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#Zoom in to see where Uzui’s hand is
udelnut · 2 years
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Breasties Besties!
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heyiwrotesomethings · 9 months
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a part 2 of Absolutely Not! thanks
Absolutely Not! Prt II
Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Demon Reader
A/N: Prt1 Really didn’t know what to do for another part so just a little catnip cop out. Hope you still enjoy it! Word Count: 1,436
Uzui couldn’t believe what buzzkills the other Hashiras were.
“Come on, it’ll be funny! Don’t you wanna see what’ll happen?”
It’s inappropriate, it’s in bad taste, that’s dumb, not worth my time, I’m an unflashy unfun loser blah blah blah. Not even Rengoku would join in, although that should not have been that surprising.
Well, Uzui would have fun on his own then. He wasn’t sure if it would work… but he was down for a little experiment. Kochou couldn’t be mad at him for a little joke if it was for science, right?
He smirked at the small potted plant in his hands. All he had to do was sneak this to the cat demon and watch the chaos unfold. How could no one else be curious if catnip would be effective on a cat demon?
Uzui silently navigated the halls, snooping around for the demon. The demonic presence she had was weak, so it was difficult to pinpoint exactly where she was. But he could feel that he was getting closer. He smiled, got ready to put on the charm, and turned the corner, running right into… Shinobu.
“Uzui-san,” she blinked, mildly surprised, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, Kochou, hey!” He kind of wanted to avoid her if he could help it, but given that she kind of had a demonic aura about her at the moment, he never stood a chance, “Do you know that you’re giving off a demonic energy? Kinda weird.”
Shinobu sighed, “No, I didn’t know that, but given how many head bumps (Y/n) insists on giving me, I am not surprised. Now why are you here? You look perfectly healthy.”
“What? Can’t a Hashira pay a fellow Hashira a visit?”
“They can, but you never visit me unless you need something. What do you have behind your back?”
“Oh, what? This?” Uzui presented the plant as if it was the most unassuming thing in the world, “My wives picked it out. Just a little thank you for when you took care of Hinatsuru when she was sick. I told ‘em I thought it was kinda unflashy but they thought the little purple flowers were cute so, here you go! Put it somewhere everyone can enjoy, yeah?” He put the pot into Shinobu’s hands.
“Uzui-san,” Shinobu twirled the potted plant in her hands, “do you think I’m an idiot?”
“Huh?”
“I know what you’re doing. This is nepetalactone, catnip.“ Shinobu was still all smiles, but an unmistakable shadow seemed to fall over her eyes. “Just what were you hoping to accomplish here?”
“H-hey— I didn’t know!” Uzui waved in hands defensively, “Like I said, my wives—“
“Your wives had already gifted me a lovely fruit basket a few days ago.”
“Well would you look at the time! I better go home, nice talking with you, Kochou!” And in a puff of smoke he was gone, leaving Shinobu alone with the catnip.
“He is much too old to be acting like such a child.” Shinobu shook her head in disbelief.
She looked back down at the plant and sighed. Now what was she going to do with this? Tea might be good, but she really didn’t want to risk exposing (Y/n) to the catnip in any form… no matter how curious she was about how she would react.
“To the woods with you then.” She decided, making her way through the mansion to the nearest door to the outside. As long as she didn’t run into (Y/n) along the way, all would be fi—
“Get out of Shinobu-sama’s house!” (Y/n) hissed as she skidded around the corner.
“Ah!” Shinobu hopped from one foot to the other as a chipmunk scurried between her legs and zoomed down the hall.
Having not seen Shinobu, (Y/n) ran into her before she could stop herself and they both fell to the ground. The pot upturned in the fall, covering them both in plant debris and soil.
“Oh no, Shinobu-sama, are you okay? I’m sorry! Someone left a door open somewhere and a chipmunk got in, but don’t worry I’ll… I’ll… oh, what is this?” She asked almost sluggishly rolling a leaf between her fingers. Shinobu snatched her wrist to make her stop.
“(Y/n), we must wash this off immediately, do you understand? Oof!”
(Y/n) face planted into Shinobu’s chest and the loudest purr Shinobu had ever heard from the demon began to rumble through her.
