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sakebytheriver · 10 months

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And if I have absolutely no self-control and post a portion of my H-money AU fic, what then, huh?

(Wanna know how many pages this wip has so far? 84)

The event had been scheduled long before the photos dropped. There was no way for anyone to predict it, really.

No way for anyone to know that the night before the Woodstone’s fancy schmancy wedding anniversary party, (which was really more of an excuse to invite business partners and the press and paparazzi over to hopefully inflate stock prices and make connections), pictures of Elias Woodstone with his twenty-something year old redheaded mistress would hit every single tabloid on the earth.

No way to predict how the photos would go viral in an instant due to the proximity of the couple’s anniversary.

No way to predict how the internet would react to the fact that his mistress bore a striking resemblance to his wife.

No way for anyone to know that the butt of almost every joke would become Hetty herself.

No way to predict that the man who committed the offense would be almost completely forgotten as the world picked which woman’s side they were on.

No way to predict the clusterfuck the next 48 hours would become.

Trevor didn’t even find out about the affair from the pictures themselves, but rather from a crude meme comparing every feature the women had in common and where they differed. The picture was captioned with a wild conspiracy about how Elias Woodstone was apparently planning to have a baby with this mistress in order to trick the world into thinking Hetty had somehow had a miracle baby at her age and Trevor closed the app before he finished reading.

Now he was standing at the couple’s anniversary party, all because he’d been the bastard lucky enough to land their company as his client by treating Hetty Woodstone like a human being. He’d gotten to bring a handful of his colleagues so he didn’t feel so out of his depth, but when he saw her standing at the corner of the bar looking like she was trying to shrink her entire body down to the size of an ant, he felt like he was drowning.

He couldn’t even appreciate the way her modest/not modest dress looked hugging her figure. The teal fabric clinging to her arms and her sternum before flaring out loose around her waist, a short slit cut up to her knee revealing her pale calf and the matching teal heels on her feet. Gone was the ice queen from that first party glaring everyone down. Gone was the business woman that had his entire office honed to her presence. Now, she finally looked like what the world said she was, a jilted middle-aged wife whose husband was running around town with a woman less than half her age.

It was the most jarring picture Trevor had ever seen.

He really wanted that confident, sharp-tongued ice queen back, and as he slid up to lean against the bar right next to her, he really hoped he would be enough to snap her out of it.

"You haven't called me,” he kept voice playful and light, flirty and teasing even throwing in a toothy smirk with the hope she’d sneer at him.

Instead, she surprised him more than ever before, turning towards him and pressing her body into his, letting him feel the length of her form and every curve of her figure pushed up against his own. Her hand slipping up his chest slow and warm before her fingers curled into his tie absently playing with it while her other hand came up to press against his pec underneath his suit jacket, her touch feeling like a hot iron brand even through the fabric of his shirt. Her leg slipped in between his, and as she finally lifted her head to look into his eyes, he once again felt like he was meeting a completely different woman. The way she slouched against him, putting her below him height wise for the first time ever, her blue eyes gazing up under her mascara painted lashes like she was some coquettish minx. The sharp bite usually housed in her icy blues replaced with an almost vulnerable flirty softness that felt so wrong directed Trevor’s way. Her once again dark red painted lips parted and pouting slightly as she spoke.

"Buy me a drink," her deep voice downright seductive as it purred past her lips and dripped down his spine.

For a moment, Trevor felt like he was in some seedy dive bar being hit on by a girl already two drinks in and ready to take him home. Then he looked up and made eye contact with a bartender standing underneath a banner celebrating the couple’s wedding anniversary, and he remembered exactly where he was. Feeling like someone dumped a bucket of cold water on his head, Trevor pointed to the empty cocktail glass stained with Hetty’s lipstick and the bartender instantly picked up the cue grabbing the glass and moving to make her another one.

"Did you see the pictures?" Hetty’s voice pulled him back to her face, which was still very distractingly close to his own.

Her hands were on his chest, feeling him up under his suit jacket while her body was pressed close enough to let him feel her entire form as much as he possibly could while they were still fully clothed. Her leg in between his softly rubbing her calf against his in small enough movements that no one would notice but enough for him to feel, an absolutely maddening tease that was taking all of his self control not to wrap his own arms around her waist and pull her even closer, party be damned.

"Pictures?" He tried for innocent and oblivious, but he was focused on suppressing some more pressing urges that putting on a convincing front was not really possible at the moment. It was obvious he knew exactly what pictures she was talking about, and judging by the snort of laughter, she let out she knew it too.

