#REMEMBER WHEN BRUNO SHOWED UP AT THE END OF BOOK II | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cruger2984 · 3 years

Text

Wind Boys! and its Saints Part 2

"The protagonist who returns to their hometown of Kanazawa as a new teacher at Ishikawa Prefectural Weibuki High School. A historic public high school that is 126 years old.

Considered a top-class preparatory school in the prefecture with both literary and military arts. The brass band club of Weibuki High School used to be strong and a regular at national competitions.

But that was long ago, and it’s now virtually abandoned. However, with the new storm of first-year students that have entered school. The protagonists is caught up in the great uproar of the revival of the brass band club..."

Here’s the second batch of the boys from Ishikawa Prefectural Weibuki High School and their corresponding saints!

June 26 - Ikuzo Suzushiro

St. Vigilius of Trent: 5th century saint who is known as the first bishop of Trent, and is should not be confused with the pope of the same name. According to tradition, he was a Roman patrician, the son of Maxentia and a man whose name is sometimes given as Theodosius. He was educated at Athens and seems to have been a friend of St. John Chrysostom. According to a later tradition, Vigilius, who had been accompanied by his brothers Claudian and Magorian as well as a priest named Julian, was killed in the present-day parish of Rendena, in the Rendena Valley, where he had been preaching against the locals there, who worshipped the god Saturn. Vigilius said Mass and overturned a statue of the god into the Sarca River. As punishment, he was stoned to death near Lake Garda at the area called Punta San Vigilio. He is associated with the legend of St. Romedius, who is often depicted alongside or astride a bear.

September 17 - Yasuhito Irei

St. Robert Bellarmine: 17th century Italian Jesuit confessor and Cardinal from Italy and one of the most important figures in the Counter-Reformation. Robert was a professor of theology and later rector of the Roman College, and in 1602 became Archbishop of Capua. He supported the reform decrees of the Council of Trent. He is also widely remembered for his role in the Giordano Bruno affair, the Galileo affair, and the trial of Friar Fulgenzio Manfredi. Canonized and declared Doctor of the Church by Pope Pius XI in 1930, his remains, in a cardinal's red robes, are displayed behind glass under a side altar in the Church of Saint Ignatius, the chapel of the Roman College, next to the body of his student, Aloysius Gonzaga, as he himself had wished. He is the patron saint of canonists, canon lawyers and catechists.

December 13 - Junta Minoike

St. Lucy of Syracuse: 4th century virgin and martyr who died during the Diocletianic Persecution and is the patron saint of the blind. Absent in the early narratives and traditions, at least until the fifteenth century, is the story of Lucia tortured by eye-gouging. According to later accounts, before she died she foretold the punishment of Paschasius and the speedy end of the persecution, adding that Diocletian would reign no more, and Maximian would meet his end. This so angered Paschasius that he ordered the guards to remove her eyes. Another version has Lucy taking her own eyes out in order to discourage a persistent suitor who admired them. This is one of the reasons that Lucy is the patron saint of those with eye illnesses. When her body was prepared for burial in the family mausoleum it was discovered that her eyes had been miraculously restored. The Caribbean island of Saint Lucia, one of the Windward Islands in the Lesser Antilles, is named after her.

September 6 - Ryotaro Itsuki

St. Gondulphus of Metz: 9th century Frankish bishop who is the known as the bishop of Metz in France. As bishop, Gondulphus succeeded Angilram, him who caused Paul the Deacon to write the Liber de episcopis Mettensibus, and who died probably in 791.

July 11 - Izuru Taira

St. Benedict: 5th century abbot, mystic, exorcist, religious and founder of the Order of Saint Benedict (the Benedictine order). He founded twelve communities for monks at Subiaco, Lazio, before moving to Monte Cassino in the mountains of southern Italy. The Order of Saint Benedict is of later origin and, moreover, not an 'order' as commonly understood but merely a confederation of autonomous congregations. His main achievement, his 'Rule of Saint Benedict', contains a set of rules for his monks to follow. Heavily influenced by the writings of John Cassian, it shows strong affinity with the Rule of the Master, but it also has a unique spirit of balance, moderation and reasonableness, which persuaded most Christian religious communities founded throughout the Middle Ages to adopt it. As a result, his Rule became one of the most influential religious rules in Western Christendom. He is believed to have died of a fever at Monte Cassino not long after his twin sister, Scholastica, and was buried in the same place as his sister. He was named patron protector of Europe by Pope Paul VI in 1964, and in 1980, Pope St. John Paul II declared him co-patron of Europe, together with Cyril and Methodius.

July 26 - Daisuke Maruyama

Sts. Joachim and Anne: They are known as the parents of the Virgin Mary and grandparents of Jesus Christ. The story of Joachim, his wife Anne (or Anna), and the miraculous birth of their child Mary, the mother of Jesus, is told for the first time in the 2nd century apocryphal infancy-gospel the Gospel of James (Protoevangelium of James). Joachim is a rich and pious man, who regularly gave to the poor. However, at the temple, Joachim's sacrifice was rejected, as the couple's childlessness was interpreted as a sign of divine displeasure. Joachim consequently withdrew to the desert, where he fasted and did penance for 40 days. Angels then appeared to both Joachim and Anne to promise them a child. Joachim later returned to Jerusalem and embraced Anne at the city gate, located in the Walls of Jerusalem. An ancient belief held that a child born of an elderly mother who had given up hope of having offspring was destined for great things.

March 27 - Kojiro Maruyama

St. Rupert of Salzburg: 8th century Austrian bishop who is the first Bishop of Salzburg and abbot of St. Peter’s in Salzburg, and was the contemporary of King Childebert III. By the end of the 7th century, the Agilolfing duke Theodo of Bavaria requested that he come to his residence at Regensburg (Ratisbon) to help spread the Christian faith among the Bavarian tribes. In Christian art, he depicted with a barrel of salt in his hand, thus he is the patron saint of salt miners.

January 10 - Aoto Mochizuki

St. William of Donjeon (Guillaume de Donjeon): French prelate of the Cistercian order who served as the Archbishop of Bourges from 1200 AD until his passing. He was also known for his deep devotion to the Blessed Sacrament and for his conversion of sinners, and oversaw the construction of the new archdiocesan cathedral that his predecessor had authorized and in which he himself would be buried. It had been claimed that he performed eighteen miracles in life and a further eighteen in death.

August 28 - Yahiko Nanri

St. Augustine of Hippo: 5th century theologian, philosopher, and the bishop of Hippo Regius in Numidia, Roman North Africa. His writings influenced the development of Western philosophy and Western Christianity, and he is viewed as one of the most important Church Fathers of the Latin Church in the Patristic Period. His many important works include The City of God, On Christian Doctrine, and Confessions. Born in Tagaste (now Souk Ahras, Algeria), his mother, Saint Monica was a devout Christian; his father Patricius was a pagan who converted to Christianity on his deathbed. At the age of 31, having heard of Ponticianus's and his friends' first reading of the life of Anthony of the Desert, Augustine converted to Christianity. As Augustine later told it, his conversion was prompted by hearing a child's voice say 'take up and read' ('tolle, lege'). Resorting to the Sortes Sanctorum, he opened a book of St. Paul's writings at random and read Romans 13. Ambrose baptized Augustine and his son Adeodatus, in Milan on Easter Vigil in the year 387. Augustine was ordained a priest in Hippo Regius in Algeria and become a famous preacher, and was noted for combating the Manichaean religion, to which he had formerly adhered. He is the patron saint of brewers and theologians, and his major shrine can be found in San Pietro in Ciel d'Oro in Pavia, Italy.

May 23 - Mashu Izumitani

St. Julia of Corsica: 5th century virgin and martyr, and is included in most summary lives of the saints. The details of those lives vary, but a few basic accounts emerge, portraying biographical data and events that are not reconcilable. Various theories accounting for the differences have been proposed. The quintessential icon of Saint Julia derives from the testimony of Victor Vitensis, contemporaneous Bishop of Africa. Julia was a Carthaginian girl who, after being captured from her city, came into the service of a man named Eusebius. In iconography, she is depicted with a martyr's palm and a crucifix, the symbol of her crucifixion. She and Saint Devota are the patron saints of Corsica in the Catholic Church.

September 30 - Mikio Kannoto

St. Jerome: 5th century hermit, priest, confessor, theologian, and historian. Born at Stridon, a village near Emona on the border of Dalmatia and Pannonia, he is best known for his translation of most of the Bible into Latin (the translation that became known as the Vulgate) and his commentaries on the Gospels and his list of writings is extensive. A protégé of Pope Damasus I, Jerome was known for his teachings on Christian moral life, especially to those living in cosmopolitan centers such as Rome. In many cases, he focused his attention on the lives of women and identified how a woman devoted to Jesus should live her life. Declared a Doctor of the Church, his major shrine can be found in Basilica of Saint Mary Major. In art, he is often represented as one of the four Latin doctors of the Church along with Augustine of Hippo, Ambrose, and St. Gregory the Great.

October 24 - Kuri Tobaya

St. Anthony Mary Claret: 19th century Spanish archbishop and missionary, who founded the Congregation of the Missionary Sons of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, commonly called the Claretians on the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel in 1849, and gave approval by Pope Pius IX in 1865. In addition to the Claretians, which in the early 21st century had over 450 houses and 3100 members, with missions in five continents, Claret founded or drew up the rules of several communities of religious sisters. His zealous life and the wonders he wrought, both before and after his death, testified to his sanctity. His major shrine can be found in Barcelona, and is the patron saint of the Catholic press, textile merchants and savings, in which Anthony taught the poor the importance of savings. Anthony is the confessor of Queen Isabella II of Spain.

November 25 - Akane Yoneya

St. Catherine of Alexandria: 4th century virgin who was martyred in the early 4th century at the hands of the emperor Maxentius. According to her hagiography, she was both a princess and a noted scholar who became a Christian around the age of 14, converted hundreds of people to Christianity and was martyred around the age of 18. More than 1,100 years after Catherine's martyrdom, Joan of Arc identified her as one of the saints who appeared to and counselled her. Catherine is traditionally revered as one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers, in which she against sudden death and diseases of the tongue. She is the patron of philosophers, theologians, maidens and female students.

#random stuff #catholic #catholic saints #ウインドボーイズ #wind boys!#ikuzo suzushiro #yasuhito irei #junta minoike #ryotaro itsuki #izuru taira #daisuke maruyama #kojiro maruyama #aoto mochizuki #yahiko nanri #mashu izumitani #mikio kannoto #kuri tobaya #akane yoneya

5 notes · View notes

ihavesomethingtoaskofyou · 3 years

Note

Not related to Seteth that much, but just wanted to say regarding this new chapter in FEH after reading your post about it- 1: I agree with all your points. 2: If you haven't played it yet, please do. It clears up a few things you've mentioned, though the story is still confusing as ever

YEAH I did actually. I’m still... Man. This story just threw me into a loop. I never Made a post after he actual chapter came out. because I’ve still been trying to figure out how I feel about it.

But thank you so much for sending this in! I’ve really been thinking about making another post discussing this but never got around to it because I didn’t want to turn this into a “Lin has feelings and opinions about FEH” blog. Though there is an Alfonse ask blog if y’all want my opinions on FEH there.

To also just mention this- I live where FEH resets is midnight but atm where I am it’s three am and I deadass stayed up until three for this chapter and BOY do I have opinions. Last time I stayed up for FEH reset where it was at three intentionally was Mila banner so I could summon for Líf. As much as I always say FEH bad and FEH stinky, I’m so attached to Alfonse that I’m the fool here.

This is going to be long because I’m going to mention a few things I’ve thought about since the midpoint and just going back to it. But basically, a whole bunch of things relating to Book IV and Book III because those are the only two really relevant anymore (thank you IntSys for at least attempting to make Veronica relevant. Maybe we should get her and Bruno as units and not their alts and more about them-)

ALSO WHEN I WENT BACK IN THE CHAPTER FOR THIS LET ME JUST SAY

Why does when you’re engaging an enemy does it look like you’re in front of the summoning stone. At least in the last part of the chapter. Please IntSys, this chapter already brought me enough pain.

A lot of this is may seem like “Wow that’s obvious” but still.

Starting with the beginning of the book, and all of it really. It’s so confusing. And what did this really... Have to do with the “plot”. It’s like IntSys forgot about the Embla and the conflict with Askr. Sure, Book II was somewhat related, and Book III was actually pretty related with the whole Líf/Alfonse and Thrasir/Veronica thing. Book IV finally doesn’t feel as disconnected from the rest of the “plot” (I say “plot” because it’s a tough subject on what the plot of FEH is) as the whole, “He died because of what happened in Hel/with Hel” thing. Book IV is literally some fever dream.

Alfonse being dead did not hit me well. Now this may sound childish, but when FEH first came out, I had finally moved back to my home state yet was still alone and all. All the friends I had left me one way or another over the years so when I first started playing, Alfonse was instantly one of my favourites. It wasn’t an “Oh haha he’s hot” thing but more of a “He gets it”. So with the whole Kiran is actual Alfonse detail?

Yeah me too.

With Kiran being from our world, you’d assume shitty things happened to them. It’s our world after all. So one could assume, going to Zenith was probably nice for them. Again, we don’t have any information about Kiran because they’re supposed to be us, but by the way Kiran hasn’t tried to leave yet (Unless they have and IntSys just. Didn’t show us until sometime later to fuck everything over) they wanted to stay. It makes sense they would want to stay, and have grown attached to the Askran trio and other Heroes as the summoner support exists (I say that as if my summoner supports aren’t Alfonse and Líf). So you could say that’s one reason they became Alfonse for his book, but honestly I say there’s more to it than “I didn’t want you to live without Alfonse/I wanted him to keep being able to go on adventures with his friends”. I definitely don’t think it was Kiran being selfish though, just putting that out there. I think it really does have to do with Alfonse and the game isn’t just saying that to not be like “Oh well in reality Kiran doesn’t want to leave”.

I went back to through the last part of the chapter again and I’m not wrong. Freyja’s line to Kiran saying they were all alone further supports the whole “Kiran finally has friends” thing.

I’m not going to quote Alfonse’s lines again, but I will quote Líf’s. Many of the things Líf says suggests that he was close with his Kiran. And obviously that means Alfonse and Kiran are close and the likes yeah yeah but. Looking at Líf’s lines...

“Get close to someone, and the pain of parting will be much more acute. You and Alfonse must remember this.”

“If you want someone to patrol with, ask Alfonse. I am not your comrade. But...be careful. Please.”

And then his whole level 40 conversation honestly.

“I once made a vow to Kiran... The summoner of my world, I mean. We trusted each other. I swore that I would keep Kiran safe... But in the end, I was unable to keep that promise. Alfonse must not make the same mistake I did. And I will protect you myself. Yes, I will continue to fight. Not as Alfonse, but as Líf. For your sake.”

Since Líf is technically still Alfonse, even with different futures, it suggests that no matter what, Alfonse and Kiran has a strong relationship and deeply care for each other. I’m not saying it’s something romantic because again, Kiran is the player and some people may not like Alfonse, but you can’t deny the in game relationship between the two is important to each other. So in all reality, part of the real reason could be that Kiran couldn’t cope with Alfonse’s death. Again this is just me speaking here but. I dunno.

I don’t think I need to say this but. The whole “changeling is Sharena” was to get everyone to focus on Sharena so Kiran being Alfonse was more surprising. With what happened, there’s no way they’d pull that too. Or they would but I feel like that would be more annoying than anything? IntSys definitely is aware how people feel about this chapter. There’s no way they wouldn’t.

Now to compare that part from the midpoint to the chapter!

Earlier, I started theorizing why “Alfonse” was in our world. I mentioned how close Alfonse and Kiran are, why Alfonse would be there, why “Kiran” came at “Alfonse”, but it’s really proven now. This may not have been noticeable because it was short, but “Alfonse” doesn’t seem phased at what “Kiran”’s doing. When Kiran comes towards Alfonse, we never knew the motive but for that short time you can see Alfonse’s face (I suggest watching the midpoint in .5 to catch it) and he just. Seems like it’s not really a shocker to him. He only just looks so dumb and needs a small bap in the face. So it’s like Kiran was aware they were going to see Alfonse again.

I’ve put this in my writing about this chapter but, there’s a possibility Kiran also wanted to lead them all to him through this to try and help him or whatever. Though that’s more just me writing angst off of my feelings of him being dead.

But as Freyja said, this is just one whole dream. So that would imply next chapter everyone will wake up and Alfonse would be alive.

Yeah.... I don’t think that could work. Because then Hel would have to be a dream.

Or you know.

They could break the fourth wall in a terrible way. Where everyone learns about FEH. And that’s what she could’ve meant by “everything is a dream”.

But I highly doubt it.

I hope the next chapter isn’t disappointing and that Alfonse can come back. Perhaps the Light’s Blessings can come into play? Become story relevant too.

This all may have not made sense but, I really do have opinions for the chapter.

Apologies if this doesn’t make sense, I’m still trying to wrap my head around a lot of things.

#feh #fire emblem heroes #feh book iv #feh book 4

6 notes · View notes

tahanismoved · 4 years

Text

did you really think i’d forget this one?

Good evening. Hi, I’m John Mulaney, nice to meet you. Jon Brion, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming to see me at Radio City Music Hall. I love to play venues where if the guy that built the venue could see me on the stage, he would be a little bit bummed about it. Look at this. This is so much nicer than what I’m about to do. It’s really… It’s really tragic. What a historic and beautiful and deeply haunted building this is. I keep walking through cold spots being like, “I wonder who that used to be.”

I’ve never seen a ghost, by the way. I asked my mom if she’d ever seen a ghost. That’s where we’re at conversation-wise in our relationship as a mother and son, because I’m 35 and I don’t have any children to talk about and she doesn’t understand my career. So I was home for Christmas and we were just eating Triscuits in silence and I was staring at the floor and I was like, “Well, here goes nothing. ‘You ever seen a ghost?'” And my mom said, “Yes.” Which is the best answer. She said, “I never told you this before but our house, when you were growing up, was haunted.” I said, “Say more right now!” She said, “Outside you and your brother’s room, I used to see the ghost of a little girl in a Victorian nightgown and then she would walk down the hallway and then she would evaporate.” And then my dad said, “Let’s change the subject!” And I think he was just doing that dad-thing of, like, “This is a weird topic and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.” But the way it came off was that he definitely killed that little girl. “Let’s change the subject! Why are we even talking about Penelope… or whatever her name was? I didn’t kill her! Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world.”

