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#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER i can’t believe i can finally post it now
wanderfan2000 · 16 hours
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The Depression - WanderFan2000′s Side of The Story
Before I get started with this, I need to say for the sake of my viewers. What I’m about to talk about is MY side of this Tumblr drama that’s been going on around here regarding me and my love for the Wander Over Yonder episode, “The Lonely Planet”.  Keep in mind when I first read the post, I felt depression, flabbergasted and shock all take me over. I couldn’t shake it off and it still continues to take me over this morning. So, without further ado, let’s begin with…
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“Why do I have depression?” you might ask. Well, I’ll explain…
I was looking at the “Wander Over Yonder” tag like I always do when I came across a post written by a fellow tumblr blogger, it involved a question with highlighted words as I clicked on it, I never thought I’d find myself in the MIDDLE of a Tumblr drama war.
The story in particular was all about my countless obsession with “The Lonely Planet.” It even included pictures of questions I told some other WOY fan about the episode and how I wanted them to draw fan art of the episode. Then I started reading more, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… 
The blogger was explaining how the lonely planet artwork, the questions, everything related to said episode was basically just a giant huge pot of NSFW content and many other things. I didn’t quite understand it, but once I did, shock and depression took over my body. 
Now that I’ve gotten the backstory out of the way, let me explain MY SIDE of the story…
First of all, everyone should know that I would NEVER in my lifetime do ANYTHING to harm Wander, he’s a character who I love and will love forever. I clearly don’t understand why on earth the Wander fandom wants to go against me, especially after seeing what I have been doing regarding my fan artwork of a sentient talking planet we’ve only seen in ONE episode and especially, the thing about me not giving a hoot about the opinion! 
But there’s no need to attack me or say anything about it. Just because I’m obsessed with an episodes of Wander that involve him getting captured by a lonely, sentient planet who ties him up with plant vines DOESN’T mean that I obsess with these episodes MORE than the entire series. I love the WOY series as a whole, each episode is unique and special in their own way, plus I always get a laugh out of a lot of them.  Now, lemme talk about my art work of Wander and Janet: 
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One thing I’d like to point out that whenever I draw Wander and Janet together nowadays, I draw them as Forever Friends. Because I like to think that Janet enjoys loving over Wander as a friend rather than trying to force him to love her. NTM, she has Maurice as her husband now.  Now I understand that a lot of folks aren’t fans of the whole “plant vines tying around Wander’s wrists ofc, many of them aren’t fan of the vines touching his face ether”. In fact, in a deleted storyboard, there was going to be a scene where Wander was completely surrounded by plant vines. It even mentions that the vines were going to be stroking his face. This never made it into the final episode, tho. Thank grop, I can’t even imagine what the fandom would’ve done with THAT. 
But anyway, the plant vines in all my fanart for this episode aren’t stroking Wander at all, they are cuddling him sweetly. (Well, in Janet’s defense.) Because the vines love him just like Janet loves her forever friend. 
Yes, I know it’s a lot to take in, but I wanted to express my feelings for what I do whenever I draw fanart for Janet. 
Listen, guys, I apologize for any convenience that my artwork, questions and screenshots centered around this episode have made you all uncomfortable. But you need to keep in mind that it is still based on the episode with a different twist: Janet is now obsessed with having Wander as her FRIEND, NOT keeping him as her lover. I mean, sure, I draw artwork based on what happened in the actual episode, but it’s fun to draw something different that Janet can obsess with Wander.  The thing is I don’t want you to view me as a bad person, especially someone who you think is obsessive with fetish. But I am NOT OBSESSED WITH ANY OF THAT! I don’t want to draw A N Y T H I N G that could cause a problem in the fandom. 
Also, the artwork that I draw of The Lonely Planet in particular, talking about it, screenshots I share, I keep all of this FRIENDLY! I don’t want them to be viewed as “NSFW” content because I would NEVER do anything to upset you guys out there, you are all my FRIENDS and I LOVE all of you! 
So, please, don’t block me just because of my obsession. I’m a friendly person who wants to love everyone I meet on here. I’m sorry if the thing I did made everyone upset and uncomfortable. I won’t do it again. 
- WanderFan2000 
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benkeibear · 1 year
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⋆꙳✧༄ Their hand slips - apology
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❖ Character: Mikey, Nahoya, Draken
꒰ ͜͡➸The fight | ꒰ ͜͡➸Taiju/Hanma/Kazutora | ꒰ ͜͡➸Ran/Rindou/Sanzu
❖ Reader: genderneutral
❖ Wordcount: 2.4k
❖ Summary: What happens after their hand slipped? Can they fix your relationship?
❖ WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and reader getting hit once
❖ A/n: don’t want to miss a post? Sign up for my Taglist in my Navi!
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☰ Mikey:
When Sanzu finally reached you, your cheeks were stained by tears, your beautiful face was all puffy from crying over a man who didn't deserve you or your kindness. His hand reached for your wrist so you would stop walking away. „Please… Let me drive you home“ he mumbled softly, knowing all too well how you feel, given that he was in your shoes once when he was a child. You agreed to his offer and let the pink haired man drive you to your- now only Mikey's place. „I- i can't stay here Haru“ you mumbled when you stepped inside the place you once called home, now merely resembling four walls with a roof.
He understood exactly what you meant and helped you pack without another word shared between the two of you. Getting all your stuff out will also clear Mikey’s head, it will make him realize that his actions do in fact have consequences, leader of bonten or not. He has lost you and he needs to feel it to properly understand what this means.
Mikey was miserable, not only did he hit his head against the concrete floor numerous times, he even needed medical help because of it and his memory was lacking due to the repetitive impact of his skull against the floor. „You can’t see them Mikey… In fact, i don’t think you will ever see them again“ Kakucho said serious, wishing he could strangle Mikey for what he’s done to you when all you ever did was to care for him, when he was too busy to do so himself.
That night Mikey returned to a dark house, the smell of your lovely dinner didn't fill his senses when he entered and the bed was cold and empty. He hated every second of this, not believing that he actually hit you. It took him hours to fall asleep but his dreams weren’t soothing him either, waking up completely drenched in his own sweat and reaching for you, needing your loving embrace… Right, he hit you, you’re gone. The realization sat in and it felt like someone ripped his heart right out of his chest. When he touched his cheek he found it to be wet, tears slipping across them, it’s like yours did earlier at exactly the same spot. This was when Mikey knew he had to change, that he needs to get better in order to get you back into his life somehow.
Weeks went by and you got used to living with Sanzu, the thought of living completely alone felt like dying to you. Yet you never once heard of Mikey and neither did anyone else. Just when everyone assumed the worst, a bouquet of flowers with a small note attached arrived - addressed to you, by Mikey.
„My dearest love, please forgive me for what I’ve done. There are no words in any language to apologize and beg for your forgiveness, let alone to justify my behavior. If you find it in you to face me one last time, I would be eternally grateful. This sunday at the place we met, i will be there until it's dark - Forever yours, Manjiro“
You sighed heavily as you read the small card, unsure if you even want to see him again but it was Sanzu that convinced you into showing up with him together. Once the dreaded day rolled around you got ready and couldn't stop shaking the whole way there. When you arrived at the small bridge close to a shrine you were almost hiding behind the pink haired man who eventually pulled you in front of him so you could face Mikey. He would be there to protect you if Mikey acted out but the man standing in front of both of you was almost like a stranger to you. He was well put together, looking like he slept better and ate more… He almost looked happy but the heartbroken expression upon setting his eyes on your frame told you otherwise.
As if he suddenly forgot how to speak, his mouth was opening and closing like a fish on dry land, he just stood in front of you, his hands slowly reaching towards yours only to fall limp to his side. You gave him a chance to explain himself and apologize, listening to the man you still loved with all your heart. Mikey was a miserable pile at the end of it, eyes red and puffy as he sank down to the floor, mentally preparing himself to watch you leave a second time - What he didn't expect was your soft hand stroking his cheek and holding your hand out to help him up. „I can't just move on but i will forgive you. You’ve changed, i see that and i'm willing to give you a second chance to let you prove that you've changed“ You mumbled softly and Mikey nodded, understanding that you need time but he would give you all the time you need, wanting to prove that he's a better man now and that he truly loves you.
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☰ Nahoya:
The moment you closed the door you immediately called Souya so he could come and pick you up, which he of course did - You were like a sister to him after all. Hearing you cry into his brother's shoulder just outside of his place broke his heart further, making him feel like he gets choked with barbed wire, only for this burning rage to boil up deep inside of him. During this rage he felt helpless, not able to understand how he could have done that, what made his brain think that this is a smart choice and this feeling of helplessness and utter sadness drove him to the brink of insanity, trashing his place.
When you arrived at Souyas place, which wasn't far away from your now ex-boyfriends, he made you some comfort food before sitting with you on the couch and just letting you cry and scream. He hated to see you this upset, unsure how he could even help you, so all he did was to be there for you and listen to everything you had to say or be the shoulder to cry on - he even let you choose all the plushies you want to cuddle with from his room in a desperate attempt to make you comfortable. While he despised Nahoya for what he's done, Souya would never say a bad thing about him to you, agreeing that what he did was disgusting but his brother isn't a monster and this was -hopefully- just a one time incident.
The peach haired man spent days inside his apartment before he even dared to show up at his restaurant again, looking like a shell of his former self and his signature smile had completely vanished, looking like a much sadder version of Souya. His skin wasn't as thick as it used to be, every little thing annoying him and getting him to explode but he tried not to let anyone see this part, punching bags of flour or rice in the back just to get this rage out of him. His past actions are always running through his mind, how he couldn't see what he had in front of him and always flirting around as if he would find anyone better, but you were there all along. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand how you even put up with him a single day of your life, how you saw the good in him when there wasn't anything to be seen.
From that day on other people became the least interesting thing to him, not even looking at the women anymore even if they so obviously flirted with him or tried to get his attention. On some days he just ignored them but when his nerves were starting to wear out he would snap at them to leave him alone, that he had a partner already. That's usually when the realization hit - he didn't, not anymore. Every night he returned to a cold bed and he swore that it got colder every night without you at his side.
Souya eventually had enough of the way he was beating himself up and the way you so religiously avoided the restaurant so you won't end up seeing him, but he had a plan, inviting you over as Nahoya was looking through the storage room. Of course the door accidentally locked itself when you went to get a bag of rice for the blue haired man, almost jumping out of your skin when Nahoya was in there as well. Great. The last person you wanted to see was locked in with you, making a mental note to drown Souya in his own Ramen once you get out of there.
The moment Nahoya took a step towards you, looking like a beaten puppy you took a can from your left and threw it right in his face. He didn't even try to stop the impact from happening, nor did he say anything to the cruel words spilling from your lips, knowing you were right. He did treat you terribly and he couldn't do anything but take everything you're giving him right now, deserving everything coming from you. “I never want to feel your disgusting hands on me again” you spat and as much as he acted like it didn't hurt, it felt like a knife to his heart but he understood and respected it, not moving at all as you threw everything at him - words, objects, it didn't matter to him.
Only when you ran out of ammunition, you felt helpless and trapped, tears staining your beautiful face as you started to cry which gave him the last blow. He sank down to his knees, approaching you like a broken man “I don't want anyone but you” he whispered as he wiped away the tears despite the fight you were putting up with and swatting his hands away. The sound of your sobs filled the room but you weren't alone, the once so happy man hasn't been the same since the incident, crying with you now as promises spill from his lips, promising to be better and that he can be the man you need if you just give him one more chance and as much as you wanted to hate him - you just couldn't. Next to that, Souya probably won't let you two out until everything is okay again.
So all you can do is sniffle and nod, a frown appearing on your face again upon seeing the black eye slowly forming due to your attack on him moments ago. “I guess we're even now” you whisper as you press the softest kiss on his closed eyelid.
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☰ Draken:
Draken didn't want you to leave, that was the last thing he ever wanted and he could feel his heart clench in time with the door falling shut as he sank to his knees. The wave of emotions that came over him was too much to handle, fear, heartache, anger, sadness… His hands brought pain to others from time to time but never to you. The way he lost control over his own actions was what made him so angry with himself but once these initial emotions ebbed off, it was as if a veil of fog was lifted and he clearly saw just how poorly he has been treating you these past few weeks. Emma's death day creeping closer left him feeling on edge but it was no reason to behave like a monster. The way he kept comparing you to her or the way he thought of Emma bouncing on his lap when it was in fact you left him feeling embarrassed, humiliated of his own mind. It was enough to disgust himself, a fist connecting with the sturdy wall at each mistake he made over the past week.
He spent the night tossing and turning in bed until he gave up on sleeping to tend to his beloved punching bag to punish himself for hurting you. How could he have compared the person he loved with his whole heart to his ex - no matter the circumstances she left and he knew that he had to fix this, to let go of the woman haunting his mind.
In the morning Draken peeled himself from the floor where he eventually fell asleep and made his way to Emma's grave, wanting to let go for real this time but he didn't expect to see you sitting in front of the tombstone with tear stained eyes, having a conversation with his former girlfriend. You were begging Emma to let him move on, to let go of him and that you would never try to replace her but that he deserves to be happy, even if that's without her - but as long as her claws are so deeply anchored in his heart, he won't ever be able to move on with you or anyone else.
It was breaking his heart further to see you there like this, begging at a grave for his happiness. “He is my happiness, Emma. You and your memory will always be honored but I can't watch him suffer like this much longer.” you sniffled as you got up and wiped your tears with the sleeves of your sweater.
Draken was a tall man and you felt his presence and without turning around you spoke up “I know you're here. Was hurting me not enough? You follow me now too?” you asked offended and in this moment he knew more than before that he needed to step up his game, deciding to come out of his hiding spot. “I know I'm the last person you want to see right now but I didn't expect to see you… here” he explained himself which made you laugh bitter. Eventually your eyes landed on his bruised and bloodied hands, knowing exactly what he's done the whole night and you hated to see the way guilt was written all over his face, knowing that this was just a stupid accident. “I don't expect you to forgive me but you deserve an apology” he said loud and clear, keeping the polite distance between the two of you.
“You're right, but I'm not sure if I can forgive you… but i'll try to” You said with a sad smile, willing to give him a second chance but Draken knew that if he mistreated you ever again you would be gone without a further word.
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Network: @tokyometronetwork
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harlowsbby · 2 months
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Do 4 Love 💘
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Liked by sza, jaydawayda, urbanwyatt, lilnasx, jackharlow and 2,657,000 others.
yourinstagram all this ass and don’t don’t have me a Valentine’s or a man… smh 🙃🖤
sza if I was a man I’d definitely get me a slice or two… 🙈
druski sheshh all that JUNK in the TRUNK
urbanwyatt @druski my exact response 👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯
lilnasx @druski @urbanwyatt you two are disgusting smh… but it was sitting though
jackharlow I can DEFINITELY take all the pressure off you… if you give a boy from Kentucky a chance 😉
yourinstagram @jackharlow hmm show me why I should give you a chance?
Liked by lilnasx, druski, urbanwyatt, lilbaby, lildurk and 1,222,000 others.
jackharlow someone let @yourinstagram now these dance moves will have her wanting to be mine 😮‍💨
yourinstagram if I say yes will you delete this? I can’t believe you tagged me 😭
urbanwyatt it’s even worse I sat there and recorded this for him 🧍🏼‍♂️🧍🏼‍♂️
druski white men can jump but white men definitely don’t got the moves
lilnasx yeah you aren’t invited to the cookout this year….
lilbaby man it’s black history month delete this shit 😂😂😂
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Liked by lilnasx, urbanwyat, druski and 999 others.
tmz looks like @yourinstagram must’ve finally took that date offer from @jackharlow..in a previous post from y/n’s insta she has the Louisville location on and from Jack’s story he posted a picture of y/n that was soon deleted not even a second after it was posted! how do we feel about this possible new couple?
urbanwyatt yeah that second picture was definitely for the close friends 👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯
lilnasx @urbanwyatt not you airing them out! smh
urbanwyatt @lilnasx you’d do it too for a check!
druski she’s officially off the market? 😫😫😫
chloebailey I hope they really are dating 🥹💘 love is in the air this Valentine’s Day
druski @chloebailey if love is in the air how about we make this thing better us official
chloebailey @druski2funny you’re officially blocked.
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Liked by yourinstagram, jackharlow, lilnax and 888 others.
jackharlownews looks like it’s been (somewhat) confirmed that jack and y/n are dating!! by why he do her dirty like that 😂😭
yourinstagram yeah you posting THAT picture like smh you did me DIRTY
jackharlow @yourinstagram I told you smile baby
@yourinstagram @jackharlow you just called me baby? 🥹
sza omg you two being so cute in the comments 🥹💘 @yourinstagram @jackharlow
druski @sza I think ima be SICK take all that cute shit elsewhere some of us are still single
lilnasx mom & dad fr
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Liked by jackharlow, lilnasx, druski, sza, normani and 3,648,000 others.
yourinstagram happy valetine’s day from baby jack and i 💘 (btw yeah he’s my man now hehe)
jackharlow my girl 🥺💘
yourinstagram @jackharlow my man 😌🖤
sza it’s a OFFICIAL ima stan this couple forever and ever 🫡
lilnasx so happy for my pookies
druski so happy for the both of you 🧍🏽‍♂️😀
jackharlownews our man that isn’t our man is finally taken 🤧
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marsmarbles · 2 months
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I hope you guys don’t mind more writing ‘cause I want to do it more often. This was meant to be a request for Gem and Skizz interacting, but I accidentally posted my work in progress instead of saving it as a draft lol. So uhhh sorry. Imma try something new and sprinkle in some art to go along with the story(since I’m assuming you guys wanna see that more than writing)
What Makes Me So Special?
Word count: 900
It was late morning when Skizz entered the detective’s base living room looking down in the dumps. Gem was sitting on the couch to Skizz’s left, which was more of a wooden bench. There wasn’t a lot of options for furniture. It was either a rock couch or a wooden couch, and Skizz knew Grian and Gem wouldn’t let a rock couch in their living room slide.
Gem was wiping down her brand new diamond sword with a white cloth(which won’t ever be white again, probably), which she had just taken for a test drive overnight. It was stained with monster guts and dark, almost brownish purple zombie blood. It was truly disgusting, but Gem seemed unbothered, letting it seep into her long, pleated skirt as she held her cyan blade on her lap.
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Gem didn’t even have to look up to examine Skizz’s expression, she knew something was wrong. No way in the whole Minecraft multiverse would Skizz walk into a room without so much as a hi.
Skizz plopped down next to her on the couch with a long winded sigh and a grunt as his bottom made impact with the thick wood of the couch. He continued to sigh and readjust his sitting position like he had forgotten how to sit correctly, bobbing his eyes back in forth, trying to catch Gem’s eye. He wanted to talk about something that was bothering him, but for some reason he wanted Gem to strike up the conversation. Then, he began whistling, which could be seen as a death sentence. As skilled as a fighter Gem was, she’s wasn’t afraid to give her friends a good whack if they annoyed her.
Instead, Gem compacted herself like a shrimp to put her face closer to her sword, pointlessly scrubbing more violently in one spot, which was very much clean by now. Her eye twitched in annoyance to the sound of Skizz’s airy, ear piercing whistle. Don’t get her wrong, she loved Skizz, but she had just pulled an all nighter fighting monsters and really didn’t have the energy to deal with anyone right now. She had the eye bags and unkept hair to show for it.
After tolerating Skizz for a good long while(and being on the verge of stabbing him), Gem finally gave in. “What’s wrong, Skizz?” Gem groaned.
“GEMSTONE!!” Skizz shouted a little too loud. He had been holding in his words for what felt like forever. He most definitely looked constipated. “Y’know how I really like Impulse??”
“Yeah…?” Gem replied, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘and?’. What was new? She’s heard this story a bagillion times. Skizz really likes Impulse. Skizz pretty much told her every second of every day. Or at least he’s brought it up enough for Gem to give up on counting.
“Well….” Skizz hesitated. He actually seemed serious for once. Or was it sad? Maybe it was the tone in his voice. “I guess I feel kinda lame ‘round him, y’know. He’s just so smart and cool and I genuinely love to be around the guy. He’s special y’know….Special to me…..I just don’t feel special….I can’t build a house without it looking ugly. I can’t make a red stone thingy-ma-jig and have it work. And I can’t even fight good. I can’t even muster up the courage to tell him how I feel about him…” Skizz took a shaky breath. He sniffled, tilted his head up, and blinked a lot, trying to suck back the tears attempting to escape his eyes.
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He continued. “How can I possibly believe that he loves me too…..what makes me so special?…..I guess….I’m just scared he’s faking cuz he pities me.” He huffed and gripped his pant legs, trying to fight back the tears. It would usually kill a ‘real’ man to be this open.
“Skizz….” Gem’s expression shifted to concern. Now she felt horrible for trying to ignore him. No wonder Skizz was so abnormally hesitant to speak with her, he was trying to talk about feelings of inadequacy. She stared at the floor in contemplation, then drew a long breath, readying her advice. “Well, if I know Impulse(which I do) he loves you just as much.” Gem gave Skizz a small but comforting smile. “And if I know Impulse(which, again, I do) he thinks you’re special….very special.” Gem gave Skizz a nudge in the shoulder.
“But how do you know-“ Skizz attempted to retort.
“Impulse is smart, right?” Gem finished.
Skizz felt his face heat up. His halo, which floated just above his head, began to rotate slowly. He broke eye contact with Gem out of embarrassment, who continued to smile at him.
Gem shoved Skizz off the wooden couch bench, trying to break the awkward silence. “NOW GO GET THAT MAN! He’s waiting for you, Skizz! I assure you !” She projected reassuringly. Skizz was just able to catch himself. “Uhhh- YEAH!!” Skizz shuffled out of his awkward landing position and struck a triumphant pose. He turned back to Gem. “Thanks, Gemstone!! This little chat really helped me out! And it was kinda neat to let my feelings out. Imma go find Impulse!!! Seeya!!” Skizz ran off and out the door with his confidence restored. Gem let herself fall back into her seat on the couch, smiling proudly to herself for a job well done. She shed a tear of joy at the thought:
I’m going to have two dads!
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drewsbuzzcut · 4 months
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Dallas and nick eloping because they cant wait
As The Flowers Begin To Bloom
nick moldenhauer x dallas blankenburg
a so it goes blurb
warnings: alludes to sex and marriage
sorry this took me so long to post! (Also this take place April 2024)
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“Are you ready?” Nick asks, clutching tightly onto Dallas’ hand. She can feel him shaking, but she knows it’s out of excitement.
The whole day the girl has been on the verge of tears, tears of happiness and tears of the thoughts that she’s growing up before her own eyes. It feels like just yesterday her mom was dressing her in a puffy, white dress ahead of her baptism. Now, she’s dressed in white, ready to give her heart to Nick for forever.
Dallas turns to face him, watching his blue eyes as they shine in a way that makes sense of everything they’re about to accomplish.
“Yes! I have the marriage license now all we have to do is get married,” she cheers, her smile breathtaking and Nick can feel every nerve ending in his body spark with an unconditional love that was always meant for the pair.
“Perfect. You’re perfect, June bug. I can’t believe I get to love you forever,” he whispers and Dallas thinks her heart may explode.
“There’s no other person who can love me the way you do and vice versa,” she says, closing the remaining space between them to press her lips to his.
“Do you think everyone will be mad when they find out we eloped?” Nick asks just before they enter the courthouse.
“Probably, but I don’t care. This is our day and only ours. Do you care?” Dallas really hopes he doesn’t.
“Of course not. You’re my only thought,” he states, pulling her into the courthouse.
Dallas and Nick’s hands and eyes stay connected throughout the entire ceremony. Their hearts beat in tandem as they entwine into one. They both give short versions of their vows, choosing to recite the complete ones in private, but it doesn’t stop them from crying their eyes out.
The moment they’re announced as an official married couple, they pull each other in for a kiss. It’s bruising and full of tongue, but they don’t care. Only when Nick lets out a low moan, they pull away from each other. He lifts her ring-clad hand and kisses the back of it. She repeats his action and Nick feels a flurry of butterflies in his stomach.
As they walk towards the door, they come face to face with their two witnesses, Luca and Sienna.
“Congratulations, oh my goodness you’re so beautiful,” Sienna squeals as she pulls the girl into a bone crushing hug.
“Thank you,” she sighs, happiness being the only thing she feels.
“Congrats guys,” Luca says, pulling Dallas and Nick into a group hug.
“Thank you, Lu.”
“Yes, thank you guys for being here and being our witnesses. It means a lot,” Nick says.
Walking outside, the sun casts on the couple, magnifying their glow. Dallas excitedly drags Nick to the car, pushing him against the hood so she can finally make out with him.
Nick’s hands roam her back, fidgeting with the thin straps of her silky, white dress. He wants to pull them off her delicate shoulders and press kiss after kiss on the bare skin. Dallas fists the collar of his button up, not allowing an ounce of space between their bodies. Her tongue curls around his as they fight for dominance.
“I want you, now,” Dallas says against his mouth as she feels the lust surface to the tips of her fingers as she tries to push at the material of his button up to expose some of his flesh. Her lips need to be all over him.
“Let me take you home,” he responds and Dallas lets out a sigh. He noses at the veins of her neck, inhaling her soft, heavenly perfume he gifted her. The newlyweds find it hard to pull away from each other. Nick can’t help but kiss her lips again.
“I can’t have anyone seeing you the way only I’m meant to see you. Let me take you home and devour you on our bed,” he pulls away to whisper in her ear. If he weren’t holding onto her, she’d crumble into the ground. His raspy voice always makes her weak in the knees.
“Whatever you say, husband,” she cheeses, feeling blissed out on love.
“I love you, wife,” he kisses her but her smile interrupts.
“I love you, husband.” Dallas grins, contagious laughs falling from her lips and she pulls him into a hug.
a/n: I may write a full version of this but i hope y’all enjoy this little blurb!!!
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dbnightingale24 · 9 months
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A Huckleberry Is Nothing Without His Hummingbird
A Lloyd Hansen Love Story/ Final Installment to ‘It’s Ridiculous But, I’ll Always Love You’
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Part 2
Part 1
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I am so sorry this took so long! Life has been out of control for a while (both in good and bad ways), but it’s finally here! I truly hope you enjoy this, because I loved writing it! Thanks, as always, to @fuckingbye​ for the amazing moodboard! I love it and I love you! As promised, this is much happier than the last Lloyd story, and I hope you all enjoy it!
Word Count: 25,445 (look at me go!)
Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI OR I WILL SNITCH!), 18+ ONLY, Fluff, Arguing, Couples Therapy, Angst, Drinking, Smoking, Family Drama, Lloyd Hansen (cause he’s a walking warning), Violence, Murder, Degrading Kink, Rough(ish) Sex, Daddy Kink, Child Trauma, Toxic Relationship, Healthy Relationship...I think that’s it?
Song(s) Used For This Chapter: To Know Me All This Time and Still Love Me...Well, That’s A Miracle  
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I do not give consent/permission for works/stories to be posted anywhere else. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~ 
“You two can’t keep going on like this,” your couples therapist sighs, as you and Lloyd both sit in silence, both of you with one leg crossed over the other. “You two have been coming here for two months, and it’s the same thing every time.”
You can hear the frustration in her tone, and it’s not like you can really blame her. You and Lloyd have been doing couple’s therapy for 2 months now, and you’re both so damn stubborn, that you both refuse to say anything. It’s not like you don’t want to say anything but, as far as you’re concerned, none of this is your fault.
“I’m not having this argument with you again, Hummingbird!” Lloyd snapped softly as you both stood in the bedroom of the hotel room: your arms folded across your chest.
“You’re acting like our family wasn’t put in danger hours ago! Do you know what this is going to do to Travis?!”
“He’s safe, you’re safe, and Denny is safe! What else do you want from me?!”
“To fucking quit!”
“I promised you that I’d stop-”
“We were still a target! Was this a joke you?” you asked, holding up your fingers that wore his hummingbird engagement ring.
“You know it wasn’t!”
“Then why can’t just pick us?! Your family!”
“I took a step back! That was me choosing you all! Just because you’re not getting everything that you want, doesn’t mean I’m not making an effort!”
“I can’t do this with you, Lloyd. Not again,” you scoffed as you ran your hands through your hair.
“You’re not fucking leave me again, Y/N!”
“You can’t-”
“I can! You think I’m letting you leave me again?! You think you can walk out of my life just as soon as I got you back in it?!”
“You never let me go, Lloyd” you scoffed, your voice rose just a bit more than you meant for it to. “You have been everything to me for forever and-”
“You’ve been everything to me-”
“I clearly haven’t! You still can’t just choose us as your top-”
“You still need to give me some space to be me, Hummingbird!” he yelled.
“This is the same shit it always is,” you scoffed as you kicked your shoes off. “God, why do you I love you? Why do I keep putting up with this shit?! I was finally fucking out-”
“Watch it, Y/N.” Lloyd warned with a growl and you rolled your eyes.
“Or what? Just what will you do?! Actually let me get shot next time?!”
Almost instantly, he had you pinned against the wall, with his hand around your throat.
