#THIS IS SO ANGSTY
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summary:
AU where Killua, with a needle in his head, leaves Gon to die.
So Gon becomes a chimera ant.
#it is just a set up chapter BUT the fic is here :3#let's goooo!#hxh#hunter x hunter#killugon#killua zoldyck#gon freecs#this is so angsty#ant gon au#there is so much expectation for this au so ngl i am a bit aaaaaaaah
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Always - Part 6
Azriel x Reader
Summary: You and Azriel have been best friends for years after you joined the inner circle as the top healer in Velaris. But with Elain and Nesta’s recent arrival, Azriel has begun to ignore your friendship in favor of being together with Elain. You are heartbroken, and it is Starfall where you will be confined in the house of wind with Azriel and Elain. Everything will be okay though… right?
Warnings: Smut (Minors DNI, 18+), angst, straight up angst, cursing, first time writing Word count ~ 4.8k. Masterlist Part 7
A/N: Hello my lovely readers!!! Thank you so much for your patience and everlasting support. The end is fucking near!!!!! I think part 7 may be your last part followed with an epilogue. I really struggled to write the smut in this chapter, and its kinda shocking considering the amount of smut I read lmfao. But, we got through it. Step 1 studying is keeping me busy, so please send some positive vibes. I love your comments, reblogs, likes, and asks, so please please please keep them coming. I am in constant need of validation as a writer; any interaction means so much to me. I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I did, and as always (no pun intended), I hope it does the other parts justice.
Azriel shushes you, kissing away the tears that had rolled down your cheeks, “I will Y/N,” he whispers into his kisses. His scarred hands traveled up your waist from where he was straddling you, up to your hands that lay beside your head, fisting the silk sheets beneath. His fingers gently pull your grasp open before intertwining your hands together, his half-lidded gaze meets yours as he peers into your soul. The only sounds filling your bedroom are the sounds of your breath mixing with his. The only light in the room is coming from the fire cracking in the hearth, darkness swarms the room as his shadows cocoon you both into the bed. Impatience was growing steadily within you, you arched your back, bucking your hips against his, “Az- please,” but he only pressed further into you, stopping any movement. But you felt it, his hard length catching right where you needed him, his membranous wings flared out covering the entire bed. A whimper escaped you as your eyes fluttered shut, remembering the drunk conversations with Morr and Feyre about the correlation of wing span and a not so inconspicuous part of Illyrian males. “Patience dove, We have all the time in the world. You’re mine.”
You wanted to snark back at him. But you couldn't, not when the smell of his arousal overwhelmed every one of your senses. Gods, you wanted him desperate for you. You wanted him to be frenzied for you.
Finally, after what felt like centuries trapped beneath him in waiting, Azriel squeezed your hands thrice, “Open your eyes for me, sweetheart.” You forced your eyes open as he dropped his head into your neck, pressing rough kisses into your skin as his fingers moved to play with the waistband of your pants. He kept moving up and down, kissing and licking every inch of your skin, trying to find your most sensitive part that would cause you to shatter beneath him. Breathless. You were fucking breathless. You couldn’t breathe. Every part of you was consumed by him. And he was only fucking kissing your neck. But you never wanted him to stop. You wanted him to kiss you forever. You wanted him to love on you forever. He shuddered against you when he lapped at your skin, allowing himself to savor your taste. Your moan fused with your gasp right when he bit into that juncture between your neck and collarbone, arching your back, trying to egg him on. He shifted swiftly, focusing his efforts onto suckling at the tender spot, soothing it in apology as your skin darkened.
He slowly pulled away, like he was struggling to do so, like he wanted to continue devouring your neck, and turned his half lidded gaze to you, tugging at your pants, silently asking for permission. Puffs of breath between you intermingled as you leaned your head back into the soft pillow behind you, closing your eyes once again as you nodded lightly, the excitement, the anticipation of it all, overwhelming you. That's how it was with Az, overwhelming. Even when you were just friends, every part of him was all consuming. You could never get enough. Azriel, ever the inquisitive one, received your signal almost immediately, tugging your pants off in a smooth motion.
His breath caught, head falling into your shoulder as he caught sight of your throbbing sex. Every drop of pleasure drips down to your thighs and onto the bed. You shivered when he bit into your shoulder this time, hard, teeth leaving indents into the smooth skin. “Mother above,” he rasped out, “No panties sweetheart?” He let out a shaky breath, the scent of his arousal became much more potent in your bedroom, and he gripped your chin, pulling you forward, “Eyes open, Y/N.” An order from the spymaster that had your eyes shooting open. The tone in his voice to anyone else would have had them trembling at their knees, begging for mercy, but here, with you, that tone. That voice. It told you everything. It told you that he was losing control, quickly, and that he was desperately trying to get a handle on it.
You smirked up at him, finally having the upper hand. You didn’t need to respond, you had him just where you wanted him, just where you needed him. Every second that passed between you felt more urgent then the next. And he was going to give in. Give in to you.This patient act of the spymaster was just that, an act. Gods, it was practically his job to be patient, but you knew. You were seconds from pushing him over the edge, and you knew that when he would fall over, only carnal desire would be left in him. You hiked your legs onto his hip, giving him full view and access to your cunt. He sucked in a sharp breath as his digits dipped into your folds, stroking up to your clit, circling once, tightly, before pulling away, enjoying himself as he watched you respond to his touch. Gods, you could scream. Rumor has it Az was the darkest and the most relentless in his bedroom activities compared to his brothers. Cauldron boil you, his endless teasing was only proof. And you wanted it to stop. But you also wanted him to keep going, to see how far he could push you into depravity, as shameless as it sounded.
