#OH MY GOD APOLLO'S WATCHING THE UHH MV FOR NEW ENSTARS SONG I THINK?
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it's already monday T_T
#🌙.vent#help wait fuck i rmembered i was writing some stuff to myself earlier but now i forgot#OH YEAH WAIT dump ehe#i have this collab playlist w apollo n our ffxiv friend n#it has 3 likes which makes me so curious bcs that means someone else other than those two^ yeah#OH MY GOD APOLLO'S WATCHING THE UHH MV FOR NEW ENSTARS SONG I THINK?#CAFE FUCK N#SHU. SHU MY BELOVED#KOGA????? KOGA SINGING LIKE THAT????? BRO. BROOOOOOOOO#yk what i feel better again just laughing smiling n talking to apollo here by my side 🥹#help no wait i#there's really so so much i want to do n it's just the pressure of time that gets to me#i'm. placing this weight n burden on myself#no one else but me#easier said than done to let myself free from it in times where it's particulatly overwhelming#no i'm fine :c#i'm fucking fine i have to be i am definitely absolutely fine#hdkfjsjfks 🥹#i'll be back to normal in a bit#i have to be#this is just temporary as always n then i'll find the energy again to do wtvr i want n#yeah yeah it will eventually come around as well#it has to oh my god#i can't wait around for better circumstances to come i need to take it upon myself#to push myself or wtvr#no i need to be back to my usual i can't get anything fucking done if i succumb to this again#earlier i was doing better n now i'm not & i know i can't be well all the time but#my mind's just running around in circles this is pathetic i should be doing better i shldnt be so harsh on myself too but 🥹#sigh i don't want to pretend im fine n put on a facade but i need to do sm in life. i can't waste time sad but i dont feel real or alive rn#it hurts.... i need a break i need to rest somehow but i really really can't. hjdksjf it hurts but i also feel so empty i rlly dk anymore;;;
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