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majosullivan · 5 months

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Castle Swimmer Dashboard Simulator

🪸 classycoral Follow

If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt while traveling the sea, it’s that prophecies can really range from being the silliest of tales to the most horrific things you will ever of having the dismay of laying your eyes on

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Like I’ll visit one castle and their prophecy will be ‘It’s been destined that the beacon will use this frog to predict the future so we can prepare for it :)’ and then the next castle I visit will have a prophecy like ‘It is been foretold from centuries past that the beacon shall arrive and save us from a plague that has been taunting us since ancient time. Through sacrifical ritual, they shall free us from this torment’

#like who is coming up with these #are you guys doing okay???

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💧 oceaneyes Follow

I heard there’s hot singles at the bottom of the God Mouth

⚜️ minigod-fucker Follow

out of the way boys I’m about to GET IT

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got trapped in unending darkness surrounded by voices

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🪷 through-the-reef Follow

I’m currently traveling through the Purple Peaks and it’s absolutely gorgeous here! I have no idea why there seems to be so few people living here, it seems wonderful!

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GIANT CRAB, GIANT CRAB, GIANT CRAB-

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✨ give-that-axolotl-a-knife Follow

Does anyone else feel like the surface god is just toying with you how they please. They think they’re so funny. Well I’m about to be hilarious

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this feels so threatening, are you doing okay op?

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🌊 squids Follow

Being alive is so wonderful because there is so many beautiful places in the ocean you can explore and so many fascinating creatures you can see. However there are also the unending horrors

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The Blue Hills

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💰 needling-on Follow

GUYS I MIGHT BE GOING INSANE BUT I’M CURRENTLY OUTSIDE TRAINING AND I SWEAR I JUST SAW ONE OF THE RULERS AT MY CASTLE GO FLYING OUT THE CASTLE WINDOW

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NOT INSANE, A GROUP OF HIS PEOPLE JUST CAME SWIMMING OUT CALLING AFTER HIM, OH MY GOD I CAN’T BREATH

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UPDATE: THEY’RE COMING BACK WITH HIM NOW AND HE MUST HAVE FALLEN INTO A SCHOOL OF PRETTY VICIOUS FISH CAUSE HE’S COVERED IN BITE MARKS AND THERE’S STILL ONE BITING HIM. I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO CRACK A RIB

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♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

Alright guys which mini god from the ones y’all know about do you think you could take

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IN A FIGHT IN A FIGHT IN A FIGHT

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

Blocked blocked blocked. None of you are seeing the light of the surface

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🌺 lesbiankelp Follow

Life is so fucking unfair cause kelp dragons are SO beautiful and magnificent and enchanting and I would do ANYTHING to get up close to or even pet one, but the moment one would see me they would immediately try to swallow me whole like a shrimp

#they’re so pretty and for what #AND FOR WHAT?! #I just want to give them a little kiss on top of your head… #is that too much to ask?

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🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

THE BEACON IS TWENTY???

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THEY SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB…

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HUH?

🎼 beautifulabyss Follow

I’m sorry, the beacon is WHAT?

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🪸 classycoral Follow

No because like my castle’s prophecy is nearing 200 years old and I’ve met a ton of people whose prophecies are over twice that age. How in the name of the Surface God are they only 20?

🌱 seaweed-brains Follow

Okay this post just unlocked some long dormant memories in my brain and if I don’t talk about it with someone outside my castle I think I’ll lose my mind so you guys better be sitting down.

For some context: until around 7-8 years ago, my people were under almost constant threat of these giant sea snakes because they had unknowingly killed the head of their den. Savage things. Would take any opportunity to attack us. We couldn’t even find a new castle cause they would follow us everywhere. Because of all this, our elders ended up creating a prophecy, which stated that the Beacon would eat the carcass of the head snake, causing the rest of the sea snakes to leave us alone.

So when I was like 13, the Beacon had arrived at our castle to fulfil our prophecy, and as you can expect, we were all very excited and I remember trying to get to the front of the crowd as fast as possible to see them. They were like nothing I have ever seen before and have seen since, we all were in complete awe of them. However, the thing about them that ended up surprising me the most was that they were young. Like, pretty damn young. They looked a little younger than me. So while our monarch quickly went to make sure all the preparations were complete, they entrusted my parents with making sure the Beacon was comfortable, giving my family the opportunity to have small chat with them. Curiousity getting the better of me, I asked how old they were. 13. They said they’re 13 years old. They were MY age. I didn’t know what to do at that point and basically throughout the entire time our prophecy was being completed, my mind was just stuck thinking about if I was destined to eat that giant smelly snake

🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME???

🎼 beautifulabyss Follow

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

I need a whole day to fully process that prophecy alone what in the actual fuck

🌺 lesbiankelp Follow

Did…

…did they eat the snake carcass?

🌱 seaweed-brains Follow

THE WHOLE THING…

🫧 bubbly-bubbles Follow

🪸 classycoral Follow

and people still think I was exaggerating about how wild prophecies are. How in the entire sea does being attacked by sea snakes lead to the Beacon needing to eat a giant carcass? Who is coming up with these solutions? Show me their workings

💧 oceanxeyes Follow

The Beacon arriving at another castle to help people fulfil their prophecy, only to find that it’s another one written by freaks:

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…the beacon is real?

🔱 poisedposeidon Follow

🌺 lesbiankelp Follow

HELLO?

🌫️ surface-and-beyond Follow

Sandy get back here right now what do u MEAN you didn’t know the Beacon was real???

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MY PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS SAID THE BEACON WAS JUST PART OF ANCIENT MYTHOLOGY…we were always told growing up that prophecies and the lot were just stories and such. You’re telling me that there’s actually a divine being going around helping people by eating snakes and stuff???

🌫️ surface-and-beyond Follow

Y E A H

🐚 sandyshells Follow

WHAT THE HELL

♠️ mistressofthedarkseas Follow

This whole post is a mess holy shit

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#castle swimmer #webtoon #fake tumblr dash #fake tumblr post #dashboard simulator #castle swimmer kappa #kappa #castle swimmer siren #siren

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alittlebitofloveliness · 6 days

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Could you do some modern day Soda headcanons please? I love him so much and I love your blog so much soooooo….

Ok so soda is tricky for me to write but I tried my best!!!

Modern Au Sodapop Headcanons

-Drinks every single energy drink imaginable. Rockstar? Like its water. Prime? For the plot. 5 hour energy? He’ll down it in five seconds. Darry is HORRIFIED.

-Is pretty enough he’s one of those people who becomes moderately famous on TikTok without having to really do much. His followers notice he’s always talking to someone off camera, and they’re desperate to find out who it is, but Soda only ever responds to comments with ‘oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok’.

-Soda’s followers have a lot of theories about this ‘Stevie’. Soda is weirdly tight lipped about him, despite the fact he often breaks off mid rant in videos to talk to him. There’s also the fact that the rest of the gang is often around/in the background of videos, but the mysterious ‘Stevie’ never appears. (okok I’ll stop here before this becomes a Stevepop social media au)

-Regularly forgets to take his ADHD meds and Darry often has to remind him

-Would either have a hockey flow or a mullet (whatever y’all think, personally I think modern Soda with a hockey flow tracks with his character)

-One of those people who loves horror movies but is also completely terrified of even the dumbest ones and has to sleep with the lights on for weeks afterwards. Steve makes fun of him for it, but will also stay up on the phone with him if Soda watches one by himself and freaks himself out

-Has a million fidget spinners because they actually help him focus on stuff when he needs to

-Soda in modern AU wouldn’t call Ponyboy ‘kid brother’ as a nickname (don’t get me wrong, I love it but Ive never heard it used irl). Instead, I think him and Darry (and thus the rest of the gang) refer to Pony as ‘shrimp’ and Ponyboy absolutely hates it “where’s the shrimp” “he’s has track practice ‘till four, you of all people should know that Dar” (brought to you by me and my interactions with my own little brothers)

-The whole gang is super into video games, but Soda is kind of shit at them and lowkey grumpy about it

-Every teacher he’s ever had has done that thing where they expect him to be exactly like his older sibling, and therefore expect him to be a model student like Darry, and every time they are proven entirely wrong. By the time the same teachers see Ponyboy’s name on their class lists they’re terrified of what to expect

-He definitely had that horrible middle school boy stage where he just reeked of axe body spray and BO before he figured out proper hygiene

-Every two weeks him and Steve end up doing some sort of YouTube deep dive where they end up being convinced of some sort of wild conspiracy theory that Ponyboy and sometimes Darry have to spend three hours talking them out of

-Uses far too many emojis in texts

-He had a pet hamster once and you know that thing died in the most horrendous way imaginable. Two-bit probably farted into the cage at one point as a joke and the poor thing asphyxiated to death or some shit like that

-He’s that kid in group projects who does nothing and tanks the presentation for everyone by mispronouncing half the words on the slides some other group member made for him

-Him and Steve are so inseparable that when they’re not together people will be like ‘where’s your boyfriend’ and he just answers without thinking before flushing really hard and sputtering a bit.

