New Gender Just Dropped!

Silly Evil Cartoon Girl With Scythe

COMFORT ITEMS THE CHARACTERS HAVE

And have always had. Not mc giving it to them. (It is sweet but also not rn)

Lucifer- his enchanted fountain pen. It never runs out of ink, and always stays in his inner jacket pocket. After Mammon tried to steal it once, Lucifer was lowkey devastated and couldnt focus on his work. When he got it back, he also enchanted it to return to his pocket if it was left untouched by him for 20 minutes.

Mammon - his jacket. Yes, he's a model and tries new things on but it has to have the potential to go with his jacket...which gets a little more difficult the older the jacket gets. But until he finds a jacket that makes him feel as happy and safe as that one, it is how it is.

Levi - a ruri-chan keychain. Not a special edition or anything, because he holds it a lot and doesnt want anything to happen to it. The colour has faded a few times but he repaints it. He often links it to his belt loop and pulls his sweater down over it so nobody can see, but he can still fidget with it. He also has a blanket he uses while hes gaming.

Satan - he has a small cat stuffy from when he was a baby (Mammons first sewing project) that he keeps under his pillow. Its not something he carries around with him but helps him relax by the end of the day to know at least it will be there for him no matter what.

Asmo - their water bottle. He likes the rubber thing that keeps the lid attatched to the bottle and swings it when he walks. Yeah he could hold his own in a fight but its more fun to swing a metal bottle at someones head. Has like...6 more of them at home. Decorated the outside of it himself in stickers, paint, etc.

Beel - has a cow plushie that reminds him of Belphie. He keeps it with him anytime its possible. Yes, it moos when he squeezes it.

Belphie - obviously he has his pillow, but when he cant lug that around he has a small bottle of never empty lavender oil.

Diavolo - his late mothers brooch. He keeps it pinned on him whenever possible, or carefully placed in a box in his bedroom, in a locked compartment, which he Barbatos always hold the key for. It makes him feel more connected to her, thus more confident when hes made to speak to other nobels.

Barb - another pair of white gloves. He has never stained his gloves, but likes to know he has the safety net of another pair in case anything happens.

Mephistopheles - his boots. You cannot tell me this man does not have killer cowboy boots he wears ALL the time.

Simeon - a white feather, from Lucifer before he fell. He keeps it well hidden and taken care of, often writing with it on his desk as a source of inspiration.

Luke - his bag. He takes it with him everywhere and is fiercely protective of it. He likes to keep his cookbook and other recipes he has yet to write into it stored there.

Raphael - his spear is a given, but also a small cloth he uses to polish the head throughout the day. Taking it away is a death sentence.

Solomon - he has a little spinny gadget he attatches to his belt. Idk where he got it from. I dont think he remembers where its from. But he enjoys spinning it. It serves no function.

Thirteen - she loves her scythe, but its a cool rock. She was lonely for a very long time, ok? She found a very shiny rock with quartz in it, and she keeps it in her pocket. She sometimes talks to it when she needs to vent.

Masterlist

V9C8

I cannot believe I’m awake when the episode drops holy shit. I’m also drunk af bc it’s my weekend off so I might not be as sharp as I’m usually am (not) but guess we’ll see lol. Also the devil works hard but pirates work harder. Bless them yardee hars yo ho

Post Ep: uhh I genuintely dunno what to say here :/ MKEK fucked over literally the only aspect of v9 i liked so i guess imma rot or smth idk

Genuinely funny (by which I mean what the absolute fuck) that the warning does not, in fact, warn the viewer of fucking anything. Reminds me of the conversation in Criminal Minds where the unit receives a bomb threat and have to wait for it to explode because sending out a general bomb alert would halt the entirety of the country in a panic. Wasn’t there a tiktok about this exact thing? One that went liek “TRIGGER WARNIGN! TRIGGER WARNING!“ but never told you wh at the warning was? Feels like this shit

Back at it again with this pov shit? With the hentai panting? Why is it always with the hentai panting???

“Why did you shout at everyone like that?” Sometimes it’s hard to remember that Little is supposed to be like... a child? I guess? in the Wonderland spectrum of things, so them not knowing what a mental breakdown looks like is both in character and entirely unhelpful in the narrative, considering how easily Ruby brushes off the inquiry

This is probably the most tolerant Ruby’s voice acting has been in the last many seasons. It’s not high and nasally enough to scrape my skull!

Not gonna lie, having Ruby finally break down against the shittiest of tree textures is so fucking funny I can’t take this seriously. It looks like she’s wailing into a painted wall

“If you’re going to stay with me, you’re going to end up dead, too.” Ruby, the only dead people that you supposedly gave a shit about are Penny and Pyrrha. You don’t know about Clover or Ironwood, you definitely didn’t give a shit about that Forrest guy from V7, and it’s still up in the air if you know about Penny 2.0. You haven’t even mentioned Qrow, your father, or the rest of ORNJ, so what the fuck are you referencing here? Your mother, whom you only started being compromised about 2 seasons ago? Big fuckety whoop, no one cares

Ohhhh noooo not the shithead mouse character being saddddd and left behinddddd whateverr shall we doooooo

Aight what’s with the butterfly thing. If it’s supposed to symbolize Summer Rose in some way, it was never foreshadowed and only the barest of threads (butterflies being pollinators of flowers) would connect this shit. There’s a difference between subtlety and bullshit

Uhhhh did Ruby stumble into a casino house of Neo? Is this Neo backstory we’re getting into? Honestly, that’s way more intriguing than anything our heroes have going on

OH SO NOW RUBY CAN USE HER FUCKING SCYTHE WITHOUT GETTIN TRIGGERED

Why did they have to drag Roman into Maya? Didn’t they do him dirty enough by having him be eaten by a stupid grimm? Is this even the same voice actor? It’s not as... sultry

WHY YOU GOTTA DO PYRRHA DIRTY LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER MOUTH THERE’S NO TEXTURE ON HER CLOTHES WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Holy shit the animation of Roman jumpin on the table is sending me into the fuckign statosphere fucking hlep

Can’t even have a normal transformation animation between scythe to snipe it’s gotta be a spinny bullshit thing ugh. Take me back to episode 1 I miss that shit

Who is voicing Roman there’s no way this is the original VA Imma strnagle this bithc

“But we all remember how that ended.” Is this based on actual events or what Neo has interpreted? This entire scene has been nothing but bullshit so far, and not even the fun kind that Roman used to produce

“You still blame me for what happened to Torchwick?” Bitch what the absolute fuck makes you think that? What clues could you possibly have that Neo blames you specifically when there are so many random people at this table? It’s not like you’ve ever claimed to be responsible for any of these peoples’ deaths, so why is this the fucking conclusion you make? Other than having writer’s clairvoyance of course

Okay, despite not knowing at the moment what it means, I do like the detail of Roman not stepping on the teacup before but once shit gets real he demolishes it. Still don’t like how ugly he is though. Leave my dead gay son alone

I don’t know if I’ve said it before but I fucking HATE the eyeshadow on the character in Maya. Why is Neo’s fucking mint green? She’s NEO-FUCKING-POLITIAN WHY IS THERE FUCKING GREEN IN HER GODDAMN COLOR PALLETE WHEN IT’S FUCKIN WHITE BROWN AND PINK

“I’m going to enjoy watching you break.” Does Neo not have any sort of contact via her clones or whatever? Did she not see how helpless Ruby was last episode to her Jabber? Because it was very heavily implied she knew when that one turned into her before shattering. Neo didn’t have to do shit to make Ruby break, her so called friends were doing that better than Neo ever could Also, the smiles on everyone’s faces as they say this is 100% me when I write my characters going through some fucked up shit. Neo should’ve gone into theater and literally none of this would have happened lmao

It’s uhhhhhh kinda telling that Yang is the first to stop and bitch about Ruby’s behavior. “How could she jsut run off like that?” damn it’s like your sister knew you ddidn’t give hafl a flying fuck about her and dipped Yang OHMYGOD YANG BEING PISSED THAT RUBY DIDN’T TALK TO THEM I’M FUCKING WHEEZING Girl you were so busy being buried in the pussy you didn’t notice your own sister having a full ass breakdown. I do not feel sorry for you “She could’ve just talked to us” like you talked to her after you lost your arm? Oh, wait, YOU DIDN’T FUCKING DO THAT YANG. You literally told her to LEAVE YOU ALONE. Ain’t that a bitch, huh

“We say things like ‘we believe and you’ and ‘we can count on you’” holy shit this is smth I would expect from the yt exercise gurus I watch after work shifts not from my close personal friends this is so fuckign funny

“It’s not like we’re asking her to be perfect” well mf did you ever, idk, COMMUNICATE THAT. Because, lmee tell you as someone who WAS expected to be perfect at all times, that shit be damaging as fuck. I can’t even let typos happen in funny instances without a voice in my head screaming to fix them

Oh great we get the generic meandering vocals during a pvp platform fight. Do they write these lines knowing they’ll be translated into a game soon? There’s no way “I was the best and brightest Beacon had to offer” comes off naturally otherwise

Ruby literally clambered onto the only structure in the room for defense? Girl at this point you are asking to die lmao

AND HER AURA SHATTERS AT THAT MEASLY DROP I AM FUCKING SOBBING JUST KILL THE BITCH AND BE DONE WITH IT

“Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal festival.” Bitch that literally didn’t matter shit since you came back in V7. You’re literally wearing your V7/8 outfit. Shut the absolute fuck up you fucking waste of potential and hair space goddamn

“Can you imagine what it’s like to be failed time and time again by someone who meant the world to you” oh like Oz? The guy you demonized for the last few seasons? The guy who was roasted alive by his wife after she butchered their FOUR FUCKIGN CHILDREN?

