The fact that you can play a Samurai in Elden Ring is fucking hilarious to me. Like, you’ve got all these other origins and they’ve got some sort of tie in to the world of the Lands Between. Heroes are descendants of Godfrey, Astrologers, Prophets, and all other sorts directly connected to the world or a faction in it.
And then there’s just... like... a Samurai. They’re not even from the Lands Between. They’re a silent protagonist because they don’t speak the fucking language. They have no idea how they got there. There’s one other person in the entire game who’s from where you’re from and he’s a fucking bounty hunter. You miss your horse.
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Messmer, The Impaler
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Those stripped of the Grace of Gold shall all meet death. In the embrace of Messmer’s flame.
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pure and radiant, he wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men
there is nothing more terrifying
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Soulsborne Cities
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Miquella - there is no unalloyed good.
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"Wouldst thou truly Lordship sanction, in one so bereft of light?"
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Quick Messmer fanart to celebrate the Elden Ring DLC announcement! I could go to sleep before finishing this. Hope you enjoy!!!
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Godwyn
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Soulsborne games explaine badly
Dark Souls: Local Zombie tries to leave poorly funded mental Hospital, kills God, gets set on fire.
Dark Souls 2: Local Zombie is unwillingly elected President King of Detroit.
Dark Souls 3: Local Zombie and Blind Angel Kill God and don’t set themselves on fire.
Bloodborne: You just wanted to stab furries and then things got weird.
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice: Naruto cosplayer destroys nation to make God cry and make child die.
Elden Ring: A lot of this could have been prevented with family therapy and polyamory.
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Me, starting Bloodborne: Huh, so this is like a Gothic Horror Dark Souls? Cool.
Me now, eyes bloodshot, hunched over my computer screen like a goblin at 3AM, consuming every bit of insane cosmic lore I can: Mergo’s Lullaby has the same tempo as your walking speed so this clearly symbolizes that the Hunter is-
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touch the withered arm
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*twirls hair* hello messmer
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