-One of those people that casually catches snakes with his bare hands. Steve HATES it and Ponyboy is TERRIFIED of snakes so he gets in trouble with Darry if he does it too often or brings them near the house

#the outsiders #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #darry curtis #two bit mathews #headcanon #stevepop #sodapop x steve

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jq37 · 2 months

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The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 6

Post Shrimp Jump Conspiracy Board Special

Hey y’all! Welcome back to Seacaster Manor where the shrimp party is still raging and the Bad Kids are balancing being cooler than ever with some serious sleuthing. We get a lot of new information this episode so I wanted to try out a new format for this week. I often talk in a metaphorical way about putting items up on a Conspiracy Board but I want to actually try that now that we’re a little over a quarter of the way in and have multiple overarching things happening. This is going to be a lot less linear than usual but bear with me. Gotta shake things up a little so I don’t get burnt out! There’s still fourteen more episodes to go!

The Rat Grinders

The Bad Kids’ de facto rival party got a lot of screen time in this episode, which makes sense: Adaine declared the party their nemeses over Goldenhoard or anyone else they’ve fought, which is saying a lot. Before this point, we knew the following facts about them:

1) They got their name because the only enemies they’re recorded as killing are low level ones (including rats) that they grind in the woods behind the school, showing a willingness to follow the letter but not spirit of the rules but also an impressive amount of dedication.

2) Their leader seems to be rogue, Kipperlily Copperkettle who is type A as hell and has a LOT of free time to kill having found the rogue professor (or at least having the rogue professor find her). She’s running for class president on a platform based around “fairness” which is a theme that’s come up more than once this season.

3) Also on the team are emo Bard Reuben (who seems to be related to the new Artificing teacher and who shares an agent with Fig) and nonplussed Barbarian Mary Ann (who is buffing herself magically somehow).

4) Kipperlily specifically asked about where Kristen was able to create a new god. Now how, where. An odd question.

This episode, we learned a lot more, so let's throw them on the board and make some connections!

5) The Rat Grinders have a new cleric named Buddy Dawn (something Kristen’s brother mentioned two episodes ago). He’s from Highcourt and moved with his grandparents. He’s got super Mormon+Southern “Bless Your Heart” energy and Kristen doesn’t like how familiar it feels. His vibes are clocked as well meaning but kinda judgey.

6) Buddy Dawn was *specifically requested* by the party. Of course, requesting a cleric isn’t weird–why wouldn’t you want one? And Helioism seems a pretty common religion in the region so odds are good that if you get a cleric is would be a Helioic one. But, paired with KP’s question about Kristen, it makes you wonder if the plan is to recruit a Kristen expy and try to get lightning to strike twice.

7) At the beer pong table, we meet the RG’s archer who is an elf named Ivy Embra. She’s got some flirty, catty energy (which we see when she interacts with Fabian and Mazey respectively).

8) We also meet the party wizard, Oisin Hakinvar, who is a Conjuration specialist with a focus in summoning. He’s a blue dragonborn which means that he has a great great great (etc) blue dragon ancestor he can ping when he needs barrels of diamonds, no problem. He has so many in fact that when Adaine lies badly that she’s also swimming in diamonds, he kindly offers to let her borrow some of his “extras”. But she turns them down, calls him great, and then panics and runs away to commiserate with Fabian who is also panicking about a flirty moment with Ivy. Oisin, for his part, seems driven to distraction and can’t make a single other shot all night. Cute! But–

9) As much as I want to wholeheartedly love Oisin (and honestly do and will until I am given direct evidence to change my mind) I have to point out that KVX, known evil bank, did change its logo from red (Goldenhoard’s color) to blue (Oisin’s Ancestor’s color) and there is a shot in the trailer of the party fighting a blue dragon. Connected? Maybe.

10) From investigating some yearbooks, the party also learns that the Rat Grinders have existed since Freshman Year but, at the time, they were called the High Five Heroes. They all look a lot more smiley and a lot less intense–Rebuen’s not even emo. It was the lineup from above, minus Buddy and plus a frost Genasi cleric named Lucy Frostblade. They learn that she supposedly died in their Sophomore year but specifically during a period near the end of the year where grades are locked and it wouldn’t affect their party comp which is…convenient.

11) Fig tries to investigate this by disguising herself as Lucy and seeing how Ivy and Oisin react. Only Ivy sees her but she doesn’t seem shocked at all to see her allegedly dead party member She just raises an eyebrow and ditches the game to talk to her. Fig bails (and rolls only a 12 to stealth away) so we don’t get any extra info but just the fact that Ivy reacted that way is pretty juicy info as is.

12) The other Rat Grinders don’t seem to be at the party but the members are skeptical about that. On the other hand, when Ivy leaves, it’s because Oisin pulls her aside and says, “Kipperlilly’s calling”. So it’s possible there was a Team A and a Team B for whatever the Rat Grinders were doing that night?

13) And speaking of what they're doing, we do have a theory. When Fabian checks some damage in the basement where Max and some other kids were smoking "gorgenfern" he sees that something called a cloud rider engine was smashed up pretty bad and in a suspicious way–gorgenfern doesn’t make you rowdy. Fabian checks the security tapes he obviously has and sees that some ice mephits came in and riled people up to the point of crashing into the engine. Adaine conjured some earlier in the party and as far as her arcana check can tell, they’re here, but there’s suspicion that Oisin–a conjuration wizard–could have done it. It’s certainly within his skillset. A cloud rider engine allows a vehicle to fly on clouds and it’s not clear if it was simply smashed or if something was stolen from it.

14) Max isn’t a Rat Grinder but he did ask them all if they wanted to smoke with him and Ivy offered Fabian snuff so Riz is suspicious that the RG’s are trying to get them kicked out of school for drug use now that they have a non-Aguefort principal who presumably cares about silly rules like that at the murder school.

That’s basically what we know about the Rat Grinders! So, to sum it up, I’d say the conspiracy board bullet points are:

Supposedly dead cleric Lucy Frostblade: What actually happened to her and why isn’t Ivy surprised to see “her”?

New cleric Buddy Dawn: Why was he specifically requested?

The High Five Heroes: What caused them to turn into the Rat Grinders? And, as they seem like they were more gung ho their first year, why did they never pivot to fighting things other than low level monsters?

Do they actually have beef with the Bad Kids specifically or are their vibes just terrible? Were they trying to sabotage them by offering drugs? Did they break the engine on purpose and, if so, why?

Oisin: Is he chill or is he working an angle? That question technically goes to Ivy as well but I’m almost certain she’s fully working an angle, lol. I’m getting straight up Aelwyn vibes from her.

Class President: What is KP’s angle re: running for class president? This seems like something she’d want to do either way with her personality but her policy of fairness dovetails too neatly with Grix’s appearance and Cassandra’s inability to say the phrase, “It’s not fair,” last episode.

How did KP find the rogue professor and is that relevant?

And finally, why did KP want to know about where Kristen created her Freshman year god? Well, that question may be partially answered in our next section.

God Stuff

There is a lot going on this season with celestial shenanigans between Cassandra and Galicaea and even Yes! So let’s mark out what we know.

1) Cassandra was possessed by some kind of rage entity via crystal shards that were expelled from her body. Her status is kind of up in the air right now as the party was shunted away to safety by Connor Counterspell (RIP) and all Kristen has left of Cass are some glowing, purple shards.

2) Earlier in the fight, while lucid, Cassandra said, “I thought you were dead” about some unseen entity. Later, Kristen heard from a creepy voice that said, “She is at my side once more”. It then threatened her and slid out the rotting corpse of Yes! as a sick joke. Likely that these are the same person or at least connected.

3) Gorgug identified that the rage stars are similar to what’s going on with Ragh’s mom, Lydia so it was put on the docket to get in touch with her about that–especially because Kalina specifically told them to track down Ragh with her last lucid words.

4) Tracker’s Galicaea rebrand is going really well. Her social media is really popping and the endless night probably didn’t hurt.

5) Kristen on the other hand, hasn’t been doing so hot. Due to a bunch of negligence based in lack of time management and personal uncertainty, she hasn’t been evangelizing much which means only she and Craig stand between Cass and her permanent destruction.

6) Kristen can’t contact Cass telepathically and says she can’t use her magic which is Not Great if you're as danger prone as the Bad Kids.

Alright, that’s all the old business so let’s move to the new business.

7) When Kristen talked to her parents, we learned that Helio doesn’t have a chosen one since she left but we learn that it’s more serious than that. Helio also can’t choose a new chosen one. He only gets one. With Kristen gone, the whole religion is without a chosen one.

8) At a certain point, Tracker finally gets a hold of Kristen and says some harsh but true things about Kristen but, more relevant to the conspiracy board, she talks about her girlfriend Nara and Adaine, as a fellow high elf, clocks her as coming from a family of moon goddess clerics in Falinel. That raises the question: is this run of the mill teenage rebellion a la the theme song, or is she some kind of plant? We’ll hopefully get some more info from Aelwyn since Adaine texted her about it.