Also Ruby does not use her FUCKIGN SEMBLANCE BITHC ARE YOU WANTING TO FUDCKIGN DIE THEN DIE ALREADY GODDAMMIT

Okay I can’t put my finger on it, but the animation of Pyrrha going around her staff to kick Ruby is really fucking weird. Maybe because it seems like her spear is merely resting on the ground instead of impaling it? (My current MC had a similar move so this is important to me lmao)

While I do appreciate the line of “have you stopped to consider if you’re doing more harm than good” coming from Ironwood, it’s not really Ironwood saying it, is it? How the absolute FUCK would Neo know this? Was she witness to what was happening, did she figure it out with context clues, or is this another case of writer clairvoyance?

While I guess it is within canon rights to have Neo know that Oscar is Oz’s new host, I’m very much confused about this particular course of action [turning Ozpin into Oscar] from Neo. When it was her vs Cinder,  Neo just tried to annihilate her, but with Ruby she wants to be Jigsaw??? MKEK learn character consistency I am BEGGING

Listen... I know Ruby is in an emotionally compromised state, and that in any other scenario this would be intensely heart-breaking, but with how contrived this entire scene is, I cannot give half a flying fuck about Ruby’s mental state because it’s too damn funny how easily she falls into Neo’s lap. You walked into this giant ass casino, can’t you just walk out? We ain’t seen you try yet, so either you (and the writers) are too stupid to think of it, or it was shuffled off screen, neither of which are a good look babe. Especially when that damned mouse is in the wings for SOME goddamn reason. Probably the next fucking deus ex mouse

RUBY’S HICCUPS SOUND EXACTLY LIKE MY PRINTER IM FUCKIGN WHEEZING

Okay, so Neo offering the tea makes it seem like that’s a path to the Ascension that everyone’s so gung-ho about, which makes me question why the paper pleasers needed to have a whole ass suicide dam-break to ascend if all they needed was some leaf-tea. I also think I’m putting more thought into this than the fucking writers, which, honestly, is par for the course

WAIT WHOA HOLD UP that was some geometric shit hitting Neo into the fucking next generation. Everything in Wonderland is ~whimsy and frolic~ not Square (tm) so wtf is going on

Goddammit again with this pov shit? Whoever suggested it in the group orgy should be drug out to the street and shot

CURIOUS!!! THE ONLY BITCH THAT MATTERS TO ME even if he is ugly as sin

“(Ruby) I don’t want to be me anymore” well aint that just more gasoline to my theory that Ruby’s gonna try to sacrifice herself to the tree No joke, if RT (and for any dumbass who needs clarification, CRWBY is 100% RT property) tries to imply in any goddamn way that sacrifice is the only way to achieve happiness (especially when it comes to other people’s happiness) I will come to each of their houses and shred their shoes, their paintings, and dismantle their ovens

Altho, no joke, I would much rather prefer Curious as our MC instead simply because they are curious and would potentially be able to ask questions about the world that our actual mains would take for granted, like idk wtf is dust and where does it come from? (Mainly stemming from my hc that dust is the remains of human souls that grimm devour but can’t actually process. Like... how else are you gonna reconcile the dust that made Adam ((the original biblical man)) with the dust of Remnant?)

Oh wow so we’re actually going for the take that the cat was evil the whole time? Is that what we’re doing? No nuance about a creature merely curious about a world outside its own? We’re going full fucking body snatcher?

I absolutely HATE this take on the Curious Cat. MKEK. Give me your addresses so I can beat your asses in the nearest Dennys parking lot. I think you sorely need some lessons in humility. Suck my entire asshole

Is Little really fucking hurt by being slung .2 feet from a tail whip? Fucking really?

And now Neo and Curious are fighting over Ruby’s fate. Someone bring back the forced love triangle of Hunger Games (which was forced by the publishers NOT the writer btw) instead of this shit before I throw myself into a lava pit because honesty it this is far shittier than HG

Wtf are Ruby’s fingers bloodied from? Wielding Crescent Rose for .2 seconds? Girl you have been handling this weapon for fucking years, but spinning it around a couple of times makes her bleed? Bitch play Paganini’s 24 Caprices then say how your fingers feel (For clarification purposes, I only know this because I’m writing characters who know how to play the violin, not because I know violin myself despite how much I fucking want to. V from DMC5 has me in a fucking chokehold lemme tell you-*dies*)

“I have been trying to wear you down for so long” BITCH FUCKING WHERE. WHERE THE ABSOLUTE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN WEARING RUBY DOWN MORE THAN HER TEAMMATES OR GENERAL FUCKING LIFE HAS ALREADY BEEN. BITHC FUCKING WEHRE

“I need to know why my makers left me here.” This makes me think that the Wonderland was structured by the shitheel gods of light and dark. Perhaps the cat was one of their compromises, which is why they’re such a wildcard? But that would make so many questions about the purpose of Wonderland itself and we all know that MKEK can’t be bothered with things like worldbuilding or nuance or anything remotely resembling intelligence (also I read once that black scelera ((the white part of the eye)) is a sign of pure truth/desire so honestly this is incredibly intriguing even though I know it won’t end in anything satisfactory)

NEO STEPS ON LITTLE BEST CHARACTER EVER 10/10

The cup sliding into frame after Ruby’s frantic eyes is literally so fucking funny how do they expect to take me seriously when the framing has the subtlety of a drunk elephant?

Ohmygod the way JWBY ran into the room like PS2 characters I’m fucking wheeazing

Ohmygod this is literally the most flaccid way to force a person into your perspective. Like... Ruby got kicked around a little bit after venturing into an OBVIOUSLY NOT GOOD PLACE and then decides to drink the airport jungle juice right as she’s about to be rescued and not ONE FUCKING CHARACTER WITH RANGED ARSENAL SHOOTS THE MUG OUT OF HER HAND

Honestly there are times where it really hits me how RWBY is a show about plot that isn’t plot instead of characters, and it’s moments like these where I’m like “damn, these people are acting to the script instead of their character huh” Like... it would’ve been something profound if the tea drinking had happened moments prior to their arrival instead of “hey watch me drink this fuckin tea while I reflect in your stupid eyeball instead of you doing literally anything about it despite that the supposed fact that you fucking raised me YANG, so watch me drop into this fuckkin hole I guess”

At the very least I guess the writers realized that Neo’s sole purpose was offing Ruby because... Roman was in her vicinity when he died???

OHMYGOD THE FACT THAT THE PERSON WHO REACTS TEH MOST TO RUBY DRINKGING THE FUCKIGN JUICCE IS CURIOUS IS FINEING SENDING ME

SHES A FUCKING CORN COB BSBE IM FUCNG CRYIGN

Okay, Curious fixating on Neo is one BILLION percent more interesting than anything jrwby has going on. Once again, fuck this main storyline bullshit and give Curious their own damn show

Also, nlg, the facct that Curious is Geometric rather than Organic in terms of design (squares vs spirals for the at home group) is super fucking cool and I desperately need an entire goddamn story abt them pronto. I would absolutely love to see how they interact with Remnant and if they’d be able to have their weird ass powers in the dimension of mortals. That is so much more interesting than literally anything our main crew has proposed in literally years, especially since these dumb mfs aint ever talked about whether or not its okay to kill a whole ass human being for their cause (and faunus are human beings. Fuck off if you think that some shtity tail or ears makes you not a whole ass person)

These mfs cannot let the bee train go for a single second can they? These bitches gotta be hit inot the sam efukcin wall while Weiss gets left all alone. Yknow. Like her family let her be for th emost part. Glad to see that RT’s priority is rainbow capitialism instead of genuine storytelling

Well that is a hentai trope I did not expert to see today. Though the fact that it’s Neo does not surprises me at fuckign all. Mmmm love me some fcking body possession. Great job Rt on making on your female characters be absolutely consumed by a foreign entity that surely isn’t a fucking metaphor for antyhign yknow the fucking facehuggers were’nt a metaphor for shit didnt yha know????

May I say to MKEK, absolutely fuck you for makign the cat an undeniable villain. Can you guys not handle even an iota of moral greyness? Can you not conceive of the idea of a situation that is not merely good vs evil? I ask you to look at the world today, and tell me that evil arises merely because it can rather than as a symptom of a society that refuses to care for all its citizens. Can you not idealize a person who, when pressed to their absolute brink, will take upon violence to ensure that the seeds they sow will bring sustenance to those who come later? For fuck’s sake I’ll take a person who idealizes themselves for morally grey reasons other than what the fuck ever these dipshits are trying to sell to me

Wow aint it so spectaculaar that Curious invaded the one person who wasn’t important to the writers plot adn now our heroes can now kill her without any iota of guilt? Aint that fucking nifty? Aint that fuckign grand? And not even a fucking thought extended to teh idea tha Crurius wanted to see the outside world. THat was their main reason for helping the siblings right? Because Alyx promised them that she would bring him to Remnant? But taht whole plotline is gone because it’s jsut TOO SPICY FOLKS. Can’t have anything interesting in our show about FAIRTYTALES whene we’re in a FAIRTYTALE LAND

Honestly, fuck you MKEK, fuck you RT, fuck you any god that ever alloweed existence to happen. THis is fucking bullshit

It was only through looking up the info on the internet that I learned that Roman Torchwick’s og VA died of colon cancer prior to this volume (2022). Mr Kametz, I hope you rest well and know that your expertise was greatly appreciated. May you know peace in the beyond

Juuzou Suzuya X Ghoul!Reader

    You stood in front of the CCG, eyes full of mischief. 

        Walking right in you eyed the "Ghoul Detectors". You inwardly scoffed. Please, any ghoul could get through that if they know how to hide their genes, you wanted to make a scene to emphasize your entrance though.

        Turning to one of the worker you simply smiled and stood in your place.

        "Ma'am, please walk though. If you want to get in you have to go through here." His voice sounded bored.

        "Sorry but no. Could you possibly get Juuzou out here? I believe he is looking for me." You calmly denied his request and asked your own.

        "Ma'am, please walk though the gate."

        "I can't do that." You stated with a closed eye smile.

        "Why?" The worker asked exaspeatedly.

