Kill Me Hardly (Ch. 1)

Summary: You weren’t dead, but you weren’t fully alive. After a whole year of solitude, seeing your family mourn for your comatose state, and seeing the disembodied figures of other but silent spirits, you were hoping that your suffering would end. What’s this? Somebody could finally see you? Oh, he’s looming over a battered officer, bloodied wallet held tightly within his hand, staring straight at you with malice.  

 Thank You, once again, @youtubequeens, or Rita, for brainstorming the plot with me on this fic~! She helped me with the plot, ideas, and thirst for angst and fluff, yet the written gore and grim stuff is on me, folks, my friend is innocent, and her blog doesn’t have any violent nor terrible things like the stuff that’s in the fic.  

This fic has a lot of angst and it just fills our need for suffering. Heed the warnings, please. Reader’s a lil’ shit to the only one who can see her, and Tai’s a tsundere villain who kinda (a lot) wants to kill her, but doesn’t know where she is. Mainly angst and horror.

Warnings not in order and can be triggering: Angst! Villain! Fatgum (he does not so nice things in this one, sorry folks), too much cussing, mentions of murder, attempted murder, murder, seeing dead people, descriptions of gore, dark thoughts, loneliness, accepting the thoughts of death (reader’s a ghost), hopelessness, and a lot of things that is possibly triggering to some audiences. If you want straight up fluff, I have other fics, Thank You.

………..

  It’s always been the same since last year. You would float near your body, waving your hand in front of the thin, grisly, sad excuse of a human being that your soul had once fully inhabited. Now you were literally a ghost of your old self, your heart tearing into pieces at the sight of stricken faces of grief from those who had visited you. You could speak to them, but they could never hear, nor see you.

  At first, crying would be an understatement. You clutched your chest, sobbing with heart that felt shattered as your form wracked with grief. You repeated the same words in a mantra as your mother looked upon your body with her own expression of pain and loss, clutching your father’s hands as he mimicked the atmosphere. Your brother was nowhere to be found, you clenched your teeth, feeling very angry as the heartbeat on the monitor remained the same, slow beat.

In limbo. Not fully dead, but not fully alive, either, it was your state of existing. At first, you were terrified of the others, seeing broken, bloody bones peek from underneath torn skin, white, ashen eyes stared into nothing as they drolled along the hallways of the hospital, forever in a time that they only knew existed as they paid nobody nor anything else any mind as the ones who couldn’t see them, walked through them. Every time one would loll past you, you hid, not daring to let one of those things touch your own ghostly appearance.

 Your body was slowly but surely healing, the wound that had been violently afflicted from your neck to your clavicle, was bandaged up neatly, healing at it’s own pace, while you had to endure the nasty, raw and bloodied version on your ghostly appearance. It didn’t hurt physically like you thought it would, but it was a constant reminder of betrayal, mixed with shock and disbelief.

Day by day, you’ve gotten more acquainted with the raw, hurtful loneliness. Nobody could see you, other ghosts couldn’t talk to you, and you had to bear witness to not only the grief of your family slowly losing hope, but as well other families watching their loved ones on death beds. It was sickening, sad, and you wished that you were finally dead. It didn’t matter, whether it be heaven or hell, you wanted everything to stop.

You could travel outside, you discovered. There was no limit from how much your soul could travel without your body, you tried. Although you didn’t mind the distance, you didn’t want to be too far gone from your main hot spot. Of course, nobody else from the outside could see you, either. Animals could sense you, you thought with a final thought of relief as you decided to make your way to the zoo. They could not see you, but they knew that you were there, and unfortunately, it caused them to be in a state of unrest at the supernatural entity that in which was you, lingered.

……..

A year has passed. Your parent’s and other family member’s visits had dwindled down to a dead stop, as the police kept looking for your ever elusive traitor of a brother. It took a while for you to get use to the nightmares. Even as a spirit, you could still sleep, apparently. You didn’t like to, though.

Images kept flashing through your head of the knife glinting in the moonlight, the cold, passive stare of your blood-relative as he raised the weapon of choice down onto your throat. You let out a scream, jolting awake, shaking with tears dripping down, you hiccuped, wanting to vomit as you felt cold and empty, frantically gripping your throat as you laid next to your body. You wanted to grasp it’s throat, and squeeze, you couldn’t help but think as your hand faded through the pulse point of it’s neck.        

 It never gotten better. There was no hero for you to call, and you were seemingly forever at a stalemate in between the fate of life and death. It wasn’t fair, you thought bitterly as you could almost feel the insanity crawling inside your thoughts like crickets.

 It was a beautiful October night, with the full moon looming overhead, illuminating the darkened alley ways of the concrete jungle. You usually stayed by your body, at night, not really interested in the nightly crimes that you just so happened across, regularly. You always felt exhausted and terrified because you couldn’t do anything. The violent actions and behaviors triggered your own memories, you shivered in disgust.

Tonight, it was different. You had an odd feeling. A gurgled groan echoed from one of the alleys, snapping your attention to the sound. It never helped when you investigated, not being able to alert the police, who also couldn’t notice you, and you would usually stare with helplessness as the scenes unfurled.

“I’ll teach ya, ya greedy fuckin’ bastard!” An angry huff followed suit minutes after, and you felt your curiosity peak as you floated on towards the darkened area. Was it a gangster this time? The gruff voice had an unusual American twang to the normal Japanese accent, and despite your better judgment, you felt oddly comforted by it. Maybe you were losing your sanity, after all, you thought with mirth.  

Your eyes widened with surprise as you finally neared the situation. It wasn’t surprising that the man was holding a bloody wallet to his hand, sneering down at the unconscious police officer, no. It was the man himself who surprised you. Dark orange hoodie, black mask, darkened jeans, and black leather gloves covered the giant of the bara-like villain of the man. Fatgum, the large, yet elusively most-wanted villain in Osaka.

Although the murderous gang he was acquainted with had disappeared, he was more of a notorious violent thief who preyed upon well-known targets, now. He couldn’t see you, you thought, but it still sent chills down your spine at the thought that he was a ruthless, violent murderer.  

Yet, you were a ghost. Time seemed to stop as  his attention in what seemed to be a millisecond, snapped towards you, and the two of your eyes widened with surprise. It couldn’t be, could it? After a whole year of nothing glancing your way, finally, you felt the intense stare of a person noticing you. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, because yes, somebody finally noticed you and could see you, but it was a notorious villain with a violent streak.

If there was a god or spiritual deity who ruled over humans, they appeared to feed on your suffering.

