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#The first church of Sickos
be careful you guys, there are sickos out there that memorize ciphers, alphabets, and writing systems for fun. and they LIKE it
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morganbritton132 · 11 months
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Can just picture Eddie posting videos from back in the 80’s and everyone going so wild thirsting for Steve that Eddie starts feeling some type of way even though that’s his husband lol
Eddie has never been insecure about his relationship.
Don’t get him wrong though.
It is annoying when you’re closeted in your hometown and have to watch girl after girl shoot their shot with your boyfriend. It is irritating when you take your boyfriend to his first gay club and every five minutes someone tries to interrupt you dancing with him to try to grind on your boyfriend. It is borderline rude when you’re married and on a date, and your waiter tries to slip your husband her phone number.
Eddie gets it – Steve is too hot for his own good – but he isn’t insecure.
He bagged Hawkins’ most eligible bachelor right after the worst week of his entire goddamn existence. Steve had a front row seat to a lot of his lowest of lows and still made out with him. Eddie had been happy to just fool around with his old high school crush but then Steve had to go pull the rug out front under him and get disowned for telling his parents that he was in love with him.
So, yeah.
There are always people thirsting after Steve but Steve Harrington wears his love so completely and openly in every ounce of his being that Eddie has never had any doubt who it’s directed towards. He is not insecure.
However.
Some of these people need to calm the fuck down.
Eddie posts a clip of Steve and Dustin bickering at each other from an old home video that he must’ve borrowed from Jonathan and forgot to give back. It from before Eddie’s time with the party.
The greater context of the video is that someone was throwing a going away party for Dustin before he left for summer camp, but it’s very clear that Steve did not know this when he walks into the house. He very clearly showed up post-workout.
In the clip, Steve is complaining about Dustin not telling him about the party and Dustin is telling him that he did tell him (“That’s not true. I told you to come here at six and bring me my flashlight. What else would I have meant?”). Eddie captioned it something like, “Some things never change.”
It’s a pretty innocuous video about two brothers giving each other a hard time but then if you read the comments, you will feel the need to go to church and repent. All the comments are about Steve’s spandex-y workout shorts. All the stitches are people trying to enhance screenshots of the video to see the outline of Steve’s dick, and really it’s – “Jesus H. Christ.”
Eddie ends up deleting the video because, “He’s seventeen in it, sickos.”
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beesmygod · 7 months
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YOU HUNTED is a work in progress 20k word bloodborne plot and lore explainer intended for both soulsborne veterans and anyone new to the series. i hope it makes you laugh
9/21- when it's all over and done with i'll give it one last edit but for now i'm calling this first half DONE. you can now read about yharnam history up until the point where the hunter arrives on the scene.
if you enjoyed this, consider throwing a little cash my way. i’m embarrassed at how much time and effort i put into this and while it's a labor of love, i'm not back to making money until next month and i'm scraping by on fumes. but only donate if you liked my work! im gonna be fine, it would just like more cushioning for the next week.
donation link
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TABLE OF CONTENTS:
foreword: explaining the fromsoft game design ethos and the perils of taking shit too seriously
common misconceptions
history of yharnam:
history of yharnam part 1: the founding of pthumeru, cainhurst and the labyrinth, the discovery by byrgenwerth
history of yharnam part 2: fishing hamlet, caryll and the runes, leaving byrgenwerth
history of yharnam part 3: research hall, maria, and gehrman
history of yharnam part 4: the raid on castle cainhurst, logarius, and ludwig
history of yharnam part 5: lower pthumeru, rom, and the bloodletting beast
history of yharnam part 6: the choir, kin, and ebrietas
history of yharnam part 7: the school of mensis, ailing loran, and yahar'gul
INTERMISSION: is ebrietas the source of the healing church blood?
history of yharnam part 8: silver, black, and white
history of yharnam part 9: laurence, djura, and brador
history of yharnam part 10: the night unfurls
contemporary yharnam history (wip)
the hunter's dream
appendix
significant colors in bloodborne
iceberg posts:
justifying my bloodborne iceberg part 1
justifying my bloodborne iceberg part 2
justifying my bloodborne iceberg part 3
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thanks for reading! do me a favor and give it a reblog for any of the bloodborne sickos in your life to enjoy/despise
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fuck-customers · 4 months
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Work in the south and used to small communities and church folk but there’s always a one up on the disturbing things they say. Have a coworker who was pregnant and was along enough to optimistically announce it. A customer that knew about it comes in and talks about “oh you’re showing now” and my coworker informs her she sadly lost it. (First I’d heard.) I try to not get into or share personal info at work even though most of us are pretty close to varying degrees but as far as I know this isn’t the first she’s lost and her and her partner are still trying so it’s a tough issue. Well then this sicko starts on what I’m well aware is comforting I guess if you’re THAT religious, “you’ll see them (the miscarriage) one day” “gods plan” stuff and just… how deludedly detached from reality do you have to be to think that is even remotely be appropriate to say in that situation?!
Posted by admin Rodney.
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kerink · 6 months
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i hope lauren works her ass off to get kevin banished from dbt but then she gets too lonely because she misses her sicko freak wife so she makes some elaborate church-related scheme to get him reintegrated into dbt and it dovetails into the current arc and carlos gets involved and theres all this drama about if kevin even WANTS to go back to dbt after how theyve treated him and him wondering if god even loves him any more and if he should give up his faith because look carlos did all this work to get back to him so maybe hell just run off back to nv with him but it all works out in the end and after this 2-year long arc the drama and angst of which rivals s3 the last line before the hiatus is charles fully voice for the first time going "id just be easier to go to therapy"
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solarcas · 1 year
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Okay I'm no fic writer and I don't usually post story ideas like these but i'm currently in sicko salami mode and I obvs need to cope SOMEHOW so have this Dean 200-new-neurosis-at-once-type fic idea that won't stop plaguing me:
Dean and Cas get their happy ending, they finally get to settle down, quit hunting, get a house in some nice small town and be in big ol gay love w each other all that. And OFC they want to get married ofc they do they're sappy old men in love and when Dean proposed they cried a shit tone but that's not the point the point is that obviously one of them is legally dead and the other rly never much existed so actually getting legally married is kinda off the plate, and neither of them are big fans of the church for.... Obvious Reasons. So instead they plan a big party at their place, planning to invite everyone they know and just force one of their lucky guests to play priest for a bit and pronounce them married etc etc and actually thats STILL not the Point™️ the Point™️ is Dean gets so so so into planning the whole thing
I'm talking he studies the meanings of flowers in depth to get just the right ones for their table arrangements. He makes Cas practise dancing with him every day so they can be perfect at it and Cas can twirl him around on the dance floor without him crashing into the snack table (Cas as angel obviously knows all the moves and performs them perfectly even before, but there's no way he'd pass on any chance of dancing with Dean). He makes sure every guest gets their invitation weeks beforehand so that no one would end up missing. He prepares a closet with demon traps in case they need to trap Crowley should he try and interfere with the ceremony. Cas regularly catches him lost in daydreams about The Day (not that Dean admits that's what he was thinking of). The guy is PREPARED and he's EXCITED like. Neither of them had much chance or reason to celebrate in their life. So he wants to use this to the fullest.
Then one day one of their friends is over, maybe Charlie idk, and they talk abt everything they've planned so far and what they're still missing when Charlie points out "Oh what about suits? You guys gonna dress the part right?" Cas pulls a very affectionate face like he knows what's coming bc boy if there's anyone on earth that likes dressing up more than Dean. So they both turn to him expecting an answer and meanwhile Dean's brain has just turned off because. Ah. Yes. Yeah yeah the suits. Suits we should get. Suits to wear at our wedding. Because we're grooms. And grooms wear suits. Those suits. Right. And that's when he realises for the first time that all this time as he'd been visualising their perfect Happiest Day In Their Lives he had been thinking. Had been picturing himself. Not in a suit. But in a dress.
So obviously he panics and not knowing what to do with this information, he runs off mumbling something about having heard the washing machine beep and man if he doesn't put that all up right now it'll end up all wrinkly sorry- leaving behind a very surprised Charlie and an even more worried Cas.
Anyway not sure where this goes from here but ofc after much Fighting The Represso, much reassuring from Cas and probably a trip to another state to find someone willing and capable of making a wedding dress that fits a guy, Dean gets his dress and he's the prettiest groom a guy could wish for and he gets to twirl around in it all night. And ofc he has a matching white lingerie set underneath, for Cas to explode some lights over later.
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ryder-the-writer · 3 months
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gimme the good little church kids au pretty pls 🤲🏻🥺
wip list game
HEHEHE you picked one of my faves
ok so i've just started working on this one BUT you've got the catholic church right? then you've got the pastor's son barty who's like a little angel (he's just real good at suppressing.....urges) and lily who's also just very good at prentending being the perfect little catholic girl, dreaming of the perfect husband and two kids with a picket fence (james makes a cameo in this, v silly times)
SO ENTER: the hot, sexy, evil twins EVAN AND PANDORAAAAAA
so basically, evan and pandora's parents get super fed up with them being "fuckin' sickos" so they start forcing them to go to church.... you can see where this is going.
not only do they not change their "sicko" ways, they corrupt two more to their side (but let's be honest, barty and lily were born a little fucked in the head)
so when the twins first saw barty and lily, they called dibs and made it a race to see who could fuck who first
LITTLE DID THEY KNOW
barty and lily, being the sneaky fucks they are, are playing the OPPOSITE GAME (what woah so much drama), seeing who can resist fucking the longest (cause they're trying to prove they aren't sluts to one another)
YOU CAN GUESS WHERE THIS GOES
basically rosekiller and pandalily end up fucking and skipping away together holding bloodstained hands towards a kinky future
so it's just silly games and drama and kinky sex and healing church trauma with porn basically <3
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clarenecessities · 4 months
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✨🍀 re: wow toons (idk what that is so pls enlighten me!)
AHAHAHA YES!!!! <-sicko voice
✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?
🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?
these go hand in hand so i'm doin' 'em together >:3c so wow toons are what you call your different world of warcraft characters, of which i have... 12? 15? some multiple of three. i shall describe each of them in turn bc you've inadvertently activated my trap card.
Sétanta - my very first wow character. he's a worgen bc obviously i'm going to pick the werewolf race, come on. i made him a druid bc i heard you could turn into even more animals and this pleased me. He's named for Cú Chulainn (Hound of Culann), who renamed himself that as a kid. I pronounce it 100% wrong, with an /s/ at the start and a /t/ in the middle, but that's what happens when you learn all your words by reading as a small child. i pronounced seamus See-Miss until i was like 16. it could be worse.
Seidrin - As I was fleshing him out i accidentally went way too hard on his mom's backstory, so when I wanted to make a tank she was the natural choice. her dad is the wolf god Goldrinn, who I decided (fancifully) to pretend was named for galdra, one of the kinds of norse magic. -inn being the masculine name suffix, i changed it tothe feminine -in and named her for seiðr magic instead. went with a d instead of a th bc logan very wisely pointed out the "-drin-" mirrors Goldrinn.
Crimthann - Sétanta's dad. I wanted to make a healer and I was like you know what would be really funny? If I named his dad after another guy who renamed himself for an animal. And Crimthann (an old irish name meaning 'fox') is often alleged to be the birth name of St. Colmcille, 'church dove'. so i made him a priest but unfortunately priests are very boring to play so he's... languishing.
Donn - I wanted to make a Horde character but I didn't know how to play anything but a druid so I was like... surely, this will work. I was gonna name him Donn Cúailnge after the Brown Bull of Cooley but it turns out you can't put spaces in the names. But Donn (shockingly) wasn't taken so... here he is! Tauren druid!
Jettion - I was bullied into making a dracthyr, the newest race, bc they have a fun starting quest. Dragons in wow have name suffixes according to their 'flight' (color) and he's a male black dracthyr (who are like anthro dragons) so his name had to end in -ion, and often the black flight's names start with shades of blade, so... it was either Jetion or Jettion, and I liked Jettion better bc it looks like Jettison.
Shannock - We all made vulpera, the little fox people together. but i'd already used the name Crimthann. so I was like 'maybe sionnach'? but if you can believeit some bastard already snagged it. so i went with a rough anglicization. i should play him more.
Lokworg - I've twice been bullied into making a monk bc supposedly they get fun later on & i just need to keep doing quests with my pals, but my pals are much faster than i am and outstrip me quickly. The first monk i deleted bc i don't care about him and honestly lokworg's not doin' much for me either. His name's orcish, lok is song/cry (noun) and worgs are the large, extra smart wolves orcs ride as mounts. More or less 'direwolf song'.
