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#Not me missing out on having a romantic partner.
crashandlivewrites · 2 days
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Cherry Pie
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A wondering happy birthday to my sweet Cherry @soapsgf who wanted some soft and sweet romantic smut with big dicked Simon. This one's for you, darling <33
Pairing: Simon Riley x fem!reader (Cherry)
Summary: It's been a while since you've been intimate with a partner, and Simon takes good care of you.
CW: MDNI 18+ content, NSFW, cunnilingus, fingering, consent checks, first time between partners, big dick Simon, unprotected piv, creampie
Word Count: 4.2k :))))
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Simon was your first partner after a long, long stint of failed dates. You’d met him by chance, out one night with a group of friends when you’d bumped into a solid mass of muscle walking out of a bar. He’d caught you, set you right on your feet with a few words of being careful of your surroundings before seemingly melting into the shadows, despite his size. 
The next morning, you’d stopped by a local cafe. The barista called your name and you grabbed your drink, spinning around quickly only to have a heavy set of hands grip you tightly. Panicking for a moment, you looked up, ready to try and fight off your attacker, when you took in the strangely familiar face. 
“You’re… you…”
“That’s twice within twelve hours, sweetheart. Starting to think you’re making a habit of this.” His voice was accented, deep, and gravelly, making your hair stand on end. 
“I didn’t meant to— I’m sorry—” 
“It’s fine, doll. You couldn’t take me out even if you tried.” He huffed out a chortle at that and you felt your face shift into an expression of mild amusement. Then, with a surge of confidence you weren’t even aware you possessed, you met the heavy gaze of his dark eyes. 
“No, but I can give you my number, and then maybe you can take me out instead.” 
The man blinked, the smile still ghosting on his cheeks as he tilted his head, watching you. Suddenly, it felt like he was scrutinising every aspect of your appearance and you ducked your head, feeling your face heat. 
“Ah forget it, sorry, I just—” You’d moved to exit the cafe, but a firm arm wrapped around your waist. 
“I’ll take you up on that offer, if it’s still on the table.” Blinking in surprise, you looked up at him. One corner of his lips was twitched up into a smirk, his brow slightly raised and you couldn’t help but feel your lips pull into a grin as you nodded. 
“Name’s Simon.” He told you as you quickly scribbled your number on a piece of paper. As you handed it to him, he opened in and frowned slightly. “No name?” 
“Take me on that date, Simon, and you might be lucky enough to get it.” The smile that broke out on his face made your stomach flip, and somehow you knew this was the start of something. 
Several months down, you and Simon had settled into a steady routine. Whenever he was back from deployment, he slotted himself neatly into your life, as if he hadn’t missed a beat. It was refreshing, to have someone like him, someone who was willing to work through things, instead of ignoring them. 
Including sex. 
You’d first breached the topic with him a few months in. He’d come back from deployment and there was something about him in his gear, still sweaty and dirty from his time out. Simon had stood there, leaning against your doorframe as you’d opened the door and you felt your heart rate pick up. 
The look in your eyes had clearly sparked something in him, and he surged inside, kicking the door closed and pressing his mouth to yours. He steered you towards the couch pressing you against the back of it before one of his hands ran up the back of your leg roughly, hitching it around his waist. 
In a moment of panic, realising where this was going, you broke the kiss, a firm hand placed in the centre of his chest. Though his brows furrowed, he acknowledged the look on your eyes, and slowly let you down. Fear bubbled inside you at the thought of possibly upsetting him, but he placed a reassuring hand on your cheek. 
“It’s alright, doll. Just talk to me.”
“It’s… been a while.” 
“We don’t have to do anything,” He said gently, thumb stroking your cheekbone. “Not until you’re ready.” 
“But you want it—” A thumb pressed against your lips, stopping your words before you could finish your sentence.
“It doesn’t matter what I want, lovie. If you’re not feeling it, or you’re not ready, I’m not going to force it.”
Swallowing thickly, you looked up into his earnest eyes and realised that, yes, he’s different from the rest. 
“I still want to kiss you, though.” Your words were softly spoken, but were met with a chuckle as Simon tilted your head back, cupping your head. 
“Kissing I can definitely do for you.” 
The time came a month or so later. Simon had messaged in the early afternoon, telling you to get all dolled up and pretty because he was going to take you out for the evening. He turned up at your doorstep, dressed in cleanly pressed black pants with a black button-down shirt he’d rolled up to expose his thick forearms. You couldn’t help but let your mouth drop open slightly as he leaned against your bedroom door, watching you as you fiddled with your hair. 
Turning around, you got a better look at him, allowing your eyes to unabashedly trace over his broad, thick body. Chuckling, Simon stepped forward, making his way over to you. As he stood in front of you, the soothing scent of cologne wafted over towards you. Unable to stop the sound, you let out a breathy whine and he smirked.
“See something you like, doll?” His hands slid up and down your sides before leaning down to press a kiss against your cheek. “Come on, we’ll be late.” 
He’d made you feel spoiled, treating you to an exquisite dinner at some ridiculously fancy place. You were unable to stop your eyes flitting over to him and admiring just how damn attractive he was as the pair of you sat in the low ambient lighting of the restaurant. Finally as you were headed back home, you were struck with the idea that maybe, just maybe, you felt ready. Simon had always made you feel safe, why should this be any different?
When you arrived home, Simon knelt down, lifting one of your legs up gently to remove your shoes. Placing a soft kiss to your knee, he gently lowered it back down with a hand on the back of your calf. He repeated the process on the other leg before pushing himself up to press a kiss to your cheek. He made a move to walk away, but your hand on his wrist stopped him. 
Though you didn’t talk right away, Simon stood there patiently, waiting for you to find the words.
“Simon...” You murmured trailing off as the words evaded you, choosing to flutter your lashes up at him instead. He looked at you, eyes darkened, tilting his head slightly as he calculated his next words
“What’s on your mind, doll?” 
“I want you.” The words were soft, but firm. Simon, the tease that he was, lifted a brow in mock surprise. 
“You want me to do what?” He smirked, staring down at you expectantly. The grip you had on his wrist tightened. 
“I’m ready. And I want— no— need you to fuck me, Simon.” You could see the change in him, as if a switch had flicked over in his mind.  
“Are you sure?” His voice was rough, layered thickly with desire, but still present enough to look deep into your eyes. “Need to hear those words again, pretty girl.” 
“Yes, Simon,” You assured him, chest rising and falling as you breathed heavily, “I want you.” 
The words broke his resolve and he dove in to seal his lips against yours, moaning softly at the contact. He’d kissed you countless times before, but even you could feel the difference in this one. It was intense and heated, his hands sliding up and down your back and squeezing at your body before he quickly pulled back, panting. 
“Anything that’s too much— too quick— too rough, you tell me, promise?” The gruffness made your hair stand on end, and you shivered in his arms.
“I promise, Si.” Groaning, he pressed his face into the crook of your neck, one large hand cupping the back of your head as he nipped along the column of your throat. 
“I’m gonna make you feel so good lovie, I promise.” Letting out a soft whine, you ran your hands down his chest, squeezing the soft flesh around his waist as you pulled him closer to you, pressing your hips forward. Simon’s breath hitched before he let out a growl. 
“Bedroom. Now.” 
The pair of you hurriedly made your way to the bedroom, mouths never leaving each other’s as you finally felt the doorknob and pushed it open. Having barely stepped into your room, he broke the kiss, spinning you around so he could tug down the zipper of your dress. Moaning softly, he allowed his hands to caress your bare skin as he mouthed up your neck once more. The dress fell to the floor, leaving you almost bare compared to his mostly clothed body. 
