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geshertzarmeod · 3 years

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Favorite Books of 2020

I wanted to put together a list! I read 74 new books this year, and I keep track of that on Goodreads - feel free to add or follow me if you want to see everything! I’m going to focus on the highlights, and the books that stuck with me personally in one way or another, in approximate order. Also, all but two of them (#5 and #7 on the honorable mention list) are queer/trans in some way. Links are to Goodreads, but if you’re looking to get the books, I suggest your library, the Libby app using your library, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.

The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, illus. by Ned Asta (originally published 1977). I had a hard beginning of the year and was in a work environment where my queerness was just not welcomed or wanted. I read this in the middle of all of that, and it helped me so much. I took this book with me everywhere. I read it on planes. I read it on the bus, and on trains, and at shul. I showed it to friends... sometimes at shul, or professional development conferences. It healed my soul. Now I can’t find it and might get a new copy. When I reviewed it, in February, I wrote: “I think we all need this book right now, but I really needed this book right now. Wow. This book is magic, and brings back a sense of magic and beauty to my relationship with the world.” Also I bought my copy last July, in a gay bookstore on Castro St. in SF, and that in itself is just beautiful to me. (Here’s a post I made with some excerpts)

Once & Future duology, especially the sequel, Sword in the Stars, by A.R. Capetta and Cory McCarthy. Cis pansexual female King Arthur Ari Helix (she's the 42nd reincarnation and the first female one) in futuristic space with Arab ancestry (but like, from a planet where people from that area of earth migrated to because, futuristic space) works to end Future Evil Amazon.com Space Empire with her found family with a token straight cis man and token white person. Merlin is backwards-aging so he's a gay teenager with a crush and thousands of years of baggage. The book’s entire basis is found family, and it's got King Arthur in space. And the sequel hijacks the original myth and says “fuck you pop culture, it was whitewashed and straightwashed, there were queer and trans people of color and strong women there the whole time.” Which is like, my favorite thing to find in media, and a big part of why I love Xena so much. It’s like revisionist history to make it better except it’s actually probably true in ways. Anyway please read these books but also be prepared for an absolutely absurd and wild ride. Full disclosure though, I didn’t love the first book so much, it’s worth it for the sequel!

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum. This book hurt. It still hurts. But it was so good. It took me on a whole journey, and brought me to my destination just like it intended the whole time. The author’s note at the end made me cry! The sheer NEED from this book, the way the main relationship develops and shifts, and how you PERCEIVE the main relationship develops and shifts. I’m in awe of Ancrum’s writing. If you like your ships feral and needy and desperate and wanting and D/S vibes and lowkey super unhealthy but with the potential, with work, to become healthy and beautiful and right, read this book. This might be another one to check trigger warnings for though.

The Entirety of The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. I hadn’t heard of this series until this year, when a good friend recommended it to me. It filled the black hole in me left by Harry Potter. The political and mystical/fantasy world building is just *chef’s kiss* - the complexity! The morally grey, everyone’s-done-awful-things-but-some-people-are-still-trying-to-do-good tapestry! The ROMANCE oh my GOD the romance. If I’m absolutely fully invested in a heterosexual romance you know a book is good, but also this book had background (and then later less background) queer characters! And the DRAMA!!! The third book went in a direction that felt a little out of nowhere but honestly I loved the ride. I stayed up until 6am multiple times reading this series and I’d do it again.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon. I loved this book so much that it’s the only book I reviewed on my basically abandoned attempt at a book blog. This book is haunting, horrifying, disturbing, dark, but so, so good. The character's voices were so specific and clear, the relationships so clearly affected by circumstance and yet loving in the ways they could be. This is my favorite portrayal of gender maybe ever, it’s just... I don’t even have the words but I saw a post @audible-smiles made about it that’s been rattling in my head since. And, “you gender-malcontent. You otherling,” as tender pillow talk??? Be still my heart. Be ready, though, this book has all the triggers.. it’s a .

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. This book called me out on my perspective on love. Also, it made me cry a lot. And it has two different interesting well-written romance storylines. And a realistic coming-into-identity narrative about a Black trans demiboy. And a nuanced discussion of college plans and what one might do after college. And some big beautiful romcom moments. I wish I had it in high school. I’m so glad I have it now! (trigger warning for transphobia & outing, but the people responsible are held accountable by the end, always treated as not okay by the narrative, and the MC’s friends, and like... this is ownvoices and it’s GOOD.)

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. My Goodreads review says, “I have no idea what happened, and I loved it.” That’s not wrong, but to delve deeper, this book has an ethereal feeling that you get wrapped up in while reading. Nothing makes sense but that’s just as it should be. You’re hooked. It is so atmospheric, so meta, so fascinating. I’ve seen so many people say they interpreted this character or that part or the ending in all different ways and it all makes sense. And it’s all of this with a gay main character and romance and the central theme, the central pillar being a love of and devotion to stories. Of course I was going to love it.

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom. “Because maybe what really matters isn’t whether something is true, or false. Maybe what matters is the story itself; what kinds of doors it opens, what kinds of dreams it brings.” This book was so good and paradigm shifting. It reminded me of #1 on this list in the way it turns real life experience and hard, tragic ones at that (in this case, of being a trans girl of color who leaves home and tries to make a life for herself in the city, with its violence), into a beautiful, haunting fable. Once upon a time.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. I need to reread this book, as I read it during my most tranceful time of 2020 and didn’t write a review, so I forgot a lot. What I do remember is beautiful and important nonbinary representation, a really cute romance, an interesting parental and familial/sibling dynamic that was both heartbreaking and hopeful, and an on-page therapy storyline. Also Mason Deaver just left twitter but was an absolutely hilarious troll on it before leaving and I appreciate that (and they just published a Christmas novella that I have but haven’t read yet!)

The Truth Is by NoNieqa Ramos. It took a long time to trust this book but I’m so glad I did. It’s raw and real and full of grief and trauma (trigger warnings, that I remember, for grief, death (before beginning of book), and gun violence). The protagonist is flawed and gets to grow over the course of the book, and find her own place, and learn from the people around her, while they also learn to understand her and where she’s coming from. It’s got a gritty, harsh, and important portrayal of found family, messy queerness, and some breathtaking quotes. When I was 82% through this book I posted this update: “This book has addressed almost all of my initial hesitations, and managed to complicate itself beautifully.”

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro. I wasn’t actually in the best mental health place to read this book when I did (didn’t quite understand what it was) but it definitely reminded me of what there is to fight against and to fight for, and broke my heart, and nudged me a bit closer to hope. The naturally diverse cast of characters was one of the best parts of this book. The romance is so sweet and tender and then so painful. This book is important and well-written but read it with caution and trigger warnings - it’s about grief and trauma and racism and police brutality, but also about love and community.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden. This is a sci-fi/fantasy/specfic mashup that takes place in near-future South Africa and has world-building myths with gods and demigoddesses and a trip to the world of the dead but also a genetically altered hallucinogenic drug that turns people into giant animals and a robot uprising and a political campaign and a transgender pop star and a m/m couple and all of them are connected. It’s bonkers. Like, so, so absolutely mind-breaking weird. And I loved it.

Crier’s War and Iron Heart by Nina Varela. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED the amount of folktales they told each other with queer romances as integral to those stories, especially in Iron Heart. A conversation between the two leads where Crier says she wants to read Ayla like a book, and Ayla says she’s not a book, and Crier explains all the different ways she wants to know Ayla, like a person, and wants to deserve to know her like a person, made me weak. It lives in my head rent-free.

Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston @ekjohnston . I listened to this book on Libby and then immediately listened to it at least one more time, maybe twice, before my borrow time ran out. I love Padmé, and just always wish that female Star Wars characters got more focus and attention and this book gave me that!! And queer handmaidens! And the implication that Sabé is in love with Padmé and that’s just something that will always be true and she will always be devoted and also will make her own life anyway. And the Star Wars audiobooks being recorded the way they are with background sounds and music means it feels like watching a really long detailed beautiful Star Wars movie just about Padmé and her handmaidens.

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by Jacob Tobia. I needed to read this. The way Tobia talks about their experience of gender within the contexts of college, college leadership, and career, hit home. I kept trying to highlight several pages in a row on my kindle so I could go back and read them after it got returned to the library (sadly it didn’t work - it cuts off highlights after a certain number of characters). The way they talk about TOKENISM they way they talk about the responsibilities of the interviewer when an interviewee holds marginalized identities especially when no one else in the room does!!! Ahhhh!!!

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie. Disclaimer for this one that the author was rightfully criticized for writing a Black main character as a white author (and how the story ended up playing into some fucked up stuff that I can’t really unpack without spoiling). But also, the author has been working to move forward knowing she can’t change the past, has donated her proceeds, and this book is really good? It has all the fanfic tropes, so much delicious tension, a totally unexpected plot twist that had me immediately rereading the book. This book was super fun and also kind of just really really good Star Wars fanfiction.

How To Be a Normal Person by T.J. Klune. This book was so sweet, and cute, and hopeful, and both ridiculous and so real. I had some trouble getting used to Gus’ voice and internal monologue, but I got into it and then loved every bit after. The ace rep is something I’ve never seen like this before (and have barely read any ace books but still this was so fleshed out and well rounded and not just like, ‘they’re obsessed with swords not sex’ - looking at you, Once & Future - and leaving it there.) This all felt like a slice of life and I feel like I learned about people while reading it. Some of the moments are so, so funny, some are vaguely devastating. I have been personally victimized by TJ Klune for how he ends this book (a joke, you will know once you read it) but it also reminds me of the end of the “You Are There” episode of Xena and we all know what the answer to that question was.... and I choose to believe the answer here was similar.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. I wish I had this book when I was in high school. I honestly have complicated feelings about prom and haven’t really been seeking out contemporary YA so I was hesitant to read this but it was so good and so well-written, and had a lot of depth to it. The movie (and Broadway show) “The Prom” wants what this book has.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. I never read horror books, so this was a new thing for me. I loved the feeling of this book, the way I felt fully immersed. I loved how entirely queer it was. I was interested in the characters and the relationships, even though we didn’t have a full chance to go super deep into any one person but rather saw the connections between everyone and the way the stories matched up with each other. I just wanted a bit of a more satisfying ending.

Honorable Mention: reread in 2020 but read for the first time pre-2020

Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I couldn’t make this post without mentioning this book. It got me through this year. I love this book so much; I think of this book all the time. This book made me want to find love for myself. You’ve all heard about it enough but if you haven’t read this book what are you DOING.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan @sarahreesbrennan . I reread this one over and over too, both as text and as an audiobook. I went for walks when I had lost my earbuds and had Elliott screaming about an elf brothel loudly playing and got weird looks from someone walking their dog. I love this book so much. It’s just so fun, and so healing to read a book reminiscent of all the fantasies I read as a kid, but with a bi main character and a deconstruction of patriarchy and making fun of the genre a bit. Also, idiots to lovers is a great trope and it’s definitely in this book.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book is forever so important to me. I am always drawn in by how tenderly Sáenz portrays his characters. These boys. These boys and their parents. I love them. I love them so much. This is another one where I don’t even know what to say. I have more than 30 pages in my tag for this book. I have “arda” set as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and laptop to turn into the full title. This book saved my life.

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book hurts to read - it’s a story about trauma, about working through that trauma, healing enough to be ready to hold the worst memories, healing enough to move through the pain and start to make a life. It’s about found family and love and pain and I love it. It’s cathartic. And it’s a little bit quietly queer in a beautiful way, but that’s not the focus. Look up trigger warnings (they kind of are spoilery so I won’t say them here but if you have the potential to be triggered please look them up or ask me before reading)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine. When asked what my all time favorite book is, it’s usually this one. Gail Carson Levine has been doing live readings at 11am since the beginning of the pandemic shut down in the US, and the first book she read was Ella Enchanted. I’ve been slowly reading it to @mssarahpearl and am just so glad still that it has the ability to draw me in and calm me down and feels like home after all this time. This book is about agency. I love it.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman @chronicintrovert . I’ve had this on my all-time-faves list since I read it a few years ago and ended up rereading it this year before sending a gift copy to a friend, so I could write little notes in it. It felt a little different reading it this time - as I get further away from being a teenager myself, the character voice this book is written in takes a little longer to get used to, but it’s so authentic and earnest and I love it. I absolutely adore this book about platonic love and found family and fandom and mental illness and abuse and ace identity and queerness and self-determination, especially around college and career choices. Ahhh. Thank you Alice Oseman!!!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray @claudiagray . I have this one on audible and reread it several times this year. I love the fleshing out of Leia’s story before the original trilogy, I love her having had a relationship before Han, and the way it would have affected her perspective. I also am intrigued by the way it analyses the choices the early rebellion had to make... I just, I love all the female focused new Star Wars content and the complexity being brought to the rebellion.

#red white and royal blue #aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe #osemanverse #star wars #queer books #lgbtq books #books #alice oseman #miri personal #wow this took so long but was so worth it!#long post #book recs #PS: if you've read any of these or have questions about any of these books #this is your formal invitation to talk to me about them!!!! even if i don't know you at all!#even if i don't follow you and even if you don't follow me!#my ask box is open anon is on!#original content

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connan-l · 3 years

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All right, so now that I finally digested the final a little I have some random messy thoughts about Fruits Basket 2019. It got really long lol, but this has been stuck in my head for a while so I needed to get it out!

Honestly, it was a very good adaptation and I’m still in awe I was able able to see the whole manga animated. Fruits Basket is pretty important to me, as I read it for the first time when I was around twelve and it was definitely one of the series that impacted me the most — the way it tackles themes of cycle of abuse, loneliness, grief and moving forward still feel very special to me even now (I briefly wrote a post about it months ago after rereading the manga), so of course I was delighted upon hearing the reboot announced and for the most part, it didn’t disappoint. I’d never truly thought I’d be able to see characters like Rin or Machi actually move on screen in my lifetime so in a way it still feel surreal lmao (RIP to Komaki though). It was really refreshing to revisit the story in that way, especially given amusingly enough I am myself in the middle of some big changes in my life where I have to leave things behind so it felt sort of... well, I won’t say empowering per se, but quite encouraging and satisfying to watch Furuba, and especially its final, at this timing, in a way. It wasn’t perfect, there are certainly a lot of flawed directive choices that I question and unfortunately quite some important cut contents — but even at its lowest it stayed all in all good. I’m genuinely a bit stunned there are people who thinks the entire thing is worthless or a failure, because man, I have seen what a bad anime adaptation looks like, and Fruits Basket 2019 definitely isn’t one. Natsuki Takaya herself was clearly very invested and satisfied in that adaptation — I mean, just the fact she drew arts for every single episodes or for the season 3 ending really shows that I think. And while there’s a part of me who will always have a soft spot for the 2001 anime, there’s no contest that the 2019 one is the superior one and more representative of the original manga as a whole.