“(Y/n), are you okay? We should really get up.”
Slowly, (Y/n) rose her head and all Shinobu could see was a black abyss, her irises had been completely swallowed up by her pupils, something Shinobu had never seen to this severity. Sometimes when (Y/n) saw a bird through the window or she got the zoomies, her pupils would round out, but never to this extent.
“(Y/n)?” Shinobu tested again.
(Y/n) didn’t answer her, but her purring did get louder. She flopped back down and began rolling around nuzzling Shinobu every other roll across her body, further smushing the catnip as well.
Shinobu wanted to be serious, they were in the middle of the hall and covered in dirt, but she couldn’t help but chuckle as the cuddle attack persisted, (Y/n) leapt on top of her and attached to her back when she tried to get up.
Suddenly (Y/n) stiffened, alerting Shinobu to look ahead down the hall. The chipmunk was back.
“Kekekekeke!” (Y/n) clicked, bracing herself against Shinobu’s back in a hunting stance.
“Don’t you dare use me as a starting block. If you are going to act more cat than demon, then you had better shift before you cause any real damage.” Shinobu warned.
But (Y/n) wasn’t in a very rational state of mind to heed that warning. She sprung off of Shinobu’s back and chased after the chipmunk on all fours, slipping and tumbling multiple times because of the restrictiveness of her kimono.
“Oh no,” Shinobu got to her feet as well, mentally apologizing to whoever would have to clean the mess on her behalf, “(Y/n), come back! You better not eat it!”
With how hepped up she was in catnip, Shinobu was worried she’d hurt herself or someone else on accident so she couldn’t leave her alone. She ran after (Y/n) and it was thankfully not to hard to catch up to her. With her terrible coordination at the moment, she kept banging into walls and slipping on the floor. Shinobu tackled her and pinned her to the ground, trying to block the fleeing chipmunk from (Y/n)’s view. She really hoped someone else would take care of the little pest.
(Y/n) struggled and wiggled against Shinobu for a moment, but another hit of that sweet, sweet catnip had her docile as a lamb again before long and the purring started up again.
“There we go… just relax.” Shinobu lightly scratched behind (Y/n)’s ears, a known favorite spot, she smiled when (Y/n) snuggled into her hand and closed her eyes.
Then the cat demon began to shrink, but having seen the process on multiple occasions, Shinobu didn’t flinch. With an amused breath, she untangled the cat from the bundle of clothes and neatly folded said clothes before setting the cat on top of the pile and taking the whole thing in her arms.
“Let’s get you to bed so you’ll have a safe place to rest while this wears off.”
Shinobu placed (Y/n) on the bed and then got to work, placing all the contaminated clothes into the wash and putting on something fresh. She laid out a new kimono for (Y/n) as well to wear once she awoke. Then she took a moment to watch her sleep, all curled up in a ball.
Part of Shinobu really wanted to go to Uzui’s house and put laxatives in his afternoon tea, but in the other hand, a dusting of blush highlighted Shinobu’s cheeks, the over-excited cuddling had been rather sweet, pleasant even. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to grow a little catnip in the herb garden from now on. In smaller doses she could probably get the cuddly ratio she would like best.
Of course (Y/n) was rather cuddly normally, but Shinobu had felt a little jealous since Mitsuri came to visit a few days ago. Mitsuri was a cat whisperer and that extended to cat demons as well apparently. Shinobu would have liked more reassurance that (Y/n) liked her more, but of course she was too stubborn to tell the demon as much. The next time Mitsuri came to visit, Shinobu would have a secret weapon up her sleeve to keep the cuddles to herself.
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cutiemochiii · 9 months
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“I’m Looking…”
ANOTHER READER X ZENITSU
(I’m in love with my little clementine if you didn’t realize.)
IN WHICH YOU TAKE A TRIP BACK TO THE ENTERTAINMENT DISTRICT
ENJOY!
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Zenitsu was going to die. He was sure of it. He couldn’t get himself to breathe normally, even sprawled out on the ground like a star. He suddenly missed Rengoku, who had to leave him and his friends at the hands of Tengen, as he was busy with a mission. At least Rengoku took pity on them and bought them food after their training. It all made sense now, why you had passed out the one time they had come to visit Tengen’s estate.
