#Why do y’all want this relationship to suck and be bad I don’t understand
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Every time I see someone even reference Will hating his dad or being really annoyed with Apollo in ToA I swear I go insane.
Will loves his dad! Apollo loves Will! If you want a character with daddy issues literally pick ANY OTHER CHARACTER IN THE RIORDANVERSE!!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!? LET THEM HAVE A LOVING RELATIONSHIP I SWEAR TO GOD.
#trials of apollo#sunny speaks#toa apollo#lester papadopoulos#will solace#and like even if you want to explore the nuance of their relationship and issues Will might have#which I agree is an interesting topic#It’s all based on love because they LOVE EACH OTHER#Why do y’all want this relationship to suck and be bad I don’t understand#ahhhhhhhhhhh#rant
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Thinking about hybrid Leons and muzzles.
For puppy Leon, you do it because his mouth is basically attached to your cunt 25/8. He begs to fall asleep suckling it, he begs to lick it good morning in the morning, and he begs to make out with it when he sees you after to work. Your clit is becoming constantly engorged, sticking out through your panties, and it’s /so/ sensitive. You tell Leon that he can still use his puppy cock with you, since you can never deny either of you the feeling of him knotting you, but he’s wearing a muzzle for a bit to make sure your clit heals a bit. He’s begging for anything else, he promises he’ll be a good boy and just suck on your pussy lips, just stick his tongue inside, you can’t deny him his favorite meal, please! But you know if you let his mouth anywhere near your pussy, he’ll suck your soul out your clit, and you would be too horny to stop him. So you have a pouty little puppy humping you like his life depends on it, his tongue trying to slip out through the muzzle to at least taste your skin but he can’t reach and he’s already to fucked dumb to understand why and he’s whining and whimpering and crying for a taste of you. Finally, you just grab your drenched panties and stuff them through the muzzle to get him to shut up, and he slobbers all over them like they are the only thing keeping him alive. Puppy needs a taste of you more than he needs to knot you, and that’s saying something.
For dog Leon, you have to do it because he can’t stop himself from biting you and honestly the wounds are getting a bit excessive since y’all fuck so much. Not to mention, you have an important event coming up with a lot of people, which makes Leon more possessive which means he gets more ruthless with his bites, breaking the skin to show off the indents of his teeth for days. You finally put your foot down with the muzzle, and say either he wears it to make sure he doesn’t bite, or you don’t duck until after the event is over. He’s pissed, wanting nothing more than to hold you down and put you in your place with his teeth holding the back of your neck, you’re his to fuck and mark as much as he wants. But you stay firm, telling him you won’t back down from this, that you will safe word out of the situation because the bites are starting to effect you physically and financially (since it will effect your job). He growls, more so at the fact he has to wear a muzzle because you don’t trust his self-control (rightfully so he reluctantly agrees) than you setting a firm boundary (he makes a mental note to tell you he is proud and happy that you expressed a boundary with him and that you were willing to use your safe word even when he seemed aggressive, because he may be driven by his instincts but he still loves you and needs you to feel safe and respected in this relationship). He’s mashing his teeth, snarling and trying to bite at you as he fucks into you violently. He’s cum twice but it doesn’t feel the same, nothing is satisfying if he can’t feel the give of your skin at his teeth, can’t taste your sweat on his tongue. His dirty talking is worse than it’s ever been now that he doesn’t have the ability to muffle it with your neck, and if you weren’t so knot drunk maybe you’d be more scandalized by it, but right now you’re only capable of cumming around your dog man’s fat dick
- 🐶
🐶 anon!! 🙌 🙌 😌 🙌 🙌
Oh my 🥴 🥴
Puppy Leon is so desperate 😩 😩 he just needs you so bad 😩
and dogman Leon being angry and snarling and gnashing his teeth while he fucks you? So hot 😵💫 😵💫 🤤
I love you 🐶 anon 😌
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My thoughts on John Mulaney & the Baby J special
There’s so many places I could start but it doesn’t matter because this is definitely gonna be long af.
So. I’m not exactly clear on what exactly the beef with Mulaney is. Here’s what I have heard:
People are upset about his addiction and stay in rehab. Honestly, I don’t understand why this is even a reason to be angry at someone. Parasocial relationships really have y’all pissed at this one man for something a lot of celebrities have done, are doing, and will continue to do. Dumb reason to vilify him.
Divorcing his wife and having a baby with another woman even after saying he didn’t want children. Okay, if he did cheat on his wife, that’s fucked up and he sucks for that. Another ‘my wife’ guy down the drain. But whether he cheated or not, the reason his marriage fell apart is not our business. Stop taking it personally.
Dave Chapelle transphobia when he opened for JM. Alright, I’ll give you this one. I don’t know the details (honestly I don’t really want to go looking for them), so I’m not going to say whether it did or didn’t happen and how bad it was. I’m a genderqueer person and it makes me sad that Mulaney may have knowingly let that joke happen. I wish he would say something.
I found Baby J comforting in a weird way. I went into it wondering if he was going to address any of the shit that happened in the past few years; I was thrilled to see that that is literally all the special was about.
Someone on tumblr said “John Mulaney is a piece of shit, but he’s still the funniest motherfucker out there” and dude. Yes. As always, his comedic timing was incredible.
Baby J made me laugh so hard. There was some killer lines in there that nearly knocked me out; his vibe is truly different, but there’s also still that token Mulaney dry humor. It reminded me why I took so much comfort in his past specials as a teenager, because his sarcasm and wit have never failed to make me smile. As I watched the special, I found myself relieved that he was back, happy that I have new John Mulaney content to meme about.
Don’t get me wrong, Baby J was not as raw and brutal as Bo Burnham’s Inside. If Mulaney had tried to make it like that, it would’ve been disingenuous and boring. He was true to his own humor and I things that’s really important.
Everything he said was blunt and honest. I noticed that he was genuinely laughing at his own jokes and the memories he was recounting. I don’t think anyone ever realized how truly buttoned up and rigid he was onstage in the last specials because we were all “hehe funny man runnin around”. Isn’t that wild? Suddenly he’s showing his real self, and I think that’s incredible. He’s imperfect and uncomfortable and that’s not something we haven’t gotten to see in celebrities very often.
I can’t speak from experience with addiction because I’ve never had an addiction. But I do understand that it’s a remarkable thing to overcome. I’m really happy for John Mulaney, and I’m very glad he’s doing better. Hopefully we’ll see some more improvement in him from here. I wish we could’ve gotten to hear more about what happened with his wife and the baby, but like I said that’s not really our business.
“When I’m alone, I realize I’m with the person who tried to kill me.” Okay but that one felt very personal, I won’t be taking questions.
TLDR; I think parasocial relationships are a big part of why people are pissed at John Mulaney, and we all need to recognize that. He’s a human being and he’s allowed to fuck up. Baby J was an incredible show from start to finish and I will be watching it a million more times.
#I’m probably going to get hate for this#but oh well#i stand by what i said#john mulaney#baby j#spirit rants
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So I've been trying to read more stuff on the al ghuls in comics and I already know so much can be.....counterintuitive depending on writing, but at one point I think in son of the demon ras says he fought the axis powers then death and the maidens he left Nyssa in a concentration camp 😭😭😭 how do u even parse thru everything tbhhhhh
Death and the Maidens is a run i read once and never want to touch again. Might be one of the worst comic runs i have ever read. I don’t hate many things but I hate that run so much I wish I could forget it.
It’s exactly what I mean when I say there’s moments of Ra’s being so unnecessarily evil, and it’s usually just to make another character look better/stronger/tougher. (Fanon does this too, especially with the other bat boys who afaik don’t have deep relationships with Ra’s like Bruce and Damian do.)
What reason does Ra’s (who is supposed to be a Brown Man and an extreme environmentalist) have to work with Hitler and let his own family suffer at the hand of Nazis??? Most of that was to build up Nyssa’s character as the “feisty bad girl oldest sister with daddy issues”. I think that wasn’t a great choice.
For many obvious reasons. In a world where anything can happen because it’s fiction, why use the suffering and tragedy of real people to portray a character being bad/evil? Why do you have to pair him off with some of the worst real life people? Also, how relevant is Nyssa’s entire character anyways? She doesn’t show up or do anything significant anymore. I would argue she wasn’t significant then either.
(There was also the weird pseudo incestuous thing with Nyssa and Talia where she took off all of Talia’s clothes and had her crawling around and clinging to her while naked that just…feels like it was written by A Man™️)
And it’s very much a product of its time. The 2000’s were…kind of bad for a lot of comics. It’s not a wild thing to believe that the villain who’s supposed to be Arab man in a post 9/11 world is compared to the likes of hitler for no reason other than to show readers he’s supposed to be a bad guy that we all need to hate.
Recently, in comics, Ra’s has had a redemption and has admitted his wrongdoings. Followed by him turning himself over to the authorities and wanting to share the science of the Lazarus Pit and his knowledge of Physiology with the rest of the world. Damian later came to understand that Ra’s did this because he was 100% serious about turning his life around and an “I’m sorry I was bad” wasn’t enough to prove to everyone that he wanted to be better.
Everyone can decide for themselves if they like this take on Ra’s or if they prefer him evil. At the end of the day it’s not my job to make sure everyone enjoys the character the way I do and learns what to ignore or look past. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That being said…nobody has to like my art or my headcanons or my takes on characters. Especially the Al Ghul’s. The things I make are not canon and I really don’t want them to be canon. I just like to create things and I like drawing cute stuff ! So…can y’all please be mindful of some of the tags and comments you leave on some of my sketches 🥲
I guess I kind of waffled on….the short answer would be some comics are very much written poorly or with some kind of bias and it’s up to you to decide if you want to acknowledge it. (Canon doesn’t seem to be acknowledging these things anymore so there’s no harm in us being like “yeah that sucked” and moving on to something else)
And to remember that at the end of the day, Ra’s is not real and he has never hurt real people.
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Little rant about the atwow fandom:
The way some ppl treat Quaritch like he’s better than jake sully and neytiri is insane. sure jake sully and neytiri made mistakes and didn’t always treat spider the best but quaritch is a COLONIZER! he’s a part of a genocide against the navi and y’all are treating him like he just made some small mistakes because he wasn’t absolutely terrible to spider. It’s kinda strange how all of y’alls morals go out of the window when you favorite white boy isn’t being treated right. You all will see a slight “soft side” in quaritch and ignore the horrible things that he did.
And i understand why ppl are kinda mad at neytiri for the way she treated spider and i agree with y’all. Spider is not his father and cannot be held responsible for his actions. But i also understand neytiri being at least a little put off by spider being there. And yeah sure her almost killing spider was kinda bad but you know what else is bad… QUARITCH TRYING TO KILL KIRI AT THE SAME TIME. neytiri didn’t just decide to hold a weapon to spider she did it cause quaritch was doing the same thing. not to mention before this scene her son died right in front of her so don’t expect her to be super chill and think rationally. I don’t think any of the kids should’ve been put in that sort of life or death situation but y’all love to talk about that scene but ignore the context and what quaritch was doing.
also yall acting like spider saving quaritch isn’t a bad thing is crazy to me. i understand why spider did it but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong. Honestly what he did was selfish. Saving a man who has been terrorizing the navi just because you want a father figure is WRONG!!!! I feel bad that spider was in this kind of situation and that he doesn’t really have a family but that doesn’t make saving quaritch ok.
also at the end of the day quaritch just kinda sucks in general as a dad. their entire relationship was just toxic and quaritch was using him to get to the sullys. Quaritch is a bad example and if u guys think jake sully bring his kids in the war was bad you better keep that same energy with quaritch cause he was doing that the whole time. Spider shouldn’t be raised by someone who is apart of/supports what the earth is doing on pandora.
