#THEY RLY JUST TAKE A PIECE OF U WHEN THEY LEAVE HUH
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****TR1GGER WARNING: M3tH!!!!!!***
itz 2023, Im a widdle homosexually homoAF n tried to explain masturbation in English to a French gurl at melting point n due to language barrier she didnt know what “clitoris” or “fingering” meant but as tha clock strikes midnight i asked her iF she wanted 2 make out anywey N she said “Yes” in YOLO. . speakinG of melTing point …… i sTumblEd / limPt in cuz i wuz a L@mb K3bobb the nite b4 n had a fuck machine in my poonani hole. 0/10 starz but 1 more thing oFf buCket List CHECKKKKKED OFF..!!!!! :-] <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 alSo bouncers l3T m3h n fwendzz get in fo fReE cuz we were hot n sexy n famous .
SoOooOo i Got h1Gh n D3LetEd 9 of my tumblrs i’ve had since damn near wheN i Wuz 14 n I’ve been punishing mYselF by not blogging even when i rly rly rly Rly Want 2 n idk i jus hav 2 rememeberr ive lost so many journals/lil notes n poems i’ve written n tucked in notebooks n let them fall to the floor in hopes tht strangers will find them n feel inspired.. I feel lik it’s kinda lik how i have found so many poems in passing like walking places like on the floor (one time walking in east LA i found a note ab someone’s dreams and like exploring astral planes) n the time i found someone’s cd collection in the trash n it had a bunch of personalized cds burned “4 hayley” n the time i found a bunch of poetry books in a suitcase randomly on the st . My words will never leave me if i can’t read them all the time they r inside me and tht makes me nvr wanna destroy my brain or body tht helps me remember n keep all of these things that eternally exist . Memories n love r the realest things we kno or will ever find .
Butt it’s still new yrs n yr seeing ur friendzz take off their sunglasses off n their dialted eyes for the first time ever ever n yr reminded the sunglasses in tha club hide @LL the shame so keep wearing dem . We may or may not hav dropped Acid n ended up getting lost in the dirty warehouse rave n sharing one bathroom stall with 5 people , one girl who was weird n acted like she didn’t share blow w one of us at Bossa the other nite n acted weird and another kept asking if i was an aquarius or scorpio . Bitch huh ?!
tha full Moon In cancer got meh feelin PISSSSST more than emotional . butt yr leaving nowiezz w yr friendzz to go to aftiez n we r all holding hands running to the Karr n howling at tha moon lik wolves . n it feelss surreall n we say we r sentient beings made 4 this . n we agree we r charging our energies , our souls under the glare of the circular Cheese ball above Us in the polluted niTecore sky.
unlock it Lock iT L0cK it L0Ck iT L0CK Itt by charliXXX got me feelin EMOTIONAL!!!!!!1 idgaF if ppl d0nT rly understand cUz iM complex n this street adderal iVe been buying (Kinda m3Thy) . i wrote a poem ab LUV :-3 again cuz of it .
“hold my hand until it breaks
take my heart to wound
til it shatters
in a million
t
i
n
y
shard - l i k w
pieces
and i’ll pick them up
one
by
one
just so u could find
yourself inside “
i kno is i wuz considering singing BIPP by sophie at heaven karaoke 2 sound lik The embodiment of ChaOs computer but it wuz hard . i imagined to sound like dis : <*+<*+~*+~*~+~*~++~*~~>~#~##~{,{~+~++~+~+~++++~~*~*~*~**~*~*~*BIPP!!!
i luv all my friendzz who r soooOo photogenic n hot n creative n cool n i h8 all the meanie Bo Beanies at public hot3L altho we did Dance in tha lobby to BETTER OFF ALonE on maXXX volume n ppl told us we were the party not whut wuzz goin on upstairs then hoppin thru the WEIRD SLIDYY SLIDDY FAST doors 2Gether then danced w mR Uber man n did so much Ketamine in le bain n hugged the door men then watched a stupid boy not own up to his own squirt puddle.
iNs for 2023::
-geTting 75% fisted (4 out of 5 fingers unless the fist counts as two fingers) til u Bleed b4 work to Charlixxx’s “Pop2” album.
-Making out with ur Fwendzz in the nowiez yurT
-snorting untested molly oFf Ur Phone in nowiez yuRt from boys whose names R just singular individualized Letters of the Alphabet (ie: A , C , P , M)
-acCepting bAe applications only for autistic ppl
-pink drug baggies w pandas on them
-Living heterosexuality vicariously thru ur friendz
-weAring ur reading Glassez when Ur not Resding
-sTealing mirrors from F@mily doLLar
-not feelingresponsible 4 oTherzz problemz
-4Somes
-Mutual ghosting
-Fergie and nitecore and fergie nitecore
-hOney MusTarrdd s@uce from Popppeye w bits of Jalapeñoz .
-saying Popeyes like Pop-pie-eyes and Katz ‘s deli like Kat-siziesez
-Un-identifying w marshmalloWs n identifying with Jellyfish instead (if they go their Hole lives without getting fucked they can literally morph back into being a baby to try again to get fucked)
-twitching b4 u sleep
-Sending them selfies even after they told u they don’t wanna see u anymore
Outs for 2023::
-Bottoming
-OverapologiNg
-nUrses at Callen Lourde
-Asking if u look autistic up close for verbal validation
-Tr1pL3 cancers born at 3:33 who think ur big 3 is “boring” but their big 3 is all the same .?
-the nUmber 3 cuz of that sentence rite there .
-being SinGLe for ANY FUCKING L0nG3R????.!!!!!
-Taking mosh pits personally
-Projecting when ur hangry
-exPecting Ur plug to come to the Door like P1zza delivery mans
-justin bieber slander
-fAlling asLeep to “ My saD liL Peep Mix “ any longer than 4 nites in a row
-Monogamy (?)
B BAK SOON IM GOOGLING THE LYRICS TO CLITORIS THA MUSIKAL BY ASHNIKOO TO MEMORIZE n telling ppl thE faKe stoRyy of how i carry moi Muthas ashes with meh in a pizza locket with a DrugSp000n attTacHed to the bottom. mi Mommy is not dead tho it’s a Joke knock on W00D.
XXX FOR SEX ,
rennybaby69247<3 <3
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#THESE MEN AINT SHIT!!!!!!!!!#THEY RLY JUST TAKE A PIECE OF U WHEN THEY LEAVE HUH#im so sad hshajwkkckfj#**#olivia rodrigo#taylor swift#adele#hailee steinfeld#web weaving#usershreyu#usernicolee#usermarcy#angelspotlight#lyric parallels
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*pays u attention* hiiii I only go here(here being pjo) for the valzhang . Feel free 2 use this ask as a hc dump :}
lee i owe you my first born
it doesn't take leo long to say he's in love . if he makes eye contact with someone and then they smile at him ?? game over . he tells everyone he knows that he's found The One
this being said . when he sees Frank for the first time . he doesn't feel any romantic attraction
mostly cause Frank thinks he's annoying and talks 2 much . also yknow Fire Powers and franks life force being dependent on a piece of firewood
frank is seemingly the exact opposite . he falls in like a lot slower (demi Frank rights) so when he meets Leo his first thought is "why is this tiny person screaming "
don't get me wrong . Leo thinks frank is Beautiful but like , not anything to ride home about . so what if he can nail a bullseye from 100 yards and turn into a lion . Leo doesn't think he's cool or scientifically interesting or kind of funny in that weird dry way grandmas are at all, shut up
I cant remember the books plots exactly cause i haven't read them in years but like , over time as they almost die together for the millionth time , they start to trust each other instinctually. they talk to each other now , and joke around
side note, when leo makes frank laugh for the first time , he has to almost immediately run away to piper to talk thru how he APPARENTLY has a crush !! how . when did this happen . piper why are u laughing
(she tells him that she's the daughter of love and she knew from the start and leo almost lights her room completely on fire from how embarrassed he gets )
the more leo talks it thru the more he's like. oh he thinks im annoying huh . im in way too deep now ! shit !!! he hates me and im in love with him !!!!!! why do the gods hate me piper . im too sexy for this help
she comforts him cause like , she knows frank genuinely doesn't like him rn . she has Vibes but romantically speaking she knows that atm it's one sided
frank , having been Abandoned , talks 2 Hazel for a bit (they are best friends ) and is like . is this what having friends My Age is ? laughing and leaving and nearly dying ?? huh . wild.
leo decides to be himself about the whole situation and Ignore It . it is fine he is fine he's just in love with someone who hates him . he is Okay and Stable and Normal and Not Upset About Anything , Hazel , Why Do You Keep Asking .
this goes on for a few weeks and franks confused cause whenever he makes a joke leo laughs really hard and then says he has "Very important and Shipley duties to attend to . not crashing and such . bye"
and then . Leo gets sucked up or whatever and is on calypsos island for a week .
in my world they're found family and LOVE EACH OTHER , thank you very much , so they all are desperately searching for him everywhere they can think, and Jason says "he's nowhere .. " cause Jason is a repressed emo and percys like hm . Well
frank, being Distinctly upset, immediately sees when percy puts the pieces together, demands he explains . so he does , and as upset as everyone is, they decide to try and help stop the end of the world or whatever.
leo has been having a Week on calypso Island . no one's looking for him, the only human company he has hates his fucjking guts , he has no way out . its literally His Personal Hell and he spends it damning every god he can think of cause like . what are they gonna do . put him on an island where he's functionally alone and can never get off and none of his friends even care ?
as is in canon, he and calypso reluctantly bond over lost loves and dead moms or whatever I can't remember .
eventually, he tells her about Frank, and how Frank could never like him like that, let alone love him.
calypso laughs in his face .