        "Cause I would set it off."  You smile widened, showing all your white teeth.

        The worked seemed stunned before activating lockdown mode by pressing a button near him. He swung out his quinque, alarms blaring and audible clicks of the building securing itself.

        Amon, Juuzou, and other members burst out of doors to the front to meet you. Weapons were at the ready as they stood surrounding the gates with you a distance away.

        "State your business ghoul. It was not wise for you to come here alone." Amon called out it you.

        "Who said I cam here alone?" You replied opening your eyes, wide smile still present.

        The investigators became alert, eyes darting for an ambush.

        You giggled, raising your hand to attempt to hide it. "I'm kidding silly! I just really wanted to say that! Didn't I sound so cool? I really am alone!" You then spotted the white haired male, clutching his scythe and smiling at you. "NO! OMG! This can't be real! JUUZOU! You came out here for me?!" You batted your eyelashes in a flirty manner and overdramatizized your gestures and words.

        Amon's eyes narrowed at you. "Ghoul, do not fool around. We have you surrounded and outnumbered, you are out of your league here."

        You gasped. "How dare you assume my species! I hate to break it to you but how would you know if I'm a ghoul? You really wouldn't know."

        "What do you mean?" Amon was getting tired of your games and simply played along to speed up the process.

        "Ahha! Now we are getting somewhere! You see Mr. Trigger finger over there got a little too excited and pressed the oh no ghoul button when I never walked through the detector thingy."

        "What." Everyone murmured and glared at the worke ryou pointed out.

        "She said she would set it off!" He attempted to defend himself.

        "I did say that, didn't I? Learn what a joke it!" You giggled again, worrying the few who were paying attention to your psych.

        "Prove it!" The worker challenged, attempting to redeem himself.

        "If I go through the gate thingy, I get to see Juuzou, right?" 

        Everyone looked at Juuzou, who excitedly swung his scythe and nodded maniaclly as well. "I'm ready for either outcome!"

        "They're both crazy..." The investigators thought to themselves.

        "I guess, just walk through the gate please."

        You sighed dramatically and made a big scene of hesitating. "You sure it's safe?" You smirked as you acted guilty.

        "Stop stalling, woman."

        "Oooh name change! Whatever though, you take the fun out of everything." You straightened your back and walked through the gate while looking at your nails boredly.

        The light turned green idicating human, causing some officers to sigh in reliege and to glare at the worker who panicked. "Don't waste time like that." They scolded him.

        You heard him getting reprimanded but you were running into the arms of Juuzou. He swung his scythe at you out of instinct, the swing was quick and swirled dust around. Gasps were heard from the workers and a worried Amon called out to him. Amon didn't know what to do if they had a dead civilian on their hands because of an officer. 

        You were not worried as you dodged around the swing and wrapped your arms around his neck, snuggling into his arms.

        Juuzou supported your weight when you clung onto him, your legs wrapping around him. "How did you dodge that!?" He excitedly whispered into your ear.

        "That's what years of boxing does for you." You murmured into his neck, breath tickling his throat.

        Unsure of what to do now, the stitched up man simply skipped back to the offices with you clung onto him like a koala.

        After the office disengaged from lockdown, everything seemed normal again at the office. Granted you were still there, refusing to let go of Juuzou.

        "So...what did you say your name was again?" A woman officer asked, standing next to Amon.

        "I didn't." You yawned and if it was possible you snuggled more into Juuzou, who assumed a sitting position in a spinny chair.

        "How do you know Juuzou?" The same woman pried again.

        "Stories." 

        "Oh, so do you like him?"

        Your head shot up from Juuzou's shoulder at the question. "Like him? Are you insane?"

        Unbeknonwst to everyone, Juuzou was slightly disappointed as you were the only person to show interest in him.

        "Sorry I didn't real-" The woman attempted to apologize.

        You cut her off. "I LOVE HIM! He is my everything! If I so much as hear a ghoul going after my love, I kill them! I made sure everyone knows that he is mine and HANDS OFF.." You continued to rambled about this was your territory and no one will every hurt Juuzou on your watch.

        The officers were once again alert at the tell tale signs that you were a ghoul. Juuzou was now sitting up with you still on his laps but his hands found their way to your ass, supporting you as you waved your arms around and rambled.

        "And how exactly do you kill these ghouls without a quinque?" Amon questioned, silver briefcase in his hand, his eyes narrowing at you once again.

        "Whoops, said too much!" You innocently curled your lips up to a small smile.

        "No! I would like to know too!" The white haired male pulled you close as an act of persuasion. 

        You let out a squeak of surprise at his forwardness and stuttered out. "I-I can't tell you! You'll hate me! You'll kill me! It's not my fault! I love you, Juuzou! Please don't hate me!" You sobbed out before abruptedly grabbing Juuzou's cheeks. You pulled him in, lips molding together. Juuzou worked over his shock and drifted his hands upwards tangling in your hair kissing back. You put years of longing and wanting in the kiss, your tongues battling.

        The officers were uncomfortable, to say the least, and some looked away with red stained cheeks.

        You finally broke apart, a string of saliva still connecting you two together. You pulled back and got off his lap, ready to make a run for it.

        At that moment, (He knew, he fucked up. XD jk) familar sirens ran throughout the office once again. The sound of an intercom came on, a voice following after. "This is not a drill! The Blackdogs have entered the building! Backup needed at the lobby entrance!" Investigators scrambled for their quinques and rushed out to aid their comrades, somehow still looking professional all the while. You saw the battle first hand, sneaking after them through the commotion. The CCG was losing, which surprised you. You saw Amon and Juuzou and that woman doing very well, but the others...not so much. Turns out a lot of the higher ranks were gone on long term missions or this was their day off.

        The ghouls were still low level, there just were a ton of them. You racked your brain as you swear you've heard the name Blackdogs before. Oh. It was those losers.

        One of the Blackdogs member had entered your grounds and had come after Juuzou right away. Juuzou had already finished him off, but you noticed the numbers that followed that small ghoul. You were quick to take care of it and beat some information out of one ghoul, while sending another ghoul with your message to leave your territory. 

        This pissed you off as you specifically told them to leave or you would rip them to shreds only to watch their limbs grow back and repeat. You growled and yelled out.

        "STOP YOU FILTHY DOGS! WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO STEP INTO MY TERRITORY? TO TRY AND HURT MY JUUZOU!" Your eyes turned black and your irises shrunk to red. Your kagune crawled out of your back, eight spider like appendages swung around from your back. Your hair grew longer and string like and dyed a pure white. You disappeared for a second, before reappearing in front of one small group of ghouls, your kagune each found a target and stabbed into their hearts. After your kagunes went through, the ends encompassed them completely and squished them into a flesh ball.

        Looks of realization came from both sides. The SSS+ rated ghoul Spider Queen, sports a eight eyed mask and long white silky string like hair. With eight leg like kagunes that act as offense, defense, and arms and legs as well. They were long with a black base color, a glowing white highlight in each. 

        You hissed out. "Who is your leader? Or was the leader such a coward to fall behind the group~" You saw a ghoul close to on of the entrances they blew in, he was creeping back, kagune not out but eyes a black red. "Found you~" Your crawled over there in a spider like manner with your Kagune. You were quick and took up a large amount of space when you rose yourself up with your kagune. You picked him up with one of your spider like appendages and brought him to eye level, since you were raised up by some of your "legs". 

        You patted his orange flat hair and spat in his face. "You chose the wrong territory to invade. Did I not warn you the first time you came after my love and dirtied my city with your face? You are dead meat." You then did what you had done to the other ghouls unlucky enough to stand in your way and compressed him into a flesh ball. Your left hand reached for the flesh ball that had fallen to the floor and your took a large bite out of it, before swallowing the rest whole.

        The other ghouls had begin to retreat and you snatched a few more snacks on your way to the escape hole yourself. "Tell everyone of what transpired today, little ghouls, that is if I haven't eaten you yet!" The words slipped out before you realized what you implied. Any educated CCG investigator would know that ghoul cannibalizing other ghouls gave a rare chance that they could gain a special kagune, kakuja. They could make an educated guess that you had one since you never seemed to have any visible scratches from rubble or an attack, not that anyone could get close enough to attack you.

        You glanced at Juuzou with a sad smile, watching him process that he kissed a ghoul. "Bye, love.." You whispered to yourself before speeding off.

        The investigators were knocked out of their trance when you left, still processing that THE Spider Queen had infiltrated headquarters with no problem and then HELPED the CCG. 

        Juuzou was shook. (Jungshook xD)

        He was intrigued by you, but at the same time wanted to be the one who killed you. You were a ghoul after all. 

        You sat on the very top of a construction crane, feet dangling and eyes still black and red. You didn't stay long enough to find out what happened after the invasion.You saved your love and left. 

        This one sided love. How long will it last?

A/N

This has been sitting for a while on paper. I had written about 2/3 of it on paper and decided to finish it. I want to write a story about Juuzou X Reader, but never had the motivation so it's just a one shot or maybe twoshot if I decide to continue it and the readers like it. 

  I’ve always loved Juuzou so I wanted to do something dedicated to him. I know he would most likely kill MC since she is a ghoul, but I like to dream ;-;

Your fellow warrior,

Izzy

Day 1: Dare

-------------

This, was a bad idea.

Maka stared at the bottle in front of her with a grimace, hoping if she stared at it long enough it would just disappear. She watched as BlackStar poured a row of shots.

One, two, three, four.

This was a very, very bad idea.

“Alright Maka.” His mischievous grin was faced in her direction, and it made her uneasy. The dark fluid in the shot glasses mocked her, the potent smell of alcohol wafting through the air. “You have to do all four shots in 10 seconds, or you lose. Think you can handle it? Or do you admit defeat?” She grimaced at him as he cackled, babbling on about his godliness. Out of pure spite, Maka took him up on the challenge. Surely enough, she downed the shots in the time allotted, only hesitating once.