Rumpelteazer - Peer pressured into doing the worgen starting quest & I wanted someone who could learn to pick locks one day, so rogue it was! Originally named Scátha (irish for shade but also kind of an oblique reference to scáthach, the scottish warrior woman who trained Cú Chulainn (and my own pseudohistorical ancestor)), but I kept pronouncing it wrong and was listening to Cats 1998 soundtrack and... well... he's a rogue! and Mungojerrie was taken!
Ulfhedrinn - in keeping with the norse theme, he's named after the Ulfheðnar (singular Ulfheðinn, wolf+what's basically a hooded vest made of fur) that were an appropriately lupine variety of berserkers. I wanted to make a Horde healer and i was like you know... i haven't made this insane little family big enough yet.
Galdrulf - Okay, honestly? He was supposed to be Ulfhedrinn. We were starting with new Horde characters and we were gonna level together, but I got so lost in the customization sauce that I forgot Ulf's particular flavor of orc starts at level 10 instead of 1. So I panicked and made a warrior, and I named him galdr+ulf bc I'm not very creative under pressure.
Fuil - Bullied into making a dark iron dwarf but i'm not clear on why bc we never got farther than unlocking them? guys? are we doing anything with these? irish for blood bc he's going to be a Blood Death Knight. one day. probably.
Tigernmas - I was peer pressured into making a Demon Hunter, whom I wanted to name Crom but noooo, that was 'taken', so I named him after a pseudohistorical king that got himself and 75% of the men in Ireland killed worshipping Crom Cruach.
you know i'm sensing some themes here. a lot of irish. a lot of peer pressuring. jesus christ is seidrin my only woman? she doesn't even use the fpose model no wonder they keep he/himming me
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jjkmtsworld · 1 year
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what instruments genshin characters would play (mondstadt edition)
a/n: hey yalls this is my first writing post bc i am in severe genshin brainrot rn 😀 anyways, some are based on my personal experiences and my opinions LMAO please excuse me if any characters might be ooc :’)
albedo:
-the oboe
-he’s smart as hell bro, i think he’d pick up a complex instrument for fun
-he practices the oboe during whatever little downtime he has in between (not a problem since he’s quick to pick it up)
-he learned alot of melodies and sweet songs to play for klee whenever she comes sees him
-he’s the chief alchemist, of course reed prices and maintenance aren’t a problem for him (klee accidentally set some reeds on fire one time)
amber:
-the drums!! specifically the tenor drums
-i feel like since she’s an archer, her arms and wrists can handle the chops of tenors
-she has stickers from klee, collei, and eula on the sides of her drums :’)
-collei’s stickers are usually just leaves from sumeru but shhh don’t ruin it for them
-one time, kaeya was holding her drums and dropped them on accident. she cried the rest of the day (they were unscathed but she side eyes her drums anytime kaeya is nearby)
barbara:
-since she’s a singer, she’s soprano
-yknow that one fiona scene from shrek 1? the one where fiona sings to the birds? yea
-she purposely screeches and goes off key whenever that one sicko is nearby (the one who crushes on her despite being an old HAG)
-at some point, barbara tried teaching jean how to sing… jean is now forbidden from singing near the church
-sometimes her fans faint from the sudden solo she has in the middle of an instrumental piece
-she’s also training in opera <3
bennett:
-the bass drum!!
-you may never notice the bass drum, but it’s there to support and carry the orchestra. it’s the most important instrument. (just like him in most of yalls teams)
-one time the conductor told him to play as loud as he can and he broke the concert bass drum. he now temporarily has to rely on a marching bass drum for the time being.
-he places stickers from klee, fischl, and razor on his drum 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。
-as a way of training his muscles, he LUGS it home every day to practice (his dads encourage him to do his best as they wear earplugs)
-sometimes he lays on his drum when he’s feeling tired
-whenever he breaks a bass drum, he and razor empty it out, climb in it, and have fischl roll them down a slope
diluc:
-i can see him playing the bass clarinet
-doesnt have a lot of down time, but since he’s good with his fingers ( 🤺) he has good muscle memory
-accidentally left his reed on the mouthpiece and didn’t play for a couple weeks due to work. the next time he opened the case, he found mold growing.
-kaeya anonymously leaves new reeds (the expensive ones) for him at his doorstep. diluc thinks it’s either jean or lisa leaving him the reeds :’)
diona:
-the trumpet
-she performs at the cats tail often to get people to stop drinking temporarily and focus on her
-anytime her dad tries talking to her while he’s drunk, she blasts her trumpet in his face and runs off
-i feel like she’d be a classy girlie and has a silver trumpet
-her music sheets are covered in cat paws
eula:
-i can see her rocking a tuba
-doesn’t show up for practice at all due to her status
-somehow already knows what is expected of her so no worries there tbh
-one time she found a half eaten sandwich inside her tuba and mika was so quick to air out the potential culprits 😭
fischl:
-the viola
-oz sometimes has to DRAG her to practice because she wants to be out and about
-who needs music stands when you can have oz amirite?
-says she’d never audition for a solo but you catch her often practicing ( ◠‿◠ ) no wonder she always gets them with ease
jean:
-i can see her playing the organ!!
-mostly bc it’s easy for her to remember amongst everything else she has to do
-doesn’t practice very often due to work (;゙゚'ω゚'):
-sometimes plays to relieve stress and immerse herself temporarily
-barbara may have banned her singing, but she certainly doesn’t mind hearing a soft organ being played while she tidies up the cathedral for the next day
kaeya:
-tenor saxophone
-literally another reason why girls are attracted to him
-secretly wishes that diluc and him are paired up for a duet bc how FUCKING COOL WOULD THAT BE?? (๑>◡<๑)
-he is a strong hater of the soprano saxophone and no one knows why
-diluc anonymously pays for his repairs whenever kaeya has to get it fixed
klee:
-she’d play the violin
-albedo temporarily suspended her private lessons as klee kept running off to go blow up fish
-she got so upset one time that she played to soothe herself and ended up breaking a string which led to more tears
-don’t worry!! albedo paid to get it repaired :’)
-klee begged albedo to draw on her violin case. he drew dodoco on her case and now she brags about it everywhere she goes (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)
lisa:
-she’d play the cello hello
-often shows up to practice because she enjoys seeing everyone (she’ll NEVER admit it)
-i feel like in her akademiya days, she would have done music education as a side project
-she takes great care of her instrument and plays for the traveler (not without another date to follow behind ahem)
mona:
-yknow i can see her playing the flute
-it’s all beaten up bc she can’t afford repairs ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
-somehow still manages to make it work?? no one knows how it’s possible with its current state
-fischl and her have been trying to make a duet together but they sometimes end practice early bc of their bickering
noelle:
-the euphonium
-SHE’S SO SWEET AND BRINGS SNACKS FOR EVERYONE TO EAT AFTER PRACTICE (mona stuffs her hat with them to take home)
-always practices and knows her material before practice (even dips into music theory)
-practices many solo parts but never seems to land her own ://
-gets too shy to play when singled out by the conductor :’)
razor:
-probably the timpani
-enjoys going wild on it
-sometimes if you squint enough during a ballad where timpani’s aren’t needed, you’ll find him sleeping behind his instrument
-bennett accidentally broke one of the drums and razor felt so let down by it that he lugged it all the to wolvendom so bennett wouldn’t touch it anymore
-likes to lay on it during downtime
rosaria:
-the tuba
-sees the instrument as a way of creating music without being exposed by a distinct sound
-definitely can’t read sheet music and goes by ear o(`ω´ )o
-sometimes hides in her tuba case so barbara doesn’t come looking to drag her away to the church
sucrose:
-the triangle LMAO
-just like albedo, doesn’t have much time so she picked up a simple instrument to memorize
-gets slightly competitive with other triangle players
-my triangle is better than yours
-if you look on her music stand, she’ll have one page of her sheet music and the other page is an alchemy practice problem set (>人<;)
venti:
-ik it’s canon he can play the flute and lyre
-so his third instrument is the harp
-loves the sound it makes and he truly enjoys practicing when he’s not drinking
-the other archons sometime hear him from the winds carrying his musical notes to them
-he plays the among us theme song and sends it personally to zhongli (this has angered him to no ends)
-enjoys seeing his people playing in the same room and somewhat getting along! it settles his mind :))
-another wholesome point but the archons pooled enough mora and resources to make his beautifully crafted and most monstadt people are so confused on how he obtained such a luxurious instrument despite being a broke ass mf
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spider-man-2o99 · 1 year
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in the expansive 2099 rewrite that’s spent the better part of a decade squatting in the back of my head, there's-- there’s a lot more of a purposeful "angelic," theming with vulture and his street crew.
'cause, well, to me, at least, it really does feel like there was an attempted setup for something like that in his canon introduction. he saved miguel from danger by lifting him up into the sky, compared himself to a guardian angel, was mistaken for an angel by Father Jennifer during the church fight scene, etc., etc., etc.--
anyways, the point i’m making is that, instead of immediately realizing that vulture’s a Fucking Freak, it’s now more of an arc that builds up over time instead of happening all at once; at first, miguel just assumes the guy's another run of the mill technologically-augmented mob boss, or whatever-else-have-you, and the guy doesn’t stand out too much to him yet. as time goes on and miguel spends more time downtown, he learns more nd more horrific shit abt vulture's group of "scavengers," that ultimately culminates in him confronting the very man himself in his personal "nest."
see, i have a mental image of Vulture listening to spider-man's accusations, patiently stone-faced and silent, finally standing up from his perch when he’s done. vulture Looms, glowering over him, wings flared out behind him and a massive, broken stained-glass window streaming in yellow light that frames his head like a halo.
and miguel hisses at him, calls him a cannibalistic sicko using his augmentations to maintain a twisted religion of terrified downtowners leaving their dead for him and his Carrion Birds to sweep from the streets, like they're animals-- and vulture's eyes narrow. still without a word he leaps down to the ground with just one stroke of his sharp, sharp wings.
miguel almost backs away, but he holds his ground and straightens out his spine, and vulture stares right at him through the lenses of his beaked helmet with a look both intense and severely unimpressed.
"i come from angels, spider-man," he says, the blood of worthingtons past running through his veins.
his wings flare out once more. "from the bowed heads of vultures, balding like monks, praying for swift deliverance of the souls whose bodies sustain them; praying that their strength be renewed from the lives melted in their bellies."
miguel meets his gaze and his fists are clenched hard enough to crack his knuckles. he snarls. "you're insane. there is no holiness to be found in shocking eating people, you freak!"
"they were weak," responds the vulture. "and i am strong. and they are not the ones alive, when the day is over. it is God, that i may be here today from their failure to do the same."
...and then miguel leaps at him and punches him in the face, and shit, like in the comics.
i just. i think Vulture 2099 was a lot of wasted potential so in my own little sandbox i am Un-Wasting it. giving some kind of interesting in-universe Reason for why his gang is just. casually full of Cannibals (Fucked-Up Cyberpunk Dystopia Religion !)
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adultswim2021 · 1 year
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Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #4: “Salame” (aka “Sitcom”) | March 4, 2007 - 11:45PM | S01E04
This one starts off with a true classic, Steve Mahanahan’s Child Clown Outlet, though this bit gets them in trouble these days by conspiracy theorists who believe that it’s a sly reference to real-life secret activities by Hollywood sickos. I don’t think that was the intent. This is later given a little sequel with Mike Mahanahan’s Child Clown Shoe’s Outlet. Tim gets a dumb haircut just for this bit, and that behind-the-scenes footage winds up being the “great job” card, but changed to “Salame” instead.
The hosting bit is pretty bare bones. It’s a simple, undersold premise that Eric has created the entire show himself on VHS. This also includes a brief outtake-seeming bit of footage where somebody seems to be angrily laying down the law to Tim and Eric. “I’ve said my piece, I’ll leave these on your desk” says the disembodied voice. Tim and Eric start harmonizing their response of “fair enough”. Hilarious. This segues into David Liebe Hart’s first segment on the show (previously seen in promos for the series premiere), where he sings about an alien race and their customs with a strange orange cat puppet on his knee. He’s not very good at ventriloquism, in fact he’s not even making an effort at ventriloquism. David Liebe Hart is a Los Angeles area public access television personality. His show The Junior Christian Teaching Bible Lesson Program has been on since, I don’t know when, but at least the 90s. I believe he usually acts as a puppeteer and not a ventriloquist on that show. Could it be that Tim and Eric cruelly promised to simply not film his face while doing the puppet’s voices? Who can say. 