"first of all, I bet 100 drachmas he's in love with you too . second of all . so what . I would kill to have friends like that."
this time, when he promises to find a way off the island for her, she says "Good luck with your boy, boy. May the gods be on your side"
when leo shows back up on argo II everyone's like :-D !!!! LEO !!!!!!! and piper has to Hold frank back from tackling leo in excitement . they just hug rly hard :-) (BTW at this point she knows it's requited and if she weren't so thankful leo was back safe she'd pull his ear and call him stupid)
in the final battle , yes I am skipping ahead my hands hurt , Frank gives leo his firewood and says "don't be stupid, leo . people love you . " Which is as good as a confession you're gonna get before you almost certainly die
when leo Does die, frank goes fucking insane .
he doesn't leave his cabin at the roman camp for a week and when he does, he spends all his time at the archery range . he doesn't talk to anyone but Hazel.
he and annabeth have a conversation about losing someone before you can say you love them , but he barely responds cause like . percy came back . Leo won't.
about a month passes like this , and eventually he goes to chb to pray to hades / Pluto whatever who cares, ans be like . treat him well.
leo then shows up out of the sky, on a Dragon, carrying a Random Girl who immediately hugs leo, punches percy on the arm then hugs him too, and frank faints like the KING he is
when he wakes up in the infirmary, leo is at his bedside, still w the random girl, holding a cup of nectar . he hands it to frank and starts rambling nervously, explaining where he was for the past month and apologising
frank just . grabs his hand . says "I told you to not be stupid."
leo then reaches into his belt and pulls out the firewood
they confess and kiss :-)
#frankie fucks about#tree lee#FUCKING HELL TURNS OUT I HAVE A LOT 2 SAY ABOUT VALZHANG SKDHSJD#valzhang#long post#fraleo#pjo#IF THERE ARE ANY TYPOS . NO THERES NOT
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bhah ch3 reread u know the drill
what is Jamie doing with all this oil I am concerned
god the tension of knowing Jamie is there but not talking to her but Dani probably secretly hoping she will
aww is she picking up more wonder woman comics for mikey?? cute
gah I love that they slip back into playful banter so easily despite everything going on
also 10/10 that the gays in town would be trying on the tackiest sunglasses in the service station (and 12/10 that Jamie actually brought them)
Dani Carson car adventures!! i would read a whole 20k word chapter just on that
sdfkjdshjfhd Dani throwing herself to the ground when she sees Jamie in the supermarket I’m losing it
“Yeah and then she left” ouch
THREE GAYS IN A SUPERMARKET WHAT WILL HAPPEN
aww Jamie Carson reunion tooooo cute
oh my god the tension of them standing back to back trying not to touch lmao
Jamie rly is the teeniest in town huh
Dani getting all protective and mad over Mikey having to sit outside school is v sweet
Jamie to the rescue how cute
Jamie’s collarbone: hello. Dani’s gay panic: LOOK AWAY
also sdkjfhdkjhg Jamie working w her hands is so hot we need more fics just talking about her getting dirty. for the good of the nation
there is so much going on here the cute teasing Dani feeling all weird abt their whole dynamic jamie giving her looks the engagement ring I am not equipped to process all of it
“you think there are secrets in this town?” just ur burning love for each other ladies!
once again mechanic!jamie... i am compromised
aww Dani bby literally does not know what to do with herself. the juxtaposition of the depth of their relationship and the little moments of familiarity with the awkwardness of people who don’t really know each other properly anymore is so fucking well done here
Eddie’s “honey I’m home” moment carrying her over the threshold afkjhsdkjf good for him
Dani and this house got beef huh
Dani: sometimes things with Eddie just don’t feel right but I’m sure that’s fine. Dani when she loses a tiny piece of her relationship w Jamie: level 5 meltdown. Literally the theme of this fic is “honey you got a big storm comin” and I love it
this dig at pineapple on pizza........ offensive
“Instead, she reset her mask, pulled the rope to part the stage curtains, and tied the other end around her neck.” Jesus.
“the other part of Dani, the part that never knew how to stop missing Jamie” i will cryyyy
starting a gofundme for Dani’s car asap
Eddie putting the moves on I can’t look. but lmao when he finds a girl that’s actually into him and wants this kind of attention his whole world is gonne be rocked
can we get Dani some therapy pls this is not how u should feel abt the person ur gonna marry. or about yourself
*gasp* the wontons mixtape
hmmmm I’m Not in Love and A Case Of You really are a one-two punch huh
lol I just went to play them and I was apparently in the middle of listening to Stop Making This Hurt by The Bleachers which feels... apt
fuck. making a mixtape for someone truly is peak romance huh? music my beloved
hmmm i just realised that this timeline parallels the flashback chapters w a new Taylor in school in each how cool. and also Nan vs Jamie taking on responsibilities w these kids and stepping up for them in their own way pls my emotions
aahh the coffee date I kinda forgot how fast Dani made this relationship rekindle bless her
wait clara and horace does that mean abigail is in Dani’s class too??? she lives??
a reserved sign pls that’s so cute
OWEN! god I love the levity and banter w Jamie he brings to fics
there is just so much fondness between them it always shines through no matter what they’re talking about I love it
this backpacking chat... envisioning Dani n Jamie once Mikey is grown up going on a big tour of europe together n fufilling Dani’s dreams
the fact that Jamie was drawn back to this place... by what hmmmm ms taylor. by what
oof this really is a painful rehashing of the past huh.
“star hike” lmao
"I can fix it." "You can't." OUCH
ooft just rip the bandaid right off. “I missed you. Everyday.” god my heart
arguing in an alley behind the pharmacy that’s gay rights
"Because if it was going to end, then I wanted it over quickly!” jamie ‘everyone always leaves so I cut them off before they can hurt me‘ taylor everyone. I am not doing well
ok with the context of like... everything from the future chapters this scene hits even harder than the first time i read it jesus
still can’t get over Dani ‘trying not to recall the memories of the last time they were in this room together’ was Jamie absolutely falling to pieces in her arms *screams forever* i remember reading that line and imagning so many things it could have been and yet yall went for the ultimate stab to the heart bravo
god I’m just thinking about how much they’ve both changed in those 10 years and how much they’ve stayed the same and just. god the way they’re so drawn to each other still!!!! i can’t even comprehend
blue schrunchie cherished friend
i feel like there is a significance to the red door I cant place and all my brain will provide is “you, me, her” but polyamory adventures is probably not the direction this is going
Jamie like “want a tour of ur future home babe? lets go” (I do love how enchanted Dani is by all of it though)
gah I love Jamie and Mikey together soooo much
find u a person that eats all the foods u don’t like. pickle soulmates
heh “Miss Dani” poor Mikey is goin through it lolol
they are all so cute together i love this lil sunday afternoon family
“Dani kept her gaze fixed on Jamie for just a second longer, studying her profile” gay
there has been several mentions of Jamie’s unreadable/blank expressions this chapter and I can’t stop laughing at her losing her mind over how much she loves Dani and trying to keep it in check every time
THEY’RE FRIENDS AGAIN
AND THEY’RE HUGGING OH HAPPY DAYS
oooh the sandalwood cologne
idk why this Jamie Eddie handshake is making me laugh so much but I love them
Eddie pulling Dani in closer to himself when Jamie’s there..... he knows
staying awake until 2am to finish rereading gay fanfiction... clownery (but fun!) goodnight
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damie vibecca exes au pt 9
post directory
obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming
em: ot4! ot4! ot4
obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have
obsetress: short curly hair viola
em: what is wrong with you
em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif
obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like
obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive
obsetress: vs um
obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into
obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)
em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt
obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave
obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt
obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her
obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt
em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off
obsetress: YEAH
obsetress: grits teeth
obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right
obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true
obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too
obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too
obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough
obsetress: like she v much covets dani
em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society
em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass
obsetress: literally and metaphorically
obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it
obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)
obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"
obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"
obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again
obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob
obsetress: YEAH I JSUT
obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND
obsetress: AND THEN GOT
obsetress: SO DISTRACTD
[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]
obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola
obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair
obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"
em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)
obsetress: it's nice :)
obsetress: i'm happy for her :)
obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)
obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)
obsetress: you know i love you :)
em: WAIT
em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like
obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh
em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w
em: YEAH
obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj
em: CURLY BROWN HAIR
obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO
obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS
obsetress: aw baby has a type
em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine
em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard
obsetress: she's just. staring
obsetress: mouth def hanging open
obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight
obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch
em: jamie doesn’t twig it
em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow
obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime
obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?
