#Santana has freckles fight me
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Lost in the Lights Ch.15|Brittana
A/N - Thank you for being patient and still leaving behind your reviews! The struggle to write continues so I think next chapter will be the final one. Thanks for sticking it out with me 💙
Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut
The first thing Santana notices when she awakes is that it’s too damn bright. It’s kind of ridiculous how bright it is – like there’s no logical explanation for why anyone would be okay with waking up to that – but then she remembers something.
This isn’t her room.
She knows as much because Santana likes to keep her room as dark as possible during the early mornings and this is the complete opposite. But that’s not the only thing out of place. Everything feels different; the bed is softer, the blankets are warmer, and it’s like the pillow she rests her head on has been infused with her favorite scent: Brittany.
The smile forms without thinking and suddenly she doesn’t care all that much about the equivalent of a million flashlights being beamed at her eyelids – she might be exaggerating a little there – because this isn’t her room.
It’s Brittany’s.
Despite not being a morning person in the slightest, Santana’s always been the first to awake at sleepovers for some reason. Maybe it’s her body’s way of letting her know that she isn’t in her usual surroundings, but for once she just wants it to chill. She always hated having to wait until everyone else woke up, but she finds that she feels a little differently this time around.
While it seems like the rest of Lima still sleeps, Santana takes the quiet moment to admire her girlfriend. Because before, when she’s out there in the world it sometimes feels like she has to be guarded about it – her glances are usually stolen, her smiles are small and secretive.
But she doesn’t have to hide here.
Brittany’s blonde hair is all over the place while one arm drapes lazily over Santana’s hip and the other is crooked above her head. She’s sound asleep with these soft little snores escaping slightly parted lips and it makes Santana smile. Brittany swears she doesn’t snore even though Santana has heard it on multiple occasions over the phone, but it hits differently now that she’s actually here and can see it for herself.
If anything, it just makes Santana want to kiss her even more.
She doesn’t though; it feels like it’s still way too early for anyone to be awake so Santana let’s her sleep while she continues to admire. She has rarely been able to be this close to Brittany without feeling overwhelmed by everything so it’s nice to be able to do this now.
Watching someone sleep has always sounded so weird to her and she’d judge anyone hardcore for doing it and yet here she is doing the exact same thing, only now she gets it. To be so close that she could count every little freckle dotting Brittany’s cheeks, it’s almost like being caught in a dream.
Santana runs the back of her finger along Brittany’s cheek and it’s like the touch solidifies that this is real, that it’s actually happening. A year ago, even six months ago, Santana would not have imagined this kind of reality for herself. She figured after everything that went down with Dani and all the drama with Bree and JBI, she wouldn’t find happiness until she had put Lima far, far behind her.
How wrong was she?
Santana glances to Brittany and she has to stifle a chuckle because this girl; this beautiful, talented, amazing girl literally just appeared one day and her whole life changed. Really, everyone’s did. To have a female quarterback leading the Titans and actually doing it well was something no one saw coming and it amazes Santana. Of all the people Brittany could’ve set her eyes on, she chose her.
And the same goes for Santana.
In all her daydreaming, Santana hears Brittany let out a sleepy sigh before she’s tightening her arm around Santana’s hip. The blonde snuggles in close, her head sliding off the pillow and instead nestling against Santana’s chest. The brunette smirks at that – if it weren’t for the little snores returning, she would’ve thought Brittany had woken up.
Instead, the brunette gets cozy too. Maybe if she closes her eyes, her mind will stop and sleep will find her easily once again?
\\
The next time Santana awakes, it’s to Brittany pressing gentle kisses all over her face. As she begins to stir, the kisses get quicker and sloppier until Santana’s giggling for Brittany to quit it. When the kisses finally pause, Santana cracks an eye open to find Brittany hovering over her with this goofy grin on her face.
“You really want me to stop?” Brittany asks devilishly.
Santana’s only answer is to wrap her arms around Brittany’s shoulders and pull her down for a real kiss. She can feel Brittany’s smile as their mouths move and she can’t think of a better way to wake up – if only they could do this every morning.
“Good mornin’,” Brittany mumbles against Santana’s soft lips.
“Mhmm,” Santana replies happily.
Once they pull away, Brittany moves to keep herself hovering over Santana. It’s a risky move because Brittany’s strong arms tense in the most distracting way, not to mention how Brittany’s baggy sleep shirt hangs loose around her torso – meaning Santana can see that she definitely isn’t wearing a bra.
“It’s a very good morning,” Santana flirts.
“Hey,” Brittany teases when she catches on then rests back on her heels.
Santana pouts at the lose of a great view and it makes Brittany giggle.
“Careful,” Brittany jokes as she taps on Santana’s bottom lip, “Might get stuck like that.”
Santana rolls her eyes playfully at the jab before smiling, “Did you sleep well?”
Brittany nods, “I should sleep in more often. I don’t usually miss a morning run.”
“God, you do that on the weekends too?” Santana scrunches her nose cutely, “Gross.”
Brittany chuckles, “It’s always Leg Day, baby!”
Santana knows it was meant to be a joke judging by Brittany’s sing-song tone but hearing Brittany say baby reminds her of last night and she can’t fight a smitten little smile from forming. If Quinn could see her now, a constant smiling fool, the teasing would be endless.
Santana doesn’t care though, she might even put up with it if that means she gets to keep Brittany.
“You’re crazy,” Santana ends up saying to cover up the obvious adoration. She doubts it works judging by the soft expression on Brittany’s face too.
“Hungry?” Brittany asks a second later, “My mom’s making breakfast.”
Santana feels reality starting to set in and their little bubble beginning to burst. She knows they can’t hideaway like this in Brittany’s room forever, but it would kind of be nice to.
Nevertheless, she sits a little straighter and nods, “Yeah, starving.”
\\
The couple venture downstairs awhile later after brushing their teeth and changing into warmer clothes. All that means is Brittany opted for fuzzy rainbow socks while tossing Santana one of her hoodies that was always a little too big for her. Santana has to roll the sleeves twice for it to sit comfortably while Brittany teases her for being so tiny.
“Mornin’ girls!” Whitney greets when the pair make their way into the kitchen.
Whitney’s definitely been busy as the entire island counter is covered in various plates stacked with different flavors of pancakes and bowls filled with blueberries, strawberries and chocolate chips. Other toppings surround a long wooden cutting board and Brittany’s already poking around for a snack.
“Good morning, Mrs. Pierce,” Santana greets politely while Brittany steals a strawberry from a small bowl.
“I see the couch was empty this morning,” Whitney comments cryptically in Brittany’s direction.
When Santana glances to Brittany, she can see the blonde’s face go red and blue eyes dart away from Whitney’s.
“I – well,” Brittany stammers, “It gets cold down here at night...”
Santana’s eyes go wide. Was she not meant to stay in Brittany’s room last night?
“Uh-huh,” Whitney gives her a knowing look.
Brittany smiles apologetically, “Sorry?”
Whitney only shakes her head and nods to the counter, “You two hungry?”
“Yeah, but I only said Santana was sleeping over, not the entire school,” Brittany jokes as she pops the berry into her mouth.
“I know,” Whitney laughs before flipping another pancake, “I might’ve gotten carried away. I saw this thing on the internet called a pancake board. It’s like one of those fancy cheese platters but pancakes. I figured I’d give it a try. How’s it look?”
“Amazing,” Santana compliments, “Way cooler than any breakfast I’ve ever had.”
“You’re too sweet,” Whitney smiles and swats at Brittany’s hand going for another berry, “Leave some for the rest of us.”
Brittany backs off with a chuckle and Santana finds herself grinning too. This family dynamic is so different than what she’s used to and it kind of catches her off guard to be in such a laid back environment. Growing up, breakfast at the Lopez residence was far and few between with her parents’ work schedules. If they were miraculously together, they’d usually just go out to somewhere fancy with a dress code.
She starts to feel a little fidgety and asks, “Did you need any help?”
“I should be finishing up in here soon,” Whitney answers, “Maybe you both can clear a space in the living room and check on Pete while you’re out there. I haven’t heard him in awhile, make sure he isn’t up to anything.”
“You got it, mom!”
Santana nods too and follows after Brittany to the living room, confused as to why they won’t be eating at an actual table.
“You didn’t tell me I was meant to sleep on the couch last night,” Santana mentions softly.
Brittany just shrugs, “I was meant to but no way I was gonna stay down here by myself.”
“Chicken,” Santana teases.
“Says you,” Brittany smirks before calling out for Pete when she finds the couch empty but the cartoons still playing on tv.
Santana looks around the room too; no sign of Brittany’s little brother anywhere.
Brittany lets out a playful sigh and nudges Santana to play along, “Bummer, he’s not here. Guess Santana and I will just have to eat all the pancakes by ourselves!”
