#Yandere crack
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Halsin; *Flirting with Darling* perhaps- once this is all over- I will be able to find time for myself... and others.
Darling; oh, time to do what?
Halsin; I can think of a few things.
Yandere Astarion; *ready to stab and drain Halsin* this bitch-!
#kiame-sama#yandere#x reader#yandere x reader#reader insert#tw yandere#incorrect yandere quotes#yandere crack#yandere bg3
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MC giving the Yandere’s the Side eye
Warning: Crack, Cursing, Yandere
The MC’s gender is up for the reader to decide btw
(I decided to write this before school starts so have fun)
——
Riddle: What the fuck… how dare you not acknowledge his speech, his 30 minute essay that he worked sweat and tears on. He memorized the whole damn thing. For what?
He proceeded to stare at you back while you both had a staring contest. He could do this all day-
-Illuminati music-
As he was staring into your eyes when he started to see his whole past flash before his eyes. How his only friend besides Trey and Chenya was his homework, to his mom not letting him eat a tart-
Wait, is that Bob Ross painting happy trees?!
It felt so overwhelming.
Next thing you know, Riddle let you go back home with tears in his eyes. He transferred out of the NRC.
—————
Leona:
He was mad that you just stared at him. He kept staring at you back with at you until,
MC: “ tf are you looking at you walking second place trophy looking mother fucker-“
The whole dorm had to hold him back while you ran for your dear life home.
———
Azul:
Mc: “Bitches?”
Azul: “What are you talking about-“
Mc: “You kidnapped me because you had no bitches isn’t that correct? Shit with this attitude you have, you don’t even talk to me at school, after school and when you do it’s for business? The only friends you have are the Eels and even then they’re gonna get bored of you what then? You look mad stupid kidnapping me. 🤨”
Azul: *sniffling* …
Mc: “That’s what I thought you 50% off Squidward”
———
Kalim:
Kalim: 😃
Mc: 🤨
Kalim’s face slowly dropped as he felt like he made a mistake.
You got to go home with some gold as an apology.
———
Jamil:
As you both stared at each other he tried to use his unique magic but it didn’t work because you were staring at his forehead.
Mc: “Damn bitch you got a big ass forehead, I remember me and Grimm played Tic tac toe on your forehead once while you were sleeping-“
Jamil: “WAIT WHAT-“
———
Vil: Vil rolled his eyes as you side stared at him.
Mc: “You kidnapping me is some motherless behavior.”
He kicked you out faster than you can say motherless.
Rook had to cheer up Vil watching Soap Opera with him on the couch and some Ice cream while Vil sobs that you broke up with him.
———
Idia:
Idia couldn’t handle the tension. He kept looking away to avoid your gaze. It was like the whole school watching his every move.
He started to cry after 2 minutes of you staring at him in silence.
Idia: “THE EXIT IS ON THE LEFT, PLEASE JUST DONT HURT MY FAMILY-“
———
Malleus:
Malleus stared at you back thinking this was a human thing. It soon began to be a 3 hour staring contest with no blinking.
Malleus soon saw your eyes turning fully black and you were whispering some Satanic shit from ChernaBog or whatever the tf.
You gave Malleus trauma, Sebek hates you, you got to go home.
Malleus still gets nightmares of it crying into Lilia’s shoulder.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland malleus#twisted wonderland riddle#yandere malleus x reader#yandere vil x reader#yandere malleus draconia#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere idia shroud#yandere kalim al asim#yandere azul ashengrotto#yandere jamil viper#Yandere crack
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Alright, let me get this straight. These are the yanderes. (in a nutshell)
Silas: I DON'T CARE WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO, I WANT THAT FUCKER DEAD *gets on the phone with reader* Hi baby, awww you just wanted to tell me you loved me? I love you too~
Dr. Kry: Yes I know I am slowly killing you even though I'm your doctor...BUT PLEASE I AM SO LONELY JUST MARRY ME.