jamie: wot?
dani: do i have a type?
obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––
obsetress: oh. oh
em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart
em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd
obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor
em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is
em: barely even knows a birthday
em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday
em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all
obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"
em: WHIPPED
obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"
obsetress: "mm"
obsetress: whipped as hell
obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere
obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me
em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself
em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....
obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet
em: and yet!
em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao
em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani
em: dani does a reverse park without thinking
obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria
obsetress: same!!!!!!!
obsetress: also just like. imagining
obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors
em: no
em: HANNAH
obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious
obsetress: OH GOD
obsetress: i didn't––
em: i jumped
em: phew it’s actually cute
obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick
em: well
obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise
em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’
obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most
obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)
obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows
obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”
obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly
obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”
obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so
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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -
this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe
like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing
ok this will get long so cut it is
how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it
i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe
i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling
was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character
and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK
related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺
ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no
they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn
everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)
loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad
also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time
overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out
THE PARALELOGRAMS
fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting
but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?
i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh
interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that
plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse
like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.
like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain
his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups
weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.
especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN
also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually
the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them
tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute
also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him
i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic
. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased
johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!
but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn
Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid
case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up
billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene
seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit
also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!
i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better
martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it
love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again
“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT
also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait
seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know
interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?
like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls
and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)
feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses
the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior
the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK
that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.
the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is
like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise
like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,
which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far
robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is
hawk............... is there i guess,
demetri is annoying in the best way possible,
carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.
aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her
moon the bi icon,
overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast
the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight
and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!
also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .
and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?
robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.
LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun
bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more
tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(
the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good
i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon
also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean
also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic
when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show
when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers
also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts
AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD
i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke
daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging
JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER
daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass
parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now
“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched
this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg
everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers
also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??
stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((
sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe
robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.
also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY
i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break
ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK
so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐
and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out
miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold
also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH
ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd
final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!
#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should#watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it#cobra kai#the karate kid#its funn#y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say#it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything#but now.#i might be invested#maybe#talvez
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not rly a request or ask but it is way too hot where i am rn so i’ve been thinking about summer romance thingz with omi to cope.. i just wanna share one of those two stick popsicles with him on a warm summer eve and watch fireflies.... beach date..... WATER PARK DATE........ the intimacy of holding hands with someone even though it’s too hot to be touching another person but just not wanting to let go......... the heat brain damage is truly taking its toll on me
UGHHDHDH UR MIND CIRI!!! omi would be the perfect person to go on a summer date with omfg ur so big brained frfr. sry i didn't give u more, this was getting quite long :<
.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ( ´ ∀ ` ) ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+
You felt like you were dying in this heat.
Everyone from Mankai was brought to the water park to cool down in the unbearable temperatures the upcoming Summer was bestowing upon them, and thankfully, Sakyo was willing to shave off an extra few dollars from their budget to buy multiple boxes of popsicles.
"Omi! Director!" Taichi shouted from the top of his lungs as he held one of those very boxes in his little hands.
"We accidentally bought the two stick popsicles and we need to finish 'em before they melt!" The shortest Autumn Troupe member explained as he shook the box in front of you and Omi once you reached him. "Juza already ate three while Banri and I ate one. One of you, please finish it."
"You're scared Sakyo will get mad if we waste them, huh." You stated rather than asked, eyes shooting a pointed look towards Taichi who could only give you a pathetic simper and a flutter of his eyelashes.
You sighed with a shake of your head as Omi decided to help save Taichi's life and grabbed the last popsicle from the box, gently tapping the teenager's cheek with it as he reached down to grab your hand in his.
"Leave the shopping to us next time." He lightly admonished Taichi who poked his tongue out sheepishly. Both you and Omi sent each other a look of amusement once the teen ran off to go and recycle the box, leaving you two to go and wander around to find a bench nearby.
“No,” you groaned helplessly when Omi pulled your bare legs across his lap once you two sat down, unable to fight back against his brute strength, “too warm.”
“Aw. But I wanted to be close to you.” The man with the scar pouted at you while unwrapping the cold treat that he had taken from Taichi, scarred fingers delicately pulling the plastic away to reveal your favourite popsicle flavour.
Noticing your heated gaze on the treat, Omi blinked in mock surprise before taking both sticks into his hands. With ease, he broke the treat into two and held out the bigger broken piece out to you with a smile, head tilting to the side. “Ahh.." He cooed.
The popsicle was held right in front of your face for you to take, and without thinking, opened your mouth to happily wrap your lips around the icy treat, a happy noise escaping you.
Your hand came up to curl around his wrist while the other moved to take the stick from his fingers, finally relieved to have the popsicle melting and cooling down your parched tongue as Omi watched on with an indescribable look of love on his face.
"So adorable." He mumbled behind his own popsicle, resting his hand upon your knee.
Your gaze landed on him at the warm touch, but you didn't complain despite the heat spreading up your leg and throughout your body.
You smiled at each other behind your ice treats, listening to the other troupes and their members shouting excitedly, their feet heavily pounding against the concrete ground as they ran to the other slides.
Maybe the heat wasn't so bad.
#omi x reader#a3! scenarios#a3! imagines#a3! fanfic#a3! drabble#a3! headcanons#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game#act! addict! actors!#THIS IS FOR U CIRI!!! I LOVE YOU#sigils
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19
IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:
Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”
EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.
IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.
(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)
The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.
/gunshot
oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.
Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.
man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.
It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.
in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.
The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.
h
She chose not to dwell on it.
h
i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue
Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”
THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)
We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.
them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA
Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.
im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.
“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”
For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.
GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.
“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”
“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.
im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”
“We’re fine.”
“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”
“Just hurry up.”
The line went dead.
this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING
Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in.
[...]
She recognized this now.
Glynda.
stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…
Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.
god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The front door clicked open.
Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.
There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.
offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are.
Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”
with my son
with my son
with my son
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
im like sweating rn
Glynda said, “I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to tell you.”
I SAID IM SWEATING
Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”
And Cinder said, “What?”
“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”
I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G
“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”
Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”
so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND
I
AM
so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.
The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.
it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.
a small intermission for a mood:
“Get fucked.”
back to regularly scheduled hell
Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke.
i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help
Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.”
cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :)
cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,
Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.
this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.
“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”
NOT NOW
Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.
It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.
They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.
She’d burn them black.
never mind! you are already dead,
She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.
She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?
Yeah, fuck that.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.
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chapter 9 of don’t read the last page is here!
[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]
t-rated version on tumblr, m-rated on ao3 ;)
“Anna…” he said, and for a moment he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say. He was so proud of her, how good she was; how she managed to charm everyone she ever met, how much work she put into her performances, how every eye in the room landed on her the moment she stepped in-- and he knew in his heart that in the coming days there would only be more of all of that, more eyes focused on her, more people wanting a little piece of her, more of the world demanding she let a little bit of her light rub off on them.
And still, she cared what he thought.
chapter 9: raindrops
They both agreed it was for the best that Kristoff drove to the beach, even though they were in Anna’s car; she was bursting with excitement, which only exacerbated her habit of talking with her hands.
He kept his own hands firmly on the wheel as she bounced on in the passenger seat. “So they want me to be her, which like-- oh my god, I grew up watching that movie and like...oh my god! I used to just dance around the living room and sing the songs over and over again and drive Elsa crazy, but it was only fair because she was into Star Wars and made me do lightsaber battles with her, but like-- oh my god, I always wanted to be her, and now maybe I will be--”
“Hang on,” Kristoff cut in as he reached over to squeeze one of her flailing hands at a red light. “This is like, the Anastasia who died in the Russian Revolution? This is like, a little kid movie?”
“Well, yeah. In this version, like, her family dies I guess, but it’s not onscreen or whatever, and she got away and just doesn’t know she-- wait. Kristoff, you’ve never seen Anastasia?”
“Um...no?”
“Not even with your sisters?”
He shrugged. “I...maybe I have and just forgot.”
“Well, you’ll have to watch it with me now,” Anna said, settling back in her seat. “That way when this comes out, you can be like everyone else fighting on Twitter about live-action remakes and whether they’re better or worse.”
“I don’t have Twitter, remember?”
“I’ll make you one, just for this. It’s part of the millennial experience, Kristoff.”
“What is?”
“Fighting with someone on the internet by sending reality TV gifs back and forth.”
“Um...if you say so.”
They’d already been driving for forty minutes, and they were getting close to the little cutoff he had found once in college when he’d just needed to get in the car and drive. He’d looked it up later, and the little beach it led to was technically public property, but he’d never once seen another soul out here. It was his favorite place to go when he needed to just be, and Anna was the first person he was ever showing it to. It was odd, but he was somehow nervous about it, worried that maybe for some reason she wouldn’t like it.