I believe some people really don’t realize how... uncommon it is to get such a consistently good-looking and complete anime adaptation for a shojo manga? Shojo really aren’t lucky in that prospect usually; they rarely get animated, and when they do they’re usually very bland or outright bad, or they get one short season of like 13 episodes that never receive any follow-ups — even shojo considered like classics tend to get poor treatment, unless they’re Sailor Moon of course or a long-running magical girls franchise like Precure (and even then we could have a discussion about the way Sailor Moon’s treated compared to say Dragon Ball for example, but that’s another topic entirely). So yeah it is quite awesome we were able to get this kind of anime adaptation that covers the full manga with good quality from start to finish, and I am so, so glad it exists and that it managed to revive and makes the series so popular again. (Hopefully its success means we’ll be able to get more good anime adaptation of shojo manga from now on!)

But yeah, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t problems with it and I also understand why some of the manga fans had issues. We were kind of hyped with the fact this would be a complete adaptation and in the end we only got a... sort-of-complete one lol. The art and animation stayed fine during the run (there certainly were some episodes that were uhhh, lacking in that sense, but that’s just how it is sometimes with productions and budget), but I admit I was a bit letdown regarding the direction, where it often seemed… a bit uncreative or heavy-handed. There was some very beautiful and smart shots here and there, but on the whole I really had an issue with the adaptation failing to actually take more ambitious decisions on its visual aspect, especially compared to the pretty pannelling of the manga — and when it did take these decisions it just was… kind of obnoxious and in-your-face, like the show is trying to hold the watcher’s hand (with unnecessary things like Kyo’s father record player derailing or the whole big ropes symbolizing the curse that often slapped you all over the screen, which usually just made me want to roll my eyes because of how annoying it felt.) Multiple people also pointed out the overdramatization of some scenes like the Kyo and Tohru’s confrontation at the end of season 1 or Akito and Ren’s fight which was, indeed, not very good and a weird choice. Fruits Basket is already a pretty dramatic show and these scenes are already intense, there was no need for such over-the-top theatrical display of emotions that only made them comes off as comedic. I’m probably nitpicking here but it also bothered me some characters’ expressions didn’t feel properly retranscribed (Shigure especially, whose characterization depends a lot on that, really suffered from this), or that odd habit of making some big panorama plans instead of focusing on the faces and bodies, which particularly sucks during emotional scenes (like the backgrounds were pretty I guess, but that’s not what was important here lmao).

Also that might be just a personal thing, but can I point out that the openings were pretty disappointing to me... They're not bad, but they all looked so... bland. The songs are fine but the rest feel so uninspired and it's kind of sad... I dunno, I wasn't asking for much but I just think they could've done more than just scrolling each character looking vaguely melancholic or making them walk randomly one after another :/ The endings have at least pretty illustrations and I'm okay with them (I liked what they did with Kyoko’s photo in season 3 too), but the OPs kind of feel as if they ran out of budget and ideas for them or something. I kind of feel the same with the OST as well, where they’re generally fine but were a bit lackluster, and sometimes… they were kind of played at bad times? I remember the Rin episode in season 2 were the music felt a bit out of place and took me out of the immersion, which is a shame cause it was otherwise a pretty good episode. But that might just be a me-thing here lol. The voice actors were awesome though! (The Japanese ones, at least, I didn’t watch any other dubs). I’ve said it before but special kudos to Maaya Sakamoto cause damn she’s so perfect as Akito, and Shimazaki as Yuki and Toyosaki as Rin truly delivered too. I didn’t know Manaka Iwami at all but I was really impressed by her Tohru, especially in season 3 — she really was good at capturing her character’s subtle emotional turmoils (I think she makes a better Tohru than Yui Horie too, although I admit I missed Horie a little lol.)

Anyway, on the topic of lack of ambition, that might be an unpopular opinion but there’s also the fact that I’m sad they didn’t actually... try to change or add more original scenes. By which I mean, obviously we had some changes, but not ones that were really interesting (when they’re not actively detrimental to the story). For example, I was really hoping that we’d be able to get at least one original episode focused on Ritsu (and Mitsuru too why not) in season 2 or 3, or on Kagura or Kisa; I dunno, it would’ve been a good occasion to give something more to the characters that got sidelined in the original manga, or add some moments that would’ve been nice to develop like about Akito post-cliff confrontation, but we never got that. And well, that makes sense now that we know they seemingly had an episode restriction (at least on season 3), but, yeah, that’s still a shame. Honestly in the end Ritsu’s character made even less sense in the anime, because like, it was nice they tried to adapt his introduction episode so that it feels less “you have to adapt to gender norms to feel better about yourself,” (the gender non-confirmity is definitely one of the bits that aged the less well in FB) but then they still made him cut off his hair and give his feminine clothes to Kagura at the end so why lol. (And speaking of his episode introduction, I dislike that they cut off his conversation with Tohru after the suicide attempt, not only for Ritsu but also for Tohru cause it is one of the small instances bringing up her issues that is set up early on and that is crucial to her, but I’ll come back to this later.)

And now about the biggest problem to me being, the cut content and episodes rearangement. So, just so we’re clear, I definitely don’t think an anime adaptation needs to be a page-by-page adaptation of the manga to be good. Every decent adaptation needs to have changes, and the ones that tries to just follow the source material without any heart often tend to get pretty bad. So changes are good! Cut content are needed sometimes. But in Furuba 19, it really... wasn’t the case.

And the most unfortunate thing being that the one suffering the most from this is the show’s main character herself, Tohru.

So, obviously other characters also got done dirty by this; Yuki and Machi’s relationship was so incredibly shifted in the background and rushed it’s almost funny. I’m one of the people who thinks that, while I do think they’re cute, I definitely agree on the fact their relationship was a bit underdeveloped in the manga — and that Machi’s character especially suffered as a result by being a bit reduced to just "Yuki’s love interest" when she was a character with so much more to offer (and as a whole I also tend to agree with the fact that Yuki probably didn’t need a romance at all and that his arc is more meaningful while focusing on his platonic relationships, but that’s another topic entirely) — but man, if the manga already underdevelopped them, then ohhh boy, the anime just completely dropped the ball. It feels very odd because to me it seemed like season 2 was taking their time with setting them up, so if they knew they had only 13 episodes for season 3 then they should’ve started the changes there; instead we got 1 nice Yuki/Machi/Kakeru episode, and then it’s like "Yep, they’re in love, just trust me." (It does makes me wonder if season 3 wasn’t originally supposed to be longer but then got restrained because of budget or covid or something…) Kakeru also very much suffered because of them cutting off his girlfriend and his complicated relationship with Tohru… Now, to be honest, I’ve always found the Kakeru/Komaki/Tohru subplot pretty... contrived and useless, and Komaki’s not so much a character more than a device for Kakeru’s development, but it does have some good moments relevant to the story’s themes (I like the ‘‘you can’t play suffering olympics with people’s pain’’morale) and it is important to his character (and Komaki is cute, I admit), so it was still sad they shafted it entirely. (Also I kind of like the tense relationship between Tohru and Kakeru. The fact they both seem to not appreciate each other even afterwards feel sort of refreshing even if it’s never explored unfortunately orz.) I was still surprised they didn’t actually try to make a Komaki cameo at the end? Cause I think it would’ve fitted and Kakeru’s girlfriend had already been mentioned in season 2 but... for some reason they... didn’t. (Mayyybe we’ll get an OAV like with Kyoko and Katsuya? Who knows.)

One scene that was skipped/rearranged that I’m very bitter over is the whole Tohru/Kagura confrontation and Kagura/Rin scene — it might not seem like much, but the moment of Tohru refusing to forgive Kagura is very important, and I was pretty annoyed they turned Rin’s trauma response to Kagura’s violence and her subsequent apology/hug to a gag, it legit felt tasteless. The Tohrin scene they removed at the very end too was frustating; it was great they managed to fit in the "Rin doesn’t want to forgive Akito" bit at least (I was afraid they’d cut it off entirely), but it was so essential for her to say to Tohru, not to Haru and Momiji (plus the way they put it in felt very random and awkwardly placed there, when they were initially talking about Tohru before orz). OH AND the Akito/Hana friendship too! Yeah I know it’s not a Big deal but I absolutely love the little glimpses of their friendship and it’s very important to me so I’m disappointed over them not including the ‘Ah-chan’ scene… (It was kind of weird that the show sort-of implied Hana and Kazuma got together too cause that’s… not the vibe at all from the manga… oh well.)

Most people I’ve seen generally only bring up season 3 regarding the cuts/rearangement because it’s the most obvious and the biggest offender, but I personally think there were already problems with season 2 and 1. At first glance I didn’t have much issue with some of the rearrangement, because early Furuba can indeed be pretty episodic, but thinking back on it as a whole I think it might’ve been better to leave some stuff, like Hana and Uo’s episodes for example, to season 2 (I do wonder if they did this specifically so the reboot would offer original content and differ from 2001 early on...) and cut off other not-so-important things from S1 & S2 — because as a result season 2 kind of suffer a bit by being The Yuki Season, which, for as much as I love Yuki, did end up being a bit annoying and made his development feel less natural and gradual, as well as the fact it sidelined the other characters a little and left them with not much conclusion in its final. So this added to how much they ended up cutting in season 3, it makes the show as a whole feels really unequal. I think they did overall a good job in season 3 with what they had, and they really nailed some of the dramatic and Kyoru moments (the sheets scene, cliff confrontation and post-hospital confession were practically perfect), but it is a shame that it ended up as an extremely marathoned emotional roller-caster rather than a more well-paced watch that we would’ve had if it had been 20 or so episodes. (I know others argued that season 3 was what it was because there wasn’t enough content left to cover for 22 or 24 episodes, but I disagree and even if there weren’t, it would’ve been the perfect occasion to add original episodes then. But I think it was more of a budget and Covid issue personally.)

But anyway, all of this isn’t actually what I’m the most annoyed with (and YES that’s a already a lot lmao), those are stuff I can live with, but like I said earlier the most problematic is what they cut off from Tohru’s character. And that indeed includes her parents’ backstory.

So, just so I get this out of the way; yes, I do understand why people were relieved to not see Kyoko and Katsuya’s relationship play out on screen, and yes the age gap and teacher-student thing is creepy and I do kind of wish it hadn’t been written that way. (Though I was a bit amused by people who thought we didn’t get the backstory because of the questionable age gap when, uh... you know I very much doubt the anime industry has an issue with that. Like, to start with, we wouldn’t have had Uo and Kureno’s romance if that was the case (even if Uo and Kureno is less problematic, it’s still the same basis of a underage high school girl/20+ adult man relationship), and second there was a literal romcom anime about a high school girl and an adult man that was broadcasted at the same time as Furuba season 3 lmao. So nah, it wasn’t there the problem to them, it was just time and episode restriction, which was pretty much confirmed with the announcement of the OAV focused on them.)

So, Kyoko and Katsuya is definitely Problematic and I agree on their relationship being uncomfortable; however, I’m a bit baffled that people were literally cheering on not having that part in the show, because it is... it is not just like a small bit of family trivia, it is Extremely important and actively essential to Tohru’s character and Fruits Basket’s themes and narrative as a whole. It’s very important to understand Kyoko’s character, of course; to humanize her and finally present her as a very flawed person and not just the idealized mother that Tohru project upon her, and it is extremely important simply to understand Tohru herself as well; to understand where her way of thinking, her trauma and attitude stems from, and this in a way that just isn’t possible to see with the little fragments of that flashback we got or the bits of Kyo and Kyoko’s interactions.

See, Tohru’s character is principally constructed around two things; her grief over her mother and her almost-pathological selflesness and people-pleaser needs that comes from her abandonment issues and loneliness, and her arc is very much about letting go of both of these things and finally moving forward and letting her life change. There’s this perception of Tohru I see sometimes that she’s not a very interesting character especially compared to others like Yuki or Kyo, or that she ‘‘stays the same kindhearted, naive girl from start to finish,’’ and while I deeply disagree with this I know where it comes from. The thing with Tohru is that she is firstly an extremely emotionally repressed character, and so a lot of her depth and development is made through small, gradual details scattered throughout the manga. It’s done in such a way that except for some obvious scenes those small, apparently insignificant moments are easy to miss or disregarded, and unfortunately it is a lot of these details that the 2019 anime cut, or rearanged in a way that feel less impactful or makes less sense; such as, like I pointed out earlier, her conversation with Ritsu after his suicide attempt. As I’ve seen others point out, this result in altering Tohru’s portrayal and rendering her character mostly about her romance, undercutting and downplaying all of her small, subtle character moments and developments, and miss a bit the second part of the story where the narrative actively challenge the ‘savior/therapist/mom’ that other characters and Tohru herself projected upon her.

And as a result it also means undermining things like her parallel and relationship to Akito, which idealistically should’ve been slowly built up throughout the last season but because of how rushed season 3 was in the end felt a little flat. (Akito’s character in general had some issues also because of the unequal pacing and rearranged scenes, though admittedly I think this was also an issue present in the original manga.) Kyo’s character and his romance with Tohru is the one element that managed to get out of this mostly unscathed (although Kyo also does suffer a bit from it), but because of what was removed from Tohru’s character it still inevitably impacted them by making their characters as individuals lacking. It’s not like it is a complete failure, mind you; I think the anime at least did a decent job at showing Tohru is Not Okay even at the beginning in season 1 (they certainly did a better job at it than the 2001 one lol) and managed to roughly portray her issues well enough overall, but it is just… lacking in the subtlety and nuances that, to me, makes her character and writing really special and unique.

(This post explains what I’ve tried to say here in a much more eloquent and better way that I ever could, and this all put into perspective what I basically love so much about Tohru and Fruits Basket in general.)

And, you know, it would’ve been sad but comprehensible with any other character, but here we’re talking about the story’s literal protagonist, which is why it is the part of the adaptation that makes me feel the most bitter. Tohru and her story is truly amazing and well-written, the thing I was looking forward to the most with this reboot — and while I do understand the episode restriction and I do believe they still did their best with what they had — her arc still deserved to receive a full proper adaptation, not a kind-of-half one.