He spun you around and, with frightening ease, Simon lifted you up, hooking your legs around his waist as he strode quickly over to the bed. Placing you down gently, he pushed you back so you hit the pillows. Nudging your legs apart with his thighs, he ran his hands over your legs, cupped your ass before sliding up your back. 
“So fucking pretty for me.” He whispered, eyes heady as they stared down at you, hair fanning over the pillow as your chest rose and fell rapidly. Unable to hold himself back, Simon threaded a hand through your hair, gently pinning you to the bed as he lowered his mouth to your neck once more.
Your hands moved to the buttons of his shirt, tugging them open so you could get your hands on the glorious expanse of his chest. His skin was rough, littered with lumps from old cuts and scars, and you wanted to map every bit of it. He seemed to be doing the same to you. His large, calloused hands tracing up and down your body, worshipping every inch of skin as his mouth kissed down your chest and stomach. 
“Lemme taste that pretty pussy of yours.”
Pulling up, he lifted your hips and tugged your underwear off, before pausing, eyes drawn down to the drenched fabric. Running a thumb over it, you watched as his face pulled into a smirk before he tucked the panties into the pocket of his slacks. 
“Still feeling alright, lovie?” A brow was raised in question as he looked at you, fingers tapping on your hip as he waited for a response. 
“Yeah. Please.” Reaching for his hands, you squeezed them gently, causing him to let out a chuckle. 
“Good girl.”
Settling down between your legs, he pushed them apart before dragging his tongue up your wet slit and moaning as he did so. It was wet, messy, and sloppy, but god it felt good to have someone tonguing your pussy like they knew how to. 
Drawing your lip between your teeth, you cut off a moan that was threatening to break free when Simon pulled away to stare up at you. 
“None of that now, doll. Let me hear you. All of you.” He grunted, sealing his mouth back over your cunt with determination. As he moaned, the vibrations ran through you, making you shiver and gasp. Hearing the sound of your breath hitching, he dug his fingers into your hips, pulling you harder against his mouth. That action made a moan break from you, hands threading through the short, blonde hair as he ravished you. 
It wasn’t long before you felt the familiar, toe-curling feeling you’d only been able to give yourself and your breathing change, morphing into soft pants and pleas as your fingers tightened in his hair. Instead of changing his rhythm like you’d had other partners do, Simon kept the same, allowing you to press and roll your hips over his mouth and you needed to find the right spot. 
When you did, your whole body twitched as you let out a moan, arching your back as your legs shook. Simon practically growled into your cunt, eyes flashing open to stare up at you, taking in every slight reaction you gave him. Looking down, you stared into his eyes, dark and hungry which caused your stomach to flip. 
Brows drawing together, your body shivered and you reached down to grip one of his hands as your mouth dropped open as you felt your orgasm wash over you with a cry of his name. Simon grunted, letting out a moan of his own and held you tight to his mouth as you climaxed. 
Breathing heavily, you groaned softly, pushing at his head, but he refused to move, mouth moving down so the ridge of his nose pressed against your clit as he tongued your cunt. He pressed a thumb to the hood of your clit, flicking over it as his other hand kept tight hold of your leg, pressing his tongue deep into you. 
Groaning at your taste, he didn’t stop until he felt your walls shaking around his tongue and your hands tugged more viciously at his hair as you moaned loudly. Managing to get your foot into his shoulder, you shoved him back, looking down to see his smug grin, chin wet and shining with your slick. 
“Still good, lovie?” Though his face was feral, his voice was soft and questioning. Choking out a laugh, you clapped a hand over your eyes. 
“Yeah… just… fuck.” He hummed in approval, pushing himself up to slide up next to you, his hand tracing lightly up your thigh. 
“Need a break?” The smug grin was back as he looked down at you, earning him a slap to the chest. 
“No, but I can help you—” Before you could even begin to reach down for his trousers, he gripped your hand and pinned it above your head. 
“No need, pretty girl. This is about you.” 
“But you—” He pressed his mouth to yours, kissing you deeply as you tasted yourself on his lips. Tracing a hand over your chin, he pulled away, looking down at you.
“This is about you.” He repeated, with more sincerity. “For you, at your pace. Do you want to keep going?” 
“Yes!” The reply was quick your mouth, barely before he’d even finished the question. A wolfish grin spread over his face and his hand gripped your hip. 
“Good fucking girl.” He groaned, hand moving to trail his fingers between your legs. Circling your clit slowly, he breathed soft words of praise into your ear as you whined for him, rolling your hips to meet his rough digits. 
“Look at you. So soft for me. So pliant. You’ve been desperate for it, haven’t you? Don’t worry, doll, I’m gonna make it so good for you.”
As if it were the easiest thing for him, he brought you closer to another orgasm. You could feel the heat coiling in your gut as he kept rubbing over the sensitive bud, pinning your legs apart with his. 
“Don’t hide from me, pretty girl. Let me see everything. Wanna know how good I’m making you feel, how wet you are for me.” 
“Simon…” Your back arched, hand reaching out to grip his body for support. He drew you into his chest, fingers unrelenting between your legs as he held you against the firmness of his chest, covered by a soft layer of fat. Tipping your head back on his shoulder, you gasped out another moan as you came yet again. 
“Fuck yes. My good girl. Look so pretty when you come for me like that. Gonna finger you now, yeah? Stretch that tight cunt out nice for me.”
Mewling in his arms, you turned your head, shaking it slightly. 
“Cock, Simon. Want your cock.”
“I know you do, greedy girl. But patience for me, yeah?” 
“No!” Whining, you pressed your hips back against his. Letting out a huff, Simon moved quickly. Pushing you down onto the bed, he nestled himself between your legs, dress shirt crumpled as your eyes trained down to the swelling bulge in his pants. Smirking, he raised a brow. 
“Yeah, pretty girl. That’s why. Gimme your hand.” Grabbing your wrist, he pulled it down so your palm was pressed against his crotch and he thrust his hips forward. Squeezing your hand around him, you took in the full weight and thickness of his cock, and swallowed thickly. 
“Fuck you’re big.” You blinked your eyes up to him, and the corner of his lips twitched into a wider smile. 
“Exactly, my pretty doll. Need to make sure you’re all nice and lax for me. Need to get that pretty cunt all soaked and messy before you even think about getting my cock.”
Releasing your wrist, he turned his attention back to your pussy, where one of his thick fingers circled your entrance, collecting your slick. Smirking darkly, he leaned down and spat directly on your cunt, making you jerk and moan at the feeling. Spreading his saliva, he plunged his finger into you, and the pair of you moaned in sync. 
He was a vision between your legs. Still mostly clothed, but looked debauched with his shirt pulled open and the sleeves rolled up. The black ink on his tattooed forearm rippled as he thrust his fingers into you. Grunting, his jaw clenched as his eyes were trained on your pussy, watching the wetness soak his finger. 
“Look at you, so fucking eager for it. Can feel you clenching around me. Think you can fit another finger?” Without much preamble, he slid in a second finger with a low breath. “Good girl. Good fucking girl. God, you feel so good. Can’t wait to feel this tight little pussy round my dick.” 
Squirming underneath him, you clung to the sheets, keeping your legs spread for him as your eyes rolled back into your head in pleasure. 
“Fuck, Simon… oh my god.” The erotic, slick sound of his fingers entering your cunt repeatedly filled your ears. Panting, you reached out a hand and gripped his shirt. 
“No no no, not done yet. You’re getting another in you. Come on, pretty thing. You can do it, you can do it, I know you can. Be good for me, yeah?” 
