Thunderstorms (Reiner x Reader)

Authors Note: First AoT & Reiner fic! I am always generally confused about the geographic layout of things so just overlook the details that doesn’t line up with the anime. Pretend it’s okay. Thx. With my Reiner, we pretend he’s not the armored titan (shh). I have no idea where I’m going with most of my fics. I write blindly and it ends up with verbal diarrhea. I’m sorry if nothing makes sense. But if you’re still following me after my first fic, then you’ve signed up for my chaotic writing and I make no further apologies. Also, I never edit any of my stuff so expect a lot of errors. If it’s out of character, honestly - let me know! I feel like I’ve not written him well, to be honest. He’s a lot harder to write than I thought! Warnings: None. First fic though so - goodluck reading it! Words: 3,168

The weather forced everyone to take cover in one of their many base camp buildings set up in areas outside the walls. Whilst it wasn’t ideal when they were outside of the walls and in Titan territory, they really had no choice. With the heavy torrent of rain and the darkened sky, their vision was limited – and Levi had experienced such a situation before and it didn’t bode well. Had his rage not fueled him at the time, he probably wouldn’t have made it. It was not something he was putting his soldiers at risk. 

Hence why they rode a little further and took cover the evening. It was just a basic set up, enough to house them to give enough rest; a kitchen area, dining area and two rooms – usually set up for medical attention and the other for supplies. In these situations, the dining tables are moved to sit against the wall so the group can make camp for the night on the floor. Usually it wasn’t as disgusting as it sounded because Levi would have had everyone clean the area top to bottom. But some key factors prevented Levi from putting his squad to work; they were in titan territory, there were no cleaning supplies for such a trivial task – except, perhaps medical supplies, but their priority lied with the priority of his soldiers.

Whilst there wasn’t a stable set up, there was something similar to a ‘supply shed’, so everyone placed their horses in there, tying them up to whatever they could find and improvised a stable with what they had, before heading inside the building opposite. 

You, and your team mates stood around in the room, shivering slightly from the cold as the Captain addressed the group. “I know our current condition is not ideal, but we’ve been through worse. This is titan territory and we’re currently sitting ducks, but the weather will likely hold the titans off. It’s more risky riding out in the weather like this. I suggest you get whatever sleep you can while you can. As soon as the rain lets up, we’ll make continue onwards. I can’t say whether it’ll be an hour, a few hours, or until the morning. Everyone move the tables against the wall and make do on the floor.” “Sir!” voices called out in unison as they accepted their last order before bunkering down for the evening. There didn’t seem any point in having someone as spotter since you couldn’t see past the pelting rain. Levi, however, sat himself near the window regardless. The man never slept. The boys, mostly Reiner, helped move the tables to the side while the others chose their spots to rest for the evening. You watched as Mikasa, Armin and Eren set up together in their little group. It came as no surprise to you. It was at that point you could hear the sound of thunder rumbling. Your eyes widened a little in fear, you could feel your heart beginning to beat in a fast rhythm. You looked around for a safe place to set up and found an area little off to the side in a corner, away from everyone. The room murmured with hushed tones as people were mindful to keep their voices down for those who want to rest. You sat with your back against the wall, knees pulled up to your chest and arms wrapped around your legs. Your eyes glancing around the room, trying to focus on your teammates rather than the sound of the thunder that seemed to drawing closer as the rumblings became louder. Mikasa, Eren and Armin were lying on their stomachs, facing each other and just talking. Armin was smiling, Eren was giving a small smile, Mikasa’s eyes had softened, so they must have been talking about something nicer than the subject of Titan’s and future missions. Sasha and Connie and Jean seemed to be resting together, hoping to catch a few moments of precious sleep. You weren’t going to be getting any sleep soon. Or at all. You never did sleep when thunderstorms happened. You knew it stemmed from your childhood, from when your parents weren’t around when you were little, and you had to deal with the loud noise by yourself.

