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#That's Nature for you in a nutshell. Always dealing off the bottom of the pack. No wonder they called her a mother.
vaguely-concerned · 1 year
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listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.
I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.
and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.
(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)
basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.
the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.
instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.
it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight
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peachyjie · 6 years
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Royals and Diamonds || Huang Justin
— Author Note :
Hey, she’s back and settling down once again to write.
Being fair, I really miss writing during my hiatus. I swear I thirst so much to pull my hands and type during my time in the hotel room all alone with just my phone. So, here I am. I dedicate this piece as my comeback from that hiatus, sorry for the long wait guys. Enjoy :)
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— Wc : 7K+
— Pairing : Huang Ming Hao - Reader
— Genre : Royal!au + slight!angst + fluff
— Summary : A caretaker and a royal, being faced by their feelings. Where’s the only problem is the question if a royal can ever be together with a lower rank status or not? Will it ever be a sin if such royal decided to dedicate his future by breaking his own royal law?
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Huang Ming Hao, Justin Huang. Isn’t it cute to suddenly imagine him being a royal? The next heir to rule on the throne of the Huang Kingdom, the young growing teen who’s growing into a very dashing fine man despite he’s only 15?
To compound Justin Huang in a nutshell will be hard, because his life is too complex to even be put into a small compartment to be concluded. Let’s start from his early days, despite he is the youngest out of the 9 Power Kingdom. This is the early life of Huang Justin, the royal of the Huang Kingdom. The child who’s already destined which path he should take, without any freedom to choose his future as he was forced to be what he is born for.
The Kingdom of Huang, a place or kingdom where the sun shines the brightest. All seasons always warm and cheerful, where the skies stay blue even when a light shower came. The land filled with smiles and cheers, peace and endless love to the royal family.
Justin is born with love and attention, love from both of his royal families and love from his own citizen who celebrated his arrival to the world. He was more than proud to be born and raised as a royal, despite having the packed schedule to study and train and study and train again. He didn’t mind it one bit, he always dreamed for his time to come and lead the Kingdom. He wants to be ready.
He could say that he’s well acquaintance with the other 8 Kingdoms in view. He aspired to be as powerful like a Wang one day, to fight well like the Fan, to negotiate beautifully like a Chen, but not get himself killed like a Cai.
To say it directly, he hated the Cai. He hated their ego, their pride to think they’re the best when everyone knew it’s the Wang without a second glance. But also, because Xukun once broke his train sets when he was like 7 or something and never even apologize to him. Call him petty to hold onto that grudge for 5 years already, he didn’t care.
Huang Justin is also hard-headed, very self-centered and too independent. He doesn’t like being bothered, to be more precise he doesn’t necessarily like being helped or babied. So, when his parents bought him a caretaker when he was 12, he pretty much hated everything about her. He finds her very much too annoying and too bossy, he finds her babying him too much on his studies, he finds her too uptight on his own schedule, and he finds her babying him too much.
He hated you
You weren’t a natural born royal, but you grew up and spend most of your childhood in the Huang’s humble castle grounds. Being the daughter of the most loyal and trustful servant of the king and queen, you already knew where your path lies.
To serve and obey the royal, and you didn’t mind it one bit. You know the simple etiquette for a royal, discipline and polite, and calm. Well you tried to be calm dealing with the lovable prince of Huang. Despite they say he’s already very much very mature for his age, you would say otherwise.
Because you’re not dealing with an actual royal, a mature soon-to-be crowned king.
You were dealing with an actual child
He was only 12 when you first met him, a 4 years gap which wasn’t so bad. You were a teen and he was growing into one, you hope. The thing that irk you was his putrid manner, he literally ignored your whole existence when you came into his life. Like a little prick, he does everything to make your life like hell.
Like Justin explained before, he doesn’t like being babied and being told off to. So, when you came barging into his life, he sees you more of a brick wall that will just interfere with his future plan. Hence making him the most annoying kid in the whole universe.
“That’s not the spoon we use to drink the soup, Prince Huang”, you once said to him. He only stared at you, a visible glint of mischief in his eyes.
“I do what I want”, he said. Purposely he would throw his dining utensils between one another to make those annoying clinking sound, which would surely get him kicked out in a formal dining between the royals dinner or such. So, what did you do? Forcement method, make him learn the hard way.
Oh, you can so conclude he hated you more since then.
Surprisingly, 2 years passed like a swish and you managed to cope up with his antics, tantrums, whatever you want to call it. You could say you lost count on how many headaches you’ve handled, how much pent up emotions you wished you could direct it all out to him, and how amazing you manage to not murder the favorable angel of the Kingdom.
You thought you had to deal with more of his tantrum on the following years, it was until the extent you tried to believe and pray for miracle to happen.
And it did, that miracle is the most lovable, mature, actual human sunshine Chen Li Nong. You could never be more grateful of his existence making a surprise visit to the Huang. Linong literally made the stop to rest at the Huang’s humble home after striking the all time deal with the You Kingdom. Giving you the one and only chance to see Justin being all giddy and less than annoying for the first time in your life.
“Ahh, you must be this child’s caretaker?”, he said. You smiled politely at him and my oh my, he was literally the actual definition of an actual living sunshine. “Linong, Chen Li Nong from the Chen Region”, he introduced himself. “Your stay is our greatest pleasure, Prince Chen”, you said before he was dragged out by Justin to catch up.
