#UGH I can’t stand have handsome heroic nice GUY friends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slowburnittotheground · 6 years

Text

Love Letters - Chapter 1

Festivals are one of the reasons Jude hates people. The crowds, the noise and the expectations of social interactions are too much for him; give him a wide, open field with no one in sight and he’s happy.

Renaissance festivals are hell on Earth. Not only are there crowds of people with whining children and rude customers, but they are dressed up in ridiculous, cringe-worthy costumes, talking like idiots and making believe. There’s something about the total lack of inhibitions that completely rubs him the wrong way-- he, who would die before letting someone see him dressing up or pretending.

So why has he agreed to working in one for the entire summer?

The problem started when he was born. No, alright, it might have been two years ago when he showed up at Nesbitt’s Ranch & Stable penniless, hopeless and desperate for work. Being in that position is dangerous: you are forced to rely on the kindness of others, which means you are in their pocket forever more. Not that Tara Nesbitt would have forced him to do any favours for her, but she had to know that he owed her so much that he would never say ‘no’ to any request. Even if it involved tending to the horses at the local Rennfaire.

Thank God the stables are out of the thick of things. They are tacked onto the side of a jousting ring on the north end of the faire grounds, and don’t even show up on ye-olde map in the centre of the ‘village’. Visiting the horses isn’t recommended and Jude is afforded some measure of privacy when he is working.

He gathers that this isn’t the largest faire, but he can’t imagine something like this being any more popular than this. He is still astounded that hundreds of people file in every weekend, and even on weekdays the place is almost full. Not everyone dresses up-- most families they are here to watch the events: the archery and the music and the juggling.

But whenever Jude is forced to walk through the faire, seeking the bathroom conveniently situated on the other side of the square, he eyes those who come in costume, wondering how on Earth a fairy is considered Renaissance, or what a pirate was doing this far from the coast.

“Jude!” He wants to run away at the sound of the name because who the hell would recognize him at one of these things but then he sees Matias and reminds himself that part of the reason he agreed to this fiasco was because one of his only friends had convinced him. Just barely.

“Ugh,” Jude offers in greeting. Matias is in costume, and Jude doesn’t even want to look at him. He does, anyway, and has to admit that his outfit is actually pretty convincing. Matias works here as a knight and they have probably given him one of the higher quality costumes: a long black tabard with silver embroidery along the seams and a crest of five silver lions on his chest. He wore it belted over real half-plate armor, with a long sword on his hip. With his tall, muscular frame, Matias might have been convincing, if it weren’t for the cellphone in his hand.

“Won’t you get in trouble for that?” Jude asks, nodding to the phone. Matias blinks in surprise and stows the phone in a leather pouch on his belt.

“It’s hard to remember to stay in character sometimes,” he says with a half grin. “Luckily most of this job is riding or I’d definitely get fired.”

“What, no heroic stage performances?” Jude says, stowing his hands in his own pockets and giving what he knows is a smarmy smile to his friend. “No princesses to save?”

Matias looks uncomfortable as he shifts weight from one leg to the other. “There’s a princess, but she hardly needs saving. More likely I’m going to have to save the other staff from her...”

Jude’s eyes wander to the pavilion on the other side of the square where the official faire ‘princess’ is available for pictures in her off time. He hasn’t met her yet, but one look has already told him that she is not any sort of damsel in distress.

“Yeah, good luck with that.”

“I take it you are still determined not to meet any of the other staff?” Matias asks, and Jude is annoyed that he has to go through this conversation for the hundredth time. Does Matias really think his opinion has changed after only two days of work?

“No offense, Matias, but these people are ridiculous. You might ride and joust, which I guess redeems you to an extent, but some of the staff literally just walk around in character. They just pretend all day. They LARP for a living!” Jude eyes a particularly animate pirate making grand gestures to a watching group of tourists, and cringes so hard he feels it in the marrow of his bones.

“Judge not, young stable master,” Matias replies in a deliberate accent, and Jude wants to smack the stupid grin off of his face.

“I hate you and everyone here,” Jude says, suppressing a laugh. “I gotta go. See you before the joust.”