While the rest of his friends talked as they caught their breaths, Zenitsu busied his mind with cursing Tengen and all of his ancestors.
Screw you, and your pretty wives, and your father, and your grandfather, and your grandfather’s grandfather-
Tanjiro had asked the group which mission location they would like to return to if they could.
None of them, Zenitsu thought to himself. If he ever saw any of those places again, it would be too soon.
“I want to ride the train again. I’ve never moved so fast without MOVING! We were like, zoom!” Inosuke stood up, sprinting in circles around them to demonstrate. Zenitsu heard your giggle and Tanjiro’s soft chuckle.
“What about you?” Tanjiro asked. Zenitsu glanced at you as you leaned back on your arms and quirked your head in thought.
“Hmm, if I could go back…” you smiled wishfully. “The Entertainment District.”
All of their eyes widened. Even Zenitsu shot up into a sitting position. “THE ENTERTAINMENT DISTRICT? WHERE WE FOUGHT THE CREEPY DOUBLE-DEMON DEMON?” He cried out.
You nodded. “Well, yeah. Uzui-san had said a lot about how beautiful it was when it wasn’t under attack. I just, wish we could’ve seen that side of it.” You sighed. Zenitsu had gone quiet. You, wanted to see the Entertainment District? He hadn’t thought you’d be someone who enjoyed places like that. He smiled mischeviously.
“I have an idea.”
~~~~
“No.” Tengen turned away. Zenitsu’s face fell. “What?” He followed after the giant man like a puppy.
Tengen stopped, Zenitsu smacking into his back.
Why did that feel like hitting a wall? Zenitsu rubbed his nose.
You looked at him sympathetically; he was trying very hard. You, Inosuke, and Tanjiro were hiding by the entrance to the training yard while Zenitsu attempted to convince the hashira. Tengen turned around. “It’s too dangerous now. Besides, you begged me to never send you back there again after we got back from the last mission.”
Tanjiro made a choked sound as he kept himself from laughing, Inosuke also clapping a hand over his own mouth as he let out a muffled chortle. You grinned. Zenitsu let out an exasperated groan. “Yeah- but, now I want to see it, since we defeated that demon. Besides,” Zenitsu retorted.
“Didn’t you say you were the God of Festivities? I really haven’t seen you live up to your title yet. That’s rather, unflashy, don’t you think?” He placed a finger to his chin, eyes gauging Tengen’s reaction.
~~~~
They all sat around Tengen in a half circle, his wives sitting by his side.
For some reason (Uzui-san wouldn’t tell them why), they were back in the Entertainment District. This time, his wives were safe and at his side. “I want to show you all my domain when it isn’t infested with demons. I want to give you a festivity for working so hard.” He had told them when they asked what the purpose of the trip was.
Zenitsu had given his friends a knowing wink.
Now they were listening to Tengen’s ground rules, Tanjiro and his wives nodding along enthusiastically. Zenitsu let out a fake yawn.
“I’m bored~” he whined. “If the demons won’t kill me, then your spiel will.” Tengen glared at him.
“What? I’m just saying. We’re not kids, we understand simple rules. Don’t follow strangers, don’t get in fights, be back at this building for the fire works, blah blah blah.” Zenitsu waved his hand around lazily. You stared at him. Did he have a death wish? “You should just let me leave to explore.” He shrugged.
Tengen merely narrowed his eyes. Clearly the kid was underestimating his sharp intuition. Zenitsu had been acting odd, ever since he asked to come to the Entertainment District. What was the reason? Besides the impending threat of demons, what was different now compared to last time? Tengen was quiet as he thought.
What was--?
It hit him. Zenitsu would’ve never come here of his own volition, and he doubted Tanjiro or Inosuke had been itching to come back either. So it must be, you. He was here for you.
Things began falling in place. Tengen’s eyes slid from you to Zenitsu. “Right.” He drawled. Tengen leaned back, crossing his arms. “Very well.” He looked at you. “You’re going with him. Make sure he doesn’t get himself into anything stupid while I finish talking to them.” He pointed at Tanjiro, Inosuke and his wives.