His grip on your chin turned your gaze away from him and towards his glistening fingers that he had lifted into view, soaked with your arousal as he brought them up to his lips, sucking off the juices as he whined out at your taste. “This all for me, Dove?”
He sounded… Gods, he sounded intoxicated. Intoxicated off you. You whimpered in response, nodding eagerly, trying to get him to touch you, to fuck you, anything as all the blood rushed down to where you ached. You flung your arms away from their resting place beside you, and reached down to tear his shirt off, desperate for more. Desperate for more contact. Desperate for more skin. Desperate for him. The spymaster’s teasing left you insatiable, you couldn't get enough, you could never get enough. Before you could lift his shirt up past his waist, his shadows gripped onto your wrists, pulling them away and locking them up above your head. Restraining you from another further movement.
The shadowsinger’s chest rose and fell with harsh breaths, as he tried to collect himself from your admission, his restraint completely lost. He tapped at your thighs, and unlatched your legs from his waist silently, fingers moving to grip your thighs as he lowered himself to face your sex, like he needed some kind of support to keep him from collapsing. He breathed in once, twice, hazel eyes rolling back at your scent, before blowing his exhale onto the sensitive skin causing you to writhe, “Az, please.” You didn’t know how much more waiting you could handle. You felt like you were going to explode. His eyes locked onto yours, the sudden voice knocking him out of his stupor. His swollen lips lifted into a smirk at you, “So needy for me, dove,” before he latched onto your core and moaned into you.
You jerked against his lips, panting out his name, trying to squeeze your legs shut at the sudden electrifying sensation. You almost fell apart right then and there, you whimpered at him, “Fuck baby.” His fingers clenched at your thighs, his grip tight enough to leave light bruising for you to deal with in the morning, and his shadows wrapped around your ankles, pulling you apart to hold you open for him to feast upon. He gave you a long broad stroke through your folds before he swirled his tongue around your clit, over and over and over and over again. He pulled back for just a second to blow a whisper of air on it, the cool air caused your entire body to shudder, before going back in to lick, suck, kiss at the flesh. His scarred digits brushed against your opening, circling it a couple of times as his tongue flicked his name onto your mound before pushing in.
Your jaw dropped, as he stroked one finger, and then two, and then three, into your silky inner walls. Pounding his fingers in and out, in and out, with no mercy. His fingers curved and hit the spongy part of your inner wall spontaneously, a strangled noise left you as he adjusted his focus onto rubbing right there. He huskily purred into you, “taste so good f’me sweetheart.” Your cunt clamped down at his words, trying to keep him inside, begging him to keep going, begging him to never stop.
Your heart was racing out of your chest, every part of you was burning from the heat, as you felt your core tighten. The coiling tension in your abdomen was building at a steady pace. You were trembling, nerves on fire, his name coming out in gasps. Only his name and nothing else, nothing could come to mind. “Cum for me, dove.” His command was so strong. So powerful. “Cum for me,” he groaned again. Your eyes squeezed shut, and a golden thread snapped into place, as the tension in you broke, choked sobs leaving your lips, waves of pleasure racked your entire shaking body, as your walls began to spasm and contract around his fingers.
Pleasure. Jaw dropping pleasure. Mind-empty pleasure. Tears slipping down your cheeks pleasure. Colors bursting around you pleasure. Unimaginable pleasure. Coursing through you. Coursing through that thread, down to the other end. Sinking to your pores. Slipping into the very cells that make you up. You couldn’t think. Nothing had settled in. Only Az. Everything that ever was, everything that is, everything that ever will be is him. Is the spymaster. Is the shadowsinger. Is Azriel.
The aftershock rocked your body as you slumped over, trying to catch your breath for the first time in what felt like hours, Azriel’s whispers came to the forefront of your mind, “So good for me, sweetheart,” dulling out any attention to the recent thread that had appeared within you. He continued as he pulled his fingers out of you tenderly, “You did so good for me, I’m so proud of you.” He slowly kneaded at your thighs, kissing gently into the taut skin trying to get you to relax. His shadows release you from where you were held, as you continue to pant from the aftermath. Your eyes stayed shut, trying to focus on the sound of your voice when it hit you.
The thread. The fucking thread. You tried to stay calm, not wanting to give anything away to Azriel. You gave a slow tug at the thread, expecting for nothing to come back, but to confirm that it was there. That you were not imagining it. Because if you were imagining it… well you don’t think you could handle that. What you weren’t expecting was the yank back, the pleasure and happiness and worry streaming down back at you. What you weren't expecting was the silent words that Azriel mouthed into your skin, “I love you mate.”
