I am NOT endorsing or promoting the use of any recreational drugs. Do NOT do drugs, they are bad. Anyway here's why I think ketamine is great

So a pretty common thing I've noticed among casual drug users is that they very often are for some reason TERRIFIED of ketamine. And this includes people who have done like, Ayahuasca or peyote which I personally am extremely apprehensive about. And I don't get it! I think K is a misunderstood old thing :(

Obviously it's not something I would recommend to anyone without experience of psychodelics. However I think even people who do have experience with psychodelics might have had negative experiences with ket simply because they don't know what to expect going in so they're caught off guard. It's NOT a psychodelic and it shouldn't be treated like one. It's NOT a party drug and it shouldn't be treated like one (at least not until you're used to it). It's a dissociative, which can be unfamiliar. But I sincerely find it like... Mild compared to acid?

I think it's about a) being careful with portions. People who are used to railing massive lines of blow assume that they can handle that with ket and rly to start you should be doing the tiniest bumps possible, you do not want to be trying for a K-Hole at first (I never do in general bc i like consciousness). You build tolerance very fast but always err on the side of less. Whatever you think you can handle, take some off.

b) creating the right environment. As I said, it's not a party drug. It's for chilling on the sofa with your favourite music and a good friend. Take all pressure off and make sure there's nothing you need to actually do. Don't combine it with any other drug (ESPECIALLY not acid!!!!)

c) having the right mindset going in. Two things about this, first the effects of ketamine are over fast. It always passes after a short while, and if you're aware of that you can relax and know you'll be okay because even if you don't like it you'll be fine soon, so you might as well just try and enjoy what you can. Second, as with any drug anxiety and overthinking will make it worse- typically in a situation where you feel like you're losing control I'd suggest trying to relax and find something pleasant about the sensation to focus on until you ride it out. That's why you should make absolutely sure you're in a position where nothing can happen to you except being conked out on the sofa for a while.

All this being said, what ARE the benefits? She's a weird one for sure, as I said it's a dissociative– this means that you kind of feel like you're outside your body. At higher doses people see their body from the ceiling and stuff but I don't think it's necessary to get to that level. At lower doses it's just floaty. Like with psychodelics music can sound like the best thing ever and conversations can be super deep/hilarious in a way that makes 0 sense later. Things, especially your body, can feel really cool and the way you see the world is just weird and different and interesting. I've tried a fair amount of "mainstream" drugs and the best/most enjoyable highs I've had have been with ketamine by far.

An interesting thing about ketamine is that there's not really any comedown nor hangover– unlike something like mdma you don't go through days of depression afterwards. Actually it's kind of the opposite, you can actually feel better about life and the world afterwards. The reason for this in my non-scientific opinion is that being momentarily detached from your body gives you a weird kind of outside perspective on life? And then when you're back on earth things just look different. It's honestly been helpful to me for processing specific things on occasion.

Obviously this is a recreational drug, not a cure for depression nor a long term emotional crutch and there ARE risks just like with any substance. I mentioned that you build tolerance quickly– for me this was an incentive to use infrequently because otherwise you start needing bigger doses to achieve the same effects. That doesn't mean it's impossible to create a dependency or that there might not be risks. Like anything, it's about being careful and safe and knowing your personal limits.

I am also not saying that everyone should go out and try ket. Certainly I would not recommend it to the average Tumblr user. I merely think that she's underrated and could potentially be enjoyed (in a responsible way 🥴) by people who have experience with and know they can handle LSD or shrooms or similar (NOT AT THE SAME TIME. DONT COMBINE KETAMINE AND LSD LOL u probably won't die but it won't be fun 😭). I think if you're used to the feeling of surrendering control for a while and Ur reasonable about dosage it's really like... much less extreme than acid. And can be rly rly fun especially with friends but it can also be nice alone!

Ship! Shitara and Aizen because YOU made me ship them!! :')

I MEANT SHUTARA!!

Send me a ship

Who was the one to propose: In a modern AU, it was actually Aizen. But in their canon timeline, it was Shu. Though more in the way, that she made the first step (getting into contact with him), and considering he is stuck in Muken, it was either her or no one. Meanwhile they never really got together, they just became a team, which is always on the verge of breaking apart, considering the way Aizen is. You really should not trust this bastard, and Shu is a smart woman, so being with him / working together with him was always rather nerve-wracking. 

Who stressed more over wedding planning:  No wedding sadly 😔 but if, it definitely would be Shu, she gonna manage everything but in all honesty, if they would srsly do such thing, then actually more in private... and actually, it would not be possible at all and sure would get her into trouble haha. 