“Wait!” Pete shrieks before he pops out from under a stack of throw pillows. The expression on his little face goes from shock to excitement when he sees that Santana’s standing alongside Brittany, “Santana’s here?!”
Santana’s never seen someone so excited to see her – apart from Brittany – and Pete’s rushing towards her with a giant grin on his face. He throws his arms around her as soon as she’s in reach and Santana doesn’t know what to do but stiffen and look to Brittany for an explanation.
Brittany only laughs, “I might’ve told him you were coming over later today for lunch.”
“You’re here so early!” Pete beamed as he looked up at her, “You going to have breakfast and lunch with us too?”
Santana bites her lip at his excitement and the adoring look Brittany’s giving her.
She’s never been too fond of being around kids, she’s never known how to act – she still doesn’t, but Pete’s different. He’s actually cool and Santana finds it starting to get easier to interact with him the more time she spends around the Pierces.
“Looks like it, P,” Santana ends up replying coolly with a ruffle to his hair before sinking down to whisper to him, “Also heard that you might be the Monopoly King around here.”
“I am,” He responds proudly before puffing out his chest, “You wanna challenge me?”
Santana smirks, “Maybe after breakfast.”
When Pete’s smile widens, it looks like Santana’s just made his entire day. When she glances over at Brittany, it looks like she has just made her entire day too.
\\\\\
It’s a total back to reality moment for Brittany as she pulls into the McKinley High student parking lot on Monday morning. After the blissful weekend she had, she never felt so bummed about it having to end for the sake of going back to school.
Spending all that time with Santana was just…perfect. She fit in so well with her little family – even Pete was begging for Santana to stay a little while longer after winning a second round of Monopoly. But all good things must come to an end, at least for a little bit.
It’s the beginning of a big week for her though so she at least has that to curb her slight grumpiness. The Championship game is this Friday which feels like the culmination of her entire high school football career. She hasn’t been putting too much thought into it – too wrapped up in her new relationship with Santana and the rivalry between the Titans and the hockey team – but now that it’s all starting to come to an end…she feels a little sad.
Playing football has always been something that has made her feel closer to her dad. It’s something that he exposed her to when she was young and it blossomed from there and it should make her feel proud because she has come so far thanks to him, but it makes her feel like a chapter is closing.
A chapter she started with her dad and ended…without him.
She quickly pushes those thoughts away, not wanting to get caught crying in her car by Santana – or even worse by someone random. No, she has to seek out the positives because that’s exactly what he would’ve wanted her to do. He would’ve told her not worry about him, this is all about her and she should feel proud of her accomplishments.
It’s easier said than done lately, but she just focuses on her dad’s wise words of wisdom and prepares herself for a busy, busy week ahead.
\\
For the most part, it’s smooth sailing for Brittany.
On Monday there was a quiz in her History class, but she was actually prepared for it so it didn’t stress her out too much and she was confident that she did great. On Tuesday, her Astronomy class got back their graded assignments and Brittany surprised herself with a perfect score – the only one in the entire class.
Santana was so proud of her for that one that they skipped their study session at Elliott’s to instead make out in the back of Santana’s car. Brittany remembers how they giggled like mad afterwards because Santana had to turn on the screen defroster, it was that foggy inside.
This week, Brittany felt like she was on a roll and that reflected during football practice as well. The quarterback nailed every throw – even the trickier ones where the defense applied extra pressure. Although it was only practice, her passer rating must’ve been through the roof because she was doing so well with her completions.
But it wasn’t just her, the entire team was doing exceedingly well too. After the stunt they pulled last week in the cafeteria, the Titans seemed to be more united and that showed in the way they practiced. Sam and Mike hadn’t dropped one pass yet and you couldn’t strip the ball away from Puck if you were the strongest person on Earth.
Anyone with eyes could see that the Titans wanted this Championship win, that practiced that hard. Brittany’s teammates were putting in extra work in the weight room and staying later after practice ended just to get in a few more catches.
Everyone was determined as ever and that pissed the hockey guys off even more so. But like always, Brittany opted for the higher road. She wasn’t going to stoop down to their level – no Titan was going to – and she just hoped that they’d eventually take the hint that they weren’t going to be intimidating anyone any time soon.
\\
By Wednesday, the anxiousness over the big game starts to settle in. The school is all a buzz about the possibility of Brittany and the Titans ending this Championship drought. Any other day, that buzz would leave Brittany feeling giddy but the pressure of winning and the sadness she feels about this chapter coming to an end is louder.
She knows it’s not exactly where her head needs to be right now, but she can’t help it. This storm cloud has been brewing for awhile and she has done her best to keep it at bay but it was only a matter of time before she stopped being able to outrun it.
Miraculously though, she isn’t the only one that has noticed the shift in her mood.
\\
Brittany’s sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by all of her friends and teammates while she slowly picks at her lunch. Usually by this hour, she’s starving but not today. It’s not that she has lost her appetite because she loves chicken patties but she’s just not feeling it. She can tell Kurt and Mercedes are talking excitedly about something and Brittany wishes she could focus enough to be apart of the conversation but all she hears is noise.
It’s almost like she’s caught in a daze and everything’s moving around her like usual but she’s stuck in slow motion. It’s a weird feeling, one she hasn’t experienced in a long time – maybe since she moved to Lima.
No one notices either, not until someone fills the seat next to her.
“Hey B! I got you something,” Santana says cheerfully.
Brittany goes to glance in her direction but her smile isn’t quite as bright as it usually is and that’s enough for Santana.
“Are you okay?” She asks as she slides the gifted pressed juice onto the table.
“Is that for me?” Brittany asks instead and nods to the juice, similar to the one Santana brought her at the beginning of the year.
Santana looks between the drink and Brittany, “Yeah. Figured you might need the energy boost. I remember you saying this morning that you had some trouble sleeping last night so I stopped by the Cheerios lounge before coming here.”
Brittany smiles adoringly at her. It still surprises her how caring Santana can be. It’s enough to distract Brittany from her troubles for the time being. How could anyone think about anything else when her girlfriend is the most thoughtful person in the world?
“You’re too sweet,” Brittany compliments as she squeezes Santana’s knee beneath the table, “Thank you.”
Santana just shrugs her shoulder bashfully, but their little interaction is enough to gain the rest of the table’s interest – specifically Kurt and Mercedes.
“I had my suspicions but I couldn’t be sure,” Kurt comments behind a playful smirk, “Not until now.”
Santana quirks her brow and Brittany frowns in confusion.
“Really?” Mercedes looks at him with this unamused look on her face, “I clocked it the day she came to sit with us. Cheerios don’t ever break rank.”
Brittany starts to catch on and glances to Santana again to see her reaction because so far the only people at school who know about them are: Quinn, Mike and Sam. And apparently Kurt and Mercedes have a bit of a reputation for being the school gossips so if they get a hold of this it would be public knowledge now.
Brittany’s heart beats a little quicker as she continues to watch Santana.
“Don’t assume,” Tina scolds the both of them before smiling at Santana and Brittany, “Although you two would make a really cute couple.”
Brittany blushes while both of Santana’s brows rise. Brittany has no idea what to say to and she can’t tell if Santana’s about to beat Tina with her lunch tray or laugh. She’s hoping it’s neither; she’s hoping that Santana would want to tell the truth. Santana has been doing so well so far, why wouldn’t she?
It’s a long pause afterwards where everyone just waits for an answer from either Brittany or Santana. Brittany’s waiting on her girlfriend to take the lead but she wonders if Santana’s doing the same too.
“So are you?” Kurt asks; cutting through the silence and right to the chase.
“Well,” Brittany starts uneasily, “We – “
“Yes,” Santana answers without wavering, “We’re together.”
Brittany’s jaw just about drops and so does everyone else’s.
“This is outstanding!” He cheers, “I’m – “
“Hold up,” Santana raises her finger, “No matter how excited you are or whatever, this is not your business to tell. It’s ours – as in me and Britt – not you. Don’t go throwing us a rainbow themed party or build us a Pride Parade float to have us chauffeured around on. That’s not how we’re doing this.”
Kurt’s lips part but Santana cuts him off again then eyes everyone at the table down – excluding Brittany of course.
“Every single person that knows so far knows because we told them and because they know how to keep their trap shut about things that aren’t theirs to share so if this were to get out before we decide, I know exactly who I’ll be going after,” Santana warns before straightening up, “Believe me, you don’t want that. These Puck Heads and their lame ass slushies have nothing on what I’d do.”
Kurt, Mercedes and Tina all gulp. Santana just smirks.
Brittany looks back and forth between everyone uneasily – halfway turned on by how assertive Santana was just then and also a little guilty about threatening her friends. Then again, when it comes to this she guess a little tough love might be in order.
“Stay in your lane and we won’t have problems,” Santana adds in a friendlier tone, “Understand?”
