Message from his DFโs Higher Self
To the Littlest One,
I was summoned by you I think. Damn boy, are you tired? Cuz youโve been running through my mind all day. Everyday. Where do I begin? Thereโs always so much to say but Iโm never sorted out. You want to know how I feel about you? Well itโs not a one word or one line answer you see. In my previous connections, Iโve always had some issue or the other. There have been connections where things were THIS close to being something special, and yet, I couldnโt unsee that there was still that bit missing. And I realized, Iโm really looking for someone EXACTLY like me, and I knew I set myself up for failure because truly thatโs impossible to have? When I saw you for the first time, I was shocked because I couldnโt believe how someone could be so much like me. It was like looking at my male version. And yet, there were so many obvious differences. I would be all excited and tell whoever cared to listen (most didnโt) that look, this guy is just like me! I think Iโve found my perfect match like they write in books and stuff. It didnโt matter to me that you didnโt know I existed. I was incredibly happy just knowing that I wasnโt wrong in believing that somewhere there is someone who is your exact match. I was O.B.S.E.S.S.E.D with you! I couldnโt get enough. Youโd think my first impression about you was wrong and as I got to know more about you, Iโd change my mind. But it was the exact opposite. The more I knew, I surer I got. I found a happy place in my life, everyday religiously watching you do weird stuff that convinced me more and more that yeah, he is the one. Ironically though, I never wanted to do anything about it. I thought someday weโd just meet and youโd see what I sawโ that weโre perfect for each other. I had things in my personal life to take care of and I started doing exactly that, and Divine (and other) intervention got us together. Of course initially I was a little wary and thought it was all too good to be true, but thatโs just me. Getting to know you has been one of the most special, life changing events in my life. So I have no idea why you want to start over again, or change anything about it. I wouldnโt want to change anything about any of it. You have been a wish fulfilled, a literal dream come true for me, right from the start to now. When I first saw you, I had a certain idea about you, the things you might sayโ and when you did speak to me, it was exactly how I always imagined it to be. With every word and action, you became more and more perfect to me. It was like someone made a list of everything I wished for in a person since when I was old enough to wish for things, added a ton of other wonderful things and the result was you! You have always, ALWAYS said what I wanted to hear, treated me the way I wanted to be treated. You were like this magician who always magically knew what I wanted. How did you know? How did you know what no one had ever known. And those people were so much closer to me. And so it not just confuses me but also makes me sad how you see this whole thing differently. Maybe you can do better, maybe you have better things to offer, I get that. But it was still perfect the way it was. There is no need to go over it repeatedly and wish it was different. I would never ever never want it to be any other way.
To me, you were and still are the kind of person they only talk about in fairytales. Does that mean I think you have no flaws? No. I know everyone has flaws and I have always believed that is what makes each of us unique and more special. And I have stopped buying onscreen personas since when I was like 13. Okay, maybe 15. Perfection to me is not the absence of flaws. Perfection to me is in the way I feel about someone. And I have always felt so wholesome around you, every moment spent with you was perfect. You were perfect, everything you did was perfect. If I were to sit you down and categorically tell you to do exactly as I wanted, I still couldnโt do a better job than what you had already done. Plz Iโm embarrassed to admit that I have spent days, weeks, MONTHS daydreaming about you. Repeating every word over and over and over in my head and feeling every feeling it caused in me. I donโt see the โmistakesโ that you see. Maybe you donโt see them either, and thatโs why you are confused as to why you are being punished. Then maybe you should consider the thought that you arenโt being punished? I am not keeping away because of anything you did or didnโt do, I am keeping away for my own issues. You might think I have it all figured out, but Iโm sorry to burst your bubble, Iโm still a work in progress as well. You think I have over exaggerated ideas about you? Well I think you have put me up on a pedestal and donโt see how Iโm struggling too. Do I absolutely need to be away to focus on myself right now? Absolutely. I have a tendency to be put who I love (there I said it, I wish it wasnโt said this way, but I guess this is the need of the hour) before me, and