You barely heard it, locked into focus on the bond that had appeared at your climax. He mouthed it into your skin so quietly, you literally almost entirely missed it in the haze of it all. But words like that, they weren’t ones to be missed. They weren’t ones to be ignored. No. Those words were more. They were more than that. They- They rung. They rung in your head. They rung loud as your body froze. Ice water poured over you, as if a bucket of it had been flung onto you by Azriel himself. And suddenly, your breathlessness wasn’t from pleasure anymore, but from confusion. Any remaining bits of pleasure in your body were flung out by the words, replaced by the strain of trying to comprehend. Trying to comprehend the words he had just uttered. Trying to comprehend that your mating bond had snapped. Trying to comprehend that Azriel had felt it and tugged back. Azriel had tensed with you at the realization of what he had just admitted. Words that he probably never meant to slip out. His shadows suddenly flung around, the cool darkness of them covered him up as if he was trying to hide himself from you.
It felt as though you had been stung by him. You shoved him off of you, your eyes darting back and forth between his pleading ones, as you scrambled to pull the comforter that had been shoved aside by your earlier activities to cover yourself. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know what to say. After all this time, the words that you had craved for, the words that you had prayed for day in and day out, left you feeling stung. “What the fuck did you just say?” you blurted out. You couldn’t understand. You didn’t understand. You wanted to make sure you heard correctly, even though you were one hundred and ten percent sure of the words he had just uttered into your thigh.
“Y/N,” Azriel's voice croaked as he murmured out your name, he reached out to touch you? Hold you? But your body jerked back. You didn’t want him to hold you. Not until he explained himself. Not until he told you what was going on. Not until he… well… you didn’t even know. The thought of him holding you right now made your skin itch, only seconds ago your body was shattered beneath him in pleasure, and now? Now, you couldn’t even think of that. Now, all the pain from this past week and month was coursing through you, through your bond, straight into him. His face fell at the sensation, and he dropped his arm back to his side, clenching his fists as he did so, staring at them with disgust. You repeated yourself again, voice louder, almost hysterical this time.
His eyes shut tightly, and he took a couple of breaths before he throatily replied, “I love you Y/N. And I am your mate. And you are mine.” The last bit was so quiet, it muddled with the crackling of the embers and wood in the fireplace. You were completely and utterly stunned. This was not how you expected for your night to go. This was not how you expected for all this to go down. In fact, you had almost thought to yourself a couple of different times that any feelings you had towards Az, were unrequited. Especially when Elain had come into the picture. The thought of Elain brought on a whole shitload of questions to your attention.
Exhaustion threatened you, it made you want to collapse and tell Azriel to leave. Your heart had fallen deep in your chest, the knot in your throat paralyzed you. But you knew, gods you knew, the only way you and Az were going to get through this, was to talk it out right now. Selfishly, you didn’t want to. You wanted to go back and rewind time to a couple minutes ago and live in it forever, and forget that this had ever happened. You wanted to stop this moment from continuing because you were scared, and you were angry. The flames of anger towards Azriel shot out, dread filled you because now everything that had happened these past few months was made worse.
The thought of not knowing why Azriel pushed you away had become a thousand times heavier in your chest, he had known you were mates. He had known you were mates, and yet he still pushed you away. You hissed out, trying to maintain your composure, trying to not let him see how much this was effecting you, trying to build distance between you and on top of that a wall to separate you two, “How fucking long have you known?” Any intimacy that you had held for him during this night, was lost into the darkness of his shadows. You silently hoped that the bond had just snapped for him as well, but his reactions to your anger and sadness were only pointing you in the other direction. His wings tucked tightly into his back, he almost cowered at your tone and hesitated, “I’ve known since-,” you interrupted him, throwing any mental shields up, trying to block him out from the bond, and already impatient with his slowed response time, “Since when Spymaster?” He flinched at the name as though he hated hearing you call him that, a pained whimper left his lips at you distancing yourself from him, “A little before under the mountain.”
Hell had fucking frozen over. You laughed breathlessly in shock, it wasn’t funny. No, this was the most confused you had ever been. Since before Amarantha’s reign? That had been more than half a century ago. A mix of emotions were flooding through you, as you tried to process what Azriel was saying. A mix of happiness because mother above, how you were in love with Azriel words could not describe, but also pain because of the loss of time you could’ve shared together, pain because of his recent acts of pushing you away, pain because he had hid this from you, confusion as to why he hid this from you.
Why hadn’t he said anything? In all your years of knowing him, Azriel was the kind of male who obsessed after mating bonds. He had told you himself, many different times: whenever he was drunk, whenever he was sober, whenever he was jealous of his brother's bonds, how he wished and prayed for a mate. How he wished and prayed for his equal. How he would adore her and love her. “Even if she’s a fucking worm, Y/N,” he would reply, grinning at your ridiculous questions. Was he upset or disappointed by our match? Was he going to reject you for Elain? Was he ashamed? The ugly doubts all reared its head at you. All of your doubts. All the devastating emotions you had felt in the past couple of months, slammed back into you.
You couldn’t think straight, all these thoughts and doubts were overwhelming with the pain. And you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t deal with it any longer. It was stifling. “Were you even going to tell me before you slept with me?” The question was spit out, the knot in your throat was nearly choking you. You didn’t let him respond, “Please get out of my home Azriel.” You were the kind of person who said things they didn’t mean out of anger. And you were sure that if he stayed in your presence any longer, those words would come tumbling out. And there would be no way to fix the already existing damage. The damage that he had fucking done on what was supposed to be a beautiful and sacred bond.
