#a little nervous since i've never been under anesthesia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilac-den · 3 months

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I hope you don't mind and if you'd feel like it, you could entertain me a little. ROs scenario ask incoming, for both series. But first, a little explanation where it comes from.

So, ever since last weekend started, I've been dealing with a big headache made by a toothache. and only today I finally have a dentist appointment. I'm tired from five days of barely sleeping, taking a little too much strong painkillers, and overall feeling dizzy and just too much, as well as being nervous as hell, since the last dentist visit I had (a few years ago) left me a little traumatised. I had a wisdom tooth removed waaay sooner than anesthesia kicked in (basically, I started feeling numb only after getting home). it hurt so much I left the dentist crying, with some adults looking at me like I'm crazy and kids looking scared. and I might be lucky the dentist didn't take it against me when I was so close to touch them myself (in attempt to take their hands off of me). so, today I wouldn't mind some little... fluff? comfort? anything, really, as I'm already standing in a store choosing my comfort plushie for today. (I may be 25 this year but I'm also adult enough to admit I need it).

anyway, the scenario? lets say MC is dealing with all that: a cheek so swollen they look like a hamster, toothache so big it leaves them either crying or dozing off in between, dizziness both from pain and as little (or as much) food they were able to get. add to that that little bit of trauma/being scared of dentists. and for whatever reason they need to wait a few days before meeting with a dentist. how would ROs help them, maybe comfort them in meantime? especially if all that could make even the calmest, kindest of MCs snap a little? (and they'd apologize either right after or once the pain is gone, depending on MC character)? 🥺

It's a bit rough for me to write answers for ROs from both series (cuz it's a lot) but I'll try my best XD

Pls try not to send me asks of both series at once though. It's a bit much for me 😢

(But I'm sorry to hear about your dentist visit ;u; if it helps - I never got to visit the dentist till about a year or two ago for the first time and jesus fuck was it a disgusting experience ._. I'm just glad my dentist was patient and informative) [And no judgement here - pretty sure being an adult means you got to have a horde of plushies if anything XD]

Silverking

Zeus: They'll treat MC like how you would treat a feral pet: Carefully and slowly approach them from the rear. XD But for real, they would start learning a whole new system for this rare event to get the pattern worked out.

Zeus wouldn't feel like MC needed to apologize - in fact, they had fun discovering this new side of MC.

Hermes: As someone who has medical knowledge and experience in the medical practice...Even they agree that dentistry sucks. But Hermes, while they would be pretty peeved about getting snapped at, is pretty up-to-date MC's state and understands the pain MC is in isn't their fault (that, and they know better than anyone that the snappy words MC said were out of the pain from the toothache, not from Hermes themselves). But mark my words, they'll be the ones to record MC being under loopy world from the dentist procedures of putting patients under anaesthesia with their phone and then show it to MC when they apologize to Hermes.

Dionysus: They'll be fretting so much - and also be sensitive with MC's mood, trying their best to not overstep anywhere. They would be the most comforting presence, but they'll also end up walking on eggshells around MC in fear of accidentally pissing them off. ^^"

Moment MC apologizes tho, Dionysus would relax and reassure MC that it's fine.

Ares: They're the most steady presence for MC but they're also not afraid of replying back to MC's snappy tone - just in a more of 'yes, dear, whatever you say' sort of manner (not in a careless one, but more like a spouse that's just so used to chaotic shit that this is their new normal XD) But Ares would go instinctive, protective mode of sorts - MC feels some discomfort? Ares tries to find out what's causing it then adjust it till MC is satisfied. MC's feeling dizzy? Ares ends up picking MC up to either let them rest on the bed or, if MC wants to, let them cuddle against them on Ares's lap.

Dolos: Huh...Kinda hard to picture how Dolos would do. Farthest I get is that they would already have things prepared, like they know MC just before MC asked - at least, stuff that's part of MC's routine/common choice of comfort/relief.

TSR

Maverick: Considering his ability to wield ice, he's the endless supply of ice packs for your swollen cheek! He'll personally tend to MC too - at least, until the staff had to convince him of the paperwork and stuff that's been piling up, which Maverick would work on it if it seems like he's suffocating MC a bit too much.

