two years ago today the funniest thing happened, and if the stars align again the second funniest thing will happen

It's the two year anniversary of the Suez Canal incident, and now it's time to remind everyone that I wrote a Suez Canal x nonbinary Ever Given fic here, and it is a piece of true artistry.

Some highlights:

Today's problematic ships are the Burri and the BW Lesmes

The Burri and the BW Lesmes are an oil tanker and a liquified natural gas tanker, respectively. About 25 minutes ago as of writing this, around 0200 local time on August 23, 2023, they collided in the Suez canal.

Source

Dear Sabezra shippers,

I see you frantically searching for evidence and desperately analyzing dialogue and poring over body language and tone and microexpressions, basically turning yourselves into that Charlie Day meme as you battle to prove this ship might not be platonic despite Ezra referring to Sabine as his "sister" and—

Hey. Listen to me.

It's okay. Relax. It doesn't have to be canon for you to enjoy it. Just ship it. Ship it like FedEx. It's okay. I promise. You have shipped them for all these years and loved it. Keep on doing that. Write your fics. Share your headcanons. Draw your art. Make your gifs. It doesn't have to be canon for you to enjoy it. Don't be anguished or dismayed by new canon. You can ignore it. Don't feel like you have to prove to the world that your ship is canon before you can ship it. Ships are not automatically better or more powerful just because they're canon, and you don't have to justify your reasons for shipping anything. Your ship doesn't have to be canon in order for you to love it.

Sure, it's awesome to see two characters you've shipped for years end up together in canon. But it's not going to be the end of the world if they don't. And it shouldn't stop you, either.

Are certain people going to be mean to you because you ship Sabezra? Maybe. Block and ignore them.

Are certain people going to accuse you of shipping a "badwrong ship" because they see it as "problematic" or it doesn't fit with their character headcanons? Possibly. Block and ignore them.

Haters are gonna hate. Should you correct them, try to change their minds? No. It's a waste of time and energy, and you have better ways of spending both. Like enjoying your ship, no matter what canon delivers.

Don't let canon ruin the fun you've been having in this fandom. Because at the end of the day, it's all just a bunch of space wizards and light swords anyway.

Sincerely,

Someone whose ships are never going to be canon but that hasn't stopped me yet

The Suez Canal

NO FUCKING WAY

h e l p this picture book about container shipping has an ever given reference

kudos to you, kelly rice schmitt, this made my whole damn day

praying to david jenkins that there will be a moment in season 2 where ed runs his ship aground and then in an attempt to free it izzy runs a second ship aground

The Suez Canal would never have been blocked by the Ever Given if we simply used the Infinite Improbability Drive.

Fuck’s sake.

Sure it may have teleported the whole ship to the Cornerworld but still.

But it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny if it were so quickly resolved.

Idk.

maybe they shouldnt make ships so fucking huge it can block or destroy crucial public infrastructure

Okay, but season 1 episode 09 of Rizzoli & Isles?! The way Jane soothingly touches Maura's arm and how Maura reacts with this very specific look, this precious combination of surprise and wonder and tenderness for Jane?! The way they sit at home and Jane reassures Maura she doesn't have one single evil bone in her body and how they hold hands so intimately?! And then the lighter scene at the very end, when they join some plumbing business with Jane's father and brother behind the bar, how Maura reaches out her hand to touch Jane,and how Jane reciprocates that gesture and it just looks so very domestic and sweet and natural?! I am going FERAL I ship them so hard it blocks the Suez canal

everybody shut up about that submarine im sick of hearing abt it

Today's problematic ship is the Xin Hai Tong 23

The Xin Hai Tong 23 is a 189 m bulk carrier. On May 25, 2023, she ran aground while transiting the Suez Canal. At least four other vessels had to stop and wait. The Xin Hai Tong 23 was freed by tugs the same day. This is at least the fourth such incident starting from when the Ever Given blocked the canal for six days in March-April 2021. That blockage help up almost $10 billion in trade.

Tanker firms halt Red Sea traffic after U.S. strikes Houthi militants

truly i do not think i can possibly overstate the extent to which Everything Is Platonic in this house