So, yes, I am at least glad they’ll adapt Kyoko and Katsuya’s story in OAV, but the fact that it will never be included in the actual main narrative is still actively detrimental to it, and it will never have the same effect that if it had been played out before the Kyoru sheets scene where it should’ve been. (I hope they also won’t cut the fact that their story is narrated by Kyo, because that is also a very important detail for both Kyo and the story, but I have the feeling they will…)

Welp, that was quite a long, messy rambling. Not sure if anyone will actually read all of it but if you did then congrats lol. I feel in the end I’ve been really harsh and negative with the reboot… I do love it a lot! If someone asked me I would wholeheartedly recommend it (though I guess I would still argue to read the manga first if you really want to experience the story in all its nuances). I think they truly did an impressive job — even with season 3, which a lot of its episodes were beautifully done and did make me tear up a few times lol. I’m just sad it couldn’t actually offer a better, more nuanced delivery of the story’s depths and of one of my favorite manga protagonists that means a lot to me. But that’s an adaptation that so many fans wanted for years and I’m happy and grateful it’s here cause Fruits Basket deserved at least that much!

#Fruits Basket #Fruits Basket (2019)#Long Post #Connan's Ramblings #Text #Fruits Basket Anime

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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i feel like jian yi uses emotion to influence zhan zheng xi's decision. when he talks about his sexuality he is either crying or on the verge of crying which i think softens zhan zhengxi's attitude towards him. i don't get people that are saying zhan zheng xi is demisexual and not interested in girls at all and when his only encounter with girls is xiao hui? who is his stalker. it is very natural for zhan zheng xi to dislike her. i feel like jian yi is very manipulative.

Good evening, dear anon-san!

Before we get any further, I got your another ask that it’s okay if I won’t answer your question. I’m not sure why you felt that way but you had gone through the big trouble of writing your thoughts, so I want to try and give you mine. Also, I don’t talk about Zhanyi too often, so I don’t want to pass chances when people give me a nudge to do so. Anyway, I hope you won’t mind I decided to answer your ask.

You had a lot of things to talk about, so I thought I would give my thoughts some structure by picking up some overall themes.

A bit of a TL;DR: I imagine your interpretation of Jian Yi’s character is very much of an unpopular opinion. And I’m afraid I won’t be agreeing with it very much because I have always read him and his relationship with Zhan Zheng Xi quite differently. That being said, though, I do want to applaud your courage to share your views with us. It makes me feel privileged that you feel comfortable enough with me to be open about your opinions.

Zhan Zheng Xi and Xiao Hui

Let’s start this with perhaps the easiest topic: XH having a crush on ZZX. It’s true she didn’t really hide her feelings for ZZX. She tried to muster up enough courage to deliver her confession letter many times and also approached him directly. However, it was clear ZZX was bothered and felt uncomfortable by her affections. (ch. 51, 52, 98, 99. 102, and 156)

She was quite persistent and forward, but I don’t think she deserves to be called a stalker. Not even close. I think we’re forgetting that middle school is that awkward time in life when it’s starting to be noticeable that girls develop faster than boys. Girls of that age can actually be very open about their crushes while boys feel embarrassed, bothered, and annoyed by them. Nor are boys really interested quite yet. I think that’s very much apparent in ZZX and XH’s case.

A short storytime. When I was in middle school (about 12-13 years old) I had the most intense crush on this boy in my class. My very soul was consumed by how much in love I was with him. And I had no problem being open about it, either; I gave him birthday and Christmas cards publically, forced him to write on my friends book, and overall was quite pushy with him. He never returned my passionate feelings but was rather annoyed, embarrassed and disgusted by them. After two years, my feelings passed. Was I a stalker, though? I don’t think so.

So, yes, it was very understandable and realistic for ZZX to be bothered by XH’s advances but I wouldn’t brand her as a “stalker” and make too direct conclusions about their relationship. Rather I think that’s how it usually goes in that age.

Jian Yi and Xiao Hui’s letter

Overall, JY was in a very difficult position when he found out about XH’s feelings for ZZX. On one hand, he was very much in love with ZZX, and it had been his most precious secret that he’s both wanted to confess and hide. Worst case scenario, his romantic feelings might end their childhood friendship or put them in a position where others could easily discriminate and bash them. On the other hand, XH’s advances put pressure on JY and painfully remind him that it’s not as simple for him to confess and be open about his crush. I have always sympathized with him because being in that position can be very painful and conflicting. (100, 101)

I mean, imagine someone asked you to deliver a confession letter to the person you have been in love with for years. Can you imagine how crushing that would feel? A big part of me, at least, would certainly think my crush was doomed. And it was obvious JY struggle between doing the right thing and doing what his heart wanted to.

When JY agreed to give ZZX her letter on the condition that she won’t come near him, I think that was the most manipulative JY got in that whole story (ch. 100):

And I don’t think even that was very successful. He told her to stay away but... what was the endgame? Was JY’s plan to make her believe he had given ZZX the letter and prevent her from finding out the truth by telling her to keep her distance? But at some point, she would have grown anxious and approached ZZX again, right? The truth would certainly have come out eventually.

I think he hadn’t thought it through at all but rather that “don’t come near him” plan was a desperate attempt to buy some time. I don’t see that as JY trying to isolate ZZX in a toxic way at all but rather him trying to prolong the inevitable. His feelings for ZZX never had the same promise of a future as XH’s feelings - and straight love, in general.

Also, let’s not forget that JY did end up giving ZZX the letter despite his own difficult position (ch. 102):

What ZZX said made him realize it wouldn’t be right for JY to decide things for him. He couldn’t advance his own goals that way and feel good about it. But at the same time, giving ZZX that letter put JY’s feelings at a big risk. Basically, JY came close to watching the person he loved returning someone else’s feelings. I’m not sure I could have done the same if I had been JY, and I bet many of us would have struggled to make up our minds, too. Would that make us toxic manipulators, though?

Xiao Hui’s letter exposed

XH’s confession letter being exposed to everybody was a messy situation for all parties. It exposed so many private and vulnerable feelings for anyone to see and make fun of. And usually, the more we want to protect something inside us, the stronger we react when it’s either exposed or poked at.

Even if I don’t really see JY worrying about ZZX’s reputation as a bad thing or something problematic, I have always wondered about that part (ch. 158):

It always seemed like an odd thing to worry about in that situation to me. But I suppose he just didn’t want ZZX to become the center of gossiping. People were making fun of the letter and both its writer and who it was addressed to. Again, romance is quite a tender topic at that age, especially publically. To be involved in those kinds of things - even involuntarily - would most probably put you in the kind of awkward position that you can never quite live down. So, yeah, even if my center of worries wouldn’t probably be protecting ZZX’s reputation, I still get where JY was coming from.

I also suppose JY didn’t want XH’s crush to be public knowledge because it made his situation that more difficult and an uphill battle. The rumors and gossips would stoke and contribute to the overall rhetoric that ZZX has a girlfriend or that he’s popular among girls. But again, I don’t really see that line of thinking as manipulative. I don’t think he was pretending to be sad or trying to provoke XH to make her look bad in ZZX’s eyes. I’m sure I would have felt somewhat the same in his situation, actually.

However, I do agree that readers (if that’s what you meant by “people”) were too eager to brand XH as a problematic homophobe and hate her guts. What she said was wrong and hurtful but still not that surprising (ch. 158):

She had been publically humiliated and her feelings had been made of by everyone. She was hurt and embarrassed, and when JY blamed her she lashed out and threw the easiest and most obvious insult she could think of. I don’t think it’s fair to judge her whole character based on one moment when she was so vulnerable and humiliated.

What comes to ZZX, I don’t think it was a case of him conveniently walking in when JY had been bashed by XH and him judging the situation wrongly (JY as the victim and XH the villain). The way ZZX handled the situation tells us that he could see behind the emotional escalation and recognized the pain both JY and XH were suffering (ch. 158 and 159):

He understood XH had poked a very vulnerable spot with her “disgusting gay” remark and why JY had gotten upset. Not long ago before the letter incident, he had seen how insecure JY was about his feelings for someone of the same sex and how scared he was of being rejected because of it. It was the last thing JY wanted people to talk about out loud but also where you could hurt him the most.

But ZZX also realized the situation XH was in and why she had lashed out. He was very gentle with her and treated her feelings with respect despite turning them down. He saw his own little sister in her, not a villain or a bad person. I’m sure his reaction would have been vastly different if he had thought XH was out to deliberately hurt JY.

Jian Yi’s orientation and manipulation

I can’t say I see JY using emotions to knowingly influence and manipulate ZZX’s decisions but I do think ZZX has an obvious soft spot for his best friend. It goes all the way back to their childhood when ZZX promised to protect him, and later JY’s special place in ZZX’s eyes is represented by the rhetoric of lifelong promises between them (ch. 97, 127, 159, 161, 169, 285):

To me, that’s pretty much the essence of ZZX’s character. He’s loyal, protective, and surprisingly comfortable being so caring. We can see him treat his little sister very similarly to how he treats JY. So, when he sees his best friend crying and thinking there’s something wrong with him because he’s different from others, it’s his second nature to comfort and reassure JY.

Overall, JY has talked about his orientation or feelings for ZZX three times in the comic so far in a way that has changed the course of the story. (If you wish to read more about how I see the Zhanyi storyline go check out my other earlier answer.) The most shocking and dramatic turning point for both of them was probably when JY’s feelings came to light for the first time (ch. 143):

I really can’t see JY being emotionally manipulative at that moment. I would say his reaction is more than understandable and realistic instead. I don’t know if you have ever had to come out to anyone about your sexual orientation, dear anon-san, but it’s always a nerve-wracking experience. I’ve told about my own bisexuality to my parents and best friend and it was insanely scary both times even if I was confident they wouldn’t have a problem with it. Despite everything, there’s always that little “what if” rattling in your head.

Now, multiply that by XXX and put yourself in JY’s raincoat. He was a teenage boy who had just kissed his lifelong best friend and couldn’t play it off as a joke. The more he tried to run and hide, the more the feelings he had buried for years poured out in a mess of tears and fragmented thoughts. I mean, we had read about how deep their friendship ran for 100+ chapters by then but I’m sure many of us were still nervous and unsure about how ZZX would react.

However, ZZX isn’t unable to set his limits even when offering comfort. I think that was apparent the second time JY’s feeling were addressed when JY was drunk and looking for something ZZX wasn’t ready to give him yet (ch. 165):

JY was genuinely very emotional and in a vulnerable place but ZZX had to reject him. I actually talked about that moment in one of my earlier answers because I have always found it interesting and complicated. JY was so insecure and afraid of ZZX rejecting him that he wanted to push the limits to find out how ZZX felt about him (both being in love with him and someone of the same sex). It almost seemed like he was tired of being anxious and kind of wanted to get it over with. But ZZX wasn’t quite there yet. He had expressed his support when it came to JY liking men but wasn’t ready for what JY was really feeling. Unfortunately, that meant he had to hurt the already vulnerable JY but the bottom line is, he did reject him. He might have a lot of affection for JY but he’s also very in tune with what he wants and isn’t ready for. That’s also a part of him being honest and loyal. If he had allowed JY to have his way, ZZX wouldn’t have been true to JY or himself.

The third and last time was when JY finally, officially confessed and - according to my interpretation - ZZX returned his feelings. Again, I don’t see JY being emotionally manipulative but there is one aspect that has always caught my attention (ch. 209):

JY says he likes ZZX so much he’s about to explode and whether it’s about their past or future, it’s always been and will always be about ZZX. This time JY’s fear of rejection manifests itself a bit differently, though. He kind of rejects his feelings himself before ZZX even says a word. He already knows ZZX isn’t happy about being loved by another guy and his best friend at that, so there’s no need for ZZX turn him down. Also, by seemingly shifting the goal of his confession (you won’t feel the same way but at least I finally said it) JY is protecting himself.

Could that behavior be taken as manipulation? I guess on some level, but I think it’s also a very natural and realistic reaction. It can be used to influence someone’s decisions but it’s also a defense mechanism. One that I - and I’m sure many others - can personally relate to very much. And I don’t see JY saying those things in that situation as a way to try and make ZZX feel sorry for him and return his feelings that way. This was the first time he was completely open and honest about his love for ZZX - confessing while looking straight into his eyes - so it’s no surprise he behaved defensively like that.

Also, I believe ZZX had already made up his mind about what his answer would be before he even asked the question. He had reached his resolve and was comfortable with it. All he needed was for JY to say the words out loud.

Jian Yi, Mo Guan Shan, and He Tian’s money

Okay, the last topics! This was something you only briefly mentioned but I felt like they supported your view on JY that already differed quite a lot from mine, so I thought I would give my two cents about these, too.

I think JY is exactly the kind of friend Mo Guan Shan desperately needed when he was falsely accused of assaulting that girl. In fact, JY is the kind of friend all of us should have: someone who won’t hesitate to stand up for us. Because I don’t think “anyone would have done the same thing” for MGS. Actually, that’s why She Li picked him as the scapegoat in the first place (ch. 178, 186, and 184):

Not only did SL take advantage of knowing MGS was a social outcast at school and people were prejudiced against him so no one would even doubt the things said about him but he also knew MGS didn’t have the kind of friends who would step in. He Tian most certainly was one of them, but so was JY the way he didn’t hesitate to barge into the office and loudly demand justice for MGS (ch. 185):

Let’s remember, when the assault case was going on HT, JY and ZZX were the only ones defending MGS. Not even the teachers seemed to think “innocent until proven guilty” or even entertain the thought that MGS might not have done it.

What comes to JY talking about HT having a lot of money (or being rich or poor in general), I think it’s just a part of him being cheeky and the kind of humor 19 Days has. JY’s character has this obliviously and unapologetically immature side that can be a bit annoying at first but soon becomes one of his most lovable features. I never took this side of him as an offense but rather him just being a 15-year-old boy among other teenage boys that will fire back just the same (ch. 258, 296, 298, 301, and 310):

JY doesn’t really have a filter and he likes to brag a little when, for once, he’s in that kind of position, but there’s no true malice in his words.

A few quick notes that I won’t get into deeper than this:

I don’t know about ZZX being demisexual but overall BL does seem to have this trend of making male protagonists fall in love with each other without identifying as LGBT. BL has been criticized for this because it’s a way to avoid talking about the fact that men who are attracted to other men are, in fact, gay (or bi). In many BL stories, the protagonists are portrayed as straight and them falling for a guy is just special circumstances and they’re gay for just that one guy. And while I don’t personally have a major problem with it, I can’t deny it feels a bit of a cop-out. Does Zhanyi fall into that category? On some level, I guess, but it’s also too early to say. The boys are just figuring out who they are as individuals, so JY, for example, identifying as gay might be said out loud one day. Don’t think that will ever happen in ZZX’s case, though.