#avatar#avatar way of water#avatar 2#jake sully#miles spider socorro#miles quaritch#neytiri#atwow#avatar quaritch#avatar spider#avatar jake#avatar neytiri#ranting#thinking thoughts#ive been thinking about this for a little while and i needed to make a post about it
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Wrestler Eric Cartman (aged up obvi) Pt. 7
I’m aware my problems are getting out of hand
It’s slowly becoming less wrestler Cartman 🥲
• Wrestling manager reader who wears platforms to be taller and the entire wrestling team has to convince her not to wear them at tournaments because they say it embarrasses them
• Tbh Cartman has a love-hate relationship with those boots because he loves how they look and how you look in them but makes y’all like, around the same height and he wants to be the taller one >:(
• When Eric has a crush he’s both obvious and not at the same time. He notices your huge land whale of a crush first and kinda teases you about it. Flirts with you sometimes to make you flustered (even after y’all start dating) . He tries keeping that “tough guy” persona he thinks he has but honestly he doesn’t have shit he’s just a lil delusional
• He’s totally smitten with you, like he’ll talk about you like y’all are married when you’re not around and the team is either encouraging him to or they’re haters 🙄 because they’re thinking “why would someone as sweet as you want him??? He’s an asshole” . You love that asshole tho soooo 😗
• Anywayssss
• You usually let Cartman take you home after tournaments and sometimes you get too tired to care what he thinks so you start taking off your bra (under your shirt tho, you ain’t crazy) and Cartman started freaking out because he thought you’d completely strip down. Once you’re finished he realized he was over reacting a bit and he calmed down but for the next week at school he wouldn’t shut up that “some chick” stripped down in front of him
• Next time Cartman annoys you when you’re staying over or he’s staying over you just throw the bra at him and it shuts him right up 💀
• At some point you go to Kyle because he knows Eric real well and you kinda get sucked into the black hole that’s that friend group
• You go to him like “I have something to tell you- but you can’t judge me”
• “What is it???”
• “I have a crush on someone and I really need you not to judge me”
• “It’s probably not that bad, just rip the bandaid off”
• “…. It’s Eric Cartman”
• “WHAT WHAT WHAT????! PUT THE BANDAID BACK ON”
• Kyle completely disapproves and is disappointed in you. He doesn’t understand what you see in him.
• Once he gets over the shock of it, bro totally makes fun of your crush on Eric. Probably tries setting you up one time and immediately gave up because Cartman got on his nerves
• ANYWAYS- if one of your teammates gets challenged it normally takes forever because it’s after finals and when everyone else is done wrestling. Imagine it’s almost 9 pm and the team is waiting for Kenny because he got challenged for 4th place. You and Cartman disappear because y’all went to go sit in like, a hidden part of the bleachers and y’all fall asleep togetherrrr
• Ofc you bring a blanket to lay on with you because the bleachers are nasty and you guys are technically between the bleachers/on the floor so y’all can have some alone time
• Kenny has to wrestle the guy that challenged him without a manager because you and Cartman fell asleep cuddling together. The team goes on a whole hunt for you guys because no one can find one of the only heavy weights left at the tournament and a girl sleeping on him with a Tupperware of cookies 🙄
• LIKE ITS NOT THAT HARD BUT THEY’RE BLIND IG
• Kenny literally followed the smell of cookies and Cartman’s sweat to find y’all
• You literally don’t give a shit how he smells because it kinda smells really good. Like that one smell where your brain is like “Eww, that kinda gross but it also smells super good and you don’t mind it that much… gimme more rn >:(“
• The team complains about how Eric stinks but you’re just in the corner with him shoving your face in his neck and discreetly sniffing every now and then
• IT ITCHES THAT SPOT IN YOUR BRAIN WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY???
IS IT BETTER???
Pt. 4 , Pt. 5 , Pt. 6 , Pt. 8 , Pt. 9
#wrestler cartman#south park#eric cartman#please like this#i have a problem#eric cartman x reader#cartman x reader#south park x reader
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Why so serious?
Pairing: Patrick Bateman x fem!Reader
Summary: After finding out that you have made friends with a man he doesn’t know, Patrick becomes furious and punishes you for your bratty behavior.
WARNINGS: Toxic relationship, mentions of blood, homicide and torture. Smutty one-shot, pet-names. If you’re a minor or if you don’t feel comfortable, please don’t interact!
A/N: I’m so happy y’all liked my last one-shot! I think i’ll work on one-shots for now, but don’t worry, I will continue the story of course! (PS: I’ll do a part two of course!)
Song I used for inspo: Keygen.exe — Siouxxie
Word count: 1.6k
“Patrick? I’m back!” You smiled while making your boyfriend notice your precious presence. After giving you a quick look, he didn’t say anything and just returned smoking his expensive cigar. You started shaking, taking two steps back, wondering if you had done something wrong. “How was it?” Passing a hand through your long, fantastic hair, You still didn’t understand the hell happened in his mind. “You better answer.” Patrick stood up and lifted up your chin, his eyes full of rage. “P-Patrick.. I don’t understand!” You responded in a acute voice, Bateman laughed maniacally at your reply and laid his hands on your blushed cheeks, staring like a psychopath at your dilated pupils.
“You know my dear Y/n, I decided to finish earlier today, because i wanted to spend more time with you, but then i saw you at that fucking cafe. Our favorite place. You remember? I saw how pleased your face was with him. Your colleague right? I noticed the way he was glancing at you, like he could just devour you in a second.” The words were stuck in the throat, it was like a knot had formed and that knot wouldn’t let you formulate a phrase that made you look confident. He paused, catching a breath before continuing. “He didn’t even have taste, only a fucking loser can wear that suit. Nobody wears that fucking Tom Ford suit anymore!” Patrick grunted, grabbing your hair, pulling you closer to him.
“But He’s just a friend! He didn’t do anything wrong.” He let out a soft chuckle that worried you for a second. You smiled trying to reassure him, bur unfortunately, it didn’t work. “Oh Doll, there’s no need to worry anymore. He’s not a problem now. Just us.” Bateman started caressing your cheeks but your expression was even more worried than before. “W-what do you mean?”
“Well..” He started, sitting on the couch. “Didn’t expect this question but, I have to admit, his business card wasn’t bad at all.” Your fiancée affirmed, while laughing like he was insane, and he really was. He noticed the confused look you were giving him, so he tried to explain himself. “After you two got out the cafe, I started following him, and then, when i had the occasion, i pressed a tissue with chloroform on his mouth and nose. And guess what? He lost consciousness! Then, I brought him here, on this expensive white couch, i tied his wrists, i stuck a piece of duct tape on his mouth and waited him to wake up. When he did, i grabbed the knife that was on the counter and laughed at that hilarious sight. He tried to scream but I didn’t let him, since when i removed the duct tape from his mouth i immediately cut his tongue. Since i was so fucking bored of his constant attempts to free himself i sliced his fingers too, even his blood sucked too, you should have seen the mess he made on the floor.” You couldn’t listen anymore, so you grabbed his hands and sighed. “Okay, I think you should relax a bit.. You’re talking crazy..” His gaze met yours and he gritted his teeth at your affirmation and pulled you closer to him, uniting your bodies. “You think I’m joking? You stupid bitch.” Patrick barked, spanking your delicate ass. You jumped at the feeling of his big hands hitting your fragile figure. “Oh, Pumpkin.. Don’t tell me you’re scared. That was only the start!” He said in a aggressive tone and laid his hands on your cheeks, which now were red and were burning because of his touch. “Ya know, after slicing his fingers, I decided to cut his throat so he could choke on his own blood! Then, I took an axe and started hitting him right in the face! Fun, isn’t it?” You couldn’t pronunce even a word. Your body wasn’t connected to your brain anymore. You tried to focus on the situation and run away, you just wanted to disappear, to dissolve in his arms and never going to see him again. That was too much to handle and that little mind of yours couldn’t believe what Patrick just said. You tried to push him, but his muscular body had remained in the same position it was in moments before, and you were too weak to defeat him anyway. After a few more attempts trying to push him, you realized that it was stupid, ‘cause you knew he would have found a way to get you back, and you decided to soffocate your pain by crying on his shoulder, trying to make him understand how bad you felt, how you wanted to leave.
“Pumpkin, cut the act already. You know I’m not gonna let you go or something..You belong to me.” He whispered in a low voice, causing your legs to shake. You tried to look up at him, even for a second, and he smirked. “I can’t believe this..” You weren’t crying anymore, your face no longer had an expression. “Why so serious?” Bateman started caressing your cheeks, trying to calm you a bit. You looked at him in disgust, how could he say something like that? He literally killed someone, why was he so nonchalant? “I don’t wanna see you again.” You made your way to the door but he followed you and pinned you against the wall. “Is that so?”
You nodded, glancing at him. Patrick placed his hands on your hips and his body got closer to yours. “Do you really want to go, Y/n?” You blushed and interrupted the eye-contact while trying to removing his hands of your delicate skin. “Patrick.. Leave me alone..” You gasped at the feeling of his lips attacking your sensitive neck. He didn’t listen to your needy voice and left a trail of wet kisses on your collarbone and then, he finally decided to give attention where your dirty mind needed him the most: your beautiful breasts. Bateman started caressing your chest and unclasped the bra, one of his favorites, a Victoria’s secret one, it was black and pink. He chuckled at the satisfying sight and brought his skillful mouth on your hard nipples while his hand was squeezing the other tit. “Mh-hm!” You kept gasping feeling needy while his tongue was driving you crazy. You slipped your hand through his messy hair looking for support, and most importantly, something that would help you take everything he was giving you. “I bet you’re soaking wet right now. Aren’t you, my dear Y/n?”
You shook your head, trying to look as confident as possible. Patrick lifted up your chin with his two, long fingers and smirked as usual. “You sure?” You didn’t answer and just looked at him, you were intrigued by his dark eyes. After biting your lower lip, you started staring at the floor, as if suddenly there was something that caught your attention. Bateman giggled satisfied and his big hand moved to your inner tight. “I can’t believe you got this wet by watching me sucking on your nipples.” Your daddy moved your dripping panties to the side and started drawing imaginary circular lines on your sensitive clit. “Tell me Y/n.. What you want me to do?” — Damn, this man was driving you crazy with his teasing. You closed your eyes, trying to suppress a moan, even though you knew it was impossible since you were so delicate down there. He rubbed your tip faster, while your legs were shaking, you couldn’t hold it any longer. “P-Patrick.. I’m gonna.. A-ah! G-gonna..” You stopped as you felt an hard slap on your ass, which probably turned red. “Uh-uh! Not yet. This is a punishment, fuck. You get it?” He murmured in a low voice, making your whole body shiver. “Now tell me. What ya want me to do, slut.” You were too embarrassed to say what your fragile figure really wanted, in fact, you just tried to hide your face in your hands, avoiding the order.
“Aw. Is my delicate angel embarrassed? But You weren’t so scared after all when your showed me that bratty attitude of yours.” Bateman’s words made you tremble, Patrick stopped overstimulating you and slapped your ass again. “I.. I want you to destroy me, Sir.” He didn’t expect that reply, and that excited him more. He smirked and started caressing your cheeks. “Well, well, well. And tell me.. How am I supposed to do that?” You were shaking your head erratically, feeling the need to move your hands to his face and just kiss him, again and again. “Patrick.. Stop..” The little whisper that escaped from your pretty pink lips made the erection in his pants grew more. “Stop what, huh? C’mon princess, beg for my cock, like the good fucking whore you are.”
“I-uh,” You were too embarrassed to say such a things, but he laid his head on your shoulder, encouraging you. “I want you to.. to destroy my p-pussy with your dick.. and I want you to fill me with your seed..” A clever smirk was formed again in his face, and then, Patrick just disappeared in his minimalistic bedroom.
“Patrick! Please I’ll be good, I promise!” But your voice wasn’t enough for him, Bateman just wanted to let you know that you belonged to him, and he was sure he would make you understand that. You sat on the couch, waiting for him to come back, but that request wasn’t satisfied and your legs started to tremble again.
“Why don’t we have dinner at Dorsia, Princess?”
#american psycho#patrick bateman x reader#patrick bateman smut#patrick bateman#christian bale smut#christian bale#christian bale x reader
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It’s weird to me how people assume I must have abandoned my comic because I haven’t updated it in nearly 3 months when:
A) I have already set a precedent that I update irregularly and at minimum bi-monthly, as evidenced by the dates between each episode posted. Hell, the largest gap between updates was between the prologue and chapter 1; July 2020 and January 2021 lol
B) I pretty much work on my comic whenever I have any free time. I was even working on it during my work’s Christmas party when I felt I could get away with it. Which, thinking about it now, is kind of fucked up lmao. Imagine being at a social event and whenever someone isn’t talking to you or you’re not engaged in an activity you think “oh, I should work on my comic. I’m behind. It’s already mid-December”.