He was carefully watching the road signs when he heard a little “oh!” and glanced over at Anna.
“What is it?”
“I think I just saw a raindrop.”
“But we live in LA, it never rains here til--”
She was right. Another raindrop plopped suddenly on the windshield, and Kristoff felt himself deflate as surely as if he were a balloon that had just met its untimely end.
“Sorry, Anna,” he sighed, “just let me find a good spot to pull over and turn aro--”
“What are you talking about? It hasn’t rained in ages, I don’t mind at all.”
“But you wanted to swim, and we packed the picnic basket--”
“So? I can swim in the rain.”
He glanced at her again. “Seriously, Anna, you don’t have to--”
“It’s not a have to. I want to.” She reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m not going to let a little shower ruin our day.”
It was quickly turning into more than just a little shower. As the rain picked up, he turned at last onto the cutoff and braked, not bothering to park. “Seriously, Anna, I--”
“Drive a little more. Onto the beach.”
He did so, holding back his questions. “Okay, now park.”
The moment he did so, she hopped out of the car and scurried to the back. “Anna!” he called after a moment of stunned surprise. “You’re going to get soaking wet!”
She had already opened the trunk; as he turned back to look at her, she cheerfully peeled off her t-shirt and tossed it up to him, leaving her in her bikini top and shorts. “Good thing I wore my swimsuit then, huh? Come back here and help me push the seats down.”
He did, and she pulled out the blanket they’d brought and spread it over the newly flat space in the back of the car. “See? Perfect! And less sand, too.”
She put one hand on his shoulder as she hopped on one foot, taking off her shoes. “Are you gonna swim with me, Kris?”
“It’s going to be even colder than normal with the rain.”
“Good thing you’re here to warm me up then,” she said as she succeeded in getting her other shoe off. “Come on!”
She took off running towards the water, a scream of delight tearing from her throat as the rain plastered her hair to her bare, freckled shoulders. She turned to wave back at him. “What are you waiting for?”
He followed after her, slowly, a wide grin on his face as he watched her run into the water, squealing when it splashed her ankles and she realized how cold it really was. “I warned you!” he called, but she only laughed.
“Come on in, the water’s fine!”
Lightning flickered in the distance. “It’s about to storm, baby,” he called. “Come back!”
“Come and get me!”
He did, loping down towards the edge of the water, and she ran back out, meeting him halfway and throwing her arms around his neck. She was shivering, just a little, but when he pressed his hands against the small of her back, she sighed happily. “God, Kris, you’re so warm,” she said, nuzzling her nose against his neck.
“You’ll be even warmer once you get back in the car,” he said, and then she took his hand in hers and they were running towards the car, laughter spilling from them as a crack of thunder sounded in the sky.
Once they were in the backseat of the car again, scooting back far enough that the few droplets of rain that were slipping in past the raised tailgate couldn’t reach them, he leaned against the side of the car as she snuggled up against him, her hair already soaking through his shirt. He pulled the picnic blanket up and draped it over her shoulders; she thanked him with a kiss before settling back against his side.
They sat in silence for a while, watching the rain and the waves as Anna warmed up against him, tucked under his arm. He was still trying to make sense of all that had happened in the last day, of this phone call about the big part and the fact that they’d almost fought and then realized neither of them wanted to and then, most importantly of all, that she’d said she loved him, and he’d said it back, and now at last he could say it whenever he wanted to instead of biting his tongue so it didn’t spill out while he was holding her or talking on the phone or just watching her being, well, her.
"I love you," he said, just to test the feel of it in his mouth once more, his heart beginning to pound; surely he'd imagined it, that she had ever said it at all--
"I love you, too," she said, tilting her chin up so she could kiss the underside of his jaw. "I love you so much, Kristoff, and I love your freckles and your eyes and your nose and your chest--"
She shifted, straddling his lap so she could face him. "My chest?" he asked, amused.
"Yes," she said, pressing her hands against it and splaying her fingers out with a happy little sigh. "I love it when you pick me up or when you just hold me, and it just-- I just feel so safe, and--"
He kissed her then, too overwhelmed for words, but Anna pulled away after only a moment, determined to continue her list. "And I love the way your hair gets all messy when you sleep, and I love how handsome you look when you wear your glasses, and--"
She paused for a moment to let out a little gasp as his lips slid down to her neck; when he reached her collarbone she let her head loll back. He slid his hands up her back, keeping her pressed close to him, and her eyes fluttered shut. "God-- I think I love your mouth the most-- or maybe your hands-- fuck, Kris!" she gasped as without warning he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the junction of her neck and shoulder, his tongue flicking over her skin.
Her hands started tugging at the hem of his shirt, and he leaned back just enough to pull it off with her help before capturing her mouth with his own.
"I love you, too," he panted as he finally succeeded in tugging it off. "I-- everything about you, baby, it's all my favorite-- you're my favorite--"
"And you're mine," she whispered, and then she kissed him again and at last he was starting to believe this was real.
---
How did the meeting with your agent go yesterday afternoon? Sorry, just realized I forgot to ask when you called last night.
.
no worries i know u were tired, i was too so i forgot to say anything haha
but it was good! he gave me everything i need
including the sheet music😱
.
It’s a musical?
.
omg we rly have to find time to watch this movie together
yes but i havent sung much recently
nervous
.
I can help you practice if you want.
.
omg
u do music stuff? how am i just now finding this out
.
Kind of. I’ll be home around 5 if you want to practice there.
Or we can go to your place.
.
urs is better
elsa having honey over for dinner 👀
so i kind of already told her i would spend the night with u...just in case
is that ok?
.
It’s more than ok. You don’t even have to ask.
.
💕💕💕
ily!!
.
Love you too.
Anna was there right at five, practically vibrating with excitement as Kristoff opened the door. “I haven’t even sat down yet,” he teased as she burst through the door, her arms loaded with grocery bags.
“Sorry, sorry, I just couldn’t want to find out more about this musical gift you’ve been hiding from me!” she chirped, opening his fridge. “I brought stuff for dinner if that’s okay. And breakfast. Since you were at work or with me all the time the last few days, I figured you hadn’t had time to go to the grocery. And I got those carrot cake cupcakes Sven likes. I still feel bad about the sofa.”
He felt a swell of affection in his chest. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said, coming up behind her and pulling her into an embrace. “But thank you.”
“I wanted to do it,” she said, turning in his arms so she could rise up on her toes and kiss him. “You do so much for me, I just...I don’t know.”
He just held her for a long moment, his heart skipping a beat when she sighed in contentment and nestled her face against his shoulder. There was so much about loving her that he, well, loved, but this-- just holding her, feeling the way her breath synchronize with his as the tension sank slowly out of her body, feeling himself relax as well and knowing it was all just because they were together-- well. It was difficult to imagine anything else ever making him happier.
“Love you,” he said softly, and she tightened her arms around his waist.
“Love you, love you, love you,” she said cheerfully before pulling away a little, still keeping her hands on his sides. “Are you still up for helping me practice? It’s okay if you’re too tired or need to study or something. But you might want to wear headphones if that’s the case, because the audition is this Friday, and I really do need to practice, and I’m, well, out of practice.”
Kristoff huffed out a laugh and took her hand, leading her to his room. “I’ve got time. No tests ‘til next week. No promises that I’ll actually be of help, though.”
Anna hopped a little with excitement as he opened the door. “Are you going to sing with me? Or do you have, like, a keyboard or something?”
“Or something.”
She hopped up onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle of it as he went to his closet, already feeling nervous even before he turned around and showed her the guitar in his hands. She gasped in surprise, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. “Oh! I didn’t know you played!”
“I don’t, not really,” he said hastily as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Well, you have your own guitar, so that has to count for something.”
He shrugged, fiddling awkwardly with the tuning pegs and plucking at the strings. “It’s just...I don’t know. My dad, uh, he taught me a little when I was younger, and then I had to do some kind of music class in college, and it kinda...it was relaxing, I guess. And then I found this one at a thrift store and just...got it on a whim. I, uh, I thought I would just, y’know, play for my mom some, I learned some songs for her birthday one year and...um…”
He felt a flush creeping up his cheeks, knowing he was rambling. “Anyway. So I don’t really play. But I can try for you.”
Anna’s eyes were soft as he looked at her over his shoulder. “Will you sing for me?”
His face only grew warmer. “I, uh, I-- Mom really likes Elvis, so that’s the only thing I know well enough to sing along to, and I know that’s kind of lame--”
“No, it’s not, really,” she said immediately, scooting forward so she could sit behind him, tucking her chin over his shoulder and sliding her arms around his waist. “Please, Kris?”
“Anna…”
“I love you,” she said sweetly, pressing a kiss just under his ear, and how could he say no after that?
“Fine,” he grumbled, and she scooted back so she could watch him, her eyes bright. “Um...what song?”
“You pick.”
