#Van Helsing's professorial career is buried under questions about vampire lore. Say goodbye to the lesson plan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

see-arcane · 5 months

Text

Just tripped and fell into a what-if scenario:

"What if Jonathan really had caught up to Dracula in Piccadilly and killed him in the street?"

Head lopped off. Kukri through the chest. The 'murder victim' turns to dust in full view of the gawking crowd. Then what? Then what??

Piccadilly Police: "So this man beheaded and impaled an aristocrat in the middle of the street."

Witnesses: "He did."

Piccadilly Police: "And the body..?"

Witnesses: "Crumbled into that pile of dust."

Piccadilly Police: "..."

Witnesses: "..."

Piccadilly Police: "...So has he named which magician he's working for or--?"

Witnesses: "No, he's just been busy kicking the dust into the horse dung piles in the gutter."

Of course, this is the best case scenario sillytimes version. Serious version? Jonathan only manages half of the process before some Good Samaritans tackle him; and likely get cut in the process. I bet he could chop Dracula's head off, but not manage the heart-piercing in time. He gets dragged off to jail. The Count's two pieces get taken to the morgue. And now Van Helsing, the Suitors, and Mina are all on a ticking deadline to stake Dracula's heart before sundown with Important Witnesses present to prove Jonathan's innocence and sanity in the slaying...

And if and when that happens?

That means the Drac Attack Pack are responsible for bringing the reality of vampires into the public awareness.

So.

Surprise, everyone!

Imagine the can of worms that would open around them, around the whole concept. Their original plan to head to Castle Dracula to end the Brides gets a LOT of extra tagalong company. Photographers are there. Ditto shady government sorts who, of course, are eager to investigate a way to turn vampirism into a benefit to the Crown. The Drac Attack Pack would be swamped with sensationalism. It'd be a circus.

Which all adds up to a belated understanding for me about just why Dracula had to get away from them in Piccadilly. If he had been caught and killed? God. What a mess it'd be.

#bet the real estate firm would get a business boom #hell yeah I want to get my house from Jonathan 'Vampire Slayer' Harker. Hey can you do the wall-crawling thing? Any knife tricks?#Van Helsing's professorial career is buried under questions about vampire lore. Say goodbye to the lesson plan #Mina can't take two steps without Disturbingly Interested strangers asking 'sooo what was it like?' 👀#Art never knows peace at another aristo get-together #Quincey is considering moving into the woods and never coming back #Jack drops the asylum like a hot rock and follows him after the 100th question about whether he 'fed' Renfield to the Count or not #what a train wreck (positive)#dracula

127 notes · View notes