You couldn’t resist. Between the sound of his voice, the way he pinned you so easily against him, the way his fingers curled inside of you… 
A third finger pressed at your entrance and you sucked in a breath, eyes flashing open as you stared into his eyes. The fist you had clenched in his shirt tightened, pulling him down as you grit your teeth. Simon lowered his head, pressing his forehead against yours as the third finger slowly pressed in. 
A guttural moan broke from your throat at the burn of the stretch, but also from the orgasm that he pulled out of you. Swearing, Simon grunted, his fingers plunging into you a little faster as he took advantage of your climax. 
“Good girl. Fuck, look at you. Shit, the sounds you’re making…” His voice cracked as he moaned, breathing turning shaky as you writhed in his arms, pussy pulsing around his fingers. 
With a low growl, Simon pulled his fingers out of you with a wet sound as he yanked his belt off with one hand and pushed his pants down. Gathering yourself enough, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows to watch him. As his cock sprang out from his underwear, you let out a shocked gasp, eyes widening as you took in his cock. 
It was long and thick, with a ruddy head. His balls hung heavy, making you shift your legs wider in anticipation. The action wasn’t missed on Simon, and he grinned hungrily. Spitting on his hand, he used the combination of your slick and his saliva to pump his cock as he ripped at his shirt, pulling it open so you could admire his soft belly. 
The main that left your lips was whiny and pathetic as you stared between his gorgeous body and that glorious cock of his. 
“Simon please… fuck please don’t tease me.” 
“Believe me, doll. Couldn’t tease you right now even if I wanted to. Need to feel your pretty pussy wrapped around me now.” 
Shuffling forward onto the bed, he settled between your legs, tapping the flushed head of his cock on your sensitive clit, making you jerk. 
“You sure you want it, sweetheart? Last chance to back out before I’m filling your tight little cunt.” With your chest heaving, you looked up at him through your lashes. 
“Fuck me, Simon Riley. And don’t you dare pull out.” 
The look on his face turned feral as he hauled you closer, lining his cock up with your wet entrance before pressing in. Your mouth parted wide, but no sound came out as the burning stretch of his cock overtook your senses. Simon let out choked off grunts, fingers clutching into the sheets as he slowly pressed into you. 
Shallowly thrusting, he sunk deeper and his hand moved to cup the top of your head, rubbing affectionately before he finally managed to sink in all the way with a low groan. 
“I know it’s big, I know. Doing so well for me, takin’ it so nicely.” Resting his forehead against yours, Simon inhaled deeply before opening his eyes, staring down at your face. His expression softened as he reached down to wipe a stray tear with his thumb, caressing your cheekbone in the process
“Simon!” You mewled, rocking your hips as your walls clenched, the initial stretch of his cock slowly fading and the need for more slowly rose in you. However, before you could get a rhythm going, a firm hand pressed onto your hip, halting all movement and you blinked your eyes open. 
Above you, Simon’s eyes were squeezed shut with his brows pinched together. His breath was coming out in short pants as sweat beaded on his brow. Frowning, you went to push yourself up to talk to him, but the movement made him release a choked off moan and both of his hands clamped down on your hips, effectively pinning you to him. 
“Don’t— fuck— don’t fucking move.” His voice was rough, on edge as his fingertips dug into the soft flesh surrounding your hips. “Jesus fuck, you’re gripping me tight. Don’t— don’t think I’m gonna last.” 
Reaching out, you gripped his strong bicep and squeezed lightly. 
“It’s okay. Just fuck me Simon please!” 
He didn’t need any further prompting. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Simon began to shift his hips forward, dragging his cock in and out of you slowly. 
“I know, princess, I know.” His voice was hoarse as he ground himself deep into you, the rough hairs on the base of his cock brushing pleasurably against your clit as he circled his hips.
“My pretty girl,” His chest rumbled as he spoke, almost whispering the words to you, “Takin’ my cock so well. Feels so good, lovie. So tight around me.” 
Moaning your assent for him to continue and dragging your nails down his chest, nails that he’d paid for, he finally snapped. Lifting your hips, he angled you how he wanted, throwing one of your legs over his shoulders as he began to fuck into you. It felt like the wind was being punched out of your body with every thrust, but you couldn’t stop yourself crying out with every stretch of his cock. 
“Simon… god fuck! Please, need it.” 
“Fuck, baby I know. I know you do. Feel so fucking good. So fucking tight and wet around me.” Groaning, he pushed forward, placing a hand next to your head as he folded your body and thrust into you hard. You wrapped your hand around his wrist, using it to anchor yourself as you moved your hips to meet every single one of his thrusts, moaning like you were being paid for it. 
“Pretty girl… so pretty on my cock… feels like fucking heaven.” He grunted, panting as he kept his eyes fixed to your face, watching every subtle shift of pleasure that etched itself onto your expression. 
“Need to fill you. Make you mine.” His voice was becoming ragged and airy, signalling how close he was to his release. 
“I am yours, Simon. Only yours.” Whispering into his ear, you clenched your walls around his cock, making the pace of his thrusts stutter as you felt your final orgasm of the evening get pulled from your lax body, making you gasp breathlessly. 
“Oh shit.” Simon moaned, voice cracking as your walls fluttered around him. He grunted, hand gripping onto your hip as he slammed his cock deep into you once, twice before you felt his cock kick inside of you, and he came, his warmth filling you. Lowering his head, he rested it into the crook of your neck as his warm breath fanned over your skin. 
It took several minutes before either of you were coherent again. Simon was first, slowly pulling out of you, rolling you over so he could nestle behind you, holding you against his body. 
“My good girl. My sweet little cherry.” Soft kisses trailed down the back of your neck as he hummed softly, contentedly, his heart beating steadily against you. This was perfect, you thought, and you couldn’t be happier.
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Happy Birthday to you xx
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kcrabb88 · 13 hours
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Quinlan Vos and Obi-Wan Kenobi Are Not Normal About Each Other (A Thesis Statement)
Fandom: Quinlan and Obi-Wan have had sex, but it’s a reach to think they could be in love and/or care deeply about each other in some manner, it was just physical (this is not me saying I don't think they have sex I HELLA do and I've written a lot of smut to prove it, but I've seen wayyyy too many posts that basically say they can only be romantic as Padawans and NEVER as adults and/or were just fooling around as teens and didn't have deep feelings in some way whether they're FWB or romantic partners or whatever you like)
Me: *unrolls my scroll* I'm here to make a POINT as an addendum to this post I made recently.
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Look at these little darlings! They just met and Quin's already trusting Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan WANTS Quin to trust him. In another panel from this same comic, Quin helps Obi-Wan with his anxiety and it's very sweet.
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Quin's been struggling with the dark side while undercover, and everyone thinks he's really truly fallen and can't be brought back except for Aayla, Tholme, and, YOU GUESSED IT! Obi-Wan. He goes looking for Quinlan on his own and finds him and they chat. Plus, look at this flashback of these little nerds flirting. Quin literally falls into the river and almost dies trying to flirt with Obi-Wan.
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What do I even say about this panel??? Look at them!! Look at Quin trusting Obi-Wan with the dark parts of himself and Obi-Wan believing in him? Look at that hand clasp? Like shut up I can't take it.
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Obi-Wan refusing to leave Quinlan behind and Quinlan, stubborn Quinlan, listening to him.
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Their banter here shows how well they know and play off each other and that joke in the last panel SENDS ME.
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This is from the new comic that came out in September, and this is just ONE instance of several of Quinlan mentioning Obi-Wan, who only appears in this comic via a psychometric vision, but Quin keeps bringing him up anyways.