C) I post progress updates for patrons on my Patreon so, if y’all really want to know how it’s going, you could throw a dollar my way and see. Not trying to shill, just stating a fact.
It’s also weird to know that you’re falling behind but simultaneously recognize that you’re doing everything you can to catch up and you’re feeling like you’re the only one who really sees that. I’m also trying to be “present” with people and connect with them but I find myself sacrificing that a lot in order to create art. I’m trying to do both but I can only really do one or the other. Either way, someone will inevitably be disappointed in me and that really sucks.
I know that I don’t owe anyone anything, I do believe that, but I can’t not feel bad about it. In the pursuit of creating something I always find myself sacrificing opportunities for friendship, or re-connecting, or maintaining relationships. I can’t do everything, I have to pick one thing, and if I don’t see my project through then all of that sacrifice will be for nothing.
This was supposed to be a tongue-and-cheek post but it kind of went off the rails as I was typing. I think I’ve been internalizing a lot of things that are hard for those who haven’t experienced this kind of thing to understand. It’s so easy for someone to say “you don’t owe anyone anything, it’s okay to take breaks, you’re doing your best, etc”, I’ve said those same things to other artists/creators and they’re indeed true. But it doesn’t quell that weird feeling. It doesn’t stop that guilty conscience. I can never feel satisfied with how I choose to spend my free time because it always feels like the wrong choice in the moment.
Anyway, don’t feel bad for wondering why it’s taking so long, don’t feel bad for me, there are worse things to feel bad about. The majority of you are very patient, supportive and understanding and I’m very grateful for that. I just need to try to be more patient with myself and not let this stuff get to me.
#textpost#text post#im doing my best but i dont feel like it's really my best you know?#might be an adhd thing idk#very much is an artist thing tho#been a while since i vented here lol#i promise im okay#i think writing it all out helped a lot but im not gonna make it a habit lol
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I’m enraged about girlbosses again today (just like every day) and I just. If you truly do like that dynamic, a woman who is adored by a man and she basically mocks him for it and even her bad traits are actually awesome, then cool! I hope you find all the girlboss/malewife dynamics that your heart desires.
But I despise that otherwise good fictional hetero relationships get painted with this same reductive brush. That the woman is admirable no matter what, and that even the man’s love for her makes him ridiculous. That he’s lucky to be with her, and she’s the only thing making him worthwhile. I saw this about Sheila and Joel Hammond the other day and nearly blew a gasket.
y’all this is the opposite of feminism. This is like taking feminism out back and running it over with the car. There’s no good interpretation of it. Either:
a) she actually IS perfect, because god knows women can’t be flawed in the same ugly messy ways that men are and be good characters so in truth everything she does is in fact Right;
b) he really IS garbage but she keeps him around for ... why? What?; or
c) he truly is in love with her and wants her, and she finds this utterly laughable (but don’t stop with the compliments!) because we all know that women are insecure sucking voids who need to be desired but are so self-loathing that any man who loves them must be dumb as shit, awww, poor ickle sexy babygirl
I just do not understand what the appeal is in taking pairings like Leia/Han and acting as if Han should kiss the ground Leia walks on while she routinely devalues him. Why are you allergic to partners in a partnership? Why does celebrating the woman mean denigrating the man? What kind of weak-ass mean-spirited women are you people wanting to see in media?? EXPLAIN IT TO ME PLEASE
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lols here we go again @2manytabsopen
rant no.1
um so has everyone just forgotten that matty beniers was talking to a minor… like a person who is under the age of 18 kind of minor because i’m pretty sure that shit happened and i’m not quite sure why we are still making fics about this boy. or even talking about him but whatever you do you i guess 💀 another thing hockeyblr has somehow forgot is thomas bordeleau being besties with a rapist like excuse me. also not to mention using a euphemism of the n-word which is so very inappropriate. honestly i’m so sick and tired of people defending both of these boys' actions. stop saying they’re too young to know better like just no. there are literal 10 year olds out there that know these actions are inappropriate and completely unacceptable. so don’t anyone give me that “they’re too young to know better speech” because i will not hear it. they do and should know better than to do these things because they are grown ass people. they are both 20 years old and that is definitely old enough to understand that talking to a minor in a sexual way, associating yourself with a rapist and saying a racial slur is not okay. to be honest people that are still making fics about just whatever i don’t associate myself with the people who do and i block the tags and shit. it just annoys me that people don’t give a fuck and choose to ignore the issues at hand.
rant no.2
again with the talking shot about WAGS !!! like excuse me ma'am i know you did not just insult a woman for being friends, dating or marrying a hockey player. who the fuck do you think you are. like i know you have singular m&m rolling around in your brain but maybe just maybe put the god damn m&m to good use and THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. what the actual hell happened to “girls supporting girls” does that suddenly not apply when your favourite hockey gets into a relationship ?! you’re jealous so what suck it up ur fav hockey was bound to get into a relationship at some point and honestly if ur THAT jealous you just had to bully the gf how come you didn’t slide into the dm’s while he was single and try to bag him… like girl come on. even if you did and it failed that doesn’t give you the okay to bully the S/O. the whole thing is so fucked up i have so much more to say but i don’t know how to type it out so yeah
rant no.3
tying in with rant no.2 the whole girls being friends with hockey players and people bullying the girls, trying to find out information and literally stalking them is just weird. specifically with the umich hockey team. like since when was it bad to have guy friends or girl friends… some of y’all are bullying these girls that are in COLLEGE fucking college !!!! leave them the fuck alone they haven’t done anything to hurt you all they’re doing is having a good fun time making friends in college is that so wrong to do. and so what if some are in a relationship that’s none of your business to find out if they are. talk about invasion of privacy. some people on this app are really finding these girls tiktoks, instagrams and VSCO’s and posting them on here like just stop. for the millionth time they are in college just normal fucking people and you are invading their privacy and making them probably very uncomfortable. they just want a normal college experience but you are ruining it for them by making unnecessary comments. ESPECIALLY on tiktok just get out of the poor girls comments and stop making her feel uncomfortable. some of the people on umichblr are the reason these girls delete videos, private their account and take vsco’s out of the bio. it’s because you guys are making them uncomfortable and all of y’all are saying stupid shit like “oh idk why they deleted the video” like what ?? you posted that video on this app maybe posted a link so now all these jealous ass people can go into the comment and bully the girl like enough is enough. i’m sick and tired of it.
um anyways these are my rants for now i hope these made sense i tend to not make sense when i’m mad but ya 🤩
#lj rants#i have so much more to say on all 3 of these but the words in my head don't make sense on the page ya know
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you feel so understanding. im sorry for all you're going through and i pray for you often. i just want advice from someone like-minded
my partner sucks. but they've suicide baited so much. they're so depending. should i feel bad? i feel awful. but i want out, so much.
Thank you.🤍
Suicide baited as in they encouraged you to commit suicide? Or as in they threaten or suggest that they’d commit suicide if you break up? Either way, I have experienced both more than once ahaaaa
If someone is encouraging suicidal behavior, then it’s wise to let someone else know about what’s happening and ask literally anyone more stable and safe to assist you in leaving the situation, ultimately getting your partner out of your life fully or as much as possible. Don’t break up without someone else around or without being in public if you feel anxious about it at all. Because they clearly don’t have any respect for your life and safety.
If it’s a manipulation tactic to avoid a break up, dump them. No matter what I say or how much time you read into it and psycho-analyze their behavior and language to try to figure out if they’ll actually do it, there’s no way for us to 100% know if they will or won’t. We could only guess.
My advice is accepting the smaller chance that they could succeed in killing themself(remember that a lot of people half-ass it, call 911 for themselves from changing their minds, and fail either purposely to manipulate others or by accident), accepting that it wouldn’t be your fault if they tried or succeeded, and break up with them since you’re not happy in the relationship, and it doesn’t sound healthy or helpful to either of y’all in the long run. I’m being serious. I’m just sleepy and not the best with words.
I don’t see a real reason to feel bad, but I could understand why someone highly sensitive would be affected and blame themselves wrongfully. It would be wrongfully placed blame, still.
Even if they did kill themselves, it wouldn’t be your fault. I’m assuming you’ve brought up them getting help or some form of encouragement about change if you’re in a relationship or that your partner could find help if necessary and chosen. If there’s any family of theirs you know, you could let them know about the threat but word it more innocuously and vaguely like saying that your partner had been seeming bad with health and made some concerning comments so there’s a warning to others to act as a net in your place just in case.
But you answered your own questions, tbh. Trust in and choose yourself and your future. Dump them and stay safe. Good luck with whatever decisions you make, and I hope you’ll keep ultimately choosing what you want while keeping other’s feelings in consideration until you find happiness and people who align better with what you want.
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Apprenticember Day 3 - Relationship with other LI’s
I put them all in one post for simplicity lol
*disclaimer - the way *I* do my canon is that tilly is Thee apprentice and everyone else is also involved ?? somehow??? I can’t explain it all in one post
Isabella
Has a healthy respect for and and can hold pleasant conversation with asra, especially since he and nadia are close. However she probably wouldn’t consider them to have a close relationship
She finds Julian a bit strange but entertaining. Again, she’s perfectly comfortable around most people who are close with Nadia, though it’s not likely that they’ve spent much time alone together.
Considers Portia a very reliable and close friend. Working together in the palace along with Isabella asking her for advice with Nadia early on has made them close. It’s not uncommon to see the two in the kitchen gossiping or eating some baked goods at Portia’s cottage.
She enjoys Muriel’s company for sure, any time she’s with someone who’s quiet/not very talkative she honestly will feel relieved and is happy to just sit and crochet in silence and then complain about something once and then go back to being silent again, but at the same time I would imagine they wouldn’t interact much.
Lucio…. Listen she’s a Nadia oc so she does NOT like that man let’s be fr. But unless he comes up in conversation, he’s truly insignificant in her life. If they were to interact she would just glare at him a lot and probably tell him his style sucks.
Ki
Listen he’s in a relationship with Asra but he won’t lie Julian is kind of good looking 👀 But they can hold good conversation for the most part! Ki admires his extroversion and medical expertise and enjoys listening to his travel stories/adventures.
Ki thinks Nadia is cool as fuck and probably wants to get to know her better. He also knows what it’s like to grow up with a big aristocratic family with lots of siblings, so they will chat about that pretty often. They could also play music together since Ki is a guitarist!
Ki probably wouldn’t have too many opportunities to interact with Portia, but he’s perfectly comfortable talking to her and finds her very fun to be around!
Ki enjoys Muriel’s company a lot - When the two bad bitches with social anxiety link up >>>>>>
Also they’re probably mildly frightened of Lucio just because he’s very A Lot and a big personality like that might just stun them into silence. As for his Crimes and whatnot, Ki has a tendency to give grace to people who maybe don’t deserve it (for better or for worse) so who knows!
Tilly
Deeply admires and respects Nadia - and enjoys chatting with her about books the two of them have been reading, or magic. Tilly would also really enjoy teaching some magic things to Nadia if she would be interested.
Asra brought her back to life and took care of her so naturally she’s very grateful and considers him a close friend - However doesn’t reciprocate any romantic feelings he had for her in the past which both of them are fine with in the end. Tilly still spends a lot of time at the shop despite ending up with Muriel. They have a healthy relationship and can talk about anything.
Tilly likes Julian well enough, but Muriel’s anxiety around him does tend to rub off on her a bit🥲 its all love tho
Lucio… as a Muriel main she would probably sell him for one corn chip with no remorse. sorry y’all
Bonus! Danielle
Hears a LOT about Nadia from Isabella and likes what she hears and often gives Isabella love advice of…varying quality. Once she meets her, she does understand why Isabella was so anxious. Danielle is not often made nervous by others but a towering gorgeous countess lady made her turn bright red.
I’m gonna be so real…. Julian and danielle can NEVER meet. Chaos will ensue. Someone is gonna end up crying or really horny or both. The guards will be called. Someone is in jail. etc etc. Or maybe they need to meet for all of those reasons? Lol
Danielle would love to hang out with and smoke with Asra - as a magic shop keeper herself, she familiarizes herself with other people in Vesuvia doing similar work, so I would imagine them to be on good terms.