You nodded as Zenitsu stood up excitedly. “Great! See you guys in a bit.” He waved as he began to exit, you following not far behind him. Inosuke began to stand too.
“Not you.” Tengen warned. Inosuke turned slowly towards him.
“WHAT?!”
~~~~
Overwhelming. It was the only thing you could think as you took in all the sights and sounds on the street. Overwhelming in the way an ocean washed a person with an overwhelming sense of peace. Or in the way your family overwhelms you with happiness. Or a field of flowers overwhelms you with it’s lovely sweetness.
There were dancers swaying to music that followed behind them as the marching musiciens seemed to hypnotize them. There were artists, displaying the gorgeous whorls and streaks of color on their canvases. There were magicians, performing tricks for anyone who walked past.
And there were booths upon booths of mouth watering food. You may not have had any money, but your giddy appearance and glowing eyes were enough to convince the vendors to give you small plates of whatever you wanted. Zenitsu however, was not having the same luck. So he stuck to you, picking off your plate like a little orange scavenger. It made you laugh.
You did not let a single event slip past you, prancing with the dancers for a bit, complimenting artists for their talent, in awe of the small tricks the magicians displayed. It was quite refreshing for Zenitsu to see you so carefree, since it seemed you rarely let yourself feel that way.
~~~~
The both of you arrived at a booth by a wide river. Displayed at the booth was jewelry; beautiful necklaces of jade, rubies, and pearls. Bracelets of neatly carved stones of all kinds. You tugged Zenitsu closer to the booth, looking at the jewelry in fascination. You didn’t have much jewelry, it wasn’t smart to wear any when fighting. Zenitsu watched you carefully. Your eyes didn’t budge from one of them. A bracelet of twine with different shades of orange stones woven into a tight pattern. It was very beautiful, and would be easy to wear even when fighting, as you could tell it would wrap securely around your wrist.
The vendor caught you staring at the bracelet. “Do you like it?” He asked curiously. You flinched, nodding shyly.
“It’s a very beautiful piece.” You admitted. He grinned at you.
“In a few minutes, everyone gathered around the booth will participate in stone skipping.” He pointed at the people by the river. “Whoever can skip their stone the farthest, gets to pick a jewelry of their choice to take with them.” You nodded with a small smile, the excitement in your eyes from earlier flickering.
I don’t know how to skip rocks.
As you were lost in thought, Zenitsu scouted for a smooth pebble around the booth. He found one, tossing it and snatching it out of the air with an easy smile. “Thank you sir.” Zenitsu bowed. The man nodded at him in acknowledgement.
You caught up to Zenitsu who strode away confidently. “What are you doing?” You whispered softly. He looked at you with a grin.
“What do you mean? I’m going to skip this stone.” Your eyebrows rose.
“You can do that?” Zenitsu chuckled. “I lived by a river when I was younger. Skipping rocks was basically the only thing I’d do all day.” You nodded slowly.
You and Zenitsu stood beside the line of people by the river. It was wider than it had looked from by the booth, and it made you wonder if Zenitsu could really get it farther than anyone else.
People beside you started tossing the rocks at the water, some of them making it a decent distance, while some just plopped and faded away into the abyss. But the energy of the crowd didn’t fade, everyone seemed to be having fun. Finally, it was Zenitsu’s turn.
You gave his arm a gentle squeeze, and he looked at you with a confident gaze. “Watch.” He muttered.
Zenitsu took a deep breath.
Thunder Breathing.
You didn’t even notice the stone as it flew out of his hand, fast enough that you were certain a spark came off of his fingertips. He was crouched, watching the stone zip quickly over the water. His smile began to grow as it passed where other stones had sunk.
It had passed them, and was almost at the other side.
The crowd’s cheering began to get louder as the rock got closer to the other end of the river. It finally landed in the grass, and the crowd broke out into whoops and shouts, some people clapping Zenitsu on the shoulder. “Great throw son!” You heard people yell at him.