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I mean this is. THIS is what made me WANT to know more about Quinlan in the first place! It's not in this gif, but the way Obi-Wan smiles in this scene? The way his eyes light UP? That's love, babey.
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I could literally paste so much stuff from Dark Disciple, which to me has always been a QuinObi book in addition to Vostress. Quinlan has fallen (pretty much without understanding he has because he so badly wants to uncover Sidious) and missing his check-ins with Obi-Wan, but Obi-Wan keeps going back to their bar over and over again and he's been waiting for like, two hours at this point when Ventress comes in.
"Not him." Okay, buddy. Okay. Obi-Wan has like three panic attacks and outright defies his fellow council members at various points through this book because he believes so hard in Quinlan. He is INSISTENT that Quinlan can be brought back to the light.
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These two pages made me SOB.
"She saved Quinlan" in italics. Not just his life, but his spirit. Those italics speak for themselves. And "Vos knew he could never repay Kenobi for that, but he has the rest of his life to try." Do ya, Quin? The rest of your life, huh?
Anyhow, truly, this is just me scratching the surface as I was limited by only being able to use 10 photos in a post. I’m leaving out sooo many other examples. You don't have to ship them! But these guys care a lot about each other and saying that it's just, impossible for them to have romantic feelings on posts or fics where the creator is, indeed, shipping them is ... weird. So is trying to overlay other ships onto specifically QuinObi content.
This has been a PSA.
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sequinsmile-x · 2 days
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Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Sixty Five
Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.
-x-
Hi besties <3
As always, the love for this version of them means the entire world. Look, you're going to yell at me a little for this chapter and I deserve it...so please let me know what you think!
-x-
Words: 3.1k
A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List.
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Emily sighs as she rolls onto her back, her hand resting over her eyes as she tries to will herself to fall asleep. She turns her head and looks at the baby monitor and she reaches out to activate the video, smiling sadly when she sees Lily fast asleep. She strokes her finger over the slightly grainy image, no small amount of guilt simmering in her gut as she idly wishes Lily would wake up so she could go and get her from the nursery and snuggle with her. The room had never felt so empty now Lily was sleeping in her room and Aaron was thousands of miles away, the air painfully quiet without her husband’s breathing and the surprisingly loud way a baby slept. 
She felt lonely, something she hadn’t felt since her first kiss with Aaron, his love a constant companion of hers even in the moments they were apart, a warm blanket resting over her shoulders at all times. It feels distant now, as if he’d taken it with him to the other side of the world, packed it up alongside the linen clothes she’d bought him and half her heart, an ache in her chest that seemed ever-present since she’d last seen him over three weeks ago. 
They’d spoken on the phone once in that time, the satellite phone he had both unreliable and crude. They’d exchanged a few emails and she’s sure if the circumstances were different she’d find it romantic, as if they were lovers from another time, kept apart by circumstance but held together by the written word. It doesn’t stop the loneliness that would set in at night. She was used to sleeping without him sometimes because of the nature of his job, but this was different. The further away she got from having seen him the worse she was sleeping. The sheets didn’t smell like him anymore, they just smelt like her.
It makes her feel awful because she isn’t alone. Lily is with her every second she’s not at work, and Jack is with them for half a week at a time, but it’s not the same. She loves her children with every part of her, but she misses the company of her husband, his reassuring smile when Lily didn’t sleep through the night, or how he’d effortlessly make them all breakfast in the morning, the constant lingering scent of burnt toast in the kitchen now she was in charge nowhere to be found.  She misses him, her partner in everything. The way he would know something was wrong just by looking at her, the barriers she’d put in place as a kid non-existent to him, or how a hug from him seemed to fix whatever was wrong, his embrace the safest place she’d ever known. 
She’s about to turn over, to wrap her arms around his pillow and hope that somehow it’s enough to get her to sleep, and then the door is pushed open, Jack’s small frame peeking around it, his hair visibly a mess from the small amount of light filtering in from the hallway. 
“Emily?”
Her heart cracks at the shake in his voice, the obvious tears that she can hear, and she sits up, switching on the light on the nightstand as she does so. She sighs sadly when she sees him, sticky tear tracks painted down his face, his pjyamas rumbled from where he’d been sleeping. 
“Oh, sweet boy,” she says, “What’s wrong?” 
He sniffs and wipes his face, still standing in the doorway, “Bad dream.” 
“Want to tell me what happened?” She asks and he shakes his head fiercely, she smiles sympathetically and pulls the covers back, patting the mattress on Aaron’s side of the bed to encourage him over, “Want to come sit with me for a little while?” 
His response is to jump onto the bed, moving at a speed she’s sure should be impossible for someone of his size, and he’s by her side in seconds, curled up against her with his head on her chest, his hand tangled in the neckline of her t-shirt, “Did you have a bad dream too?”
She runs her hand up and down his back, shifting them so they are laying back down, under no allusion that the little boy was going back to his own bed that night, “No, sweetie, I didn’t.” 
He frowns as he tilts his head to look up at her, “Then why are you awake?” 
She pushes his hair from his forehead and the concerned look on his face, his eyebrows pinched together just like Aaron’s, makes her ache. Aaron always said that Jack looked like Haley, and whilst Emily saw that too all she could see lately was him in the little boy. His facial expressions. His unwavering kindness. His smile. It was almost as if she was seeking out little bits of her husband where she could, keeping them nearby so she could relish in them, both Jack and Lily looking more like him every day.
“I just couldn’t sleep,” she says, kissing his forehead, “But that’s okay.” 
He hums, “You were awake to give me a magic hug.”
She smiles and nods, resting her cheek on the top of his head, “I’ll always be here to do that Jack,” she says, smiling softly as he idly plays with her necklace, his tiny fingers tracing the pendant, a small disk with a lily engraved on it that Aaron had bought her. She thinks he’s fallen asleep, the room quiet again apart from his breathing, until he says her name.
“Emmy?” 
Her smile gets slightly wider at the use of the nickname, something he uses less and less these days, his voice already thick with sleep, “Yes Jack?”
“I miss Daddy.” 
She feels herself get tense, her eyes drifting closed as she blows out a breath, holding him impossibly closer, his small body getting heavier as he falls asleep. 
“Me too, baby,” she says, kissing the top of his head again, “Me too.” 
___
She curses herself for not putting her phone on silent as soon as it starts to ring. She winces to herself and quickly closes the nursery door, not wanting to undo any of the hard work she’d done trying to get her daughter to sleep. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and walks down the stairs as she answers, smiling softly to herself as she sees Penelope’s name on the screen. 
“Pen, hey is everything okay?” 
“I know what you need.” 
She has to stop herself from saying ‘my husband back’ out loud, well aware it would ruin her friend's good mood and she chuckles dryly as she walks towards the living room, “What do I need?” 
“A night out.” 
She chuckles again as she sits down on the couch, shaking her head even though her friend can’t see her, “You’d better not mean tonight.” 
Penelope sighs and Emily can almost picture the look on her face, “JJ and I got talking about it as we were leaving the office, and it’s been a long time-”
“Look, Pen I appreciate the offer,” she says, cutting her friend off before she can carry on, irritation she knows Penelope doesn’t entirely deserve sparking in her gut, “But I have Lily. Remember her? The tiny version of me? You’ve bought her enough tutus I think I could open a ballet school.” 
