk in the mornings. He recently asked if you had ever been on the Algiers ferry, and how beautiful it looked at night.
…You’ve been taking a different route to the playground since then. 
“Is my love life just everybody’s business,” you ask frustrated that you weren’t even given a five minute break from this. 
“In this house: yes,” she states, a grin on her face. 
“Gina if this is about me movin’ out, you can talk to me, I’m a big girl,” you insist, trying to deflect and not have to think about it anymore. 
“Sweetheart,” she says solemnly, placing a hand on your cheek. I may not be your mama, but I do think that you need to think about what’s best for Rosie,” she insists as she puts place mats down on the table. 
Gina’s a little closer to the situation than Jenny, as she had asked no questions as to why you all of a sudden needed a place to stay far from your parents with nary a husband or boyfriend in sight to take responsibility for the baby growing within you. She had also been the one to help spread the tragic young widow narrative, and for as much of a gossip she can be, you know she’s a steel trap for secrets that matter. 
“What does me getting, or not getting, a boyfriend have to do with Rosie?”
“A boyfriend? Nothing,” she dismisses. “A husband on the other hand…”she says with a smile.
“Don’tchu come talkin’ to me ‘bout gettin’ a husband,” you say, handing her another plate of food. 
She laughs at that, “It’s not just about you gettin’ a husband, it’s about Rosie gettin’ a father,” she insists amused at your mulishness. 
“Not you too,” you mourn what you thought was going to be a quiet evening. 
“I’m just sayin’ that every child deserves two parents,” putting the lid back on the pot. 
“She’s got three mama’s,” you counter.
“No,” she says waving the wooden spoon in front of your face. “She’s got one mama and two grandmas that spoil her rotten behind your back.” You open your mouth to protest, until she quickly follows up with, “Oh speak of the devil herself,” as you see your little troublemaker dragging Susan by the hand to the table, whom you had to bully into taking a rest to somewhat alleviate the migraine she had been having for most of the day.
Your daughter can talk for hours if left unchecked and you're eager to hear all of it as she bounces from subject to subject at the dinner table. You had always felt somewhat guilty intruding on their space, but Gina insists nothing of the sort and Susan jokes that the two of them are getting the full kid/grandkid experience through you and Rosie, since the traditional way ain’t for them.
Between bites she regaled the three of you with all that she did today which included seeing a dog, the playground being shiny, spinning around so fast on the merry-go-round she almost went into space, made friends with some of the ducks, saw another dog, Danny gave her his popcorn, got a lot of candy from the candy shop, and gave some jelly beans to the last dog she saw today, but only the green ones she doesn’t like, and then feeling bad about it and giving it some of the red ones to even it out.
She doesn’t mention anything to you about asking Jenny about why she doesn't have a daddy, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the first break you’ve had all day. Some may say you indulge her too much, but all three grown women at this table know exactly how it feels to have their thoughts and feelings ignored, and you all had come to the mutual understanding that Rosie would never have to feel this way in this house.
“Mama, I forgot to tell you,” Rosie states after she shoveled the last of her food into her mouth. “Barbie got a new job today!” she delights as she thrusts the doll in your face. 
“Really?” you say trying to match even a quarter of her excitement. “Is she mmm… a firefighter?”
“No!” she squeals, delighted in the game you play with her. 
Making a big show of putting a finger to your temple and closing one eye, apparently deep in thought, you ask, “Is she a… detective?” 
“No that was yesterday!” she’s practically buzzing to tell you, but holds it in to keep this game going.
“Oh!” you say, pretending to have a lightbulb moment. “She’s a wizard!” You know your daughter well enough, so you’re reasonably confident in your guess knowing that Jenny took her to see that Disney movie today. 
“No,” she laughs, “She’s an actress, but she also sings in all her movies.”
“O-oh,” you say, genuinely caught off guard by that. “Why’s that?” It’s certainly not an unusual thing for a little girl to declare, but for your daughter it most definitely was. When she declared what Barbie was going to be it was always influenced by something she saw that day. Sometimes she was a baker, sometimes a ballerina, even one memorable time a bus driver, but this is a first. Even when she has seen movies with actors in it she didn’t quite understand the concept that those aren’t their real jobs on screen, and she would pick that, which is why you guessed wizard.
“Because Danny does that,” she declares, as she starts to make Barbie dance on the dinner table.
And then it made sense, your daughter’s friend, Danny, who according to Jenny, has a penchant for making up stories. To your daughter the boy’s been a cowboy, a soldier, he’s as strong as superman, can play any instrument, and now apparently is a famous actor. 
You give an amused huff, “I see Danny’s at it again,” you state, as you take her plate. It’s a literal miracle that Jenny’s impromptu trip to the candy store didn’t spoil her appetite, and but you don’t know how much of an appetite she’ll have for dessert so you decide to just split a slice of King cake with her. 
“At what mama?” she asks as Gina wipes some of her food off her face. 
“He’s telling stories again,” you say as you bring Gina and Susan their dessert plates. 
“No he’s not,” she states, furrowing her brow, and you can’t help but quirk a smile at how stressed she looks as you sit down. “I saw it myself.” 
“I’m sure you did, but Honey, it's just… sometimes boys have a habit of telling… tall tales,” you suppose that’s the nice way of putting it. It’s a fine line you walk with her, wanting to have her believe in herself most of all, but also wanting her to not believe everything she’s told, especially by boys. You’re the textbook example of what happens to supposedly smart girls who get in too deep with charming boys.
“But it’s true mama,” she insists, raising her voice a bit. 
“Sweetheart, I think he means, he wants to be that when he grows up,” you try to gently justify, as you subtly try to nudge the fork closer to her. 
“No mama, I saw it,” she asserts, getting progressively more upset defending her friend. “He is a famous actor and he was singing and dancing at the theater.”
“And I’m sure he’s gonna be a big star one day when he’s all grown up,” you try to assuage how worked up she’s getting. “But I don’t think he’s one right now.” 
“No mama!” she yells at the top of her lungs, angry tears streaming down her face. “You’re a liar!” You feel your stomach drop to the floor and she herself looks shocked at what she just said. She proceeds to cry even harder before turning tail and running straight into the room you share with her and slamming the door as hard as she could. 
When you were far enough away, and somewhat comfortable in your new environment in Your Aunties home, the first thing you did was read nearly every book about motherhood you could find. You were determined to do this right as you had made the unilateral decision for your baby to only have one parent. So you decided as a means of making up for it you would be all the parent she would need. 
Doubt creeps into the back of your throat that you made the wrong decision and that you in fact were not enough on your own and that she never would have done that if He were around. 
“You want me to go talk to her?” Gina would ask after hearing your door slam shut. 
As bad as you want to say yes from the exhausting day you’ve had so far, you’re not about to foist your duties as a mother off onto her right now. She understands but you don’t miss the pointed look she gives to Sue, as she walks away to clean up dinner, and you bury your hand in your face hoping if you wish hard enough this day will finally come to a close. 
“I remember the first time I yelled at my mama,” Sue off-handedly says after a few minutes. “Always too scared that that wretched woman would beat me black and blue if I was ever less than perfect,” she takes a sip of her tea. “And she did just that when I got fed up with all her teasing about me getting a boyfriend.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
“What I’m gettin’ at is… I was never comfortable enough with my own mother to be angry with her.”
“Am I bad at this?” 
“You’re still new at this Hon,” she reassures you. “There's a big difference.”
Despite the fact that Gina was the one related to you by blood, Sue’s the only one in the world who even has an inkling as to what exactly you left behind. And that is only because she was a front row spectator to it.
You had managed to get permission to leave the hotel room for a few hours while He was on set that day. He had brought you down from Memphis, not wanting you so far out of reach and yet you were still pretty much kept confined. You had long since exhausted the books you had brought for the trip, and you were practically itching to get out. 
Books were your only escape from this place. Where you could vicariously solve a mystery or meet royalty or stop a war or any other number of exciting things in your head. But inevitably you close the book and the story ends and your back in this fucking hotel room. 
You realize by getting more books you're just masking a symptom rather than actually treating the illness. You couldn’t take it anymore and had begged Him to at least let you go to a bookstore to keep you occupied, because by that point you were willing to pay the price for it. 
Sue had been the only one in the store the day but you hadn’t really taken notice of her, your eyes had been darting around everywhere trying to find Gina. Sonny was in there as well, as you were only able to bargain your way to being in here and picking out the books, but not enough to be able to enter the store alone. Sonny had been the one to pull the short straw and had been put on Y/N duty today. Usually that consisted of sitting in the hotel and making sure you didn’t go anywhere while also completely ignoring you.
Everybody knows the story of the last guy that paid a little too much attention to you. You still couldn’t look at raw ground beef without crying.
Outside of the occasional gathering you don’t really interact with anybody out of the immediate vicinity of home. It’s funny how He can put you in a room filled to the brim with his people yet make you feel so alone at the same time. It would be amazing if it didn’t make you feel so awful at the same time. 
It’s a terrible thing He does, but it’s made all the worse that so many people can see what he’s doing keeping you prisoner and isolated and yet no one will ever dare breach it 
If anything they actually help him as they all report to him practically what you did that day, do their best to talk you out of leaving the room, and even when you do insist on going off on your own, the men are quick to remind you that He won’t like it one bit. They won’t physically stop you, (they know the worst thing they can do is put their hands on you) but you know that’s where their “help” begins and ends. 
At one point you even tried to play ball and asked for His permission last time you were in LA and you had wanted to go to the Griffith Observatory. You had asked in advance, agreed to only being there for two hours, and even gave in to being essentially chaperoned from a distance. Initially He had agreed to the terms and You thought you had done good and maybe you were finally coming to somewhat of a middle ground with him. 
But in the days leading up to the trip He would ask for favors in return. They all just happened to be things you had refused to do for him up until that point. When you refused He would at first seemingly accept your answer, and then He would idly remind you of your upcoming trip before asking you again. You weren’t stupid enough to miss the connection and so you did what you thought you had to do for just the slightest taste of freedom.
Who are you kidding?
You practically begged and did tricks for Him like a dog for just the slightest bit of slack on your leash. 
You could barely move the morning of the trip both physically and emotionally drained from what he had you do the night before, but you still persevered if only to make all that you went through worth it.
It wasn’t worth it. 
Everything you saw that day was completely soured by what you had to do to get there. Every step felt like agony, and you had to make a conscious effort to not walk funny. And before you knew it the two hours were up and Red was telling you it was time to leave. 
You don’t know what’s worse, the punishments or the favors. 
You had to go the favor route today as otherwise he would have simply sent for someone to get you whatever books they could find, rather than letting you pick. You already know you’re going to get it when he finds out you went to a different bookstore than initially planned. You thought you could at the very least make it worth it by seeing one familiar face, but even fate denied you that as Gina was nowhere to be seen. 
It was cold enough to justify wearing something to cover up most of the bruises, but that didn’t mean they were all hidden. You wouldn’t know it at the time but your skittishness coupled with the bruises struck a chord with Susan before you fully checked out of the store.
“I’m sorry if this sounds like an odd question but ummm…” you say, glancing around, making sure that Sonny was too far to hear. “Does Gina work here?”
Sue immediately tenses up, and you curse your caginess, as you reassure her that you’re Gina’s niece, Y/N. She seems to relax hearing that so at least she knows that you try to maintain a good relationship, sporadic your letters may be. 
“What happened there honey?” she asks, gesturing to your wrist that has a ring of bruises on it, which you quickly move to hide. You internally curse yourself for your sloppiness. He doesn’t mean to hurt you but he tends to lose himself and be a little rougher especially when he’s worried about something else. 
He’s been a little rougher for a few months now.
“Oh-ummm,” you steal a glance at Sonny, who was making his way to the counter. “Yes I am ready to check out.” Gesturing to the three towers of books you’ve managed to accumulate.
This doesn’t go unnoticed by Sue nor does she miss Sonny's statement of remembering the rules as to what you’re allowed to get, if her disapproving look is anything to go by. He’s fine with you reading but doesn’t like you reading books that will put “ideas” in your head. 
You don’t exactly know what that means as the standards seem to change depending on His mood and it’s always a gamble as to what he will or won’t allow you to have. You fear the day He grows the same hatred for fictional men that he has for any man within your vicinity. 
You're genuinely sad when it comes time to pay, (Well Sonny pays, He doesn’t like the idea of you handling money), and then Susan does something you could never have anticipated in a million years as Sonny grabs one stack and goes to put it in the car. 
You wished it had been anybody but Sonny that day. His last girlfriend, whom he swore he was gonna make Mrs. Sonny West, had made the mistake of trying to befriend you outside of gatherings. She stopped by the house frequently just to visit and even invited you out to the salon. 
And it was your mistake to believe you could have a friend that he would finally approve of. Friend or family, He eventually found something to disapprove of for everybody close to you previously. You thought that because she was already nominally part of the group, it would be fine to go.  
He made it clear by the time you got home that it wasn’t. 
You never saw her again after that and Sonny’s resented you ever since. You can hardly blame him, it’s easier to point the finger at you for not anticipating the unspoken rules, as opposed to the man who signs his checks and makes the rules. 
You know that even the slightest toe out of line will be reported back to Him in the worst light. So you had to be on your best behavior. 
“Y’know I highly recommend this book,” Sue says, sliding the book she had been reading at the counter to you. 
Wide Sargasso Sea, the cover reads.
“Oh thank you but I already paid,” you say, almost afraid of this conversation. “And besides I already have enough books.”
“Sweetheart you can never have too many,” she insists and without looking opens it up to the first page where you see a little handwritten note. She closes it up before you can see what it says and slyly slots it in the middle of a stack. 
Later on when you feel sufficiently safe enough to look at it you nearly burst into tears.
In case you need help
feel free to call
(xxx-xxxx)
Such a small thing really, but it’s the most human connection you’ve had with anyone else but Him in a long time. 
You spend the next hour or two committing that string of numbers to memory before you proceed to rip out that page, shred it, and flush the remnants down the toilet. 
Even when you were burning the number into your brain, you never thought you would have ever had the guts to use it. Back when you thought you could accept what looked to be your fate. 
It would be unfair to say it was all bad, after all there was a reason you did fall for Him in the first place. When you would read mysteries and He would listen to you criticize the culprits' plans and schemes and he would look in awe at how you would’ve gotten away with it. Or how fun it was to sneak out with him, your family none the wiser. Even when things got bad and it felt like He was the only one that would talk to you for days, you cherished it because it truly felt like he was your life line. 
When things were good they were great, it was just when they were bad did you start to recognize them. 
Things were bad a lot towards the end. 
Gladys had been one of the few willing to go to bat for you, and perhaps the only one who He would listen to. She was the only one who could set him straight when he got huffy at the thought of you having some basic independence of being able to go outside and not needing to be watched like a child all the time. 
She was the one you went to with your suspicions and early symptoms, when you were too afraid to go to the doctor that reported right back to Him. 
She had also been the only one who knew your fears about having this baby. In your mind there were a total of two possibilities for the life the baby would live. One that they would live a life like yours, isolated within the walls of the house under their fathers obsessive gaze, never to experience the outside world. Or two He would hate the baby on principle and see it as just competition for your time and attention like he did with everybody else.
She did her best to try to quell your fears, trying to assert He would never do either of those things, especially, the last one. 
But you saw it in her eyes how she knows how sour He would get when he would come home to find you playing with his younger cousins. How He gets when someone new so much as looks your way a beat too long, or has the gall to get your attention.
How you’re barely allowed to talk to other girls your own age and that’s only saved for special occasions when his friends bring their girlfriends and He’s otherwise occupied. And even then He has a penchant for just removing you from them just to have you sit with him, and you’re out in the awkward position of being the odd one out in his group.
How when you did gather up the nerve to bring up the topic of babies to him one night his answer was “I ain’t ready to share ya’ darlin’, I don’t think I’ll eva be.”
But your most hard-hitting evidence was what happened to your dog, Hardy. He had been an old stray you saw skulking around the property, and whom you took in when He was touring. Hardy didn’t have much of an interest in running around or playing fetch, just sitting by your side and eating treats. 
Everything was good until He returned. You knew it was gonna be trouble the moment He walked through the door and saw you scratching the dog’s belly. Inspite of the fact that Hardy was usually tolerant of strangers, something about Him immediately put the usually placid dog on edge. You immediately got to work on trying to find some sort of compromise in regards to him, and offered everything from making Hardy a permanently outside dog to even being willing to have him be boarded with a family member while He was home. 
You had asked Gladys where Hardy was the very next morning when you couldn’t find him anywhere, only to be told that He had taken him out for a walk. You didn’t have the heart to be told a lie when He returned alone.
He started taking you with him at that point, and you hardly knew a moment's peace after that.
Your attention is not your own to freely give away, let alone your affection, He expects it all to go to him. He did lord knows what to a dog that had had the misfortune of occupying some of your time when he was there, you hardly wanted to chance the life of a baby that would need all of it. 
However in spite of all of that, you thought with her by your side you would be able to weather his reaction, whatever it may be. Even if your worst fear came to be and He didn’t really want anything to do with the baby, you could at least have someone to love the baby just as fiercely even when you were otherwise occupied by Him. It wasn’t necessarily fair, but you could somewhat see the function of it, and in spite of the weariness he’s instilled in you by that point, you were still reasonably confident in your ability to plan for the long term.
And then Gladys died.
And you were left to navigate the hardest thing you could face alone. 
“Ain’t nobody ever talks about how hard this can be. Or how easy it is to mess up,” Sue continues as she polishes off her plate. “But maybe…” she prods. “If you had a partner to help ease the load, you wouldn’t doubt yourself so much.”