None of us really know our fathers. Anyway… My dad is so weird. I’d love to meet him someday. You know, my friend was telling me that his dad used to beat him with a belt and that’s just the setup to my story, so… Forget about that poor son of a bitch. Anyway… He was talking and I was waiting for him to be done so I could talk. So he’s “talk, talk, talk.” It’s my turn next! And…

[audience laughing]

I said, “My dad never hit us.” My dad is a lawyer and he was a debate team champion. So he would pick us apart psychologically. One time I was at the dinner table when I was like six, because I had to be. My dad goes, “How was school today?” I said, “It was good but someone pushed Tyler off the seesaw.” “And where were you?” “I was over on the bench.” “And what did you do?” “Nothing. I was over on the bench.” “But you saw what happened?” “Yeah, ’cause I was over on the bench.” “So you saw what happened and you did nothing?” “Yeah, ’cause I was sitting over on the bench.” “Let me ask you this. In Nazi Germany…”

[audience laughing] “

…when people saw what the Nazis were doing and did nothing, were those good people?” “No, those are bad people. You gotta stop the Nazis.” “But you saw what they were doing to Tyler and you did nothing!” “Because I was over on the bench.” And then my dad said, “Just explain to me this. How are you better than a Nazi?” And then my mom said, “I made a salad with Craisins!” And the conversation ended.

My dad’s a very weird, informal guy. A lot of people ask me if he gave me a sex talk. Yes. I think. I was like 12 years old and my dad walked up to me and he said, “Hello… [chuckles] Hello, I’m Chip Mulaney. I’m your father.” And then he said the following, “You know, Leonard Bernstein… was one of the great composers and conductors of the 20th century, but sometimes he would be gay. And according to a biography I read of him, when he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work.” [audience laughing] Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that. And I don’t know if he was discouraging me from being gay or encouraging me to be a classical composer. But that is how he thought to phrase it to a 12-year-old boy. How would that ever work? Like years later, I’d be in college about to go down on some rocking twink and I’d be like, “Wait a second… What would Leonard Bernstein do?” I’ve never talked to my dad about that, but I figured I would tell all of you.

[audience laughing]

This is so great. Thank you for coming. You’re here. That’s great. You all showed up. -[audience cheering] -I appreciate it. And then we showed up so you got to see the things that you paid to see. That’s great. You don’t always get to see the things that you paid to see. Ever been to the goddamn zoo? Those guys are never where they’re supposed to be. Every time I go to the zoo I’m like, “Hey, where’s the jaguar?” And the zoo guy is like, “He must be in the inside part.” The inside part? Tell him we’re here.

[audience laughing]

I love doing stand-up for crowds because this right here, this reminds me of assembly in grade school. And assembly was the only part of school I ever liked. Once you leave school, you don’t get to have assembly. This is the closest we get in adult life to assembly. ‘Cause look at you all, you’re just sitting there in chairs, looking at a guy with absolutely no expertise, who’s going to talk for a while. Although this is different than assembly because you bought tickets, you knew this was coming. Assembly you never knew was coming when you were a kid. You just showed up at 8:00 a.m. and they were like, “Put down your stuff. Go to the gym.” You’re like, “God, I guess they’re finally going to kill us all. All right. This is younger than I thought I would be but we are pretty big assholes.” You get to the gym and the whole school is sitting on the floor. You’re like, “What are we, about to graduate from Tuesday?” My principal would always come out to kick things off. She’d be like, “Children, rather than continue to teach you how to read, we have cleared the entire day for this random guy.” [imitating New York accent] “I used to smoke crack! As you seven and eight-year-olds probably know, freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. But I’m here to tell you there’s hope. I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. Weekends, that’s Nunzio’s time.”

I was once in assembly listening to a guy talk about smoking crack. My social studies teacher yelled at me, “Sit up straight! Show some respect.” I was like, “He’s smoking cocaine.” “Sit up straight”? He’s standing on a 45-degree angle. Or, as junkies call it, first position.

[audience laughing]

I always got yelled at at assembly. That’s right. There was always assembly and then, like, that second assembly to yell at you for how you behaved at the first assembly. They’d be like, “Get in here! Sit down. I want to talk about what happened yesterday.” You’re like eight years old, “What’s yesterday?” “We invite a woman here with homemade puppets to teach you about bullying through skits and you laugh at this woman? We noticed you had all been bullying each other and making fun of everything constantly. So we invite a woman with straight gray hair, in a denim dress, with a wrist-cast and homemade puppets that all have the same voice to teach you about bullying through skits, and you, ha-ha-ha, laugh it up. What was so funny about that woman? I want to know. What was so funny about when she couldn’t fit the box of puppets back into the trunk of her Dodge Neon? What was so hilarious that you all ran to the windows? Well, you all missed a valuable lesson on the danger of cliques.” “What’s a clique?” “It’s when a group of people hang out together.” “Oh, you mean like having friends?” “No, because these people make fun of other people.” “Oh, you mean like having friends?”

[audience laughing]

The greatest assembly of them all, once a year, Stranger Danger. Yeah, the hottest ticket in town. The Bruno Mars of assemblies. You are gathered together as a school and you are told never to talk to an adult that you don’t know and you are told this by an adult that you don’t know. We had the same Stranger Danger speaker every year when I was a kid, his name was Detective JJ Bittenbinder. Go ahead and laugh. His name is ridiculous. That was his name. It was JJ Bittenbinder. He was from the Chicago Police Department. He was a child homicide expert and… -[audience is silent] -Oh, gee. [audience laughing] Very sorry, Radio City, did that make you uncomfortable? Well, guess what? You’re adults and he’s not even here. So try being seven years old and you’re sitting five feet away from him. He’s still got blood on his shoes. And he’s looking at you in the eye to tell you for the first time in your very young life that some adults find you incredibly attractive. [audience laughing] And they may just have to kill you over it. Okay, c’est la vie, go be kids, go have fun. Bittenbinder came every year. By the way, Detective JJ Bittenbinder wore three-piece suits. He also wore a pocket watch. Two years in a row, he wore a cowboy hat. He also had a huge handlebar mustache. None of that matters, but it’s important to me that you know that. He did not look like his job description. He looked like he should be the conductor on a locomotive powered by confetti. But, instead, he made his living in murder. He was the weirdest goddamn person I ever saw in my entire life. He was a man most acquainted with misery. He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.

[audience laughing]

That line never gets a laugh. But once you write it, it stays in the act forever.

So Bittenbinder came every year with a program to teach us about the violent world waiting for us outside the school gym, and that program was called Street Smarts! “Time for Street Smarts with Detective JJ Bittenbinder. Shut up! You’re all gonna die. Street Smarts!” That was the general tone. He would give us tips to deal with crime.

I will share some of the tips with you this evening. “Okay, tip number one. Street Smarts! Let’s say a guy pulls a knife on you to mug you.” You remember the scourge of muggings when you were in second and third grade. You know how a mugger thinks. “Man, I need cash for drugs right now. Hey, maybe that eight-year-old with the goddamn Aladdin wallet that only has blank photo laminate pages in it will be able to help.” “Let’s say a guy pulls a knife on you to mug you. What do you do? You go fumbling for your wallet. And you go fumbling for your wallet. Well, in that split-second, that’s when he’s going to stab you. So here’s what you do. You kids get yourselves a money clip. Okay, you can get these at any haberdashery. You put a $50 bill in the money clip then when a guy flashes a blade, you go, ‘You want my money, go get it!’ Then you run the other direction.” And our teachers were like, “Write that down.” [audience laughing] We’re like, “Buy a money clip. Engraved, question mark?” You go home to your parents. “Hey, Dad. Can I have a silver money clip with a $50 bill in it, please? Don’t worry. I’m only going to chuck it into the gutter and run away at the first sign of trouble. The man with the mustache told me to do it.”

“Tip number two. Street Smarts! Let’s say a kidnapper throws you in the back of a trunk…” This was at nine in the morning. [audience laughing] “Let’s say a kidnapper throws you in the back of a trunk. Don’t panic. [chuckles] Once you get your bearings… find the carpet that covers the taillight, peel back the carpet, make a fist, punch the taillight out the back of the car, thus creating a hole in the back of the automobile, then stick your little hand out and wave to oncoming motorists to let them know that something hinky is going on.” Can you imagine driving behind that? [imitating a thud] I think they’re turning left. [audience laughing]

“Tip number three. Street Smarts! You kids have no upper body strength.” And we were like, “We know but, hey.” “If some guy tries to grab you, you can’t fight him with fists. So here’s what you do. You kids fall down on your back and you kick upward at him. That’ll throw him off his rhythm.” That was a big thing with Bittenbinder, throwing pedophiles off their rhythm. “He’s not gonna know how to fight back with two little sneakers coming at him.” [audience laughing] “If the Lindbergh baby had steel-toe boots, he’d still be alive today. Street Smarts!”

Yeah, he was not a “spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down” kind of guy. He was more like, “Brush your teeth. Now, boom, orange juice. That’s life.” Bittenbinder, he didn’t want us to not get kidnapped. He wanted us to almost get kidnapped and then fight the guy off using weird, psych-out, back-room Chicago violence. Like here’s what he wanted to see on the news. “We’re here with seven-year-old John Mulaney who fended off a kidnapper earlier today. How did you do it, John?” [imitating heavy Chicago accent] “Well, thank ya for askin’. I used the Bittenbinder method. When I saw the perp approachin’, I chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer I carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like I had rabies. Now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm. Then I reach into his jacket pocket where I had planted a gram of coke and I went, ‘Whoa! What the fuck is this?’ And he goes, ‘That’s not mine. I never seen that before.’ I go, ‘Boo-hoo, it’s in your jacket. You’re doing two to ten and your kids are going into Social Services.’ Now he’s cryin’! Then I grab a telephone book and I beat him on the torso with it. ‘Cause as any Chicago cop will tell ya, a phone book doesn’t leave bruises.” “Well, that was seven-year-old John Mulaney, currently being sued for police brutality.”

[audience laughing]

Bittenbinder told me things that haunt me to this day. He came one year for assembly. He goes, “Okay, when you get kidnapped…” Not if, when. [audience laughing] “Okay, so when you get kidnapped, the place where the guy grabs ya, in the biz we call that the primary location. Okay. Your odds of coming back alive from the primary location, about 60%. But if you are taken to a secondary location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to none.” I am 35 years old and I am still terrified of secondary locations. If I’m at a place, I never want to go to another place. I’ll be at a wedding reception and someone’ll be like, “You coming to the hotel bar after? We’re all gonna get drinks and keep the party going.” I’m like, “Nah, sister. You’re not getting me to no secondary location. You want it? Go get it!” Street Smarts! Stay alert out there. I thought I was going to be murdered my entire childhood. In high school people were like, “What are your top three colleges?” I was like, “Top three colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”

I went to college. For the whole time. Holy shit, right? I just got a letter from my college, which was fun ’cause mail, you know? So I open up the letter and they said, “Hey, John, it’s college. You remember?” I say, “Yes, of course.” And they said… How did they phrase it? They said, “Give us some money!”

[audience laughing]

“As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money.” I found this peculiar. You see, what had happened, New York, was that when I was a student, I had paid them tuition money. Every semester, two semesters a year, for four years. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but rounding up, back in 1999 dollars, it was about $15,000 a semester, two semesters a year, for four years. So it was about $30,000 a year for four years. So it was about $120,000, okay? So roughly speaking, I gave my college about $120,000. Okay, so you might say that I already gave them $120,000 and now you have the audacity to ask me for more money. What kind of a cokehead relative…

[audience cheering]

What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You spent it already? I gave you more money than the Civil War cost and you fucking spent it already? Where’s my money? I felt like Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life when he’s screaming at his uncle Billy. [as Jimmy Stewart] “Where’s the money? Where’s that money, you fat motherfucker? Where’s my money? Stay down on the ground, you motherfucker!” That’s not the dialogue. But do you remember that scene from It’s a Wonderful Life? Great movie, Frank Capra, 1946. A hundred and twenty thousand dollars! I have friends I went to college with and they’re like, “You should donate and be a good alumnus.” And they wear shirts that say “school” and it’s like, look… if you’re an adult still giving money to your college, college is a $120,000 hooker and you are an idiot who fell in love with her. She’s not going to do anything else for you. It’s done. In their letter they were like, “Hey, it’s been a while since you’ve given us money.” I was like, “Hey, it’s been a while since you’ve housed and taught me. I thought our transaction was over. I gave you $120,000 and you gave me a weird cinder block room with a Reservoir Dogs poster on it and the first real heartbreak of my life, and probably HPV, and then we called it a day.” Probably.

[audience laughing]

Also, what did I get for my money? What is college? [babbles] [audience laughing] Stop going until we figure it out. Because I went to college, I have no idea what it was. I went to college, I was 18 years old, I looked like I was 11. I lived like a goddamn Ninja Turtle. I didn’t drink water the entire time. I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and Adderall. College was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep? But instead of winning money, you lose $120,000. By the way, I agreed to give them $120,000 when I was 17 years old. With no attorney present. That’s illegal. They tricked me. They tricked me like Brendan Dassey on Making a Murderer. They tricked me like poor Brendan. They pulled me out of high school. I was in sweatpants, all confused. Two guys in clip-on ties are like, “Come on, son, do the right thing. Sign here and be an English major.” And I was like, “Okay.” Yes, you heard me, an English major. -I paid $120,000. -[audience cheering] How dare you clap? How dare you clap for the worst financial decision I ever made in my life? I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t.

[audience laughing]

That’s the worst use of 120 grand I can possibly fathom. Other than if you, like, bought a duffel bag of fake cocaine. No, I take it back. That’s a better use of the money, ’cause I know you’d be disappointed when you open up the duffel bag and you realize it’s not real cocaine, it’s like powdered baby aspirin or whatever they do. But at least you have baby aspirin. And maybe you have a baby and one day your baby goes, “Oh, my head,” and you go, “Hey, I’ve got something for you! Come here, little guy.” And you dump it out on a mirror. You make it nice for the baby. You make it nice. You cut it up into lines with your laundry card or whatever and you make it nice, and your baby takes his sippy-cup straw and he holds it in his little ravioli-sized baby fist and he leans over– [snorts] and he snorts up the baby aspirin, and he gets rid of his baby headache, plus you get a duffel bag! [audience laughing] That is way better than walking across a stage at graduation, hungover, in a gown, to accept a certificate for reading books that I didn’t read.

[audience laughing]

Strolling across a stage, the sun in my eyes, my family watching as I sweat vodka and ecstasy, to receive a four-year degree in a language that I already spoke.

[audience cheering]

I don’t mean to sound down on donating. [chuckles] It’s good to give to charities, you know. My wife and I just gave a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. We were moving apartments, we had a bunch of clothes and furniture, so we made a whole day out of it. We made these big piles of clothes, we put the piles into these big boxes, then we put the boxes into the back of my car, and then they stayed there for four months. And then one day my wife said, “Hey, you took that stuff to Goodwill, right?” And I said, “Of course I did! On an unrelated note, I’m going to walk out the front door right now.” So then I had to speed to Goodwill really fast. It was charitable, but it was also fast and violent, because I was throwing boxes at people. The boxes were so heavy I couldn’t even say what was in them. I was like, “This one’s shirts. I got a bunch of shirts! Take ’em away!” The guy tried to give me a big receipt. He’s like, “Take this receipt for the clothing for your taxes.” How do I write that on my taxes? “Dear IRS, please deduct from my federal income tax one XXL Billabong T-shirt from youth. It was too big. My mom said it could be a sleep shirt. Please deduct this from my 2017 income.” That sleep shirt bullshit. “Well, if it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep shirt.” No, I get that, Mom, but why don’t we just tell our relatives that I’m a four-year-old boy and I don’t wear a man’s XXL T-shirt? “Because we don’t say that when someone gives us a gift because that would not be polite.” Oh, I get it. So rather than violate these meaningless politeness rules, I’ll just go to bed in a smock like goddamn Ebenezer Scrooge. Why don’t you give me a candle for looking in the mirror and a floppy hat and I’ll tremble off to bed in my long Victorian nightgown? Was there ever even a ghost, Mother, or was the dead Victorian girl you saw just me all along?

[audience cheering]

So that’s why you can’t give to charity. I’m kidding.

I like to throw an “I’m kidding” at the ends of jokes now, in case the jokes are ever played in court. You ever heard a joke played in court? Never goes well. They’re like, “‘And that’s why you shouldn’t give… to charity.’ Is that something you find funny, Mr. Mulaney?” Um… at the time. [chuckles] I found out recently that jokes don’t do well in court. So, some friends of mine were sued in college for property damage. And they were guilty. And the lawsuit dragged on for years and years and eventually I got a call when I was 28 years old. It was my friend from college, he said, “Hey, that lawsuit with my neighbor is still dragging on and my neighbor just subpoenaed all my emails from college that mention him or the lawsuit.” And I said, “That’s crazy. But why are you calling me?” And he said, “Because you should be concerned.”

[audience laughing]

He said, “I have an email here from junior year where I wrote, ‘Hey, guys, I’m going to miss practice tonight because I have to meet with my neighbor about that lawsuit thing.’ And you replied, ‘Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you. Okay. See you at improv practice.'”

[audience laughing]

Of all the sentences in that email I would be ashamed to have read out loud in a court of law, I think the top one is “See you at improv practice.”

Strange, the passage of time. I’m not that old. I’m 35, that is not old. But I am in a new phase right before old called “gross.”

[audience laughing]

I never knew about this, but I am now gross. I am damp all the time. I am damp now and I will be damp later. [chuckles] Like the back of a dolphin, my back. I am slick. The butt part of my pants is a little damp a lot and I don’t think it’s anything serious… but isn’t it, though? And… I’ll be sitting at a restaurant and I’ll get up and I’ll be like, “What did I sit in?” And it was me. I’m gross now. I’ve been talking through burps. I never used to do this. When I was a kid and I wanted to burp, I’d be like, “Silence!” Blagh! Now I’m trying to push ’em down and muscle through ’em. I’ll be at dinner, just doing the bread and the seltzer, filling up like a hot air balloon, and then I’m like… [belches] “Did you say you were going to Italy? Because we have a travel– She has a travel agent if– [exhales] I’m going to the kitchen, does anyone need anything? From the… [belches] Anyone need anything?” Just take a pause, John! I’m gross. I have hair on my shoulders now. I don’t even have a joke for that. That’s how much I hate that shit.

[audience laughing]

I was sitting up in bed a few weeks ago like… [groans] You know, life. And my wife was rubbing my shoulders, which was very nice of her, but then she started singing to herself. “Monkey, monkey, monkey man.”

[audience laughing]

“Monkey, monkey, monkey man.” Not at me. Not to be mean. This was a song from deep in her subconscious. I don’t even think she was aware she was singing it. But it was certainly not the first time she had sung it. I don’t know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room.

[audience laughing]

And it’s not getting any better. I’m 35, but I’m still like, “Hey, when am I going to get big and strong?” This is it. It’s just going to be this. I’m like an iPhone, it’s going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. As I get older, it’s tough to not get grumpy. It’s tempting. I get grumpy about some things. Like, I can’t listen to any new songs because every new song is about how tonight is the night and how we only have tonight. That is such 19-year-old horseshit. I want to write songs for people in their 30s called “Tonight’s No Good, How About Wednesday? Oh, You’re in Dallas on Wednesday? Okay. Well, Let’s Just Not See Each Other for Eight Months And It Doesn’t Matter at All.”