His gaze snapped to yours, tears were streaming down his cheeks as his face twisted in agony. You needed to come to terms with everything. Come to terms with the fact that he hid this bond, what was supposed to be a beautiful and happy thing, from you. Come to terms with the fact that he had pushed you away for months, knowing that you had been bonded with him. Come to terms that he might want to reject this bond, this beautiful, wonderful bond that you had prayed for. The thought made you shudder, heart dropping even further than it already had, but you had to come to grips with reality. Why else would he push you away? Why else would he focus so much of his time and attention on Elain, rather than focus on you and building your bond? None of it made sense.
Azriel jostled, pulling you away from your thoughts, as though he could hear them and was hurting at them, he leaned towards you and grabbed onto your hands tightly, squeezing thrice.“No, no, no. Please Y/N. I am not letting you do this again. I am not letting you shove me out-”
“You pushed me away Azriel,” you screamed with only venom in your voice, hysteria seeding through every part of you as you mentally placed bricks between you and him, blocking him off from reaching you through the bond. You didn’t know if you wanted him to remove his hands and never let him close again, or if you wanted him to hold on and let his warmth seep into your freezing flesh. You continued, “Even now, even after everything, you still don’t see where you went wrong, Az.” Panic oozed from him, draining the scent of arousal from your room, the bitter scent of his fear surrounding you. His eyes tried frantically to meet yours, begging you to look at him, begging you to see him. But you had seen him. For several months. As he ignored you. As he let you believe your friendship meant nothing to him. As he let you believe that you were being replaced.
Even when Azriel was obsessed with Morr, he never let you doubt your place in his life. He was always there with you. He was always so reassuring of your presence, always so wanting of you. Anytime you were busy with patients, he would wait, hours upon hours, for the chance to speak with you. Anytime you were busy with paperwork, he would rush to help you so he could get even the slightest bit of your attention. And you could handle that. Because you loved him, and even though he longed after another, a small part of you knew that he loved you. Even if his love was platonic, it was enough. But with Elain, Gods you didn’t want to go through this again. You didn’t want to think about it again, you had been mulling over it for the past week, for the past couple of months, and you were sick of it.
His mouth dropped open before snapping shut, several times, trying to let the words spill out, but all of them seemed to be stuck on the tip of his tongue. You had never seen Azriel so speechless, so stressed. Every part of him, the tight wings, his straightened back, his scarred hands gripping tightly onto yours, his shadows darting around the room screeching at him to say something, anything to rectify the situation pointed towards his distress. Part of you felt sorry for him, but you couldn’t let your love for him, your devotion to him, stop you from knowing the truth. The truth about why he had hidden this from you and had acted the way he had. Even if Azriel was your mate, you knew that it is important that you didn’t let him treat you this way, didn’t let him get away with what he had been doing. Because best friends don’t do that to each other. Mates don't do that to each other.
You rambled out your sorrow, filling the silence between you, “Azriel, I can’t. I can’t do this if you don’t see what you did to me. You hurt me, to the point where I couldn’t breathe for a week. To the point where I couldn’t get myself out of bed for a week. I deserve better than that. And… and I think you know that. And to now hear that you knew? You have known all this time, that we were mates, that you could feel my pain and had known about it. So I guess… I guess I don’t understand what it is that you were trying to do. I-... I don’t understand. I don’t understand you, Az.” You feel broken. You didn't want to admit it, but even if Az gave you an amazing apology or explanation for the way he had acted, you weren’t sure it would be enough… enough for you to move on from this. You didn’t know how you were going to come back from this. How you both were going to come back from this. “All I know for certain Az, is that I would’ve never done this to you. Never.” Your voice broke as you leaned back to stare at him, listening to what he has to say, giving him the chance to speak.
He brought his hands to yank at his hair, his eyes were squeezed shut as tears slid down his cheeks, uncontrollable sobs escaping him, racking his chest. Ebbs of his regret reached you through the bond despite the mental block you had set up, which only meant the force of his regret was all consuming to him. His shadows swarmed you, trying to pull you in closer to their master, their cool touch leaving goosebumps on your naked skin. He took deep breaths as he tried to block out the ache in his chest, to concentrate on finding the right words to tell you everything that he had been thinking this past week, these past months, this half century he had lived in silence.
At this point, you desperately wanted him to defend himself, you wanted him to explain, you wanted him to take the pain away, you wanted him to show he adores and loves you, prove he wants you. Because you were scared he didn’t. His earlier confession meant nothing in the face of your new reality you were coming to grips with.
You had left the ball in his court. And you both knew that. You both also knew that this was the moment, the defining moment which would decide whether or not you would even allow the chance for Azriel to make up for his mistakes. He knew that this would be the moment you would decide if your relationship would move forward, or if you were going to let him go. And cauldron boil him alive for all he cares, he never wants you to let him go. He would rather burn alive a hundred times, heal over and over, just to be burnt alive again, knowing the pain already, his scarred hands bearing the evidence, rather than you letting him go, rather than you moving on however undeserving he is to have you, rather than you rejecting the bond.
The tears continued to streak down his face, he gasped out in between his sobs, “Please Y/N. I am begging you, if you want I'll get on my knees. I promise you one hundred percent honesty, no lies, no deception, only the truth. Just… just don’t let this be the way we end tonight. Please. Please.” He reached his hand out again, hoping, praying on all the gods in the stars, on the mother above, on the cauldron, on whatever existed out there he didn’t know of, that you would hold onto it, that you would give him some semblance of reassurance that you would listen he knew he didn't deserve.