David is an interesting character. He has been kicking around Hollywood since the 70s at least, and you can see him in the background of select episodes of sitcoms and the like (A Good Times background role can be seen here). He sincerely believes he’s been abducted by aliens, and is a devout Christian Scientist. He also likes to tour with a live “comedy” show. A friend of mine opened for him once, and he told me DLH vomited loudly in some outdoor seating area of the venue and then used the first part of his act to rage against the kitchen for poisoning him, claiming the food made him “spit up”. He also likes to claim that Tim & Eric are satanic pedophiles. I once heard an audio recording of one of these shows and it was genuinely troubling. I could barely follow what DLH was even saying.
This same friend called Tim during his internet show Office Hours, and reported this information of DLH making wild claims about him and Eric. Tim already knew about it, and was just sorta like “eh what can you do?” This was before the more recent attempt by right-wingers to do exactly the same thing. Oh yeah, before I forget: DLH is on the commentary track for this episode on DVD, and it’s good. 
This episode also has “Here She Comes”, where Weird Al (as Simon) escorts several dolled-up but nervous-looking elderly women to Tim & Eric. Tim & Eric are playing two straight-laced/evangelical-looking church men with long microphones and menacing auras. They whisper-speak the phrase “here she comes” as each woman is presented to them. Eventually Bob Odenkirk pops up from behind a podium to sing the “Here She Comes” song. They pick one and sing to her and make sort-of kissing smacks next to her head. It’s a very scary sketch. And… I like it.
“Making It” In Hollywood features an introduction from Billy Crystals, Awesome Show’s first foray into weaving gold from bad celebrity impersonators. The meat of the sketch is clips from a VHS series that teaches you how to make it in Hollywood, taught by Tim & Eric. Eric makes kissy faces at a beautiful woman in the class. Turns out she was TOO beautiful, because Tim Heidecker wound up MARRYING HER!! THIS IS WHERE THEY MET! ISN’T TRUE LOVE GRAND?? As for the sketch, this is pretty mid, and the humor is more on the conventional side. It’s still Tim & Eric though, so of course it ends with Tim & Eric bowing over and over while footage of DLH and his gross puppet fade over it, also bowing. 
Uncle Muscles presents Casey and His Brother with “Cops and Robbers”. DLH noted on the commentary that Tim & Eric are the first comedians to make fun of special education people. Tim and Eric give him a little pushback on both points of 1) no they weren’t and 2) Casey and his brother aren’t uh… uuuuhhhhh…. Hmm.
Pretty great, well-rounded episode, all things considered. So far the series has has very few weak spots. Season one MAY be perfect?
MAIL BAG
Hungry for more? Check out Edy's Ice Cream's official page to find your next favorite flavor. Edy's: Happiness By The Scoop.
What da fuq
I think you are making some of these mailbags up because some of your messages are just so crazy. Are you trying to get a show on Adult Swim called, "My Crazy Mailbag". It might just work!
I don’t make anything up, ever. I always tell the truth. The truth is - you stink. Just kidding. You don’t stink, and I like you
2023 is almost here. They say odd number years tend to be more soul-bearing than even ones. Although our calendar year system is a made up construct whose to say what year it truly is? Laugh out loud! Anywhoozle, any words of wisdom for Adult Swim fans about the future of this programming block in the coming year?
I think there needs to be more leftist causes being addressed on the air and less joking around.
What's the last thing you saw on TV that made you jump up for joy?
LOL - Nothing since Stuart MadTV (that is how I have him in my phone)
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urboymutual · 2 years
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hi, a veteran of parental deterfifying process. rule number one is that you've got to be patient - and not in a way that you've got to put up with your mom's bs, but in a way that you've got to brace yourself for something that might take a while. small steps are good here, as well as systematic exposure. don't flood with information - sneak it in, then sneak it in more often. don't give up. you deserve to be understood. good luck & stay safe
hi anon thanks for actually like . replying to the point of the original post 😭💗
um im gonna explain my situation more under the read more because it may be triggering tw transphobia tw csa mention tw suicide mention
so ive been out since i was 14 years old so its been about 6 years i wanna say. but lord knows ive been patient 😭😭 i think in the beginning it was kinda a battle we would constantly argue but i never really felt like. she would get to be this bad? like its like her brain is rotting by t/rf and anti trans rhetoric
like when i came out i was already in therapy and all the therapist i went to diagnosed me with gender dysphoria 😭 like every single one and she still couldnt believe it and i guess she was in the denial stage and what shes doing now is anger?
idk both my parents have the belief im doing it to make my mom made because i was a rebellious child and shit. but like it was really ur typical religious bigotry and i think thats why it hurts now :/
like ive begged her to go to pflag to talk to other parents of trans people i begged her to talk to trans people besides me ive begged her to listen to my point of view so many times but now shes like a full on t/rf conspiracy theorist
she claims theres a trans agenda, that doctors have initiative to "turn people trans" for money, that "sickos" took transgender out of the dsm because "men have a sick fetish for humiliating other men and making them into women" like this is full on like ur crazy trumper uncle who doesnt believe in vaccines type shit. and when i offer her scientific research its considered "bias" and everything i try to show her is bias.
but its worse because she now sends me videos in my fucking email of "feminist" lawyers talking about how we are "losing women" to the "transgender agenda" and how "men are trying to be women to hurt women" like ur typical t/rf bullshit and its like a mixed fucked up concoction of anti science t/rf christian ideology and it hurts so much 🫠 (she also sends me de transitioning videos that neither here nor there but cis people who claimed to be trans and now are de transitioning and are transphobic as fuck can die by my blade)
but its like . she is serious brainwashed and i think it might be this new church shes going to thats making her even worse and im like. i literally cried myself to sleep last night because like i just want her to love me and she yells at me on the phone saying im butchering my body and like she also says i need more therapy (i go to therapy every month) bc i "was molested as a kid so now i think im trans" and that i "just need to love my body" and it hurts because like. shes literally hitting every single transphobic point and wont listen to me ever
i try listening to her now to understand and to try to see where she is coming from but its ruining my mental health a lot like getting top surgery is the only thing keeping me from suicide to be blunt :/ and now i might not even have that because she's threatening to cut me off and i live in expensive ass california and am in college 😭 like i do not know how to keep going
im just a child on the inside begging for my moms love and shes so brainwashed and it hurts. but yeah i guess shes "so based" when she also threatens me on the phone. idk t/rf much rather see a dead trans kid than care abt women
anyways sorry this is so long it kinda became a vent which was like half the original point of my post in the first place 😭😭 ur advice is good anon but i dont know how much i can keep hanging on 🫠🫠
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whippedcloudsofcream · 3 months
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TW: Fucked up stuff
I rewatched that analysis about Gray Dawn again, y'know that game I talked about where we play as a very ill minded unreliable priest
It turned out the guy was very sick in the head, he murdered children cuz he thought those children are demons incarnate and they're dirtying his "Jesus", who was actually a normal boy, that priest disgustingly fantasized a young boy as a reincarnation of Jesus. He also killed that boy by accidentally running over him with his vehicle and murdered the child
It's revealed at the end he committed suicide to atone for his sins and to get to Heaven, it also implied he only felt guilty for killing "his Jesus" not the other children, it's worse that the children this asshole murdered were orphans under his care hence it's easier for him to commit the deeds
There was also this theory where the priest murdered a Woman who was his co-caretaker to the Orphanage he was managing bcuz well, she found out he's a criminally ill creep, he did it by shoving her off a railing of an abandoned church resulting to her falling to her death. Seeing how unreliable this priest is, I think it might be true, also he hates women cuz he was sexually repressed and instead,well turned the target to children
Here's also a delicious twist: From the start to the end of the Priest's journey, he wasn't alive, rather he was in Hell, meaning we were playing a dead man since the start
Which explains a lot, the entire game was about a sinner reliving his own crime and life, although he admitted his sin, it's only a bit of it, so he is a hypocrite till the end, therefore Hell will have a fun time with him. After all Hell is very welcoming of insane sinners
There are a lot of visual cues in the game that indicate he's in Hell, first the snowing sky, the analyst said this is a symbol of Heaven with the pure white snow, Winter being the Season of Christmas, Jesus's birthday. It hints that the Priest believed he should be in Heaven ugh
But the sky wasn't actually snowing, that wasn't snow falling from the sky, but volcanic ashes from an active volcano, which means he's in Hell, a place full of fire. The truth is that he's in Hell not Heaven, only the bastard believed he was in Heaven
I also remember that the deepest level of Hell's many levels is one of the coldest Winters, so maybe Winter doesn't mean Heaven here, it also ties back to Hell.
This guy commits crimes that can put him in more than one Hell's level: Heretic, Murder, Pedophilia,Hypocrisy..... Apparently Hell is organised since they have levels catered to different sinners and I'm pretty sure a sinner who committed many types of crimes had to experience different levels, how neat, the Devil must be really organised, I'm pretty sure he welcomes the Priest with open arms cuz this asshole is in for eternal damnation
Not sure if this is worth a mention but: In the Priest's memory, the Radio was broadcasting about the suspicion on the Priest we're playing as, he was suspected of murdering the children I mentioned, excluding the boy he ran over. Apparently another Priest may have caught on to his crimes and told the Police about his suspicion. I hope that the Police found the Children's corpses cuz that Priest hid them well in a crypt underneath the abandoned church where he killed the caretaker woman and the remaining orphans to be safe, cuz God, he was a massive creep and EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW and get another manager who isn't a sicko
omgggg thank you for the info that makes the game even more interesting and also everything in it 10x worse, but also thank god he’s being punished lol
I’m hoping the other priest, the children and woman (who are in heaven most definitely), and the families found peace after all that horror, peace that the evil priest will never know because he’ll always be suffering for his sins 💖💖
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addamned · 5 months
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some general things about various people:
morticia is a witch from a long line of them. she has 100% preformed human sacrifices. being a psychic is one of the less common elioud gifts in the frump family, no where near as common as with say the thorpes for whom it's basically everyone. she has 2 sisters and they're all Fucking Insane in totally different ways. she's the kind of person who masters everything she does with such swiftness that it ends up being catastrophic which is part of why she focuses more on domestic things and not a career or anything like that. she's actually quite religious and encourages the family to attend weekly black masses at their local defiled church.
gomez appears to be borderline a normie at first glance, especially compared to people like fester but he does actually have weirdness going on. wednesday ( @vileauteur ) inherits her bizarre biology from him and his own personal gift is that he has BONKERS luck. the man is borderline incompetent at things like law and stocks and has committed MULTIPLE crimes with NUMEROUS witnesses and he always comes out of it scott free and maybe even making a profit. it's truly impossible to keep gomez on the back foot for very long.
gomez is the one who killed garrett gates when they were at faulkners and it was 100% intentional and 100% in cold blood. after morticia's attempts to solve it via legal routes failed and they saw him again the night of the rave'n he went fucking sicko mode and merc'd the dude defending morticia. and naturally once again walked away from it scott free.
pugsley is the OLDEST (!!!!!!!!!) and a tech whiz. while wednesday is largely tech adverse pugsley is terrifyingly competent. he's a true mad scientist and his hobbies are arson and explosives. he's 2 years older than wednesday and was on the wrestling team and axe throwing team at faulkner's. he's absolutely the popular jock to wednesday's artistic it girl in elioud society. he's also the most "normal" of the family which is a bit of a shameful secret for him.
pubert never turned back to his normal addams look like we see at the end of AFV, it's the side effects of his childhood illness from that whole event. in mentality and personality he's EXTREMELY addams-y. he comes off as the most normal of the family, all blonde haired and blue eyed and polo wearing but underneath he's basically damian from the omen (aka the antichrist). his family urge people to not talk about his Tragic Disfigurement (cherubic looks) and there's a bit of a pitying air about it. he's currently attending faulkners (yes i'm bullshiting the ages don't at me).
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automatismoateo · 2 years
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Retry: Louisiana Students Taken to Transphobic Church Event Instead of Career Fair via /r/atheism
Retry: Louisiana Students Taken to Transphobic Church Event Instead of Career Fair
The Newsweek Article: https://www.newsweek.com/louisiana-students-taken-transphobic-church-event-instead-career-fair-1745542
BY AILA SLISCO ON 9/22/22 AT 7:14 PM EDT While the event was billed as a "college and career fair," some students and parents later said that it was more focused on pushing religious indoctrination than providing any real career advice. The event allegedly featured sexist lessons taught after students were separated by gender, while transgender students were allegedly discriminated against and experienced bullying that those in charge allowed to take place.