It was rare that either of them got the time to just let loose. Admittedly they hadn’t been the best of friends, but they understood each other better than most. The biggest issue was their tempers. Their friends like to say they weren’t compatible, which may be true, but they’d say otherwise. They happened to get mad at similar rates, but that didn’t mean they didn’t care for each other any less. If they were completely honest, they may as well have been siblings.

“How’s Tsubaki? I haven’t seen her in a while. I miss her.” She watched him pour another shot, noting the bottle was nearly gone at this point.

“She’s good! Her old man is happy to see her again, and she says Japan is nice.” He inspected the shot glass for a second before tossing it back swiftly. “She misses you too.”

Maka could have sworn his eyes faded a shift distant look to them. One he only wore when he thought of said woman. Tsubaki had been a very important part of both of their lives, but most notably BlackStar’s. For as long as Maka knew him, he was always rough around the edges. Tsubaki softened him. Made him more open. He was still an egotistical maniac, but he was much more tolerable to be around. For her, Tsubaki was simply her best friend. She always told her the truth, even when it wasn’t what she wanted to here. Tsubaki kept her grounded, which was not an easy feat.

“When is she coming home? I’ve been craving her miso soup.” A small pot formed on her lips as she spoke. “I’ve tried a few places, but they don’t make it the same.” Her friend responded with hearty laugh, and their banter continued through the night. By the time 3 am rolled around, they were both incredulously drunk.

“I have a question.” Black Star lay on the floor, Maka next to him. He turned to his head to her, a serious expression on his face.

“Shoot.”

“Do you love Soul?” She could feel the air leave her body, her blood running a little cold. She looked back up to the ceiling, her brow furrowed as she thought of the right words.

“I want to say yes.” She could feel his gaze on her still, not daring to look back.

“But?”

“But I don’t think I can do anything about it.”

“Why?”

“I know it isn’t fair to blame them, but everything that happened between my parents definitely impacted my outlook on life in general.” He hummed, letting her continue as he listened. “Whether I want to admit it or not, I’m emotionally stunted. Love is not, and probably never will be, an easy word for me to use or understand.” He lay quietly beside her, a rare occurrence. Maka would’ve assumed her were dead if he weren’t blinking.

“Tell him that.” She turned to face him abruptly, disbelief plastered on her face.

“What?”

“Tell him exactly what you just told me. He should hear it for himself.” BlackStar did not give advice, let alone good advice. The very premise of the idea was absurd, and Maka would say she didn’t believe it if she wasn’t hearing it for herself.

“As appealing as that sounds, I think I’ll pass.” He shot up next to her, a wicked grin appearing.

“What about a good old-fashioned dare.”

“I refuse.” She spoke with a bite, but he remained unfazed.

“Your God does not accept that answer.” She groaned as he stood up, pulling her to her feet as well.

“We aren’t children BlackStar. This is ridiculous.” Her groans fell on deaf ears as he pulled out his cellphone and started tapping. She could hear the faint sound of the phone connecting, before an all too familiar voice resounded from the speaker.

“Hey Star, what’s up?” Soul.

“BlackStar what-" Her protests were ignored as he walked away from her, quietly snickering into the phone. The conversation was short, but Maka knew he was up to something.

“Alright, minion.” His arms were crossed triumphantly as he spoke. “Time for your dare.” Maka was now hyper aware of how drunk she was, the room spinning viciously as her anxiety rose. “You’re going to tell Soul exactly what you told me, and have a nice heart to heart.”

“That’s why you called him? To get him over here for a heart to heart? What the hell kind of a dare is that?” She was slurring her words at this point, but she wasn't sure she cared. Soul was on his way, and there wasn't any getting out of this. Not with BlackStar there. “What exactly did you tell him?” Her eyes were narrowed as she stared daggers his way. A mischievous smile made its way onto his face and laughter erupted from his mouth. She definitely felt uneasy.

“I told him you were drunk off your ass and need a ride home because you can't handle a little booze.” If embarrassment could kill, she would definitely be six feet under right now. Her partner, a Death Scythe, was coming to get her at 3 am under the notion that she’s too drunk to function. It wasn't fast from the truth, but the real reason he was on his way was much worse. BlackStar was forcing her to confront feelings she has buried for nearly a decade. Blackstar, one of the densest people she knew, was meddling with her love life. This was probably the lowest she could get on the totem pole of life. Nothing about the situation unfolding around her was okay, and she wanted to jump out of the window. “And if you don’t do it, you’re covering my patrol for the next week.”

Now that wasn’t fair. BlackStar’s capabilities made it easier for him to cover more ground quickly, so he was in charge of patrolling Death City. Maka couldn’t say the same for her own abilities, and the thought of patrolling an area that large was exhausting in itself. It’d take her the whole day.

It wasn’t too long before there was a knock on the door. “That was fast! Almost as fast as me!” BlackStar opened the door emphatically, the same shit eating grin still plaguing his face. “Heya, Soul! Come on in!” He led him in by the shoulders rather forcefully before planting himself on his sofa. Soul’s eyes wandered to the two empty bottles of vodka and the many shot glasses strewn about.

“When I said get out of the house, I didn’t mean give yourself alcohol poisoning.” His hand dragged though his hair, and he turned to BlackStar. “You could have held back a little, dude.”

“Gods don’t hold back, Soul! I have to do everything a hundred and ten percent!” Soul si.ply rolled his eyes, turning back to Maka. “You ready to go?” A slight grunt could be heard from BlackStar, the dare still hanging over her head.

“Yeah but um-“ a blush crept its way up her neck and she could feel her skin getting hotter. “Ihavesomethingimportanttotellyou.” Her sentence came out incoherent, even to her. Soul gave her a quizzical look and she could almost feel BlackStar’s wicked grin.

“One more time, but in English please.” Now this was embarrassing. Bearing her emotions to him like this was bad enough, but BlackStar watching was just cruel.

“I have something,” the pause was longer than it had been meant to be, and the air was suddenly thick. “I have something to tell you.” Suddenly BlackStar stirred, pulling the attention his way for a moment. Maka could almost think again.

“I'll leave you two be for a moment. A star such as myself will only steal the moment.” He stretched as he stood, walking into his room with a wink at Maka. She was thankful he had the mercy to give them space, but irritated that he put her in this position to begin with. The world was still spinny, and she knew her speech was slurred and slow. Regardless, she was determined to get the dare over with. Liquid courage was slightly helpful, giving her the false sense of confidence to say what she needed to.

“I am very bad at feelings.” It did not come out the way she wanted it to at all. Soul was patient, though, and let her continue. “I feel things but it’s confusing and I am emotionally challenged so I never understand.” She was speaking slowly, over enunciating the words as she said them. Soul came closer, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. She felt a little steadier, but the world was still spinning.

“I already know that, Maka.” His red eyes looked into hers fondly. “Why don’t we get you home.” He turned so he was standing beside her, one hand on the lower part of her back and the other holding her hand to guide her. He nudged her gently, ready to walk her out, but she stopped him.

“I can’t go yet. I didn’t do the thing.” His brow was quirked in a way that fascinates Maka. Each of his facial expressions was so intriguing and they were always so intense, so Soul. She really liked his face.

“What thing, Maka?”

She tried to speak, but the words didn’t formulate the way she wanted them to. Why was it so easy to explain to BlackStar before? What did she say then?

“Words and stuff are really hard, and I’m not good at this. Maybe I should try a different approach?” She wasn’t really speaking to him at this point, more so just voicing her thoughts. She wanted to express the feelings she had, but it’s hard when you don’t understand them. She knew she felt differently about Soul than she did other people, but love was such a terrifying concept to her. Was that really what she felt?

Why don’t we-" she cut him off, pressing her lips to his roughly. She lingered for a second before pulling back, leaving a little space between them. The initial shock of the kiss was still there, but Soul snapped himself out of it. “You wanna tell me what that was for?”

“I’m not really good at feelings.” She was repeating herself, but this time she had an idea of what she was wanted to say. “I know what I want to do, but J never really have the answer why. I wanted to kiss you, but I don’t know why.” She held the next part in, but she knew she had to say it. “I think I’m scared of what it all means.”

Arms we wrapped around her, pulling her into a warm embrace. The room was silent as he held her, rubbing her back soothingly. She let her head rest against his chest comfortably as they stood together. The moment was broken by laughter, and Soul whipped his head in the direction of the noise. BlackStar stood in his doorway with his phone recording the entire exchange.

“Dude, not cool!” Soul glared incessantly as BlackStar fell to floor in a fit of laughter. Maka was still clad against Soul's chest, unable to focus on much else other than the steady beat of his heart. She felt a gentle tap against her back and looked up at Soul. He was clearly agitated by BlackStar, but there was still a noticeable softness to his expression. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

-------

Wooooot! We love SoMa week! Heavy on the Maka and BlackStar brotp because I feel like they bond over Tsubaki and despite their differences, they do see each other as siblings.

@soulxmakaweek

lost and found

fandom: star wars: the clone wars (loosely assorted canon)

words: 17,421

ship: ahsoka/barriss

author’s note: what if we used to be best friends until you betrayed me, and ten years down the line you save my life and give us the chance to start over... aha... just kidding... unless? 

anyway @mirrormystic and i are proud to present our barrisoka post-clone wars collab! barriss has a gun. ahsoka, being ahsoka, is perfect. what more could you want from a piece of transformative fiction??

