#a secret cross country drive to seattle and they cross in a random town and the rowdies hit tina's car and farah is like I HAVE A CARJACK | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

generalized-incompetence · 1 year

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Happy February everyone, Todd "Secret Romantic" Brotzman will go on for hours about how Valentine's Day is about capitalist corporate greed but he will also show up at 7pm with a dozen roses and reservations at a candlelit restaurant, and Dirk "Secret Not-So-Romantic" Gently will make eyes over every pink teddy bear in the store but then forget the date.

#my ideal valentine's fic is todd trying his utmost to hit every bullet in '17 Best Valentine's Dates for New Couples' like 'I Cannot Let #Dirk Down' but he keeps getting thwarted by the universe and by dirk being like 'I Cannot Pressure Todd' like todd is like at the florist #but they only have like parsley so he tries to buy flower seeds and dirk is like 'Oh No Todd Is Gardening' and feeds them to the birds and #todd gets all the ingredients for lava cake and dirk eats the chocolate and todd tries to hide cards and dirk finds them and hides them #somewhere else and eventually they realize they're at cross purposes and get it together but there are many shenanigans first #dghda #brotzly #farah is being an equal and opposite disaster in that she and tina are pretending valentine's doesn't even exist but they're both like #'WHAT IF VALENTINES DOES EXIST' and it culminates in farah giving up and starting a cross country drive to bergsberg except tina is ALSO on #a secret cross country drive to seattle and they cross in a random town and the rowdies hit tina's car and farah is like I HAVE A CARJACK #and then it's tina and they end up spending valentine's in idaho and it's also very sweet #(the rowdies are robbing chocolate stores across the northwest)#(no need to wait for the sale if you weren't paying to begin with)

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