You squealed with giddiness, skipping in circles around Zenitsu. “You did it, you did it, you DID it!” You gave him a quick hug, body buzzing with excitement. Zenitsu beamed, matching your energy. The both of you walked back to the booth, the man watching Zenitsu in surprise.
“Well kid, you definitely earned this one.” He said with a grin as Zenitsu pointed at the bracelet you were looking at earlier. “I would like that one.”
How had he known…?
The man handed it to him. Zenitsu bowed gratefully, turning to you. “Here.” He grabbed your hand, lifting your arm. He gently wrapped the bracelet around your wrist. “So you don’t forget how far I skipped that rock.” You giggled at his teasing.
The bracelet glowed as you tilted your arm back and forth. The orange rocks would serve as a constant reminder of Zenitsu. You smiled at the thought.
~~~~
Finally, it was time for the fireworks. Zenitsu grabbed the sleeve of your kimono as he ran, pulling you with him. You two made it to the building just in time, Tengen and the rest of your friends waiting for you by the door.
Tengen led you up to the roof of the building. You showed off your bracelet to your friends as Inosuke showed off his string necklace (it was a necklace strung with dumplings, but Inosuke had already devoured them), and Tanjiro pulled out a soft green scarf that he bought Nezuko for the winter. Everyone had enjoyed their time in their own way, even Tengen and his wives, their faces colored with beautiful matching designs.
The first sparks in the sky silenced their conversations, and you gasped as you watched the fireworks fall to the earth like a colorful rain. It fascinated you, you had never seen them so close.
“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” You tugged on Zenitsu’s sleeve to get his attention. But you didn’t notice that his attention was already on you. He watched the glitter in your eyes as you stared in wonder at the light show before you.
“Yeah, it is.” He agreed softly. You hadn’t looked at him yet. “Zenitsu! Look there, look there!” You pointed at each firework that went off.
“I’m looking…” Zenitsu was looking, just not at what you were pointing to. Tengen saw him watching you out of the corner of his eye.
The fireworks lit up the dark sky, each one a color that you didn’t realize existed. Some even two different colors at once.
They sparkled beautifully, practically like stars.
Your eyes, that is. The fireworks were okay too, Zenitsu thought with a soft smile. He didn’t realize Tengen had gotten closer to him, putting a hand on his jaw and making him face the fireworks. It made Zenitsu’s face burn with embarrassment, having been caught staring like that. But Tengen only dawned a knowing smile. “Don’t miss the moment.” He whispered to the kid.
Zenitsu nodded absentmindedly, allowing himself to move just a bit closer to you. No, he wouldn’t miss the moment. In fact, he’d probably never forget it.
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Author’s Note: Listen, if Akaza can have a romantic moment watching fireworks, you and Zenitsu can too 😤 anyways, UGH IM SO IN LOVE W HIM I SWEAR. I hope I continue to make you fall farther in love with the soft squish that is Zenitsu. Also, we love a supportive Tengen ;-; Till next time lovelies!!
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iilko · 4 years
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Single dad sanemi, tengen and flaming cheetos pillar picking up the wrong kid at school on halloween?
Single Father’s Accidentally Leave Their Children Behind (and have people critique their parenting skills.) 
Count: 1k-2k words.
苦あれば楽あり。
Sanemi Shinazugawa
When you don’t get out of the car so you pick up the wrong child.
Sanemi was definitely the type of father who doesn’t get out of the car and stand outside for his child.
There’s no way he’s doing that.
Even on Halloween, he’s just going to sit in the car.
Does he even remember his child’s costume? Wait, yes he does, it’s the Kaonashi spirit from that Ghibli movie. 
He remembered cause they nearly gave him a heart attack this morning.
So yeah, he’s waiting in the car and he’s not going to get out.
That means his child has to remember what their car looks like and enter it.
Sanemi doesn’t lock his doors either, so his kid is just stepping into the car and closing it and that’s the routine.
Sanemi is just looking at the highway, doesn’t even bother looking at the rearview mirror AS HE SHOULD when the car door opens and closes
This dude just starts zooming, the child ain’t even say a word yet, he’s just ready to go.