9) The real juicy stuff happens when we talk to Ragh’s mom. The fiend in Lydia's gem is called Bakur. Her having him in there doesn't make her rage--she's raging to keep him trapped but that's it. Her personality is the same.

10) Bakur was a pit fiend and the right hand guy of a dead god whose name we don't know (hmm, another dead and nameless god). Bakur can't even say the god's name. It's like, weird god rules and Lydia explains in a weird vague way: gods not being able to use loopholes and saying names being powerful and rules changing for non-mortals when gods die.

11) The one very concrete info we get is that a god can only come back in a place where they were born or created. The reason Bakur’s plan failed is that he tried to bring back the nameless god in the Red Waste and not where they were created.

12) Rana (Lydia’s party cleric) is away and Cormyr (the party sorcerer) is dead but Lydia offers to put the party in touch with Rana and Cormyr’s family because they have more stuff related to this and they were the ones who knew more about this than her.

Following? Good. So let’s distill this down to bullets again:

Holy Helio. The corn god doesn’t have a chosen one anymore because Kristen up and left. What does that mean in a concrete sense? What can a chosen one do that a normal cleric can’t? Is Helio gonna ask Kristen to do anything this season now that we know that this is a special position that only one person can fill? Is it until she dies (or at least dies for real)? Would a fanatical Helioic person try and kill Kristen to open up that slot?

KP specifically asking WHERE Cassandra was created seems clearly tied to the info Lydia gave about only being able to resurrect a god where it was created. But what does that mean exactly? Is she trying to resurrect the same god as Bakur? Did she just assume that wherever Kristen made her god is probably where most gods are made and, thus, her best bet? What’s her angle? Is this an evil plan for just a “this will get me a good grade” plan?

Where in the world is Cassandra right now? She is MIA right now which means Kristen’s powers are too. Though I wonder if she can draw on those shards to cast spells.

We obviously can’t be sure but it seems like the voice Kristen heard and the person that Cass thought was dead is likely that unnamed god. What’s his deal? I’m sure we’ll have more info for this bullet soon.

Is Tracker’s new girlfriend Nara, much like Ecaf, a turncoat?

With Helio, Cass, and Galicaea all being in the mix, is there any kind of family angle being played. It doesn’t come up a ton but they are very much related.

MISC

This is a section for a few points that don’t yet fit under the main two headings of the season but still need to go up on the board.

Why would Aguefort program a robot that acts like Grix? Is he supposed to be like or is he hacked? If he is hacked, who would be able to do that? The new artificing teacher? The old one?

We learn that Aguefort has made a lot of contradicting proclamations and all of them are canon, so you’re able to pick and choose what you want to cite (I feel like I’m in law school again). Lots of room for loopholes which could be useful later.

Adaine, while very drunk, had an oracle vision of Kristen at a birthday party, giving a victory speech to a bunch of teens on election night as a crescent moon hangs in the sky. The Crescent moon potentially gives them a time frame if they look into it (and it specifically being mentioned makes me think of Galicaea even though not every moon thing has to be connected to her). And we know Gorgug’s birthday is near the Frosty Folk festival so maybe that’s why the hats.

Speaking of, we know there’s a connection between Riz’s mom defending someone for money crimes re: that Festival and Gorgug’s parents hosting it so that’s something to remember.

This isn’t something for the pin board per se but this season introduces a stress token system for downtime! I’m sure I’ll talk about it more when we use it for the first time next ep but, for now, gotta say he’s really ramping up the pressure on our kids! And, to that point, let’s do a quick check in with everyone and see what they’re up against!

Character Board

Adaine

-Adaine is still facing major money troubles. After last episode, not only is her job terminated, but she actually owes 2.5 gold for her uniform.

-It looks like she might be developing a bit of a crush on the cute dragonborn (yay) but he’s a Rat Grinder (nooooo). I will say though, cross party romance could be a lot of fun and also my favorite NPC in this show is Aelwyn whose top 2 traits are famously Criminal and Loves Adaine so I am honestly fine with this either way lol.

-Speaking of Aelwyn, I’ll put the sister stuff together: When Adaine calls her to ask for dirt on Nara she says, “Working, will call in five.” And when Adaine questions the fact that it's 5am on a Saturday, Adaine just gets a winky face emoji back. Suspicious!

Fabian

-Fabian has to juggle the new 150% course load (bard/fighter) as well as his new party house reputation.

-He has a lack of adult supervision which also means a lack of adult care and it seems to be affecting him more than he’s willing to let on.

-But honestly his biggest obstacle is probably himself right now, lol. He made himself a new nemesis in Gertie Bladshield and I am not confident he can handle this honey trap mission with Ivy without the tables being turned on him.

Riz

-Riz is also facing money troubles, but for him that’s kind of business as usual unfortunately.

-He has a TON of extracurriculars to keep track of but he so far seems to be handling it pretty well and is picking up some interesting allies (that double as votes for Kristen’s campaign–campaign manager is also an extracurricular he’s taken up): the aforementioned Gertie Bladeshield (Apiary Club), Sprak LeFevre (Aviation Club), and Molman Holden (Soil Club). Always good to have new allies and Aviation Club seems like it could be really useful later! I can see him making some luck checks to successfully say, “I know a guy” in a tight spot based on how many clubs he’s joined.

-He also has the Reliable Talent ability now which means he’s incapable of rolling lower than a 21 on things he’s proficient in which includes Investigation. We’re about to be getting some INSANE lore dumps.

Gorgug

-Gorgug has his insane 400% courseload happening and I didn’t notice this until it was pointed out to me but Zac actually leveled Gorgug DOWN in Barbarian to take an extra level of Artificer! That’s commitment. But I can’t imagine Porter, who already has a problem with him, is gonna like that.

Fig

-Fig would hate it if I didn’t start this list by saying that she hella misses Ayda and that’s her biggest problem.

-But she also has her album to worry about and we actually get the bombshell during a conversation with Mazey that she’s not even sure that she still wants to be a bard.

-On top of that, she’s taking Barb and Warlock classes along with the Bard classes she’s finally going to.

-She has her gnarly Gilear curse happening that’s seemingly connected to whoever the boss who owns the pride armor is.

-She has beef with Rebuen and is living her double life as Wanda Childa to try and learn whatever she can about him/the Rat Grinders.

-Both she and Wanda are wanted by the Solace FBI.

-On a positive note, she really endeared herself to Mazey by sweetly sticking up for her when Ivy was being catty. If Fig wasn’t so devoted to Ayda I could have read their interaction at the end of the ep as flirty. Regardless, nice moment and great ally.

Kristen

-Welp, her god is, if not dead, MIA which is arguably the biggest deal of anything on any of these lists, especially since it’s tied to her magic AND her grade.

-Next of course is the potato to her meat on her plate: her campaign. But that’s actually going really well, especially after this party. Her biggest issue is whether or not she can get Fetty Wap to homecoming and, lbr, in a pinch Fig can just disguise herself as him. When has that ever not worked?

-She also has this unnamed god (or whoever it is) taunting her and threatening her specifically which isn’t ideal.

-But I honestly think she was more fucked up by the conversation which Tracker where her ex basically outlined everything she needs to get together in her life and then posted a pre-written pic with her new girlfriend. That’s gotta sting.

And that’s it! I wanted to focus on the specific nuggets of info we got this episode and start to connect them with what we knew so far. Different format, I know, but I’m feeling experimental this season and I might switch it up a few more times as Junior Year goes on. I love covering Fantasy High but, like I said at the top, I have to keep it fresh so I don’t burn out. See you next time when Brennan makes the stress we’re all feeling an actual game mechanic! Fun!

#Dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #spoilers #the report card #when I started doing these no one was doing proper recaps #now other outlets are and I'm thinking pivoting to commentary rather than straight recaps might be more fun #but I'll see how I feel

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talesfrommedinastation · 7 months

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My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': Pabu

So, maybe it's because the Razorbacks are currently up over the Tigers, which makes Doug's LSU loving self extra fired up this evening, but I have made the mistake of asking him again about his opinion on the episode after 'The Outpost', which was 'Pabu'.

He called this both 'HR Goes to Daytona' and 'Did I miss an episode?'.

Doug: Make sure you put one of my Baton Rouge boys on the internet too right now. GEAUX TIGERS.

CW: Doug insults everyone, everything, and is generally a cantankerous old jerk in this one. His wife should have unplugged his internet. Lots of adult everything, ranging from language to...well, if you're under 18, please be warned.

Prepare thyself, especially if you're a TechxPhee fan. The amount of angry emojis I got in the text messages were pretty wild.

----

'Pabu' aka 'HR Goes to Daytona'

Oh it’s Church Lady and it’s Sunday service. Why is little orphan blondie in the bar with her? Daddy Rambo has his knife but you know the man was plowing vodka out of sight here. He’s tired.

