Thinking about how few shits Stede gives about the distress of the crew really makes the bathtub scene hit even fucking harder like Lucius keeled over in front of him and he was just annoyed fuckery rehearsal was interrupted but Ed has a flashback and panics and he breaks open his own fucking door and sinks to his knees beside him and says Ed’s name in the tenderest voice and I am oN fIrE

Oh you’re dying Lucius? Inconvenient and rude. Ed is upset?!?! Fuckery, what fuckery ARE YOU OK EDWARD would you feel better if I tell you that you’re good at maiming people please don’t cry I’ll forgive you for planning to murder me I’ll do anything to stop you looking so desperately sad let me just touch you gently let me make it better

god I truly love the red suit (because it's hot obviously and i am not immune), but also because of the glimpse it gives us into stede and where he's at halfway through s2 (thee season of change and growth).

he's been wearing the same shabby, stained white shirt all season so far because he left everything he owned behind, and he hasn't complained once about ed throwing all his favorite clothes overboard, because nothing was more important than finding ed and finally being able to tell him how he felt about him, and I'm so proud of stede for that bit of growth. the white shirt is symbolic of that growth, of his willingness to put ed and the crew first, of him not needing all his physical belongings anymore because he has people to care about now, he doesn't need things.

but he likes them, and the way his whole face lights up when he sees the red suit and he stops to put it on in the middle of a raid (and almost gets stabbed for it) is so stede. he's grown but he still loves his fancy clothes, he loves bright colors and frills and buttons and gold thread. growing doesn't mean he has to stop loving those things, and that's such an important thing for the show to say, especially given where stede is in his journey of self discovery this season. he's still allowing himself to enjoy those things in spite of the undercurrent of fear of not being good enough and self hatred that thrums under the surface since the opening of episode 1 (and eventually leads him to kill a man and get progressively more butch in his outfit choices as the season progresses). i LOVE that he gets to have that, that he gets to feel hot and pose in front of the mirror and strut around all day (and that he gets to be a righteous bitch when the crew destroys the suit).

it's such a realistic representation of someone on a journey of self discovery, of someone who's figuring out what he's worth and why he's loveable and what he likes and will allow himself to like and how he will allow himself to present in front of others. and he gives it away because he loves his little piratical family and wants to keep them happy, but he still got to enjoy that, and he still looked great in just the red shirt with a low neckline and black lace all over it (and he got a "you wear fine things well" for it!!!!!!! ed saw and he understood what it meant to stede and stede got to hear that!!!!!! I'm kissing the show on the lips).

i still feel some type of way about the teal shirt and the leather pants and everything they say about his state of mind throughout episodes 6-8, and i feel fifty more things about him finally being able to have his romantic fantasy come true and know that he's loved in the color that represents repression and being forced to perform a type of masculinity that's been destructive for him his whole life (as I've said before). I think it was insanely symbolic and important for him to be able to wear that particular outfit at that particular time and stay in it for the entire finale.

but. BUT. i can't wait to see what becomes of Stede's gender expression when he has time to rebuild his wardrobe, when he's not running around trying to keep everyone safe or prove he has worth, when he starts to realize and embrace that he doesn't have to be a certain kind of man for people to respect him and for ed to love him. i can't wait to see the choices he makes when he's finally free to choose. I think s3 might kill me yall

I don’t care that it’s been months; I’m still thinking of how to tighten up s2 and make it have literally any narrative impact/emotional growth. So here’s my chopped and screwed s2 rewrite that nobody fucking asked for, PART ONE:

The big, overarching change is that Ned Lowe is the BBEG of s2. We’re saving Zheng and, more pertinently, Prince Ricky for s3 (that’s definitely happening in my world, shhh). This gives weightier narrative stakes to the Kraken era, since the looming problem is predicated on Ed’s actions – much like the Badmintons as BBEGs in s1 were based in Stede’s actions/past.

The season begins the same: the trauma crew are raiding every day, never making port. The Kraken is making everyone’s lives difficult. They break Ned Lowe’s record, but it doesn’t seem to matter (also Lucius is hiding in the walls of the revenge, causing even more stress and probably trying to haunt Ed. Let’s add a little levity.)