“Don’t ever say something like that to me again! You fucking understand me?!”
“Why?! What’s so wrong with it?! Staying with you makes me just as good as dead anyway!”
“You don’t think I’m doing everything in my power to keep you and Travis safe?! You don’t think-” “No Lloyd! No I don’t! I don’t believe you! Not anymore! You say you love me, you want us to work through our issues, but it’s all bullshit! Make me believe you, because right now?! Right now, it’s all just bullshit to me!”
Lloyd didn’t say a word, he just crashed his lips into yours and, just like that, you were gone for him.
No, it wasn’t healthy and you both knew you were falling back into your old habits, which is why you brought up therapy. At first, Lloyd was dead set on not going.
“We don’t fucking need couples therapy,” he muttered as you started cleaning off the dinner table.
“Well, we fucking need something, because this isn’t working for me. This isn’t college, Lloyd. We can’t just fuck our feelings away and avoid the problems that are staring us in the fucking face.”
“We can work out our problems on our own!”
“Keep your fucking voice down! Travis isn’t asleep!” you snapped quietly, trying to keep your own emotions in check.
“Hummingbird-”
“I want us to go to therapy, Lloyd. You’re hellbent on keeping your stupid fucking job? Well, I’m hellbent on doing therapy,” you shrugged, leaning against the sink.
“Humming-”
“Lloyd, we do therapy or I walk. It’s that simple.”
“Don’t fucking bully-”
“I’m not bullying you into shit. You want us to work out? You wanna keep working? Then I want therapy.”
“You can’t-”
“Therapy or I fucking walk, Lloyd. I’m not going through this shit with you.”
At first, he was furious and didn’t speak to you for a week, but once he realized you weren’t backing down, he finally agreed. Denny suggested a therapist that works with the agency and that settled it.
Which is why you’re both currently sitting in the therapist’s office, stubborn and unwilling to break first.
Well, you were until now.
“Lloyd’s a selfish piece of shit, and I’m tired of it,” you shrug as Lloyd scoffs.
“I’m selfish?! You’re the one forcing me to do this shit or you’ll leave-”
“And why is that, Lloyd? Hmm? What fucking got us to this point?”
“Don’t.”
“You’re fucking job! Your son almost got killed and it’s still not enough for you to get your fucking shit together!”
“Okay, okay, lets back up for a second,” the therapist interrupts, happy to finally be getting somewhere with the two of you. “When you two talk about Lloyd going into another line of work, how do those conversations usually go?”
“He says no and that’s the end of the discussion,” you mutter.
“Bullshit! We argue, you tell me I’m an asshole, and-”
“And you keep your fucking job! I’m dramatic and whiny little bitch-”
“You’re acting like-”
“Lloyd, Travis almost died! Someone shot at us at fucking Disney! For fucks sake, you won’t even let me home school him!”
“He can’t just run away from his-”
“He’s not running away from shit, Lloyd! He’s fucking scared, he’s lonely, his friends don’t invite him over anymore, because parents aren’t too keen on their children hanging out with other kids that tend to get shot at-”
“He needs to be a man-”
“Lloyd, he is a 9 year old boy! He’s not you! He has every right to be afraid, because he’s been through hell! No one invites him to anything anymore! At least you have Denny! Travis only has us, and that’s a lonely fucking life!” you snap, wiping your eyes as you look out the window.
Lloyd’s silence lets you know that you’ve got him, and while you feel bad about hurting him, you need him to understand where you’re coming from. You need him to understand that all of this is taking a toll on both you and Travis.
“Lloyd, have you looked at all into a career where you’re not putting yourself at so much risk? Your family?”
“No, because there’s no point,” he sighs, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
“Lloyd, I’m sure Denny-”
“Denny knows there’s only one job I’m suited for, and that’s why he assigned it to me in the first place. Listen, it’s not lost on anyone in this room that I’m difficult at best, but I do love both Y/N and Travis more than anything in this world. I will keep you both safe-”
“And what about when you’re not home, Lloyd? What then? Because the last time...” you trail off as your tears start to flow freely.
For fucks sake.
“Hummingbird...that wasn’t your fault-”
“I had him that weekend, Lloyd. He was my responsibility, and...we almost lost him, Lloyd. I can’t...the stress of your job always falls back on the both of us, and I could handle it before. Even after the divorce, I had no problem with making excuses, stressing myself, losing sleep...it was all doable, because Travis was safe. Now? Lloyd, it’s just too much. I’m always worried about you, but now...your enemies have no reservations about going after your family. I know how much you love your work, how proud you are, and how good you are at it, but this isn’t going to work if you keep taking and giving nothing back. That’s what killed us before and it’s what will kill us this time, if your enemies don’t first.”
“You know that I can-”
“But Lloyd, you can’t. You can’t keep us safe, that’s already been proven! I don’t blame you for Travis, I honestly don’t. However, with that being said, you’re not home all the time, and it’s only worse with your job. Whether it’s you being away, or you making more enemies...there’s just no way it works unless we get a-”
“Do not finish that statement.”
“Well, what do you expect, Lloyd?! At some point, you need to come to terms with the fact that you can’t do the job you’ve been doing, and be a family man! You have to make a choice and I don’t want that choice being something that makes you regret Travis and myself!”
“That would never happen,” he sighs, leaning back and staring at his hands. “Why can’t you just trust me? I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve never-”
“Lloyd, this has nothing to do with lack of trust. I trust you more than anyone else in the world, which is probably a horrible decision, but it’s a fact. However, another fact is that you just can’t be two places at once. You can’t protect us when you’re not home.”
“You know-”
“Don’t you dare,” you warn with a sniffle. “I never signed up for this. It was a roll that I was forced to take! I have had miscarriages, my weight has been up and down for years, I have severe panic attacks that usually end up waking me up in the middle of the night, my hair falls out from stress...Lloyd, I love you, but I shouldn’t have to take on a roll I never asked for!”
“You could’ve left!”
“I did! I left and what did you do?! Find new ways to hurt me, ruin any potential for other relationships, beg me to take you back-”
“Hummingbird, I’m trying!”
“I never said you weren’t!” you sob, wiping your eyes again.
The therapist looks from you to Lloyd, writes something down, and then sets her notepad down.
What the hell does that mean?
“Lloyd, why can’t you just walk away from the job?” she asks after a moment. “What is it that makes it so hard to leave?”
“Because he doesn’t care about anything except what he wants,” you mutter with a sniffle.
“That’s not fair,” she quickly tells you, and while you know she’s right, it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes, “give him a chance to explain himself.”
“She knows that’s bullshit,” he mutters before taking a deep breath. “I’m good at a lot of things, it’s just something that comes to me. On the rare occasion that I’m not good at something, I work my ass off until I am. That being said, besides being Y/N’s husband and Travis’ dad, my job is what I’m the best at. Hell, it’s not like I can even say that I was the best husband, because Y/N was going through hell and I didn’t even notice. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that, but I can do my best to protect and keep them safe. No, it’s not the most ideal job and she’s always taken issue with it, but it’s one of the few times I feel normal. Everyone knows I have a reputation for being a sociopath, even you,” he nods towards the therapist, who shrugs with a head nod in response, “but this job? It was made for me. I’m in charge, I know what to do, I know how to keep my men in check, and it helps me keep my rage at bay. Without this job, I don’t know how to be a decent husband, let alone a decent Dad. The only reason I was never kicked off the football team was because of how good I was. My coach got so many complaints about how violent I was...it’s not like Y/N didn’t know any of this. She may deny it, but I’m more than sure it’s part of why she hung around. It was fun. I was fun and I’m not stupid, I know that as you get older, the fun starts to die away and you want stability, but she never left. Even with me accepting a job with the CIA, she still accepted my proposal and married me.
I know we have Travis now, and he’s our entire universe, but I’m still the man she fell in love with in college. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but I’ve never lied about any of it. If she could accept it then, at the beginning of our relationship, our marriage, and even when she had Travis, why not now? I know we’ve been through a lot, and I know it’s because of my job, but it’s nothing new. Yeah, it’s a lot to ask, but I’ll do anything either of them asks if I can just have this one thing,” he promises, his voice cracking slightly.
You know it’s because he’s finally coming to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to have the best of both worlds, and his heart is breaking just as much as yours is.
“We’ve reached the end of our time, but I think it’s very obvious to all of us that we’ve made progress today. I wanna give you two an assignment.”
“Fucking great,” Lloyd mutters.
“Stop it!” you snap.
“Try and go away for the weekend. Just you and Lloyd. Go away for a few days and talk. Really talk and maybe make a pro and con list about your relationship. It sounds silly, but it’ll help you both figure out if this relationship is something you should pursue or not.”
“We both want-”
“I didn’t say anything about ‘wanting’ the relationship, Lloyd. It’s obvious to anyone who looks at the two of you, that you two are deeply in love, but that doesn’t mean you two belong together. You two need to spend time alone and figure out if getting remarried is in both of your best interests. If it’s in Travis’ best interest,” she urges sincerely. “Now, our next appointment won’t be for another two weeks-”
“Two weeks?!”
“It’s not my fault that it took you two, two months to finally open up,” she snaps at him and you do nothing to hide your snicker. “We’ll meet again in two weeks, and we’ll go from there.”
“This is bullshit.”
“You really need to work on your ‘it’s all about me’ attitude, Lloyd,” she scowls. “I’ll see you two in two weeks.”
“Sounds good,” you smile at her as you and Lloyd both get up.
As you two make your way out of the building, Lloyd takes your hand in his and it just makes your heart break even more, because you know he’s trying. Hes always been trying, but you’re both coming to the painful realization that this just might be the end of the road for the both of you.
The car ride home is quiet, but Lloyd doesn’t let go of your hand for even a second. Every now and again, he gives a meaningful squeeze, but you both know it’s gonna take more than that to fix where you two are at.
“I can order dinner,” he offers as he pulls up to the house, that you occasionally call a home. “You’ve been making lunches and dinner ever day, it’s the least-”
“Travis prefers home cooked meals. After everything, it’s the least I can do to-”
“I know you’re tired, Hummingbird. You work hard and you-”
“I’m not really working hard, am I? I don’t have a job anymore-”
“It’s a suspension-”
“They fired me, Lloyd. They’re just being nice about it, because what happened on that call wasn’t actually my fault. However, the client was spooked and no one wants to work with someone who’s a risk of others getting injured or killed, so...”
“Hummingbird, I’m trying.”
“We both are, Lloyd. Just because we’re both trying and love each other, doesn’t mean-”
“But why can’t it?!”
“Because you can’t be the king of everything all the time!” you yell, your tears coming freely as you throw your hands up. “You need to control everything and I need some stability. Things aren’t going to just sort themselves out because we want them to! You think I want to break up again? You don’t think I wish that we could just magically figure this all out? I’m so madly in love with you, but I don’t love the life we live! Travis is in trouble every other day, he’s scared, the only time when we aren’t arguing is when we’re fucking...this isn’t working, but I don’t have the strength to walk away! Not again, because the problem wasn’t that we stopped being in love, the problem was your job and you inability to see past your own wants! I don’t know what to do anymore, Lloyd! Being without you is hell, but so is being with you and I just...I don’t know what to do anymore,” you sigh, wiping your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Now, lets get inside and take care of our nine year old son, whose grounded...again.”
“Wait, what? Why?” Lloyd asks, clearing his throat and rubbing his eyes.
“He got into another fight at school.”
“Jesus Christ!” Lloyd yells, getting out of the car and slamming it shut.
“Lloyd, stop it!” you yell, quickly getting out and running after him.
“No, he needs to stop with this shit! He can’t keep getting into fights! With how much money we fucking pay?!”
“Look who’s talking! Lloyd, I will handle this! Don’t go in there and-”
“TRAVIS!” he yells as soon as he steps foot in the house.
Great.
“What?” Travis scowls from the dining room table, not even bothering to look up from his book.
“Don’t you ‘what’ me! What the hell is wrong with you?! Another fight?! We just had this talk two weeks ago! Are you trying to get kicked out?!”
“I’m sure you can donate more money and fix it, just like you always do.”
“Your attitude is starting to become a real pain the ass!”
“Both of you stop it!” you yell, trying to stop the argument before it escalates any further.
“Don’t you have another job to leave for? You always have someplace to be that isn’t here with us, so why aren’t you there now?” Travis scowls, still not bothering to look up.
“THAT IS ENOUGH! THE BOTH YOU, IN THE LIVING AREA, NOW!” you yell, officially at your wits end.
Neither of them says a word, they both just roll their eyes and make their way over to the area.
God help you.
“Listen, I know this family has been through a lot, but the way the both of you speak to one another is not okay! Travis, you know good and damn well that you’re never allowed to speak to your Father like that! Lloyd! What the hell is wrong with you?! You don’t get to speak to him like that when you’re barely ever even home and you don’t know the full story! Travis didn’t even start the fight, he just finished it! He’s been getting bullied, a lot-”
“What?! Why didn’t-”
“Lloyd, you’ve been busy and haven’t had much time to talk-”
“I would’ve made time!”
“You never have before!” Travis interjects angrily.
“Travis, enough! Upstairs!”
“But Mom-”
“Go! I’ll deal with your Father, you need to go upstairs and cool off!”
Travis sucks his teeth as he gets up and makes his way up the stairs, stomping loudly, and it takes all you have in you not to yell at him.
“Something needs to be done about his fucking attitude,” Lloyd scowls and you roll your eyes as you make your way into the kitchen. “What?!”
“You were out of line, Lloyd. If I were Travis, I’d have the same fucking response.”
You grab the largest wine glass you can find and fill it, as you take your hair out of a ponytail, trying to figure out when exactly the house became a war zone.
Lloyd lets out a heavy sigh before grabbing a bottle of bourbon and a glass to go with it, before leaning against the counter top, “what happened?”
“Travis had a panic attack during his Math class. He gets skiddish when he hears loud noises, any type of a loud boom...he’s scared. The other kids know what happened, of course, so they pick on him because kids are devils. Anyway, there’s one kid in particular that keeps picking on him and he’s the one who triggered his panic attack.”
“So, some little shit triggers his panic attack and Travis gets suspended?!”
“Yeah well, Travis broke the kid’s nose and gave him a black eye.”
“Sounds like he let the kid off with a warning.”
“Lloyd.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“When? You’re never here, and when you are, you’re in a shitty mood. Every time I brought it up we ended up arguing. Big shock there.”
“That’s why you want to home school him,” he sighs rowing a hand through his hair.
“Lloyd, you’re never around. Even with you taking on desk work, you’re still gone. I can’t keep seeing him heartbroken like this. He’s gonna end up like us, for fucks sake.”
“It wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
“Lloyd, he’s not like you and me. Yes, he’s always had issues with his temper, but never like this. He’s angry all the time, and if he’s not angry, he’s upset. And if he’s not upset, he’s a recluse. That’s not our son and you know that. This isn’t his personality at all.”
“I want to fix this-”
“Then be here, Lloyd. It’s that fucking simple.”
“I don’t wanna argue, Hummingbird, alright? I’m imagining that there’s a meeting we need to go to?”
“Tomorrow at 1. I’ll let you know-”
“I’m going with you.”
“That’s definitely not a good idea,” you scoff before taking a giant sip of your wine. “I’ll handle it-”
“I’m his Father, Hummingbird. I should be there and you don’t have to keep doing all of this by yourself. You want me to be there, so I’m gonna try my hardest, okay? I know you don’t think so, but you and Travis are the center of my universe and I know...I know things have to change,” he mumbles, turning and caging you between his arms. “I’m trying, Hummingbird. We both want this-”
“Lloyd, we are both too old and I am too tired-”
“I can get this right, Hummingbird. I need to get this right,” he promises softly as he rests his forehead against yours. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you, Lloyd.”
“Sleep in our bed tonight,” he begs softly as his hand travels under your shirt.
“Lloyd, don’t.”
“It’s been weeks and I miss you. You know I’m sorry and how much I love you.”
“We can’t just fuck-”
“We’re not. I’m not just trying to fix what’s wrong with us with sex. I fucking miss you. I miss hearing you come alive for me, getting lost deep inside of you, “ he presses as he squeezes your hips.
“Lloyd!” you gasp, trying to keep your voice down.
Having intimate moments in random parts of the house is a lot harder when your child can make his way down the steps with ease.
“Tell me you’ll sleep in my bed tonight,” he continues to beg as he starts to kiss and suck on your neck, “our bed.”
“Huckleberry!”
“Tell me you’ll-”
“MOM!” Travis calls from the top of the steps as Lloyd backs away a little and throws his head back in frustration, “I need your help with this essay!”
“I’ll go,” Lloyd breathes as he rests his head against yours.
“No, he called for me-”
“He and I need to have a talk anyway. You stay here, think, get started on dinner...whatever you wanna do. I’ll go.”
He presses a soft kiss to your temple, before quickly turning and leaving, which leaves you all alone with your thoughts. You’re quick to rifle through your purse, pulling out your pack of cigarettes and a lighter, before grabbing your glass and making your way outside onto the back patio.
Taking a seat at the head of the outside dinner area, you light a cigarette and think about your relationship with Lloyd.
Both the good and the bad parts.
However, you feel the same thing you always feel when you think about the two of you (which has been a lot lately), and you come to the same conclusion every time. You can’t bring yourself to hate or regret any of it, and you can’t convince yourself that it’s truly time to call it quits. Yes, Lloyd can be a monster and hot headed but, in the spots reserved for only you and Travis (and you guess Denny), he’s the most amazing man you’ve ever met.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t turn it off, and you’ve been trying for years.
“I can tell that you’re upset with me, Hummingbird,” Lloyd chuckled as he laid down next to you on your bed.
“All the guy said was hi-”
“I didn’t like how he said it. You’re my girl and he should’ve known to keep his distance.”
“I’m not your anything. We fucked once and have been on a few dates. That doesn’t make us official.”
“You hate that you like me so much don’t you?”
“And what makes you think that I like you so fucking much?”
“Well, for starters,” he smirked as he sat up, “you’re getting worked up and that’s not like you unless you’re caught in a lie. Two, I sent those flowers to you two weeks ago, and they still look brand new. You wouldn’t care about them if they didn’t mean so much to you.”
“And how do you know so much about me?”
“Because I’ve been watching you.”
“Lloyd-”
“And you fucking like it, so don’t give me any shit. You’re not as oblivious as you like to seem. You know just as much about me as I do you. I’m territorial-”
“I’m not your fucking property, Lloyd.”
“No, you’re not property, but you are my girl.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“I know you’ve been watching the time, so I know you know it’s 1am.”
“So what?”
“So, you haven’t kicked me out, and you don’t want to kick me out, or you would have already. In fact, you haven’t even hinted at wanting me to leave.”
“Maybe I just like looking at you, Hansen,” you shrugged as you finally turned all of your attention towards him.
“Or maybe,” he smirked as he hoisted you up just a bit before forcing your legs around his waist, “you love the way I fuck you, just as much as I love fucking you.”
“I don’t love anything about you,” you moaned as ground your hips against his, clawing against his arms as you wordlessly begged for more.
“You love how I make you feel and that’s all I need for now. Until you’re ready to tell me, Hummingbird,” he mused as he ripped off your panties,
“Lloyd-”
“You tell me to stop and I will. I’m not going to take anything you’re not willing to give,” he smirked as he started stroking your clit with his thumb.
“You still hook up with other girls so I don’t know-”
“You say the word and I’ll stop. You just have to tell me how much you like me,” he teased, rubbing your clit a little faster.
You knew he had you, because no matter how hard you fought it, you really did like him. Yes, there were a million things wrong with him, but the way he treated you...
The flowers, the attention he paid to things that made you laugh and smile, the way he’d stay late with you at the library when you insisted on going over all your notes one more time even when he had an early practice or game the next day, how he’d stay on the phone with you even when you were asleep....yes, there were a lot of flaws with Lloyd Hansen, but they all seemed to melt away for you. He was notorious for treating women like trash, you’d seen him lose him temper on the field, you’d heard about the fights he’d gotten in over the smallest things. Hell, he’d just punched a guy in the face a few hours ago because he didn’t like how close a guy was standing next to you at a fucking frat party.
Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop being so fucking smitten with him.
“Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” he promised as he dipped down and kissed your hip bone.
You weren’t ready to tell him that you wanted him to be yours and yours only, so you instead you said, “make me feel better.”
You saw the flash of pain in his eyes, but he masked it well and started to kiss up your body. The kisses weren’t anything like the ones he gave you the first time you two hooked up. Granted, it had been over a month since you two fucked at the frat party held in his frat house, but you still remembered every touch and kiss like it was yesterday.
“Lloyd,” you moaned as he started to lick and suck on your hipbone.
“Tell me what you want, baby. I’ll do it,” he promised before dragging his tongue up your torso. “I’d do anything to make you happy.”
“I just wanna feel you,” you whimpered, losing all resolve as you felt yourself come to life for him.
“Always in my fucking crew neck,” he growled as he sat up, taking his hoodie and throwing it to the side, “it drives me fucking insane.”
“Take it back,” you moaned, pulling it over your head, taking his lead and throwing it on the floor.
“Fuck, no bra, baby? What took you so long?”
“I just wanna feel you right now,” you begged, pulling him close and kissing him passionately.
“I’m all yours,” he husked as forced his sweatpants down, “I belong to you and you only,” he promised as he pushed himself inside of you.
“Fuck!”
“You want me to make you feel better, Hummingbird? I’ll make you feel the best you’ve ever felt,” he promised before he captured in a soul stealing kiss.
In no time at all, you were moving your hips with his, gripping his hair tight as you pulled him close with your arms.
“Tell me how much you’ve been thinking about me,” he begged as he picked up his pace, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead to yours.
“Every day and every night,” you confessed, your walls tightening around him as you tried to fight off your release.
“Best pussy I’ve ever been in, did you know that, Hummingbird? Did you know that no other pussy milks my cock like yours? No one makes me feel like you do,” he groaned before he licked the side of your cheek with the tip of his tongue.
“Oh fuck!”
“I’d do anything to make you happy, Hummingbird. Anything to keep a smile on that gorgeous face of yours!”
“Lloyd...please!”
“Gonna fuckin’ make you mine, baby! Gonna make you happier than you’ve ever been and I’m gonna keep it that way!”
“Shit!” you cried out, toes curled and back arched at the words the words he said.
The promises he was making.
“I want you to cream on my cock, Hummingbird. I’ve been thinking about it since the last time I had you in my bed, and I need it so fucking bad,” he growled as he picked up his pace, “I fucking need you!”
“Need it! N-n-need you!”
“Fuck! C’mon, give it to me! I’ll keep you up all night, I promise!”
You couldn’t have held on if you tried. His name left your mouth like a desperate plea as you squirted hard on his cock, gripping his hair harder than you meant to.
“You’re a fucking dream,” he groaned as he filled you up.
Why couldn’t you stop your mind, body, and heart from desiring him in the worst ways?
“Don’t think about anything else right now, Hummingbird,” he cooed as he rode out your highs, “just be here with me, baby.”
You had no choice but to obey.
He was a good as his word and kept you up, being so insanely sweet and gentle with you, like he needed you to believe that this wasn’t just about the chase with you. He needed you to feel that it was more than just mind numbing fucking. You let him stay and hold you close that night, and it was the best you’d slept since the first time you two hooked up.
You like to lie to yourself and say that you don’t know why that memory holds so much weight with you, but you know it’s bullshit. Everything he said that night...everything he did...Lloyd let you know in his own way that his feelings were real, and you let yourself quietly accept that yours were real too.
You let yourself finally accept how much you truly cared about him.
Cared for him.
However, for as much as they memory warms your heart and makes you smile, the one that follows leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you’re ready to punch Lloyd in the dick.
“The fuck are you so mad about, Hummingbird?!” Lloyd yelled/slurred as he followed you around his frat house, drink in hand, as you stumbled around to get away from him.
“Fuck off, Hansen!”
“The fuck did I do?!”
“Besides go upstairs with half the women at this party? Nothing!”
“So you do like me,” he smirked as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to a stop.
“I fucking hate you!” you yelled, slapping him so hard he dropped his drink.
“Fucking bitch!”
“FUCK YOU!”
You two weren’t even a couple, but you were already arguing as if you two had been married for 50 years.
“Why the fuck shouldn’t I have any fun?! Huh?! You keep saying that this is nothing, so why shouldn’t have all the fun I want?!” he roared as he followed you into the kitchen.
“Ya know what, Lloyd? Fuck whoever you want! Fuck until your dick falls off! I don’t give a single fucking shit!” you yelled as you made yourself a drink.
“You clearly do if you’re yelling at me in my own goddamned frat house!”
“Oh? It’s your frat house? Did your daddy buy it for you, you spoiled fucking prince?!”
“Jesus Christ, Y/N! I can’t fucking make heads or tails of you! You say you don’t want this, but you get fucking pissed-”
“Why should I give you a fucking chance, Lloyd?! You say and do all of these things, and when you don’t get immediate results, you go and fuck around! So, what exactly is my incentive to date you? Give you a chance?!”
“Fucking come off it, Y/N,” he scoffed, “don’t blame me for the fact that you’re scared! You put up walls and make things complicated-”
“Then work for it! Fucking work for it you giant fucking child! I didn’t go after you, you came after me! You want me? The fucking earn me!”
“Why should I have to earn what you so willingly gave me in this very kitchen,” he chuckled with a smug grin.
The slap you gave him after that comment was probably the hardest one you’d ever given him.
“I fucking hate you. Know that I mean that with every fiber of my being. I hate you and I don’t ever want to see you again,” you sobbed before grabbing your drink and stormed out, Tina at your heels.
Of course, Lloyd refused to leave you alone. Whether it was having the men’s quartet at your classes and singing you love songs, having dozens of flowers sent to your dorm daily, or leaving romantic love letters left at your dorm every day, Lloyd didn’t let up. He kept at everything for months until you finally agreed to go back out with him.
You’re not sure if it was sheer irritation that got you to say yes, or the fact that you just missed him, but whatever it was you took him back. For better or worse, you took him back and decided he was worth all of the hell he put you through and that it was tolerable.
That being said, that was the outlook for the rest of your relationship.
Lloyd doing whatever he needed to, to invoke some sort of emotion out of you, so that you’d just admit that he’s all you ever wanted. Yes, it was toxic and you should’ve walked away in that moment, but the man made it impossible. You’d met your match in every way possible. Knowing that should’ve been enough for you to walk away, but it wasn’t and you hate that you can’t blame that on Lloyd. Yes, there were multiple options for you to just walk away, no matter how consistent Lloyd was, but you still made the decision to stay.
Even now, you can’t blame Lloyd for all the hell you go through. You always have an out, and if Lloyd truly believed you wanted to leave, he would let you. Yes, there would be the pain of him seeing you whenever you picked up (or he dropped off) Travis, but Lloyd has always been respectable enough to give you space and/or peace. As much you’d love to put your stress and anger on him, you know you can’t. You made your own personal hell and now you have to make a choice:
Do you keep trying to create a future that will no doubt be stressful but loving and worth it in the end, or do you keep following down the a path that just leads you to stress and frustration? Only time will tell and only you will be able to decide if it’s all worth it.
But fuck it all if you don’t don’t want Lloyd to be your endgame, even if it’s not what’s best for you.
Lloyd’s P.O.V
“Trav, you and I need to have a talk,” I sigh as I take seat his computer desk.
He’s nine years old, why the hell does he have such an intense computer setup?
“Aren’t you supposed to knock before you come in? Mom knocks,” he mutters, not even bothering to look up from his book.
“She’s the nicer one.”
“Didn’t she punch my gym teacher in the face just for making a remark about my attitude when it comes to leading team sports?”
“I said she’s nicer one, not the more sane one, and put the damn book down. I’m talking to you.”
“What?”
“Watch your fucking mouth. What’s going on at school, and why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“In order for me to tell you about anything, you’d have to be here for that,” he snaps.
Ah yes, that’s why he has an insane computer setup. Guilt.
“I’m here now.”
“Good job.”
“Travis, I swear to God-”
“You’re never home, Dad! Before, you were always away on missions. Now, you don’t do missions but you’re always at work, and when you are home, you get pissed off about every little thing. If you don’t give a damn, why should I say anything?”
“That’s not true and you know it. I’m just adjusting. I know I’m not good at it, but I’m working on it.”
“Are you capable of apologizing to anyone besides Mom?
“I apologize to you when you deserve one.”
“Now seems like a pretty good time.”
“Jesus, you’re so much like your Mother sometimes. I swear that sometimes I think you two work together to drive me insane.”
“Well, I’m the one who got sent to my room, so it can’t be all that bad.”
“You owe your Mother an apology.”
“Yeah, I know,” he sighs.
“Sit up and tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“Yeah, I don’t care. Get up and talk to me. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting bullied?”
“Didn’t we just discuss that?”
I swear he’s just like Y/N.
“Travis.”
“Some of the kids at school think it’s funny that I’m scared to go to gym class, or that I jump when a book drops, or that I have panic attacks.”
“Why the hell are youi afraid of gym class?”