They had chased her across two planets now. A combination of luck, skill, and an insistent  go run flee  pulsing through the Force has kept Ahsoka’s head firmly attached to her shoulders so far, but the Inquisitorius is relentless. Having a hot meal in a cantina? Bam, Inquisitor kicking down the doors-- Inquisitor sprawled on the floor, Purge Troopers tripping over him, fumbling for their blasters, and Ahsoka, forced to eat and run for the third time in a month. And if it’s not them, it’s bounty hunters, or pirates, or worst of all,  slavers. She’d been careful not to let them catch her going anywhere important, but there was nowhere she could go where they wouldn’t eventually sniff her out, so she’d thought,  kriff it,  and flew straight to Coruscant. If she was going to be dogged no matter where she went, she might as well send a message: “I’m better than the very best you can throw at me.” It had been a plan Anakin would have been proud of. It almost worked, too. Then the Force-- the very same Force that saved her from droids, bounty hunters, pirates, old friends and enemies and the order that killed everyone Ahsoka ever cared about-- saw fit to send her careening into a dead end alley, with no way out besides the way she came... …Right into the arms of  the hooded figures flooding the alley, neon lights glinting off their eyeless masks. Thanks,  Ahsoka thinks venomously at the Force, sacred lifeblood of the universe.  Thanks a lot, really. Ahsoka stops counting bodies after five. The Inquisitors don't deign to speak as they ignite their sabers--or whatever that dual-bladed spinny thing is supposed to be. If they're not bothering with banter, Ahsoka won't either. It’s almost gratifying to know that she’s annoyed them as much as they’ve annoyed her. For a moment, no one moves. Ahsoka catches her reflection on the blank, gleaming plate of the lead Inquisitor's helm and bares her fangs. The alley erupts into chaos. Motion. Heat. Ahsoka becomes the pure white eye of a blazing red hurricane. Ahsoka ducks and weaves around flashes of red lightning, some figurative, some literal. The air fills with the whirring chop of lightsabers spinning like buzzsaws, but Ahsoka isn’t intimidated. She darts through the chaotic melee with grace and poise, a far cry from the clumsy brutes arrayed against her, shoving past one another to land the prestigious killing blow, unable to press their advantage of numbers. And what numbers! There must have been a dozen Inquisitors packed into the gritty side street. Ahsoka wonders-- in the midst of darting aside sloppy slashes and swatting overly-telegraphed blows aside-- if they had simply joined forces as more and more of them picked up her trail, or if the Empire had sent so many after her from the very beginning. This many Inquisitors on the same planet, much less the same city, is astounding overkill. Ahsoka’s almost flattered. Filthy red light flashes through the air and cracks against Ahsoka’s blades. She shoves them back with a thought, feeling the Inquisitors’ frustration rippling through the air. The Inquisitorius seemed to think a red lightsaber and a nice hat were all it took to scare any fledgling Force-sensitives into submission. They must not be used to fighting a Jedi worthy of the name. But even if they were amateurs by comparison, there were a lot of them. And all it took was one slip, one break in Ahsoka’s guard… She sees the feint. Two low, one high-- two to sweep her legs, the third to catch her when she jumps. She curls her legs beneath her, lets the Force flow down from her core into the soles of her boots, and leaps over all three… ...only to see the waiting line of a half dozen hands, stretched, palm-out, towards her. The coordinated Push hits her like a freighter lighting its drives. It snatches her out of mid-air and hurls her down the length of the alley. Ahsoka wheezes as she’s smashed against the far wall, the breath forced from her lungs, her lightsabers clattering to the pavement. She crumples to her knees, hugging herself, a spiderweb of cracks spreading across the duraplast wall above. Ahsoka gasps, teary-eyed, willing some air back into her lungs. Her insides feel like jelly. Her vision blurs and shifts. She sees the shadows of the Inquisitors looming above her, closing in like wolves. One of them barks an order into his helmet mic, and the others stand aside. He strides forward to the head of the pack. He’s been hunting her the longest. This is his kill. Ahsoka swears she hears him lick his lips behind the mask. He ignites his lightsaber. It begins to spin-- A blaster clicks. The Inquisitor whirls and brings his saber up too late to deflect the shot that cracks against his arm. His lightsaber falls from numb fingers, still spinning, cutting glowing gouges in the pavement. Ahsoka twists the Force in her fist and dashes him against the wall. A hail of acid yellow bolts cascades down the alley, forcing the Inquisitors on the defensive. Their opponent stands at the entrance of the alleyway, casting a shadow that stretches narrow from their feet to titanic against the filthy alley wall. Ahsoka sees the shape of a hood and cloak, and when their blaster barks in their hands she catches the briefest glimpse of pale skin and a narrow, snarling mouth. A shiver runs through her. She feels it from the tips of her montrals all the way down to the pit of her gut. Ahsoka  knows  this stranger, but who-- She almost pays with her nose for her distraction. The Inquisitor whose helm she shattered against the alley wall leaps to his feet and lashes out with his spinning sabers, blood drooling from the cracks in his helm. Ahsoka catches a blade with her main saber and lets the motion of it drag the Inquisitor within thrusting range of her shoto. Another Inquisitor lunges, but a shot cracks against their helmet. A glancing blow, but it still distracts them long enough for Ahsoka to whirl and turn her thrust into a slash, searing through their saber arm. The Inquisitor falls. The other, with his spinning blades, lets out a ragged cry and pounces. Blaster fire harmonizes with the hum and crash of colliding sabers, a frantic, dissonant symphony. Something strange is at work here-- even if it weren’t for the horrible, lurching knot of familiarity sitting in her gut, the stranger’s shooting would have tipped Ahsoka off eventually. Blasters are great for crowd control. Blasters are great against people who couldn’t deflect them as easily as one might shoo an annoying insect. Blasters should not be anywhere near effective in a fight consisting entirely of Force-users. But this stranger’s shots are landing. Not lethally and not often, but the stranger is proving to be capable of more than just cover fire, and that-- that alone would be worth noticing. Unfortunately, it seems the Inquisitors have finally picked up on it. In frustration at being distracted from their quarry, the rear ranks of Inquisitors adjust their grip on their lightsabers and tighten their deflections. When the hooded gunner looses their next volley, the bright yellow bolts are angled right back where they came from. The stranger shifts their weight, darting away from their deflected fire with a speed and efficiency of movement that gives Ahsoka pause. If Ahsoka had had any doubt this was no ordinary concerned bystander, it’s long gone. An Inquisitor barks a garbled order over their helmet radio. Down the street, a squad of Purge Troopers rounds the corner, bringing their rifles up to aim. A second blaster appears in the stranger’s off-hand, as if conjured out of nothing. They gun down the troopers barreling down the street with clinical efficiency and absurd precision, single shots, quick, clean. They don’t even bother turning to look. And when the last trooper falls, the stranger turns their attention back on the alley, toggling from single-shot to full-auto with a click. A storm of searing yellow bolts stitches its way up the side of the neighboring complex. A creaking old fire escape is sheared from the wall. The Inquisitors cry out in alarm as the aging structure crashes down on their heads in a heap of sparking metal. Ahsoka channels the Force down into her feet and propels herself over the wreckage and the rising dust cloud, joining the stranger on the street. Already, she can hear the buzzing of spinning lightsabers scything through metal, the first Inquisitors emerging from the debris. In an instant, the stranger has their twin blasters up and firing. The stranger’s pushed their luck too far. The Inquisitor spins their ring blade, and this time, the storm of deflected bolts makes contact. An arm. A hand. The stranger cries out as a bolt clips their hood and the impact throws them to the ground. That voice. Ahsoka  knows  that voice-- A flash of red streaks past her face and stops just shy of carving into her chest. Ahsoka catches the blade on her own, grits her teeth, and slices her opponent open with a tight, scissoring slash. As the Inquisitor crumples, she sees two of his compatriots already rushing forward to take his place, the others already picking themselves off the ground. Ahsoka snarls, hunkering down against the renewed assault. The Inquisitors are finally getting serious-- or maybe she’s the one getting sloppy. Distracted. She’s distracted-- but she can’t get that voice out of her head. She senses the Inquisitor trying to sneak up on her from behind. She senses him, but she can’t stop him-- her lightsabers are locked against the two in front of her. Ahsoka grits her teeth. She cries out, takes a pair of glancing cuts along her bracers as she punches her blades across two throats. She feels something. A tug at her waist. Behind her. She whirls around, bringing her lightsabers up to defend. Too slow, too slow-- And she sees the Inquisitor go stiff as a board, a blade of acid yellow plasma punching through his spine and coming out through his chest. The stranger swipes the blade aside, and the man crumples. The woman-- and with her cloak pulled aside and her tunic hugging her curves, her womanhood is impossible for Ahsoka to ignore-- raises the yellow shoto in her uninjured hand, pulling her hood back up onto her head. Ahsoka blinks, her thoughts spinning. The shoto Anakin had given her years ago. Her empty belt pouch. The sensation of the Force pulling something from her belt. And those eyes. Though the woman tries to hide them under her hood, the yellow glow of her borrowed shoto catches her ocean-blue eyes, illuminating the faded arch of diamond tattoos across her nose. Ahsoka gasps. “Barriss?” Ahsoka’s senses flare in warning and she whirls around, catching an Inquisitor’s blade on her twin lightsabers. The Inquisitors descend upon them, snapping and snarling like wolves. Ahsoka stands her ground like a cliff against the sea, blocking strikes from every angle, swatting aside incoming attacks, letting her foes overreach, pull themselves off balance. And in her shadow, Barriss prowls, Ahsoka’s yellow shoto like a dagger of light in her hands. Barriss circles around like a jungle cat, hunting for weaknesses, plunging her shoto into every broken guard. The next few minutes feel like hours. Finally, the last member of the hunting party lies broken on the pavement, his helmet radio crackling. Barriss stabs him in the throat without batting an eye. Barriss deactivates the shoto and shifts it into her injured hand with a wince. One of her blasters, she scoops up from the sidewalk where she’d dropped it. The other, sparking from a ruptured power cell, she leaves where it fell. She turns to find Ahsoka staring, so intently she squirms and looks away. It takes Ahsoka a long moment to deactivate her lightsabers and put them away. Ahsoka exhales. It’s been years. What is she supposed to say? That’s when Ahsoka hears it-- the crackling of radio chatter. Armored boots hustling their way. “Where’s your ship?” Barriss asks-- the first words she’s said to Ahsoka in over a decade. “Why, you don’t think we can take ‘em?” Ahsoka asks dryly, with a daredevil grin. Barriss’ lips curl into something almost like a smile. Ahsoka feels a flicker of… something in her chest. Something old, and bittersweet. It doesn’t last. The blurts of helmet comms and tromping boots get ever closer. “Your ship,” Barriss echoes, rather more urgently. “...Right,” Ahsoka mutters. “Follow me.”

continue on ao3

Top 10 Best Rwby Fights

Waiting for the new volume, thought I would rank the top 10 Best Rwby Fights so far.