Danielle is rockin with portia i used to pair them together but now I’m like they would probably just be better friends? Similar relationship to Isabella and Portia
Lucio …. listen If you scroll back on my blog this was her LI for a long ass time and her taste is questionable so she probably would bang… Long term relationship tho? meh. But I’d be lying if I said they wouldn’t get along.
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Okay so I picked up Gossip Girl because I was bored and packing. I figured why not log my opinions (because I’m still kind of bored)
- Serena coming back and expecting everything to be the same is kinda like…idk fair but also not fair? I can’t remember how long she was gone for but Yknow
- Serena’s relationship with her brother (Eric!!) is the best. It’s so sad their mom is hiding him because of his attempt. That’s fucked.
- Blair gives me the cattiest, rudest, most annoying bitchy vibes ever. She is the problem I swear.
- Nate and his buddy (Chuck) that I don’t know the name of are side characters. They look like side characters, they feel like side characters.
- I’m going to forget a lot of names…
- Jen is cute. I like Jen. She feels real. I kinda sorta really want her and Serena to be friends.
- JENNY AND SERENA ARE SO CUTE UGH
- okay if Serena would just tell Blair what happened and opened up I think she’d be a lot more understanding of her situation. Like Eric almost died that’s a really valid thing to disappear over. But Blair doesn’t know that because of Mom and she’s the original problem.
- OMG OMG THEYRE FRIENDS??? STAY FRIENDS PLEASE??? THIS IS GOOD. TRUST IS GOOD.
- sigh. I hate plot sex.
- Why the fuck does it matter what Nate and Serena did if Serena isn’t into him anymore?? Blair drop this whore ass man he’s not helping either of you. Mf is a worse drama whore than everyone involved.
- I’m going to kill Chuck.
- Dan is kind of swag. And I love that Serena doesn’t ignore him I know that’s an intentional trope but still. She’s not a bad person clearly
- I do not feel bad for Nate and I will not feel bad for Nate. He’s a pussy. He folds to his parents and manipulates girls because he’s too much of a coward to stand up for himself. His whole problem that he won’t face is hurting people.
- BLAIR DO NOT DO THAT CATTY BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOURE JEALOUS I SWEAR. Ugh she’s just a stereotype and I hate the stereotype. But I’m going to choke down this show anyways because I’ve got nothing better to do.
- Dad (Rufus) is actually kind of cool. I’m enjoying him handing Mom’s ass to her. It’s funny.
- Damn all the moms in this show suck.
- this stupid song about how hard it is for these privileged ass kids annoys me and it will very quickly become a political rant. Y’all have SO MUCH and here you are whining about “oh the limo is full of too much dramaaa” meanwhile y’all would probably run over a homeless persons tent on the way to the party. This rant is going to be frequent and constant. Like yeah it sucks to have no agency in your lives but it’s not the worst problem in the world and this show makes it so melodramatic. I’m sure society recognizes this (or I at least hope it does) but that’s my biggest ick. Oh and Chuck.
- IM GOING TO KILL CHUCK fucking gross ass whore ass bitch WHY ARE WE NORMALIZING THIS GROSS BASTARD please Serena get her away from him
- Oh thank god Jen is smart and recognizes how creepy this is. Chuck don’t pretend to be the cool guy who actually asks DAMMIT DONT
- this show is going to give me an aneurysm
- OH THANK GOD JEN IS SMART
- YES GIRLS PROTECTING GIRLS AND SUPPORTIVE BROTHERS THANK GOODNESSSSS
- while I think it’s stupid to focus on Serena’s social life I appreciate her immediately going to worry about Jen because of Chuck’s behavior. That shows true kindness
- there is so much SA in this show so guys be safe, buddy system, keep your phones on and tracked, be aware of your drinks, etc etc. it’s concerning
- YEAHHHH DAN GIVE IT TO THAT GROSS ASS BITCH
- Once again loving how Serena cares more about Jen and keeping her safe than her own social life and all that petty stuff. It’s honestly kind of refreshing
- oh god Nate kiss my ASS. You too Blair you petty bitch you are the problem.
That’s the first episode. We’ll see if I can tolerate this show for very long
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Do people think that when I say how I truly feel I’m crazy. I sugar coat a lot. I sweeten up a lot but once I start saying how I feel people think I’m crazy. I want to be weird and eccentric. I’m tried of people labeling me. Tbh I don’t feel good enough. Tbh I don’t want love. I don’t want hate. I just want to create. That’s it. I want to create my castle. One that is strong enough withstand and protect me and my peace. Yet also entaintaining with the ability for people to leave when it’s time to go. I think that the past 5 years have really made me appreciate the important of rebuild my castle. The are people in the world who look for reconciliation and praise and people who just want to live life to enjoy it. I don’t feel like I’m missing opportunities. I feel like opportunities that were presented to me were given to me because I didn’t understand the value of them because I didn’t have a clear guiding voice. There’s not a lot of people that pick up the phone and call me. I understand that I get lost sometimes and distracted. I do. I get really distracted. But I appreciate people that understand me the best. The people that understand me the best are those that pick up the phone and call me. Those that spend time with me. I have a lot of issues and I’m a difficult person. And I’m hard to dissect but sometimes you have to show me the path. I don’t trust words I trust actions. A lot of people fill my head up with lies constantly. And fake this and fake that but damn we were given 5 senses. People only chose the one that is audio. I appreciate the tangible. I believe in God almighty I wouldn’t be here with the Lord almighty. People don’t realize how hard it is to constantly see your castle destroyed every time you build something. I know that there are people suffering a lot worst then me but I believe in God and in my emotions they are real to me. It’s difficult to see your fruits of labor go to waste and rott right as you get to feast. I just ready to have a life that is consistent and structured. I enjoyed everything that everyone of my friends brought to my life down to cups. But I know that I deserve me. When I envision my life I want a life that genuinely gives me opportunities. I don’t understand how I can be presented so much opportunities but still be no where. There are very few men I like. Men fucking suck. There have only been 3 men in my life that I can say push me toward achieving better for myself. And the world has constantly like a stream down a river destroyed those relationship. I honestly don’t want anymore friends. I exhausted with human behavior. What am I missing what did I miss. Did I miss the rapture. I did so what is next for me. I dont fucking know. Im trying to figure it out… why was I not worry of it was it because I’m a Christian was it because I’m bad son. Well I’m not a bad son. I’m also not a Christian. I’m a child of God. That is less devisive. I follow the universal rules of life. Karma you can’t escape it. People try so hard to figure people out there is no figuring out there is only… the moment now. I think some of y’all really tried to kill me and my character. I think also of y’all suck at being mentors or good people. It’s not hard to push people in the right direction. First and foremost as well in the time and manager that is appropriate. I’m uncursing myself in 2023. As well as my mother in brother. We don’t deserve whatever sick voodoo magic tricks pawns discuss. That comes with carrying this name. A major part of me do want to change my name because I keep messing up. But like a good gardener you check up on the seeds you sow. Some of y’all didn’t even know where I was planted or growing.
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Feeling a little tender at the moment, what would happen after the first time Boba made you accidentally cry?
A/N: ..... ooo anon.... OOO ANON..... you come into this house and say this to me? buckle up.
my first boba request!! and LORD do i love that bounty hunter! 😍🥰💕💕 though, for as much as i adore him, it was surprisingly difficult to write him?? like i wrote and rewrote a bunch, but i just couldn’t settle on how i wanted him to act/speak in a full story. 💀 hope you don’t mind this is also in headcanon format. 🙏😭
that’s kinda sorta why it took me a bit longer to get this out for y’all. 💀
thank you, and i hope you enjoy! 💗💗
Boba’s a Big Meanie™ and makes you cry (and how he rectifies this atrocity) headcanons
Let’s be honest, in general, Boba is not a “nice” guy. That doesn’t necessarily make him a bad man, but it does mean he has the tendency to be pretty tone deaf to the feelings of others. Combined with him having a mean streak, and his propensity to sometimes laugh at the expense of others (though it does depend on who it is), Boba can play the role of “bully” a bit too well.
Boba also has a pretty intimidating temper, all too enhanced by his physically commandeering demeanor. He doesn’t get actively/visibly angry often, like genuinely furious, however if the right buttons are pressed, and the right strings pulled, he will snap. And an angry Boba is a scary, dangerous Boba.
If we’re talking about the very first time he ever makes you cry, it definitely happens pre-relationship, when the two of you are not fully acquainted with one another. It’s during that period of time when the two of you are still “getting to know” each other, learning each other’s personalities, behaviors, and whatnot. At the time, you and Boba had a basic understanding of each other, but mostly he stayed out of your way and you stayed out of his.
Most likely, he makes you cry during an argument. Taking into account all of the factors above, you and Boba probably butt heads on some sort of issue, like safety or security or over the occasional ethical/moral dilemma, and when it doesn’t look like you’re giving up the fight anytime soon, Boba gets more irritated by the second. You’re the only person brave enough to stick it to him, to full out tell him he’s wrong, or an idiot (or both), and that really ticks him off. Boba doesn’t like to lose arguments as much as he doesn’t like to lose fights. He expects you to keel over and, however begrudgingly, suck it up all while he demands respect he thinks he’s entitled to. But you don’t let up, not this time.
So Boba kinda sorta really blows up on you. At some point in arguing, something you say probably flips the switch and Boba just says “Fuck this” and lets loose. The switch from his semi-calm demeanor to one that is absolutely terrifying is honestly kinda impressive, but very scary all the same. Boba gets full in your face, all looming and big, and just rips into you. He’s speaking in that sort of half-yell, half-growl, strained tone that really does shake you due to it’s intensity and the deadly ferocity that’s laced in it. Boba also grips your arms in an almost painful vice grip, all but forcing you to look directly at him, controlling you.
Honestly, Boba just gets plain nasty to you. He absolutely loses most of his decorum and starts cussing you out, saying really rude, insensitive things to you. He says some pretty terrible shit, intermingling petty schoolyard insults with genuine threats, like threatening your life either indirectly or directly. And Boba seeks to cut deep, where it hurts, so he does use some of your darkest, most delicate secrets against you. And for as much as Boba’s bite hurts, his bark can be a whole lot worse.
Though it’s honestly less about what he actually says to you that makes you cry. Sure, a particular line probably is the catalyst, but it’s more so the chaotic, emotional, angry hurricane that Boba puts you through that finally does it. When you start crying, depending on the type of person you are, Boba either uses that against you and mocks you, or he lets up slightly, somewhat shocked to be seeing you cry. In the end though, your tears do eventually make his anger cool to a simmer and even though he’s still pissed, Boba lets you go, physically that is.
He sets a distance between you and him, either watching you sob in front of him or watching you run off to get away from him, all depends on you. Boba doesn’t pursue you either way, preferring to act coldly indifferent before turning on his heel and walking away. He tells himself that he doesn’t feel guilty, but he does. He feels bad and is pissed that he does.
So for a while, you don’t see him. Boba keeps a pretty wide berth from you and occupies his time either working on something or off ship hunting a bounty. The cool down period is pretty long, because Boba is stubborn and guilty, and it makes the whole dynamic between the two of you surprisingly heavy and awkward.
How it’s all resolved kinda depends. Like if you’re more stubborn than he is, and Boba approaches you, he offers you a bit of a non-apology. Like you can tell he’s sorry, but he doesn’t really say the words. It’s the best you’ll get from him if you wait it out, but there is a level of sincerity that you feel. However, if you’re the first to break the silence between you and Boba, to approach and apologize for something that you had said, he apologizes more directly. He’ll actually say sorry for making you cry, and might tell you he doesn’t enjoy seeing you in tears. Either way, his apology is clipped, awkward, and more than a bit gruff because Boba’s not much of a tender person, but he truly does mean it. Boba may not be nice, but he is honest.
In fact, a little while later and kinda out of the blue, Boba may gift you something to solidify the apology. Be it a new blaster, or your favorite perfume or cosmetic, or something you wanted that you off-handedly mentioned once, he gets it for you. Boba doesn’t give it to you directly, only leaves it in a place that you frequent, where he knows you’ll find it. He hopes it mends whatever hurt may be left over from the argument, hopes that you forgive him. Boba doesn’t expect you to thank him for the gift, in fact he kinda wants it to be a sneaky one and done type thing, but if you do, he won’t mind, he’ll just silently reply with a nod of his head.