And your traitorous hands reach out on their own volition to latch on, squeezing tight, trying to calm him, trying to reassure him, your love for him going beyond any description. “Okay,” you whispered out knowing he would hear you over his sobs. You weren’t sure that his explanation would be enough. But you wanted to know. You wanted to hear what he had to say. A big part of you that you buried deep within you wanted to forgive him. The feeling of hope snaked through you, as you prepared to listen to him. This time, without any interruption, without any judgment.
He shuddered in a heavy breath, silencing his sobs. He had one chance to make this right, and he knew his fate was resting on his shoulders. “I want to start off by saying, I am sorry Y/N. I am so unbelievable and unimaginably sorry. I cannot express enough how sorry I am, but if you give me the chance, I will show you, every day, for the rest of our lives how sorry I am. I mean… I-,” he paused, and you squeezed his hand again, urging him to continue, “I want you to know that you have a choice here. You have a choice to accept the bond or reject the bond.” He shuddered as he whispered it out into existence, “I promise I won’t get in the way of whatever decision you want to make, and I promise to accept it, no matter the outcome. I… I don’t know where to begin.” His hazel eyes lifted to yours, pleading, he was floundering in fear. Tears brimmed at your eyes, you squeezed his hand once more, “Start at the beginning Az.”
Taglist: @paasrin @positivewitch @fieldofdaisiies @judig92 @sv0430 @highlady-ofillyria @wrensical003 @brekkershadowsinger @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @mrs-azriel @cityofidek @nova-stardragon @thewarriormoon @ilovespideyyy @azzydaddy @bookish-dream @nobody00sthings @marigold-morelli @solossweater @rubygirly @hanasakr @ellievickstar @shadowcrowsworld @lucyysthings @cameronsails @peachycandy10 @bruhhvv @flyingsquidsgrowwings-blog @adreamerforthestars @lahoete @mis-lil-red @his-sweet-nightmare @esposadomd @blurredlamplight @elizarikaallen @tiffthebookworm @valeridarkness @wifeofcamillamacaulay @everyonehatescarmen @grungy-blue-hipster
(Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist!)
#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel#smut#azriel smut#THIS IS SO ANGSTY#acotar fanfic#azriel fanfic#reader insert#rhysand acotar#pro rhysand#pro feyre#pro nesta#feyre acotar#nesta acotar#morrigan acotar#pro morrigan#i def procastinated writing this because I didn't think it would be good#I def misspelled procastinated#i hate spelling#acotar#i love azriel#i hate him a little rn#but i promise he will explain#he will be grovelling#angst
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This art by the supervisor of the NagiReo Episode Nagi Movie is insane
NagiReo deniers, I dare you to come at me.
This is so canon, Kaneshiro told me.
Look at them, OH MY GODDDD. The sexual tension is just emanating from the screen. The hesitant hand touch… the way they’re looking at each other.
I would honestly be much more surprised if NagiReo didn’t end up being canon than if it did.
I can’t wait to see this angst on a big screen (if it airs in cinemas in countries other than Japan)
When this movie comes out, you guys are gonna be sick of me 🤣 (just like when the U-20 inevitably comes out)
#Episode Nagi#Episode Nagi movie#Nagi seishiro#nagi#reo#Mikage reo#bllk#blue lock#NagiReo#This is so angsty#Just imagine going into the theatre thinking you’re just gonna watch a movie about a character you really like#Then when you get in there it’s just a shoujo love story#HELPPP MEEE I’m going feral over this
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Oooh but can you imagine!!
If Alec had being able to portal since he was a child, but with no control over it. And he would always, always portals to Magnus unconsciously, especially when in distress, hurt or just really sad after his parents mistreated him. And while asleep, he would end up appearing next to Magnus, desperate for cuddles and comfort. The next day he wouldn't remember, only thinking he was dreaming. But Magnus knows.
And his heart breaks every. damn. time
Anon, how dare. How DARE you send me this ask, I need this so much. I just need the angst and cute of it because can you imagine the pain Magnus might feel each time it happens? Especially because Magnus would be able to feel Alec's distress through their bond even while baby!Alec is asleep. He would hate himself so much each time he portals baby!Alec back before he wakes up. He would blame himself even more with every new accidental baby!Alec portal because he chose to send him back and just - I neeeeeed.
#This is so angsty#and yet adorable#and help#people are giving me far too adorable asks#and it makes me want to write them#I ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY BUNNIES#but watch me end up writing this any way#even though it wouldn't fit in GWSR from a continuity and logic stand of point#foodsies rambles#mostly in the tags
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The man was an imposing figure that loomed in her doorway, silhouetted in red light. Smoke billowed like a warning behind him.
“Why are you here?” She signed, hands quivering so hard she wondered whether the words came out clear.
The man only tilted his head, as if trying to decipher the words. Perhaps he couldn’t speak sign language at all. In a clear, very human and not automated voice, he said, “Come on. You should leave before reinforcement comes.”
The man was something from a complete other world—not one of white walls and orderly schedules and chilling experiments, but one of endless forest and devastating virus and calamity.