You groan at this point wanting to truly be done with this day already. “Not this again,” you bemoan. 
“Honey,” she says with a firm but comforting grip on your shoulder. “I know a thing or two about leaving bad things behind, but I do think sometimes you need to let someone else in to help you recover,” she says. And almost like they rehearsed it, Gina comes in with a mug of tea, and a kiss to Susan’s forehead as she demands she go back to bed to rest up.
You want to argue back that you did a good enough job of recovering by yourself, but that’s hardly fair to say considering how you were about as helpless as Rosie herself that first year and a half you were here. You had thought that you would’ve been out of here maybe a couple months after giving birth, and been in a completely new place with no ties whatsoever. But the reality is that there’s no possible way you or Rosie would have survived without the help they were so willing to give. 
And that’s all they’re trying to do now. 
You take a minute to fully gather yourself, as you realize you being upset won’t help Rosie in the slightest. You also pick up the slice of cake, as you don’t want her to think she’s being punished for being upset with you. 
You find her hiding underneath the blankets of the bed you share with her and you can only hear sniffling at this point. You try to approach this delicately, as this is new territory for the both of you, so you place the cake on the nightstand, crawl underneath the sheets with her, and allow for her to come to you. Luckily you don’t have to wait for long.
“Mama!” she cries as she buries her face in your bosom, her tears already soaking through the cotton material. “Mama, I didn’t mean it! Please don’t be mad! I’m sorry Mama! Please don’t leave.”
“Sweetheart it’s okay,” you reassure her, running your nails up and down her back, as it always did the trick of settling her down when she was a baby. “Mama’s not goin’ anywhere without you. I’m always gonna be with you.” You hardly put her down her first year of life, going against all the books and holding her at just about every possible moment, so you can hardly fathom where she got this idea in her head that you would leave if you got upset with her. But remembering what Jenny had told you earlier, you have the sneaking suspicion it is related to her noticing the lack of a father in her life. 
“I’m sorry mama! I’m sorry…” she repeats over and over again, and for each time you make sure to reassure her that nothing she could ever do would make you leave. 
Finally when she’s tired herself out and her eyes are red and raw do you finally speak. “Rosie, it’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to be mean, because you’re mad,” you say softly to her running your nails on her back, something that has always soothed her. 
She rubs her eyes and wipes her runny nose before looking up at you again, and gives a groggy “I understand Mama.” 
“Good,” you say, kissing her forehead. “Now can you help me finish this cake.” 
You see her eyes widen before she eagerly grabs the fork and dives right in. With your help, it’s not long before it’s almost entirely gone and when she takes that final bite of the cake she goes wide-eyed sticking her fingers in her mouth to pick out the errant piece. “What’s this Mama?” she says holding the little porcelain baby up. 
“Oh you found it Rosie,” you say excitedly, “This means you’re going to have good luck.”
“... Like a wish?”
“Sort of,” you answer.
She gives an excited shriek before she clasps the little figurine in her hands and whispers something almost inaudible to it, with the only recognizable words being “Danny” and “Neverland.” You’re slightly disappointed that your lesson hadn’t quite landed today, but you choose to leave it for now, as you don’t see the harm in wishing to go to a non-existent magical place. 
Once teeth are brushed and pajamas are put on, Rosie settles into bed, but not before making sure you’re not about to break your long-held tradition of storytime. She’s the type of kid who when she likes one story she demands to hear it over and over again. 
And lately she’s latched onto Rapunzel. 
The whole concept does unsettle you greatly, for how close it is to your story. But whatever qualms you have with the story you’re not gonna deny your daughter, because your problems are your own cross to bear, not hers. 
As you read it you get to the part where the witch mother casts her out of the tower and she wanders the forests with her children. You wonder if Rapunzel ever found joy in those years away from the mother who isolated her, away from the prince who could have taken advantage of her. She survived not only on her own, but kept others alive as well. WHat did she do? Did she forage and hunt for her babies, did she find a village where she could work to support her family? 
Sometimes you wonder if she did truly live happily after the end of the story, or if she traded one cage for another as you did before. 
Your daughter is long asleep by the time you reach the happily ever after part of the story. She’s still in the habit of sucking her thumb at night, so you gently remove it, and put one of her favorite stuffies in her arms. And that marks the end of your daily duties, so in theory you should be able to finally fall asleep and be done with this day. 
In theory.
In actuality you creep out of the bed you share with your daughter into the single bathroom of the apartment. Usually her steady breathing tends to be enough to get you to fall asleep, it’s been that way ever since she was a baby, but you’re left feeling agitated having had to think of Him more than usual today. 
Not just because of the song on the radio, but Rosie’s outburst reminded you far too much of her father. It feels like the worst injustice that she mimics someone who isn’t even here.
Now that ain’t my fault now is it darlin’? A familiar voice whispers in your mind. You feel a shudder run down your spine at the thought of him, not to mention the way you shamefully feel yourself pool within your underwear. You slide down the bathroom door, out of sight of the mirror, as though that will prevent you from facing what you’re about to do. You even close your eyes for good measure as your hand reaches your folds and your fingers caress the slick outer lips of your pussy. 
You had tried to ignore this part of yourself for so long. You justified it during your pregnancy, as your body had been making you want to do other stupid things like sleep right in the middle of the store or eat paint chips. Even after giving birth and your inner feelings remaining unchanged, you justified it by thinking you were just particularly lonely, and for all that he kept you isolated, you were never alone when you were with him. Or that he was the only man you ever knew that way so he’s all you had to go off of in order to satisfy these urges.
For as much as your mind curses Him for ever coming into your life, even after all these years, your body has yet to catch up. 
You’re far from unique in your desire for him, but it’s especially shameful for you as you know what he’s truly like. It’s like scratching a mosquito bite, you may know that it’ll just make the itching worse, but dear god did it feel good in the moment. 
But even that is far from an accurate description as you plunge your on fingers into your sopping channel in a poor imitation of what you remember. 
You bite your lip in an effort to keep noises at bay but it just makes you concentrate on the wet squelching sounds echoing through the bathroom as you plunge your fingers into yourself. The sharp sting of pain forcing your mind back to where you experience the most of it. 
“You’re so sweet darlin’,” he purrs, his jaw glistening from your juices having just made a feast of you for the past hour or so. He had made it a game to see how close he could bring you without actually letting you cum, something he tends to do when someone looks your way for a little too long, as though he means to re-establish his claim over you. That only he can give you pleasure like this but take it away on a whim if he chooses. 
“No more…” you beg, new tears forming and following the trail previously set, your lips undoubtedly bruised from how much you have been chewing on them throughout. “Please,” your thighs aching from the death grip he has them in, undoubtedly leaving bruises for you to feel in the morning. 
“Alright,” he says seemingly conceding. But before you can breathe a sigh of relief, he continues, “we’ll switch it up for tonight.”
He flips you over to your front, spreads your legs wide open again, and dives right back in. 
You can’t help the way you’re left trembling from the memory, but what does shake you somewhat is the when you realize that it’s not simply the ghost of the memory that is making you feel that bruising pressure on your inner thigh, but in fact your own hand keeping it there. 
Still the masochist within you that yearns for the ghost of a man you once thought you knew takes a hold and refuses to let go now that you’re so close to release. So you give in and continue your frantic movements biting down hard on your lip to prevent any errant cries from leaving, and grip onto your thigh for dear life, even now trying to deny yourself that you want him here with you.
As you’re coming down from your high, you fight back your tears of shame. Trying to remind yourself why you left in the first place. How for all the moments he made you feel amazing, they weren’t worth the amount of grief he caused you on a near day-to-day basis.
Grief he’s still causing you more like it. 
You don’t think you could have written a better love story in the beginning. You met him when your eyes locked on each other from across your favorite bookstore back in Memphis. He had oh so shyly approached you and asked what you were reading, a bit starry eyed as he listened. Back then and arguably still the concept of a man listening to you was such a novel and unique thing to experience. 
It progressed from there, hand-holding in the school hallway, shared milkshakes at the local diner, and Sunday dinners with his family. Of course there were the less than wholesome aspects of your relationship of stray hands when no one was looking and heated kisses after a particularly rousing performance.
Truly the hallmarks of the greatest love story the world had ever seen. 
If only you knew how wrong a love story can go, because your story went very wrong. 
You vividly remember your first time with him.
Undoubtedly the cruelest thing he ever did to you.
You were never supposed to find out about the other girls, well that’s not true. The newspapers sure knew about them but he had convinced you that it was all nonsense and that he would never do that to you. All of his friends knew, hell even some of their girlfriends knew, but ideally you were never supposed to find out. 
But the only chink in the armor was that there was in fact someone who had wanted you out as soon as he stepped in. Fact of the matter is that he was practically giddy as he told you what your fiance had been doing on the road up until that point. You were heartbroken and humiliated as to what he did and even more so when you learned he had been gearing up to break up with you the night he proposed, but only stopped when he realized that you wouldn’t be waiting for him, once his career settled.
He had been calling your house non-stop and sending his friends over all with the mission to coax you into talking to him. Worse still he even got your own friends in on it and now you can’t have a single conversation with any of them that doesn’t turn into them telling you how sorry he feels for hurting you and how he desperately wants you back. 
The only people, aside from his manager, that were happy at this development were your parents. They had liked him up until he started to really take off in his career, and they wanted none of the controversy, especially when it came to your squeaky clean, good girl image they had for you. 
They’ve been walking around with the smuggest “I told you so” looks ever since you announced that you were done with him. If only they knew their good girl had been sneaking in her boyfriend for the past three years and had a whole routine for doing so.
But the downside to this is that He was just as aware of the routine as you were. And despite it having been awhile he evidently remembered enough as he stood outside your window, right after all the lights in your house had gone out. 
“Get outta here,” you hiss at him, opening the window just a crack. “You’re gonna wake up my parents.”
“Baby I gotta talk to you,” he pleads, his face utterly heartbroken. Guilt eats at you, knowing how there were days you wished you could go back to not knowing at all. But then you get angry at not only him but yourself for these thoughts. 
If only all of your love for him had died the moment you found out, you would’ve had the strength to shut the window on him that night, and your life probably would’ve taken a very different course. 
But no, you’re hurt and you felt that you had to have the final word. “Talk to one a your other girls,” you say as you move to close your window but he beats you to it and ends up opening it wider, allowing for him to fully step into your space. 
“Get out,” you say severely. “Get out, or I’ll scream.” 
“Darlin’, please listen,” he begs.
“Don’tchu ‘baby’ ‘darlin’ me,” you whisper-yell. 
“I swear things’ll be different this time round,” he pleads, clasping his hands in yours. 
“I’m done with your nonsense, I want you outta my house and outta my life.” tears are already streaming down your face and you make no motion to wipe them away. If he’s gonna hurt you like this he deserves to know. 
He looks at you. Truly looks at you and sees that you’re dead serious about this, that for you there is no coming back from this. 
“Okay,” he says solemnly, looking down at you more defeated than you’ve ever seen him, unfelled tears doting his eyes, and his bottom lip trembling. 
That takes you by surprise, but you try not to show it. “Good,” you say, trying to stamp down the urge to be mad that he’s not fighting harder. There is a hurricane of emotions going through your entire being, hating him and loving him at the same time, but you recognize that you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of being able to sort through said emotions while he’s here. 
“But…”
“But?” you say, confused as to what more there is to say. 
“Let me have you,” he begs breathlessly, stepping closer to you, boxing you into the wall behind you. “Just for tonight,” he clarifies as though that’s gonna make it better.
That offends you but you can’t afford to raise your voice so you hiss at him that it’s not as though you didn’t offer when he was here. “I ain’t ever gonna forgive myself for bein’ so stupid and steppin’ out on you, I-I thought I had more time, tha-that we’d got the rest of our lives together,” he says his voice painfully small, and his eyes pleading with you to agree. 
Your heart swells hearing his words, pleading with your brain to forgive him seeing how much pain the thought of never being with you again is causing the both of you. Another, unmentionable part is also hounding your brain to accept his offer if only for the fact that you had wanted this yourself for so long.
“If-If I do that…” you say in a low voice, your face burning as to what the both of you want but aren’t saying aloud. “Then you’ll leave and never come back?” though even as you say that you’re not exactly sure how you feel over that prospect.
“Just one night sweetheart,” he begs, giving you a quick desperate kiss to your lips. “One night to know what a life with you could’ve been like, and I’ll be outta yer hair forever,” he says with a quick peck to your lips. 
He makes it almost sound romantic, not like he’s quite literally backing you into a corner, and coaxing you into something you’re not sure you want just so that you would finally know peace from him. But that's far from your mind as that little bit of contact does something to you and it’s like opening the floodgates for all the feelings for him you’ve been trying to bury. 
It feels like you're transported to almost a year ago when, he would sneak his way back into your room after having said his goodbyes to your family and parking his car around the corner out of view. How you both move your blankets and pillows onto the floor to avoid the creaky springs of your mattress, how you both keep your voices low, and muffle most sounds with the pillows, how he kicks off his shoes and unbuttons his shirt before slowly undressing you, your body being treated like a present to unwrap. 
Like this it’s easy to forget what he did, easy to forget the pain he’s caused when he’s treating you so sweetly. Kissing every inch of skin, nipping at your sensitive skin every so often, before laving at the bruising area with his tongue. You bite down on your lip hard, willing yourself to keep a cap on the filthy moans and declarations of love alike. 
You had done things with him before but it had never felt quite like this. He had always been insistent that you wait until the wedding night for that, wanting to savor you and all you had to offer before the time came. Which made it feel all the worse when you did find out about those other girls. Your friends had tried to justify it by saying that he was just getting in some “practice” for you, but that hardly made it feel any better. 
But the way he touches you, so sure of his newfound skills, it’s almost easy to forgive him. He treats you almost deceptively sweet, and for as hard as you try to keep yourself quiet, you admittedly don’t do a great job at it. But you manage to keep a good enough lid on yourself. But as it goes on it feels like he himself forgets that he had to do the same, as moans and groans alike continue to escape from his mouth. 
That should’ve been your first clue that he was up to something, but by then as he continues to bury himself deeper and deeper into you, you can’t focus on much else. Had you been thinking straight you would remember he arguably has better control of himself than you do, as he often would tease you over it. 
But in the moment that’s not what you’re thinking about. All you had on your brain was him, and how good and right he felt.
If you could go back in time you think you would’ve strangled your younger, far more naive self, as now in retrospect it became clear what he was planning on doing. He had no qualms to exposing what you had done already with him if it meant merely getting a chance to talk to you, why wouldn’t he take the opportunity to go full scorched earth if given the chance. 
He continues his steady rhythm, and when he whispers in your ear, “It’s only ever gonna be you, darlin’,” you find yourself letting out a silent scream. Your eyes screwed shut, so lost in the pleasure of it all, you would only get the tail-end of the disdainful look he would give upon failing to get you to crack. 
Still you vividly remember how conflicted you did feel in the moment, how for all that it felt good, it also made your stomach turn, for all the hurt he’s caused you yet how deceptively sweet he could be to you. It just gave you a serious case of whiplash. 
But you were so focused on keeping as quiet as possible not even being able to fathom the heap of trouble you would be in should your parents ever find out. You could hardly fathom the agent of your destruction laid within you, but it wasn’t until it was too late did it truly click. 
That devious look he had in his eyes, the one that spoke nothing but trouble. The very same look that seemingly first trapped you all those years ago when you caught it staring at you from across the bookstore. He picked up his rhythm, not allowing for you to fully recover, from the last time, as he pistons into you seeking out release for himself.
You were so dizzy in that moment you didn’t register how he raised his hand onto your night table, before quickly slamming it three times into the wall. 
The very wall you shared with your parents. 
Even in the moment you didn’t fully recognize what he had just done, everything sort of blurring together. Before you can even hope to get your bearings, he’s spinning the both of you around so that you now were on top of him, his fingers digging bruises into your hips, as he thrusts back up into you, no longer trying to feign tenderness, as he seems to rip another climax from you as he lets an unrestrained groan fall from his lips, while your inner walls tighten around him. 
Even in your haze, you realize that this is bad, and you manage to gather yourself enough to slap your hand over his mouth, but that does little to muffle the singer. Especially as it seems as though he's hellbent to be heard. “What did you just do?” you ask unbelieving, frozen in fear even as you hear the muffled shouts of your father through the wall. You feel underneath your palm as his mouth curls into a grin, as he shudders and you feel his hot seed burn you from within. And that’s when you hear the powerful footfalls of your father burst out of his room before he slams open your bedroom door. 
You can only imagine the image you make at that moment, naked sitting astride the nearly fully clothed boy you had sworn up and down for weeks you were done for good with. “What in the hell is going on in here!” your father shouts at the top of his lungs.
Everything after that happens in a blur of your fathers harsh shouts and the sharp sting that comes from your mothers hand across your face as she calls you a whore. By the time it’s all said and done you’re on your knees at the front door begging them to let you back into the house. 
“Take her with you,” your daddy practically spat at him as he tossed you to your knees outside of what was once your home. “I didn’t raise no whores, and you seem to now be in the business a collectin’ them.” 
You can almost hear the sound of a rattlesnake as his arm coils around your shoulder, laying his jacket over your weeping form like a gentleman. “Don’tchu worry baby,” he whispers in your ear. 
He’s almost angelic in his appearance, playing the savior role well, having escaped your home relatively unscathed and in remarkably high-spirits for the situation. But you don’t have much of a choice in the moment, remembering Gina’s words of how easily this family will toss aside wayward women, but it never truly sunk in that you were liable to become one. 
He would tell everybody that your daddy had thrown you out after asserting that you still wanted to be with Him in spite of all of that he’s done, and your folks practically disowned you for it. You let him say what he wants because you don’t see a point in telling the truth and if you’re being honest, part of you wants to believe it. It was a far more romantic story than what had actually happened. 