He started strumming a few chords, wishing his heart would slow down a little. “I...I really...I’m not very good…”
She just rested her chin in her hands, smiling at him so broadly he thought his heart would burst. He could have gone on staring at her all day, the way the afternoon sunlight slanted through the window and illuminated her hair and brought out her freckles and made her eyes shine bluer than anything he’d ever seen-- but she was waiting for him, and he knew that for whatever reason this meant something to her, and so he cleared his throat and started to sing.
“Wise men say…”
His voice was shaking; he had to look away from her as he sang. He’d never performed for anyone besides his family, and even then he’d only been able to do it after secretly downing a shot of whiskey.
He kept going, anyway, and after another line or two, he felt the bed shift and then the press of Anna’s cheek against his upper back as she snuggled against him. He stumbled for a moment, his heart and his voice stuttering, but as she pressed a kiss between his shoulderblades suddenly his nerves began to fade away.
“...for I can’t help falling in love with you,” he finished, strumming the final chord and realizing that at some point, his heart had finally slowed down.
Anna’s arms came over his shoulders as she embraced him, pressing a damp kiss against his cheek. “Thank you, Kris,” she sniffled, and he set the guitar down so he could turn and hug her back.
“Why are you crying, baby?” he teased gently as she swiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt-- his sweatshirt, he realized suddenly, one that was so big on her it covered her hands. Had she really been wearing that all day? “Was it really that bad?”
“That was the sweetest thing that’s ever happened to me in my whole entire life,” she said, and he couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her, and then again on her forehead for good measure.
“So where’s the music you need to practice? Your turn to sing for me.”
“It’s in my backpack,” she said, but made no move to lean down and get it from the floor, instead pressing a contented kiss against his cheek.
He felt his heart jump, just as it always did, even now; somehow it always surprised him, the easy affection she gave him so freely, so happily, just because she could, because she wanted to, because as unbelievable as it seemed, she loved him. He held her close for another moment, just because he could, and then said, a hint of regret in his voice, “If we keep just doing this all night, then you’ll never get to practice, and I know this audition is really important…”
Anna sighed and slipped out of his arms to crouch on the floor and pull out a folder full of sheet music. She spread it open on the bed and considered it all for a moment, her fingers dancing in the air just above it all. “They told me I can just pick whichever song I want to do for it, even if I’d rather do one of the other characters’ ones because they’re still finishing up a couple of new additions...hmm…”
She glanced up at him. “There’s tabs written up at the top. Can you play based on that?”
He nodded; though he’d downplayed it out of nervousness, he actually did play fairly regularly. It had started just for the class, but then he’d found himself pulling out the guitar and practicing whenever his major classes got to be too much, and then he’d find himself returning to his notes with a newfound sense of clarity. He’d gotten an A in that initial music class and been surprised, even though over the course of the semester he’d put in dozens of hours of practice. He still pulled it out of the closet whenever work or school got too overwhelming, though never when Anna was over or Sven was home; the only people who’d ever heard him play at all had been his professor and his family-- well, until now.
Anna settled on a song and shifted the music towards him. “Do you think you can do this one?”
“If you don’t mind me making some mistakes, sure.”
He started strumming slowly, just sounding out the chords, then nodded resolutely. “Okay. Ready?”
She nodded, and he started playing through the song, nodding to give her her cue to come in, but instead of singing she flushed bright red and looked away. Kristoff raised his eyebrows and played the intro again, waiting for her to start, but she shook her head. He set guitar down and asked playfully, “What, you can make a movie for the whole world to see, but you can’t sing in front of your boyfriend?”
“It’s different,” she squeaked out, her cheeks only growing redder. “Your opinion matters.”
He huffed out a laugh, knowing that this gently teasing back-and-forth was the only way to coax her into doing it, even though inside his chest he suddenly felt so warm he just wanted to toss all the music aside and pull her back into his arms. “You made me sing first. It’s only fair, baby.”
“Okay, okay-- just-- do it again, okay? I promise I’ll actually sing this time.”
He started strumming again, and this time she did, though she had to look away. He did his best to hide the surprise he was feeling; he’d heard her sing back when she’d performed in school musicals, and she’d been good then, but now...Jesus. No wonder they wanted her for this part.
When they finished the song, the last note still shimmering tremulously in the air, he tossed the guitar aside and leaned over to pull her into a hug, his arms only tightening when she let out a little yelp of surprise. “Was that okay?” she asked hopefully, her hands settling on his back.
“Anna…” he said, and for a moment he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say. He was so proud of her, how good she was; how she managed to charm everyone she ever met, how much work she put into her performances, how every eye in the room landed on her the moment she stepped in-- and he knew in his heart that in the coming days there would only be more of all of that, more eyes focused on her, more people wanting a little piece of her, more of the world demanding she let a little bit of her light rub off on them.
And still, she cared what he thought.
“You’re going to nail this, baby,” he said and felt her melt a little against him. “You’re going to get this part and be a fucking star, and I’m gonna be cheering you on the whole way.”
Whatever came next, whoever demanded something of her, whatever she demanded of herself-- he would be there, in the quiet moments and the loud, an anchor for her, as long as she wanted him to be the one she came home to, whether that was for only another week or for a lifetime.
And, if he was being honest, he was starting to hope it would be the latter.
#ahem...last chapter it probably wasnt worth clicking over to ao3 if you prefer tumblr#but this time...the cuts had to be bigger fljdaskf;adj im trash#drtlp#my fics
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Swagger's had a rough day and he heads home and he gets into a big fight with Cam. Fitz is done with his shit and he bounces. Swagger breaks down after and he stays by the door waiting for Fitz to come home so he could apologize and be held and snuggled.
u rly like the ending of saintlike huh
warning: threats
~
“cam, what the fuck did I tell you about fucking knocking before you come into my damn room? haven’t you ever fucking heard of privacy?”
“jesus christ, eric, im just trying to see if youre alright. no need to yell at me.”
“im fine, now get the fuck out of by room or i’ll fucking make you.”
“youre obviously not fucking fine, eric. youre pissed off about something and I wanna know what.”
“you wanna know what im pissed off at? huh?” eric stood up, walking up to cam until he was chest to chest. “you know what im pissed about? you fucking not listening to me and bothering me when I want to be fucking alone! god, cant you get that through your thick fucking skull, or do I have to beat it into you like the pathetic son of a bitch you are?”
“that’s enough, eric,” cam snapped. “get out of your pissy fucking attitude and talk to me instead of threatening me.”
“oh, im sorry, did you get your fucking feelings hurt? good. maybe you deserve to get fucking beat up so you understand that its not your place to fucking talk down to me like that. and i’ll show my attitude how i want. its my fucking house, i do everything here, and what do you do? fucking jack off in the other room like you own the damn place, doing absolutely nothing. youre a lousy piece of shit who thinks theyre better than everyone else. well guess what, cameron? youre fucking not! youre the worst one out of us all. and im about to make that fucking threat a reality if you don’t get the fuck out of my room.”
cam was nearly in tears by the end of eric’s speech. “you want me out of your room? fine. i’ll leave the fucking house too while im at it, just to make you happy.” cam slammed the bedroom door shut and stomped out of the house. eric could hear the car leave.
all his anger dissipated at once, and regret filled his entire being. hot tears ran down his face as he clenched his fists. he wasn’t angry at cam. he was angry at himself for letting his anger get the best of him, for letting mundane things ruin his day.
he nearly crumpled into himself as he let out a sob. why did he do that? why did he say those things? cam was just trying to help. that’s it. he wasn’t meaning any harm by it.
eric found himself walking to the front door and sitting down. he brought his legs up to his chest and rocked slightly. he was waiting for cam to come back. cam would come back and hed apologize and cam would take it and theyd kiss and cuddle and everything was going to be okay. cam just had to come back.
so eric sat next to the door, legs up to his chest, waiting for cam to come back.
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there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)
ep1
-isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please
-LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS
-isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace......
-isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on
-isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well
-”c00l” isak. i hate u so much
-honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL)
-even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd
ep2
-there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what
-i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love
-isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys
-the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic
-not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j >
-i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters
-even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id)
-”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff
-when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh
-”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i-
-the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic
ep3
-mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u
-even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd
-how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic]
-whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf
-yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u
-im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence
-is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016)
-idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!
ep4
-i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes
-even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow
-parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :(
-”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life
-I wanted to be with you aloneeeee
-even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director
-how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!!
-even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em
-when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy
-even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal
ep5
-ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((
-even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream
-isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :(
-taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus,
-im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one
-MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM
-what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks)
-even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip
-not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night
-speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :(
-bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it
-ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good
ep6
-never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew
-i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!!
-i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??
-and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))
ep7
-weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo)
-”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak
-jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’)
-maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”)
-mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend
-’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos
-isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker
-also. another stellar look from valtersen
-slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE
-eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)
ep8
-this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow??
-literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!
-sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much
-also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!!
-magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew
-isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3
-no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me)
-you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo
-isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much
-when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly
ep9
-ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up
-cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart
-”wait they have waffles here? see ya”
-this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!]
-det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry
-isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3
-o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so.
-jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3
ep10
-minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even
-not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself?