[audience cheering]

I’m trying to stay nice though, because when I was a kid, I was raised that you should be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. But now, at the end of my life, I don’t know, because a lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. Or maybe they have different definitions of what it means to be nice. That’s something you figure out as you get older and meet new people. Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. You learn that especially when you get jobs. I had a very weird job in my mid-20s for about four and a half years. I was a writer right across the street over at Saturday Night Live. It was very exciting. Yeah.

[audience cheering]

It was great. I loved it. If you haven’t seen the show, you gotta check it out.

They have a host and a musical guest. Oh, my God, you’re going to love it. Real quick tangent. Okay, my favorite host ever introducing a musical guest was this. The host was Sir Patrick Stewart, the great Sir Patrick Stewart, and this is how he introduced the musical guest. “Ladies and gentlemen, Salt-N-Pepa!”

[audience laughing]

Like he was surprised by Pepa. Like minutes before they’d been, “Sir Patrick, we can’t find Pepa anywhere.” And he’s like, “If we must go on with Salt alone, we will go on with Salt alone!” And they were like, “Three, two, one,” and Pepa burst through the door and he’s like, “Ladies and gentlemen, Salt and… what’s this? Pepa!”

Famous people are weird as shit. They’re all weird. Your suspicions are correct. And they would all come in to Saturday Night Live and they’d have to meet with me because I was a little rat writer and they’d have to talk about the sketches. They’d sit on my office couch that had like bed bugs and stuff. It was great. Like, they were famous, but it was my couch. It’d be like if you went into your childhood bedroom and Joe DiMaggio was sitting there. Yeah, he’s Joe DiMaggio, he’s a legend, he had sex with Marilyn Monroe, but only you know where the bathroom is.

[audience laughing]

Everyone always wants to know if famous people are nice. Like Mick Jagger. He came in to host the show. My friends were all like, “Is he nice?” No! Or maybe he is… for his version of life. Because he has a very different life. He’s Mick Jagger. That’s his name. He’s played to stadiums of 20,000 people cheering for him like he’s a god for 50 years. That must change you as a person. If you do that for 50 years, you’re never again going to be like, “Um, does anyone have a laptop charger I could borrow?” None of that bullshit way we all have to talk to get through life. [in plaintive voice] “Hi. Knock, knock. Sorry.” That’s how I walk into rooms. I am 35 years old, I am six feet tall. I lower myself, I go, “Hi. Knock, knock.” I say “knock, knock” out loud. Mick Jagger didn’t talk like that. Mick Jagger talked like this. He’d go, “Yes! No! Yes!” I pitched him a joke and he went, “Not funny!”

[audience laughing]

I mean, people say that on the internet, but never to your face does a British billionaire in leather pants go, “Not funny!” I spent two hours alone with Mick Jagger that week. We were writing song lyrics, it was for a fake song in a comedy sketch. And he was sitting there, and we came to one point and he goes, “All right, ‘Let’s all go to the picnic, let’s all have a drink.’ Let’s see, what rhymes with drink?” And I said… “Think?” And Mick Jagger said, “No!”

[audience laughing]

And then I said, “Sink?” And Mick Jagger said… “Yeah!” And I was like, “Motherfucker, is this how you write songs? Just one word at a time with verbal abuse?” “All right, ‘I can’t get no…'” -Happiness? -“No!” -Satisfaction? -“Yeah! All right! Next sentence! Space bar. Indent. Space bar.” Mick Jagger would go like this, “Diet Coke!” And one would appear in his hand. Now that’s not nice, right? The way I was raised, you’re supposed to say, “May I please have a Diet Coke, please?” And then maybe you will get one. And I bet all of you were taught to say please and thank you. But if all of us could go, “Diet Coke!” and one would appear in our hand, we’d do it all day long. Even if you don’t like Diet Coke, you’d just summon ’em so you could chuck ’em at oncoming cars.

Famous people are often rude because they’re used to getting things really quickly. I bet a lot of us are pretty polite. But as soon as we get things quickly, we start to get ruder and ruder. Look at technology, it’s faster than ever and we’re ruder than ever. People walk around on the phone now, “Hello? You still there? Lost him.” And that’s it. No follow-through with that guy. Fifty years ago, if you were on the telephone with your friend and suddenly the line just went dead, that meant your friend was murdered. The phone used to be a big deal. It was a long, polite process. Back in the 1940s, the phone was like a wood box… with a thing on it. I don’t know. It had its own room. You’d go, “That’s the phone’s room!” And it was expensive. You’d wait all week to make your call. “It’s almost Tuesday!” And then you’d take the cup on the string or whatever… There weren’t even numbers. You’d just go, “Hello? Anyone? [yells] Anyone in the world?” Then you’d go, “Operator, ring me Neptune 5-117.” And the operator was a real person that you had to be nice to. She’d be like, “One moment, please. I’m putting wires into a board filled with holes to move the voices around, ’cause it is the ’40s.” And it took like 90 minutes. Now people just drive around screaming at their phones like… -Call home! -“Calling the mobile for Tom.” Not fucking Tom! [imitating Mick Jagger] Not funny!

[audience laughing]

Everything was slower back in the old days ’cause they didn’t have enough to do, so they had to slow things down to fill the time. I don’t know if you read history, but back then people would wake up and go, “God, it’s the old times.”

[audience laughing]

“Shit, I gotta wear all those layers. There’s no Zyrtec or nothing. Okay, we gotta… We gotta think of some weird slow activities to fill the day.” And they did. Have you ever seen old film from the past of people just waving at a ship? [audience laughing] What if I called you now to do that? Hey, what are you doing Monday at 10:00 a.m.? All right, there’s a Norwegian Cruise Line leaving for Martinique. Here’s my plan, you and me get very dressed up, including hats, and then we wave handkerchiefs at it until it disappears over the horizon. No, I don’t know anyone on the ship.

[audience laughing]

Everything is too fast now and totally unreasonable. The world is run by computers, the world is run by robots and we spend most of our day telling them that we’re not a robot just to log on and look at our own stuff. All day long. May I see my stuff, please? [grumbles] “I smell a robot. Prove, prove, prove. Prove to me you’re not a robot. Look at these curvy letters. Much curvier than most letters, wouldn’t you say? No robot could ever read these. You look, mortal, if ye be. You look and then you type what you think you see. Is it an “E” or is it a “3”? That’s up to ye. The passwords of past you’ve correctly guessed, but now it’s time for the robot test! I’ve devised a question no robot could ever answer. Which of these pictures does not have a stop sign in it?” Fucking what?

[audience cheering]

You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t want to walk into the ocean.

I just like old-fashioned things. I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff.

[audience cheering]

Yeah. One day… Well, it doesn’t matter why, but I was sitting in a gazebo, and…

[audience laughing]

there was a plaque on the gazebo and it said, “This gazebo was built by the town in 1863.” That is in the middle of the Civil War. And the whole town built a gazebo. What was that town meeting like? “All right, everyone, first order of business, we have all the telegrams from Gettysburg with the war dead. Let’s see here. Okay, everyone’s husband and brother and… everyone died. Okay. Josiah, you had something?” “Yes, I do. How’d you like to be indoors and out of doors all at once? Ever walk into the park with your betrothed and it starts to rain, but you still want to hold hands? Well, may I introduce you to, and my condolences again to everyone, the gazebo!” [audience laughing] Building a gazebo during the Civil War, that’d be like doing stand-up comedy now.

[audience laughing and applauding]

Yes. Thank you for clapping at my political gazebo material. I’m very brave.

I’ve never really cared about politics. Never talked about ’em much. But then, last November, the strangest thing happened.

[audience laughing]

Now, I don’t know if you’ve been following the news, but I’ve been keeping my ears open and it seems like everyone everywhere is super-mad about everything all the time. I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky.

Here’s how I try to look at it, and this is just me, this guy being the president, it’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital. It’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital. I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a horse loose in the hospital. It’s never happened before, no one knows what the horse is going to do next, least of all the horse. He’s never been in a hospital before, he’s as confused as you are. There’s no experts.

[audience cheering]

They try to find experts on the news. They’re like, “We’re joined now by a man that once saw a bird in the airport.” Get out of here with that shit! We’ve all seen a bird in the airport. This is a horse loose in a hospital.

When a horse is loose in a hospital, you got to stay updated. So all day long you walk around, “What’d the horse do?” The updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “The horse used the elevator?”

[audience laughing]

I didn’t know he knew how to do that. [audience laughing] The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the horse at all. [audience laughing] You’re down in the operating room like, “Hey, has anyone…”

[audience laughing]

“Has anyone heard–” [imitates clopping hooves] Those are those quiet days when people are like, “It looks like the horse has finally calmed down.” And then ten seconds later the horse is like, “I’m gonna run towards the baby incubators and smash ’em with my hooves. I’ve got nice hooves and a long tail, I’m a horse!” That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking horse.

And then…

[audience cheering]

Then… Then you go to brunch with people and they’re like, “There shouldn’t be a horse in the hospital.” And it’s like, “We’re well past that.” Then other people are like, “If there’s gonna be a horse in the hospital, I’m going to say the N-word on TV.” And those don’t match up at all. And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the horse, and then, 5,000 miles away, a hippo was like, “I have a nuclear bomb and I’m going to blow up the hospital!” And before we could say anything, the horse was like, “If you even fucking look at the hospital, I will stomp you to death with my hooves. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can stomp you with my hooves, I’m so fucking crazy.” “You think you’re fucking crazy, I’m a fucking hippopotamus. I live in a fucking lake of mud. I’m fucking crazy.” And all of us are like, “Okay.” Like poor Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions. “Okay.” And then, for a second, we were like, “Maybe the horse-catcher will catch the horse.” And then the horse is like, “I have fired the horse-catcher.”

[audience laughing]

He can do that? That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the horse is. I don’t remember that in Hamilton.

[audience laughing]

Sometimes, if you make fun of the horse, people will get upset. These are the people that opened the door for the horse. I don’t judge anyone. But sometimes I ask people. I go, “Hey, how come you opened the door for the horse?” And they go, “Well, the hospital was inefficient!” [audience laughing] Or sometimes they go, “If you’re so mad at the horse, how come you weren’t mad when the last guy did this three and a half years ago? You’re beating up on the horse when the last guy essentially did the same thing five years ago.” First off, get out of here with your facts. You’re like the kid at the sleepover who, after midnight, is like, “It’s tomorrow now!” Get the fuck out of here with your technicalities. Just ’cause you’re accurate does not mean you’re interesting. That was fun when we watched Beetlejuice tonight. “Don’t you mean last night? It’s after midnight.” Why don’t you get your sleeping bag and get out of my house! Take your EpiPen, take your goddamn EpiPen and get out of my house!

But when people say, “How come you were never mad at the last guy?” I say, “Because I wasn’t paying attention.” I used to pay less attention before it was a horse. Also, I thought the last guy was pretty smart, and he seemed good at his job, and I’m lazy by nature. [audience cheering] I’m lazy by nature too. So I don’t check up on people when they seem okay at their job. You may think that’s an ignorant answer but it’s not, it’s a great answer. If you left your baby with your mother tonight, you’re not going to race home and check the nanny cam. But if you leave your baby with Gary Busey…

[audience laughing]

And now there’s Nazis again.

[audience laughing]

When I was a kid Nazis was just an analogy you would use to decimate your child during an argument at the dinner table. [audience laughing] Now there’s new Nazis. I don’t care for these new Nazis and you may quote me on that. These new Nazis, “Jews are the worst, Jews ruin everything, and Jews try to take over your life.” It’s like, “You know what, motherfucker? My wife is Jewish. I know all that, how do you know all that?”

[audience laughing]

I’m allowed to make fun of my wife. I asked her and she said yes. [audience laughing] I’ve been married for about three and a half years now -and I was going out on tour…

[cheering]

Thank you very much. And I love and respect my wife very much. So I said to her, “We’ve been married for three and a half years.” And she knew that. I said, “Do you mind if I still make fun of you on stage? And my wife said, “Yeah, you can make fun of me. But just don’t say that I’m a bitch and that you don’t like me.” I was like, “The bar is so much lower than I ever imagined. That’s it?” Also, I wouldn’t say that. What kind of show would that even be? Hello. My wife is a bitch! And I don’t like her! That’s like a support group for men in crisis, with keynote speakers Jon Voight and Alec Baldwin.

[audience laughing]

Also, I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

[audience cheering]

She is a dynamite, five-foot, Jewish bitch and she’s the best. She and I have totally different styles. When my wife walks down the street, she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her in any situation. She’s my hero. When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. My wife said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who’s running for mayor of nothing.

[audience laughing]

My wife and I went to Best Buy to get a TV. We didn’t end up getting the TV. I was afraid that the Best Buy guy was going to be mad at me, so I bought an HDMI cable.

[audience laughing]

I go to the register with Anna, my wife’s name Anna, she’s standing next to me, I hand the guy the HDMI cable. He takes it, he scans it, he says, “Do you have a Best Buy Rewards card?” And I said, “No, I wish!”

[audience laughing]

And then my wife said, “Jesus Christ!” And fully walked away from me. Walked all the way to the laser printers and just stood there, Blair Witch style. And I’m still up at the register like…

[audience laughing]

And the guy goes, “Do you want a Best Buy Rewards card?” And I said, “No.” Even though I had just said it was my greatest wish in life. I was hoping he’d believe me, that it was secretly my great wish but that I’m in an abusive marriage with little Miss Jesus Christ over here so I can’t ask for the things I want in public but at home, at night, we argue about it and I’m like, “You’ll see! One day I’m going to leave you and I’m going to get that Best Buy Rewards card.” She’s like, “Jesus Christ, you’re never going to get that Best Buy Rewards card!”

My wife is Jewish, as I said, I was raised Catholic. We have differences in our religious upbringings and we realized this recently. Not with our kids, because we don’t have any kids. People always ask us, “Are you going to have kids?” and we say no. And then they go, “Never? You’re never going to have kids?” Look, I don’t know “never.” Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change.

[audience laughing]

But we don’t have any kids now and it’s great. We have a dog though. We have a four-year-old French bulldog. Her name is Petunia.

[audience cheering]

The idea of people applauding for that little monster. Just… I mean, I would never tell her that you applauded. It would go right to her ego, that little monster who just rubs her vulva on the carpet while staring at me in the eye. [imitates dog snarling] I know her vulva itches and she needs to rub it, but the thumping of the back paws… It’s upsetting. I’m just kidding. I love Petunia very much. She’s one of my most favorite people I’ve ever met in my life. Petunia likes to be very social but she can’t walk very far because she has a flat face, so she can’t breathe by design. But she wants to go out and meet people but we can’t walk her for that long. Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that we bought a stroller for our dog.

[audience laughing]

My wife and I walk around New York City pushing Petunia the French bulldog in a stroller, and it’s a big stroller and it has a big black hood. And people lean in to see the baby.

[audience laughing]

And instead they see a gargoyle breathing like Chris Christie. [imitates dog snarling] Her paws are sweating. We’re like, “He’s sick.” [chuckles]

But religion came up with Petunia recently. My wife and I were talking about cute things that Petunia could be involved in. And I said, “What if we got like a Biblical painting done with Petunia in it?” And my wife is like, “That would be so cute. We should do like The Last Supper.” And I was like, “Oh, my God, that would be so cute. We should do all different French Bulldogs as the different Apostles.” And my wife was like, “We should have Petunia in the middle where Jesus is, in front of the turkey.” And I was like, “Wait, what did you just say?”

[audience laughing]

“Did you say the turkey?” And my wife said, “Yeah, why?” And I said… I said, “Would you just answer me one question? Do you think that in da Vinci’s The Last Supper that Jesus of Nazareth is sitting in front of a turkey?”

[audience laughing]

And my wife said, “Yes, I do,” and I said, “Thank you for your honesty. Would you just– Just one more follow-up question. So then what do you think they’re celebrating?” [audience laughing] “What do you think… those guys are celebrating?” She said, “Okay, I don’t get this shit because I wasn’t raised Catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked-up organization.” I said, “No. We all know that.”

[audience laughing]

“But what do you think those guys are celebrating?” And my wife looked at the floor. And then she looked at me and said, “Thanksgiving.”

[audience laughing]

My family went to church every Sunday when I was a kid. My wife cannot believe this. She’s like, “You went every Sunday?” -“Yes.” -“What if you were out of town?” I was like, “They have them out of town.” I don’t know if you grew up going to church and now you don’t, but it can be a weird existence. Because I like to make fun of it all day long, but then if someone like Bill Maher says, “Who would believe in a man up in the sky?” I’m like, “My mommy, so shut the fuck up!”

[audience cheering]

“Stop calling my mommy dumb.” If you grew up going to church and you have adult friends that didn’t, they have a lot of questions. “Wait, so they forced you to go?” Yeah, I was five, I was forced to go everywhere. No kid is just going to church. Riding by on his Huffy, like, “Whoa! What’s this place? A weird Byzantine temple with green carpeting where everyone has bad breath and I wear clothes that I hate on one of the mornings of my two days off? Let’s do this.”

[audience laughing]

But people get very suspicious. They’re like, “What did they say in there? What do they do? What did they tell you?” I don’t know, it was an hour. That should be the slogan for the Catholic church. “It’s an hour!” It’s a few stories, normally about a guy with a crazy name whose wife has a normal name. “In that town lives Zepheriuses and his wife Rachel.” How come she gets to be Rachel? “On their way to Galilee, Jesus met Enos and Barak and their wives, Kylie and Lauren.” And you’re like, “What? That’s the same joke twice.”

[audience laughing]

Then there’s the homily. If you’re not Catholic, the homily is when the priest does a book report that is also stand-up comedy.

[audience laughing]

It normally begins with a charming anecdote that is fake and never happened. “A woman was at a shopping mall with her young son.” What was the woman’s name? Hey, Father, what was the name of the shopping mall? Your story doesn’t have a lot of details. You only had a week to work on it and you’ve had the book for 2,000 years.

[audience laughing]

And then there’s some songs normally sung by an usher. One of these ushers that opens the door for you and gives you the pamphlet and they all look like Marco Rubio.

[audience laughing]

That guy will get up and sing into the microphone. He’s not a singer… ’cause he’s not good at it. But he tries. He sings the Psalms. Remember the Psalms? They’re not songs ’cause they don’t rhyme and they’re not good. They’re perfectly named, they’re not quite songs, they’re Psalms. It’s a word you’re meant to mishear. “I’m gonna sing a Psalm today.” What’s that? You’re gonna sing a song? “Yeah. It’s a Psalm.” And then these guys get up in front of everyone and they’re like…

♪ The bread of God is bread ♪ ♪ He will bring us bread ♪ ♪ No one but the one from Jericho ♪ ♪ Can bring bread to bread ♪

And then the guy goes like this. [audience laughing] And that means we’re supposed to sing our lines, except we don’t know our lines for shit. Where’s that pamphlet? Where’s that pamphlet they gave us? Move the jackets. Ah-ha-ha!

♪ The bread of bread is bread ♪ ♪ Bread is God is bread ♪

It’s just dads singing so loud, thinking that’ll somehow get their kids to sing.