“What’s this? The fuck ya doin’ outta the hospital, lil’ woman? The fuck’s up with yer wound, eh? And why the fuck are ya out in dark alleys, creepin’ up on criminals?” His eyes glinted within the moonlight, bright orange staring you down with a look mixed with disbelief, amazement, and pure confusion as he took in your gown clad form and bloody scar.

“You can see me?” Blurted out of your mouth, and his expression stilled, before letting out a sleazy grin followed by a bellow of laughter.  

“A lil’ too early to dress up for Halloween, ain’t it, Sugar? Heh, fuck. I really didn’t want any witnesses.”

He stepped towards you, and you instinctively stepped back as he closed the distance between the two of you. He couldn’t hurt you, you knew better, but it was the way how he was doing it. Images of your brother flashed through your mind, the cold, slinking feel of the knife jutting into your skin had made your eyes squeeze shut.

“Now, now, Princess,” He cooed mockingly as he stood directly in front of you, letting you take your time to really look at him. He was a few inches away from your face, leaning down to make sure that he was eye-level with you as he offered a false smile.

“How ‘bout you go back to whatever party that yer from, an’ pretend that this is all a lil’ nightmare in the mornin’, hm? Don’t wanna live a real one, don’tcha?” He grinned.

A nightmare? This was a nightmare! Yet, however, a thought clicked in your mind. It was a quick, fleeting thought, but it struck a cord within you.

“It’s a shame that the only one who can see me, is a villain.” You huffed, and his eye twitched.

“Pardon? I’m basically givin’ you an out, an’ yer gonna continue with yer dumb costume charade? Ya ingrate!” He growled out, slamming one of his hands against the brick wall next to your head. You couldn’t help but flinch, but you felt momentarily reckless and stupid, and really wanted to finally talk to somebody.

“I’ve been living my own nightmare for a year, Fat-chan. If you could find a way to send me away, please do. Until then,” You felt an uncharacteristic grin take over your features as you boldly reached up, letting your hand fade through his face. His eyes widened comically in sheer disbelief, a look that trumped his earlier look of shock, and you felt triumphant. “I’m going to haunt you.”

“The fuck you are! Who are ya! How!? I am gonna kill ya, again, ya demonic gremlin!” He growled out, punching the wall that was behind you, and you looked at his arm fazing through your abdomen. Good choices weren’t really in your state category of mind, right now, but you honestly couldn’t care, less.

“I’m a ghost, not a gremlin. I need to find my brother, and I think you know who and where.”

“I’m not helpin’ the ghost of Christmas Ass, less an actual fuckin’ ghost! What the fuck?” He was panicking, staring straight down at you with a disbelieving frown marring his features, chest rising and falling quickly as he further took your form in. You frowned, before thinking.

Sure you’d thought he’d panic, but not like this.

“Calm down. I was panicking at first when I found out that my own body was lying beside me. If I can handle it, surely you can, Mr. Villain Murderer.” You shrugged as you gave him that name. He stared at you and your wound, letting your words sink in as he didn’t budge.

“I’m talkin’ to a fuckin’ ghost.”

“Rather loudly, too. Hope your friend doesn’t wake up.” You admitted, pointing to the stirring cop.

“Shit!” He let out, and bolted. You followed him effortlessly, cutting through walls as you floated behind his racing form.

“Stop fuckin’ following me!” He hissed, panting as he leered at you from the side of a dumpster.

“I told you, I’m going to haunt you.” You pointed out.

“Annoyin’ as shit. The fuck’s up with ya? Follow somebody else!” He whispered.

“You’re the only one who can see me, though. So, no. I’m going to do whatever I want to do, anyway, so all you’re doing right now, is wasting time beside smelly garbage.” You quipped, earning you an ugly, seething scowl.

        “This isn’t happening.” He muttered underneath his breath, staring at you with the same wide-eyed shock mixed in with a common annoyance.

“You’ll get use to it. Think of it as penance for your crimes, or something. I’m feeling elated that I finally get to talk to somebody.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” He threw up his hands, trying to ignore you as you basically followed his grumbling, muttering form. You didn’t need to say anything, feeling your own shock and surprise that you did that. To a known villain, who couldn’t lay a finger on you.

Your thoughts lingered on the possibility of him killing you. Nobody truly wanted to die, but you felt that he’d be doing you a service. It was a gruesome thought, but you were already sort of dead, anyway.

“Twenty percent chance of waking up.” The doctor’s words echoed within your head as you looked back on the memory. The grief inflicted on their faces, haunted you more than any efforts that you could make. You had plenty of time to think, after all. A year in thoughts, nightmares, and ideas filtered through you as you realized things that you’ve once missed.

Your brother’s cold exterior worsening as you made it towards college, you paying little to no attention to his behavior as your grades skyrocketed, and your parents began to obviously favor you more. It wasn’t your fault that he acquainted himself with the wrong crowds of people. The known drug addicts, street fights, and illegal dealings had made himself an outcast from your family.

You half minded the tree of the man who you had decided to pin yourself to. Maybe being alone wasn’t the best choice, but it was the smartest choice. If you did wake up after surviving such a feat, this villain could easily take your life away from you. Yet. You were hungry to just talk to somebody, feel their stare as they listened to you, and actually talking back. A starved dog was a desperate dog, you thought with ill humor. He could entertain you for a while, until fate had gripped it’s claws back into you.

“This is the place. Listen here, ya lil’ wench, I’m not hostin’ Casper an’ all of yer other friends, Capiche?” He seemed to calm down as he all but accepted his fate as he stopped in front of a seemingly nice apartment complex. You were surprised that it wasn’t worn down, but it made sense, since that he was a thief.

“Fine by me. I’ll sleep on the couch.” You said, and he gave you a look.

“Ghosts can fuckin’ sleep?”

“Surprised me, too.”

“What the fuck. Ya better not do other shit, such as be inside of my body, ye fuckin’ parasite.” He growled, and you let out a grin.

“Not without your consent, first.” Slipped out of your mouth without hesitation.

At this, he choked on his own spit with surprise, giving you an incredulous look.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“A gho-

“Don’t be a smart-ass. Shit, the only company I have had in over a decade, an’ it’s a fuckin’ dead person.” He growled, unlocking the door, slipping inside before slamming it closed on your surprised face. His outburst didn’t matter to you, but the fact that he let an important part of himself slip so easily, did. You couldn’t help the thoughts swirl into your head.

Was he lonely as you were?

You entered without knocking, noticing that the place was rather neat, yet it smelled awful. Like cigarettes. He sat down at the kitchen table, huffing the white stick as the embers glowed a bright red, glaring up at you, as if challenging you to say something. You floated to the seat in front of him, focusing on your spiritual energy to seat yourself.

“You’re lonely.”