At least the horses are straightforward. They don’t talk back, but the traitors seem to enjoy the festival. Several of the mares are getting over excited at the sound of the waiting crowd. He has to chide them into standing still while he checks their shoes and puts on their elaborate outfits. “You’re a geek for a good LARP, aren’t you Red?” he asks the ginger who he has a soft spot for. “Can’t wait to dress up for the crowd. Goddamn nerd.” The mare utters a low whiny that makes him laugh. It’s a lot easier to interact with the animals than any of those people outside, and he’s grateful that only the ‘knights’ tend to come back here.

Other than Matias, there are 5 other regular staff who ride the horses. This includes the other knights, a falconer, and two circus performers. They each have a horse they prefer and Jude finds it easy to stable-talk to them-- at least he’s confident about the subject matter. They don’t pay him much mind, sticking to the business of horses and avoiding small talk. Thank God.

The other staff at the faire are not as forgiving. There are a pile of them that range from the ages of 18 to 25, university students for the most part, spending their summer semester working. They are typical fun-loving young people and are social to a fault. Jude has actually physically hidden behind a stall door just to avoid having the make friends with them.

Sometimes, however, he is taken by surprise. Because fucking hell if it isn’t the ‘pirate’ he saw before, wearing a self-assured smirk to make up for his embarrassing lack of beard. He’s probably going for that young, suave, prince-of-thieves sort of stereotype, complete with a loose tunic and tight leather pants. He’s obviously one of the main cast members because his blue coat is about as high-quality as Matias’s tunic, with shiny gold buttons and complex rope embroidery.

Jude watches him approach the stable where he is almost literally tethered to a horse and realizes it is too late to pretend he didn’t see him coming. What the hell is a pirate doing near the stables, anyway? Why the hell was a pirate at a rennfaire in the middle of a prairie province, hundreds of kilometres from the ocean? How the hell did they manage to shove a pirate into a storyline involving a medieval princess?

“Hey kid,” the pirate says casually and Jude feels himself bristling with dislike instantly. He’s practically swaggering. “Do you know who Matias is? Tall, dark and handsome? Likes to sit astride horses and carries a big stick?”

Is this guy for real?

“Yeah,” Jude mutters and he isn’t reserved with the skeptical look he gives the pirate. He can’t be much older than Jude is, if at all. He’s taller, but only by a margin. Jude writes him off as a university student-- probably in a drama program, no less.

“Would you kindly assist me in finding him?”

“I’m good.” Jude turns back to the horse, the big black one who Matias usually rides, both here and back at Nesbitt’s. He is brushing out the sleek cloak, despite it already shining like silk. Anything to finishing conversing with an over enthusiastic D&D character.

The pirate makes an impatient noise. “Come on, dude,” he says, dropping character. “He said he’d meet here. Are you expecting him soon, or…?”

“No idea.” Jude is well aware of how unhelpful he is being, but he wasn’t hired to do customer service. Or to talk to anyone, really.

“Wow, I guess it’s true what they say about the janitorial staff.”

“Excuse me?” Jude can’t help it-- he’s always been one to rise to the bait. Even if this guy wasn’t trying to get him going, he unwittingly set a trap that Jude is going to fucking destroy. “This coming from a glorified cosplayer?”

“Cosplayer?” the pirate snaps back, because apparently his fuse isn’t much longer than Jude’s. “I’ll have you know I’m an actor!”

“Because that’s definitely different,” Jude says with a glare. “Sounds like a really hard job.”

“It takes training,” the pirate insists and Jude can see little pink patches forming on his tanned cheekbones. “It’s not a job any idiot could do.”

“No, just one idiot.”

The pirate’s mouth opens to respond but Jude is delighted when no words come out. It’s not often he manages to one-up someone in a verbal sparring match. He lets a smirk form over his face and it’s probably a good thing that Matias shows up at that moment because he is so tempted to tear this guy to shreds.

“Hey Marcos,” says Matias with a friendliness that meant he was not reading the tension in the air.

‘Marcos’ has to be the worst name Jude has ever heard.

“I see you’ve met Jude.”

The pirate narrows his eyes at Jude, a look of dislike clear on his face. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Charmed, I’m sure,” Jude says with an exaggerated bow and the look the pirate gives him said ‘murder’.

