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#NarcissisticAbuse
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I had lost myself trying to please others, but ever since I've started to put me first I've started to be more myself and my inner child is happier.
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i-love--you · 2 months
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narc abuse is real and anyone who disagrees is prioritizing someone's hurt feelings over someone's severe abuse.
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blessingellyse · 4 months
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WHY NARCISSISTS WANT CHILDREN 💯🎯⁉️📌
It Attracts A Lot Of Attention. Narcs Need Attention Far More Than Most People And Will Use Almost Anything To Get It Even Children And What Better Way Is There To Get Everyone’s Attention? Narcs Are Impulsive And Don’t Think Through Consequences So They’re Often Blind As To How Big A Commitment Children Are, Preferring To Focus On The Adulation Instead. Narcs Know That Word Travels Fast And If They Have An Ex They Want To Get At, They Might Have Children Just To Hurt Them. Especially If They Know That They Wanted Children Themselves. That’s How Petty They Can Be.
Narcs Hate Being Single And Certainly Don’t Welcome Someone Dumping Them. That’s Their Job So They Use Children As Insurance. Narcs Know That It’s More Difficult To Leave Them If They Share Children. Because Their Partners, Who Are Usually Empathic, Think Of Their Children’s Needs Before Their Own And Although May Be Unhappy In Their Relationship, Stay To Keep The Family Together. With Children In The Equation, It’s A Whole Different Ball Game. Because A Split Affects Them More Than The Couple And Many People Don’t Want To Be Responsible For Tearing A Child’s Family Apart. So They’re More Likely To Stay With The Narc Even If They’re Unhappy.
Increasing The Pressure To Stay In The Relationship Allows The Narc To Treat Their Partners Worse And Get Away With It. Narcs Learn How Far They Can Push Their Partners, Without Quite Pushing Them Away. They Learn Their Breaking Point And Push Them Just Bellow That Point. This Allows Them To Take As Much As They Can, Yet Keep Them Around So They Can Take Some More, Giving Them The Most Bang For Their Buck. The Breaking Point Is Likely To Be Much Higher When Children Are Involved Because No Right Minded Person Would Split A Family Over A “Minor Incident”, Which Narcs Are Experts At Making Them Seem. So The Bar Is Raised As To What Behaviours Would Spell An End To The Relationship, Allowing The Narcs To Get Away With More.
Even If The Relationship Ends, Children Still Play A Useful Role For The Narc. Because For 18 Years, The Narc Has Access To Their Former Partner And They Have The Law On Their Side. They Can Disappear And Do What They Want. Then When Things Turn Sour, Come Marching Back “For The Sake Of The Children". Narcs Don’t Particularly Care About Seeing Their Children. Which Is Why They Often Have Long Absences From Them, But They’re A Great Tool To Use To Get Their Feet Back Under The Table. Most Well Meaning Parents Won’t Deny Their Children Seeing The Other Parent. Even If They’ve Disappeared For A While. This Allows The Narc To Dip In And Out Of Their Life. And Work Their Charm If They Want Some Action. If The Narc Has Children With More Than One Partner, Then It’s Party Time. Because They Can Flit Between Several Peoples Lives. And When They Grow Bored, Discard Them And Move To Another.
Narcs See Their Children As Extensions Of Themselves And Some Want Children So They Can Live Through Them And Push Them To Accomplish What They Never Did. So They May Push Their Children To Become Doctors, Lawyers, Actors, Singers, Etc. Regardless Of What The Child Wants For Themselves And This Can Cause Problems Later In Life. It Can Be Like Fitting A Square Peg Into A Round Hole. People Need To Find Their Own Way, Based On Their Own Strengths, Weaknesses And Interests, But The Narc Is Too Focused On Their Own Ambitions To Consider This And Relentlessly Push Their Own Agenda.
The Narc Usually Takes Credit For Any Success The Child Has And Claims It’s Their Genes And Good Parenting That’s Responsible. To Outsiders They May Seem Like A Proud Parent, But The Only Pride They Really Have Is In Themselves. They See Children As A Boost To Their Profile. Because In Their Mind It Shows How Virile And Desirable They Are. Some Narcs See Children As A Numbers Game. The More They Have, The Greater They Must Be. So They Try To Have As Many Children As Possible, Despite Being Absent Parents.