Brittany’s friends just nod in unison.
“Great talk,” Santana grins before turning her attention back to Brittany with this sickeningly sweet smile on her face, “So B, how’s your day been so far? ”
Brittany’s a little speechless at first but then she lets out a chuckle before answering Santana’s question.
\\
The rest of lunch goes on smoothly. Santana and Brittany talk about their day so far and what assignments still need completing. They make plans to go to Elliott’s again this weekend to study together – like actually study this time and not…do other things.
That’s when Puck goes to stand on his chair to apparently make an announcement.
“Puckerman, get down!” Mr. Phillips scolds.
“Just a sec, Mr. P, I’ve got to say something,” Puck tells him.
“Do you need to stand up there while you say it?”
“How else will everyone hear me?” Puck shrugs.
Mr. Philips narrows his eyes.
“I’ll be super quick,” Puck assures him.
“Fine,” Mr. Philips rolls his eyes and wanders away.
Brittany and Santana pull away from their own conversation long enough to see what’s got him so worked up. They aren’t the only ones listening in though, Rick and the hockey guys linger nearby too.
“Listen up! So everyone knows the Titans are going to kick Carmel’s ass this Friday, right?” Puck asks and everyone within listening distance cheers loudly.
Mr. Philips turns and gives Puck a glare.
Puck just smiles apologetically before continuing, “It’s history in the making, our parents didn’t even experience this shit, so I think that deserves celebrating. The Titans deserve celebrating! This has been a great year for us – mostly thanks to Pierce over there.” Puck points over to Brittany and everyone cheers again for her.
Brittany gets a little bashful around the applause but even more so when she finds Santana smiling at her so proudly. If she knew any better, she’d think Santana was about to kiss her.
“Without her, I don’t know where we’d be. No offense, Hudson.”
Finn just shrugs, seemingly unaffected by the jab.
“So in saying that, I only know how to celebrate one way,” Puck smirks, “Victory party at my place after the game! Everyone’s invited except those losers.” Puck nods over to Rick and starts to laugh when he sees the hockey guys getting pissed.
The Titans all pound the table as Puck gives an approving nod to their response before making his way off the chair. Brittany laughs at the display while Mr. Philips rushes over to quiet the team down.
“Puck and his parties,” Santana comments with an eye roll, “Looks like you guys better win.”
Brittany sighs playfully, “No pressure, right?”
“What? I thought you work well under that?”
“You’d know, wouldn’t you?” Brittany smirks and Santana gasps at the suggestion.
Brittany just laughs as she watches Santana’s cheeks grow a little darker.
\\
By the end of lunch, Santana and Brittany have to go their separate ways instead of walk together to their next class. It’s something about Santana needing to stop by Ms. Pillsbury’s office before so they part ways at the cafeteria exit.
It’s no big deal. Brittany uses the time instead to head to her locker and drop off all the books she won’t be needing for homework later. Maybe if she doesn’t have to carry as many, she can help Santana carry hers?
The thought makes Brittany smile before she’s closing her locker and heading to class.
Like any other day, she takes her usual route to Ms. Holliday’s classroom. She walks past her History class from this morning and spots Sam getting settled at his desk. They wave at each other before Brittany continues on. She passes a corridor and another block of lockers before turning down the hall, only this time someone waits for her there.
Well not someone…as in singular.
“Sup Pierce,” Rick nods while his usual two guys flank him.
Brittany feels the atmosphere shift so she stands a little taller.
“Hey,” Brittany nods. She notices they each have a hand behind their backs and she can already guess what’s coming.
It all happens in an instant. One moment she’s minding her own business heading to class and the next she’s drenched from head to toe in red slushie.
“What the hell?!” Brittany snaps as she wicks slush from her face.
“Equal treatment, right?” Rick sneers as he and his guys toss their emptied extra large slushie cups at Brittany’s feet where red slushie is already starting to drip off of her.
Brittany’s too cold and shell-shocked to even say anything more, but what leaves her speechless is seeing Karofsky and Azimio watching the whole thing from behind them. Brittany waits for them to jump in, to give her some type of back up here…but they don’t.
They don’t say a word. They just turn and leave.
“Let this be a lesson to you, Pierce. Some things you just can’t change around here,” Rick says, “Football’s reign was over the moment they enlisted you as their quarterback.”
“Yay, girl power!” One of his guys jokes before they leave Brittany standing there.
She can’t tell if her brain is completely frozen by the slushie or if she’s just too angry to move. All she does is stare down at her feet, watching the slushie pool around her once white Converse.
She thinks about Azimio and Karofsky and how they turned their backs on her and she’s never felt so hurt before. Which is saying something because she was literally tackled to the ground because of them, but this is different. They aren’t on the field and to see them walk away like that just shows how horrible they actually are.
“Oh my God,” Someone says and it breaks Brittany from her whirling thoughts.
When Brittany looks up, she finds Quinn searching her with worried eyes.
“Are you – ” Quinn starts but she sees something written all over Brittany’s face and stops. Instead she puts on an apologetic smile, “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up before it stains.”
Brittany thinks she nods but she isn’t sure. She doesn’t start to move until Quinn’s hands are on her shoulders, coaxing her along.
\\
The bathroom is just on the other side of the block of lockers Brittany and Quinn were standing next to and Quinn quickly gets to work wetting a paper towel. She hands it to Brittany so that she can wipe her face.
Now that she’s starting to regain some feeling, Brittany begins to get angry. She’s kept her cool for so long, let everything roll off of her but this? A line was crossed so she doubts she can be as forgiving.
“I can’t believe this,” Brittany says as she slams down a wad of soaked paper towel into the sink.
Quinn looks somewhat surprised by the outburst but nods anyway, “At least it’s not the blue one. That’s the hardest to get out.”
Brittany shakes her head as Quinn passes her more paper towels, “I can’t believe people are still like this. I can’t believe Azimio and Karofsky just stood there. I’ve never met so many guys who just refuse to accept a little change. I’m not even doing anything radical here! What’s the fucking problem?”
Quinn drops her hands to rest on the sink as she listens. Brittany’s fuming but what surprises her most are the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She blinks furiously to keep them at bay because she has sworn to never shed a tear over this crap and she doesn’t want her first bonding moment with Quinn to involve her tears.
So she takes a steadying breath, “It would be one thing if the Titans weren’t winning, but they are. We’ve broken records together and I’m leading them to a Championship after how many years? Why isn’t that the focus for these people? Why does it matter that I just so happen to be a girl? Why is that an issue in the first place?”
Quinn lets out a sigh and shrugs, “The hockey guys are idiots. I don’t think they even know which narrative they want to pick. Is it because you’re a girl? Is it because you’re a Titan? Is it because you’re winning?”
Brittany lets out a frustrated sigh.
“They’re going to be Lima Losers for the rest of their lives while you’re out doing bigger and better things. You aren’t meant for this place, Brittany, they are and that’s why they’ll never leave. They’ll never evolve. Why do you think anyone with common sense wants to run as far as they can from this place? No one wants to be a Lima Loser and those that don’t care about becoming one – like the Puck Heads – aren’t people you should lose any sleep over.”
Brittany nods. She remembers a conversation a long time ago about Quinn wanting to go to Yale because it was so far from Lima. She always wondered why anyone would want to leave their family like that, but maybe their families are made up of people who refuse to evolve like Quinn said. She thinks about Santana and her dad and how Santana’s one of those people who want to run too.
Brittany didn’t really get it before, but she does now.
“I’ve never experienced anything like this,” Brittany mentions while Quinn continues to fuss over her. It makes her chuckle despite everything and she wonders if she’s like this with Santana too.
Then she remembers something.
“She would’ve been with me,” Brittany mumbles out the realization. Quinn gives her a confused look, “Santana. We usually walk together to our last class but she went to see Ms. Pillsbury this time. She would’ve been with me. They would’ve gotten her too.”
Quinn shakes her head and lets out a dry chuckle, “It did not go over well when they slushied her the first time. I doubt it would go over well if she were there this time.”
Brittany frowns, “She’s been slushied before?”
“Yeah. Last year,” Quinn’s expression grows somber, “Shortly after everything came out.”
Brittany feels like she’s been gut-punched as she starts imagine what that must’ve been like for Santana. She can just hear the comments Rick would’ve cooked up and how small they would’ve made her feel. It infuriates her even more and plans of retaliation start to piece together.
“You want me to text her to bring you a change of clothes?” Quinn asks upon Brittany’s silence,
Brittany looks to Quinn through the mirror and shrugs, “It’s fine. I’ll be okay for one class.”
Quinn raises her brow and it’s funny how similar the expression is. She wonders if she got it from Santana or maybe it was the brunette that rubbed off on her.
“You can’t walk around like that,” Quinn says, “Your clothes are soaked through and your letterman jacket is already stained.”
