#SO I truly hope it's okay and wasn't too meta-gamey towards Patrick I'M??? NOT SUrE?? if it is at all i'm just!! KLFDJGLKHG | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mythvoiced · 1 year

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❝ you will understand in time. ❞ ( patrick at...maría?? >:3 )

@clemencetaught | PHANTOM OF THE OPERA / SENTENCE STARTERS

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A tale as old as time: the young and the less so, not quite old, but drained by life just enough that hearing what digits they carry with them in actuality, when contrasted with the age reflected in their eyes, the weight of the time equivalent of the experiences they've gathered, few don't find their own eyes widening when realising, putting two and two together, recognising the implications of a person not yet grey-haired speaking of pain and war with intimate familiarity.

A tale as old as time: the young, reckless, the first year of war, or the second, their first run, their first time smelling decaying corpses and feeling flaws crawl up their nostrils, choking them from within no matter how desperately they attempt to beg them to stop.

A tale as old as time: frustration v wisdom.

She will. She doesn't assume she won't. But as she stands there, body always angled away from Patrick and that wise, old, holder of past hurt look in his eyes, as she stands there and keeps dragging her hands through her hair, fingers getting suspiciously entangled just enough for her to rip, as she stands there and doesn't stand but paces, with her mascara dragging black lines down her face, as she growls in spite of her tears, she realises one thing, what-

"- if I don't want to?!" she hiccups into a shout, whipping around to stare at Patrick. A part of her acts as the spokeswoman to her shame, making her chest feel hot with it, when she recognises what she's doing.

Hasn't he suffered enough?

Hasn't he been here enough, stuffed into a suit, shoved into his victor throne, made to face her as she burns on the stake of her ache? Yes, yes, he has, yes, he knows better, yes, yes, yes, all of that, yes, BUT-

"How can you say that?" she lowers her voice until she's pushing it through her teeth, jaws clenched, stepping closer, face contorted, incapable of sticking to a grimace that manages to hide the desperation in her eyes.

They say, rely on your 'elders'. Listen to those that came before you, let them guide you in a world you don't understand. The Capitol, lights too bright, sounds too foreign, so many of the colours she's broken her back to help put on their clothes, stuck with her neck in the noose of their world and one foot stuck back at home.

One foot stuck in the Arena.

She inhales, sharply, reels herself back in.

"I don't want to," she metaphorically puts her foot down. Then reaches up to mess her hair up further. The Capitol can doll her up all they want. She'll always find a way to ruin it. When her arms drop back at her sides, they do so almost defiantly. She lifts her chin.

"I don't want to understand. I want to do something. How can you ask me to sit here and... and- and just..." her hand tries to encompass what her voice struggles to, but she drops it, bites her tongue, lifts her gaze to meet his once more.

"You shouldn't do that to yourself, either. Understand. They're not kind enough to understand us. Why should I bother to-- isn't that what they want us to do? Sit here and ponder until we realise why we deserve all this? No. There's nothing to understand. All I need to know, I already know."

Her forefinger reaches his chest. She doesn't stab him with it, much like her features soften, mellow out in the pleas of a child hoping the adult she wants to keep safe sees how hard she tries.

"You can't do that to yourself. You have to keep fighting. Don't let them-- don't give up on yourself."

Please.

#clemencetaught #the seeker;joan of arc;hunger games verse #GOD I HOPE THIS IS OKAY???? I!!!!!#this is the first time i'm actually writing María and still figuring her voice out ESPECIALLY within this MAGNIFICENT verse #SO I truly hope it's okay and wasn't too meta-gamey towards Patrick I'M??? NOT SUrE?? if it is at all i'm just!! KLFDJGLKHG #I HOPE IT'S OKAY OMG I'M SO EXCITED I WANT TO Scream And Shout And Let It All Out #your dash icon btw KISSES!!! OH DID YOU SEE on the 5th of June first ever international aromantic visibility day >:333333 #;answered

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