I also don’t think JY is trying to isolate ZZX from other people. Now that he’s more secure regarding ZZX’s feelings for himself and their relationship, he’s even included XH to their group.

Phew!

Was that all? I think that was at least the most of it, if not all. If you think I skipped something or would like me to elaborate on something, let me know!

As I warned you in the beginning, I ended up disagreeing with the majority of your interpretation. Hopefully, I wasn’t too harsh with my wording or ways of putting things. Even if our views were pretty much the opposite to each other, your thoughts prompted me to look at JY’s character and Zhanyi from a new perspective. And that’s always a good thing. Thank you again for that opportunity and for sharing your interpretations with us, dear anon-san!

#zhanyi #Jian Yi #Zhan zheng xi #19 days #answered ask

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grrlinthefireplace · 5 years

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Hey so I’ve been seeing you post a lot about La Casa de Papel recently. What exactly is it? It looks kinda interesting.

Thank you so much for asking!

I am delighted beyond reason to have the opportunity to tell you - and by extension the entire world - why this show has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and legitimately healed my soul after this particularly soul-crushing season of Grimdark White Man Television almost broke me as a human being.

I will attempt to keep this as spoiler-free as I possibly can, because this is a show that should be experienced in the moment, but in a nutshell, La Casa de Papel is a heist show set in present-day Madrid which follows both a found family of thieves who rob the Royal Mint of Spain, and the law enforcement officials on the outside who are chasing them.

If that is enough for you, go right to your TV or computer, fire up the ol’ Netflix, and don’t waste any more time.

If, however, you need a little more, here are the top five things I flail about to every single person in my life to convince them they need to start watching this show like immediately and then come back and tell me all about it.

For visual flair, we’ll intersperse them with some gifs of ladies, because I know my audience.

5. character driving plot > plot driving character.

You know that infuriating thing lazy TV writers do where, in order to to hurry up and get to the big explosion or battle scene or dragon attack or whatever, which is the only bit they really care about, they handwave away the whole concept of motivation and make some character do something that any halfway-attentive viewer will immediately clock that they would never actually do?

There is none of that bullshit here.

In its simplest form, the plot of La Casa de Papel is as follows: a brilliant criminal mastermind devises a heist which cannot possibly go wrong, and then we proceed to watch all the ways in which it goes wrong.

This is a fantastic setup for an action story, made even more breathlessly exciting by strategic use of my favorite heist movie plot device (as perfected by Ocean’s Eleven): namely, “scene where it looks like our crime heroes have been outsmarted and are now threatened by a completely unforeseen disaster” immediately followed by “flashback to the team prepping for the heist where we learn that of course they prepared for this exact scenario.”

But from time to time, things do actually go wrong (as they must, or else there would be no story); and, when they do, it is never because you can tell a writer just wanted to write a scene where bullets go flying, and didn’t care how he got there. These characters are so clear, their behavior so consistent, that when gasp-worthy plot twists happen, they happen because of course that character, in this exact scenario, would do that exact thing.

I’m telling you, I came to this show for a ship (more on that in a minute) and I stayed for a swooning, heart-eyes writer crush on the impeccably-designed plot structure and characterization.

4. High stakes, low gore.

Tone-wise, on a sliding scale of Heist Film Intensity where a really fluffy episode of Leverage is a 1, Reservoir Dogs is a 10, and the Ocean’s franchise is somewhere in the 3-4 range, I would place La Casa at a 5 or a 6, which is perfect for me. I love action, suspense, drama and adventure, but I hate gratuitous violence (especially when it’s pointless and masturbatory and doesn’t contribute anything to the plot) and have a very low tolerance for blood and gore. So I kept waiting for the story to eventually take a hard left turn into Tarantino Land, until eventually it was all just one huge pile of dead bodies, and was genuinely surprised when it didn’t.

This is how I learned just how badly my brain has been fucked up by lazy showrunners who think shock deaths are the only way to raise stakes. During the first season of this show, before I had figured out that it was a Flawless Gem of Television Which So Far Has Not Once Disappointed Me, there were probably a dozen moments where I was absolutely convinced that some character was about to be gruesomely killed for shock value … and I was wrong every single time.

Reader, it was fucking wild.

Every single time I was convinced that person A was going to shoot person B in the head because blah blah maximum angst over here in this part of the story and then it will motivate person C to do this other thing, the show did the hard work of finding a smarter, more unexpected direction to take that character’s story. That means that when deaths do come along - and there are a couple - they feel genuinely earned, and they matter deeply to the story and to us.

3. I would die for these women.

This show loves women. Like it truly, authentically, uncompromisingly loves women in all our fucked-up messy glorious complexity. There are no “types” or cliches here; no one is forced to be only one thing. Fuck your one-dimensional Strong Female Characters, lazy writers.

For one thing, on many shows you might be lucky if you get maybe one mom who is given a personality and a story outside of motherhood. Often, on shows written by men, the fact of her motherhood diminishes her strength or her agency. On this show, nearly every one of the central female characters is both a mom and an action hero simultaneously. Seriously. By season 3 there are four different battle moms. They’re all different, they’re not all on the same side, they have different perspectives, and their role as mother impacts the story differently, but that’s the joy of having a whole lot of different kinds of women - no one has to be everything to everyone.

These women are complicated. They laugh, they cry, they crack dirty jokes, they get laid, they have babies, they fight, they make mistakes, they fall in love, they grow. Men pull sexist shit and they shut it the fuck down. Some of them have love stories, some of them don’t, but they are never defined by or triangulated around relationships with men. They get to have relationships with each other. All of them are excellent at their jobs.

Tokyo is the kind of hot mess antihero protagonist we’ve been watching middle-aged white men play for decades.

Allison is such a realistic teenage girl it’s genuinely painful to watch.

Monica has one of the best arcs I’ve ever seen on television, this is not a drill.

Alicia is terrifying. (A pregnant black ops interrogator! ON WHAT OTHER FUCKING SHOW!?!??)

Nairobi is unlike any other character you’ve seen on TV before; she’s got a little bit of Parker from Leverage, a little bit of Raven Reyes from The 100, but she’s entirely her own creature and you will fall in love with her instantly.

And Raquel. Oh, my love, my angel, my hero, Inspector Raquel Murillo. Love of my goddamn life. A fierce, kickass hostage negotiator swimming upstream against a tide of workplace misogyny who sometimes has to make the frustrating little male-appeasing compromises we all have to make to get through the workday. A beautiful, sexy, powerful heroine over 40 whose femininity isn’t diminished based on some bullshit notion that, for example, pairing your tough-bitch suit and gun holster with red toenails and a lacy blouse detracts from your strength. A loving mom and daughter who has to juggle raising a small child and caring for an aging parent with the stress of, you know, trying to stop the biggest robbery in the history of Spain. A domestic violence survivor (TW for those who need it; nothing is ever shown onscreen, but it’s discussed several times) who is given the space to discuss the things that have happened to her and how she has worked through them with such dignity, accuracy and respect that you can tell the writers did their homework.

This is a show where you can tell there are women in the writers’ room.

2. The Professor and Raquel. I don’t want to spoil a single thing for you here except to say that I myself was lured into this show by the promise of electric sexual chemistry between a criminal mastermind and the police inspector hunting him down, and my God I was not disappointed.

1. Love.

This show came into my life at a period where I was so weary of cynicism on television - so fucking furious at showrunners who dangle hope in front of us and then crush it, who only care about building anything if they can tear it down later, who treat love and fun and joy and hope and family and happiness like they’re intellectually lesser than grimdark nihilism with no soul - that I was honestly kind of broken by it. I was just so. fucking. tired. Tired of “the way we show this heroine is strong is to kill off her love interest.” Tired of “sorry but all this rape and murder is NECESSARY because of REALISM” (particularly rich when coming from shows featuring evil A.I.’s or dragons and ice zombies). Tired of getting invested in relationships - whether ships or friends or found families - only to realize that the show I was watching was always going to sacrifice character to force plot mechanics into place, and those relationships were never going to get the kind of care and focus I wanted them to get.

But that is not this show.

The single most revolutionary thing, to me, about La Casa de Papel - the thing that sets it apart from every other rollercoaster action thrill ride on television - is that every single thread of the plot is tied to love.

Every.

Single.

One.

Love of all different shapes and sizes - parents and children, friendships, doomed crushes (straight and queer), toxic exes, blossoming romances, siblings - and over it all, a deep, deep love for humanity.

The thing I said before, about how when things go wrong they go wrong in character-driven ways? It’s this. Love is why everything on this show happens. Love is what makes children want to live up to their parents and what makes parents fight to leave a better world for their children. Love is why deaths have stakes. Love is why we spend so much screentime lingering on small moments another show might ignore, like all the thieves at heist camp sitting down every night to have dinner together and argue about paella techniques. Love is what causes chaos in the middle of the heist; when there’s one person in the room you care about more than the others, you can get distracted and take your eye off the ball. Love is how your enemies can get to you, by leveraging or blackmailing the people who matter most, knowing that you’ll crack if they’re in danger. Love, gone wrong, causes toxic men to develop possessive and controlling behavior towards women. Love is how the Professor gets the idea for the heist in the first place. The plan is flawless on paper, but it doesn’t account for the human variable, and over and over again we see that relationships and connection and sex and family and love cause people to behave in unpredictable ways and throw the whole plan into chaos, which is what makes for a dynamic and compelling story.

How refreshing to see a show simply refuse to grant the oft-repeated premise that a show cannot have both high-octane thrills, and a big soft squishy heart, at the same time.

ANYWAY, I’VE TAKEN UP ENOUGH OF YOUR VALUABLE TV-WATCHING TIME, GO JUMP ON BOARD THIS TRAIN AND COME SCREAM ABOUT IDEALISTIC SPANISH ROBIN HOODS WITH ME, AND LET THE GOOD SHIP SERQUEL INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU WON’T BE SORRY

THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

#lannister-slings-and-arrows #la casa de papel #money heist #from the inbox #i have a lot of feelings about this show #is this entire post just one long subtweet of 'the 100'#listen #maybe #i'm still pissed about kabby and will be for awhile #but legit this show was HEALING and CATHARTIC in some unexpected ways #yes virginia you CAN have functional loving stable relationships and high-stakes drama at the same time

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mirai-eats · 5 years

Text

Stray Spring:: Dance (Summer Romance)

Snufmin, 4,673 words, part 2/5

flower symbolism bc thats how i work i dont change, Fluff, Romance, so soft it hurts, Light Angst, Sickfic, Spring Deity Snufkin, little my is a demigod???

A deity borne of spring and summer can’t leave Moominvalley alone.

read on AO3

Moomin had a hard time getting himself out of bed today and that bothered him since today was an important day. Mamma didn’t scold him for stumbling down the stairs well into breakfast, but only wished him a good morning and gently told him to have those midnight adventures on days he doesn’t need to get up early.

Sniff was charged with distracting Little My and taking her up to a rural spot in Lonely Mountain where Snufkin had buried a box of rocks for her to find. Meanwhile, it was up to the Moomins and every spare hand to set up the extravagant party to celebrate the new season and Little My’s new age. Moomin didn’t know how old she was, and every time he asked something would always interrupt. He gave up asking and resorted to counting the candles on her cake.

The party was going to be lovely, Moomin thought. Long tables were set out with summer flowers and stakes with paper lanterns framed the perimeter they set up, strings of lights draped the trees and strung over their heads as an imitation of stars. Mamma was cooking with vigor in the kitchen, preparing enough food to keep the whole valley full through winter. In the meantime, Mamma had set out heaping plates of juicy, red watermelon and sweet berry juice for people setting up the party. Moomin took a few slices and ran down to Mr. Hemulen’s where Snufkin was helping him pick flowers to decorate.

“This is very delicious, thank you Moomintroll,” Snufkin said after chewing thoughtfully on the melon.

“You’re welcome, now let’s haul these over so we can get them on the tables and chairs. Little My is due back soon!”

It was no walk in the park bringing so many flowers in the wheelbarrows. It was a miracle they got them all placed in time right before they heard the large shouts of Little My coming from just beyond.

“Everyone get in place! She’s coming!” Pappa clapped his paws and on cue, everyone rushed to stand in attention, facing the hill Little My will climb to the top of and see the party waiting for her.

“Mymble isn’t here yet, what do we do?” Pappa fretted, his hat tilted askew in his frantic movement.

“She will come, it’ll be a grand surprise on top of this surprise when her mother comes,” Mamma soothed.

---

The party was going well, very well, but the Moomin’s were still eyeing the path from the beach waiting for The Mymble to arrive. She’ll come when she comes, Snufkin thought.

Snufkin didn’t want to admit it, but he was rather nervous himself. He kept to himself at the fringe of the party, in which most, if not all, of Moominvalley, showed up for. The record player Moominpappa had successfully fixed up was playing joyful tunes into the sweet, summer air as the day slowly cooled as the night struggled to blanket the horizons. This was the longest day of the year and sunset didn’t come until the party reached its peak, when the music grew the loudest and drinks splashed refill after refill into cups. Little My had stuck a little cosmo from the table display into her bun as if it were her crown and swung around in the middle of it all, her laughter loud and smile even louder.

It’s when the sun touched the tops of the forests and the sky was a rich gold with strands of rosy pink did a parade arrive. Thirty-four children with hair red like Little My’s and screams somehow louder than hers rushed from the beach trail and over to the party, in the midst of their chaos rose the imposing figure of their mother.

The Mymble was eccentric, a presence so loud and bright it’s hard to ignore, especially how she was taller than even the tallest hemulen. Her red hair was messy atop her head, where little baby’s breath flowers were scattered like sparse snow and her eyes glittered like sunshine on the greenest lake surface. The air felt sweeter in her presence, cooler like a gentle spring breeze dripping with honeysuckle petals. Little My leaped with a shout and ran into her mother’s embrace, her big arms holding her tightly to her chest. The party grew louder, more rambunctious, fit for a Little My with too much energy crammed in that very little body.

From the fringe of the party, Mymble’s eyes landed on Snufkin. This was the first time she’s seen him since he was placed in a basket and sent down the river. He tipped his hat and turned away.

---

He wasn’t mad at her. He couldn’t bring himself to be angry at her for letting him go when he was so young. He grew up fine, he never pined for the affections of a mother or the guidance of a father. He knew what his mother and father were, but when Moominpappa placed a name and face to their beings, shaped their characters through his stories, he ached something sharp like a cold pick of winter ice drilled into his heart.