It’s definitely worth the look of confusion on Matias’s face.

---------------

“And then,” Marcos continues, because he isn’t even close to being done. “He goes on to talk to Matias as if they are best friends or something. Matias’s just being nice because he’s got a soft spot for losers.”

“And he’s friends with us because…” John supplies, which isn’t helpful, and Marcos glares at him to make sure he knows it. He’s slowly rotating a leg of mutton over a small flame, basting it every so often with a thin brown sauce. He’s always been able to multitask while cooking, even delivering devastating one-liners that have Marcos foaming at the mouth.

“The difference is Matias actually likes us,” he reasons, gesturing for emphasis. He’s leaning on the food cart that John is manning, taking advantage of the shade from the awning. It’s the tail end of Spring and the afternoons are already getting too warm for full costume. What the hell is he going to do in July?

“And there’s no way he can like this horse guy-- what was his name?”

“Jude,” Marcos says, rolling the name on his tongue with distaste. “What the hell kind of name is that?”

“He sounds pretty normal to me,” John says with an irritating amount of calm and reason. Marcos loves the guy, he really does, but being as close as brothers means that they are also completely honest with each other. John isn’t going to agree with Marcos out of friendship. He’s going to disagree with him out of love.

“Well, wait until you meet him,” Marcos says while crossing arms stubbornly over his chest. “Better yet, just avoid the stables and save yourself the trouble. He called us cosplayers, John!”

John looks down at himself, at his finely embroidered yellow tunic under a thick leather kidney belt, his loose, burlap pants, and tall brown boots. “We’re sort of cosplaying, dude.”

“As what, though, John?” Marcos says triumphantly. “Made up characters don’t count. I am Captain Fitzwilliam Cobalt of the galleon León, trolling the open seas for American gold and I have way too much backstory written to be reduced to a cosplay, man.”

“Listen, Marcos,” John says, actually putting down his baster for a minute and paying full attention to his friend. “I’m super stoked that you have gotten into this character so much and honestly I love your enthusiasm, but you can’t let one guy throw you off. If you are proud of your job then this sort of thing should roll off your shoulder. Not everyone is going to think of this job as glamorous, but we love it, right?”

As if on cue, a small cluster of girls approach the cart-- ‘real customers’, as John likes to call them. Marcos eyeballs them as roughly his age or slightly younger and quickly falls into character.

“My apologies, ladies,” he says with not quite an accent, but definitely a lilt to his voice that suggests a historic nobility. He adds a little bow that sends one of the girls into fits of giggles. “I was conversing with master Palamo. My friend, do treat these charming ladies to the best you have to offer.” He pushes himself away from the cart.

“How can I help you?” John adds with a smile that is almost as charming as Marcos’s act. The first of the girls looks bashful as she fishes in her shoulder bag for a wallet.

“I, uh, I’m looking for some corn?” She gestures awkwardly to the line of barbequed corn propped up on wooden sticks.

“Might I suggest a dusting of the princesses favourite seasoning?” John says with considerably less flirting than Marcos, but somehow coming off as 500 times more charming. “Honestly, it’s actually my favourite. Best on popcorn, but someone decided that popcorn wasn’t renaissance enough, I guess. Fun fact: popcorn was probably eaten by Aztecs thousands of years before the Europeans, so there’s that.”

“The History of Food, with John Palamo,” Marcos provides, leaning on the posts supporting the awning.

“I’d buy popcorn,” one of the girls pipes up before looking a little abashed that she had the nerve. A little smile cracks on her dark face, revealing pearly teeth.

“For a smile like that, I would gladly sail the oceans to the new world in search of popcorn,” Marcos adds, leaning close as if speaking in confidence. The girl blinks and presses her lips together with a little embarrassed grin.

The girls settle on barbecued corn on the cob, exchanging money and smiles before falling into excited giggles as they wandered away from the cart.

“Admit it, dude,” John says, going back to basting his mutton. “You love this job.”

“Bitch, do I ever.”

TO BE CONTINUED

#original short story #original mlm story #romance fiction #mlm romance

0 notes