Emily is sure she can hear JJ in the background. She was always the sensible one, the person who sat between Penelope’s exuberance and Emily’s occasional resistance to it, the middle ground that made their friendship work. She’d rejoined the team when Aaron went to Pakistan, Derek’s temporary promotion to Unit Chief leaving a gap in the team, and despite everything Emily was pleased that she was around more often again. There’s a muffled conversation she doesn’t hear, and she finds herself staring at her wedding picture, the photo Haley had taken for them that day almost a year ago, and she sighs, closing her eyes as her gaze drops to her lap. 
“Can’t someone watch her for a few hours?” 
She scoffs and shakes her head, the spark of irritation catching fire, her friend's well-intentioned meddling the gasoline she’d barely needed.
“Who, Pen? My husband, who is on the other side of the world? My father I don’t talk to? My mother who…” she drifts off and shakes her head, her lips pressed together as she just catches herself before she reveals more than she means to, her mother’s alcoholism something she’d never shared with anyone other than Aaron, “Just…you two have fun, okay? Maybe next time.” 
She hangs up before Penelope can say anything else, or before she herself could say something that would upset her friend. She groans and places her phone down on the couch, her hands over her eyes as she blows out a shaky breath. 
“Damn it,” she grumbles to herself, reaching for the remote to turn on the tv, the silence in the house almost suffocating, and eventually settling on a reality tv show she’d fallen in love with when she was nursing Lily. She walks around the house, doing small chores she’d put off for days, packing away Jack and Lily’s toys as she goes. 
She isn’t sure how much time has passed when she hears a gentle knock on the front door. She walks towards it, very much not in the mood for whoever is there, but grateful that they hadn’t rung the bell and risked waking up Lily. She blows out a steady breath when she looks through the peephole to find Penelope and JJ on her porch. She stands there for a moment, her head resting against the wood as she debates not answering the door at all. 
“We come in peace,” Penelope says, and Emily can’t help but laugh. She shakes her head and opens the door, her eyebrow raised as she looks at her friends. JJ is holding a take-out bag from their favourite Mexican restaurant, and Penelope has three plastic cups full of a frozen drink in a carrier in her hands, her smile mischievous as she lifts them slightly, “Did you know you can get margaritas to go if you hassle the wait staff enough?” 
She sighs and stands back a little, still not moving enough to let them in, “Pen-”
“Look, I realise I went about this the wrong way,” she says, “I thought about it and-” she's cut off JJ clears her throat, her eyebrows raised as she throws Penelope an amused smile when they both look at her. Penelope rolls her eyes and looks back at Emily, “Fine, JJ told me off for getting too excited and not thinking everything through - and we brought girl's night to you.” 
She presses her lips together and swallows thicky, uncertainty still swirling through her. She twists her wedding rings around her finger and she shrugs half-heartedly, “I don’t know if I’m that much fun to be around at the moment.” 
Penelope frowns like that’s the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard, “Peaches, you’re our friend. We want to be around you all the time.” 
“And,” JJ says from behind Penelope, winking at Emily, “We brought churros.” 
She can’t help but smile and she shakes her head, sighing playfully as she steps back, finally giving them enough room to let them past her, “Fine,” she says, smiling wryly, “But next time lead with the churros.” 
They set up in the dining room, eating their dinner from the containers so she wouldn’t have to worry about dishes afterwards, and for a moment it feels normal. Emily can ignore that she hasn’t seen her husband in weeks, that she feels his absence like a physical ache. Instead, she laughs with her friends, all of her focus on the stories about the team that they fill her in on, both JJ and Penelope always happy to act as if nothing has changed. As if it was two years ago and they were asking her all sorts of questions about her relationship with Aaron that she refused to answer until she was several tequilas deep. 
She’s grateful for them, for the family she’d found in the most unlikely of places. The family she’d found right when she needed them the most. 
She’s about to suggest that they move to the living room when she hears Lily cry from upstairs and she smiles apologetically at them, “I’m going to go check on her,” she says, standing up, “I’ll meet you guys in the living room?” 
They both nod in response and she heads upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. When she makes it into Lily’s nursery the 10-month-old is standing up in her crib, supporting herself with her hands on the bars, and she’s crying loudly, her face bright red with it.
“Oh sweetheart,” Emily says, reaching into the crib and lifting her up, pressing a kiss to her dark hair as she settles her on her hip, “What’s wrong huh? I know you’re not hungry,” she says, pacing back and forth a little, sniffing the air slightly as well as patting the baby’s bottom to check it was dry, “And you don’t need a diaper change,” she tilts her head to look at her, smiling when Lily almost chases her embrace, her face pressed into her mother’s neck as she grips onto her tightly, “Oh, I see. You just wanted Mommy?” She kisses her cheek and smiles, her heart warming when Lily starts to calm down, her smile already breaking past her sadness now she has Emily’s attention, ���Mommy’s friends are here, shall we go say hi?” 
She talks quietly to Lily as she heads back downstairs, humming along to the babbling that her little girl does almost all the time now, so close to actually speaking that Emily simply did her best to encourage it. She both wanted to hear her daughter’s voice and for Lily to wait until Aaron came home, the thought of him missing out on it almost too much for Emily to bear. She smiles as she joins her friends in the living room, bouncing Lily on her hip as she tries to get her to smile.
“We have another one for girl's night,” she says, her smile getting wider as her friends both gush over the baby, always acting like it had been forever since they’d seen her, like Emily didn’t almost constantly share photos of her with the team. 
“Hi Lily,” Penelope says, reaching out for her hand, smiling when Lily grabs two of her fingers, her grip tight, “You’re the youngest member of our little gang,” she says, raising her eyebrow at her friends as she sits back, taking a sip of her drink, “For now.”
Emily rolls her eyes and sits down, making sure Lily is secure on her lap, well aware that she’d likely fall asleep again soon, “My husband is currently on another continent, Pen,” she says, sounding more playful than she feels, “You’ll have to at least wait until he gets back before you start planning for me to have baby Hotchner number 3.” 
Undeterred, Penelope’s smile only gets wider, “But you are planning on having more?” She asks, her excitement clear, “Because JJ never gives me a straight answer on if she and Will are having another one and I need another BAU baby to spoil.” 
Emily catches JJ’s eye briefly, and she sees a flash of something. It’s a moment that passes by quickly and she decided to file it away for later, a conversation she wasn’t sure how to start right now. 
“Definitely,” she says, running her fingers through Lily’s hair, smiling when her little girl looks up at her, “Have you seen how cute she is? It would be a waste if we didn’t,” she smiles at Lily, “Would you like that, baby? If Mommy and Daddy made you a big sister one day?” She tickles the baby, drawing her sweet laugh out of her, ignoring how she can feel Penelope and JJ staring at her, fascinated by this side of her that they rarely got to see, “I know Dada would.” 
“Dada!” 
They all fall silent, and Emily briefly thinks she’s imagined it. Her smile slips off her face and she looks up at her friends, and thats all it takes for her to know they’ve heard it too. “Did she…” 
JJ moves closer, one of her hands on Emily’s shoulder, squeezing comfortingly as she leans over her and picks up the wedding picture from the side table. She puts it in Lily’s line of sight as she removes her hand from Emily’s shoulder to point at Aaron in the picture. 
“Who’s that Lily?” JJ asks, her voice soft and encouraging, “Is that Dada?”
“Dada!” Lily says again, grasping at the picture before JJ can move it out of reach, not wanting Lily to accidentally drop it and then hurt herself. 
“Good job, Lil’ Peaches!” Penelope says, her enthusiasm clear, her tone matching JJ’s.