As you’re coming down from your second and somehow less satisfying orgasm, does the guilt start to creep in. Even after all these years you still yearn for his touch. 
But that is so much easier to admit than the alternative of missing Him.
It eats at you that you still think of Him like this after all that he did to you, and worse still it’s almost like you want him to come back.
Your heart practically leaps out your chest when you hear a soft knock at the door and for one horrifying second you think you’ve somehow summoned him to you. 
“Mama…” you hear a small voice whimper behind the locked door, and you breathe a sigh of relief. “Mama, I threw up.”
You don’t know if it’s a consolidation of three different people telling you the same thing in one day, the culmination of your late night loneliness for the past four or so years, or the noxious fumes of the truly unholy combination of stomach acid, red beans, and Jelly Beans that you had to clean up in your sleep deprived state, but you come to the conclusion that you can no longer do this by yourself. 
Being a mother tended to be enough of a deterrent to most men in the city, which didn’t bother you one bit, but it did make you feel all the worse when you did meet the few who were still willing even after learning about Rosie. 
Sam or Lou may very well have been as nice and understanding as they seemed to be, but because of Him, you now look suspiciously at every man trying to get close. 
Perhaps the women in your life were onto something and it is about time for you to move on with your life. Because if you resolve yourself to being for all intents and purposes a shut-in who never knew another man’s touch other than His, then you ran for nothing. 
So it’s with a semi-defeated sigh that you tell Jenny the next morning to send over Lee’s friend to the shop while you’re working to “see how it goes.” 
You do admittedly put a little more effort into your appearance than you would on an average day and you perk up every time a man who looked close to your age walked in. But if any of them were sent by Jenny they didn’t mention it. 
You only ever had one boyfriend when you were a teen, so it feels more than a bit intimidating to go into this, but you can’t deny yourself a life anymore. 
Afterall if you don’t then you may as well have stayed in Memphis. 
The day goes by and of the few men that do enter the shop, of the few that seem interested in you, none of them knew who Jenny was.  
It’s well past closing and feeling both tired and rejected, however the bane of your existence you call Jenny has yet to return, so you instead just flip the sign without properly locking up and hope they’ll be back soon. This isn’t necessarily unusual but you’re just eager for this day to end and hope that a nice cuddle with your daughter will be enough to lift your spirits. 
But for now there are books that need to be out back.
Soon you finally hear the shop bell ring, but instead of the comforting tiny footsteps or the recognizable clack of Jenny’s heels, you instead hear an unfamiliar pattern of heavy footsteps over the low volume of the radio. You look between the shelves from where you’re stocking books in the back and while you can’t make out specific details you see what is undoubtedly the shape of a man standing at the counter. 
“I’m sorry Sir,” you announce still from behind the shelf. “We’re closed for the evening, but please feel free to return tomorrow.” 
“Oh I ain’t going anywhere sweetheart,” a voice drawls.
A voice you would recognize anywhere.
You think you begin to understand at that moment why some animals will chew off their own arms to escape a trap. After all, what is a limb or two in the face of inevitable doom? And even when they do eventually die, they will at least go with their head held high knowing that they did all that they could, because better dead than captured.
But you stand there frozen, barely capable of breathing at a steady rate. You feel like every drop of blood has been drained from your body. Like someone reached into your lungs and snatched the air right out of them. Like your bones have lost all integrity and you’re only kept standing by the mere fact you don’t want to draw attention to yourself. 
He is here. 
Elvis is here.
Not only that but the footsteps getting louder tell you he is getting closer. 
Fuck.
Your mind is going a million miles an hour to try to get out of this, but all of them fall flat when you remember your daughter is not here and if you were to run that would just leave her in his clutches. So rather than act on any plan, you walk out from behind the bookshelf, because there is no point fighting the inevitable. 
You’re hoping your look isn’t so much deer in the headlights and more awestruck and in disbelief that he found you. Which is true to some extent as you thought you had been so careful all these years, so all you can muster out when you see him for the first time is a pathetic little “h-how?”
Your hackles raise slightly as you see him reach behind him, and to your surprise he pulls out an old battered copy of Nancy Drew. You’re so confused for a second until you recognize it as yours. 
One of the many that Gina would send you periodically when you lived with your parents.
One of the many that had the name of this very store stamped to the inner cover. 
One of the many you took with you when you were kicked out.
One of the many left behind at Graceland. 
Fuck.
You want to kick yourself both for being so careless in your haste to leave, but you have no time for that as he says, “I ain’t as smart as you baby, but I figured out your breadcrumbs eventually.”
He thinks you wanted him to find you. 
Didn’tchu though?
“E-Elvis…” you whisper, the single name somehow feeling wrong as it comes out of your mouth. You’ve avoided even thinking about it all these years, as though if you try hard enough you’ll be able to purge him from your mind and thus from your life. As though simply uttering it will somehow summon him. 
That theory isn’t disproven as he, as usual, wastes no time in getting straight to what he came here for, his long legs carrying himself to you as he moves to engulf you within his arms. You stave off the immediate instinct of putting your hands up and allow this to happen, remembering what used to happen when you would deny him. 
He even goes so far as to spin you around, and you lose your footing and have to rely on him in order to not face plant onto the floor. But this works all the better to create the image of the long-lost lovers joyfully reuniting after so long. 
But as he gazes into your eyes, it isn’t fully complete until he leans down to capture your lips. You would like to say you had to force yourself not to flinch away, but even you would know you’re not that good of a liar.
It’s a kiss for the ages truly, both all-consuming and yet leaving you longing for more. The pitfall of having denied getting close to anyone these past few years now show themselves full-force as you on instinct lean full-force into his touch, and welcome his kiss, even fully knowing how precarious your situation is.  
All these years you never could’ve imagined how much you could miss touch- how much you could miss his touch. The kiss itself isn’t even broken until he roughly moves you against the bookshelf and forces his thigh between yours and your left gasping for air as you feel him for the first time. 
And you can’t help the little whine that leaves your lips before you gather yourself once more to look him in the eyes. 
“Did’ya miss me sweetheart?” he whispers against your lips. 
“I…” you say, tears welling in your eyes. “I’ve thought about you every night.” 
This is not a lie.
His fond expression doesn’t crack an inch as you say that, but before you can sigh an internal breath of relief, you feel a tight grip on your wrist as well as on your jaw.
“Then where’ve you been all these years,” he says, low and dangerous. 
It’s certainly not an unfair question to ask. But you’ve been prepared to answer this question since the moment you stepped foot outside of Graceland for a quick errand.
You don’t know what he knows yet, and that’s terrifying.   
“I…I…” you say in a quiet voice, all your years of preparation failing you when you needed it the most. 
In the back of your mind, though you are loath to admit it, you think you always knew this day was coming, that he would find you, and the only thing you could do was to try to lessen the blowback you would experience. It’s why yours and your daughter’s last name is Love. It’s why you never tried to get involved with another man. It’s why you even made that goddamn deal in the first place. 
“I’m going to disappear,” you say, casually taking a sip of your tea, not truly a fan of the taste, but lately it’s been one of the few things your sensitive stomach could handle. “And you’re gonna help me do that.” You couldn’t just ask anyone for help on this, you were surrounded only by sychophants who would do practically anything for Elvis, so you had to look elsewhere to the person whose only side he was on, was his own. 
“And why would I help you?” The Colonel said, idly stirring his coffee, but obviously trying to mask the spark of interest in his eyes. For as much of a slimeball as he can be, you would be a fool to not acknowledge that he’s a decent enough businessman at the end of the day to recognize  a good deal when he sees one. 
“Because you want me gone as much as I wanna be gone,” you state. He hated that Elvis kept you around, even more so when Elvis made it clear he had no intention of staying a bachelor once he finished service. 
Truly under any other circumstance he would be the last person in this house you would confide in, but though your desires were very different they did often run parallel. Something you realized when he talked Elvis out of eloping right before he got shipped out and into a long engagement. Truly the greatest boon you’ve been given since you’ve gotten here, the lack of recognizability or association with the rockstar will serve your purposes all the better.
“Can’t argue with that logic girl,” he says, taking a bite out of the muffins you had baked this morning as a peace offering to him. “Why do you even need my help?” he questions.
“Because I need someone to make sure that he doesn’t ever find me,” you declare, you had practiced this in your head so many times, too afraid to ever voice it aloud or write it down should any of it get back to him. Even an Ocean away you still feel his breath on the back of your neck, with the only safe place being inside your head. 
You had excused yourself from following him to Germany by feigning sickness with the promise that you would join him as soon as you felt better. Which wasn’t hard to do considering your symptoms before he left, left you practically bedridden.
Ever since you figured out your… condition (it felt too scary to even think in your head, let alone voice out loud), your mind had been running rampant with all of the possibilities of how he would react. None of which you're willing to risk coming to fruition. 
“And if I said No?” he asks, but from the look in his eyes he’s all but ready to pack your bags himself. Part of you feels guilty to leave the boy you once loved with such a man, but you have bigger things to worry about now. 
“You’re absolutely free to say no, Parker,” you assure, but he’s savvy enough to know that’s not the end of it. You don’t know whether it’s you mimicking the late Gladys Presley, or something that comes natural with becoming a mother, however you do know you need to assert yourself now of all times, not just for your sake but your baby’s. “Regardless of your help or not, I’m gonna to leave. Now whether I’m gone for twenty minutes or twenty years, will all depend on you, but know that this will also determine how long you’ll be able to keep your position as Manager.” 
He seems to bristle at your words, “And how do you figure dat Lil’ Miss?” he says with a dangerous look in his eyes as you seem to threaten the only thing he happens to care about. But once you do explain it he looks at you with no small amount of respect in his eyes as he mulls over your plan. “Quite devious,” he comments, literally tipping his hat at you. “I think I’m beginnin’ to get what he sees in you.” 
You're far from proud of your plan, and the slimeball’s admiration of it doesn’t help either, but you know for a fact it will work, and Parker is gonna make damn sure that he doesn’t ever find you. 
You made that plan practically bulletproof, but you never factored into account that you would choke in the moment that it truly matters. “Elvis I…” you trail off, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, clutching your hands on his shirt to keep yourself somewhat steady, trembling from the effort it takes to maintain that makeshift barrier. You’re either about to give the performance of a lifetime or… or…
No 
You can’t think like that otherwise…
This has to work. 
Your brain is going a million miles a minute, trying to remind yourself that you have to make this work if you have any hope of getting out of this without him ever having a chance of finding her.
But in real time you watch as this notion turns to ash in your mouth. 
You feel as your blood freezes in your veins when you hear the door slam open only to be followed by the familiar little dashing footsteps. Your heart drops into your stomach as you hear your daughter stop dead in her tracks and you want to throw up at the thought of him laying eyes on her. This is truly what all your nightmares have been building up to, but even they paled in comparison to the reality of what would actually happen. 
“Danny!!!” she squeals at the top of her lungs, before sprinting right into the arms of the man you were so desperately running from. You’re too shocked to do anything about it at the moment, and only watch in horror as something beyond your worst nightmare plays out before your very eyes. 
Even when your instincts kick in to keep her away from him, he casually moves your hands out of the way as he easily scoops her up and over his head, practically playing keep away as you try to take her back. “Is today the day!?!?” she squeals, wrapping her arms around his neck as best she could, giving him a kiss on the cheek, none the wiser at the danger the two of you were in.
“It sure is baby girl,” he says with a mile wide grin on his face. “Why don’tcha go pack everything you’re gonna need in Neverland?” You don’t miss the way his eyes slide your way, no doubt trying to gauge your reaction. 
She squeals in delight, as she jumps out of his arms and makes her way to the stairs, completely oblivious to your state. 
Everything your daughter ever said about “Danny” suddenly makes a whole lot more sense, and you can’t help but want to kick yourself for not paying attention. You thought she was safe with Jenny, you want to throw up at the thought that you unintentionally sent her into the lion's den without her.
She doesn’t even have the decency to face you in that moment, seeing her right outside the window, in Lee’s arms -or Charlie as you would later learn- pointedly not looking in. 
You don’t have the luxury of being mad as you feel his attention focus back on you in that moment. 
“Now…,” he says as he brings your face closer to his, tenderly grabbing your chin, wiping away a tear. “You wanna try again, sweetheart,” he grins maliciously, knowing you’ll have no choice but to be “honest.” 
And that’s it you have only one card left to play and you pray whatever forces that have written the story of your life will be merciful and let this plan work as you hoped it would all those years ago.
You fall to your knees and begin to sob uncontrollably into your palms. It’s actually easier than you had initially hoped, it in fact takes more effort not to cry when you think about him. It’s a miracle you’ve been able to stay this intelligible up to this point.
“Elvis,” you cry, trying to sound as pathetic and heartbroken as you possibly could. “Elvis I-I-I’m so sorry,” you stutter trying to really sell it. “He-he told me that you kn-knew and you didn’t want me anymore,” you hiccup for good measure. “Ho-how you couldn’t have a baby weighing you down, and that-that if I ever came back, he would make sure I would lose her for good.”
You start to hyperventilate, but it’s far from intentional, as you know your very life is at stake in this moment. If he doesn’t believe you… you can’t think like that. 
You know him well enough to know that he won’t believe your words specifically, but he does believe in the world he’s created in his head. That regardless of what you feel, what you say, or even what you do, you love him and want to be with him- always. It’s just others preventing that from happening. It was the women who tempted him on the road, and then it was your family speaking poison in your ear, and then it was the men he couldn’t trust to not look your way. It was never you personally, regardless of how he would sometimes lash out at you, you wanted to be there because he wanted you to be there. 
In the back of your mind when you had just barely begun to formulate leaving, you knew it would be foolish to believe there wasn’t a chance, no matter how slim, that he would find you. And you knew that it wouldn’t go without punishment should he ever find you should it ever occur. So you had to formulate a plan not just to leave, but how best to set yourself up if he ever returned. 
(There have been some nights that you lay awake believing that you prepared so well not because you were paranoid, but because it was an inevitability.)
You hear his clothes shift as he kneels down before you, and he takes your chin into his hand though much gentler this time. 
“Who’s ‘he’” he demands, voice as cold as a tomb. 
He’s buying it, you think, though you have no time to celebrate. You let out a truly pathetic little blubber through your tears, purposefully unintelligible trying to sell the emotions. 
“Who?” he asks, softer this time around, but no less urgent.
“The co-” you cut yourself off taking a deep steady breath. “The Colonel,” you whisper as though you fear speaking his name aloud will bring him to this very spot.
Parker’s far from innocent but you feel a slight twinge of guilt that his downfall would be for something he didn’t do as opposed to all the things he had done. But you can’t think like that anymore, it was gonna be either him or you. 
Someone would need to suffer because of what you did, and you would be damned before it was you or your daughter. 
And so Parker is now the villain who cruelly kept you and your daughter away from him, and not that you wanted so desperately to get away from him that you practically disappeared off the face of the Earth. But it seems like a fair trade. Parker loses his job, you lose your life. Maybe not in the literal sense, but in all the ways that matter you’ll be gone. 
You don’t relax at all when you feel him gently cup your face in his hands to softly wipe your tears away. You look upon the devastatingly handsome man, as he looks as if he means to take you in his arms to never let you go.“Don’tchu worry baby,” he says, wiping your tears away. “You don’t gotta worry bout that rat bastard no more.” You let out a small cry, hoping it sounds more out of relief than out of devastation to his words. “So now you and Rosie can come home,” he states with a delusional smile on his face. 
Despite the fact that you knew this would realistically end one of two ways, you can’t help but balk at the words. You try your best to smile at his words, but even you realize how hollow that gesture is, in spite of the part you know you’re meant to play in the moment, between the two of you, only one of you is an actor.
He’s having none of it as you feel the previously gentle hand cupping your face wrap around your throat. “Now. You. And. Rosie. Can. Come. Home.” he grits out, his grip around your neck tightening with each word emphasized. 
He knows what your answer is, no doubt he’s just trying to rub salt in the wound knowing that it’s not a choice he’s giving you. This is all the proof you need that he doesn’t fully believe you, but is willing to play along. Leaving may have been forgivable, staying away for so long is another matter entirely. 
He’s just punishing you for not being as enthusiastic as you should be at the prospect of coming “home,” as you should be.
You’re not playing pretend well enough.
“Mama!” Rosie squeals excitedly and when he lets go, you turn to see her making her way back downstairs, her favorite blanket now a makeshift rucksack of what you assume to be all toys dragging behind her. “Mama it worked!” she said, as she ran full tilt toward you, holding something in her palm. “Danny’s gonna take us to Neverland today.”
You see the little porcelain baby from the king cake and you find yourself wishing you were anywhere else. But you know better than to believe in wishes.
“Can we go now?” she says, her little hand grasping one of Elvis’ fingers and shaking furiously. “Now please,” she begs, before he scoops her up into his arms and propping her on his hip. He holds her close and you're forced to face what you have been ignoring all these years. The shape of the nose, the way her lips curl in such a specific way, there is only one place she could have gotten all of that from. It feels like just your luck that your child would be practically a carbon copy of the man you so desperately tried to get away from. Really it was only a matter of time before someone figured it out. 
“Now hold ya’ horses yittle,” chucking her under the chin in a far too familiar manner, as she giggles in his arms. “Yer mama’s gotta get ready herself.”
“I… do…” you say, playing along, trying to keep a cap on your distress for your daughter's sake. “I-I gotta pack a few more things baby,” you say, giving her a kiss on her forehead, hoping she misses the tears in your eyes. “I’ll b-be right back.” you manage to stutter out.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” his voice so saccharine sweet it makes our teeth ache. “We’ll be right here.” 