lose myself in the process. And unless I learn how to prioritizing another person without de-prioritizing myself, I need to be by myself. Have you ever felt like this connection was getting the better of youโ that you had no control over yourself whatsoever? Thatโs how it has felt for me too. I need to find my own footing before getting involved in anything at all. Do I seem stubborn and difficult? Good. Because I have been easy and impressionable before and it has taken everything away from me. You must understand, this has got nothing to do with you. These problems have existed in my life before you came, and they will continue to exist unless I take care of them. You might think you can solve all my problems, if only we were together. Thatโs not true. The problems are inside of me. You can, at best, distract me from them. Only I can truly uproot them. Not only is this my duty here on earth, it is my right to be able to do that, and I am going to defend my right, whether or not you agree with me, and no matter how mad it makes you. It is never my intention to hurt you or anger you, but if thatโs the price I have to pay, so be it. And it doesnโt even have to be about problems either. I have the right to live my life the way I want to. Always. Whether or not you are in my life. And I have the right to do so without having to explain myself. This is something I have learnt pretty late in my lifeโ I really used to be the exact opposite. I have spent YEARS unlearning that pattern and I am not going to abandon my beliefs anymore, not even for you. And Iโm not even apologetic about it. If there is any love in this connection, it will honour my freedom and my choices. Even if I abandoned myself right now โout of loveโ, and years later when I realize the folly in that, Iโd forever hold you responsible for that and hate you all my life. Thatโs not going to be a very successful connection, is it? My morals, principles and beliefs are what make me who I am. Abandoning them is literally changing me, might as well change my face with surgery. They are staying with me until my last breath. Anyone who wants to be in my life has to respect and accept that. You donโt have to though. And I really want to make sure you understand this. I donโt expect you to do anything that you donโt want to do. Nothing at all. When you had no idea I existed, I liked you even then. The point is, my liking or loving you isnโt dependent on what you do or donโt do for me. It has everything to do who you are. Now, you might not see yourself that way. You might think you are nothing special to be liked or loved. You might feel the need to do a ton of things so that people like you. But you see, thatโs all just you, not me. Donโt project your feelings on to me. For me, you have always been special and everything you have ever done has been special. Now, the answer to the difficult question: have I ever been hurt by you? Yes. But I have never thought it was your โfaultโ. For me it was always my fault that I was too reliant on someone elseโs opinion of me, and a push to the direction of learning to be self-validated. And it was a huge leap in my growth! To be honest, I donโt entirely know what fault you hold yourself responsible for. I have no idea what โwrongโ choices you have made. All I see is, you had prior commitments and you chose to honour your commitments. You chose to stick with the people who were there in your life long before me. Not only do I respect you more because of it, it has always been a very attractive quality about a person to meโ being mindful of everyone in their lives. The only thing that makes me mad is when you fail to realize that I have the right to do the same. You can choose to fight me over my freedom and ways of dealing with things, but know that it is a fight I will always win :p
You seek my forgiveness but it is not me who hasnโt forgiven you, it is you. You want love from me but it is not me who doesnโt love you, it is you. Fear all you want, doubt all you want, but you could inquire in 10, 20, 100 years if I love you, and the answer will still be the same: yes I do. And if you ask me 1000 times what we should do about it, my answer will also be the sameโ this really is the time to focus on ourselves. It might seem like Iโm going further away from you, but I really am coming towards you with every passing day. How and whenโ not everything needs to be known right now. If you are patient, everything will make sense when itโs the right time. Maybe then you would even hate yourself for not being more understanding, and wish that you had acted different right now. Just like you now wish you had behaved differently back then. The tighter you are holding on to this, the longer the wait is getting. Holding on tight to your love is an old paradigm. This is the time to be freely flying beside each other. I know because not very long ago, I had to make this exact choice. Either to let go of you and risk losing you forever or to hold on tightly to you and lose