King Edmund: *just casually murdered a bunch of men while having lunch with the reader in the garden* Did you have a splendid day today my sweet~
Jerry: *Rabidly shakes reader" WHY. AM. I. SO. ATTRACTED. TO. YOU!
Hedwig: *Literally just tossing gifts on reader until they are suffocating in the pile*
That is all.
HAH OMG
you're so right????? how the fuck do you all manage to capture the characters so well? I'm so impressed
Jerry is so spot on i love it. She's just a little confused but she's trying her best :,)
Edmund's wife will most likely not have a good day thank you very much, but i'm not sure Edmund will care.
i love these messages so much thank you so much <3333
#yandere crack#yandere incorrect quotes#yandere ocs#yandere ocs x reader#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere thoughts#yandere imagines#yandere doctor#yandere mafia#yandere king#yandere female#yandere girl
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BLD Crack Fic ~ Max
Content Warnings! tw gaslighting tw manipulation tw (hinted at) death
Max belongs to @hotpinkmoon !
You were tired. So tired.
You knew what you signed up for when you got into a relationship with Max.
The attention. The stares. The parties.
But you had to admit...even you had your limits when it came to all the excitement. I mean come on. It seemed like the entire town was interested in you and Max's life.
And also the fact that some of Max's friends would disappear if they got to close to you-
And how you felt like someone was always watching you-
Although to be fair, you did try to see who it was one time. And was promptly embarrassed when it was just another one of Max's fans curious about who he was dating.
Am I just overthinking?
No but... it still didn't explain how Max always managed to find you somehow.
Including that time you specifically hid in a trash bin because you know he doesn't like dirty things.
And somehow he had a reliable excuse for all those 'coincidences' ...including the trash bin thing.
Though he had a pretty convincing confused expression when his friend lifted the trash bin lid to throw something away- and there you were.
Sitting in the trash bin.
Which totally was not at all embarrassing in any way.
Okay... maybe you were overreacting.
But still!
Overreacting or not, you were tired of all the constant attention. The almost complete lack of personal or other-friends time.
"Max...I can't to this anymore. I need my beauty sleep. A fan of yours broke into my apartment one time!" You exasperated, annoyed with this insanity and losing your mind.
Max cocked his eyebrow at you, confusion spreading on his face before a small huff of laughter escaped his pretty lips.
Wait- stop focusing on how pretty he is!
"That, don't worry cutie- was me." Max said, grinning smugly. Pouting a bit when he noticed how you were glaring daggers at him. But his smile quickly returned as he rolled his eyes with a playful smirk, "We're dating, Y/n. It's normal to miss your lover sometimes. I just dropped in to check on you." The words rolled smoothly off his tongue.
Still, relentless, you looked him firmly in the eyes.
"Well we aren't dating anymore."
Max paused a bit at this for a moment.
Did his mask finally break? Was he going to have a serious conversation for once?
"That's a pretty interesting way to propose. But I mean... I'm not complaining~"
The atmosphere was completely shattered by Max's words.
"Y.. You.. that's not what... I'm going to throw you!" You fumed loudly, some of the people in the cafe the ones who weren't 'subtly' staring before looking over at you.
Max's grin grew. And you instantly regretted your choice of words.
"Yeah? Well you better be rough then. Oh- but save that for the bedroom, cutie. I like attention... but that's for my eyes only." Max replied quickly, in a bantering tone.
"AUGHHHH" Your frustrated scream filled the space between you and Max and those who were peeping in on your conversation
Yet despite all that, still falling on deaf ears.
Whispers on how you and Max were a silly couple followed you out of the coffee shop.
Max smugly waving goodbye with one hand and pointing to his ring finger with the other.