 Reiner and Bertholdt were finishing up moving the last of the tables. They didn’t really need to as there were already plenty of space to accommodate everyone, supposedly they were too busy quietly talking to realise. They were always together, those two. You never minded. But sometimes, just sometimes, it would have been nice to be able to speak to Reiner alone. In those times, it felt awkward to have Bertholdt there, and you can see that Bertholdt seem to feel uncomfortable being there too. But he never seemed to take the initiative to go and do something to leave you and Reiner alone. You never resented him for it. He treated you like a friend so you can hardly feel any resentment toward him for it. He seemed to have a shy streak to him, so perhaps it was that? Who knew. A loud clap of thunder had you flinching violently, and a strangled whimper-ish sound caught in your throat as you tightly shut your eyes, willing for the sounds to stop, quickly catching Reiner’s attention as he glanced over to the person he had come to care about in a much different way to how he cares about his comrades. “Hey Y/N. You lonely over there? Come and sit with us.” Reiner whispered loudly enough to be heard by you but not enough to disturb others. You didn’t respond. You couldn’t respond. The fear trapped your words and you were desperately trying to make the sounds stop. “Are they asleep?” Bertholdt asked as he glanced over at your curled form, looking as though you fell asleep sitting up, your head ducked so your features were half-hidden. “No, I don’t think so.” Reiner murmured, brows narrowing in concern. “Hang on.” He quickly excused himself as he stood up from where he was sitting with Bertholdt.

 He crouched down in front of you, “Hey. You alright?” “Yeah.” But the waver in your whispered tone betrayed you. “Really?” Yeah, Reiner was not at all convinced by your answer. Why would he be? He’s seen you sad, he’s seen you angry, he’s seen you happy… but he’s not seen you like this before. “Seriously, Y/N. What’s going on?” you didn’t have verbally answer. The sound of a loud crack of thunder gave away what was ailing you right now. You tried to muffle your fear but with Reiner being so close to you, it was hard to get away with it. He was quick to put two and two together. Particularly when your hands flung up to grip the sides of your head. You hated this. How pathetic you must look to the one you seemed to like and, perhaps, even found yourself flirting with. “You’re scared of the thunder?” You didn’t answer. God, you couldn’t answer. You couldn’t even look at him. You were rendered weak. Pathetic. You had no right being in the Scouts, let alone riding as Levi’s second team if you were scared of something so trivial such as thunderstorms. He seemed to have picked up on your distress. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re all allowed to be afraid of something you know.” Another loud crack of thunder that had the windows shaking, caused you to cry out in pure fear and lunge at Reiner. You heard him grunt in surprise, body tensing because he hadn’t expected to suddenly be holding you in his arms. The shock wore off as quickly as it came, and he wrapped his arms around you without another moment’s hesitation. It wasn’t the cold that had you shivering, it was the fear that had you trembling. You gripped the front of his damp shirt in the balls of your fists, burying your face in his chest. If there was ever a time to humiliate yourself, tonight was the night. You knew those who were still awake were watching, particularly when that last cry tore from your throat before you could even muffle it. Even Levi glanced over from watching the rain outside with his stoic expression. He didn’t say anything, nor did his features give anything away. Whatever it was, Reiner seemed to have it under control, there was no need for Levi to intervene unless a matter was brought to Levi’s attention.

 The tips of Reiner’s ears were red from being flustered at having you throw yourself at him the way you did. He had been trying to summon the courage to ask you out for weeks now but never seemed brave enough to do so. And when an opportunity arose like this, for him to step up, he still hadn’t a clue what to do. Perhaps if it was anybody else, it might have been different. He can act as that ‘big brother, pat-on-the-head, you’ll be alright kiddo’ guy. But with you – no. He really wanted to be there for you, he really wanted to make an effort, get you to notice him – particularly when he’s struggled to open up and say things. He’s low-key hoping you would pick up on the subtle hints he’s dropped. But you hadn’t. Either you weren’t interested or you were completely oblivious. If it were the latter, then it only makes Reiner fall in love with you even more; you’re still able to carry such an innocence about you in this grim world. It’s an adorable trait.

 Selfishly not wasting an opportunity, and to also generally help you too, he did what he thought was best, and he hoped he wasn’t overstepping the line by doing so. Holding you a little tighter, he maneuvered himself in two swift movements so that he was the one with his back to the wall, though his torso twisted to the right because you were still clinging to him like a frightened child. With his frame, it helped shield you from curious eyes and grant you that small piece of privacy. His arm came around your lower waist to anchor you to his side, his other arm dangling off the top of his bent leg. He glanced over at Bertholdt who was watching curiously and helplessly, Reiner simply gave him a nod of acknowledgement, hoping his friend would get the message that Reiner might not be moving from this position tonight. As uncomfortable as it might be, the aches and pains would be worth it if it meant being able to hold you, though preferably if it wasn’t under such conditions as this. Even with Reiner beside you, protectively holding you into his side, you still trembled with fear from the sound above you. Reiner eased the loneliness you felt, but he couldn’t ease the sound. The thunder was right above them, there was no reprieve between the loud claps and cracks, it was a constant low rumble threatening to erupt in a loud crack above them.