Brittany looks to her sleeves and frowns, “Crap. I can’t afford to buy another one.”
“Don’t worry, I can sort that for you,” Quinn adds casually, “I know a guy, owns the best dry cleaners in Lima. Technically it’s the only dry cleaners but he’s great. You can get it back in time for the Pep Rally on Friday.”
“Oh,” Brittany replies. She’s not really used to this kind of interaction with Quinn. Not because they don’t get along or anything, but because they’ve never really had the opportunity. It’s kind of nice, Brittany thinks. She’s glad Santana’s had a friend like her all these years.
“Look, it’s not a big deal,” Quinn says with a smile, “I think I have a pair of warm-ups in my locker and I’m sure Santana’s bound to have something in hers too. You can at least be more comfortable for your last class.”
Brittany finally nods, “Yeah okay. You can text her.”
Quinn only smiles in return before she’s reaching for her phone.
\\
Santana practically comes running into the bathroom with a stack of clothes under her arm. Her expression goes from hurried to concerned when she finds Brittany leaning against the counter with her clothes stained red.
“Shit,” Santana gasps and throws the clothes at Quinn. As soon as she’s close enough, her hand goes up to cup Brittany’s cheek, “You okay?”
Brittany leans into the touch and smiles, “Yeah. I’m fine. Just frustrated, I guess. I’m glad Quinn was there though. I might’ve done something stupid if she wasn’t.”
Santana nods and whirls around to Quinn, “Who did this?”
Brittany goes to cut in but Quinn’s already answering.
“Who do you think?” Quinn replies, “Karofsky and Azimio were there too. Not with them, but they didn’t exactly do anything about it either.”
“Son of a bitch,” Santana snaps as she starts to pace, “That motherfuckering fuck! I’m going to load up on slushies, see how he fucking likes it. Or maybe I’ll use something worse like…like dry ice.”
“Where are you going to get that from?” Quinn asks while Brittany looks on worriedly.
“I don’t know, Q. I’ll figure it out!” Santana brushes off, “I swear, I will go all Lima Heights and they’ll regret the day that they decided, that they even thought about doing this to – “
When Santana turns to Brittany, she pauses upon seeing the blonde’s expression.
“Please don’t,” Brittany says.
“But –“
“No more fighting for you,” Brittany tells her sternly. She pushes off the counter and goes to run her hands down Santana’s arms calmingly, “I don’t want you to get into any trouble over this, over me.”
Santana’s jaw tenses. She looks conflicted, “You can’t let them get away with this, Brittany.”
“I won’t. I told my guys no more slushies or fighting, I can’t go back on my word now just because I’m angry. I’m not going to feed into this bullshit.”
Santana shakes her head, “No. Now is not the time to be diplomatic.”
“It’s also not the time to get even.”
“She’s got a point,” Quinn mentions from behind them. Santana glares at her while Brittany gives her an appreciative nod.
“Listen,” Brittany says softly to Santana, “I know you’re angry, baby, I’m angry too. I’m really, really angry but I was always taught that you can’t act on anger. Violence doesn’t solve anything, we have to go about this differently if we want there to be actual change.”
Santana relaxes just a little more, “I’m more of a punch the crap out of them now and ask question later type of girl.”
“I know you are,” Brittany smirks, “I’ve got something in mind for Azimio and Karofsky. Just let me take care of this.”
“Fine,” Santana lets out a deep sigh, “But if I come across any of them off of school property it’s fair game.”
“I,” Brittany starts before she relents with a smile, “Okay.”
“Maybe you should get changed, Britt,” Quinn steps forward to offer the clothes.
Brittany nods and takes the stack, “I’ll be just a sec.”
Santana nods too before leaning in to kiss her cheek.
\\
When she comes out, Brittany’s wearing Quinn’s pants and Santana’s Cheerios jacket. She glances at herself in the mirror and chuckles.
“Feels weird not wearing a shirt under this,” Brittany comments.
“You didn’t have an extra shirt?” Quinn asks Santana.
Santana shrugs, “I just cleaned out my locker yesterday.”
Brittany looks to the Co-Captains and replies, “It’s okay. I only have to sit through one class anyway. Speaking of which, we’re all super late.”
“Ms. Holliday will understand,” Santana says before looking to Quinn, “You on the other hand are screwed.”
Quinn rolls her eyes and Brittany instantly feels guilty.
“Crap. You wouldn’t have been late if you didn’t help me,” Brittany says.
“Don’t worry about it,” Quinn brushes her off, “I’ll just get Ms. Pillsbury to write me a note. I’ll see you guys later.”
Surprisingly, Quinn gives the both of them a hug before she’s on her way.
Santana raises her brows at it but she doesn’t comment. Instead, she looks to Brittany and smirks.
“What?” Brittany asks as they head out of the bathroom too, “Do I still have slushie dye on my face?”
Santana chuckles cutely, “No. It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
Santana slides her arm through Brittany’s and gives it a squeeze as they walk in the direction of Ms. Holliday’s classroom, “I’ve seen plenty of girls walking around here wearing someone else’s letterman jacket, but I’ve never seen someone in another girl’s Cheerios jacket before.”
Brittany looks to Santana and chuckles, “Yeah? How’s it look?”
Santana just grins, “Hot.”
Despite the weight on her shoulders, Brittany can’t help but laugh.
\\
By football practice, every single Titan knows what the Puck Heads did and they are pissed. Brittany worries that they might have an all out brawl afterwards and that’s not what anyone needs right now. She does her best to keep the peace still even if she’d also like to punch Rick in his dumb face.
“I’ll talk to their Coach,” Coach Beiste says in hopes to calm the team down, “Their behavior is unacceptable and I’m sick of no one dealing with it. Don’t worry, Pierce, there will be repercussions to their actions.”
Brittany nods, “Thanks Coach.”
“I just can’t believe they went after Pierce like this,” Finn snaps.
“I bet they waited until she was alone,” Puck adds, “Just like the punks they are! They wouldn’t dare go after her if we were there.”
“We should’ve been with her,” Mike says to Sam.
“But our classes are on the opposite side of the school?” Sam frowns.
“So? Britt needs a security detail.”
“No I don’t,” Brittany cuts in, “I don’t need a security detail like I’m the President or something. And I wasn’t alone.”
“Wait, what?” Finn looks confused, “You mean Quinn?”
Brittany shakes her head, “No. I mean Azimio and Karofsky were there.”
“What?!” They both snap.
Coach Beiste looks at them expectantly, “Is this true?”
“I don’t know what she’s talking about,” Karofsky tries to lie, “I wasn’t – “
“Don’t,” Brittany stops him and turns back to the team, “Why would I lie about this? What would I gain by throwing half of my O Line under the bus? They were both there and neither of them did anything, but is anyone surprised?”
Mike glares at them, “Nope.”
“Not even a little,” Sam adds.
“I’m really disappointed in you two,” Coach Beiste says, “What the hell were you two thinking?”
“What did you want us to do?” Azimio tries to defend himself, “She’s got that stupid no slushie policy in place!”
“You could’ve asked if she was okay? You could’ve gone to get a teacher. You could’ve let me know so I could talk to their coach? Literally anything that would’ve made you look like a team player, that would’ve shown that you care about everyone on this team.”
Azimio and Karofsky look away guiltily.
“You have proven to me and everyone on this squad time and time again that you aren’t team players and I’m done. There is no room for that kind of behavior here,” Coach Beiste says with a kind of finality that makes everyone perk up.
“Wait,” Karofsky pleads.
“I’m done with the excuses and this was the last straw!” Coach snaps, “You’re both off the team.”
“But the Championship game is in two days!” Azimio implores.
“I know when it is!” Coach replies loudly, “And you know what? I’ve got a friend from Ohio State coming to watch too. Maybe he’ll pick some of you up, but not you two.” Coach turns her steely gaze on Azimio and Karofsky, “You two will be watching from the stands – if I even allow that.”
“But – “
“Go!” Coach tells them both firmly, “Clean out your lockers and leave.”
Neither of them say another word and sulk off of the field. Brittany just stares wide-eyed. She didn’t think Coach would go that route – actually she wasn’t sure of the route at all – but she’s glad this was taken so seriously. Those guys have been skating by for so long, she’s glad something’s finally being done about them.
“Anyone else not want to be a team player?” Coach asks.
No one makes a sound.
“Okay good,” Coach smiles, “Now about this recruiter from Ohio State. He’s a good friend of mine but he’s hard to impress. Very high standards so play well because Cooter just might be your ticket into OSU.”
Brittany’s heart rate spikes. She’s heard of the possibility of a recruiter attending this game since the beginning of the season, but now that she knows it’s actually happening she needs to be on her A game. She needs to push everything else aside for now and focus on football and winning this game because –
“Wait,” Finn says with his signature dopey, confused look, “His name is Cooter?”