"Oh please,” one of her hands slipped up his chest over his neck to land on his chin, her index finger pressing against his plump bottom lip, her eyes locked on her own finger as she spoke. “You’re many things, Mr. Lefkowitz, but you’re not dumb. So don’t play it."

Her hand dropped back to his chest, and her gaze snapped back to his eyes, the sharp icy bite back in its regular home in her irises.

"Ah.” He cringed and bit back the smile he almost let through at the sight of her familiar piercing gaze. Feeling relieved to know she was still in there somewhere. “Yeah, I did."

At his admission, she laughed, breathy and soft, self-deprecating and sardonic like it was the only thing she could do in response to the situation.

"She's younger than our daughter." Hetty’s voice soft and barely above a whisper only for him to hear, saying it like a joke and even letting out a manic little giggle after the fact as if the whole world would find it funny.

Trevor could only wince and clench his fists tighter so he wouldn’t be tempted to grab her and drag her out of this place. Sweep her away from this stupid party meant to celebrate a sham marriage she was trapped in like a business contract. Get her as far away from the world, comparing her to a woman who unfortunately happened to share the same hair color as her. Take her somewhere she could be that whip smart, sharp witted woman from his office just a few days ago. But he couldn’t do any of that, instead he could only look into her eyes as the bartender placed the freshly made cocktail down on the bar in front of her and Hetty tore her gaze from Trevor’s to look at it for just a moment before she looked back up at him with another self-deprecating laugh rolling her eyes as she peeled herself off of him and grabbed her cocktail.

"Whatever," she said as she lifted the drink to her lips, turning and walking away from Trevor like nothing had even happened.

Which absolutely could not happen.

"Hey, come here." Trevor gripped her wrist and pulled her towards the first place he could think of.

The dance floor.

Once again, pulling her body flush against his, wrapping one arm around her waist as he delicately placed her free hand on his shoulder before dropping that arm to join the other around her waist. She snorted as she took a sip from her drink, instantly beginning to sway with the music and wrap her arm more securely around his shoulders.

"Is your answer to me walking away from you, always going to be to take me to the dance floor?" When she looked at him with a playful smirk and a snarky edge to her gaze, Trevor should have known not to let his guard down.

"It's the only way I can get you to talk to me for more than thirty seconds." He easily joked back, aiming for casual and getting thrown a curve ball immediately after.

"Do you think she's prettier than me?" Hetty asked it like she was asking what he thought about the weather.

"No." His response was instantaneous.

"Liar." So was hers.

He huffed short and annoyed. She merely raised her eyebrow and lifted her drink to her lips, taking a sip while keeping eye contact the entire time. He took a deep breath, knowing a challenge when he saw one.

"I think she's pretty. I don't think she's prettier than you.” He spoke carefully, knowing the woman he was dealing with. Any loophole, any gap, any mistake would be exploited. It’s what he would do. Which is why he should have stopped talking then. “If I'm being honest I kinda think she looks like you,” he didn’t know why he was deciding to remind her of how the world was comparing the two of them, but she was the one who wanted honesty. “But younger."

The tip of Hetty’s tongue darted out, delicately lapping away the drops of her drink stuck to her bottom lip as she lowered her glass. Her sharp gaze pierced into his, and he finally felt like he was dealing with the Hetty he was used to.

"Which makes her prettier." Her words spit from her lips like it was just a bitter fact of life.

"No.” Trevor’s arms tightened around her waist, knowing exactly what the content of Hetty’s phone would look like if he were to check it right now. “No, it doesn't." He did his best to make his voice as even and sure as possible, putting everything he could into it, trying to make her understand that he meant every single word he was saying. Desperate for her to believe him and only him, not any of the other voices that had no doubt been screaming at her since yesterday. Looking directly into her eyes, meeting her challenge head on, showing her he was completely unwilling to back down on this point. Knowing that the only way to get a woman like her to back down was to show her how much you weren’t going to either.

He must have done something right because she narrowed her eyes at him for a long moment, reading him like the book he was trying to be right then. Her brows pinched slightly and her eyes softened for just a second and Trevor latched onto it, really hoping that softness meant that he’d been able to make her feel beautiful when the rest of the world made her feel past her prime.

Then she was rolling her eyes and snorting out another laugh, but this time at his expense rather than her own, and Trevor counted it as a win.

"You're just saying that because you had a friend with a hot mom, and it gave you a complex."