It was a surprise when it wasn’t Moomintroll who found him first, but The Mymble. Overwhelmed with the party, he had dove into the forest and climbed up a maple tree thick with green leaves. The summer breeze hit him just right, and from here he can watch the sun tiptoe the horizon and paint the sea a brilliant, hazy orange that drove the warmth of the day away.

“Snufkin,” she said.

He nodded in acknowledgment and lit his pipe, letting the smoke waft into the air and fill the thick silence with its odor, the sweet smell of daisies and poppies on his hat was blanketed under a smokey curtain.

“You’ve become quite the deity, haven’t you,” she settled herself on the ground under his tree, her voice rising into the air as if caught by a breeze and sailed up to his perch.

“You couldn’t have done anything for me, could you?” It was a statement, not a question.

“No. I can’t raise a spirit. Those children are all demigods and I enjoy watching them grow, but you aren’t a demigod. You won’t grow like them.”

“Little My?”

“Is like them, and so is my eldest. You’re one of a kind, Snufkin.” A sigh left her lips and it was as if the whole forest took a breath of fresh air. The leaves seemed greener, the air fresher, and the gentle sweetness of the most fragrant flora, of soft sweet peas and mysterious wisteria, star-light jasmine and plump gardenias. It was as if spring came back once more for another round. Snufkin looked down from his perch and saw The Mymble as she truly is- a goddess of spring.

Flowers bloomed and died in her hair, petals dripped like soft snow onto her shoulders and the green grass that’s sprouted out around her. The collar of fur was replaced with a wreath of greenery and flowers oozing their sweet scent, her coat was now a shifting robe that seemed to have been woven from the silkiest petals. She looked up to where Snufkin lounged in the tree, her round face glowing with light only one not of this world can possess.

Snufkin lifted his robe of glamour, the scruffy Snufkin in a coat too old to count the years of and boots worn to the thinnest soles were replaced by his robes of shimmering green. His hat bloomed all sorts of flowers, from the smallest, palest buds to the brightest, largest petals. He descended from the tree with a graceful leap, draped in spring nature, falling far too high to be safe and landed gently on the freshly grown grass, his bare feet hitting the cool blades.

“What of The Joxter, my father?” Snufkin asked.

“A minor god, the personification of a lazy summer day,” she nodded. “It’s why you reign strongest in the spring and summer where the flowers bloom brightest and the sun is the warmest. You spend your days idly and freely, amongst the root of trees and grassy meadows and wherever you go, you bring spring with you.”

She looked up where he stood before him. Even sitting, he was only barely taller than her. “You need to leave earlier than that, my son. I heard from the Moomins you hang around here through the autumn. That can harm you, and it can harm the balance of nature.”

“I know.”

“Then leave as soon as the trees start to shudder and the flowers start to grow smaller. You need to bring your music to the south where the sun sits high in the sky.”

“I will.”

Her eyes narrowed, unbelieving of him. Towers of delphiniums started growing around her, pale blue and pink trumpets of flowers unraveling and reaching for their sun, their spring goddess. Pops of tiny daisies sprung at their feet and brushed up against Snufkin’s bare ankles. “You will. I don’t know if you know this, but if you linger too long in one place, you may perish.”

“I know.” He was starting to sound like a broken record, skipping over select words that would appease his mother. But he knew, he understood the risk of staying too close to winter in Moominvalley. He did it once before because Moomintroll asked him to stay until the winter solstice for their feast so he won’t miss him too terribly when he left. He was ill then, and could barely touch his food, and almost didn’t make it out of Moominvalley before the snow started to really come down. Moomintroll has tried since then to have him stay a little longer, sighing loudly, despondently, into the autumn air. He caved and stayed, and he almost died.

“Don’t do it again. For each time you do, you will grow weaker faster.”

A shout of his named echoed through the forest. A flock of birds rose from the trees and scattered into the orange horizon, the sun swallowed by the midnight blue.

Moomintroll rounded the corner and spotted Snufkin. “There you are! Are you alright? You disappeared during the party.”

“I’m okay, just a little overwhelmed with the number of people,” Snufkin said.

“Oh wow! These are gorgeous!”

The Mymble had disappeared, leaving the patch of jewel-green grass and the stocks of delphiniums at the base of the tree. Snufkin had dropped his glamour back on, his boots crushing the grass and the daisies on his hat matched the ones by Moomin’s feet. Moomintroll did not see a thing. “Aren’t they lovely? They’re called delphinium.”

“They are.” Moomin picked a couple of little daisies and stuck them in the wreath of flowers on Snufkin’s hat. “Do you want to be alone right now?”

Snufkin shook his head. “We can go to the beach and take a walk. I’m just tired of the party.”

Moomintroll’s eyes lit up, a mischevious sparkle that seemed a little too excited for a simple moonlit stroll on the beach.

“Can I show you something instead?”

---

They stole a lantern from the party when no one was looking and traipsed up the forest path. Snufkin realized it was the direction Moomintroll had been sneaking off too for months now.

“What do you want to show me?” Snufkin prodded.

“It’s a surprise.” Moomintroll was practically vibrating.

They reached a bend in the trail and Moomintroll went off the path, over a bushel of bright, yellow yarrow, and down a secret worn path that wound through the trees. He suddenly stopped at the base of a sturdy oak tree. He pushed aside some broken branches piled up at the bottom and revealed a rope ladder dangling down the side of the tree.

“What is this, Moomintroll?” Snufkin asked. He looked up and between the thick branches he could make out wooden boards.

“I built us a secret base,” Moomintroll said, his voice barely able to contain his excitement. “I read a book about spies having secret bases hidden in plain sight, where they can meet and plot their next missions. I thought it would be cool if we had a secret place, too.”

“Oh, Moomintroll, it’s fantastic.” Snufkin’s heart swelled with something warm. A moment of fear iced his veins, that this was Moomintroll asking him to stay forever, but this was a treehouse, a place for them alone and not an actual house. He needn’t read too deeply into the meaning of all this.

“Let’s go, let’s go! You haven’t even seen the best of it yet!” Moomintroll ushered him up the ladder. It took them through a square hole cut out of a wooden platform, buried in the oak branches and green leaves. There was no way someone could see this place from below, and with the thick tree coverage, it was hard to see it coming from the forest path unless someone was looking for it.

The house was a simple box that was morphed around a sturdy branch. The door was a little high off the ground, and there were curtains patterned with summer yellow sunflowers (definitely Moominmamma’s work). The cabin was small, a little rickety for comfort, but Snufkin adored it. The little chairs at the table, a basket of snacks, a worn map from Moominpappa, a bouquet of small sunflowers and pale purple cosmos sat in a vase Snufkin remembered Moomintroll made when he was briefly into pottery, the sides bumpy with paw marks and the smear of bright blues made it personal. Moomin lit the oil lamp on the table and filled the small space with a wonderful warm glow. The blue light left from the twilight was chased away with the golden candlelight.

“This is wonderfully cozy,” Snufkin said as he settled down into one of the chairs. He peaked out from behind the window curtain and could see the main forest path between the branches of their tree. “Perfect for spying, but I’m afraid at night someone will see our light.”

“Then we’ll have to be extra careful and only come when everyone’s asleep,” Moomintroll said. He took the seat across from Snufkin and pulled out a book from a box under the table. “Let me show you the book that inspired me to make this!”

---

Little My bobbed through the tall stocks of gladiolus, a bundle held in her small arms. With her size, it was as if she was carrying lumber, not pink and yellow flowers. She emerged from the stocks and ran full sprint toward Moominhouse, where Moominmamma was trimming the stems of gladiolus and placing them in long vases.

“Thank you, Little My, that will be plenty for now,” Moominmamma said kindly, taking the new bundle from Little My. “Can you deliver this vase to Mrs. Fillyjonk?” She handed Little My a vase almost as tall as her with a spry of artfully arranged flowers, a red bow tied around the slim neck of the bottle.

“Sure thing! Don’t get mad if I spill!” Little My leaped from the porch and teetered down the walkway toward Mrs. Fillyjonk’s house, the water sloshing dangerously in the vase and her arms burned but she refused to put it down.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a Moomintroll-white shape flitter in the corner of her eye. She quietly placed the vase down on the side of the road and scanned the treeline where she saw it.

There! Darting between the trees was Moomintroll, his own armload of gladiolus flowers clutched close to his chest, the red pedals bobbing with his steps. The flowers won’t die if they waited out in the sun for a bit, Little My thought to herself and ran after him.

She stayed far enough away he wouldn’t be able to hear him, but close enough to keep him within sight. They wound through the trees, going off and on trails and pushing through bushes. He stopped suddenly at the bank of a river, a waterfall feeding into the quickly moving water. Snufkin sat at the shore, a bucket next to him and his fishing rod posed in his hand. Branches of green leaves and fern dripped from his hat, the single white dahlia poking from the side was like a beacon amongst the green. Moomintroll came up behind him and plucked a bud of red gladiolus and stuck it in his hat brim. The roar of the waterfall hid their words and Little My scooted closer to catch what they were talking about.

She heard “secret base” and lost face. She hopped from behind the bush and shouted, “And what are you two up to?!”

Moomintroll jumped in surprise and Snufkin turned and tipped his hat in greeting. “Little My, hello.”

“Hello to you, too. What are you talking about?” She asked again.

Moomintroll seemed to be sweating under all his fur, his eyes darting everywhere but Little My. “Nothing much, I wanted to show Snufkin the flowers you and Mamma picked.” Liar.

She tried again, badgering them for good answers, but she only got vague remarks. She got bored, as Moomintroll was giving Snufkin big cow eyes as he fished and Snufkin kept sneaking longing glances at Moomintroll when he wasn’t looking. It was sickening and she couldn’t take it. She left to go finish delivering the flowers

---

Moomin realized that he harbored warm feelings for Snufkin when the sun was at its hottest. Snufkin had stripped to his trousers and worn shirt, the white so faded it was threadbare at the hems and elbows. They splashed around a creek where a willow tree traced its surface, stocks of violet irises waved in the warm, summer breeze and spots of petunias reached for the water. It was a picturesque sight of them chasing frogs in the moving water, tripping over stray stones and tangled in weeds. The cool water felt great in Moomin’s heated skin, his fur thinned for the summer but it wasn’t enough to cool him from the hot sun. Snufkin had a peeling sunburn on his nose, new freckles sprang up across his cheeks and the back of his hands and for a second Moomin wanted to kiss them.

The shock of realization hit him as if Little My dumped ice-cold lemonade over his head. He froze in the creek, the water splashing at his waist as he stared wide-eyed at Snufkin floating on the surface, eyes closed and absorbing the sun peeking through the willow branches and warming the water. Moomin’s heart leaped in his throat and caught his tongue in a stranglehold. Never in his life had he wanted to hold someone’s paw so much.

---

The Moomins shielded themselves from the midsummer sun under their balcony, with Moominappa taking up residence in the hammock with a book over his face to muffle his snores. Snufkin sat on the railing cleaning his harmonica while Moomintroll sat next to him with a book of his own. From where they sat, a breeze hit them just right. Moominmamma was nearby repairing one of Little My’s dresses with a rather large hole in the hem. The little monster herself laid sprawled out on the porch, sweat dampening her hairline and shooting glances and Moomintroll and Snufkin.

Snufkin let his eyes follow her glances where Moomintroll was posed reading a book, one of pirates and seascape adventures. The sun hit his fur where the shade couldn’t shield him, haloing him in a white glow and Snufkin’s heart stuttered in his chest.

Moomintroll chose that moment to look and he smiled at Snufkin, his eyes glittered with mirth from what Snufkin suspects is from a silly part in his novel. He winked at Snufkin and went back to reading.

Little My snorted when Snufkin turned his back to the porch so no one could see his red cheeks.

---

Snufkin found himself napping amongst hydrangeas. They grew off the side of one spot on the road and their fragrant shade was ideal for a mid-afternoon nap. It was August, and the heat was reaching to the point of unbearable. The day before he and the Moomins wore themselves out on their own seascape adventure when they took the boat out. He could still smell the lingering salt and sand on his skin, a smell that won’t go away until summer is gone beyond the horizons.

He heard familiar footsteps coming down a road, a gait he had memorized by heart. Moomintroll caught sight of his boots sticking out of the flowers and crawled under the bush to join him.

“Hullo, Snufkin,” Moomintroll greeted. “Do you mind if I join you? The sun is very harsh right now and it smells wonderful in this shade.”

“Be my guest.” Snufkin patted the spot next to him. It was a tight fit within the sturdy branches and pom poms of pastel flowers, but Snufkin didn’t mind. He could never mind being so close to Moomintroll.

It was peaceful between them, or that’s what Snufkin wanted to say. He was enjoying the air between them, warm and fragrant. It was Moomintroll who seemed to not be able to settle down. He was tense, kept shifting in his spot.

Unable to take it, Snufkin pokes. “What’s the matter, Moomintroll?”

“I want this to last forever,” Moomintroll spoke in a rush, a crack in the dam.

“Well, summer can’t last forever. Soon it will be autumn and I’ll have to leave again, but don’t worry, I’ll always be back,” Snufkin soothed. “Then we can have a whole new spring together.”

“No, not that. It’s-“ Moomintroll gulped and sat up as far as he could with a wide branch of spade leaves in his way. He looked down over at Snufkin. “I don’t want us to change.”

“People are always changing, but we can change together.” Snufkin was admittedly a little confused where Moomintroll’s train of thought was going. He thought they’ve discussed this in-depth?

His heart lit up, fluttered in his chest in hope. He crushed it underfoot.

Moomintroll gulped. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m… I…”

Snufkin waited patiently. He sat up, too, and gripped the brim of his hat in his lap.

“I don’t know how to say this but I need to say this to you Snufkin, but I don’t want ya to change apart, can we still be friends?” Moomintroll looked anywhere but at Snufkin.

“Of course I’ll stay by your side,” Snufkin agreed easily. It was the easiest yet hardest thing he could do.

“Snufkin,” Moomintroll took a deep breath, steadying himself and pulled his gaze to meet Snufkin’s. “I love you so much, I want to stay with you, and you stay with me. I love you like Mamma and Pappa love each other, and if you don’t- don’t feel the same way, that’s okay! As long as we can be friends that’s more than enough for me.”

There was a stutter in Snufkin’s heartbeat at Moomintrolls confession.

“You don’t have to respond, we don’t have to change,” Moomintroll continued. “I needed you to know that before I exploded.”

