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archived-deadpoolxandxfriends · 5 years

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"You're not a monster." - Ali to Wade

@brightengale

This one got away from me but I’m not mad about that! Hope you enjoy it

Alison’s sincerity broke Wade’s heart. She appeared to truly believe in what she was saying when she said: “you’re not a monster.” He would have laughed if the action didn’t feel like he was choking.

He wanted to push her away and tell her she had no idea what she was talking about. He wanted to show her how wrong she was and finally reveal all of the monstrous things he had done for the sake of money, all the while kidding himself he was making a difference.

Instead he walked away from her, ignoring her pleas for him to stay, come back, don’t go. He didn’t know if he was pleased or appalled when she didn’t follow him outside.

The night air was fresh with a chilling bite to the breeze that swept around him. He was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of old sweats. He was barefoot. He hadn’t planned his dramatic walk-out properly. He wrapped his arms around himself as he carried on walking, not sure where his feet were taking him.

Despite having no destination in mind, he ended up at the workshop that sat at one of the far-ends of the property Alison shared with Bucky and Steve. The light was on and Wade could see Bucky moving around inside of it. Wade headed over to the workshop and knocked on the door. He went in when Bucky said ‘come in.’

The workshop was a treasure trove of weaponry. This was Wade’s first time stepping inside of it and the sight of all those guns, blades, knives, and everything else that could possibly cause harm made Wade’s mouth hang open. Bucky was sat on a tall stool next to a workbench that run across the length of the workshop on one side. On the bench in front of him was a high powered sniping rifle, in pieces as Bucky cleaned it.

“You good?” Bucky asked, bringing Wade out of his revelry of Bucky’s collection. Wade’s eyes connected with Bucky’s sharp blue ones and Wade felt as if he was about to be interrogated by the world’s most frightening assassin; which, to be fair, wasn’t that far from the truth.

“No.” At least Wade’s answer was honest.

Bucky reached behind himself and pulled another tall stool around. He patted the seat and Wade dutifully sat on it.

Wade had crash landed back in Alison’s life after he disappeared out of it too many years ago. He wasn’t the same guy he had been before when he was Alison’s bodyguard. He was scarred inside and out. He had done terrible things, as well as having terrible things done to him (some of them by his choice). He didn’t deserve Alison and yet she had (after a period of adjustment) welcomed him back into her life. Her life that now included Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Alison had talked Steve and Bucky into allowing Wade to stay at their house for a few days while she and Wade worked out the finer details of what they were going to mean to each other now.

Wade had fooled himself into believing that he would be able to fall back into the rhythm he used to share with Alison and it had worked at first. Until she started to ask questions about his time away from her and how he went from Wade Wilson to Deadpool. That was when she tried to tell him he wasn’t a monster and that was when he ended up in Bucky’s workshop.

“Wanna talk about it?” Bucky asked.

Wade, who was famous for his ability to talk endlessly, shrugged and said nothing. He winced as he heard Bucky suck a breath in through his teeth.

“That’s fine. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. But if you’re gonna mope in here, you can at least be useful.” Bucky reached over and grabbed another rifle which he handed to Wade. “I’m assuming you know how to clean one of these?”

Wade nodded as he took the rifle from Bucky. His hands relied on muscle memory as he began taking the rifle apart. He noted the rifle hadn’t been used since the last time it was cleaned but he didn’t question Bucky’s logic of cleaning it again.

“Normally, I ain’t one for talking too much,” Bucky said, his voice quiet and controlled. Out of his periphery, Wade could see Bucky was watching him, gauging his reactions. Wade kept his focus on the rifle in his hands. “But I got a couple of things I wanna say and since it’s just the two of us here, now seems like a good a time as any.”

Wade opened his mouth to say and defend himself against whatever it was Bucky was going to say, even though he hadn’t said it yet. Bucky held up his hand and Wade’s words died on his tongue.

“Let me say my bit.” There was no anger in Bucky’s tone. No judgement either. “Alison told us all about you when she found you again. But she didn’t tell us everything, like what you got up to after you left. I did some digging, made a few calls, and I got some answers. On the surface, you were like any other mercenary. You killed for money, simple as that. But it wasn’t that simple, huh?”

Again, Bucky fixed Wade with his sharp blue eyes, studying Wade carefully, catching every tick his face made. Whatever Bucky saw there made him continue.