Coach Beiste nods.
“Cooter…the Recruiter?” Finn adds and Puck’s already snickering.
“That’s unfortunate,” Kurt jokes flatly and the rest of the team starts to chuckle.
“Cut it out,” Coach warns, “We’re going to be training harder than ever for the next couple of days. I’m extending practice for two hours in preparation for the rest of the week. We’re not getting this far only to lose. That’s not an option for us.”
Brittany nods; she’s right about that.
#Lost in the Lights#Brittana#Brittana Fanfiction#QB!Britt#Remember when I could pump out a chapter once a week lol good times
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INFP Music Collaboration Project: Complete!
The INFP Collaboration Playlist Project is now complete!
In total we had about 200 songs submitted and that completely blew me away! Thank you all so much for participating, I had no idea that it would get this many responses!
Thank you especially to @rokokokokolores, @stillnotknowing, @anypassingthought, @2nerd4this, @sonsoftie, @aseratreasures, @infp-relatable, @lunagirl0013, @idunno-justpicksomething, and @namhamjoon (please let me know if I accidentally forgot to tag you)
These are just the participants who were okay with being named but also thank you to all of the anonymous participants!
Here’s the final playlist from everyone’s suggestions, including some of mine that I threw in even though some of you beat me to the punch for a few songs.
Here is the INFP Music Collaboration Project!
Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2F8xgXYEKiJSBOo7g8IvON
I was thinking of doing another one of these in the future but just make up my own prompts and put them all in one form and leave it open for a while or forever and just update the playlist twice a month or something like that. If you have ideas, just drop a comment or an ask if you want it to be anonymous.
For those who want to know what the playlist turned out to be, here’s the list of songs with their categories below this break:
PROMPT #01: A SONG YOU LIKE WITH A COLOR IN THE TITLE
Silver Dagger - Live at Cecil Sharp House - The Staves
Today I Sing the Blues - Aretha Franklin
Pink Moon - Nick Drake
White Flag - Joseph
Black Swan - BTS
Indigo - Origa
Everything Black - Unlike Pluto
Red Sun - DREAMCATCHER
Yellow Lights - Harry Hudson
Red Hill Mining Town - U2
PROMPT #02: A SONG YOU LIKE WITH A NUMBER IN THE TITLE
.stage 4 fear of trying. - Frank Iero
Symphony No.5 In B-Flat, Op.100: 2. Allegro marcato - Sergei Prokofiev
One More Time with Feeling - Regina Spektor
100 Bad Days - AJR
R.I.P. 2 My Youth - The Neighbourhood
+THNX190519+ - CL
100 Ways - Jackson Wang
Day 1 â—‘ - HONNE
18 - Anarbor
Two - Sleeping At Last
Three Tree Town - Ben Howard
PROMPT #03: A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF SUMMERTIME
Fumes - EDEN
Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Rey
T-Shirt Weather - Circa Waves
ME! (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco) - Taylor Swift
Dream - Priscilla Ahn
Carnival Hearts - Kayla Diamond
Yam Yam - No Vacation
Motivation - Normani
Wake Me Up - Avicii
PROMPT #04: A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE YOU'D RATHER FORGET
Alligator Alley - Michael Daugherty
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Sincerely, Me - Mike Faist
Cheerleader - OMI
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Over You - Ingrid Michaelson
PROMPT #05: A SONG THAT NEEDS TO BE PLAYED LOUD
Shine A Little Light - The Black Keys
Dynamite - BTS
Prelude in E-flat minor - Dmitri Shostakovich
Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
Salute - Little Mix
Smother - Daughter
Ship To Wreck - Florence + The Machine
I Am The Best - 2NE1
Baba O'Riley - The Who
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
King - Years & Years
I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) - Whitney Houston
I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross
PROMPT #06: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO DANCE
Rain - MIKA
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) - Fall Out Boy
Jump in the Line - Harry Belafonte
We Are the Tide - Blind Pilot
I'm A Believer - Radio Edit - Smash Mouth
PROMPT #07: A SONG TO DRIVE TO
So Much More Than This - Grace VanderWaal
Open Road - Lost & Found Music Studios
Vasoline - Stone Temple Pilots
Walk in the Night - Kaori Kobayashi*
Fáinleog - Live - The Gloaming
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
Kiss - Prince
Olalla - Blanco White
Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood
PROMPT #08: A SONG ABOUT DRUGS OR ALCOHOL
Whiskey and Morphine - Alexander Jean
Meds - Placebo
High - Sir Sly
June - Florence + The Machine
Here's to Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne
Void - The Neighbourhood
Clouds - BøRNS
PROMPT #09: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Love Wins - Carrie Underwood
Shukumei - Official HIGE DANdism
Boy With Luv (feat. Halsey) - BTS
The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script
Love Come Down - Kalafina
Here Comes The Sun - Remastered 2009 - The Beatles
You Are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne
Pokemon Theme Song - The Breaking Winds Bassoon Quartet
PROMPT #10: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU SAD
Someday - From "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"/Soundtrack Version - All-4-One
How We Love - Ingrid Michaelson
Everything You Ever - Neil Patrick Harris
Bluebird - Sara Bareilles
The Christmas Shoes - Newsong
Amen - Amber Run
Empty - Ray LaMontagne
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
The Beach - The Neighbourhood
PROMPT #11: A SONG YOU NEVER GET TIRED OF
Kimi Ga Hikari Ni Kaeteiku - Kalafina
Memories - Maroon 5
No Choir - Florence + The Machine
Should I Stay or Should I Go - Remastered - The Clash
Love On Top - Beyonce
Keep Your Head Up - Ben Howard
PROMPT #12: A SONG FROM YOUR PRETEEN YEARS
Fight Song - Rachel Platten
Samson - Regina Spektor
One More Sad Song - The All-American Rejects
No One - Alicia Keys
Poison Prince - Amy Macdonald
Love Story - Taylor Swift
7 Things - Single Version - Miley Cyrus
Rude - MAGIC!
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
PROMPT #13: A SONG YOU LIKE FROM 70s
Lean on Me - Bill Withers
Cat's in the Cradle - Harry Chapin
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Killing Me Softly - Frank Sinatra*
PROMPT #14: A SONG YOU'D LOVE TO BE PLAYED AT YOUR WEDDING
How Sweet It Is - Michael Buble
This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
I'm A Believer - Radio Edit - Smash Mouth
Hold You in My Arms - Ray LaMontagne
Never Stop (Wedding Version) - SafetySuit
PROMPT #15: A SONG YOU LIKE THAT'S A COVER BY ANOTHER ARTIST
Skinny Love - Birdy
That's the Way It Is - Cassidy Janson
Angel - Darren Hayes
Titanium - Madilyn Bailey
There Must Be An Angel - ORIGA*
Mr. Tambourine Man - The Helio Sequence
Rude - Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox
Bad Guy - The Interrupters
PROMPT #16: A SONG THAT'S A CLASSIC FAVORITE
Africa - TOTO
Beautifully - Jay Brannan
Creep - Radiohead
Cupid - Sam Cooke
Your Favorite Thing - Sugar
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
PROMPT #17: A SONG YOU'D SING A DUET WITH SOMEONE ON KARAOKE
For Good - From "Wicked" Original Broadway Cast Recording/2003 - Kristin Chenoweth
Take Me or Leave Me - Idina Menzel
Something To Believe In - Jeremy Jordan
Dancing with the Devil - Wolf Gang
Holding Out for a Hero - From "Footloose" Soundtrack - Bonnie Tyler
PROMPT #18: A SONG FROM THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) - Train
Waterfalls - TLC
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
Wannabe - Spice Girls
PROMPT #19: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT LIFE
Memories - Maroon 5
Men Of Snow - Ingrid Michaelson
The River - Kyla La Grange
Saturn - Sleeping At Last
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
The Fear - Ben Howard
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
The Good Part - AJR
Build It Up - Ingrid Michaelson
PROMPT #20: A SONG THAT HAS MANY MEANINGS TO YOU
Freckles - Natasha Bedingfield
Happy Home - Lukas Graham
Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik
The Road - Hurts
Lost in My Mind - The Head and the Heart
Love Like You (feat. Rebecca Sugar) - End Credits - Steven Universe
PROMPT #21: A SONG YOU LIKE WITH A PERSON'S NAME IN THE TITLE
Esmeralda - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Company
West Side Story: Act I: Maria - Leonard Bernstein
Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples) - Hozier
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Roxie - Renae Zellweger
Grace - Florence + The Machine
PROMPT #22: A SONG THAT MOVES YOU FORWARD
Sukiyaki - Kyu Sakamoto
Fuckin' Perfect - Melanie La Barrie
Who's Got a Match? - Biffy Clyro
Into The Fire - Thirteen Senses
Bang The Doldrums - Fall Out Boy
I Was Here - Beyonce
PROMPT #23: A SONG YOU THINK EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO
Neon Gravestones - Twenty One Pilots
Danzon No.2 - Arturo Márquez
Most Girls - Hailee Steinfeld
(Finally) A Convenient Truth - Get Well Soon
Stand by Me - Otis Redding
PROMPT #24: A SONG BY A BAND YOU WISH WERE STILL TOGETHER
Such Great Heights - Remastered - The Postal Service
To the Beginning - Kalafina