“A ball bouncing off the wall? A basketball bouncing-”
“Okay okay,” I sigh, sitting back. “You can’t let the bullies win. That’s not how your Mom and I are rasinging you.”
“I fought back and got suspended and, I’m sorry, isn’t that the Hansen way?”
“Are we sure you’re only 9?”
“I learn from the best.”
“That you do. Do you want to be home schooled?”
“Not forever,” he mumbles and I roll my eyes. “What now?”
“Speak up, I’m not raising you to be shy!”
“Why isn’t Mom having this talk with me?”
“Because she’s making dinner and I’m your Father.”
“You should’ve ordered something,” he goes on, completely ignoring the part about me being his Father.
Great, my kid hates me too.
“I offered to and she said that you prefer home cooked meals.”
“It doesn’t matter, she’s stressed out. You just have to do it.”
“How do you know this?”
“When she gets really upset over the things you do, I make dinner or talk her into ordering food,” he shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
“I’m trying to do better-”
“Don’t try, Dad. Just do it. Mom is here all the time and she deals with all of it, and then has to deal with your mood swings on top of it? It’s not fair.”
“Yeah, I know,” I mutter as I get up.
“Now who isn’t speaking up?”
“Watch it,” I warn in the voice that lets him know he’s got no more buttons left to push, “and watch the swearing around your Mom. You know how much she hates it.”
“But why?”
“You’ve spent time with your grandparents, that’s not how she was raised. You’re too young to swear.”
“That’s not what you think.”
“You’re gonna swear anyway, so who gives a damn when you start? However, your Mom doesn’t like it, so cut it out.”
“I preferred when you two lived apart.”
“Well, get used to how things are now, because it’s how they’re staying.”
“Not if you keeo going on like this,” he mutters, picking up his book.
“Stop being a little shit and get ready for dinner. I’m taking everyone out.”
“Where?”
“Wherever your Mom wants. Get up and get dressed.”
Yeah, I owe him an apology, but he’s not getting one while he’s being a little shit.
It also doesn’t help that he’s right.
Trying to think of the romantic way to tell you that I’m taking you both out, I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen to see you sitting outside at the patio dinner table, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine.
How did I fuck this up again? We were doing good and then, as usual, I got in the way. I’m the one starting the arguments, I’m burying myself in an attempt to keep the bit of sanity that I have, I’m not there for Travis like I used to be...
I keep fucking it up.
You’re right: this isn’t college and we can’t go on raising Travis like this. I have to start giving and stop taking. I’m not afraid of much, but I am terrified of losing you again, and I can tell that you’re on your last leg. I’m unforgiving and an entitled asshole, and you knew that when you fell in love with me, but the charm was that I never treated you like everyone else.
Well, never to this extent.
Now, I keep taking too much and don’t even think of giving anything back, and I can’t be mad that you’re ready to call off the wedding. Hell, I haven’t even seen you look at a bridal magazine in months.
If this is gonna get better at all, it’s gonna have to start with me.
Y/N’s P.OV.
“What the fuck is going on with you and Hansen?” Tina asked as you both left the library.
“Clearly nothing,” you mumbled, annoyed with yourself for how worked up you got over him at the frat party last week.
You don’t know why you let his words get to you, because Lloyd Hansen only looks out for Lloyd Hansen. It’s all just a game to him and you knew you needed to stop believing you were any different.
“Well, if it were nothing, why the hell did you slap him so hard?”
“As if anyone needs a good reason to slap Lloyd in thr face.”
“I’m not saying it’s not long overdue, but it’s not like you at all. Plus, ever since, you’ve been getting flowers, poems sent to you, teachers seem to be more lax with you-”
“What’s done is done and Lloyd can go fuck himself. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I’m done thinking it,” you huffed as held back your tears.
You weren’t about to cry over him again, and especially not infront of Tina. No one knows how much Lloyd means to you, and if you keep it that way, you can pretend he never meant much to you either.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
“Babe, what’s going on? What happened between you two?”
“You and everyone else saw what happened: he went down on me in the kitchen, he took me up to his room and fucked me until I was too tired to walk, we went on a few dates, we fucked again, and then decided to take multiple women up to his room at the frat party he invited me to, and that’s that. I don’t know, I just think it’s pretty shit to tell a person you’re no longer interested that way.”
“I mean...it’s Lloyd. It’s not like he has a decent bone in his body,” she scoffed as you two walked down your dormitry hall. “What did he tell you that made you believe-”
“Tina, can we please stop talking about...I left my door closed,” you said cautiously as your footsteps started to come slower.
“Does anyone besides either of us have a key?”
“Nope,” you sighed, cautiously pushing the door open, only to be met with complete and utter shock. “What the...”
Your dorm room was filled with pink and white peonies, your absolute favorites, and already knew who was behind it.
Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? To make it worse, you could feel your heart swelling in your chesr with so much happiness, and your brain couldn’t understand why. Lloyd went out his way just to hurt you, because you wanted to be smart and take your time, so why do all of his actions mean so much?
“Of course you’re here with Tina,” Lloyd mumbled, visibly upset as he rolled his eyes, getting off of your bed.
“Lloyd-”
“Tina, get out,” he snapped at her.
“Excuse me?!”
“This talk doesn’t concern you-”
“It concerns my best friend!”
“Who isn’t you. Get out.”
“Lloyd-”
“Tina, there’s no point in going back and forth, because he’s not going to leave,” you scowled, dropping your bag before picking up one of the flowers.
Yeah, you were pissed, but the flowers were gorgeous.
“Are you sure, Y/N?”
“Yeah babe, I’ll call you later,” you smiled, wondering why the hell you weren’t telling her to stay.
You knew how things would go the second she closed the door.
“Fuck you, Hansen,” she spat before leaving and slamming the door behind her.
“How can you stand to be friends with her? She’s such a bitch.”
“Now, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”
“Hummingbird-”
“What the hell do you want, Lloyd?”
“Don’t kick me out before you’ve even heard me out.”
“I don’t feel like hearing anything you have to say. You made your point perfectly clear-”
“No, I didn’t and I’m-”
“Lloyd, just go back-”
“Can you shut up and let me fucking apologize?! Jesus!” he snapped and you jumped at his tone, as well as the fact that he’d just apologized.
Lloyd Hansen never apologized to anyone for anything.
“Listen...you’re right, okay? I don’t give you any reason to believe me, so I shouldn’t be all that surprised that you don’t wanna date me. What I did last week...it was fucked up and I did it out of anger-”
“Anger? How the fuck were you angry with me?!”
“Because you wom’t just admit that you like me! I’ve laid it all out for you, I’ve made the gestures, I’ve-”
“You’ve been sleeping around, you’ve let your temper get the best of you, you’re immature-”
“You don’t need to list every flaw that I have,” he growled. “You’re right and I’m sorry-”
“Lloyd, just leave me alone, please,” you started to sob, throwing the flower down. “You make these big gestures, you say all these things, and then you fucking hurt me. I didn’t do-”
“I meant everything I said to you that night, Hummingbird,” he cooed as he slowly made his way over to you. “I want to make you happy and keep you happy forever, no one has ever made me feel like you do, and I don’t know...it scares me,” he confessed as he wrapped his arms around your waist.
“Lloyd, please just-”
“I’m not trying to make your life harder-I’m not!” he repeated when you scoffed, “I’m figuring this out, okay? I’ve never...I just want you and In know that you just want me.”
“I don’t know what I want,” you sobbed, finally meeting his gaze, surprised to see just how soft loving it was, and of course it made you yearn for him all that much more.
“I do, Humming. I’ve always known,” he told you breathlessly before cupped your face and kissed you as if he hadn’t seen you in years.
You weren’t surprised by how quickly you’d caved at all. Even with your brain telling you to stop, you also knew that no part of you could deny that you’d missed him. Yeah, you’d missed the sex, but you also just missed Lloyd. You missed the way he teased you about your study habits, you missed him waiting for you outside of your classes, you missed him bringing you dinner and late night snacks when he knew you were staying up too late, the late night phone calls, the personal talks...
You missed Lloyd.
You were both relentless that night, unspoken promises were made, and you let him stay over and hold you close after all was said and done. When morning came, you told him that the night before didn’t change anything and that if really wanted you, he was going to have to really earn you.
You kept the poor man at a distance for almost two months. Then, one night after a football game, everything changed and set what was to be your future in motion.
“Hummingbird, lets go. You’ve had more than enough,” he all but growled as he tried to pull you off of the bar top you were dancing on with Tina.
“Fuck off, Hansen!” you snapped, pulling your hand back as you kept dancing, still mad at him from the argument you two had before the football game.
It also didn’t help that you had 8 shots of tequila consecutively.
“I mean it, Hummingbird. Get your ass off the bar and lets go!”
“Piss off, Hansen!”
“Shut the fuck up, Tina!” he roared back.
It was truly amazing to you how much they hated each other.
You were able to resume dancing for all of 10 seconds before you felt Lloyd’s strong arm around your waist, pulling you down, “hey, let go of me!”
“Time to go back and sleep this off.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you, you fucking asshole!”
“Denny, get your bastard best friend in line!” Tina yelled, pout on her face at the sight of you being dragged away.
“Denny, get your dumb bitch in line!” Lloyd called back, not even bothering to look in the direction of either of them.
“Lloyd, I fucking hate you!” you screamed, still fighting against him.
“Calm the fuck down!”
“Let me go!” you yelled before spat in his face.
He had it coming for the whole damn day in your defence.
“That’s enough, Y/N!” he snapped, finally jerking you still. “I don’t give a fuck that you’re mad at me, you’re too fucking drunk and you need to lay down! We’re going back to my place, you’re sleeping it off, and that’s final!”
“Fine,” you muttered as you finally stopped the scene you were making, but being completely turned on by the way he was controlling you.
“You little bitch, you would fucking spit...stand outside the bathroom and do not move!” he commanded before shoving the bathroom door open.
“Your boyfriend seems like a real dick,” some guy smirked before he took a sip of his beer and leaned against the wall.
“That prick is not my boyfriend,” you scoffed, trying to decide if you wanted to disobey Lloyd or not.
You really wanted another drink.
“You wanna get away from him?”
“When don’t I?”
“Then lets go,” he chuckled before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you out the backdoor with him.
“What the...let me go!”
What was it with guys pulling you around that night?
“C’mon, you said yourself that you wanna get away from that guy!”
“That didn’t mean I wanted to leave with you! Leave me alone!”
“Listen, I saw you dancing on the bar like a little whore-”
“It wasn’t for you! Leave me-”
“Listen, you little bitch! You’re gonna give me what I want and I’ll give you back to your slutty little friend! Now quit-”
“Let me go!” you screamed before you stomped on his foot as hard you could with your heel before elbowing him in the stomach.
“Bitch!” he yelled, doubled over in pain as you started to run off.
How was this happening to you?
You got but only so far before being tackled, “help!”
“Now, you’re gonna fucking pay! I’m gonna make sure you’re in pain for a fuckin week!” he promised as he roughly forced you onto your back, scraping your knees against the gravel in the process before he ripped open your skirt.
“Please stop!” you cried, hitting his chest as hard as you could, but it was useless. “Get off of me!”
“Shut up!”
“The woman said to get off of her!” Lloyd yelled before he kicked the guy in the face and practically sent him flying. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Lloyd asked, rage taking over his entire demeanor as he looked you over.
You couldn’t think of any response other than to shake your head ‘no’.
“I’ll be right back,” he promised before turning and facing the asshole who was trying to get back up. “Come here you piece of shit! When someone fucking says no, you fucking stop!”
You tried to tell him to stop, but you couldn’t swallow down the lump in your throat, and you couldn’t stop shaking. Lloyd was relentless as kept landing blow after blow, but making sure to keep him upright. It’s not like you had the perfect view of his face, but you could tell that he was completely unhinged. Yeah, you’d seen him lose his temper before, but never like this.
“Now, do you understand that no means no?” he growled, holding the piece of shit up by the lapel of his shirt.
“I...I won’t...I’ll never do it again,” the man sputtered out, trying to stay up right.
“I wanna believe you Lamb Chop,” he pouted, feigning sympathy, “but I’m afraid there’s only one way that I’ll believe that something like this will never happen again.”
As if it were the easiest thing in the world, Lloyd snapped the pathetic man’s neck. You didn’t gasp, but the shaking definitely stopped.
“Are you okay?” Lloyd asked again, as he made his way over to you, voice soft as if he hadn’t just killed a man.
All you did was look up at him, eyes wide with shock.
“Hummingbird, are you okay?”
You just nodded. Lloyd sighed, half in annoyance and half in sympathy. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to his frat house, not caring at all that it was a 20 minute walk.
You were quiet for the entire walk, because what could you say? What could you do? You’d just witnessed him kill someone as it were the easiest thing in the world, and he didn’t even seem slightly bothered by it. He just held you close while you clung to him as if your life depended on it, and you both stayed like that until you reached his room.
“You need to clean yourself up,” he told you gently after he finished cleaning up the cuts on your knees.
“That...that guy-”
“Is never going to bother you again.”
“But you...he’s just laying there-”
“It’s taken care of.”
“But what if-”
“Everything is going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about. He’ll never bother you again. No one will.”
“I should go back-”
“Stay here tonight and we’ll figure it all out tomorrow.”
“Lloyd...you have to-”
“I have to make sure you’re all good, Hummingbird.”
“No. No, you need to make sure-”
“Stop it. Every thing is as it should be. Go and clean up.”
In all honesty, that should’ve been enough for you. You knew, that night, that you needed to walk away. Lloyd had murdered someone and felt absolutely no remorse over it. In fact, as you stood under the shower head that night, you were more than sure that wasn’t his first time. When you got out of the shower, you cracked the door and heard him on the phone with someone (more than likely Denny), and he was talking to them about a neat “clean up”. Yes, that night showed you the kind of man you were dealing with, and you had more than enough proof that it was time to walk away.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you dried yourself off, got in bed next to him, and let him hold you close, feeling safer than you’d ever had in your life. Yeah, he’d killed a man, but he killed him for you. He’d told you time and time again that he’d do anything to keep you safe and that night he proved it. Plus, after that night, he was so insanely patient and sweet with you. For a man who had a reputation for not being able to keep his dick in his pants, he didn’t sleep around and didn’t mention anything sexual until you straddled him after an amazing football victory.
No, you can’t blame for Lloyd for much, because he’d never hidden who and how he truly was from the very beginning. You’d always known that he was hot headed, unhinged, and cruel. You’d always known that he was conniving, secretive, and was prone to violent outburst. You’d always known about every horrible thing about him, and maybe that’s why you stayed. Lloyd never seemed to give a damn about anyone or anything, but he gave a damn about you. He let you in more than he’d ever let anyone else in and it made you feel like he wasn’t lying.
When you had a chance to get out, you didn’t.
And yes: you did have an out. Lloyd backed off a lot after he murdered that asshole, because even he knew that he’d shown you the darkest side of himself. He saw the fear in your eyes that night, and he knew it would be best to back off and give you your space, but you pursued him. So yes, to an extent, this was your fault. Lloyd had always been himself and you decided to stay.
You always told yourself that he would grow out of it (which you knew was fucking stupid), and that he’d stick to the career path you two had setup. Looking back on it, maybe he just made the career path to appease you, and maybe you just wanted to live in the fucked fairy-tale just a bit longer, because somewhere deep down inside you knew.
You knew he would never be able to stick to being a football player, because he didn’t know how to listen to anyone (except maybe you), he didn’t do well in social settings unless he had to, and he always hit too damn hard on the field because of his temper and his need to lash out. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew your fairy-tale would end after college graduation. That’s why you fought with him over joining the CIA, and it’s why you knew he’d fail at it. However, you were hopeful that him getting kicked out would push him to choose another career path, but then they asked him to join the private sector and you knew you were fucked.
Yes, to an extent, you could blame yourself but that didn’t clear him of all wrong doing. You’d sacrificed so much if yourself for him and didn’t think the idea of him returning the favor was so far fetched. Fine, he had to work just like you did (especially to afford the life he wanted to live), but once you got pregnant, it should’ve been easy for him to see for himself that he needed to take a step back. It should’ve been enough for him to finally giving instead of taking.
He took you wanting him to take a step back as sign of no longer supporting him, when in fact, it was all about safety and security. For all of the flaws that it had, you loved your life and you wanted it to stay as it had become. The fact that Lloyd couldn’t see that is what triggered the arguments. Sure, you could’ve been more vocal (though you’re pretty sure you made your point pretty fucking clear), but it’s not like it was fucking rocket science. You two had a kid and safety precautions needed to be taken.
What was once a quality you adored about him, his ability and need to be stubborn and hold on to his beliefs, became a quality you hated. Still, you held on and tried to make the best of it, because you loved him with every fiber of your being. You knew the relationship was dying, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to let go. Even with the lonely nights, the brutal arguments, and the sleepless nights you couldn’t walk away.
Then he cheated, something you purposely pushed him towards, and you had an out again. Yeah, the whole process was awful and you hated it, but you told yourself it was for the best because it truly was. He needed something you could no longer offer, and you just couldn’t take feeling like another burden in his life. It was a clean break.
Except for Travis.
Despite all of the issues you and Lloyd had, you both loved Travis more than anything in the world. Lloyd was on time to pick him up whenever it was turn to have him, he stayed on him about his schoolwork and studying for any possible thing that could come up, and did his absolutebet to be every event Travis had. If you’re honest with yourself, it’s one of the reasons it was so hard for you to fall out of love with him. He was so dedicated and he loved Travis more than either ever thought possible. How could you not stay in love with him?
Still, enough damage had happened that it was easy enough for you to stay away, but it wasn’t enough to make you stop wanting and needing him.
“He was good this weekend,” Lloyd commented as Travis ran into your house.
“Did he make a fuss about the food? I know his appetite has been changing lately.”
“Yeah, since when the hell did he start liking peas?”
“That happened on Monday,” you laughed softly, “he wasn’t too fussy?”
“He gets sad sometimes, he likes having the both of us around, but I took him to the aquarium.”
“Oh God,” you groaned, covering your face with your hands.
“What?” he laughed.
“He’s gonna beg me to take him back. He’s been obsessed with it lately.”
“I didn’t know-”
“No, it’s fine. He’s a good kid, he deserves it.”
“Mama! Dad can stay for a bit, right?!” Travis asked enthusiastically.
“Uh...it’s up to your Dad,” you smiled at Lloyd with a shrug.
“Yeah, I can hang around for bit,” he smiled to Travis.
“Great! Mom made chicken parm and salad! We can watch ‘Tombstone’!” he practically yelled before he ran towards the kitchen.
Nights like that made it easy to blur the lines, because it was so easy to fall into a routine, and fall even more in love with Lloyd. Yes, Lloyd did a lot of fucked up things, but when it came to you in Travis, he was a good man. He’d stay over, watch movies, play video games, and read him stories until he fell asleep. Those were the nights that made it hard to stay away. Yeah, you only slept with him once during the divorce, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t other fuck ups, and they weren’t even his fault.
He’d be in the middle of what his schedule looked like for the week and you’d just kiss him. You knew that you were the one who set the rules in place, but seeing him in full Dad mode made you forget for just a moment about all of the hell you two had gone through. In those moments, you remembered how things were supposed to go. You two were still so much in love and having those small moments really made you want him all that much more. You never meant for those moments to happen, especially during the holidays, but it was just so damn hard. When Lloyd Hansen wants to be, he is the most loving and caring person to exist.
Which is why you’re currently staring at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom connected to the spare bedroom, trying to decide if going to Lloyd is the best thing. You know that if you go in there, you two won’t be able to keep to your hands to yourselves and you’ll end up under his spell.
Like always.
However, you can’t stop yourself from wanting him. His touch alone is enough to bring you peace, but him being buried deep inside you...that’s heaven.
It’s home.
It’s not even about needing to be satisfied physically, it’s the fact that no one will ever understand or love you the way that Lloyd does. He gets your crude and cruel sense of humor, he knows the best and worst parts of you, and he’s the Father of your child. Your relationship with him should be perfect, but it’s a fucking shit show, and you know that. You truly do, but no matter how much you try and get your heart to remember that one simple fact, you can’t. You’ve never been able to.
Lloyd, for all of his demons and flaws, is your endgame.
So, you don’t stop yourself from throwing on one of his old and beaten up Harvard sweaters (he always wanted to get rid of them but they held too much meaning to you), and a pair of boxer shorts, and making your way to his room. You know it’s not in your best interest, but you need him.
“Hey,” you say softly, standing in the doorway and looking down at your feet, “dinner was nice...thanks. I’m happy you and Travis made up.”
“We didn’t make up,” Lloyd scoffs as he throws his phone down, “he just hates me a little less than he did when we got home before.”
“He doesn’t hate you, Lloyd.”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“Yes he does,” you sigh, making your way into his bedroom and closing the door behind you, “he just...it’s gonna take time.”
“You’re always nicer than you should be,” he chuckles humorlessly.
“Well, I do love you.”
“A love I don’t deserve.”
“That’s also true.”
“Way to twist the knife.” “You said it.”
“Hummingbird, I really want...I need us to work this out. I can’t lose you again.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Lloyd. It’s not like I’m not still wearing the ring, I’m the one who wanted therapy, I’m making the effort instead of just walking away....I do want this. I’ve wanted this ever since our first date,” you smile weakly as you take a seat on the bed you two are supposed to share. “I just can’t take the stress your job puts on this family. Our family. Travis is in a fight every other week, we’re always arguing, both and Travis and I are always anxious to leave the house, I’m back keeping a pistol both in the glove compartment and my purse-”
“I don’t know how to be apart of this world as a regular, day-to-day citizen and you know that! You’ve always known that!”
“Then why did we have a child? A child that you were barely around for when he was first born!”
“Because I wanted everything with you! I still want everything with you!”
“This was a bad idea,” you sigh as you go to getup, “I don’t wanna spend another night-”
“Don’t go,” he pleads softly as he grabs your wrist, “please don’t go.”
It’s amazing how just his touch is enough to send your mind into a fog. It’s not like you went in there with any fight to begin with, but the hold he has on your wrist is more than enough to get you to give in to what you truly want. You’re straddling him almost instantly, cupping his before you pull him into a deep and passionate kiss.
You finally feel whole again.
“I miss you,” he breathes once you two break apart.
“Miss you too, baby,” you confess, pulling back just a little before pulling his sweater off, “I hate being away from you.”
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he marvels as his hands trace over your body, “I still can’t believe that you’re all mine. That you fucking chose me.”
“I’ll choose you every time, Huckleberry,” you moan as he massages your breasts, kneading your nipples between his fingers.
Once again, it’s never been lost on you how toxic the dance you two do is. You two can’t keep trying to solve everything with sex, you two have a child who sees the toxic relationship you two have daily, and your relationship is on its last leg.
All of that being said, you can’t fucking stop, because Lloyd is everything to you. Your family is everything to you. Everything you’ve ever wanted is everything Lloyd has given to you. The sad fact of the matter is, no matter how bad things are, you know you’ll never have the strength to tell him ‘no’. Hell, even if you two do breakup again, you wouldn’t deny him access to you any time he wanted.
That’s the hardest part about being in love with a devil. They’re a million and ten things wrong with Lloyd, and he was right: you knew all this and still started on this twisted and deranged fairy-tale with him. You should be repulsed by him, and it was a lot easier to be in high school when he was a preppy asshole, but for you? For you, Lloyd would do practically anything. He’s your sweetheart, your best friend, your comedian, your knight in shining armor, and he’s the love of your life.
He’s your Huckleberry.
In a matter of moments, your boxer shorts are off and you’re on top of him, ignoring all of the voices in your head telling you that this is a horrible idea.
“Fuck,” you sigh, slowly sinking yourself down on his cock, digging your nails into his shoulder as he pulls you apart, “oh God!”
“You look so fucking beautiful when you’re on top, Hummingbird,” he growls, gripping your hips tight as you start to grind your hips against, “and this fucking pussy!”
“Lloyd,” you whimper, trying to keep quiet as you chase the high only he can give you.
“Gonna do better for you, Hummingbird...be the man you deserve,” he promises as he starts to pump up into you hard and fast.
“SHIT!”
So much for being quiet.
“C’mon Hummingbird, give me what I need,” he begs, watching you in pure awe as you try and hang on, his hands finds its way between your legs and starts massage your clit, “been way too long, Hummingbird!”
“Oh God, please...yes! YES! FUCK!” you cry out, squirting hard on his cock, almost falling forward.
At some point, some point soon, you need to look into therapy for Travis.
“All for me and we’re just getting started,” he pants with a grin before getting you on your back, “gonna make you feel so fucking good tonight,” he promises before kissing you passionately as he starts to pump into you hard and fast.
“I love...love you so much, baby,” you moan, cupping his face as you let yourself get lost in the lie all over again.
“Yeah? Show much just how much tonight,” he whispers hotly against your ear, his hands caressing your body before nipping on your earlobe.
Yes, somewhere in the back of your mind, you know that the promises that are being made in this moment won’t stand when you’re able to think clearly, but you don’t care. Right now, you just can’t. You’ve been in love with Lloyd for so long and, if all you can do is live in the make believe world of happiness you two always find a way to make for yourselves, then you’ll take it.
You’ve missed your husband, you’ve missed his touch, you’ve missed him being buried deep inside of you, and you’ve missed feeling complete. Lloyd may be a complete and total monster, but he’s the only person whose ever made you feel seen and understood. Lloyd is perfect for you, except for all of the parts of him that aren’t.
How the hell are you ever supposed to feel secure in the choice you have to make? Being with him is the most draining and exhausting thing you’ve ever done, but being without him is absolute Hell and makes you feel insanely alone and depressed. There truly feels like no right answer.
You two spend the next couple of hours professing your love to one another, getting lost in the love that you feel for one another (which started all those years ago), and promise each other that you’ll work it all out.
You truly want to believe that you two will work it all out, because you don’t know how you’re supposed to go without him again. It just doesn’t feel possible.
“I called my Mother earlier,” Lloyd sighs, getting back into bed with you after cleaning you up, “she said she’ll take Travis for the week.”
“Why is he staying with your parents?”
“Why not?”
“Cause there’s no fucking structure in your family.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it, Hummingbird.”
“I’m sorry, have you not met yourself?”
“Fuck you.”
“You just did.”
“After the conference, we’re gonna go away and talk this out,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around you. “We’re find a way to make this work.”
“Lloyd-”
“I can’t be without you, Hummingbird. I can’t and I won’t. We’re gonna make this work,” he promises, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. “We can make this work...we can be good again, Hummingbird,” he sighs, kissing the back if your neck softly.
You slowly start drifting off, feeling more relaxed and at ease then you have in weeks. You’re finally back where you belong, but you can’t stop one question from racing through your brain:
Were you two even really good to begin with?
**
“Mr. and Mrs Hansen,” Travis’ principle sighs, “this isn’t the first time we’ve had to talk about Travis’ behavior.”
No, you and Lloyd aren’t married again, but you’re still wearing the engagement ring, so who are you to correct her? Besides, you really do miss being Mrs. Hansen.
“You’re right, it isn’t, but Travis went to you and told you-”
“Our sweet boy has a broken nose! Your son-”
“Your son has been bullying mine for months!” you snap at Mrs. Heston, the mother of the kid Travis punched.
“So, your son had the right to respond with violence? Is that what you teach in your home?” Mr. Heston scoffs in a tone of pure disbelief.
“Better to teach our son to stand up for himself than to teach him to be a little rude little bitch,” Lloyd snarls.
“Mr. Hansen!” the principle reprimands.
“Listen,” you quickly interrupt in a weak attempt to defuse the situation, “Travis shouldn’t have hit Maxwell and he knows that, HOWEVER, Travis had come to you about it and you did nothing about it.”
“Boys will be boys, you know that,” Mrs. Heston chuckles, “he was only teasing-”
“I don’t think you would find it all that fucking funny if the shoe were on the other foot,” you snarl, quickly loosing all composure.
“No, it is by no means funny what happened to your son, and we’re truly happy he’s okay, but that doesn’t make up for him breaking our son’s nose. Your child is violent and on his way to becoming a delinquent,” Mr. Heston finishes with a huff and a nod.
You should’ve known that if you didn’t snap on one of these idiots, Lloyd would.In almost an instant, Lloyd is on the other side of the room and landing a blow to Mr. Heston’s face.
“Lloyd,” you sigh with a frustrated groan, grabbing your purse and getting up.
“You and your son a two little pieces shit,” Lloyd growls, ignoring you and the fact that hes now terrified the Hestons and the principal as he steps on the man’s chest, “and I’ll see both of you useless cum stains in hell,” he spits. “Don’t worry about Travis making up for time lost, because we’re pulling him out of this shit cage. The place is run by a bunch of morons anyway.”
“Mr. Hansen! We can work something-”
“We’re done here,” he says with a shrug before strutting out as if he hadn’t just scared the shit out of everyone with his temper.
No matter how hard he tries, they’re just some things about Lloyd Hansen that’ll never change.
“Mrs. Hansen-”
“You heard him: we’re done here,” you glare before following him out. “Lloyd-”
“Why don’t I ever fucking listen? And why the fuck don’t I ever listen?!”