He blew the smoke in your face. Although you had no lungs to cough, you wafted the nasty smell away from you.

“Yer a busy-body stalker who should mind her own fuckin’ business.”

“I have no other business to mind, really. I’m just waiting for fate, I guess.” You shrugged. He eyed you, taking you in silence as you could see the wheels basically turning in his head.

“So, if I help ya pass into the light, or whatever, you’ll forever leave me the fuck alone?” The question caught you off guard as you stared at him. That’s right, he didn’t know that you weren’t fully dead.

“I’m in limbo.”

“Limbo?”

“In between life and death. I have to wake up, or die.” You finished. He set his cigarette down, eyeing you with a blank look as he finally took time to take your wound in.

“Somebody did that to ya, huh? Yer in comatose.”

He was keen, you admitted. You decided that you liked that of your “host”.

“You’re correct.”

“Ya...mentioned a brother, earlier?”

“Correct.”

You jumped as he then slammed his fist harshly against the table, the violent action harshly contradicting his curious behavior. Wide-eyed, you stared at him as a dangerous, churning glint lit up his eyes as he grit his teeth in a snarl. It was unlike his previous expressions, and it worried you.

“Look, I might not like ya, an’ I’m toyin’ with the chance of killin’ ya myself, but...fuck! That’s dirty an’ shitty. Yer own family comin’ at ya like that? Bastard couldn’t do the job properly?” He hissed out, and you felt a bit of tears well in your eyes. Quickly, you wiped them away as he continued to be in his own little spell of pure anger. It was the first time that somebody was angry for you after the incident, you thought. After everything, all you could see was your parent’s grief and sadness, the pitying looks from strangers as your face appeared on the news. Then it dwindled to a winter-like still. Life moved on without you.

“Tch. It’s not my business, though. I gotta long lists of hits, this week, an’ I don’t need a sad ass ghost story to chase after.” He huffed in irony, yet it was as if you could see through him. He was hurting, too, but not from your pain. Something like your story had rubbed him the wrong way, and it was as if the information had dawned on you.

“Then this sad little ghost story will follow you. I have a feeling that in both of our cases, misery likes company.” You admitted, and his eyes turned towards you with realization that you were still there.

“Yer smarter than I thought. I can probably have use of you, yet. Tell ya what, you help me, an’ I’ll help you. Ya want’im murdered?” He asked, hinting at your brother. The way he was pinning you down with a look, gave away something that he wasn’t saying, yet you had a feeling that he was daring you to tell him yes.

“No.” You opted instead, and to your surprise, he blinked at you, trying to hide a look of oddly placed relief. So he was laying a trap for you, and you deflected it.  

“I want him found, and dealt with the authorities. I...he’s still my brother. It’s shitty what he did, I know, and it’s tough to acknowledge the obvious truth, but...I want him to get help. See what he’s done, regret it. Move on.” Your words spilled out as Fatgum’s attention was pinned onto your mournful expression.

“Ya’re weak. Too fuckin’ forgiving. He’s not gonna get help, he’s gonna resent those around ‘im, an’ stay a childish brat.” He spat out, and your eyes widened.

“How do you know?” You all but snapped, and he grinned, but there was no light nor humor to it.

“’Cause I’ve seen and dealt with the same fuckin’ thing for years. I’m one of ‘em.” He admitted it so casually, yet there was an edge to it at the last part of the sentence, something that you couldn’t exactly place.

“I don’t think it’s never too late. I wonder if he regrets it. If he’s grieving.” You let out softly, hands on your cheeks as your thoughts focused solely on your brother. Fatgum’s huff made you snap your attention back towards him.

“I’m going to bed. Can’t believe I’m talkin’ to a fuckin’ ghost as if it’s a frickin’ therapy session.” He changed the subject.

“I mean, you and I both could probably use a few classes.” A grin found it’s way to your face, and he rolled his eyes.

“Go to sleep. See ya in the mornin’, I guess.” He stood up, squishing the cigarette deep in the ashtray as he scowled.

“Night, Fat-chan.” You hummed, and he looked at you.

“No sense in that shit. Ya can call me Taishiro. Don’t make a fucki-”

“Night, Tai-chan!” You beamed.

“-ng nickname- oh what the hell ever. Night-”

You gave him your first name, interrupting him, once again.

“-shitty ghost. Ugh.” He opted instead, walking into the direction of his bedroom. You didn’t follow him. Instead, you respected his privacy, just this once as you floated onto the clean couch. This was happening, the thoughts had whirled inside your head as you still felt a little in shock. It was as if it was a fever dream in which you couldn’t escape, and instead, you dragged somebody else with you.

Granted he was a villain with a bad choice of habits and words, yet, you couldn’t really fully hate him. He intrigued you, you thought. Rough around the edges, yet oddly merciful and open to a complete stranger. Well, it wasn’t as if you could tell anybody, and if you did, what was he going to do about it? He didn’t know your body’s location. He knew this, and decided to perhaps play along to your little game, you thought.

It didn’t matter. You were going to get to the bottom of this, and hopefully, just maybe, fate can finally make a decision on your fading life.

………

Notes: This will be more than one chapter, I’ll add more when I can!  

I could’ve sworn I posted the first part of this whole ficlet, but I went through my Phoenix Enchantment AU tag and couldn’t find it, so I added some more to it and decided to finally post it.  What is it?  It’s the fallout of this ficlet, in which Stan and Angie get stuck at a zoo for months on end, including mating season.  I couldn’t come up with a title for this, but a decent one would be “Angie’s Pissed”, because damn, Angie is pissed.  Anyways, enjoy.

              “Have fun with yer friends,” Fiddleford called after Tate.  Tate nodded.  “Call when ya want to get picked up.”

              “Pa, chill, I know!” Tate groaned.  He got into his friend’s car.  Fiddleford sighed and closed the front door.  After a moment, he raised his voice again.

              “Okay, he’s gone!”  There was immediately a series of loud thuds from the attic, along with muffled voices. Fiddleford looked at Ford.  “Are ya ready fer a scoldin’?”  Ford rubbed the top of his right ear, which was heavily bandaged.

              “I’ve already gotten one.”

              “No, ya haven’t,” Fiddleford said firmly.  Footsteps thundered down the stairs.  Stan stormed over to Ford.

              “What the fuck was that about, huh?” Stan rumbled.  “You left us in that zoo for months, and it wasn’t a life-or-death situation?”

              “It was-” Ford started.  Stan grabbed Ford’s shoulders.

              “Stanford, do you have any clue how terrifying it was to see Emmett’s egg? Small and gray and- and obviously not right!  And then he hatched, and got goddamn pneumonia before he was a week old!”