Here Comes a Regular - 2008 Remaster - The Replacements
Night Rather Than Day - EXID
Wonderwall - Remastered - Oasis
PROMPT #25: A SONG YOU LIKE BY AN ARTIST NO LONGER LIVING
Waiting for the End - Linkin Park
All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
Human Nature - Michael Jackson
The Longest Time - Billy Joel
Love, You Didn't Do Right by Me - Rosemary Clooney
Before Our Spring - JONGHYUN
PROMPT #26: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO FALL IN LOVE
girls - girl in red
Conversations in the Dark - John Legend
Just like Heaven - The Cure
On The Street Where You Live - Frederick Loewe
Still into You - Paramore
PROMPT #27: A SONG THAT BREAKS YOUR HEART
Five Variants of "Dives and Lazarus" - Ralph Vaughan Williams
Black Woman - Danielle Brooks
Eyes Nose Lips (feat. Taeyang) - Epik High
Empty - Ray LaMontagne
Just a Dream - Carrie Underwood
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
Requiem - Laura Dreyfuss
PROMPT #28: A SONG BY AN ARTIST WHOSE VOICE YOU LOVE
Hurt - Christina Aguilera
I'M OKAY - SAAY
So Much More Than This - Grace VanderWaal
Pretty Hurts - Beyonce
Just like Heaven - The Cure
i'm lonely - Luz
Skylark - Aretha Franklin
Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine
Ship To Wreck - Florence + The Machine
PROMPT #29: A SONG YOU REMEMBER FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD
Going Under - Evanescence
Muddy Hymnal - Iron & Wine
Rush - Aly & AJ
Smooth (feat. Rob Thomas) - Santana
Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men
She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer
PROMPT #30: A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOURSELF
Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine
Vienna - Billy Joel
The Pros and Cons of Breathing - Fall Out Boy
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
Car Radio - Twenty One Pilots
Sweet Nothing (feat. Florence Welch) - Calvin Harris
Lonely Dance - Set It Off
*Could not be found on Spotify
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Certainly Not I
When: Wednesday night, October 24th
Where: His bedroom and his mind
Why: On the night of the Hunters Moon, Ryder meets his shadow self for the first time.
What: Trigger warnings for violence, blood, drugs, guns, and mention of anxiety, trauma, murder, suicide, animal cruelty
“I learned to recognize the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both.” Robert Louis Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
As his eyes opened, he was no longer chained to the wall in his room. His skin wasn’t gray and stretched taut across a body that wasn’t his own. Ryder recognized where he was in an instant. Lynn’s Emporium and Oddities was as well known to him as the three freckles that form a triangle on his arm. Dark maroon walls over a hardwood floor. Shelves lining the middle of the back room where the real magic was sold. Two large grandfather clocks ticked just out of sync, loud enough to be heard in the empty room.
Breathing in the air brought with it the dust and musk of a store full of wonders both magical and useless. He began to walk along the nearest aisle, noticing something was off about the stock on the shelves. Everything was still labeled in Grunkle John’s scrawling script, but the items were different. Whereas the shelves were normally full of bottled potions, leather-wrapped books, and all sorts of crystals, there was instead an assortment of snow globes, picture frames, and carved wooden animals. Ryder paused, reaching a hand out to pick up one of the snow globes. Inside, trapped in water with pieces of glitter on the bottom, was a memory. He recognized the wet forest, saw himself as a child standing before a crocodile and trying to talk to it. Carefully, he set it back down.
Before he could pick up another item, movement at the end of the aisle caught his eye. Standing at the end, knuckles reaching the floor and back as hunched as if the creature was bowing, was the Werewolf. Yellow eyes staring back with recognition. Pointed ears that twitched and swerved to follow each tiny sound. Elongated snout ending in a wet, black nose. Gray skin that looked paper thin stretched over an emaciated body.
“Is that what he looks like?” he thought. He’d only been able to see from the neck down. Though when he’d been free in Siberia, he’d caught a few reflections of himself. Memories he’d blocked out.
No chains held the beast back. Ryder took a step away - and watched the werewolf step forward. He stepped back again, catching the werewolf mirroring his movement again. The creature’s breathing was slow, calm.
Hand reaching out, he grabbed the nearest item off the shelf and hurled it at the werewolf’s head. The cheap plastic swimmer’s trophy broke against the beast’s forehead, but Ryder was the one who felt a trickle of blood creep down his skin.
“Is this an illusion? A curse?” he barked at the creature. “Santana, is this you? I want out! I’m not fucking around!” He looked up but only saw the roof of the shop.
The last he remembered, he’d been chained up in his room. Sure, that memory was a bit blurry, but the combination of downers he took was enough to make the transformation and his anxiety over locking himself into magical chains bearable. The drugs had never caused a reaction like this before. Still, he wouldn’t have been able to create the illusion himself. Even if he had, he wouldn’t get pieces of the Emporium wrong. So where was he really?
A creak overhead caught Ryder’s ear, making the Werewolf’s ear jerk and swivel in the direction of the noise. “Stay here,” he commanded in a voice that quaked, turning to start up the stairs to where he and Grunkle John lived. (It was a voice he’d never use on a dog.) He ignored the sound of steps behind him. Even with the beast at his back, Ryder felt strangely alone. The Emporium never felt alone. It was always bustling with customers, and then when the hours ended for the day and the CLOSED sign was turned, Grunkle John was there to lead the way upstairs for dinner.
It was a narrow hallway, a few framed photos lined the wall. There wasn’t a theme to them, besides Pictures Grunkle John Likes. The door to the left of the top of the stairs was a door Ryder had been told to stay away from for years. Grunkle John had disappeared behind it regularly with customers. A few instances, Ryder had seen the customer leave with a brown paper wrapped package quickly being stowed away.
When he came home from NYADA to take care of Grunkle John, he’d finally been given the spell to unlock the door for himself. Ryder tried it now as he faced the door, but as the words left his mouth, his magic circle didn’t appear. Not even a spark of its light glimmered. “Fucking full moon.”
So he took the common’s way and tried to open the door by its handle. Locked. Still, on the other side of the door, he could hear someone or something moving around. “Grunkle John?” he called, knocking on the door. “It’s Ryder. Let me in.”
‘Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin,’ a voice whispered, raising the hair on the back of his neck. It was not the voice of his Great Uncle.
“Who’s there?” Bracing his shoulder against the door, he tried jiggling the knob with more force. A grunt escaped him as he knocked against it with his shoulder, only hurting himself in the process.
“Screw it,” he muttered, standing back a bit. Ryder lifted up his foot and kicked above the door knob, splintering the wood. With another kick to the same spot, the door flew open.
All of Lynn’s Emporium and Oddities fell away, leaving Ryder standing in the middle of a fast-moving stream of water. On one side, forest as lush and green and inviting as any he’d stood in. Not just one type of forest, but all of them meshed together with spruces and vines and ferns and moss blending seamlessly. Every inch was covered in warm sunlight, a soft breeze flowing between the leaves and mixing the smells together. He could even hear the calls and movement of animals not far off, living their lives without finding him a threat.
Across from the forest, on the other side of the stream, a full moon shone bright over a barren white landscape and a long line of prison cells. In the first cell, the Werewolf stood held back against the wall by chains. In the second, Shadow!Ryder waited, smiling back at Ryder. While they looked similar, one of Shadow!Ryder’s eyes was the same yellow as the Werewolf. His hair was longer, almost reaching his shoulders. A 5 o’clock shadow covered his jaw and chin. He wore simples clothes: dark jeans, a green t-shirt, worn brown boots.
The other man slid the door of the a cell open and walked out. ‘So hard to keep me locked away,’ he mused, stepping onto the fresh snow and leaving behind a deep red footprint. ‘I’ve been waiting to meet me. There are some things we need to talk about.’ His accent was decidedly New Yorker.
Ryder stepped out of the stream and onto the side of the forest. “Where am I?” His eyes looked on to the next cell where he saw his father first holding up a bible, then his mother in the one beyond with a cross in hand. In the fifth cell, Grunkle John laid in a hospital bed, hooked up to more machines that seemed possible to fit in the space. The cells went on, but Ryder looked back to the other man, not wanting to see any more.
