So langsam kommt die Zeit wo ich mich immer mehr nach Kuscheln, Liebe , Zweisamkeit und nach einer langsam voranschreitenden Beziehung mit Zukunftsplänen sehne……..
( please don’t ask me anything please. Just sit next to me , talk about the most random shit or just hold my hand and watch the moon with me)
—this is sadness. There’s no way to explain it. It’s too much and it’s nothing. It kills me but nobody can see it. It gets worse when you ask me to explain it. I can’t. I want to but I can’t. I’ll be okay, just stay with me let me cry in your arms , let me just sit next to you. I’ll be okay , I promise.
I think what scares me the most is when I wake up someday; I'd know that if I only made up you in my mind. I'm truly terrified that I'm just a dreamer wanting something which I may never get? I'm afraid if I'm yearning for something that doesn't exist?
I know it's kinda dangerous to love someone for the version we've made of themselves but I can't help. I have you inside my head atleast.
the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again