Narcs Don’t Usually Have Strong Parental Instincts, So They Leave Most Of The Parenting To Their Partners And This Works Out Great For Them. Narcs Like To Saddle Their Partners With Children Because It Keeps Them Under Lock And Key. The Narc Knows That Their Partner Has Little Freedom When They’re Almost Solely Responsible For The Children And It Keeps Them Safely Tucked Away At Home Whilst They Swan Around Without A Care In The World. Parenting Is Draining And Narcs Like To Play The Energy Game With Their Partners. This Is Where They Tire Them Out Whilst Preserving Their Own Energy. This Allows Them To Dominate Their Fatigued Partner Because They Have Less Mental And Physical Strength To Fight Back.
Although Narcs Do Little Actual Parenting, The Outside World Doesn’t Know This And The Narc Talks A Good Game To Friends, Family And Co-workers, Creating The Impression They’re Doting Parents And Normal Functioning Members Of Society. Narcs Hide Behind A Family Persona To Disguise Their Dysfunctional Ways And It Can Work Wonders For Their Image And Reputation. Narcs Love People Thinking Highly Of Them. It’s An Ego Boost For One And It Also Helps Them Gain Attention And Favours Because People Are More Willing To Trust And Spend Time With People Who Are High Functioning. Narcs See Everyone Around As An Extension Of Themselves Rather Than As Separate Individuals. This Includes Their Own Children.
There Are Several Mistakes The Narc Parent Is Certain To Make During Their Counter-Parenting Journey. These Mistakes Will Undoubtedly Come Back To Haunt Them, Possibly Years Down The Line. Narcs Are So Self-absorbed They Fail To Stop And Consider That Children Eventually Grow Up And See The Damaging Behaviour With Their Own Eyes. Their Children Are Not Immune From Being At The Receiving End Of The Narc's Cycle Of ‘idealise And Devalue’, Where They Are Alternately Lovebombed, (Showered With Praise And Attention), And Then Subtly Devalued, Criticised, Withdrawn From And Put Down. This Leaves Them Confused And Hurt, And They Start Jumping Through Hoops To Please The Parent Enough To Re-Enter The Idealization Phase Again. This Is A Cycle That Repeats Ad Infinitum, Over And Over Again, Even When The Child Becomes An Adult Themselves.
Narcs' Children Will Be Triangulated And Played Off Against Others (Often Their Own Siblings Or Cousins), And Will Find Themselves Vying For The Narc’s Attention. They Will Be Gaslighted/Lied To By The Narc To The Point Where They Their Own Reality Is Dismissed As False, So That They Stop Trusting Their Own Perceptions Of Reality. They Will Be Demeaned And Shamed. If They Are Particularly Good At Something, Behind Closed Doors They May Find Themselves On The Receiving End Of The Narc Parent’s Jealously. Confusingly, The Narc May Then, In Front Of An Audience, Hold Up Their Child’s Talent As A Source Of Pride, As Just Another Way To Gain Positive Attention For Themselves.
It’s Not Surprising That Narcs Want Children For Selfish Reasons. Everything Else In Their Life Revolves Around Them, So Why Should This Be Any Different? But It’s Easy For Their Partners To Be Fooled Into Thinking That They Want Them For The Right Reasons, Especially When The Narcissist Knows What To Say. Narcs May Talk Romantically About How Children Will Bring Them Closer And How Much Joy They’ll Bring, Which Is All Very Appealing, But When The Children Arrive, The Harsh Reality Kicks In. The Narc Becomes More Narc Because They Can Get Away With It And Spends Little Time And Energy On Their Children Because They’re Still Hyper Focused On Themselves. Despite All The Promises They Made, The Sad Truth Is That Even With Children, Narcs Want Everything To Revolve Around Them And They’re Happy To Take The Focus Away From Their Children Because Deep Down, They’re Big Kids Themselves.
In Short, And To Put It Bluntly, Narcs Do Not Have What It Takes To Be Good Parents. They Cannot Put Another’s Needs First.