As you turn around you feel a hard smack on your ass, and you fully stop, burning in humiliation that he would treat you like that, especially in front of your daughter. 
The humiliation only further ramps up as you walk up the stairs, and you can feel the slick already gathering between your thighs. Less out of titillation you believe and more out of a defense mechanism, knowing what will more than likely happen the second he's able to get you alone.
Or is it?
It doesn’t feel real as you step into the upstairs apartment, you see Gina at the stove and Sue filling out a crossword puzzle, her glasses threatening to fall off her nose, none of which suggests they have any idea of what’s going on downstairs. You’re almost angry about that, like it would’ve been easier to walk away from them if they had also been in on it as well. 
“Where’s Rosie so eager to rush off to?” Sue asks idly, not looking up from the paper.
“Oh ummm…” you say, trying to think on your feet for a decent enough lie. “ Sh-she’s going to a sleepover with-with Jenny.” 
You’re usually a better liar than this, but him being so close again has you all out of sorts tonight. Not to mention your mind is running rampant with all the worst case scenarios possible at the moment with the most egregious being that he’s gonna take her and run, forcing you to chase him down the same way he’s undoubtedly done for you these past few years. You’re practically feeling every second tick by, fearing the longer you take the greater the chances will be that they’re both gone. 
Is that how he felt when he was away from you? A small voice in your head asks. It’s an awful roiling feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you couldn’t even begin to imagine how it would feel if the person you loved most wasn’t where you left them. Would he be so cruel to do that to you?
“Did that fella Jenny setchu up with ever show up?” Gina asks, wiping her hands on her apron. 
“Ye-yeah and… and I’m gonna get dinner with him,” you swallow, the lie tasting like bile in your mouth. As you turn to your room, already mentally mapping where the important documents were in your bedroom, preparing to pack a few outfits for Rosie, and whatever other odds and ends you would need. 
Your answer catches Gina off guard, and Sue immediately looks up from the paper sharing a look with your other Aunt. “Ain’t that a little fast, Hon?” 
“Maybe…” you say, hesitating as you try to hold back your tears. 
“Ya don’t gotta go if you ain’t ready for it,” Sue says behind you, putting a hand on your shoulder, that you flinch away from. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong If it’s still a little too early for you.” 
That’s the worst part about it. You know they would fight tooth and nail for both you and Rosie if you just asked. But you know the type of mess Elvis can and will bring into this house should you decide to fight him on this. After all they’ve done for you, keeping them out of the type of spectacle he brings is the least you can do.
“I have to go,” you say sternly. 
One look at your squared back shoulders and your far away look they know there’s no stopping this. You hold back your tears as you accept their hug and accept their well wishes. You say your goodbyes promising to be back soon, unsure if you will ever see them again, and you put on your biggest fakest smile as you let go of them, wanting to at least leave them with one happy memory.
Relief floods your entire being seeing her at the bottom of the steps, only for the dread to return seeing him there with her. Especially when you hear the story he’s telling her. You don’t miss the glance he steals your way before focusing on your daughter once again. “I thought to myself, ‘thas the girl whose gonna be mine.’”
“Like-like love at first sight,” Rosie asks, and you can practically hear the stars in her eyes.
“Exactly yittle,” he drawls out. “Took her awhile to figure it out though but she learned eventually. Now we’re all gonna go home.” His eyes slide right off her and cut directly to you. Her eyes follow him and she quickly scurries off of him to reach you. 
“You ready Mama?” she asks you as she takes you by the hand leading you to the door where you see a car parked right out front.  It may as well have been a hearse in your mind. 
You pick her up and you look down the darkened streets and you briefly flirt with the idea of just sprinting and never looking back. But the hand on your elbow guiding you to the car puts a halt to those thoughts. 
You still don’t know how much of your story he does actually believe, so you sit yourself down in the car without so much as a fuss and resolve yourself to your fate. Though that doesn’t stop you from seating yourself in the middle and placing Rosie by the window, as you still aren’t totally out of the mindset of keeping her as far away from him as possible. Neither of them seem to mind as she eagerly presses tiny hands up to the glass in awe of the nightlife of New Orleans, while he slithers an arm over your shoulder bringing you closer to him. 
As you contemplate what your life will look like from now on, you pass by so many places you’ve become familiar with these last four years, but what nearly breaks you are the unfamiliar places. Record stores, movie theaters, restaurants, and so many other places you avoided all due to an irrational belief that he would somehow be there. You did your best to limit your time in the outside world to only when you absolutely had to be out. 
Maybe that’s why you were so willing to trust Jenny and her altruistic generosity to watch over your daughter and take her places you were too anxious to venture to. 
You caged yourself into your new seemingly better life, but you didn't live at all. You were hiding. Always so afraid that he would somehow find you, you neglected to live. You put yourself in a different cage and convinced yourself you were free. 
“Mama? Mama, why are you crying?” your sweet little girl asks. 
But you’re gonna do what you’ve always done for your daughter. What you’ve always done when it comes to Elvis. You’re going to play pretend. 
“Mama’s just so happy we’re going baby,” you say with a solemn kiss to her forehead as his grip further tightens on your shoulder. 
“I know what’ll cheer you up!” she declares and completely unaware of the salt she’s about to pour on your wounds, she pulls something out of her little rucksack. “Danny, do you know the story of ‘Punzel?”
“Can’t say that I do darlin’” he says, eyeing you over her head. She sets the Grimm fairy tale book down on her lap and opens it to the worn pages she’s seemed to memorize by heart. She proceeds to read to the both of you, in the sense that she recites the story she’s heard maybe half-a-million times before word-for-word, going off pictures more than the actual words on the page to know where she’s at in the story. You try your best to focus on the book for your daughter's sake, but it’s nearly impossible to do when you feel Elvis' familiar bruising grip on your inner thigh. 
You shoot him a look and grab a hold of his wandering hand, trying to signal for him to stop and pay attention to Rosie. He gives a mirthful smile to you as he feels the slick there and seemingly tightens his grip in retribution, as though he wants to get a head start on re-establishing his claim over you. You in response bite your cheek and bear it, until at one point it nearly becomes too much and one lone tear rolls down your cheek and onto the page of the prince wandering blindly through the forest.  
Your daughter is far too sweet for her own good, as she notices this and gives you a gentle pat on your cheek, trying to comfort you the same you’ve done for her before. 
“Don’t worry Mama,” she reassures you, mirroring what you’ve done for her when a story gets her a little too worked up. “They always live happy ever after.”
You give a shuddering sigh as Elvis finally let’s go of your thigh. You clutch onto that little porcelain figure in your pocket and hope she’s right.
You make it to Memphis in record time, Rosie having long since tired herself out, is wrapped securely in your arms, but you’ll find no suh peace with his arm coiled around your shoulder as he sadistically whispers how Rosie’ll have a blast meeting the rest of his family while the two of you get “reacquainted,” of course he used more colorful language but you don’t want to have to think about that for right now. 
When the familiar gates come into view 
“Ahh, my baby missed home that bad,” he whispers, giving a deceptively sweet kiss to your tear-stricken cheek. “Why don’tcha hand the ‘lil one over to me and you just head up to bed and get ready for me?”
Despite the questioning lilt in his tone you know for a fact he’s not asking. And so going against all of your instincts screaming in your head, you let go of your daughter and watch as he takes a hold of her. To your relief she’s at the very least on the same floor as you, but you can only hope that she, at the very least, will sleep through the rest of the night, because you doubt he’ll let you out even a minute sooner than he has to. 
The bedroom has changed in many ways since you’ve been gone, though the most striking thing  was how your side of the bed looks as though it were converted into a little shrine for you. Small baubles and trinkets you left behind on the stand, you even find an old nightgown of yours on your side of the bed, the last thing he ever saw you in. It doesn’t fit you like it used to, having and breastfeeding a baby will do that to you, but you put it on all the same knowing he will want to see you in it. 
Looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing your breasts straining against the silk material and the bruises peeking out beneath the scandalously short hemline, it really does settle in that this was all inevitable. This is the very same image you saw the night before he left for Germany.
The same image that confirmed your decision to leave in the first place. 
This moment, feels like the dread you always felt when getting to the last few pages of a book. As things were wrapping up and you would have to face the harsh reality of your situation...
You’re back in the fucking hotel room.
You won’t even have the luxury of daydreaming of your escape, because there is no world where you leave without Rosie, and he knows that. He knows she’s the reason you ran, and knows that without her you’re never gonna run again. That’s why he went to the lengths he did to endear himself to her first before you ever had an inkling as to what was going on. 
Your thoughts turn to Jenny, and how you entrusted what you loved the most to her, only to have her spit in your face by turning around practically handing her over to him on a platter. Either she knew that he was her father and didn’t bother to question why you were so desperate to get away that you faked a whole other life, or she didn’t and handed over your daughter to a stranger. You don’t know which is worse. 
You also can’t forget how she was perhaps the most vehement about you dating again, which you can’t even begin to understand if she was working for him the whole time. But you can’t put it above him that he wouldn’t have Jenny push the issue if only to further twist the knife if you ever did take up her offer. As though to remind you that you never had a chance of moving on. 
Because it always goes back to him.
You want to hide from it all and you give into the urge, and crawl under the silky sheets of the bed, for all the good it will do to protect you. 
Monsters don’t hide under your bed. They crawl into it. Those are your last conscious thoughts as you feel the bed shift 
“Welcome home Satnin,” he whispers before you feel the sheets being ripped away from you.
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gojos-fr-bae · 5 days
Text
Daddy's Day
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Pairing: Gojo x fem!eader
Warnings: Heavy Heavy angst, cussing, dyuszcbjsuifk
Word Count: 884
A/N: Heyy, so I've been experiencing writer's block recently with Liar pt.7 so I decided to take a break & write this. Loving the Gojo family au. Also, this was ipired by something written by @zuffer-weird-girl (I love her writing so much, omd)
Hope you enjoy <3
(Requests open)
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Satoru had been away for the past week on a mission that had been meant to last two days.
He stepped into the house, expecting to be welcomed by you and your son Kaito at the door, but he was met by complete silence.
All the lights in the house were off except for the one in the living room and the kitchen. He walked into the living room and saw his son Kaito seated on the couch facing the tv which was playing whatever cartoon it was that he was obsessed with recently. He was in his dinosaur onesie and was hugging his monkey plushie tightly against his chest.
“Hey buddy!” Satoru said, walking to Kaito with his arms open,ready to give him a hug, but the seven-year-old looked up at his father with sadness coating his features before he got up and ran to his room, slamming the door behind himself.
To say Satoru was confused would be an understatement.
He slowly walked into the kitchen and saw you seated at the counter drinking whiskey…WHISKEY.
You only even drank whiskey when shit was getting deep, so now he knew for sure that something was wrong.
“Hey wifey, " he said in a soft voice, walking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, placing a kiss against your cheek.
“Mmm”is all you could respond to him, you didn’t even have the energy to respond to it.
“What’s up, and why is Kaito so upset?” he inquired, taking a seat next to you. You stared down at your drink ,swirling it slowly in your glass.
“Satoru, where have you been? Your mission was only meant to last two days.”
“Yeah, I know, but the mission ran a bit later and I also chose to stay back an extra two days after we finished just to make sure that there were no more curses left in the area.” he responded nervously, not sure where you were going with this. 
“So, yesterday, and today, you were away…by choice?” you questioned in disbelief.
“Y-yeah, um…why?” 
“Satoru, what promise did you make to your son? What day was it yesterday?”
He was so lost, he was trying to wrack his brain and remember wha- oh. Oh Fuck.
Oh no. No No NO NO NO NO NO!
How could he forget? How the fuck could he forget?! 
Yesterday, all the kids in Kaito’s class were meant to come to class with their dads, and Kaito asked Gojo if he would be able to make it, and he promised he would.
“Satoru, Kaito waited, and waited, and waited, and you didn’t show up. All the kids in his class started making fun of him, telling him that you didn’t even love him enough to show up. Satoru, he was crying for HOURS! And he hasn’t spoken to me, or anyone else the whole day. And you didn’t show up BECAUSE YOU FELT THAT DOING A JOB YOU WEREN'T EVEN ASKED TO DO! WHAT THE FUCK GOJO!?” You screamed, eyes tearing up as you lost your patience with your husband.
Shit. Words couldn’t even begin to cover how much Satoru HATED himself right now. He was actually an awful father. He was speechless. He couldn’t even move, and his breath was stuck in his throat.
“Please, go talk to  him, he needs it.” you said softly, patting his back softly, before making your way to bed.
Satoru could feel his eyes begin to sting as he was beating himself up. He could only imagine how Kaito must have felt. He had to go through all of that because of his stupid decision. 
He slowly made his way to his son’s room before knocking on the door gently.
“Kai, it’s daddy, please I come in.” he said softly.
No answer.
He opened the door and saw a sight that absolutely broke his heart. Kaito was sitting on his bead, with his back against the wall, facing the door. He had brought his knees up  to his chest and he was clutching his monkey plush as hard as his tiny fingers could. But his eyes were bloodshot and he had tears steadily flowing down his face as he sobbed softly.
“Buddy,” Satoru’s voice broke as the buy completely broke down and started wailing uncontrollably. 
Satoru ran to him and pulled him into his chest, hugging him tight, as he felt his own stray tears flow down his cheeks.
“I love you so much, buddy, and I’m so so so sorry.” He kept on apologizing over and over again, until Kaito had cried himself to sleep. He  slowly tucked Kaito into bed, before kissing his forehead and leaving the room.
He slowly dragged himself to your room, closed the door behind him before sliding down with his back against it. You looked at him and made your way to him as he broke down. He clutched you with his all as painful sobs racked his body.
He was beating himself up for being a horrible father and you tried to console him but nothing seemed to be working. He wanted to be a good father, and a good husband but he couldn’t even seem to do that. 
How was he meant to be the strongest when he felt so weak?
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Hope you enjoyed!
@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller , @havens-not-here
© gojos-fr-bae
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ilyluffy · 10 months
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𝒲𝐻𝐸𝑅𝐸 ~ 𝒟𝒪 ~ 𝒴𝒪𝒰 ~ 𝒲𝒜𝒩𝒯 ~ 𝐼𝒯?
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𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐮𝐦
𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬: eren jaeger + armin arlert + jean kirstein + levi ackerman
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut {minors + ageless blogs dni!! you’ll be blocked}
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: gn! & afab!reader, sub!reader, lots of cum, cumplay, penetrative sex, blowjobs, backshots, facial, creampies, petnames {more warnings under the cut}
{tokyo revengers edition} — {one piece edition}
{hunter x hunter edition}
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𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐑
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dom!eren, afab!reader, vaginal sex, groping, slight praise
eren can’t say for sure what came over him the first time he did this to you. maybe it was the way your boobs jiggled with every thrust he made. whatever it was, eren’s eyes were completely transfixed on your tits. the closer he got to his orgasm the more his mind wondered how your chest would look covered in his seed. the idea became too tempting for eren to ignore. so, after you cream around him, eren suddenly pulls out his cock. you’re surprised for a second as you watch him frantically jerk himself off. next thing you know your chest feels warm as eren spurts ropes of his cum over your plush mounds. “i knew it” he pants, pushing some of his sweaty brown locks out of his face. you gasp as eren reaches down to spread the mess over your tits. “you look so pretty like this. let’s do it again”.
𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: switchy!armin, gn!reader, blowjobs, facial
armin discovered this about himself completely by accident. it started off with you sucking him off. when he started to get close he panicked about making you swallow his load. so just when he reached his peak, armin suddenly took his cock out of your mouth. of course this only resulted in a bigger disaster because all of a sudden he was making a mess all over your face. at the time armin apologized profusely for the mistake but after the event took place, he couldn’t get that image of you out of his mind. just thinking about his cum all over your nose, cheeks, chin, and even your eyelids made armin hard. he wanted to see again. so, no matter how embarrassing it was, armin requested to try it again. naturally you oblige and allowed him to paint your face white. without realizing it, you awoke something in armin that he’d never get tired of.
𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dom!jean, gn!reader, penetrative sex, backshots, petnames “baby”
at first, jean convinced himself that the reason he came on your ass so much was because it was convenient. his preferred position was doggy so it was easy for him to pull out when he was getting close to paint your ass with his cum. but as time went on and you two tried different things, jean realized that he had an obsession with making a mess on that particular spot. even when jean had you on your back in missionary he’d roll you over just in time for him to blow his load on your round cheeks. sometimes you’ll whine about the mess or complain about how you wanted him to finish inside this time. jean’s response is always the same. “sorry, baby. i just love your ass. love it even more when it’s covered in my cum”.
𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dom!levi, afab!reader, vaginal sex. creampies
as everyone knows, levi isn’t a fan of mess. he doesn’t mind having multiple rounds of sweaty sex with you, not at all. however, spilling cum all over the sheets he just cleaned is an absolute no, no. it’s honestly just cleaner if he finishes inside of you. it has nothing to do with breeding you, or at least that’s what levi tells himself. however you see right through the facade when levi pulls out to admire his handy work after filling you to the brim. his dark eyes are transfixed on your pretty pussy as a little bit of his cum leaks out of your tiny hole. well that won’t do. levi has to catch his seed with his fingers and shove it back inside of you. “the only place i’ll tolerate mess is inside of your cunt, hear me?” levi tells you firmly. not that he has to. you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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2022–2023 © ilyluffy — do not repost or translate my work. likes, reblogs, and comments are welcome
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captainfern · 6 months
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Yo im like obsessed w everything you write like no joke.