She wasn’t sure which sounded worse.
*
Or: On a post-apocalyptic island destroyed by a virus, five children have been taken by the Federation to develop a cure. When they escape and meet a strange man living on the edge of town, he must take care of the kids, keeping them safe from the government that desperately wants them back.
Or, or: Wilbur suddenly acquires five runaway children in the aftermath of an apocalypse.
**
LINK TO MY CURRENT QSMP APOCALYPSE AU :) featuring a lot of hurt/comfort. currently the first 8 chapters are out and i update at least once a week!
#qsmp#qsmp fanfic#qsmp fic#qsmp tallulah#my writing#this is so angsty#qsmp wilbur#qsmp phil#qsmp chayanne#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp dapper#qsmp pomme#qsmp au#kids who lived#kwl
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Here, have an angsty little prompt:
"Hey, hey, no- don't close your eyes, you've got to stay with me."
We're getting some Onnie angst! Takes place pretty soon after Onnie was bound to the Negative Speed Force, before they really learned how to control their powers.
CW: Major character death
"You need to stay away from me, Jason." Onnie wrung their hands behind their back, keeping a neutral, unbothered look on her face. "It's not safe for you. One of these days, you're going to get hurt."
"You're my best friend. I don't understand." Jay shook his head, clearly overwhelmed by what Onnie was saying.
"I've become more powerful than you could understand, but with that power comes some things that are out of my control." Onnie replied.
"Cut the crap!" Jay snapped. "You know I see straight through that bullshit, it doesn't work on me. Please, just tell me what's going on, and maybe I can help you."
"I can't explain right now, and it's better if you don't know." Onnie shook her head. "What I can tell you is that if you keep trying to reach out to me, you're going to get hurt, or worse. You have to stay away from me for your own good.
"What- no! I can't do that!" Jay argued. "We've been friends since before we even knew how to read. I can't just throw that all away."
"Please. You're the last good thing I have in my life. I can't let something happen to you." Onnie pleaded, forcing down the wave of emotion that they knew would cause them to lose control. She couldn't do that. Not in front of Jay. "Stop looking for me. Stop trying to contact me. If you know what's good for you, stay the fuck away from me, or else you're going to die. Understood?"
"Listen, please-" Jay took a step towards Onnie. Immediately, she reacted, pulling away from him, panic in her eyes. "You're terrified of me, aren't you?"
"No, no, I'm not!" Onnie felt her power blaze to life under her skin. What happened next was beyond her control. She backed into the shadows, terrified of her best friend seeing what she really was. "Just go, okay?"
"Onnie-"
"Please don't look at me." Onnie hunched over, wrapping their arms around their chest. She could feel her body shifting against her will, the entity inside her rearing its ugly head once again. "I don't want you to see me like this."
"I'm not afraid of you." Jay said, trying to reach Onnie. "Come into the light."
"Look at me." Onnie took a step forward and gestured to themself. "I'm a monster."
"You're beautiful. Don't talk about my best friend like that." Jay reached out and touched Onnie's wrist, immediately realizing his mistakes when the red in her pitch-black eyes contracted to a pinprick, terror evident on her face.
"Don't touch me!" Onnie screamed, a blast of power shooting out from her unconsciously. The sound of broken glass broke them out of their panic, fear turning to horror when they turned around. Jay was gone, a shattered window with blood on broken glass where he had been standing.
"Jason!" Onnie rushed over to the window, Jay's broken body sprawled on the concrete below. She jumped down after him, taking his head into her lap.
"I can't move." Jay whispered. "I can't feel my body."
"No, no, I didn't mean to." Onnie whispered, holding Jay close to her. "You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna take you to the hospital. You'll be fine. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't want this to happen."
"It's okay." Jay managed half a smile, and coughed, blood bubbling up from the corners of his lips. "I know."
"Come on, we're gonna get you to the hospital." Onnie reached to loop their arms under Jay's body. "You're gonna be okay."
"No, m'not." Jay's words were slurred, his eyes glassy. "I think I'm dyin'."
"No, you're not. You're gonna be fine." Onnie whispered to their best friend. "Hey, hey, no- don't close your eyes, you've got to stay with me."
"It's okay." Jay whispered, before his breathing stopped completely. Onnie's heart seemed to drop in their chest.
I killed him. I killed my best friend. I'm a murderer.
Pressing a final kiss to Jay's forehead, Onnie stood up. They couldn't be tied to the murder, not now. Eobard would never forgive her, not when he was this close. In a panicked daze, she dashed off. She ran, and she ran, until finally, she reached a place that she could be alone. Somewhere not even Eobard would bother to look for them, where they could hide in plain sight- the top of the STAR Labs spire overlooking the water.
Onnie sat on the cold steel, wrapping their arms around their knees. What happened tonight couldn't happen again, and she had to make sure of that.
Maybe Eobard was right. I am a god, and attachment to lower beings will bring nothing but pain, for myself and for any mortal who I bother to meddle with.