Trevor couldn’t help but laugh, happy to bring back their usual May/December banter if only for the purely selfish reason that he really liked the back and forth.

"You keep calling yourself old,” he said with a grin. “You're really not that old."

"Compared to you?" She shot back.

"Hey, I'm not that young,” he said, holding up a hand placatingly. “I've just got a young face." He brought the same hand to his jaw, running it along the underside of his chin to show off his grin.

"Mm,” she hummed, pursing her lips at him. “And how many women at the retirement home actually believe that?" She raised an eyebrow at him, and Trevor could swear he saw the beginning of a smile twitch at the corner of her lips.

He shrugged as he wrapped his arm back around her waist, “About as many who would believe you could actually be a resident there.”

“I’m rich, I have a stylist to color in my grays.” She curled a finger into one of her loose curls before letting it bounce back into place.

"Come on,” Trevor pulled her in closer, feeling like he should punch himself when he celebrated the fact that she pushed against him rather than leaning into him the way she did before at the bar. “What's to stop us from going and getting a hotel room right now?" He put as much cheese and college frat party seduction into his voice and as much boyish charm into his smile as possible, excited for the rejection headed his way like a goddamn maniac.

Hetty narrowed her eyes at him, pressing her palm against the center of his chest and taking a step forward, instantly switching the dynamic. Her spine straight and his bent slightly back as she leaned in, their faces only a few inches apart, ready to take him to task.

"My husband watching us from the other side of the room,” she whispered, barely audible over the music and din of the party. “The group of photographers on the opposite wall." her eyes darted quickly to where the photographers were stationed as she leaned in even closer, their noses almost touching. "And the fact…” her deep voice rumbled low and pointed every syllable of her speech enunciated and pointed like it was meant to be a physical blow landing on his skin. “That you're a child."

She pushed against his chest hard enough to push herself out of his arms, the man stumbling back as she easily took a couple of graceful steps backward. The redhead lingered for only a moment to look him up and down disparagingly before meeting his eyes. She clicked her tongue at him dismissively before turning on her heel.

He wasn’t proud of the fact that his eyes immediately dropped to her ass when she turned around, but he also wasn’t proud of the fact that his dick had twitched in his pants when she’d called him a child like that, so Trevor figured he’d have to get used to not having any pride around Hetty Woodstone.

Somehow he found his way back to the group of coworkers he’d brought with him to the party and they were all on him in an instant, clearly having watched the entirety of his exchange with the Woodstone wife. As they all leered at him, Trevor wondered why he thought bringing them would ever bring him comfort instead of grief.

"Lefkowitz,” Ari clapped him on the shoulder, saying his name the way college roommates did after you got some. “Smart move going for the wife."

"Oh yeah, and definitely not just business wise,” Chet wiggled his eyebrows.

“Totally! Woman's a hot fiery cougar too," Pinkus interjected.

"Tell me you're getting some of that." David raised an eyebrow at Trevor.

"Especially after those pics leaked.” Ari spoke first. “You just know she's looking to get back at her husband by getting under somebody else."

The others laughed and hyped up Ari’s comment while Trevor stood there feeling like Sas the first time he introduced him to his frat brothers.

"For sure.” Chet said. “You just know the ‘he’s banging someone younger than me’ sex is off the charts." They all nodded and made noises of assent before they all turned their focus on Trevor at the same time almost on a dime.

"So?" David raised an eyebrow at him and smirked, sleazy and full of slime.

And as they all stared at him with similar expressions waiting for his response, Trevor’s gaze drifted over his colleagues’ shoulders to watch as a reporter or a pap or just someone with a recorder and a camera approached Hetty clearly asking a question about the photographs. He watched as in response, Hetty threw her head back and downed the rest of her cocktail before she looked over her shoulder at her impromptu interviewer. Trevor read her lips as they moved, clearly saying, “no comment” before she stalked away somehow having left her empty glass behind in the random reporter’s hand without them or Trevor even seeing her do it. And as his gaze trailed back to his coworkers all waiting for his cocky response about totally banging the Woodstone matriarch, he felt like he might throw up on all of their dumb sleazy faces.

Yeah, Trevor was starting to get what Hetty meant about him being a child.

He plastered what he hoped was an exact copy of their sleazy grins on his face and forced himself to sound overly confident and arrogant in his own abilities.

"Oh, you guys know T-Money is getting in there."