#i really liked writng this lol#I feel like max is a bit easier for me to write#i apologize if its ooc though o-o;;#i wonder if anyone reading this caught onto the unique way i imagine Max would be able to stalk Y/n#please comment / reblog your thoughts#its good feedback for my writing >:)#i swear this was just going to be incorrect quotes in the beginning#yandere crack#yandere x you#yandere x reader#BloodLust Devotion#bloodlustdevotion#possum scribs
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Do you think Ratio has the stereotypical 'doctor's handwriting'?
I know he isn't a practicing physician but, he does have a PhD in medicine so imagine, just IMAGINE : Ratio who writes his most ardent confession to you in a letter because words betray him when he's faced with you but the ten page letter is barely intelligible so you show it to Aventurine who knows exactly what's up and tells you, “That's a lot of medicine Doc prescribed to you. You should consider doing a serious health checkup.”
You bolt to Ratio in panic but are shell-shocked when he tells you that he isn't “mentally prepared to tell you everything” and keeps on delaying the confrontation. This leaves you tossing in bed, unable to focus on anything and constantly paranoid because you think you have a serious illness while Ratio's just biting his fingernails thinking he's going to get rejected and Aventurine who's wheezing by the sidelines.
Or, Aventurine did it deliberately to sabotage any potential of romance between you and Ratio idk.
#crack idea or something but this nearly had me laugh out loud#dr ratio brainrot#aventurine brainrot#dr ratio x reader#aventurine x reader#yandere dr ratio#yandere dr ratio x reader#yandere aventurine x reader#yandere aventurine#hsr x reader
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AaAaaaHHHHHH I loved your “Things that the citizens of the Devildom witnessed that will prove that this Human have the characters at their beck and call” post lol :P
Could you plssssss do it w the side characters? Especially barbatos I love him. He’s my bbg lol
Sure, I'm actually just waiting for someone to request it :P
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Things that the citizens of the Devildom witnessed that will prove that this Human have the characters at their beck and call
Versions: Demon Brothers, Side Characters
Warnings: Slight yandere themes (Barbatos, Simeon)
Links: Masterlist
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DIAVOLO
He doesn't actually like going around
Sure, it's mentioned a lot of times that he want to visit this or that
But only if you or the others are willing to come with him
Otherwise it's as boring as doing paperworks
He won't even come out to meet important personalities
They need to come to the castle themselves because there's no damn way Diavolo will actually use effort to meet people he's actually not too close to.
But when it's you?
Damn, you better bet the moment you told him "Hey, Diavolo... I'm kind of stuck in the plaza and the brothers are surely too busy to pick me up so can you send me a driver..?"
How dare you ask for a driver?
When he's literally right there?
The moment the words "I'm kind of stuck in the plaza-" He's already in his most luxurious car starting it to get his future spouse
Hell, he'll even bought a flower before getting to you
And you two will make a scene
And you two will surely make it to the news tomorrow
He'll arrive to the place in something quite formal yet still casual
With a bouquet of flowers in his hands
Like the perfect future husband he is
And open the door for you to get in
And if you're asking why Barbados didn't do anything against him...
Well, he's got a few mouse friends there for help.
Anyways, enjoy the ride
And sign the marriage papers
Please
BARBATOS
His power holds such an important role for Diavolo
He's such a powerful "demon"
It would actually be quite nice if you were just a little more closer to him
But if you are...
He's willing to use this oh so important power for you like it's just a mere toy
You fell on the stairs and someone saw it? Reversed.
You failed a test? Reversed.
You made the wrong decision? Reversed.
If Diavolo actually saw how much he's rambling the time lines just for you he'll go insane.
Hell, he'll pass out when he knows that Barbatos is letting you use his power like he's some hourglass!
But Barbatos knows you
And he likes you
He knows that someone like you won't actually take advantage of his power like that
And would always choose to do things without it
He knows that he's your last resort
And he loves it
He loves that fact that you treasure his power so much
That you treasure him so much...