Day of Nope: https://www.dayofnope.com/
Are you a student, parent chaperone, or teacher who attended the EBR Schools’ Day of Hope event? Did your child attend? Share your story here.
On September 20, 2022, EBR Schools held a field trip called “Day of Hope” for over 2,000 high school seniors, which they claimed was a “college and career fair.” The real intent was purposefully concealed. As covered in the parish’s journal of record, The Baton Rouge Advocate, school buses transported students to a local church, where event leaders required students to disclose their gender identity and divide into two groups. Boys were encouraged to perform macho acts while girls were advised to forgive men who rape and assault them. Speakers subjected students to graphic tales and reenactment of suicide, which left some students with past loss due to suicide disturbed and upset with no emotional support to help them. Students were found in the bathroom weeping. In violation of federal law, lunch was conditioned on completing voter registration forms and other election related materials were distributed to students. Students were lured to the event with promises of free food and educational opportunity. Once there, they lived a day of trauma, not a “Day of Hope." Please join us in the fight to help our kids heal and to ensure this never happens again.
A Facebook post by EBR Schools, who initiated the event, is linked in the Newsweek article. The school posted...
EBR Schools: Today’s “Day of Hope” event was amazing! We were honored to hear directly from students to help them address the issues they face and to provide them with motivation and guidance to empower their choices.
Some replies include...
Rachel Hunter Livengood: Apparently some taxpayers have been blocked from commenting. EBR Schools are publicly funded and absent inappropriate language or threats of violence all should be permitted to voice their concerns about this outrageous misuse of taxpayer dollars and the apparent abusive behavior directed at some of the students in attendance.
Julius Novachrono: This should be a class action lawsuit. This was an extreme violation of their first amendment right to freedom of (or from) religion, as well as their 15th amendment rights of equal protection under the law. If EBR is sued enough, they will be forced to replace the sickos that held this event.
Submitted September 25, 2022 at 05:02PM by Adventurous_Fly_4420 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/KjPzqDt)
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lillaxtrigger · 2 years
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Street Smarts: Chapter 4
The city skies of New York darken in an orange hue as the sun descends down towards the western horizon, the shadows casting their dark vials across the eastern sides of the countless buildings as the night approaches; the tallest buildings blanketing over a stretch of the city with they’re enormous shades. And such encroaching darkness urges the scourge of the day to burrow out from their dens and prowl through the nightly streets; the scoundrels and criminals that are demonized by law abiding citizens to crawl out of the wood works to partake in their evenings of debauchery. Among the nearly empty roads, devoid of the usual daytime bustle of both traffic and streetgoers, a small moving van slows along the edge of the road and parks beside at first, an empty allyway; holding nothing but some garbage cans and a couple of stray cats. Those feline that were digging through the trash for their meal swiftly scamper away when a door out along one of the buildings comes flying open; the light from inside piercing through the darkness and flooding through the alley as those within march out with large boxes in tow. One of the people that carry them out into the moving van questions: “These things are pretty heavy. What even packed in them anyway?” To this does another man of ginger hair with a sequin belt and silk jade sweater step out from the passenger side of the van and informs them on how: “Just some meals gathered from the food drives. Pastor wants us to move it out over to the Christian rec center out on May Jam way.” “Tarot, that’s about 25 miles away. That’s at least a 1 hour trip.” the other person carrying the boxes into the back of the van claims. “Yeah, and out on streets like this at night. That’s practically asking to get stopped and shifted. You seriously expect us to transport all this food without getting ganked?” “Relax. As long as your with me, I guarantee that the road ahead will be free of any bumps or bruises.”
Unbeknownst to them all however, a pair peeking out from along the rooftop spy on them as they continue to carry out the boxes into the back of the moving van; Thursotte and Frida glaring down to everyone down there, with the dimensional psychic claiming: “Right. One of these guys have gotta be a psychic. The cult wouldn’t be moronic to leave a shipment like this unguarded. Most likely, its the guy barking orders; but the million dollar question is what they can do?” “A little too much security for a food delivery, don’t ya think. I mean I know foods pretty important, but still, can’t they use their connection to get food from the church in another way.” Thurs wonders. “You seriously can’t believe they’re hauling food, right? Didn’t you go over the report?” “We get reports?” “Oy...Kay, so. Full stop, those boxes they got don’t have a single table scrape of food in their cardboard. Doubt that most of the grunts down there don’t even know what they’re carrying.” “And that would be?” “Weapons. A lot of them. Firearms. Bombs, ammo, you name it. Since the cults been losing ground in this whole painted up gang war, they could be hoping that this fresh shipment of ammunition can turn the tides.” “Seems pretty reckless to have just one truck to ship something so valuable. I’d have split the payload up with at least a couple more to thin us out.” Thurs gives his opinion for. “They kind of did that. Only instead of a second truck, they opted to have the second half delivered via ship.”
“By boat?” Satette questions. “Yep, just sail right along the canal like its fucking Venice Italy; except nowhere near as romantic and 20 times more polluted. You know I hooked a bag of used condoms out there while I was fishing once?” Wedsle explains. “A whole ass bag!? God, that’s foul. What sicko would even…So, what’s even the plan here. We just jump them before they head off or.-” “Nah, nah, nah. With the kind of heat they got stowed in the back. Much of a better idea to wait til they depart and sneak aboard, fuck em there.” “Kay, but a couple more things still bug me.” “Like?” Wedsle wonders as both of them peek out from the shed they hide behind.
The two peer out towards a small dock set out along the side the greenish waters of the canal toward a small boat parked at the dock, with a few people loading several boxes onto the deck from the back of a pickup truck; all the while a somewhat muscular woman donning locks of jet black dressed in a shade of green nearly matching the canal waters tends to a couple of other people along the front of the pickup. “Pretty sure that beefcake there’s calling the shots. Question is what sort of psychic power she’s got underneath all that meat.” “Hard to read. Can’t be anything too powerful if the cult’s got her stuck on delivery watch, though.” the purple psychic remarks. “You never know. And speaking of not knowing, where the hell is Monty. Shouldn’t our leader enlighten us with his guidance?” “Hah, enlighten. Actually, he got called in by the higher ups to help plan on what our next real move should be to finish the apostles. With the cult starting to be left on their last leg, it might not be long before we can hit them where it hurts and finally weed them out.”
The two of them shimmy back behind the shed as Wedsle continues to explain how: “I suggested Monty to get us a position that’ll let us tackle the cult leader himself. If we manage to pull that off, that’ll lend us enough credence to gain the bosses trust and reveal himself. And from then on we work on pulling the rug out from under the bastard and take his throne.” “So, you went and suggested that our little band, some of them having not been on the job for even half a month, to storm the cults stronghold and kill their leader? Are you taking the piss right now?” “Chill out, the cult won’t be down for the count that quickly. We’ll have enough time to plan and get you used to using your powers.” “Oh yeah, coming from you, that’s reassuring.” Sarcastically claims Satette. “Bitch, I-” But on the cusp of barking back at the lively young psychic, the two suddenly hear a horn blow off from behind the shed and peek back to discover the boat departing from the docks and sailing through the grimy green canal; Satette starting to panic as she goes: “Shit! It’s already leaving? What do we do?” “Follow me.” Wedsle demands, darting off the opposite direction. “Where the hell are you running, the boats going the other way.” “I know where that direction of the Canal leads, we can cut them off from there.”
The small moving van wobbles in place as the last box is set inside, the man that had carried it in wiping the sweat off his brow as he claims that: “Phew. Think that’s the last of it. Think we’re ready to head out.” “Excellent! Now just to head on out to the rec center. And drop off the good. The guys waiting for you will take things off from there.” Tarot orders them. “Sure, but….” “Yes?” “There’s hardly any room in the back of the truck, and the front only has two seats. I don’t know if there’s enough room for you to-” “Oh, neither of you need to worry about all that. I’ll be hear watching over you guys and your trip. Just trust me.” “Al...right…” the moving man utters as he gets in the passenger side of the truck.
Taking his seat in the front and shutting the door behind him, the guy peers to the woman taking the wheel as she asks: “He coming or what?” “He said just go ahead.” “Uh...kay…” As the driver starts the ignition and hears the engine of the moving van roar out, she notices a blur go across her door’s mirror, prompting her to swiftly peek out through the window; but the driver is left dumbfounded when gazing back to find not a soul set along the side of the van. “Uh….” “What’s up? You see somethin.” “Mmm probably just some dog.” the driver dismisses with, slinking back to the wheel, left entirely ignorant of the two dimensional hand slithering under the trucks bottom.
With no further interruptions hindering their departure, the moving van rolls out of the alleyway and starts its trip through the nightly city street; the vans headlight piercing through the grungy shadows that plagues the roads ahead of them. Unbeknownst to the two sitting in front, an arm of 2 dimensions slithers out from the bottom of the truck and reaches across the van’s back doors towards the top of the vehicle; this hand poking out from the surface of the door to clutch the edge of the van’s roof.   The woman this hand belongs to heaves herself up to the top of the moving van as she returns to a 3 dimensional person; Frida catching her breath as she pulls Thursotte from the flat surface and up to the top with her. Thurs draws in a sharp gasp as he himself returns to the 3rd dimension, taking a moment to catch his breath before asking: “How do you even breath in there?” “You don’t.” “Wish there was oxygen in the 2nd dimension. You could practically live in the walls, then.” “Meh, flat surfaces are pretty boring. The 3-D world has more depth.”
“So, what’s our plan here? We hijack the truck and take the wheel?” Thursotte wonders. “Nah; still worried about that one guy that was with them; he might be hiding here waiting to ambush us if we try that. Think it be better for you to cause an accident.” Frida suggests. “With us still on top of this massive payload!? You nuts? There’s seriously way too many factors to consider in play here. The car going 40 knocking us off, the ammo inside it detonating. Even if we wind up making it through the crash, the explosion’ll do the rest. And that ain’t even accounting for that one guy that was with them. He could be right under our feet for all we know. You might have the luxury of using your powers to plan ahead, but I don’t. As soon as I pull the trigger for mine, practically anything could happen; countless variables that I might not have even taken for account like a dog or bird passing by that could throw a whole tool box set into the works. How am I supposed to plan around an ability have next to no control over?” “I don’t know, think of something creative or-”
Before the dimensional psychic could begin to comfort her partner in crime, the 2 dimensional psychic sees something slowly emerge out from part of the van’s top behind Thursotte; a hand phasing out and reaching towards the chaotic psychic’s back leg. “Thurs! Watch out!” she shouts, lunging right out towards Thurs in her attempt to save him from the reaching hand. But in the midst of her efforts in trying to save her friend from the encroaching hand does Frida feel something run down the back of her leg, the 2 dimension psychic peering down to discover a whole arm clutching at her calf. Before the dimensional woman could even attempt to pull herself away from the arms clutches, it jerks her towards the side of the van and tosses her right off. “Frida!” Thursotte screams, scrambling to the side as the limbs return down through the van’s solid surface. Upon peering down from the side of the van, the psychic of chaos fails to see any sign of his partner anywhere along the road; worried whimper seeping out as something from the top of the roof takes a deep breath.
“You’re one hell of a sad sack, you know.” he hears someone insult from behind, prompting him to peer back and discover he’s not the only one on top of the moving vehicle. The ginger haired man that had order the movers from earlier standing halfway submerged through the surface of the roof comes crawling out and rest half risen from the liquidized part of the top; further hazing how: “Got power in the palm of your hands and are just too scared to use it; talking like some frightened little brat going through daddy’s power tools. Just listening to you whine seriously pisses me off!” Though left frightened by their foe’s unexpected appearance, Thurs nonetheless fully turns to face him as he continues with: “Honestly, what good is power if your too scared to use it. Even if you don’t know how it works, you gotta try anyway; see how you can work them into your playbook. Take me for example, I was worried about swimming through surfaces when I first started out, thinking I couldn’t come back up if I delved down deep enough. But I kept on practicing and learned how to go through solids like an Olympic swimmer taking home the gold; or bronze if were being realistic here.” Unrelenting terror courses through Thursotte as Tarot slowly and menacingly approaches, left with practically no room to back away as he edges along the side of the van’s top. “You can’t be scared of what your capable off, kid; how else are you supposed to make your way through this cruel and heartless world.” the swimming psychic claims, reaching his hand towards Thurs neck.