Ranking under the cut.

5. Food Fight (Best Day Ever)

This is absolutely delightful, just eight friends dicking around and playing with their food. It's the only time we ever see Rwby and Jnpr go head to head, and different team members with different styles are pitted against each other (Ren and Yang, Pyrrha and Blake) as well as people with similar styles (Ren and Weiss, Nora and Yang). 

The ideas was very simple, 'let's just have a stereotypical food fight, but with warrior children' and everything about this episode conforms to it to create an amazing display. I mean, they even remake their weapons with food, and use their semblances to give themselves an edge! 

It's fast paced, and keeps up it's rhythm throughout, never faltering. It's as fun to watch as I assume it was to write and animate.

4. Rwby vs. Paladin (Painting the Town)

I have always been incredibly fond of team fights; of multiple people being so in sync that they just mesh together in battle, and Team Rwby vs the Paladin in Painting the Town is the very first example of this. While Yang is the one to bring Roman down in the end, it's the team's dynamics that severely weaken it. 

Bumblb, Checkmate, Ladybug, Freezerburn, Ice Flower, all these attacks combine the two girls unique fighting styles to create something completely new, and it's great. It's a shame that these never come up again, because it would be interesting to see how they changed from then.

3. Pyrrha vs. Cinder (End of the Beginning)

Pragmatic fighting is one of the best forms of fighting, of using the area around you to your advantage to try and win a fight, and holy hell, is it used here. Cinder is basically a demigod now, but Pyrrha is still ready and willing to throw down. 

Cinder is stronger than Pyrrha but Pyrrha's prodigal combat training means she can keep up with Cinder as they both try and get an edge over their opponent. 

Pyrrha using the clock pieces to try and kill Cinder on the tower is amazing, as is Cinder summoning the dragon to distract Pyrrha. Neither of them are fighting fair, and it's great, because that is what a fight to the death should look like. No wondering about playing fair, of hesitation, they are both trying to kill eachother. 

2. Neo vs. Yang (No Brakes)

Ah, Neo. When I first saw her, I thought her design was interesting, and then kind of put her out of my mind. I didn't even know who she was the first time around, it was only when I rewatched the series that I realised the girl from Painting the Town was the same from No Brakes.

Yang's style has always been pretty generic; just basic punches and kicks with some explosions thrown in between. Nothing wrong with that, it's always good to have a brawler, but that kind of ridiculously offensive fighting, trying to force a weakness in your opponent has it's downsides. 

Enter Neo, who, in the span of three minutes, stole my heart. Her style is ridiculously simple, and the complete opposite to Yang's; she stays on the defensive until an opportunity presents itself, and she focuses on momentum, not brute force. Her method of dodging is usually just . . getting out of the way, usually by twisting and sidestepping. It’s as straightforward as you can possible get, but mixed in with Neo’s acrobatic fighting style, is very, very effective.

Yang is also amazing in this. There are several points where she changes her own style to try and catch Neo, only for it to fail, because Neo is just that good. She manages to actually grab Neo at one point, but Neo uses her momentum to escape unharmed.

The writers and animators had a blast doing this fight, from Neo using her umbrella to temporarily blind Yang with flames, to Neo sitting down in the middle of the fight on a crate. That last one is especially important as it shows that CRWBY were paying attention to the background during the fight. Neo is such a beloved character by the fandom for her incredibly graceful fighting style. Almost everyone else has this over the top, flashy style, and so nobody else in Rwby has a style like hers, which makes her, and all her fights, incredibly memorable.

1. Neo & Roman vs. Ruby (Heroes and Monsters)

Remember how I said I loved Team Fights? Well, Neo and Roman put Rwby and the Paladin to shame.

Ruby has superspeed, a spinny scythe and plot armour, yet she still spends the entire fight getting her ass kicked. She doesn't even win by herself, a Grimm is the one to finally end it. 

The choreography in this is absolutely incredible. When you get down to it, Ruby's fighting style isn't actually that special, she mainly relies on her speed to get her through it all. But Neo and Roman aren't having any of that shit; dodging and misdirecting blows easily.

The two criminals are so in-sync, unlike with Painting the Town, they don't have to call out their attacks for the other, they just  . . . do it. There's one part where Ruby lunges at Roman, only for him to duck and allow Neo to use him like a gymnastics horse. There's another where Roman slams his cane into the ground, fire off a shot to hit Ruby in the face, and then shoot her again.

This is how you choreograph a fight scene with more than one person. It's things like this that make other fight scenes so disappointing, because this shows you just how amazing Rwby can be if they really try.

SU Movie Liveblog

I had this open in one tab and the movie in another and wrote down my thoughts, let’s go! so sorry to people on mobile.

DIAMOND SONG, DIAMOND SONG

Yeah, makes sense that two years still isn’t really enough to sway them from thinking he’s still pink in some way- especially considering even the crystal gems had that problem after thirteen years.

ICE COLD, STEVEN

his big grin when connie kisses his cheek.... SO good

FAMILIAR DID NOT PREPARE ME FOR OLDER STEVEN’S SINGING VOICE

steven getting a song about being proud of himself and knowing he’s grown into a good person is also SO GOOD

and pearl! pearl’s part! also so great!

oooh, they’re all getting a piece!

garnet referring to her first fusion with terms like parents talk about a baby is PRECIOUS

AAAAA FIRST GLIMPSE AT BBY AMETHYST.... and she comes out with weird limbs like one of those drawing pose dolls, what a nice touch!

DON’T THINK I DON’T SEE THE BETAS THERE.... but no jasper, hmm....

RECREATING THE THEME SONG, I SEE YOU...

maybe it’s because I know what’s coming but making a song called ‘happily ever after’ is just asking for disaster, honey...

Steven Regrets Tempting Fate

steven looks younger when spinel asks who he is and that HAS to be by design.

hmm... is the gem drill connected to her form somehow, with how she formed her hand and it came out?

oooh boy, I’m gonna guess.... spurned member of pink’s court?

SPINEL GETS A SONG RIGHT AWAY, AND HER ANIMATION IS SO FUN

I LOVE IT

and ‘other friends’? yeah, definitely part of pink’s former court.

HER WEAPON IS A FUCKING SCYTHE HOLY SHIT

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuuuuuuck

‘holy s-he really got everybody!’ the boy is 16 greg, he can hear A Swear

oh shit, THIS THING TAKES YOU BACK TO ‘RESTART’ MODE, THAT’S WHY STEVEN’S POWERS DON’T WORK- THEY DIDN’T UNTIL HE WAS AROUND 13

well, THIS is uncomfortable, but it is always nice to hear pearl sing

the expressions seem... idk, extra cartoony here? pearl’s face is so round and everyone’s eyes look extra big. idk if it fits, but it’s probably meant to be a bit unsettling.

huh. someone smarter than me at analysis will have to talk about amethyst’s mimicking.

damn, they really did try to pacify pink with gifts of gems, didn’t they? I can already see so clearly what happened.

‘it took me MONTHS to stop trying to kill steven!’ peridot is so good

and then bismuth and lapis just build on it, NICE

that pose, with him having a hand on his face and looking back at the injector.... I swear either him or greg have had that EXACT pose in some other episode.

okay, pink was hyper and childish, but even she would have gotten bored and annoyed with spinel. I bet spinel was commissioned specifically by blue, but the pink that blue thought she knew, not the one that actually existed.

wow, about fourteen minutes. pretty short turnaround time for a ‘well shit that went bad fast’ reprise.

spinel’s little squeaky shoes during the reprise is... wow

BISMUTH GETS PART OF A SONG....

‘hijinks will ensue’

ANIME-ASS GARNET REFUSION....

if I was new!garnet I’d be scared and confused too... cmon, steven. she clearly looks really disjointed rn.

the first time I actually said ‘oh my GOD’ out loud in this movie was pearl rolling out the stairs and the red carpet

I OWN A CAR WASH

oh geez. boy do I think I know exactly why pink ditched her.

okay, we are.... about halfway through the movie. I do admit I didn’t think this would take this long.

also sandals as tap shoes?

the comic timing of amethyst opening her eyes and look over made me wheeze with laughter.

‘I’m back, you dip.’

also having amethyst be the first to come back was probably a good call.

holy shit is that ACTUAL BLOOD

‘you’re going to die ANYWAY’ gee thanks peridot

oh hey, rebecca as an extra, I think!

I love seeing how sadie’s letting her hair grow out the dye- it makes such a cool effect. and yeah that was how service jobs felt.

steven is just ‘what did I do to deserve this...’

geez, even years after he’s accepted things, steven’s still got a bit of a tight spot regarding rose. not surprised, though.

GARNET, THEY’RE MISSING GARNET, OOOOH

YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS I’VE WANTED THIS FOR /YEARS/, NOT UNDER THIS CIRCUMSTANCE BUT I’LL TAKE IT

I love how easy it is, same as it was for smoky the first time. steven fuses easiest with his family.

okay who the hell is that voice, I checked on imdb and it’s probably either chance the rapper or gallant since those are the unlisted named ones

WHY IS HE BUFF, THIS IS A RIPOFF, BOTH STEVEN AND GREG ARE SOFT BOYS...

yeah.... I don’t like his design. this is the first fusion I really didn’t like that of. ugh.

d’awww, garnet’s wearing steven’s jacket

they threw in the pilot design again!