Stede and co in the ROP. Stede’s bartending at Jackie’z and hears someone talking about blackbeard… but they’re being very complimentary. Calling him “fascinating,” “a dedicated man” – not the kind of language that Stede’s gotten used to arguing about. Who’s this gent who seems to actually GET Ed? His name is Ned Lowe, and he’s looking for his old pal blackbeard.

Stede and the crew hitch a ride out of the ROP with Ned, since they all have the same goal – finding Blackbeard. Besides, Ned is genteel. He seems to have the same sort of appreciation for finer things that Stede has, and it’s nice to see after spending so much time cleaning up vomit at Jackie’z. Maybe Stede and Ned have a dinner in the captain’s cabin a la Barbarossa and Elizabeth Swann in the first PotC… everything is grand and well laid out, but something is very wrong. Stede tries to ignore this, but his “this guy is bad news” senses from being a gentleman are tingling.

Meanwhile, back on the trauma ship, Jim is trying not to mourn Oluwande. They’re very “everyone I’ve ever loved is dead; why would he be any different?” They’ve thrown themselves into pirating as a way to double down on their hardened I Am Vengeance persona, and this growing thing with Archie as a rebound.

Leg thing/Frenchie is first mate now/crazy storm thing/let’s kill Blackbeard are all the same. Except Lucius is there, probably spending a lot of time hiding with drunk/sick Izzy (there’s some hurt/comfort in both directions, as much as izzy can be lucid for it). He also shows up for that final shot of the crew looking down at Ed while Jim hefts the cannonball. Ed’s not worried about hallucinating anymore; he’s finally about to die!

It’s Ned’s ship (plus Stede et al) that comes across the storm wreck of the Revenge. Our crew still has to escape over to their old ship, not because anyone found Ed’s corpse but because Izzy, in a moment of clarity, is like oh shit, Ned Lowe is super bad news, we have to get the fuck out of here right now. This way we get the beginning of a basis of trust between Izzy and Stede, since Stede listens to the insistence of the Trauma Crew and takes Izzy’s advice on when to get out of a bad situation.

Gravy Basket happens.

Someone (Lucius?) tells Stede that Ed’s body is still onboard. MerStede happens.

Jim is extremely overwhelmed that Olu is alive. The two of them have a very sweet romantic reunion. They confess to Olu about Archie, but insist that she was just a rebound. Archie tries to laugh the whole thing off – it’s fine! This didn’t matter! Shit things are bound to happen to everyone! Jim feels mega guilty and starts to realize that maybe it wasn’t just a rebound – they might actually care for Archie.

The uicorn leg half of “fun and games” is pretty much the same, the big division between the crews being that The Trauma Crew wants to banish or straight up kill Ed, but they’re still very much being chased by Ned Lowe. Stede’s crew insists that getting distance here is more important than adjudicating that mess.

We do all still come together to give Izzy his new leg.

Ed is locked in some kind of makeshift brig, making everyone tetchy and uncomfortable. Except for Stede, of course, who sees this as his chance to explain himself to LITERALLY captive audience Ed. Stede has the “I love everything about you” scene with him there, and explicitly tells Ed that he didn’t go to the dock bc of Chauncey (holy shit, how does he never fucking bring that up in the actual s2). Ed is moved but not convinced to forgive Stede… yet. They do the hand holding thing here, but don’t have the conversation about taking it slow. Instead, offering his hand thru the bars of the brig is the only thing Ed does to show that he’s heard Stede and is considering forgiving him.

The other half of this episode is the crews re-integrating emotionally. Jim/Olu/Archie explicitly discuss their relationship structure. Jim can be with both of them. Lucius and Pete get to have a moment about how Pete thought Lu was dead; Lucius admits that he kind of thought he was too, since all he did was hide and hang out with a guy who was too delirious to even really recognize him.

Somehow we still get Ed in that catboy collar. Nonnegotiable.