Linong stared when they were already in a decent distant from you, he stared at the younger. “I don’t understand you sometimes, Huang”, he said. Justin only scoffed and guided him to the guest room Linong usually occupied when he plays to his kingdom.
Linong slumped down on the bed, feeling the relief to feel an actual mattress instead of velvet cushioned chair. “She’s a beautiful muse, perfect”, Linong said as he faced Justin who’s opening the window to let fresh air in the bedroom.
“She is”, Justin said. A small smile played on the yellow turnip’s face, his eyes glints in wonder. Linong stared at the younger in amusement, he finds his own limbs take place to where the younger is standing. His eyes locked on your figure, who’s chatting aimlessly with one of the servants who’s trimming the bushes. Justin awed a little on the small interaction, which caught Linong in surprise.
“You like her”, Linong stated.
Justin only stared at Linong, his chin resting on his hands which are being held by the windowsill. His eyes locked on Linong’s which is filled with excitement, his was filled with adoration. He pulled up a bigger smile, his cheek slightly tinted.
“I never said I hated her, have I?”
“Well you made it seems like you do”, Linong pointed out. Justin only hummed in approval, the older wasn’t wrong. “I don’t deal with feelings too well, you know this”, he said.
“Ahh, a 14 year old sprouting love”, the sunshine teased. Justin only smiled adoringly, his eyes still glued at you who’s laughing for whatever had happened.
“Who knows, maybe it’s only puppy love or such.”, he said. “But I never hate her, I would never”
*****
You would never know what did Linong do to Justin during his short stay, all you knew the progress happened quickly. Mostly, you assumed Justin was on his puberty mood-swing phase and ended up being the nicest kid when he hits his 15.
He would still annoy you whenever he can, but it wasn’t too much of a hassle. At least he did open up to you, just a slight change but it was better than nothing.
Wearing your usual outfit, a simple white shirt with a pair of black jeans. A small yellow diamond rested itself on your collar, a symbol of the Kingdom’s warmth and color. It was tea time, or more to a sugar spree for the young prince.
He hummed when he caught the scent of the freshly brewed tea, paired with the sound of the fluid gentle flow as it hits the bottom of the porcelain teacup. “Two cubes”, he said in pure excitement on the sight of the cubes. You chuckled and nodded.
“I know”, you said and plumped two in his fair of cup.
Slowly he took the warm cup, sipping it slowly to not burn the tongue of his.
Tea time, in the meaning also as his alone time to relax and forget as he feeds himself away in a sugar rush. You began tidying the table bit by bit, occasionally filling his cup whenever it’s almost empty as he devours the shortcake and scones on his plates.
He would occasionally let out a small sight in content, his lips tugged into what you would call an angelic smile.
Beautiful
“Come with me”, he spoke out suddenly.
Your hands stopped every movement, afraid losing any balance and would ruin the expensive porcelain his family got from England. You stare at him, slight confusion in your eyes.
He smiled, sweet like honey and soft like the clouds.
“To the gala, come with me”, he said. The gala, the annual gala everyone had waited for the entire year. How could you forget such important date, The Cai’s Annual Gala
“Your mother already disapproves this”, you calmly stated. Taking another sweet to put on his plate but he only shook his head as his eyes still locks on yours.
“Your mother already found your own partner, I heard she’s the younger sibling of Prince Fan”, you said mindlessly tidying the plates and cups. You knew this already, he had been bugging you and simply asking you the same question every single time, every single moment. You rejected him all the time, despite the countless rejection for the past month, he still ask you anyways.
“I am not fit for such thing”, you said. He stared at you, a little bit of sad glaze slides in his eyes. You sighed. “I am not a royal, I am not fit to go to such high meeting”, you concluded.
“But, you have me. I am a royal”, he said in a persistent tone. “I have to go with a partner, Y/N. And I can’t go without a partner, where shall my face land?”, he whined.
You smiled a little at his tone, like a small child asking for a candy
“That’s why your mother already found and arrange your meeting with young Princess Fan”, you said as you tried to shut him off. “Go with her, you’ll have fun”, you assured him.
“If it’s not you—“, he trails. His eyes locks at yours, raw and tension mixed in one as his orbs pierced itself on yours. You gulped on the sudden intensity the young royal gave out, a somewhat dominating presence.
“—I’m not going”, he said.
“What nonsense are you playing?!”, you jumped by the sudden shriek whilst he was unbothered. He stares at the intruder in such boring gaze, you thought he would fall asleep in spot.
It wasn’t a joke, or a simple prank to give anyone a heart attack. He didn’t mind going with his caretaker, the only person who knows him despite his torture on her for the past 3 years. He finds himself more comfortable around her, he was able to be himself when she’s around. He’s serious on bringing you to the annual ball, he didn’t care if you’re not a royal. To him, you’re far more worth than a royal. Beautiful and elegant in your own way, intimidating and fierce in an amazing way.
He loves it
“M-My Queen”, you stuttered out as you bowed at his mother, the Queen herself stood in front of you.
“Rise, my child”, she said shortly.
The young prince didn’t do anything, he just stood there watching without even giving a single bow to his own mother. You stare in horror at his etiquette and beg him to not let his ego win. Well, what did you expect? He simply threw his face away from his own mother, the queen to pay interest in those tea leaves that had been stuck on the white surface of the teacup.