But before the solid swimming psychic could even lay a finger on defenseless Thursotte, a wayward bullet streaks right through Tarot’s hand, urging him to withdraw away from his foe; both he and Thurs peering out in the direction the shot had came from to find Frida hanging out from the back of the van, with part of her 2-D body emerging out from the surface with a smoking pistol in hand. “Can’t believe you were stupid enough to boast like that. Bitch move.” she chastises. The mere site of the gun toting woman having returned compels their foe to delve back underneath the roof of the moving van; both Frida and Thursotte crawling to the very center of the rooftop, standing back to back as they keep their eyes peeled for where the solid swimming psychic could emerge from next. “This guy could attack us from anywhere he wants with a power like that, even right underneath our feet. What do we do?” Thurs questions. “Keep your aura up. He can’t pull us under if we remain on guard.” warns Frida, her and her partner manifesting their aura’s through their bodies.
Despite guarding themselves from their foe’s solid swimming abilities, they fail to take into account what Tarot has on hand; their foe’s arm breaching the solid surface with a pocket knife. Tarot plunged the sharp end of the weapon straight into Frida’s calf; a sharp hiss escapes from the dimensional psychic as she aims the end of her pistol down to the arm, but finds the limb of their foe having already slipped back down under the surface. “Frida!” Thurs exclaims as he turns back to witness his partner buckle on her knee from the stab wound. “The hell are you waiting for. Cause an accident to happen.” she suddenly demands. “But, but I can’t just-” “We don’t have time to think about what’ll happen! Do it now before that bastard comes back up again!”
Pressured by both his partner in crime and the dire situation at hand, Thursotte turns towards the back of the truck and thrust his silver glowing hand downwards to the roof they both stand on; his attempt to run his accident inducing powers through the moving van fail to pull through as a knife thrusts straight through the palm of his hand. “Ahh!” His hands still pierced by the daggers cold steel, the arm that holds the weapon jerks Thursotte forwards and sends him hurdling straight off the top of the moving van; Tarot’s upper half emerging out from the surface as he and Frida watch the chaotic psychic tumble across the road as the van leave him behind in the dust.
“Whelp, I’d say there goes what might’ve been your only trump card. Doubt you can do anything to put the breaks on this delivery now.” Tarot boasts, brandishing a set of twin daggers. Reaching under her jacket, Frida uses her abilities to pull out another pistol that she had stowed away inside the 2 dimensional plane, arming herself with a pair of pistols and firing at her foe; Tarot delves back down under the surface of the roof before a single bullet could even scrape the guy. Dammit, he might be right. Without Thursotte, I doubt there’s much I could do with this solid swimming son of a bitch paddling in this truck. Gotta think of a way to put a bullet right between his eyes, else he might just make mince meat outta me.
The glow of the street lights are all that shed through the vial of shadows overcoming the canal as the lone boat  gently glides way across its waters; letting the slender man at the helm steer through the man made river ahead as the ship comes towards a bridge hanging overhead. Right as the small boat was about to start sailing underneath the overpass, a pair of shadow leap off the side of the bridge and delve down towards the ship and land onto the deck just as the ship was entering the darkness. “Huh.” the helmsman utters, gazing behind the window of his cabin. Yet his peek to the deck leads to but a false sense of security as he finds not a shadow among the veil of dark; this distracting the helmsman from noticing the hatch overhead cracking open as a figure slips down inside.
When the ship sails to the other side of the overpass, the returning illumination of the streetlights flood across the deck to confirm somebody standing outside on the opposite end of the boat; a woman with beige hair and a green streak peering out to him with her olive eyes. Upon finding this woman does the helmsman race back to the wheel in an effort to call in for back up, but is stopped dead in his tracks when discovering a man in a purple blazer standing right behind him; a bone chilling fright spreading across his body as this newcomer brushes the back of his palm against his face while whispering: “Shhh. Easy there, guy.” “Wh...Who are you?” “Where just hear to take a peek at what ya got stashed under the deck.” “This boat don’t got nothin on it, I swear.” “Oh…” Wedsle moans before taking a tight grasp at the mans neck and pinning him against the cabin window. “You really shouldn’t lie like that, you tasty piece of slim jim. It don’t make you look pretty.”
The little ship continues its cruise across the canal as Satette peers down into the greenish waters, gazing into her own reflection rippling on the surface; a small sigh expelling out from her as she ponders to herself over the fate of the man she had chased through the superstore, the site of his bleeding corpse still fresh in her mind. Will I have to stomp over some good people like he was if I want to take over the mob? I don’t know if I have the stomach for that. Taking the life of an innocent person, even thinking about its making my skin crawl. That’s why I wanted to start fighting against the mob in the first place, to stop them from pushing illegal drugs on people and ruining people’s lives. Could I really call myself any better if I hurt people like them to reach the top? I don’t wanna do that, I don’t wanna use my powers on a normal human.
Sat interrupts her thoughts when spotting a sizable shadow streak underneath the water and under the deck of the boat; the lively young lady races to the other side of the deck and peers down into that part of the river, finding not even a glimmer of anything hidden under the surface of the canal. That shadow looked way too big to be just a fish passing by, and the chances of a fish that big being in these waters are next to none; unless some jackass dropped a full sized dolphin in these groggy waters, than there’s definitely somebody swimming around down there.
Curious of which of the boat goers could be paddling down through the river beneath them, Satette ventures over to the door of the cabin and knocks on the door; asking: “Hey, how much of the crew you got in there.” “Just this one string bean here. Served fresh and ready to eat, yum.” Wedsle claims. “What are you talking about?” the man questions. “No one else?” Sat makes certain. “Not a soul, why?” I know I saw someone else board that boat, that other woman packing all that meat in her muscle. But why would she just jump ship like this, especially with only the light of the street lamps making it hard to see under there. Did she just feel like taking a little dip?
While wandering to the middle of the deck in her pondering thoughts, some of the river water rises up from the canal face and morphs into the shape of a lengthy tentacle; the growing limb cocking itself back as its shadow stretches along the wood of the boat. Sat notices the shimmering light along the face of the deck, as if somebody had put a clear bowl of water underneath the lamp; the woman turning over towards the shadow to see the tentacle of water launching straight towards her head. The lively young woman feels the water’s cold chill as she evades the watery limbs thrusting assault by just inches, Sat witnessing it crash right into the canal wall hard enough to leave a crater along the concrete; the water from the tentacle splashing down and dripping back into the river. The force behind that blast of water, it have taken my head clean off! That woman didn’t take a dive down just to set up a sneak attack, she delve down into the depths to take control of the river. Gotta warn Wedsle!
Satette bolts to the cabin before their foe could make the next move, slamming herself against the steel door and shouting to the other side: “Wedsle! The psychic, she’s in the river! She can control water!” “Water!?” the purple psychic yelps, glancing out the cabin window and to the rest of the canal ahead. Shit, it all making sense now! They didn’t take the canal so they be less likely to be ambushed, they picked the river cause they had the perfect guard for the route! If we try and swim back to shore now, we’ll be dead before we can even make it halfway! “What do we do?” he hears Satette frantically questions. “Stay on the ship! The wet bitch won’t risk the structural interior of the ship; not unless she wants to risk water logging the cargo. I’ll steer it back to shore!” Taking both hands to the wheel, Wedsle turns hard to port in an effort to head to the side of the canal, but no matter how much the purple psychic makes the wheel spin, the ship continues the course straight down the middle of the river. What the fuck, why isn’t the ship turning!? Wait! This bitch can take control of water right, does that mean she’s got the current under her command? Dammit! If that’s true, than even turning off the engines won’t stop this damn thing, none of the controls will. This whole ship was nothing but a honeypot trap She got us completely cornered; we leaped right in and didn’t realize it until it was far too late!
Left with very little recourse left to take, Wedsle turns to the slender man groveling in the corner of the cabin and picks him pick by the shirt collar; his jesting demeanor earlier with him turn far more serious as he demands to know from him; “Where the hell is this ship supposed to stop!?” “I-uh-uh-ah Ah!” “Speak dammit!” “I-i-i-its supposed to be passing by 7 docks down the canal. That was the route I was given to take! That-that’s all I know! Please don’t hurt me!” blubbers the helmsman. 7 docks down! At this speed, that’s about a 40 minute boat ride. And that’s heading right underneath a couple more bridges. There’s hardly any chance we can fight back against this psychic when smack in the middle of her fucking home field. If we can’t stop this shipment, we can at least try and escape with our lives.
The tension aboard the ship continues to build as it cruises through the grimy water channel, Satette taking cover behind the edge as the threat of their newfound water manipulating foe looms underneath her very feet. Okay Sats, just relax. Like Weds said, she won’t risk puncturing the hull and water logging the supplies. As long as I keep my guard up and stay firmly on deck, we might make it out of this whole mess in one piece. Yet her sense of security is quickly shattered when hearing the sound of rushing water overhead, gazing up to discover a scythe made of river water stretching out from behind the guard; the deadly scythe grazing the young lady’s shoulder as she rolls away from its swing. Sat is left stunned when witnessing the weapon of water rip through the steel guard wall of the ship with very little trouble. Dammit! That underwater hoe can turn the water into whatever she wants. She doesn’t even need to shoot out water at me, she can hit me from anywhere on this boat. Wait, how did she know where I was? She couldn’t possess some kind of sonar or echolocation, neither would work well in this case. Think, Sat. This bitch is swimming right under me and waiting for the right time to strike. She can bide her time all she wants, she still needs to come up for air. And while she’s catching her breath, nothings stopping her from  taking a peek of the deck and working from there. All I gotta do is bait her ass out and toss her up here.
Nothing but the chirps of crickets could be heard echoes through the empty New York city block as Thursotte lays in the middle of the road; the young man gazing to the bleeding gash across the palm of his hand and letting out a pained groan while slowly pulling himself off the cold hard concrete. Agh! Crap, that hurt! Should’ve known slapping my hand on the truck wasn’t the best option. Now look where all that panicking has got me, left with my hand impersonating the palm of Jesus Christ and Frida left alone with that solid swimming dick head. Why didn’t I do what Frida said the first time and caused an accident just as the truck was taking off!? There’s no way in hell I can catch them on foot...or, maybe I can.
When standing up on his own two feet, Thurs shift his peepers out towards an alleyway cutting straight through into the neighboring roads on the other side; the front headlights of a car shinning through the alley before it makes the turn. If I remember the route that truck was planning to take, head down south, taking a turn east, then coming back up north, then they should be heading straight towards the Gierno intersection; the walk there from here is much shorter than the drive over. With it being so close to 9, the traffic in that four way intersection is gonna be jammed packed with people coming off their late shifts. If I hurry, I can intercept the truck from there. With a plan swiftly formulated, Thursotte wastes not another moment to bolt through the alleyway and continue down the street on the other side; the man squeezing his wounded hand tightly as the crimson from the gash drips across the concrete. There’s no time to tend to my stab wound now. Not if I wanna make it in time. Don’t worry Frida, I won’t let this be the end of us both; not after everything you done for me!
The pitch black sky blanketing over the city of New York transforms into a bright cloudless sky as Thursotte reminisce of his days about half a year ago, the young man, having come to the U.S and became a citizen, had come fresh out of collage and on the prowl for a job specializing with his major in physics and mathematics. A promising future lay ahead for the young man as he was offered a job at a major startup company which sought his specialty in process engineering. Just in his head alone, Thurs could picture the procedure of an assembly line and most of the parts used in manufacturing; every piece was necessary for the grand picture that was the entire machine. Its how the young man had viewed everything in his life since he was a child; every part serving its purpose to make everything run smoothing in one way, from the specially made parts of an assembly line down to the very way biology has structured organisms. All of it served one purpose or another.
His career seemed to be quickly on the rise as in a few short months, the young man had climbed up from the bottom of the corporate ladder and seemed on his way to the top; a future he had envisioned making for himself far faster than he imagined. In a few more month did the company seemed to be on the path becoming multi-conglomerate, all thanks to the efficiency which he had designed their machines and assembly lines to run. But the depths of discord had rung its ugly head when the startup company had been busted by the FBI for money laundering schemes and corrupt political tampering, countless agents storming the facility and arresting most involved; with the heads of the company seized having vanished without any trace of them left. As the highest ranking member left among them, most of the blame had been pinned on him; and just like that, his unusually swift ascent to the top, granted by his superiors, had been realized in a far more tragic light. They didn’t see him as somebody filled with promise or an asset of grown, but rather a man to take the fall for the scheme they had been building all this time. With no one else to take the fall, the court of justice had thrown the book at him, all with no even a soul to fall back on to, not his coworkers, not his bosses, not even his family out in his home country. There was no one left to stop him from descending into the pits of state prison, doomed to waste half of his life on a crime he hadn’t committed.