They all clapped him on the back and made noises celebrating his sleazebag remark and Trevor couldn’t help it as his gaze drifted once again to the vibrant flash of red and teal standing by the bar with a new cocktail in her hand and multiple cameras shoved into her face. She sipped the drink leaning against her elbows on the bar like she was dissociating to some tropical island far, far away from all of the people nagging her with questions she refused to answer. He couldn’t find it in himself to envy her life in that moment no matter how much he had in the past.

And as his coworkers continued on like they couldn't even see the crisis written all over the woman’s face, talking about all of the things they would be doing to her if they were in his position instead, Trevor came to the realization that he was probably the first person in a long time she’d let see even a shred of who she actually was.

#ignore me #fanfic #h-money #ghosts cbs #hetty trevor #trevor lefkowitz #hetty woodstone #fanfiction #my fanfic #segment #snippet

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akeemmair · 1 year

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The Ellen Show was one of the most widely watched programs on television!! Akeem Mair makes a splash on Ellen DeGeneres’s show with one of her top writers, Lauren Pomerantz!!

It happened when I was in acting class at the time. I swear my phone kept buzzing every 5 minutes like crazy. My friends and family kept blowing up my phone up with texts like, “you were on The Ellen Show??? Call me!” They were thrilled seeing me on the recurring humor segment called “Speak The Lyrics.” A show where one of Ellen’s writers walks up to a complete stranger and begins speaking to them in song lyrics.

I swear I had no idea it was on TV because I was in a class, ‘On Set/On Camera’ breaking down being realistic with your actions in a scene taught by David Rountree. I originally had no idea I was even being filmed for The Ellen Show. A couple months earlier, I stopped at a Barnes and Noble in Burbank. I notice a bunch of film crew standing outside so I asked one of the crew members, “What’s going on?” None of them claim they knew any information about what’s going on. I walked in and checked out some books and was on my way out when I notice a 2pac record and stopped at the record section. That’s when Lauren appeared.

The hilarious segment puts some of Ellen DeGeneres’ writers in a public setting with hidden cameras that also record the conversation that takes place between them and a complete unsuspecting stranger. The catch is, the writers only get to use lyrics from a song when engaging a stranger. How the person responds to the incoherent statements being thrown at them is usually the funniest part of the segment. In Akeem Mair’s case, the show’s staff was using lyrics from Taylor Swift’s song titled Me!

I remember Coach Mike lessons of being completely confident and don’t disagree with what anyone says while their improving. Next thing I know, I was signing some papers and it airs on TV, Ellen calling it, “The best episode she’s ever seen!”

Unlike other strangers seen in past episodes of the segment who tend to shy away from the situation, Akeem Mair, being the experienced actor that he is, acted confidently and comfortably in engaging the show’s writer in a conversation that did not make sense at all. The whole segment with Akeem turned out to be such a treat for followers of the Ellen DeGeneres Show, and the actor gained instant popularity online, much to his surprise.

On Ellen Show’s YouTube channel, the segment with Akeem Mair reached more than 700,000 views and more than 5 million on Instagram. Akeem Mair��s brief stint on the Ellen DeGeneres Show landed in the instagram feed of his future agent, Sarah Angeli from Commercial Talent Agency. The timing was perfect because I had just submitted my headshots and resume to her last week. So when I walked into her office for my agent meeting, she had my episode cued up on her computer. She was like, “I just saw this yesterday and here you are!” She played it again and we both smiled and laughed. I’ll never forget that experience, it was God’s blessings written all over it.

Akeem Mair’s words, “I learned that life is an unexpected audition, especially in the land of Hollywood. You never know when your opportunity is so always be ready!!”

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xmanortiz · 7 months

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AEW don't miss with these MJF and Adam Cole segments they are always pure comedy gold 😂

#AEW Dynamite #Adam Cole #MJF #Captain Insano #Comedy #Segment

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mothicality · 7 months

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soo think i'm like... a flicker part, maybe, or just a really distinct segment, who knows. i'm definitely cal-adjacent but also... too not-a-dude to really feel like cal. but it's whatever, my voice is different, i talk a bit different, but not in any way that really matters.

actually that's kinda not true, i'm definitely a Dude Guy Whatever but i'm a Dude Guy Whatever the way a butch lesbian is, y'know? but i'm also not a lesbian so i don't fkn know, i'm just Whatever

i guess i don't really wanna think about it too much, the whole, "when i stop Being Me i will never be me ever again" thing, it's just weird, right? like i'll just disappear. we used to struggle with it a lot more years ago, before everything.

argh i don't know, i feel so fake. dissociation, i guess. we've had insane brain fog for hours at this point, thanks social anxiety, but with it comes dissociation and i guess it's just eating me hard now.