Anywaysss, i wanted to ask if you could do a price fic where he just loves watching the reader get ready, like doing makeup, picking out a dress?
It could end with them being late to wherever they were going, if you know what i mean 😉 no worries if not obvs!! Just thought I’d ask seeing as though you write so beautifully xx
still struggling with writers block and uni stuff fml but here’s a little drabble i managed to churn out
18+, gn!reader (no gendered pronouns but reader wears makeup and a dress x)
god he is absolutely obsessed with watching you get ready to go out somewhere
loves watching you apply your makeup. you look so cute focusing in the mirror, humming to your music. he especially loves when you put lipstick/gloss etc on your lips — def his favourite part !!
omg and when you’re trying on dresses in the full-length mirror, admiring the way it sits on your beautiful body, how it complements your skin tone and eyes — he is melting
he enjoys sitting on the edge of your shared bed as you twist and turn. he’ll probably get hard if the dress is just that tiny bit tighter around your thighs and arse
you ask him for his opinion and he snaps out of a whipped stupor. “sorry, what was that sweetheart?”
when you finally choose a dress, he’s running his hands down your body, feeling the material, feeling your warmth beneath the material. he gropes your arse and makes you laugh
smells your perfume — like he just buries his face in your neck and hugs you to him. he loves you so much
and if you let him, he’d hike up that pretty dress and pull your underwear to the side, fucking into your tight hole as he bends you over the side of the bed, making you watch in that full-length mirror across the room as he ruts into you
you just looked so beautiful he couldn’t resist !! and hey you weren’t complaining !!
PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE !!! that man is letting you know how fucking stunning you look
“so fucking pretty, baby”, “god, just look at you”, “such a pretty little thing, aren’t you, sweetheart?”, “so good for me, darling, you’re doing so well, letting me fuck this tight hole and ruin that pretty makeup”
makes you come at least twice while on his cock before he comes deep inside you
leaves it inside you and moves your underwear back in place. you squirm a bit but he loves it !! he’s turned the fuck on knowing your stuffed, dripping with his cum while you go out to eat
will eat it out of you and then fuck you to sleep when you get home late that night <3
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riacte · 2 years
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Okay I just love it when the hermits get together and goof off because it produces the funniest shit. Joe with the invisible pot and everybody giggling like children and they’re all playing hide and seek with Ren. Ren trying and failing to establish dominance. Ren complaining about the magenta blocks before being reminded it was him who did that. The way his rentheking entrance FAILED dramatically and everybody was just giggling awkwardly (Grian: well I guess he didn’t log in on the throne). The way it’s just a cloak and you can LITERALLY see Ren’s sneakers peeking out. “I spent actual money for this”. AND BDUBS JUST NODDING ALONG with his wide eyes and moss skin. “I shall serve you with every inch of my body” and the crowd was like uh okay 😒😳. Ren trying to bow his head for the crowning ceremony but he just looks realllly sad and pathetic because the Rendog body language says that whenever he looks down, he’s sad. THE WAY EVERYONE LAUGHED AT THE TINY CROWN HELP. The absolute lack of respect. THE BOOTLEG DOGWARTS WITHOUT THE GLORY AND CONFIDENCE. The way everyone was like “I’m confused but Ren looks like a soggy piece of cardboard playing pretend so whatever”. Then Joe jumping down and consuming a totem instead of flying?? Whatever Scar did in [ominous Ren voice] the Pit? Cub just casually flexing his diamonds?? Rendog inventing communism on Hermitcraft??????? Huh?????
I’m so obsessed with this episode. I really hope they make something fun and new out of this. It gets ten times funnier when you remember Dogwarts and RK. I haven’t laughed so much at a HC ep in a good while <3
(And oh of course Ren has mic problems.)
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wyniepooh · 9 months
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Warmth
With aaron, you find warmth in even the coldest moments.
Pure fluff. Established relationship, FORBIDDEN love with bau!reader. Team is investigating a case in 🇨🇦 OH CANADA 🇨🇦 where it’s freezing, just reader and aaron sneaking around and being cute ugh so gross.
You were going to cross Canada off your travel list the minute you got home.
The crime scene was located at the base of one of the most popular mountains in the country. A total tourist nightmare located in a rather small town. Luckily for the team, the heavy snow plaguing the week prevented too many people from visiting the attraction. Unluckily for you guys, the thick snow also meant that no vehicles were able to travel on the small road, all due to the risk of getting stuck or breaking down and blocking the already complex road.
The team, along with a couple local police officers, had been walking for no more than ten minutes. But your lack of winter boots mixed with the harsh wind threatening to blow off your ears made it seem like you had been walking for hours.
That, and combined with your slightly weak stamina, left you trailing behind the rest of the team.
Having to lift your heavy legs with more strength than you currently possessed and having to fight against a million tiny snowflakes, you were beginning to sway and stumble. You brought your hands up to your mouth, huffing a long breath of warm air onto your frozen fingers.
“Cold?”
You perked up at the voice, rolling your eyes at aaron’s teasing expression.
“Absolutely freezing,” you answered. He looked down at his feet and chuckled at your response, but his smile slowly began to fade at the sight of your chattering teeth and shaking arms.
You silently cursed at having only brought your thin, pocketless jacket, as your only option to being somewhat warm was to pull the sleeves down as far as it could go to cover your hands.
So concentrated with your doomed task, you failed to noticed that aaron, who had been in front of the group at the beginning of the hike, had slowed down and was now in the back of the pack, with you.
“Here.”
You didn’t have time to register his words. Or rather, the cold had an effect on your reaction time. But it didn’t matter— all that mattered, and all that you felt, was his warm hand reaching down to grab yours, promptly stuffing your interwined hands into his coat’s pocket. You gasped lightly, both at the sudden action and at the immediate relief you felt in your half-frozen hand.
“aaron…” you whispered. You pointed your chin at the rest of the team walking in front, giving him a look of wariness as you tried to pull your hand back. In response, aaron simply pulled your entire body closer by tugging on your captured arm, his large palm further encapsulating your hand as he rubbed gentle circles with his thumb.
“It’s alright,” he hushed.
You huffed, “They’re going to see-“
“It’s alright.”
He looked down at you with raised brows, eyes soft and smile wide. You sighed as you shook your head, happily accepting your fate. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his red nose and ears, and at the absurdity of this whole situation.
For a brief moment, you and aaron weren’t walking towards a gruesome crime scene. You weren’t coworkers with a strict fraternization policy, and you weren’t secretly holding hands to avoid unwanted scrutiny. You two weren’t anything important, anything or anyone important at all.
You were just two people taking a scroll, hearts filled, hands warm, and cloudy breaths mingling together under the falling snow.
-
A/n: I mainly wanted to write this bc:
#1 I am obsessed with the idea of bau!reader secretly dating hotch and having to subtly show their affection
#2 bc I could not be more excited for winter and the holidays, and last but not least
#3 #canadianpridebaby
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muffinsin · 1 month
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How would the Demi sisters react to their s/o making them something special for them. Like for Cassandra a knife made out of bone from one of her favorite kills or something. I just thinks I would love to see their reaction. And would they reciprocate weather it’s sexually or making their s/o something?
Also can I be fluff anon. I know I might not always ask for fluff but I do like mostly fluffy stuff with a bit of smut too.
This is adorable! Hoping this will get me outta my tiny writer’s block🙇‍♀️ And absolutely! Fluff anon works well :)
Let’s get into it! :)
Masterlists
Bela
For as long as you’ve known Bela, she’s been a workaholic
And not just this- but downright obsessed with her work
Everything must go right, all must be perfect
Often, it pains you to see her in such a state of constant stress and fear of failure
You know, she constantly wants to prove herself by working harder and harder than ever
And you know, she never once complains about the work that keeps piling and piling on her desk
Bela’s work is incredibly important to her, this much is clear from the start
However, it’s gotten a lot worse lately, with files piling on her desk and meetings overlapping and rescheduling
She’s busy each day, and you can tell your girlfriend is drowning in all of it
She’s losing track of it all, and in her desperate attempt to keep it all together, she not only neglects you, but herself too
It is on one of these days that you find her, passed out on a few sheets of paperwork
Even in her sleep, she frowns and whines quietly and distressed
You decide to help her out, with actions as well as a gift just for her
Bela is too tired to object when you guide her to her bed that day. With her body weak and light from neglecting her normal consumption of blood to stay healthy, it’s painfully easy for you to manoeuvre her to the bed and push her inside
She sleeps, tight, and fast, her heavy eyes closing
You don’t even know when the last time was that she’s slept, now that you think of it
Has it been hours? Days? More, even?
However, you don’t allow yourself to linger and watch your girlfriend for too long; you want to get to work immediately
As such you begin with easy tasks
You pull off her heels and set them on the floor next to the bed, then undo her corset carefully
A smile spreads on your lips when she sighs contentedly
You decide to leave her in her dress for now, instead only pull the heavy covers up and press a kiss to her forehead
A silent promise that you will make it all better again
You arrange a silver tray with a glass of blood-wine and a full bottle of it next to it
In the middle of the tray is a bowl of her favourite of snacks and slices of warm, fresh bread. You cover it up to ensure it stays warm until your lover awakens
When you set down the tray on her nightstand, your eyes linger on her form for a moment longer
Her chest rises and falls slowly, her breathing even. She looks beautiful, the sunlight hitting locks of her golden hair and pale face
She doesn’t seem to mind
Next, you move over to her desk
You take in the no longer organised mess. Papers lay about everywhere, some scribbled on. Even her handwriting is less tidy, as though her eyes shut a few times while she tried to form a sentence
You organise it all neatly:
One pile for finished work. A-Z, with notes sticking out to mark the months the paper was created in, just the way she likes it
A second pile for works in progress. Again, A-Z, with the same notes sticking out again
And lastly, a pile of unedited papers. A-Z, with the same notes, and only some bearing notes with an exclamation mark on it. Those you know she will need to prioritise based on what she’s told you occasionally
You put her pencils back in the case, and clean up the smudge of lipstick left on one of her notepads from when she must’ve smeared her mouth as she rested her head on her desk
Next, you take a seat at her desk and look through her notebook
You know, she’s very well organised. Normally, that is
For now all seems a mess
Dates and meetings are scribbled all over, some scratched out and rewritten or corrected multiple times
You stretch out your arms, then grab a fresh sheet of paper and get to work
It takes you a couple of drafts, but eventually you get it right:
A Calendar for her
Written neatly and organised, you list all dates of meetings she must attend, important events and reminders all on one page
Starting with the date and time , then the title, a small description given one is needed, then a small box for her to tick off once something is done with
You smile at your work
Even have you managed to sneak in a few reminders for her to eat, and scheduled in breaks for her
You’re truly rather surprised when you eye the clock and notice multiple hours have passed
Perhaps this is why your girlfriend always manages to lose herself in her work? You hum, thinking
With a grin, you jump up and pull the curtains aside
With light in the room now, she is bound to notice the time
You hum, satisfied with your work, and tiredly retreat to your shared room
Unsurprisingly, Bela is still fast asleep on the bed. You wouldn’t expect anything else after she’s passed out from exhaustion, either
She only makes a small noise at the back of her throat when you join her in bed, then sighs contentedly as you pull her back against your front
With the lovely scent of her hair surrounding you, you’re able to slip your eyes close at last
In the morning, Bela is flabbergasted
She must blink a couple of times to even attempt to understand what is going on
She doesn’t remember getting into bed, and only smiles softly when her eyes finally set on your sleeping form
Her corset is on the top of her drawer, and she spots her shoes set at the foot of the bed
The scent of blood tickles her nose, and she licks her lips upon seeing the cup on the nightstand
She hasn’t even realised how deprived she is of it, so that when you wake up to her practically swallowing all contents of the bottle in only a few gulps, she can only blush in embarrassment
Your gentle smile reassures you, yet her blush persists as you pull the bowl into your lap and raise some of the snacks to her lips
After breakfast, she sadly insists she must continue working
The mere thought of the mess awaiting her leaves her dizzy
She wants nothing but for the stress to pass. Of course, Bela would never admit this
You follow her into her office, and grin when she gasps upon finding her tidy workspace
She checks the piles of papers quietly, and lifts the calendar wordlessly
Bela isn’t sure what to say. Never has she felt this way
Never has anybody done such a thing for her
Chocolate, flowers, presents, yes. But they never quite meant something. Not like this
Tears form at her bright golden eyes at the realisation of what you’ve done for her
Before you can ask whether she is alright, though, she pulls you to her chest and hugs you tightly. She hopes, begs the gods, that this hug can convey her thankfulness
“Thank you, little one”
Cassandra
You can’t help but giggle at Cassandra’s loud groan
She’s laid on top of her bed, with her arm outstretched and on your lap and her head hanging from the edge of the mattress
You know, the poor thing is bored to bits
With the temperature low, so many restrictions are now in place
For one, she can no longer hunt until it warms up, and you can tell it’s driving her restless
She’s groaning again when you only trace her skin carefully. She’s getting impatient
Upon feeling you squeeze her lower arm roughly and massaging her cool skin, she quietens down again and keeps purring contentedly
Another major restriction is the inability for her to see her merchant
Yes, of course the duke is still available, but Cassandra hardly cares about him
No, you know she’s not interested in that one. You know another catches her eye
The strange fellow with the large backpack and rag-covered face
The weapon trader
And while she sometimes sends you out to see what new weapons he has in stock, you know Cassandra yearns to see her for herself
And you know, especially now she wants to make trade with him, now that the number of staff members is low
That part is not a surprise, really
In winter, the number of employees drops massively due to the boredom of the sisters
In turn, however, it means there are less staff members to torment, and less people to attend to the usual tasks
Some tasks are simply no longer supported, such as keeping Cassandra’s weapons sharp
And while she enjoys sharpening them herself, you know they are too many for her
You know your girlfriend, and know she only gets impatient when hours pass and she hasn’t even cleaned half of them- let alone sharpened!
You decide to help her out
For two weeks already have you been planning and crafting in secret, all to see a smile on her face
Because truly? A smile on Cassandra’s face is often a rare sight in winter
She sits up abruptly, her teeth grit angrily, yet you don’t flinch
Her anger isn’t directed at you, and you know it. It’s merely her frustrations let out
Cassandra only calms down a little when you cup her cheeks and press a kiss to her lips, warped in a scowl
Eventually, her facial features relax again and she whines quietly. Annoyed. Bored. Utterly frustrated she can’t go out and have fun, or even taunt maidens, and worst of all- not even practice using her weapons because none are as sharp and shiny as they should be
You tangle your fingers in beautiful, auburn hair
“Why don’t you take a trip to the basement, Cass?”, you propose, and with a small smile, hand over the dagger you keep on your person
Her eyes practically glisten at the sight
It’s one of the few weapons within her reach left sharp and clean
Her hand almost trembles with excitement as she grabs it from you, and you can’t help but smile at the sadistic grin on her lips
A kiss is pressed to you before she eagerly swarms off, and you ensure you waste no time
You rush into your workshop, and after making sure your girlfriend is nowhere in sight, pull out the small, unassuming box from beneath your desk
Inside lays a bone, shaped into a knife. A bone from the varcolac she had slain during your first hunt together
While it still looks rather unassuming, you’re making progress
A blade and handle can be recognised, and while it is by far not sharp yet, you’re getting it there
Without any ado, you keep working
Your first objective is the handle. While it looks boring so far, you plan on changing this
You craft and shape it until it is bent rather than straight, and using a pair of gloves snatched from her room, you make slight dents to allow for a better grip
It’s a tedious process, but turns out just as you want it to
The bone is smooth, but hard
You grip the handle tightly and smile. Yes, it will do nicely. It still needs refinement, but that is for much later
You notice, nearly two hours have passed already from merely this
Next is the blade itself
While right in shape already, it must be sharpened. You want it sharp enough to draw blood from the smallest of contacts
A blade sharp enough to do her right. An edge lethal enough to do her justice
You give the blade a slight tilt too, and smile when the blade begins to cut into one of your gloves soon enough
When the tip too is sharp and the blade nearly shines as you turn it, you smile satisfied
Almost done, after weeks of work
You wrap brown leather around a part of the handle for a tighter and more sure grip
Next, you make small carvings into the backside of the blade
A small, neatly carved C. You know it will forever shine against the light colour of the bone once blood fills it
When satisfied, you smile in triumph
You rest the bone dagger back in the box, careful not to cut yourself, and proceed back to her room
As expected, she is still occupied in the basement. You know, she will likely not return until your blade is coated in blood, she has grown satisfied with hearing her prey scream, and the blade of her dagger is dull
You put the box containing your gift on her desk, knowing she will seek you out before she even notices the box
Instead, you move to her personal armoury
Weapons of all kinds decorate the walls and shelves, barrels and tables. Swords, sickles, rapiers, shields, bows, daggers, machetes and hatchets, even a warhammer she likes to look at from time to time
You start easy, with the daggers. Sharpening them goes quick, and cleaning them even faster. She has even started on some already
One, two, three, the fourth one is sharpened and polished in little time
Then the swords. One, two, three, four, five, six are now sharp and shiny again. The muscles in your arm ache a little bit
You tend to the two shields of the room. Metallic, and bearing the Dimitrescu symbol at the front
Cleaning them is an easy task that takes you only half an hour once you work them off and back on the wall
The rapier is sharp, so that you almost cut yourself already. You merely clean it and curse when it splits your rag in half
Then the hatchets and machetes. You clean them eagerly, even if it takes a while
Putting the bow back in its proper place is a task that only takes a few minutes. Gathering all the arrows and putting them back in her quiver comes next
And lastly- her sickle. You retreat back into her room to find it discarded at her desk, useless to her with its half-sharpened blade
It seems, though, after half an hour of sharpening and scrubbing, your lover has grown tired of being apart from you
You gasp in surprise when you find swarms of flies around you, until you feel the familiar weight of her on your lap
She hums, her eyes wide and excited as she sees what you’re doing
Her dark, golden eyes are glued to her sickle, made sharp again under your fingers
She reaches out to swipe her index finger along the edge, then moans and crackles in delight when a cut is quickly made and dark blood runs from her fingertip
Cassandra feels lightheaded when you grab her wrist and bring her hand to your mouth, your warm tongue dragging up her finger and to her cut
You see her glistening eyes and spot the excitement and love in them
You get her. And she gets you
“You sharpened it”, she remarks breathlessly
She tugs the weapon from you, grinning happily
You nod. Yes, you did
Cassandra giggles in delight as she catches her own reflection in the sharp blade and feels your arm wrap around her hip
“Not only that”, you whisper, your breath tickling her ear and your lips teasing her skin. She’s shivering beautifully for you
“Your armoury is back in order too, my love”
The words make her feel lightheaded again. You- what?