Part two incoming…

How did Stede leave pirating so easily?

So in the space of 2 episodes, Stede goes from being "the motherfucking man" to an innkeeper, and there's really not *much* in between there--all his scenes are primarily about other characters in the finale. So I wanted to rant about what I think fills in this gap.

Why did Stede become a pirate in the first place? Well, because he wanted to be a "real boy." He wanted to have a life that felt like his own, a life that wasn't swaddled in comfort (completely, at least). He wanted to break the monotony, the despair of a life without room for deep emotions or agency. And he became a certain kind of pirate because he wanted to be someone important and good in the lives of others, not just a marginal figure.

But why did Stede become a pirate the second time?

Ed.

Sure, there were other reasons: he didn't belong with his family anymore, didn't fit in his old life, and trying to have his cake (having run away) and eat it too (coming back) was just hurting everyone. He changed, and they changed, and a foundational truth of this show is that you can't change back.

But the reason he didn't belong with his family anymore was that he had gotten his original wish. He'd become a "real boy," someone who felt things deeply, who didn't need to keep one foot in his old life by hanging onto his wealth. He'd become important and valued in the lives of his crew, which they demonstrated when Chauncy challenged his right to the Act of Grace

But the moment Stede crosses the line forever between his old life and his new one is when he tells Mary "his name is Ed."

When Stede leaves, he falls in with the marooned crew--but he spends more time pining for Ed then talking to them. There's a place for him with his crew, and he fits in it, and we see in E5-6 that he cares deeply about doing right by them.

But neither Ed nor Stede fully fit into the crew when everyone's back together. Ed's caught up in his own self-reckoning, and Stede's splitting attention between the crew and Ed. In a way, they've outgrown Stede: they no longer need his help to enable the community on the ship. They've reached a point where they can deal with the conflicts in E4 by themselves, can absorb Archie and then Izzy and give both of them space to relax and integrate. They like having Stede as captain, but they don't need him anymore. In E7, Stede takes Olu leaving as a betrayal, but even that goes back to Stede being more focused on Ed than on the crew, and acting out over hurt feelings from a fight.

The only thing left that Stede can only get through piracy is the lure of fame. And that's a real perk--Stede genuinely enjoys his taste of infamy in E7. It's fun, it's a fulfillment of a childhood dream.

But it's also hollow, and it's a trap. It's hollow because Bill isn't Stede's real friend, and the loss of Steak Knife wasn't worth Stede dying by challenging Zheng (nor was Stede's ego worth Steaky's death, but that's another thing). And it's a trap because Stede really is a terrible pirate. Stede has to deal with the pirate world without Ed three times during the show. The first time, the Spanish almost kill him; the second time, Spanish Jackie almost maims him; the third time, he challenges Zheng to a duel and refuses to back down, then tries to "ambush" British officers who kick his butt. Stede's fantastic when he stays in his lane of nontraditional piracy, but if he became a really successful traditionally infamous pirate, he'd no longer be Stede.

So Stede doesn't need the infamy of success as a pirate, any more than he needs is pretty clothes (though he likes both). Stede doesn't need to stay a pirate to keep his relationship with the crew, and they don't need him either. Stede doesn't need to go out and be a pirate to feel real things, or think he's "adequate" enough for his father.

But Stede does need to give his relationship with Ed a real chance, to be what they want it to be. And Ed just cannot be a pirate anymore--there's too much damage and pain. Plus, living on the ship, their lives in danger all the time, heightening everything, pushing their actions out of their control. Their relationship was crushed under that pressure in S2, and it's still a pretty fragile thing. They need space and time. And by leaving the ship, they can have it.

For Stede, piracy meant belonging, love, and fulfillment.

He has those things now: He's got Ed. He doesn't need piracy anymore.

So I've said my part about ofmd season 2s finale and that I didn't even care anymore that my favourite character died, but the show had such an insane decline from season 1 to season 2 it was simply not as enjoyable for the entire time.