‘Come on, Ryder. We’re not as dumb as you make us look,’ the other man sighed. ‘If it’s not an illusion, and it’s not reality-’
“Then it’s a dream,” he finished. But usually in his dreams, he could use his magic. Ryder continued to walk parallel along the stream, his counterpart following suit. What was that trick to realizing you were in a dream? Counting your fingers? He looked down to his hands, but he counted off ten without any problem.
‘That won’t work,’ the Shadow said. ‘Now onto the big question: who are you?’
A projector appeared out of thin air, landing on a stand and lighting up to show a diagram of Ryder on a white screen. The Shadow pulled out a long, metal pointer and whacked it against the image. ‘This is Ryder. SLIDE.’ The next picture showed Ryder in high school, sitting on a bench during lunch time and surrounded by pigeons. ‘Weak animal magician who talks when he could rule. SLIDE.’ Each time the slide changed, it sounded like a gun shot.
A small clip played next, showing Ryder using his water magic in the Socius Pactum tournament before the scene cut ahead to them losing. ‘Weak water affinity. SLIDE.’ A number of images showed in quick succession: each is a picture of him beaten, bruised, and/or bloodied, with the most recent picture showing him after Pagan Pride Parade. ‘You know, putting this together was pretty easy. I just Google image searched “Ryder Fighting Without Planning or Thinking”. I think you get the picture.’
‘SLIDE.’ The next clip that showed on screen only had flashes of movement of gray against a black background. The noise has Ryder closing his eyes, bringing up his hands to cover his ears. ‘Your first transformation. Do you remember the freezer? It was just big enough for you to lay down in. A coffin Grunkle John locked you in.’ A growl sent his body into convulsions. ‘He kept apologizing.’
“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” he said through gritted teeth, tensing with each wave of shivers that wracked his body.
The projector, the screen, and the pointer disappeared with a POOF. Ryder opened his eyes and jumped back when he saw the other man standing just before him.
‘Do you know what we could be? What we could do?’ he asked, tilting his head as he started to walk around Ryder in a circle. A copy of Lineage appeared in Ryder’s hands, lighting from the bottom in fire and burning it all to a crisp. A scoreboard appeared next with the Lineage scoreboard list of notable Bloodline families: Anderson, Clarington, Fabray. Each name was struck off with the snap of the shadow’s fingers. New names begin to write themselves across the board: Lynn, Gilbert, Rutherford, Rose, Karofsky.
To say he didn’t understand would be a lie. The strange, imperfect mirror of himself was being as clear as day. But Ryder didn’t know why this was happening. “What is this?”
‘Call it a rude awakening,’ the man chuckled. ‘Or a kick to the balls. You’ve forgotten your potential, Ryder. You’ve been pushing yourself down, trying to fit all the round pegs into square holes. Sure, someone else gave you the chains, but who locks you inside them?’ Crossing the stream, the other man went for the first cell. He smiled as he opened the cell door, pushing the metal aside.
“Wait, wait, no!” Ryder shouted, crossing the stream into the tundra. “No, you can’t go near him!” He didn’t notice the absence of footprints beneath his feet.
The other man didn’t even flinch as he approached the Werewolf attempting to gnaw at his chains, only to bloody his jaws and ruin his teeth for a time. ‘Ryder, you know as well as I do what happens to a caged animal.’
“...it dies,” he said, attempting to brace himself as he watched the Shadow take one of the locks in his hand and break it open. That wolf was going to kill him.
‘You cried the first time Grunkle John took you to a zoo. Every animal looked so sad, so bored. You punched the little kid that threw popcorn at the sleeping crocodiles,’ he mused, tugging at long strands of chains that dropped from the hulking beast.
This werewolf was different from Ryder’s. The hair was thicker in places, but the most noticeable difference was the sheer size of him. While the werewolf from the shop had looked emaciated and poorly cared for, the werewolf currently shaking chains off its body was all muscle. A huff of breath left the beast as it stepped out of its chains. Its head fell back and a piercing howl filled the air, which made the moon glow brighter in the sky.
Ryder’s eyes darted around to find something to protect himself with. A gun waited in the snow with a single, silver bullet beside it. He didn’t hesitate. Picking up the gun, he pulled back the bolt and slid in the bullet as the werewolf left behind its cell. Lifting the weapon, he raised his eyes but found the werewolf wasn’t alone.
Animals from every type of habitat stood surrounding the werewolf. The prison cells had disappeared leaving only open tundra lit by the moon. The animals didn’t cower away from the predator. Most of them stood in defensive positions, with a few looking ready to pounce Ryder. They were protecting the werewolf.
The Shadow stood beside Ryder. He reached a hand up to touch the gun, turning it to snow that trickled down to the ground. ‘Does anyone else know you would kill the werewolf if you could?’ he wondered. ‘That you would tear your soul in half to root out what scares you?’
His hand gestured to the gathering of animals. ‘This is what it could be like, Ryder. If you weren’t locked away by Bloodlines, by witches afraid of you, like you’re afraid of him. Imagine it: a world where you don’t have to chain yourself, or anesthetize yourself just to function.’ He took a step to stand in front of Ryder. ‘You don’t have to be afraid of yourself. Sader isn’t afraid of himself. Poe isn’t either. They’ve embraced what they are instead of trying to cage it away in the back of their heads.’
‘Maybe if you had a clear head,’ he said, tapping a finger to Ryder’s temple, ‘You’d protect yourself better. Protect others better. Be a better leader, a better person that doesn’t take the shit heaped upon him.’
Josh Coleman appeared before them, knelt on the ground. Ryder barred his teeth, grinding them together.
‘What if you pointed that gun out at the people who deserved it?’
54 materialized beside Josh.
“No,” he said, shaking his head, swallowing back the sick taste in his mouth like warm pennies. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
‘But that’s not true,’ the Shadow said, shifting to stand behind Ryder with his hands on his shoulders. ‘You can’t lie to me.’
“I’m not a killer,” he spat, shaking off the other man and turning to walk away from the display. He just wanted to reach the other side of the stream, but his steps didn’t bring him any closer. “I just want to go back.”
‘Back to your chains? Back to your jail cell?’ A loud snap accompanied the dream atmosphere changing again so they were standing in a replica of Ryder’s dorm room. ‘It’s easier to lock this all away. To pretend we’ve never had the thought. Ryder would never want to kill someone. He could never want to kill his werewolf, not a member of the LNSA. Gasp!”
“How do I get back?” he asked, searching around his room for something to help him. What - this had happened to a friend before. She, fuck, what was her name, the kind one, she had gone away into her mind. How could he be forgetting something so important?
The voice grew darker, “No, he doesn’t want to tear and rip the Bloodlines from their high horses and government thrones. Ryder wanting to fuck something other than his hand? God forbid. And he never wonders what would happen if someone took his chains away.’
Pieces of the room began fading away. Posters on the wall, books on his desk, the covers on his bed. But as they dissipated, the wall of chains loomed closer.
He closed his eyes, picturing a face. The word stuck on the edge of his tongue broke free: “Quinn!” Tethers. He needed a tether. Blocking out the voice behind him, Ryder walked to his desk and picked up a picture frame. Santana, Marley, Blaine, Quinn, Tina, Rachel, Elliott, and on. As he began speaking out the names of his friends, the voice calling to him grew more and more faint.
Ryder gripped the frame in his hands, speaking out names like prayers that could protect him from himself.
From his window, the light of the moon shone brighter with each name he spoke until it filled the room completely with blinding white.
As he woke, the eyes that he looked out of were sharper. The smells of the room were more pronounced. His arms felt heavy, pulling on the manacles around his wrists.
The moon was still shining outside and he had a long night yet ahead of him.
#nimshadows#para: Solo#t: para#tw: violence#tw: suicide#tw: blood#tw: guns#cw: anxiety#cw: mentions of death#cw: mentions of murder
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Klaine one-shot - “It’s a Kind of Magic” (Rated PG13)
Blaine has Kurt under his spell, and that isn’t just a cliché turn of phrase. (1920 words)
Notes: This is a re-write. Assumes that Kurt and Blaine met in New York, and not in Ohio.
Read on AO3.
“Do it … do it again,” a breathless Kurt giggles, rolling partially on one side to look in his lover’s eyes.
“Are you sure?” Blaine whispers, fingertips dancing centimeters from Kurt’s goose-pimpled flesh. “I mean, we’ve been at it for most of the evening already. Aren’t you getting a little dizzy?”
“I don’t care.” Kurt giggles again, snorting in his loopiness. “Keep going … please?”
“Alright.” Blaine grins. He shifts forward to kiss Kurt on the mouth, capturing each shiver that trembles Kurt’s chin with his lips. “Your wish is my command.”
Blaine keeps his lips locked to Kurt’s as he begins again, whispering words of seduction in his mouth, words Blaine conjures only for him, and Kurt closes his eyes, preparing to be swept away.