Fortunately, the apology (however explicit or implicit) and the gift do their job, and the transgression is forgiven and healed, considering you don’t leave him for another. Boba is privately thankful for this, and for you.
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Hi 😁 Could I request either (31.} “Good morning gorgeous,” “Fuck off I’m trying to sleep.” 8.} “Why do you have to be so cute?” “Why do you have to be so hot?” 27.} “I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.”) Or ( 21.} “If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.” & 1.} “I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.”) with Dick Grayson?
Type: Two-Shot
Pairing: Fem! and Librarian! Reader x Dick Grayson/Nightwing
Part One: Here
Prompts: ☙1: “I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.” ☙8: “Why do you have to be so cute?” “Why do you have to be so hot?”☙21:“If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.” ☙27: “I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.” ☙31:“Good morning gorgeous,” “Fuck off I’m trying to sleep.”
Content: Cursing, mentions of abuse, implied sickness, a minor curses, depressive thoughts (the negative Nancy’s may suck y’all but they bring in the fluffiest fluff), flashbacks, little bit of angst, FLUFFY so freaking fluffy, heavily reader x Nightwing, good luck 😂
Word Count ([Mama Mia] Here we go again!): 10,108 words
(P.S. I saw these prompts and thought hmm what could I do and the idea for a part two popped in my head. Hope you guys enjoy it!)
(P.P.S So I’ve recently decided that I’m gonna do OC stuff so like two of my OC’s with stories are going to make an appearance. Let me know what you guys think of them. 😉)
(P.P.P.S I’m putting an author’s note at the end so if ya wanna read it it’ll be there. And don’t worry I won’t count the author’s note in the words count.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The unexpected tends to hit you when you don’t expect it, obviously, however sometimes the unexpected hits you literally at the worst times. Things from your past can come back to punch you in the gut, things you had forgotten about can return and bring a host of memories with them, good or bad.
The unexpected can cause revelations to come to you, for you to realize things you should have thought of, things you should have seen before. It can cause you to realize certain feelings and certain people are more important than you ever thought.
The unexpected can be kind, but it can also be ruthless. It can give you new relationships but it can also cause you to remember things better left forgotten. Things like past relationships and mistakes you wish you never made.
The unexpected is... well unexpected.
It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours since Dick Grayson asked you out when literally everything went to shit.
It had all started when you began to receive texts from old friends telling you to lay low. They were very vague and it made your stomach shift due to nervousness. There was a number of reasons why they could have texted you, they could have been joking, they could have been referring to anything really.
The longer you thought about it the worse your stomach swirled. So when you got a call telling you to come to a meeting with a detective right after your shift at the police station you felt like you were going to puke. The more time that passed the worse you felt however right before you left you ran into Mira.
“Hi, Y/N.” She said with a bright smile, “Are you excited for your date later today?”
She wiggled her eyebrows at you and you gave her a nervous smile. She hadn’t meant to, but you were even more nervous now then before. Nodding you let out a sigh trying your hardest to push the nerves swirling in your stomach back.
“Yeah, yeah I am...” You paused for a moment noting how her hair was much shorter than before.
She noticed your look of surprise and grinned in almost a wicked kind of way, her hazel eyes glittering.
“I got my hair cut and now I feel like a woodland pixie!”
You laughed and Mira raised a hand to the end of her hair fiddling with it before shifting slightly as if something was bothering her. And it was then that it occurred to you, you hadn’t asked her how things with Jason were going.
“So,” You began, feeling a mischievous smile working its way onto your face, “how are things going with Jason?”
Mira’s let go of her hair and shrugged a look of almost disinterest on her face. She leaned against the wall before looking over her shoulder and sighing.
“Well for one, after hanging out with him I’m like ninety percent sure we’re just better as friends.”
You nodded in understanding, it was common for that to happen and it pained you to see how many times people had told you or Mira to just go for the relationship just because it would give you experience.
“I get that-” Before you could finish however she continued.
“And there’s this girl...”
Girl, there’s a girl? You couldn’t believe it! Not because Mira didn’t seem like the type but because she didn’t really get out enough to meet people.
“Ooo really? Where did you meet?”
A blush appeared on Mira’s face and she straightened out before the blush darkened and she averted your gaze.
“She’s new to my apartment complex.”
You smiled widely trying not to giggle in excitement. Mira had been rambling to you for months about wanting a relationship even if it was just a fling, she wanted love and was angry at the gods she believed in for not sending any her way.
“Ooo, very cool. I hope things work out better than with Jason.”
Mira’s blush dimmed slightly and she got a frustrated look on her face before she pushed away from the wall and the two of you began to walk again. Tucking her much shorter hair behind her ear she bit her lip before giving you a look.
“I think that it wouldn’t have matter if we were just better as friends or if Rosemary was in the picture-”
You couldn’t help yourself, “Rosemary? Is that her name?”
Mira’s blush returned to her face making it red as she waved a hand at you almost as if to stop you from asking questions about her possible crush. You moved out of the way of her hands and you realized you hadn’t been thinking about your nerves. And the second you thought of them they came crashing back down on you.
“I’ll tell you everything later I promise!” Mira remarks with a sigh, “Anyways, I’m pretty sure Jason has a thing for someone else.”
You froze for a moment blinking a few times in surprise, looking at Mira you raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Really? I could have sworn he liked you.”
She shrugs before crossing her arms, tilting her head she gives you a look before smiling slightly.
“I’m a psychology major at Gotham U Y/N. I noticed somethings and I don’t know I’m pretty sure he likes someone else... and in case you were worried it isn’t you.”
You blinked a few times processing her words, Jason like you? Have a thing for you? Of course that couldn’t be true. Why would Mira think that you might think Jason might like you? He was like your brother!
Mira laughed and you realized all your emotions were crossing your face in that moment. Blinking again you furrowed your brow in confusion. Shaking your head you couldn’t quite grasp the idea of Jason liking someone else.
“I just thought he liked you.”
“He likes the parts of me that remind him of this other girl. I mean like... we sorta talked about it, so it’s more as I know he likes someone else.”
You gave her an exasperated look and Mira laughed nervously before taking a step back. She waved her hands smiling somewhat before saying,
“Listen I don’t know who, and he didn’t outright say it, but he might as well have. He said there’s this one girl he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. Something about them being childhood friends and thinking she was dead.”
Shaking your head you sighed, you hadn’t heard anything about this then again you and Jason both agreed to not talk about your pasts. Even thinking of it now makes you feel sick. Swallowing you pushed away the memories as Mira gave you a concerned look.
“You okay Y/N? You got a little pale just now...”
Mira trailed off and you nodded brushing off her concern. Pulling your phone out of your pocket you noted the time and how you were supposed to be meeting the detective soon. Shoving it back into your pocket you hurried to say goodbye to Mira, you really didn’t want to be late to this meeting.
“I’m fine. I promise, I’ve just got a meeting with some cop soon-”
“Do you think it’s about Daniel?”
You flinched at the sound of his name. Closing your eyes you took in a breath. You could think about him now... well briefly think about him, without feeling scared or panicking. However now that Mira said it, it made a whole lot more sense. All your friends telling you to lay low and the meeting with the detective.
The room seemed to spin a bit and you felt hands on your arms.
“Woah, woah Y/N. It could just be Dick wanting to meet with you about your date, you said he doesn’t have your number right?” Mira remarked, scrambling to get you back to your senses.
You pressed a hand to your head and nodded even though you felt like you were going to puke. Mira began guiding you towards the door with a very concerned look on her face.
“How about I drive you there? I don’t like the idea of you being alone right now.”
You must have nodded because the next thing you knew you were in the passenger seat of Mira’s car as the world seemed to go in slow motion. Things passed by your eyes but for some reason the only thing your brain could focus on was the fact that Daniel was more than likely back.
Your throat felt tight and you tried to breathe but it got harder the longer you tried. Biting your lip, you forced air through your lungs. There was a faint sound in the background almost like a humming as you heard Daniel’s voice yelling at you. Dozens of phrases all at once, insults, accusations, anger in general. You felt your heart beat pick up when suddenly your lip felt warm and a sharp pain went through it.
Blinking back into reality you realized that Mira had been talking to you and that you were pulling up to the station. The car stopped and Mira turned towards you, her eyes going wide automatically.
“Y/n you’re bleeding. Did you bust your lip or something?”
Raising a hand to your face you pressed a finger to your mouth only to pull it away and find red. For a moment you weren’t in the passenger seat of Mira’s car but on the floor of that apartment. With him looming over you. Your breath caught and Mira was shaking you back into reality.
“Y/n? Y/n are you okay?”
You nodded somewhat slowly before opening the door. Looking up you shot Mira a weak smile as worries about all the trouble you were causing her hit you like a train.
“Yeah, sorry I’m fine. Thanks for taking me here... I’ll get a ride back to the library... you should go home.”
“Y/n-” Mira began when you cut her off by climbing out of the car.
“I’ll be okay Mira. I promise.”
Mira sighed and you turned back towards her. She nodded and you closed the door waving goodbye as she drove off. Turning back to the station you let out a sigh and straightened your posture before walking in.
Inside a woman at a desk directed you to a Detective Brooklyn’s desk. Something about that name tickled the back of your mind but you pushed it back and walked towards where she directed before stopping in front of a woman’s desk. She looked to be a year or two younger than you and tired. She had a phone in her hands and you could faintly hear a little girl’s voice on the other end.
“No Flori you cannot give Ace frosting. I don’t care if he really wants it... What do you mean Ria’s climbing on top of the cabinets? Flori I swear if you don’t- ... Tim, if you don’t get Alfred in there soon I’m going to- Hi Steph, yes it is so good to talk to you but can you please.... ugh. Duke hi... oh Alfred is handling everything? That’s fantastic. Could you please tell him thank you for me? Awesome!” Her dark red-brown hair was pulled into a tight bun and she looked up to you, her deep brown eyes lined with exhaustion.
However upon seeing you her eyes flickered for a moment before she held up a finger. Motioning for you to sit down. She nodded her mouth slightly open as if she wanted to say something to the other person on the line.
“Yeah, yeah I know Ria. Frosting tastes really good. I hav- Hello Damian. I would love to come over and play with Titus, Ace, Ria, Flori and you but I’m at work right now- sorry your right I didn’t mean play, I meant I was going to help you guys exercise Titus and Ace... no we are not keeping William Snakespeare Ria, I don’t care that you named him- I have to go okay? I will handle this later. Yes I mean later, I have work to do- Hi. Yeah I’m still at the station. No, I’m meeting with her right now. Yes please. Thank you so much Babs. You are a lifesaver! Bye.”
Placing the phone on the receiver she sighed before looking at you. She smiled slightly almost weakly before she pulled a file off of her desk and opened it.
“Hello Miss L/N. I’m Edelynne Brooklyn. Most people around here and in general call me Eddie.”
You blinked twice as an image of the past hit you hard.
You and your friend Elysa were sitting on the chairs at the station. You didn’t want to be there, your stomach churred at the thought, but Elysa had insisted saying how your relationship with Daniel had gotten too far. That he had taken it too far. You couldn’t fully see out of the black eye, but you knew it was better than not seeing at all and really it was your fault, if you had just made the food he wanted it never would have happened.
“Hi, I’m Officer Brooklyn.”
You looked up and saw a girl no more than nineteen with hair just below her ears, she had a fresh scar on her neck and something in her eyes reminded you of yourself.
You had blinked and she had given you a look before offering you a smile of sorts. Gesturing with her head she began walking towards the dozens of desks.
“This way please.”
You stood up, not fully understanding why and Elysa gave you a look of surprise but followed after you and Officer Brooklyn. She stopped in front of a desk and gestured to a seat. You sat down not even looking at who was in front of you.
“Eddie what is this about-”
Something about that voice was familiar to you and you looked up, however instead of seeing someone familiar you saw a dark haired man with bright blue eyes in a uniform.
The man in front of you blinked twice before holding out his hand and you flinched almost instinctively. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Eddie flinch as well.
“I’m Detective Richard Grayson, it’s nice to meet you...?”
“I’m Elysa Aidenson. And I’m here because my friend needs help.” Elysa said instantly.
You shook your head in protest however Elysa ignored you. Detective Grayson did not, he instead looked at you and you felt like shrinking down in your chair. If Daniel knew you were here he’d kill you. Not only were you going to talk to the police, forced or not, about personal matters, you were without him in front of another man.