His mother didn’t pay any mind towards her son’s attitude, she knew this is one of his petty pest taking over him. You only stared in horror, the amount of odd string being pulled between the Queen herself and her own son who paid no mind to her existence.
“I-I am sorry by his sudden behavior, my Queen”, you splashed the words out in a hurry. The young royal only stared at you in a sad glance, it wasn’t even in your place to protect him.
“What do you want, mother?”, he said.
You swore, you wished you could slap the ego in his voice as it was laced with pure cockiness and a sack of pride. “That’s not a tone to be used when you speak to your mother”, the Queen glared at her own son.
When she turned her head to face yours, you sucked up a breath hoping for the best.
“I would want to have a word to my son, Y/N”, she said. “Privately”, she ended in a press. You nodded and soon took your leave despite the gaze the young royal gave out as a sign for you to stay by his side. But you didn’t pay any mind to his silent plead, it wasn’t your place to be anyway.
When both has seen your silhouette disappeared, shadow swallowed in the far end of the garden’s door, the mother spoke out again.
“It’s the Cai’s Annual Gala, I suppose you knows how we are always invited every year”, she stated. He only grumbled and decided to find other objects to pay his mind on. Either it was the sunny blue skies or the green fresh trees.
“I’m not dumb, I know what this Gala meant to our family”, he said coldly.
“Good”, she smiled proudly. “You’ll be leaving in a week, I’ve arranged your suit and other jewelries for you to be worn in the Gala later on. About your partner, I’ve received the letter from the Fan this morning, such lovely young lady who’s smitten by—"
“I will not go to the gala with the Fan’s sister, mother”, he hissed out. The older female only stared at her son in surprise. “I’m not giving my hand to be held unwillingly by the Fan’s, she’s smitten by another royal and I’m not in place to make such drama”
“Then who do you have in mind?”, she stared at him coldly.
A tug of mischief finds itself on his eyes and mouth, he stare at his mother. “That, I think you know who I have in mind”
“You are not taking your caretaker as your partner to the gala”, she hissed out like venom.
“Then I’m not going”, he said as he stood up from his seat. His mother stared at him in horror, a royal and a low life in the Cai’s gala, stupid.
“What game are you playing against your status and this Kingdom?!”, her hand slammed loudly on the glass table, impacting the other porcelain as it clutters against each other by the sudden force. “You have your responsibility as the next heir, I did not teach you to be such a brat!”
He stared at his own mother in amusement, it had been some time since she let her fury out. But he knew, he was winning.
“I have my own responsibility as a soon-to-be King, I realized that”, he travels out the words slowly. Irking the tone, making it very much spiteful.
“But I also my own rights to choose my own path, mother”, he said.
“NONESENSE!”, she spites back at her son, he didn’t waver a single bit on her tone
“You never raised me to be a true King, mother”, he stared at the Queen coldly. Each words were like venom and knives piercing themselves on his mother. “I was raised by the royal tutor, he who teaches me all the knowledge and responsibility that lies upon me. I was raised by my father, a true king and fighter who fought in many wars as he teaches me how to be strong for myself and for the kingdom. It was a shame he died before I could even properly hold my sword—“, he chuckled
But I was raised by my caretaker the most, she who teaches me etiquette, accompanied me during my self-defense class, who knows not just my schedule but also who I am. You never raised me, you forced me into things I never wanted”
The fury in her eyes poured out a bigger fire in her system, she swung her hand to her son’s face. He knows her antics, before long he stops the sudden force as he held his mother’s hand in place, firmly. A look of disbelief on her face, her mouth gapes open by the sudden action.
“You are not forcing me into your wishes without my consent, mother”, he hissed out. “I am not going to sit down silently as you make plans to a future where I am miserable. I have my own rights to choose where my path lies, as a prince and as a soon-to-be King”, he said as his grip tightened a little on the Queen’s hand.
“You don’t even have anyone to wed to be a King”, she said back
This made him smile, a glint of softness in his once cold gaze. “That’s what you thought”, he said calmly.
“I know my future, from who I shall bring to the gala as I introduced the girl in my hands proudly to the other royal until who I shall marry in the future making her a queen, my queen”
And with that he throws the Queen’s hand from his grip, taking his leave without a single bid of goodbye to his mother.
He wasn’t letting her control him anymore, its not her place. He wasn’t going to live in a life where he’s being controlled against his own will, he wasn’t going to live in a life where he’s far pressed just by a certain status. This time, he’s choosing his life. Who he shall be, his paths, but also who shall take him fully and claim him as theirs.
He knows who going to take that place, he was only reserved for one person and he knows too well he’s going to marry you one day.
At the end of the day, making you his queen
*****
The halter top dress is pretty much very comfortable when it hugs your figure. The golden-yellow colored hue was sure to catch a lot of attention as you passed by, but you chose to pay no mind on it. You stared at your arms linking itself on Justin’s hold, an obvious grin on his face.
“I would never understand how you manage to get this to happen”, you said
His lips tugged into a bigger smile, this time it was more than satisfaction, smug and playful. He clucked his tongue in a playful manner, a hand playing with his waxed hair as he pulls it here and there.
“I get what I want”, he said.