I thought he hated Church Lady? Did I miss an episode?

Ah, now Ryan-from-Accounting is playing solitaire. Atta boy, get your mind off the bitch wife Laura. If he makes out with that garbage robot I’ll throw up.

Time to skee-daddle. Woah! Church Lady just grabbed Ryan-from-Accounting. That man looks terrified, probably because he found a Youtube video of her taking down muggers behind Manning's after a Pelicans game. Bitch wife Laura gonna blow a gasket.

But such is the way of the Church Lady, I have known many in my day. “I groped the hot new usher in Jesus’s house, but it’s okay, The Lord forgives”.

(praise the Lord and pass the Tabasco)

No, seriously, did I miss an episode? I feel like I did.

Houma-BBQ bitch is bitching, as is her wont. I wonder what sauce her tail would taste best with. Carolina Gold? I’d cook her brisket style. Oh, wait, back to the show.

And now they’re on paradise! Daytona Beach! Who is this guy, he looks like he used to play hoops now he plays how much dessert he can eat at Golden Corral. Props to him, that lava cake is gold. Hope Rex and Toaster Strudel are there.

Where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

No, really, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

I’m getting real mad here, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

CHURCH LADY, GET BACK IN YOUR SPACE UBER AND GO FIND REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL. I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MUSEUM OF SHIT YOU FOUND IN PEOPLE’S BACKYARDS AND THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE KEY LARGO PUBLIX, GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

SHOVE RYAN-FROM-ACCOUNTING BACK INTO THE DRIVER’S SEAT, PAY FOR HIS GAS, AND GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

“You have some competition”. From what, there’s gonna be a hot dog eating contest or something? Why does Ryan-from-Accounting look so upset?

(“I think they’re trying to set him and Phee up, Doug.” “What, when did that happen? Did I miss an episode?”)

Ryan-from-Accounting looks either sad or excited and I’m so confused. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married since before the dinosaurs but why is he either frowning and freaked out by Church Lady or smiling at Church Lady? Is he having a breakdown like my nephew did after he lost his job? Does Bitch Wife Laura know about this? Does he like Church Lady or is he planning on pepper spraying her? Did I miss an episode? Is this how the children flirt on the Ticky-Tack? No wonder y’all aren’t getting married any more.

(“Doug, you did not miss an episode. And it is called Tik-Tok.” “I MISSED AN EPISODE. I KNOW I DID, AND IT IS CALLED THE TICKY-TACK!!!”)

Ya know who would solve these questions? REX AND MOTHER LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL, WHO AIN’T HERE. THEY NEED TO BE HERE. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM CHURCH LADY.

Oh lovely, Hoops forgot to make a reservation at BoneFish, so they’re having his gas station sushi. Not one shrimp or crab on that table? Y’all Hoops is failing so hard right now, as a boy from Louisiana I’m just offended. His momma raised that man WRONG.

You know who would love sushi on the beach while watching the sun set? REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL, and Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger too.

I MISS SASSY PARK RANGER ALREADY!!!!!!

But no, Rex and Toaster Strudel are busy at work saving the galaxy while Julio and the gang throw back cocktails and stare at the sun like they dropped cheap acid they bought in a sketchier part of Biloxi. Which is all of Biloxi, I guess.

Oh, and Ryan-from-Accounting is awkward around Church Lady and stares at his phone lest that Bitch Wife Laura of his get a snap of them sitting together and Little Orphan Blondie pets a monkey. I hope they all get food poisoning. I’m so mad.

They need Toaster Strudel the way I need FSU to lose this weekend, I have money on that game too. WHY IS ARKANSAS STILL UP IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Ah, Little Orphan Blondie’s on a boat with her new buddy, that’s nice. If she doesn’t find Rex and Toaster Strudel out in the ocean with James Cameron I hope–oh, shoot, I was in the navy. I know what that water means. Oh boy.

Well bless Ryan-from-Accounting, he watches Big Tuna and knows how to do a rescue. Church Lady looks happy. He finally touched her, it only took a natural disaster and a whole lot of nagging on her part. Oh, poor Church Lady, you need a guy who actually likes you back.

Seriously, why does that man look like the subject of them shitty videos HR makes us watch once a year so we don’t get sued? I don’t know, but I’m starting to understand why his Bitch Wife Laura is the way she is. I can’t believe the episode they filmed in Daytona makes me feel for her, but it do.

(“Doug, you’re making up Bitch Wife Laura in your head. She’s not in the show.” “Well, it’s clear that I missed some episodes, so maybe I missed the Bitch Wife Laura ones.” “No, you didn’t miss any, I promise.” “Are you SURE?!”)

Man, the tsunami got people running like it’s Black Friday Wal-Mart in Tampa. But they rescued an old guy and Daddy Rambo got the stolen work truck working to rescue the kids. Hooray, I guess.

You know who would have done a better job? Of all of this?

REX AND MOTHER-LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL. But they ain’t here!

(Doug's love for them runs hard and it runs deep, for which I can empathize)

You know who should have been on a beach horking down Mai Tais and getting into Church Lady and her handsy hands?

POOR POOR SASSY PARK RANGER. BUT HE DIED BACK IN WYOMING. I bet he’d love a back massage from Church Lady too! He’d sass her, she’d sass him back, and they’d make out on the beach while Daddy Warcrimes played the saxophone behind them or something. I support that. I’d like that. He’s got brown eyes.*

Make it work, Star Wars, damn it.

(Doug has unlocked a new rarepair, I guess: Mayday and Phee? WTF?)

Well they’re hanging out here in Daytona for the time being, I guess. Julio passed out under a tree like a drunk uncle at a cookout. Everyone's smiling.

I’d be smiling too, knowing that REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL ARE ACTUALLY SAVING PEOPLE WHILE YOU CLOWNS STOMP AROUND FLORIDA.

Stop smiling at Church Lady, Ryan-from-Accounting! Is it because you finally filed HR complaint paperwork or because you filed for divorce papers from Bitch Wife Laura? Why are you smiling?! Church Lady belongs to Sassy Park Ranger!

(“Doug…Sassy Park Ranger’s dead. He and Church Lady never met. You need to stop.” “IF THEY CAN BRING PALPATINE BACK, THEY CAN BRING SASSY PARK RANGER BACK TOO!”)

*=I NEED FAN ART OF THIS NOW, please @amalthiaph! Help me out!

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xiaoscarasimp · 6 months

Text

Smol bit of cat boi smut 3

So im back at it again. ^^ this didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to, but that just means I have stuff for pt 4

Nsfw(duh) mdni

triggers: afab reader, somewhat sadistic scara, mirror sex, piv sex, consensual voyeurism, oral(both give and receive) cum eating and of course SiZe KinK

Cat Boi Smut 3

After a few hectic weeks of trying to make heads or tails of the magic book Lyney gave you, you decided it was time to test it out. However, you were a bit hesitant, in fear of screwing up, so you decided to call that Fontaine twink. You dial his number and it rings a few times too many for your comfort. When he finally does pick up, his voice is groggy with sleep; it almost sounded like you had woken him up at 2 PM on a Tuesday.

“H-hello?” He asked, not sure of who was calling.

“Oh, hi, Lyney? This is y/n,” You keep your voice even, but the nerves start creeping up on you. “Remember that magic book you lent me the other day? I want to test it out, but am rather scared to try it with just me and Scara. W-will you help us out?" Ah, shit, you stuttered.

“O-oh, hi y/n!” His voice gained a bit more energy. “Oh, yeah, sure. Is your cat boy ok with testing it out? I help without both of y’all’s consent.”

“...did you just say ‘y’all’s?’”

“...not at all. Ok, maybe I did; I slip up when tired. When are you free next?”

“Let me get with Scara, but I feel like Friday night should be good.” Not that your cat boy ever had any plans outside the occasional show he’d like to watch as it airs; there wasn’t anything on Friday that you knew of.

Lyney yawns on the other line. “Sounds good. I’m going back to bed, late night last night.”

Your stomach starts getting butterflies at the thoughts of your next adventures. While you wanted it to be just you and Scaramouche, you didn’t want to take the chance of stuff going wrong; plus you had a feeling that your cat boy was starting to like not only being with you, but also with Lyney as well.

Once you get home, you let Scaramouche know that you two have a "date" with Lyney Friday night, and that you were going to test out the book of magic. His ears perked up at this, his tail twitching happily; however, his face portrayed none of the excitement that his body was.

"Better not screw anything up," He pointedly says, although with a bit of affection. "Been getting bored lately because someone's too pussy to try anything on her own." The cat boy has the audacity to wink at you, smirking and glowering.

You tackle him to the sofa and straddle him, hands to his throat. Scaramouche still has that cheeky grin; he knows you won't actually hurt him. You'll just tease him a little bit, make him beg for you. He starts laughing darkly as you tighten your hands playfully, his gaze egging you on.