Who decorated the house:  Shu, Aizen just gotta deal with it but I am sure, he won’t mind too much anyway as he probably got accustomed to the traditional style in Soul Society, or he won’t really care much anyway and if, it definitely won’t be the worst aesthetic. Plus the japanese style still can be very minimalistic, and considering he lived in Hueco Mundo and perhaps somewhat designed Las Noches, something more simple and harmonic seems more to his liking. Something easy for the eye. 

Who does the cooking:  Neither. Servants gotta do the job, and Shu does not eat much anyway. Someone make Aizen his desired salad, Tousen sadly no more there to cook for him.  

Who is more organized:  tough one, they both are for sure! 

Who initiates bedroom fun:  Shu... she is the more suggestive one, though it will remain an absolute rarity between them. It is quite intense tbh... 

Who suggested kids first:  Neither, but if they would be such a couple, bit more normal, then it would be Shu, more out of interest (scientific side showing here)

Who’s more dominant:  Aizen, it is simply almost impossible to get a upper hand with him, and I am actually taking about discussions here. Breaking his facade is simply not possible, his confidence will rarely if ever falter. 

Who’s the cuddler:  Neither. 

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:  scheming about SS’s future. 

Who comes home drunk at 3am:  Neither. 

Who kills the spiders:  Neither would bother, esp not Shu as she does not mind them much and will most likely not rly exist in the royal realm anyway haha. 

Who falls asleep first:  they both overwork and barely sleep, hard to tell. 

Their relationship summed up in a gif my words:  POWER COUPLE, lemme combine two of the strongest, smartest, shadiest ppl in bleach. 

Michael attempts suicide in the bathroom and jeremy finds him? I apologize. I'm a total slut for suffering.

Hi!! Thank you so much for the recommendation!! This fic is super long compared to my other one-shots I got rly into it lol. I hope you enjoy!!

I did some LIGHT research but not a ton so a large amount of this is NOT TRUE!! If you overdose on adderall, it is not possible to not get the side effect the nurse mentions. None of this is stated as scientific fact, it is all a writer twisting fact to fit their narrative - please keep this in mind!!

OBVIOUSLY A MASSSSIVE WARNING FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND DRUG OVERDOSES PLEASE STAY AWAY IF THATS BAD FOR YOU!

(Word Count : 1,933)

Michael stared in the mirror, the banging from outside becoming louder and louder in his eardrums. He watched the tears stream down his cheeks, breath getting caught in his throat as he struggled to keep himself upright. Thoughts raced through his head. Jeremy was out there - Jeremy was alone now. MICHAEL was alone now. He officially had no one ; he was officially…alone. Nothing he did had any significance. Nothing he did effected anyone, since no one was around him. His parents were constantly off on business trips, coming home once every six months if they even felt like it and sending him bills to pay for the house and food. He had no family. And with Jeremy gone, he no longer had any friends either. He didn’t have any animals - he wanted some like hell, but could never afford them, all considering. It was a shock the boy could keep up his weed habit, but it sometimes felt like smoking weed was the only thing keeping him sane. He felt his panic attack grow as his mind raced, his thoughts spitting out horrible, demeaning words. “Why don’t you just kill yourself…?” Something in the back of his head cooed, causing for his body to shiver. “We’re in a bathroom - Jake must have some pills somewhere. Open the cabinets.”Shakily, not even fully aware of his actions, Michael reached up. He ripped open the cabinet, ignoring the other side of his brain that begged him to be rational. He rooted through all of the medicine in the cabinet - ibuprofen wouldn’t do shit, and neither would the stupid childrens cough medicine. Michael knew he could somehow find a razor if he looked hard enough, but that was too much blood for some innocent person to have to clean up. His saving - or damning? who knows - grace came at the very back of the cabinet. With shaking hands, he pulled out a small bottle of Adderall, breathing immediately becoming heavier as he realized that he was actually about to do it. He scrunched his eyes tightly closed, thoughts running through him at a thousand miles per hour. Was he actually about to do this? Yes, he was. Nobody gave a shit about him - his own best friend of TWELVE FUCKING YEARS shoved him aside. Practically spat on him. Called him the same thing they had spent their entire LIVES being called. Michael quickly came to one realization - there was no place on this world for him. Nobody on this world for him. He didn’t belong here. Nobody cared, and nobody would cry. He was unwanted. He was useless.He was just some stoner loser. With that last thought, he tore open the cap, the tears streaming down his face in rapid fashion, making it harder to see. He dumped a large amount of pills - way more than the recommended dose - into his palms, downing it without thinking. He did that again, determined to make sure this worked. At first, he started shaking. Then, he collapsed to the ground, sputtering and gripping his chest. Weakly, he registered it as a seizure, and he knew it was too late at that point. He heard the door slam open. He heard screams, voices yelling for someone to call an ambulance. He felt arms reaching down and cradling him, arms he recognized. He was able to peel open his eyes for half a moment, just in time to catch Jeremy’s bright irises, before he completely shut down and everything went black. 