-i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being
-and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :(
-lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls
-like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3
-isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!
-isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible
-i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties
-even and linn friendship!!!!
-cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating)
-I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS*
-im the fucking master of lying 😤
-literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time
-I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
-also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen
-halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz
-literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them
-No filter! wow I love symbolism
-so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :)
-the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww
-take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius
-who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can
-literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen
-biology partner. and friend. ;-;
-even literally is the biggest stoner blease
-isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES
-livet er nå 💛
final thoughts :( <3
-this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart.
-julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life
-this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on)
-literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime
-s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>>
-don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life
#take a shot every time i say whew#fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx#its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought#also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say#AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd#skam#clownfest 2019#blabbey
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BIG FAT ENDGAME POST
MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT
so a majority of this is just going to be me yodeling out of my own asshole because i’m literally going fucking feral and have been for about three straight hours and i’ve literally cried myself to the point of almost fainting from dehydration anyways y’all been warned lmao
TONY FU GUKING CLAPPED BACK H A R D IN THE BEGINNING THE W A Y BOB DOWNEY JUS FUCKIGN WENT FOR THAT WHOLE FUCKING SCENE MEATY AS F U C K ON MYG GYOD the way he said liar had me going into a damn near conniption fit rIGHT THERE
starting the movie off with jeremy renner and giving a shit about hawkeye in the movie.......big fat n*ce
SOMEHOW I FORGOT HE WAS MARRIED TO VELMA DINKLEY
linda cardelini is so incredibly valid i caNT
S C C OT T
HOLY FCUK
PAUL RUDD FUCKIGN FLEXED HUH
WHEN HE’S SEARCHIGN FOR CASSIE’S NAME IN THE GRAVEYARD YALL I ABOUT SHIT A B R I C K
‘ anyone seen a piece of shit van??? ’
so anyways when scott reunites with cassie and finds out that she’s grown up in the five years its been i coiuldn’t stop thinking of my own dad and that got even worse when tony goes out into the woods on his n pep’s lil lakeside cabin the way he’s interacting with mORGAN
MORGAN FUC VGKIN STARK
‘ mommy sent me to come rescue you ’ IM SO
GOD HIS FACE WHEN THEY SHOW UP TO HIS FUCKING HOUSE GOD I LVOE HIM
scott is DOING HIS BEST
‘ it’s nOT....like time traVEl its..........ok that’s exactly what it is ’ YFODSAUFDSKALL IDIOT i lov u
scott actually having MAJOR anxiety and being nervous, the way he paces, getting lost, speech patterns, ugH
am i even gonna be able to finish this post??? PROBABLY NOT
im literally already emotional all over again jsut thinking about it
god tony rly said fuck thanos rights
steve rogers rly earned my respect in the course of this movie and that is one HELL of an uphill battle god bless america’s ass
that was just robert staring at evans’ ass for the hell of it dont lie to me there was NO ACTING REQUIRED
HULK MESH BRUCE IM SO!!!!!!!!!!!
thor was fuckgin beautifully done bc he’s fuckgin depressed and dealing with the repercussios of being a failure and id die for him oh mgyoD???!?!?! let him play fortnite shut the fuck up
as soon as bruce mentions thanos’ name you see how fuckign broken thor really is and i Felt That
THE WAY BRUCE SPEAKS TO THOR IS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT HOW MUCH HE VALUES HIM AND HOW MUCH MERIT HE HAS AND IM JUST A BIG FAT FUCKIGN MESS OVER JUST THE INTERACTIONS IN HIS LIL NEW ASGARD CABIN
ALSO TONY AND NEBULA PLAYING GAMES AND HIM TEACHING HER HOW TO AND ABT SPORTSMANSHIP AND WHEN SHE PROPS HIM UP WHEN HES SLEEPING AND PROBABLY THINKING HES GONNA DIE AND ACCEPTING THAT UNTIL CAROL SHOWS UP
THAT SHIT HURTED
i literally cant fuckgin procss everything that happened there was so fuc f gkin much
“““““““howard potts”““““““
PEPPER DID THAT DID THAT
IF Y’ALL EVER LEAVE PEPPER OUT OF SHIT AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL END YOU MY FUC GKIN SELF
HOLY FUCK SHE WAS SO POWERFUL
UGH
WE STAN THE MARVEL QUEEN S
strange making direct eye contact with tony and tony fucking k n e w
in conclusion tony stark was, is, and always will be the absolute heart of the marvel cinematic universe we know and not even his death can change that
avengers Actual Literal Inarguable Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart endgame
sAM!!! GETTING!!!! TO BE!!!! CAP!!!!! GOD!!!!! THATS WHAT I DESERVE
wong being the absolute LEGEND he is for like FIVE WHOLE SECONDS OF ME LOVING HIM IRREVOCABLY
jeremy renner getting the fucking respect he deserves lord in heaven i love clint barton so fuckgin mjuch dond tfuc gkin touc h me
say what u want abt scarjo but my god she DID THAT did that
BRUCE REALIZING NATASHA WAS GONE MY ABSOLUTE H E A R T
I COULTN TELL FROM THE GIFS IF TONY WAS THE ONE SAYING HUH THIS IS NICE WHEN HE HUGGED PETER BC HONESTLY IT CAN GO BOTH WAYS AND FRANKLY THEY KILLED ME
peter saying tony
i want to fucking die
im taking legal custody of morgan edwin antoinette baby girl stark
please watch this movie i’m literally beggin gyou
#endgame spoilers#endgame spoilers /#avengers endgame spoilers#avengers endgame spoilers /#avengers spoilers#avengers spoilers /#a4 spoilers#a4 spoilers /
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hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️
hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.
long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.
transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.
my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.
i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.
join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.
along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body
(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)
again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.
your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.
my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns
(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)
it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.
i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).
(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)
my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.
my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.
but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.
#long post#sorry if you need this formatted for ease of reading please shout at me. i really word vomited all over this#my transition#trans#anon#asks#iodk what else to tag this as
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Done with everything
Prompt - Hello! my birthday is September 28 (if you can’t do it by that time it’s cool id just love it at some point) and I was wondering if you could do a stereo kicks imagine where Reece feels unwanted in the band and the boys are moody so they don’t notice and are kinda blunt with him and he starts feeling depressed and suicidal because he’s also getting hate so he starts self-harming and one of the boys (idc who) finds out and tells the rest etc. etc. - thank you!
Prompt - hi could u do a stereo kicks one shot (Reece centric) were he gets a lot of hate n then the boys r going to a party n Reece says he don’t wanna go n so the boys get annoyed n leave in a huff n then he gets a ton of hate and so he tweets something like “ok u guys win I’m done” and the boys get scared and come home finding him self-harming and about to overdose?
Prompt - hi, I read your Nathan one shot and omg I loved it. Basically it’s my B’day soon (ok not that soon- June 9th) and I wanted to know if u could do a Reece one shot (stereo kicks) kinda the same storyline but not rly. like the boys are being so douche to him bc they think he gets the most girl attention so he starts self-harming and then one of the boys walks in on him and they feel super bad bc he bleeds out rly bad? Tyy
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It had been a few days now that Reece just didn’t understand where he stands with his band. The boys had been like a second family to him but now he feels like an outcast in this family. Stereo Kicks had been a band that used to be all supportive and loving but it didn’t take long for the boys to let jealousy, insecurities and frustrations to tear them apart. Unfortunately, the one person who tried to keep them together happened to become a victim of their bullying and ill-treatment.
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This ill feeling within the band didn’t take long to catch the public’s attention. Their fans had been wondering as to what could actually be going on with the boys. And soon, it turned into sending them hate. One of the persons who didn’t deal well with the hate was Reece. But unfortunately, his bandmates were too busy accusing each other of slacking off or blaming each other for the band not meeting with much success lately. The boys being moody and kind of douche to him mostly, certainly, didn’t help with Reece’s feeling of not being wanted.
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When your own bandmates turn their back on you, it’s difficult to stay brave. Reece wasn’t really capable of dealing with the hate by himself. Feeling quite low, the only solution he found to fight the hate was to harm himself. One cut became two, then three and then he lost count of how many cuts he was actually doing. And his bandmates happen to only fuel his self-harm.
Early morning, Jake, Chris and Casey decided to remove their frustrations on the poor Reece who happened to be clueless about the party tonight.
“You didn’t know? Where’s your head at these days?” Jake shouted.
“I…” Reece trailed off.
“You just don’t care about the band, huh?” Casey asked.
“I didn’t mean” Reece tried to explain himself but was cut off by Chris.
“Just make yourself useful for once and get ready for the party after our interview” Chris huffed.
As he trudged back to his room, Reece could only forget these harsh words with a cut or two.
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The interview turned out real bad. Even the interviewer had pointed out at the fragile bond that could clearly be seen between them. Reece had moved a bit far from the boys after the interview, looking forward to greet some fans when suddenly a few girls approached him. What looked like fangirls being all over him was actually a few haters making sure that they let Reece know how much they hated him. But unfortunately for his bandmates, it looked like he was hogging all the female attention and they let him know that in a not so friendly way.