"I'm no pussy. If anyone's the pussy here it's you, pussy cat boy," you laugh. You release your hold on him and ruffle his hair and ears. He scowls at you, hopes smashed (unlike him).

"I have dinner to cook tonight. Was thinking about a stir fry style dinner, i.e. fried rice beef and a few veggies. If you're a good cat boy, maybe I'll even pan fry you some shrimp." You say as you get up. His tail flicked happily, mouth was drooling slightly at the thoughts of pan fried shrimp.

As you're cooking dinner, you see Scaramouche scrolling his phone, even typing out a few things here and there. Usually, this was not abnormal behavior, but since you mentioned the date for Friday night, he was probably looking for ideas of what to do to you. The cat boy had a sadistic streak going for him, and how far he would take things with you underneath him had you a bit worried.

"Hey, Scara," you call out. "Shrimp's done! Pan fried in garlic and herb butter." You puff out your chest proudly. The stir fry was also done, but Scaramouche had little to no interest in it; he only had eyes for the shrimp.

As you guys discuss plans and boundaries for Friday, you realize that almost anything was on the table as long as it didn't kill or permanently mutilate either of you. Oral, toys, anal, pegging: all things that you and the cat boy consented to.

~~♡♡♡~~

Friday night had arrived at last. You and Scaramouche picked out some appropriate outfits for the night: you wearing a shorter and tighter than normal skirt with a lacy top with a nice lingerie set, complete with thigh high stockings and garter belt underneath. Your cat boy did not put as much effort in his outfit: going in his usual skin tight black turtleneck and skinny jeans. You weren't going to deny it: that look suited him very well; it accentuated his sharp features and complimented his hair very well.

You knock on Lyney's door three times, and wait a bit before hearing frantic footsteps on the other side before the door swings open. Lyney’s hair was almost perfect, however you could still tell a few hairs were out of place; he must have overslept a bit.

“H-hey, welcome in!” Lyney stammers; very unlike him. “I was just getting some props ready for tonight. Have you guys eaten? I have a roast going.” He was speaking a thousand words a minute. It was actually rather cute to see the usually suave magician flustered.

“Lyney, calm down,” You laugh. “A roast sounds lovely, don’t you think, Scara?” The cat boy was scowling in the background, not fond of the light blush on your face when talking to the blonde.

“..fine, whatever makes you happy, y/n.” His tail flicked in annoyance. Scaramouche wasn’t fond of beef, but he knew that he needed the energy for their activities tonight. The cat boy’s eyes sizzled at the thought of those activities.

As Lyney invites the two of you in, you can’t help but to be in awe of his house. It had an old-timey aesthetic, lined with wooden bookcases and dressers in the hall way. The hallway split off into multiple rooms, with a modern looking kitchen at the end. The smell of the roast greeted you as you got closer to the kitchen; it had obviously been slow cooking for hours upon hours.

“Make yourselves at home,” Lyney says in an upbeat voice. “I’ll grab the plates. Eat as much as you like, my siblings have already had their fill.”

He must mean Lynette, you muse to yourself.

“So when do we get to the fun?” Scaramouche asks abruptly, ears twitching impatiently. “Save the pleasantries and let’s get on with it. I need you to hurry up and teach y/n how to work the damn book so I can get rid of you."

Lyney almost teleports across the room and grabs Scaramouche’s chin, purple eyes twinkling mischievously. "We'll see how long you'll be saying that, mon chéri. I think you'll find some of the more fun things can only be done between you and I." He winks and gracefully grabs plates and chairs for dinner. If you didn't know better, you'd think that you were watching the furniture and tableware come to life.

As you guys eat, you set boundaries for the night; each party having a say in what they did and did not want to do along with safe words. Lyney offers up toys or all sizes for you guys to use, along with the thoughts of sitting some of the action out to let you enjoy your cat boy one on one. He wasn’t going to leave you alone in case something went wrong; he’d be watching over you.

“Oh, yeah, I completely forgot to mention, yes you will be getting cat ears and a tail again; it’s part of procedure at this point. Don't ask why; apparently the creator of the tome had a thing for cat boys or cat girls or something like that," Lyney mentions casually. You weren't going to lie though: having cat ears and tail made you feel closer to your precious cat boy.

Lyney leads you two to one of the side rooms that has a bed with a canopy, surrounded by mirrors and few dim lights. There was a dresser on the left side of the bed, supposedly with the lube and toys Lyney had mentioned over dinner. The sheets were pink and appeared to be satin and the comforter was rather plush.

"Here you guys go!" Lyney leads you two in, arms stretched out. "The mirrors are two way, so I can see you, but you can't see me. Any questions? Remember: the magic words are felis nekomas. I did not make the phrase; blame the creator."

"Felis nekomas!" You say in a timid voice, scared of the tome not responding to you. To your surprise, you feel the sensation of the cat ears and tail sprouting from your head and back, wiggling on their own at first. You catch Scaramouche looking at you in awe when he turns away, face flushed with pink.

"Now, the shrinking or growing is variable," Lyney continues on. "Since it's a two way street, you can shrink him and he can do the same to you. Likewise with making each other bigger. Now granted, you can also be selfish and use the magic on yourself, but it'll be less efficient. Any questions so far? Also, same rules apply as last time: cumming will make you shrink and if you cum in or on each other, you will grow" You and Scaramouche shake your heads. "I'll keep an eye on you both; make sure to put on a good show for me, will you? I want to enjoy myself tonight too."

“Lyney, what is the actual purpose of the room?” You question him.

“It was my master’s room, and where I learned how to do magic. I figured it would be a great place to set the mood.”

You and your cat boy exchange glances, wondering what to try first, and how to give the magician the show of a lifetime. You decide that you were going to let Scaramouche take the lead since he was not in control at all last time. As the door shuts behind you two, you drag your cat boy over the bed and start kissing him gently, starting on the forehead, then progressing down to his lips.

As you deepen the kiss by biting gently at his lip, his hands move themselves down your body, eventually finding their way to your tail. Once he was at the base, he tugged gently, sending shivers up your spine. You gasp and Scaramouche uses this opportunity to thrust his tongue in your mouth, swirling his tongue around yours.

"Sc-scara," you moan, your senses overwhelmed by him. He deepens the kiss, and starts to push you backwards on the bed, one hand moving to cradle the back of your head. His knee moves between your legs, rubbing against your throbbing pussy.

"Heh," He chuckles. "If kissing has you this turned on, I'd hate to see the state of your pussy." The cat boy practically rips off your shirt, revealing the lacey bra. His eyes widen; you were wearing his favorite lingerie set.

"So cute, but don't you think you're wearing a bit too much?"

Scaramouche unhooks your bra and discards it, leaving your erect nipples exposed. The room wasn't cold by any means; they were stiff from arousal. He leans down and swirls your nipple with his tongue and groping the other one with his hand. His slightly rougher than normal tongue enhances the sensation ten fold. As he bites at the nipple, running his tongue over the sensitive bud even faster, your hands start to move towards your dripping sex. Scaramouche grabs your hands and holds them above your head, shaking his head.

"Now," the cat boy says with a devilish grin. "It wouldn't be fair of my pretty little cat girl to get her pleasure first." His nails dig into your wrists as you rub your legs together in an attempt at soothing the burning sensation of arousal.

He presses his knee further into your crotch, his face daring you to rub yourself off on it. You start to rub your still clothed pussy on his leg, when he pulls it away, tutting at you.

"You still have too much on," as he takes off your skirt, leaving you in a lacy thong and thigh high socks. Scaramouche knew about the stockings as they completed your outfit very well, but the selection of panties was a pleasant surprise.

The cat boy slides the crotch of your almost non existent underwear to one side and starts running his tongue across your clit. As you approach the peak, Scaramouche growls, "Say my name," through licks.

"S-scara! I'm c-cumming!!" You are almost screaming at this point, pleasure rolling over you. “Scara, pl-please! I-I need your dick inside m-me!”

“Good girls cum in my mouth first.”

As you cum, you start to feel the familiar icy hot sensation of shrinking underneath your lover. Your formerly too tight underwear and stockings were now comically too big. In contrast though, his tight clothing becoming even tighter; his bulge becoming even more prominent. Scaramouche had a Cheshire cat-like grin on his face; the sight of your small body underneath him, the anticipation of your tight, hot pussy, waiting to be filled by his throbbing cock.

Once the shrinking stops, you notice that you are about seven inches to a foot smaller now, but Scaramouche grew by the same margin. He towers over you as he grabs your pretty little face and slams his lips into yours. Scaramouche quickly unbuttons his pants and practically rips them off, revealing a big, flaming red cock, dripping with precum. You start to wonder how that's even going to fit in you at this point, but more importantly: you were enraptured at the thought of being impaled by your lover.