“This isn’t field work, babe,” you sigh, taking your hand in his, “you can’t just hit people in the face-”
“You heard them! They weren’t taking accountability for their snot nosed little shit-”
“Lloyd, who do you thinks deals with all of this when you’re gone or too caught up with work? I know how they talk about him, how they see us, and I see the judgemental stares. I know how infuriating all of it is, but you can’t just fly off the handle because someone got under your skin.”
“Since when?”
“Since this isn’t your world. This is Travis’ world and you need to remember that your actions effect his life. Yeah, I’m happy that we’re finally pulling him out of hell hole, but he still has one or two friends. You don’t think this will get out?”
“It’s annoying...you always being right is annoying,” he sighs, finally coming to a stop, facing you, and leaning his forehead against yours as you giggle softly. “I’m sorry.”
“You know, I’m not the only one you owe an apology to.”
“Yeah, when we get back.”
“Why did you ask your Mom to take him for the week?”
“We need more than a weekend to talk this shit out, and I’m sure Travis needs a break from me and all my bullshit. My Mom adores the shit out of him and I know my Dad will keep him busy with books and sports talk.”
“There’s still no fucking structure at your parents place.”
“Next time, we’ll let him stay at your parents place,” he mumbles, “lets get out of here.”
“We to do the paperwork-”
“My assistant will take care of it. We need to get out of here before I break something.”
“You and that temper of yours,” you smirk before resuming your trip out of the building.
“It’s not like you fell in love thinking I was some fucking choir boy.”
“You are in fact correct, Huckleberry.”
“There’s my good little Hummingbird,” he coos and you start laughing.
God, please let this trip help the both of you, because you don’t know how the hell he’ll survive without you.
Or how you’ll survive without him.
**
The drive to wherever the hell Lloyd rented for you two is starting to feel like it’ll never end.
“Lloyd, can you please just tell me-”
“Hummingbird, stop asking.”
“We’ve been in the car for three and a half hours!”
“We’ve stopped for food and snacks-”
“That’s not the point, Lloyd! I’m tired of being in the car!”
“You weren’t this fussy when I drove you to the farm to propose to you.”
“Yes I was!”
“You were? I guess I was more nervous than I thought,” he says nonchalantly.
“Wait, you were nervous-”
“We’re here!” he announces, letting you know he won’t be diving back into that for the time being.
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You begrudgingly turn attention to the windshield and gasp, “Lloyd!”
“I know this isn’t necessarily going to be fun, but I still wanted to try for you. You’ve been wanting to take a trip to the mountains for years, and I thought could at least soften some of the blows.”
“I don’t want to spend a week arguing with you, babe.”
“It’s not like I want to, and this is on me, but you’re the one who keeps saying that we have to be honest with one another about this shit. I want this to work. Us to work. So, lets rip off the band-aid.”
“Thank you, Lloyd. I love you.”
“I love you too, Hummingbird...ya know,” he starts with a mischievous grin, “we don’t have to start this thing off with an argument.”
“I swear to God,” you laugh as he unlocks the doors.
“There’s my good girl.”
The instant he’s on your side of the car, he’s opening your door, throwing you over his shoulder, and you can’t stop from giggling and kicking your legs a little as he rushes up the steps to unlock the front door. He’s quick to kick the door closed and is moving so fast that you barely get to take in the blur that is the house around you.
Well, it’s more like a mansion.
“Can’t wait to get you upstairs,” Lloyd husks as he sets you down on the kitchen counter, “I need you to make me feel better in only the way you can, and I need it now.”
“Take what you need, daddy,” you moan at the feel of his fingers skillfully undoing your jeans.
“Such a good girl,” he smirks, roughly pulling your pants off, and ripping your panties off, “you wore my favorite red lace ones? Aww, daddy will make it up to you later, sweetie. For now, daddy’s gonna abuse this this fucking body until he’s fucking satisfied, understand me?” he states firmly, sliding two fingers into your dripping cunt.
“Please,” you sigh, ecstasy taking over your body as lay back on your on your elbows, “do your worst daddy, please!”
“Daddy’s good little slut.”
“Anything for you!”
You writhe in pleasure as he starts to massage your clit, opting to take off your shirt and your bra, because you know what’s coming and you need to feel all of him when it finally gets to that point.
“Fuck! Need to...fuck!”
“Daddy didn’t say you can cum yet,” he taunts condescendingly, slapping your cunt with his other hand.
“DADDY!”
“You better not fuckin cum until I say so,” he warns, his voice menacing, only making you clench around his fingers, “been so long since you’ve been my little hasn’t it?”
“Too fucking long, daddy,” you moan as you start to massage your breasts, a silent gasp escaping your lips as you start kneading your nipples between your fingers.
“Change of plans, sweetie, you’re gonna finish off in daddy’s mouth.”
Instantly, Lloyd pulls you to the edge of the smooth marble countertop, dips down and starts sucking and pulling on your clit, and you buck your hips as you arch your back. Yeah, you two spent hours making up for lost time last night, but this is so much more different. Last night was all about apologies and making each other feel the love you’d both felt you’d been lacking, but right now? Right now is all about getting out all of those pent up feelings of anger and aggression, and not even towards each other. You haven’t forgotten that a few short hours ago, he punched a man in the face and practically stomped on his chest.
Yeah, you love the punishments he gives you, and it’s been entirely too long, but if denies you of an orgasm you may actually commit a crime.
“You’re so fucking good to me, daddy!” you whimper, eyes welling up with tears as you grip his hair and start grinding your pussy against his face. When you removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue, you know you can’t hold on any longer, “please!”
With one hand, he grips your thigh tight, while teasing your clit with his thumb with the other, and you know he’s giving you his permission, thank God. You scream his name, gripping his hair tighter than you mean (you know he doesn’t give a shit), trying to enjoy the feel of him tongue fucking you through your high, but it isn’t enough.
You need more.
“Such a desperate, needy little thing,” he pants with a grin, clearly satisfied with his work as he stands up and looks you over, your juices shinning in his mustache.
“Daddy,” you beg pathetically, chest heaving as you prop yourself up on your shoulders, “please.”
“Please what?” he growls, unzipping his pants as he looks you over in your wrecked state, making no attempt to hide how much he wants to destroy you.
“Fuck me.”
“Say it again.”
“Fuck me. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk, daddy. Destroy me, please!” you beg as your hand slides between your legs and you start to massage your clit. “Or do I have to remind you how to do it?”
In the blink of an eye, Lloyd pulls you off the counter, turns you around and pins your hands behind your back with one hand, forces you against the counter, and thrusts himself inside of you.
“FUCK!”
“You think you’re so fucking cute, don’t you?” he snarls as he slams into you hard and fast. “Thinking I forgot how to take care of what’s mine? Like I don’t know how the fuck to satisfy you?”
“DADDY!”
“Don’t go fucking stupid on me now, you little bitch! Answer the fucking question!”
All you can do is lull your head back as you scratch up your own wrists, getting lost in pure pleasure at feel of his breath on your neck.
Lloyd isn’t having that.
With his free hand, he grips your hair tight, pulls it tight and says, “I want a fucking answer. You get your fucking pussy eaten and forget how to respond? I asked you a fucking question!”
“Daddy!”
“Don’t tell me it’s too much for you now. Already fucked so stupid that you can’t answer a simple fucking question?” he asks, relentlessly fucking into you as he pulls your hair harder.
“I...I know you can fuck me good, daddy! I’m sorry-”
“Not yet, you little bitch!” he growls as he grips your throat. “Don’t ever make that mistake again, you understand me?!”
“Anything you say, daddy!” you sob, climax building as you try and fight off another release. “I’ll be so good for you!” “You bet your fucking ass you will be!” he growls as his grip on your neck gets tighter. “Pussy is so fucking tight...such a sweet little whore! Cum for daddy! Make a mess and cum so fucking hard for me, sweet girl!”
“FUCK!”
As you squirt hard on his cock (you’re more than sure you’ve gotten it on his pants), and your legs tremble as they struggle to hold you upright, you can’t help but wonder why Lloyd is the only person who can satisfy your needs.
“That’s a good girl,” he praises as your eyes flutter shut and you lull your head back. “Remember when we first started fucking? No one had ever been inside that tight little fucking asshole,” he taunts as his hand travels down your body, before reaching your ass and slapping it hard.
“Daddy!”
“Do you remember?”
“Fuck...yes! Yes, your cock is the only one...the only one thats been in my ass!”
“Been so long...think I might have to stretch out this tight little ass after I eat it. What do ya think, honey?”
“Please, daddy! Anything you want!” you whimper tugging at his shirt, “please!”
“What does my queen need?” he husks hotly against your ear, his grip tightening a little and you know he’s close.
“Please...take it off...wanna feel all of you!”
“Anything you want,” he promises with a grunt before forcing you to bend over the countertop, releasing your hands, taking his top off, and gripping your hips, tight. “You’re gonna cum hard for me while I fill you up, then you’re clean daddy off, and I’m gonna fuck you until I’m satisfied, you understand me, sweet girl?”
All you’re able to get out is a garbled moan as you claw at the countertop, too lost in the pleasure of him fucking you like his own personal rag doll.
“Daddy’s perfect little girl,” he chuckles darkly, “my favorite little cum slut, come on, baby, give me what I want!” he demands slamming his hips into you as he fills you to the brim.
Your brain may not be able to respond properly, but your body is on autopilot. You let out a pitiful moan as you squirt hard, laying your head against the cool marble top as your legs almost give out again.
“Always making such a pretty mess for me, baby,” he coos softly as he strokes your ass while pulling out, before slapping your it hard, “now clean me up!” he demands harshly.
What the hell were you two even supposed to be arguing about this week?
You do your best to get on your knees quickly, but the idea of functioning in any way is somewhat lost on you, and you know Lloyd loves it. Yeah, Lloyd loves when you’re a little sex vixen, but he also loves when he turns you into a puddle. The only thing that Lloyd loves more than your tears from getting lost in euphoria, is you being completely weak and a giant puddle.
He loves that, after all this time, he still makes you feel better than anyone else ever has and ever will.
“Look up at me, honey. Let me see that beautiful little face,” he demands condescendingly as he grips your face.
You can’t even begin to imagine how fucking wrecked you look. You’re more than sure your mascara is ruined, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you have a dazed and fucked out look on your face.
You look exactly the way he loves.
“My beautiful little cum dump,” he snickers, “open.”
You instantly obey and he doesn’t even give you a chance to prepare yourself for him, before he starts roughly face fucking you. The crazed look in his eyes only makes you crave him more, and the devilish smirk playing on his lips lets you know that he knows what’s going on in your brain.
“Need me to stuff that pussy with this fat cock again, Hummingbird? Make you cum until you pass out and I’m still fucking you? You miss that so much don’t you?” he teases as he grips your hair tighter.
You can only moan in response, but you know he knows that you’re agreeing with him. As much as you love Travis, things changed drastically once he was brought into the picture.
As they should have.
Yes, you and Lloyd still had what some may call ‘wild sex’ (Tina did), but you two brought it down a lot. There would be no way in hell for the two of you to explain to a three year old why Lloyd’s balls deep in your ass while you have a ball gag in your mouth, and your hands are bound behind your back.
Maybe that’s also a factor that you hadn’t thought of when it comes to the reason as to why you two fell apart.
No, you two didn’t make sex your entire relationship, but it definitely played an important part. You were just as sexual and perverse in your sexual desires as Lloyd was, and when the arguments started to become more and more, the sex became less and less. It’s not like either of you wanted it to happen, but the angrier you two got, the harder it was for you two to separate angry sex from mind-numbing, passionate sex.
Lack of conversation, lack of passion, lack of sex...all of it truly played a part in the downfall of your relationship, but you can’t focus on that right now. Not when you two have each other like this, vulnerable and out in the open like this. Yes, you two would have date nights when Travis would go and stay with his friends or his grandparents, but it wasn’t the same, because you both were waiting on him to call and ask either of you to pick him up. No, this was different because, for the first time in a long time, you two had real alone time together.
Neither of you were about to ruin it with drama that hadn’t even stared yet.
“Tell me how much you need, daddy, Hummingbird,” Lloyd moans as he continues to fuck your mouth. “You love when I fucking destroy you for anyone else?”
You don’t even make an effort to try and push him off so you can answer him. You just keep taking the assault he gives you, hoping your eyes tell him everything you need to say but can’t.
“Daddy should reward you, shouldn’t he?” he chastises as he grips your hair and forces you off his cock.
God help you.
Without any hesitation, he’s pulling you up, before picking you up and forcing your legs around his waist.
“You did so good for daddy, Hummingbird,” he praises as he thrusts himself inside of you, and you gasp at the feel of him splitting you apart all over again. “Always been such a good little whore for me, baby,” he coos as he softly drags his nose across your collar bone. “So filthy and so beautiful, and it’s all for me, isn’t it?”
“Only ever for you, daddy,” you whimper, your head lulling back as he fucks into you as if hes been without you for years.
Easily enough, he maneuvers around the house, as if hes been there a million times, as he kisses you all over, the hairs of his mustache tickling your chest lightly as you grip his hair and roll your hips against his. God, you can’t remember the last time you two were able to be so needy and desperate in the most pathetic way. Even though you two have been back together for a little over a year, you’re always the one to remind him that Travis is at the age where he can be emotionally scarred by the weird and kinky shit you two are into.
“Daddy’s gonna be nice and let you take what you want from him,” he groans as he takes a seat on the couch, licking your chest with the tip of his tongue and it sends a shiver down your spine as you feel him go deeper inside of you.
“Missed you so much,” you whimper as you start to ride him, “haven’t had you like this in forever, daddy!”
“Yeah? You missed being fucked like the little desperate whore you are?”
“You know I do!”
“My poor little sweet thing,” he coos condescendingly as you pick up your pace, his hand snaking its way around your throat and gripping it tight, “been so unsatisfied because I haven’t been able to fuck in the torture room like I did a couple of months ago?”
“DADDY!”
“Took my cock so fucking well that night, baby, remember?” he questions as he presses kisses along your neck.
There’s no way you could forget that night. Travis had gone to bed early, you and Lloyd got into a drunken argument, you told him that you two needed to take it to the basement because you both were getting too loud and you didn’t wanna wake Travis, and it turned into fucking all night in positions you hadn’t done since college.
The next day, Travis kept asking you why you were walking so slow and funny, and you lied and told him you pulled something.
“Oh, someone’s close,” Lloyd smirks, as you clench around him at just the thought of that night.
“Feels so good to be your rag doll, daddy! So happy...so happy to please you!”
“Jesus, fucking cum for me right now, Hummingbird! Fucking make a mess all over this fucking sofa!”
“Can’t...need to fucking...oh my GOD!”
“Be a good girl for daddy and fucking cum!” he demands roughly.
It’s amazing how quickly you turn into putty for this man.
“God, YES!” you scream as your release washes over.
Lloyd gives you no chance to recover as he pins you down and starts fucking into you hard and fast.
“DADDY PLEASE!”
“Such a filthy little thing,” he grunts, his pace unrelenting as you claw at his back, “creaming all over my fucking cock like a desperate little whore!”
“I’m so fucking close!”
“Yeah you fucking are, and you’re gonna fucking ruin this sofa with that sweet cream between your fucking legs!”
“Oh my...FUCK! YES, PLEASE!”
“Give it to me, Hummingbird!”
“LLOYD!” you scream as you cream hard all over his cock, more than sure you’ve followed his command of making a mess on the sofa.
“Y/N!” he growls into your neck, his release filling you up, and you can’t help but smile at the feel of it leaking out and running down your ass cheeks. You both take a moment to get yourselves together, before Lloyd asks, “you had enough, Hummingbird?”
“Not even close,” you breathe.
“That’s my girl.”
You and Lloyd stay at it for hours, he has you in every room he can find (almost as if he’s christening the house), marking each other up, degrading each other, while also building each other up, and it’s heaven. You want to stay locked in this moment for the week, but you know you two have to deal with reality at some point.
“Daddy! Please don’t stop!” you cry out as Lloyd fucks into you relentlessly from behind, as you two fuck up the pillows in the master bedroom.
“Give me that sweet cream! Be the little slut you’ve always been and make a fucking mess!”
“Can’t...so close!”
“C’mon, I know my Hummingbird can-”
“FUCK!” you scream as his hand tightens around your neck, your orgasm hitting so hard your legs almost give out.
“Such a good fucking girl,” he growls as he fills you for what feels like the millionth time. “Always such a warm fucking finish,” he breathes as he rests his head in the crook of your neck.
He rides out both of your highs before pulling out, collapsing next to you, and pulling you close. You lay your head on his chest, rest one of your hands on his pecs, and try to match his breathing.
It’s the closest you’ve felt to heaven in a long time.
“You ready to argue?” he asks once his breathing evens out.
“I guess so.”
“Lets fuckin have it out, Hummingbird.”
God help you both.
**
The arguments you two have in the next few days following your grand opening fuck fest are brutal to say the least.
“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Hummingbird,” Lloyd growled as he walked out of the kitchen and into the back patio.
“Well you’re gonna fucking hear about it! You’re the greediest son of a bitch, and I am tired of you acting like it’s everyone else with the fucking problem!”
“Hummingbird, you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve being mad about a fucking job that keeps a roof over your head-”
“I had my own fucking job that kept a roof over Travis and I’s head-”
“And where is that job now?!”
“Watch it, Hansen,” you warned, “lets not get into the fucking blame game here, because we both know it wasn’t me who lost me that fucking job!”
“Jesus Christ, Y/N! You’ve always known that my job comes with a level of-”
“Oh my God! You’re a fucking sociopath that has a nice fucking government job to hide behind!”
“You know that’s not-”
“It is! Stop lying to me like I’m someone who hasn’t known the darker parts of you-”
“EXACTLY! YOU FUCKING KNEW!” he roared at you. “You’ve known since that, and I’m pretty fucking sure since before then too! I backed off and gave you a chance to leave, and you sought me out! Don’t make it seem like I dragged you into hell! You willingly came-”
“THEN WE HAD A FUCKING CHILD, LLOYD! Why is it so preposterous that I wanted you to pull back, you selfish fuck?! What the fuck did you expect me to do?! I didn’t stray from the career path, you did! And you sure as shit made sure to tell me about it after you made your choice!”
“Then why did you say ‘yes’?!”
“Because I love you, you stupid sack of shit! I love you and, I don’t know, I thought that we’d have some sort of fucking future together, because you kept talking about settling down and having a family! Then, in trying to fucking start that family with you, I had two fucking miscarriages that you couldn’t even be bothered to notice, because you were too wrapped up in yourself to even fucking notice anything! For fucks sake, did you even want Travis? Or was it just to feed into this version of yourself that you were trying to create?! Jesus, do you even fucking love him?!” you shouted, instantly regretting it.
“FUCK YOU!” he spat. “You fucking know that you and him are my entire universe-”
“THEN WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE IT?!” you screamed as your tears finally started to fall. “You make us feel like the biggest burdens, when all we’re trying to do is be a part of your world-”
“MY WORLD IS TOO DARK FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!”
“THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FIGHTING SO HARD TO SAVE THIS FUCKING DEAD END MARRIAGE?!” you sobbed before you stormed back into the house.
You both would take things entirely too far, holding each other accountable for every terrible crime you two had committed against each other, and wanting one another to know that neither of you was blameless in the downfall of the marriage. However Lloyd, being the secret sweetheart that he is, would make sure you two didn’t go to bed mad at one another.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed as he approached the bedroom, leaning against the door frame.
“We’re a fucking time bomb,” you sniffled with a halfhearted chuckle as you wiped your eyes.
“I constantly ask why you didn’t just leave, like I didn’t bother the fuck out of you, and that’s not fair. The moment I laid eyes on you, I needed you and I didn’t want you with anyone else. In High School, I knew I didn’t have a chance, but college? I told myself that I’d be a version of myself that you deserved. I tried to fit into a roll that I never had any business trying to to even get close to. I really want to be that guy for you, Hummingbird. The guy. My actions never follow up, and...I know it’s on me and I’m sorry.”
“I shouldn’t have said what I did about you loving Travis. I know how much you love the both of us, it’s never been a question, and that was a low blow. I’m really sorry, Lloyd.
“I love you, Hummingbird.”
“I love you too, Huckleberry.”
“Maybe we should start leaving certain things off the table?”
“Maybe we should start learning how to control our tempers,” you giggled as he made his way into the bed room. He was slow to get to the bed, but was quick to pull you close. “I want to save this “dead end marriage”, because you and Travis are my entire life and I need to start acting like it.”
“Why is it so simple for you in these moments, but-”
“Please don’t ask, because I don’t fucking know. I really don’t, but I know that I do truly want to make this work. I know I don’t always act like it or always show it, but I fucking mean it, Hummingbird. I exist for you and Travis and you and Travis alone. I will be better, and I know I keep saying that and fucking up, but I will be.”
“Lloyd, would it be so terrible if we just walked away-”
“You know it would be. Don’t do that. Don’t ask questions-”
“We’re always hurting one another-”
“No, I’m always hurting you and lashing out at you when you rightfully get angry. Losing you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with, with almost losing Travis coming in at number one with almost dying. Being without either of you is something I can’t do.”
“Lloyd...” you trailed off with a sob.
“Hummingbird,” he cooed softly as he gripped your waist and pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him, “we can do this. You’re right when you say this isn’t college and we can’t keep going on like we have, and I know it’s on me. It’s on me and I swear I’m gonna do better. Please, just don’t give up on us. It’s a hard ask, but please.”
“Lloyd...”
“Please,” he begged softly before he started to litter the side of your neck with soft and desperate kisses. “Please.”
That’s when you were always at war with yourself. You knew what came with the soft and sweet moments: the darkness and chaos of his world. However, Lloyd is your world, and walking away isn’t as easy as everyone would like for it to be.
“How’re you?” Travis asked via FaceTime as you took a seat at the patio outside. “Where’s Dad?”
“I’m good. We both are. He’s at the grocery store.”
“Are you two coming back soon? I love Gran and Poppy, but they’re driving me crazy. I asked to go and see Nana and Pop-pop and Gran damn near threw a fit.”
“Travis!”
“Well, she did!” he huffed as he settled onto his bed. “How did you even end up with Dad? Your families are so different. You two are so different.”
“Sometimes opposites just attract,” you sighed, knowing where it was headed.
“I just don’t get it. Dad’s an asshole. He’s either here and ruining everyone’s mood, or he’s buried in work and acting like we don’t exist.”
“He’s adjusting. It’s hard, Trav. We’re all adjusting, because the life we’re trying to have now is a lot different from the one we had before.”
“Yeah, but you left him.”
“It’s not because I don’t love him anymore. Honey, we both love each other so much, and your Father would do absolutely anything for you.”
“I know,” he muttered.
“He’s trying, baby.”
“Well, he needs to try harder.”
“Travis, I know it’s hard, trust me, but you have to have patience with him. No matter what happens between he and I, he’s always going to be your Father and he thinks the world of you. Even if he doesn’t always act like it.”
“I just wish he could be normal.”
“There’s no such thing as normal, sweetie. I hate to break it to you.”
“Normal dads don’t punch other dads in the face.”
“He was being a total dick and it was more than warranted. Sometimes, your Dad shows his love with his fists.”
“But it’s a problem when I do it.”
“When you start making a living off if, maybe I’ll reconsider it,” you smiled sarcastically as you took a sip of wine. “Just...give him a chance, honey. He stopped doing field work to be closer to home and keep an eye on us, but it’s a major change for him too. It’s a major change for all of us, and we’re all doing our best.”
“I liked him a lot more when he wasn’t home.”
“Travis...please. If you only knew just how much he truly loves you.”
“What does he even do?”
“You know he works with your Godfather.”
“Doing what?”
“Things you’re not old enough to know about yet, and you don’t want to know about.”
“I’ve almost died twice-”
“And he feels terrible about that! Travis, I’ve only ever seen your Father cry once, and it was when you were fighting for your life. He still hates himself for that.”
“Mom-”
“Travis, he’s not a bad guy. He may gray the area sometimes, but when it comes to this family, he’s not a bad guy. Please.”
“I know that he loves me, and I love him. I want us all to be together, but not if he’s going to keep-”
“He’s not. Travis, I promise. He knows that things have to change and he’s determined to make those changes. Please, just be patient. I know you’ve dealt with a lot, but everyone is doing their absolute best. It’s going to get better. No matter what happens between your Father and I, things are going to get better for you.”
“Do I really get to be home schooled?”
“Yup, it was all your Dad’s doing.”
“Really?”
“Yup, he finally gets it.”
“I miss going to the aquarium with him.”
“Have you told him?”
“No.”
“Do you think you should?”
“He doesn’t seem to wanna be bothered by me.”
“Trav, he misses you too. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to spend time with you. He thinks you hate him.”
“Well, I think he doesn’t give a shit about me.”
“Travis, I swear to God-’
“Gran doesn’t care!”
“And look how your Father turned out. There’s no fucking structure in that family,” you muttered before you could stop yourself, “do NOT say that.”
“Everyone can swear except me.”
“Stop being in such a rush to grow up. It sucks,” you laughed before taking a sip of your drink.
“Can we all go to a movie or something when you two get back?”
“Funny you should ask, because your Dad got us tickets to a Patriots game next week-”
“HE DID?!”
“He thought it’d be make you happy,” he laughed softly. “He really wants to make things right, honey. I know it’s a lot and it’s not easy, but he’s trying. Just give him time, okay?”
“Fine. I guess it’s not-”
“TRAVY!” Stef, Lloyd’s Mother called and you rolled your eyes.
“I swear to God that’s the dumbest nickname ever,” you scowled.
“Why do you hate her so much?”
“I don’t hate your Grandmother, she’s just...a lot to deal with. Look at your Father.”
“You chose him.”
“That I did,” you laughed. “Go see what she wants before she has a breakdown. I love you and your dad and I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“I love you too, Mom. I can’t wait till you’re both back,” he smiled before hanging up.
For just a moment, your heart felt lighter and you were happier, but it all went away when you saw Lloyd leaning against the doorway.
“How much did you hear?” you asked softly.
“Lets go for a hike, Hummingbird,” he shrugged as he pushed himself off the door frame and slid his shoes back on.
“Lloyd-”
“It makes no sense to come all the way out here and not doing something you love. It’s been forever, c’mon.”
The drive was silent, and the hike was silent too, until you reached the waterfalls and you two took a seat.
“He hates me,” Lloyd muttered after a moment.
“Lloyd-”
“Don’t try to butter me up, Hummingbird. He hates-”
“He doesn’t hate you, Huckleberry, he just doesn’t know you. At least, not anymore. Who you were before the incident and who you are now...you’re not the same with him.”
“I don’t want him to be soft and unprotected-”
“You don’t have to be your Father, Lloyd. It’s best if you aren’t,” you chuckled humorlessly.
“There’s nothing wrong-”
“Look at our family, Huckleberry. Look at us. No, your Father isn’t terrible, but he’s the farthest from the best.”
“You love me.”
“And I’m still trying to figure out why,” you smirked.
“Come here,” he encouraged with a devilish smirk.
“Lloyd-”
“Come rest in my lap, Hummingbird.”
You knew that it would only lead to trouble, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you straddled him.
“Daddy-”
“Remember the last time we were in front of a waterfall? That’s when you got pregnant with Travis.”
“Daddy-”
“Lets see if we can recreate that night...minus the bonfire,” he chuckled before he started biting sucking on your sweet spot.
Yes, a lot of days (if not all of them) had ended with sex, but it was nothing like when you two were fucking to avoid the problem at hand. You two were making love because you wanted to make up for lost time and because you both just wanted to feel close again. It feels like it’s been forever since you and Lloyd just got to hangout and you truly did miss your best friend.
“I think our son is gonna kill your parents,” you giggle as you make your way out onto the upper deck.
“Yeah, I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago. Next time, we’ll leave him with your parents,” he mutters as he pulls you down onto his lap.
“How’d that conversation go?”
“Good. He wants to go to the aquarium when we get back. Just me and him, he thanked me for finally deciding on home schooling, and I apologized for being a complete jackass for the last few months...and before that.”
“Both my boys finally getting along again,” you sigh a small smile on your lips as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I feel bad. We should rent this house again and bring him next time. He’d love it. Like his Mother, he’d hate the drive, but he’d love it here.”
“We can bring him here whenever we want. This is our house.”
“I’m sorry, come again?! you exclaim, sitting up and looking directly at him.
“It’s ours,” he chuckles, perfect showing just a bit, “well, if you decide you want there to be an us. I had it built for you. No matter what you decide, I wanted to give you something big, and I feel like this is a good start.”
“Lloyd...”
“We’ve been together for how long and I just did this for you? I owe you so much, and I figure this was the easiest to start with.”
“Lloyd! This had to cost a fortune!”
“Don’t worry about it-”
“Oh God, who did you kill?”
“What does that mean?”
“Whenever you’ve told me not to worry about something, it’s because you killed someone.”
“Name one time-”
“The boss I had before my last one. I told you that I didn’t get the promotion, and the very next day, I had the promotion and my boss was dead.”
“He was an asshole.”