His power might seem to be the most important tool for you among the other abilities the brothers and the others gave you
And so that basically puts him above the food chain
And he'll stay there
He'll make sure you will view him as important as right now
For all internity
SIMEON
He treasures himself and the people around him so much
But mostly himself
Because that's what father told them to do
He treat his body like the temple of god
He'll walk around the Devildom with pride in himself
Not too much but not too less
He knows his worth
So when he met you
Such a wonderful human
He will also teach you how to put pride in yourself
And always be proud on what you're doing
And then he'll start to get drawn to you
The body he oh so treasured now treated like a toy for you
He once valued naturality but maybe using this makeup you love so much will make him appear more attractive?
"Oh, Simeon? Did you use some foundation and mascara?! That looks so good on you!"
Yes, MC.
Just look at him
It all started with dressing up more for you
Then it escalated
The body he once didn't let anyone touch is now open for you
Just for you
Hold his hand
Grab his waist
And use his shoulders
Ha...
God won't punish him for a little touch now would he..?
SOLOMON
He's shady and he knows it
It's been so long and he's been around may too many people
He doesn't know who to trust anymore
And who to be honest with
He always have to keep himself alarmed and ready
Because that's what the past taught him to do
And that's what the present is telling him to do
Oh, another human?
How nice...
He just hope you don't end up like him
Overly conscious
You know what... He'll help you
He doesn't want a human to fall to the same hole he is right now
He thought that he'll be the one to guide you
He didn't know that you'll guide him...
And now he's willing to do anything for you
He's willing to follow you anywhere
He's willing to give you anything
He's willing to be your loyal servant
Just like Barbatos, he's willing to use everything he have just keep you by his side
Whether it be human, demon, angel connections, money or power
It can be anything and he'll give it you
To the human who showed him the light once again.
MEPHISTOPHELES
He's a private person
That's why he has a whole ass room reserved just for him in the academy
It can't help but have his blood boiling whenever one of the brothers barging into his room unannounced
The sense of nervousness won't leave him whenever Diavolo came to visit him
And the mixed feelings when the other exchange students decided to drop by
But when you enter his room
The light started to get a little darker
And the atmosphere turned into something heavier yet more comforting feeling
Have you drank anything you're not supposed to drink human?
What's this atmosphere around you human?
Did you... Cast a spell on him human?
To be honest
It'll be better for him to know that you cast a love spell on him
Than for him to consciously know that he's falling for you
Falling for the human others already love
But he can't help but say "Why don't you stay a little longer, MC?" Whenever you drop by.
"You can stay and do your assignments or whatever here. I have a vast collection of books you might need."
It might be selfish but why don't you stay a little longer?
Stay inside this private room with him
And only him.
RAPHAEL
He's known as a hitman
And his job down here is to probably spy on Simeon or Lucifer
But this weird human caught his eyes...
Maybe he should spy on you too?
Hmm... Why are you so different?
Are you the premium version of human?
But either way...
He saw how tired you were after each day ends
It looks like this place have sucked any living hope and energy out of you
So he took this as a problem and decided to come up with a solution
He decided to help you run around errands and even take some of your work loads
Gosh... You're so busy
So tiring
Sometimes you two will just find yourself in the dark and unused alley of the school
Sitting on the floor with each others head on your shoulder
You'd mutter "So tired..." And he will pat your head to help you at least have a few minutes of nap between work.
And before he knows it
It became a habit for the two of you
Instead of going to the dark alley you decided to take some nap in the cafeteria and even on empty classrooms
The Brothers will not found you two scattered all over the academy sleeping on each other
And before he even noticed
Whenever the slightest danger occurs he's already jumping in front of you and pushing you back as he shield your fragile body
THIRTEEN
She's such a trouble maker
And you're an expert in keeping trouble makers in line
And Thirteen will make sure she don't follow that line!
She keeps on pulling pranks
Traps here
Traps there
Gosh will she ever stop
Then one day you got so busy that your usual scolding for her didn't happened
Not even once
She felt empty without your nagging voice I guess?