♪ Bread is God is bread ♪ ♪ Is God is bread ♪ ♪ Is God is bread… ♪

“Sing, goddamn it!” My dad once grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up during church and said, “God can’t hear you.”

[audience laughing]

Goodnight, New York. Thank you very much.

[audience cheering]

[“Lithium” playing on organ]

[organist and audience singing “Lithium” chorus]

[audience cheering]

#omg im lame #ajsdhfkajshdf #comeback kid

2 notes · View notes

marlonazz · 4 years

Text

3 Big Questions from The Boy in Struped Pyjamas (ANSWERED)

Should we protect our child’s innocence forever?

Yes we should protect our child’s innocence forever, but the key word is child. As your son or daughter gets older their innocence begins to wither away, and they begin to recognize the responsibilities they have in order to live a life. But solely for children, we should protect their innocence for as long as you can, or forever as a child. We should protect their innocence because children only have one chance at their innocence. This is their one chance to be young and silly and have a carefree childhood. If you take that away from them, then they begin to worry about things that shouldn’t concern them. We all want the best for our children and if they could experience a carefree childhood that would mean the world to them because as they grow older they will feel nostalgic feelings and be proud of the past that they live in. For Shmuel a character in the novel The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas, is a Jewish Child who was living in a concentration camp. He had his innocence taken away from him at such an early age and he began to worry about things that a child shouldn’t have to worry about. 'I'm just supposed to be cleaning the glasses,' he said, looking at the bowl of water in front of him in despair and then looking back at the slices of chicken that Bruno held out to him. 'He's not going to mind,' said Bruno, who was confused by how anxious Shmuel seemed. 'It's only food.' (page 170) 'I can't,' said Shmuel, shaking his head and looking as if he was going to cry. 'He'll come back, I know he will,' he continued, his sentences running quickly together. 'I should have eaten them when you offered them, now it's too late, if I take them he'll come in and—' This quote shows how Shmuel’s innocence has been damaged because he has to worry about Lieutenant Kotler. Lieutenant Kotler is a German soldier and he assigned Shmuel a task with cleaning glass. If Lieutenant Kotler catches him eating while on the job he won’t take it so lightly and he didn’t with a quote. Lieutenant Kotler reappeared in the kitchen and stopped when he saw the two boys talking. Bruno stared at him, feeling the atmosphere grow heavy, sensing Shmuel's shoulders sinking down as he reached for another glass and began polishing. Ignoring Bruno, Lieutenant Kotler marched over to Shmuel and glared at him. (page 171) 'What are you doing?' he shouted. 'Didn't I tell you to 105 polish those glasses?' Shmuel nodded his head quickly and started to tremble a little as he picked up another napkin and dipped it in the water. 'Who told you that you were allowed to talk in this house?' continued Kotler. 'Do you dare to disobey me?' This quote shows how awful Lieutenant Kotler was and shows how fearful Shmuel was and what he had to worry about. If Shmuel were to survive through this and he made it to the age of a young adult, do you think he’s going to have a great memory of his past. Probably not, since he lived in fear and slavery throughout his childhood, unless he digs deep down into his past from when he was in Poland. That’s why it is important to protect a child’s innocence for as long as you can, so that they will not be affected by a bad past in a negative way.

Should we help people even though they are associated with the opposition?

Yes, there is no reason not to help out someone unless they’ve done something to prevent you from helping them. In the novel The Boy in Striped Pyjamas, Bruno decides to help a Jewish child Shmuel who is in Auschwitz. He does this by giving him food when he visits him at the fence. 'I'm sorry I'm late,' he said, handing some of the bread and cheese through the wire - the bits that he hadn't already eaten on the way when he had grown a little peckish after all. 'I was talking to Maria.' Bruno decided to help out Shmuel even though Bruno is German and Shmuel was Jewish. Jewish people and Germans were oppositions at the time but even though they were oppositions Bruno and Shmuel didn’t see themselves as oppositions but rather as friends and one who needs help. There was no reason not to help Shmuel as Bruno recognized he was struggling and asking for food in this quote. He didn't want to ask the next question but the pains in his stomach made him. "You don't have any food on you, do you?' he asked. But these are kids, they don’t recognize themselves as oppositions, they only recognize themselves as kid to kid not Jewish to German or opposition to each other. However, adults can recognize if they’re in opposition with each other. Pavel, a Jewish man who served Bruno’s family as vegetable peeler and waiter, and Bruno’s mother who is German helped one another. Pavel helped Bruno’s mother by tending to her son Bruno after he had an accident on a tire swing. Pavel cleaned the wound of blood and then held another cloth to it quite tightly for a few minutes. When he pulled it away again, gently, the bleeding had stopped, and he took a small bottle of green liquid from the first-aid box and dabbed it over the wound, which stung quite sharply and made Bruno say 'Ow' a few times in rapid succession. After his mother saw Bruno she told Pavel that she would take the credit so Pavel wouldn’t have to deal with Germans possibly punishing Bruno for helping a German. He turned and left the room but was still able to hear Mother saying thank you to Pavel as he walked towards the stairs, and this made Bruno happy because surely it was obvious to everyone that if it hadn't been for him, he would have bled to death. He heard one last thing before going upstairs and that was Mother's last line to the waiter who claimed to be a doctor. 'If the Commandant asks, we'll say that I cleaned Bruno up.' That’s why we should help people even if they are associated with the opposition because they might just help us back by giving us true friendship or saving your life.

How does racism affect our society?

Racism has a very large impact and causes a major effect in our society. It causes innocent people to be hurt in the crossfire of racism due to their race. For example, there is one part in the novel where Bruno and Shmuel, two innocent children are forced to march into a gas chamber where they are eventually executed. For what reason can only be explained by racism. Racism caused these two innocent children to die because of Shmuel’s race. Shmuel in the novel is a Jewish child and is in the setting of World War II. During this time the Germans hated the Jewish people which is racism. Because of this hatred that the Germans had against the Jewish people they were executing them and performing heinous acts on them. Shmuel was an innocent Jewish child. Bruno, an innocent German child who befriended Shmuel was caught in the crossfire of the race war the Germans and Jewish people had caused them both to be executed. Racism also causes our children’s innocence to be destroyed earlier than it needs to be. Shmuel and Bruno, while both innocent, Bruno seems to be the one who had kept his innocence throughout the story. Bruno hadn’t lost his innocence throughout most of the novel. This is evident when Bruno shows a lack of empathy when Shmuel tells his struggles and tries to compare the two’s struggles or tells him how easily the struggle could’ve been solved. For example,'The train was horrible,' said Shmuel. 'There were too many of us in the carriages for one thing. And there was no air to breathe. And it smelled awful.' 'That's because you all crowded onto one train,' said Bruno, remembering the two trains he had seen at the station when he left Berlin. 'When we came here, there was another one on (page 130) the other side of the platform but no one seemed to see it. That was the one we got. You should have got on it too.' 'I don't think we would have been allowed,' said Shmuel, shaking his head. 'We weren't able to get out of our carriage.' 'The doors are at the end,' explained Bruno. 'There weren't any doors,' said Shmuel. 'Of course there were doors,' said Bruno with a sigh. 'They're at the end,' he repeated. 'Just past the buffet section.' 'There weren't any doors,' insisted Shmuel. 'If there had been, we would all have got off.' Bruno mumbled something under his breath along the lines of 'Of course there were', but he didn't say it very loud so Shmuel didn't hear. Shmuel as a Jewish child who before was innocent when he lived in Poland, has had his innocence damaged at an early age when the Germans struck. He lived at an age where your innocence should be protected and you don’t have to worry about the other things that make the world awful, but sadly he does have to worry and this is an example of him being worried about the world around him. 'I'm just supposed to be cleaning the glasses,' he said, looking at the bowl of water in front of him in despair and then looking back at the slices of chicken that Bruno held out to him. 'He's not going to mind,' said Bruno, who was confused by how anxious Shmuel seemed. 'It's only food.' (page 170) 'I can't,' said Shmuel, shaking his head and looking as if he was going to cry. 'He'll come back, I know he will,' he continued, his sentences running quickly together. 'I should have eaten them when you offered them, now it's too late, if I take them he'll come in and—' . That’s how racism affects our society as shown from the book.

2 notes · View notes

myownsuperintendent · 5 years

Text

New Fic: “Reunions” (1960s AU Part 7)

After summers spent apart, Mulder and Scully reunite. Of the other fics in this AU, this fic is most closely connected to “Summers of Love,” which is here; each section of “Reunions” takes place after the corresponding summer. Rated M for sexual content, also here on Ao3.

.....

1966

They were supposed to meet at noon, but Mulder got there a little early—not on purpose, really, it just happened. He didn’t have to wait very long, though; pretty soon he saw Dana coming towards him. He waved, and she waved back.

“Hi, Mulder,” she said when she came up to him. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting.”

“Oh, no, you didn’t,” he said. “Don’t worry.” She was wearing a dark blue dress; she was meeting him after she went to church, she’d said. He was wearing an old sweater and jeans. Usually he didn’t care at all about that kind of thing. Right now, he suddenly did. “Um…how was church?”

“Oh, it was fine,” she said. She pushed her hair back behind her ear. “Should we get lunch? There’s a place near here I sometimes go. Just sandwiches and things like that. If that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he said. “Lead the way.”

The place was just around the corner, and they settled into opposite sides of a booth. He watched her face over the menu. God, she was cute. It wasn’t as though he’d exactly forgotten that over the summer: it was hard to forget. But it hadn’t been so central, when they were just writing. It hadn’t been staring him in the face.

“How have you been?” Dana asked him, once they’d ordered. “Since the end of the summer, I mean.”

“Oh, I’ve been good,” he said. “Nothing too exciting.” He tried to think of what to tell her. “I saw Melissa the other day,” he said. “She said she was going to have some people over next weekend. Are you going to be there?”

Dana nodded. “She invited me and Monica. We’ll probably come.”

“That’s good,” he said. A little silence. “You’re moved back in now, right? Do you like your new dorm?”

“I do,” she said. “I’m with Monica and a couple of our other friends. We have more space than last year, so that’s nice. Our own kitchen and everything.”

“And what classes are you taking?” he said. He sounded like an idiot, he thought. He sounded like your friendly uncle who looks after you when you’re in a strange city and takes you out to lunch sometimes.

She told him about Physics II and her biology lab. Because she was brilliant. Well, he’d known that from her letters, anyway. That paper about Einstein she’d sent him, the one he’d read and reread. Who argued with Einstein their first year of college? Well, Dana Scully did.

And he’d known that she was kind, too. She’d told him that he could tell her about Samantha, and he had, and she’d written back like she understood. He hadn’t thought he’d get that kind of understanding from anyone, now.

And damn it, she was so cute.

They were silent again now, and he didn’t know what to say. It had been easy, writing to her. She’d always had something to say that he’d wanted to respond to, and he’d liked thinking that she felt the same; she always wrote back quickly, anyway. It had been easy, and he’d felt like they had a lot in common, even when they were on the opposite sides of a debate. But now, here in person, it wasn’t anywhere near as easy. He’d been wildly presumptuous, he decided. He was way out of his depth. He was way out of his league.

“I’m still reading The Art of Memory,” she said. “I really like it. Thanks for telling me about it.”

“Oh,” he said. “Oh, no problem.” It was his turn to ask a question now, he knew. He’d had a million things to say to her in his letters. Why couldn’t he think of even one now? “Um…how are your green curtains? The ones you were telling me about.” His turn to ask a really stupid question, apparently.

“Um…they’re fine,” she said. “They look nice in the room.” Another pause, probably not that long in reality, ten years long in his head. She didn’t have anything to say to him either. She was probably regretting being here, wondering why she’d ever agreed to have lunch. “Have you been reading anything good?”

“Nothing special,” he said. “Is there anything you’d recommend?”

She was quiet for a minute. “I can’t think of anything,” she said, “right now.”

When she said she’d better go, a small part of him was relieved, because it meant he wouldn’t have to come up with anything else to say. But most of him was furious—not with her, with himself. A good thing gone. He’d been stupid to think….he didn’t know what he’d thought.

He didn’t really want to go to Melissa’s, the next weekend, because it made him think about the whole fiasco again, but he went anyway, because Frohike had said he had some articles to show him. They were talking about the articles, arguing good-naturedly, when he heard the door open and close. “Hi, Missy!” he heard a voice saying. “I missed you this summer.”

“I missed you too, Dana!” He couldn’t help glancing over; she was there, hugging Melissa. Her back was to him, and he didn’t know if she’d seen him. He almost hoped she hadn’t. Then he wouldn’t have to stumble over things to say to her again. He turned his head quickly, before she could look around, and went back to talking to Frohike.

That didn’t work for long. Melissa came over and sat down on the couch next to them, either not realizing or not caring that they were in the middle of a conversation. “Hey, Mulder,” she said. “Did you see that your favorite person in the world is here?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. And he’d never claimed that Dana was his favorite person in the world.

“Yeah, you do,” Melissa said. “Dana. You’ve done nothing but talk about her and her letters all summer. Remember?”

“I haven’t done nothing but talk about her,” Mulder said. He liked Melissa, for the most part, but sometimes she got hold of something and wouldn’t let it die. And in this situation, that was really not helping.

“Sure,” Melissa said, grinning at him; on the other side of him, Frohike was grinning as well, which wasn’t helpful either. “Well, she’s here, anyway. I would have thought you’d be excited about that, is my point. Dana!” she called, before he could say anything else. “Did you see that Mulder’s here?” Dana was over at the table now, pouring herself a drink, but she turned at Melissa’s words. She looked like she was blushing a little, but maybe it was because it was hot in the room.

“Yes, I saw,” she said, walking over to them. “Hi, Mulder. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too,” he said, and tried to think of something more interesting to say, and failed utterly.

“Well, I’ll let you sit here, Dana,” Melissa said, getting up from the couch. “I’m sure you guys want to talk.”

“I also wanted to talk to you—” Dana began, but Melissa was already halfway across the room.

“We’ll talk later!” she shouted, and then she had disappeared into the kitchen. Mulder wondered if it would interfere with his commitment to non-violence if he killed Melissa. He wondered if, at this stage, killing her sister could possibly make things more uncomfortable between him and Dana.

“Well, hi,” Dana said.

“Hi,” he said. “How was your week?”

“Pretty good,” she said. “What about you?”

“Pretty good too,” he said.

She sipped at her drink. He sipped at his. Frohike was staring at them in an annoying way.

Mulder was wondering if he should make an excuse to leave her alone when she set her drink down on the table and turned to him. “I’m going to go sit on the fire escape,” she said. “You can come with me. I mean, if you’d like to.”

The fire escape—that was where they’d sat and talked the first few times they’d met, back at the end of the spring. Before the letters. When they’d first started learning a little bit about each other—when he’d decided that she was an interesting person, someone he wanted to write to. “Sure,” he said. “I’d like that.”

They made their way through Melissa’s room to the fire escape; it looked out on the wall of the next building, mostly, but you could see the sky too. Dana slipped through the window first, and Mulder followed her, taking a seat next to her, hoping he could efface whatever impression he’d made the other day.

She was the first one to speak, though. “I really liked writing with you this summer,” she said. “Getting your letters—it was so nice. But I think…maybe I was a little weird the other day. Just because it’s different, you know. Writing letters and talking in person. But I wouldn’t want you to think that I didn’t like talking to you. Because I did. I do.”

So cute and so smart and so much braver than him. But he could try his best. “I didn’t think you were weird,” he said. “I thought I was being the weird one. It was like you said—it was different. But I really like talking to you too.”

“Oh, good,” she said, and now she was smiling. “So we can keep talking, then?”

“Definitely,” he said. “I wouldn’t…I’d really miss it if we couldn’t.” He thought back to what they’d been talking about in their last letters. “So you’re liking the book?”

“Yeah!” she said. “I actually finished it on Wednesday. That last chapter…wow.”

“I thought you’d like it,” he said. “It made me think of you.” Was that a dumb thing to say?

It didn’t seem like it. “Thanks,” she said, smiling again. “That’s really sweet, Mulder.”

“She has another book that looks interesting too,” Mulder said. “About Giordano Bruno. I just got it at the library, but I haven’t started it yet.”

“That sounds good,” said Dana, although there was something in her voice that made him wonder if she was really paying attention. He looked at her inquiringly, and she shook her head. “Sorry. I am listening. It’s just…there’s something else too. I was…well, I was wondering…since we like writing to each other, and talking…and it’s always really interesting…” He hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn, but he was riveted now, wanting to know where it would lead. “I thought maybe…would you want to go out together sometime? If you’re into that kind of thing.”

“Sure, I’m into it,” he said. The words didn’t make him sound as bowled over, as thrilled, as he actually was. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe he didn’t want to come on too strong. No, screw that, he thought. This wasn’t some stranger. It was Dana, someone he knew so well—someone he’d been writing to all summer, someone he felt understood him, and he wanted her to know how exciting this sounded to him. “I mean, that sounds amazing,” he said. “I’d love to do that, Dana.”

“Really?” she said, and she almost looked shocked, and he wondered if she’d been thinking about him the same way he’d been thinking about her and feeling like it could never work out the way she wanted it to. That seemed kind of ridiculous to him, because she was amazing, and he figured she had to know it. But maybe it was true.

“Yeah, really,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about it too.”

She was definitely blushing this time, but she looked happy. “I was kind of nervous to ask you,” she said.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” he said. And then, because she’d been taking the initiative all evening and he figured it was time he did the same, now, he leaned in closer to her. Put his hand on her cheek. And she looked up at him with those blue eyes, and he closed the space between them, kissing her. And she kissed him back.

“Now I want to hear all about everything,” she said, when they pulled apart. “What you’ve been doing since we last wrote. And what you’ve been reading. And your latest theories about alien life.”

And they talked and talked, there on the fire escape, until she looked at her watch and said yikes, it was already eleven, she had to get back. He didn’t know how it had gotten to be that late, and she didn’t seem to either. He said he’d call her the next day, and she smiled and said she’d like that. And everything seemed right, then, and he didn’t even mind Melissa’s knowing look when they went back inside.

.....

1967

He practically smashed the buzzer when it rang, in his haste to let her into the building. He opened the door to his apartment then, and he could hear her coming up the last few stairs before he saw her, standing there at the end of the hall. And when she saw him too, there was that smile—the one she gave him when it was just the two of them, the one he’d missed so much this summer—and then she was running down the hall towards him. And he held out his arms, and when she was a few steps away she leapt up and threw her own arms around his neck, and he caught her up, held her close.

“Dana,” he murmured, in between kisses. “Dana.” Just her name, but now she was here, now she could hear him saying it again.

“Mulder,” she murmured back. “Mulder, I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he told her. “God, Dana, I love you…”

“Let’s go inside,” she said, and he nodded against her, carrying her back through the door to his apartment, kicking it firmly closed. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist, her body pressed to his. It was having an effect on him. Then she jumped down and said, “Mulder, I want to make love with you,” and that had an effect on him too.

“I want that too, Dana,” he said. “You’re sure?” He would be her first, he knew, and he wanted all this to happen at her pace. She’d told him she trusted him completely. He wouldn’t do anything to change that.