OPAL SINGING, and admittedly, I do like the steven and greg fusion’s voice

ooooh boy heading for that ocean of poison ain’t gonna do him any favors

pink.... she recreated that garden, made it her sanctuary on earth. she didn’t have only bad memories of it- she must not have realized how much she mattered to spinel like she didn’t realize she mattered to the other diamonds.

the distorted almost circus-like music....

A SONG FROM PINK HOLY COW. wait... that voice sounds really different. is that the same voice actress?

yiiiiiiiiiiiikes. geez I see the reasoning here, holy COW.

‘actually, I can totally believe it’ yeah, as much as I like pink, boy did she fuck up a few times

okay, we got 24 minutes left, this can’t work, right? although spinel only cracked somewhat recently, it sounds like. so really, she’s not that far gone- and considering what we know, probably didn’t fully understand the consequences of her actions.

greg. greg. gross.

I... dunno really how to feel about the su movie being.... basically what everyone who misinterprets su says it is. spinel was made to be redeemed in twenty minutes. her backstory makes it almost shockingly easy. she’s technically the only villain to actually fall like that- like it’s been pointed out, peridot took months, bismuth was already sympathetic, and the diamonds took multiple episodes and still aren’t fully there yet.

I did kinda call that it wasn’t going to be that easy, but whoof. I don’t blame steven though, kid’s under a lot of pressure and is possibly literally dying.

OH, HERE’S THE THEME SONG FOR THE MOVIE

wait.... we haven’t seen alexandrite yet, wasn’t she in the trailer....? and they’re all hugging...

the little crack in his voice between ‘please’ and ‘hurry’...

I love how spinny and magic fusions and gem reformations are in the movie....

wow, BOY did the song sound different when it was released out of context

HE’S GOT CONTROL OF PINK!STEVEN’S SHIELDS AND CRYSTAL PROJECTION SHIELDS....

he sounds so.... adult. I know it’s just that zach is 21 years old now and his voice has changed, but steven really has grown up.

‘well, I changed white diamond’s mind with a single absolutely raw insult so you can’t blame a guy for trying’

yeah I’D KINDA WORRY ABOUT THE POISON.... LIKE RIGHT NOW....

WHY ARE THEY PLAYING THE HAPPY TUNE THE POISON IS STILL A VERY PRESSING ISSUE

if this is how they fix it I’m gonna be a little annoyed, not gonna lie

I just realized spinel reacted to steg so much because it jumpstarted part of her memories- her friend left to become a ‘fusion’.

white being passive-aggressive, I see. 15000 year old habits die hard.

steven: thanks for insulting my home five minutes after getting here, grandma. bitch.

haha, diamond ex machina

“Budget” Salamangreat!

I use “budget” loosely because Artifact Sanctum is like $8-10 per copy lmao

Deck list and comments on the build below

MAIN DECK (40 Cards)

Monsters (23 Cards) 1 x Salamangreat Gazelle 3 x Salamangreat Spinny 3 x Salamangreat Foxy 2 x Salamangreat Jack Jaguar 1 x Salamangreat Fowl 1 x Salamangreat Falco 1 x Lady Debug 2 x Flame Bufferlo 3 x Backup Secretary 3 x Artifact Lancea 3 x Effect Veiler

Spells (10 Cards) 2 x Will of the Salamangreat 1 x Salamangreat Sanctuary 1 x Salamangreat Circle 1 x Fusion of Fire 2 x Pot of Desires 3 x Twin Twisters

Traps (7 Cards) 2 x Salamangreat Roar 2 x Salamangreat Rage 2 x Solemn Strike 1 x Solemn Judgement

_

EXTRA DECK (11 Links, 3 Xyz, 1 Fusion) 3 x Salamangreat Balelynx 3 x Salamangreat Sunlight Wolf 2 x Salamangreat Heatleo 1 x Hiita the Fire Charmer, Ablaze 1 x Knightmare Phoenix 1 x Borreload Dragon 2 x Salamangreat Miragestallio 1 x Abyss Dweller 1 x Salamangreat Violet Chimera

SIDE DECK (7 Monsters, 2 Spells, 6 Traps) 3 x D.D. Crow 2 x Dinowrestler Pankratops 1 x Artifact Scythe 1 x Artifact Moralltach 2 x Cosmic Cyclone 3 x Artifact Sanctum 2 x Gozen Match 1 x Imperial Order

Soooo as a deck, Salamangreat has a lot going for it. Most of the cards can be obtained from a structure deck that also includes a common reprint of Ash Blossom and Joyous Spring, one of the best “Hand Traps” in recent years (cards that can activate from the hand and interact with the opponent during their turn; does not necessarily have to be a Trap card).

The deck has seen tons and tons of use in high-level tournaments; 5 of the Top 8 finishers at the World Championship this year were all piloting Salamangreat. The deck’s combos are very consistent, able to push through a few disruptions, and don’t require many specific cards to pull off.

The deck also has several cards that either activate in the Graveyard to revive itself, or ones that pull cards from the Graveyard and can put them back to the field, hand, or deck for later turns.

Being able to execute good combos using just a few cards in hand while also being able to constantly recycle resources gives the deck plenty of room for other cards that are unrelated to the Salamangreat strategy. Cards that can prevent the opponent from making their ideal or optimal plays.

Salamangreat Gazelle was limited to 1 copy per deck in the July ban list. On summon, it sends a Salamangreat from the deck to the grave which helps combos down the line. It can even summon itself from the hand for free if another Salamangreat monster goes to the grave.

Salamangreat Spinny can revive itself from the grave, but banishes itself next time it leaves the field. Interestingly, you can bypass this downside by using Spinny in an Xyz summon; at that point, it’s treated as “Xyz material” and will go to the grave and not banish itself.

Salamangreat Foxy has a Pot of Duality-like effect when Normal summoned basically making it a +1 in card advantage; it reveals the top 3 cards of your deck, you can add one revealed Salamangreat card to the hand, and the rest of the cards are shuffled back into the deck. By discarding a Salamangreat card, it can revive itself from the grave and also pop a spell/trap on the field.

Salamangreat Jack Jaguar can revive itself by shuffling another Salamangreat monster from the grave back into the deck. Worth knowing that this effect does work on Extra deck monsters and will return them to the Extra deck.

Salamangreat Fowl is pretty much just a combo extender, special summoning itself from the hand if another Salamangreat is summoned to the field. Being able to “freeze” a face down spell/trap is interesting but it’s a -1 in card advantage and pretty situational.

Salamangreat Falco recycles a Salamangreat spell/trap when it hits the grave. It can also revive itself by bouncing another Salamangreat monster back to the hand. Both effects are decent but situational, so I’m just running 1 copy.

Lady Debug was limited to 1 a while back as a way to nerf Salamangreat. On summon, it searches a level 3 or lower Cyberse monster from the deck and adds it to hand. It goes well with Salamangreats since just about all the monsters are Cyberse-type.

Flame Bufferlo fits in a Salamangreat deck like a glove being FIRE attribute, Cyberse, and level 3. Discarding another Cyberse from the hand when Bufferlo leaves the field allows you to draw 2.

Backup Secretary and Crusadia Reclusia are fairly interchangeable and mostly comes down to preference. They are level 3, can special summon themselves from the hand, and synergizes with Salamangreat to some extent (but not perfectly).

Secretary is a Cyberse-type like Salamangreats, but LIGHT attribute. Reclusia is FIRE attribute like Salamangreats, but a Spellcaster-type. Secretary is slightly less restricted by its special summoning condition, but summoning itself is all it does. Reclusia requires a Link monster with an arrow pointing at an empty monster zone to summon itself, but it works around Gozen Match, and can destroy a card on the field by sacrificing itself on summon.

Artifact Lancea is a hand trap that prevents cards from getting banished for the rest of the turn. It’s become the most popular hand traps in recent formats because it gets in the way of most competitively relevant decks. It can also be used defensively by protecting your own Salamangreat cards from getting banished.

Effect Veiler is basically the poor man’s Infinite Impermanence. Most good decks these days rely on monsters’ effects to resolve in order to get their strategy going, and Veiler can stop a lot of em.

Will of The Salamangreat is a free special summon, from either the hand or grave, once per turn. It can also pop itself to summon multiple Salamangreats, also from either the hand or grave, up to the number of a Salamangreat Link monster’s Link Rating. However, the Link monster has to be summoned using Salamangreat Sanctuary’s effect. 2 copies because it can’t be searched, but having multiple in hand is worthless since its effect is a hard once-per-turn.

Salamangreat Sanctuary is the deck’s Field spell that lets Salamangreat Link monsters summon themselves by using a Salamangreat Link monster of the same name as the entire Link material. Trust me, it's a lot simpler than how it sounds. Anyway, controlling Link monsters that were summoned this way gives you access to bonus effects in cards like Salamangreat Roar and Salamangreat Rage. Only 1 copy since Balelynx adds it to hand on summon and there’s Sunlight Wolf or Falco that can easily recycle it.

Salamangreat Circle is this deck’s version of Reinforcement of the Army; searches the deck to add a Salamangreat monster to the hand. In the July ban list, it was limited to 1 copy per deck. It’s worth noting that it’s a Quick-effect spell since it has a bonus effect that protects Salamangreat Link monsters from other monster effects if it was summoned using Sanctuary’s effect.

Fusion of Fire is the archetype’s Polymerization. Apart from being limited to only summoning Salamangreat Fusion monsters using materials from your hand and field, you can even use monsters from the opponent’s field. This is obviously very big in the mirror match, but it also helps against most decks in general since one of Violet Chimera’s fusion materials can be any Link monster.

Pot of Desires is nice since Salamangreats can afford to banish some of its cards and still be able to pull off its usual plays. Don’t resolve the second copy in the same duel unless you know it’s gonna end soon.

Twin Twisters because fuck Mystic Mine (and floodgates in general like Skill Drain, Soul Drain, and Royal Decree, to name a few).