Emily barely reacts, her eyes fixed on her daughter as the baby smiles widely at the encouragement, clapping her hands together as she mirrors JJ. She feels like she’s underwater, her eyes watering as she tries to live in the moment, to enjoy one of her daughter’s firsts, but it’s muted. The colour of it dulled by Aaron’s absence, and she takes a moment to grieve the way she’d imagined this. Both of them huddled together with their little girl, one full of glee that she’d said their name first and the other pretending they were upset when they were nothing less than proud of their baby girl.
She blows out a shaky breath and smiles, pulling herself out of it, forcing herself back into the present as she lifts Lily from her lap, peppering her face with kisses before she hugs her close, breathing in the scent of her. 
“Good job, baby,” she says, clearing her throat to ignore the shake to her voice, smiling gratefully at JJ when she places her hand on her knee without saying anything, the slight squeeze she gives to the joint saying everything it needed to, “Mommy is so proud of you,” she kisses the side of Lily’s head again, “Daddy is too.” 
She wondered how she’d tell him this, how she’d break the news that he’d missed something he’d so desperately wanted, and not for the first time since he’d left she regrets ever encouraging him to go. 
-x-
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cinderella-ish · 2 days
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Yuki, Kakeru, and the boyhoods they never had
So, I was talking with my partner the other day about how Kakeru and Yuki are always touching each other (one of many reasons they're the most popular non-canonical furuba pairing on Ao3). Anyway, it got me thinking-- if we don't read all this physical contact as necessarily romantic, what are some other possible explanations? An examination:
When Yuki first meets Kakeru, he immediately gets up in his face talking about his favorite Super Sentai character, then walks him out of the student council office with an arm around his neck, despite Yuki's obvious discomfort.
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When Kakeru puts a hand on his shoulder soon after, he teases Yuki about his feminine features. Yuki bats his hand away and decides he already hates Kakeru.
In Kakeru's next appearance, he puts a hand on Yuki's shoulder, removing it when Yuki gives him a death glare.
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When Kakeru stays behind that day to needle Yuki about Tohru, Yuki is the one to initiate touch this time. This leads to the two of them sharing a moment of vulnerability and the true beginning of their friendship. Kakeru putting his thumbs up on Yuki's shoulder is also a change to the way he's touched Yuki before - it's perhaps a bit more comfortable for Yuki, who's reacted negatively to all touch from Kakeru before this. Kakeru's communicating in his own way that he'll try and consider Yuki's needs from now on.
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Next, we have the Kyoto trip, in which Yuki is still not fully comfortable with Kakeru (shown by his embarrassment when he tells Kakeru they wouldn't be friends anymore), but is starting to consider him a friend and spend time with him intentionally. We also have some sweet moments like this exchange between Haru and Kakeru, which Kakeru takes very seriously.
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After this, Yuki finally learns (some of) Kakeru's backstory when he goes to help Kakeru clean up after Machi destroyed the student council office again. Yuki gets context for why Kakeru is the way that he is, learns about the successorship conflict, and then tries out some Kakeru chaos for himself. We also see Yuki initiate touch for the third time. I think this episode is where the real shift in their relationship happened. Yuki sees that there's a wisdom to Kakeru that he wasn't seeing without that context of Kakeru's oppressive childhood-- something to which Yuki can relate all too well. In a way, Kakeru's impulsiveness and sense of fun is his own way of either reclaiming or living out the childhood he didn't get to have, along with other traits like his love of Super Sentai.
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And now, a brief aside.
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We see pretty clearly that the other three cursed Sohma boys around Yuki's age are all pretty comfortable interacting with each other physically. Kyo will roughhouse with Haru and give Momiji noogies, Momiji will hug or lean on both Kyo and Haru. These sorts of interactions began when they were young boys, and are pretty typical of boys through adolescence. Yuki, being shut in a room with Akito or alone, didn't get to have that experience of boyhood. All his physical interactions with Kyo are negative, and his physical interactions with Momiji are neutral-ish (Momiji jumps on him at the culture festival, Yuki dabs his tears in Kisa's first episode, and Yuki scolds Momiji a handful of times). (Aside within the aside: while Haru sometimes reciprocates the affection from Momiji or rough play from Kyo, he clearly has a special way of physically interacting with Yuki in the T-shape and shirt pinch, or the stroking of his chin, etc..., and he initiates touch with Yuki much more often than with the other two, likely because he noticed that as one more thing Yuki was missing out on and wanted to include him in a way that would be comfortable for him.)
So when Kakeru tells Yuki about his childhood, and Yuki gets stuck in the storage room later that episode and has a flashback to his own terrible childhood, he's already primed to open up to Kakeru about his own childhood and to start looking at the world more like Kakeru does.
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So, after that day, their friendship becomes much more physical. Yuki no longer bats away Kakeru's hand and even initiates touch more often. They roughhouse and Kakeru often puts his arm around Yuki in a gesture of affection. To me, it's a way of reclaiming those experiences they didn't get to have in their childhood-- especially the type of friendships neither of them got to form when they were younger.
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dinogoofymutated · 2 days
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Blue over you - 97' Wolverine/Gn! Reader
Wolverine's not even my guy, and I finished this in a day! Haven't finished anything in a while, so this was an accomplishment! This was mainly inspired by the song Blue over you by mason ramsey, and Too sweet by hozier!
Let me know if Logan is to OOC. I'm trying my best to learn how to write for him!
Tw! Alcohol consumption, Light angst. Open-ending.
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You can’t sleep.
Maybe it was because of the excitement of the day, the stress from grieving the professor, or what you ate for dinner. Either way, it was nearly 1 am at this point, and your pursuit of rest was fruitless. You let out a frustrated sigh, sitting up in bed and rubbing your eyes. You wonder if you could convince Jean to help you out, but you’re sure she’s asleep right now, and you don't want to wake her up. Especially not after she announced her… condition, at dinner.
It’s not that you weren’t excited. In fact, you were over the moon for your friends. Jean and Scott are important to you, more like siblings to you than they ever were just friends or classmates. Even so, after the cheers and congratulations and the celebration… The news left you with a melancholy you couldn’t quite shake. A baby. Jean and Scott, two people you basically grew up with, are having a baby- and here you are. Alone. You don’t have a partner, or a husband, or any romantic prospects, really. You’ve spent so long learning about yourself and how to protect others, you just never let yourself open up to someone like that. Sure, you’d met many people during your time as an X-man, but you had always been a hopeless romantic, and there had only ever been one man you had things for. But even so, you just… couldn’t help but feel like you were falling behind.
After a long stretch, and another sigh, you get out of bed. Maybe a drink and some air would help. The path to the little china cabinet in your room is familiar and automatic. It was a gift from the professor when you mentioned that you missed collecting things like funny-shaped teapots and such, a habit you picked up from your grandmother. You wonder if he knew that you used the wooden bottom cabinets to store alcohol. You laugh a little when you think about if he kept the information to himself, letting you have at least one little secret. He most definitely knew, you decided. You grab a random bottle of amber liquid, unable to see the label in the dark. You shrug it off, figuring that you’ll find out what it is at some point.
The halls of the mansion are dark and quiet as you make your way over to the balcony, stepping outside and eagerly breathing in the cool air. Your eyes are starting to droop already as you turn to shut the door, but you've come this far and you figure you might as well get a drink in.
You're rubbing your eyes again as you turn back around, only to jump at the sight of a figure sitting on the railing.
“Fuckin’ Christ!” You wheeze. “Logan, you scared the shit out of me!” The mutant hums, the corner of his lips tilting just slightly before falling again. You walk over next to him, setting the bottle down at your feet as you lean against the railing.
“Can't sleep?” You ask. Logan shakes his head, and you frown at him. As gruff as the guy is, he’s normally more talkative. At least, with you he is. You can tell that something wrong, and it doesn't exactly take a telepath to understand what it is.