Not that he wasn’t very, very happy when she said, “Yes, I’m sure.” She stepped closer then, kissed him again. “I love you.” Another kiss. “And I want to be with you this way.” Another kiss. “And I did get that diaphragm, like I told you. And it wasn’t easy. And I have it in right now. So I’m not going to waste all that work.”

He laughed and kissed her back. “You’ll have to tell me the whole story in detail,” he said. “But later, okay? Because right now I want you so badly.” She nodded and took his hand, and he wasn’t sure who led whom, but in another minute they were lying together on his mattress, exploring each other with kisses and touches, getting reacquainted after a summer of torturous separation.

“Need to touch you,” she said, tugging at his shirt, and he shifted to help her get it off, and then she was running her hands along his chest, pressing kisses to bare skin. It felt even more wonderful than he’d remembered: he hadn’t touched her at all since he’d visited her at the lake, more than a month ago now, and even then they hadn’t been able to do as much as they would have liked, since her family was around. He needed this.

“Let me touch you too,” he said.

“Please,” she said; she was wearing a sundress that fastened down the back, and she turned so he could reach the buttons. He tried to concentrate on that, just undoing them one by one, but that was hard, when each one revealed another inch of her, and her skin was so soft and seemed made for him to kiss, so he did. Just lightly, on her back, but she sighed, a little breathy noise that he’d come to know well over the months of being with her, one that made him more turned on than anything. And then he had her dress off, and she was there in just her underwear, and she was too beautiful for him to think about anything else.

“You’re so gorgeous, Dana,” he told her. “Just so…I’ve never seen anything this beautiful.” She blushed; he could see the flush on her chest too, and now she might have been even more beautiful than she was a minute ago.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “You’re…you’re beautiful too, Mulder.” And he felt like it was true, when she said it. Then she reached out and started unfastening his jeans, and he reached for the clasp of her bra, and in another minute or two they were both naked, lying there. “Do you want to…what should we…?”

“Let’s go slow,” he said. “I want to make this good for you.” He knew she’d been cautious about taking this step; she’d told him from early on that she wanted to wait, and now that they were finally here he didn’t want her to be sorry. And honestly, he was feeling a bit cautious himself at the moment. It had been a while, for him. And he’d never been a girl’s first before, anyway, and it seemed like something you shouldn’t mess up. He’d probably be feeling a lot more nervous than he was, actually, if it wasn’t for how much he loved Dana, in a way he’d never loved anyone, and for the way she was looking at him now, somehow both shy and ridiculously sexy. He wanted her like crazy. And he wanted to make her happy.

He started by touching her breasts, which wasn’t new, at least, although it still felt about as exciting as discovering one of the secrets of the universe. Because it was her. Because it was Dana, and she was soft and sweet, and her eyes would get dark when she looked at him, and when he bent his head, kissed her there lightly and then more firmly, ran his tongue over a nipple and then sucked on it, she’d tug at his hair—he loved that about her, the way she grabbed his hair and pulled like she had absolutely no self-control—and gasp his name, “Mulder Mulder Mulder.” And right now she was shifting on the mattress as he touched her, rocking her hips, pressing against him, and oh God. He didn’t know if he could go slow.

She looked up at him, her face more flushed now, and then her hand was on his cock, and he jumped at her touch, groaning. “Jesus, Dana.”

“I’ve missed this,” she said, stroking him, tentatively for the first few seconds, then more firmly, finding a rhythm. It had been too long. “I thought about touching you all summer, Mulder. You don’t know how much.”

“I have…oh God…some idea,” he said. “From your letters…”

“I didn’t put everything in the letters, though,” she said. “I couldn’t have written to you every time I was thinking about you, Mulder. That would have been…it would have been impossible.”

“You’re still skeptical,” he said. “You should…be more open to extreme possibilities…oh God, Dana.” This was getting too one-sided, he decided, and he reached out to touch her too, sliding a hand up her thigh to stroke between her legs. This wasn’t entirely new either, but neither was it familiar; they’d done this for the first time on the last evening they’d spent together, back in May, right before she’d gone home to Maryland for the summer. And he’d replayed it in his mind almost every night for the past few months: the feel of her when he had his fingers inside her, the way she’d moaned his name, her face tightening and then slackening as she came. But you couldn’t live on just memories. The real thing was always better, and this was no exception. She was already wet, which made him, if possible, harder, and he circled his thumb around her clit, watching her face, listening to her breath. He thought he’d made her feel pretty good, the last time, but you could always improve.

“Mulder…” she said. “A little…a little harder…oh yes, that’s good…” And he followed her instructions, slipping one finger inside her, then two, looking at her as she squirmed against him, urged him on.

“We could…we could go ahead,” he said. “If you’re ready…”

“I think I’m ready,” she said. But when he moved a hand to her thigh he could feel it. Her leg tensing.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m okay,” she said. “It’s not…I really do want this. I want you. I’m just…I’m still a little nervous. Does that make sense?”

“It makes lots of sense,” he said; he held out his arms, and she cuddled against him, her head under his chin. “It’s something new, right?”

“Yeah,” she said. “That’s what it is, Mulder. It’s not anything you did. Or didn’t do. It’s just that I haven’t done this before.”

“I know,” he said. “Are you worried it will hurt? Because it shouldn’t, too much, since you’re wet already and—”

“I know that,” she said. “I’m going to be a doctor, remember?”

“I couldn’t forget,” he said. He kissed the top of her head. “Are you worried that—I don’t know, your parents are going to bust in here?”

She giggled. “No. They don’t even know where you live. And I don’t care what they’d think about this, anyway. No, it’s none of that, Mulder. It’s just…I’m getting in my own head, I guess. Thinking too much.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” he said. “You’re not the only one, if that makes you feel better. I think that’s pretty easy to do, in this kind of situation. If that helps.”

She nodded. “It does, actually.” They were quiet for a minute. Mulder wasn’t sure if he should say anything more or if he should let Dana take the lead now. He hadn’t overstated the case when he’d told her that she wasn’t the only one who was thinking too much. He didn’t want to push her, of course. But he didn’t want her to think she had to be the one to direct this; that seemed like another kind of pressure. “What’re you thinking now?” she asked him.

“Honestly?” he said.

“Of course honestly.”

“That I want you so much,” he told her, “but I don’t want to screw this up for you.”

“You won’t,” she said. “Mulder, you couldn’t.” And then she kissed him again, softly, sweetly, and he held her against him as they lay there. He stroked her hair, ran the other hand down her side, skimming the curve of her breast, her hip. Tried not to think too much. Thought about what to do next.

“Can I try something?” he asked her.

“What kind of something?”

“I want to…I want to taste you,” he said. “Try and make you come that way. Can I do that?”

Her face was flushed again now, but she looked eager, almost hungry, as she nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you can do that.”

And this was new: she’d done it for him, once, on that last day, but he hadn’t done it for her yet. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. Roughly a million times. Not that he wasn’t giving himself stern mental instructions to control himself, because right now, even looking at her, with his hands on her parted thighs, was almost too exciting.

And actually having his mouth on her was even better. She tasted like…hell, he couldn’t describe it. Something amazing, anyway. And he’d always loved seeing her react to him: she was never shy about it, whether she was letting out little breaths as he kissed her neck or groaning out his name when he had his fingers inside her. But all of that was nothing to the way she was reacting now. Now, with his tongue on her clit, she was loud. “Mulder,” she was saying. “Mulder, that’s good, that’s so so good, don’t stop, don’t stop, please,” and she was pulling his hair again, hard but he couldn’t care less, and shifting back and forth beneath him, pressing herself against his face.

He chanced a glance up at her: he wanted to see what she looked like, in this moment. And she was beautiful. Her head thrown back. Her eyes dark. Her cheeks a bright red, as vibrant as her hair. She looked down at him. “Don’t stop, Mulder, please.”

And he didn’t. He kept going, listening to her reactions to figure out what worked best, and when he could tell she was very close he murmured against her, “Come for me, my gorgeous girl.” One more long lick then, and she cried out, his name mingling with wordless shouts, and he moved up the mattress to hold her. His Dana. His gorgeous, gorgeous Dana.

She drew a long, shaky breath. “We’re going to have to do a lot more of that,” she told him.

“I think that can be arranged,” he said.

She moved her hand down, lightly stroking his cock again. “Do you want me to do you too?”

“Dana,” he said, “that sounds amazing, and I absolutely would not last more than two seconds. So next time. I don’t want to…delay the main event.”

“Next time, then,” she said, and she was smiling, and that was almost too much too.

“I might not…I don’t think I’ll last that long this time either,” he told her. “When we make love, I mean. I’ll try, really, but just don’t take it personally. Wait, that’s not what I mean. Do take it personally.”

He thought he sounded like an idiot, but he guessed she didn’t think so, from the way she was looking at him. “What you’re saying,” she said, “is that I turn you on.”

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, absolutely. So much.”

“You turn me on too,” she said, and then she lay back on the mattress, pulling him with her. “Come on, Mulder. I know I’m ready, now.”

He kissed her, slowly. “I love you, Dana.”

“I love you too,” she said. “Now come on.”

“So impatient all of a sudden,” he said, and she made a face at him, and he guided himself inside her. He tried to keep it gentle, still a little worried about messing this up for her. He could hear her breathing, quick and harsh. “You okay?” he asked.

“Very okay,” she said. “It’s…wow. It’s different. Good different,” she added quickly. She rocked her hips, slowly, deliberately. “Keep going,” she said, and he did, but he had to kiss her again first, because of how much he loved the expression on her face.

It wasn’t perfect, which he’d known not to expect, not when it was all so new. They had to spend time shifting around, trying to find a comfortable position where neither of them had their neck at an awkward angle or an elbow jabbed into the other. They weren’t in the same rhythm, although that got better towards the end. And, as he’d warned her, it really didn’t last very long. But somewhere in there, he stopped worrying. He couldn’t worry, because he was making love to Dana Scully. Dana Scully, who was his girlfriend, who trusted him enough for this. Dana Scully, who felt amazing around him, who he couldn’t stop touching, couldn’t be close enough to. Who said his name, in a soft, aching, sexy voice, when he moved inside her, when he rubbed her clit. Whom he loved, and when he told her that again, she whispered it back to him, and he knew she absolutely meant it. “Dana,” he gasped, when he finished, “Dana, Dana, Dana” because she was it, she was all he could think about.

He kissed her afterwards, pulling her against him. “You were amazing,” he said. “Was that…was it all right? For you?”

“More than all right,” she said; she’d draped an arm over him, and she didn’t seem inclined to move, which made him very happy. “I wasn’t…I’m not sure what I expected. But this was better than that.” She pressed a kiss to his chest, softly. “Thank you for giving me such a good first time.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said. “And…like I said before. Sorry I couldn’t make it last longer. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Dana said. “It was wonderful, Mulder. I am not at all unsatisfied. But if you really feel like you want to make things up to me…” She tapped his nose, smiling. “We’ll add that to the list for next time,” she said, and then she sat up and stretched. “I should clean up a little. Can I use the bathroom?”

“Of course,” he said. “You want me to get you anything while you’re in there? Some water or anything?”

“Water would be great,” she said, getting up. He checked out her ass, openly, as she walked towards the bathroom. After what they’d just done, he didn’t see any point in trying to be subtle about it.

She’d appropriated his bathrobe when she came out, but it looked better on her anyway, so who was he to complain? They made their way back to the mattress—as so often happened with them, they drifted there by common consent, not needing to talk about it—and settled down together, cuddled close. He gave her the water. “So,” he said, “can I hear the whole diaphragm story now?”

And the diaphragm story turned into other stories, things they’d done and things they’d seen that summer, things they’d been saving up to talk about. A lot of how much they’d missed each other got mixed up in there, along with more quiet professions of love. A lot of kissing too, a lot more touching. They had dinner at some point in there, thrown together from what he had in his refrigerator because they didn’t want any other people around right now. Another session of lovemaking, later that evening, a little more steady and no less miraculous.

“I should go,” she said, at last, regretfully.

“Don’t,” he said.

“I don’t want to either,” she said, “but you know I have a curfew in the dorm.” She made a face and then kissed him again. “It’s very unfair. But you’re going to Melissa’s tomorrow, right? That’s less than twenty-four hours.”

“It won’t feel like that,” he said. “But yes. I’ll be there.”

He kissed her lingeringly. He walked her to the corner and got her a cab. And back upstairs, he lay down and thought about her, wondering if he could sleep through until they went to Melissa’s the next evening, until he saw her again.

He got to Melissa’s as early as he could without completely ignoring the gathering’s scheduled start time, but Dana was already there. And she was at his side as soon as he got in the door. “Mulder!” she exclaimed. “Hi.”

There were other people there, probably, but Mulder couldn’t have told you who any of them were. He was only paying attention to Dana, the way she kissed him, the way she led him to the couch and settled against his side. “I missed you today,” she said. “Even if it was only an afternoon. Is that crazy?”

“If that’s crazy,” he told her, “then I’m crazy too.”

Her mouth was up against his ear, now. “I kept thinking about yesterday,” she whispered. “And…I know this sounds crazy too, I mean, I went my whole life without it before, but I really need to be with you again. Or I’m going to do something desperate. Do you think…could we leave a little early, maybe?”

She was never going to stop surprising him; he ought to know that by this point. “We can do anything you want,” he said, “if you promise to stop talking like that while we are here. Unless you want me to embarrass myself in public.”

She giggled. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured. She didn’t sound sorry at all, but then they both knew that he wasn’t really upset. She kissed him again, her arms around his neck.

“Ugh,” Melissa said, sitting down next to them, suddenly. “Look at this place.” Mulder vaguely followed the direction of her gesture; she seemed to be pointing to the two of them and then to Byers and Starchild, who were intertwined in a chair on the other side of the room, engaged in some serious kissing. “You’re proliferating.”

“Oh, Missy, we’re sorry,” said Dana. She still didn’t sound very much like it.

“Guess I’ll have to get to used to it,” Melissa said, and, to tell the truth, she didn’t sound very upset either. “Only don’t the two of you start with the whole on and off thing. My heart can’t take it.”

“Just speaking for myself,” said Mulder, “I have no desire to be off. Ever.”

“Mmm,” Dana said. “Me neither.” She was looking at him with the sweetest smile.

“Okay, I know when my presence is not required,” Melissa said, getting up. “I’ll leave you to yourselves.” But she stopped for a minute, before she went, and put a hand on Dana’s shoulder, and she was smiling too. “I’m glad you’re so happy, Dana,” she said. “Just treasure it up, okay? Because it’s a great thing, having more happiness in the world.”

“I will,” Dana said. “Thank you, Missy.”

“You too,” Melissa said, turning to Mulder. “And don’t ever do anything to hurt my sister, unless you’d enjoy having our entire family join forces to kill you. Because that’s maybe the only thing I can agree with my dad on.”

“Missy!” Dana said. “I can take care of myself. And he wouldn’t, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t,” Mulder said, as seriously as he could, wanting them both to know that he meant it. “That’s a promise.”

“Good,” Melissa said. “All right, I’ll leave you alone, then.”

They stayed for a little longer, but they realized quickly that they were pretty much useless to the rest of the group that night, as far as social engagement was concerned. “My place?” he whispered to her, in a quiet moment, and they walked downstairs together and hurried down the street.

.....

1968

“We should talk,” Dana said. She was sitting cross-legged on the mattress, wearing only one of his sweatshirts and her underpants, which was a little distracting. But her voice was serious, so Mulder tried to be serious too.

“Okay,” he said, putting the finishing touches on their sandwiches and carrying them over. He sat down next to her. “What about?”

“Next year,” Dana said. “Not that I want to get too far ahead of ourselves, or anything like that. We have this year, for sure, and I want it to be a good one too.” Considering that she’d just gotten back to New York three hours ago, he thought that was a fair point. “But next year…we should talk about our plans.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mulder said. “What are you thinking? You said you’ll hear in November, right?”

She nodded. “By November, I should know. And I’d love to stay in New York, at Columbia, but it’s not exactly easy to get in there.”

“I really do believe you will,” he said. “And I’m not just saying that because I love you, or to make you feel better.”

“I know,” she said, smiling. She reached out to touch his hand, and he took hers and held it, tightly. “And I love that about you. You…you make it easier for me to believe, too. So if I get into Columbia and stay here, everything’s great, then. But if I don’t…what are you doing with those classes, first of all? Did you sign up for anything?”

“I did, actually,” he said. “I’m taking one night class, this fall. For social work. It’s just introductory.” He shrugged.

“It’s not just anything,” Dana said. “Mulder, that’s great! I’m really proud of you.”

“It really isn’t that big a deal,” he said.

“Well, I think it is,” Dana said. “You’re going to be so good at this. And you know I’m not the only one who thinks so. You know your boss wouldn’t have suggested it to you, if he didn’t think so too. So why are you trying to downplay it?”

“I’m not,” he said.

“You are,” she said. “How come? You can tell me.” He looked down, and she moved closer to him on the mattress, putting a hand on his cheek. “This conversation isn’t going to work very well if you do this. Is something wrong?”

“Not really,” he said. “I mean, I don’t know. It’s…well, this is new, right? I didn’t even think about doing this, before this summer.”

“That’s true,” she said. “But it’s something you want to do, right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I do, actually. I was reading the stuff for the first class, and it’s really interesting. And I keep thinking about things I could do to help the kids at the center, if I had more background.” He smiled, thinking of it.

“Exactly,” she said. “So what’s the problem?”

He wasn’t sure how to articulate it himself. “Well, you’ve always known what you wanted to do,” he said. “All your life, right?”

“Since I was eight,” she said. “But what difference does that make?”

“I don’t want to get in the way of that for you,” he said.

“How would you be getting in the way?” she asked. “What’s wrong with us both having something that’s important to us? I think that’s good. It makes us both more interesting people.”

“But what if we can’t be in the same place?” he asked. “If you end up going somewhere else for medical school. And I’m studying here now and working at the center. And you’re so important to me, Dana. I know I want to be where you are. And I know I said I would move with you if we had to, and I meant it, but now…now that I’m actually doing this, it just makes it more complicated. And I wish it wasn’t. So I’m sorry about that.”

“Hey,” she said. “Look at me.” He did, and she looked back at him, her expression serious and tender. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. We’re a team, okay? That’s why I wanted to talk. Not so we could just do whatever was easier for me. Being a doctor…yes, that’s incredibly important to me, Mulder. But it’s not more important than what you want to do just because I’ve been thinking about it longer. We both have work that’s important to us. And then there’s…there’s us. This.” She gestured between the two of them. “And yes, it’s all complicated. But I bet it’s like this for a lot of people, and they figure it out. And so will we, together. Okay?”

She’d said that he made her believe, but she did the same for him. He reached out for her hand again, taking it between both of his. “Okay.”

“Good,” she said. “Because there are lots of things we could do, Mulder. If we end up in different places, we could write and visit all the time.”

“I’m not crazy about that, honestly,” he said.

“Neither am I,” she said. “But we could. People do. Or once we know where I’m going to school, we could look into what they have there, for social work. If you wanted to, of course.”