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acmeoop · 7 months

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He Doesn’t Think I’ll Fall For That Old Gag? “Dakota Droopy and the Lost Dutch Boy Mine” (1990)

#90s #turner broadcasting #hanna barbera #fox kids #tom and jerry kids #segment #droopy and dripple #mcwolf #wolfie #gif #flick

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nhlovesadri3 · 25 days

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Adriana Lima backstage at the vsfs 2002, wearing her Religious Holiday segment outfit, Lexington Avenue Armory, NYC, 14/11/02.

#Adriana Lima #vsfs 2002 #vs #fashion show #backstage #nyc #religious holiday #segment #goddess #angel #gorgeous #2002

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spirits-n-giggles · 1 year

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*In Your Dreams*

(Johnny Silverhand × V)

V: "You just don't fucking GET IT!"

JS: "Yeah, I get it. You're a fuckin' prude."

"Oh that's rich coming from Night City's most notorious ho-bag. You don't know a damn thing about me."

"Oh? So you don't continuously flirt with all of your friends just to blueball 'em in the end? You don't cozy up next to them for warmth when you're stuck riding out storms? You don't go on fucking diving trips with lesbos that are hot to trot for ya-"

"Those are my friends, you ass. Hanging out, and having a base amount of empathy isn't flirting- it's called being cordial. But I suppose you wouldn't even know the meaning of that word."

"....Or picnic dates with well oiled cops-"

"Okay-yes.... I know some of them have.... found some sort of comfort, but I can't control that- and even you fucking know that I have made it quite clear that I am just not interested."

"...in them."

"I.... haven't really found interest in anyone. How can I? How fucking unfair would that be, giving some else THIS responsibility? Having them care for a dying body with a dying soul- slowly morphing into someone completely new with no way to stop it- they'd be forced to watch someone they only think they love die. I don't have that long. I just.... wouldn't want to put that burden on anoyone."

"Well, isn't that all sweet and dandy. Too bad all I hear is a bunch of bellyaching from a damn drama queen, 'cause your dreams- well, they tell a different story."

"....WHAT?!"

"Ooh. Hit a button, did I? Am I wrong?"

"What the fuck are you doing in my dreams?!"

"I dunno... what am I doing in your dreams?"

"What the fuck!?! You've been peeping in on my..... my nightmares?! It's already bad enough that I can't keep my own memories to my own goddamn self!"

"Hey genius, remember we share a brain? I don't exactly have a lot of control over that- well not the kind of control that you necessarily want... at least in those dreams."

"Fuck you."

"Heh. You wish."

"Listen, you over-inflated egotistical shit-ass. Just because you like to go sleeping with the first unit with a fucking face that you see, doesn't mean that I do. We are not the same!"

"Hey, don't get all huffy with me just 'cause you got the hots for a deadbeat ghost."

"I don't.... It just.... you..... ugh. Jeezus this is the absolute LAST thing I need right now."

"Yeah, what you really need is a good-"

"Shut up, Johnny. Ya know, it's not like I can exactly control my fuckin' dreams. You think I LIKE the absolute horrors that my mind comes up with?"

"Listen, dreams are fucking weird on their own, but then you add another stupidly crazed lunatic in that noggin with you, and hell, you've seen my past too. It's a wonder that we don't actually kill each other when merging in sleep like we do."

"Do you..... do you see them all?"

"I.... honestly try to avoid them when I can. The violent ones are almost barbaric in nature, but that's to be expected with a steadily deteriorating brain and a PTSD ridden parasite sucking the life out of it."

"Well... that's uhh..... well, thanks.... I guess."

"Buuuut..... there are those choice few that I have stumbled upon..."

"Go away, Johnny."

"Especially hard to ignore the ones I'm starrin' in.

"Go AWAY, Johnny."

"...and hey, at least you're right about one thing: you don't want any of your friends."

"You don't know what I want, Johnny. You don't even know what you want."

"Heh... Neither do you."

Then the 60+ y/o throwback song "Bad Romance" comes on in the background and it makes 'em both seethe with hatred. Johnny just hates the damn song in general, but V.... well.... wrong(right) place wrong(right) time really does exist for her.

Screenshots by @spits-n-giggles

#cyberpunk 2077 #screenshot #johnny silverhand #V #fanfiction #segment #i guess?#not sure how to tag this #silverv #maybe?#this was just fun #bad romance #lol #fanart #fandom

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