myself forever. I made the 2nd choice with a lot of doubt and difficulty, and it turns out that our connection has only gotten stronger from there. You feel like you are the only one in this journey but this is truly a journey of two. I assure you, every phase you cross, I have crossed it before you. There was a time I was addicted to you too. No matter where I went, what I did, who I was with, I was more interested in knowing what new weird thing Jungkook did today. Back then, nothing else was any more important than a little attention from my dream boy. And yet, there was so much anxiety and fear mixed with those experiences. Those were absolutely beautiful moments and everything I ever wished for, then why couldnโt I completely engage in them? Because I hadnโt learned to love myself yet. And so everything lacked, no matter how special. I can tell you for sure that me being in your life right now will do the exact same for you. So far you literally have followed all of my footsteps. And this is another reason for me needing to focus on myself. Until now, it was only about my own dreams and goals in life. But now I see how we are both almost tethered together in this connection, and I seem to be leading the way, arenโt I? For you to figure out the maze, I have to do that first. You know how you feel drawn to me, like you can never get enough? You might feel like it is your need to be loved by me, but really it is the need for you to follow in my next footsteps that is to focus on yourself. This is why you are never satisfied. Even when I am with you, you are still anxious about something you anticipate happening in the future. You are restless because you are not addressing the problems inside of you. You are trying to control this connection and this situation from outside, but thatโs not where the issue is. You really think Iโm some angel descended from heaven? Time to burst another bubble. I have a dark past too. I have hurt people, been destructive and done things I wish I hadnโt. The only difference? I have forgiven myself. I was young and didnโt know any better. It doesnโt help either that our society only teaches us to focus on the external things. Those mistakes didnโt define me nor will any other mistake I might make in the future. Nothing else defines me other than that I want to be happy and Iโm committed to learning how to be happy and will learn and grow all my life in pursuit of happiness. You feel like youโre attracted to me because you need a loving person in your life, but what youโre really looking for subconsciously is to learn to love yourself because you see that I love myself. There is literally nothing in this world that makes a person more attractive than self love. It is the ultimate goal for every soul and someone who masters it is a veritable flame for all moths. No amount of love is enough for the person who doesnโt love themselves. Believe me, Iโve been there. You think Iโm mad at you, but the thing is, the mire I focus on myself, the more Iโm able to understand you more. So yes, even though you make me so mad so often, it doesnโt last at all. This connection has changed me in ways that surprise me too. In my past connections, if I was hurt, I would make sure Iโd give back the same hurt back ten times so they knew what I went through. Not anymore. Very soon into this connection Iโd realized that no matter how much I was hurt, I could never bring myself to do the same to you. And gradually I learnt to not be hurt at all in the first place. Because I always understand where you come from. And I always will. Not because Iโm some saint, but because I have been through all of that. You are not wrong in wanting to be loved, or wanting assurance. Itโs been a tough journey hasnโt it, being through situations and people that have distorted your perception of your own self? So much so that you now believe you are that person. But if you really were, then why did I see someone else when I first saw you? And after all this time, why do I still see that same person? No matter what happens in between, why hasnโt my perception changed of you? How is it that we are both looking at the same but different person? You might argue that your version of you is more accurate, not mine. Then why do you believe so strongly that your version of ME is more accurate, that you are ready to fight with everyone else over it? Why do you believe so strongly that you just KNOW me? Because as Twin Flames we are lucky to have someone designated to see ourselves in our divinity when we have forgotten that about ourselves. At this point, I donโt even care what you think about yourself. I know what I know and nothing and no one is ever going to convince me otherwise. Flaws and all, you are perfect to ME. But no one can convince you of that better than yourself. Unless you forgive, love and accept yourself, you will always feel like thereโs not enough love in your life. No matter how many times we go over this, this is where it will always end up at.