              “Stanley-”

              “We were on display during mating season, Poindexter.  We got poked and prodded by people who thought we were dumb birds, and Emmett- Emmett didn’t grow right.”  Stan’s voice lowered.  “Angie was so fuckin’ stressed, I was so fuckin’ stressed, it’s a miracle we’re not completely bald.  Hell, it’s a miracle our son is even alive.” Angie, who had arrived at some point during Stan’s rant and was holding their infant son, walked over to Stan.

              “Stanley,” she said softly, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Stan sighed and let go of Ford. Angie handed Emmett to Stan.  Stan smiled weakly at his son.  Abruptly, Angie slapped Ford across the face as hard as she could.  “You fuckin’ bastard,” Angie snarled.  Stan’s jaw dropped.  “I can handle embarrassment, bein’ examined by my former coworkers, all that nonsense. But ya put my child’s life in danger. I’ve been blamin’ myself ever since Emmett’s egg got laid, since it was my stress what made him so weak and small. But yer the one what didn’t let the stress end.  Yer the one what left us in that zoo.”

              “Angie-” Ford started.

              “You didn’t call anyone!  You called the zoo, asked fer us to stay longer, that was it!  Ya didn’t even know we had a new chick until ya came to pick us up! It’s shameful.  Yer a father.  Show some fuckin’ responsibility,” Angie spat.  Ford stared at her.  “I know you blame yourself fer us bein’ phoenixes.  I ain’t blind; I can see it in how ya try yer hardest to keep us happy. Here’s the thing.  Ya have no blame in that.  Stop feelin’ guilty over it.  Instead, show some remorse and forethought into things ya do have control over!”  Angie grabbed Ford’s shirt and stood on her tiptoes to peer into his face.  “The zoo was one of those things.  We agreed to bein’ on display fer a few weeks.  We explicitly told ya that we didn’t want to be there durin’ matin’ season.  You ignored that,” she growled.  “Now you get to live with the fact that yer nephew is stunted and weak. Because of yer actions.”  She let go of Ford’s shirt.  Ford took a step back.  Angie spun around.  “Fiddleford, yer not blameless, neither.  How Stanford convinced ya, I don’t know.  But you didn’t do anything to mitigate his actions.  Ya may not have as much blame, but a good chunk of it is yours.”

              “That’s- Angie, don’t go overboard,” Stan said weakly.

              “Ever since I laid Emmett’s egg, I’ve been blamin’ myself,” Angie snapped. “It’s high time the folks at fault got blamed fer it.”  She stormed away.  The front door opened and slammed shut.  Stan looked at Fiddleford and Ford, who were visibly shaken.  He held up his son.

              “So, uh, yeah, this is Emmett,” Stan said.  “He, uh, it turns out he’s a polydactyl like Molly and Daisy.”

              “That’s nice,” Ford mumbled.  He grabbed blindly for a chair and collapsed into it.  “Was it actually that bad?”

              “Yeah, it was,” Stan said in a low voice.  “Angie worked herself up so much the zoo had to close the exhibit for a while.  If she didn’t have a supportive person around, she fell to pieces.  And at the zoo, I was the only supportive person she had.” Stan swallowed.  “It was rough on me, but way worse on her.  Even worse than when we had Molly.”

              “Did she really blame herself?” Fiddleford asked quietly.  Stan sighed.

              “What do you think, Fidds?  You know how your fam’ly gets.  Of course she blamed herself.  It didn’t help that the zookeepers kept sayin’ things like ‘gestational stress’ and ‘result of mother’s ill health’ when they talked about Emmett.”  Emmett squirmed in Stan’s arms.  “She’ll start calming down once the girls get here. She’s excited for them to meet Emmett.”

              “He is a cutie,” Fiddleford said with a shaky smile.

              “Yeah.  Like his sisters and mom,” Stan agreed.  “But you guys should, y’know, be careful for a little while.  The only reason I’m not angry right now is ‘cause Angie sorta ruined it.  She sucked all the angry outta the room when she started swearing.  I’m gonna get angry again, though.  Ford, don’t go upstairs for a couple weeks.”  Ford nodded silently.  “Fidds, stay away from the nest for a while.  Neither of you are allowed to hold Emmett until after the girls get here.”

              “Understandable,” Fiddleford mumbled.

----- 

              Tate waved goodbye to his friends as they drove away after dropping him off at home.  He put his hands in his pockets and strode up to the house, whistling.  His ears picked up on faint sobbing coming from the side of the house.  He changed direction, following the sound.  As he walked into view, he frowned at the source of the crying.

              “…Auntie Angie?” he asked.  Angie looked up.  She had been sitting on the ground, leaning against the side of the house while she cried. She hurriedly wiped her cheeks.

              “Tater Tot, good to see ya,” she croaked.  Her voice creaked, like it had been a while since she’d used it.  Tate joined her on the ground.  She smiled fondly at him.  “Ya get bigger each ‘n ev’ry day.”

              “I’m a teenager,” Tate said with a shrug.  He cocked his head.  “Why were you cryin’ just now?”

              “Oh, nothin’ fer you to be worried ‘bout.”

              “Auntie, please,” Tate said.  Angie shook her head.  “Come on, please talk to me.  I don’t get to see ya much.”

              “If ya must know…” Angie sighed.  She looked away.  “You ‘member why yer uncle and I couldn’t watch ya while yer fathers were occupied with their research, right?”

              “Yeah.  You and Uncle Stan were expecting your next kid, and didn’t need to watch me on top of it.”

              “Exactly.”

              “Speakin’ of, where’s my new cousin?”

              “Emmett’s inside, bein’ showed off to yer fathers.”  Angie rubbed her eyes.  “He was…difficult.”  Tate’s heart plummeted.  He’d heard that rough pregnancies seemed to run in the family; Angie was herself an emergency C-section.

              “Is- is he all right?”

              “The doctors say he got through the worst of it, so it should be smooth sailin’.” Angie took a breath.  “But he was rough on me, and my mental state was rough on him, and he’s- he’s smaller than yer other cousins, and weaker.”  She shook her head.  “It’s just been a stressful time.  I could’ve used some support from yer pa, but yer dad convinced him to do that Manotaur thing, so Stan was the only one there fer me-”

              “What about Grannie and Grampie Gucket?”

              “They were busy, too.”

              “Too busy fer you when you were struggling?”

              “Tate, sweetie,” Angie choked out.  She pressed the palms of her hands to her forehead.  “I shouldn’t have told ya what I did.  I sure ain’t goin’ to tell ya more.  Yer pa wouldn’t be happy.”