Rydigan: Unlike Maverick, he's gonna end up being attentive and maybe overprotective? I can picture MC being both exasperated but also nostalgic about Rydigan fretting over them.

Ittania: She'll help out if MC asks for it - not because she's uncaring (far from it!) but because she trusts MC to know what they need. Only time she'll put a hand in is if MC tries to do something that they shouldn't do in their condition - basically a limiter for them?

Enid: Hrm...She'll probs be pissed if the doctors try to do the procedure before the anaesthesia even kicked in, an amateur mistake since the House of Scales is known for having the best knowledge of medicines, including how long it takes for the anaesthesia to kick in for both susceptible or resistant to it. You can imagine her picking a fight with the doctors who's dumb enough to remove MC's wisdom tooth without the anaesthesia (even when MC tells her that it's not that bad, given how high MC's pain tolerance is).

Then...I guess she tries her best to care MC? (Tho she's pretty bad at this, so Ittania would take notice and try to help her when she can XD)

Thank you for the ask!

#silverking #TSR #The Sole Reminiscence #dentist #ROasks

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vivavinni · 6 years

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March 17th, 2018 KC - Mental Me.

Today I don't have anything inspirational to say. I am not in love. I am not politically charged (though I should be.) I'm not even sure I can successfully organize what's been going through my mind, but I need to give it a try.

I saw and shared this post on Facebook today:

This post is so closely relatable. I was the kid who survived multiple suicide attempts; I vacationed in multiple hospitals. I am now the adult who feels ill equipped, unprepared and lost.

My dad died when he was 26 years old, I was 6. Growing up, for me, was much different than most of my friends. My mother was a single parent my entire life. We were always moving, paycheck to paycheck. She did everything she could to keep a roof over my head and keep me alive. We are lucky enough to have a supportive foundation. Our family is a good size, very loving and strong. (This is something I never let go of.)

During years 6-10 I dealt with a good amount of anger and sadness. A great deal of my young childhood is a blur, however, I know for certain I was difficult. I remember I needed certain things to go certain ways to feel mostly comfortable in my skin. (Example- my socks had to be folded over perfectly and fit inside my shoes just right, before I left for school. If they were crooked or slightly uneven I would have a meltdown.) I was and always will be chubby. Even then, I had a lot of small and large insecurities that worried me constantly.

Anxiety, what a friend. He sits right next to Depression, she's always crying about something and obsessing over death.

After years spent fighting my mom about going to counseling meetings and follow ups for learning how to grieve after your best friend and father dies, we thought, "maybe the worst is over..." That was not the case.

A few years passed, maybe age 10-12, and I refused to continue counseling because I didn't understand why I had to do it when none, or most of my friends didn't. I didn't want to be so different, but I was and always will be (and that's okay now). Life seemed relatively normal, I had to adjust to having a new baby sister (which was difficult at first, life moves on). I established a few good friendships and mostly excelled in school. Family gatherings were always a highlight. I was fortunate enough to go on a few very cool vacations to new places which is great fun!

Now, at this point it seems light, happy and chipper, however, I grew up with an obsession with death and all things strange and dark. Keep this in mind. I was weird but hey, I made a couple weird friends so it wasn't too terrible. My favorite shows at this time were CSI: Las Vegas and Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. I also loved gory horror films, thrillers and weird anime. Neat!

Let's fast forward to year 2005, September (already a stressful and emotional month after 9/11/01, my uncle Marc lived only ten blocks away when that occurred but survived well and helped with clean up,) I was a month away from age 14, I believe, I was emotional. I was becoming; I was confused, awkward, angsty, dramatic and a little crazy. Found my way to cope with my friends Anxiety, Depression and new friend Hypermania by way of experimenting with different forms of self harm. You guessed it, I was a cutter and I dabbled in an assortment of substances.

I digress, it's September in 2005, my baby cousin is turning 3 years old, he's gonna have a party! I had the option of staying the night with family or staying with a friend, I chose my friends. The night before my baby cousins birthday party, my uncle Steve (baby cousins father and also my father figure), went to have a beer with someone he thought to be his good friend in need. He, tragically, was wrong. This man shot my uncle twice in the back, as well as committing other atrocious acts before attempting to flea the state.