Salamangreat Roar can negate most effects as long as you got a Salamangreat Link monster on the field. If the Link monster you control was summoned using Sanctuary’s effect, Roar can set itself back from the grave but is banished next time it leaves the field.

Salamangreat Rage’s first effect is situational at best, being a -1 in card advantage. But its second effect when controlling a Salamangreat Link monster that was summoned by Sanctuary’s effect is where it earns its worth, being able to destroy multiple cards on the field up to the Link monster’s Link Rating.

Solemn Strike is pretty good. Monster effects and Special summons are everywhere in modern Yugioh, so being able to stop them is nice.

Solemn Judgement is completely free from the ban list and it’s still a ridiculously strong option for decks that have space to run it. But its cost is pretty high in the early stages of a duel, and Spell/Trap negation isn’t as crucial as Monster effect negation these days.

Salamangreat Balelynx is a LINK-1 that searches Sanctuary on summon. In the grave, it can banish itself to protect Salamangreat cards from destruction one time.

Salamangreat Violet Chimera is a LINK-2 that’s key to the deck’s ability to reuse cards that are in the graveyard. If a monster is summoned to a zone it points to, it adds a FIRE monster from the grave back to the hand but cards with that monster’s name can’t be summoned for the rest of the turn. It also has a bonus effect when it summons itself using Sanctuary: during the controller’s Main Phase, Sunlight Wolf can add a Salamangreat spell/trap from the graveyard to the hand.

Salamangreat Heatleo is a LINK-3 that isn’t as vital to the strategy as Balelynx or Sunlight Wolf; it’s mostly used for its higher Link Rating and ability to shuffle an opponent’s spell/trap back to the deck on summon. It’s bonus Sanctuary effect is a cute, but mostly irrelevant ATK modification effect.

Hiita the Fire Charmer, Ablaze is a LINK-2 with good arrows and isn’t as restrictive with its Link materials as the Salamangreat Link monsters. On summon, it revives an opponent’s FIRE monster to your side of the field. When destroyed, it adds a FIRE monster from the deck to hand as long as it has 1500 or less DEF which is pretty much every FIRE monster in the main deck besides Salamangreat Falco.

Knightmare Phoenix is a generic LINK-2 used for its on summon effect of discarding a card from hand to pop an opponent’s Spell or Trap card. Also being FIRE attribute is convenient.

Borreload Dragon is one of the best LINK-4 monsters while being really cheap and accessible thanks to its reprints in the Duel Power set and new Rokket Structure deck. Being able to steal any of the opponent’s monsters by attacking into it is one of the best ways of dealing with problematic monsters that may be immune to card effects that target and/or destroy.

Salamangreat Miragestallio is a Rank 3 with an effect similar to M-X Saber Invoker where it can detach a Link material to Special summon a Salamangreat monster straight from the deck. Miragestallio can also bounce a monster from the field back to the hand if it was used as Link material to summon a Salamangreat Link monster.

Abyss Dweller is the all-time best Rank 4 Xyz being able to shut off the opponent’s graveyard effects for the turn.

Salamangreat Violet Chimera is the deck’s single Fusion of Fire target, needing Fusion materials of 1 Salamangreat monster and 1 Link monster. All its effects pretty much affect ATK values in order to deal the most damage possible, and ideally you would want to summon this when it’s time to make one big swing for game.

D.D. Crow is critical versus all sorts of strong decks, including the mirror match. A hand trap that can banish a card from the opponent’s graveyard.

Dinowrestler Pankratops is basically the modern day Cyber Dragon. It summons itself when you control fewer monsters, has a beefy 2600 ATK, and has a Quick effect that pops an opponent’s card by sacrificing itself.

Cosmic Cyclone is an answer to decks that center around powerful Spells and/or Traps that either have effects that activate in or can be easily interacted with from the grave.

Gozen Match locks both players to controlling 1 Attribute of monster at a time. What’s nice is that monsters that are already on the field and different from the player’s selected type are immediately sent to the graveyard.

Imperial Order can be an auto-win depending on the match up. As long as it’s on the field, it turns off every Spell card.

Finally, we got this Artifact engine. I already have Lancea in the main deck because it’s still really good on its own. The other two Artifact monsters, Scythe and Moralltach, have effects when summoned during the opponent’s turn: Prevents the opponent from Special summoning from the Extra deck for the rest of the turn, and destroys an opponent’s card, respectively.

Artifact Sanctum Special summons an Artifact monster directly from the deck. You can’t conduct a Battle phase on the turn Artifact Sanctum was activated, but it’s a Trap card so just use it on the opponent’s turn and there should be no problem lol. They’re essentially three extra copies of Lancea, but Scythe and Moralltach are available too in case they’re better suited for the situation instead. Sanctum can also pop a card on the field if it was destroyed by an opponent’s card effect; pretty good value since in most cases, you can chain Sanctum in response to its destruction so that you still summon an Artifact for its effect.

Expensive cards I’d use if I have them: Cynet Mining, Fantastical Dragon Phantazmay, and Infinite Impermanence.

Affordable-ish cards I’d use if I was dumb enough to buy more copies of them: Ash Blossom and Joyous Spring, Super Polymerization, and Evenly Matched.

(link to Dinosaur Shaddoll deck)

I have holographic copies of Pankratops, Lancea, Borreload Dragon, and Cosmic Cyclone, but they’re all currently in the Dinosaur deck lmao

Thess vs Let’s Play

You know what I wish there were more of? Detailed text-based walkthroughs of video game quests, particularly MMO-based quests.

I mean, it used to be pretty prevalent on the whole, the text walkthrough. There weren’t that many other options on the whole, or at least they weren’t widely used. Thing is, with the prevalence of Let’s Plays and livestreams, people don’t want to go to the trouble of describing what happens in a boss fight anymore. They slap a video onto YouTube and call it good.

...For me and people like me? It’s not good.

I don’t know if this is true for anyone else, but I find actually trying to watch a Let’s Play extremely problematic. I can cope with a moving camera when I’m the one moving it, to a point - mostly because I don’t actually move the camera that often while playing, which is just one more reason why pulling tab targeting out of a game is a total deal-breaker for me, but also because I’m prepared for the movement to come. Hell, even then I have to be careful about it, which is why I can’t play more than three rounds of Overwatch, four at best, without a break. The change in camera angle, particularly when it’s happening fast with particle effects everywhere, is a recipe for a raging headache, compounding to migraine if I’m not very careful about it. So you can just about imagine how I cope with it when it’s someone else moving the field of view.

Seriously, I was looking for some indication of what I was going to end up facing in my level 60 Astrologian quest (though I’ve got nearly full Shire gear so Sevestre can suck my metaphorical) and I could not for the life of me find any text describing what the boss battle would actually entail. Nope. Just videos. And I watched one because I was getting that tiny bit desperate and lo and behold, now I have a headache. And the worst part is, I still have no fucking idea what I’m in for. I don’t know what, precisely, the spawned cards do (though it’s pretty fucking clear what I’m supposed to do to them, at least). I have no idea what, if anything, I’m supposed to do about Sevestre’s stop-time mechanic. I’ll get through it, obviously. I’ve got through dumber with less run-up. Just ... why do people feel like a simple video with no text indicator of what is actually happening on screen is enough? There’s whole vistas of mechanics that are just there and you can about figure out what you’re supposed to do but there’s no indication of why, and what will happen if you fail, and if it’s something you can recover from.

Then again, even text-based walkthroughs can be less than helpful. Like, just as a for instance, we ran Amdapor Keep Hard Mode last night, in a bid to get me to AST 60 in the first place. (Seriously, we ran a 50-60 roulette and a second 50-60 so I could level AST and I was maybe 50k XP off leveling and I just couldn’t cope so we went a round with a dungeon I actually kinda like.) Owing to a slightly ... erm ... let’s be kind and say ‘clueless’ RDM, we found out a lot about what happens if you don’t manage to do things the way walkthroughs indicate you should. Like, I didn’t know what Crashdown did in that one DPS race fight until I was looking down the barrel of it - and, more to the point, healing us through it. I also didn’t know whether you could heal through Ferdiad’s AoE if you didn’t kill the adds fast enough while he was channeling it. Apparently you can if every member of the party a) has as much HP as the tank and b) is at full health with said HP. Also the walkthrough I’ve read says there’s no indicator for when the blue spinny scythes spawn on top of you, but there is - little puff of smoke, small text, but you see that on you? RUN. The RDM did not run. I did warn him.

Then again, he was not the only RDM with no apparent clue we dealt with last night, either. Keeper of the Lake was the second 50-60 we ran, mostly because we can generally do it in our sleep, but that only works if your DPS is actually on the ball. The RDM in particular was ... unfortunate. Crippled themselves by focusing on the big spells without using Dualcast to boost, but that only matters when DPS racing - like, for instance, that last fight against Midgardsormr and his minions. But then there was the whole deal where they kept not only standing in stupid but actually running to greet it, not knowing how the burnpuddle-dropping airship worked. Then kept attacking Midgardsormr despite it not doing a damn bit of good. We wiped at least twice because I in my healy glory was the only one who actually noticed the shield generator spawning and couldn’t kill the thing on my own while still keeping people alive, and there’s the RDM attacking the wrong thing anyway.

The SMN wasn’t much better. While they themselves were attacking the right thing, Garuda-Egi ... not so much.

Anyway, I guess all I mean to say is that there should be more clarity of language in these things. Not every PUG is going to have, say, a little lalafell healer giving the precis of the mechanics whenever “One of your party members has not yet completed this dungeon” flashes up on screen. Some people like to know whether to expect a wipe if a boss mechanic’s allowed to go off, and some of those people aren’t necessarily going to be able to tolerate Let’s Plays for health reasons.

Also ASTROLOGIAN LEVEL 60 FUCK YES. Just have to get through the Dragonsong War stuff and then it’s Stormblood, ho! ...Just in time for the new content patch, apparently. I need to read the patch notes again.

Kise scythe go spinny spinny

Kise very fast

Kise do zero damage

Kise sad