But that doesn't matter!
At least, now, no one will stop her from doing what she loves!
No one...
Will stop her?
But who will scold her when she's about to do an extremely dangerous prank where she might get hurt?
Who will treat her wounds when she accidentally scratched her with one of her schemes?
It's been just a few days without your nagging voice and she's already at your doorstep in the middle of a night on a weekend asking
"Are you ignoring me?"
"Why aren't you talking to me anymore?"
"Are you tired of me now..?"
It feels like she'll start crying if she says anything more so you just denied everything and said that your schedule have been fully packed
Even saying that you're a new member of the council so you became more busy
She felt so embarrassed after that
But she started to treasure your relationship more
And maybe...
Waiting in the line is not that big of a deal if it's for you...
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me fluff#obey me crack#obey me angst#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#obey me drabbles#obey me x reader#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me mephistopheles#obey me raphael#obey me thirteen#obey me mc#obey me yandere#omswd#om
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[Fast Food Reader gets kidnapped by the ball pit entity's cult for the thousandth time. They hang over the ball pit with a knife point at their neck as the leader of the cult chants.]
Fast Food Reader, whispering to the ball pit: Psst- Can you just tell your weird cult I have immunity or something.
[The cult leader stops abruptly]
Cult Leader: Hey, Hey - Whoa, easy. We aren't a cult.
Fast Food Reader:. You aren't a cult..... And I can just get a new job in a different city without everyone "mysteriously" disappearing after my first shift.
Cult Member: I'll start a cult for you - and let you free!..... If you give me a kiss in exchange 👉👈
[Several of the cult members ooo]
Cult Leader: Can you idiots not flirt with this vile devil who has lead our lord astray?! If labels are so important to you - we're a fan club.
Fast Food Reader: ...I think we have two very different ideas of the word fan club.
#Fast Food Reader#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere insert#yandere headcanons#yandere oc#yandere blurb#crack post
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Procrastination doodle. I think sabo ends up looking a bit insane whenever I draw him because I never want to get rid of his round bug eyes
#one piece#sabo#I’m actually kind of curious where the fandom characterization of sabo as a yandere comes from.#like yes he is excited to crack someone’s skull but that someone is a marine#to me he just reads very. can be violent if necessary and definitely has chaotic energy from being a feral forest gremlin#but not necessarily yandere
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I want y’all to know I’ll be back once I’m done having my fill w/ the new update LMAOO
In the mean time why did he do this when I gave him an egg😭😭😭😭
#stardew valley#alex stardew valley#alex sdv#stardew valley 1.6#spoilers#every other time I give him an egg he’s normal and like thanks this is great for bulking up#but this time he was like lemme just crack that bad boy right open#alright fuckin Gaston lmao???#also I’m still using the Yandere mod tho this is my oc Elijah#I made him years ago but I wanted to remake his file bc I haven’t touched it in years#and it has like 100+ hours on that farm#anyways massive adv brain rot rn#none of you will escape me
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i was reading platonic yandere bat fam when the thought struck me: there's no way bruce wayne or any of his sons know what kosher is (alfred being the exception)
imagine bruce losing his shit over thinking you're trying to go on a hunger-strike......yeah he's quick to put a stop to that, demanding you finish the food on your plate
the rest of the batfamily, who are also at the dining table, silently nod in agreement, staring at you while you innocently blink a couple of times before looking back at the meat on your plate
"oh," you say "that. i just didn't know if it was kosher is all"
and the entire bat family is sitting there, the gears in their brain turning because "what is kosher???" and one or two of them even confront you about it, demanding to know why you're lying
--when Alfred, who witnessed the entire ordeal, leans over and explains "Master Bruce, kosher is a type of religious food, meaning the animal must be killed and prepared in a certain way, so as to satisfy the rules of kosher"
dick, jason, tim, and damian:
#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#x reader#imagine#crack post#yandere x reader#scenarios#gn reader#yandere#batman#dc#dc universe#dc x reader
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28-Years Darling: Do you, or do you not feel Bonita~?