              “But-”

              “Just go inside, say hi to yer new cousin.  I get the feeling you two ‘ll get along like a house on fire.”

              “But-”

              “I’m not jokin’,” Angie said in a warning tone.  Tate swallowed.  Most of his McGucket relatives didn’t seem completely serious when their tones became threatening.  But Angie had always seemed like there was real bite behind her words.  She didn’t posture.  She followed through on warnings.

              “Okay,” he said quietly.  He got up. “Once yer done cryin’ outside, though, I think Pa would like to talk with ya.  I’m sure he feels bad he couldn’t be there fer you.”

              “Just go inside, Tate,” Angie said.  Her voice was hollow.

              It’s like she used up all her emotions and can’t feel anymore.  Tate nodded silently.  He walked away and entered through the front door.  Faint crying emanated from the living room.

              “C’mon, Emmett,” Stan’s voice said tiredly.  “Stop cryin’.  When your mom gets back, we can give you some food and put you down fer a nap, but until then-”  Tate walked into the living room.  Stan looked up.  “Hey, kiddo.”

              “Hi, Uncle Stan.”  Tate joined Stan on the couch.  He peered at his new cousin, nestled in Stan’s arms.  “This is Emmett?”

              “Yep,” Stan said.  Emmett continued to wail.  “He’s a looker when he’s not screamin’.”

              “Yeah, he seems a bit fussy.”

              “I think he misses his mom,” Stan said.  He looked down at Emmett.  “But she stormed outta here a coupla hours ago after slapping Ford, and I don’t know where she went.”

              “She’s outside.”

              “What?”  Stan looked at Tate.  “She’s outside?”

              “Yeah.  I talked to her a bit when I got back.”  Tate rubbed the back of his neck.  “She was cryin’, so…”

              “She’s crying?” Stan asked.  He swore under his breath.  “Okay, I’ve gotta go talk to her.”

              “Is- is Auntie Angie all right?” Tate asked timidly.  Stan let out a heavy sigh.

              “No, she isn’t.  But she’ll get there.  We both will.”

              “…You’re not all right, either?”

              “Tate…”  Stan shook his head.  “Look. Your pa would flip if I told you the real reason Angie and I are so pissed at your dads.”

              “Why?”

              “I can’t get into this,” Stan said abruptly.  He handed Emmett to Tate and stood.  “Your dads don’t want us to tell you, and my wife is crying outside. Just- hold onto Emmett for a bit, okay? Once Angie’s calmed down, we’ll head home.”

              “O-okay,” Tate stammered.  Stan strode out of the living room.  Tate heard the front door open and close.  He looked down at his infant cousin.  Emmett had stopped crying and was staring at him with wide, brown eyes.

              Auntie Angie and Uncle Stan were always a bit weird, like most people in the family.  But I swear, each year, they get more and more eccentric.

              “You’re not gonna be as weird as ‘em, are ya?” Tate asked Emmett quietly. Emmett stared at him silently.  “Don’t worry, I’ll help ya stay relatively normal. Us boys gotta stick together.”

its   about   that   time  !!  lemme  finally   introduce   you   to   my   newly   developed   muse  who   you   should   keep   an   eye   out   for.  :))))   sorry   this   took   forever   for     me   to   write  ...  ya  girl  was  getting  his   shit  together.  his  profile  can  be  found  HERE  !! plot with me on discord if you want to

gonna make this short & sweet since ... i cant write all of a sudden ??

he was born into the oh family as a blessing. ae-ra and dongchan were trying for a baby since they first got married but they never made it. however, it was when they stopped bothering with trying that made their little bean appear?? uGH ! dongchan’s sperm mind...

aNYWHO ! they’re legit politicians who are sooo down to earth. they care so much about city of changwon.

hyunjae wasn’t spoiled like any other rich kid. his parents still made him work for what he wanted to show him that no one is gonna hand you greatness on a silver platter. he appreciated this lesson til this day.

unlike his father, dongmin, his uncle, was not the best guy to be around. the eldest male was known as a scam artist and a thief. it shocked citizens to find out that dongchan was related to such a scumbag.

still, no matter how many times ae-ra’s side of the family protested that he should be nowhere near their priced possession, the crook was always included in hyunjae’s life. birthdays, talent shows, sport games, all that good stuff. sometimes he was there more than his actual parents since they were busy dealing with improving the city.

since being a baby, hyunjae would be attached on dongmin’s hip anytime the male was out of the city. his parents never knew about this bc the boi was shady af & they even let him BREATHE in the same direction as their baby boy if knowing what he was doing.

hyunjae was around six when he overheard a conversation with his father with his uncle that resulted in a fist fight. he didn’t hear much but he did catch that that his father was sick of his uncle being irresponsible and so fucking stupid. #mood

after that he barely sees his uncle anymore. it made him kinda sad but it put less stress on his parents.

from 6 - 10, HONEY, the nickname he doesn’t dare speak of that his grandmother gave him, was a sweet child. liked watching crime shows and reading sherlock novels. sometimes stole candy.

life changed drastically when his parents were celebrating their 5 year anniversary a month after he turned 11. they dropped him off at his grandmother’s place and went out to dinner. they said they would pick him up in the morning and spend the day with him at the zoo.

a day turned into a two. two turned into five. five turned into a week and a half.

it was like they vanished in thin air. & it didn’t help that when the police were contacted, they couldn’t find a single thing relating back to them. they only had the car they were in, which was parked at their home yet they weren’t there. nothing indicating that something bad happened since nothing was out of place. no signs of force entry either. so a missing person’s case was filed.

not knowing what to do, his grandmother took him in only to have his uncle snatch him away. in dongmin’s defense, the woman was too old to walk let alone take care of a child.

so he raised him to a fine teen. sport jocky, multilingual, all that nonsense. 

teen!hyunjae was living his life like it was golden until he came across an interesting phone call between his uncle and some man on the phone. suddenly they were traveling to seoul and meeting some guy who was not happy. in the end, he witnessed a whole new side of his uncle & boy did that fuck him up.

dongmin knew the kid was baffled by his actions and not by hid words ( as he locked him in the car while talking to his client ). so he decided to get him into the world his parents’ wanted him away from. the world of gangs!

first off, nO, it wasn’t in his intentions to get him involved with the gang. but hyunjae was smart af and could do more than some of the members did sooo

he was sixteen around this time. now he was balancing high school, being a negotiator and translator, and keeping the public outta his business after the news of his parents’ case going cold hit the screen.

nearing 18, he was introduced to drugs. narcotics, cocaine, lsd, you name it. they started letting him count the product and bag it up. this then led to him organizing routes and finally being 1/2 of the top people handling it.

shockingly he never really  ... learned the gang’s name ??? like his uncle was just like “yo, do this my intellectual nephew” and hyunjae was like “..yah!”

so it was not surprising when he was cleaning up his uncle’s penthouse and came across a box he’d never saw before. he didn’t want to snoop as it was an invasion of privacy but y’know how that went

inside laid his mother’s sky blue purse, his father’s rolex, and his mother’s golden locket that she never took off. these items were what was last seen on them before they disappeared.