She resists the urge to swarm off to see right away. She trusts your words
“Aren’t you a good little servant?”, she teases, a small smirk on her lips. Still, by the look in her eyes and her fingers gripping the sickle tighter, you can sense her gratitude
You get her. There is no need for the proper words. You know her love and gratitude
But, you have one more surprise up your sleeve
When you push the box to her, she all but rips the top off excitedly
Her eyes shine a brighter colour for a moment as she spots the dagger
She lifts it, and brings it to her face. Inhaling sharply, she moans
You know you must not explain what it is made of. She recognizes it immediately, the scent of the animal still lingering on the bone. The scent of her triumph
She moans in delight, and as she drags her tongue against the blade, gasps all too happily when she finds herself cut again
A sharp edge of her blade. Lethal when swung right. Harmful in every way
It makes her skin tingle
You only smile knowingly when she grins at you, blood coating her lips and the edge of the blade
You gasp in surprise when the blade is brought to your neck, hovering just before your skin. Untouching. Merely an unnerving presence
“The things you do to me…”, she groans
Her light smirk and the excited shimmer to her eyes tell you- the two of you will spend the remaining day and night testing out just how sharp her new dagger is ;)
Daniela
You know many things of Daniela, and learn more as time goes on
You know she loves romance and music, dancing and singing, fantasy and books. Princesses and thoughts of faraway lands, flowers, the sky, and her family of course
When you find out when her birthday is, at last, after years of being together, you know it must be special
She reassures you- after so many centuries, her birthday is simply another day
She didn't even remember it until you found out when it was and reminded her
The realisation shocked you
You would think out of all people Daniela would treasure her birthday the most
Still, she barely talks of it even after you remind her. She insists- it’s nothing special, and you know, someone must have given her such a feeling and thought
You intend to fix such a foul mindset
You know, she secretly aches for a special day just for her
A birthday again, no matter how old she is and grows to be in her immortal life. You want to celebrate each birthday with her, and you want each to be perfect for her
Daniela is your everything, and deserves only the best
And you want to give her just that
Knowing her special day is not for another few months has given you time to prepare accordingly
You begin planning early on into the year, so that it’s all perfect in September
You include Bela in your planning, eager to have someone with true authority at the castle on your side
Like this, you can work at night without having to justify each action multiple times
Like this, you can do more or less as you please as you work
Your preparations in late summer include most of the planting of seeds in the castle’s garden
With Bela’s help, you manage to lay out the shape perfectly. It has to be perfect
You work throughout the day while Daniela is out hunting, uncaring of the sweat that plagues you as you work in the sun
Upon returning, your girlfriend never suspects a thing, even when she finds you working and planting things in the garden
Too excited to keep from rambling on, you always know a break from work is due when Daniela returns
As such, summers are spent preparing your surprise and leading your beautiful girlfriend through the gardens as she talks of her hunt
Months pass, and the temperature drops a little bit
You’re a little worried
What if September is too cold and your surprise won’t survive the cold temperatures?
Alas, as the month rolls around, the gods seem to be on your side
You are rewarded with a sunny September, in which temperatures barely drop to anything below 17/62 degrees c/f
Daniela is enthusiastic! While she is not supposed to be out a lot, Alcina allows the sisters to leave the castle a few hours a day to hunt and play outside
You know, normally the drop of the warm, summer temperature means they are locked up in the castle for their own safety
Not quite this September, it seems
You wait patiently, grinning as the days pass
The first of September
The second, the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth, the seventh, the eight, the ninth
Many days of the month pass, yet the temperature stays stable
Daniela seems oblivious to her birthday nearing rapidly
She spends her days outside as much as she can, chasing her sisters and hunting together, causing torment and messes wherever they can
Each day she returns with a large grin on her adorable face
While each sister is somewhat greedy, all are surprisingly enthusiastic and contend with the few hours they are allowed outside per day
They all know not to stray too far, nor to stay out any later than they are allowed to
And each day, Daniela brings you a little gift from her hunts
Sometimes it’s a flower she finds blooming in the forest
At other times a ring or necklace from her latest prey
Sometimes, she finds you a leaf that shines so beautifully in the light, it catches her attention
You’re eager to return the favour in the form of a surprise on her birthday
And so, more days pass
Both of you are so happy, and as the last days and hours pass, you prepare accordingly
At 11:20pm the night leading up to her birthday, you awaken to your alarm
You smile at your girlfriend as she sleeps contentedly
Her face rests on your chest, her soft cheek smudged against your skin. Her eyes are shut and her breathing is even
Daniela only whines occasionally in her sleep, or grins. You wonder what dream she is having
With her warm and comforting presence by your side, you are almost tempted to stay in bed a little longer
Yet, as tempting as it is, you know not to. Your surprise awaits at last
You run your index fingertip down her nose, smiling as she whines and rubs her face against you, as though to rid herself of the ticklish feeling
When you tap her bottom nose again, Daniela whines in return yet again
“Daniiiii”, you coo
She groans, a small, sleepy whimper coming from her
You can’t help but giggle at her. She’s so adorable
Golden eyes open slowly and with great effort as you cup her warm cheeks, before they scan the room
There is no threat however. Only the two of you
She blinks in surprise when you move forwards and press a kiss to both her warm cheeks
“I’ve got a surprise for you, my love”, you whisper. Immediately, she seems more awake
A surprise? For her?!
She’s thrilled!
You help her out of bed and pull some of the clothing you’ve laid out for her to the bed
Her puzzled look makes you smile, even as she frowns in confusion. Why would she need such warm clothing now?
You share with her: you plan on taking her outside. While wary of Alcina’s command not to take a step outside, Daniela grins in delight. Mother doesn’t have to know!
You help her into warm clothing, consisting of leggings underneath her thick trousers, your shirt and hoodie and a warm coat for your girlfriend
You place a beanie on top of her head and smile widely at how well it fits her
Then, you work on putting thick gloves on her petite fingers
And lastly, you gently wrap a scarf around her neck. You cover the lower part of her face with it to ensure the wind can’t get to it
With only her nose and cheeks out, you press a kiss to all three and smile when it pulls a giggle from her
Daniela watched curiously as you pocket a small box, then allows you to pull her through the castle halls
She forces herself to refrain from giggling when the two of you sneak past Alcina’s wing, and hums as she allows you to grasp her hand and move her along
Was she her sister, Daniela might’ve grown suspicious why you aren’t taking her outside through the main doors
Was she her sister, she might’ve become on edge when you move and open the door to the castle rooftop
Daniela, however, trusts you
And so she only gasps at the cold air that attempts, and fails, to get to her through her thick clothing
She gasps again, in surprise this time, when you carefully move until you take the stairs to the smooth, even area of the rooftops
A table has been dragged there, adorned with blankets and thick clothing just in case she would get cold
“Close your eyes for me, my sweet”, you request, and smile as she does so
This proves her utter trust in you
How she closes her eyes and allows you to guide her to the edge of the roof. Even with the cold air leaving her vulnerable- not yet lethal, but certainly enough to make it hard for her to swarm. Right to the edge, where you could push her to her death
Of course, you don’t dare even consider such a thing
Daniela feels your hands cover her eyes when she is led to the edge of the even, balcony-like part of the roofs
“What are we waiting for?”, she asks softly
Your whispers in her ear are her answer:
“Just a few more seconds, baby. Then it’s your birthday”
She suddenly feels shivers run down her spine in anticipation. Her birthday- she has almost forgotten all about it. Or at the very least tried it
Now though, she can’t help but smile and feel hopeful
You didn’t forget
You glance at the clock set on the table, and smile as you whisper in her ear yet again
“Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…”
“Happy Birthday, my love”
Daniela blinks away the darkness when your hands move from her face and her eyes open up again
Immediately, they widen at the sight below her
The castle garden shines beautifully. Lamps have been set up, lights adorn the trees and hedges
But most impressively: there is a heart shaped spot in the grass that blooms with red roses
You gasp in surprise as she dashes forwards, over the edge of the balcony and forth to the true edge of the roof
She bends forwards, as though trying to get closer to it
For a moment, her head turns and she shoots you a watery smile
She shivers as she uses what strength she has to swarm back to you, and blushes when you gently wipe the tears from her eyes
“It’s so beautiful”, she whispers
You send her a smile in return and gasp in surprise as she pushes herself back against your chest and cries softly
“You’re the best”, she cries happily, her petite frame shaking with each sob that comes from her
When you cup her face again, you are thick to wipe her tears with your thumb
“Now Dani, your birthday is no occasion to cry on, my love”, you whisper back to her
A gentle smile is returned to you as she turns her head again
Up this close, you see her eyes practically sparkle as she looks at the many lights and beautiful roses in the garden
“Tomorrow, we will pick them, my love”, you promise her
She gasps your hand tightly as she pulls you in for another kiss
Only does she let go when she feels your hand fish for something in your pockets
The box!
Her eyes widen when you open it and a beautiful, golden necklace is revealed. A single, beautiful, green crystal is attached
You gently put it on her, smiling when she smiles so brightly at you. Her eyes and lashes are wet from tears, happy ones
“Happy Birthday, Daniela”, you whisper with a gentle smile
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VERY IMPORTANT CALL-OUT!!
!!TW: Ableism and Death Threats!!
(There will be another warning further down this post as there’s other triggering topics that will be discussed!)
Reblogs are heavily encouraged! Please if possible, share this around as much as you can, and as many times you can to bring the much needed awareness! We really can’t let this go unnoticed!
Okay, official and serious call-out now because I won’t remain silent while this happens, but let’s hope and pray that this is the last time I have to talk about this absolutely horrible individual…
My fist post about this person is here if you want more context going into this, it was a more personal post to set boundaries on my blog so that’s why it’s not very detailed but this one will be a full on and detailed exposé on everything I know of currently, along with the relevant screenshots I have.
The tumblr user who formerly went by @/ghostlyselfships, who is now currently @/philips-wife, also goes by @/specter-teeth on their main and @/ghostlypenumbra on their art blog (their actual name being Alex) has continued with their disgusting behaviour and now I really need to say something again as it’s gotten to the point of not only the death threats from before and more but just blatant shameless ableism when going on their cowardly long rants about me in other posts tags along with just a plethora of other nasty, weird and unacceptable stuff that also takes place on Discord. Yes if you thought it was bad before… It unfortunately gets much, much worse.
I’ll be sharing the particularly bad and more problematic parts in smaller snippets in this post, though genuinely all of it is just so awful and fucked up tbh, so I’m putting up the full length screenshots here to prevent this post from ending up a mile long, I really do suggest you go and check them out too since they’re just as important and I also talk a little more about it all over there!
Now let’s take a proper look at this stuff:
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Even in just this very tiny snippet from the whole thing there’s still a whole lot to unpack here…
1. We have yet again even more condescending invalidation towards my self-ship because they can’t seem to grasp the concept of AUs and that I want to have fun with my own unique ideas, and they think that they’re better than me and everyone else for religiously following the canon. I’m sorry, but she doesn’t just have a stick up her ass for this; she has the whole goddamn entire fucking tree permanently lodged up there forever.
2. I’m so not the “leader” of anyone, nor have I ever claimed to be, I’m way too socially awkward for that made up bullshit. But they seem to be obsessed with believing that I am some kind of leader in self-shipping community, which is both weird and hilarious. Yeah, I have a decent following now which I've gained over most of last year, but not that many and I certainly don’t control them in any way, because that’s just insane. If people blocked you, it’s because they saw your shitty off-putting behaviour which you don’t bother to hide and decided to stay far the fuck away from it for good reason. My blog is enjoyed by many people for a reason, because I actually post fun and relatable content for the community, and I don’t treat everyone around me like the dirt on the bottom of my shoes (aka the way you do).
3. Now onto this absolute fuckery... Talking about how they’re happy they’re “less neuronically mentally ill” than me, firstly, they know nothing about my mental health or anything about how my autism works. They immediately follow on to say that they don’t mean to shit on all neurotypical people, but that’s exactly what they just did in that very sentence. They referred to it in a derogatory sense, looking down on those who suffer more than them, and there’s no other way to interpret that. Then saying “as I’m also basically one myself," queue the biggest fucking eye roll ever, in all of history from everyone who just read that... Like, oh, shut your big ass gob up now. It’s almost laughable how pathetic that line is. Trust me, no one cares whatsoever about what you believe you are, especially when you say it in such a fake way purely just to save face. Saying that does not automatically absolve you of what you’re saying or give you some free pass, because, believe it or not, disabled people can also be ableist to other disabled people! And finally, “I’m wishing all the ill and destruction in the world upon one, and it’ll come sooner or later based on their brain’s wiring alone." Firstly, this is disgusting and absolutely vile. Everyone I showed this to online and offline before deciding to make this post was shocked and in disbelief. When I read this out loud to my sister last night, her jaw literally dropped, which is pretty much the only reaction to have when hearing such a thing. And secondly, there’s not much else to say, as that part just speaks for itself, but all I'm gonna say is talking about my “brain’s wiring” and how it’ll bring upon my "destruction." Is just an all-around big yikes...
Here’s two mini screenshots of them casually saying in the tags of other self-shipper’s posts the things they want to do to me or wish will happen to me, these definitely aren’t the only times they’ve said things like this and I have no doubt they say worse, more detailed and disturbing things when in more private settings like on Discord:
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I find the first one particularly goofy because it was on that funny post going around that was supposed to be aimed at canon x canon and popular fanon pairings, but she had the audacity to use it to bring up how she wants to kill me while also invalidating my relationship with my husband again because apparently she can’t go two seconds without doing that.
The full screenshots of one of their responses to my original post will be with all the others and some of my thoughts on it, but here I just wanna share this small cutout because it’s so stupid where this losers priorities are at, also the whole age thing is very relevant especially for what I’ll be talking about next:
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For some very important context to the people who don’t know: I am 19, though I’ve only been for a few months now, and Alex is 23!
I feel like it’s so telling alone that this is their genius and not at all childish response to when I called out the fact that they’re much older than me and how it’s so weird to be going around and doing all of this since they should definitely know better at their age. Like, no thought or any acknowledgment of that, just some weird thing about how her being older somehow equals more love? Which is ironic because I noticed that I’ve actually been shipping with him for a lot longer, so she just sounds really stupid with her failed "aha! Gotcha" moment lol. And in this same rant that this was taken from, they told me to stop being childish?! Girl, you’re literally the one who’s doing all of this just because I was happily minding my own business and being in love with my beloved husband, and you got all jealous and pissy over it. You need to seriously grow up.
!!Second TW: mentions of NSFT topics, Body Shaming and Stalking!!
I wanna firstly say thank you so much to the person who provided me with this information and the Discord screenshots for this part! It means a lot as all the suff already mentioned is bad but this is just a whole other new level of shit that I would’ve been completely oblivious to if you hadn’t contacted me, which I’m very grateful for!
There’s quite a lot to discuss here, and I may cuss a lot more in this section for good reason, as it’s hard to stay chill with how messed up this is, but I’ll try to keep it minimal as best I can my lovelies.
Okay, so now that we know they’re an ableist, completely set on wishing death and pain on me purely just because I ship with the same character, a liar, and just a shitty person all around, I’m now going to show you all why they’re also a filthy perverted degenerate stalker too and how they accidentally managed to expose that with their embarrassingly funny little slip-ups in the following messages:
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Okay, prepare to have literally everything you say in these messages all shut down real quick bitch.
1. Yes, I do have three Tumblr blogs in total, one main and two side ones, which is completely fine and normal, btw! Though what leaves me completely and utterly perplexed is how the massive hypocrite also has three? And MORE! Let’s not forget that important detail now! They definitely have more secret blogs that they use to stalk mine, as I have them completely blocked across the board on all my blogs, yet they still manage to stalk me. And I know that because I have the visibility settings set, so you have to be logged in to view them, and so they don't appear on external search engines.
2. Yes, I do post my “real damn body,” as she so oddly refers to it like she’s never seen another human before in her life. I have the right to do so as it's my blog and my body, but I have never ever posted my “pussy” at all, which she so boldly claims. So many straight-up lies that she’s pulling out of her stupid ass to impress her little Discord friends. What are you all 5 or something? Acting like you've never seen a woman's body before, you fucking virgin. (Sorry that's a little uncalled for, but it's funny, so I'm leaving it because virgin jokes make me giggle, and I need some humour to cope while dealing with all this stressful bullshit.)