Silva: *in pigtails with a pink tutu on and random makeup he let his wife put on him, deadpan* ... I feel Bonita.
28-Years Darling: Wonderful, because you look Bonita~!
#kiame-sama#yandere#x reader#yandere x reader#reader insert#tw yandere#hxh yandere#yandere male#yandere crack#hxh 28 years#28 years story
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Neuvillette comes off as so charming and subtly manipulative, i think it’s a guarantee that he would win over any in-laws easily.
Imagine Neuvillette slowly developing an obsession with you, but instead of framing you or approaching you directly, he has a few ‘run ins’ with your parents. Helping them with issues that suddenly weren’t there in the past, financial problems, a waning reputation made worse by certain rumors. He really does present himself as the perfect son-in-law. He makes your entire family reliant on him so when the time comes you’ll have no choice but to accept him with the eager approval of everybody around you and the financial pressure building up.
OMG OMG OMGG THIS IS SO TRUE LISTEN.
Imagine you first meet this man in like a vegetable or fruits market (doesn't matter if it is modern au or not) and YOU HATE HIS ASS cus you have been looking at those oranges and apples for hours now and want the best ones and when you come neuvillette is there at the same time AND HE JUST CONVENIENTLY WANTS THOSE.
Que you arguing with him without knowing who he even is and since you had a bad day at work you make it everyone's problem. Then he starts trying to seek you out and ??? Your boss has been put in jail over tax evasion?? Odd but good for you. Wait your division is being relocated? WHY IS THE FRUIT THIEF YOUR NEW BOSS??
Neuvillette tries to get on your good side but it often fails so he changes his tactic to inserting himself in your circles without you knowing. Your parents happen to adore the man they met at the opera last time and wow ..well, well, well, wont you look at him IN YOUR DOORWAY WITH ORANGES AS ONE OF THE THINGS HE BROUGHT TO DINNER. If he touches your elbow with his one more time you will stab his hand or so Lord help you.
Except he will eventually make your entire family rely on him and ask that you become his spouse as a trade off. It seems fair you see. And then when you live in his villa he brings you those oranges all the time that you begin to hate them and try to hit him with their peels when he isnt looking to sustain your sanity.
#asks.#Its like half crack half real i think neuvillette needs a little clown in his life#And you can be that clown for just the simple price of MARRIAGE#neuvillette#genshin neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#yandere neuvillette
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Ready Player 1 ? - Shigaraki x reader
18+ MDNI | masturbation, praise , video chats, crack-humor
most would consider it unwise for a girl like you to be in these chat rooms due to the questionable discourse and rather infamous patrons, but girls just wanna have fun right ?
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: saw an old couple today, could be me and shig but he’s playing ☹️
user2345: i think you mean planning* as in planning world domination and torment of quirkless losers like you.
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: oh sweetheart you’ll never get any pussy if you keep acting like one
user3333: damn bro, you gonna take that ?
user2345: who gives a shit about some villain groupie ?
user2345: she keeps her mouth so full of cum that it’s starting to affect her whore brain.
user2345: do you really think the true leader of the new world would make time for some dumb cunt like you ?
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: there’s probably a higher chance of tomura shigaraki and i living happily ever after than there is of ANY woman even looking in your direction.
this was a normal friday night, you simping over shigaraki in the forums and clapping back at the misogynistic incels that hid behind their keyboards in their mothers’ basements. but there was one guy that always stood up for you whenever the idiots got too out of hand. he was also a moderator so he had no problems blocking them.
the two of you would dm off and on about life , thoughts on hero society, hobbies , etc. from your chats you gathered that he didn’t walk that straight and narrow but that didn’t mean much to you. he would sometimes tease your about your crush on shigaraki and your general taste in men.
finalboss: honestly, what kind of girl likes a criminal?; who knows what kind of twisted shit the guys into— you’re not even a villain.