You didn’t know how long did the gala last, but you knew there was more drama being putted in this year’s annual gala. It was amusing going to a royal gala, especially since you’ve never been into one. It struck you like stars when you saw the Wangs with your own two eyes, how they stride in like they own the place.
But you never knew Justin was close with them, or with the princess herself
Occasionally throughout the night you felt the off churns in your system, as if you felt sick. Your gaze wander around the young royal who’s conversing with the female Wang. Tall, lean and strong, very beautiful. You wouldn’t be surprised to see Justin being completely smitten by the other female, everyone is.
But why did it felt like everything is wrong? That the sudden sickness was stuck on your throat as your eyes burn in fury when you see Justin’s arms circled itself around the female Wang to protect her from Prince Cai? It wasn’t possible, you couldn’t possibly be smitten by Justin.
You’re his caretaker, his somewhat tutor. Years passed since you met him, watching him grow to be the royal he stood now. You were proud of him, amaze with his improvements. Why does this seems off to you then? You know him by now, a child but also a royal. It was always between you and him in the Kingdom, taking care of him but also knowing who he truly is. Why now? Seeing Justin conversing to one royal to another royal, you realized you would never stand like him. You found your hand gripped on the champagne glass tight, a harsh weight on your throat.
“Y/N?”
You snapped back from your own trance, gasping quite loud when you saw Linong standing in front of you with an expression of shock and glee.
“Prince Chen”, you blurted out.
“It’s great seeing you here”, he said in much joy. Linong turned around, finding his ways on the large ballroom, trying to find a certain thing or person. “Where’s that child?”, he asked finally.
“With the Wang”, you simply said.
Linong nodded knowingly, he knew Justin is apparently very close with the female Wang. Everyone knows it, it was as if she was his sister from a different family.
You smiled at him, knowing with this you could busy your mind with this odd conversation aside of thinking about the young royal.
“I never thought to see you again”, he suddenly said catching you off guard. Probably noticing the tone and wording, Linong gawped in horror. “I-I’m sorry! That’s not what I meant—I mean—Oh lord Chen Li Nong!!”, he stuttered out in shame.
“No, it’s fine!”, you said back to the flustered royal.
You waited for him to take a deep breath, calming himself in the end. A tinge of pink still on his face, but his smile forever will decorate his face.
“I meant—I never thought I would see you so suddenly in a place like this”, he pointed out. You only laughed softly at him, nodding. “Prince Huang has his own way”, you said.
“I’m sure he does”, Linong said.
“Linong?”, a sudden subtle soft voice called out. Linong turned around slightly, his face contorted into pure joy by the sudden intruder
“Hey, beautiful”, he said softly. It’s like as if everything was so familiar to them already, everything unravel itself as if it was a script. Small hands that found itself circling around Linong’s as he pulls her closer to his side, he smiled to her. The smile with pure adoration and softness
Pure beauty, like a goddess. Delicate and soft like a feather, sweet and beautiful like a flower. The Princess of Lin, the girl who’s smitten for the young Prince Chen. She looked so small and fragile in Linong’s hands, polite and pretty much raised as a true royal.
“Hello”, she greeted. You bowed a little knowingly, a smile on your face. “Evening, Princess”, you said softly.
“This is my childhood friend, Princess Lin from the Lin’s Kingdom”, Linong said as his tone laced with pure pride. “I’ve heard, her beauty does out best the others”, you said teasing the young princess. She only laughed politely and brushed your compliment as she felt shyer than ever. It didn’t took long for her stay, she dashes away as soon as she exchanged some words with Linong, to her brother’s side who’s with his fiancée.
“I heard from Justin beforehand, his mother was forcing him to marry her”, Linong trailed. You grew rigid on the sudden topic, shaking the pressure off you continued. “I’m aware”, you said.
“The Lin’s life isn’t the best”, Linong said as he stared at the other female in a sad gaze. “She lives without any love from her parents, her brother is ruthless and very much cold to everyone. It amazes me to see such royal family exist sometimes”
You only hummed, glancing your way on the young Princess. She smiled wide when she sensed Linong’s gaze on her, giving a small wave which he replied back with a small smile.
You could see Linong truly cared about her, like a lover. His gaze broken knowing what had lied on the young royal’s life, she was broken. You smiled at Linong’s obvious feelings for the other female royal. Linong sighed.
“Congratulation on your marriage”, you said out of the blue. Linong stared at you in shock, soon his face softened up with the sudden future he’s having. He smiled and thanked you, it didn’t took long for his eyes to wander itself back to the young female royal.
He hummed in approval seeing her smile when she’s having a small talk with Prince Fan. “She’s beautiful when she smiles”, Linong said. “She is”, you nodded.
“I wish nothing but happiness for her, an oath to protect that smile on her face”
*****
Nothing was more amazing or annoying than an unplanned visit. Meaning by an unplanned visit, you meant standing in sleep deprived mode at 2AM in the morning in the Wang’s Kingdom. How did this happen, you may ask?
It all started with a lovely gala. Glamorous food on the long buffet table, classical music playing as it fills the giant ballroom, odd conversation between one royal to another, their beloved Prince Cai being smitten by the female Wang in just a night, until him getting into the wrath between the hand of the male Wang.
It’s more amazing to know that everything happened in just a night, then a few days later you’re with Justin in the Wang’s castle witnessing such fight in early morning hue.