NOW HE MAD LMAOOO

he played it cool until he turned 20. he was a year away from graduating from uni, but boy was he a changed man inside. he shitted over everyone to get to a high position in said gang, JUST to turn them all in on his graduation day. he sat far from the building and watching them get raided with police. sipping on his champagne bottle, he poured out the rest in honor of his parents.

because of this, the police force was hella impressed with his progress. they offered him a position as an undercover spy to take down more gangs but he declined at first. then it occurred to him that these people are literally ruining kids’ lives, him being one of them. it crushed him to think of other innocent people going through this so he accepted it.

now at 24, he’s still trying to figure out what exactly happened to his family. grandmother passed away due to heart failure, but that was then ruled out as her medication was increased unknowingly. his parents were a forgotten memory in changwon, which caused him to move to seoul. plus it was less expense than driving back and forth.

turns out, some of the members that was were in the gang he took down dispersed into other gangs with brings him to where he is now???

his lifetime achievement is to end gang activity, PERIODT. it’ll be the justice for his parents and for those who’s life was ruined because of it.

doesn’t care who he was to turn on nor what he has to do in order to succeed in this. his best method of fidning out information? befriending people or sleeping with them.

because he was taught the lifestyle, his mannerisms are fool proof. he’s gotten the secrecy down as well as the behavior he monitored from the old leader. so you can’t really tell he’s a spy unless you find something out of place in his condo.

a huge bi who loves puppies and 90′s movies. isn’t afraid to punch someone in the teeth for saying something stupid. sharp-tongued. aggressive and violent tbh.

obvs wanted connections are those who have ties with the old gang.

that’s all for now !!

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 119 - Picture books & Ass Grabbing

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit…. Look out for friendship and maybe something more…

MASTERLIST

Chapter 119 - Picture books & Ass Grabbing

[Negan realises that Mia and Blake are indeed a popular duo at the Sanctaury...but the dark-haired Saviour eventually manages to find some alone time with the pair.]

Everyone had been excited to see Mia back at the Sanctuary.

Everywhere Negan seemed to fucking turn that day, there they were, the dining hall, down at the marketplace, the goddamn hallways, workers and lieutenants alike, cooing at the kid and talking to Blake like she was their everything.

It was fucking obvious to him now that Peaches was revered in this place. Not in the way he was. When his men and women spoke to him, it was with fear and respect in their voices.

But to Peaches….they showed utter love and devotion. Even workers he had never even seen before, came crawling out of the woodwork the moment they caught sight of her, coming to say hello.

Negan had kept his distance at first, observing the way these people laughed and joked with her, touching her arm warmly as she chatted back to them completely lighting up every room she was in.

And the kid didn't do too badly either, acting as shy as she had been when she had first arrived at this fucking place to begin with, before realising that these people, unlike those dead pricks outside, were not here to do her any harm.

Negan had even caught the baby girl standing up on the benches in the dining hall at lunchtime, pointing at food she liked on peoples trays so fucking charmingly in-fact, that the poor-fuckin' sons of bitches were pushovers enough that they would quickly laugh and offer Mia whatever she wanted.

Negan admired that in her immensely, as he had left the room wordlessly, chuckling to himself as he had ran a hand over his bearded chin, swinging Lucille up onto his leather-clad shoulder as he went.

But as great as Blake and the kid being popular was, Negan had found himself getting kinda ansty and bored by mid-afternoon at the lack of attention he himself was getting from his favourite girl.

Usually he would have found Blake at least once today, placed her in a compromising position or two, the two of them barely able to keep their hands off of each other for long, and screwed her brains out already.

But with the kid now a permanent feature here in their lives, this enjoyable task was proving a little harder than Negan first had realised.

Even speaking to Blake today had proved to be tough enough, just about getting the chance to exchange a few teasing words with the blonde woman, before Mia had complained that she needed to go to the bathroom for the hundredth time.

And, waving his hands of all responsibility in that area, Negan had sloped off in a huff, as Blake and Mia had skipped away to do what ladies normally fuckin' did in bathrooms.

HIS  fuckin' bathroom again, no doubt!

And so it was late afternoon by the time the unusually cheerful and buzzing atmosphere of the Sanctuary had died down to a mere simmer, and Negan, pacing the long quiet hallways in search of the two women, had finally heard their voices, floating low and quiet down the echoing corridors of the drafty factory building.

Negan gave a wide grin to himself as he approached the door ahead of him now, swinging Lucille from his hand a little and bowing his head as he listened.

"And do you know what animal that is?" came the voice of Blake gently, in a tone contrasting the teasing one she usually reserved for speaking to him with.

There was small pause before the voice of Mia was heard.

"Tha..tha…I know tha is…" she said excitedly, sounding like she was wriggling about a little. "Tha donk! Tha donk!"

Negan heard Blake let out a small laugh.

"Yeah that's right, that's a donke-"

But Blake wasn't able to get through her entire sentence before Mia cut across her loudly.

"What tha won? I laik tha won!" she said as Negan took a couple of silent steps forward and peered around the doorway, his chocolate eyes finally settling on the pair of them.

The two ladies were sat in the library, both huddled together on the dusty floor with a large book propped open on Blake's lap, as Mia leaned over her, pointing with chubby little digits at whatever was in the large white book.

"That's a penguin," said Blake quietly, neither of the pair noticing Negan's presence in the doorway yet, as Mia fawned over the image in the book splayed out in front of her. "They like to live where it's very, very cold."

Mia gave a delighted squeal at this, peering at the page with great interest.

"Ca' we go see pengwen?" she asked placing her pudgy little hand to Blake's shoulder before clambering onto her lap.

But it was at this, that he saw Blake's eyes wash with a sort of sadness, that broke his heart to see.

Negan of course knew that it would be likely that Mia would never get to see a penguin in her lifetime.

Not only was travel near to impossible these days but the zoos were all but ruined, and the likelihood that there were even any penguins left on this continent was near unmanageable.

"Perhaps…someday…" Blake murmured in a quiet voice, as Mia gave a sudden yawn, rubbing at her tired eyes with her little fists.

It had obviously been a long day for her….for both of them in fact, judging by the way Blake's eyes blinked slowly as she let out a small puff of air.