“You didn’t take out just anyone. You took out sex traffickers, pedophiles, murderers. You were cleaning up the trash. You could’ve gone after anyone but you stuck to the filth. Your track record is nearly as long as mine but I saw what you were trying to do.”

“Bucky-” Wade wanted to tell him it wasn’t like that. The way Bucky was framing it was making him sound like some kind of hero. Wade wasn’t a hero. Heroes aren’t supposed to enjoy causing bloodshed.

“Wade, what I’m trying to say is you don’t have to hide that shit from me. I get hiding it from Alison and Steve, but you don’t have to do that with me.”

Bucky turned on his stool so he was now facing Wade. He put his hand on Wade’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “It’s up to you if you tell Alison and Steve about the details. It’s not my place to tell ‘em but I’ll be by your side if you want me there.”

“Why?” Wade choked out the word. “No matter how you put it, I’m still a monster.”

“Maybe you are. But if you are, then I am too.”

“You’re not a monster, Bucky.” Wade was resolute about that. Bucky was one of the good guys. Wade had known that since he read the Captain America comics when he was a kid and he had known it when all of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra’s files had been dumped on the internet. What had happened to Bucky was monstrous but the man was anything but one. Wade couldn’t say the same about himself.

“Yeah, I am. But it’s OK. Because we’ve got Alison and Steve willing to take chances on us. Makes me think that maybe we ain’t as bad as we think we are, y’know?”

Wade stared back at Bucky and to his credit, managed not to dissolve into a puddle.

“I really wanna hug you right now,” Wade said with a faint, nervous laugh.

Before he could say another word, Bucky pulled him into a warm embrace. God, he smelled good and Wade couldn’t resist burying his face in the crook between Bucky’s neck and shoulder.

They only eased up on their hug when there was a soft knock on the door and Alison’s voice could be heard. “Buck? Have you seen Wade?”

“I’m here,” Wade called out before Bucky had to say anything. He lifted his head and pulled back from Bucky. The fact Bucky kept one of his arms around Wade’s waist caused Wade’s stomach to do backflips.

Alison eased her way into the workshop, a fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders and fuzzy slippers on her feet. She looked surprised to find Bucky and Wade practically snuggling but she gave them both a small smile. “Sorry to interrupt,” she said softly.

“Don’t be. I’m the one who should be sorry,” Wade said. He offered one arm out to Alison so she could join in the hug. There was a moment when Alison hesitated but eventually she shuffled over from the doorway and both Wade and Bucky put their arms around her too. Alison said something but her voice was muffled in all of the cuddling.

“Huh?” Wade pulled back so he could look down at her. Bucky brushed some of Alison’s hair back from her face as she looked up at Wade, her eyes shining with what Wade hoped to be happy tears.

“I said: it’s good to see you guys getting along.”

“Bucky let me clean his rifle,” Wade deadpanned, earning a snort from Bucky.

“Wade’s real good with his hands,” Bucky added, his tone matching Wade’s.

Alison stared at the pair of them wide-eyed before bursting into a fit of giggles. “Wow,” she said with she regained some of her composure. “Just wow.”

“Next time, I’m hoping Bucky’ll let me sharpen his blade,” Wade continued.

“Only if you promise to respect me in the morning.”

Alison erupted into more giggles. “I don’t know who’s the worst influence on the other,” she teased.

Bucky grinned at Alison before planting a kiss on her cheek. “Wade’s made me build up an appetite. Anyone else hungry?” Bucky carefully extracted himself from their embrace and started to head out of the workshop, leaving Alison and Wade alone for the moment.

“Are we good?” Alison asked, her earlier mirth vanished in a blink of an eye.

Wade nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry about walking out. There’s a lot of shit I need to work through before I can tell you about it. But Bucky said he’d help me.”

“You need to stop walking away from me,” Alison warned him. “If you need space, tell me and I’ll give it to you. You can leave as long as I know you’re coming back.”

“I know, Sparkles. I’m sorry.”

Alison reached up to cup Wade’s face with both of her hands. She stood on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “C’mon, you. We better book it back to the kitchen. Steve’ll eat everything Bucky cooks up if we don’t get in there quick.”

Wade and Alison left the workshop after making sure everything was put away, the lights were switched off and the door was locked. They headed back to the house, arm in arm, and for the first time since Wade had crashed back into Alison’s life, he felt a little less monstrous and a little more like a person who deserves good things.

#brightengale #ww (the merc) thread #jbb (the sniper) thread #awesome foursome #angst warning #but it has a happy ending

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