“What if I want it to change?” Snufkin asked. His heart felt so light, pounding a rhythm into his chest. Before Moomintroll could respond, a look of pain crossing his face, Snufkin said, “What if I want us to be together, too… if you would have me?” He felt… he didn’t know how to voice his love for Moomintroll, he never thought he would ever. He wasn’t prepared.

Moomintroll’s eyes filled with starlight, a smile graced his face so wide and happy Snufkin silently filed away that memory forever. “I would love to,” Moomintroll said.

They held hands, something they’ve done countless times before, but this time it had a whole new meaning.

---

The summer heat got hotter and drier as the season progressed, the riverbed dried out and only the sturdiest flora could withstand the waves of heat. Grass shriveled to brown crisps and Moominmamma’s roses were nothing but bare stumps. In this, like everyone else in Moominvalley, Snufkin found himself dozing off more often than not. With a heat this intense, it left the air dizzy with sleep.

As Moomintroll and Snufkin would be considered officially together, they hardly strayed from each other’s sides. Their honeymoon phase, as Moominmamma called it. Despite how desperately Snufkin wanted to cuddle up to Moomintroll’s soft chest and sleep the day away under the bridge, the heat wouldn’t allow him to go closer than a few inches from Moomintroll. At night, when the air cooled to a more bearable warmth, not nearly cool enough to wear his jacket again but less like he needed to peel his skin off too, they would watch fireflies dance amongst the midnight blue or simply relax on the beach where the waves pounded their stories into the sand.

Snufkin tried not to think of the coming autumn, how the sunflowers were growing less frequently and the air lost the summer touch.

---

As if summoned, or perhaps sent by a certain spring goddess, Snufkin received a visitor on the last day of summer.

The summer left him weak and found that naps helped. Napping in flowers helped a lot. He laid in a grove of lavender brush, the first of the upcoming season and a final goodbye from summer. Their soothing smell lulled him into a deep sleep and he wondered if Moomintroll has seen this yet.

A crunch of footsteps through hard dirt and the sage leaves of the lavender brought Snufkin out of his stupor. Sleepily, he sat up and put his hat back on, the top adorned with more of the lavender stocks and sweet asters Moomintroll had found for him. A figure framed by the too-bright sun shaded his vision.

“Hello, may I help you with something?”

“I’m your dad and your mother sent me to make sure you’re getting ready to leave,” this person, The Joxter, said.

To see both his parents within the span of one season, how fortunate Snufkin must be. The Joxter was as Moominpappa described him to be, his eyes were a piercing blue and his olive coat had seen better days, the hat on his head was similar to Snufkin’s except red and looped through the cord around the brim were dandelions. From the pipe hanging from his lips and the calm disposition, Snufkin was a little unnerved by the similarities between them.

“It’s too early, tell her I’ll leave when it’s properly time,” Snufkin said.

The Joxter’s eyes narrowed. He took a deep breath of his pipe and puffed out a ring of smoke. “Okay.”

Snufkin was taken aback. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” He plopped down next to Snufkin and leaned back, his hat tilted down to shield his face. “I don’t care. You’re a grown man. She never took interest in you before now, so I don’t know what her concern is.”

The remark sort of hurt, but it was the hard truth. “Is she trying to change herself?”

“Not likely. I think she doesn’t want her only god kid to die out because he liked hanging out with the Moomins. Don’t worry, I do too. Your little boyfriend’s dad and I go way back.” His voice was muffled by his hat, the pipe lifted lazily in the air as he tapped out the ashes without care.

Snufkin stared down at him unsure of where to go from there. “They’re good, the Moomins.”

“Yeah, lay down kid, take a nap with me, then let’s go eat some of Moominmamma’s delicious food.” The Joxter patted Snufkin’s spot, the dent still in the grass where Snufkin had been laying.

He complied and found it odd to be having a cat nap with his dad out of the blue, a man he has never met before this moment. A god-like him who chose to spend his days idly, and suddenly he didn’t find it so weird so similar they were.

-----

AN: see Snufkin here!

#moom #moominvalley #the moomins #snufkin #snufmin #springdove #fic #hng

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puppetmaster55 · 6 years

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Thoughts on S6

So. Season 6. I want to say that this won’t have my own biases, that I won’t go off on salty tangents or let my emotions get the better of me. I really want to say that this is my unbiased thoughts on the season (and on how it connects with s5, and how it acts as the conclusion of the narrative arc begun in s3).

But I can’t.

Anyone who’s followed me for the last… nine months, I think, knows how I feel about clone theory. I’m sure I’ve been vocal enough, especially in the months between s5 and s6.

And I still don’t like it.

And I really don’t like how it was handled.

See, any clone storyline has to feature an in-universe reason for there being a clone of a specific person. You can look at Young Justice as a major example of how to handle a clone storyline (Superboy is, naturally, a clone of Superman and it’s explained why he was cloned—for the day that Superman starts to move away from “the big, blue boy scout”—alongside the other clones all having a reason why they were created). There has to be an in-universe explanation for why the clone exists.

Which is what upsets me the most about s6, and Operation Kuron, is that… there isn’t one. There is never once given an in-universe explanation of why Shiro was cloned, or what purpose the clone was made for.

Well, that last part isn’t true. The purpose a clone was made, from a meta perspective, was purely to act as a new host body for Shiro’s disembodied spirit. That’s it. That is entirely why Kuron existed.

Which, since that’s the only reason Kuron existed, means… Naxzela wasn’t Haggar using Kuron to lure everyone into a death trap as means of revenge from the s2 finale, or to infiltrate Volton and deliver it to the empire, or to infiltrate the rebels and act as a spy. Kuron amounted to a total net loss for Haggar, and for the Galra Empire.

Kuron ultimately amounted to giving Voltron back their Black Paladin for the better part of a year, completely losing an entire one-third of the empire because of it and resulting in Zarkon’s death and the dissolution of the Galra Empire.

Kuron did more for Voltron than he ever did for the Galra Empire.

Not even to mention the absurdity that this is what Haggar was referring to back in s1, saying Shiro “could have been the empire’s greatest weapon.” What? Him? Him, the original, specifically? When you’ve already got like a hundred copies of him in cold storage?

No. Just… no.

And perhaps the worst part of it all is… now we’ll never know. We killed all the clones, every single one, destroyed the lab where they were created so all the data there is gone, and Honerva looks to be done with that and moved on to better things. The clone, in the meta narrative, did exactly what it was created to do: be a new host body for Shiro.

Wait. No. I just realized the actual worst part of it all.

Kuron ended up a braindead body for Shiro to inhabit, basically. That’s the worst part of it all. Because not only have we gotten rid of an interesting dynamic in having Shiro interact with a clone of himself, but that all that development Kuron had with the team in s4 and especially in how he opened up and trusted Lance in s5?

All of that is now gone. It’s dust in the wind as we return to Shiro and Lance’s relationship circa s2 (AKA, workplace colleagues who have never shared a tender moment opening up to one another or built up trust to share their worries about themselves)

As much as I would love to believe that Shiro inherited Kuron’s memories, I’m not holding out hope that Shiro will ever remember his bonding moment with Lance. The creators themselves called Kuron a “Shiro husk” in an interview, which doesn’t lend itself to meaning Shiro has or will have any of those memories that Kuron built up over the last 4 seasons.

MOVING BEYOND THAT.

I liked this season. It was nicely plotted, very tense over multiple episodes, and despite my having no emotional attachment to Keith, his battle with Shiro-Husk in the clone lab was wonderfully animated and really drew me in. Lotor too was great this season, being pushed and pulled so hard that he finally snapped. Romelle is really lovely, and I am surprised that she no longer looks so much like Allura or is related. Krolia too, was incredible, her love story with Texas Dad (which, I’m really sad that we never got a name for him and now I am forced to forever refer to him as Texas Dad) really tugging at my heart.

Did I hate this season? No, not at all.

Did I love this season? Hardly.

I liked it. It’s ranked either third or fourth on my list of “most to least favorite seasons” after s5 and s1. It’s a very “upper middle” ranked season for me.

But I did not love it. Mostly because of how it handled Operation Kuron, and also because of how it handled Lance.

…..I did say that I wished I could keep my biases out of this.

Lance… felt like a regression. Like we had him be so built up as a person, that s6ep1 then had it all get reversed. How, you ask?

Well, Lance had a near-death experience and Allura brought him back to life. Along with his life, Allura seemed to have resurrected Lance’s old romantic feelings for her, which is what I hope happened, otherwise it horribly colors a good deal of Lance’s distrust of Lotor in s5 and relies on tropes I don’t think any of us want to see (just visibly moon over the girl for long enough and she’ll eventually grow those same feelings for you! What a surefire romance this is!)

Not that I have anything against any ship, but that Allura might run into Lance’s arms because of her failed love story with Lotor just… rubs me the wrong way.

Outside of that, I’m not surprised with the lotura becoming (for like twenty minutes in-universe) canon. They shared a number of moments growing closer and closer and both showed some romantic interest in the other.

But back to Lance. Season 5 built him up as the only one who took notice of something going on with Shiro, and even had a number of scenes focused on Lance, and had all the narrative build-up that Lance was going to play a major part (he even came across worried about Shiro in s6ep1, asking over the comms about Shiro’s well-being).

But then, as I said above, Lance had his feelings for Allura rekindled and that took over his entire purpose in s6.

I knew, ever since we were shown the promo poster at the end of s5, that Keith “as many times as it takes” Kogane returning to Voltron meant that Lance would get the short end of the stick re: Operation Kuron. I just didn’t know that it meant that Lance wouldn’t even get the stick at all. I should have, though. Lance always gets shown up by Keith dropping in five steps ahead of him, after all.

I could craft a meta on how Lance’s reaction to seeing Kuron’s braindead body means that he’ll take it as reason for him to step down for good when they reach Earth but… nah. Not now.

I think I’ll just conclude this section by expressing what little shred of hope I still have that Lance finally has time in the spotlight in the coming seasons.

And now… Keith. I feel no emotional attachment to Keith, and this has been something slow going ever since s2 happened. His character archetype doesn’t appeal to me, and I felt whatever lingering interest in him die off when he failed to in the s4 finale. Because that was the perfect set-up for someone to die, someone like a major character, but… he didn’t. So when his life seemed in danger in s5 I didn’t believe it, and when he nearly got hit by spaghettification in s5ep2, I didn’t believe it. Keith, out of every character, is the one who will never be put in real life-threatening danger. Even when he is (s4 finale), Keith still makes it out unscathed.

So… about the only emotional connection I had when watching the Keith vs Kuron fight, was with Kuron. And even then it was tenuous because of how the clone thing was handled.

I dunno what to say about the whole 2-year age-up thing, beyond… that sure was a quick way to mature Keith away from his impulsive nature.

I am not emotionally attached to Keith, or interested in him enough to weigh in on that.

….I do like space wolf though.

I didn’t like that Keith is set up now as The Black Paladin, unlocking Black’s wings in a mirror of both the s2 finale where Shiro did it, and the s4 starter where Kuron awakens Black. That whole sequence very obviously was Shiro letting go of his place as a paladin and Keith stepping up to the plate in full, after the symbolic return by summoning the Black Bayard. I’m not going to get into how I feel about Shiro stepping down as the Black Paladin, because it’s been better said by others (notably, zilla I think said it all best), but I am saddened that he’s no longer the Black Paladin and that Keith now is in full.

Keith being the Black Paladin is still not something I’m on board with, but if the writers can pull it off without making the show all about him again then I can live with it.

If there’s one major plot issue, outside of the clone and Lance, that I have to take up it’s… Acxa. Apparently she’s been on Lotor’s side this whole time, and been leading Ezor and Zethrid to the other side because… Lotor wanted her to? IDK, that felt like a messy retcon done so that Lotor could have all three Sincline ships together.

Honerva being cleansed of the rift corruption from Oriande was interesting, I admit. Really interesting. And even more so that Acxa mentioned that it was Honerva who sent the generals to retrieve Kuron and Lotor. Which makes Honerva (who Lotor said, like two weeks before in the s4 finale, was his mother) doing that “I am your mother” reveal and them being shocked so… off-putting. But Honerva seeming to have no love left for her son in the wake of learning about what he did to the Altean colony is… fascinating. She sees the worst of Haggar and Evil Emperor Zarkon in Lotor.

Romelle was really interesting too, as was the colony. I liked that it was addressed that the Alteans who were off-world survived and went into hiding. I liked that we’ve got a source of meta to look into with the colony, and with the source of Lotor’s refined quintessence. And it doesn’t come out of nowhere, not entirely, because Lotor has always admitted to being the kind of person who would willingly sacrifice a few if it meant a great reward (he was fine with Voltron being potentially destroyed or lost in another reality when they were collecting the Sincline Comet, and didn’t care about the loss of systems to the coalition and Voltron, and willingly threw Throk into the lion’s maw, so to speak, just for the reward).

This whole season felt like the second half of what was set up in s3, felt like the endgame that those seven episodes were building up to.

But… it didn’t feel like it connected back to s4 or s5 all that much. The coalition isn’t featured at all after we spent all of s4 building it up and bringing it back up in s5 as being firmly against the empire.

Which brings me to the conclusion of a 26-episode arc. It didn’t feel like one, unless the arc was “Lotor’s arc”. I expected Sendak to play a part, but he only appeared once and then vanished entirely to raze the empire and build up his “Fires of Purification” group.

And where we left off with Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid was… disappointing, almost. I’m not sure if I should expect them to return, considering the likelihood that they were pulled into one of the rifts, and even if they managed to avoid all that they have no ship to get away on, since they abandoned Honerva’s ship (which left to go to the colony of Alteans, I suspect).

I LOVED the DND episode, so so much. That is exactly the kind of filler we’ve been crying for. I laughed, I cried, I didn’t cringe away in second-hand embarrassment, and I had so much fun. The best episode of the season, and one of the best of the series.

I loved Hunk in the opener. He’s getting better at taking charge (compare that moment with when he sat in Black’s cockpit in s3ep2) and growing into both a fine diplomat and a courageous paladin.

I loved Coran, and Pidge, and Allura this season.

And I still love Lotor. He’s such an incredible villain, right up there with Azula. I fully expect both him and the Sincline to make a return in the future, considering that he’s now left behind in the place where the Rift Creature exists and the Sincline is just… there waiting for it to take possession.

I dunno. I liked the season, despite how Keith returned and was reaffirmed as The Main Character We Should Care About Above Everyone Else (yes, yes, this is a salt mine I need to get out of, I know that). It was a good season. Not great, not hardly the best season, but good as ever. It connects well with s5, and continues parts of the set-up we got there, that I can almost see how they would’ve existed as a 13-episode season. Where the series goes from here, I can only guess at bits and pieces.