But it was then that Negan, leaning in, causeda floorboard to creak beneath his boots, drawing both of the women's eyes to look his way, finally noticing his presence.

Blake offered him a warm, coy smile, that made him feel like he truly belonged here, warm and happy with her right beside him.

"Hey stranger," she purred out gently, wrinkling her nose as Mia scrambled to her bandy little legs, running towards him suddenly on small sock-covered feet.

"It Eggy!" she said in a slurred little voice, making grabby hands at him with her sticky hands. "Eggy, we gon' shee pengwen!"

Negan readjusting his grip on Lucille and rolling his eyes a little, obliged the toddler almost immediately, bending down and lifting her up into his arms with a stiff groan.

"That so?" the dark-haired man commented. "You plannin' on takin' a trip on those goddamn tiny legs of yours, beansprout? You bustin' outta this place? Huh?"

And with that, Negan made a grab for her tiny sock-covered foot, making the teeny girl squeal with delight.

"Noh Eggy, don' do tha!" she giggled, pawing at his leather-clad chest, her chubby fingers grasping hold of his zipper.

But Negan didn't relent, chuckling as he pressed his face close to hers, grazing his stubbly chin across her pudgy cheek.

"Noh Eggy tha tickuls!" she cried out, wriggling from his grasp and prising herself from him once more. until Negan was forced to set her down, watching as the laughing baby girl ran back toward Blake, who had gotten to her feet, large picture book tucked under her arm.

But the caramel-blonde woman looked a little strained now, giving a frown as she placed a hand to her head, wincing slightly and closing her eyes for the briefest of moments.

"You alright, Peaches?" Negan asked her almost instantly, standing up straight and staring over at the woman he loved, a dark and concerned look passing over his long features.

But she blinked a couple of times, offering him a flash of a smile.

"Yeah…I'm fine…just feeling a bit light headed is all…" she muttered.

Negan's gaze lingered on her for a long moment, hearing the lie in her voice, but he played it cool, clenching his jaw tightly, but carrying on as though nothing had happened.

"Well perhaps you're runnin' on empty, Darlin'," he growled, as Mia clutched Blake's hand with her tiny paw, before peering up at the dark-haired man. "It's a good fuckin' job I've arranged for some dinner to be brought up to my room then isn't it?"

At his words, Blake's stared up into his face, smiling at him warmly.

Fuck, it was good to be back with her here again….knowing that yesterday he could have lost her for good.

He was enamoured by her, this hurricane, who had appeared in his life, changing it for the better.

He was different man around her. Softer, more sympathetic….to them at least!

And Negan couldn't help but grin goofily as she and Mia slid past him hand in hand, heading out the door.

"Hmmm, it's about time we got room service, isn't it Mia?" the blonde woman uttered in a sarcastic tone, her eyes sparkling gleefully as she teased him. "You gonna serve it up on a silver platter too?"

But Negan gave a chuckle as he ran his tongue over his lips, eyeing her with awe.

And before Blake could let out another smart-mouthed comment, Negan's hand had clamped around Blake's jean-clad ass, giving it a hard and needy squeeze.

The blonde woman instantly stopped in her tracks abruptly, giving a sudden squeak and causing Mia to stare up at the pair in fright, as Negan leaned his lips in towards Blake's ear.

"Now baby, you have gotta stop with that damn attitude of yours…." he growled in a wolf-like manner, giving another low and throaty chuckle. "Because you're gonna make Daddy wanna eat something' else completely, Peaches…"

But he almost immediately caught Blake narrow her green eyes toward him, as she slowly looked his way.

She had obviously not been expecting this possessive act from him. But the dark-haired Saviour should have known better than to presume Blake would just let something like that, slide that easily.

"Well maybe, if Daddy delivers like he promised on dinner…" she purred in a delicious voice, taking this opportunity to press her cheek to his stubbly one, her lips finding his ear now, causing Negan's mouth to curve up into a wide grin. "Then maybe he can get what he wants for dessert."

But what Negan didn't notice was Blake's hand snake around his waist.

And it wasn't until Negan feet the short sharp slap of the large, hard-bound picture book colliding with his ass, did he raise both his dark eyebrows to the heavens in utter surprise, gazing at Blake as she smirked, pulling away from him.

"But I guess we'll have to see…." she murmured airily, strutting away and heading out into the hallway ahead of Negan, as Mia still clutching onto her hand tightly, peering up at Blake with great interest, wondering what she was missing.

And Negan was, for the first time in a long, long time, rendered utterly speechless….

….shaking his head in wonderment, and letting his chin drop to his collarbone as he let out a small laugh….

…before swinging Lucille back up onto his shoulder once more, and following his two favourite girls out of the door, and back up towards his room.

More in love with the blonde woman now, than he had ever been before.

Credit belongs to the gif owners.

Would you like to be tagged/untagged? Let me know, more coming soon… @collette04 | @attorneyl | @charoly | @princessmoonspunky | @mssharingisfun | @shimmerybutt | @yellatthetopofyourlungs | @daydreamsandchai | @onemorebeautifulnightmare | @arwa-alii | @letsdosciencekids | @maggiesourie | @blumenkind72 | @toloaughistolove | @alonna-oxoxox | @brebre149 | @baked-potatoes | @elinyaes | @jmackie1983 | @starbabysparkle | @christynjay | @mwesterfeld1985 | @letseatandsleep | @xxqueenofisolationxx| @lovesjdm | @uselessdarylblog | @soursuckers | @padmeisgay| @waddiwasi44 | @karlbourbonismyhero​ | @lfsbitencourt | @toxic-ink | @laaadygisbooornex3 | @cutiedaij| @warriorqueen1991 | @ask-kakashihatake | @haybuggle88 |  @beast-by-name | @cutiedaij | @ourtenderescapes   | @itstheamandashow | @side-xix-men | @adriannawiggins  | @dessie | @ariannaroba97 | @ivanna6026 | @soythedemonqueen | @lovelynerdytraveler | @joelssmugglingservice | @rissbennett | @kourtneyxgirl | @sophiestru24 | @intensemindorgasms | @jenn0755 | @nerdygirlwithacrush | @ali-in-fandomland | @littlesiskitten | @spn-mudkip | @neganismyobsession | @neganismyobsession| @ryantherandomhero | @masterpiece222 | @neganslilbitch | @theofficialduke | @baebi-bloo  | @xagateophobiax | @nu1freakshow | @simplysirius | @negan5589 | @blondielovesr5-blog | @ididntchoosethislife | @iashleyhood | @andreainfla618 | @yezzyzzz | @teaspent | @jessiellong1987 | @likearaindropfilledwithgoldust | @kristenallison04 | @vanilla-negan | @shannmiw | @depressed-teenagekids | @jamespotterisbae | @qhbr2013 | @uncharte-dlove | @nerdaspe | @thedeadwalks | @pizzaisrelationshipgoals| @kalista225 | @saved-by-fiction | @nerdywriter | @hayleighloatx | @miss-cap21 | @julietdanielle08 | @teamnegansaviors | @getlowharold | @christynjay | @haileyk2601 | @peoplealwaysleave89  | @nyakozhovur  | @theunwantedwriter | @kateyasher | @myrabbitholetoneverland | @topthis808 | @aenuloracaeram