“...You were the one who found out, weren’t you?” You ask, almost state. Logan Huffs at your question, hopping off of the railing to pace on the balcony. He presses his palms into his eyesockets, growling just slightly in frustration.
“Her smell was off. S’been off. Didn’t think anything of it until I heard the heartbeat.” He rumbles, setting his arms down. “Don’t know if I want to strangle Scott or throw him off of the roof of the mansion.” Logan’s hands flex in a way you know he’s just dying to unsheath his claws. You’re not entirely sure what to say at first as he sighs, and sits up against the far wall. He rests his head in his hands, and it hurts to see him like this. You open your mouth, before closing it again. You glance down at your feet, picking up the bottle you had grabbed earlier.
Logan doesn't seem to mind as you sit next to him, brushing against his shoulder. You screw off the top of the liquor, taking a swig straight out of it before offering him the bottle. It burns deliciously on the way down, and you smile cheekily as he raises an eyebrow at you. Nevertheless, the takes the bottle from you, hand brushing your own.
“You’re not gonna like it, by the way.” You laugh. Logan rolls his eyes, less than a ghost of a smile on his face.
“ ‘still liquor, ain’t it?” He hums, taking a swig. His face screws up as he swallows, holding the bottle out afterward to try and read the label.
“What is this?” He asks, disgusted. You can’t help but laugh at him as he gives you a tired look.
“Butterscotch Schnapps.” You answer him. “I told you that you weren't gonna like it, it’s too sweet for you.” Logan shakes his head, almost trying to get rid of the taste as he hands the bottle back and playfully shoves your shoulder.
“Not my fault you drink shitty liquor.” He grins. You feel a flutter in your chest as you smile back at him, taking another swig to mask whatever he could possibly pick up from you- The problems of pining for a man with super senses, you think, laughing slightly at your own thought.
“Guess it’s all for me then-” you start to joke, right before Logan snatches the bottle back.
“Gimme the damn bottle.” You’re giggling a little at this point as the alcohol starts to settle in just slightly. Logan rolls his eyes, still smiling as he takes another swig despite the fact he very clearly hates it.
The two of you go back and forth like this for a while. Take turns until the bottle is run dry. Your giggles have settled down, and the infamous wolverine has relaxed as you lean against him. The two of you sit in silence for a minute or two, both simply breathing in the cool night air.
“It’s okay, you know.” You mumble at some point. Logan, able to hold his liquor a lot better than you, cocks an eyebrow. He’s not sure if you even know you're talking at this point. You look like you’re bout to fall asleep, nuzzling against his shoulder with a pout on your face. He hums questioningly in response.
“It’s okay to hurt knowing that Jean’s pregnant.” Logan had almost forgotten about that, having been caught up in this moment. His face falls immediately, and he looks away from you, staring into the trees that surround the mansion. You feel your chest squeeze painfully, but either due to the drink or due to your lack of self-awareness, you continue talking. He needs to hear it, you drunkenly decide.
“It’s hard to watch someone you love be with someone else. It’s even harder to watch them move on without you. I know it hurts to watch her move on to the next stage of life without you. But at this point, the best thing you can do for her is support her because you love her, not covet what you wish you could have.” You know you sound like you’re drunkenly rambling, and maybe you are, but really, all of this is something you wish you could have said years ago. You’re sure you sound like Nightcrawler, talking about coveting and love and righteousness, but you’re not as much of a good person as Kurt is. You know that you’re no better than Logan, Pining after him for so long as he continues to pine for someone else. To be perfectly honest, You’re jealous of Jean. You’re jealous of her relationship, her happiness. You’re jealous of the fact that if she would turn around and throw everything away to be with Logan, he would take her in without a second thought. But she’s your friend. Your sister. You love her, and you cherish her happiness much more than you could ever resent her for it. You let out a pitiful chuckle, eyeing the last minuscule drop in the liquor bottle.
“Believe me, I would know.” You mumble. Logan’s brow furrows, taken aback by that. You’ve always been such a standalone, unbothered, always positive. It didn’t make sense to him.
“What do you mean by that?” He asks, but when he turns his head to look at you, you’ve fallen asleep against his shoulder.
The next morning, you wake up in your bed with one hell of a hangover. You groan at the light that drifts through your blinds, rolling over. When you finally open your eyes, you're greeted by the sight of a glass of water, and a bottle of painkillers. You’re confused at first, and then flooded with bashfulness and embarrassment when you realise who exactly had put them there. You roll onto your stomach, shoving your face into your pillow, unable to handle the embarrassment of knowing you said WAY too much last night. You can't help but smile a little though, knowing he must've cared enough to carry you back here and get you meds.
Maybe it wasn't all bad.
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puppetmaster13u · 4 months
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Prompt 115
“Seriously old man?” the rumbling voice nearly caused Tim to jump, his eyes darting away from where Ras was sitting, the Al Ghul almost seeming to perk. It was kind of hard to miss the man… teen… being? It was kind of hard to miss the owner of the voice what with how their hair looked like it was on fire. 
They motioned around at well, everything, crimson eyes looking exasperated. “Really?” They were definitely motioning towards him, interrupting Ras when he opened his mouth to talk. “No, I don’t want to hear it, I swear- Did he kidnap you?” That was definitely aimed at him. 
“N-no?” Tim was feeling slightly unbalanced and may be on hour sixty without sleep at this point, if the hour long nap was counted. “I need help finding my not-dad who's lost in time.” 
The being let out a strangled noise that Tim could nearly swear was almost another one, but couldn’t vocalize his slurred thoughts as the dude muttered something, motioning around as though he was tempted to strangle something or someone. 
Ras cleared his throat, looking almost awkward which was how Tim knew he had to be dreaming or drugged. Probably drugged. “Jordan, how good to see you, it’s been so long-”
“Can it Pops,” the being-named-Jordan scoffed, finger pointing towards the Demon’s Head. “Moms still pissed and isn’t coming back any time soon with you still pulling this shit.” 
Tim felt his brain stall, process for a moment, then process some more over what he just heard before his mouth ran before it could catch up. “Ras is married???” 
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dangerousdan-dan · 6 months
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Just when I'm trying to be more social again, something will happen that reminds me why I'm a hermit
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kristxt · 2 months
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feeling a little horrible today…
depression is beating me up and taking my eyes out to dry
I can barely keep them open and I don’t know if I should sleep or not since I’ve been feeling this way since the middle of the day and it’s still afternoon
they burn so much and my throat is dehydrated as well
joku auttaa minua
so here are some sad doodles of my child Kasper and the cacao family because theyre also depressed old men
tw empty eye socket for kasper under the cut (not very realistic but might still cause discomfort)
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mybrainproblems · 3 months
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sometimes you miss your ex bestie and then you remember they hetsplained your queerness to you and then friend-dumped you almost as soon as they got a serious partner and it's like.
yeah nah. missing them? wanting to try and patch things up? that's the devil talking.