It’s probably like five minutes into the drive when the child is like
“Can we get McDonald’s?”
Sanemi knows what his child sounds like and
That’s … That’s not his kid.
The fucking thing’s not even wearing the same outfit, the child’s dressed like the fucking donkey from Shrek.
So now Sanemi is turning the whole car around, cursing up a storm and is teaching this child stuff they shouldn’t be knowing at their young age.
And the child won’t shut up either, asking shit like “what’s that?” or “what’s this?”, “is that a bad word?”, “my mommy said your face is scary.”
By the time they get back to school, there’s like five policemen, seven adults all huddling together yelling their ass off, and his dolled up child thumbing a toy monkey.
It’s a shit storm the minute Sanemi gets out, now his parenting skills are being questioned and his child is complaining about a lollipop stuck on the back of their head.
Don’t you just hate when you have to be reasonable and not yell at the police so you don’t get arrested in front of your child? Me too.
45 min later him and his kid are on their way home and it’s silent.
How is possible to be in an awkward situation with your child? 
Just utter awkward silence.
His kid asks for McDonald’s because that’s all kids ever ask for but also because they know Sanemi has to get McDonald’s for them as compensation for almost leaving them behind. Yes, his child is manipulative… they get it from their mom.
Sanemi: “You want McDonald’s? Yea, I’ll get you fucking McDonalds.”
Ever since then, Sanemi stands outside the car and waits for his child like a good parent or whatever the fuck those are.
“And you have to go with me to trick-or-treating tonight.”
“You’re pushing it, brat.”
Tengen Uzui
When you bring the wrong child home and your girlfriend (s) scream at you and you call the parents of the child but the mom is flirting with you because you’re sexy and her man is failing to suffice her needs as her romantic partner and now you’re wondering about the environment their kid lives in on a daily basis. *inhales*
Hear me out, Tengen is a great dad, okay.
He’s the dad every kid wants, buys them whatever they want and rarely scolds them.
Takes them out to arcades and theaters or brings them to his work and everything.
His girlfriends are so sweet too, imagine having three moms that aren’t annoying and cook for you whenever you want. They weren’t here every day, but when they were it was fun. 
His girlfriends are the ones who help pick out his kid’s costume for Halloween.
Which is a boiled lobster? 
His kid wanted to be a boiled lobster for Halloween.
The mind of a child is truly something else.
So yeah, his kid went to school as a boiled lobster and you’d think that no one else would dress up their kid as a boiled lobster for halloween.
I mean, what are the odds, right?
Apparently, the odds are high cause someone dresses up their kid as a lobster too, only they went up a notch and added a freaking pot the child could sit in at times.
Talk about showing off.
So there’s two little kids walking the school grounds as lobsters and no one’s able to differentiate the two and it’s kind of sad.
The teacher’s don’t even put like a sticker to label them they just let the cute kids walk around looking identical.
So when it’s the end of the day and he’s waiting to pick up his kid and he sees just a peach-colored lobster running out of the school, he just picks them up with ease, gives them a kiss (not that the kid can feel it, but it’s the sentiment that matters)
He’s already buckled them up and while the kid is yapping, Tengen can’t really distinguish it under the costume so he’s just agreeing with everything that’s being babbled.
It gets to the point though the kid is so talkative, it’s got him a bit amused. Were they this much of a talker? 
So he’s just pretending to understand what’s being said until the ride home.
Kid’s already taken the buckle off and hopped out of the car and Hinatsuru is standing outside holding a cloth eager for the kid.
[Your girlfriend(s) will always abandon you for something cuter.]
Tengen hasn’t even locked the car when Hinatsuru starts screaming her head off
Here he’s thinking her life is in danger and he rounds the car, Suma and Makio must have thought the same because they’re suddenly standing outside too, but no Hinatsuru is just yelling because that’s not his kid..
“Whose child is this?! Tengen, who is this?”
Tengen just double-takes.
This kid with chubby red cheeks was adorable yeah but…
That’s not his kid, fuck.
(His kid is way cuter, more flamboyant, mind you.)
Now, all of them are yelling while this little toddler is looking back and forth with the biggest eyes he’s ever seen, christ.