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: you know nothing jon snow
finalboss: that reference just confirmed btw
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: i’ll have you know that my beloved is a certified otaku fantasy nerd.
finalboss: oh yeah ? and how’d you obtain such info ?
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: i run 3 stan accounts on twitter and i belong to a shiggy fan club 🥹
finalboss: 😃
finalboss: seek help
finalboss: 😃
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: you wound me ☹️
finalboss: i’ll just leave that too your Prince Charming lol
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: oh lord , did you see the footage of his latest attack ?
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: he was dressed like a whoreee 😩😩
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: tits just out for my viewing pleasure
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: shigaraki is my shepherd, he know what i want.
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: wanna suck on those sugar nips and call him mommy
finalboss: you get weirder and weirder every time we chat
xoxo_|hisMC ✮: that means we’re becoming besties ㅤ♡ ︎
finalboss: ♡ ︎
it was nice having someone to talk to about your secret obsession, it’s not like your “real life” friends would understand. the two of you had carved out your own little piece of the internet to goof around in. he never disclosed much information about himself and typically kept the conversations focused on you, but you still felt an undeniable bond to this faceless stranger.
then he ghosted you.
weeks went by without a word from your friend. he no longer defended you in the forums and he didn’t respond to any of your dms. you’d started to get worried that he may have been arrested or worse. and at the three month mark you’d finally given up hope that you’d ever hear from your friend again. but then the unexpected happened.
finalboss is requesting to video chat.
this was completely out of character but after months with no word, you were desperate to hear from your friend.
you were prepared to chew him him out for abandoning you. thinking of all the ways you could insult him while simultaneously expressing your need for his comfort and company. but your mind went blank when the grainy screen loaded into the pixelated image of your companion.
whispy tendrils fell from his bun, framing the sculpted planes of his handsome face. his lips were dry, slightly chapped, with the only lubrication being the sheen of saliva left by the slow drag of his tongue. bloodied eyes bore into your own leaving you breathless and dazed.
“hey bestie”
his voice was low and raspy, almost like a whisper. a deep rumbling that echoed in your ear drums. it was oddly hypnotic. he was absolutely mesmerizing.
tomura chuckled into the camera, showing flashes of perfectly white teeth. he leans back into the chair, a hand on the back of his neck showcasing a broad chest and toned abs.
“didn’t expect you to be this quiet, bestie. is my outfit not slutty enough for you ? i could always take these off…” his hand fell from his neck to rest and the waistband of his black jeans.
you remained speechless, eyes glued to the light dusting of hair below his belly button.
more laughter and shifting. now you were met with the glorious girth of shigaraki’s cock clenched tightly in his fist. the darkened tip oozed a sparkling trail of pre that spilled down his length. his thumb swiped the fluid to spread over his veiny member.
“c’mon , doll. don’t leave me hanging” he teased, squeezing his fist upwards to produce more pre. “i thought you wanted to be my ‘mc’ ? seems more like an npc if you ask me”.
“y-you’re him” you stammered, eyes following the slow drag of his fist. “you’re tomura shigaraki”.
“in the flesh” he teased, shooting a wink that went directly between your legs. “well kinda, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. sorry i’ve been away so long, but you’d wait forever for me won’t you , perfect girl ?”
your nod was automatic. robotic even. you’d moved closer to the screen, completely engrossed by his ministrations.
“anything for you beyon—shiggy”
you both laughed at that. he appreciated your humor, especially with all the drama in his day to day. even in def con simp mode and being ghosted didn’t stop you from being undeniably you. that’s probably why he was as obsessed with you as you were with him.