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when i look in the mirror i never trust what i see having trouble realizing me told what to do, what to feel where do i begin to find what is real i said no, “you mean yes” i guess not so sure anymore an uneven score wanting more do i deserve such i feel i have been missing much caught in a web of lies unheard for years, my many cries chains stay the course do you think he feels remorse overactive emotions dysfunctional neurotransmitters i’m not a quitter not even bitter i just need to know how do i go from here to there care self-distrust do i matter much it’s not a crutch i’m struck by a twist of fate stalemate maybe someone help me figure this out untwist my brain serotonin lost my mood the cost depressed on a quest to find my true mind real emotions presynaptic collapse my body reacts self-harm moving to my arm sound the alarm imperfections now found on my body’s sacred ground tell me the truth show me what to do is this true as tears drop shocked mediating tension hand is wrenching stainless steel again appeals to the theory of invalidation
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cyarskaren52 · 20 days
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safehalton MYTH: You have to forgive who hurt you in order to heal
TRUTH: Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know back then
#VAW
#endvaw
#boundaries
#believesurvivors
#wagegap
#women
#endsexualviolence
#survivors
#timesup
#mentalhealth
#rapeculture
#safehalton
#supportsurvivors
#trauma
#ptsd
#financialabuse
#womenempowerment
#consent
#narcissisticabuse
#sexualabuse
#psychologicalabuse
#physicalabuse
#sexualabuse
#childhoodabuse
#metoo
#domesticviolence
#domesticviolencesurvivor
#sexualassault
#rapesurvivor
#livedexperience
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Manage your expectations. The more you expect YOU from the narcissist, the more disappointed you’ll be. Expecting the narcissist to suddenly be normal, respectful, understanding and logical is a great way to be more and more disappointed. Let yourself be disappointed instead of gaslighting yourself into believing that they will one day “see the error in their ways” and holding your breath for however much time you think they need to see the light or whatever. (Tip: pour that energy and effort into yourself and your healing journey.) When you expect them to be exactly who they are, it’s a lot less shocking to observe them being exactly who they are. Instead of having expectations of other people (in general too, not just narcs), taking them at face value and trusting their behaviour over their words will save you an immense amount of stress. Of course, this doesn’t change the situation or eliminate the stress completely, but it’s a great start to have this shift in perspective in the back of your mind. 🚨🚨🚨PS: Registration is OPEN for my free webinar: Creating Your Own Closure After Narcissistic Abuse! It’s happening LIVE on March 28, at 2:00 pm EST. Go to the link in my bio to register! #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #mentalabuse #narcissist #hiddenabuse #gaslighting #manipulators #verbalabuse #covertnarcissist #narcopath #projection https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp2OyyYMtwL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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carrieanncleveland · 1 year
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Understanding Narcissistic Abuse: What It Is and How To Recover?
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Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that is perpetrated by someone with narcissistic personality disorder or traits. It can take many forms, including gaslighting, manipulation, emotional neglect, belittling, and exploitation.
The following are some common signs of narcissistic abuse:
A constant need for attention and admiration
Belittling, demeaning, or insulting language or behavior
An inability to acknowledge or apologize for mistakes
A lack of empathy for others
Manipulation and gaslighting
Control and domination over their partner
Emotional neglect or abandonment
Blaming their partner for everything that goes wrong in the relationship
Isolation from family and friends
Threats or violence.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be a long and difficult process, but it is possible. The following are some strategies that may help:
Seek Therapy: Therapy can provide a safe space to process your experiences and emotions, and can help you develop coping mechanisms for dealing with triggers and negative thoughts.
Build a Support System: Surround yourself with friends and family who are supportive and understanding, and who can provide emotional support when you need it.
Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This can include exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the person who has abused you, and stick to them. This can include limiting or cutting off contact, and refusing to engage in behaviors that are harmful to you.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Work to identify and challenge negative beliefs and thoughts about yourself that were reinforced by the abuse.
Take Legal Action If Necessary: If you have experienced physical or sexual abuse, or if your partner has engaged in illegal activities, consider taking legal action.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be a difficult and overwhelming process. It is important to seek professional help to heal from the trauma of being in an abusive relationship. Therapy for narcissistic trauma, emotional abuse victims, and survivors of domestic violence are all available options for those seeking help. Professional counselors and therapists can provide support, guidance, and tools to help individuals manage their emotions, cope with the effects of the abuse, and develop healthy coping strategies. With the right kind of therapy, survivors can begin to heal from their traumatic experiences and move forward with their lives.
Remember, recovery is a process, and it can take time. Be patient with yourself and seek support when you need it.
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charlieblakely · 1 year
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'Stop conflating NPD with abuse'
Mmmm, a somewhat triggered reaction to a previous blog post!
The DSM V lists 'a lack of empathy' as a trait of NPD. It also lists 'a sense of entitlement', and 'interpersonally exploitative behaviour'. I shan't go on, as these 3 (of the 9 traits) would inevitably result in behaviours that would cause emotional suffering to a person on the receiving end. How?
Lack of empathy - A disregard or disinterest in another person's feelings
Interpersonally exploitative behaviour - using another person for your own personal gains
A sense of entitlement - Feelings of superiority, which would lead a person to treat another as less than
Where's the conflation here?
The presence of this disorder in a person IS somewhat synonymous with the inenivitable abusive behaviour that would result from said disorder. That's why it's a disorder! That's why it's in the DSM V! That's why it's a problem that needs addressing in the NHS, which was what my first post was about.
The term narcissistic abuse is not conflation.