You didn’t know how you manage to end up in the Wang’s Kingdom so early, so sudden. Everything happened in a blur. You remembered Justin barging into your chamber, dragging you out as quickly as possible from your own blanket, soon dragging you to the Huang’s royal carriage and off you all go to the Wang’s region.
None know his intention, even Ziyi was surprise when he saw Justin on his front door. When he was asked why he was even there, without sending a proper letter of his arrival. Justin just brushed it off, making himself home at bloody 2AM in the morning.
“Will you just tell me why we are barging in?”, you asked him as you settled your belonging in your designated room with the young royal trailing behind.
“First, We’re not barging in—“, you raised an eyebrow at his statement which he tried to shushed you out. “Ziyi-ge once told me I can come to play whenever I want to”
“At least send him a letter or give me a warning in advance!”, you grumbled out which made Justin shrugs.
“Secondly, I am not missing any chances on seeing that nasty Cai getting his head off”, he said in pure joy. You stare at him judgingly, he did not just admit that.
“He broke my toy train!”, Justin tried to defend. “That was 5 years ago, what’s up with you and your petty arse?! Dear lord, Huang Minghao!”, you said.
You widen your eyes when the realization hits you. A bloody low rank is throwing her frustration out to a royal, the prince who’s ready to be King. The amount of audacity you brought upon yourself to even scream his full name, you could’ve gotten yourself hung dead in a ditch right now, in this bloody place.
“I-I’m sorry, oh my god. This—I am sorry, I let my frustration out. No wait—”, you stuttered out flustered. “This—I shouldn’t have done that. Prince Huang, I’m—"
And his lips are on yours
The sudden action he pulled was enough to make you gasp in pure shock, but who would’ve thought relief and pure joy would laced itself with the shock. Instinctively you closed your eyes to savor the moment, you sighed with content as he hummed in satisfaction.
It didn’t take long before both of you decided to pull away from one another, the feeling of neediness hits both you quicker giving both conflicted thoughts on going on for another kiss. Silence, where the only sounds that accompanied the silence were just both of your breathing.
He stared at you, you stare at him back. Both in softness and relief, but there’s more unsettling conflict in your orbs.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do that”, he said.
Cough, you could only let out an awkward cough. “You’re basically 15, what do you mean by I’ve waited so long to do that”, you scoffed at him.
Justin only shrugged, unbothered than ever. He smile cheekily expecting more things to happen, but you were too flustered to even be near him.
Hence, you came out with the most lame excuse any caretaker could give.
“Get some rest. I’ll make you some tea, Prince Huang”
Justin thought you were just joking, playing with him a little. He thought that simple kiss was able to break you and make you his. A kiss being shared together, mutual feelings. Doesn’t that always works out in fairytales where a prince fall for a girl and he kissed her then they live happily ever after. You must be joking, he thought again.
To his disappointment, you didn’t even try to glance back at his desperate gaze. Swallowed by the soft click of the wooden door, he was faced with a reality that dawned him with nothing but silence.
Making tea at busk of dawn was very much unplanned. You were tired and sleepy, but you still stood unwavering to boil the fresh batch of water to drawn the dried tea leaves.
Thinking back on the sudden kiss you shared with the young prince, you couldn’t help but felt a leap on your heart, accompanied by the slight flush on your cheek. You tried to convince yourself it wasn’t because you’re smitten for the young royal, it was just due to the sudden rise of the temperature in the kitchen.
You sighed, this whole situation will never happen. A royal and his servants, it will never work out. This is like bloody Cinderella all over again, but this time miracle doesn’t happen that easily.
It was till the extent you kept that odd promise or reason to brew him some tea, you manage to do it and finished it. Standing near his room’s door, you were about to knock.
Until voices are visible to your ears
You didn’t mean on trying to peak or steal some wording here and there, especially words that are exchanged between royals. But you didn’t know what stopped your from moving away from his door.
“I heard from the birds that you’re off marrying the Princess from the Fan Region”
“I tried to decline such offer, I have no interest in her”
The lump was on your throat now. How could you forget. Justin is a rising soon-to-be King, a prince who shall be off marrying another royal to continue the Huang’s legacy. He needs a true royal to accompany him, not some pesky servants or caretaker that babies him.
“Then who shall be the lucky lady to be wed by your yellow-haired self then?”
A laugh was heard, despite it was being swallowed by the doors, you could still his voice very clearly.
“I’m only reserved for one, I’m either marrying her or not. But right now, I can’t even grasp if she would say yes if I suddenly propose to her”
And you ran away from his chamber, leaving the freshly brewed tea on the floor, slowly it went cold like your un-ending nightmare.
*****
Morning came easily, you woke up from the most discomforting sleep in your life and dragged yourself to get ready for the day. You barely could even make up your mind that you’re still in the Wang’s manor. Strolling with the young prince on the Wang’s garden, you know what’s being anticipated by the royal. Prince Cai is coming, and he’s about to get killed.
“You’ve been off, was it because of the kiss?”, Justin asked mindlessly.
When you turned around to face him, Justin could clearly see the broken gaze you set upon to be showcased to him.
“W-What’s wrong?”, he asked. Slowly, he tried to get closer but you only shake him off.