What would I have changed? I’d remove the clone plotline entirely, for starter. I’d keep it as Haggar using Shiro’s arm and that nanovirus from s5ep3 to mindswish Shiro into the perfect soldier. I’d have had Lance realize Shiro’s been mindswished and do everything he can to break Shiro out of it. I’d have removed that whole “Acxa was really on Lotor’s side all along” thing, because it changes her actions in s5 and sours the “For Narti” moment. Instead I would have had Ezor learn about Operation Kuron and realize that Lotor slaying Narti was because of this, and the generals leaving Honerva all alone while they take their Sincline and run. I’d have featured the coalition’s reaction to Voltron siding with Emperor Lotor, and how that strained and blurred the moral lines even further. I… am not sure I would change much with Lotor’s arc, beyond having increased his paranoia both bc of Haggar and Sendak but also bc of the rift affecting him. Push him with that paranoia, so that when Allura says that he’s just like Zarkon it really causes him to go full Azula and say all that.

So that’s it. That’s just about everything I wanted to say about s6.

#puppet gets salty #voltron #i'm sorry to any followers who thought that i would be giving a rave review of this season or would love it to bits #i enjoyed it a lot despite what i didn't agree with

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marvelandponder · 7 years

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The Messy Fun of B-Canon

Should I Read It? Short Answer: Yeah! Not the most involved story the comics have gone into, but for a single issue, it’s certainly a worthwhile little story, especially if you’re interested in Starswirl the Bearded and/or Luna and Celestia’s past.

Spoilers will be discussed from now on, so enjoy the comic on iTunes, in stores, from wherever you get your comics, or here in video form (uhhh, what? Who said that? Reading comics for free—pffft, I never do that…).

Starswirl the Bearded is a mysterious figure in MLP lore. One who’s actually already had several different depictions outside of the show, and yet still remains so because at this point it’s become up to preference which you consider canon.

The most notable are the stories where we get to spend time with him, as mentions like the Rainbow Rocks backstory and brief appearances like the Sirens’ Fiendship is Magic are certainly neat, but don’t offer too much in the way of real character aside from what you may read into yourself.

The Journal of the Two Sisters gives us a look at him through the eyes of a very young Luna and Celestia, who at the time are just becoming princesses because he (and the ponies from A Hearth’s Warming Eve) approached them. He apparently even coronated them himself, so it’s no wonder why they looked up to him right from the start (if, found him a bit “unusual”).

Here, it’s his strangeness that lead him to creating so many spells, according to Celestia, as he thought of things no one else would.

This seems to fall in line with the old kooky Pinkie parallel depicted in the Reflections arc. Luna makes that comparison herself at one point, and it’s quite apt. He’s rather silly and eccentric, explaining his fascination with a big old hat with bells on it in a funny way without taking away too much dignity from the figure.

After all, we know Pinkie. The more Starswirl is likened to her, to more we know his silliness will never go so far as to make him shallow or uncaring. He proves throughout his time in this arc, too, that he can be serious when necessary—even, perhaps, to his detriment.

In Reflections, he has to tell Celestia to stop travelling to the alternate dimension where the good King Sombra lives. It’s for a good reason, there can be consequences to this dimension-hopping romance, but I have to wonder if this is why Celestia thinks Starswirl never understood friendship as well as Twilight did.

The guy’s certainly not heartless or cruel, and not much of a loner, really, so we’re left with choices like this to demonstrate why Celestia hold that view of him. She was pretty heart-broken over this, so it might just be her bias speaking.

Or, perhaps this is symptomatic of Starswirl’s usual mindset: instead of doing what he could to help this blossoming relationship survive (finding a way around all the paradoxes since he’s, y’know, a magical genius), he forbade it for the greater good… which, I mean, only resulted in Celestia sneaking behind his back anyway, but whatever. He had a good reason, it just may have damaged their relationship in the long run, as Celestia later says things were never the same between them after he found out she disobeyed his orders.

On that bright note, now we come to the Legends of Magic depiction of Starswirl!

Here, he’s a fair bit younger and seems rather strict. He’s not afraid to give the girls some tough love to get a lesson to hit home.

If Legends and Reflections are still canon with each other (question mark), it paints a nice picture of him; an all around eccentric guy who was a strict mentor in the beginning, and perhaps grew sillier and with age, but was still able to lay down the law when needed.

For that matter, it’s interesting to me that the most prominent depictions of Starswirl always seem to have a balance between his silly side and his strict, non-nonsense mentoring side, because they both come with pros and cons.

His more out-there side, where he takes himself less seriously, seems to provide some of his most brilliant ideas and allows for him to have a sense of humour. It seems this is when he’s best able to connect with his students, too. Even if he is a bit of a goof.

You people wonder why I keep babbling about the parent-child parallels between the teachers and students in this dang franchise. It cute.

On the other hand, his worldly, serious side lets him take charge in dangerous situations and get through to his two students when they need it most. Although, it can come off as callousness and has hurt both Luna and Celestia, even if they needed the lesson.

Granted, having two opposing traits battling for dominance might be the result of the writers of these various materials not necessarily coordinating, but it can also be seen within each work, and I think it works really well. The worldly adventurer and the old eccentric are two well-worn tropes that could be used on their own when developing Starswirl’s character, but by combining these tropes into one character, you get a more interesting, 3-dimensional dynamic!

Although, these two sides to Starswirl aren’t the only thing that seems to contradict itself, and it’s here where this analysis/review has to talk about… *shudders* continuity errors.

Well, okay, I can mostly shrug off minor continuity errors here and there (mostly because even for the brief time I wrote for a fan show, I found it crazy how many little details I had to be reminded of by other writers in the chat; I have admiration for the poor bastards who do this for a living).

On the other hand, continuity errors so big that they bring other stories from b-canon into question are a different story. I still have sympathy for the writers, but that just makes my job as a (non)Professional Analytic Bullshitter much more… creative.

So, let’s try to explain (bullshit) some pretty big continuity errors, shall we?

Continuity Error? # 1: Starswirl’s Impeccable Sense of Timing (… get it? TIME)

Okay, so we know the order of these stories—Journal, Legends, Reflections—but that’s about where the logical flow stops.

During the beginning of Legends, Celestia tells Sunburst that Starswirl went missing before Luna became Nightmare Moon, but that directly contradicts the flashbacks laced throughout Reflections, which took place (for the most part) after Luna became Nightmare Moon.

There’s also the fact that Reflections keeps stubbornly referring to Starswirl as Celestia’s mentor, not Luna and Celestia’s—to the point that Luna at one point says she doesn’t remember much of him outside of his appearance.

2/3 say he mentored them both and that’s cuter in my book, so screw that.

So, let’s just focus on the mysterious whereabouts of Starswirl the Bearded. That one sounds cooler, anyway.

Some fans have already speculated that Celestia might be lying to Sunburst about exactly when and how Starswirl disappeared, basically just to cover up the whole I-almost-destroyed-not-one-but-two-dimensions fiasco, which is an explanation that has merit.

In Reflections, Celestia apparently kept this whole story a secret from even Luna up until she absolutely had to tell her. Mostly because of all the guilt and other messy feelings involved, but this was something she and Starswirl originally experimented on in secret.

If she didn’t tell her own sister for that long, I could see Celestia covering up the sad truth that she lost Starswirl both emotionally and physically sometime after she lost her sister. Especially if she still blames herself for at least one of those.

Continuity Error? #2: The Castle

There’s a bit of confusion now on when exactly Canterlot Castle was built, if the sisters appear to be living there as teenagers in this comic, but built The Castle of the Two Sisters in the Everfree forest shortly after their coronation as kids.

However, while I don’t know if this was intentional or not, I can find an explanation in the Journal. When Luna and Celestia were coronated, Princess Platinum, Chancellor Puddinghead, and Commander Hurricane didn’t just buzz off. In fact, at the time Luna and Celestia didn’t even have their cutie marks yet, so responsibilities like raising the sun and the moon were left to teams of ponies (one of which being Starswirl).

It would stand to reason to me that Canterlot Castle originally belonged to that lot of leaders, as a sort of middle-ground between their three castles since the country was united.

This seems to be backed up by something Celestia writes:

“I had a great time meeting with Private Pansy, Clover the Clever, and Smart Cookie, the three representatives from the Pegasai, Unicorns, and Earth ponies who originally came up to Canterlot.” - page 57, The Journal of the Two Sisters

They may have ruled from there all together, or met there for meetings, or what have you, but that would make sense. Even if they wanted these young alicorns to represent all Equestria, they couldn’t exactly leave it to inexperienced children to do it quite yet.

Speaking of which…

Continuity Error? #3: Princess Personalities

It’s not just Starswirl who got a brand new bag for Legends of Magic #1! Teenage Celestia in particular shows off some real thoughtlessness and attitude, really rubbing it in that her younger sister can’t keep up with her.

Some have called this into question, as in the Journal of the Two Sisters, a young Celestia is quite the dork. Geeking out over libraries and scrolls, anxiously doubting the choice to make her a princess, etc.

She’s certainly very thoughtful (even Twilight-esque) at a young age, so it might seem backwards for her to be even more immature as a teenager.

But, then again, we know the timeline here.

By the time Celestia’s a teenager, she’s been a princess for years. The Journal only covers the time just after her coronation (in addition to being her and her sister’s journal, with a obvious bias) and when she and Luna got their cutie marks.

There’s a time-gap in between that might seem a bit small in comparison to the hundreds of years she seemed to remain relatively unchanged. However, given how fame and power has been known for corrupting those who grow up surrounded by it, it’s not too far-fetched for me to think vast amounts of ponies worshiping her for doing something no one else has ever had the power to do on their own got to her.

Besides, that seemed to be in the narrative of the original lore. Celestia was praised, and because of it was relatively blind to her sister’s slow descent into jealousy and depression.

Speaking of which, between Celestia’s unkind treatment and the Nightmare forces, I’ve seen it suggested that Luna seems to be more a victim of circumstance than a true villain in her own story.

The delicious dramatic irony in this story only adds to that perception. A young Luna is the only one who can hear the dark whispers from the dimension she was dragged into, and it seems that whatever wanted her power seemed to think she’d already become Nightmare Moon (or, was trying to speed up the process).

Plus, Starswirl keeps foreshadowing her descent in ways that might be too obvious for some, but just make me feel so sorry for them, that they think they’re out of the woods for good. I’m a sucker for the sap.

But as to whether Nightmare Moon was Luna’s fault, I still think it was Luna’s choices and jealousy that sealed her fate. Whether Nightmare Moon was a force entirely from Luna or not, she was willingly calling on it. At most, Luna seems a bit in awe of the forces transforming her, but it was absolutely her decision to listen to the dark whispers in the back of her mind.

So, in the end, that just makes Legends of Magic all the more endearing, with the power of hindsight. I can totally see how the continuity … mess would turn some readers off, and how some will find the foreshadowing/dramatic irony (more so the latter, since we as the audience will exclusively appreciate this with the knowledge of what’s to come already in mind) for Luna’s fall a bit heavy-handed, but dang, if the character dynamics in this trio worth the long wait for more of their adventures.

With any luck, that’s the part of this comic that ties into season 7. Here’s to hoping!

Year of the Pony

#yearofthepony #year of the pony #starswirl the bearded #princess celestia #princess luna #mlp #my little pony #mlp:fim #mlp: fim #friendship is magic #My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic #mlp analysis #mlp reviews

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spaceorphan18 · 7 years

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Finding Kurt Hummel: Goodbye

Masterpost

3x22: Goodbye

On the flip side of things - we have an episode that a lot of people really don’t like, and I kind of enjoy, actually. Sure the last ten minutes are super frustrating, and yet, like five minutes are spent with Finchel discussing chair choices for their wedding, but I think it’s nice, and far more entertaining than a lot of what’s been coming before it recently. It gives all the seniors a moment to shine, and closes up the first half of the show in a way that really does seem adequate for the first half of the show.

Forever Young

It seems a little weird for a show that’s only been on the air for three years to be this nostalgic about itself. But the sentimentality, which I realize is only found on TV - as most people are more than happy to leave their high school years behind, seems appropriate for this episode. It’s not just about the seniors leaving, it’s the fact that the show is really a different show after this, as we move on to what is essentially a mash-up of Glee: The Next Generation and Glee: The College Years. So, bring on the flash backs of the pilot.

There’s really no reason for them to be singing this again -- but it’s adorable, and if anything, we get to see how much taller Kurt has grown! And to think, this really is only the half way point of the series.

So -- even though this episode feels and functions a lot like a series finale (Glee had a handful of episodes that do this from here until the actual series finale), there are some plot lines that don’t have a steadfast resolution -- and one of them is Klaine. There’s a dangling thread of worry placed over this episode, mostly coming from Blaine’s direction, as every time the word senior is mentioned, he freaks out.

And dear Kurt, look at him, he just adores Blaine to pieces, and really isn’t worried about their upcoming separation as well. Which are the seeds, that have been really planted all year when you look for them, of the upcoming breakup we’re gonna get in season 4. Cause here’s me overly simplifying the situation. Blaine, at this point, has too little faith that his relationship is going to work out. Kurt, on the other hand, has too much faith. They have so, so much growing from this point, so much to learn about love and relationships and growing up, but we’re on the edge here of a lot of messiness that makes their relationship all the more meaningful once we get on the other side of it.

As for this particular scene itself -- I think Will has some letting go issues he might need to work on as he over romanticizes this particular group, lol. But no -- it’s a nice moment, and it’s interesting that this kind of set up is going to come back in the actual series finale. Everyone is wistful because yes, things are going to change, and you never do go back to what you once were.

Kurt’s Vignette

Kurt: When I first got to McKinley, I was afraid to make eye contact. I didn't talk about my politics, I didn't share what was in my heart I oh, let's just call the Cadillac pink and be done with it. I was in the closet. And most days, I was also in the Dumpster. But McKinley has made me a stronger, more socially conscious, fashion-forward person. And perhaps I played some small part in making it possible for tadpole gays all over Lima to be themselves in public. Not a bad legacy for someone who once pretended to be in lust with Rachel Berry so I wouldn't have to date Mercedes Jones. Now if can just get through the next few days without turning into a hot mess teary train wreck.

Something that I think is neat about this episode is that each of the seniors get their own little segment and Kurt gets to kick the whole thing off. As he glides down the hallway (literally -- they have him on a moving track or something), we get his inner monologue about how far he’s coming from when he started high school: he was getting thrown in dumpsters, he was really in the closet, and he was pretending to have a crush on Rachel to get out of dating Mercedes. And look how far this bb has come.