"You want this in your pussy, don't you?" He smirks, not missing the lust in your eyes. "Too bad. Good little whores only get this cock in their mouth." You start salivating at the sight of the precum dripping down the shaft. "But first: I think you deserve this." He holds up a slightly bigger than average dildo with a clit stimulator, although at this size, the toy was almost too big. Scaramouche slams the toy inside you, causing you to moan a little bit. He shows you the remote with an evil grin on his face, hinting that he was going to turn it on at any moment.

"And you're not allowed to cum until I do. Can't have you getting any smaller before you please me. Now: suck"

You gently start licking the tip of his cock, starting at the slit and working your tongue around the head. Your tiny hands were gently massaging up and down the shaft, although they could barely wrap themselves around the large member. As Scaramouche moans in pleasure from stimulation, he finds himself wanting more.

“Haaa, don’t be afraid to stick the whole thing in your mouth, you know. If you do, I’ll reward you,” the cat boy moans. As soon as your mouth wraps around the tip, he turns the toy to the lowest setting, making you moan in surprise and delight. The vibrations send shivers down his shaft, his cock almost bursting from the pleasure.

With a sadistic smile, he looks down on you and cranks the toy up the max setting making you yelp and moan in surprise.

“S-Scara!” You cry, tears pulling at the edges of your eyes. All of your senses were being overwhelmed by the taste and smell of his dick and the vibrating toy in your pussy. “I ne-need to cum!” You manage to moan with his member in your mouth.

“Good girls w-wait for their p-partner to cum first,” He moans, ears twitching in pleasure. Scaramouche just needed more of your tiny mouth and was prolonging the act to try to get more of it.

You feel his dick pulsating in your mouth along with your abused clit and all the sensations sent you over the edge before your partner could attain his high. You groan in frustration and pleasure as you shrink with your mouth stuffed full of cock leaking even harder than before. Scaramouche notices that the toy was becoming too big for your hole, and begins leaving a bulge in your stomach and starts fucking your face faster and faster.

"Haa, you f-feel so d-damn tight. A small, perfect little mouth, j-just for m-me," He moans out. "B-be a good girl a-and swallow it all, hmm." You nod vigorously, the tip of his massive cock barely in your mouth. Your tongue runs over his slit right before he cums in your mouth, a sweet, salty, but yet bitter release. You swallow the entirety of his load, opening your mouth as proof you swallowed it all.

As the magic would have it, you eventually grew a little bit and your cat boy was back to his original size, if not a bit smaller; his pants and shirt that were tight to begin with now a bit looser. You wrap your tail around his, noticing how right it felt. As you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you became self-conscious of how small you looked beside him now, but somehow it felt so right.

You had forgotten the toy was still inside of you as Scaramouche pulled it out, it was dripping with your juices. The cat boy did something you’d never expect him to do: lick the toy clean, growing a bit as he did so. After the toy was licked clean, he then shoved his fingers back in your abused hole and swirled them around, hitting that sweet spot, causing you to arch your back in pleasure.

“Hnng, Scara,” You moan, voice becoming winey. “I just c-came, i-it’s too much.”

His ear flicked, as if he heard something in the background. “Shh, darling, we still have to give the magician a show of a lifetime,” he murmurs in your ears, breath stimulating you even further.

Scaramouche lifts you up effortlessly and slams you down on his dick, facing away from him, staring at the two of you in the mirror. You try to turn your face away in shame but his delicate but strong hands grab your chin and force you to look at yourself, face stained with tears of pleasure. He was covered in sweat, hair plastered to his face, but it made him look even hotter, not that he wasn’t before.

“I think our friend is watching; if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was enjoying himself. Same could be said for yourself.” His voice was a drug at this point, clouding over your mind. The more he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, the more turned on you became, bouncing up and down on his cock, looking at yourself in the mirror, embarrassment. You tried to look away a few more times, but each and every time, he’d force you to look back at the mirror, pulling on your tail or ears as he did.

All of a sudden, he bites down on your neck, your walls clenching down even harder on his dick as he does so, prompting him to bite even harder harder on the other side. The cat boy almost came the first time your walls clenched down on him, but the second time he bit down, he emptied ropes of hot cum in your abused hole.

You can feel him shrinking underneath you, his shirt almost two sizes too big now. As you got bigger, you could feel him starting to get hard again despite just cumming inside of you just now. Your poor cat boy just couldn’t get enough of you, big or small. He tries to move out from under you, but you flip him around and straddle his face so he could lick you clean.

“Now, lick,” you command, and he nods furiously. Scaramouche’s semi-rough tongue starts at your clit, stimulating it to almost another orgasm, but you decide to hold out for one last round. He then moves his way to your hole, tongue lapping up every last bit of the mixed juices. This time, however, you stop the spell from changing your sizes; you wanted to end the night like this before canceling the spell.

“Mmph,” Scaramouche moans. “So b-bitter; I l-like it. Aren’t I supposed to be growing though?” He suddenly asks in a clearer voice.

You giggle; teasing what you could see of his ears. “Sorry, honey, I want you to stay underneath me for a bit longer.”

As he slurped the juices from your sex, you orgasm one last time, before releasing the spell, returning you both back to normal albeit a bit messier than what you started. Your tail and cat ears recede slowly, eventually disappearing entirely. Panting, you look around for Lyney when he appears right beside you, clapping with a big smile on his face despite being a bit disheveled himself. If you had to guess, he was probably pleasuring himself while you and Scaramouche were going at it. The fact that mirrors were two way meant that he could have seen how small and needy you had become, the thought making you blush slightly.

"Bravo, mon chéri" Lyney says, eyes twinkling. He then grabs Scaramouche’s face, eyeing him top to bottom. His ears flicked in annoyance, jerking his face out of the magician's hand. "You guys are marvelous! Especially you, Scaramouche. The look on your face as you-” Your cat boy’s hand covers his mouth before he could go any further. You chuckle awkwardly, still pretty well fucked out and basking a bit in the after glow.

“Shut it…” Scaramouche mumbles, a flush of red marking his face. Although he knew that Lyney was watching them, and even knew exactly where he was to try and give him the best angle, he still was embarrassed after the fact. He turns his head towards you and asks if you two were staying the night as it was quite late and none of you guys had anywhere to be in the morning. You sarcastically ponder for a moment before saying yes.

“Great! I knew this was going to happen, so I prepared a room for you two!” Lyney absolutely beamed; it wasn’t often he had guests, especially ones that put on such a show for him. He does an over exaggerated magician's bow.“Right this way then!”

You two follow him down the long hallway before arriving at a wooden door which opens into a large open room, not unsimilar to the one you were just in, minus the mirrors. The bed had the same type of satin sheets, but this time in blue although the comforter was just as plush as the other one.

“Room comes with its own bath so you guys can refresh yourselves before bed. I feel like you guys might need it,” Lyney winks. Knowing what he was getting at, you accepted his offer, but told him no funny business. Scaramouche scowls in the background, but the magician shrugs him off.

Thanking him as he steps out, you strip down to go relax in the bath. You extend the offer to the cat boy to come in with you, but he shakes his head and mutters something about not wanting to get water in his ears.

Sighing, you step into the huge, white bathroom that looked like it had a swimming pool in the middle, which you discovered was the actual relaxing area. Upon closer inspection, you notice that this pool had what looked like hot tub jets-perfect for relaxing sore muscles after a long stressful day. You almost start to wonder if this was Lyney’s personal bathroom, but shake your head at the preposterous thought. No way he would let guests into his precious space, right?

You head over to the wash area and rise yourself off before settling down into the tub, letting the heat and jets add to the bliss of being fucked out earlier. As your mind starts to wander, a shadow looms over you.

“Scara?” You question sleepily. “I thought you didn’t want to bathe with me tonight.”

A pair of hands cover your eyes, startling you awake. You try to squirm out of them, but they have a firm grip on you.

"Guess who?"

#genshin impact #genshin #Genshin smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche smut #scaramouche #lyney #ooc lyney #Magic bullshit #Size kink #cat boi

74 notes · View notes

theoneandonlyblob · 8 months

Text

Some critters I doodled in a car ride for the croaker planet.

I am going to create little descriptions for them since I have nothing better to do :p. A bunch of stuff under the cut.

The little bird guy at the very top is a gourd predator, breaking into the seed gourds and eating them. Croakers sometimes follow the little guys in hopes of a seed snack.

The critter right underneath the little bird guy hunts in shallow water where it sifts through the freshwater swamps for plankton, small fish analogues, and some critters that are related to the wingless worm thingy at the very bottom.

Then the shrimp crab thingy in the middle left. Their cerci were repurposed for a display purpose. They live on the shores and in shallow freshwater habitats. They can be cooked, grilled, and fried if you ever wanted to try alien crab. Croakers in the areas where they live use them as a staple food in their diet.

Then in the very middle we have the weird bug :D. Out of all the weird little bugs in their planet the group this guy belongs to is closest to the “vertebrates” of the planet. This specific species is a herbivore that can usually be found crawling in dense foliage. These sparrow sized critters will suddenly leap out of the bushes and fly if they think they’ve been spotted. This usually results in the creature that it thought had seen them being startled and realizing it was a weird bug :p.