“Prince Huang, I just—“, you stuttered out. Great, what an amazing start. He stared at you worriedly but spoke none to bother you.
“Whatever you’re feeling right now, towards me or towards what you are expecting in the future with me, forget it”, you said desperately.
Justin swore his heart plummeted or jumped off a cliff fighting away gravity. You must be playing with him, you couldn’t be serious. In such early morning with a start of a beautiful stroll in the Wang’s garden, you hit him off with a rejection before he could even do anything about his raw feelings
He stared at you coldly, his lips pursed in a thin line.
“Who are you and where do you stand to order such irrational decision on my life?”, he hissed out every single word.
You could feel yourself feeling oddly intimidated, shaken under his dominant behavior instead of his usual playful self.
“You deserve a true royal to be by your side, Prince Huang”, you said. Justin could feel yourself breaking slowly, yet he couldn’t do anything to help you. “I may stand by your side when you became King, but I am not the person who will stay with you to rule like a true royal for eternity. I am not fit to be a Queen”, you manage to whisper it out.
Justin didn’t know what to feel. Confusion on how did you manage to think like this, sorrow to see how a status could impact you and him so much, fury to see you give up on his hope on having a future together with him by forcing him to neglect his own damn feelings.
“You are in no place to command such words on me, Y/N”, he manage to snap. “What I am planning to do is my own path and no one can change it but me, you are in no place to tell me to bloody give up on my feelings towards you!”, he yelled out making you flinch.
He sighed, running a hand on his hair as the action messed up the well combed hair easily with one swift.
“I am not fit for you”, you said. Eyes staring at him, broken. “Just forget about this whole imaginative of yours, Prince Huang. I’m sorry”
He stared at you, blank and cold. His mouth opened to speak and try to object you but no words were exchanged out of his parted lips.
“You’re speaking nonsense”, and he pulled you in the castle ground once again. “Shut up and just enjoy the show”, and you did. You didn’t speak to him any words, you stayed silence even when the tip of a sword was held upon Ziyi’s throat.
*****
Justin is furious, he still is. He finds himself bothered for the whole day, everything irked him. You didn’t even try to talk to him anymore despite what he meant by shut up was pls bloody talk to me I am a desperate lonely bean
He pushed and pull the food on his plate, a wonderful lunch for the 3 royals that had suddenly gathered together. He sighed wishfully.
You were standing by his side, clearly trying to appear unbothered. He stared at Ziyi who’s feeding his raven, The Princess of Luo and Ziyi’s sister who’s hitting off pretty quickly with Xukun despite he almost died on the Wang’s hand.
“Until how long are you planning to ignore me, Y/N?”, Justin spoke out catching everyone’s attention. You were surprised, caught in shock.
“Speak to me, please”, he was pleading now.
“P-Prince Huang—”
Justin had enough, he had just about enough on everything in his life. He was not going to deal with an unwanted marriage that will leave him miserable. He knows he was 15, he knows he was bound to be king when he’s 17. 2 years is what it takes for him to find true happiness, he knows where to find it. The path that lies in front of it, clear like the sea waters in the Chen’s Region. He knows who’s fingers he’s going to put a ring on.
He stared at you, none was glanced towards the others attention that had managed to be grasped by him. He didn’t care. If he’s acting all childish and whiny again, so be it
“Call me by my name”, he said. Almost like he was begging, maybe he was. He had been so desperate to have you for so long. Listening to his name that roll off your tongue so easily was so satisfying and so enduring, he felt his life was completed.
You stayed silence. This is not how you plan on spending the last few days in the Wang’s manor, clearly with Justin’s sudden behavior that’s being showcased towards the other royals on the table.
“Prince-“
“Call me by my name”, he pressed once again. You swallowed down the lump
“Minghao”, he sighed in pure bliss. “Stop your game, it’s not the time for this tantrum”, you snapped back to him. He only smiled, like a child who got praised and awarded with sweets.
“What’s so wrong about a royal who suddenly fell for his servant, his caretaker? What’s so wrong about a royal who suddenly felt the urge to marry the person he loves despite she is in a different status than him?—”
“Princ-“
“I have a name”, Justin brushed off. “Tell me, Y/N”, he said softly. Orbs locks against yours, soft in wonder and anticipation. “Is it a sin for a royal to fell in love with his servant? To want to continue a path with you despite what others might say? Or to imagine a future with you?”
“You’re only 15—“, you tried to fight back
The screeching between the chair and floor was very much loud and distracting, yet the others saw this as a real life drama that’s too good to be true. Justin walked closer to you, closing the distance. His eyes still locked itself on yours, letting you know all the raw emotion that lies beneath him.
“I am far capable, too mature as a 15 year old royal. I am the next King which responsibility had already lies on myself since my father died. A 15 year old child who learns what love is truly is, what a path he wants to choose and who he shall take as his queen”, he said.
“I know I am only 15. But I also know who I want to spend my whole royal life with”, the fangirling shriek from Xukun was heard before a loud slap closed his mouth, which you assume was from the female Wang.
Ziyi’s lips tugged in approval, he does favor Justin since he was young. A true strong royal despite he’s only a small blooming bud of flower. He knows what Justin is capable of, he knows what Justin can do with his own two bare hands. A small child who’s able to control the land and skies, making the waves cowered under his feet.