I mean, he waves at a basketball player as he walks by, a neat little touch, that Kurt’s much more accepted than he ever was at McKinley. He’s even grateful for all his luck because he can even inspire those McKinley tadpole gays. (And how cute that they actually show the tadpoles.)

Kurt’s sentimentality is interesting to me. Because right in the moment, I can see where he’s feeling it -- reflective that high school sucked for most of the time he’s been there, but his senior was actually really good. And I mean, think about it as someone who does not know what’s coming up -- during Kurt’s senior year he’s not getting beaten up, he has a good relationship with his dad, he has a boyfriend, whom he spends a majority of his time with, whom he loves, and whom he has sex with, he has a great group of friends (especially Mercedes and Rachel), and a brother whom he adores, his show choir just won nationals, and he feels he has good future prospects ahead. In a way -- he’s in a better place then the end of season 2 (but why did that feel more hopeful?).

Interesting, though, that I think the sentimentality is in the moment. There’s an interview done by Chris Colfer where when asked about Kurt and future high school reunions Chris stated explicitly that Kurt would be no where to found. And I do feel that to be generally true. He’s feeling love for this place because change and growth and optimism, but down the line, I think the moment passes.

So -- Burt is waiting for Kurt in the auditorium. And I love the little exchange at the beginning about what Burt can give Kurt as gifts -- because it shows that Burt still doesn’t get his son a lot of the time, but they’re different people than they were, and love each other despite those differences.

And we get this nice little moment of reflection -- where Burt talks about raising Kurt as a kid, and how it can be hard for a parent when that kid stops being generic kid and starts being themselves. But the cool thing is they were able to figure it out. (And how adoring Kurt is -- he loves his dad so much. I’m not usually one for family stories, but I love this one.)

So Burt has a unique way of gift giving as we’ll see....

Oh, the looks on Kurt’s face as he realizes what his dad is doing -- a recreation of the Single Ladies dance, completely with Tina and Brittany. And it is pretty priceless. I’m guess they didn’t tell (or show) Chris before filming -- because this seems like pretty genuine laughter from Kurt throughout this whole thing.

We also get lots of flashbacks to the original Single Ladies dance, as a fun reminder, and a way to show just how much Kurt has come. But it’s interesting, this is only the half way mark. We still have a lot more Kurt story, and a lot more growing up for him to do.

Looking to the Future while Missing the Present

So, next we get our only real Klaine scene in the episode. And I remember at the time that it felt a little frustrating that we didn’t get, well, more. And -- I mean after a season of looks and glances and not a whole lot of promise, it’s hard to take. But -- as I look back at the whole picture, I do understand more of what the writers were going with here. Because this particular episode is about endings, and changes. And while Klaine is definitely going to get it’s own change (and more Klaine thoughts in a second), their story isn’t ending - not by a long shot. In fact, I’d argue we’re right in the middle of it, where the fairy tale is going to turn into a story about growing up and becoming a real couple.

So -- First of all, we get Kurt talking about how awesome his dad’s gift was -- and Blaine’s reminds him that he, too, got Kurt a gift, which Kurt dismisses. So, there’s a clue... Blaine wants to then talk about the future, because they haven’t been talking about /that/. And Kurt’s pretty dismissive about that, too. But here’s where Kurt’s just not paying attention -- because Blaine is pretty much bracing himself for the fact that his relationship is over. He’s been incredibly insecure, arguably, since the beginning of the second semester, and considers the end of the relationship inevitable. (Hence my earlier comment that Blaine doesn’t have enough faith in his own relationship. There are other Blainey elements in this, too, but that’s for another discussion.)

Meanwhile, Kurt just doesn’t really get it. He doesn’t even want to get it. To him, he’s got his entire future planned out -- they’ll eventually both be in New York, they’ll have careers and eventual marriage (at age 30) and grow old together and live in a home where they’ll bicker like the old married couple that they are. He has no worries about the state of their relationship. And /that/ is the problem. He is kind of blind to the fact that Blaine’s kinda downward spiraling (or I may argue, intentionally ignoring the signs).

And all those promises he keeps making -- that they’ll be fine, that they’ll be together forever, that Kurt’s always going to love him -- may be a band-aide for the moment, but aren’t going to stop the bad things from happening to his relationship. Because relationships are hard work, yo, and Kurt’s not putting in the time right now. And in a way that is understandable. There are things in life going on that take his attention away like college and moving and it’s nice to cling onto something supposedly stable. But you know, talk to your boyfriend, Kurt!

Meanwhile -- something I’d like to address going into season 4. Both Kurt and Blaine, being characters who are coming from this fairy tale romance stage, throughout the next few seasons have an issue of idealizing the other one. Blaine holds onto Kurt as this kid whom he saved, and as someone who in turn saved him. Kurt holds on to Blaine as this picture perfect boyfriend, the white knight he met at the foot of the stairs. The problem is, despite being fictional characters, Kurt and Blaine are real people and not living in a fairy tale, (though they are in a happily ever after musical, lol, I’m digressing.) The neat thing is that I think by the time we get to season 6, and get through most of this mess, the two of them like each other for their faults and all -- and I think that’s pretty cool.

And that’s not to discredit the foundation they have at this point (something that gets them through all those hard times). They are two kids who genuinely like each other as well as love each other. They do understand each other, even if they have the worst communication problems. And their love is very much real, even if some times relying on just love to get them through is a pratfall that befalls on them.

I also want to give a shout-out to the ‘Never Say Goodbye’ moment. It’s the one promise Kurt never breaks, and while it is an intentional throwback to another iconic Klaine moment (a Klaine moment about change, interestingly), I kind of love this one. Glee v.1 might be nearing it’s end, but Klaine is never over.

All of this reminds me -- I always wanted to write an Old Man Klaine fanfic about Kurt chattering away to some caretaker about Blaine, as Blaine yells about J-Lo in the background, lol.

I’ll Remember

So. Okay. We get into what may be my least favorite Kurt solo. And, it’s partly because I’m just not a fan of the Madonna song (though, ha Madonna seems such a good Kurt choice). But the context here bugs me a little.

Kurt dedicates this song to all the men in this room. And you know what -- seriously? This feels like just another moment for the writers to throw in their commentary on masculinity instead of giving Kurt a real character moment. Yes, the part of the line that says: it doesn’t matter that we’re gay or straight, it matters that you saw me as the same -- is a poignant piece of writer, especially as Chris cries those pretty tears.

But the whole thing seems incredibly hollow. Sure, Finn has made an impact, and that is important. I’ll even give minor credit to Sam for not being an asshole, and even lesser credit to Mike, even though they have no relationship. But Artie? Joe? Rory? Really? And then Puck? Kurt’s never had a good relationship with Puck. Not to mention the last few episode Puck has bonding with Blaine, and still making vaguely homophobic comments. So, I don’t buy this moment Glee, I don’t.

Wait -- does Will count in this? God I hope not.

Meanwhile -- those in that room who’ve supported him a lot? (Blaine seems really excluded during this) Those are the girls -- Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, Brittany, eventually Santana. I mean, even he and Quinn have shared some nice background moments. I can go for giving the whole Glee club a sentimental speech, but singling out the guys? Ug, whatever Glee.

Okay -- for the song itself. I may not be a fan of the aesthetics of the actual song, I do think it’s an appropriate choice for Kurt here -- and Chris sounds lovely as he always does on it.

And I'll remember the love that you gave me Now that I'm standing on my own I'll remember the way that you changed me I'll remember

I like this -- I like the acknowledgement of growing up, and how Kurt’s changed, but he knows he’s a better person because he’s had this group of friends. It’s a really nice thought.

Inside I was a child That could not mend a broken wing Outside I looked for a way To teach my heart to sing

OMG! I never knew there was bird analogy in this! What’s our Klaine-bird score now? Lol. But, yeah, wow Kurt -- feeling broken inside, and how long did it take Kurt to let people in, to let other people help heal him?

No I've never been afraid to cry Now I finally have a reason why I'll remember (I'll remember)

Ha! How very Kurt. But also -- this is very much Kurt saying goodbye, too (as insinuated by the earlier Klaine scene). And while it’s sad -- Kurt’s going to look back fondly, and dare I say, pretty okay with moving forward in his life.

The Pact

Hey Kurt and Finn are talking to each other by the lockers. I don’t think they’ve had any kind of conversation since The Spanish Teacher. It’s a little bit a shame they didn’t do more with the brotherly aspect of their relationship.

So, Rachel bops along to let them know their college letters will be there soon. (I’m going to skip over the fact that this is not how college acceptance letters work, since most people have replies by January, but whatever, Glee.) They make a pact to go open them in the choirvroom. They even pinky swear!

Now that I think about it, this scene is kind of unnecessary narratively, but I’ll take it over the cut yearbook scene where Rachel claims Kurt as her soul mate. (Ug, don’t get me started.)

FWIW -- there’s a deleted scene featuring Mike Chang, too - cause he doesn’t really get a vignette in this. Check it out on youtube, it’s nice.

And Other Stories

So -- the seniors all take a moment and sing You Give What You Get to the underclassmen. And, it’s kind of a bittersweet moment as each of them take a moment to say goodbye to their friends. Like -- all of the friendships/relationships between senior and non-senior are non-verbally touched upon here, and it’s kind of neat.

Klaine is very much a background entity at this point. I mean, there’s the cute moment where Kurt mimes reeling in Blaine like a fish, and they dance together a little bit, and kind of half hug and whatnot.

But then there’s this moment -- and it’s so blink and you’ll miss but I think it’s a little fascinating. By the end of the song, the seniors have all traded places with the underclassmen, and Kurt and Blaine exchange this look. It’s this kind of wistful, okay here we go, we have to do this now look. It’s a little heartbreaking, cause now it’s not just Blaine who’s sad, Kurt’s feeling it a little, too.

Aaaand then we get Finchel arguing about chairs, lol. Oh this episode....

I completely forgot that In My Life was a dedication to Finn. C’mon, writers, stop, it’s a little gratuitous at this point.

Meanwhile, my god, there are a lot of shared looks between Kurt and Blaine this episode. I mean, I’ll take them all, but this might be the episode with most shared across the room looks. And, oh Blaine, he’s just about to lose it. Kurt’s all smiling and loving at him, though.

And note, it’s a nice touch that they do the whole Klaine thing when they’re singing this line:

But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you

So -- this is Quinn’s sequence, which I won’t be talking much about -- just that she considers this group of people friends! And that includes Kurt, who pleasantly waves at her as she passes. Man, there’s a whole lot of untapped Kurt/Quinn friendship stories to be told.

Also, things that strike me as kinda weird -- during the Quinn/Puck hook up scene, the Klaine scene plays in the background. Weird - did they not have other music to put there? Because that’s most definitely Klaine’s theme -- you played it earlier in the episode. Give it back!

It’s a little weird to me, but not to Glee because Glee logic says it makes sense, that all the seniors are waiting for Puck’s test to see if he passed. And he did. And Kurt goes and hugs the teacher, lol. I wonder if that was a Chris idea. That feels like a Chris idea.

Graduation

It’s now time for that graduation photo op!

So the graduation pecking order is from least important to most important according to Glee logic. Sorry Mike Chang :/

Oh Kurt, and your glorious high kick entrance. <3

So this is, like, a spouse moment. I mean, c’mon, it so is. Kurt’s a mess, and Blaine hands him a handkerchief, and has him dry his eyes before his moment. I mean -- yeah. I love it so much.

Aww, I love Kurt and his little bow once he graduates. And Burt’s in the audience being a proud papa. What a sweet little moment.

Coda

So -- you know how all throughout season 3 I’ve been whining about the NYADA story line? It’s because of this moment right here -- the moment that Kurt does NOT get into NYADA.

The thing that really infuriates me about it, the reason they kept giving Kurt all of those highs, that moment with dad when he gets his acceptance letter, that awesome audition sequence, was because knew they were doing this. And they did this so that Rachel could go to New York by herself. KURT’S ENTIRE COLLEGE STORY LINE WAS SET UP SO THAT RACHEL COULD WIN!!! And that is why I have issues with the writing of Hummelberry during this season (and next).

Cause I mean yeah, while it’s shody a bit, Kurt is going to get the /better/ story line overall, where he gets to be a complete character and not have everything handed to him. But yeah - I remember how pissed everyone was at this moment. And I can still feel it. Because it’s not just the sting of not getting in. It’s the sting of feeling like we were set up. And it is infuriating. Sorry bb, you’re a sidekick in someone else’s show. At least the next three seasons do untangle this knot a little.

So, Rachel gets into NYADA -- and Finn can at least feign his happiness. Kurt’s a little: well fuck this shit. Yup, I’m with ya, kiddo.

The Rachel vignette though is seriously the worst. Oh no, all my dreams have come true but I shall martyr myself because my boyfriend and my best friend aren’t as wonderful as I am. God, shut up Rachel.

(I don’t hate Rachel -- but I’m not going to like her for a while.)

The Unbearable Heaviness of Finchel.

I am going to take a quick second and talk about Finchel. Yes, I know this car scene is problematic -- and yes, Finn should not be making choices for Rachel. I’m totally agreed with that criticism. But man, there is something vindicating to seeing her actually have to confront an issue she has no control over. It’s frustrating that Rachel’s good things often times are handed to her by the writers -- so I’m kind of welcoming of this little scene, tbh.

You know what, now that I think of it, I’m guessing the original ending of the series was the inverse of this scene, where they finally get back together for good. Huh. Anyway -- despite the fact that the ten minute Finchel end of this episode is irritating, and kind of dismissive of all the rest of the characters, it is pretty well acted.

Anyway -- here we are at the end -- and while I’m totally on team group song, I can see why the writers went this way. Rachel’s saying goodbye and going off to New York, and this chapter of the show has ended. So, it’s one last goodbye at the train station as everything spins in, well pardon my expression, new directions.

Idk -- it seemed like a good shot, tbh. So yeah, while there’s nothing else for Kurt here, except trying his best to be a good friend to Rachel, we leave Kurt here in Lima for, what is probably, a kind of hard summer.

And so ends season 3, and the show as we know it - for better and worse I suppose. Because yeah, everything after this is different as the series really won’t be the same one after this.

So -- goodbye season 3. It’s been fun. I would say I’m going to miss you, but no. I really won’t.

#finding kh #kurt hummel #heads up this is way longer than you might expect -- but quality meta if I do say so myself ;)

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