Kurt isn’t a fan of drugs. He dropped acid once in college - his singular moment of hardcore rebellion. But he didn’t groove on it, not in the way he’d feared he would. It had been a tricky rope he was walking. He wasn’t looking for an addiction, he just wanted to detach from life for a night, and Jell-O shots with Santana weren’t doing the trick. He’d been warned by a friend he was with that tripping on LSD could be unpredictable, which was supposed to be part of the appeal - exploration into the unknown without having to leave his mind. Admittedly, Kurt prefers predictability. He likes to know how many times the road is going to turn, if it’s going to be rainy or sunny outside, if he should pack a lunch or bring a sweater.
After the car accident that took his mother’s life when he was eight, his father’s sudden heart attack while Kurt was in high school, his father’s cancer scare while Kurt was in college, and his stepbrother passing away unexpectedly, Kurt put any love he had of surprises to rest. But he was willing to try it since, from what he’d heard, the experience was exactly what he was looking for.
Not until the windowpane was melting beneath his tongue did someone mention that it might make him retrospective if he had heavy issues on his head. All Kurt had in his head were heavy issues, so he was terrified he’d end up stuck in a corner, reflecting on his life, focusing on the bad and crying his eyes out. But it was too late to do anything about it at that point, so he gulped down the nub and held on for the ride.
Luckily, Kurt was at a party at a friend’s place - a friend he trusted thoroughly. And since said friend was playing “trip master”, Kurt felt safe. The mood was lively, the music bumping, and he was among friends, so his one experiment with acid wasn’t altogether bad.
Even if he did puke for about two hours after.
But it made him realize that he does enjoy having his mind altered a bit. The visual distortion. The hallucinations. The lifty feeling, like being lighter than air. Taking acid left him with so many moments of wonder, marveling at his existence. He spent part of the night dancing, getting drawn into the energy of the crowd, and part of the night lying on a floor covered in overstuffed pillows, petting his friend’s cat. But mostly he sat on the balcony, smelling the breezes as they passed by, gazing at the stars overhead, lost in his own strange, magical world.
That was the part he liked. That was what he wished he could have more of. But he didn’t want the Russian Roulette of chancing a bad trip in order to get it.
When Kurt shared this with his boyfriend Blaine during a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’, Blaine offered Kurt a unique opportunity to experience those things again safely, and without the aid of pharmaceuticals.
That offer preceded Blaine coming out to Kurt … as a wizard.
He offered to practice his spells on Kurt, help him relive the beautiful moments without the subsequent nausea or the fear of a bad trip. After the initial shock and disbelief, Blaine proved it – creating a rose using the snow that had settled on the windowsill outside. And Kurt jumped at it. He figured it couldn’t hurt, if Blaine used the right kinds of spells.
Kurt trusts Blaine. Trusts Blaine with his love, his body, and his life.
Blaine always seems to know exactly which spells to use, which ones will make Kurt feel perfectly sublime on any given day. When he starts to think that his usual repertoire is getting old, he breaks open the spell books and learns a few new ones.
Because he loves Kurt, he wants to make sure that the fabulous world he creates for him never dulls its shine.
Blaine’s talents engage all of Kurt’s senses: the sparks that fly from Blaine’s fingertips like fireworks dazzle Kurt’s eyes; the complicated tastes he layers on Kurt’s tongue tickle his palate; the music that fills Kurt’s ears, composed especially for him, makes his heart swell; the memories Blaine’s magic evokes lets Kurt relive the dearest moments from his past.
Through Blaine’s magic, Kurt got the chance to see his first ever ballet recital when he was five. He’d fought with his instructor, Madam LaCroix, to wear a pink tutu over his black leotard tights to match the girls in his class – and won. Adult Kurt didn’t remember much from that day except for the parents of the other children laughing and pointing at him, so originally it wasn’t one of his favorite memories. But getting to see it from an outsider’s perspective – how happy he was prancing around in his tutu, the smile on his face, the pride in his eyes – turned it into one of his favorites again.
Kurt got to see his father teach him how to ride a bike without training wheels. He saw the many times he fell, his father racing behind him to pick him up and put him back on the seat every single time until Kurt finally got the hang of it and his father could let go. He’d never realized how exhausting that had been for his father, how hard he had to work to keep up after a while. But he’d done it, and with a smile of his face.
It made Kurt love his father that much more.
He saw his mother sitting with six-year-old him on his bed. He heard her read to him from The Little Prince, and felt her kiss him goodnight. It renewed his recollection of specifics he’d forgotten, like the freckles on her nose, similar to his; the specks of greenish-gold in her blue eyes; the smell of her Ivory soap mixed with the lavender lotion she used on her hands; the soft, musical sound of her voice, whose echo had faded in his ears years ago.
It broke his heart, but it mended it as well.
For his part, Blaine enjoys casting spells on Kurt because it shows the complete trust that Kurt puts in him, into his abilities. And that makes his magic stronger.
“How was that?” Blaine asks, reluctantly pulling away from his moaning boyfriend. He would enjoy nothing more than to keep going and going until Kurt cums from pure bliss, but he likes to check in on him, especially when they get in deep the way they have tonight.
“Try another one?” Kurt begs before the last spell even fades, rolling over on his back to give Blaine space to decide which spell to use.
Blaine chuckles at his boyfriend’s impatience. “Okay, okay! This one’s an oldie, but a goodie.” He raises his hand above Kurt’s stomach and wiggles his fingers, and white sparks shoot from his fingertips. They land on the surface of Kurt’s skin and burrow their way in. Kurt bites his lower lip as the spell hits, squirming on his back on the bed. Blaine knows he’s fighting not to laugh, but he wiggles his fingers again, and Kurt can’t help it.
“Okay, okay, okay! Stop! Stop!” Kurt gasps, wrapping his arms around his waist and giggling as the aftereffects leave him. “I’m pretty sure that one’s my favorite!”
“Why’s that?” Blaine asks, closing his hand into a fist to stop the spell.
“I don’t know.” Kurt rubs his palm over his belly. “It kind of feels like champagne bubbles popping in my stomach, but not really. It makes me … effervescently happy.” He snorts at his own pun. “It’s … it’s difficult to put into words.”
“I know what you mean.” Blaine snaps his fingers until his hand glows white, then moves it up Kurt’s body. He brings his hand to hover flat over Kurt’s chest, filling everywhere it moves with a sensation of warm, tingly, and slightly numb. Kurt closes his eyes to focus on the heat, and Blaine hears Kurt’s heart race.
“Do you try these on yourself?” Kurt asks, shifting positions to direct Blaine’s hand where he wants it to go. Blaine follows Kurt’s silent command and adds to the heat - small spirals that seek the dark behind Kurt’s eyelids and fill it with soothing waves of color.
“Of course. There’s no way I’m going to do something to you that I haven’t done to myself first. I wouldn’t want to get it wrong and hurt you.”
“You’d never hurt me,” Kurt whispers, talking beneath the music starting in his ears. “I know you wouldn’t. You’re just too good.”
“I appreciate your faith in me.” Blaine lowers his hand to Kurt’s skin, making the heat more intense.
“So, which is your favorite?” Kurt bends to follow Blaine’s movements, sighing as his hand settles above his heart, sending the heat pulsing through his body with every beat.
“To tell you the truth …” Blaine watches Kurt react, and lets his body react along with his - “I think I like the good old-fashioned kind of magic best.”
“And what kind of magic is that?” Kurt breathes in deep as the scent of vanilla fills his nostrils. He pictures rabbits being pulled from hats and cards flying out of sleeves. That’s about as old-fashioned as it gets.
“The magic that you do.”
Kurt opens his eyes, twisting his neck to look Blaine’s way.
“What?” He figures Blaine has to be teasing him. But past the spray of color obscuring his view, Blaine seems serious. “But … I don’t do any magic.”
“Of course you do.” Blaine brushes the backs of his fingers against Kurt’s cheek, scooting closer while he talks. “It comes from the sparkle in your eyes. It’s in your designs, in your cooking. It’s in your voice when you sing” – Blaine moves his hand down Kurt’s body and laces their fingers together – “It’s in your hands on my skin” – He runs the tip of his nose against Kurt’s, his voice so far below a whisper, Kurt feels his words in the space between their lips – “The touch of your mouth against mine.”
The colors swimming in front of Kurt’s eyes turn into fire when Blaine kisses him, flames climbing high and glowing a rainbow of colors, ending in pops and sizzles slingshotting through his brain. It dies down when Kurt pulls away, a dizzy smile on his lips.
“I think I like the magic we make together best,” Kurt says.
Blaine nibbles Kurt’s lower lip, asking for another kiss.
“Yeah,” he agrees before Kurt gives it to him, “I like that, too.”
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