“Sure I’d want to,” he said.

“Or if I get into more than one place,” she said. “Not that I’m counting on that. But if I do, I could pick the one closest to New York, and we could…we could commute. Live somewhere in between. Especially if…” She broke off, fiddling with the hem of the sweatshirt. “We should talk about what you said at the lake. About getting married.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, we should talk about that. Do you…you said you liked the idea?”

She nodded. “I do, Mulder. It’s just like I told you. It’s hard to think about now, when I don’t know what’s going to happen yet.”

“And that makes sense,” he said. “But I know I want to be with you, for…well, forever.” He’d been nervous, for a long time, about putting it out there like that, about expecting that anyone would want to give him that kind of permanence. There had been a time when he wasn’t even sure if he wanted it himself. But with Dana…he felt like he could take that leap.

And it wasn’t too much, he guessed, if her face was any indication. “I want that too,” she said. “If I haven’t made it clear enough, I…I can’t imagine what it would be like without you, now. I just want to talk about it more. When we’d do it. How we’d do it.”

“Well, first of all,” he said, “I haven’t forgotten what we talked about. About me asking you after you’ve heard from the medical schools. Which you will get into, by the way.” She rolled her eyes at him, but she was smiling. “So anything I say now, it’s not me asking. It’s just us discussing the possibility. If that makes it easier for you to think about.” She nodded. “I knew you weren’t sure about living together,” he said. “And this…it’s more serious, I know that. But I thought it might be—”

“No, you’re right,” she said. “I actually feel better about this than about living together. Even though I know it’s more serious. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but it just seems like…well, we’d know where we were.”

He liked the sound of that. “Yeah,” he said. “I know there are things we’ll have to figure out, obviously. Like…” It seemed like there were a lot of questions, suddenly. Things about daily life he’d never given much thought to. “What kind of place do you see us living in?”

“One with an actual bed,” she said, laughing. “Sorry. That’s actually a good question. I…well, it depends on where we end up. Obviously if we stay here, it’ll be an apartment, but even somewhere else…nothing too big, I don’t think. After all, if we’re both in school, we’re not going to be millionaires.”

“We don’t take up too much space, anyway,” he said. “At least you don’t.”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” she said, in a voice of exaggerated dignity, “for me to marry someone who is so incredibly rude to me.” But he kissed her then, and she laughed.

“Say we did decide in November,” he said. “Would that mean…the summer? Is that long enough? Too long?” He didn’t really know how these things worked.

“Definitely not too long,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to get married before I graduated, anyway. Engaged is all right, but not married.”

“Makes sense,” he said.

“But there’s another thing,” she said. “If we got married this summer and then I started school. During medical school, and then for the first few years after that—well, everyone says you have no time for anything else. I might not be that much fun to have around. Are you…you’d have to be on board with that.”

“I’m on board,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to wait that long, Dana. And I’d get to see you more this way, anyway.”

“That’s true,” she said. She was quiet for another moment, looking thoughtful. “Do you want kids, Mulder?”

He hadn’t expected that question, although he probably should have, and he knew that she was right: it was something they should talk about. And because of that, he didn’t want to give a quick, thoughtless answer. “Honestly,” he said, “it’s not something I’ve really thought about before.” She nodded; he couldn’t quite read her expression. “Have you? Do you know if you want kids?”

“I do,” she said. “Not right away, while I’m in school. I didn’t even think, before you, that I’d be married then. But after that I do. And I want more than one.” She smiled at him. “You don’t have to know right now, Mulder. But will you think about it? Because we should talk about that, before we decide anything.”

“Of course,” he said. “Of course, Dana.”

They talked more that day and over the next two months, sorting through their questions about the future. Some were big: how they’d decide where to live, how they’d support themselves, what he thought about kids (it took him a while, because he wanted to be serious about it, but when he started thinking fondly about babies with Dana’s blue eyes he decided that was probably a sign). Some were decidedly less high stakes (“I just realized,” Dana said one evening, “that I’ve never lived somewhere I didn’t have to be home by a certain time. Wow. I hope I don’t go mad with the freedom”). They didn’t say anything definite, because they’d agreed: not until November, not until she knew where she was going to school. But something shifted in those months, became more solid day by day. They didn’t say it, but they knew.

And then she called him, one day, and when she said, “Mulder, it’s me,” she sounded like she’d been crying.

“Dana,” he said, “what is it? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I’m okay. It’s good news, Mulder. It’s…I got the letter.” Her voice was almost a whisper now, reverent, awed, and he clutched the phone tighter as he listened. ��From Columbia. I got in. Mulder…I’m really going to be a doctor.” He thought she laughed, then, but she might have been crying again. “Mulder, I’m so happy.”

“And I’m so happy for you,” he said. “Dana, that’s amazing. And you’re amazing. I knew you could do this.”

“I know you did,” she said. “You always told me I could…and mostly I thought I could…but I just wasn’t sure. Until today. I’m so happy,” she said, that same awe in her voice, and he could practically see her smile through the phone. “And then for us…for us it means…”

“Yeah,” he said. “God, I’m so proud of you, Dana. Or should I call you Doctor Scully?”

“Not yet,” she said, laughing. “Wait a few years.”

“Can I take you out tonight?” he asked. “Celebrate with you?”

“I promised Monica and Ellen and Kathy that I’d celebrate with them tonight,” she said. “We’re actually getting ready to go out—I just wanted to call and tell you first. But we could do tomorrow?”

“That sounds good,” he said. They arranged a place—a restaurant they both liked—and he told her, once more, how happy he was for her before they got off the phone.

She was beaming when they met outside the restaurant that night. “It still hasn’t worn off,” she told him. “I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling since I got the letter. Well, at first I was in shock. And then I cried a little. But since then, I haven’t stopped smiling.”

“You deserve it,” he said, as they sat down. “How was the celebration last night? I hope this can live up to it.”

“I think it will,” she said, placing her hand over his. “We did have a lot of fun, though. We went dancing. And we got a little drunk. And Kathy got a lot drunk.”

“Wow,” he said. “Didn’t Kathy remember whose celebration it was? Shouldn’t you have been the one getting the most drunk?”

“Yes,” Dana said. “But I know I have to pace myself. Because it doesn’t take much—no short jokes,” she added sternly.

“I wasn’t going to make a short joke,” Mulder said. “It’s your special day. I know when I have to be nice.”

“Sure,” she said. “Anyway, I know to pace myself, and Kathy’s not so good at that. But it’s okay. We got her home fine. And I didn’t need to get drunk, anyway. Because I was already so happy.” She was beaming, still, and he leaned across the table to kiss her quickly. She kept her hand in his.

She told him the story over dinner, how she’d picked up the letter at the mailroom, how she’d waited until she got back to the dorm to open it, not wanting to have that moment in public. She’d known for just over a day, now, but she was already full of plans for the next fall, and he listened to her, thinking, for very far from the first time, how lucky he was.

“Do you want to come back to my place for a little?” he asked her, when they were done eating. “I actually got you a present. A congratulations gift, I guess.”

“Oh, Mulder, you didn’t have to,” she said. “Did you just get it today?”

“No, I got it a month ago,” he said, and in answer to her look he said, “I told you I knew you’d get in.”

She shook her head. “I forgive you, since it all worked out,” she said as they were walking in the direction of his apartment, “but you shouldn’t have jinxed it like that.”

“You’re talking about jinxes now?” he said. “And you tell me there’s no evidence for the stuff I believe in.”

“Well, I don’t know,” she said, blushing. “It’s not…I don’t exactly believe in jinxes. I just think, in case there are jinxes, you shouldn’t do anything that might set them off.”

“I don’t exactly get the distinction,” he said.

“There is one, though,” she said, and he didn’t have the heart to argue with her, tonight, so he just kissed her again.

He was a little nervous when it came to it, when he handed her the package he’d wrapped as carefully as he could. He’d found it in a secondhand store, and it had struck him as the perfect thing right away, but that didn’t mean…you never knew. She undid the wrapping and lifted up the box. “Mulder,” she said, “wow. This is beautiful.”

He put his hand on the lid next to hers, not wanting her to open it immediately. “It seemed right,” he said. It was an old wooden box, with a carving on the lid: a snake wrapped around a staff.

“The Rod of Asclepius,” she said, touching it and smiling. “You even got the right symbol. Most people think it’s the caduceus.”

“I know,” he said. “You told me once.”

“And you remembered,” she said. “Thank you.”

“I thought you could keep things in it,” he said. “Your stethoscope, maybe. Or things like that. There are a few compartments.”

“Let me see,” she said, and she went to open it, and this time he let her. He thought he would be more nervous. Somehow he wasn’t, right now.

At least not at this very moment. But when she opened it, the lid was in front of her face, so he couldn’t see it. And when she said, “Mulder…what…Mulder…is this…?” he wasn’t sure, without seeing her face, if he’d done this right. If this was the right time, the right way.

But he’d done it, so he had to go on. “Yes,” he said, and he moved so he could see her, staring down into the box. There was a little tray at the top, where he’d placed the ring. “We talked about…we said I could ask you now.”

“So ask me,” she said, and she looked up, and he felt better again. Both because of the look on her face—her earlier bliss mixed with something slightly stunned around the eyes—and because he didn’t think she’d tell him to ask her just so she could turn him down. Dana had never been cruel.

There was so much he could say to her, but he kept it simple. “I love you, Dana,” he said, “and I can’t…I can’t imagine being without you now. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, of course I will, Mulder,” and then she grabbed him and kissed him. She was somewhere between laughing and crying, like she’d been on the phone yesterday. That was a good sign, he thought. That he could make her feel the same way that getting into medical school did.

Of course, he was in much the same condition himself. “I’m so happy,” he murmured against her.

“Me too,” she said. “Me too, Mulder.” Another kiss, a pause. “Let me try the ring?” He slipped it on her finger. She looked down at it, smiling. “Wow.”

“You like it?” he asked.

“I love it,” she said. “You’re very good at presents, Mulder.”

“Well, I figured that since I’m not so good at the quantity,” he said—he often forgot special occasions, and they both knew it—“I’d better make it count in terms of quality.” He pressed her against him. “Pretty soon,” he said, “I’ll get to say that I’m married to a brilliant doctor.”

“No more talking,” she whispered, kissing him again, her hands tugging at his shirt. He took her hint.

.....

1969

Dana was still asleep when Mulder woke up in the morning. A part of him wanted to wake her up too, but the rest of him won out: the part that was content to lie there next to her and think about how he would get to wake up like this every morning from now on.

They hadn’t slept next to each other much, in the years of their relationship. She couldn’t often sleep at his place, since she usually had to get back to her dorm—there was a curfew, and a lot of her lab classes met in the morning, anyway—and he couldn’t sleep at hers, since it was against the rules, and even if they’d found a way to sneak around them Monica was there on the other side of the room. There had been visits during the summer, but he was pretty sure their parents wouldn’t have taken kindly to this kind of sleeping arrangement. But now…there were no curfews. No roommates. No families to dictate the rules. Now it was only them.

She stirred, then, and he watched her, shifting on the bed, finally opening her eyes. “Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning.”

She smiled sleepily at him. “We’re married, aren’t we?”

“As of four o’clock yesterday afternoon,” he said, “we are married.”

“That’s so good,” she said, snuggling closer to him, slipping an arm around his waist. “That’s so good, Mulder.”

“Oh, Dana,” he said, “you don’t know how much I agree.” He kissed her. She was his wife. He was kissing his wife.

She held out her hand, looking at the ring—they’d used her grandmother’s, which had been handed down to her. “Remember when I wore this so I could get my diaphragm?” she asked. “So we could have lots of wild, illicit sex? And now we’re respectable and married.”

“I remember,” he said. Running a hand down her arm, he added, “And I think we can keep up the wild part, anyway. If last night is any indication.” She flushed, and he laughed, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “Why are you blushing? You said it yourself. It’s all above board now.”

“I know,” she said. “My mom—do you know what she said to me? The night before last?”

“Do I want to know?” he asked.

“It’s nothing bad,” she said. “She asked me if she needed to talk to me about what would happen on my wedding night or if I knew all about it already. But it was the way she said it…she wasn’t asking if I knew just from hearing about it.”

“And did you tell her you knew?”

“Yeah, I did,” Dana said. “And she said, ‘That’s what I thought.’ And then she said she knew we were going to be very happy together. But I had no idea she knew. And she didn’t seem upset about it either.”

Mulder shook his head, laughing again. “I think your mom has unexpected depths, Dana.”

“I guess so,” she said. She leaned her head against him. “Wasn’t yesterday wonderful? I hope everyone had a good time. I wasn’t really paying attention to them.”

“What were you paying attention to?” he asked.

“You,” she said. “You, and how happy I was. I still can’t believe we’re really married, Mulder!” A lingering kiss. “I feel so lucky.”

“You feel lucky?” he said. “I’m the lucky one.”

“Maybe we both are,” she said. “But really, I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“I know the feeling,” he said. “But we’re not dreaming, Dana. Should I pinch you?” She just laughed, so he pinched her side, and she squealed and shoved him, and then they were kissing again, and her hands were running down his chest, and they could do this whenever they liked, because they were married. Married. Maybe someday he’d get used to it, but not any time soon.

And the joy didn’t wear off as they settled into their apartment, as they established their daily routines. He could still feel the smile breaking out on his face, a month and a half later, as she joined him at the table for breakfast. “What’re you smiling at?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Happy to see you.”

“You’re a sap,” she said, but she was smiling too. As they ate, though, he could tell that she was a little nervous; she kept fiddling with her blouse, straightening the collar and cuffs.

“You’re going to do great, you know,” he said. “And I can’t wait to hear about it.”

She looked up. “Thanks, Mulder,” she said. “I am excited. It’s just…everything is starting today.” She looked at the clock and got up, getting her bag from a chair. “I have three classes today, but I should be back around four-thirty, I think. What about you?”

“I’m working the morning and have a class in the afternoon,” he said. “I should be back around the same time as you. Maybe a little later.”

“I want to hear all about your class too,” she said. “We’ll have to compare notes.”

“We will.” He got up as well, gathering his things. They walked down together, as far as the corner. “Have a good day,” he said, kissing her quickly.

“You too,” she said. “See you tonight.”

And they would.

#the x files #my fic #msr #1960s AU

60 notes · View notes

stacks-reviews · 6 years

Text

New Releases 11/14/17

‘Happy New Release Day! Today brings a few new manga and a graphic novel, along with a couple of new shows/movies, and even a new video game from Nintendo.

In Books --Fairy Tail Volume 62 by Hiro Mashima “During the chaos of war,the demon Acnologia slinks his way into the ranks. As Erza, Wendy, and Gajeel prepare to face their hardest battle yet, a strange woman shows up to lift their spirits! The woman knows the secret to sealing Acnologia away, but will the gang be able to execute her orders! Meanwhile, brothers Natsu and Zeref go head-to-head, with their lives on the line! The fate of the world sinks further into peril when Zeref reveals his ultimate mission: Neo Eclipse!”

I can’t believe this series is almost over (at least in the US). Just one more volume remains. I think I’m going to wait to pick this one up until volume 63 comes out so I can get them together. The last volume I read was somewhere in the early 50′s, I think. I started rereading the series but paused midway through volume 8 and will continue from there once the last volume is released.

--Forbidden Scrollery Volume 1 by Moe Harukawa “Where else would a girl with the power to translate any tome she sets in her lap reside except a library? Sure, some books may be more dangerous than others, but that's far from discouragement for a true bibliophile like Kosuzu Motoori!”

Books that are dangerous. That may or may not magical in some form. With artwork that reminds me of Cardcator Sakura. Sign me up. I really would like to try this series cause as I’ve mentioned before I’m a sucker for books that have books being a form of power in worlds. I did flip through some of this volume when it arrived early at my work. And it looks promising.

--Frau Faust Volume 2 by Kore Yamazaki “After narrowly escaping a battle with Lorenzo, Johanna falls unconscious. In her wounded state, the century-old memories of her first encounter with Mephistopheles run through her head. In these memories are answers Marion is beginning to understand: what is the nature of his master’s immortality, and how is her curse inextricably tied to the body of her demon? Faust, Marion, and Nico’s immediate aim is to find Mephisto’s right leg, a mission that becomes more urgent when evidence of a young girl using demonic power comes to light. To find the next piece of her precious demon, Johanna may even need to form a tenuous deal with Lorenzo...”

From the creator of The Ancient Magus’ Bride comes Frau Faust. I enjoyed the first volume of this series which included a cute short about a museum that houses invisible exhibits. I would like to see Yamazaki explore that short more in the future. The first volume follows Johanna as she tries to find the missing pieces of the demon Mephisto held captive by the church. Along the way she gains an apprentice named Marion and they meet up with Nico, Johanna’s daughter.

My favorite part of volume 2 was learning about how Johanna meet Mephisto.

--Rose Volume 1 by Meredith Finch, illustrated by Ig Guara “A classic fantasy tale about a girl trying to restore balance to a broken world. Rose must connect with her Khat—Thorne—to become the Guardian the world needs. But things aren’t easy for Rose and Thorne, the powerful sorcerous Drucilla has many powerful and demonic allies—all of them focused on stopping one scared little girl who’s desperately trying to stay alive and do what’s right.”

I have been waiting on this one since I first saw the cover to issue one earlier this year. A warrior-girl with her giant black panther companion. It was a good start to the series though the volume felt a bit rushed. A few of the pages cut off part of some sentences near the end of the volume. I am looking forward to volume 2 and hope that the pacing might find a better flow. I think it’s worth checking out.

In Movies/TV Shows --91 Days “Prohibition—a lawless era where bootleggers prosper and mobsters prowl. Avilio Bruno has grown up alone in this murky world after the Vanetti's murdered his family. One day, he receives a letter that holds the key to revenge. Befriending the don's son, Nero, Avilio works his way through the Vanetti family and sets his vengeance in motion.”

I haven’t had time to try this one out yet but I really want to. There is a standard and an LE edition. The LE has an art box and comes with a 40 page companion guide that has, “artwork, character profiles, background information on Prohibition, the Chicago mafia, period firearms, and more.” And a set of six art cards.

--Atomic Blonde “An undercover MI6 agent is sent to Berlin during the Cold War to investigate the murder of a fellow agent and recover a missing list of double agents.”

I was really excited to see this one because of how they treated the main character. They made her fight how a woman would actually need to fight. And they made it also realistic by how bruised and cut up she was after all this was over. When she got punched in the face that bruise would stay there. Some of those fights were painful to watch just of the pain you see was being done to her. The fight scenes in this movie were just fantastic. But the plot was a little convoluted. Maybe it will make more sense during a second watch. Either way it was an enjoyable movie to watch.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/atomic-blonde-doesnt-pretend-women-fight-like-men-and-the-result-is-awesome_us_597b3c67e4b02a8434b5df58

--Blue Exorcist Kyoto Saga Set 1 “Born the spawn of Satan, Rin Okumura decides to hide his origins, and become an exorcist. He enrolls at the Exorcism Cram School, a training institute for exorcists located on the True Cross Academy grounds. But, his cover is blown during an attack by Amaimon, the King of Earth, and he is revealed to be the son of Satan. Terrified of Satan’s blue flames, his friends start to distance themselves from Rin…It is then that someone steals the Left Eye of the Impure King, sealed away in the deepest part of the academy, and Rin and the others find themselves embroiled in an unexpected crisis.”