Donโt get me wrong though, I feel your change and transformation. I feel your heart opening up, I feel you getting more and more vulnerable. And I know itโs scary. But this is the only way. When I had to let go, I realized what terrified me the most was if I was going to lose the โfeelingโ that existed then. The whole dreamy, head-over-heels, giggling like a little girl, and getting unmentionable thoughts 24/7 type of love feeling (yes is it that hard to believe it exists?) As it turned out, not only did the feeling not go, it transformed into this beautiful version where I have so much more control over itโ I can feel this way when I decide to, instead of it being all over the place before. Ironically here, you feel like falling constantly when you hold on. You find your ground when you let go. Does it seem like I donโt think about you at all? The reality is, Iโm just more at peace with these feelings. Instead of fighting them or trying to get rid of them, I let them stay with me with the instructions that they let me do other things like work, and they stay quietly beside me all day, and only get activated when I want them to lol. You are suffering because you are trying too hard to get an outcome, a result out of it, Iโm just here enjoying the ride, wherever it takes me. If I leave you, you will be shattered, probably feel betrayed and unable to trust anyone else. If you leave, Iโll love you regardless. I have nothing to gain from this, and yet I gain the most beautiful, precious things from it every single day. All because I let go. I let go, not of you, but of my expectations of an outcome. In return, you stayed. And with you, the most high vibrational feelings that literally poets write about, singers sing about, and people everywhere spend all their lives looking for. I found them right where I was. It does make me sad to see you in pain but I know itโs only temporary and more than that, essential to get to where you must get in this lifetime. But it doesnโt have to be that painful. It took me years to understand certain things, and if I could teach just one thing, it would be acceptance. Resist less, accept more. Accept situations as they are. And watch them magically transform. The last thing, if you really, REALLY want to do something for me, something that would make me happy, and if I do in fact, have the right to ask for something from youโ it is that you put yourself first right now. Independent of me. Pretty please. I know Iโm kinda awesome and hard to resist lol but there must be things that you have wanted to do that had nothing to do with me. Explore yourself without judgement. And allow me the freedom to do the same. There is no one I want more than you in my life, but there are things I want to explore and do which have existed way before you came into my life. If I couldnโt do them, I would hate you for the rest of my life and I definitely donโt want that. I donโt want to rush a connection so special and rare. I donโt want to start something not knowing for sure that I can be consistent with. Whatever I start is going to be forever and for that we both need to be 100% ready without any doubts or reservations. If weโre not there yet, thatโs alright, we should have enough time to prepare. Just know that no matter what happens, this connection is not going anywhere, and these feelings are not going away, cuz they never have. And IF, in the rare occasion that it has to end, know for sure that it will be decided by two people, not just one. It is the right of both people who are working towards this connection. Believe in Divine magic and timing. Weโre going to be alright.
Enclosing Iโd like to say: Are you a dictionary? Cuz youโre adding meaning to my life. Are you a camera? Cuz every time I look at you, I smile. Do you have a pencil? Cuz I want to erase your past and write our future. (Okay thatโs enough Google search for today)
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๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐
and basic shit you should know before interacting I guess~
*Disclaimer: all the information this post contains will be based on things Iโve learned over the years and my personal modifications are NOT to be taken as the general rule. This is MY abo concept for this bot in particular. Yall are free to agree, disagree, take ideas, adapt to your own bot, etcetcetc. Bye. Also sorry this doesn't have a read more;;;; I tried :(
Hello, this is (not) JYPe,
and welcome to the first episode of โAdminโs abo concept isnโt probably what you think so we gonna go in dept on this shit hehe โ. This was originally going to be a one part documentary but I realized I would probably keep coming up with or remembering stuff and these would be so LOOONG so I decided to just do it as I go and Iโll use the hashtag โadmins abo tmi โ for this yeah. But also remember you can ask questions if you have any or if you donโt understand something because I usually ramble a lot.
Today weโll be talking about 3 things that seem to be the most important since theyโre the most brought up on my RPโs and they are:
Turning/Transforming.
Heat vs Rut.
Mates.
So letโs begin!
๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐๐/๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
Thereโs two meanings to this concept, one is the concept of turning from human form to wolf form, and the other one is being transformed into a wolf by different means (these usually depends on which story youโve heard, it can be being the 7th boy child in a family, it can be a bite or a scratch, it can be eating raw meat, etcetcetc).
*This change has now also been added to the Chanโs pack introduction.
What are the definitions of this words? Cambridge Dictionary defines them as:
Turn: to (cause to) become, change into, or come to be something.
Example: โChan turned into his wolf formโ
Explanation: Chan, already a werewolf, turned and changed into his wolf form.
Transform: to change completely the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that that thing or person is improved.
Example: โChangbin was transformed into a werewolf.โ
Explanation: Changbin, a regular human, was transformed /by a wolf/ into a werewolf.
๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
In the classic folklore, turning consists of 2 phases, human with NO wolf characteristics whatsoever, (which is what makes it so hard finding out who the werewolf in town is) and fluffy wolf with some human like characteristics (being biped, having arms instead of four legs, body structure humanlike. The best examples I can think of are the underworld lycans mmm tasteful). Another general rule for classic werewolves was that the person and wolf were two different minds, the person never remembered turning and had no idea they were the werewolf terrorizing town. While being human, the person didnโt even have the wolf skills like hearing or strength. They were just regular boring humans. Another thing was that they had no control whatsoever and ONLY turned during full moon, but Iโm not getting into that yet.
Here are some examples (itโs basically furries oop).
Moving on to my concept, I decided to have 3 phases of turning, consisting on:
Human: Basic, simple, boring human. No presence of wolf features whatsoever. YET they can still make use of their skills such as sensitive hearing, smell, extra strength among others.
Half-turn: Heavily inspired by Teen Wolf tbh, SOME features are present and can generally be controlled, such as eyes, ears, tail, fangs, claws. Can even be confused for hybrids. (sumn like this please appreciate my art)
Full-turn: they become big scary fluffy puppies. Letโs remember how they look like.
Channie Chan Chris
๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ
As mentioned before, transforming depends on which story you know and what youโre settling for. Generally we always talk about bites and deep scratches. Some of the most known stories about how to become a werewolf are being the 7th boy child born in a family on a full moon, or in Greek mythology, Zeus transformed some dudes into wolves after they tried to feed him human meat. Thereโs many different stories you can pick from, theyโre just one Google away~
On my concept, though, the only way to transform is through a bite, even though I always keep options open.
I will probably be talking about the 3 types of wolves and deepening this a bit more later on.
๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฝ๐๐.
Imma give you a wolf biology class because I know too much useless info and I WANT TO.
Rut: The rut is the mating season of certain mammals. The rut is characterized in males by an increase in testosterone, exaggerated sexual dimorphisms and increased aggression and interest in females.
Heat: The estrous cycle or oestrous cycle is the set of recurring physiological changes that are induced by reproductive hormones in most mammalian therian females. Estrous cycles start after sexual maturity in females and are interrupted by anestrous phases or by pregnancies. This cycle presents four phases, the one known as โheatโ being the second one, estrus or oestrus, that refers to the phase when the female is sexually receptive.
What are seasonal breeders and what is mating season?
The breeding season is when seasonal breeders reproduce. Seasonal breeders are animal species that successfully mate only during certain times of the year. These times of year allow for the optimization of survival of young due to factors such as ambient temperature, food and water availability etcetc. Male seasonal breeders may exhibit changes in testosterone levels, weight, and fertility depending on the time of year. Female seasonal breeders will have one or more estrus cycles only when she is โin seasonโ or fertile and receptive to mating.
Wolves fall in all of these descriptions.
What does all of this shit mean and why do I care lmao?
This means that if this was a logical bot I should only be doing NSFW like one week during 4 months a year LMAO no frfr
This basically means that RUT and HEAT are the seasons when the MALE and FEMALE respectively are ready to mate with each other to reproduce.