“You still killed him.”
“You let me fuck you so hard we broke the bed. You didn’t seem too torn up about it.”
“I called you a piece of shit all night,” you retort with an eye roll.
“Well, not all night. You did let stick that-”
“LLOYD!”
“I didn’t kill anyone, Jesus Christ,” he laughs, grip on you tightening a little. “Denny did.”
“Jesus!”
“It was all business related. I’m a million miles away from it. Any way, the person who needed the favor, offered Denny anything he wanted, Denny asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted this.”
“Why did he ask you what you wanted?”
“He feels bad. He doesn’t care about much, but he cares about this family cause it’s his too, and he can’t help but feel slightly responsible for the current state we’re in.”
“Do my ears deceive me? Are Lloyd Hansen and Denny Carmichael actually...soft?” you question with a gasp, feigning surprise.
“Watch it, Hummingbird,” he warns and you flip him off.
“You don’t scare me, Hansen. My crazy can match yours.”
“Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.”
“You were nervous to propose to me?” you question, remembering how quickly he changed the subject once he pulled up to the house.
“Of course I was,” he scoffs as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“You didn’t seem nervous.”
“Why do I feel like you wanna have a long talk about this?”
“Because you’re as smart as you are pretty,” you smile sarcastically and he rolls his eyes.
“Inside, Hummingbird. If we’re gonna talk about my fucking feelings, I’m gonna need a fucking drink.”
“That’s not a good habit,” you mumble as he picks you up and forces your legs around his waist.
“Yeah well, you have me in a rare position and that’s terrifying to me too,” he shrugs while opening the screen door, smirking as he looks down your exposed cleavage in your low-cut shirt.
“What position is that?” you giggle as he rushes down the stairs.
“The position of me giving you whatever your heart desires.”
“Except quitting,” you sigh as he places you on the kitchen counter.
“You and I both know there’s gotta be some work around from me quitting. I agree, I need to handle all of this shit better, but quit and do what, Hummingbird?”
“You could be a coach, open your own weapons store, work on the analytics team for the Patriots, work for fucking Harvard-”
“You know good and fucking well that none of those jobs will keep me and my issues at bay.”
“Lloyd-”
“Can we have one argument at a time?”
“I don’t wanna argue about this!”
“We always argue about it! This is what the hold up is with our relationship, isn’t it? You’re in love with someone who’s fucked up in multiple ways, and I won’t let you go because you and Travis are the one thing in this world that I actually give a damn about. The one thing that you can’t deal with is the job, and it’s not even because it makes you look at me in a different light. You’ve seen what I’ve done, you’ve done what I’ve done, and you get it. The issue isn’t that you hate what I do, it’s that it’s a risk a to Travis, and you hate that. You hate it because you should be repulsed by what I do and how I am, and it should’ve been enough to make you walk away years ago, but it wasn’t. Now, you have an unhinged husband and a child fighting for normalcy, and unlike me, us having a child was enough for you to realize that things needed to change.”
“Then why can’t you-”
“BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO, HUMMINGBIRD!” he shouts, and you feel his heart break at his confession. “I am not like you! I can’t just look at the fucked up shit I do and say, “it’s time to find something else.”! No, I keep thinking I can fix everything and save everyone, because I don’t know how to be normal around our son without doing all of the dark bullshit you don’t want to know about! So yes, that is where we keep getting stuck, because neither of us can find a solution!”
“Lloyd-”
“I know I’m not easiest to love, Hummingbird. I know that I’ve made all of this hard since day one, but you stayed despite all of it. You stayed and made me feel normal and safe, and how could I not fall more in love with you? Now, this is where we are, and I can’t fucking blame you, I really can’t, but I can’t let either of you go. You want me to lay all my cards on the table? There they are. I don’t know how to be the man you need me to be without this job,” he sighs before he downs his drink.
You don’t even know how to respond, because everything he said is right. You hate that you’ve always been able to stomach and look away from the shit he does, because of how he is with you. Lloyd is capable of a lot of horrible things, but for you? He’s always been your knight in shinning armor. Granted, he’s a chaotic knight and shinning armor, but he’s still yours nonetheless. The fact of the matter is, if his job wasn’t so dangerous to Travis, you’d still look the other way. You’d look the other way, pretend it was all normal and okay, and go on with your happy family.
The reality of this makes you face a harsh truth: maybe Lloyd was never the issues. Maybe its always been you.
“Why were you nervous to propose?” you ask softly, faint smile playing on your lips as you blink back your tears.
“Hummingbird-”
“Why?”
“The same I’m nervous now: you don’t need me.”
“Lloyd-”
“It’s not a slight at you, Hummingbird, it’s just a fact. You’re smart as a whip, you can get any job you want, you’re gorgeous, you’re strong...you don’t nee me. Maybe that’s what always attracted me to you, maybe it’s what made me want to be better, and maybe it’s what drives me insane. What the hell would you ever need me for? To raise a kid? Travis is clearly better off with you,” he scoffs as he pours himself a drink and pours you one of your own. “Its been clear from day one that you don’t need shit from me, and that terrified me, because I needed you. I’ve always needed you and and I always will. You’re the normal one, I’m not,” he smirks as he puts your drink down next to you before settling between your legs.
“Huckleberry...”
“I need you to reel me back in, I need you to make simple fucking meals, I need you to tell me when I’m getting too high off the ground, I need your love, I need your patience, I need to hear your laughter, I need your understanding, I need your guidance...I needed you and I’ve never needed anyone. Even now, I need you more than you’ve ever needed me-”
“I really wish you knew how much that isn’t true. Lloyd...I didn’t feel like I was alive until I started...hanging out with you,” you laugh softly. “I’m able to be such a good Mom, because I know Travis has you to fall back on, if that makes any sense. I know you’re always in his corner, wanting the best for him, and always loving him. The love I know you feel for him is what keeps me strong when I feel like I’m doing all of this wrong. You attempting to make breakfast when I’m too tired and/or worn out to do it, you taking him for an extra week when you could tell that I needed to decompress over whatever war I’d gone through with my Mother...you know me, Lloyd. You know me better than anyone else ever has, and you’ll always know me better than anyone else ever will.”
“Tell me we can make this work,” he begs softly, leaning his forehead against yours.
“I really want us to, and you’re right. You’re 100% right. If Travis weren’t in the picture, I would be able to keep continuing to stomach it and look the other way, but I can’t anymore. I love him too much- “
“You don’t think I do too?!”
“I never said that. I know you do, Lloyd-”
“Then why can’t you just trust-”
“Lloyd we’ve almost lost him twice. Something’s gotta give, Huckleberry. I can’t live in the constant state of fear and anxiety. I love you, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s not fair to Travis and it’s not fair to me.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
“Lloyd, you always-”
“Hummingbird, I will figure this out. Just...please,” he begs softly.
You look up into his eyes and you can tell that he means everything he’s saying. There’s still a part of you that’s telling you, you two should just stop now and save each from more battle wounds, but there’s also a bigger part of you that you and Lloyd aren’t finished yet and never will be.
“Lloyd, I’m done with the arguing, the back and forth, and you’ve gotta keep your shit together around Travis. Even if you and I are having an argument.”
“I swear.”
“Lloyd, I fucking mean it. I can’t keep being the only who gives while you just take-”
“Hummingbird, I swear, shit is gonna change. But don’t...”
His heavy sigh lets you know that he’s at war with himself about what he’s going to say.
“Jesus...I love you, Y/N. I will never stop and you’re my world. You and Travis...don’t say yes to me if this isn’t what you truly want. It was different before, and I get that. What I did, what you saw me do...if you want to leave, if you don’t truly want this anymore....Hummingbird...this is your out, cause if you say you’re staying then this is it. There’s no leaving, breaking up, time apart, separating...this is it, Hummingbird. If you want to end it all for good, you need to say so now,” he tells you sincerely.
A small smile tugs at your lips as you cup his face, “that is a hell of thing for you to say to me.”
Instantly, Lloyd picking you up, forcing your legs around his waist, and running towards the stairs as you burst out laughing.
“Lloyd! I have to make dinner!” you squeal as he effortlessly runs up the steps.
“Fuck dinner, What I want is right between those fucking perfect legs of yours!”
“Lloyd!”
“We’re in for a long night, Mrs. Hansen.”
As you and Lloyd keep each other up, getting lost in each other repeatedly and almost breaking the damn bed (again), an oddly calming feeling that you’ve never with him before. Yes, you’ve been in love with him forever, but there’s always been a sense of dread and stress in the back of your mind. It’s obviously never been enough for you to walk away, but it’s been enough to always make you wonder what exactly is wrong with you to stay in a relationship a very obvious sociopath.
However, as you two finally get back into the kitchen and you start on dinner as he goes over what he wants for wedding number two, something tells you that it’s gonna work out this time. You don’t know what it is, you don’t wanna think too much on what it could be, but you’ve felt this at ease before and you know it’s gonna be okay.
For the first time in a very long time, you know things are finally go the way they’re supposed to go.
**
4 Months Later...
“Where is he?!” you asked frantically as you made your into the frat house, seeing two guys with bloodied (and you’re assuming broken) noses, and one guy laid out with a black eye.
“In the game room, drunk as fuck,” Denny mumbled as he gave one of the guys an ice pack.
“What the hell happened?!”
“I don’t know, Y/N. You know how he is. Lloyd is a fucking time bomb. One second, he’s fine and the next...”
“Why has no one ever fucking considered putting him on meds?!”
“I thought you met his parents three months ago?”
“Something had to trigger it though. What happened leading up to this brawl to end all brawls?” you scowled as you looked around the room.
There was one broken coffee table, multiple broken lamps, a shattered fish tank, a couple of broken chairs, a few destroyed pillows, and a broken desk.
You left him alone for two fucking days.
“I honestly don’t know. There was some fucking movie on...’Tombstone’, I think? I don’t know, it was on when I got here, anyway, there was some fucking scene with Doc Holliday in the hospital and his girl wasn’t there with him and Tim said “that goes to show that none of these bitches stick around when it gets tough.” Lloyd just lost it.”
“Fuck, I’ll take care of this-”
“Y/N, he’s not in a good mindset at all. Leave him alone.”
“I can handle him, Denny. You just make sure no one presses charges,” you told him softly before you made your way into the game room.
You took a deep breath before you closed the door behind you.
“What the fuck do you want?!” Lloyd slurred once his attention was on you, “don’t you have to go and study or some shit?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! It’s 2pm on a fucking Sunday!”
“I haven’t heard from you in two fucking days!”
“No, you haven’t seen me in two fucking days! Lloyd-”
“You’re gonna leave and I don’t need to deal with that shit, so, fuck you!”
“Lloyd, I swear to Christ-”
“You have no fucking reason to stay! Why? Because I killed some piece of shit for you?!”
“Lower your fucking voice, you idiot!” you snapped in a hushed tone as you made your way deeper into the room.
“What fucking reason do you have-”
“I just fucking told you I love you!”
“Two days ago and then you fucking disappeared on me-”
“I didn’t fucking disappear! I’m not you! I can’t just do whatever the hell I want because I’m on my parent’s money! I have to keep my grades up and study! I can’t be with you every fucking five seconds, because you need to be fucking babied!”
“You’re so full of shit!”
“Lloyd, I swear to God-”
“There’s something wrong with me, Hummingbird! What fucking reason do you have to stay with me?! What’s keeping you here?!”
“You,” you answered simply.
“Y/N-”
“Lloyd, I didn’t tell you I love you because you said it first. I said it because I meant it and I still do now. You don’t think I see the issues and the flaws? Of course I do. I saw them that night, but I still came back, didn’t I? I love you. For as flawed and fucked up as this all is, I still love you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Doc Holliday’s wife-”
“It’s a fucking movie, Lloyd.”
“Based on real life!”
“Yeah, but you’re not Doc Holliday and I’m not Kate. I love you.”
“You’re gonna fucking leave.”
“Do you plan on fucking cheating on me?”
“You know that you’re the only for me.”
“Then we’ll be fine, because I feel the same about you. I love you and I’m in this. Yeah, you’re fucked up, but...I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. No one is perfect and this life isn’t some cookie cutter bullshit. I just know that how we feel about each other is real and it’s too fucking late for me to walk away because you’re unhinged.”
“Hummingbird-”
“I’m all in, Huckleberry, are you?”
“You’re just gonna push me to the side when all of this becomes too much for you.”
“That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me,” you smiled softly at him.
In no time at all, Lloyd picked up and placed you on the pool table, and kissed you passionately.
“Not here,” you giggled as he kissed down your jawline, “someone could walk in!”
“Then they’re welcome for giving them the best porno they’ll ever see,” he growled against your neck before biting down on it.
How did that whole situation feel like a lifetime ago?
“Why the hell did we invite both of our families over?” Lloyd whines as he makes his way into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you put the last layer of lasagna together.
“Because this is officially our new home, Travis has been doing really good with his homeschooling, you two have been getting along really well, we’ve been getting along really well, the wedding is back on track...I don’t know, it just felt like the thing to do,” you shrug, a smirk tugging at your lips.
“What are you not telling me, Hummingbird?”
“Now, why would you think I’m not telling you something?”
“Because I know that look and you’re keeping a secret.”
“How dare you say such a thing?”
“Hummingbird,” he growls into your neck as he grips your hips tight, “remember what happened the last time you tried to keep it a secret from me?”
“Daddy, you need to behave,” you moan, trying to ignore the arousal pooling between your legs.
“You ended up pregnant with Travis.”
“Both of our families are here, so you need to be on your best-”
“Dad,” Travis calls, clearly annoyed as he enters the kitchen.
“What,” Lloyd groans as buries his face into the crook of your neck and you start cracking up.
“Please come out here and break up this argument.”
“What the fuck-”
“Lloyd!” you snap.
“What the hell is going on out there?”
“Gran and Nana are about to kill each other.”
“Which means my Mother is about to kill your Mother,” you mumble and Lloyd scowls.
“How is it, that both of our Fathers are here, and I still have to deal with this shit?”
“This is our present for not calling off the wedding. Go handle it.”
“Yeah fine, but we’re not done talking about this,” he warns before slapping your ass, letting go of you, and making himself a drink. “You,” he shoots towards Travis, “what did you try and do to resolve the issue?”
“I asked which one of them wanted to take me to that amusement park in Paris you told me about,” Travis shrugs and you almost fell over laughing.
He’s a Hansen indeed.
“Jesus Christ, you’re coming with me to resolve this shit.”
“OH MY GOD, LLOYD!”
“He’ll be fine,” Lloyd smirks, as Travis chuckles before he walks off. “You know, this could’ve just been you, me, Travis, and Denny.”
“GO!” you scold with a laugh.
You’re quick to flip Lloyd off and laughs before walking out after Travis, and shake your head as a soft smile plays on your lips, and you resume finishing up the lasagna.
“Hummingbird,” Lloyd calls softly as he pokes his head back into the kitchen.
“Yes, Huckleberry?” you answer absentmindedly, as you open the oven.
“I love you.” Your eyes well up as you look up and meet his gaze, heart bursting at the innocent smile on his face, “I love you.”
He gives you a small wink, before going back and dealing with the chaos that is the both of your families.  
Once the lasagna is in the oven, you lean back against the counter and think about that night in his frat house. The night where he was convinced that you would leave him, because there was no reason to stay, and a small smile came to your face. No, not because of how much he claimed to have needed you (in a way), but because of how far you two had come. Yeah, it’s been ugly and bumpy at times, but you two made your way back to each other.
A few weeks after you two got back, he tried to convince you that the two of you didn’t need therapy anymore, because the trip had gone so well. However, the look in your eyes let him know that he wasn’t get anywhere near close to winning that argument.
He’s gotten better at spending time with Travis, he does his best to not come home from work in a bad mood because he’s still doing paperwork (however, it’s still being worked on), he’s hands on with Travis and his school work, and he’s even started volunteering to be the coach of Travis’ football team.
You two have finally become the couple you always dreamt you’d be. You two are meant to be...for the most part.
“Someone seems pretty fucking proud of herself,” Denny chuckles as he makes his way into the kitchen, and you roll your eyes. “I just want you to know that I officially think you’re crazier than Lloyd, why the fuck would you have both you families here at the same time?”
“It just felt like it was time,” you mumble, “thanks for the house, by the way.”
“No problem. What did you feel like it was time for?”
“Denny-”
“I’m really proud of you two. Mainly, I’m proud of you for making that stubborn jackass see that it’s okay to have a soft side.”
“He’ll kill you if he ever finds out you said that. You know that right?”
“After all the shit I’ve saved his ass from, he’ll be fine. How are you managing both your families here with no wine or cigarettes?”
“Close your eyes and hold your breath long enough, it all just sounds like background noise.”
“It’s just funny to me, because the last time you did something like this-”
“MOTHER, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” Lloyd roars, and you can already tell this is about to get ugly.
“Oh, what the fuck is it now?” you whine as you and Denny make your way outside.
The scene in front of you makes your blood boil in almost an instant. The hors d’oeuvres you made are all over the table and the ground, there are broken wine glasses, Travis is sulking at the end of the table, Lloyd is covered in wine, and they’re two broken plates on the ground.
“What the fuck is going on?!” you scream, thankful that Denny is there to hold you back from lunging at...anyone, honestly.
“Y/N, watch your mouth in front of-”
“No!” you instantly snap at your Mother, as Lloyd quickly makes his way to your side, “you all are ruining my family’s home and I want answers! What the hell is the matter with all of you?! And why didn’t you two do anything to stop it?!” you snap at both and Lloyd’s Fathers.
“She started it!” Stef, Lloyd’s Mother yells, causing your Mother to throw a fork at her in response.
“MOM!”
“Travis wanted to come and see me while you two were away, and she wouldn’t allow it!”
“You don’t let him have any fun!”
“There’s no structure in your household! Look at how your son turned out!”
“I’m sorry, doesn’t your daughter live off of my son?!”
“Sure, that’s why your son defended me instead of his own Mother!”
“Oh my GOD! THE BOTH OF YOU NEED TO SHUT UP!” you yell, contemplating throwing something at the both of them. “Travis, are you okay?”
“Just another lovely family gathering,” he mutters with a shrug, and it breaks your heart.
“Listen, I am only going to say this once, so everyone listen closely. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with everyone and, at this point, I frankly don’t give a damn. Lloyd and I have been together long enough that, whatever petty bullshit you all have against each other should be over and dealt with by now!”
“You knew what you were signing up for when we all first met for the first time,” Lloyd’s father, Robert, laughs as he picks up his scotch and takes a sip of it.
You don’t even think about it, you just take off one of your flip-flops and throw it a him, hitting him directly in the head as Lloyd tries to stifle his laughter.
“Now,” you continue as you glare at Robert, “whatever issues Lloyd and I had in the past are our issues. Whatever issues we may or may not have in the future will be ours to deal with. All of this petty arguing ends now! I put a nice fucking dinner together to announce to all of you that I’m two months pregnant, and this is how you all act?!”
“I knew you were pregnant!” Denny exclaims and you glare at him. “What? I did. That’s the only reason you would be around all of these people with a drink or cigarettes,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes.
“Anyway,” you begin again, “YOU’RE ALL FUCKING ADULTS! GROW UP AND ACT LIKE IT!” you snip and you hear a small gasp leave Lloyd lips. “I let you all act like this when Travis was born and raised him around this, but I’m not making that mistake again! Get your shit together or forget about coming to the wedding, and forget about being apart of Travis’ and this unborn child’s life! I’m so sick and tired of having to referee grown ass people! Now, clean all of this shit up!” you snap before getting out of Lloyd’s hold and turning around and making your way back inside. “You come into our house, throw around food I took forever to make, and break our shit?! ACT LIKE YOU’VE GOT SOME DAMN SENSE!” you scream as you make your way upstairs, limping slightly since you’re only wearing one shoe.
No, you probably shouldn’t have yelled at a room of adults, but you’ve had enough. You and Lloyd have been through the lowest levels of hell and back, and are finally in a good place, and for whatever reason they can’t seem to figure their shit out.
You sit down and lay back on the bed, pulling Lloyd’s pillow close and taking in his scent, before letting out a loud sigh.
You can’t say that you’re all that surprised.
“I’m sorry, your Mom said what to Mrs. Hansen?!” Tina exclaimed as she plopped down next to you on your dorm room bed.
“Tina-”
“I’m sorry, but this is the most chaotic meeting of parents I’ve ever heard! What the fuck?!”
“God, it went so bad so fast.”
“Okay wait, start from the beginning.”
“Alright, I told my parents a week ago that Lloyd and I started dating, and my Mom was immediately pissed, because she remembered him and his family from High School, and hated them. So, she was already unwilling to give them a chance, but my Dad talked her into it. Somehow, the fact that Lloyd and his family said that it was their treat made it worse and-”
“Why didn’t you tell him no?! You know how prideful your Mother is!”
“I did, but he insisted! He really wanted to do it, because he really wanted to make a good impression on them, and he was set on it, so I didn’t really have much of a choice. Anyway, after a lot of back and forth, everyone finally agreed to give him a fair chance. So, as per their choice, we all met up at that place Toscano-”
“Harvard Square?! I’ve always wanted to go there!”
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“Yeah well, it only seemed to make things worse, because the moment my Mother saw the place she rolled her eyes and scowled.”
“Ah shit.”
“Exactly. Now, in Lloyd’s defense, he really did try to make up for his parents...rudeness,” you muttered as you rolled your eyes. “He just wanted to show my parents that I’m with someone who can take care of me. Anyway, the more Lloyd’s Mother drank, the more disrespectful she became. The more my Mom, the more fed up she got. Then, Lloyd’s Mom said something about how my Mom should’ve gone shopping with her for better shoes to go with her outfit, and it just...it went so bad so fast. Things were said, food was thrown, drinks were tossed, glasses got broken, and eventually the cops showed up.”
“Oh my God,” Tina gasped as she covered her mouth.
“That’s when my Mom called Lloyd’s Mom a low-class vapid baby making machine, who’s gonna end up used up and alone.”
“Holy shit!”
“God, it was so embarrassing. Lloyd paid for all the food, including what didn’t get brought out of the kitchen, and over tipped literally everyone who was working there, while his Father paid for all the damages and told him he’d pay for any upgrades they’d ever wanna make to the place. It’s amazing that we weren’t banned from the place, but I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to go back in there.”
“Jesus. What did Lloyd say?”
“Well, he screamed at both of his parents, I couldn’t even look at mine, and then he just apologized the entire time he drove us back to campus. He’s convinced I’m gonna break up with him, but I don’t know why the hell he’d wanna stay with me.”
“Well, why do you wanna stay with him? If his parents are this terrible, and he’s so terrible-”
“He’s not his parents, Tina. I don’t know, once he puts his ego aside, he’s really not that bad.”
“Babe-”
“Tina, look who you’re talking to. I know how terrible he is. How terrible he can be, but I love him. I know it’s probably not in my best interest, and there’s no way for me to try and explain it, but I’m in love with him and he’s in love with me. Maybe it’ll all fizzle out and maybe it’ll last forever, but for now, we’re determined to be together and make it work.”
“And your families?”
“We’ll figure it out along the way,” you shrugged.
You wipe your eyes at the memory, missing how simple all of it you used to be. Sometimes, you really miss Tina.
“I can hear those wheels turning a mile away,” Lloyd chuckles as he stands in the doorway. “You okay?”
“How’s your Dad?” you ask, closing your eyes and rubbing your temples.
“He’s fine. Shocked, but he’s fine. I think my parents are rightfully afraid of you.”
“It’s about fucking time,” you scoff as Lloyd takes a seat beside you on your side of the bed.
“How are you and our child?” he asks with a smirk.
“Hungry and grumpy,” you pout as you sit up. “I’m sorry, I just wanted us to have something nice. Everything’s been going so well, therapy finally feels like it’s getting us on path to a better future, the wedding is coming along great...I just wanted us to have a nice moment as a family, because it’s been so long since we’ve all been together for a good reason. Even when we had our first big dinner after Travis completed therapy, that was a shit show too. I just...I wanted something nice for a change. I made everyone’s favorite snacks, the lasagna that you and Travis love, I got everyone’s favorite drinks...just for them to shit on it like they always do. I’m sorry. Thanks for defending my Mom by the way.”
“It’s fine, and your Mom was right. My Mother was being a bitch, I’m done letting her disrespect your Mother like that. Besides, it’s honestly been long overdue for you to throw something at my Dad,” he smirks and you let out a small laugh. “I do have a surprise for you, though.”
“You kicked everyone out?”
“I’m afraid it’s not that great but,” he smiles, “I think it’s a pretty great second place. I’m going to train the new hires of the private sector.’ “...what?”
“I won’t be doing paperwork that drives me insane every fucking day, I’ll be home at a time that’ll make you happy daily, no more missions or trips, and I won’t be so damn irritable all the fucking time. Yeah, I’ll be teaching these shitheads torture on actual prisoners, but there will be no blow back. I come in, I train, I come home.”
“Lloyd, please don’t fuck with me,” you beg as your eyes start to water.
“Hummingbird, I told you that I’m gonna make changes, and I meant it. I want to give you and Travis the world, and I know that a huge part of that has to do with this damn job. No, I’m not leaving it all together, but I’m keeping all of us out of harms way.”
“Lloyd...”
“I love you, Y/N, and I’m not losing you again. I’m done being difficult, I’m done causing arguments over things that are obviously my fault, I’ll get better with controlling my temper around Travis-”
“And your language.”
“Hummingbird, it’s one or the other, I’m not perfect,” he tells knowingly and you roll your eyes. “The point is, I was serious about being and doing better for Travis. We’re going to be the family you’ve always wanted and I’m gonna do my best to keep being the man you’ve always been able to rely on. I love you,” he smiles at you.
You practically knock him over with the hug you give him, and he chuckles into the crook of your neck as he hugs you back.
“Relax you, you’re carrying my child,” he teases as you two break apart, and you flip him off before drying your eyes. “Do you know what it’s gonna be?”
“Uh huh,” you smile excitedly as you nod your head.
“Seriously? We’re having a girl?!”
“One of each, just like you’ve always wanted,” you laugh.
This time, he almost knocks you over.
“Please stop,” Travis groans as he makes his way into the bedroom, and both you and Lloyd as you break apart and look at him. “I’m gonna have a little sister?” he asks, small smile tugging at his lips as he gets on the bed from Lloyd’s side.
“That’s right, so get ready to defend her against all these little assholes running around,” Lloyd smirks and Travis laughs.
“Lloyd, at least when I’m around, please,” you whine.
“Are you sure you two are gonna be together forever this time? Cause they’re all downstairs agreeing that this isn’t gonna work, and Uncle Denny is drinking and watching sports highlights,” he sighs while laying his head on your shoulder.
“Of course those assholes want us to fall apart...again,” you scowl.
“Now who needs to watch her mouth,” Lloyd quips with a smug smirk, and you stick your tongue out at him.
“Guys,” Travis groans.
“I’m positive we’re gonna stay together, Trav,” Lloyd smiles at him reassuringly.
“How are you so sure?”
“Because,” he shrugs as his gaze falls on you, “a Huckleberry is nothing without his Hummingbird.
~~
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artdivadej · 1 year
Text
Survivor's Remorse (II)
Part Two
18+ | NSFW | PTSD
Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9
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How could I?
Peeta didn’t look scared but that didn’t make this ok. He’s a guy, of course his body would react on instinct. I had no right. I immediately bolt from the bed before he can grab me with those powerful hands of his. Always trying to hold me together and I’d violated him.
“I’m so sorry”, I gasped fighting my tears of disgust.
“Sweetness, you did nothing wrong”, he called in that honey sweet baritone.
I must have looked as feral as I did when I was coming off of the trackerjacker venom during my post-torture rescue. He only ever used that tone with me when I was about to lose my shit.
“I just assaulted you Peeta!”
“No. You were sleeping you-”
“Exactly! Just like what Marvel did to me! You were unconscious!”
“It’s not the same”, he tried softly. “You know how I feel about you. Marvel had no right to touch you!”
I forgot how wild the mention of Marvel made Peeta. I’d never watched our games, no intentions on seeing myself suffer in HD when it never left my nightmares. Marvel was the only tribute that Peeta had killed but I’d been unconscious when it happened. I’d woken up 3 days later latched onto Peeta like a tick, refusing to let go. No panties or shirt under my jacket and jeans but very sore. Marvel was nowhere in sight but, there was blood on the left wall of the cave. Peeta told me he’d gotten to me in time but with the soreness I had? It was clearly to keep what little sanity I’d had left intact. I allowed them to think I’d believed the lie.
It took what little good I had left in me. Forever taking what little hope I had to be with Peeta away.
“I was unconscious. So were you. Unconscious people can’t say no”, I snarled taking another step backwards.
“It’s not the same. I invited you into my bed. I lov-”
“Stop it!” I screeched bolting from the room.
I can hear Peeta scrambling to get together to come behind me but I’ve always been faster. And I cared little for pants anyway. I darted out the window and took off to the forest. It’d grown much lusher since the districts can come and go between each other. It was warm out even with night still reigning. I needed to hurt something so I didn’t hurt myself. Going to my hollowed-out trunk I bypassed the bow today, needing more personal methods of killing tonight.