------
As they returned home, Reece overheard his bandmates talking about him.
“He’s always surrounded by the girls” James huffed.
“Does he even know how much hate the band is getting?” Barclay sighed.
“He probably doesn’t even get any. He is always so loved by the girls” Charlie mumbled.
“You guys can’t be serious…” Reece exclaimed.
“Boys enough… Reece, just get ready for the party.” Tom waved off Reece’s protests.
“I’m not going” Reece snapped.
“I’ve had enough of your attitude. If you don’t want to go then so be it” Tom yelled at the boy as they all left.
------
Reece had already been feeling quite depressed and the boys snapping at him like that made situation even worse. As soon as the boys left, Reece tried to calm himself down by cutting but the harsh words and the negative thoughts was just not getting out of his minds. And it actually pushed him to feeling quite suicidal. He grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills and was prepared to just kill himself but before that he went on twitter and left a kind of goodbye note.
@ReeceBibby: The hate affects people more than you can even think of. I tried to explain myself so many times but I can’t win with you guys. I’m done now boys. Goodbye!
------
The party turned out to be pretty frustrating for the boys. Almost every of their friends pointed out at the problems within the band. They all felt it weird that the Stereo Kicks left Reece home and the boys started to feel a bit guilty about it. Charlie didn’t really feel too good about the whole situation about Reece and he wanted to return home.
“Boys, I don’t feel too good. I just want to go home” Charlie said.
Jake nodded, pulling his phone out to call for the car when he noticed Reece’s tweet.
“Something’s wrong with Reece.” Jake exclaimed.
Tom took one look at the tweet and they were all rushing home only to find Reece with a bottle of sleeping pills about to end his life.
------
“Don’t you dare” Tom shouted.
“Why shouldn’t I? You’ll all be better off without me” Reece snapped.
“Reecey, please. We’re sorry but don’t do this” Charlie pleaded.
“Reece, we were wrong to shout at you or blame you but you can’t do this” Barclay said.
“Yeah, buddy. We’re at fault. Punish us, don’t punish yourself” Casey added.
“You thought I didn’t know about the hate? I’m the one who can’t handle hate, remember? I tried cutting myself but it just didn’t help. These sleeping pills will help. Please let me go” Reece sobbed.
“Reece, drop those sleeping pills now” Jake scolded the boy.
Diving forward, James managed to snatch the bottle from the boy with a sharp, “let go.”
“We’re so sorry kiddo. We’re so sorry” Chris apologized as they all pulled Reece in a hug.
“Listen to me here Reece. We’ve all been awful to each other and especially to you. But you can’t kill yourself over this. We pushed you to this, right? So give us a chance to make things alright now? Let’s all try and be better bandmates huh? Let’s get back to being a family” Tom asked, crouching down in front of the boy.
Reece wasn’t too sure about this but somehow, he found that he still trusted the boys. So he nodded and let Tom pull him in a safe and comforting hug.
------
This incident had been a rude wake up call for the boys. They can’t let the hate, insecurities and frustrations get to them and make them hurt their own bandmate in the process. They, unknowingly, had pushed Reece to being done with themselves, with everything and now, they were slowly picking up the pieces of what could have gone seriously wrong. But this wakeup call was enough for the boys to understand that such an incident can’t happen again.
------
A/N
Sorry for the delay. Hope you all like it.
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Is TAXATION THEFT
(SHOTS OF ME OPENING A LETTER)
Mmm Money.
Oh hello there, Badmouse, I was just enjoying the sweet sweet smell of the British Payslip, nah its pretty bland, this one here’s from a job I had about 2 years ago, ah memories, memories, memories….
(Sees Tax)
I’ve been stolen from.
£50 taken from me! Money that I don’t even get to decide how it gets spent, 1 vote every 5 years out of 2 preselected jerks every 5 years I wouldn’t call a great turnaround.
We don’t tolerate thieves coming into our houses and stealing our prized possessions, why do we allow the Federal government to do the same?
(British Mouse appears)
We don’t have a Federal Government in Britain, you poser twat.
Rational Mouse: Maybe I can be of assistance.
Its not really ‘THEFT’ though is it?
Its a lot less of this “Gimmie your money, of you’ll die!”
And a lot more of this “Gimme your money, and I’ll give you, Mrs Piggy Winkle.
IrM:
Still Theft Buddy! If one man steals from you, is that Theft? What about 5? What if they buy the man a hamburger and give him a vote? Is that not still the…
MYOPIA
———————————————
RM:
This is Myopic and Archaic guff dude
(Irrational Mouse Gasps)
This isn’t how the form of governance we now inhabit came to be anyway, its like that Who will Pick the Cotton without slaves analogy when you compare it to Roads.
Its conflating a systemic transport basis, to a generalised commodity thats sold many times over.
They’re not the same thing, theres a very obvious reason why business prefers state run roads the same way industrialised economies prefer state run schools. You’re sort of neglecting why these things came to emerge in the first place.
Is it it any coincidence that most of the toll roads started being gutted when Feudalism came to a close?
IrM:
Who even are you?
RM:
Oh, I’m RATIONAL MOUSE
IrM:
So that means I’m…
(RM does the Jack Nicolson eyebrows)
IRRATIONAL MOUSE…
Well thats not fair is it?
RM:
Look just read the script bud, y’know how it ends
IrM:
Fucking writers, you don’t do anything…
RM:
Excuse me
IrM:
The state has been showcased to be an incredibly inefficient, bureaucratic nightmare, that can never innovate like the market can, it wastes too much of its money, I mean have you seen the state’s attempts to be cool, they couldn’t even make a Millennium Dome profitable.
EFFICIENCY
———————————————
RM:
Well you’re right on profits but apart from that its pretty much all Chicago School taft
(IrM gasps)
So many of us have a distrust for the public sector these days, its really no wonder seeing as for the past 40 years men in suits have done an active push of erasing the private sector defects by blaming the state.
Quite interestingly, and surprisingly for a lot of leftists, the state sector is actually very efficient, especially when it comes to R&D.
IrM:
Blow me
RM:
No, I’m serious, wide spread free at the point of use services benefit amazingly from economics of scale.
https://newint.org/features/2015/12/01/private-public-sector
http://www.psiru.org/sites/default/files/2014-07-EWGHT-efficiency.pdf
Let me put it this way, what seems more efficient to you.
Have 10 businesses all competing to not to make the best product, but to win them over to you, you can’t just ask them. In order to do that you’ve gotta come up with some snazzy designs, aesthetically pleasing logos, a funky marketing gimmick, before long you’re spending so much dough in marketing you’re not even interested in helping people, just getting yourself seen.
Or
You could just have one org that does all of that stuff, it doesn’t need to compete.
Sounds to me like a lot of hands that could be spend doing R&D.
IrM:
Thats investment not waste, besides R&D is the definition of the private sector
…
Yea?
RM:
No. The private sector utilises R&D a lot, but effectively every piece of GPT was created in the public sector.
Yes Samsung made this phone, but who made the battery that goes in it?
Why is the state sector significant?
TIME. Companies flock new models of these out every year to keep the money train rolling, and most importantly keep faith with their shareholders. Makes them flimsy, crappy, liable to break.
But GPT takes decades not years to bring it up to commercial satisfaction. Do you really think that shareholders are gonna give you investment with the tagline of “Coming this summer. 2047”
Fact remains, we’ve had plenty of time to analyse the effects of the free-market and what we find is theres hardly any greater efficiency.
IrM:
You’re really getting off topic here, okay fine businesses want roads, the market isn’t as efficient as I thought, it doesn’t mean that taxes are moral.
WHY BASE AN IDEOLOGY AROUND IT?
—————————————————————
Fair enough, the government sure as hell does take my money through a warm gun doesn’t it?
But for the vast majority of us… its really small, like in my pay check I only lost 1/20th of my monthly income, and sure its annoying not being able to spend that on the latest gamer game or a lush soap but I am getting free healthcare, an education, a polli… I’m getting firemen, ROADS, libraries, Society.
If thats worth £50 a month then fuck me daddy I’m ready.
(BRITISH MOUSE gasps)
Point here is, you’ve got no semblance basing your entire ideology around something so insignificant, especially when the majority of us will not be owners we’ll be workers and buyers.
Now I’m no normie, I know that a lot of this just goes on corporate warfare, IMF loans, and bailouts. But I recognise that thats part of the system we live in and sadly we have to hang on to what we’ve got whilst the very government I am under is selling it all off to the highest bidder. Don’t want things getting worse do I?
IrM:
Yeahh its not a significant thing to base your ideology around, but you’re not getting the point, Taxation is still THEFT!
RM:
Ok.
IrM:
(Puzzled) eh… No, Taxation is Theft.
RM:
Well at this point does anyone care about the views of an An-cap.
Come back to reality dude.
(Blinding light)
IrM:
The right of a man to own his own own property is a right ordained by common natural law prerequisite to our beings here on earth, through the self-ownership of a person’s own oneself, by natural exclusivity to the creation of ethics and rule of law, as prescribed in first principles, to disagree is literal rape and medieval iceland an…
RM:
Alright I get it, you want a wibbly wobbly philosophical answer.