You were speechless. You tried to speak, fight him but no words were coming out of your lips. Your eyes waver against his, you didn’t know what to do nor what would happen next.
“I don’t care about your status nor your family history lines with the Huang’s. I’ve liked you for so long to even make myself a prick to get your constant attention, why can’t you read those hints?”, he said desperately.
His hand took yours, interlacing his fingers on yours slowly. You sighed feeling the warmth of his gentle touch, he smiled. He knows where your future lies now.
“I’ve fell for you ever since you came into my odd and hectic royal life”, and he lulls you away in a gentle kiss.
You didn’t know what was happening. All you knew was the electricity and butterflies bursting into your system, your eyes closing automatically when his lips lands on yours. Content and home, like it was meant to be.
His hand rest itself on your back whilst the other still held on your hand, not wanting to let go. You felt a cold metal ring slid itself on one of your right ring finger, it tingles a little.
When he pulled away, he stared at you with the most pure satisfaction and adoration within him. He took your hand, raising it as he plant a small gentle feather-like kiss on the ring. The silver band that rest perfectly, tucked between your middle finger and pinky. A yellow diamond rest itself upon the band, shining like the sun.
Justin smiled at you, he was ready for his future. He didn’t mind other obstacle that lies upon him. As long as he has you by his side, he was willing to do anything.
“Rule with me”, his finger twirled a little on the silver band, you felt the sudden tingle on his soft touch.
“Be my Queen for eternity”, he said
“Marry me, Y/N”
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I can’t live without… 3/18
This post is sponsored.
The first item on this week’s favorite list is a brand that is part of the K-beauty phenomenon. K-beauty (short for “Korean beauty”) is probably the most hyped and most revolutionary trend in the beauty industry. And for good reason, in my opinion: isn’t the porcelain skin of Korean women the beauty ideal of pretty much every woman? The K-beauty phenomenon revolves around precisely these attribute, no pores, no wrinkles and an even tone, rounded off with a natural glow.   Based on this (beauty) ideal, Korean label Dr. Jart+ established itself in the industry in 2004, promoting a vision of skin-care through specialist diagnosis, innovation and highly functional products.
Since its inception, the company has worked with a team of dermatologists, technicians, artists and designers to create progressive technologies and to combine them with effective substances, always with the aim to design products that are effective as well as visually pleasing. Dr. Jart+ offers a wide palette of products ranging from nurturing facial gels and special micro peelings to my absolute brand favorite: the famous “sheet masks” – an absolute staple of every Korean beauty ritual.   But Dr. Jart+ wouldn’t be Dr. Jart+ if all they offered were those sheet masks, which have become quite popular by now. Apart from those classics, the label also offers gel-like rubber sheet masks, each of which consists of an ampoule of highly concentrated serum and a rubber mask. Prior to putting on the mask yu apply the moisturizing serum, which helps to tighten saggy skin, and to revitalize lost elasticity.
Then you lay the sheet-mask on your face, which optimizes the efficiency of the serum and thoroughly moisturizes your skin. Little wrinkles are smoothed out, and the elasticity of the skin improves noticeably. What more could you want?
Clean skin? No problem with the PMD Clean!   Especially when wearing make-up, cleansing your face in the morning and evening is an absolute must! The new PMD clean helps with over 7,000 revolutions per minute – called SonicGlow™ – to remove oil, dirt and clogged pores from the skin and to make it shine. It also provides a slight lifting effect. The perfect setting for every skin type can be found from four different modes.
PMD Clean is made of ultra-hygenic silicone and is therefore antibacterial, hypoallergenic and fragrance resistant. That means never buying brush heads again!
Water is also no problem for the device if one carries out his cleaning ritual in the morning or in the evening under the shower. At the front as a cleansing brush, the back of the PMD Cleanse is suitable for anti-aging facial massages that give serums and creams a more intensive effect. In general, the brush can be used with all kinds of beauty products – be it foam, a cleansing cream or oil. The PMD Clean has no battery and runs on a 1AA battery. This means you don’t have to carry an annoying charger with you when you’re travelling.
Interested? If you would like to try the PMD Cleaner, you can get a 30% discount on the assortment with Masha30 on the website HERE.
The perfect Instagram Story: The Unfold App If it comes to Instagram stories, minds are divided. Some prefer real and genuine peeks behind the scenes and personal moments, other have a better time watching snippets of the perfect world we’ve gotten used to on Instagram. To achieve the latter, i.e. professionally realized, perfect results, I have an amazing recommendation for you guys.   Just recently I stumbled upon the Unfold App, and have quickly come to cherish it as the ideal toolkit for all storytellers and creatives among you. The app offers 25 templates and fonts, freely combinable to create the perfect story. The app supports photos as well as videos, all in high-res – a long cry from most free apps. This particular gem is downloadable without any conditions whatsoever. I can really recommend this one from the bottom of my heart!
Instagram inspiration: Marius Sperlich Talking about Instagram: I don’t want to keep my current favorite on the platform from you. Berlin based photographer and artist Marius Sperlich regularly presents excerpts from his work on Instagram, turning his feed into a lovingly curated piece of art, with a loving eye for detail and the fascination of sometimes provocative content. I’m totally blown away by the associations and interpretations Marius works with! Far from the clichés of erotic photography, he focuses on details of erogenous zones without ever been placative or invasive. His whole body of work feels authentic, and the level of artistry is uniformly high.