At the very bottom we have a worm with legs. These guys are found in clean waters and are good indicator species. They are food for many of the critters that call the rivers and swamps home. They occasionally become food for croaker chicks but are usually left alone.

Then the final one the Swamp Dragon. These guys can be found in rivers across the western continent. They feature in many, many croaker myths and legends. Some tell tales of them being foul vile creatures stealing food from unsuspecting croakers that worked hard for their catch while others tell of a strong noble creature that works hard for their food. In reality both of these are true. They will do a bit of kleptoparasitism but also catch their own food most of the time. They share the same food source of fish and other aquatic animals so there has probably been some of that going on between croakers and them but there’s only been a few documented cases. Plus croakers would probably just give the food to them since they are freakin massive compared to them. (Croakers are egret sized btw)

welp hope y’all enjoyed this thing :D

#speculative biology #xenobiology #speculative evolution #worldbuilding #critters #spec bio #spec evo #Croakers

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metalandmagi · 2 years

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I’m once again going to talk about the most insane Disney Channel Original Movie franchise

Hello, and welcome to me screaming about the latest movie in the most bizarre Disney Channel Original Movie franchise ever created, ZOMBIES 3. I’m a grown adult woman, and yet I can’t stop myself from going feral every time they announce a new one of these movies. Every time I think the last one was a fever dream, they make a new one that’s even more colorful and 10x crazier.

Here are my thoughts with absolutely zero context:

Zed wants to be the first zombie to go to college when his best friend is a literal genius who works for a tech company who any real college would be begging to accept...what the fuck is this movie?

Not only is their school football team pro monsters, but they’re also co-ed!

I’m calling it now, the town’s “most precious thing” is going to be Addison.

DON’T MAKE THE WEREWOLF GUY LIKE ELIZA, SHE’S CLEARLY A LESBIAN!

We got 10 minutes into the movie before getting a song??!

THIS MOVIE THAT RELIES ON SO MANY CHARACTERS WEARING WIGS HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BUDGET FOR GOOD WIGS!

I love that no adult in any DCOM knows how to act.

Is one of the aliens non-binary?

Is the alien mothership voiced by RuPaul?

EJ FROM HSMTMTS IS IN THIS MOVIE!? AND HE’S BASICALLY THE SAME CHARACTER?! And Meg Donnelly is going to be in the new season that airs on the 27th...this is begging for a crossover or a meta joke. Something, I’m begging you people!

Okay for real though, No Doubt About It is a bop.

There is a rival school whose mascot is an Eel named Eely and they have a...friendship...rivalry...romance(?) with the Seabrook shrimp?!

Love that they imply that a teenage boy, (Jacey?), has had multiple nose jobs. Also the Aceys are definitely in a polyamorous relationship.

They named the frozen yogurt place “Coach’s Froyo” 😆😆😆

I see we’re continuing the tradition of Addison punching Zed in the face whenever he surprises her.

I appreciate that we’re not dicking around and drawing out the realization that Addison is part alien. We all knew she was going to be after the second movie’s teaser.

I love that we get a song about aliens invading and a song about interviewing for college in the same movie.

We’ve gotten about 70% less Bucky, and Idk how to feel about that. Also his choice in hats has convinced me that he would be the ideal boyfriend for Ryan from High School Musical.

Why do the judges for this high school cheer off seem so awkwardly horny? Also do they know the aliens are actual aliens...or do they just think that’s their team name? I’m assuming they know...in which case, they seem pretty chill about it.

How does Seabrook afford to have different cheerleading outfits for every competition?

Does this movie have a different choreographer? The cheerleading sequences have so much less energy than the first movie’s. I know the song Addison’s singing has a slower tempo...but the moves are so bland. I guess this is what happens when Bucky isn’t the team captain.

If y’all thought Addison’s white hair wig was bad...get ready for her BLUE HAIR WIG.

Oh wow, Addison is the town’s “most precious thing” who would have guessed?

Addison’s dad is so chill with his wife and daughter being descended from aliens XD These adults went from being extremely racist/species-ist to just shrugging and accepting an alien invasion.

The werewolves in this movie can barely enunciate while wearing their fangs!

I literally don’t care about any of this alien finding utopia bullshit, I just want to see Zed and Addison in college together.

It’s not a ZOMBIES movie without a reprise of Someday.

Addison’s best friend sings literally one solo line in this movie and it’s enough to make me want a whole musical with her as the star.

Seabrook must exist in a vacuum because these aliens would be real disappointed to find out that Earth sucks as much as it does.

Werewolf leader and non-binary alien are going to be a thing!? I’m here for it!

Omg Zed and Addison singing the last song around the lightbulbs as a callback to the first movie 😭

I don’t know whether to be happy at the expectation subversion of getting aliens in this town before vampires...or sad that I don’t get to see this universe’s take on vampires.

The message of this movie is that conflict doesn’t have to be bad. Love perseveres, conflict can make us stronger if we come together to face our problems. This makes sense in a vague, idealistic way, but the conflict that the town was facing originally was essentially racism. So...I feel like they might want to rethink that one a little bit.

I also want to appreciate how non-binary alien’s (I should really remember their name by now) “feelings” for Zed were purely used for comedy and no real drama comes from this. Addison and Zed are a supportive power couple and have literally no conflict with each other throughout the entire movie, even when Addison believes she has to leave him behind.

Overall, the songs are better than the second one’s but still not as good as the first’s. And I wish we’d give up on these movies having a plot and focus on this crazy cheerleading obsessed town again.

Anyway, I want a million more of these movies. But this one went straight to Disney+ so my fever dream might end here...

#disney zombies #zombies 3 #z-o-m-b-i-e-s #it's time once again for me to rant about this children's franchise that no one cares about #i'm spoiling the shit out of this children's movie btw #if anyone cares about spoilers

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cassandralexxx · 14 days

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I mentioned to my friends that shrimp rave is back (bc shrimplybeautiful hadn’t gone live in many months) and they were being haters :(

Was getting responses like “oh so _(me)_ is the weird one” and when talking about shrimp rave “I feel like it’d put me to sleep”.

like sorry y’all are lame and don’t get why it’s fun but it’s something that I rlly love and I didn’t need to get clowned on for liking it :,(

#mylife #I fricking love shrimp rave #Like have you losers considered that things can be goofy silly and fun #If you couldn’t tell my feelings are hurt about this 😵‍💫#Like I was obviously genuinely excited about it idk why they had to make fun of me for it #Like Ik I care bout this for more than just shrimp reasons but still:(

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elysia-nsimp · 1 year

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Tagging: @queerlordsimon @thesunshineriptide @aetherphobia @end3rm1st @ladyzsgolla

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 5 // Part 6

Warnings: Cursing, caps, joking threats

Enjoy lmao

——

Leona: anyway please stop shoving paper up your ass

——

Yuu: they’re so louuddddd

Floyd, handing them scissors: go get them

——

Ruggie: The theme is jungle animals why is Hatsune Miku here

——

Deuce: maybe the real lollipops were the friends we made along the way :)

Trey: no. eat food.

——

Jack, holding up a teachers pass:

Epel: you don’t need to hold the pass up, you look like a police officer

Jack: Its like I have full immunity to everything, just like a real police badge!

——

Trey, walking into a classroom:

Ruggie, pulling tissues out of a box:

Them, making eye contact as Ruggie rapidly removes tissues:

Trey: …im not gonna question

Ruggie: good. [RUNS AWAY]

——

Riddle: are you really over there insulting a bug?

Deuce: ITS BEING A DUMBASS

——

Ruggie: Good job escaping Colonel Sanders “The Riddler”

——

Ace: I couldn’t decide if I was gonna say “crunky” or “cookie” so I said “kroonky”

——

Jack: I will protect you from glowsticks and danny devito

Yuu: thank you

——

Floyd, throwing a stuffed shrimp around then biting it:

Yuu: What are you DOING to that poor thing

Floyd: showing it love and affection

Yuu: …PLEASE don’t fall in love with me

——

Deuce: I thought this was a movie about skiing. Lord help us all.

——

Ace: mariah carey’s spirit has possessed me starting today

Deuce: I’m calling an exorcist.

——

Lilia: ITS MY WAY OR THE HIGH WAY

[highway to hell starts playing]

——

Azul: That's why we don't enforce child labor--because they'd suck at it

——

Riddle: i think I know more about semi-colons than YOU DO

——

Floyd: fill your mind with shrek! be free!!

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Ruggie: I, too, am tiny, and scared, and have no money

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Idia: get in bitch we're going to eeby deeby where the souls are damned and the girls are pretty

——

Epel: y’all eat your eggs with or without the crust?

Jack: what a terrible day to have ears

——

Azul: maybe american flags are the new cryptocurrency

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Idia: i do not care about freddy fabear's love life

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Vil: Do not throw the ham across the library!