Slowly, the yelling dissolves into some solutions. After-school is probably starting and the office should still be open, they could call and ask around.
The kid finally talks again and tells them their name and everything. Hinatsuru takes the child in and she tries to get them some apple juice or something.
It’s an hour of calling people and jumping around and staying in waiting lists that he finally gets a hold of the kid’s mom.
My god, she’s pissed at first. Yeah, she has his kid but the venom dripping off her words are insane, it doesn’t really feel as if it’s directed to him specifically but a woman’s scorn burns everything it touches.
However, you don’t get three girlfriends just being anybody. He’s charismatic and smart with his words.
So, it’s only after like five minutes of talking that he’s able to ease up her biting language and allow him to pick up his child.
Minute she sees him, she’s hooked, he could always see the signs.
She has his kid right beside her, a hand on their shoulder, but she’s not giving them up yet. No, she starts asking questions about him, about his life and what he does. She’s leaning in and listening intently to what he has to say; her eyes never breaking point with his. A manicured hand roams her collarbone with an agonizing slowness and as she leans against the doorframe, she crosses her legs.
Feminine wiles, he was aware of them and he pitied any man that drowned in them. It was the strategy he respected, though.
What was even worse was that he could even see the wedding ring that glistened on her ring finger… Yikes, what kind of awkward environment was their child in? Maybe, he should schedule dates for their kid to come over…
The mother was in a trance and it doesn’t pop until he hears his kid look at her and say, “My dad has three girlfriends!”
And her kid goes, “My mom has a secret boyfriend too!”
Welp.
Kyojuro Rengoku
Kyojuro is a favorite at his kid’s school.
It’s pretty hard for him to pick him up the wrong kid. There’s only one child with eyebrows like his, and he loves them very much!
Plus, they dressed up as the Nyango Star and that was a rare mascot.
You see, Kyojuro is well known at his kid’s school for his eyebrows and hair and the fact he gives the kids money and candy if they ask.
Because of that, the kids love him, it crazy, some of them love him more than their own parents… 
His kid has a lot of friends too and they all love going to his house to play or spend the night.
So, he’s not surprised when he sees like five kids and his run over to him and ask to come over. Kumamon, Umabeh, Octopus, Sushi Roll, Dinosaur, and his beloved Nyango Star all come over and harass him to take them home.
He’s a bit of a pushover with children, he can’t help it, they’re just so cute.
Of course, he greets each parent and tells them about where their child is heading over too.
But now that means he’s stuffing six kids into a car and no-o his kid just has to go pee before they buckle up.
Now, Kyojuro is unzipping their costume a bit and is watching them run back into the school to pee. He’s just ready to take them home and let them have fun.
Also pictures, he’s taking a lot of pictures because they looked so adorable! He’d plaster them on the wall and everything and he’d parade it in their face when they are older and capable of feeling embarrassed.
They’re all waiting for his kid again but then Kyojuro hears a door on the side open and close and he just assumes that it’s his kid, cause y’know, who else would come into this car.
He’s already moving the vehicle when the kids are yelling at him that his kid isn’t here yet! Wait!
Wait.. what?
He brakes, cranes his head and sees some child dressed as a yellow and red clown crouching in his car with huge, wet eyes.
Kumamon-bo points out, “she’s crying, Rengoku-san!”
Clown baby’s face is wet, her makeup is dripping.
then Octopus-chan says, “she looks like Rengoku-san!”
And all the kids are yelling and tittering while this young baby is about to scream.
Kyojuro slowly moves back to the school grounds and there he sees his kid and two parents standing there worryingly.
Of course, his kid is crying too and just clings to his pant leg when he gets out. The kids in the car (minus the little clown) are acting like this is the funniest thing they’ve ever seen in their little life.
Kyojuro’s kid accuses him of not wanting them which is far from the truth but he lets them cry it out as he picks them up and eagerly apologizes to the clown girl’s parents for the mishap.
On the road he offers the loud children food, and that’s the story as to why there’s six toddlers in wrinkled yuru-chara costumes with one grown man all noisily eating Okonomiyaki in a family restaurant.
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