“Why do you need help?”
“I don’t-” You began when Elysa scoffed.
You sighed in almost frustration before remarking, “I don’t need help. He just got a little mad! He said it won’t happen again besides it’s more my fault then anything....”
Detective Grayson gave you a look almost as if what you said pained him and Officer Brooklyn had a strange look on her face almost as if what she was hearing was familiar. Detective Grayson leaned forward to say something but Officer Brooklyn stopped him before he could.
“What’s your name?” She asked, her voice soft.
You looked at her and you didn’t see pity in her eyes but understanding, a recognition of some sort. You swallowed and looked at her for a moment more before turning back to Detective Grayson.
“I’m Y/N. Y/n L/N.”
You blinked back into reality and found Detective Brooklyn writing something down in the file. Shaking your head slightly you blinked again.
“You know,” Detective Brooklyn began not looking up from the file, “every time I see you come in here, you’re injured.”
She looked up slowly from the file, a strange look on her face, almost worried.
“Though last time it was much worse.”
You nodded somewhat slowly before clearing your throat. You had to figure out why you were here before the memories overcame you and you had a panic attack.
“Why am I here again Detective?”
Detective Brooklyn tilted her head before raising an eyebrow at you, “You already know Y/n. He’s back. And he wants you.”
The air caught in your throat and you choked out a breath staring at her in disbelief.
“You didn’t even try to sugar coat it!” Was the only thing you could find yourself saying.
Detective Brooklyn sighed, setting the file down before she shrugged, “Seemed to me that it wouldn’t help since you had already guessed. It’s why your lip is busted. You were biting your lip, I assume, and bit too hard... I would know. It’s happened to me before.”
Something about her words seemed to have a double meaning and you stared at her nose, it was a bit longer and a tad bigger then you remembered but it had been almost three years.
“I just wanted to let you know because I’m going to be assigning you a protection detail starting tomorrow. Daniel Natalonie is one of the biggest players in the Gotham Underworld these days. Well him and Caleb Brooklyn.”
She said the words as if she hadn’t just revealed something astronomical about herself. And that Daniel.. well he had gotten what he always wanted, power. You swallowed and Detective Brooklyn sighed.
“Yes, Caleb Brooklyn is my father. No, I have no contact with him. However I do know that Daniel has a price on your head... well sort of. He is willing to pay big bucks to anyone that brings him you.”
You flinched and then watched her clench her fist regret flashing in her eyes before she shrugged and leaned back in her chair.
“You have a choice here Y/N. You can have the protection detail... or well I have a few off the record friends who would be happy to help.”
You couldn’t help but think of Nightwing. In his black and blue suit smiling at you and your stomach flipped. Your memories were mixing, you knew because instead of seeing him sitting on your couch, he was on the fire escape smiling that same smile at you.
“But if you want you can just have the normal protection detail.”
You shifted in your seat and avoided her gaze. For a moment your eyes darted to her neck and the scar was still there. Isn’t wasn’t as fresh as it was almost three years ago, but it was still there.
“I-”You began not fully sure of what you wanted to say, “I’ll do whatever works easiest for you.”
Detective Brooklyn sighed slightly, shooting you a strange kind of smile. She then hesitated before holding up a hand and picking up the phone. She quickly punched in a number and held the receiver to her face.
“Hi, It’s Eddie. Yeah I was wondering what the word about the protective detail for Y/N L/N was? ... They what? Okay, No, no I can handle it. Yeah. Thanks bye.”
Rubbing her forehead she hung up the phone and gave you an apologetic look. Leaning back in her chair she opened her mouth to speak only to close it. Sighing once again she finally spoke.
“For some reason they decided you don’t need a protective detail. Some jackass who is probably in Natalonie’s pocket planted the idea in some upper management's heads that you’ll be fine on your own and it’s not our job to keep you safe from ‘non-existent ’ threats.”
You sank into your chair slightly giving her a nervous look when the phone suddenly rang. Detective Brooklyn picked it up running a hand across her forehead, as stray pieces of hair slipped out.
“Eddie Brooklyn- oh hi Bruce.... they WHAT?” Standing up suddenly she got an alarmed look on her face before her voice cracked as she said, “I am so sorry about that! Oh so the kitchen didn’t catch fire? Alfred caught it? Oh thank goodness... so no one’s hurt? They’re on their way right now? Alright well thank you so much for allowing them to spend the day there. It was a big help.”
She nodded, slowly sinking back into her chair and it was then that you realized Detective Brooklyn was talking about the Wayne family. Alfred, Bruce, Tim? Definitely the Wayne’s what confused you was who Ria and Flori were. Judging by the way she was acting you assumed it was Detective Brooklyn’s children. Though if they were playing with Damian they would have to be a bit older and unless she had kids at like fourteen that was highly unlikely.
“Of course, yes... he’s on his way? Okay. Thank you again.”
Hanging up the phone Detective Brooklyn stood up, yanking her coat on. You followed her to your feet and she grabbed a bag along with keys before moving away from her desk.
“My shift is just about over, so I’m about to head out. Come with me would you? I have a few more questions I want to ask.”
You followed Detective Brooklyn outside and just off to the side of the station was what looked like a fairly nice car. Two girls no more than eleven dashed from it towards you and Detective Brooklyn.
“EDDIE!” The girl with bright red hair squealed as she ran towards her.
Instead of smiling and moving towards the girl with the same excitement Detective Brooklyn gave the girl a reprimanding look. But it didn’t stop her from slamming into Detective Brooklyn, wrapping her into a hug.
“Ria!”
A girl with a more sandy red-blonde hair who looked almost exactly like the redhead stopped right next to Detective Brooklyn and the first girl.
Twins.
The word was at the front of your mind before you could stop it. The two girls looked at you; the redhead had bright green eyes and a wide smile. She pulled away from Detective Brooklyn and held out her hand.
“I’m Ria!”
“Ria!” The other one remarked pulling on her arm, her dark blue eyes clouded.
The redhead- Ria, looked to the other and smiled brighter. She grabbed onto her sister’s arm and pulled her forwards.
“Come on Flori! We need to be more friendly. This is the librarian I was telling you about.”
You blinked twice before realizing the little girl you have given a book to right before panicking and cursing at Dick the other day was none other than the girl in front of you.
The other girl, Flori, gave Ria a look of surprise and asked, “When did you have time to go to the library?”
“When you were playing with Steph. Cass told me where to go.”
Flori gave Ria a look of shock and Detective Brooklyn snorted. You took a step back for a moment. Something about the three of them made you want to smile, but it also made you want to get as far away as you possibly could. If Daniel was after you, he’d go through anyone... anyone to get to you. And you couldn’t put these girls in harm’s way.
Turning to leave you noted the dark sky and remembered that you had no way to get home. Closing your eyes you let out a sigh however before you could even take another step you heard the sound of feet hitting the ground. Opening your eyes you saw Nightwing standing in front of you.
However instead of his usual smile you found a concerned look on his face. He took a step forward looking at you almost as if he was checking you over for injuries.
“Hey Nightwing,” Detective Brooklyn remarked, capturing his attention.
The concern looked slipped away from his face and he quickly replaced it with a smile.
“Detective... girls.”
Ria laughed in what you could only call a maniacal way and Flori snorted. Smiling slightly you looked over to them and saw Ria looking between you and Nightwing a strange look on her face. Flori had a gleam in her eye and she and Ria shared a look before grinning in an evil kind of way. However before you could even think to question it Nightwing was asking you a question.
“Huh?” You asked since you didn’t hear him.
“Where do you think you are going?” He repeated, raising an eyebrow.
You give him a confused look. Fiddling with your fingers you looked at him and he looked you in the eyes. Your cheeks flushed and you took a step back as the feelings wrapped around your throat.
“A-hot-ment- I mena- mean. I mean, I’m going back to my apartment why?”
Nightwing raised an eyebrow at your comment before remarking, “Alone?”
You nodded and he sighed. Shaking his head he placed his hands on his hips and gave you an almost reprimanding look and you gave him a confused one.
“Uh, yeah. I don’t really go home any other way.” You replied feeling even more confused than before.
“With your psycho ex on the loose?”
You froze for a moment and you could swear you heard his footsteps. Swallowing you pushed the thought away and took a step back from Nightwing. A slightly surprised expression crossed his face and then he winced, dropping his arms.
Shifting slightly you shrugged not wanting to meet his gaze. Rubbing on your arm you sighed trying your hardest to pick up the courage to look him in the eyes. However the thoughts hit you so hard you had to choke back tears.
Now look what you’ve done, you’ve upset him. Maybe it’s a good thing that Daniel’s back, maybe it’s a good thing he wants you again. After all you deserved everything that happened to you
You sunk into yourself a bit, parts of you tried to tell yourself that the thoughts were wrong but you didn’t truly believe it. Why did you always have to go and fuck everything up.
“I’ll be okay.” You finally forced out.
Part of you wanted to assure Nightwing that it wouldn’t matter if you ended up dead because it would be for the best. However the thoughts weren’t through with you yet.
You’re just phishing for sympathy for him to tell you you’re wrong because you know he will
But really you weren’t you just wanted him to stop caring because you weren’t ever going to change. You were terrible. Horrible. Awful really.
“Hey, I know what you’re doing. Don’t do that. Don’t do it, don’t you dare!” Nightwing suddenly said.
Before you could even react he had your face in his hands and was looking you dead in the eye. Cupping your cheeks he leaned in slightly.
“You are amazing Y/N. Completely and totally incredible honestly. You don’t deserve a single damn thing that happened to you. You are one of the funniest, kindest and honest to god prettiest women I ever met. You radiate this kind of light I haven’t seen anyone else radiate. You make my darkest days bright so don’t you dare think you are anything less than spectacular.”
Your cheeks flushed and you gave him a surprised look as the feelings you’d been trying so hard to push back jumped straight into your throat and you had a violent urge to kiss him.
However, you knew better. Mainly because as soon as he saw your bright red cheeks Nightwing let you go, his cheeks flushing slightly. He cleared his throat and you held a hand to your chest as if to catch the heart that was about to beat out of it.
Of course you knew people cared about you but something as blunt as that... something so direct hit you hard. You swallowed again, your heart beating rapidly pushing all your nerves away.
“... If I can’t go home what am I going to do?”
Nightwing looked at you for a moment and you felt flustered. Your feelings were thrumming in your chest and lungs along with the beating of your heart. However instead of saying anything he just looked at you.
Someone cleared their throat loudly, and you looked to see a slightly smug looking Detective Brooklyn with the twins clinging to her sides. She raised an eyebrow at Nightwing, who then took a step away from you.
“Y/N can always crash with me if she wants... I mean if she doesn’t wanna have a sleepover with you, Blue.”
You froze for a moment and the thought of Nightwing staying over at your apartment, of you talking to him early into the next morning... of you sleepily confessing your feelings to him. Heat flushed your cheeks again and you shook your head.
“I uh,” You began causing both Nightwing and Detective Brooklyn to look at you, “I’ll stay with Detective Brooklyn tonight.... I mean for all we know Daniel’s waiting at my apartment to ambush me.”
You had stammered slightly but Nightwing nodded and a slight smile appeared on his face. The twins were looking at you, Ria’s green eyes were almost glowing and she blinked once then twice.
“Why are you so pretty miss?” She asked bluntly.
Your blush intensified and you scrambled to answer her as you watched her sister nod in agreement, as if she had the exact same question.
You wanted to reply but only gibberish came out. When the gibberish escaped you, Ria pointed a finger at you, her jaw dropping. Detective Brooklyn leaned forward and pushed Ria’s arm down. However a grin exploded onto Ria’s face and she began jumping up and down.
“The nice and pretty librarian does what I do!”
She squealed with delight and all the worry about embarrassing yourself slipped away from you. Ria turned towards Flori and stuck her tongue out at her before blowing a raspberry.
“I told you pretty people could do that!”
Flori smiled slightly before rolling her eyes, “I’m still the attractive twin.” She remarked.
She then used her finger to pull her nose up and she snorted a few times continuing, “Miss Piggy.”
“Liking food does not make me a pig.”
“Naming your stomach does make you a loser though.” Flori retorted.