Iโve seen many male idol hybrids having heats instead of ruts, which I have no problem at all with and am sure no one else does really, but I think you should KNOW that a heat would not make them want to fuck, but get fucked. Heat would be the need to be filled and not fill others. A heat and a rut does NOT have to equal dominance or submissiveness in bots, anyway, that would be like saying being top or bottom determines who is dom/sub and thatโs wrong, so just a PSA I guess.
Now, how does this affect my CB and ABO concept?
Iโve never, anyway, read anywhere of classic werewolves reproduction, which leads me to believe that theyโre probably sterile. So I will stick to real life wolves rules but on my own way. Wolves are even monogamous and I dont go by that one lmao.
Reproduction rules on my ABO are really simple, ruts are once a month, around 5 days, and each of the guys have different characteristics for them. Theyโre only capable of getting someone pregnant during ruts, too. I just generally believe all girls are on the pill tbh and I never really use condoms but guys irl please practice safe sex wrap your or your partners willy before going freaky and stay safe.
Not sure if thereโs something else to mention here? Let me know.
๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐โฆ
Mates are the wolf equivalent of soulmates, but thatโs bullshit. I mean, Iโm not gonna say theyโre not real, I just mean that the general idea of only one person for the rest of your life and if itโs not them youโre miserable is dumb when weโre talking about beings with feelings. Did you know wolves irl are monogamous and mate but if their mate dies they just look for another one and move on? Now you know.
The thing with mates and marks, in my humble opinion, is that they donโt mean anything. Peoples hearts change, feelings come and go, and my wolves are NOT about to drop everything they have for some person they donโt know who happened to be their true mate. In fact, Channie is the only one who believes in them. The mates issue is a bit complex if we think about it over each of the Chanโs, but on a general idea, the mates are not exclusive for the guys, and Iโll probably make a tmi on the boys at some point, but Chan met his mate and it didnโt work out, for example. Mates go further than the marking, btw, mates are a special, cosmic bond. Marks are just that, marks.
And talking about that, we do not vibe with marks. The original folklore states marks as the way a wolf has to claim their partner as theirs and keep away others, especially from an alpha, and theyโre supposed to go both ways, so marks between human/wolf, for example wouldnโt be possible. Thereโs also two marks.
The first bonding mark is generally given during sex between mates and heals, and the second one in front of the pack (thereโs a whole social status thing involved here but were not touching that yet) and its permanent. Also marks are literal WOLF BITES so no, theyโre neither small nor cute. Just look at these teethies and picture the scar in a neck-shoulder. Thatโs your bonding mark.
(they're cute tho I uwuuu)
What Iโve been reading around in fanfics and seeing around is that bots have been mated and claimed with marks, which is ok if youโre into that. My chanโs, though, find physical marks archaic, possessive and toxic. And honestly I personally do too.
You may have noticed by now that even though the boys are quite possessive, theyโre never trying to scare away others and their sole way of marking is love marks that heal eventually and scenting. Permanent marks are a nono.
They will NOT mark anyone as their mate. Especially Channie plz heโs baby.
This is a personal decision and it does not mean that marking is RIGHT or WRONG. I just personally see marking bites as marking your partner with fire or something and I dislike the idea a lot.
ALRIGHT I THINK THATโS ABOUT IT FOR TODAY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE TOO MUCH ALREADY??? Feel free to ask questions or request certain topics! I think next topics will be Social Structure, Skills and maybe Self control or Moon Cycles.
If you read all of this WOW CONGRATS??? I LOVE YOU EXTRA MUAH
One question I got on the asks was โsince their fur color seems to correspond with their hair color, what happens if they dye their hair?โ
Nothing happens babe! When theyโre half turned they will have really funny colorful hair, but when they fully turn their fur stays the same! hehe Donโt worry, Chan wonโt be a clown red wolf heh
OK BYE MUAH MUAH
Tags (hmu for removal:] if you donโt care about this hehe)
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