So here's a quick critique of open issues that stuck with me:

-they killed Ivan off-screen and he's only mentioned once in passing, no one cares or questions where he is when they meet again, they were fine with Izzy there, but didn't even bother asking about a crew member they were much closer with -Buttons turned into a seagull (which I didn't think was bad) and it's only questioned once by Roach and then never again brought up, and Roach asks if Ed didn't simply kill him and it's just ignored -Ed doesn't really become part of the crew, he doesn't pay up for what he did and why is Izzys deathbed apology more sincere than Ed's non apology about Izzys leg? He doesn't deserve to come back at all, because he doesn't do anything to earn it. He spends a day with Fang and that counts for the whole crew, Fang who isn't even angry at him -Izzy actually earns his place within the crew and still has to apologize to Ed, his worst abuser. Sure Izzy was part of the problem with Blackbeard, but in no way does it justify what Ed did to him (and everyone else while he was Captain of the Revenge) -remember last season when Ed made it clear that he only ever killed one person, and then in the finale he coldly pushed Lucius over and it was therefore a big deal? Yeah Ed just randomly kills like it's nothing now, and "go back to what you were good at", it wasn't killing, Ed was never good at killing

-they barely paid attention to the non ships aside from Izzy and it sucks. We had such a wonderful balance in season 1 of crew live, that we got to love them all, we didn't have any of that in season 2, it's so plain when you look at Archie, she just didn't get what her crewmates got to the point you don't care about her all that much -speaking of Archie, that relationship something with Olo, JIm, Archie and Zhang Yi Sao was a mess, they sank of the biggest relationships from season 1, which had such a well done ark in the first episodes, and many, myself included thought we might get a poly relationship, but we didn't, we got the mess we had. We had a well developed relationship that took an entire season to build and it got removed during the first three episodes in favour of two new underdeveloped characters getting with them in no time

-I know we are not historically accurate and don't bother too much with it, but Zheng Yi Sao is the most powerful female pirate in history and they nerved her for nothing, I did like how Richard got rid of her fleet, but they should have used someone else than a pirate known for dying peacefully because she got so powerful she made a deal

-the pacing was obviously bad, and I want to give them as much nicety about it as possible, but Owl House got cut from an entire season to three episodes and they still manged to nail it, ofmd lost 2 episodes and it doesn't excuse this pacing

-honestly Izzys redemption ark was rushed, just so he could be killed off, it was too much, too fast. I do love the first few episodes of him, but doing drag was a bit far fetched for episode 6, but it's a small complain, loved the singinig and dancing

-"bottle it up" is the new solution to problems, after "talk it through as a crew" from season 1. Lucius, Frenchie and Izzy just bottle everything up and nothing bad comes of it, we're supposed to believe that's a good thing? -everyone knows Stede is alive, Mary relies on him being dead and it's never brought up or important whatsoever

-this season feels like there aren't proper consequences, Ed can leave and come back and it's fine, Buttons can turn into a seagull and no one cares, Auntie gets blown up with the fleet and survives, people get stabbed multiple times and survive, but Izzy gets shot and dies, it's all over the place -there is always the whole: we have a suicidal character, they try to kill themselves, they fail, they get over their depression, they finally get happy, and we kill them off just after they found happyness. It sucks as a trope, it gives every last person that is suicidal the feeling that being happy is not worth it, because you're going to die anyway and well, maybe don't have the characer that tried to kill himself this season a line about wanting to go and in the same episode that had "it's only suicide if we die", it's tasteless at best and ill-intended at worst

-Roach is in the main cast now, but I swear he had more scenes in season 1 than seaosn 2

-having a tiny funeral scene and bam wedding, like there was no decent emotional impact on either of these moments, any why would they bury him without his leg or ring?