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sparkly-skies · 4 months
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3am PMS Vse Kar Vem feelings are that I love my friends so so much and I miss them and I'm lonely because they all live at home, in Vienna, or otherwise away and also busy with their own lives and their mostly stupid boyfriends and I'm shit at socialising here because the chats at uni, no matter how nice they are, can't make up for having deep connections with friends and I don't know what kind of crack Bojan and Kris put into VKV but that line about how nothing hurts when you're in [their/someone's] arms is killing me right now, because I have experienced this by now, how everything might be awful and you're struggling to hell and back but everything is less bad and more managable, and you might even be able to relax and forget about your worries for a while, when you're with your special person/people, in a hug or just next to each other not touching at all; so now that I know that feeling of genuinely feeling 100% comfortable and at ease and dare I say at home with someone, it hits even harder when I feel lonely and alone on bad days
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callixton · 2 months
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idr if i already posted abt this but i have been in a little phase of feeling sad abt being aro bc i’ll be reading things abt happy couples and go oh that sounds nice :’) but i am literally currently in a stable and good relationship and i fucking hate it so like. no it doesn’t ur deluding yourself :(
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ai-dont-care · 7 months
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my partner and i broke up so I am now going to be a slut (I am emotionally incapable of being a slut)
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odetolovers · 7 months
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i love. cats and my girlfriend
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tiredsadpeach · 1 year
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May not feel great rn but tomorrow I get to see my best friend and we’re exchanging gifts and then afterward I’m going with my sister to pick up a cat
#I don’t talk about this best friend on here a lot lately but he’s great and I love him#platonically and romantically#I’ve had a crush on him for uhh 9 years teehee#he doesn’t know I still feel that way or at least I hope he doesn’t because I don’t wanna make him uncomfy#we dated back in 2013 but I was a pos then and cheated on him because I give in to peer pressure#I’m serious about that btw like the chick that convinced me to cheat when we were official I went over to a friends house and she thought I#would cheat on her because I was so easy to convince the first time lmao#anyway that was forever ago and I am very very different now and would kill past me tbh for that teehee#this is the best friend that stayed with me after I cut off everyone because they stayed friends with my abuser#he’s literally the fucking best and I love him so much and I hope we always stay friends despite my Crazy lol#but also CAT INFOOOO okay so me and my sister went to our local pet store and they partner with a specific shelter? idk I can’t give the#name out because the only pet store listed on their website is the one we go to and that’s too much info about where I live lmao#ANYWAY I was more just showing her the two 4 month old brothers I saw the other day because they’re cute and I was hoping I’d see they were#adopted which they weren’t but they’re chatty kittens they’ll be gone soon tbh probably snatched up for Christmas#but so I had just been there two days ago on the 16th and we went on the 18th and one new cat was there#a 1 1/2 year old black cat named Morticia!! she was so cute they had a hot pink collar and bell on her and her file said she gets along well#with dogs and other cats (perfect for us we live with our parents still so full house) and it said she loves to be held and talked to ☹️☹️☹️#and her arrival date? the 16th so I just missed her but ALSO that’s one of our family dog’s birthday he turned 5 that day!!#also learned today Morticia had three kittens who have all been adopted and you’ll never guess their names#Wednesday pugsly and thing teehee#the fact that cat is just named Thing is so fucking funny#anyway my sister was petting her and she rolled into it ☹️ got head scratches and ear rubs and THEN I was filling out the application for he#while we waited for our parents to call us back and Morticia LAID HER HEAD IN MY SISTERS HAND ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#so yeah my sister fell in love and the naming matches so well with her other cat who is about 2 years old now who’s a long haired tortoise#named Magnolia !! she’s a really chill cat who when it comes to other cats if the cat likes her she likes the cat but she’s also the younges#cat we have rn but my cats half adore her and half dgaf like my older two just want to be left alone by the animals and loved on by humans#but my younger two (8 and 5) still act like babies and run around like kittens so they love magnolia and she loves them so I have no doubt#Morticia is gonna fit in just fine and we don’t have to change her name!!#idk about y’all but we like always change our pets’ names when we adopt them and sometimes I’m glad we do because we have an anxious big#mutt doggie and we named him Chimmy which worked out well because he’s kinda silly and goofy and yknow neurodivergent but his og name?
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pepprs · 2 years
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literally the only reason i am not in as bad a mental health place as i was in in december is bc i’m done w school now and i never have to go back or deal with being a student again if i don’t want to and also bc i know there is a high likelihood that there are some big important helpful highly desired changes on my horizon in the next few months and years. but i am really not doing good right now
#purrs#scotus leaked draft + buffalo shooting + dallas shooting + uvalde shooting + monkeypox + covid cases rising + losing my last 3 weeks of#college and graduation + losing my freedom for who knows how long and moving back home + friends and family getting covid + pushing myself#to the limit finishing my capstone + watching my loved ones suffer with the situations in their own lives = is it ethical to bring children#into this world is it reasonable to think that i will one day live with autonomy again and find a romantic partner and have a pet and enjoy#my life and see all the people i love doing the same. all ive been able to do this week outside of finishing school my job application etc#is doomscroll about the shootings and covid and monkeypox when i really should be doomscrollimg through my fucking save tag that i curated#specifically to counteract these situations and give me reasons to find hope but i don’t have the strength or see the point bc im only gonn#lose the hope again. but i know there’s a point but i can’t get myself to see it and maybe it’s bc km just so exhausted but idk. and one of#the WORST parts of this is that if the job works out i am going to have to understand that people will look at me differently part of which#means that people — STUDENTS like i just was 2 days ago!!! — will look to me expecting that i have answers or at the very least hope and i#literally do not have hope right now and after national events this month i don’t know if i’ll ever feel hope again. so it’s like fuck i#wont be able to do my fucking job that i feel called to do and want to do more than anything lol. but i already won’t be able to do it bc t#the chances that i can go to [insert convferwrnce] when it involves being on a plane and navigating people who won’t wear masks are so low#and * already snarked about it to me yesterday which really hurt my feelings like i don’t think she was trying to be mean but it’s like yes#the fuck i can hide in the van forever i do NOT want to get covid. but i also do not want to miss [conference] and it’s just so stupid that#im going to have to keep making these choices because this nightmare country has decided covid doesn’t exist anymore. idk lol#i know everything in my life could be a lot worse and also that it is objectively WORLDS better than it was very recently bc i graduated an#im done now. but this month has sucked so unbelievably bad and June is also going to be hard and im just scared i will never be happy or#hopeful again or that every time i am something new will knock it down (which is a given living in the usa lol) and that it would be#unethical to try to do the BASIC bare minimum things i have always wanted to do in my life. lole#negative tw#ask to tag#abortion tw#shooting tw#mass shooting tw#monkeypox tw
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violetclarity · 2 years
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becoming increasingly concerned/convinced that I’m destined (doomed?) to be (romantically) alone, not out of any particular desire to but because dating requires so much energy, and how does one do it safely in the era of covid and now mpv, and the world is on fire so shouldn’t I be focusing my energy on other things? but also the world being on fire makes me even more scared about facing it alone. I just want someone (or someones, I would be happy w a platonic community too) who I know will be there with me when things get hard, to put down roots and make plans with even though the future is so uncertain.
like logically I know that I’m not too old to find love and/or a partnership, I’m not saying this in a “well I’ve reached age X so no one will want me” way, honestly I think I’m a catch and I bring a lot to the table! but given the state of the world, the pandemic, where most of my friends are at in their lives, it does feel like I’ve either missed the boat, or am about to miss the boat when it comes to finding a serious relationship/life partner. but how does that urgency translate into action when I’ve only just got a handle on dating during covid and now there’s another virus to worry about? and trying not to burn out while still nurturing my friendships and many other activities? it’s not like I want to be alone, I want a community but don’t know how to find the people for whom that is also a priority, and then it all goes back to the question of meeting new people and nurturing relationships - how do I go out and make platonic connections that I can trust enough to face these scary times with either? how do I balance a desire for a romantic partnership with valuing my friendships as well? how do I live in a way that demonstrates my value of community, when circumstances have forced me to be so solitary?
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