This event spiked a long downward spiral which eventually led to an uphill battle and this very moment.

I was devastated. My whole family outraged, distraught, grieving, but together. Mental me, lost sight of 'together'. I was lost. I felt alone, hopeless, a nervous wreck, and guilty for choosing to stay with friends instead of family. This turned into depression and suicidal ideation, attempt. I was done, loss of purpose, "what's the point?" Extinction.

My first full hospitalization came after months of self-destruction. It was a very unpleasant experience for me. I was admitted to Research Hospital in their youth psychiatric care unit. They cut my favorite shoelaces off my favorite pair of shoes, striped me down to nothing, heavily medicated me, and told me not to worry. Most of my experience is veiled and distorted by medicine haze. However, I distinctly remember the nurse who was in charge of pm phone calls to home tell me, "I've seen a lot of kids like you, you'll be back again," or something to that effect. After my interaction with her all I remember was turning autopilot on to get myself out of that hospital as quickly and smoothly as possible. I said I felt better, "The meds must be working, I'm working on my steps to release, I'm ready to go home." I lied. I lied my face off. I wasn't ready, the meds weren't right; fake it til you make it out, right?

I stayed in out-patient for a little while with different doctors, different medicines. Faking it to make it. I eventually stopped going and stopped medication. I went through counseling on and off. And continued to self-harm and experiment with different substances. School, to me, was pointless. I stopped showing up, I skipped, got into trouble and eventually made the decision to drop out. For me, school was useless anxiety on top of my generalized anxiety, depression and hypermanic episodes. I was trouble, I was troubled. (Mom, I am so sorry for putting you through so much on top of everything we went through together.)

My mom and I had always had a rocky relationship. It was difficult to relate and be open with her. I'm not entirely sure why it took me so long to figure out she was always on my side and wanted what was best for me. I have some ideas why, but at this point in time they aren't pertinent because now I do have a very strong bond and great deal of respect for her. She loves me unconditionally, as I do her. Through ups and downs and hospital visits we became best friends. I am so grateful for it.

Since the loss of my uncle, I began the journey of my diagnosis and treatment but, not before finding out that my father died of a genetic heart condition called A.R.V.D. My grandma was diagnosed with it as well and has been treated and monitored. I decide, with my mom, that testing for this heart condition was important. In and out of hospitals I went! I was put under multiple stress tests in different variations (one of them I was put under anesthesia for.) Eventually, a temporary heart monitor was placed in my chest for further testing and then I lost insurance.

Here I am! Mental me, years later, without insurance and a dead heart monitor in my chest that should probably be removed soon.

Years have passed. I was hospitalized again after several years of self-harm, destruction, medicine and indulgence. Somehow, I met a few good friends and partners along the way that stayed by my side and helped me after this much brighter stint in the KU Med psychiatric ward.

My KU experience was much more helpful. I took it seriously and learned a great deal about myself, my issues, coping techniques; I learned and accepted that sometimes, hospital visits are necessary and beneficial to mental health and well-being. I knew after that visit that when I am at the point of severe or suicidal ideation there is a safe place to regroup, learn and get better.

Friends, it has taken years and years on this journey to get to this exact moment- Where I am the adult who may be a bit behind because I never planned to make it this far. Here I am! Mental me!

I have been off medications and out of hospitals for nearly four years. I've been through therapy and could always use more of it. It can be helpful. Reach out! Seek the help. Sometimes it will be easier than others to take that step, I know, but keep reaching. Find health coping that works for you. We are not alone even in our most isolated darkness.

When I started writing this I said I didn't have anything inspirational to say because this is all just a piece of my story. I think it's time for me to start sharing it. This is not finished because my story isn't over. And it's true, I never thought I would make it this far, but here I am, MENTAL ME! Let's keep going.

The darkness is temporary, the struggle is constant and the fight is forever. Please, keep fighting, help me fight.

With all my love,

-V

#stayherewithme #stayherewithus #suicideawareness #believeinstayinggold #artsaves #evenifitkillsme #keepreaching #seekhelp #TWLOHA #love #life #selfcare #selflove #beyou #getweird

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