85 statements about me

i was tagged by @qiuu-tong ty i love shit like this

last 1. drink - blueberry tea beer 2. phone call - i called my uni because i'm panicking about paperwork 3. text message - to my friend to answer a question about schoolwork we have 4. song you listened to - all i have to give by the backstreet boys IT'S ICONIC AND CLASSIC DON'T @ ME 5. time you cried - lowkey i watched the greatest showman recently and when they all performed as a circus for the first time i kinda maybe started crying ever 6. dated someone twice - nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it - nah regrets aren't my thing 8. been cheated on - probably not 9. lost someone special - yes, unfortunately. RIP gma nancy and jack you guys were amazing parts of my life and still amazing parts of my heart!!! 10. been depressed - lordy yes, been in some dark places 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - lmao yeah i drank an amount i knew i could handle BUT forgot i was totally sick not two days ago so my body was outta wack. it was nasty but my mom found me and was a complete pal about it fave colours 12. PINK 13. BLUE 14. UHHHHH GOLD OR LIKE SPRING SOFT GREEN in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - yes!! 16. fallen out of love - no!! 17. laughed until you cried - yes!! 18. found out someone was talking about you - my memory blows but i think so, yeah 19. met someone who changed you - not in any highkey way, maybe in some little ways but that's just life man 20. found out who your true friends are - i know who my people are 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - nope general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i don't really use my fb and i don't feel like looking forgive me. the amount that there is -2 or 3, probably 23. do you have any pets - YES i have my baby boy SIGMA, A SNAKE; i have my PUPPY, GUILDENSTERN; i have a collection of FINE, LARGE CHICKENS; and i have a cat with a serious bitchface, RAMSES 24. do you want to change your name - mmMMMMMMmm nah, like, i'd like other names better probably but my name is really tied to who i am for better or for worse. i'd totally change out my last name if i got married though 25. what did you do for your last birthday - i went to the zoo with my friend from northern ireland who visited me!!! at least i think that was last year lmao 26. what time did you wake up today - 9am I think?? i slept in 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - schoolwork. i'm working a lot these days... 28. what is something you can’t wait for - I'M GONNA GET TO DO AN ESCAPE ROOM WHEN I GO TO GENCON THIS YEAR I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO ONE 30. what are you listening to right now - siuil a run by celtic woman : D   31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - YES the father of my best friend growing up was named tom. he recently (ish, over a year ago?) passed away from his parkinson's so rest in paradise to him, too uu 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - someone i know no shade. if you're reading this don't worry it's not you lmao 33. most visited website - probably reddit or tumblr 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - short!! i've been loving having shoulder length hair 36. do you have a crush on someone - i carry no real thirst at the moment 37. what do you like about yourself - i'm really patient when handling people i think that's a good thing. stuff that'd get a rise outta a lot of other people i can deal with pretty well, i think 38. want any piercings? - i WISH i used to have some actually but i'm dangerously allergic to a common metal and i learned the very hard way that slipping up on that when you have piercings leads to bad experiences in a hospital!! 39. blood type - i actually don't know 40. nicknames - rae is actually a nickname teehee. people pretty much just call me that except my dad calls me lil bro i guess. 41. relationship status - wonshades 42. zodiac - gemini 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - fIREFLY and pushing daisies and a lot of others 45. tattoos - none right now but i'm planning to get one since my mom is a tattoo artist and somehow i still haven't had her give me one 46. right or left handed - SOUTHPAWS REPRESENT 47. ever had surgery - nope! 48. piercings - see #38 heehee 49. sport - i did gymnastics for a few years, i do martial arts now 50. vacation - i'm not a vacation person but i'd love to go to japan. last time i left ohio, i went to chicago for the monsta x concert. last time i went out of country was canada for a study abroad program in the same year 51. trainers - my running shoes are expensive but less expensive because i got them in an ugly wanted color that i think is perfect (H O T P I N K). i'm a runner so the shoes are imPORTANT, MAN more general 52. eating - i had pizza tonight i really want cheap chinese food right now 53. drinking - still drinking my blueberry tea beer want another but it's 11:40pm so that's not happening 54. i’m about to watch - series of unfortunate events s2 once i find the fuckin netflix password i wrote down 55. waiting for - the BBMAs i need to support my boys live (also it's a blast to watch them with my sister-in-law who i'm tagging <3) 56. want - attention and clothing 57. get married - yes yes yes i'd love to get married someday 58. career - i'm an english teacher which is exactly where i wanna be which is better 59. hugs or kisses - attention 60. lips or eyes - eyes but both are great 61. shorter or taller - somehow i always end up dating shorter people. i like my men sturdy. but i have no real preference on height 62. older or younger - close to my age in either direction 63. nice arms or stomach - sweats 64. hookup or relationship - relationships i'm not much of a hookup person 65. troublemaker or hesitant - trouble teehee have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - nope 67. drank hard liquor - yes 68. lost glasses - yes and i'm too blind to find them once i do 69. turned someone down - yep 70. sex on first date - nope 71. broken someone’s heart - yes 72. had your heart broken - oh god yes lol 73. been arrested - nope 74. cried when someone died - i don't actually remember for one instance but i know i didn't in the other. i was crushed though don't get me wrong the tears just done didn’t happen 75. fallen for a friend - oh god yes lol do you believe in 76. yourself - i try to! 77. miracles - yeah 78. love at first sight - it's never happened to me but i won't say i don't believe in it, it might be real for other people and i can't invalidate that 79. santa claus - THE SPIRIT OF SANTA CLAUS 80. kiss on a first date - if it seems like a thing to do why not 81. angels - yes, in a sense other 82. best friend’s name - L I S S A MY GIRL 83. eye colour - very brown 84. fave movie - the lotr trilogy 85. fave actor - probably tim roth i love tim roth like a lo t and i don't really know why but shoutout to tatiana maslany for being the actual goddess of acting

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i’m tagging @freohrdatia, @pyrrhesia, @roymblog, and @pastelroseprincess and anyone else who sees this who wants to!!