Ria gasped in a clear dramatic fashion as she pressed her hand to her chest, “Marshmallow and I are both offended, that was very rude Flori.”
Detective Brooklyn snorted, then tried to cover it up by coughing and looking away as she smiled fondly. Catching you staring at her, her smile widened and she laughed slightly. Then she turned to the girls and sighed.
“Alright ladies, it’s time to head home.”
“But Eddie!” They said in unison.
“If we go home we can have a movie night and eat those cupcakes I’ve been hiding for you guys.”
“CUPCAKES?” Ria squealed as Flori’s jaw dropped.
It was then a hand came down on your shoulder and you flinched slightly. Looking you found Nightwing giving you a concerned look again. You blinked at him almost asking what was wrong.
“You gonna be okay?”
Turning back towards the girls who were now having a poke war, you smiled and nodded.
“I think I’m going to be just fine.”
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Nightmares of the past, memories so clear you could even taste them, yanked you from your sleep.
Ghost touches raced across your skin and you shuttered, pulling your legs to your chest, you took in a deep breath and tried to calm down. However it was a bit difficult. Your breathing was erratic and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t calm yourself down. However, when you heard the small soft voices you began to come back into reality.
“Do you think a hug will help?”
“It doesn’t help me when I get like that. But it might, I think she’s just scared not... Should we ask Eddie?”
“Maybe Ria. Maybe.”
You took a deep breath in and your breathing slowed down, closing your eyes, you took in another breath. As you let it out you felt someone sit down next to you. Peeking an eye open you saw Flori looking up at you with concern and curiosity mixed on her face.
“Are you okay, miss?”
You nodded slowly, taking another breath in you nodded a bit more firmly and looked at her. Accidentally you met her eyes and her dark blue eyes reminded you of the color of the sky right before night fully took over. She blinked and raised an eyebrow at you slightly confused.
“Are you sure? Do you want a hug?”
Before you knew what you were doing you replied, “I’m fine... but a hug would be nice.”
Flori’s face brightened and she wrapped her small arms around you. You returned her hug and saw over Flori’s shoulder, Ria lurking in the darkness a blanket wrapped around her shoulder. She stepped forwards into the light and blinked. Her face was paler than earlier, she looked empty for a moment before she blinked and a smile was on her face.
It, being around Ria and Flori, reminded you of your childhood. Of your busy household and the noise, the laughter that it always held.
When you heard the sound of angry whispering you blinked and Flori pulled away from you. She looked back to Ria and the two got excited looks on their faces. Suddenly Flori was off the couch and Ria was running down the hall. Flori froze and turned back towards you. She held out her hand and smiled.
“Come on.”
You didn’t exactly know how you felt about a ten year old telling you what to do but you stood up and took her hand. Curiosity was burning through you, what could get the girls this excited?
You turned the corner and Ria was leaning around another corner smiling brightly. She saw the two of you and motioned for you to come towards her. You did and stopped before peering around the corner as well.
What you saw was... well incredibly surprising.
The window was open and Detective Brooklyn- Eddie was trying to shove Red Hood out it.
“Aw come on doll.”
“Y/n is here Hood. She knows I’m a cop and that you have a warrant out for your arrest!”
“Commissioner Gordon told me if I turn enough criminals in to him that would go away.”
“He did not! He would never.”
Red Hood shrugged before throwing his hands out in a I guess so motion. Eddie took this opportunity to get him mostly out of the window before he realized what she was doing and grabbed onto the window frame, pulling himself back in and undoing her work. Flori and Ria giggled, catching his attention. He turned towards you, poking his head back into the apartment.
“Girls! Come on out and help me, will ya?”
Flori snorted but moved out from the corner, Ria went to do so but paused first rubbing at her chest slightly before shaking her head and following after her sister.
You watched from around the corner as the girls stopped at Eddie’s side. She gave them a stink eye as she continued to try and push Red Hood out the window.
“You two shouldn’t be up. Especially you Ria.”
Taking the opportunity, due to Eddie being distracted, Red Hood pushed himself back into the apartment. Eddie wobbled and then fell on her butt cursing.
“Hood!” She snapped her face flushing.
Red Hood sighed before climbing back through the window. He looked at the girls and they laughed in a maniacal way. He laughed slightly before sighing again.
“You guys wanna try and convince her to let me in?”
The girls looked at each other then at Eddie and shook their heads. At least they’re loyal, you thought with a smile.
“I have a front door and you have normal clothes. If you had done this the normal way, you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” Eddie replied as she stood up.
“What would we be doing if I did it the normal way?”
You had to stop yourself from snorting. Eddie’s face was still flushed from when she hit the floor however you caught her eye roll and the hand gesture she showed him but not the girls.
Putting up his hands in defeat he nodded, “Fine, fine you win. Can I at least have a kiss goodbye?”
Eddie froze for a moment, you saw her tilt her head to the side before she blinked and shook her head.
“No.”
Red Hood crossed his arms and you were sure though you didn’t know him very well that under his helmet he was pouting, “Why not?”
“Because I know you Ja-. I know you Hood and if you can convince me to kiss you, you’re going to think you can convince me to let you in.”
Instead of replying Red Hood was silent which seemed strange. Looking towards him you saw him facing the girls and Ria’s wobbling slightly.
“Hood what’s-”
“You alright Squirt?” Red Hood asked, hopping in through the window and moving towards Ria.
“Ugh,” She muttered, her voice weak, “my chest hurts.”
It was then she dropped towards the ground. However instead of hitting the ground Red Hood caught her and pulled her up slightly.
“Ria!” Both Eddie and Flori exclaimed.
The two of them rushed towards her and Flori grabbed onto Ria’s arm as Eddie looked her over.
“Did you take your medicine Ria?”
The girl shook her head and Eddie glared at her.
“I don’t like them.” Ria mumbled as she leaned against Red Hood.
“I don’t care if you don’t like them, Ria, you need them... Flori would go and-” Eddie began but before she could even finish Flori was up and out of sight.
Before you knew it your found yourself in front of Eddie and Red Hood. You heard Flori’s footsteps racing around the apartment.
“Is-” You began hearing your voice crack, “is she gonna be okay?”
Eddie looked at you and for a moment you saw her gaze jump to Red Hood in a kind of nervous way. However, Red Hood answered your question.
“If she takes her meds, she’ll be fine. But the stubborn little squirt doesn’t like to.”
“They taste like shit.” Ria mumbled.
There was a pause of silence and Eddie glaring at Red Hood. She gave him a I told you so look. And he sighed.
“This is why I don’t like you cursing around them.”
“She cursed the bat brat out the other day. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with me.”
“She did what?”
“Curse the bat brat out. It was amazing. He couldn't even say a reply, he was stunned by Squirt’s colorful and creative wit.”
Ria laughed slightly before wincing and Eddie sighed. She rubbed her face looking even more exhausted than before and Flori came dashing back into the room, carrying a medicine bottle and a water bottle.
Flori passed them to Eddie who gestured to Red Hood to hold Ria up a bit more before looking at you. Flori passed you her head hanging down slightly.
“Would you,” Eddie began after Flori turned around the corner, “watch Flori for me? She always has a hard time when Ria has her fits.”
You nodded without thinking and turned to follow after her. Walking a bit quicker you made it in front of Flori and Ria’s room just as the door shut. You raised a hand and your heart began pumping your chest.
You shouldn’t bother her-
If she freaks out whenever her sister has fits she probably needs someone to talk to, if you don’t talk to her she’ll be alone and afraid
Knocking on the door you waited for a moment before hearing a very quiet,
“Come in.”
Opening the door you peeked your head in to see Flori sitting on one of the beds in the room. In one corner was a bed up against the wall with art and posters of musicals and ballets on it. In the other corner was a bed with nothing on the wall. Flori sat on the bed against the wall with the posters and art.
She stared at the other bed, her knees against her chest and her head resting on the tops of her knees. Walking into the room, you closed the door behind you and moved to sit on the bed next to Flori.
“Her room is like this back home too.” She whispered as you sat down.
You pulled your legs onto her bed into a crisscross. Resting one arm by your stomach you set your other arm on top of the resting one’s fist and leaned your head against your free hand.
“What do you mean?” You dared to ask.
Flori sighed and pulled her legs tighter against her chest.
“Ria’s bedroom walls. They’re blank. She has no dreams, no ambitions, nothing. She refuses too... Did you know she loves to dance? Nearly as much as I do. She knows every move I know, her favorite ballet is Giselle because she believes she can relate. But she refuses to tell our parents how much she loves to dance. Did you know Ria has the voice of an angel when she sings? She loves to sing too... she loves to do all the things she shouldn’t.”
Your brow furrowed in confusion as Flori’s voice turned bitter and sharp.
“She is so full of life to be... to be dying.”
You blinked twice and released a breath as you began to understand what was going on.
“Why- is she-” You began struggling on how to word it.
“She’s sick.” Was all Flori said.
“Oh,”
“Yeah.”
You let out a sigh, for a moment you saw your mother in a hospital bed smiling at you softly. Fiddling with your hands you began to debate on whether or not to tell her your story.
“My mother... she had breast cancer. It tore her apart, seeing her in the hospital bed... slowly wasting away,” You remarked, sighing softly, “it nearly killed my father. It hurt me even though I was a little too young to fully understand. But... she got better, she recovered. She made it though it, Ria can too-”
“Ria’s sickness isn’t something she can recover from or get over. It isn’t cancer, it isn’t a cold, it isn’t the flu. Her sickness isn’t something you can catch and then get over. It’s been consuming her life since the day we were born! She’s going to die, she knows it too. It’s why she tries so hard to be bright, to be bubbly and nice despite- despite all she’s going through.” Flori snapped tears appearing in her eyes, “Our parents have kept her locked in the house for most of our lives... she has never seen a beach or even snow. Ria has no idea the thrill of tumbling down a hill or what it’s like to ride a bike because- because they never let her. Ria is going to die never having truly lived and it kills me.”
You had no idea what to say to her, or even how to begin to comfort her. Wringing your hands you bit your lip as you looked the girl over. She turned to you, tears in her eyes.
“Why? Why did it just have to be her? Why couldn’t it be me too? She’s so alone in this and- and I don’t know what to do! She has no friends, she has me, our parents and Eddie and that’s it! I have friends, I have so many people but- but it just doesn’t seem right. We are twins, we are supposed to share everything, why couldn’t we share this?”
You blinked twice, Flori really wanted to make sure her sister knew she wasn’t alone but she didn’t seem to realize lamenting over the fact that it was only Ria was the one who was sick.
“How about instead of trying to pin blame on someone for being sick you try to make her feel like her sickness isn’t the only thing about her.” You tried waving your hands, “I mean it’s clear you love her. But it isn’t your fault that she’s sick. It’s not like you wanted her to be born like this. And it seems like your parents are treating her like the only thing she is, is sick. Treat like she’s... well Ria. And I think it will make things easier for both of you.”
Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Flori lower her legs away from her chest and she sat up straight. Rubbing her nose she nodded somewhat slowly.
“You’re right.”
You turned towards her and she smiled at you slightly before leaning forwards and hugging you.
“Thank you Miss L/N.”
Pulling apart you gently patted Flori’s head and shot her a soft smile, “How about you get to bed. I bet Ria will be fine in the morning.”
Flori nodded and you got up to leave. However she grabbed onto your arm stopping you in your tracks.
You looked down at her slightly confused.
“Uh, Would you stay?” She asked looking up at you.
You sighed and smiled. Nodding she quickly pulled back the covers on her bed and patted a side of it. You climbed into the bed and Flori smiled at you.
“Thank you,” She whispered with a yawn before closing her eyes, “thank you.”
You looked at her for a moment before nestling into the pillow and closing your eyes with one thought in your head.
It’s nice to be wanted.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
It had been almost two weeks since you crashed at Edelynne Brooklyn’s apartment. Two weeks since Daniel returned to town and put a price on you, two weeks since Nightwing became your personal “bodyguard.”
You would be lying if you were to say you weren’t surprised when you arrived back at your apartment, accompanied by Detective Brooklyn or Eddie. There seemed to be no sign of Daniel or any of his goons. So you settled back into your apartment.
However, Eddie informed you, for your safety it would be better for you to stay at your apartment. Not only due to the fact that she and the vigilante’s could easily surveille it, but due to the fact that Daniel could very easily convince someone to lead you away from the library to grab you.