Jeremy was talking with Jenna when it happened. It all happened in a blur, but he remembered the main actions. Two boys ran up to him, screaming that some kid had attempted suicide in the bathroom and was having a seizure next to a spilled bottle of pills. Jeremy felt his heart drop, but he didn’t pay it any mind at first - he was sure Michael would’ve just left the party silently and sulked home. When he saw the boy in question - his best friend of twelve fucking years, laying on the ground and convulsing, he felt his heart shatter in his chest. “MICHAEL!!!” He screamed, running over to the shaking boy and weakly grabbing him. He propped his body up on his legs, completely unsure what to do while someone was having a seizure. He cradled his head, whispering soft comforts to him as he waited for the ambulance to get there. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. “Don’t worry,” he sobbed into Michaels hair, holding it tightly in his hands. “Fuck, Michael, I’m so sorry. When you wake up - fuck you, you’re GOING to wake up - I’m going to apologize, and let you know how fucking MUCH you mean to me. Fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He rocked back and forth, holding the other tightly and murmuring, more for his own sake than his friends. The ambulance arrived, took Michael away, and left. Jenna offered to drive Jeremy behind them, and he took it in a heartbeat, willing to do anything to be with Michael right now. They got to the hospital only a few minutes after Michael, but the boy had already been rushed into surgery to get his stomach pumped. That left them waiting in the waiting room for what felt like days upon days, but in reality was roughly 3 hours. Jeremy couldn’t settle down, no matter how hard he tried. He paced the room, wringing his hands and shooting his head up whenever a nurse came out to announce a name. Whenever it wasn’t Michael, he would lower it slowly, and continue to pace. At no point did Michaels parents show up, despite the fact they were contacted right away and asked to get there as quickly as possible. The knowledge that his parents felt it more important to be off wherever they were on a business trip than to come be with their hospitalized, suicidal son filled Jeremy with unbridled rage - but he would solve that later. For now, the only thing he cared about was in an operating room. Finally, a nurse came over, smiling a smile at Jeremy that made him almost feel happy. “Michael Mell?” She called, Jeremy rushing over to her as fast as he could. Jenna followed along - she promised Jeremy she would stay with him. Jake had also arrived, since it was his house and he felt particularly bad, despite the fact he did nothing to instigate it. The rest of the teens had gone home to deal with the sights they had seen, but sent their best wishes to Michael getting better. “First of all, he’s alive.” The nurse started, and Jeremy nearly collapsed with relief. He felt tears brimming up in his eyes, but he couldn’t cry just yet - not until he knew Michael was alright alright. Being alive did not equal being okay. “Second of all, you guys were EXTREMELY lucky in the fact that i don’t think he had any long lasting damage. He smashed his head a couple of times, so he has a significant concussion. Other than that, he has a few bruises, and his stomach will be extremely upset for the next few days. Most people who have seizures from overdosing on adderall - well, they don’t survive. Of those who do, they have spinal issues that haunt them for the rest of their lives, injuries from falling into things and permanent brain damage. I cannot stress how lucky he is that he did not have any of these issues.”Jeremy started crying. He couldn’t help it - the words filled him from head to toe with relief. Sobs left him, despite the squip - who had been screaming at him the entire time to stop wasting his time in here - yelling at him to stop being such a pussy. He held his hands over his eyes as he hiccuped, pure relief flooding through him. “Okay…” he muttered out weakly. “He’s gonna be okay…” “He is.” The nurse patted his arm gently, smiling softly at the boy. “He’s going to be completely fine. Now, he’s awake, but barely. You can come in to visit him, but we request there only be one person - he’s still a bit out of it and we don’t want him feeling stressed or overwhelmed.”Immediately, Jake and Jenna stood back, looking at Jeremy. That was good, Jeremy thought in the back of his head - if anyone had tried to go in instead of him, he would’ve fought them. “I’m going.” He murmured, and the nurse turned to lead him. The second she opened the door to the small hospital room, he ran forward. Michael was awake - but barely, head rolling to the side and eyes lidded as he struggled to stay awake. Jeremy fell to his knees next to the bed, grabbing and holding Michaels hand tightly. “I’m so sorry-” he started immediately, but to his surprise, Michael cut him off. “Don’t be…” he muttered, a loopy and sad giggle leaving him. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. It was…I was…stupid.” He shifted in the bed, obviously uncomfortable but trying to hide it. “No. No, it’s okay.” Jeremy rushed, tilting Michaels head up so he was looking into his eyes. “I don’t blame you at all. Please, just - my god, Michael, never do that again, I’m begging you. That was so fucking terrifying, and I didn’t mean a fucking word I said, and I was so SCARED that you were going to die actually thinking I hated you because that’s literally the opposite of the truth I love you and-”He came to an abrupt stop, realizing what he had just said and slapping a hand over his mouth. “w…What…?” Michael slowly stuttered out, eyes widened as his brain rushed to keep up with what he had just heard. “Y…You what…?”“I’m sorry.” Jeremy said immediately, waving his hands. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that - you just woke up from a surgery and you’re out of it and that’s SO not something to put on you right now and-”Jeremy was cut off by the lips pressed against his. He let out a loud squeak, entire body going rigid before he slowly sunk into it. He subconsciously wrapped his arm around Michaels shoulders and pulled him closer, making sure not to hurt him in the process. “O…Oh…” he murmured once they pulled away, eyes wide as he stared his best friends. He found the others hand, squeezing it tightly and taking a deep breath as he tried to formulate what he was going to say. “O…Okay. Let’s..”“I love you too.” Michael murmured, moving forward to bury his head against the others neck. “And the lights in here are way too fucking bright. I want them off.” Jeremy’s cheeks burned a bright red, but he couldn’t help but giggle at the words. “I’ll see what the nurse can do.” He whispered, intertwining his fingers in the others hair. He dropped another kiss on his head, closing his eyes and just focusing on Michaels presence. His breathing, his shifting, the rise and falling of his shoulders - his everything. Things weren’t fixed, by any means. Jeremy still had the squip, and Michael still had mental issues that, added to everything, were really the things that drove him to a suicide attempt. Things weren’t pretty, and they sure as hell wouldn’t be easy.