-Stede has a panic moment when he kills Ned and it seems like that's why he and Ed slept togeher, but it's not brought up that killing is still an issue

To end it on a few positive notes, I liked -Swede becomes Jackies husband and Roach going Mrs Bettet about the whole thing -most of the first three episodes in general -Buttons turning into a seagull and being recognized as a seawitch -having more historical figures -Auntie -Susan (mostly) aside from the issue I brought up -Wee John getting into knitting -Izzy sining and dancing -the entire leg arch of Izzy -pretty much all Izzy/Stede interactions -Frenchie sceming again and the rest all going with it -indigo! -everyones new looks -Fang going fishing and his and Roachs spa day -the after credit scenes -Ed freaking out because Stede moved too fast -Stede having a killing flashback when killing Ned Low -Spanish Jackie in general, but especially poisoning everyone and getting Swede a new look -Richard as the main antagonist -Clocks -Stede getting Hellcat Maggie and the to mutiny -the entire cast was amazing

And I shouldn't have to say this, but: don't harass people over this, critiquing is fine, threats are not. And no it's not bury your gays, everyone here is gay and that is not one of the issues this season had.

ok. ok. here goes:

the reason why I want Izzy Hands to get a redemption arc / happy ending is because I think it would be good for both him *and* Ed. hear me out.

Izzy’s easy. He wants the peace, safety, and stability of their life under the Blackbeard flag; but he needs to learn to put Ed’s well-being ahead of his own self-interest. A fairly simple character arch.

Ed’s slightly more complicated.

Smarter people than me have already pointed out that Ed always adjusts his behaviour to fit the expectations of whoever he’s talking to. He has a conflicted relationship with his Blackbeard identity - tired of it, willing to abandon it, and yet fiercely protective of “the brand” and the way it is misinterpreted and exaggerated by others. His most prized possession - the piece of red silk - is a reminder of his own mother telling him he isn’t adequate, isn’t worthy of certain things. And when he tries to reach for these things, this other sort of life - he is constantly shot down. First by the captured captain, then the aristocrats at the party and then, finally, by Stede himself.

Ed’s post-breakup spiral seems to be going well enough - but why would he expect it to last? How long until the crew begin to mock him, until Izzy abandons him too? I don’t think it’s fair to say that Ed felt physically threatened by Izzy, but he certainly didn’t want to be rejected and abandoned again. So he built up this new persona, new mask to hide behind, finally letting go of his hopes of this other life he could have. Where he could be happy, and enjoy fine things.

My point is: Ed made that choice. He chose to jump off the slippery slope. I think it’s doing his character a disservice to pretend that he was forced into becoming the Kraken, or that he is descending into madness.

One could argue that Ed should just stop caring about what people think about him, and live his best life. Stede had no problem doing just that - he is told that he’s inadequate, too soft, not a proper pirate, but he doesn’t compromise his own identity in response. No, he stands his ground and creates his own brand of piracy, following his own values and beliefs. But Stede is validated for his choices! During the climactic trial, he finally gets what he never had - social acceptance. His crew (his chosen family) embraces his identity, even though it doesn’t conform to any norms, and it’s a beautiful moment.

...of course he then has to confront how his choices affect those around him, but that’s a different matter entirely...

So. If Stede got accepted, why shouldn’t Ed get the same? I am personally glad they didn’t run away to China together, and hope their story doesn’t end with them all alone, no matter how seemingly happy they may be. Ed deserves a chosen family too, and he deserves to believe that he won’t get abandoned/rejected by them eventually.

...he also needs to make amends for the atrocities he committed. But I digress.

The point is: Izzy is important to Ed. Aside from Stede, that’s who he’s closest to within the show. During episode 3? 4? they spend the whole time throwing out bids for attention, that somehow pass unnoticed. They both lash out against the other - Izzy throws a fit and threatens to resign, Ed fucks with him by withholding crucial information, dismissing his fears and showing off. “See? You should have trusted me.” But it’s not a triumphant moment for Ed, is it? He made a fatal mistake - and Izzy’s the one who points it out. It’s a really nice bit, because it shows how great they used to be when they were a team. It would be nice if they got to be that again.

If Izzy dies as his pathetic evil self, Ed will never get closure on that relationship. He won’t get acceptance from someone who is this important to him. He won’t get an apology until Izzy learns the error of his ways. And while you could argue that Ed shouldn’t need any of these things, well - he isn’t wrong to want them.