Is this it? Had my life ended just as it was beginning? My future, my career, robbed right out from under my own two feet. But just as the path before him was plagued with suffering and troubles, a ray of hope and salvation had beamed through; his bail having been paid in full in that very same month. Thursotte was left speechless over how he had been swept away from cruel fate before him; tears rolling down his cheeks for the first time since he had been sentenced. His clothes and belongings back in his possession, Thursotte had been escorted out from the prison and straight out the front gate, where a woman with a pixie hair cut had been waiting to take him.
The van ride away from the state prison was quiet as countless questions swam through the young man’s head, all of them meant for the lady that had bailed him out from the concrete hellhole they leave behind, all for this complete stranger. A full minute of silence drags out as he decides which of the numerous questions that he had to ask this mysterious woman, finally opening his mouth and coming out with: “Why?” “Huh?” “It doesn’t make any sense. Nobody else believed me. The jury thought I deserved to rot back in that cell, all for something that I had no control over. So why out of everyone in that damn concrete hole did you fish me out?” “...Cause it be a helluva waste.” “Huh?” “Thursotte right? Your the kid that got that company you worked for on the map in just a few months. Letting somebody like you die in a shit hole like that would be a crime onto itself. A damn shame right there.” “So...you believe that I wasn’t the one behind that whole mess.” “Weather anybody believes you or not don’t matter anymore now. You’re a free man.” “Yeah, but this incident...it’s practically stained my life. Anybody I go to now will just see me as the guy involved in that political scheme. Even if they believe I didn’t do any of it, they won’t risk taking somebody like that in. They won’t see a man to hire anymore, they’ll just see a reputation to keep away from. In or out of that prison, my life was ruined then and there. I can’t even go back to my loving parents anymore, not with the borders thinking I’m a dirty money laundering crook...I...I just wanna go back home…” the young man weeps.
“So, branded by the system as a lost cause. All with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. Seems like a pretty bad hand life dealt you...But I think you got a few more cards that you could play.” “Wha…” Thurs utters, glancing back up to the lady driving. “I know some people that can appreciate your smarts and put a mind like yours to the fullest of use. So how about it, you wanna join my gang in the mob?” “The mo-...This is why you bailed me out, just to make me join another band of bastards!?” “I ain’t making you do anything, kid. Just showing you a road you could take. I admits its not a pretty one, but its one that might just be best for somebody in your shoes.” the woman assures him. “...Why me? Out of everyone, why take a chance on me?” “Well...someone took one on me when I was at my lowest; real piece of work, but a helluva heart behind them. Figure I might try my luck and do the same for somebody else out here, fish them out of a world that’s spat them out.” “...Just who are you?” “Hmm...Call me Frida.”
Streaks of light swiftly pass over the moving van that the dimensional psychic stands on top of; Frida keeping a sharp eye out for her solid swimming foe with her fingers ready at the trigger for any sign of the red headed bastard. Son of a bitch could pop out from any angle along this van, even right underneath my feet; I’m not sure if my trigger finger’s fast enough to pop a cap in him as soon as he surfaces. Still, the dick still has his faults; I know cause his powers are pretty similar to mine, just switch dimensions with solids. He’s gotta come up for air sooner or later, and I doubt he’s gonna get any from inside the bed of the van, not with it being stuffed with explosives and shit. Just listen for him gasping for air and make the shot; one bullet through the head and this van is ours. Knowing to listen to the sound of breath being drawn in, Frida keeps her ears, as well as her eyes, open for any sign of her foe emerging out from the airless inside of the ammo filled moving van; keeping her twin pistols aimed in opposite direction if he attempts to ambush from either side.
The dimensional psychic educated guess proves correct as she hears a sharp inhale sound out from behind her, quickly glancing back to find her ginger foe breaching the surface with daggers in hand; Tarot aiming the edge of his blade towards the back of her neck. Can’t shoot him in time! Rather then attempt to pop one off on the guy lunging at her, Frida opts to go on the defensive and guards against her foe’s weapon with the top of her pistol; the daggers sharp edge scrapping the iron top of the gun and keeping her neck in tact. But attempting to aim her pistol at the solid swimming psychic, the ginger gent swings his other dagger at the gun and keeps the barrel of the gun away from his body; both Frida and her foe left stuck as they keep the other from attacking.
The stalemate is suddenly broken when Tarot shoves the lady with the pixie cut away and sends her fumbling to the edge of the moving van; the solid swimmer delving back within the van as Frida tips off the side of the van’s roof. Yet the 2 dimensional psychic manages to save herself from completely falling off the side as she slips her foot into the edge of the roof and lets the rest of herself falling right into the side of the van in suite; Frida taking in a deep breath before her head merges with the wall of the vehicle. The 2 dimensional woman feels a sense of relief when managing to save herself from falling off the moving van entirely; though that reprise is swept aside when witnessing the pair of daggers brandished by her foe’s arms emerge out from both of her sides and thrusts their tips out against her. Frida slides across the surface of the van as she evades the knives that pierce through the thin metal hide. The 2 dimensional woman climbs back to the top of the van as she dodges her foe’s constant stabbings assault, returning to the 3rd dimension as she stands right back up on the roof. Dammit, I have even less of an advantage on the side of the van than I have up here. Son of a bitch can breach the surface faster than I can cross the dimensional plain. Feels like my best bet at this point is to stay on top and try to predict where he’ll spring next...or maybe I don’t need to predict where he’s gonna pop out.
Frida slowly backs away to the very corner of the moving van as she keeps her eyes to its flat top she stands on and the sides, keeping one pistol aimed out before her and another hanging along back; the woman with the pixie cut prepared for her foe to emerge from inside the van at any moment and attempt to strike her down. The sound of a sharp breath drawn sets off the alarms in her head that the ginger gent is making his move, but fails to see a single piece of his red head anywhere on top of the van or on its side; so she glances back to find him emerging out from the back corner, swinging his dagger out to the gun woman’s other leg. But Frida proves a step ahead as she twirls the pistol aiming downwards in his direction, pulling the trigger with her pinkie and managing to shoot at Tarot’s hand; the bullet piercing through the swimmers wrist and knocking one of his daggers out from his grasp, sending it hurdling away from the moving van. “Baited, you bitch!” Frida proclaims as her foe dives back into the van. Got him there, but something tells me that guy ain’t gonna fall for the same trick twice. Need to come up with another plan to put a bullet through his brains before he sticks his cold steel into mine.
“The hell do you mean you don’t know anything about her!?” Wedsle further questions the helmsman. “Annie? Swear I don’t, honest.” the man frighteningly claims. “Quit fucking lying to me!” “I promise I’m not. Look, all I know about her is that she took the job to help out with delivering the food donated and that she suggested we take the canal down. Said there’d be less chance of being robbed like that. That’s all I know! Please, don’t hurt me.” he begs, a wet stain growing in his pants. This guy might not be bullshitting after all. He could really think this was just some food run and that bitch left him in the dark; this poor bastard really was just set up as nothing but bait. The sweet nectar nestled right in the middle of this deadly Venus fly trap.
Left with virtually nowhere to run or hide, Satette stands right in the middle of the ships deck as she frantically peers around the sides of the boat for any sign of liquid rising up from the river surrounding them; her breathing uneasy as she remembers the blast of water she dodged earlier holding enough force to blast concrete apart. This is so much worse then I could’ve prepared for, played right in the enemies hands with practically nothing to defend myself with. I mean what are the chances of a pigeon or bat flapping right by out of convenience sake? The thought of transforming any passing avian lucky enough to roost right on this sailing ship draws her attention to the greenish waters of the canal, where she witnesses a lone bass leaping out from the surface. The fish in this river might make good weapons; But if I dip even a toe in the water, I might as well just be another body under its depth alongside all the other unsolved murders of New York. Dammit, there’s gotta be something around here I can use, maybe in the cabin.
Wondering such, Sat inches her way over to the door leading into the cabin and knocks on the door to grab her purple partner in crime’s attention; questioning him if: “You get anything else out from the helmsman?” “Nada, dude’s fucking in the dark here.” “Ah. Well, is there anything in there I can work my magic on? A stowaway dog, a snake, maybe a bird that flew in?” “Ummm...Oh, I know something?” “Yeah?” she happily utters, backing away from the door to let Weds step out.
As soon as the door leading into the cabin, the slight relief she feels over the purple psychic finding the key out off this mess diminishing as she sees Wedsle stepping out with the helmsman held in his clutches, claiming to her that: “Got your weapon in waiting right here, Sat. Should be enough meat and bone on this guy to make a whole arsenal, go ahead and get to crackin.” “Wait, what!” “Weds, I-...Are you out of you’re mind!?” Satette then barks. “The hell do you mean?” “What the hell do you mean what do I mean!? Take a person and distort their body into something else entirely?” “You do that all the time with snakes, bugs, and other animals.” “As opposed to a human being!?  Do you even know what your asking me to do!?” “Satette, we are going to die if we don’t do something here. We don’t have the luxury of considering morals and ethics when the jaws of death are looming over us. You wanna go with the certainty of us dying here, or do you wanna take the chance on using your powers on this guy hoping that he’ll live after?” “I...Ah…”
With little argument against her partner combined with their lives on the line, Satette fail to see any other compromise in this near hopeless situation and slowly begins to approach the helmsman trapped in her violet partners grasp; the man letting out frightened whimpers in the midst of his uncontrolled sniveling as the lively young lady approaches. Sat runs her natural green aura across her shaking palms as she slowly reaches towards the helpless mans, inching closer and closer to their victim as he braces himself for the worst. Alas, at just hair’s length of slapping her organic tissue influencing hands on the man, she stops short and backs away; tears running down her cheeks as she weeps that: “I can’t...I can’t do it. I don’t have it in me. Its...its just wrong.”
An act of refusal which proves detrimental when an unexpected jet of water is shot out from the side and pierces straight through her left shoulder; Wedsle struck horrified as the lively young woman is struck with enough force to send her flying off the boat. “Sat!” The blood from her wound splatters across the deck of the ship as Satette is cast off and falls down in the canal; a trail of crimson flowing across the greenish waters as her body down into the depths. Wedsle is left ultimately speechless having witnessed the demise of his fresh new partner in crime, the man that he had held slipping away from his grasp and frantically jumping ship as he screams: “That’s it, I’m getting out of here.”
“Shame.” the purple psychic suddenly hears come from the nose of the boat, turning his sites back to the front to witness a muscular figure donning armor made from river water emerging out from the canal and climb on board. “Had she had not held off, you two possibly would have at least escaped this watery hell with your lives.” The swirling water helm covering this persons head unravels to unveil the same woman with jet black locks had they had seen board the boat with the helmsman. “Her hesitance however had signed both her death warrant, and yours.”
Despite her words ringing true for the violet psychic, Wedsle nonetheless refuses to simply stand back and let this liquid controlling foe finish him where he stands as he makes a sudden charge out against her; swiftly nearing to drive his fist straight into his watery foe’s kidney. Yet his already hopeless efforts to at least strike back are shown to be in vain as the water guarding her body bursts with overwhelming; Weds battered by the water as the sheer force of the splash sends him slamming into the steel wall of the cabin. “I’m afraid your efforts are folly. I can control the water surrounding me to do whatever I want. You try anything and I’ll make it burst out with the force of a shotgun. There’s only one way out of this for you now and its the way your little friend took: Sleeping with the fish.” But even with these overwhelming and hopeless odds being explained to him, it fail to deter the purple psychic as lifts his battered and wet body off the deck of the ship and gets back up. Sat…I should’ve know better than to think someone so fresh in this business had the stomach to do something so callus towards somebody, especially with what we got in it for. If there’s even a remote chance in hell that you’re still alive after taking it in the shoulder, you better have some kind of plan boiling in your head.
The moving van’s drive into the beginning of the inner city highway starts growing crowded as numerous other vehicles move along with it, cars and trucks cruising close to its front and back as well as its sides. The drivers of these nearing automobile left astonished as they witness the two psychic fighting atop the moving truck, Frida moving across the two dimensional plane of the van while her foe swims through the inside as easily as water. When the 2 dimensional psychic is in the midst of returning to the 3rd dimension from the side of the van for a breath of air, Tarot breaches his arm out right beside her and swipes his dagger towards her head, Frida stopping his slash with the trigger guard of her gun. Before as the pixie cut gal could aim her other pistol right to her foe’s arm, his limb slinks back down underneath the surface of the van just when she was about to pull the trigger. Dammit!