I'm not saying throw these people to the wolves and be done with them. They need therapy. But we have to stop beating about the bush and being afraid to offend. If we're going to support these people to overcome their trauma, we have to be able to call out their behaviour when we see it.
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beewholly · 7 months
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Dealing with coworkers who exhibit narcissistic abuse tendencies can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it is possible to protect your wellbeing and maintain a healthy work environment. By understanding the signs, setting boundaries, seeking support, and engaging the appropriate channels, you can effectively navigate the complexities of such situations. Remember, addressing narcissistic abuse is not only crucial for your personal growth but also for cultivating a positive and productive workplace for everyone involved. Visit our Website for more information!!
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ziarising · 2 years
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#toxicrelationships #shequotes #notyourpeople #growingup #childhoodtrauma #familyissues #familyportraits #writerscommunity #writerssociety #writersquotes #igquotes #life #lifeportraits #walkaway #peopleproblems #toxicpeople #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissists #thoughts #reflect #writersofengland https://www.instagram.com/p/CgCo74rqdDJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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whimsicalpoet44 · 2 years
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secritlyfe · 10 months
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What is trauma?
We don’t come into this world planning on it and yet we change in response to it. We are never the person we were before it happened.
Over the course of my own life, I know my own traumas have changed the essence of my being. Each one has impacted me on some level. Not always in big ways, but always in some way.
The problem with trauma is my brain doesn’t want to bring it to the forefront. It makes writing about trauma an act of illusion. Did it really happen? Is the memory intact or are there only bits and pieces? Who was I when it happened? And how did I change?
When I arrived on the set, the family I was gracing would have been considered privileged. My father was CEO of a very lucrative company. We had financial security, a solid home and brand new cars that needed no attention beyond the occasional oil change.
From the outside, it looked like a pretty stable home environment. My parents appeared to get along very well. There were often parties and functions; CEO duties my father had to perform. Politicians needed to be persuaded or glorified and family needed to be paraded to continue the impression of success and prosperity.
But that was just the surface. Underneath is where the truth stands in opposition to what they all saw. Well, my truth anyway.
If you asked him, my father would be enraged. He would deny everything vehemently and that would be the end of any conversation. There would be no discussion. And that is why there is so much hurt. Because there never was discussion.
I want to look at the point at which the trauma turns the person’s life. What happens in that brief passing moment that changes your perception of the world you thought you knew? It isn’t always an action or a word, sometimes it is simply the moment a realization dawns in your mind. There are many of these passing moments in my own life, the point at which things will never be as they were before you realized.
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cyarskaren52 · 3 months
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safehalton If someone says: “It runs in the family”, you tell them: “This is where it runs out”
#VAW
#endvaw
#boundaries
#believesurvivors
#wagegap
#women
#endsexualviolence
#survivors
#timesup
#mentalhealth
#rapeculture
#safehalton
#supportsurvivors
#trauma
#ptsd
#financialabuse
#womenempowerment
#consent
#narcissisticabuse
#sexualabuse
#psychologicalabuse
#physicalabuse
#sexualabuse
#childhoodabuse
#metoo
#domesticviolence
#domesticviolencesurvivor
#sexualassault
#rapesurvivor
#livedexperience
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It’s a waste of time and energy trying to reason with unreasonable people. Pour that energy into yourself and your healing journey instead. Even if the narc lives with you and it currently feels like a hopeless situation, you can still engage less. Yes it’s easier said than done. Yes the narcissist will probably get mad and lash out when they notice you engaging less. But also, YES anything the narcissist says to you is calculated to incite a reaction out of you. They get a little kick out of your reaction. Being aware of how you react and making a conscious effort to not react while you’re talking to the narcissist is how you begin to take your power back. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t become the grey rock champion overnight. None of this is ever an overnight process. It’s all about baby steps one day at a time. This is where doing the emotional work comes in handy - processing your emotions (away from the narcissist) can actually help you to not react emotionally to them. Want a little taste of doing the inner work? Grab my free rage journaling guide at the link in my bio! Want to take your healing journey up a notch and join a safe community for survivors to connect, get access to my best courses, attend live events, and have a safe place to share or vent what you’re going through and share your wins? Then I invite you to join my community membership! The best part is it’s super affordable, you can get started for less than $1/day! Click the link in my profile to learn more. (Disclaimer: inner work won’t help you if the narc gets physically violent. If that happens or seems like it might happen, an Instagram post is not going to help you, get yourself to safety asap and get authorities involved! Your physical safety is always # 1!) #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuseexpert #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad https://www.instagram.com/p/CpDuZjaONJE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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