“i know we probably have alot to discuss but todays been kind of shitty and i’d really like to explore our final fantasies”.
you snorted, “that was really bad , shig”.
he shrugged, “i’m a villain, not a comedian, beloved. “now show me that perfect little pussy”.
#yandere shigaraki#shigaraki smut#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#mha shigaraki#mha smut#shigaraki x black reader#shigaraki x chubby reader#mha x blackreader#mha x chubby reader#mha crack
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BLD Incorrect Quotes Crack : James
~After being kidnapped~
Y/n: *incoherent sobbing*
James, cuddling Y/n in his arms: "Don't cry babe. You're home now so-"
Y/n: "My fucking rent- my downpayment."
James: "You-"
Y/n: "Oh my god- my credit score is going to drop!"
Edit for a quote i saw that would 100% fit james
James: "I'm sorry my knife could not resist stabbing you. It needs better training."
James belongs to @hotpinkmoon
#crack#incorrect quotes#yandere crack#yandere x reader#BloodLust Devotion#bloodlustdevotion#i would write a mini crack fic but i have to study :')#someone yell at me later to get it done please#tbfr i dont think james would ever apologize for anything but the quote was funny-
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Beginner's Guide to being a Tokyo Revengers Yandere, pt 1: How to kidnap Mikey
Fic warning: crack, kidnapping, arson mention
So you want to kidnap and own Manjiro 'Mikey' Sano? Well, you've come to the right place! I, Monika, Monica's other persona, have a lot of experiences as a Yandere for a while now and I have studied the most optimum way to get your beloved Mikey.
Honestly if you have zero to no morals, then this is the right place for you. With that, here are five easy steps in kidnapping the love of your life♡
1. Step one: Distract Draken and Baji. Idc how you do it, set their bikes on fire, pants them. Just do it. No need to do too much for Takemitchi though, anyone can take him in a fight.
2. Step two: leave a trail of dorayaki that leads to your cage. If you're broke like me, get a small fan and a plate of dorayaki and blow it towards his open window. Instantly he would run out and follow the trail or smell anywhere in the world.
3. Step three: follow him carefully. If using the broke girl plan, whisper 'psspsspssspsss' . It will make him respond even faster. DON'T LET HIM SEE YOU. or he would get scared and run away. He's a curious one so make sure to hide and keep him anticipating! He loves a good hide and seek.
4. Step four: this is the tricky part. If using a cage, You have to close the cage FAST before he realizes what is going on. If using a ziptie plan, make sure the last ten dorayaki is sedated. Do you hear me SEDATED. Or you'll get kicked in the face.
5. Step five: you've gotten so far! Congrats! You have sucessfully acquired a wild Mikey. He might scratch or hiss or even kick you, but if you provide a steady food supply, he'll mellow out instantly and possibly be a good boy. Will bite occassionally.
Warning: do not. ABSOLUTELY do not hit him across the head. It will end up badly for you. He will not get knocked out but he would be REALLY mad and well, I don't need to tell you what happens after that-
this method does not work on bonten Mikey. Sanzu will shoot at you.
Follow for more guides ♡ and don't be afraid to request any character at all! I have more advice to spare!
#tokyo revengers x reader#mikey sano#manjiro sano#tokyo revengers crack#tw. kidnapping#crack#draken ryuguji#baji keisuke#hanagaki takemichi#mikey x reader#beginner's guide for being a Tokyo revengers yandere#yandere tokyo revengers#yandere reader#crack fic
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Teacher Darling is never able to look their students in the eyes after finding the private Twitter accounts dedicated to thirsting over how fine their teacher is and how they'll cut anyone who steals their teacher from them but that's completely irrelevant
-
Yan Student: morning teach~ Can you tell me where you got your tie?
[Teacher Darling has war flash backs to a zoomed up picture of their tie and how the student would like it shoved down their throat]
Teacher Darling: It was a gift.
#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere x reader#yandere insert#yandere oc#yandere blurb#yandere text#crack post#professor reader
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