Up on the top of the moving van, Tarot breaches the upper half to the surface so that he can take in a much needed breath of fresh air; the man swiftly peering through his surroundings as he catches his breath for a sign of his 2 dimensional foe. In his glance around does he discover the side of Frida’s upper half emerging out from edge of the van’s roof and pointing her pistol right at his face, Tarot making an upward slash at the woman’s gun and forcing her aim above just as she pulls the trigger; the bullet firing up and hitting the wall of a nearby building. Frida breach her other pistol up from the 2nd dimension and aims at her solid swimming foe to correct her mistake; the man quickly delving underneath the van’s surface just as she fires, the shot not even scratching him as he dives back down.
Shit! He’s playing way more cautiously now; making moves that he knows he can withdraw from in case I dodge or block any swings he throws at me. The size of this van ain’t helping my case either; being in an enclosed space makes it hard to aim at him in the split second; even if I did take away this asshole’s toys, he’ll still have the advantage of range. Need to figure out a way to stop this damn van if I want the field back on my side. Killing the driver might do it, but going in the driver’s section would close the distance between me and that solid swimming shit hole even more; it’d be a death sentence.  Could shoot the wheels and cause an accident like that, but who know’s how big of a payload these guys got stashed in here; if the spark of my bullet causes the rubber to ignite, this van could explode and take out the whole block along with all of us. Come on, Frida, think; before this guy figures out his next move.
Tarot swimming within the inside of the van meanwhile ponders on how to dispose of their unwanted passenger, thinking of ways to approach the woman without taking a bullet to the head. She’s rather adept at fending off close combat for somebody used to gun play; but the odds are still in my favor; as long as don’t completely breach the surface, I can dive back down before she has the chance to pull the trigger. Still, I need to do something to catch her off guard if I wanna make my move. She looked a little on edge before I delve back down; might be because she’s starting to realize the pickle she’s in. I imagine a brief fake out would be enough to lend me an opening and let me finish this scuffle before it gets too ugly.
Yet before the solid swimming psychic could come to the surface and enact his little strategy, he is suddenly jerked forward as he feels the van pound on the breaks; the unexpected momentum forcing him through the middle of the passenger seat, leaving the man and woman sitting inside utterly astonished by his sudden appearance between them. “T-Tarot!? What the heck!? H-How are you going through the seat like that!?” the guy squeals. “What?” the solid swimmer utters as he peers out the front window, finding the van having made a complete stop in front of another car. Puzzled over the moving van’s sudden halt on its route, Tarot violently clutches the woman at the wheel by her shirt collar, pulling her in to shout: “Why did you stop the van!?” “Agh! There was an accident up ahead; I had to stop.” “Don’t just sit there blathering, back it up now!” “I-I-I can’t.” Parked smack in the middle of the in city highway, a dozen other vehicles surround the small moving van; the van left with no other way out as the cars and trucks are put in park. “We’re totally boxed in.”
This doesn’t make sense, how could a simple accident cause this big of a traffic pile up so fast? Peering out the window does Tarot behold the scene of the accident involving broken road chunks left from bursting pipes, knocked over street lights, and debris fallen off from a building right beside the road. But what really catches his attention is the silver light running through some of the debris and lamps making up the blockade. Aura? So a psychic caused this. But how did-. Its in pondering how this accident accord that he remembers the exchange between his pistol wielding foe and her partner: “The hell are you waiting for. Cause an accident to happen.” he remembers her demanding. “But, but I can’t just-” “We don’t have time to think about what’ll occur! Do it now before that bastard comes back up again!” That little gremlin I knocked off, this must’ve been his work. They have to had review the route we were taking and he went between all the alleyways as a shortcut. They’ve had us pinned from the start!
Among the realization of their delivery jackers having been several steps ahead of them, Tarot peers behind the driver he still has in his grasp to discover the small barrel of his foe’s pistol aimed right at his head from the other side of the open window. Nice work, Thurs. Knew you’d pull through in the end. Just when Frida was about to bust a led cap in this solid swimming psychic, she hesitates when the guy jerks the driver right in the way of her shot as he retreats back into the van’s depths. Slippery motherfucker!
With very little point in staying anymore, the van he was meant to guard completely stuck in the still highway traffic, Tarot cuts his loses to makes his retreat diving into the concrete and swims away from the scene as fast as an Olympian fleeing from the encroaching mouth of a crocodile; moving underneath the beds of the cars and trucks as cover from the gun woman’s site line. Yet his escape proves not as clean as he hopes it turns out to be; as right in swimming in between the line of parked vehicles stuck in traffic, a bullet tears straight through Tarot’s bicep muscle. The solid swimmer clutches his shot arm as he glares back to where the bullet had came from, alarmed to find the 2 dimensional psychic having fired at him from right between a tiny space grazing the column of parked cars; all the while she sits half flattened on the side of a truck door. “You were dumb enough to boast, and even stupider to run away. You might’ve made it out of this alive if you didn’t decide to try your luck running from somebody with guns.”
Before the 2 dimensional gun woman could take another shot at him, Tarot delves down into the concrete and swims down below the highway streets; his swimming crippled from the bullet wound from both his arm and hand. The sewer. Its not ideal, but its my only way out; its my only escape from this horrible nightmare. Yet no matter how deep he manages to dives down under the city streets, all that awaits the concrete swimmer inside the sewage system was nothing but running water, all without even a bubble of air to bring him relief. Peering back to where the water rushes to, Tarot is astonished to find whole chunks of concrete having clogged the sewer line. What!? How the hell did the sewers cave in like this!?...The accident! Some chunk of the road broke down and must have sunk down here. They didn’t just trap the van, they trapped me here too.
The solid swimming psychic could feel the last of his air escaping from him before he could think of another exit out from the barricaded sewer system, leaving him little recourse but to rush back up to the surface before his lugs run out completely. This isn’t good. With my arm wounded so badly, I can’t swim fast to escape. The moment I go up for air, that pixie cut wench will hear me breathing and try to blow my brains out. There has to be somewhere I can hide to catch my breath. One of the cars, I can in one of the cars and wait it out til I make my escape.
In his return up to the surface, Tarot breaches into the passenger side of a truck stuck within the traffic to take in a much needed breath of air; his unexpected appearance causing the driver to jump right out of his seat and shout: “Yo, what the fuck!?” This sudden outcry draws the attention of the pistol wielding woman standing atop one of the cars nearby; Frida peering within to discover her solid swimming foe halfway above the passenger seat and takes aim through the closed window. The mere act of attempting to shoot her from inside the closed off insides, drawing out an amused chuckle from the guy. Go ahead and shoot at the window; the glass will tank a bullet or two long enough for me to dive back down and make my escape.
But again does his prediction fail to play out as Frida pulls the triggers and shoots a bullet straight towards Tarot’s head; the swimmers confidence breaking apart as he sees the shot bullet turn two dimensional on impact with the closed window and slide up and over the tiny crack hidden in between the top of the window and under the car roof. After slipping right into the other side of the window, the bullet returns to the third dimension and streaks right through the swimmers brains; the blood splattering out from the back of his head and staining the cushion of the passenger seats. “Holy shit!” driver witnessing this exclaims. Frida spins the tip of her freshly fired pistol right next to her mouth and blows away the smoke from the barrel as she watches the man she had shot slowly sink down through the seats, the guy raising his arm to the sky as he sinks through the truck and into the depths of the city underground. Huh. Neat.
The two within the moving vans seats are left utterly perplexed of what they had just come to witness; both the man and woman breathing heavily as they attempt to process the events that played out, the guy going: “So, Tarot just came through the wall...then a flat woman with a pistol slide across the window and tried shooting at us… but stopped when Tarot tried using you as a shield...Did I get all that right or…?” “I don’t know, man. I just wanna get this night over with and go home.” “Don’t sweat it, you’ll do just that.” a third among them assures, the driver completely frightened when gazing back to her friend to find the woman from earlier slipping through the crack of the window and emerging out from the wall as she holds one of her pistols against the back of the guy’s head. “You’ll make it home. Just as long as you take a little detour for us. That sound good too you?” “D-Do what she says, please.”
Racing away from the road collapse that he had triggered, Thursotte stops right in the middle of the street and peers out to the moving van filled with ammunition and explosives, searching for any sign of his two dimensional traversing partner in crime. Come on, Frida. Gimme a sign, anything to tell me if everything alright. In gazing to the side of the moving van, the chaos inducing psychic finds a two dimensional arm sliding out from inside the drivers side; Thurs nearly collapsing on his knees in relief when seeing the hand of his partner give him a thumbs up. Yes...we did it.
A thin streak of crimson floats across the greenish river as the ship continues to sail through the canal; the purple psychic on board evading the deathly whips of water flung out by his water controlling foe, with drops splashing against Wedsle face as the watery whip cracks. When her whip fails to land a hit against her ships stowaway, the muscular woman transforms the water surrounding her arm into a lethal blade and makes horizontal slashes out to the man dressed in violet; Weds ducking under and jumping over every swing his watery foe makes at him. Yet he fails to make it out from the flurry of swings completely unscathed, as the watery sword slides across his skin and makes a few cuts along his arms and legs. But despite having these wounds inflicted upon him, Wedsle refuses to give up as he makes a bounding leap right over another of Annie’s liquid slashes; the water controlling woman quickly forms a small cannon along the side of her liquid sword, pointing directly to the violet psychic in the midst of descending from his jump. Before Wedsle’s feet could even touch the ground, the cannon fires out a concentrated blast of water straight into his chest with enough force to send him sliding across the deck and slamming into the side of the cabin; the purple psychic entire body trembles as he lets out pained groan and clutches his chest. Agh! Yep. That’s definitely a broken rib.
“I don’t enjoy this either, you know.” he then hears Annie proclaim. “Says the watery bitch holding all the cards.” Weds growls back. “His holiness had assigned me to this task as a form of security; though I prayed that no trouble would come in our sailing trip through this canal. Not for our sake, but for those who you serve would send to their doom.” “So you know what’s all stashed in this tugboat. Ain’t it a little hypocritical for you guys to be getting weapons?” “I can understand why you make that assumption. The hypocrisy sickens me to my core as well. But when hearing the exploits of your masters and the corrupting stranglehold they held on this fair city; his holiness made me understand that keeping to my values would not be enough. That in order to protect those which I hold dear, I would have to turn my back against all that I’ve been taught thus far. I’m sure you can understand given your position.”
Amidst listening to the water controlling psychic to him about compromising her values for what she claims to be the sake of others, Wedsle’s attention is drawn over to the trail of scarlet floating over the waters surface; the violet mobster noticing the red moving back towards the boat. Wait, how did Sat’s blood move like that? The current’s not strong enough to carry it this close towards the boat. Unless...She’s alive; and in the midst of making her move! Can’t let this liquid bitch catch on, need to distract her.
“How do you figure that?” he retorts back with his best poker face. “I’m aware that those among your ranks are not as sinful as your superiors; some of you took part in this due to unfortunate circumstance. Needing the finances to save a loved one, driven by the hope of escaping from poverty, or simply having been forsaken by this cruel world with no other path to survive. My soul truly does weep for you.” “If you figured that, then why mercilessly slaughter us like fucking cows in a butcher factory? You think there ain’t any better solutions than just self righteous murder?” “Not with the stakes this dire, I’m afraid. I’m sure you understand the blasphemous powers other’s like you and I possess. I’ve been told by his holiness that your superiors holds abilities unlike anything we have come to witness, those which could steer the course of this worlds fate.” Wait, these guys know about the boss? Do they really have that kind of power? “With the evil holding this city in its clutches, growing in power by the day, I’m afraid there is little time for us to  sort which of you deserve judgment or not. The day of reckoning is upon us, and with its approach, we must act.” Annie regretfully informs, clasping her watery arms together to form a sharp great scythe. “I am truly sorry. My only prayer left for you is that God grants you mercy.” A prayer which the water controlling woman carries out as she thrust the sharp tip of her liquid scythe at the injured mobster at her mercy.