Look I could the Positive/Negative rights shit if you want, Kant and Moral hierarchies if we want, I really don’t think folks give a damn about that right now, besides theres probably better people who could do that job than me (Olly)
I think when the dust has settled it all comes down to taxes being negligible compared to what you defend.
IrM:
Huh?
RM:
Exploited Labour
IrM:
Huh, there is no exploitation, if I want someone to pick my potatoes…
EXPLOITATION IN 45 SECONDS
A man has £10 worth of Capital, he uses this to buy raw materials. He pays a wood turner to turn this wood into a chair worth £50. For this he pays the labourer £10.
The turner therefore has to make 5 chairs in this arrangement in order to buy 1 of them for himself. You don’t gotta be a genius to see theres a disconnect going on here…
Remember my old pay check? I made about £1000 a month, Now as you…
IrM:
Why do you keep leaving? I’m in here?
RM:
I got £1000 a month, in an average day we made £1500 worth of goods, generally there were 3 people there each day. Divided by all of us thats £500 each. Now I’m gonna be super generous and say that only half of that is profit, that brings us up to a daily average of £250, but I only saw £60.
Whats going on here?
IrM:
You decided to take that job…
RM:
No I didn’t it beats eating ass omelettes for a living.
I’m not denying its very liberal estimate it is, but £190 is a lot of money that I literally get no say in how its spent, I’m sure a lot of it would of have to have gone back into my employment or taken out as more taxes, but its not the specific amount I’m interested in, the point is I get no say my labour power, I don’t even get a vote, best I can do is fuck my boss.
If we drag this out to a month, thats £3000, I’m getting screwed.
And this, this small little number, is what we consider… THEFTTTTTTTTTTTT.
Those Chicago boys were good.
IrM:
You can… You can start your own business…
RM:
Majority will always be workers not owners.
IrM:
Not if everyone decided to save up their money and open one
RM:
Nobody’s going to buy your cigars if they’ve quit smoking to sell you cigars.
PAUSE
And don’t think I’d stop there, I’d consider RENT theft too, think of all the money we spend so just existing in buildings, somehow I don’t think it costs half our pay checks to have personal washing machine fixers.
IrM:
But its their property
RM:
O RLY?
IrM:
Yes, if they weren’t allowed to do that then they wouldn’t bother, nobody would be able to find anywhere to rent
RM:
And maybe if jesus had been hanged we’d all be kneeling over a fucking gibbet.
IrM:
Wa.httt??
RM: Theres a reason I think why we call them American Libertarians. See if you pick up a copy of Adam Smiths stuff you’ll notice that he’s not the pastiche we think of him as.
Check this out…
“The landlords like any other men, love to reap where they never sowed, and demand a rent even from its nature produce”
Now I’m not saying BOOM Smith’s a lefty, the point is he didn’t view Capitalism as great just because, he was looking at it based in his experience of the system as it existed in Britain.
But America has a very different history to us Anglos, the entire nation was founded upon a certain hatred of taxes, and tea.
BM:
Actually it never really was about the taxes, they just wanted to own the slaves whole sale, didn’t want old money controlling the colonies so they could …
And when you take the views of this man, and throw it into the melting pot of Exceptionalism and Capital, you get all sorts of zany concepts, like the Self-Made man, The U-turned addict, the Noble Christian, and above all the cult of the founders.
They’re dead, they’re not going to sleep with you, I’m sorry.
So what of it? Is Taxation theft? Sure, but its not worth basing your life around it.
We all think the Capitalist process is just the general flow of life but its very recent, Medieval Ireland and Iceland don’t compare guys, and at the heart of that system is Exploitation, something that we all as a class deal with on a daily basis, and gain nothing from. One might argue, Taxes on business are a trade off for what they get from us.
I know when you first get into politics its juicy to claim theft over a little bite out of your salary, but we only see it that way because its… literally right in front of us, there isn’t a spare column that counts your total labour value.
We shouldn’t get so pissed off over the pennies scraped off instead of the huge overhead.
IrM:
Well, guess you got me there.
RM:
The circle is complete
BM:
I must say it really is a very American thing this whole Taxation, not good business isn’t it rather?
RM:
Well at least we don’t live in a socialist country… like FRANCE!
Yeah thats like 2, 3, 4 personas in 1 video, I could start an extended universe.
BOOM
RAWRRRRRRRR
Oh what now?
I’M THE LATE FOR TRENDS GUY, FEMINISM IS CANCER!
nope nope.
WAIT, STOP, SOMEONE GIVE ME AN OPINION!
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MHA ROMANCE HCS !
IZUKU !
- i feel like he writes you love letters :((
- you go to sit at your desk and there’s a folded up piece of paper in your chair that say smth along the lines of him telling you how much he loves you and to take care of urself.
- LOVES when u kiss his hands
- no matter how long you guys have been tgth, i feel like he’ll always get butterflies no matter what you do.
- giggling at your phone?
- butterflies.
- yawn after just getting up?
- butterflies.
- look thru the window out of boredom?
- MF BUTTERFLIES.
- i think he gets flustered rlly easily.
- whenever he’s around you, he never fails to stutter and start stumbling over his words.
- “hey izuku! have you eaten tdy?”
- “wh-what? oh! yeah, i-i had s-soba with soba- i mean-! shoto-“
- so cute :(
- nicknames for you are things like baby, love, babe, sunshine (ik u guys are thinking it so-) and puppy.
KATSUKI !
- he tries to act like he’s not in love w you but it’s so obvious
. - everything you do, no matter what it is, he’s watching you with heart eyes.
- i don’t think he’d write you love letters, but i think he does little things to remind u how much he loves u.
- he’ll probably text you a heart with no context tbh.
- “<3”
- “what’s that for? :))”
- “stfu, you know why.”
- man is not good w words omg.
- it’s ok tho, bc u know he loves u
- gods forbid someone is looking at u a way he doesn’t like.
- man has NO filter.
- “tf you looking at them like that for?”
- “katsuki. stop.”
- (for the girls) i think if you were having rly bad cramps, he’d heat up his hands a bit and lay them on ur tummy like a makeshift heating pad :(<3
- sometimes he makes u mad on purpose bc he thinks ur so hot when u yell at him.
- i also think that he lowk likes being little spoon :P
- u guys can be cuddling and he starts moving and before u know it BAM he’s little spoon.
- “suki..?”
- “sthu.”
- his hands are on u constantly, no matter what ur doing.
- waist, thigh, knee, shoulder, hand.
- he just has to be touching you
nicknames for you i think would obvi be like dumbass (ofc), maybe babe or just like ur actual nickname if u have one LMAO. i’m sry i just don’t think this mf would call u teddy bear
TODOROKI !
- AHHHHHHHHH
- blushy baby i just know it
- despite that, he does everything he can to make u feel loved, bc he never rly was.
- the first time you held him and told him you loved him, he almost cried. lmao scratch that, he did.
- lowk feel like he’s poetic. like, he write poems abt u.
- he has such a way w words.
- little spoon majority of the time.
- he just likes to be held.
- he learned how to do ur fav hairstyles bc he likes helping u.
- “where’d you learn to braid?”
- “i just watched u.”
- man can COOK.
- he loves making u lunch.
- learns to make ur fav foods, and puts them in the fridge to surprise u randomly.
- “shoto, you don’t have to cook for me everyday yk?”
- “but i wanna :/ ”
- loves holding ur hands <33
- he touches ur face a lot and just adores u randomly.
- “sho? what are u doing?”
- “ur gorgeous.. did u know that?”
nicknames for u would be baby, love or just ur name LMAO.
KIRISHIMIA !
- oh he loves u and is NOT afraid to show it.
- kisses on the cheek randomly and leaves u like AKNDURB
- thinks u do everything so beautifully
- “wait, do that again!”
- “wh-? huh? do what?”
- “look to the right and then look back at ur phone!”
- “HUH?”
- just like shoto, i feel like he’s kinda poetic too.
- writes u poems and shares them w u.
- they always have u like :,) bc the way he words everything is so beautiful
- when u guys cuddle, he’s always big spoon.
- he just wants the whole word to know he luvs u
- don’t gmw, love still needs reassurance all the time.
- he doesn’t actually say it, but u can tell.
- “yk i love you right?”
- he immediately perks up.
- “ofc! i love you too baby!”
nicknames for u r like baby, babe, bub, king/prince,queen,princess, royalty. he’s just so cute
__
that’s it ! hope u enjoyed <3
#mha fanfiction#mha headcanons#deku x reader#midoriya x reader#deku headcanons#midoriya headcanons#bakugou x reader#bakugou headcanons#bakugou imagine#todoroki x reader#todoroki imagine#todoroki headcanons#todoroki fanfiction#kirishima imagine#kirishima headcanons#kirishima x reader#mha fluff#midoriya fluff#deku fluff#bakugou fluff#todoroki fluff#kirishima fluff
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