I stayed out until the sky began to turn Peeta’s favorite colors. Taking that as my sign to head back with my haul. I left half of my kill in the ice cooler in the now updated shed out here that the hunters have asked my permission to utilize. They can carry the heavy buck back to town themselves. I’d skinned it. They can do the rest.
After taking a bath in the pond I finally trekked back to the Victors Village, peeking around the homes to make sure Peeta wasn’t in sight. When the coast was clear I slid into the side window of Haymitch’s living room and started a fire, depositing my kill in the sink. He was fast asleep in one of the armchairs in front of the fire with a cup beside him. I fumbled through the middle cabinet in the back compartment for my secret stash. Found em! I grabbed three of the bottles of the clear liquid and plopped down on the loveseat in front of the fire.
“Want some pants there sweetheart?”, he chuckles with a stretch that makes his bones pop loudly.
“No. But I’ll take a blanket”
He removed the black fuzzy blanket from the chair that Peeta usually sits in and draped it over my legs since I was sitting Indian-style on the couch staring into the flames. The smell of his cinnamon wafted into my nostrils hitting me with another wave of guilt.
“You know he was here looking for you last night, right?”
“I’m sure”, I grimace swallowing 1/3 of the first bottle in one swig.
I understood why Haymitch used to drown himself daily to numb the memories. I quite liked the burn of alcohol myself and the dreamy state that I felt when it hit.
“A bit early for you, isn’t it?”
“You’re one to talk”, I snort
“Exactly. I said early for you”
He took the second bottle from my lap and poured half into his teacup. I shoot him a halfhearted smirk. Haymitch was my mentor but he became more of a father to me than I’d ever known. I liked that he was flawed. It made me feel like I wasn’t alone in this. He didn’t judge me. Haymitch just was blunt. Not everyone liked that. I did. We’d grown close in our last 5 years together knowing he wasn’t one to lie to me....normally. We sat in comfortable silence for a little while before it came tumbling out.
“I molested Peeta”, I breath shakily as I take another gulp.
Haymitch choked on his hot toddy and slammed the cup down. He was on the couch beside me forcing me to look at him faster than I could register with his powerful grip. Sometimes I forget just how agile he can be.
“That is not what you did! Don’t fucking say that again!”
“It’s what it feels like! I was never supposed to taint him!”
“Grow up! You’re both adults now. You know good and God damn well if Peeta invited you to sleep in that bed with him, he’s more than willing to take whatever you give him. He wouldn’t have allowed you to sleep beside him anymore once you turned 18 if you both hadn’t known what could come from your little arrangement!”
“Not like that Pops”, I cried wiping my eyes in frustration. “I almost did to him what Marvel did to me. It’s why I can’t with Peeta. He deserves so much better”
“Is that what you really think happened?”
I’d never seen Haymitch’s crystal blue eyes so downhearted. To finally understand that I never once believed any of them when they told me that lie to keep me sane.
That I know they’d all lied to me.
“If you refuse to watch the game, I think you owe it to Peeta to ask him about what happened that night”
“I did”
He knew this entire topic left me feeling as raw as if the gamemakers rubbed me through a grater.
“No, you didn’t. In the games all you did was ask what happened to Marvel. You never talked about it when he told you he got to you in time. You just assumed he meant saving your life”
“Drop it”
“No. Talk to him about it. It didn’t happen”
“Your pussy didn’t hurt for a week!”, I shout into his stupefied face pushing him away from me and stomping to the kitchen to grab another bottle now that mine were empty.
Haymitch is on me in seconds.
“Look, we can drink ourselves blue, but go sit. Get warm. I’ve got this. We’re going to talk about this. Now”
I resign myself to listen, my body already wracked with physical exhaustion. I didn’t want to deal with the emotional draining this topic required. I curl back up under the soft covers, staring into the flames, wishing they’d swallow me whole. The one person I swore to protect, I’d violated. Yet he’d come here looking for me worried about my mental health. Haymitch has made me a hot toddy and it warms my whole body with each sip.
“You were right you know”
“I always am” he huffed indignantly
“I could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him”
“I was being bitter when I said that”
“Still true”
“Never was. You underestimate him as a man and that’s your problem. I know you’re healing; you’re growing. We all are. But you need to accept that he is a man now. Peeta is fully aware of the consequences to all of the choices you two make. Respect him by accepting that”
“I know full well what an amazing person Peeta is”
“Clearly. I said as a man. If you’re dry humping him in your dreams, might as well accept that you love him too. No point in fighting it sweetheart. Truth be told, I thought this happened years ago”
“Haymitch!”
Either the liquor was kicking in or he just was feeling unusually open today. We never really discussed my private life with Peeta sleeping at my place or me at his. I did feel quite loose but I didn’t feel safe. I eyed the chair warily but decided I would need his scent to sleep comfortably. I dragged the comforter up with me and curled into the plush armchair Peeta always sat in, burying my nose in the arm cushion. It smelled just like him. Bread, butter, whiskey and honeysuckle.
“You love him and it’s time to accept it. Even if you were just friends, you don’t think you owe him a conversation about what happened? No matter how in denial you are about what happened in your games”
“I’m scared”, I admit with a tremble as my body sags further into the chair.
I’d only slept for 2 hours at Peeta’s and I was exhausted, the liquor snatching the rest of my energy that his comforting scent hadn’t. I’d been comfortable pretending to believe the lie without ever having to discuss it.
“You’ll get over it” Haymitch snorts tucking the blanket in tighter around me
I feel a kiss to my forehead before I’m out.
***
Haymitch slipped some morphling in your drink. It was easy to get you to listen when he slipped you some after coming down from a manic episode as your sanity lapsed sometimes. It still happened to him sometimes too. It bothered him that you’d felt this way for 5 years but, hopefully you and Peeta would work that out.
Speaking of which.
Haymitch made his way 5 houses down, not bothering to knock as he strolled into Peeta’s kitchen. He’d been up all night worried about you. It was clear because there was fresh baked bread, rolls and bagels all over the counters. Haymitch pocketed 2 rolls clearly made from District 4’s tropical ingredients. Finnick must have sent some over. He grabbed a loaf of raisin bread that had to have come out recently because it was steaming. Peeta looked up from the sink hearing Haymitch crunch on a bear-claw behind him noisily. He quickly dropped the pan he’d been holding and darted over, his wide brown eyes full of worry.
“Is she ok?”
“You are free to come and pick up your delightful cinnamon roll at your leisure. She’s passed out in your chair. Again”
“Did...did you slip her morphling?”
“Didn’t have much choice after the nonsense she was talking”
“What do you mean?”
Peeta removed his apron and slipped on a hoodie, following Haymitch down the front stairs. Haymitch stopped and let out a sigh that seemed like it weighed his entire spirit down.
“She thinks she molested you. And that Marvel raped her”
Now it was Peeta’s turn to recoil.
“What?”
“Exactly”
It would take at least 6 hours for the morphling to wear off but Peeta was nothing if he wasn’t patient. He waited 11 years just to be noticed by you. He could wait a few more hours to clear this up and truly make you his. He made his way into Haymitch’s living room to see you passed out on his lounge. Nuzzling your nose deep into the cushions to feel as if you were surrounded by his natural smell. This brought Peeta some comfort. You still only wore one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxershorts, but it was clear you’d been out hunting. There were still some leaves in your long, dark curls. There were still some leaves in your long, dark curls. He plucked them out and ran his fingers through them tenderly.
“Sorry about this”
“Don’t be. Just...work this out. Today”
“I will”
Peeta scooped you into his arms with ease, blanket and all, carrying you to his home and lying you down back in the bed. He had at least an hour before you began to fight at the morphling, realizing you were alone.
He had to find that tape.
Then he'd have to wake up an old ally. Hopefully he'd have time for him right now.
It took about 20 minutes of fumbling through the large box from when Effie had sent the previous victor tapes over for the Quarter Quell but he finally found it. It took another 20 minutes to split the particularly unpleasant angles out, Peeta grit his teeth angrily trying to keep his head together as his rage threatened to consume him. Beetee helped him through it, talking deeply and gently through their breathing and processing techniques. Once he had the tape together he took it into the bedroom and lay it on the nightstand. Watching you sleep for a little bit, wanting to climb in beside you so bad.
A few hours of indulgence couldn't hurt.
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luvneymar · 1 year
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(2/2) FOREVER AND ALWAYS — NEYMAR JR
SUMMARY: You and your best friend have been in-love with each other since forever, one day you both get drunk and you end up pregnant
PARING: teen!neymar x teen!reader
NOTE: I changed the ages so Davi could be younger & this was posted pretty late so if there’s any spelling errors or anything pls lemme know! 🫶
“You’re almost there baby-girl! Keep pushing.” Your mother sent words of encouragement as you squeezed the life out of her’s & Neymar’s hands, you were pushing out a baby with a head the size of the moon.
“I can’t! He can just stay in my uterus! It’s safer & it’s better for everyone!” You shook your head side to side curling your toes as you were in so much pain & discomfort you were sure you’d explode.
“Also I’m pretty sure I pooped on the midwife’s hand, so sorry.” You shouted out really fast before returning to screaming in pain & squeezing your boyfriend’s hand as hard as you could.
“It’s okay baby, you can do this. I believe in you!” Neymar sent encouraging words your way which just annoyed him, you didn’t have a huge head when you were a baby so this definitely had to be the genetics of none other than Neymar.
“You shut up! Just shut up! Who asked you to develop such a huge head? Now my vagina is going to rip into one huge whole because of you!” As you cursed him out you hadn’t even notice you had been slightly pushing the whole time which finally remove your large headed baby from your vagina.
You suddenly didn’t feel as much pain as you felt a few seconds ago which confused you until you felt pressure on your chest as you heard a crying baby lay on your chest. “Baby you did it.” Neymar whispered as he wiped the excess sweat off your forehead as you cradled your crying son.
“He’s so beautiful.” You cried out as you took in the fact that not only you survived the attack on your vagina but you were now a mother; to a huge headed baby. Neymar kissed you on the cheek as you both obsessed over your newborn son. “Alright mama, we’ve gotta clean him up. You did great.”
As your OB took your son out of the room to do whatever medical stuff they needed to do for him Neymar wrapped his hands around you pulling you in for a hug as you cried taking in what just happened.
That was 4 years ago, within those 4 years you became a well respected actress while Neymar continued to chase after his football career & had become a hotshot football player. You both had your ups & downs but you both had made it work.
You had just finished shooting the film “Avengers; Infinity War” & were preparing to attend the premiere, or at-least trying too. Davi kept throwing a tantrum about how he didn’t want to wear this, he was hungry, he was tired all the typical 4 year old problems.
Fortunately the help of your husband who your son practically worshipped you all managed to get dressed without too much of a hitch. “Davi baby are you ready to go?”
“Yes!” Your son smiled up at you as he offered you a soggy warm cracker he had been holding in his palm for the past few minutes. You took the cracker & tucked it into your purse before picking up your son. “Let’s go baby, your daddy is waiting in the car.”
Once you both arrived to where the car was parked & settled in the driver at the front had begun to drive you leaned into your husband giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“Don’t thank me baby, I always want to celebrate your success.” Neymar replied as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder pulling you in as he kissed your forehead, you smiled at his action as you leaned into his chest.
You closed your eyes as you listening to his heartbeat not aware that you fallen asleep in that exact position until your soon who was sitting beside you had nudged you in your side. “Mommy we’re here.” He whispered in your ear .
“Thank you for waking me up baby.” As you got up you wiped the crumbs that were decorated all across your sons face as well as checking your face for any smudges or marks. “Ney baby we’re ready.”
“Alright.” He answered as he opened the door revealing multiple cameras flashes & screaming people, you picked up your son from his armpit and mad your way out of the car shielding his eyes from the blinding lights.
As you all made your way down the red carpet and onto the photo booth area you were met with multiple reporters waiting to interview different actors & actresses about any topic they could conjure up.
As Neymar was pulled away by other reporters you made your way to the entrance of the building barely making it before being pulled away by a reporter with exceptionally bright teeth. “Hi there (Name)! I can see here you brought your son to the premiere!”
“Yes I did. He’s super excited to be here. He wants to meet Thor.” You answered smiling at your son who was completely oblivious to what was going on as he stared into the camera that was recording his mother.
“Thor?” The moment you mentioned Thor he begun to look around trying to find his favourite superhero thinking he was around him.
“Yes Thor honey.” You smiled at him pulling at his soft cheek as he continued to snack on his crackers getting crumbs on your dress, not that you minded of course.
“Such a cute child, (Name) you played the role of the Scarlet Witch correct?” The reporter smiled at Davi before turning to face you something weird hiding behind her smile.
“Yes I did. Is there a question in there?” You asked not paying any attention to the reporter as you son begun to fuss feeling overwhelmed by all the noises. “Yes, how did the casting for the role go?”
“Actually I didn’t go through a casting process, I was personally asked to play the role.” You answered turning to smile at the reporter quickly before turning back to your son feeding him more snacks to keep him calm.
“Really? So in your opinion—” Just as the reporter was going to say something Neymar had come out of nowhere interrupting them.
“My love, there you are.” Neymar kissed yours & Davi’s cheek as he wrapped his hand around your waist other hand used to wipe crumbs from his sons face.
“Neymar! Would you like to—!” The reporters face perks up seeing Neymar enter your interview. “I am so sorry but we have to get going, the premier is about to start & my son is getting cranky.”
“But I still—”
“Thank you so much for your time.” You thanked the reporter before walking away silently thanking God for Neymar’s timing, it wasn’t a secret that multiple people assumed you only had your success because your husband was a famous footballer.
You never felt the need to correct them simply because you have proven yourself side the beginning of your career & you still continue to by snagging large roles in movies like these ones.
“Thank you I knew she was going to ask the most foolish question on earth.” You kissed your husband on his cheek as you let your son down letting him walk his own. Neymar laughed at your statement before shuffling his son towards his seat in the dark building.
As you all say in your seats waiting for the movie to begin your co-worker; Christ Hemsworth shuffled past you trying to get to his seat which was right beside you. “Hey Chris!” You whisper shouted using Davi’s hand to wave.
“(Name)! Hey! You brought your family!” He whispered back as he exchanged in a manly fist bump with Neymar who sat right beside you, as you both exchanged pleasantries you were interrupted by your son who sat in your lap staring at your co-worker in awe.
“Are you Thor? The superhero?” He asked staring up at him with his big brown eyes as he gripped Chris’s suit jacket getting some crumbs on it. “Why yes I am little man!”
“Really?” Davi squealed out smiling brightly excited to meet his favourite superhero, you laughed at his reaction knowing all the times you had to rematch marvel movies because he wanted to see Thor.
“Really!” Chris replied, as soon as he did Davi begun to fuss trying to leave your lap wanting to spend time with his favourite superhero instead, you complied knowing it would allow you to spend more time with your husband who was snacking on his peanuts.
“Are you okay with this?” You asked him not sure if he felt used or as if you were dumping your child into him for a free night out. “Are you kidding? Me & him are gonna have a blast. Don’t worry about him.”
“Thanks Chris, I owe you one.” Hearing that reassured you as you heard your sons voice fade into the background you turned to your husband. “As for you mister.”
“Finally some attention from my wife, seems like everyone needs her attention.” He peeled his eyes from the screen and onto you placing his peanuts into your purse. “Not anymore, we are all alone.”
Hearing that was like music to his ears, you both loved your son but ever since he was born your guys hadn’t been as intimate as you could’ve been if you had waited to have him.
“Isn’t Davi beside you?” Neymar leaned over checking the seat beside you. “Nope, Chris took him down a row or two to be closer to the screen.” You explained as you pulled your husband in for a quick kiss.
“So do you wanna find a bathroom?” He asked preparing to get up as he loosened his tie looking around to see if anyone or cameras were on them. “No! We’re watching the movie!”
You slapped his shoulder laughing quietly as you realized that the movie had just begun, you both turned to face the screen as you intertwine fingers holding hands.
Once the lights turned on the movie had needed you stood up almost stumbling over as your leg had fell asleep, Neymar had shot up to catch you stopping you from falling onto the person in-front of you. “Careful.”
“Thanks baby.” You pulled him in holding his cheek as you kissed both of them before going to find your son Neymar not that far behind you. Once you arrived to Chris’s row you had noticed that he had fell asleep in his arms.
“When he fell asleep you should’ve brought him back to me, thank you so much Chris.” Neymar bent down to pick up Davi from Chris’s arms who stood up to stretch the moment his child duty as relived.“My pleasure, you guys have such a funny kid. Stay safe guys.”
Once Chris begun walking away you shook your son awake slightly as you walked right behind him going to the same exit. “You wanna say bye to Thor sweetie?”
“Bye bye!” Davi yelled out waving his hand back and forth at Chris as he turned around and waved goodbye smiling before pushing the exit door open holding it open for Neymar to take, as Neymar held the door open you conversed with your son. “Did you enjoy the movie?”
“Yes! Mommy can we watch it again at home?”
“Oh boy.” You sighed chuckling at what was about to go down once again.“It hasn’t come out on TV yet baby.” You replied shortly hoping it’d end his constant train of questioning.
“Aww…”
“But Mommy can act it out for us! Did you see Mommy on the screen?” Neymar interrupted igniting the fire of Davi’s obsession with Marvel, you wanted to twist his lips off knowing every time you watched the marble series as a family he’d fall asleep.
“Yeah, Mommy can you act it out for us?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” You said while laughing as you took Davi from Neymar to place him in his car seat, once he was secure in his seat you sat beside him with Neymar going to sit on the other side of the car.
Once you all were settled & the driver had begun to drive Davi was out like a light soon after leaving you and Neymar in comfortable silence.
“Did you like the movie?” You asked breaking the silence as you turned to him reaching your hand out for him to take, he took your hand & caressed you knuckles with his thumb.
“Of course I did, I’m so proud of you my love. You’ve come so far.” Neymar kissed the back of your hand as he rambled on about how proud of you he was, your heart melted at his praises as you smiled brightly unable to mask your happiness.
“Well I couldn’t have done it without you, thank you for always supporting me.” Neymar smiled back at you small blush on his face, he turned to face the window not letting go of your hand before continuing, “I love you.”
“I’m not on rewatching duty though, you have to do that.” You reminded turning to look out the window small smirk on your face that didn’t go unnoticed. “Whatever.” He replied letting go of your hand to grab your face kissing you all over before finishing with a quick kiss to your lips.
“I love you too, I guess.” You grumbled happily before pulling him by his chin for another quick kiss.
← prev [ neymarsluv! ]
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ladylooch · 9 months
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I’m not Woody anon, but I already have a request to make 😂
How about a size kink with Miles? This man is super well built and huge 👀 the idea of being dominated by him seems so fun
Size Matters with Miles Wood
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A/N: My Miles Wood babes.. this is for you. I’m so sad he is no longer on the Devils. I am actually very in love with this fic. Like my faces writing this was this: 😊 & 🥵 & 🥰
This man. And the way he throws punches… leaves many thoughts for imagination in a sexual situation. And I’m here to provide some of them. You can’t tell me that the way he chirps on the ice does not lead to dirty talk in the bedroom. I’m gonna stop talking now and just let you read my filth.
Also if Miles Wood said good girl to me that would be the end of my existence. Fuck.
Work Count: 1.8k
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It’s another post-game on edge, awaiting for Miles to come out of the locker room. Tonight, I’m standing with his parents, Randy and Cheryl. Randy is joking around with Jim Hughes about Miles latest tumble with Brady Tkachuck. Everyone thought it was a great, heavy weight fight. I spent the entire time curled up in my seat, hands over my face, shoving my upper body into my thighs in terror. 
I hate when he fights.
But damn is he good at it.
He comes strolling out of the locker room unaffected, one hand holding a bottle of water and the other stuffed into his pants pocket. He greets his mom and dad first, then comes to wrap his arms around me. When I feel his large body against mine, I finally relax. I turn my forehead into his neck. He leans his head into mine in acknowledgment. He knows how awful I feel when he fights.
“You okay?” He whispers. I nod in return, stepping back so he can converse with his parents again. He keeps his big hand around my opposite hip, cuddling me into his side.
We previously agreed to go out for a late night happy hour after the game with his parents close to their hotel. I am antsy the whole time, needing to feel Miles’ hands on me the entire time. His parents are lost in a conversation between themselves for a moment. Miles turns to me, tilting his corners up into a muted smile. I lean forward, pressing our lips together. 
“I love you.” I murmur. “I’m thankful for another day of you getting off the ice healthy.”
“You worry too much.”
“You do this to me. You could not fight.”
“I could, but then who would I be? Not me.” I frown because it’s true. It’s been a part of his chaotic, electric game since he was a teenager. His dad tells stories about his fights from Boston College like he’s toned it down a bit since then, which is hard for me to believe. 
“Can’t have that.” I murmur, running my hands through his curls. I hold his neck in my hand for a moment. 
“So what do you two have planned for the rest of the night?” Cheryl asks.
“Sleep.” Miles chuckles, looking at his watch to see it’s already after 11pm.
“You’re getting soft in your old age.” Randy pokes at his son.
“No, I finally have something worth staying home for.” He kisses my hand, keeping it laced on his strong thigh for the remainder of the night.
When we get back to our apartment, it’s after midnight. Luckily the Devils don’t have practice tomorrow. Miles walks in behind me, tossing his keys the five feet to the kitchen counter and pushing me forward to our bedroom. 
“Babe.” I chuckle, bucking my butt back into his stiff lap.
“My parents took forever to say goodbye.” He groans, reaching down for the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head. My hair cascades back down my back and shoulders, teasing my skin. He unclasps my bra, salivating as my breasts spring free into the air. His hands come up, rolling my nipple against his ruff palms, calloused from fighting. “Just wanted to feel you like this. They like you too much.”
“Yeah because they don’t know what I do to you when they’re not around.” I turn, nipping at his lips, gripping his tie to hold his mouth to mine.
I lap my tongue against him, then slide my fingers down the silk until I reach his belt. He gathers my hair in his strong hand, lips moist from his tongue. His toothless grins shines down at me as I use his cock as lipstick. His thumb comes to my lips, pressing my bottom jaw down so my mouth opens. My tongue comes out, licking along the ridge of his head. I use it as a guide, running it along the bottom of his cock until he fills my mouth. Miles watches, eyes volatile with waves of desire.
“Good girl.” He groans. My eyes close at the praise, inner walls collapsing around nothing.
I take him deeper, sucking my cheeks in around his large girth. He’s long and wide. I’m the luckiest girl in the world, but it always leaves a few moments of pause before we can really go. My mouth adjusts to him in a few more suckles. Miles, usually one to buck into my mouth, leaves the tempo completely to me. My hand settles at the base, giving him a tug up into my mouth. He moans, breathing increasing, hands clasping my hair tighter. I stroke him a few more times just like that, reveling in the sexy noises that fall from his mouth. He works on the buttons of his shirt along with this tie, letting them fall around us. I move off his dick, going down to suck one of his balls into my mouth, then the other.
“Up, baby.” He groans, pulling me off of him by the grip on my hair. A string of saliva follows me back. Miles bites his lip, eyebrows pulling low over his eyes. His fingers work on the closures of my tight jeans, helping me shimmy them down. I step out and he grips my waist, hoisting me up into his chest. “I’m taking you right there.” He says to me before putting his lips on mine.
I moan into his mouth, gripping his brown curls as he slides into my slick entrance. He pauses there, then pushes my hips down and back so I move farther down him.
“Oh.” I whine.
“Fuck.” He breathes out, nail beds white as he grips my ass to prevent going in further. It is so tight. We can both feel how my body resists at first from both the size and the position we are in. He tries to pull me down to him again, this time sliding all the way in. “Baby.” He moans against my mouth. “You’re so wet. Feels so good around my cock.”
“You are absolutely ruining me right now.” I whimper as he begins to move. The first few thrusts of discomfort pass and then it’s all out pleasure. “Holy fuck, babe.” I squirm against his grasp, wanting to help. He walks us over to the living room wall, leaning my back against it so he can rail into me harder. It’s so zealous, just like Miles. I grip onto his wide shoulders for support. He leans forward, bruising my lips with his. His thumbs squeeze into my hip bones, leaving red rashes underneath.
“Great job beautiful. Let’s go deeper.” I nod enthusiastically, then press my hips down into his to meet him thrust for thrust. He holds my weight up like it’s nothing to him, large palms engulfing my ass.
“Fuck, babe. I love your cock.” Miles grits his teeth, thrusting harder into me. 
“Yeah? This the only place you wanna be?”
“God, yes. Please don’t stop. P-please.” My voice begins to quiver as I get closer to coming. 
All thoughts cease and complete feeling takes over. My muscles relax, my head slumps back into the wall and Miles takes me completely. I’m like a doll, limbs bumping up against his back and butt with each thrust. My breathing goes last as tingles begin to spread out from my core. An orgasm unleashes with brisk relief inside of me. “Yes.” I am finally able to whisper into his ear. Miles hears my voice, coated with sexual release and he grunts, coming loudly buried inside of me.
There is no doubt that watching him fight is the worst. But when he fights, he makes it up to me here, just the two of us. He takes that same big, aggressive body and channels it into incredible sex. But what comes after this might actually be as wonderful. 
He pulls away, lips kissing soft presses along my warm skin, allowing my feet to touch the floor again. He works his mouth over all the marks he’s made on me. My throat, my collar bone, my hips. He turns me, lips ghosting along my butt. He then works his mouth up my spine, letting his tongue trail out in spots, eating me up. 
“Do you need a bath or shower?”
“No, I just want you in our bed.”
“Okay. Go. I’ll be there in a second.” He taps my butt lovingly.
I head down the hall, stopping in our bathroom to clean myself up for a moment. I also take out my contacts and scrub the make up off my face. Before I leave the bathroom, I grab the shirt Miles was wearing before he left for the game. It’s comfy and huge, enclosing me in the smell of his cologne and our laundry detergent. In our bedroom, Miles waits for me. He has the TV on, clicking through Netflix for The Great British Baking Show- our latest binge. 
I think of him pounding against Brady earlier tonight, then pounding me after, and what a contrast it is to the softness that is here now. It brings my lips up into a smile. I pad gradually over to the bed where Miles has already pulled the blankets back for me to slide in. He’s dressed himself in boxers again and has a pint of Mint Chip ice cream for us to share.
“Oh babe, they’re making tarts.” He exclaims excitedly. He tosses the remote back onto the nightstand, then settles back into the pillows with the ice cream. “Ready?” He opens his arm for me to snuggle into his chest. I curl into him, knees pressing into his hips as we sit up to eat. Miles scoops out a bite, turning the spoon for me to take. I open my mouth, licking the ice cream off the metal. He watches me, cheeks spreading wide at the way I tease him with my movements. “Fuck, I love you.” He leans forward, kissing my mouth with his plump lips.
“I love you more.”
“Nah.” He immediately disagrees, turning back to the show. I lean forward, taking his firm jaw between my teeth to nibble him. He looks back at me, biting my bottom lip in retaliation.
“Can I keep you forever?”
“Yeah, baby. Don’t look in the back of the closet.” He gives me another spoonful of ice cream, casually. “Something tells me you’ve already seen it though.” I purse my lips together guiltily as I chew. He knows I’m a snoop.
“Just the box. Big box tho.”
“Big ring.”
“Big man.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him. He chuckles.
“Lucky you.”
After tonight, yeah, I’d say so.
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rachetmath · 10 days
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Jaune's Last Man
(Hi sorry this has been my head and I completely forgot about this so let me end this with a kicker. A rap you may say. If you need a recap or you don’t know what this is about....he links here.;
Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/rachetmath/681709097493659648/ilia-blake-i-want-to-come-with-you-blake-ilia?source=share
Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/rachetmath/683991434179805184/can-we-please-get-a-sequel-to-the-post-about-jaune?source=share
Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/rachetmath/688883250974916608/so-i-know-ow-you-said-you-dont-normally-do?source=share)
Jaune: Mercury.
Mercury: Vomit Boy. How’s it hanging?
Jaune: I’m doing fine.
Mercury: Really? I mean since you killed your friend. Your girlfriend dead. And Atlas. I would think you be in a site of depression.
Jaune: Yeah. Except I’m in state of rage.
Mercury; Oh.
Jaune: I mean I haven’t seen my family in years to where I can barely remember their faces. I watched thousands of innocent people die. I was betrayed by someone I wanted to call friend. All because of my stupidity.
Mercury: Wow finally admit it. You don’t know what your doing.
Jaune: Still don’t… but I’ll take my chances.
Mercury: So what are you going to do torture me.
Jaune: Haha no. Of course not. Ladies.
Neo and Ilia walks into the room. Neo before she took a seat on the table, she gives Jaune a kiss on cheeks while Ilia a has weapon to Mercury’s neck. Mercury was still shocked with Neo.
Jaune: Alright. Let us begin. I’m here to make a deal.
Mercury: A deal?
Jaune: You bet. I want you on my team.
Ruby: What?
Jaune: Yes.
Mercury: Why?