3. I have publicly stated several times on my old pinned post and in the about section of my current carrd for my nsft blog that it is a GENERAL smutty blog that I happen to post self-ship stuff the most, but that doesn’t mean exclusively! Basically, if you want to know how my blogs work in order, my main is for everything and all fandom stuff but keeping it sfw, this blog is for just self-shipping and things related but keeping it sfw, and my nsft is just a blog for ANY AND ALL horny stuff I wish to post, so literally anything that’s too suggestive that I can’t post on my other two blogs goes on there! It is not an exclusive self-ship nsft blog as she calls it, since I post about and reblog other things that aren’t just my f/os, so she just sounds hella goofy saying that like she’s the blog police or something.
4. The way she words it, is like I purposefully post nudes to force them upon my poor, unsuspecting mutuals, which is just not the case at all, as the way I post them actually makes them completely optional to view. I’ll show you an example of what one looks like here:
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Every explicit image of mine on my nsft blog has a banner, then a little bit of text. And then the actual content itself is always hidden below the cut. They’re also tagged properly with my own tag “#me <3” and the tumblr tag “#nsft pics” for anyone who wants to filter them out properly. It is very much completely impossible for any of my mutuals or followers to accidentally get flashed by any of them. You literally can’t stumble upon them by accident; if you want to view them, you’re given the choice to, every time. But she seems to leave that crucial detail out in favour of making up some narrative that my nsft blog is just endless nudes out and about for anyone to see. Also, just FYI, I only have a handful up, and I haven’t even been using my nsft blog for months now since I wanted to focus on posting here more.
Just to add on for extra info, yes, I am hypersexual due to trauma I experienced in the past, and that does influence the things I post there. No, I’m not going to say anything further than that, as it’s very personal stuff, but I think it’s disgusting to get on your high horse and judge what I decide to post when it's none of your business, seeing as I have you blocked.
Anyway! Speaking of being blocked, and now that I’ve explained all the logistics of how my blog works, how about we now talk about how the dumbass actually managed to indirectly admit to being a perverted creep?! This bitch knows I have her hard blocked on all my blogs; she even acknowledged and was proud to be on my DNI, thinking it was funny; she knows from my original call-out that I felt incredibly unsafe, but she proceeded to still go out of her way to access my nsft blog, which, as I mentioned, you have to be a logged-in tumblr user to look at, so she has some kind of secret blog to do that; then she proceeded to stalk all my posts; then she actively sought after my nudes, and let me remind you, OPENED THEM UP!! She didn’t just stumble upon them because that's impossible; she stalked me while knowing my boundaries, looked for them, and clicked to actively open them up herself to look! Content she shouldn’t even have knowledge about, let alone even be able to access, but proudly flaunts about it on Discord and wanted to share it all with malicious intent to the other people on there. And without a doubt, I bet she has all my pics saved somewhere. Yes, I post my stuff publicly, and I know that, and anyone who knows of my blog can see it, but YOU ARE FUCKING BLOCKED AND YOU KNOW IT!!! You are not one of those people who are welcome to see my posts! You are a sick and vomit-enducingly disgusting degenerate stalker! That is what you truly are, you piece of shit and now everyone knows it!
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When I first saw this, I was obviously confused and just thought it was some weird, extremely childish insult, but then I got the Discord screenshots sent to me, and now, with the context, it’s just gross as fuck. My other reaction was also just, “You are literally a girl... Why are you hating like a man?” /ref lmao. But yeah, it’s absolutely fucking wild how this woman is completely obsessed with my hypothetical pussy that she made up in her head to obsess over. And then proceeds to body shame it too! Sorry to burst your bubble, girlie, but the “exposed fat ugly pussy” you speak of quite literally does not exist whatsoever, as mine is cute and an innie, the complete opposite of what you creepily fantasise about. But even if it was not, the female anatomy is special and deserves respect! All vagainas in their many unique shapes, colours, and sizes are fucking beautiful, so grow up, you misogynistic jealous ass bitch. Also, I know that with the "fat" part, it's just even more body shaming, but I'm very happy with the way I look as a plus-size girl, as there's just more of my sexy body for my husband to love, and trust me, he does any and every chance he gets, if you know what I mean… ;)
Oh yeah and btw they’re one of those moronic people who believes they can’t be held accountable for the horrible shit they say no matter how insane it. Sorry to burst your bubble but my “mentality” is the very normal one that the majority of people hold up. They also just admit they wanna say a lot more and I have no doubt they do, like if this is the shit they say publicly then I don’t even wanna imagine what they say privately:
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If you guys have anything more to add, like more screenshots, any updates especially name changes since they’ve already done it once like the coward they are and will no doubt do it again, just useful stuff like that, etc... Or your own shitty experiences with this creep you want to share, I encourage you to add as much as you’d like in the reblogs or make your own posts too! From some of the conversations I’ve had, it’s clear they make a lot of other people they’ve interacted with on Discord and here on tumblr uncomfortable, so I hope more will speak up on this!
And to everyone else, the best you can do is make sure to report as many times you can and block!! Let’s hope we can get rid of this loser and put an end to their shitty antics for good.
Also here’s the full length screenshots again so you don’t have to scroll back to the top to find them!
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putschki1969 · 3 months
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KEIKO Planetarium Live〜Starry Night〜 & Chocolate meating#3〜Starry Night edition〜 Live Report
I experienced so many amazing things during my recent Japan trip but for some reason, this special planetarium event left the most lasting impression so that's why I wanted it to be the topic of my first live report. Below you'll find an abundance of fangirling and mindless blabbering so please brace yourselves! The post will be divided into the following sections to make it easier for you to get through.
General Info
Preface
Merchandise
Venue
Performance
Fan Club Exclusive Part
General Info
Instagram post by Keiko | Tweet by Keiko | Tweet by Yuriko
『KEIKO Planetarium Live ~Starry Night~』 [Date] Sunday, December 17, 2023 [Time] Open 14:30 / Start 15:00 [Ticket fee] 8,000 yen (tax included) [Venue] Konica Minolta Planetaria TOKYO DOME1
FC Exclusive 『Chocolate meating #3 ~Starry Night edition~』 [Date] Sunday, December 17, 2023 [Time] Open 17:00 / Start 17:30 [Ticket fee] 8,500 yen (tax included) ※FC exclusive benefit included [Venue] Konica Minolta Planetaria TOKYO DOME1
Preface
When this was first announced I was devastated because at that time, my trip to Japan was scheduled to end on Dec 14th. But with both Wakana and Keiko announcing solo performances after that day, I was determined to find a way to extend my stay. Initially, I was hesitant because I knew there was no way to change my return flight. I would ultimately lose a significant amount of money and on top of that, I would have to book a new one-way return ticket for a later date which would cost me a fortune as well. After considering all my pros and cons, I ultimately decided to go through with the whole thing because I knew I would probably hate myself forever if I didn't use that opportunity. Of course it also hinged upon whether or not I would manage to get a ticket for the fan club performance in the evening. I knew my chances were super slim due to the tiny venue (~100 people) but luckily, I won a ticket. At that point I knew that I had no excuses not to go XD This is by far one of he craziest and most irrational things I've ever done so for some time I was afraid that I would end up with horrible regrets but I am happy to report that it was worth every penny for me. Not only was Wakana's concert amazing, these two Keiko performances absolutely blew me away with their intimate nature and unique atmosphere. Can you believe that this was actually the first time for me to attend a Keiko solo event? I had purchased streaming tickets for all of her online lives of course but I had never been to an on-site event. And for a while now, I have been asking myself if I would even enjoy a one-man live like that since - as we all know - I am not particularly fond of a lot of her solo releases but, lo and behold, my love for Keiko and her music was 100% reaffirmed. I am so glad that I took the plunge, I couldn't be more grateful to have been able to be there for this amazing experience. On this note, I wanna give a big shout-out to my friend Pae who encouraged me from the get-go to come to the event and who got our tickets for the day performance. It was a general sale on a first come-first serve basis and she really knocked it out of the park with her professional ticket purchasing skills. I definitely could never have done it that quickly so kudos to her. Here's a picture of little old me, Pae and her friend from Thailand.
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Merchandise
I wanna take a few moments to talk about the live goods because I am utterly smitten with everything. The acrylic stands and the block are particularly pretty but I am also obsessed with the polaroids. I almost couldn't contain myself and since they didn't have any limits as to how many pieces one person could buy, I naturally went all out. Don't worry, I didn't buy that much since I was still reeling from how expensive it was to extend my trip. Also, I was one of the first few people in line so it would have been rude to buy an excessive amount, there were a ton of other fans around after all, they obviously also wanted to buy a lot of merch. While they prepared plenty of the random polaroid magnets, they unfortunately didn't really bring enough of the acrylic stuff. By the end of the day performance, the acrylic stands were already completely sold out and after the evening performance, the acrylic block was gone too. I guess that means that even if we get an online sale at one point, they will only sell the tote bag and the magnets...or maybe they'll produce another batch of all the acrylic items...We'll have to wait and see...I could see myself buying some more polaroids if they become available online. I only got two pieces with a handwritten message by Keiko so it would be nice to have more. But they are not exactly cheap so I'll have to think about it.
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Venue
The venue was...not what I had expected XD. The pictures online of Konica Minolta Planetaria are a bit misleading but I guess that's because they only ever feature Dome 2 and not Dome 1 which is significantly smaller and doesn't have any of the fancy seats. Our seats were little more than reclining beach chairs with a little table but oh well, I didn't come there to be seated comfortably so it didn't bother me too much. At the end of the day, it was a good thing that the dome was so tiny because it made everything feel so much more intimate. And let me tell you, when I say intimate, I mean intimate. I've never ever been this close to Keiko (and I've had my fair share of close encounters with her). There were no assigned seats for the performances, everyone just had a number on their ticket and we were allowed to enter the dome in order of that number. As mentioned earlier, Pae was super fast getting our tickets so we ended up with the numbers 5 to 7, meaning that for the day performance I got a seat right at the front with a clear view of Keiko. There was no stage or anything, just a bit of basic equipment, some microphones and two stools. This meant that there was barely any space between the front row and the artist area (1 metre maybe). Needless to say, I spent the entire time looking at Keiko XD. I almost felt a bit bad because I was missing out on the lovely projections but to be fair, it was actually quite hard to get a good view of them this close to the front so the best option for me was to just stare at Keiko. During the break I bought myself a yummy galaxy donut which was almost too pretty to eat but at that point I was starving so I literally devoured it. For the FC exclusive evening performance I wasn't nearly as lucky when it came to my number. I got #71 so I ended up in one of the last rows unfortunately. From the first performance I knew that Keiko would be entering from the back door on the left side and walk through the audience so I at least made sure to take a seat close to the door so she would walk right past me (which she did so YAY but more on that later). On another positive note, the seat in the back made it possible for me to get fully immersed in the projections without being too distracted by Keiko. It was truly breathtaking to see all these space-themed vivid images across the ceiling.
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Performance
It feels like I have already talked so much about the whole thing but I haven't mentioned a single thing about the actual performances so let me rectify that. I've already alluded to it in the beginning of this post, Keiko was absolutely stunning and I am obviously not just talking about her looks. Her vocals were out of this world, every single song of the setlist flattered her so much, there was not a single misplaced note as far as I could tell. Due to the nature of the event, it was of course a very understated performance, there was no wild movement or crazy choreography, it was just Keiko standing/sitting there being illuminated by the tiniest of lights, just enough to still see her but never enough to distract from the visuals. After all, the main focus were supposed to be the projected images and for the most part, that was the case. Only occasionally they would shine some more light on Keiko (mostly during MCs). As you can see below, the setlist was full of ballads and OMG, I couldn't have been happier about that. She sang almost all my faves so I was pretty much in heaven for the first half of the live. Almost started crying during 通り雨 because it was painstakingly beautiful. キミガネムルカラ and 夕顔 were also true gems to experience live, so haunting and mystic. She brought out her brand new guitar for songs #4 to #6 and while I have never been the biggest fan of acoustic guitars, Keiko really managed to make me fall in love with the sound. Both her and her guitarist did a fantastic job arranging and performing these tracks. Also, I was quite surprised to hear Yas Nakajima provide backup vocals for Keiko during Burn In The Wind, their voices match perfectly.
The cover section was admittedly a bit of a let-down for me since the chosen songs are not exactly among my favourites. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy myself or that Keiko didn't deliver the songs flawlessly, it's just that I don't really care all that much for the songs themselves. There were some really gorgeous high notes though so I really can't complain. Speaking of covers, I was super hyped when Keiko announced that she would be singing 風の街へ, a self-cover of her first FictionJunction KEIKO work. I had a feeling she would maybe sing it (since it's obviously a perfect fit for this sort of atmosphere) but Pae kept telling me that it probably wouldn't be happening. Glad I was right about that. During the MC, Keiko was talking about her upcoming single 夕闇のうた so for a while I was sure she would just sing that but she ultimately did not perform it. We got to hear the full version a few days earlier at Kaji Fes. so I wasn't too disappointed that it didn't make it onto the setlist of the planetarium live (also, if I am being honest, the song hasn't really grown on me yet so it's not like I'm dying to hear it again and again). Instead, she chose the song that marked the very beginning of Keiko's journey together with Yuki Kajiura and really, I can never get enough of it. It's one of my very favourite YK x Keiko collaborations and it's always such a pleasure to hear it live. It was only my second time so I couldn't have been more grateful. The final three songs were a nice change of pace with more involvement from the audience and more focus on Keiko rather than the projections. I certainly didn't expect ラテ to make an appearance but with the pretty lights, it worked surprisingly well. The whole thing had a very futuristic feel to it if you know what I mean. ユア has slowly been growing on me and it's just such a feel-good song that I cannot stop vibing with it (similar to Wakana's Happy Hello Day actually). The ending was beyond epic, エンドロール is such a cool song. I just wish I had known the lyrics so I would have been able to sing along properly (I have zero skills when it comes to memorising lyrics) . Keiko tried to prepare us with a few test-runs but I kept mixing up some lines T_T Oh well, I had a blast so that's all that counts! The one thing I felt kinda sad about was the fact that we didn't get an encore but I guess they had to keep the performance short...?
M-1キミガネムルカラ M-2夕顔 M-3通り雨 M-4夜の嘘と M-5Lost M-6Burn In The Wind M-7駅 by 竹内まりや (Cover) M-8ルビーの指環 by 寺尾聰 (Cover) M-9秋桜 by 山口百恵 (Cover) M-10風の街へ (Self-Cover) M-11ラテ M-12ユア M-13エンドロール
Fan Club Exclusive Part
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When I entered the dome for the fan club exclusive evening performance, I was given a large envelope by a staff member containing a message card by Keiko. The scan above features the picture which makes up one half of the card. So pretty! (Please keep in mind that this is fan club exclusive!) As mentioned earlier, I had a seat pretty far in the back during this performance, I was still close enough to have a good view of Keiko but I decided to focus on the projections this time around since Keiko jokingly mentioned a couple of times that she felt so many eyes on her and that we should try to enjoy the gorgeous view above as well. With the way she said it, I could tell that she wasn't annoyed or angry about it but she genuinely just wanted us the get the most out of the experience. And yeah, I have to admit, it was amazing to just lean back and watch the gorgeous space visuals while being gently wrapped by Keiko's vocals. Also, for some weird reason, the seats in the back were much more comfortable than the ones in the front row so that made it a lot easier to just relax. The setlist was the exact same and Keiko's performance was just as good. There were some technical issues with the projections at one point so the staff asked Keiko to take a little break and entertain the audience for a while so they could fix the problem. Keiko was really cute during this section because she struggled to come up with something to talk about. All her other MCs had been rather short and straight-to-the-point so there wasn't really anything to talk about. She even admitted that it was quite hard for her to just talk to an audience without having anyone on stage with her to create a sort of a back and forth. Unfortunately, her guitarist was pretty useless in that regard since he didn't feel comfortable at all talking XD Keiko ended up blabbering on and on about the most random stuff and eventually talked a bit about the guitar arrangement for 秋桜 which she found quite impressive. After they had fixed the issue, we went back to the regular program for a couple of songs until Keiko announced that it was time for some special games since this was a fan club event after all. First, we played a few rounds of a Maru-Batsu-Quiz (True-or-False-Quiz). They had prepared some Keiko-trivia questions. Everyone was asked to stand up and with every question people either answered with "true" (fist) or "false" (open hand). Those who answered incorrectly had to sit down so fewer and fewer people remained standing as time went by. Some of the questions were a bit tricky so all you could do was guess. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of the lucky winners at the end. Although I will say that these games are mostly based on trust since you can always pretend to have made the correct gesture or change your gesture in the right moment (it's hard to verify stuff like that). There were a handful of guys who won the first two rounds, they got to walk towards the front and Keiko gave them a little present (some snack souvenirs from the most recent Asia tour-leg, nothing too exciting). Then we were all surprised because for one round the last person standing happened to be none other than Yuriko Kaida. Turns out she had been sitting right behind me all this time (her seat was the closest one to the back door in the very last row). I did not expect her to actually collect her prize (especially since Keiko mentioned that Yuriko had gotten the exact same souvenir in Taiwan) but she did. It was a treat seeing them interact like that. They are so funny together and it was during those moments that you could immediately tell that Keiko became so much more relaxed and talkative once she had someone on-stage with her who she felt comfortable with. As a final game, we did one round of rock-paper-scissors which once again, I wasn't lucky enough to win but I guess it just wasn't meant to be T_T
When the show was over, Keiko walked through the audience towards the door in the back and that's when my seat choice really paid off. She got super close to the people who had an aisle seat, she made eye contact, waved at us and even did little high fives with the one or the other female fan who dared to initiate a gesture like that (of course I didn't because I am too chicken-shit for that). Once Keiko was gone, Yuriko was also ushered outside. Some of us were still hopeful that we would get an encore, especially since they had closed the exit again but alas we didn't get one. However, we were all in for a special treat when it was time to finally get up and leave. When they started playing the usual after-live announcement it was obvious that there wouldn't be an encore so I took my stuff and headed towards the back door which a staff member was just about to open. That's when I realised that Keiko was standing right outside the door, waiting for the audience members to give each one of us a private send-off. This is a common occurrence with fan club events in Japan but I've never had it happen with Keiko before so this was super special. Also, during and even long after the pandemic, situations with close encounters like that were strictly avoided so I didn't really expect them to do a send-off. Seems like we have finally moved past those restrictions! BANZAI! Anyway, I literally froze in place when I saw Keiko standing there because I was scared to be the first one to be greeted by her. I waited a few seconds so a handful of people could walk out before me. This way I was able to observe what other fans were saying to her and how much time the staff allowed each person with Keiko. I know, it probably sounds ridiculous to you but this sort of stuff stresses me out immensely, I prefer to be at least a tiny bit prepared. I was probably the fifth person to walk outside and most people inside the dome were still putting on their clothes or picking up their stuff so there was not really a line behind me or any type of rush. When I got in front of Keiko, we both did the crazy waving thing again while I thanked her for everything. Then I told her that I am always supporting her from Vienna and she was like, "wow, Vienna, so cool!" At that point it would have probably been my turn to step away since I could tell that the staff member next to Keiko was getting antsy and already preparing to ask me to continue walking. But I wanted to use the opportunity to briefly mention my undying love for the beret I had won during a previous fan club event. As you probably all know, this is my most-prized possession. It's a hat previously owned and frequently worn by Keiko herself, she signed it and even wrote my name on it before shipping it out to me. Being as obsessed with Kalafina fashion as I am, I really couldn't have asked for a better gift. Squeezing all those emotions into a single sentence or two was very hard but I tried my best. I had forgotten how to breathe at that point and my voice was getting super weird. I pointed at my hat and hoped that she would even remember that she had given it away. Then I all but squeaked out how grateful I was to win it and that I would treasure it all my life. She also pointed at it with clear recognition on her face (thank God or it would have been embarrassing XD) and told me with the brightest of smiles, "ah yes, yes, I know, that's amazing, I am so happy for you!" Needless to say, that almost killed me 💀I definitely ascended to another plane of existence that day. I didn't wanna push my luck any further so with a final wave I kept walking towards the reception area and thus ended my Keiko Planetarium experience. Even hours after the event, I was still reeling from everything that had happened.