At first you were a little bummed and it occurred to you that you had missed your date with Dick, however he didn’t try to contact you nor did Jason. Instead of worry about it you were actually having a lot of fun with Nightwing
And while Nightwing was fun to hang around and the longer you spent around him the stronger your feelings got, sometimes he was really fucking annoying.
After a late night working on library business from home you decided to sleep in the next morning, Nightwing it seemed, decided that wasn’t going to happen.
At seven in the morning while you were blissfully asleep you felt something gently tap your shoulder, then your face. Blinking blearily you sat up.
“Good morning Gorgeous.”
Standing over your in his classic black and blue costume was Nightwing. Grumbling, you flopped back onto your bed and pulled your covers over your head.
“Fuck off,” You stated loud enough he could still hear you, “I’m trying to sleep.”
You heard a slight snort, then suddenly your blanket was gone and you were lying on your bed shivering. Sitting up you glared at Nightwing who held your stolen blanket in his gloved hands.
Readying yourself into a crouched position you waited for a moment before jumping towards the blanket. Just as you were about to grab it Nightwing yanked it out of your reach and caught you in his arms.
He laughed at your frustrated expression and as you crossed your arms and pouted. Setting you on the ground he smiled broadly at you and remarked.
“Why do you have to be so cute?”
Without thinking you replied looking him dead in the eyes, “Why do you have to be so hot?”
Nightwing blinked a few times, looking slightly shocked, he lowered your blanket closer to the floor and looked at you almost as if he didn’t believe it.
“What did you say?”
You froze as you realized what you said. Your face flushed and you shifted slightly, breaking his gaze before looking to the floor.
“Nothing, it was nothing.”
Nightwing gave you a skeptical look before he leaned towards you a suggestive smile on his face. Your face turned a brighter shade of red and you realized this was a perfect opportunity to grab the blanket from his hands.
Lunging forwards you yanked the blanket from him. You had just grasped it and began to pull away when Nightwing began to pull back until he didn’t. The blanket went limp in your hands and you fell onto your butt.
Nightwing blinked twice and shook his head. Running his hand through his hair he let out a frustrated grunt before sighing.
“I’ve- I’ve got to go. But I’ll be right back.”
He headed towards the window and you blinked in surprise. Scrambling to your feet you chased after him grabbing onto his arm. He turns back towards you, a clearly torn expression on his face.
“Wait,” You said, giving him a confused look as the thoughts descended upon you.
He’s leaving, he’ll never come back, it’s because you’re a mistake a problem a beast-
“Where are you going?”
Nightwing looked at you and sighed, he then stroked the side of your face with one of his hands. You leaned into his touch and then he pulled away.
“I’ve got to go, the other vigilante’s need my help with something but I’ll be right back.”
You blinked and realized while it had been fun with Nightwing being here and hanging out with him you could finally get out of your apartment. You smiled at him and then he gave you a suspicious look.
“You, “ he began looking at you, “are going to stay here, Okay?”
“But-” You protested for a moment throwing your hands up before he cut you off taking your face into his hands.
“If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.” He said somewhat slowly as he rested his head against yours.
Your cheeks flushed once again and you blinked a few times. Pulling away from you he sighed and slowly pulled his hands away from your cheeks. He probably said goodbye but you were in too much shock to realize it and before you knew he was on your window sill and then gone.
You sighed feeling the temptation to leave however his words echoed in your ears and you shook your head.
“If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest and you sat down by the window resting your chin in your hand and you waited. And waited. And waited. You waited even when the storm clouds rolled in, even when they split open and rain began to pour down. You waited for hours. It was only when the night was turning day again as the rain continued to pour from the heavens that he returned.
Your window swung open and your stomach swirled, however it was a soaked Nightwing that came through the window and not Daniel or some random thug.
You rushed towards him and quickly wrapped him in a hug.
“I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried about you. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you. I mean like I don’t really think my feelings matter since your a hero and whatever and people would say so much shit to you if anything started between us- not that it would. But it’s just I care about you a lot.” You rambled as you pressed your face into his chest.
Oh gosh, you couldn’t believe you just blurted all of that out. Maybe he didn’t hear all of it. Maybe some of it was muffled. Maybe, you hoped, maybe.
For a moment the world seemed to stop and everything was right. Then Nightwing had his hands on your shoulders and pulled you away from him. He gave you a slightly angry look and you instantly regretted your little ramble.
“What is this nonsense about other people? I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.”
You blinked once, then twice, then three times before you fully understood what he said.
“I love every damned piece of you ”
“No matter what anyone else says.”
Your heart skipped a beat and you gave him a wide-eyed look. Your pretty sure your jaw had dropped and your stomach swirled as you replayed his words over and over and over again in your head.
“You,” You began your voice almost squeaking, “love me?”
Nightwing smiled and nodded, pressing his head against yours.
“Of course I love you. I’d be an idiot not to.”
You blushed and flushed and tried to stutter out a reply but unfortunately you couldn’t. Your cheeks were heated and you felt your heart racing in your chest.
For some reason the first thing your mind jumped to was Dick Grayson, how you had a crush on him no matter your feelings- your love for Nightwing.
“But-” You began taking a step back from him, “I- I have a crush.”
A smile slowly formed on Nightwing’ s face as you took another step back from him.
“I mean I love- like. LIKE! I like you but, I do have a crush and - and” You rambled shaking your hands very confused.
Nightwing laughed, he actually laughed and you felt your cheeks flushing an even darker color. He took a step towards you and you took a step away from him. He raised his hands almost in defense and remarked,
“About that...”
“About what?” You asked, suddenly feeling suspicious.
“About the whole crush and me thing, I know who your crush is.”
You gave him a confused look and shook your head. there was no way he knew who your crush was, there wasn’t!
“It’s Dick Grayson.”
You looked at him in surprise, your jaw dropping nearly in shock. He laughed slightly at your face before taking a step towards you. This time you didn’t take a step back. He got closer until he was right in front of you.
“And I,” Nightwing began, reaching up for his eye mask, “Am Dick Grayson.”
He took off his eye mask and looked at you. You blinked your eyes going wide as you saw his face. His very much Dick Grayson face.
Nightwing is Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson is Nightwing......
You talked about your crush to your crush.........
As your mind exploded in on itself Nightson- Dickwing- the man in front of you held out his hands as if he was going to catch you were you to faint.
You laughed slightly then proceeded to place your face in your hands and let out moans of despair.
He knew.
He knew every little thing that you thought- well most of the things that you thought. He knew of your side of the situation- wait. Wait, why did he ask that? Why did he-
“Why did you ask me if my anxiety tends to make me tune people out?” You found yourself questioning.
Dickwing- or whoever he was smiled at you and laughed slightly before replying,
“Well, because when we were in the aisle at the library and you asked what I liked I said I like you.”
You froze once again blinking in surprise. So he tried to ask you out previously. That’s why Jason and Damian were laughing.
Jason and Damian.... if Dick was Nightwing that meant they were probably vigilante’s too. Red Robin.... definitely Tim.
Bruce must be Batman which would mean Damian is Robin. That just left Jason.
However, before you could try and figure out which vigilante Jason was, your phone buzzed. Pulling it out of your pocket you looked at your phone to see a text from Eddie.
Eddie: Come to the station, now, you need to see this.
You showed ... Dick your phone. He hummed slightly and gave you a look.
“We might as well go... but first let me change”
You nodded with a sigh and went and got your coat.
Before you knew it you were walking up to the station. On the roof of the station was a flash of red. As you got closer you realized it wasn’t a flash but a helmet. Sitting on the roof of the Gotham City police department was Red Hood.
He spotted you and Dick and waved. You blinked as you noticed the other man tied up on the roof looking fairly angry. It was Daniel. Your breathing stopped for just a moment until he tried to wriggled only for Red Hood to kick him and for Daniel to stop moving.
“Oh would you look at that, it’s a pretty librarian. How ya doin sweetheart?” Red Hood remarked getting just a bit closer to you.
You heard Dick sigh and gave Red Hood a confused look. Slowly the gear in your mind began to turn.
“I assume,” Red Hood mused since he didn’t get an answer from you, “You’re doing much better now that scum like Natalonie’s off the streets am I right?”
Before you could reply Eddie walked out of the station looking at her phone. She looked up at you and waved before walking towards you. She stopped at your side and gestured towards Red Hood.
“See what I mean?” She remarked.
“Detective, Detective, Detective,” Red Hood whistled looking at Eddie, “where can I get your number?”
Eddie replied in a sweet tone, “Up your ass maybe?”
Red Hood laughed before getting even closer to the edge of the roof, “Come on doll that’s no way to be.”
“Fuck off to some one who care Hood.” Eddie replied, flipping him the bird.
You heard Red Hood laugh again but before he could say anything else he looked in a different direction and his shoulders sank a little. Looking back to Eddie, had he not been wearing a helmet you swear he would be smiling.
“I guess I’ll have to try you again later Detective.”
Eddie rolled her eyes, the semblance of a smile starting to form on her face, she shook her head and flipped him off again, “In your dreams Hood.”
“Where else would they be doll?” Red Hood remarked before giving a quick salute and taking off.
It took you a moment to realize it but the puzzle piece began to fit together. How Eddie nearly called Red Hood by his name, why he seemed to know who you were, why he talked to you so casually when you met him when you were staying with Eddie.
Red Hood was Jason... which meant Eddie was the girl. The one he couldn’t get over. It all made sense... well sort of.
“Oh my gosh.” You muttered pressing a hand to your face as you realized that Eddie shoved Jason out a window.
“You just connected it didn’t you?” Dick asked with a smile.
You looked at him slightly confused, raising an eyebrow almost in question, you give him a confused look.
“Daniel’s going to prison for a very long time.” Eddie informed you as she looked at her phone again shaking her head, she looked up and smiled at you.
“Have fun you two,” She then said with a wink before turning to walk away.
You flushed slightly before turning to Dick. He smiled at you and you took in a breath.
He was the only man who had your affections. Basically All the Man that you needed. So you should probably tell him how you feel.
“I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.” You said slowly, not exactly meeting his eyes.
He laughed slightly before pressing his head to yours, “Neither do I.”
You smiled and looked up, looking at him in his bright blue eyes.
“So, how about a rain-check on that date?”
You smiled slyly and then the both of you burst into laughter.
“I’ve got time,” He replied, “for you, I’ve got all the time in the world.”
Blushing slightly, you smiled at him and sighed, “Awesome.”
=============================================================
AUTHOR’S NOTE!!!!
Okay first thing’s first I just wanna let you guys know my original idea of all the man that I need was like gonna be a full on fic. I told my friend all about it and like it had a lot details and everything, but then I got to college and even thought I really love doing these, it was super difficult to write. Not because I don't’ have tome because I actually have a surprising amount of free time but because I just couldn’t find any inspiration. So a few days ago I decided I was going to start spooky season a little early and try writing to some Halloween music.... and it worked! I was able to get moving with this two-shot! So yeah Halloween music is my muse right now 😂.
But yeah, anyways my OC’s... technically there was a lot of them in this but only two are going to have stories, the others will be either background characters or part of their past. I’ll tell you one because it’s actually the first idea I and for a batfam fanfic. It’s Eddie and her story. I’m not gonna lie it’s kinda sad but not nearly has sad as the other one because I have a lot of issues🤣.
Back to the point if y’all wanna see more of certain OC’s just let me know I can find a way to include them into the one-shots, two-shots or fics. But yeah.
Finally I might be a little slower on the posting just because I’m in school and finding enough time to get inspiration and write, edit and have a friend proof-read it will take a while. But I will definitely have some done. Anyway thanks so much for being sooo patient with me!
Lots of love!
-Redhead-batgirl
Tag List:
@andromedaj2003, @battlenix, @sol-the-salmon
#part two#two-shot#fluff#little bit of angst#backstory!#reader x dick grayson#nightwing x reader#reader x nightwing#y/n x dick grayson#y/n x nightwing#nightwing x y/n#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x y/n#Dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batboys#y/n#reader x batboy#batboy x reader#y/n x batboy#batboy x y/n#librarian! reader#ocs#Red Hood#Jason Todd#Edelynne Brooklyn#Florence Brooks#Adrielle Brooks#Mirabilis Cadman
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