Jaune: We need someone like you on our side. Guys like you come in very short supply.
Mercury: That doesn’t give me much of a reason. Why should I give you allegiance?
Jaune: I’m willing to give something that can’t refuse.
Mercury: Please, your not even giving me a right to choose.
Jaune: *sigh* Ilia.
Ilia removes her weapon and sits down.
Jaune: Fine, I’ll play by rules. Look, I understand. Your father he was bad man. But brother he’s dead.
Mercury: I know.
Jaune: I know it was by own hands. I get it wasn’t easy but you fail to get-
Mercury: Is?
Jaune: That you can be better. So much clever. Do really want to stay in his shadow forever?
Mercury: Please. Who are you to judge me? If I recall correctly didn’t you cheat. You went to a school filled with talent. With nothing to show but empty promises and values. You talk a big game but you can’t measure up. Face it bud, your only here because of luck.
Jaune: …. ….
Mercury: Got nothing to say. Guess the fun is over. No more debates. I guess I’m done now prison await. Besides Salem offered me world on a plate what’s better than that?
Jaune: Okay, little man, so what’s your plan?
Mecury: What?
Jaune: Yeah, little man, what’s you plan?
Mercury: I mean-
Jaune: What’s your plan? Tell me, little man, what you gone do when you got the world in your hands? You get all money and get some respect. You make yourself sound like you really are a threat. Yes its true, your right about me. I did what it took to follow my dreams. But now look at me. I am all three. Money, Power and respect. A threat guaranteed. I lost many people but yet I still breath. Yet I still believe in what we can achieve.
Mercury: … … …. What are you saying to me?
Jaune: We’re nothing like them.
Mercury: What do you want from me?
Jaune: Show me your bravery. Leave it all BEHIND and make history.
Mercury: But I-
Jaune: You’re nothing like him.
Mercury: I’m-
Jaune: You can still be better.
Emerald: *burst in door* And if your not sure we can explore it together. We’ll have each other.
Jaune: And if you believe-
Mercury: Believe?
Jaune: In yourself.
Emerald: And me.
Jaune and Emerald: There’s nothing you can’t achieve.
Mercury: Really?
Jaune: Right.
Emerald: You can fly. Again. Sore the sky. Again.
Jaune: Away from sun. Together with us. We can make history. Forge our destiny. Our story will be legendary. So-
Jaune: *pulls his hand out* What do you say?
Mercury: Hmm. Well-
Jaune: Yes, you will paid.
Mercury: And?
Jaune: Yes, come man, what do you say?
Mercury: *shakes Jaune’s hand* Alright you got a deal compadre.
RWBY: Dang.
Oscar: They went play by play.
Nora: So Jaune? Tell us, what’s now the team’s name?
Jaune JMNI. What do you all think?
Mercury: I got say, it’s got nice ring to.
Ilia: I accept the team name. No mistake.
Neo: *agrees with smile*
Jaune: Guess we agree. But before we celebrate we have demonstrate, how useful we are, leave no trace to debate. So let’s start on our first case. What do you say?
Mercury, Ilia and Neo(with a sign): Bring it.
Jaune: Oh this will be great.
Nora: Can we stop rhyming.
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xxsabitoxx · 1 year
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I Still Do It Better {Teaser}
<Obanai x Mitsuri x Fem! Reader>
<Sequel to I Can Do It Better>
Warnings: the full fic will have a proper set of warnings
A/N: I’ve received so many requests for a sequel and a few months back I finally got around to it. Then I took my hiatus and returned to realize I didn’t like where past me was taking this sequel… so I scrapped it. Now, over a year after posting the initial fic, here is a proper teaser for the second part
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You sunk lower in the water, not stopping until it reached just below your nose. You couldn’t believe yourself, betrayed by your own thoughts several times while trying to go about your day to day life. You had no concept of how to bring it up again, the physical reminders left on your skin wouldn’t let you forget. Yet, part of you was aching for more, not quite satisfied with the marks that remained. You wanted more, from both parties.
But above all else, you wanted to prove your worth. You wanted to convince Obanai you were worthy of his cum. Your legs kicked in the water, eyes squeezing shut as you came to the conclusion that you’d simply be plagued with these thoughts until you did something about them. Laying alone in your bed after had been the worst part. Having to drag yourself from their warm home and back to your empty quiet one felt like a death sentence.
“You really don’t have to leave just yet.” Mitsuri was worrying around you, fixing your hair neatly after you refused the offer of a bath. You wanted to wash your skin yourself, not create some fantasy that you’d stay here forever. “I’m fine, really Mitsuri. I need to get back in case I’m summoned for a mission.” You waved her off, thanking her quietly after she finished your hair. “Are you sure? You really don’t want to stay longer? We wouldn’t mind.”
Obanai didn’t interject, instead he remained quiet as he began wrapping his face once more on the far side of the room. He had been awfully quiet since waking up, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like you were used to. “I appreciate the offer. I truly do. But I have to get back to my own home.” Your hands fidgeted in your lap, moving to stand with a slight limp. “You can’t even walk properly, please stay. Let us help you… it’s the least we could do.”
You felt warmth spread across your face, especially since you caught Obanai chuckling softly. “Mitsuri please, if she wants to leave, let her leave.” You didn’t want to leave, but you knew if you stayed you’d fall in deep and never recover. Little did you know the damage was already done. “Alright… but if you need us, you know where to find us.” Mitsuri’s hands fell to her kimono, fidgeting because she couldn’t quite figure out how to say goodbye.
It was a one time thing, there were no strings attached from it. At least that’s what you told yourself as you bowed to them, stepping off their front porch and heading back the way you had come. It was a one time thing, nothing more. It repeated like a mantra as you limped back, face holding on to the embarrassed warmth as you tried your damn hardest to not look like you had just got your ass handed to you. “Damn him.”
You pushed yourself up, the bath water sloshing dangerously close to the edge. “What the hell am I going to do?” you whined to no one, your voice bouncing off the walls and right back at you. It felt like you were being taunted at this point, like the universe was waiting to see how long you would take to crack. You had to wonder what would happen if you just gave in. What if you just dragged your sorry ass back to their estate and begged for a second round… a rematch.
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eternally-smitten · 17 days
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Forever and Always
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summary: After a terrible attack, Natalie feels that death truly isn't the end
word count: 1.6k
content warnings: death, blood mention, body horror, zombies/living dead, angst
author's note: i love this au. so much. i needed some sort of angst. i meant to post this a while ago but school got in the way. now, i can finally post it.
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“No, no, no, no, no,” Natalie whimpered, crawling over to Herbert’s lifeless body. She cradled him with shaking hands while trying to think straight.
How did it all go so wrong? He was fine, upright and breathing just a few minutes ago. It felt like a blur to Natalie. First, her ideas get stolen. Next, said stolen ideas become more advanced and applied to new subjects. Then, said subjects attacked like feral animals. Now, Herbert is dying in her arms.
“No, you can’t.” She whispered. “You can’t die, you just can’t!”
Herbert wanted to reply. He wanted to reassure her so badly. But whenever he tried to speak, blood gurgled in his mouth and it hurt too much. He weakly cupped her face one more time before going limp. 
Natalie’s eyes went wide and she shook him. “Herb, Herbert! No, don’t do this to me. Don’t play games! Come on,”
She wanted it to be a prank. She wished it was just some horrible, twisted nightmare she couldn’t wake herself up from. A choked cry forced its way out of her throat and she collapsed into his still warm chest. Her tears stained the coat he died in and Natalie could feel the cloth growing damp. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t accept it.
Maybe she didn’t have to.
A thought popped into her head and it made her sit upright. She absentmindedly rubbed the dripping snot with the back of her hand before reaching for her bag that was hidden amongst the ruins. Natalie clumsily searched through it until she found exactly what she needed: her reagent. Maybe she did not have to live without him, afterall. She found a cure, didn’t she? He was still fresh, too. 
“Okay, okay,” a smile tugged at her lips. “It’s okay, Herbert! See? You’ll be okay! I’ll make sure you’re okay!”
Excitement coursed through her veins as she nervously unbuttoned his shirt to expose his chest. She then popped the syringe into her reagent and took a larger dosage, just as she had time and time again. 
She pinched the syringe between her fingers and hovered over Herbert’s face. “I…I love you, you know that?”
If he could reply, Natalie knew that he would say it back. The thought alone gave her enough comfort to continue with her scheme. With careful hands, she injected her reagent into his heart and watched intensely for his reaction. Death did not have to be the end of them.
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It had been two weeks since the chaos happened. Despite the hospital’s attempt to keep a lid on the story, it was all anyone in the area could talk about. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about the gore, the bloodshed, the oddness that surrounded the horrors that happened in the night. There was buzz around the outcasted student, Natalie and her now missing boyfriend, Herbert. It was known that they were together during the events but his body was never found. When asked, Natalie didn’t say much besides quietly muttering that he was badly injured and wanted to be treated at home. She refused to elaborate any further. No one really bought the story but because she was so visibly distraught, everyone left her alone. She was already disturbed enough, they didn’t want to exacerbate that.
Of course, that wasn’t the truth. 
After the massacre happened, Natalie sort of floated through life at school. She went to class, took notes, then left without interacting with anyone. Her classmates were comfortable with this new norm. No one wanted to be associated with the girl found amongst the destroyed morgue in the hospital. 
Today was no different. Once classes were done for the day, Natalie slinked away without a second trace. As soon as you blinked, she was gone. Everyone felt it was best to keep it that way. Natalie’s classmates didn’t want to ask her questions but they also felt funny ignoring what happened with her. She also didn’t want to answer any questions since she isn’t great at lying. This set up worked best for all involved.
The days these past two weeks seemed to drag on slower and slower to her. All she wanted to do nowadays was stay home but her degree mattered to her. Besides, what would Herbert say? He would be disappointed if she didn’t attempt to continue her education in something she was so passionate about. It wasn’t the same without him, though, so she always looked forward to rushing home. 
The door creaked as it slowly opened and the house was dead quiet. She stepped inside and went to shut the door behind her, but something got in the way and kept it ajar.
“Natalie!” Dan said. “Jesus, you look like hell.”
“...Thanks?” She squinted her eyes at him. “What are you doing here?”
He let himself inside and gave her a troubled look. “What do you mean? You barely talk to anyone these days. I wanted to check in on you, I guess. Especially after…Everything.”
Natalie pursed her lips. “Well, that’s very thoughtful of you, Dan. I’m afraid I’m not really free to chat now, so if you don’t mind-”
A low groan interrupted her and made both of them jump. Daniel looked at her, frightened. He assumed the worst and worried someone broke into her house. He knew she lived alone since…
“Nat, okay, we gotta get you out of here.” He said, reaching for her.
She stepped away and shook her head. “No, no, it’s fine! I think the pipes are acting up.”
Another groan echoed in the house, making Natalie wince.
“That is not a damn pipe.”
“Dan-”
“Natalie, come on now,” he said, getting irritated now.
She sighed loudly. “Listen, promise not to freak out if I show you?”
He hated when she asked questions like that because it always meant that yes, it would freak him out and he would not be able to hide that. Instead of voicing that, he swallowed thickly and nodded.
Natalie hesitated slightly before leading him down the basement steps. It was dark and cold and Dan felt this looming sense of dread as he followed her. She walked ahead of him and quickened her pace as they got closer to the room. Then, she flicked the light switch on and ran to whatever was making the noise.
“Herbie, I’m home.” She said calmly, taking his lifeless hand in hers. 
Dan stood on the last step speechless. His dead friend was standing before him holding the hand of his other friend. But it wasn’t Herbert. At least, not how he used to be. His eyes were glassy, his mouth was slightly hanging open, and his movements were sluggish. 
“You promised you wouldn’t freak out.” Natalie huffed, clearly irritated by him.
“I-I-I-” He stuttered, not sure how exactly to respond.
She ignored his shock and turned her attention back to her undead boyfriend, “I missed you today. These days are so boring nowadays.”
Herbert tilted his head to the side. “Missed…you.”
“That’s not Herbert.” Dan said, still in shock.
Natalie snorted. “Of course it is! Aren’t we looking at the same person?”
Daniel took slow, careful steps towards them and shook his head. “Yes, and no that is not the Herbert we knew.”
She shrugged. “It clearly is, Daniel. He responds just like a human would so the Herbie he was before must still be here now.”
“He’s responding to you like any animal would!” His voice wavered and echoed in the cold basement.
“Animals can understand words and feel love, too.” Natalie cupped Herbert’s cheek and grinned at him. “At the end of the day, we’re all animals.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You know exactly what I meant! Have you lost your mind?”
She looked displeased. “You already knew about my reagent so I don’t understand why you’re so hysterical. Why aren’t you happy that your friend is back?”
“Dead is dead, Natalie.” He couldn’t look at Herbert too long without feeling sick. “It was fine at first when it was little pinky mice and roadkill you found but now you’re playing God.”
“I just wanted my boyfriend alive again.” Natalie said plainly. “And, well, I had the means to do so. Wouldn’t you do the same if you were in my position?”
Dan was speechless. He wanted to shout at her. Tell her that no, he would never dream of doing the same thing if he ever lost the love of his life. But he couldn’t bring himself to utter those words. He watched as Natalie carefully interacted with the reanimated Herbert and how he seemed to respond in an almost human way.
He seemed to recognize her, try to talk back, and even love her the way he did before when he was alive. It was kind of…sweet? In an odd, disturbing way, sure.
“You don’t let him roam the house, do you?” He finally asked, breaking the awkward silence that fell between them.
Natalie rolled her eyes. “Well, duh, yeah I do. It’d be cruel if I just kept him down here all the time. I just have him stay down here while I’m away.”
Daniel sighed heavily. “I don’t know why I’m surprised at this point.”
“I’m not sure either.” She replied, never looking away from Herbert. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, I need to help him upstairs. Unless you’d like to stay for tea?”
Against his better judgment, he agreed to tea. He watched in terrified amazement as Natalie led Herbert up the stairs and to the kitchen. He also grimaced when one of Herbert’s eyes fell out and plopped on to the table. It was also a sight to behold watching Natalie gently put it back into place for him. Dan couldn’t ignore the fact that they seemed just as loving as before, though.
“Love…you.” Herbert worked up the energy to speak to her as she sat next to him.
Natalie smiled and took a long sip of her tea. “I love you too, Herb. Forever and always.”
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tag list: @kylars-princess @bobmckenzie @maviwavis i'm going to leave it at that since i'm not sure if anyone else wants to be tagged in something like this LOL
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conitagray · 8 months
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"i’m still into you, morales."
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pairing: miles morales !1610 x reader
genre: angst to fluff:)
inspo song: still into you. - paramore
warnings: cursing, blood, near death experience for reader, angry miles:(, green goblin being a creepy ass bitch, weapons.
words: 1.2k.
summary: the only way he can keep you safe is by breaking up with you for your safety, but months later you run into him and fortunately, you’re still into him.
a/n- ill be taking a small break after writing this due to my mental health literally crashing but i promise yall once im back ill post something😭 this is a small fic bc im currently focusing on other stuff at the moment AND i wanna thank @smokeywhalee for giving me the idea on the last part love ya mwahh❤❤
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can't count the years on one hand that we've been, together.
miles and you have been best friends since you were small— quite frankly your whole childhood. miles was always right by your side through thick and thin, and you did too.
but when our fingers interlock, can’t deny, can’t deny you’re worth it.
and that’s when you started dating miles, you realized he fell in love with you the moment he saw you and his love grew fonder and fonder as he grew older.
you recount the night that you first, told his mother, and on the drive back to your house, he told you for the first time he loved you.
and you felt the weight of the world fall off your shoulders, and you sing along to the start of forever—
but that ended soon.
ever since miles became spiderman, his life started to become more dangerous — and you were worried sick.
everyday he would climb to your apartment, wounded and injured and you’d always patch him up, and he would always leave you worried.
so that’s when he decided to leave you for his own safety— and yours.
when he broke the news to you, it’s like your whole world stopped— you were frozen and so was time, but it was for your own good and his.
“i’m so so sorry mi corazon, it’s for your own good, i promise. please don’t cry anymore.” he whined, cupping your jawline as he wiped your tears.
you could see his glistening eyes, his tears waiting to fall as if they were impatient, you felt your heart shatter even more every minute you looked into his eyes.
you grabbed the said hand that was on your jaw, holding it tightly and savoring the last moment you both were witnessing.
he gave you one final goodbye kiss and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.
you couldn’t do anything now that your love of your life was gone, you couldn’t believe it that your last moment with miles is with him leaving.
———
hours of sleepless nights, days of overthinking and sadness burying you, and weeks of crying passed since miles left you and you couldn't even tell time anymore, you were still into him but what could you do now?
it was not until everything went downhill for you.
the green goblin has been miles's archnemesis for god knows how long ever since he became spiderman— and the green goblin was determined to find you, the love of his life, and make him miserable, so he used you as bait.
as you were walking down a sketchy road to pass the convenience store to get a snack, you heard a loud clang in a sketchy alleyway and you stopped in your tracks, turning your head to look at the gloomy area— and before you knew it, the green goblin glided out and took you in, covering your mouth to prevent you from screaming and his other hand holding a knife.
he took you to a rooftop in a sketchy area, the moon and street lights being so dim you can barely see anything. the green goblins breath over your neck as the knife he was holding was now on your neck, as he glided through the surface of it and making you bleed and wince in pain.
“what do you want from me? let me fucking go please!” you screamed as tears planted your face— trying to escape from his grasp.
“now now sweetheart, i need your little boyfriend, you’re useless to me— i just need to kill you and then kill him next.”
he whispered into your ear as you cringed back— his words echoing in your mind over and over again, the realization hitting you that he’s gonna kill miles— when you heard a voice from afar, a familiar voice you’ve always known.
“let ‘em go.” the voice was demeaning, when you lifted your head up and saw.. “miles..?” you whispered as tears began streaming down your face, when the green goblin shut you up by slicing another cut with the knife as you cried out in pain.
miles webbed the knife onto the ground as he stepped closer and was ready to pounce on the green goblin, he’d do anything just to keep you alive— even it means he had to face the opposite.
“hold on now— if you’re gonna kill me you’ll be killing them now wouldn’t you?” he said, his free hand now gripping on your neck as he choked you— your struggling making your breath shorter every second.
miles put his hand down as he looked over to the green goblins glider that was on the side of the door— he grabbed it by webbing it and slid it off the rooftop, the web still holding on to it as it was dangling off the rooftop.
the green goblin gasped as he let go of your neck, leaving you to fall on the ground as you gasped for air— the sight of you making miles want to punch out the green goblins guts for doing this to you.
“it’s either, you give me them or i’ll drop your precious little glider.” miles protested, his voice was low but angry— a side of him you’ve never seen before.
the green goblin didn’t answer as he kept stepping closer to miles, and miles backing away in his every move.
the green goblin got tired of his little game and grabbed your hand and threw you over to miles, which in result making miles more furious.
“there, you have them now give me back my glider.” the green goblin protested as he walked closer to miles.
“come and catch it then.” miles let go of the web resulting the green goblin shouting a “NO!” — the glider falling down as the green goblin jumped to get it.
miles then looked over to you, bending down to your height as you sat on the floor— in pain and helpless.
“are you okay?” miles panicked, his both hands on your shoulders as he scanned for wounds other than the one on your neck.
you nodded as you swallowed the lump in your throat, causing you to tear up again and this making miles even more worried.
“i’m.. i’m still into you, morales.” you blurted out, causing miles to look at you with admiration.
“i should be over by the butterflies already but, i’m into you,”
as you sighed shakily to look up at miles, his hand reached for your jawline as he caressed it softly, wiping the blood away from your neck as he kissed you softly.
its like you’ve been waiting for this moment forever, now that the green goblin was gone (or was he..?)— he had you all to himself with no worries.
he pulled away from the kiss, chuckling softly as your forehead pressed on his, your nose brushing over his.
“god how i missed you and this moment, mi vida, i’m so sorry i left you— there want a day that passed by that i haven’t thought about you.” he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer to him as your head was on his shoulder.
“i missed you more, and i’m glad you’re still into me.”
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© hearts4hobie, all rights reserved. do not steal, translate, and rewrite without permission. love y’all mwah♥️ 💋
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blublublujk · 7 months
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young blood (3)
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part 1 part 2 part 3
word count: 4k
genre: established/growing relationship
pairings: vampy koo x vampy reader, mentions of vampy tae
summary:
Jungkook, the youngest vampire in your clan, wakes up from his last and final resting cycle and that calls for one thing, and one thing only, it's time for his first feeding.
warnings: jungkook's first ever feeding as a vampire so its gonna get crazy and messy, buckle up!! violent content (a deer gets slayed), swearing, sexual content (noona kink, pain kink, slut shaming, tears, cock stepping (YAS), multiple orgasms, jungkook comes in his pants it's kinda pathetic, he also has a big dick, fingering, clothes gets torn off, strength kink, come as lube (so wet and messy), biting (fangs), blood kink (blood splatters and blood drinking), animalistic instinct?? (jungkook keeps sucking on readers blood even after he is told to stop but trust me she wants it, he's just a vampire baby that has zero to no control pls forgive him) unprotected rough sex, overstimulation) really sorry if something is missing, i really did try
a.n: man i wish i had a better excuse to why i've gone missing so instead i bring this... the real ones will enjoy it. thank me later hehe. stop writing about vampy jungkook CHALLENGE FAILED :D
i promise i'll be back with more i have been re-writing old work and plan posting new ones since i don't completely feel satisfied with my writing yet, just believe me this once okie...
see you soon.
—> m.list
—> welcome me on ao3 & twt
--
“The boy has risen.”
Five days. It had been exactly five days since those sweet doe-eyes took their last blink. That was probably the hardest part. Missing the sparkle within his eyes. You could stare into that sea of stars for hours, if given the chance. Jungkook was the prettiest human you had ever laid eyes on, and you were more than confident he would be an even prettier newborn vampire.
Jungkook was facing the wall when you first walked into the room. His pale hands were slowly moving around, feeling everything around him, his neck stretching out. The younger was still on the bed you and Taehyung had set up just for his transformation. He had yet to turn around and face you.
“Jungkook-ah, baby.” 
Jungkook nearly snaps his neck in half at the sound of your voice. The boy runs into your arms, his new super strength takes you by surprise as he lifts you easily into his arms, almost squishing you to death. “It worked!” 
You couldn’t help, but giggle. “Of course it did, silly boy. Were you worried?”
“Yes.” He takes a deep breath, releasing his tight grip (but just by a little). “I just wanted to be like you and Hyung-ie so badly.”
“You are now, baby. Forever.” You drop a kiss into his hair, softly tugging the mess of curls, bringing him in close.
“Mm, forever.” 
The younger’s bunny smile was still the same. Not that much his human features would change now that he’s a vampire, he was still as beautiful as ever.
“How you feeling, baby?” 
Those words make Jungkook snap into realization. He palms his throat feeling a burning ache, he swallows harshly, the ache grows only more intense. Nearly burning his insides. He notices more things as well. Stuff he didn’t even know was humanly possible, which it’s not, but for a vampire anything is possible. His scent is strong, he swears he can taste the tree bark outside. He definitely feels stronger, he no longer feels soft or weak. As he feels around his newborn body, he feels tougher. Yet the ache in his throat defeats all curiosity, it burns and he’s— well, he’s confused. What’s happening to him? 
“You’re hungry.” You state like it’s a fact, because it is, even if you can’t necessarily read his mind. 
When a Newborn wakes up from its last and final rest, it realizes its new senses first, everything they knew as a human becomes ten times more interesting as a vampire. They no longer require food, they still feed, but now they depend on one singular fluid, blood, which to a human would be like air or water. They notice their new strengths and with that their very few weaknesses. Soon after though, that’s when the most excruciating part begins. 
The baby vampire will realize a scorching sensation that grows quickly in the back of their throat. It’s hunger, of course, but a Newborn won’t recognize that phenomenon, or feeling. It’s like learning to walk all over again. It is not a “natural feeling”, and most dismiss the pain, treat it as merely as insignificant as that of a sore throat. But dismissing the pain only triggers the pain to increase. Before they know it, they will be pulled out for their first feeding, usually led by the eldest vampires. It will be messy, ugly, and most of all a whole new experience. One that will lead to more frequent occurrences. 
“Y-Yeah… I think I am.” Jungkook swallows, but it does nothing to ease the burning pain. 
You smile, kissing his nose gently. “Don’t worry Jungkookie, Noona will take you on your first feeding.”
“Okay. W-What about Hyung?”
“Taehyung will join us in the next one. He’s taking care of other stuff for now. Don't worry about him. We gotta worry about your thirst first.” 
The boy agrees with a light nod. You stick your hand out and Jungkook takes hold of it, following you out of the house and into the darkest parts of the forest. He followed you like a lost puppy, caressing his throat, but even that did nothing. His throat was ripping him apart from the inside. 
The journey isn’t far because you made sure that Jungkook had all he needed for his first feeding relatively close. Jungkook takes a good look around, and although he is not alone by any means, he sees nothing. Only the huge trees that surrounded you both. It's murky and slightly cold. What now?
“I-I don’t get it.” Jungkooks gulps. “How am I supposed to feed?”
More like what is he supposed to be feeding on? 
The Newborn wraps his arms around himself. He looks lost because he just is. He doesn’t know where to begin, unlike you and Taehyung, you have been feeding all your life and for him, this is much different than picking up food from his local fast food chain. 
You only smile. “You don’t smell that yet, hmm?”
Jungkook inhales through his nose as much as his lungs allow him. At first nothing comes, but then the slightest scent catches his attention, kissing the tip of his nose. It is a very faint taste of a metallic sweetness on his tongue, he assumes immediately that this is what you are talking about as yards away he spots a large deer. Then the impossible occurs, Jungkook swears he could taste the blood rushing through the deer’s body. This is impossible. 
He can hear the beat of its healthy heart pumping its sweet blood, it beats against his ear deliciously. His mouth nearly drools at the sight. He tilts his head slightly, ready to pounce and shred it to pieces. 
“Ahh… now you smell it.” 
“N-Noona.” You hear the boy say, he grabs his own throat roughly, making a strangled noise as if he’s in great pain, had his nails been sharper (you made sure to file them while he slept for the last time), he would have torn his own esophagus out by now. He must eat now. “I— I- I” 
Your hands are on his face quickly. The vampire gets extremely pale, faint. “What baby? I’m here. Don’t you wanna feed? Come on baby, I’ll show you.”
Jungkook shakes his head. His pink lips start fading white. He’s extremely starved, it’s normal as a Newborn. Everyone is usually scared of their first feeding. Typically, they try to avoid their new carnal feelings, it’s almost animalistic, uncontrollable. It’s a crazy sensation to crave something as taboo as drinking blood. Most of them starve themselves avoiding all sorts of craving, but it’s impossible to ignore. A vampire can only go so long without blood before turning wild leaing them feral, that then is when they feed on anything in sight with no remorse, humans and vampires included. 
“What’s wrong, Jungkook-ah? Talk to me, baby.” The Newborn barely holds himself together, his eyes start dropping, unable to stand on his feet any longer, he drops his ass into the ground instead, physically struggling to keep his eyes open. 
“S-Shit Jungkook-ah. You’re starving. Don’t worry, Noona will bring the deer to you. Noona will feed you soon, my thirsty baby vampire. I got you.” Though the deer started moving along, it can’t be that far away, you can still smell its blood pumping yards away, almost feeling it drain its precious blood into your mouth. As you turn to end his misery, a strong grip wraps around your wrist.
“D-Don’t. I-I don’t wanna be a-alone.” The baby vampire shivers, cold sweat dripping from his forehead. “N-Noona, I– I think I’m dying.”
You shake your head wiping him down with your jacket, not caring about getting it dirty. “No baby. You’re just hungry. I’m here. I’ll only leave for a second. I promise. I’ll be back.” 
Jungkook whines, dragging you tightly against him. “No.” 
“Fuck okay. I won’t leave you Jungkook-ah, but you have to feed right now.” You bring a hand behind his neck burying his face against your throat and you hear a muffled cry buried deep into your neck. “Bite down baby. Don’t hold back, but d-don’t take everything. I-I’ll tell you when to stop.”
His breath is hot, you feel his fangs barely graze your neck, not quite enough to cut through the flesh before he pulls off, with a strangled sob. “F-Fangs, they hurt. Really bad.”
“They’re just sensitive, my love. They won’t break off, I know it feels like that, but they won’t. You can do it baby, just bite down.” 
Jungkook furiously shakes his head. This won’t do. They fucking hurt. His tongue goes to massage his gums, but he hisses as soon as it comes in contact. It’s far too sensitive. “N-No. I won't be able to bite down, N-Noona. It hurts, ‘m so hungry. Please Noona.”
The younger is not even sure what he’s begging for, but he knows he’s in the best hands. He’s gonna be okay even if right now he feels his throat has been lit on fire. He knows you would never let him die straving so he closes his eyes for a second allowing himself to rest against the tree.
“S-Shit Jungkook. Okay. Sit up baby, Noona will feed you now.” Your fangs come out quickly as they pierce through your wrist, you bite down as hard as you can so the Newborn’s only job will be to place his fangs through. The blood instantly leaks down your wrist before you rush it over his mouth. “Here baby, bite.”