But when just short of plunging the tip of her watery weapon through the man’s flesh, the liquid controlling psychic feels a sharp pain drive itself into her back; quickly glancing over to discover the young woman she had blasted off the ship not long ago on her back; what she stabbed with her back side being a knife made of thin bone, flesh and scales. Annie’s armor reflexively knocks her thought to be dead foe off her with a blast of water, sending the lively lady off and slam into the guard rail with enough force to dent the metal. Even with having repelled her purple foe’s partner off, the liquid manipulating psychic is still left at an astonishing loss over the woman’s return from her watery grave, questioning aloud: “I made clean shot straight into your shoulder! How in God’s name have you not bled to death!?” Upon gazing to where she had blasted the young woman does she find her answer when seeing a patch of gnarly green algae covering her shoulder; Annie admitting that: “You used the algae laying on the bottom of the canal to shut your wound? Unsanitary, though I admire the quick thinking. However…” The watery psychic withdraws her scythe away from Wedsle and returns her liquid limbs to her side; forming them both into a pair of great hammers as she claims that: “You would’ve been better off following my partners example and fleeing to live another day.” “And leave my partner to die in your hands? Hell no! I ain’t gonna just ditch my buddies when the water starts to simmer.” “I see. Even in the face of death, you refuse to abandoned those close to you. Your loyalty is truly admirable. I have no doubts that even with transgressions weighing against you, the gates of heaven will be open to you when you pass.”
Even with the threat of the liquid psychic brandishing such deathly water weapons against her, Satette’s confidence fail to waver as she peeks behind her foe to Wedsle sitting against the wall and ask: “Yo, Weds. You okay back there?” “Yeah. Just a broken rib or two. I’ll live.” “Cool, hey. I was thinking about stopping by to pick up some food for me and my girl. You know of any good food around here?” “Uh, depends on what you want. Chinese?” “Nah, we had that few nights ago. Thinking of something a little more zesty.” “I’d say Italian, but the only thing around here is Olive garden. Those motherfuckers burnt by 40 dollar pasta, its bullshit.” “Oh yeah. The pizza there’s awful too; swear its nothing but glue on cardboard.” “Maybe get pizza from somewhere else then, plenty of places around here.” “Long as it ain’t Little Caesars. Every time I get pizza from there, I wind up getting terrible shits the following morning.” “Too much info there, but good call. There’s this one joint we stopped by that had the fuckin fluffiest melt in your mouth bread ever. Shit felt like eating a cloud with toppings.” “Really? What it called?” “Trying to remember, it had weird ass name. Monty might know, he’s better at remembering this shit than me? I think that-”
“Enough!” Annie suddenly demands, lunging out against the lively psychic with twin hammers in tow. Before she faces her foe’s watery wrath, Sat delves right underneath the muscular woman’s legs to evade her pinching assault, the pair of hammers letting out a wet ting as their head hit each other. “Arrogant little...You speak as if you’ve already won, but I still stand alive and well. If you wish to travel through the gates of heaven, such pride must be tempered before the journey.” The liquid controlling psychic again swings out at her retreating foe, stretching the necks of the hammers out after her and making horizontal swings; Satette ducking and leaping right under and over every sweeping assault Annie makes. That’s it, keep swinging. Just little longer now.
“Do you sincerely believe you have the best of me just because I can’t strike this ship?” the watery psychic wonders. “I wouldn’t say believe, more like I do.” “Well then. I suppose that confident won’t do you much good when it buckles under you.” “Under?” Sat utters, driving her eyes down to the deck she stands on. The lively psychic is left alarmed when glancing down to her feet, discovering herself standing right in the middle of a thin puddle of river water covering a chunk of the deck. Annie reforms her arm and thrusts it straight down into this sheet of water, causing a powerful upwards geyser to be unleashed from its surface; one so powerful, it sends Sat flying a dozen feet hurdling above the canal. The liquid controlling psychic’s other arm reforms into the shape of a small cannon; water gathering within as she aims the end of the weapon directly at her flying foe. “May your flesh enter sanctuary and your soul be forever blessed in the name of the lord, Ame- Ah...Ah!” Just mere seconds before Annie could blast the water gathered in her cannon, a terrible pain courses through her body that causes her aim to falter as she launches the high pressure water ball; the cannon ball streaking just a few inches away beside Sat as it rockets up towards the pitch black night sky.
Despite having evaded the high velocity water cannon by the skin of her teeth, Satette continues to plummet back down to the Earth; threatening plunge back into the canal. But the young woman is spared from falling into her watery grave when she’s saved just in the nick of time, Wedsle having reached out from the side of the ship and caught her in his arms; the violet psychic letting out a painful hiss as he pull Sat back onto the deck. “Nice catch. You okay?” “Yeah, I’m fine. But what the hell is up with her?” Weds wonders, pointing over to the woman that had just launched her in the sky. The layer of river water had shielded Annie’s body melts off to reveal the liquid psychic violently shaking and convulsing in agony. Her breathing growing extremely heavy as she falls to her knees; a stream of vomit suddenly expelling out from her mouth. “About time the algae I stabbed in her started kicking in.” “Whoa, what?”
“Algae...how did…?” their foe utters in between breaths, suddenly remembering the knife that was plunged into her back; the tip having been coated in a layer of river algae. “But...your shoulder...how...are you not...in agony!?” “I kept the algae covering my wound from seeping any further in my body, just enough to stop me from bleeding. But I had the layer of green I stabbed in you force itself through your body and spread all over to accelerate the toxins. How does it feel vomiting your guts out, I imagine it hurts like hell.” “You little...witch!” Annie grunts, reaching around her back to try and pull the knife in her back out. But when feeling across her backside for where she had been stabbed, all that the watery psychic could feel back there was a small hole left where the dagger had been stuck into; the panic in Annie’s voice growing as she shouts: “That little knife?...Where’d...Did it get blasted off?” “Guess again, you wicked wet hag? That knife I plunged into you didn’t just come out of nowhere. While I was taking a swim through the canal, I manage to snag a carp straight out from its commute and morph it into the weapon I plunged straight into your back. I’ll give you one chance to guess where that little guys is now.” “No…”
As if right on queue, the liquid controlling psychic feels something burrow through her insides, the side of her lower torso bulging out until a river bass comes bursting out from her stomach in a mess of mucus and blood; Annie vomiting out a mixture of bile and blood as the fish squirms out from her body. “Holy shit!?” Wedsle screams. “You...You devil!” their foe screeches, using her power to make the river water surrounding them burst out in several columns of gushing water; these pillars of river water taking the form of an entire arsenal of cannons and weapons aimed squarely down towards the boat all of them stand on. But all that wound up raining from the sky be nothing a small drizzle as the columns break apart and splash back down into the canal; the muscular woman that held their influence collapsing onto the deck and dropping dead where she stood, with her leaking blood diluting with the puddles of river water.
A relieving sigh escapes from Sat’s mouth as the boat both her and Wedsle stand in finally comes to a complete stop in the middle of the canal; the two of them lying down against the side of the ship as they bask in the now peaceful river. “That had me on edge for a good minute there. Thought for sure one of us was gonna wind up drowned and waterlogged; washing up on the shore and chalked off as nothing but another body among the dozen other’s under the waves. Glad I thought of that river moss trick. Right?” Satette gleefully basks in, but is left worried when her purple partner in crime fails to respond. “We-Weds...You doing alright?” “Yeah, just...You scared the shit outta me for a sec there…” “Eh, don’t worry. We got outta that in the end.” “Cause we lucked out.” “Oh, come on. Don’t be-” “Satette, I’m serious. The only reason our sorry asses lived through this sopping wet nightmare was because the right pieces were with us at the right time. If even any one of them weren’t here, neither of us would be even so much as breathing right now.” Wedsle claims. “Your...point?” “I ain’t the kind of guy that likes relying on luck; shit like that can turn at the spur of the moment and fuck you over. I saw an opportunity for us to make our escape and you were scared to go through with it.” “What? Us-using the helmsman back there. I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t-” “None of us can rely on the fickle hand of lady luck to bail us out; especially when she’s dealt all of us bad hands most of our lives.  How far do you think sticking to your guns’ll get ya in this kind of business; telling yourself that you won’t stoop to some artificially placed level before you wind up dead in some ditch?” “Weds, I-” “In our line of work, with what were trying to do here; the people going against us won’t hesitate for a single second to do anything if it means taking home the gold, even if that involves doing monstrously heinous shit to our fellow man. Not the mob, not the cult, and neither can we. We’ll be left remembered as nothing but a stepping stone on their way to the top.” “So what? You just want me to be some kind of monstrous, callous bitch that uses people!?” “No, just...You can’t take an opportunity for granted when our lives are on the line. Believe when I say that I wish that weren’t the case, but like I said, we don’t have that luxury anymore, not the rest of the tight spots were forced to go through if we want to make our dreams a reality.” “I...Agh…” the lively young woman sighs, lowering her head down into her knees. “Where’s that pizza place you were talking about again?”
The breeze from the canal slithers southwest through the city and seeps into to every open window set along 20 miles along that direction; this blissful night air cooling every apartment along the way, including the abode of Sat and her lover as they enjoy the steaming hot pizza she had brought home for them both. “I-I just don’t know what to do, Janna. I can see where Wedsle’s coming from in all this, but it still just doesn’t feel right. I know the mob and cult wouldn’t stop from doing the same, but still; even when in my head it made complete sense, the moment I reached for the guy driving the ship, I couldn’t do it; It just felt like my heart and soul were pulling me back what my brain was trying. All of it’s making me wonder if I have the stomach to go through with breaking the mobs hierarchy if it means I got to use innocent people like that.” “Satsy, I know where your coming from; people like the mob already drag this world down for the worse. But I don’t think your taking this dilemma in the right way.” “The right way of using people for your own ends?” “Or for others. Your not putting yourself through this just for your sake; you’ve seen what those mobsters done to the people of this city for their own ends, even going so far as to push drugs on down on their luck kids living on the streets. You on the other hand aren’t doing it for yourself, your doing it for everyone around you; to make this rats nest of a city a better place for people. Keep that in mind the next time your in that kind of predicament.” “I don’t know, just going that far? Won’t I turn out just as bad as them?”
“Satsy, no; Your fearing the hypocrisy more than the consequences. It…The situation can vary, but it’s like that whole dilemma with kill or be killed, in a position with an irredeemable serial killer; and if they don’t, there’s a good chance that they or someone they know and love is gonna die. What do you think the more practical option is best for them, that they just stand on the sidelines and watch the people suffer, knowing they stuck to their guns and didn’t betray their code; or...Using someone else to kill the guy and save the people you care for, despite breaking your vow.” “I guess, but isn’t there still a line?” “Of course there is, I-It largely depends on the situation though. Like don’t go rushing into something without taking all in first, that’s how ill action happens. Don’t go terrorizing a bunch of people just cause their ethnic group is blamed for your problems. Come on. Just...see the bigger picture and find what’s really the root cause of it. Put the weapon down, you jackass.”
“Then what would you have done...in my case.” Sat then straight up asks her girlfriend. “In a life or death thing like that, umm...I know your not gonna like hearing this, but-” “You’d use that innocent helmsman to protect yourself...and the people with you.” “I know it sounds pretty damn bad. But some people, weather they wanna or not, are kinda are forced to do stuff like that to survive. Stealing stuff, scamming people, working for heinous organizations; when it comes to living another day, those things might just be their only option. It sucks, but that’s the way this morally dubious world works for...probably half, maybe more people.” “I don’t...Agh…” Sat groans, slinking down into their couch. “But as long there’s people like you willing to put themselves out there for others, it might not have to be as bad as that.” Janna claims, this sentiment urging her girl to glance back to her. “You think so?” “I know so. If history has told us anything, it takes just one person starting a wave to changes the world. And it wasn’t cause they were destined to or some other shitty story cliché like that, it was them. It was cause of who they are that they drove the world for the better or for the worse. So Sats, tell me what you want. Why are facing these seemingly impossible odds?”
Upon being questioned of her dream, Satette remembers the scene she had witnessed of a drug dealer trading cocaine to a desperate young child for money, the couple that fought over their money woes and the other’s drug habits, and to the camp of homeless souls left to sit underneath the highway. Even remembering her own woes in life, her father’s passing, the struggling of living in the streets. Each of these people and experiences made the answer clear to her. “I wanna take over the mob and use their power and influence to help others instead of hurting them.” “Then that’s all you need to know to change life for the better.” “Sweets...thank you.” “Don’t mention it, now come here.” Janna concludes, leaning in to Sat to give her girl an embracing kiss. But just when the two of them were enjoying each others warming holds, Satette suddenly feels Janna swiftly pull herself away; the lively young woman wondering: “W-what’s wrong?” “Girl, your breath is hella nasty! How much of that garlic butter did you take in?” “Hey, you don’t got anything to stand on either, what with you ordering mushrooms and fish on your half.” Upon accusing one another of their foul breath, both girls break out into giggling laughter as they hold each other tighter; Janna softly claiming that: “I love you.” “I love you too.”
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