The newest season of Blue Exorcist is starting to release. It was a pretty good season. And now I’m trying to remember if I finished it or not. I feel like I did but now I can’t remember.... Anyway. This is an Aniplex title so it is going to be a bit higher. There is a DVD edition and a Blu-Ray. They contain episodes 1-6 of this season. But if you buy the Blu-Ray it also comes with a booklet and some postcards.

--Doctor Who Complete Series 10 The final season of Peter Capaldi as 12 and with Steven Moffat as executive producer is now out as a complete set. Pearl Mackie was great as Bill Potts though sometimes I can’t help but feel like they could have done more with her character. Once I see the season again I might change my mind but for now that thought occasionally pops up.

My favorite episodes of this season are “Smile”, “Thin Ice” if only to watch the Doctor punch that guy over and over, “Empress of Mars”, and the two-part season finale.

--In This Corner Of the World “Based on the award-winning manga by Fumiyo Kouno, In This Corner Of the World tells the emotional story of Suzu, a young girl from Hiroshima, who’s just become a bride in the nearby city of Kure during World War II. Living with her husband’s family, Suzu has to adjust to her new life, which is made especially difficult by regular air raids. But life must go on, and Suzu - through the help of her new family and neighbors - begins to discover the joys of everyday life in Kure. Much is gained in Kure, but with war, many things cherished are also lost.”

This just looks fantastic. I’m really excited to see this one.

--Pokemon Indigo League S1 The original that started it all is out on blu-ray for what should be the first time. I love the Indigo League. It’s where I started with Pokemon. And it has some the saddest episodes I’ve seen from the series. At least up until the point where I stopped watching. I tried to pick it back up during the last season and the new Sun and Moon seasons but it has been sporadic.

This set has the first 52 episodes of the series. It also comes with a 64 page manga sampler, a recipe card, the complete Pokerap, and a “Who’s That Pokemon” gallery. I feel like they could have done more for this release as the extras just feel like a pull for you to start buying the manga and one of their Pokemon cookbooks.

I really hope they kept the other songs in at the end of episodes instead of just the Pokerap. I love the Pokerap but I also love the other songs. Yeah, I have them on one of the soundtracks but I’d still like to see them at the end of the episodes.

The box itself is really cool. It is designed to look like the original Pokedex.

--Preacher S2 “Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy hit the road in search of God, and quickly realize they're being stalked by a killer cowboy from Hell.”

I wasn’t as crazy about this season as I was the first. I’ve been that way with a lot of series this year. It is still a good series and had a great start to the season. And ended with a great cliffhanger.

In Video Games --RiME (Nintendo Switch version) “In RiME, you play as a young boy who has awakened on a mysterious island after a torrential storm. You see wild animals, long-forgotten ruins and a massive tower that beckons you to come closer. Armed with your wits and a will to overcome—and the guidance of a helpful fox—you must explore the enigmatic island, reach the tower's peak, and unlock its closely guarded secrets.”

I’ve been really excited for this game for a while. But I am conflicted. It is half price if I get it on my PS4 but I was really hoping to get it for my Switch. Visually it looks gorgeous and the OST is supposed to be really good. But I have heard that the puzzles aren’t very challenging. I still want to try it out. Now I just need to decide what console I want it for.

5 notes · View notes

bsjzianskxjfh-blog · 6 years

Text

Genesis x reader!!

(Gifs aren’t mine, the second gif of zendaya is an inspiration I used for this fic bc I used the plot from the song Versace on the floor by Bruno mars to come up with this lmao anyways this is lemon so mature audiences and enjoy!)

Genesis rhapsodos x reader lemon!

Genesis was exhausted. Every bit of his energy was drained from the missions and training he had done today. All he wanted was to go to the hotel and read his beloved book loveless. People stared at the regal man as he walked by in shock. This made Genesis feel a little better as he saw majority of the on lookers were women. And I mean how could they not stare? He was tall, and had a well built and muscular structure. Red hair framed his chiseled face. Not only were his looks something big but his status. A first class SOLDIER and a friend of the famous Sephiroth. Genesis saw the flashing lights of the sign on top of the hotel and sighed in sweet bliss. He was a couple steps closer to having a relaxing night. Sprinting towards the entrance of the hotel he felt relief as the AC cooled his sweaty body down a ton. He quickly walked towards the elevator and got in imparyiently waiting till it got to the top floor. The top floor was meant for the elite and the rich it was decorated with lavish gold silks with black lace on them and each room was different in style in the top floor. Once Genesis arrived he quickly walked to wards his room but something caught his eye. Next to his room a girl, no a woman was opening her door. Her beauty rivaled the Greek goddess Aphrodite. Genesis begun to check her out. She was very curvy, her tight black dress outlining an hourglass figure. Long, and thin s/c legs tempted him. Her hair was long, and perfectly straight tempting Genesis to run his hands through the shining h/c locks. The woman, as if feeling Genesis’s turned around and Genesis’s has almost slacked. She was a regal beauty. High s/c cheekbone smade her look cunning, her smooth skin made him envious, pink plump lips curled into a closed mouth smile and dimples appeared in her cheeks. Thick mascara’d eyelashes made a curtain around her shining e/c eyes. Genesis couldn’t place it but he remembered seeing this girl from somewhere, long ago. The girl gave a sweet giggle and walked into her room genesis doing the same. Genesis walked into the grand room covers in cloths and silks of a raven black color he jumped onto the bed and took out his book loveless unaware of on the other side of the wall, the regal beauty he had just seen was putting her ear to the wall. “Loveless ACT I” Genesis said loudly not realizing he could be heard from the other side of the wall. “Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess

We seek it thus, and take to the sky

Ripples form on the water’s surface

The wandering soul knows no rest.”

“Loveless act II” he heard a sweet voice giggle out. “There is no hate, only joy

For you are beloved by the goddess

Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul

Pride is lost

Wings stripped away, the end is nigh” he heard

a voice like honey say making him sigh in happiness. “You know Loveless?” He called out loudly hoping it was the girl who he had seen earlier. “Well of course, honestly I never really did care for poetry but this poem is very important to me because it was something my friend had taught my years ago.” She called out. “Your friend has very good taste in poetry miss.” Genesis replied to her wanting to be in the same room as her and look into those shining jewels that were her eyes. “Yes he did. Now why don’t you come here to give me a private show?” Her voice became husky at the end of her sentence arousing him a bit. “Of course my lady” he said in a sultry voice. Genesis discarded his red jacket and walked outside of his room. He knocked on the door only for it to open. Walking in Genesis was covered in red. The lighting in the room was giving it a seductive look. Everything was in red and blacks giving the aura of sexiness. “Well, the man of the hour has arrived.” The girl he had seen before said as she came out of the bathroom in nothing but a robe that showed her cleavage and legs making Genesis’s mouth water. They both sat on her bed. Deciding their distance was too much Genesis pulled her by her waist closer to him and dipped her into the bed. He leaned over to her, the feeling of her breasts on his chest driving him over the edge. “Now before I de flower you my love, I must know your name?” Genesis purred as he put his face in between her cleavage. “Y/n. Y/n l/n She said making Genesis drop her.

“Y/n?” He breathed out remembering his childhood friend. She was the light in his life back when he was young. He remembered playing princes sand soldier where he’d save her from the mighty dragon and become her knight in shining armour. “You’ve changed.” He breathes out.

4 notes · View notes

tozinhofernandes-blog · 6 years

Text

DUCATI

The origin of the traditional Italian brand began in 1926 when the Ducati brothers (Bruno, Adriano and Marcello) and another investor from the city of Bologna founded the Societa Scientifica Radio Brevetti Ducati. The initial target of the new company was the production of industrial components for the growing market for radio broadcasts, based on Adriano Ducati's patents. The first product to be manufactured by the company was the Manens condenser for radio, followed quickly by other components. In the following years the products became a success thus allowing the company to expand and gain the respect of the international industrial community. -

- Almost a decade later, on June 1, 1935, the cornerstone of the factory at Borgo Panigale was laid. The new complex was an extremely modern and ambitious project with the aim of establishing an industrial and technological center in Bologna. During this period, DUCATI has developed abroad by opening several offices and branches in cities such as London, Paris, New York, Sydney and Caracas, thus ensuring direct service and assistance to its customers in all major markets worldwide. World War II was extremely difficult for the company: the Borgo Panigale factory was completely destroyed by bombing in 1944. Fortunately, the Ducati brothers spent the war studying and planning new products to be introduced into world markets at the end of the conflict. -

- In 1946, the company created the Cucciolo, a small auxiliary motor for bicycles. Initially sold in an assembly kit to be installed on a bicycle, it soon acquired a frame of its own. In a short time, the Cucciolo became a true miniature motorcycle. Thanks to the success of Cucciolo, and its descendants, DUCATI has established itself as a registered trademark in the mechanical sector. From this moment, the company would begin to transform. In 1950, the division for the production of motorcycle was founded, and the brand DUCATI would become part of the world of motorcycling. Producing motorcycles with few displacements, the first product of the brand was the futuristic Cruiser of 175 cm3, with electric start and automatic transmission, launched in the market in 1952. The following year DUCATI revealed to the world a small, economic and spartan motorcycle of 98 cm3 , which soon had its power elevated to 125 cm3. This year the company was divided into two: Ducati Elettronica S.p.A. (electronic products) and Ducati Meccanica S.p.A. (manufacturer of motorcycles). - - Shortly after, in 1954, a man destined to become a myth in the world of motorcycles came to the company: the engineer Fabio Taglioni, who had already built motorcycles of an original technical character and impressive performance. The drawing of Taglioni, avant-garde and nonconformist, had its baptism in the races. Since his debut at DUCATI, the engineer has tried to demonstrate the quality of his solutions by participating in long-distance races such as Milano-Taranto and Giro d'Italia. At the end of 1956, DUCATI's production also included the 4-T Tourist 174 motorcycle and Special and Sport models, capable of considerable performance (110, 120 and 135 km / h, respectively). The following year, these models were officially presented to the public at the Milan Salon, along with the "America" model. During the year 1958, DUCATI also produced the "Elite", a 250 cm3 motorcycle. This year was also marked by the triumph of the desmodromic system, which was being developed by the engineer Taglioni since 1955. This project resulted in the famous 250 cm3 twin-cylinder engine from 1960, commissioned from the Italian company by the famous English pilot, Mike Hailwoodä, who had requested specifically by a "superior" performance machine. - - In 1964, the 250 cm3 model was added to the list of commercial single-cylinder models in the Diana, Monza and Aurea models, and later in GP models capable of reaching approximately 150 km / h - a truly exceptional performance for the time. These models directly influenced all subsequent single cylinders to the famous Scramblers of 250, 350 and 450 cm3. The end of the 1960s coincided with the so-called "maxibikes" boom. Once again Taglioni gave DUCATI a powerful and winning motorcycle. On April 23, 1972, the Italian brand returned to the races, participating in the 200 Miles of Imola, with a new bi-cylindrical desmodromic of 750 cm3, piloted by the hands of Paul Smart and Bruno Spaggiari - who finished the race in first and second places , respectively. The exceptional 750 Supersport was designed and developed in response to this spectacular race. In 1978, Mike Hailwoodä, who had grown up in his career alongside the DUCATI single-cylinder, returned to compete in the Tourist Trophy The Isle of Man, impressing the public and fans with his Formula 1 TT victory on the mythical mountain. The motorcycle was a Supersport elevated to 900 cm3. In recognition of its exceptional effort, DUCATI has created the splendid 900 SS Mike Hailwood Replica, in limited edition. The success of this model definitely established the Italian brand as synonymous with beauty, endurance and speed. In 1983, DUCATI was bought by Claudio and Gianfranco Castiglioni and became part of the Cagiva Group. With this management, the group was in the hands of two big fans of motorcycles and races, who together took to DUCATI to the triumphs of the era of the Superbike. The adventure began in 1988 with Marco Lucchinelli in his incredible 851, built by engineer Massimo Bordi. Under the management of the Castiglioni brothers, the brand expanded its share of the motorcycle market by introducing new models, increasing the supply of motorcycles for large displacements, and intensifying the company's commitment to racing. - - DUCATI's great sports tradition continued in the following years with the birth of the 916 model in 1994. Once again, it was a revolution inspired by DUCATI, this time in the category of high-performance sports bikes. With this model, technology and style, performance and symmetry have reached maximum levels. DUCATI once again managed to create a perfect harmony between form and function, logic and emotion. From the most prestigious magazines on motorcycles, the 916 received the title "Motorcycle of the Year". In 1995, despite the innovation of its products and successes in competitions, the company entered a deep financial crisis. His box was literally dredged by the unsuccessful adventures of his sister companies within the Castiglioni group. The following year, the Texas Pacific Group, an American investment firm, took over DUCATI, and brought the necessary capital, along with a new group of international managers. Simultaneously, the launch of the ST family allowed the Italian brand to enter the Sport Touring segment. The new management team, along with the former group of engineers responsible for product development, made a turnaround in the company, achieving record sales and profits every quarter. The biggest success of the period was Monster Dark, the best-selling motorcycle in Italy in 1998 and 1999. - - DUCATI has gone from being a motorcycle manufacturer just to becoming an entertainment company as well, bringing a complete motorcycle experience, focused on the technical excellence of its motorcycles, but also extending to races, history and accessories. The first World Ducati Weekend showed this new interest from the Ducati Community, bringing together 10,000 fans and owners from around the world in Misano. The era of transformation of the company reached its peak on March 24, 1999, with the entry of Ducati Motor Holding from the New York and Milan stock exchanges. The MH900e was the first motorcycle to be sold exclusively through the Internet. Just a few weeks after the turn of the millennium, 2,000 customers had already booked the new motorcycle designed by Pierre Terblanche. In 2001, with a big double victory in Assen, Troy Bayliss wins the World Superbike Championship for DUCATI, just on the 75th anniversary of the brand's founding. The year 2001 will also be remembered for the deaths of Bruno Cavalieri Ducati, the last of the three brothers who founded the company, and of Fabio Taglioni, known as Doctor T, father of the 90 ° twin engine: the base and still the trademark of the motorcycles DUCATI.

0 notes

drewebowden66 · 6 years

Text

Detailed Guide & Inspiration For Designing A Mid-Century Modern Living Room

Design enthusiasts praise the mid-century modern style – but what is it, exactly? Coined by author Cara Greenberg in her 1984 collection, mid-century modern refers to pieces from the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s which pushed the limits of engineering. Desperate for creativity after World War II, famed designers took war materials and molded them into iconic chairs, tables, and lights – goods still sought after and replicated – furniture whose design was never bettered. Follow our detailed guide and links on how to incorporate mid-century modern pieces – and the style’s philosophy of good living – into your own inspired living room full of 50’s wonder.

Visualizer: Sam Habbaba Make mid-century modern look effortless. Fit your lounge with the high, wooden windows typical of the style, using a tilter to afford fresh air. By using wooden-legged furniture, here a peach accent chair, nested coffee tables and long three-seater, your interior can offer difference without one piece dominating. Light a swing arm wall lamp like this, beside a Bell table lamp by Tom Dixon to pair matching metallics. Sprigs of poppies could add focus behind your couch, as ferns pop up in planters across your living room. By matching a leather floor pouf to your wooden joinery, you can provide a place to read books surrounding the TV.

Designer: Orlando Soria Imagine mid-century modern away on holiday. Use shades of white, turquoise and gold beside an artificial Areca palm to create an everyday getaway. Stretch a Jute rug beneath your couches to add a dash more colour, and tie metallic end tables, each featuring three rounds of glass, into hues for leaf-patterned pillows. Prism coffee tables can further catch the eye with triangular legging, as a large arc floor lamp bends over the scene. Light up a wall of windows with the day’s incoming sun, finishing with turquoise tunes in a tufted floor pillow, couch cushions and table ornaments.

Visualizer: Studio Aiko As day sets, settle for something warmer. Heat up a more masculine scene with a ceiling-held fireplace beside a white Wegner-style shell chair. Sit a wood and metal coffee table on a Jute rug to centre the space. Two Wegner Papa Bear-style chairs can cuddle up beside a monochrome ottoman, while a couch in the same hue can offer more snuggling. Polish off your interior with grass views through glass panes.

Visualizer: Aleksandr Kalinov Grey and light wood are classic mid-century modern hues. Keep warmth in your living room with wooden walls on either side, while grey hues in your floor, seating and Jackson Pollock painting (here the number 14 in Gray) keep it spacious. Use the style’s ceiling-height windows to bring in light, and an Axis floor lamp to bring a focused glow to seating. With the Axis’ golden base harking to the seat and square coffee table’s legs, it’s easy to add glitz to this relaxed scene.

Designer: Jessica Helgerson Think outside the square when designing inside. House trees in hand-blown glass, a table in spotted driftwood and a Jute rug in natural weave. Insert wooden-frame lounge chairs and floors to make it more modern, and two spiralling wall ornaments to match their tone. Ceramics in jade and lots of white – here shown in the lounges, walls and chaise longue – create breathing space for your outdoorsy interior.

Photographer: Federico Cedrone Create the look with different materials and textures. To design an eclectic, yet not overpowering, living room, coat your seating brown in leather Barcelona-style chairs, mid-century modern classic chairs, and a blue metal accent chair in the Platner style. Join together a marble coffee table, metallic standing lamp and tulip-style end tables to create a lounge that looks ever so put-together.

Mid-century modern was originally created for smaller spaces. Use a brown leather sofa like the room above, but create your own vibe with a lightbulb pendant and dreamscape surfing photography. Let geometrics linger in a pentagon-legged coffee table and grey patterned rug. A range of potted plants, most notably here the Boston fern, can sit with your objects and photos to tie the look in.

Designer: AB Curated Looking a little larger, this living room uses brown as an accent for notable pieces. To achieve this look, sit a demure mid-century sofa upon a varnished floor in the hue. Face two chairs in the style towards the couch for conversation, letting a sofa cushion, framed print and turntable box match them in colour. By using classic mid-century modern pieces, here a geometric-legged coffee table and standing swing lamp, you can add nature in potted ferns and an artificial ZZ plant. Lie a red Turkish rug upon your floor to suggest travel and avoiding jarring colours.

Designer: Desiron Lizon The mid-century look can look super-modern – although its pieces have never changed. Make like this sloped-roof living room and use a couple of masterpieces, such as the Verner Panton S-style chair and cheeky Ray Eames elephant. Other interesting finds, like the tortoise with the elephant, or red shell couch to the back, can add character. Build ceiling-height windows and rows of long wooden bookshelving to cement your interior’s mid-century modern influence.