#this is so angsty#i'm sorry in advance#oc shit#revan writes#onnie thawne#jay barron (e-2022)#ask revan#practically-an-x-man
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reichenbach hell (a poem)
[A/N: apparently when i am down i write really bad, really angsty poetry now]
TW: reichenbach fall/suicide (obviously)
he was crying
crying out loud
usually he was too proud
to cry like this
holding back sobs with his fist
but right now it didn't matter anymore
he had never felt this shattered before
invisible claws - they reached
for him
inaudible screams - they screached
inside of him
and he roared and he wept and he cried
for that one friend
that was more than his best friend
that had died
it was sherlock who fell
but john is the one in hell
---
apparently i always let john suffer??? sorry baby </3
tagging because i can: (tell me if you wanna be added/removed or if i forgot you!) @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @boredsushi @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @7arantellgrrl @ssmeowl123 @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @pansherlock @the-smol-bean-libby-blog @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @almosttinycowboy @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale
#turtely writes#gosh i am sorry#this is so angsty#johnlock poem#johnlock poetry#or sth like that#you don't even wanna know how much stuff like this i have going in my notes#the reichenbach fall#trf#sherlock x john#johnlock#john x sherlock#sherlock#bbc shelrock#john watson#sherlock holmes
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angsty food for thought: your man is MIA. you find out when one of the 141 comes to your house to break the news to you. you fall to your knees and start crying, letting out sobs and screams. the 141 member there comforts you, but you end up pushing them away. you make them leave your house, the house where your husband is supposed to be. the house where your kids were supposed to grow up in. the house where you were supposed to live the rest of your life, greying and fat and old with the love of your life. you crawl into your shared bed wearing his shirt, hoping, praying, to whatever Gods there are that he returns. that you don’t have to live this life without him. the future is an uncertain thing, and not knowing whether or not you’ll be reunited is something that kills the deepest part of your soul.
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“Young Master Seo, may I ask you something that has been bothering me?”
“What is it?”
“You said that you saw an illusion of me. What did that illusion say?”
“She said that she was in love with me.”
“What?”
“Why are you so surprised? You said that quite often.”
“Well, that was because...”
“Was it really all a lie?”
#This is so angsty#Yes#alchemy of souls#alchemy of souls ep 9#hwang minhyun#jung so min#mudeok#seo yul#kdrama#kdrama edit#kdrama gif#netflix#netflix kdrama
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the sex to try to conceive would be so terribly tragic it’s making me tear up just thinking about it 😭 mikasa so clingy and weepy because it’s the only time where she’s able to allow herself emotional release vs eren who’s doing everything he can to please her to give her what she wants anything to make her happy after the shit he pulled.
yeah fuck, it’s just tears all around. i think eren would blow his fuse sooner rather than later bc he knows it’s only hurting her more. he wants to make her happy but he’s also so mad— mad at himself and mad at her for being this way, like an open, smarting wound that keeps getting bruised over and over again. he has no place to say it after what he did but, “… why are you doing this?”
Vacant eyes look back at him. The lack of emotion in them only made him angrier. “Just tell me what’s on your mind, Mikasa. Call me names. Tell me I’m the worst person in the world.” His voice cracks. “Just don’t… do this. It feels like you’re slipping away from me, and I can’t bear it.”
Maybe she’d leave the house, turning away from Eren because she couldn’t bear it either. Eren always expects so much from her, expects her to tell him her feelings, expects her to do things his way— but that’s not who she is. But who is she? Of late, she’s been trying so hard to hold herself together, she hasn’t realised that the cracks that started that awful day had spread like vines across her entire being, threatening to split her into so many tiny pieces… like dust, like nothing.
And when the first sob rips through her throat, when she’s already out the door, gripping the railing that protected her from falling out to sea, she feels herself crumbling, the person she tried to protect disintegrating to the ground.
Eventually she goes back; She walks in to find Eren pacing holes in their hardwood floor. A frenzy in his green eyes that ebbs when he finally sees her. “Mikasa,” he says. Eren always managed to say so much when he said her name. Concern, anger, fear, perhaps. It feels like home.
But for the first time ever, free of the pieces of herself and the glue that she’d poured over it, she recognises that even if it feels like home, it’s a home that no longer feels safe to her, drenched in ugly feelings of mistrust and lack of self-worth, and it all came from him. The man she’d loved her entire life.
Eren is conflicted— he doesn’t know whether to run to her and crush her in his arms, or to give her space bc she obviously needs it, so he does an awkward thing where he reaches out for her hand, cold from the wind.
“When you left, I—“
“I felt free.” Her voice sounds foreign in the room. Like honesty that had not echoed in those halls for so long.
His fingers slip out of hers. There are storms in his eyes, words heavy on his tongue. But maybe Mikasa will say more. Maybe she will finally say something.
“You want me to tell you what’s on my mind?”
He nods.
“If l slept with another man, what would be on your mind, Eren?”
It’s not something easy to imagine, the conjured sight makes him feel sick to his stomach.
“Is that what this is then, you want some kind of revenge?“
Mikasa laughs. A frustrated, broken, empty sound. ��I feel like you don’t even know me anymore.”
“Maybe I don’t, Mikasa,” Eren says desperately. “I’m not a mind reader. You feel so distant from me. You look my Mikasa and you feel like my Mikasa, but I don’t know who you are anymore, because you won’t tell me. You won’t let me inside anymore, and maybe that’s my own fault.”
His lips are worn and bitten but he continues. “I fucked up, and I don’t deserve another chance. I don’t deserve to know you anymore, I don’t deserve that privilege. But you won’t even tell me that, and” —
His voice cracks with emotion. “I want to fix this so bad, I want to be good to you, Mikasa. But I don’t know how. And you won’t tell me. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I put you in this position and I keep asking for more, but please if you still want me, please let me in.”
