im sleepy but heres a lil frye team alien costume concept... space gal. might expand on this after i sleep
[image description: a drawing of frye from splatoon in an alien-themed outfit. her tentacle hair is purple that fades into bright green, and her outfit consists of a dark grey sleeveless bodysuit with bright green accents, matching toeless socks, a white puffy jacket pulled down around her waist, bright green rubber gloves, a star-shaped earring, and a ufo-shaped headpiece. end id]
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I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
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Doodled a bunch of Avid Adventures things recently!
Drew designs for Marmalade, Avid and Lizzie! (Girls night)
a bunch of doodles for the 100 traps video because such a good video everyone should go watch it now. (Link to it here) plus doodles of my headcannon Avid's spectator mod is a little drone bot thing.
oh also was on a whiteboard a few days back so these are all from that!
Past this point is kinda spoilers for some of the things that happen in Avid adventures!
I highly recommend everyone watch Avid Adventures because holy cow is the command work Avid does in it so impressive but also the videos themselves are so fun to watch!
(you can find the playlist link here!)
Design Ideas for how Avid looked before and after freeing Vilethorn!
sometimes you just have to draw a bit of Endermen Avid and totally human yes yes Avid as a treat!
Actually not over the Vilethorn dark path at all and had to draw Usim's final word because they go so hard and OW BOTH THE INTRO AND END OF THE FIGHT HURT ME OW.
Time traveler Avid (Dark path Avid I guess? don't really understand whats up with him yet.) my beloved. I want to throw him off a bridge with lava so bad its great.
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Can we see your durge? :oc if not no worries I'm just curious!
Of course! Have a lil WIP of her in all her evil glory 🥰 (Hope I can finish this anytime in the next century lol)
Her name is Sandra, she's a war cleric of Gruumsh/oathbreaker paladin and she's Totally Bad Not Good Unredeemable. I haven't posted much about her bc I'm still in ACT1 with her (Im replaying Khael and campagn that takes priority).
fun fact before I even got through half of ACT1 of all the compainons only Astarion and Shadowheart were alive/present. I dont know how long theyre going to last though lmaooo
She's another iteration of my DnD character Alasandra, who Ive played for a couple years in a homebrew campagn! I also played with her in Solasta (another DnD game, that I suggest checking out!) He's all three of her together for the meme:
I also technically have a Redeemed Durge character that's based on another DnD character! His name is Chan, he's a warlock and a cinnamon roll who can do no wrong 🥹 (which makes me chosing him as a durge an awful parent)
and here's how he looks like!
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My Death Mark OC is done!
This is Hagihara Rina. She is a very timid and shy person.
A small profile:
Age: between 35-40
Height: 5'4 (162 cm)
Weight: 119lbs (54 kilos)
Occupation: part-time florist at "Myazakis Flowerfield"
She is the middle child of three children. Her older sister is called Nao, and her younger brother is called Yasu. Her parents are called Hagihara Toshiro (her dad) and Okabe Kaori (her mom). They have been divorced since Rina was an early teenager. Her father left with Yasu, and Rina and Nao were homeschooled since then.
She loves to nit, sew, and everything like that. Takes care of some specific flowers in the shop (for example: she grows her own daffodils). She has worked at the flower shop since she was a teenager. The owners of the shop are the elderly couple Daichi and Jun Myazaki, and they act as her adoptive grandparents. Her favourite colour is anything between pink and red and her favourite flower is the daffodil.
Uuuuuuh I think that is all I wanna say for now?? Since I actually plan to write a fanfiction for her (not in the scale as Firelight AU is turning out to be). So there is not much backstory I can give here except for the divorce part. Finally, I have a character that doesn't have a green/grey/brown/blue-palette! I am not the biggest fan of pink or red personally, but I wanted to draw a character with pink being their primary colour for sooo looong! And I actually finally have one! WOOOOO!
Also I made up her weight based off of my own height and weight ratio + taking in her current mental state (which is just a shit show) and converted it from cm to pound. I wanted to compare it to Yashikis weigth and hoo boy! His weight doesn't really match his height (he weighs around 137lbs (62 kg)) which is as much as I do in real life! And I am tiny comapred to him! (He is 5'11 (180 cm) while I'm 5'3 (162 cm)) So that took a few years of my life. But that just shows how good his character design is as you can really see his lankiness. (And I'm getting off track, this is about my OC not Yashiki. Move over, old man!)
ANYWAY! Tell me what you think in the comments! (Close ups under keep reading)
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