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Jack: you look very intense

Leona: yea my face just does that

Jack: yea mine too

——

Azul: Mansplain, manipulate, malewife

Floyd, NOT PAYING ATTENTION: that's donkey from shrek

——

Deuce: It’s not even objectively true, it’s right!

——

The dark mirror: i sense no magiwal powew fwom dis one. cowowless, shapeless, vaycant

——

Kalim: The animals not gay enough for Jumanji get sent to jonga

Jamil: I just looked it up. Jonga is a vehicle. What the fuck?

——

Trey: nope, just sleeping

Ace: free trial of death?

Trey: no, just sleeping

Ace: free trial of death, with ads?

——

Jack: Explain to me, Ruggie, where are the vocal cords in the donut?

——

Floyd: i could randomly yell somethin- FUCK THERE WENT MY MEATSTICK

——

Deuce: YOU CANT DEATTACH YOUR BRAIN

Ace: SAYS WHO

Deuce: ME! I SAY SO!

——

Idia: the further down this mountain I go the more alliums I find

Cater: is it candy mountain

Idia: NO

——

My Yuu, Comet: Does this mean I get free tea and foot rubs when I get married? 🥺

Vil: Marry someone who will make you tea and give you foot rubs! If they can’t make you tea and give you foot rubs, that isn’t someone to marry!

Jade, threateningly: Establish it early.

——

Floyd, to Rook: Comment dit’on… ‘gET OFF MY ASS YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER’

(Comment dit’on is French for “how do you say”)

——

The sheer amount of quotes of Idia and Floyd being said by me is sending me

Anyway hope you enjoy. I still have many… MANY more.

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sleepless-translation · 2 years

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Phantom Troupe Drama CD English Translation-Track 02

CD : HUNTER×HUNTER～Next Episode Scene 3 幻影旅団 (Link)

Track 02. ヨークシン中華料理店 “A Chinese Restaurant in York New” starts at 00.50

Disclaimer:

This is a fun bonus content from the 1999 anime that I decided to translate because I want others to enjoy it too (´꒳`)♡ Do note that some of the characters might act in an unusual comedic manner.

Summary:

The Phantom Troupe is enjoying dinner at a Chinese restaurant in York New before their big mission. Everyone is here, and they're having a good time wreaking havoc.

[Chrollo] Let us eat.

[Everyone] Thank you for the meal!

[Uvogin] Oh yeah! Eat up!

[Nobunaga] Time to dig in!

[Feitan] Thank you for food.

[Hisoka] Turns out food tastes better when eating in a big group.

[Machi] Shizuku, stop spinning the table like that.

[Shizuku] Can’t help it.This table really does a spin!

[Kortopi] Ah! My meatball is on the other side!

[Franklin] That’s enough, Shizuku. We can’t eat like this.

[Shizuku] But It’s fun…

[Nobunaga] Hey! That was my chili shrimp!

[Uvogin] Say that again?!

[Nobunaga] Don't be cocky, Uvo.

[Uvogin] You're the cocky one!

[Nobunaga] You bastard!

[Uvogin] What was that?!

[Shalnark] I’ve had enough! Eat more quietly! Ah! I’ll have that!

[Uvo and Nobu] GYAH! Shal, you!!!

[Shalnark] Eh?

[Uvogin] You ate it all!

[Shalnark] Aha! We could just order more.

[Nobunaga] Shal, the real issue is not having the food in front of you when you want to eat it.

*Uvo and Nobu barking at each other*

[Pakunoda] Geez. Boss, have a drink..

[Shizuku] Everyone is acting like a child.

[Machi] Shizuku. You say that, yet, who's the one stacking up sesame dumplings and peking duck on their plate?

[Nobunaga?] Gyah! I told you that’s my mapo tofu!

[Feitan] Says who? First come first serve!

[Phinks] Can’t y’all eat in silence?!

[Nobunaga?] Gyarghh.

[Shalnark] Why is this salt crusted chicken so tough?

[Kortopi] Since the salt is too hard to crack, we can't eat the roasted chicken inside.

[Uvogin] Alright! Just leave it to me! *Dramatic gasps*

[Uvogin] Here I go. Bing bang-

[Shalnark] Argh! Cut it out, Uvo!

[Uvogin] What’s wrong? We need to crack this salt crust right?

[Kortopi] The chicken inside will also blow up to pieces, you know. Be gentle.

[Uvogin] Ugh. How annoying. I’ll use 5% of my strength then.

*Kapow*

[Shalnark] Wahaha. Hooray! Way to go, Uvo!

[Kortopi] It’s finally open! It looks delicious.

[Uvogin] Arghh. Was that really salt? Why was it so tough? Huff. By the way, what time is it now?

[Shalnark] Hm? Right now it’s… past 8 pm.

[Uvogin] I see.

[Kortopi] Are you going somewhere?

[Uvogin] It’s just- there’s this job coming up in the community to rob the items in the auction.

[Shalnark] That’s nothing to worry about.

[Uvogin] I guess so.

[Shalnark] What’s wrong? Is something in your mind? You look as if this is going to be your last meal.

[Uvogin] Heck you talking about? It’s nothing like that… Aurgh! Kortopi! You bastard!!!

[Shalnark] Huh?! When did you eat all that chicken?!

[Kortopi] That was delicious.

[Uvogin] It was goood?!

[Shalnark] Sobs.

[Pakunoda] Boss, let me wipe your mouth.

[Shizuku] Wow. Everyone is a glutton.

[Machi] Shizuku, while you’re saying that, could you stop hogging the almond jellies and mango puddings?

…

[Uvogin] Hey, Shal!

[Shalnark] What?!

[Uvogin] Where’s my meat?!

[Shalnark] Isn’t this your meat?!

[Uvogin complaining about something]

[Shalnark] Don’t talk about the chicken!

[Nobunaga] Franklin! Franklin! Frankfurt!

[Everyone complaining at each other]

[Shalnark] Argh! shut the hell up! I’ll eat that!

*Dramatic screeching*

…

[Nobunaga] Hisoka! Each person gets 3 pieces each for that! How many did you eat?!

[Hisoka] Oh my. What are you saying? All the while, you should look to your side…

[Nobunaga] Gyah! Phinks! That pork stew I was looking forward to eat last… You bastard! I’ll cut you!

[Phinks] Oh? Try me.

*Kapow*

[Shizuku] No quarrel between members of the troupe.

[Phinks] Smacked by blinky from the back. Isn’t that harsh..?

[Hisoka] Well. Should I steal the crab from Nobunaga's plate…?

[Shalnark] Hisoka~ Don’t take anything from that plate.

[Hisoka] “We steal what we desire” is how we do things, right? Now, before anyone notices. Let me camouflage that roasted baby pig with dokkiri texture.

[Phinks] Feitan! Stop leaving out the green peppers from the fish cake and eat them! It's all green!

[Feitan] What I eat my business. Phinks one to talk. You only take quail eggs from the babaocai.

[Franklin] Listen, I don't care what you guys eat or don’t eat. Just don't stick your chopsticks straight into the platter!

[Franklin] Hey, Uvo. Use a spoon when you’re eating fried rice!

[Uvogin] Got it.

[Nobunaga] My head hurts… Okay, next is…

[Franklin] Nobunaga, don't rummage through the meal with your chopstick. It's bad manners.

[Kortopi] Ah ~ The thick grains of Kesennuma’s sticky rice absorbs the flavor of the Kinka Ham to the fullest, creating a symphony on your tongue~

[Shalnark] Hmm~ Even with all this chaos, Bonolenov is still not saying a word.

[Phinks] He’s just eating in silence. How does he eat with all those bandages anyway?

[Shalnark] I wonder…

[Pakunoda] Boss, say aah~

[Chrollo] Aah.

[Shizuku] With everyone like this, we're going to run out of food soon!

[Machi] Shizuku..! Don’t let Blinky suck the bird's nest soup!!! It will gobble it all up!

…

[Chrollo] These guys… even now they probably still want to have it all.

════════ End of track ════════

TL Notes & Commentary:

Because of the loud background noises, I had to omit some of the things they said. During the adlib part I only wrote what I could hear clearly sorry :< But I tried to be as accurate as possible. If you figured out what I’m missing please talk to me about it!

Chrollo’s last line here is a reference to his monologue in chapter 102 of the manga that says "In the beginning, we just wanted…" in the official translation. I have to say, though, that both the official and unofficial translations of that line are a bit misleading. The way those translations worded it makes it seem like he wanted "something" in particular, and "it" is the one that started his journey as a thief. But it’s actually more like a general desire to acquire, to own what they couldn’t get when they were all kids, that they “merely sought to possess.” Then everything escalated, they became top criminals and their friend had to die. The official one omits the “it” but honestly the sentence feels unfinished and the added dots are not helping either 😭 Well, translating nuance isn’t easy, but I have no idea why they added those “...” lmao.

Here’s a pic of the Japanese sentence:

No "..." in sight

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