Netflix-Tipp: Ali Wong Hard Knock Wife Comedy Special Two years after giving birth to a daughter, stand-up comedian Ali Wong is back on Netflix! Just as we hoped, she’s back with a load of humorous and lively stories about what she experienced in those two years. Ali talks about the dark sides of being a new mother, the daily struggles it brings with it, and about her attempts to achieve a healthy work-life balance after her pregnancy.   I cried of laughter watching “Hard Knock Wife”! Ali Wong has such a unique and authentic way to recount her every-day adventures. This is definitely another must-see!
The “DJI Mavic Air” drone It’s small, portable, comes in classic black and is a perfect travel companion. What am I talking about, you ask? Yep, I’m banging on about my new drone, the “Mavic Air” by DJI. My ultimate tip for all the travel and photo freaks among you!   As you probably know, I love experimenting with different photo and video techniques, and I’m always looking for a new perspective, a new angle. When I’m on the road, wanting to capture the character and atmosphere of cities and landscapes, I find the birds-eye view particularly inspiring and impactful. With that in mind, I was sure I was going to hop on the drone bandwagon sooner or later.   A bit of research led me to the “DJI Mavic Air” drone, which convinced me on many levels the moment I tried it. The drone comes with various filters, and packs the choice of a wide range of photo and video options, inviting experimentation and creativity. Plus, it has a resolution of 32 megapixels and a reach of up to four kilometers. And on top of all that, the remote control is incredibly user friendly, genuinely easy to handle – just connect it to the smartphone and the captured image is displayed on your mobile phone.
Simple but ingenious.
Last Minute Summer Deal – SAKS OFF 5TH Hands up: Who doesn’t love bargains here and there? And who would like to have Sale all year round?   ME! Personally, I don’t care if a piece is from the current collection or from the collection before. If I like something, if the quality is right, I like to add it to my collection. If I get it then also still somewhat more favorably, I am all the more pleased!   At SAKS OFF 5TH I have always found something spontaneous – whether clothing or accessories. I don’t even have to browse long until I find something suitable. Whether I need cool sunglasses at short notice or a last-minute summer dress – I don’t have to dig around, I have a large selection of products from different designers in one store. The good thing about SAKS OFF 5TH: Great designers at a small price in a high-end department store without outlet character. The range also speaks for itself: large designer brands offer timeless classics such as trench coats, certain well-known bag models and cashmere sweaters. These work as a highlight to cheaper articles, which SAKS Off 5TH also offers. I like the idea that nothing is simply thrown away or destroyed (have you read the article about a designer brand that you can find HERE), but parts find a new home. Optionally also with me in the wardrobe.
Newcomer-Label: Polène Paris Founded by three siblings driven to carry on the traditional craft of their family, the young Parisian label Polène is deeply rooted in old, French artisan tradition. The three founders realize their vision of creating exceptional leather products in form of bags, which dazzle with eye-catching geometrical forms and lines, high-quality materials and an air of Parisian laissez-faire. In terms of colors, the label focuses mainly on neutral nuances like creme, beuge, black and red – the Parisian palette in a nutshell.   And there’s another huge plus I should mention. The label is completely independent, which is also reflected in its price point. Polène vowed to offer high quality at fair prices, and in order to achieve it the label cuts all middlemen like stores (apart from the Polène’s own store) and whole-sellers. You find their products online and on 14 Rue Daval, Paris.
Exhibition Tip: James Turrell’s Light-Art Presentation in Dorotheenstadt Cemetary, BerlinBerlin has a reputation for being a magnet for creative types, who find beauty in the ordinary and transform the ordinary into the exceptional. In a way, that may be one of the single most distinguishing characteristics of this city., While Berlin is obviously on par with many other European capitals when it comes to architecture and culture, it often seems like the cities biggest assets are the artists, musicians and creative minds who understood its essence and have used it in their work. This means that in Berlin you quite often stumble upon exhibitions and installations that maybe wouldn’t receive as much popular attention anywhere else as they do here.   This week’s exhibition tip is the truly incredible light-art presentation by James Turrell, which has been on show on Dorotheenstadt cemetery since 2015 as a permanent installation. The American artist, world famous for his work with light, transforms the chapel into a surreally colorful, light-flooded space. The installation is highly representative of this amazing artist’s work.   The only way to attend is to join one of the hour-long chapel tours, which always start at the moment of sunset. But I guarantee it’s worth your while, this installation is an absolute must-see!
Favorite Fragrance: Narciso Rodriguez – for her “OMG you smell so good!” I’ve heard this sentence quite a lot since I started wearing the scent by Narciso Rodriguez, and I notice that men seem to be particularly susceptible to this fragrance. It’s a real classic, just recently the brand celebrated the fragrance’s 15th anniversary. The scent’s popularity is unbroken, it is a mysterious and timelessly elegant – yet modern – as on the first day. Narciso aimed to capture the sensuality every women, and to create a scent that carries that sensuality. Looks like he succeeded. Personally, I love the powdery note, which makes the fragrance sensual but not sweet, a lingering, fragrant aura.
Head note: peach, rose Heart note: musk Base note: amber, patchouli
This post is also available in German Russian
Source: https://www.masha-sedgwick.com/i-cant-live-without-3-18/
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