“There was a time,” he grins weakly, “when you’d have whacked me on the head for being an idiot, and told me how to do things right. D’you remember that, Mikasa?”
“I should have grown up by now, but maybe I haven’t. Maybe that’s all your husband is; an overgrown child, but please tell me how to make it right. Because I need you.”
Mikasa’s eyes are heavy with unshed tears. “You always do this,” she says shakily. “You have so many feelings. So many needs.” Then quieter, “I feel like there’s no space for mine.”
“I’ll make space for it,” he says fiercely. He points his finger to his chest, not caring if it looks silly. “There’s so much space in here, and I will treasure them, I swear. If you let me. Please, Mikasa, you have to let me.”
And after fighting what looks like a war inside of herself, she comes to him. Places her head on his chest and lets him wrap his arms around her, and listens to the quickness of his heartbeat as he promises her he’ll take care of her.
“I thought about leaving, you know,” she says softly, into his shirt. It was wet from her tears. She can feel him stiffen. But he doesn’t loosen his hold around her
He tries to sound measured when he asks, “Why didn’t you?”
“Don’t you want to know why I wanted to leave?”
He holds his tongue, makes space for her feelings. Kills his assumptions. “Tell me.” Tell me everything.
“Because I couldn’t bear to stay in a place that kept reminding me I wasn’t enough for you.”
“Mikasa” —
“You sought someone else out and brought her to our bed, Eren.” And despite herself, another fat tear rolls down her cheek. “You fucked her to feel better, maybe? Doesn’t matter, I wasn’t enough.”
He hates hearing these words from her, they twist inside of him like a knife, but he doesn’t stop her. Because he promised. “But I didn’t leave. Because I wasn’t enough.”
“Wasn’t enough to be yours, wasn’t enough to be alone. I wasn’t enough of me, Eren, do you understand what I mean?”
She looks up into his anguished, verdant eyes. So full of fire and feeling, that obviously he would never understand. “I don’t know who I am, without you, Eren.” And she knows even as she says it, that Eren would not understand. “I’m not like you, Eren. I can’t leave, and still feel whole.”
“It’s not true, Mikasa,” he says. And Mikasa knows he’s just saying it because he cannot fathom, because he’s in denial.
“You’ll never be able to see yourself the way I do. The way other people do. The way other people look up to you. You could leave me and thrive.” He laughs bitterly. “It terrifies me. You could leave me and be so much better off without me. Maybe you’d find someone else who isn’t such a colossal fuck up. Maybe you don’t even need anybody. Because you— you’re so good, you don’t see it.”
#oh my god what the fuck I never posted this#this is so angsty#i need to find a link to the prev ask#eremika#anonymous conversations
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Angst sentences from my Dys/Amp (OC) drabble that I ADORE
"What was once beautiful words and a promise of "friends forever," left a grotesque feeling on Amphibian's tongue, like he had spoken something taboo."
"....their own yearnings to belong that it blossomed into this beautifully hideous divide that tore them apart."
"Judgement lapsed and heart removed,"
"...and all he can do is nod his head in a solemn greeting that speaks a million of the wrong words."
#this is so angsty#this is literally my intro piece to my oc#dysthymia exocolonist#iwatex#teenage exocolonist#amphibian/dys#amp/dys#dys#they were in love#not anymore#lovers to strangers#drifted apart#romance angst#one shots#drabbles#quotes#angst romance#romance angst quotes#angst quotes#angst sentences#this is literally oc x canon#oc x canon#oc/canon
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running to make a chenford/buddie parallel set that i meant to prep earlier
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Evil Uno ft Dark Order + @screenshotsofdespair
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HI UM ive been inactive for a few days becaausee i was working on this silly little comic about these guys !!!!! and im really happy about it :-DDD
small context they are all nutcrackers possessed by people who died, and konstance and hansel died in a war specifically, somewhere in thw 1800's, with hansel being the field doctor
ALSO TW for: implied death (like a flashback type thing) n sad sappy stuff um
(H): that voice...
(H): Konstance?
(...)
(K):Hansel? is that you?
(H): oh- god-
(H): im so sorry.
(K): Hansel- its okay.
(K): if anything- *i* should apologise for not being able to protect you.
(H): no- its my fault. i failed to save you.
(K): Hans, we couldnt have predicted it.
(K): besides, im not mad at you.
(K): im glad i even got to see you again.
(K): we both screwed up.
(H): yeah..
(End :,>)
#original character#my comic#sad ass toys#Konstance (oc)#Hansel (oc)#this is so angsty#but im happy with it tbh!!!!
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.
I started out this 5+1 fic with the intention of making a cute happy aelswith x alfred fic.
But it is not happy and not even really aelswith x alfred. This is just sad aelswith hours.
It is just depressing and angsty :’))))))
#I’m making myself sad#this is so angsty#why did I do this to myself#aelswith is so sad :((((((#like majorly sad
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im coming back to this site yeey
this is the Italy of an AU that I plan to publish in Wattpas and AO3, for the moment it will only be in Spanish, if I see the necessary support or if someone asks to translate it into another language, I will do it :D
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