 Whenever it did, your breathing hitched in your throat and you pressed yourself harder into his side. “Hey, it’s alright. I got you, okay? ‘M right here. It can’t hurt you. It’s just noise. That’s all it is. Just noise.” Reiners voice was enough to calm you down from the hysteria rising in your chest, ready to break forth into a panic attack. He seemed to have realized this when you weren’t trembling as violently as you had been before. He couldn’t seem to calm you down by physically reassuring you, so perhaps he could distract you by talking? It would seem you wouldn’t be getting any sleep regardless. “Why are you so afraid of thunder?” He did his best to ensure that his tone didn’t come across as ridiculing or patronizing; again, he really didn’t want to mess up this opportunity to form a deeper connection with you. Your hands still gripped your head, palms covering your ears in an attempt to block out the thundering sound, but your attempts were futile. But Reiner’s voice made its way through the sound you found frightful of the night, and it pulled you from that scared place. “Um…” you started, voice wavering as though you were on the verge of tears. “I-I just remember being scared one night… and no one was around… I don’t know where my parents were… and… I was just so scared… I didn’t know… I remember getting out of bed to go look for them, calling out to them… but the thunder got louder and louder until …” You recalled that night quite clearly. You were scared of the loud rumblings. So you got out of bed to find your parents and as you were helplessly calling out to them, a loud crack of thunder had you screaming and running for a safe place to hide – which ended up being closed in the pantry. You sat there, knees drawn up, small fingers gripping your hair as you cried helplessly. You just wanted the noise to stop. You just wanted your parents.

