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#That but it's a bar
jacqcrisis · 6 months
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Put salt in your baked goods. Put salt in your desserts. Just do it. Please. Salt isn't just for savory, it's literally a flavor enhancer so even a pinch can take a meh recipe to one people can't stop eating. Listen to me. Your cookies and cheesecake bars are bland and uninteresting. I'm taking your hand. I'm guiding you with a gentle touch to the back. We can do this together. Trust me.
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shortmexicangirl · 8 months
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'can i copy your homework?'
'yeah just don't make it obvious'
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lasaraconor · 9 months
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Kidd Gorgeous - Nightfish 
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begaycommittreason · 16 days
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officer: are these your children sir?
damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father
jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man
bruce: …nope
officer: oh, then them?
steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:
bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole
officer: …so it has to be one of them?
alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce
tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really
bruce: …i’ve never met these people before
assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*
officer: then who are you here to collect?
bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine
clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!
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sick of this anti-aging obsession. let's go in the opposite direction. i want more characters who are hardened & grizzled & have a face lined with the harrowing tribulations of time--and then halfway through the narrative u find out they're 27
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Good Omens Season 3 Predictions:
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(it took all my self restraint not to just use Bildad the Shuhite pictures)
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imperialnyx · 7 months
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Have you been to the Funky Bar? 👀
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maplebars · 1 year
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my dear maple
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wazzi2ya · 2 months
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Lucifer, ranting: Oh and he's so fucking infuriating! Thinks he can just waltz into that hotel, and into my daughter's life! Daring to argue with me, ME! The King of Hell! With his stupid coat and the ugliest fucking haircut I've ever seen, strolling around as if he owned the place!
Asmodeus, Sin of Lust, able to tell Exactly what is going on, pouring him a second margarita: Mhmm, tell me more, girl.
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eskildit · 5 months
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In a better kinder world. Gideon nav would have been at the club.
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greenteaandtattoos · 3 months
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A traditional "knight saves the princess" story except at the end, the princess sighs and goes, "I suppose you want my hand in marriage as a reward" and the knight goes, "Oh, no, I'm just new in town and wanted to make friends but I've got really bad social anxiety" and the princess is like, "Rad, because I was never gonna fall in love with you" and they live happily ever after as besties (they're both aroace).
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tittyinfinity · 4 days
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I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.
She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.
My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.
But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.
We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!
You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.
Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.
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seancefemme · 6 months
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yeah well you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid
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courtesycalling · 11 days
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sata-cable · 4 months
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MONDAY DINNER
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punkitt-is-here · 7 months
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the cutiemark crusaders try to get a cutie mark for speedrunning
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