Jeremy was still terrified, but he thought that as long as they could stay like this, nothing would be able to hurt Michael ever again.

royal tavern (or, THE BEST BURGER I’VE HAD IN A LONG ASS TIME)

u read it right. i like am wasting no time writing this review. i almost cried eatin that burger.

today after my run i went to royal tavern. it is very close to me, and altho i pass by it frequently, i had never noticed the storefront! it’s v unassuming. i couldn’t even tell if it was open when i walked up to it.

but thankfully it was! i arrived at like 11:50am-ish today (saturday). the main floor of the bar had a few tables of ppl watch some sports it looked like. i asked if i could take a table as a single person n they were like ‘sure’. i took a table in the elevated area at the back. felt a little bad cuz i was the only person up there so was making the server walk extra far for me, but thankfully after i sat up there more ppl started sitting up there too.

i ordered a bloody mary, cuz i luv bloodies, n have been thinking about it all week. the bloody arrived quickly and was de-licious. they had three i could’ve ordered: regular, bacon, and extra spicy. i went with regular to establish a baseline. might follow-up with an extra spicy the next time i go. the garnishes were simple and good: 1 olive, 1 sliver of v spicy pickle. a lemon and lime wedge, which i did not care for (i put these aside). if i could say anything bad about my ENTIRE experience at royal tavern, it would be that there was too much crushed ice in the bloody mary. 

i also ordered the burger: angus burger. there is just one on the menu (which i’m into). based on insta posts looks like sometimes they have specials, but i think i was there too early on a saturday for any burger specials to be listed. but again, had to establish a baseline to judge their food scientifically, and was very glad i went with the regular.

the burger is described on the menu as bacon, caramelized onions, smoked gouda, pickled long hots, chili mayo. i wasn’t pumped about the pickled long hots cuz i thought it would be a bit too acidic on the burger, but when the burger arrived it only had one lil picked long hot and i just ate that on its own (it was good, would be good on the burger in the future). also hadn’t noticed the cheese was smoked gouda until the burger arrived (my reading comprehension is not 100%). but damn, that’s a good burger cheese.

the best thing about the burger was the bun. light, fresh, buttery, sesame bun. chili mayo spread on both sides, with an extra pot of plain mayo on the side (yes!). a thick-ass patty (i luv thick-ass patties), two pieces of bacon that were acceptably crispy, a think slice of smoked gouda, the caramelized onions, and the long hot. when i smashed the burger, the smoked gouda melted and mixed so well with the caramelized onions, so i’d end up gettin a bite of each with each bite of burger.

this burger was so good that i slowed down and savored it. 

omfg i forgot to mention the fries, which come with the burger. think i coulda ordered tots instead but hadn’t had fries in so long. and these fries were SO GOOD. oily, crispy, some a little burned. and i got to dunk them in the mayo.

i rly can’t say enough good stuff about this burger and fries. i don’t think i need to keep trying burgers in philadelphia cuz i can’t imagine anything being better than this.

also the staff were super nice, the ambiance was nice and dark, and everyone else in the bar was eatin either a burger, a vegan cheesesteak (which apparently is also very good) or a burrito that i heard ppl calling a frankie (based on the menu: curry chicken, indian coleslaw, wrapped in lovash. 

rating: 10/10

congratulations!