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My plane was supposed to leave bright and early the following morning so I did not stick around longer than necessary. I said my goodbyes to a couple of fellow fans and then took off. Some of them wanted to invite me to a small after-dinner-party but I just wouldn't have been able to deal with the stress on the eve of my departure.
All right, that's it, hopefully I didn't forget anything and I didn't bore you to death. Kudos to anyone who managed to make it to the end.
PS: I just wanna say that Keiko is the prettiest human being ever. Every time I see her up-close I'm reminded of her other-worldly beauty. Standing right next to her, it doesn't even feel like she is a real person because everything about her looks so smooth and polished, like someone put a filter on top of her XD
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luimagines · 7 months
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Tbh I don’t think Captain always had a way with girls, I think he was one of those boys who had insane massive glow up and always got rejected until then. Soooo Ima send in a story about it 😋.
There was a little celebration in a tiny village the chain were in. Time and Twi spoke to each other, Wild and four hanging out with new friends they had made in the village, Sky slept so softly as little kids tried to wake him up by poking his face as for Legend, Wind and Hyrule watched Warrior as he danced with two beautiful girls they were judging him, Well, Legend was at least.
“I don’t get it, how is he always attracting girls and guys?” Legend says in frustration. Wind giggles and Hyrule side-eyed him.
“Don’t be jealous of him Legend.” Hyrule furrowed his eyebrows. “Yeah, I mean we’re all friends here. We can’t just- my bad- You can’t just be jealous of him.” Wind closed his eyes and huffed.
“Woah woah woah, no way I would ever be jealous in the likes of him.” Legend rolled his eyes and scoffed. Hyrule and Wind giggled.
“It’s okay we still love you.” Hyrule smiled and Wind nodded in agreement, Legend was obviously annoyed and rolled his eyes, he knew Hyrule and Wind were obviously thinking the same thing as him they’re just not exactly like him. The 3 youngest of the chain were curious but didn’t dare say anything about it. Except for Legend of course.
Then the most dramatic thing had happened well at least in Wilds opinion it was. One of the ladies Husband had seen her dancing with her friend, with Warrior, imagine what the man thought. Yup, his wife was a little obsessed with Warrior when they had came in the village and would never stop talking about him to her husband! he was jealous.
“Lillie?! What the hell are you doing?!” The husband growled. Everyone paused, hell, even Time batted an eye. “Nothing!” The wife’s face turned red out of embarrassment. “First you want to talk about him for days now you wanna dance with him with your friend?” the husband frowned. Warrior quickly backed away from the two ladies as he realized what this guy was trying to imply.
“Oh.” Warrior didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t really trying anything with the ladies.
“It’s not my fault that your insecure!” The wife furrowed her eyebrows and cross her arms, People let out a gasp, Wild laughed, Twi and Time widen their eyes, Hyrule, Leg, and Wind saying “oh shit.” as they were invested in the now drama.
The wife and husband had started to cause a big scene infront of everyone. Eventually the husband was going to try and get War involved.
The husband turned to War looking at him with pure-rage. “And you’re an absolute man-whore! thinking you can get with these l-“ War had cut him off and Twi n Time had stepped in.
“Listen, there’s no way I would do anything with your wife or her friend.” Warrior calmly said, making the husband even more angry somehow. “WELL I THINK YOU SHOU-“
“Stop being so insecure, sir, this seems like something you and your wife should work out. privately.” Time butted in.
“And try not to yell so much, there’s kids here you know.”Twi growled out, Sky had woken up from the screams, the kids and sky stared in complete confusion.
A lot of words were exchanged Twilight had to block this man from even trying to hurt Warrior. Warrior was obviously starting to break character so he left. Everyone’s evening was ruined.
Warrior rubbed his temples in frustration, Legend, Hyrule, and Wind stayed with him.
“God sometimes I hate being pretty.” War growled out.
“Actually?” Legend tilted his head. “I thought you were like always used to the attention and liked it.” Legend said cockily, which in War’s response was a death stare.
“I always didn’t look like this stupid.” War rolled his eyes. Hyrule and Wind got right up in his face.
“Tell us now. Skincare when?.” Hyrule said in serious tone. “And your hair routine.” Wind said confidence. Legend chuckled.
“But you weren’t always looking like this? What happened?” Legend asked curiously. War sighed.
“Back when I was a kid or a teen- basically before I even became a knight. I had bad hair, ance, dark spots on my body, you know that kind of stuff. it’s not like those things are bad because I learned to love myself at the time which resulted, into this.” War smiled. “I was always pretty. people just had high preferences.” War whispered that last part.
“One time when i was young I had the biggest crush on this girl and she didn’t just say no to me when i asked her out she spread rumors about me saying i’m a creep because of the way I looked.” Warrior frowned. “People didn’t like me because of how ‘ugly’ I was.” War said “ugly” sarcastically. “And guess what?” War glanced at the three who were shocked.
“What?” the three said at the same time.
“They still don’t.” War deadpan. “People either think they are higher than you or lower than you which always results in some kind of insecurity and negative response.” Warrior frowns and sighs.
“And guess what.” Warrior glances at the boys.
“What?” The all said in sync once again with wide eyes invested in what he has to say.
“Don’t ever let someone’s looks let you feel a certain type a way. okay?” War gave them the sweetest smile ever.
“Heck yeah!” Wind says happily. “Take his advice Legend.” Hyrule snickers. “That was the lamest advice ever.” Legend says in a attitude but takes the advice anyway. They all laughed.
Honestlyyyy this isn’t the best but that’s probably cause it’s late right now. anyway Goodnight/morning/afternoon when ever you read this pinkie !!
Oh dear XD
Warrior was almost in some serious hot water for just being around.
But you cut of the husband in a way that made it seem like he about to still aggressively defend his wife for liking Warrior like-
"Sir, I want nothing to do with your woman!"
"Well you should!"
I dunno, made me laugh. XD
Kinda wish Twilight came in, fisticuff style to help his buddy out, but I Time would have been holding him back to stay "diplomatic". That's who I see it in my head.
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just-promise-me-jm · 4 months
Text
An essay no one asked for
It was a long stressful day today so when I was taking a break from work I decided to do a quick scroll through social media to see what had been going on today.
Unsurprisingly, I almost immediately came across a number of posts trying to shade Jimin or make fun of his fans along with the typical "fuck solos" type narratives that seem so popular these days. All I really wanted to see were cute pictures of Jimin on his way to Hungary or hear some theories on what he might be doing there.
In fact, here is a cute Jimin pic to thank you for taking the time to even read the rest of this:
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credit to @UpdateParkJimin
So here is a short list of a few of the things I saw just today:
Jimin is obviously copying JK by going to film something in Hungary (such a stupid theory and I saw someone post that Seventeen actually went there first)
Jimin isn't as popular as JK because he didn't get mobbed by his fans (tbh they seemed very well behaved and I was proud that they didn't act like absolute fools and put Jimin in danger)
Jimin and the remaining members should just shave their heads already and go to the military so that we can get the promised 2025 reunion (absolute nonsense and a highly problematic take)
Solos are the worst and should be eradicated from the fandom (just because you are a solo it doesn't make you toxic, just like being an ARMY doesn't mean you are a good person)
Obviously I'm sure there is a lot more than that but that is all I had the pleasure of seeing on my break. Now most of these aren't totally new, just the same story with a different font, but it doesn't make it any more fun each time they go around. I could go into detail on any of these but to be honest most of them are so shallow and stupid that it's not even worth bothering.
What I really want to focus on today is the narrative that solos are toxic and something that needs to be removed from fandom spaces. The reality is that almost everyone in the fandom has a self-professed bias that they proudly display in their bio or profile pic. Even if they have a tiny seven somewhere in there, it doesn't make that fact any less true. I think it's natural to be more drawn to one person, one type of food, one pair of shoes, etc. as your favorite and it's incredibly rare that anyone can honestly say that they "love everyone equally" (even if it's your mom saying she doesn't have a favorite child, I don't believe her).
Like I said above, I know that some solos are toxic just like I know some ARMY are toxic. Again, I think that unfortunately it's natural that some people are going to just be shitty people no matter what. What it really all comes down to is how you treat others and how you conduct yourself in these fandom spaces. I said this in my first post but I'll say it here again - you and I don't have to agree on everything to treat each other with respect and decency. But if you come into a space and harass others and generally act like an idiot then yea you should be barred from those spaces. Painting a whole group in broad brushstrokes, however, is not the solution.
Saying you "hate solos" (which let's be real - it's often just a thinly veiled way to hate on PJMs or other Jimin supporters) just means that you are stereotyping a whole group of people that hold a variety of beliefs, feelings and behaviors. If you see something truly problematic that someone is posting or saying do what you are supposed to do - block and report. If it's just that someone doesn't agree with you or if you have some sick obsession with Jimin and his success - do me a favor and turn off your phone for a bit. Calling other people names and harassing them because they don't think your fave is the greatest thing ever is just pathological.
We live in a really messy world and I will never understand the desire to make it messier for others by being a dick. A much better way to spend your time and energy in a fandom is to actually do the things that help support your bias - stream, buy, vote, and share them with others who might not have found them yet. Or be like me and write multiple paragraphs that people may never read in an attempt to call out some real bullshit that is going on.
If you read this, I appreciate really it 💗.
Here is another Jimin for your time:
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toomanybandstocare · 2 years
Text
{Good Times Roll, The Cars}
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Program: Eddie is the type of boyfriend who will do absolutely everything for you in order to make you happy. But he's also a little shit who can't get enough of you.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x GN! Reader
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: Couple of swears, Eddie oogles reader, cheeky bum grab, lil make out if you can even call it that, Pet name (dove)
Length: 1137w
Counselor Notes: I hiked St. Sauveur in Acadia! Eddie would definitely grab your bum when he gets comfy with you in a relationship, and I couldn't stop thinking about that. Pictures below :)
Patches of hot sunlight break through the tree canopy and bake the bed of sheetrock. A concerto of Chickadees features a Mourning Dove’s solo. Twigs snap from little critters dashing to their homes and underneath your stumbling feet.
“Are you sure this is the right way, Eddie?” you pant. Beads of sweat trail down your temple and trickle onto your tongue leaving a salty taste.
“Course I do! I told you that I would handle planning this vacation,” he calls back in confidence. Eddie’s figure always somewhere in your line of sight. 
An amused chuckle pushes past your dry lips while watching your boyfriend dancing between trees. This whole hike, Eddie wouldn’t share your target location, but his excitement bounces as he skips over roots and quickly scales boulder formations. He looks so at home in the lush pine forest, your woodland prince.
Turning to face you and shielding her eyes, Eddie’s throat dries at the sight of your glowing figure. Unabashedly, his eyes trail down your body following the droplets of sweat glide across your skin. He wets his lips and bites his tongue. Lost in his thoughts, Eddie can’t help but let his mind wander. How you would react if he stole a little taste.
The sudden sound of a cleared throat startles him out of his daze. His heart racing and slightly flushed, Eddie’s slightly guilty eyes meet your teasing gaze. Chuckling, he presses an apologetic peck to your cheek while uncomfortably adjusting the cooler backpack strap. 
“Just up these rocks and we’re there. How about I help you up?” Eddie winks. A dramatic flourish of his arms and bow invites you to take the lead.
“Why do I get the sense that you’re up to no good, Munson,” you mumble, keeping a wary eye on him.
Eddie gasps, “How dare you question my integrity?”
“Oh, very easily,” you throw back while grasping onto the first notch in the rock, “Need I remind you of the PDA ban instilled back in Hawkins?” A searing heat hits your ankle from the jarring angle it twists.
“I don’t get the big deal,” Eddie’ voice much closer than a second ago. “If I want to show my love and affection, I should be able to. Not my fault Harrington’s hurt that he can only look but not touch”. His hands firmly grasp the back of your thigh when he notices your ankle jerk from the loose rock. 
You snap your head to look back at him shooting a suspicious stare. “The hell about Steve? And, careful with those,” you warn.
A mischievous spirit hums through Eddie as he responds with his sweetheart smile, “Get your mind out of the gutter and get climbing, dove”.
Slowly turning away from Eddie’s foux-innocent look, you refocus on the boulders blocking your way.
Before you can even move your hand, two quick squeezes to your bum shoot a surprised jolt through you. A tiny squeal squeaks itself free from your lips. Whipping your head around to peer at Eddie’s crouched form, hunched in uncontrollable laughter. “You little shit,” you hiss, “This is exactly why that ban is in place around our friends!” Giggles soon tickle your chest and betray your serious glower, “Telling me to get my mind out of the gutter when you steal cheeky grabs and pulling me into closets”.
“I’m sorry,” he wheezes and raises his hands in mock surrender, “Fuck, I’m sorry”. Eddie tries to catch his breath and provide some relief to his burning lungs. Tears stream down his face mixing with sweat as he wipes his eye, “But I’m really not. I’m obsessed with you, dove. Just want to keep you in my arms all day”.
“Your sweet words reek with testosterone,” you shake your head and pull yourself further up the boulder. Fingertips searing with pain from holding onto the ledge for so long. Your knees wobble in relief from the release of pressure. So close, nearly there.
“There you go, dove. Just a little further, and then you’ll see why I suggested this hell trail,” Eddie pushes your leg up and over the top. Giddiness bubbles inside him as you reach the summit. All the late nights planning. The little bickers loading the car. All worth it for your happiness.
Awes washes over you, head to toe, while you take in the mountain top view. “Holy shit, Eddie,” you breathe out. You watch the tiny sailboats float on top of the vass ocean harbor with little wakes trailing after the motorboats. The tall pine trees frame the scenic picture and share their well hidden secret.
An arm wraps itself around your waist, a welcoming warmth tingles through you as Eddie pulls you close. His other hand presses a cool can of beer to the back of your neck. “I was really hoping you would like it after all the death valleys and ass cliff climbs we did to get here,” he mumbles into your hair. “Told ya, I knew where I was leading us,” he jokes with a final kiss to your crown. Taking your hand, Eddie walks over to the cliff side, and he shrugs off the cooler and grabs a beer for himself, putting it off to the side. With cautious ease, seats himself on the ledge and safely guides you to join his side.
As one arm secures you to his side, the other reaches for his beer. The crack of metal and hiss of carbonation already make it feel as if the temperature has dropped a few degrees. “To our first couple’s vacation,” Eddie cheers.
“And to many more to come,” you promise, clinking your can against his. Your shared laughter mixes with the refreshing reward of cheap beer.
Stealing a kiss, the savory taste of beer and his tender touch make you dizzy. Nipping at his lip, the vibration and sound of his groans cause your heart to race. You press yourself further into his embrace and relish in how he so easily pulls you closer. Pulling away, you press rapid pecks to his smiling lips. “Thank you, honey. This is amazing,” you lean your head on his shoulder, feeling how heavy his breath has slightly become.
“Anything for you, you know that,” Eddie takes another sip of beer trying to wash away the growing need beginning to burn in his stomach. 
A lone drop of beer dangles from the corner of his mouth that catches your attention from the corner of your eye. As you press yourself even closer, you feel Eddie’s breath hitch. Licking away the teasing, amber droplet, you laugh darkly from how still Eddie’s become. You settle back into his hold and take in the gorgeous view while Eddie tries to remember how to function once more.
The PDA ban wasn’t just Eddie’s fault.
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