“…I guess it just never went away? … Pathetic isn’t it?” Reiner listened quietly, his heart sinking a little at imagining how scared you must have been at such a young age. The thunder never scared him, but even as a kid, he was still scared of things. And he stood by what he told you earlier, “No, it’s not. We’re all afraid of something. If it’s not these titans, then it’s something else. It’s alright though. It’s what it means to be human.” “But thunder? Of all things?” “Hey, I’m afraid of bugs so…” He felt you smile against him and then heard a faint little laugh. His heart skipped a beat hearing this, trying not to smile knowing he made you smile and laugh. Proud of himself that he was able to do so considering you looked and sounded ready to breakdown at any given moment. “Reiner?” Oh god, the sound of his name falling from your lips – ‘No. Stop it.’ “Yeah?” “Are you really afraid of bugs?” “No… Spiders though… Anything that’s got more than four legs.” Again, he heard that little laugh emit from your lips. He longed to glance down and see you smile and laugh again, but with your head ducked out of his view, he couldn’t see a damn thing. But, as fate would have it, the loud crack of thunder had the windows rattling violently, even disturbing those that were sleeping. You couldn’t take it anymore, and in that moment of pure fear, you broke. The scared cry of a little girl muffled behind hands that were trying to hold back the sobs. Your eyes tightly closed as you do your best from breaking down any further. Your Captain’s awake and on the other side of the goddamn it! But here you are, trembling violently and crying out for the man sitting beside you, “Reiner!” it was a helpless cry, one that actually really tugged painfully at his heartstrings. “I’m here.” He murmured as the hand that had been resting on his knee came over and guided your head down onto his chest. Immediately you could hear the steady sound of his heartbeat and your eyes flung open, the couple of tears you were holding in quietly escaping but nothing more. The violent trembling ceased to a mere shiver, but that was something Reiner couldn’t fully help with. He took most of the struggle away already. His other hand wrapped around the curve of your waist as he continued to hold you. Your small banter aside, he’s just only now realizing the seriousness of your fear of thunderstorms. Every single person in this room had a trauma of some sort; whether it related back to their childhood, or as of recent. Your trauma had become apparent to him, and he wished he knew sooner. He could have kept an eye on you as soon as the thunder began rumbling from a distance. He could have done something to prevent you from curling into a frightened ball, thinking you had to suffer through this alone despite being in a room full of people that are supposed to have your back; not just on the field, but off the field too. They weren’t just colleagues. They were comrades. Brothers-in-arms. Family. “If there’s ever another thunderstorm. You come to me, alright? ‘M not letting you go through this alone. Don’t care what time of the night it is, you come to me. Got it?” “Yeah, promise.” You murmured, your muscles already beginning to relax against his form. “Thank you Reiner. For everything.” “Don’t sweat it.” Had it not been for your Captain sitting across on the other side of the room, you would have leaned up and given Reiner a kiss on the cheek. Perhaps it was just as well because you would have put that poor boy in such a flustered state. For now, you were content where you were. You felt Reiner shift slightly so he could, at the very least, get semi-comfortable for the rest of the evening. His hand still remained clasped over the side of your head, holding you to his chest in an attempt to keep you grounded and block out the rumbling sound outside. His thumb absent-mindedly stroking your temple (honestly, he probably doesn’t realise he’s even doing this); between his firm hold, gentle caress, steady heart beat and the even rise and fall of his chest, you were easily lulled to sleep. This might have been the first time in over a decade or two that you managed to sleep through a thunderstorm. Reiner couldn’t sleep. How could he? He had you cradled against him! And, oh, how gloriously right it felt. He was too nervous to move. What if he woke you? He was even more nervous that his heart would start beating wildly in his chest and disturb you, so he forced himself to keep calm with deep, steady breaths and hope that would keep his heart beat at a normal, steady pace. Eventually, though, he must have succumbed to sleep, because Bertholdt found you both asleep together; you, curled up in his side, basically using his chest as a pillow, and him still holding you protectively against him – even in his sleep. It seemed almost cruel to disturb you both. But the rain let up, the sun is out, it’s best they move. There’ll be other moments like this to look forward to. At least, you hope so. You hoped this wasn’t just a ‘pity one-night-stand’ kind of thing. Not that you knew this, but for Reiner it certainly wasn’t. He said you weren’t alone, and he meant it. You had him. So long as you want him by your side, he’ll always be there. He’s got your back. Just come to him. Whatever you need, he’s there. | Tags: @commanderserwin

what fic of urs do u like the most?🥺

ohhhhhh I love this question so much 🥺 I've written a few things I'm proud of so I'll share my favourite three if you don't mind!

in no particular order

We Should Really Be Together More

This one is a quite gory and very dark content but I'm very proud of it. I spent a long time watching movies and making notes and taking my time writing this one. It was something different for me too, it's not entirely smut focused. I wanted to write a real crime drama type piece and something a little scandalous. The letter writing between the reader and Dabi is something I've never done before and I feel like it helped break the story up nicely and build their relationship without them ever meeting.

Let’s Get Right, Okay? Okay.

I wrote this and serial killer Dabi quite near each other so I think I was just on a good run with creative fics?? I remember joining this collab and having no idea what I was going to write. I had an entirely different story in mind but I was thinking, no, I want to do something so unique and something that is a total mindfuck, and I ended up writing this. I hate bragging or tooting my own horn but I really do love this one and think it's amazing. I remember crying to my boyfriend when I posted it because I think it's super underrated. But yes, another favourite of mine!

I Don't Really Know Why I'm Still Here

VERY funny story. I joined this collab and the shtick was that was got assigned a character a location and stuff and had to write a fic in relation to what we were given. Now, when I spun the wheel and got Reiner I was SCREAMING because I had spent a few weeks on Tumblr calling him ugly. I now see the error of my ways I love him now. Anyway, I was massively inspired by The Shining for this fic, as soon as I got maze as my location I was like, perfect, I'm gonna watch The Shining again and get inspired. I don't think it's a rip off at all but I think once you know it was what inspired me you can see the inspiration in it! I love this fic a lot, it's very eerie and emotional and yet another mindfuck and I was really happy with it when I finished writing it. I think this is probably my most underrated fic which is sad but I'm glad some people like it!

sorry for making this so long I've never had a question like this before so I got carried away 🥺 it's so sweet and kind to ask and it's been so nice remembering things I've done here that I'm genuinely proud of. Thank you so much 💗