Source: Barker & Stonehouse Metallics are not just for the 21st Century. Employ them as feature pieces, by hanging a convex wall round and sitting a large copper floor lamp on your floor. Add hints of blue in a Myers sofa and rug to match patterned wallpaper, lending the blue to more knitted poufs. Finish with a few florals in a vase full of snapdragons, printed cushion and leaning stamen painting.

Photographer: Wells Campbell Create an entertaining area the 50’s greats would’ve been proud of. If decorating for a large, high-windowed space, scale up its walls with widely-spaced wooden panels, a series of white pendants and a large abstract artwork. Cover the floors and fireplace with red brick, keeping it warm with a large faux fur rug. Create a space for a chaise longue, Tom Dixon Wingback and school chairs, letting a rounded coffee table meet another in a triangle. Complete the look with a wistful baby grand and standing lamp for company.

Source: Wayfair Don’t be scared to have colour at your centre. Draw in the eye with a psychedelic piece beside a relaxed leather sofa set and geometric marble coffee table. Use light wood to softly cover your chair legs, shelving and wood stack, a potted tree to add nature.

Visualizer: Bruno Helbling Keep it classic in black, white and brown. Signal an eclectic style with dotted framed abstracts, abstracts like these or these. Employ a range of seating styles to populate your area, such as the Arne Jacobsen-style Egg chair, and a golden floor lamp to match your coffee table. Woollen textures can get cosy in fluffy ottomans, rugs, throws and cushions, whilst plants, such as the natural or artificial Fiddle Leaf Fig, can be presented for show.

Designer: Balodemas Architecture Baby boomers will remember this decor of their parent’s style. Get nostalgic with a white and wooden frame, centred by a blue wall featuring a bookcase. Place two white sofas beside many smaller windows, and two tripod plant stands to bring the outside in. Draw in guests with a mid-century modern coffee table holding a Russel Wright pitcher full of roses, adding a geometric console in the 50’s style. A bookcase can stand as your final relic, full of vases and picture frames below a George Nelson-style ball clock spreading out its rays.

Designer: Deering Design Studio Get cosy with 50’s-style colouring. Relax your orange and grey room in three types of seating amidst mid-century style table lamps, available here and here. Hang two rectangular framed prints mirroring the shape of the windows. Design your furniture in light wood to keep it cohesive.

Designer: Christian Dean Grey and orange couldn’t look more different in this open plan rendition. Break colour dominance in your living room with two berry chairs and the Noguchi table by Herman Miller, now available as an original or replica. Match its shine with a Flos Arco-style lamp gleaming silver in the corner, adding a hint of life with wooden plant stands. We recommend a simple grey rug and shelved ornaments to finish.

Designer: Cynthia Prizant Heavily influenced by 30’s painter Mondrian, this living room uses mostly geometric shapes, shapes that Mondrian believed were of a higher nature. Open your living room to a bold feature wall almost copied from his pieces, falling to a triangular-patterned rug and chairs in block colouring. Allow breathing space by decorating with simple windows, white walls and a wooden table, console and floor.

Source: Surefield Lucky enough to be surrounded by windows? Clothe your interior in charcoal, like this unique space. Showcase a ceiling-high feature fireplace amongst wooden accent chairs, adding small pops of colour in couch cushions, magazines, and two pieces of abstract art.

Visualizer: Int2 Architecture After more muted hues? Colour your furniture in teal and taupe, bordered by white walls and patterned floors. Matching wooden legs and a stone bookcase provide a good background for an Orient pendant looping over your wall.

Source: DWR Make your living room warmer, with a floor and half-wall in the polished wood of the style. Wrap a stone-coloured L-sofa around your windows, complementing the look with a white lined rug. Play with iconic pieces such as a Platner-style coffee table, black Swan-style chair and Serge Mouille floor lamp peeping over your sofa. Offer a spot by the fire with an Eames-style walnut stool. Splash turquoise about in hued watercolours and cushions.

Designer: Risa Boyer Keep it warm yet light with wood and orange tones. Carve a wooden roof with rafters over a stark white floor, diffusing your bright orange wall with a rug in brown checkers. Opt for an Eames lounge chair, available as an original or replica, to tie your TV and orange hues together. A suite in taupe could look out to a Noguchi table, whose Herman Miller original and now-available replica are iconic of this style. Complete the look with a fireplace, cushions and vases.

Photographer: Federico Cedrone Make the most of a beautiful outdoor view, with a few mid-century modern pieces. Wind a cream L-sofa beside a unique end table, here the iconic Platner side table, whose oscillating bands reflect the midday sun. Adding a lower side table, ball lamp and classic fluffy rug can make this look last a lifetime.

Source: Solar Innovations Decorate your living room a la Mad Men. Make the most of your high windows with a marble centre, brown leather seating and unique ceiling fans shown here. Pepper your lounge with standing lamps and an olive green armchair, for a perfect place to relax and watch the show.

Source: LA Times Design like the Eames’ – using their own Pacific Palisades living room as inspiration. Take cues from their contemporary Mondrian, and build double-height windows and high wooden bookcases with his rectangular forms. Nest amidst a bevy of indoor plants, using the Eames’ chair designs and iconic bird, available as an Eames Bird replica. Fill vases with flowers, lean a ladder to the ceiling and add hanging paper lanterns to complete your homage.

Photographer: Ezra Stoller Designed by architect Eero Saarinen for the industrialist J. Irwin Miller, this also-famous home was the beginning of a once-burgeoning trend – the conversation pit. Get inspired by Spanish and Middle Eastern influences, and construct a pink-couched depression in the middle of your floor, offering a space for focused chat. Scatter differently-coloured cushions to complement an iron table, figure and pot. A few roses in and out of the pit can also pretty up the scene.

Visualizer: Tero Centre your mid-century modern living room around a rug. Take a bright-coloured Cubic rug and set it upon a wooden floor, inviting companionship with black chairs in the style. Accent the look with a marble standing fireplace and retro-style floor lamp.

Designer: Disc Interiors White and wood mixes with grey and blue in this mid-century modern interior. Light its décor with a fireplace illuminating pockets of wood holding ornaments and frames. Starburst wall décor can act as your headline piece, while a shaggy rug, gold-rimmed table and geometric cushions create your home’s rested guests.

Visualizer: Valkyrie Studio Looking for more modern adaptations of the mid-century modern style? These last three interiors should yield inspiration. This particular look, blessed with the décor’s high windows, can be achieved using more muted shades of wood to cover your floors and walls. Replace the style’s characteristic floor lamps with LEDs lighting each wall. Place a rug in the centre, and stand a plethora of chair styles in more recent materials. A low marble table can act as your room’s pivot point.

Visualizer: Hodidu Use the classic mid-woods of the mid-century modern style, but throw distressed floorboards and charcoal into the mix. Go for the classic look with wooden window joinery, a Wegner-style Shell, mid-century style console and voluptuous bookshelf. Make it more modern with framed prints, not paintings; a rug that’s neat, not shaggy; and a central couch and ottoman that match a modern pendant.

Designer: YamaMar Make mid-century modern work with a sunny veranda. Employ the starburst wall décor and laden bookshelves of old, adding a lime couch and black-painted floorboards. Add a central fireplace and rug to show evolution of the style. A Noguchi-style coffee table and faux sheepskin pillows can further twist the classics.

Recommended Reading: Ultimate Guide To Mid Century Modern Chairs

A Luxurious Mid-Century Inspired Home in California

50 Modern Dining Chairs To Set Your Table With Style

Two Beautiful Urban Lofts Visualized

Industrial Style Dining Room Design: The Essential Guide

30 Living Rooms That Transcend Design Eras

Scandinavian Living Room Entertainment Setups

0 notes

nofomoartworld · 7 years

Text

Hyperallergic: Now and Then: The Rediscovery of Flora Mayo

Teresa Hubbard / Alexander Birchler, “Flora” (2017), film still, synchronized double-sided film installation with sound, 30 mins, loop (courtesy the artists, Tanya Bonakdar Gallery, New York and Lora Reynolds Gallery, Austin)

VENICE, Italy — There are one gazillion (and counting) contemporary artworks in Venice — at the Giardini pavilions, the vast Arsenale, the national pavilions dispersed through the city, and seemingly endless exhibitions basically everywhere. It is impossible to take everything in and easy to feel harried: you’ve seen this, but what about that, and do you really have time to sit down in one more darkened room to watch yet another long video?

Faced with this proliferation, I’d like to risk something radical. I’d like to focus on the one work in Venice that I found most riveting and that, to me, matters the most. It is Flora (2017) by Teresa Hubbard and Alexander Birchler, a synchronized, double-sided film installation with sound at the Swiss pavilion. Watching one side takes 30 minutes, as does the opposite side. It is best to watch both in their entirety, and then maybe do it again. If I could, I would give this layered, richly human (and often tear-inducing, for many viewers) work my own private Golden Lion, inventing a new category: Best and Most Meaningful Work in the Exhibition.

First, some background. The Swiss pavilion, which opened in 1952, was designed by acclaimed architect Bruno Giacometti, brother of Alberto Giacometti. Ironically, despite repeated invitations before and after the pavilion was built, nothing could persuade Alberto Giacometti — the most renowned Swiss artist of his era — to exhibit even in his own brother’s new building.

The reasons were complex, but essentially the Paris-based Giacometti, who grew up in the Italian-speaking Val Bregaglia, close to the border with Italy, simply refused to represent Switzerland and to be pigeonholed as a Swiss artist. Giacometti had been in fact a strong presence at the Venice Biennale — he exhibited his suite of sculptures Women of Venice (1956) in the French Pavilion in 1956 and received the Grand Prize for Sculpture in 1962 — but not in the Swiss pavilion, or on behalf of Switzerland.

This year the Swiss pavilion and its sponsoring organization Pro Helvetia did something novel. A curator, Philipp Kaiser, was selected, not an artist. With the pavilion’s history in mind he crafted an exhibition, also titled Women of Venice, featuring artworks responding to Alberto Giacometti: sculptures by Geneva-born American Carol Bove and the film installation by Hubbard and Birchler (Hubbard was born in Ireland, grew up in Australia, and bills herself as Irish/American/Swiss; Birchler is Swiss, and both divide their time between Austin, Texas and Berlin). At long last Kaiser has brought Giacometti into the Swiss pavilion but in a roundabout way, refracted through the work and visions of other artists.

Teresa Hubbard / Alexander Birchler, “Bust” (2017), silver gelatin print and brass sculpture with concrete base, Image: 88 x 72cm, Sculpture: 154 x 47,9 x 53,3 cm. Installation view: Swiss Pavilion, Venice Biennale 2017 (courtesy the artists, Tanya Bonakdar Gallery, New York and Lora Reynolds Gallery, Austin. Photo by Ugo Carmeni)

Here is where things get fascinating. In their mesmerizing work, filled with enthralling shots that often seem exquisitely sculpted, Hubbard and Birchler interweave documentary and fiction to focus not on the famous Giacometti but instead on the almost completely unknown American artist Flora Mayo, who had left her husband, daughter, and comfortable conditions in Denver, Colorado for the life of an artist. For several years in Paris, from 1925 to 1933 (we learn all of this from the work), she and Giacometti were friends, classmates at the Académie de la Grande Chaumière, studying under sculptor Antoine Bourdelle, and also lovers; as Flora’s voiceover in the film, expertly performed by JeJu Caron, discloses, she called him “Jack” and he called her “The American.”

In 1933, faced with severe financial distress when her family cut off their support, Flora left Paris, first destroying all her works, and returned to the US, where she eventually had another child (a son) out of wedlock, and supported herself and him through agonizing menial labor, including working in an armaments factory during World War II and as a janitor in a Los Angeles office building. She was a downwardly mobile artist in eclipse, an artist, as the great American poet Theodore Roethke wrote in his shattering poem “In a Dark Time,” “at odds with circumstance.” Nothing of her work remains, save for one photograph showing her, Giacometti, and a bust she had made of him. Otherwise, she vanished from the historical record.

Enter Hubbard and Birchler. Researching Giacometti, they read James Lord’s well-known Giacometti: A Biography. This is the first time they encountered Flora Mayo, in the photograph with the bust and in the author’s brief and dismissive treatment of her. Lord assigns her a fleeting role in Giacometti’s life and announces, apparently based on no evidence, that she ended her days in California “in demented solitude.”

Hubbard and Birchler grew curious about this woman. They went into gumshoe mode. Google offered little: a link to Giacometti’s enchanting plaster sculpture “Tête de Femme (Flora Mayo)” (1926), later cast in bronze, but scant information on Flora. Somehow they learned that she had a surviving son named David Mayo (the father is unknown) residing in suburban Los Angeles. They contacted him and he agreed to meet, giving his reason: no one, through all these years, had ever inquired about his mother or her relationship with Giacometti, and he had only recently learned about Giacometti for the first time, when his wife googled “Flora Mayo” and was directed to James Lord’s book.

With David Mayo, Hubbard and Birchler hit the mother lode: a son’s memories of his mother, but also letters, photographs, notes, and other documents squirreled away in musty chests that no one from the art world had ever seen. This primary material launched the film. Flora’s “voice” in her notes and correspondence becomes the voiceover in the film, which incorporates deeply moving photographs of her as a child, in Paris with Giacometti and others, and in Los Angeles. From fragments and snippets, glimpses and hints, a complex woman emerges in a film that is part detective story, love story, family history, and searing biography.

One side of the film installation is in color and features David Mayo talking about his mother. Now 81 and uneasy in front of the camera, and with only rudimentary knowledge of his mother’s years in Paris, and a scant familiarity with Giacometti or modern art, he is nevertheless a transfixing figure, discussing her “fortitude” as a single mom facing very difficult circumstances, her last years on “social welfare” in Los Angeles living on canned food while proudly refusing additional assistance, and her disappointing second trip to Paris, years after she first left, which he calls “living a little bit of a fantasy.” You see him in a chair in his suburban home and driving his car. You see close-ups of his face twitching with emotion and of his fidgeting hands.

Interspersed is the Flora voiceover, recounting episodes of her early life in Denver (she remembers hearing her artistically inclined mother weeping while her father went off to meet another woman) and her time in Paris. How Mayo got to Paris and met Giacometti is quite a story. Her father was the owner of A.T. Lewis & Sons, at the time Denver’s top department store, and she was educated at the best schools.

At 19 she married the man her father favored (although she emphatically did not love him), promptly had a daughter (“my beautiful baby girl!” the Flora voiceover enthuses in the film), and then scandalously left both husband and daughter to study art and be an artist in New York and Paris. How she could leave her daughter is one of many enigmas, including why she destroyed her work, why she ultimately abandoned her art, why David Mayo never met his father or his half-sister Joan, and whether Flora ever had contact again with her daughter.

The interplay between David Mayo and the Flora voiceover is extraordinary; it is as if an aged son is conversing with his young mother, learning about her previously hidden life for the first time, not only her relationship with Giacometti, but also her hopes and aspirations as an artist, all of which is completely foreign to him. When David Mayo reads aloud the passage about his mother in James Lord’s book he is all measured outrage: the single mom he knew, who had worked so hard in such trying conditions to support him bears no resemblance to the “demented” woman of Lord’s fantasy

Uncanny correspondences abound. Flora had fled to, and for a time flourished in, Paris, with Versailles on its outskirts, and then wound up living in a seedy Los Angeles apartment building called The Versailles, where the camera dwells on its threadbare sign, and where David Mayo traipses down the corridor toward his mother’s former door. She worked with her hands as a sculptor and later worked with her hands as a janitor (“She cleaned toilets,” David Mayo tersely recounts. “She mopped floors.”)

Stark questions of gender haunt this film from beginning to end. It was far easier for a man than a woman to make it as an artist in 1920s and 30s Paris, or anywhere else for that matter, and much else was arrayed against Flora: notably an arranged marriage and a family hostile to her artistic ambitions, coupled with limited, at best, opportunities for a single mother in mid-century America. All of which seemed to escape a famous biographer who, after studying the photograph of Flora, Giacometti, and her bust of him, wrote that she was “attractive but not beautiful” and had “something weak in her face” before later cavalierly dismissing her as “demented.”

The opposite side of the screen is a black-and-white (save for one crucial transition into color which I’ll discuss in a minute) narrative that takes place entirely in a meticulous re-creation of Flora’s 1926 Paris studio, including a skull on a shelf, a wooden doll, and well-worn carpets. It’s synchronized to the same soundtrack featuring David Mayo’s voice, the Flora voiceover, and music, and exactly how Hubbard and Birchler achieved this synchronization so impeccably is a marvel. You see the young Flora (Julia Zange) intently sculpting her bust of Giacometti, who is sitting across the room.

Traditional roles are reversed: not a male artist scrutinizing a female model but a female artist eyeing a man. Flora hardly says a word (same for Giacometti, played by Jules Armana) but the intense, ever-changing thoughts and emotions playing over her face speak volumes. It’s also not just art but the life of this studio that is so important: Flora chopping wood to make a fire in the cold morning; pouring milk into a dish for the hungry cat who laps it up (Melville, the cat, is acknowledged as an actor in the film’s credits); weeping on the bed. Flora sways and Giacometti twists as they dance together to a jazz record; a shot of their scruffy shoes moving across the floor is utterly endearing. The two share a meal, with wine, and playfully smash a hard-boiled and raw egg together, not knowing which was which (Flora has the hard-boiled one). You feel their ardor and delight. And you can’t help but think that here, or in a similar place, is where Flora really belonged: in a studio, as an artist.

In the part featuring David Mayo, the location shifts to Paris where Giacometti’s 1926 sculpture of Flora is being packed up at the Alberto and Annette Giacometti Foundation to be sent to Kunsthaus Zürich. You then find David Mayo walking through Zürich toward the museum, while the Flora voiceover announces, “On March 10, 1933, in the pouring rain I left Paris. There is still a piece of me there.” Alone at the museum, David Mayo climbs the stairs to see works by Giacometti in person for the first time; he seems very uncomfortable in a very alien place. He lingers at Giacometti’s lovely sculpture of his mother, struggling with his emotions. Sculpture and son gaze at one another, her face and his. “This is my mom,” he declares. “My mother.” This scene is heartbreaking, and also wonderful. On the other side of the screen there is a moment when the imagery suddenly switches to color, which is so subtle that I’m betting many viewers don’t register it at all. The view is a close-up of Giacometti’s sculpture of Flora showing its ridges and indentations, subtle colors and contours, the touch of his fingers, a single fingerprint. Art is front and center, not as something reverentially ogled in a Swiss museum but as a cathartic force laboriously made, teased into existence, accompanied by doubts and mistakes, charged with emotion, and full of life.

On first viewing of the emotionally immersive Flora, I was transported and shaken; on the second even more so. Other works in Venice are more flashy and attention-grabbing. This one is, for me, by far the more compelling and profound.

Flora (2017) by Teresa Hubbard and Alexander Birchler continues in the Swiss Pavilion at the 2017 Venice Biennale through November 26.

The post Now and Then: The Rediscovery of Flora Mayo appeared first on Hyperallergic.

from Hyperallergic http://ift.tt/2qKF02F via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Hyperallergic

0 notes