Jungkook attaches himself immediately to your leaking wrist, his fangs fit perfectly within the gaping holes. He moans with the first initial taste, he sucks with a lot of force, you know you should tell him to slow down, but you don’t even have the heart. The Newborn stuffs his fangs (they are a bit longer than yours) even deeper into the soft flesh, the sensitivity in his fangs finally dying down a bit. 
You groan at the feeling and he continues to suck the life out of you. He was gonna definitely leave a mark, maybe even permanently. Taehyung wasn’t gonna be too happy about that, but it was far too late to tell him to stop anyways. Jungkook fed from you as if you were the tastiest meal he has ever had. The sweet tangy taste was fucking addictive Jungkook never wanted it to end, he could definitely see himself getting used to this. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy when you finally tell him to stop. He doesn’t even know if that’s gonna be possible. This is what he was missing out on? The rush… it’s indescribable, but fucking incredible. He has never felt so alive. 
“O-Okay suh–slow down, baby.” It’s as if you told him to do the opposite. Jungkook continues to lick and bite into anything he can get his mouth on, his tongue coming out to collect the drops of blood that escape from your wrist and leak down your arm. 
You should really, really stop him now, but it feels soooo good, you were always a slut for pain.
“Noona t-tastes so good, so sweet.” A moan rips from your throat as he peels himself off, this time he bites into your neck, the blood instanly hits his tongue and he’s addicted, evermore. He’ll never stop now. He bites down into the vein and the blood rushes into his mouth. Nothing compares to blood directly from the source, he has learned this lesson very early on.
“J–Jungkook...” You are really struggling yourself now, your eyes struggle to stay open, he’s starving you. “Okay enough. Stop.”
The Newborn shakes his head, whining and whimpering into your throat. 
“Stop.” It comes out as a whisper and he denies your calling again. Forcing himself onto you, he bites harshly not giving a fuck about how you tremple and desperately whine below him. He’s killing you and he doesn’t even realize it. Stupid baby vampire. “I said, stop!”
Jungkook is nearly sobbing full on tears when you force him off, tugging his hair back with great force. “N-No, puh– please Noona, ‘m sorry. I’m still so hungry. Please. Feed me!”
He shouts at you like you hadn’t been the one helping him from starving to death. “Control yourself, Jungkook-ah. You almost just fucking killed me!”
The boy's eyes soften and he cries harder. “‘M so so sorry, Noona. I don’t want you to die because of me. I’ll be better. S-Sorry.”
The younger one starts to leak pretty tears, decorating his face quite nicely. You sigh lighly, allowing your emotions to simmer. “Stay here. I’ll bring us the meal.” 
Jungkook doesn’t hold you back this time, not like he was given the choice anyways, this was an order. He manages to keep his position on the cold gravel. It doesn’t take you long to find the deer, you wrap an arm around the deer and put it down with a quick blow to its chest. This was your least favorite part when you first turned, watching the sweet creature fall to its knees and eventually its death, but it got easier with time. Now, you take them down without hesitation or care, it’s in your nature after all. 
You settle the deer at Jungkook’s feet when you return. His eyes widen when he realizes what’s expected of him next. “N-Now what?”
“We eat, my sweet baby vampire.” In the moment, he almost thinks you look cute, but he watches you dig your sharp nails into its wooly hair and tear it nearly in half. The blood rushes out like water and splatters everywhere, some landing on your face and Jungkook’s cheek. Jungkook would be lying if he said this wasn’t the hottest thing he has ever seen, even with blood tainting your perfect face, you were fucking beautiful. Without hesitation you lean in and drink the blood while it’s still fresh and sweet. 
Jungkook hesitates for a bit before he leans in on his own side and slurps up. The flood of red liquid cools his burn almost instantly. At first, Jungkook didn’t understand it. Why slash a deer in half when you can just drink from the source directly? It wasn’t convenient, not at all. It's messy and more blood gushes onto the floor than anywhere else, but he gets it now. He understands. The sight of blood splattering across your face, the way your eyes dilated, mouth drooling… he’ll never forget it. He’s so fucking hard. He moans into the deer's skin, sucking it dry. 
For the first time ever, Jungkook thinks you look like a monster. After all that really is what vampires are, just monsters trying to survive in a world built for humans. Though you prefer the term creature, monster is a bit too extreme for your liking, you can’t help your kind for being. 
Either way, in Jungkook’s eyes, you were the sexiest monster he had ever laid eyes on (not that he came across much), but he would genuinely let you do anything. 
You both keep feeding and it's the hottest thing ever. In fact, you’re so focused on feeding that you nearly miss a grunt rip through Jungkook’s throat. But that isn’t what distracts you, no… it’s Jungkook’s hard cock against your thigh. 
The younger starts rutting against your thigh like a dirty fucking animal, a bitch in heat if you will. 
Eventually, the deer runs dry. 
Your mouth comes off and you lick the leftover blood dripping from your lips. Jungkook, well, he’s still rubbing himself on you. 
“Jungkook.” Usually, the boy comes to a halt embarrassed about the situation but no, this time, he’s desperate. So fucking needy and horny. “Hey.” 
Jungkook hums, finally popping off the deer, he looks down at his little (big) problem. Shamelessly he keeps grinding hands besides you to support himself, but not for long. You shove him off you. 
“I— Noona.” 
“You’re so fucking dirty. So fucking nasty. But you know that right baby? Hmm? Good for nothing besides leaking come.” Your words go straight to his dick, only making him harder, if he didn’t know any better he would have sworn he has already come from how much he’s leaked into his boxers. 
He softly whines, feeling his stomach stir in heat. “Yes… yes Noona, I am. So so dirty and nasty. Please Noona, I wanna come so bad. ‘M so horny.” 
“Yeah? You wanna come.” The pretty vampire nods, looking dainty and fragile, even if it is far from the truth. “Okay then, you’ll come on my terms.” 
You stood up, all tall and mighty, without warning, you stepped on his crotch enough to feel his length beneath your foot. Jungkook yelps, feeling the pressure build on his hard cock. “Like this. You’ll come like this. Move, my baby vampire. Take what you need.” 
And that is exactly what he does. Desperately, Jungkook grinds against your heel. He didn’t imagine himself ever being into cock stepping, but he isn’t even surprised or one to complain. You bring the worst out of him. He grunts and moans without holding back, feeling more heat coil in his stomach, he’s so fucking close. Of course you know this, so you step on him harder and the boy comes undone beneath you with a strangled cry. 
“Oh! Oh my fucking god!” Jungkook comes so much, he’s sure his briefs are a fucking mess, he’ll most likely throw it away anyways. “So good Noona, s-so good.” 
“Yeah?” A smile grows on your face, watching blush start painting his pale cheeks. He somehow manages to look small and embarrassed as if he didn’t just fuck himself agaisnt your foot. God, he could be so adorable. 
“Yes. Always ‘s good.” Jungkook pauses, he looks shy before asking. “What about you Noona? I wanna please you too.” 
“Yeah? You think you can handle me right now?” 
The younger exhales a scoff. “You know I can.” 
“Yes… yes you can, my pretty slutty baby.” The younger’s lashes flutter as if it’s a compliment to his ears (it is), he feels you land on his lap, hands take place on the swole end of your ass, like they belong there (you both know they do). “You gonna fuck me now? Huh baby?”
“Yes, Noona. I’ll fuck you so good. Just how you like it.” He’s breathless, yet that doesn’t stop him from reaching behind your neck and locking lips with you. His tongue comes out shyly, before forcing your mouth open with a bite. He sucks and licks into your mouth, still savoring the faint taste of blood on your tongue. With syched moans, he forces his lips off yours kissing down your jaw and neck, nipping at the tender flesh, God, he could never get enough of you.
“Kook…” Your voice is light. “Just fuck me already baby.” 
Maybe you should have let him continue at his own pace because the second he hears your sweet demand, he literally tears your bottoms in half, just enough to slip a hand below. His fingers tease your soft puffy folds, easing one finger inside them. The younger’s middle finger toys your clit, he feels a bit rough to the touch, yet the stimulation causes a whine to slip from your lips. He focuses on the gasp forcing your mouth to fall wide, the blood splattered on your face is now dry, but it paints your face beautifully. Anyone else would run in fear, but Jungkook feels he has always belonged here, he’s really home. 
The younger one sticks his tongue out and attempts to lick the dried blood off your face. He fails, but the attempt is very much there, ignoring the slobber on your face. 
Finally, two fingers gather your juices before carefully sliding them into your tight hole, which selfishly takes them both. Your arms wrap around Jungkook, pressing moans into his neck as he fingers your pussy with skill. He doesn’t go fast, just enough to open you up before he takes you on his cock. 
“Oh– right there, Jungkookkk.” The Newborn pushes his fingers deeper, finding your g-spot with ease, you coat his fingers nicely. He can taste your slick on his tongue, it's driving him insane. Jungkook contemplates adding another finger, but he does it anyway and you clench around his fingers, breath hitching against his ear. “Fuh–Fuckkk…”
Slolwy, you start to ride his fingers, feeling them stretch your walls. “K-Kiss me.”
He leans in without hesitation and kisses you sloppily, on demand. When things start to escalate, tongue deep in your mouth, saliva coating your lips, he pulls out of you gently and pushes you towards the floor with a cut–off yelp, ass up face down. He brings his hips to yours, letting you feel just how hard you made him. He feels unnecessarily big and heavy behind you, this alone makes you shiver in anticipation for what's to come. He waits no longer. Jungkook thinks if he doesn’t stuff your pussy full of dick right now, he might just pass away at this very moment. 
Jungkook unzips his pants, dragging them down, along with his messy boxers. He blows a harsh breath out, watching your folds glisten in the natural light. He wishes things were different, that he could eat you out, that is if he didn’t feel his dick was about to explode in his hand. “R-Ready baby?” 
“Always. Don’t hold back, baby, fuck me how I like it.” The younger wastes no time further, he gathers just enough of his own come off his boxers and uses it as lube (with all the intention to just fuck it back into you). He coats his length before he’s burying himself inside you. Even after three fingers, Jungkook manages to stretch your walls to the brim, fucking you deep and consice. You feel as tight as ever. “Oh my, fucking god...”
He slows down, allowing you to adjust, your eyes close feeling him thrust with care. The boy carrases your arching back, feeling your heat tighten against him. “So fucking good for me. I love your pussy so much, Noona. You always take me so well.”
His praises bring heat to your stomach, squirming below him. “Y-Yeah, baby? Fuck me like you mean it then.” 
“Don’t worry, Noona. I’ll fuck you until you forget who truly owns you.” His words breakthrough like glass before he’s pushing you further into the ground, shoving his dick as deep as he can go, fucking you like the slut you were. 
I’ll fuck you until you forget who truly owns you. 
Taehyung… you belong to Taehyung but here you were, getting fucked like some whore and by the youngest vampire in your clan. Pornagraphic moans escape your mouth, as you attempt to hold onto anything below you but nothing works, Jungkook is fucking into you and holding on like you’ll escape. 
The grip on your hips is bound to leave bruises, but that increasingly excites him. The hot pit in your gut starts to twist, you’ll come in a second if he keeps this pace. Nevertheless, Jungkook moans shamelessly, keeping his brutal pace, watching you make a mess of his dick every time he pulls back. 
“J-Jungkook… I’m gonna fucking come, slow down.” You quietly demand, but this does nothing for you, he increases his speed, grunting as he feels you pulse around his cock. It’s messy and fast, just the way you like it. Felt so perfect wrapped around him. 
“Y-You asked for this, Noona, now take it.” The younger fucks into you at an alarming rate, his hands grope your ass cheeks apart feeling him dive further. Your eyes roll back, skin clapping on skin with no desire to end.
“Fuh–Fuck, Jungkook. Baby, I– I’m gonna come.” Goosebumps rise on your skin, feeling a cold breeze wrap around you. He watches as his cock disappears inside your sex, he’s so fucking close himself. 
“Come on my dick Noona, make a mess out of it, hmm just how you like it.” The Newborn bites his lip attempting and failing to hold his moans, so instead he embraces them and nearly growls feeling you become tighter every thrust. 
“C-Coming.” Is the only word that manages to make it out before you tremble under his sensitive touch. The knot inside your stomach breaks, releasing your juices all over his thick length. The sensation of you coming on his cock never gets old, he groans holding back his own release. 
“F-Fuck, just like that Noona, so good for me. Always so good. I’m gonna come too.” Jungkook whines, doing everything in his power to stop from milking you full (he will most likely do it anyways). 
“Inside baby, i-inside.” He feels you melt under him before he’s pushing his warm seed inside you, nearly collapsing on top of you, still fucking his release deep into you. 
Jungkook manages to slip out carefully, placing you on top of his chest, his harsh pants manage to calm you regardless of him fucking your thoughts away. The younger calms his breathing before speaking above a whisper. “Thank you, Noona. Thank you.” 
“Anytime my baby vampire, anytime.”
48 notes · View notes
urbanleftovers · 2 months
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[Aemond x reader] [Aegon x reader]
[Warnings: fluff, unprotected sex]
[Summary: Couldn't have said it better]
English is not my native language, so apologies in advanced
Modern real-life setting
Masterlist
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The first two months you and Aegon spent together, were all fucking, partying, and traveling with no interruption whatsoever. That was until Aemond Facetimed you, luckily Aegon wasn’t there.
“COULD YOU EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THAT YOUR THINGS ARE NOT HERE AND THE HOUSE IS A MESS?!” he roared
“Are you kidding me?! You just now ask me this? you replied indignantly
“Also, mind telling me why you told my mother you and I aren’t together anymore?!” he was fuming 
“Ask Alys Rivers you cunt” you replied venomously “For months you ignored me and just now you remembered I exist…”
“I- I-- and that was your solution, fucking off without even telling me?! he tried to justify himself
“Oh wow, you really are something… if you want closure, take this as a hint and don’t ever call me again,” you said as you hung the call and blocked him
You heard Aegon’s whistle.
“What an asshole…” he said
“Can you believe the nerve of this guy?!” you huffed
“ I do, I grew up with him, remember?” he asked you
“I don’t want to talk about him please, let’s just move on,” you said embracing him
He stood looking at you.
“Are you sure you want to keep doing this y/n?” he inquired
“Yes, I’ve never been more sure about something. I know I just said I didn’t want to talk about him, but now that he’s not in my life I finally feel free. I never could have done this If I had stayed. I know he’s your brother but he not only hurt me, he also controlled every aspect of my life, I truly felt prisoner of an illusion. I gave myself to him and I resent him for many things, and while his cheating hurt It freed me” you said while wiping your tears
“I know, we all knew and I already told you, I didn’t think you were ever going to leave him, but I’m glad you did. You deserve better…” he replied as he brushed your hair with his hand “Besides, I always knew you had something for me” 
He made you chuckle and you kissed him. 
You both napped until your groceries arrived. That night you both stayed at home watching a series of his election. Later as you were getting ready for bed and doing your skincare, he approached.
“You know, we can’t escape forever…” said Aegon while brushing his teeth.
You both kept traveling and partying for a few months. You’ve discovered your inner raver. You seldomly did drugs unlike Aegon who limited himself to drinks
“Please please please, just this once” you begged him 
He still said no
“I promise I will do anything you ask” you implored
“Anything?” Asked Aegon grinning at your proposal
“Anything” you blurted without much thought 
“Ok, two things…” he started “First, we’ll skinny dip”
You accepted without any consideration
“and second; forgive Helaena… she regrets it, and I believe her, she has a soft spot for him, otherwise she wouldn’t-” he continued
“Okay, but give me time” you answered
He put the Molly on his tongue and kissed you. 
You both partied hard for hours without feeling tired until you vomited and he forced you to drink water as well as he did. Then you went to the flat to rest. 
After that, you didn’t do drugs again, except for an occasional joint. He had proposed to take it down a bit and just travel and do regular things. Although you wanted to keep partying, you accepted. That took you both to another level, you could connect like when you were kids.
Eventually, you forgave Helaena. You told her you and Aegon were traveling together but nothing else. You frequently talked and, she joined you both on your trip for a few days while you were in Spain.
She was taking pictures, of everything, of you three…
“Please please please, just don’t post anything about me yet” you’d requested 
“You know, running away will get you only so far” she had warned
“And you-” now she was talking to Aegon “I’m glad you’re doing good for yourself but you’ll have to face Aemond when this long journey ends, you know this?”
You made a face and Aegon shrugged
“We will go by Christmas, I’m sure things will get calm by then” you assured her
Aegon snickered 
You knew something had clicked in Aegon, you just didn’t know what.
“Tell me what’s wrong…” you’d asked
You bickered him the whole day. He just didn’t respond.
As you went to bed and were about to sleep, you spooned him.
“I love you” he whispered hoarsely
He was silently crying. You turned to face him and hushed.
You didn’t respond because he had taken you by surprise.
“I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I fucking hated every second that you loved him and he got to be with you, that’s why I don’t want to go back home because he’ll chase you until you say yes because he’s relentless and he’s all that I’m not--” he continued
“No, I will never be with him again Aegon… listen, you deserve to be with someone who says I love you right away. I do feel things for you I haven’t processed yet, I’m still figuring myself out and I wouldn’t change this for anything, I still want to travel with you, but if this is how you feel, I don’t want to hurt you in the process…while I-” you also said it crying.
You both hugged tightly, kissing each other, caressing each other.
Aegon kissed you deep while leaving a trace of kisses as he went down on you. He slowly opened your vagina with his tongue, while licking your lips, he inserted one digit first making you gasp, then he started to flicker your clit with his tongue at a torturous pace leaving you a moaning mess, he kept fingering you just how you liked and kissed your mouth letting you taste your juices
“I’m addicted to your sweet lips baby” he moaned to your ear and you came on his fingers
With a swift move, you took his fingers dripping with your cum and you licked them, then you lowered his underwear, and his erection sprung making your mouth water while looking at his fixed gaze, you started to suck his head making circles with the tip of your tongue leaving him sensitized to your touch, then your tongue lowered through the shaft up to the base, you also sucked his balls gently. His head was oozing precum, you again engulfed him and started to suck him, bobbing your head up and down, pressing your lips as he was about to cum. You stopped and softly threw him on his back and placed yourself on top riding him as he teased your clit with his thumb. You were both close, but feeling his cock twitch inside, made you shudder from pleasure as you both came.
He fell asleep snuggled in your breasts, and bliss made you fall instantly.
Bali was a blast, you both walked and cycled everywhere. Aegon seemed to attract monkeys everywhere he went. In Singapore you almost get yourself arrested for trying to blow him in a semi-public place, In Japan, you both crashed a wedding but the bride and groom were so nice they invited you to stay, Morocco is the place you most held dear, since you got lost and a caravan of bedouins invited you to camp with them in the desert and they married you both according to their ceremonies. Jokingly you both said the next place you were going to celebrate your “honeymoon” was Rio.
“We only have one more month” he’d say as you both walked through the beach
“I know, where would you like to go next? you asked
“I don’t know, let’s toss a coin, shall we? re replied radiant 
“I love you Aegon” you blurted 
He only looked at you
“Oh please don’t tell me now you don’t feel the same, although I’d totally understand if y--” you babbled and he shut you up with the sweetest kiss
“Since when?” he asked
“Since Japan, and I wanted to tell you so much in Morocco, but I was afraid I’d scare you off with the whole wedding thing” you gibbered 
“Oh, in Japan I kinda realized when you fed me the cake and I grabbed the bouquet… I was wondering when you were going to admit it, dear wife”
You jumped him and he grabbed you as you kissed under the carioquense sunset.
Aegon had chosen Australia as the last destination, first because it was near summer and he decided he couldn’t tired from the sun, and second because it was the longest trip to get home and he wanted this to last forever.
Australia treated you differently than you both would expected; you had your first fight and spent two days without saying a word to each other until he made a dumb joke in the street market that made you cackle and you sex reconciled on a secluded beach that evening. 
It was different because the dynamic had shifted. You talked a lot about yourselves, the relationship, what you were willing to give and negotiate, your families, and where you were going to live together. You both had a flat each but you wanted something yours as a couple, that’s why you re-scheduled your trip to arrive a few days earlier so you could move. Nobody would know you were together until Christmas.  
There were only a few days left before your departure back home, you had packed almost everything, and you had to buy a trunk to put all the stuff you and Aegon had collected along the journey so you could travel light and you’d send the trunk apart. 
He had prepared dinner and you were setting the table. You haven’t brought the subject before, because you didn’t want to go too fast, but if you were going to make this work, you needed to know.
“Do you want to have kids?” you asked anxious
He turned the fire off, stood closer, and cupped your face.
“As long as it’s with you, yes, I want to father your children y/n” he replied and kissed you deeply
You sighed in relief and kissed him again
The whole dinner was laughs and plans about what was to come. You went to bed and he started with the baby names and you both competed between approved and vetoes. You made love and rested until sunrise woke you.
It was your last day, you went to the beach early and ate breakfast as a picnic, and then you walked until the afternoon. Before going to the flat you’ve rented for your stay, he convinced you to go to this ramen place, knowing you were a sucker for it. It was almost empty and as you were enjoying your noodles, you saw him fidgeting.
He took your hand and put a ring on it. It was a lovely silver piece with the inner engraving of the date of your bedouin wedding.
“I was going to give it to you last night, but you were eager to make babies,” he said half joking
After you let him put the ring on your finger, you unclasped your Virgin Mary golden necklace, the one your deceased granny had given you when you were twelve, and put it on him.
“Are you sure? I know it was your granny’s and you’ve worn it ever since” he asked looking at it
“Yes, she gave it to me with the condition I’d promise to keep myself for the one I love, and although… well you know…  I give it to you, because you are my husband, the person I love the most, and I only regret not having done this sooner. I told you that you deserved someone who said I love you right back, and this is me saying I’ll always love you” you said and hugged him. You both cried. 
People clapped. You were mortified and he was too overjoyed to care. The waiter went to your table to say your meal was on the house. 
You went to the flat, where you made love all night. 
The next day, as you were boarding, you felt a certain uneasiness. 
“Ready to go back?” Aegon asked
“Are you ready to move in with me?” you retorted
“Of course, you’re my wife” He smiled back
NEXT CHAPTER
29 notes · View notes
as-u-w1sh · 1 year
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You'll be alright (Wanderer x AFAB! Reader)
Hello! This is my first post on Tumblr! I really like scaramouche so I decided to make some of my own content of him! I hope you enjoy! <3 I apologize if it's wonky! It isn't proofread... ehe-
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Summary: You kept Scaramouche from hitting the cold floor and now he's repaying the favor back while having some character development! Pst! I think he likes you!!!!
(Scaramouche/Wanderer x AFAB! Reader: Fluff/very light angst! 1.3k words)
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Warning! Descriptions of danger, mentions of SA, trauma!
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How can one be a god if they lack a gnosis? How could one reach this supreme level of ascension over other beings if they lack a key part in being one of Teyvat’s gods? How could’ve I have been within arms distance of my goal yet so far? There’s a plethora of questions that will never be answered and would it even matter? It didn’t matter at all. I don’t ultimately matter. As soon as the last thought appeared, the tubes attached to me tore, as I pathetically begged for my gnosis to be given back. It’s rightfully mine so why? Why can’t I have it back?
                                                         But.
As soon as the gnosis was in Lesser Lord Kusanali’s hands; unfortunately, even I knew that it was defeat. Too much to bear; my chest hurts. Everything hurts.
Why would I believe that my inner being hurts if I don’t have what it takes to be an actual human?
Nothing but a discarded puppet.
Just like a puppet, my strings had finally been cut.
*No one’s POV*
Scaramouche closed his eyes as the blur of the Traveler and Nahida left his vision. Without the strings to control him; how could he possibly move? Nonetheless, he accepted it. Thrown away once more. Nothing new, Scaramouche is used to this. The emotional trauma and fight causing his consciousness to slip gradually into the abyss he despised much so. His godly mechanical ‘form’ fading from existence as there was no use in looking at a mirror of himself; a failure. Scaramouche never hit the ground though. A strange pair of warm hands held him as he forced himself to take a glance at the being who decided he deserved to be treated as if he wasn’t the bad guy. As if he wasn’t just about to destroy the natural order of Teyvat. As if he wasn’t just about to commit undeniable atrocities if he had succeeded.
He doesn’t even deserve the warmth of a real pair of human hands.
It doesn’t matter if they felt better than the insufferable metal tubes that had just went through his back.
Yet, he couldn’t help but relish the feeling of what a real heart can provide.
Warmth, for he would forever be cold.
Like the radiant sunlight on his skin of the meadows in the painful past.
He hated the sun.
Oh how, he loved how it caressed his superficial body though.
Who did these hands belong to?
He shifted to look up as he laid in the lap of a maiden. The maiden he attempted to struck as he fought the Traveler. Why does she hold him with so much warmth? The mysterious maiden pursed her lips as she wiped the singular tear that fell down the puppet’s cheek; she was the barrier of Scaramouche and the ravaged floor. She gently held his hand and took pity on him. The only thing the maiden could think of is that this “boy” is like a wounded animal lashing out in fear; she put her hand on his chest. All she whispered was, “I’m sorry for those who had hurt you. You’ll be alright”, the indigo-haired boy’s breathe hitched. His throat caught with emotion as the light shined from above behind the maiden who ‘saved’ him. A halo of light that shrouded her amidst the darkness of the room they were in. The maiden took a small cloth to wipe his silent tears as he drowsily was captivated in her presence. Y/N put the detailed handkerchief in Scaramouche’s hand.  The puppet was lulled into a sleep like state as Nahida and the Traveler with Paimon watched on.
Nahida couldn’t help but smile.
The puppet did indeed have a heart.
Not one of a “human”, per say.
But.
One of his own within his man-made self.
*Time passes*
“Crap! Crap!”, I cursed as treasure hoarders corned me against the edge of a cliff. I took a quick peak at the fall gap and man; I was really NOT excited to possibly die. I scooched bit by bit as the treasure hoarders yelled obnoxiously, “just hand over the embroidered garments and anything valuable. We will let you go!”, the “leader” smiled at me. He looked to his gang chuckling. Yeah, right. I’m not dumb!
“Funny how you want me to strip in front of a group of disgusting lowlifes!”, I gagged. Ever so close to the edge as my breathing grew erratic. It’s either let these men degrade me and use me for their own inhumane pleasure…or…I jump.
“Just saying! If you jump, we will just snatch your possession from your body from the bottom dead…or here while you take your clothes off!”, the hoarders neared closer as I observed their hideous predatory gaze.
“The forest would be kinder to my body than you ever would!”, I huffed while I fell back as to what seemed like my demise. I could see the sheer horror on the treasure hoarder’s faces as I let my body go limp against gravity; come get your stupid valuables from my corpse then! I clenched my eyes shut and waited. Until, I heard shrieks as screams from the cliff edge I fell from. A bright flash of blue as well as a rough gust of wind that surged through me. I identified a silhouette reaching out from me as the mid-day sun surrounded their body. I closed my eyes again as the sun blinded me while this person’s hands clasped around my body. The stomach-churning feeling of gravity came to a gentle halt as two cold hands held me. One under my knees and one around my back. I wrapped my arms around their neck out of fear of falling.
A soft voice spoke, “I’m sorry for those who had hurt you. You’ll be alright”, I fluttered my eyes open. The wind still surging and the faint jingle of a bell of sorts; the smell of clean linen and faint cologne. A boy with indigo hair and matching colored eyes. Vibrant bold red eyeliner lining his observing eyes. Eccentric styled clothing with similar blue tones. He occupied an anemo vision; no wonder I felt the wind.
“who are you and why-?”, I asked as he let me down on the floor from the way he was carrying me. 
He chuckled mischievously, “you will remember soon and anyways. I was just repaying the favor”. This boy still held his hand out to me, “come on”, he tipped his hat. I was dumbstruck. Yet, why do I feel like I’ve seen him from somewhere.
My heart was beating loudly, and I could feel my ears flush. My mind wasn’t alerting me, and neither was my heart for sure.
I softly ran my hand into his own, he squeezed it immediately, “there we go, see, not that hard”.
“I…Have we met…?”, I paused, and he stared at me with an indescribable expression. Ease? Embarrassment? Tenderness? What was it? Either way, he is beautiful.
“Tch…such dumb questions. Yes, we have met before briefly”, he cocked his head to the side slightly and never once letting go of my hand. I giggled lightly and he murmured, “what’s so funny?”
“Nothing, I just feel happy to see you for some reason”, his cheeks were a tinge of pink as soon as I said that.
“I’m about to leave you here if you keep stalling!”, he grumbled as he tipped his hat to hide his face. “Okay Okay…I get it. Where to?”, I asked.
Nonetheless, I couldn’t deny there was a connection of sorts.
What did he mean by ‘repaying the favor’?
Ah, I should ask his name, shouldn’t I?
How odd, I swear I’ve seen him somewhere before.
_The end_
Let me know what I can improve on! Tysm for reading! I'm sorry if it wasn't super long!
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