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#NOT do because he isnt fucking there. he's not aware and he's not himself and if for a moment he was and e tried to say 'no'?? how fucking
geodraws04 · 3 days
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PKMN ScarVio DLC AU ~ Possessed!Kieran
Just finished the page for my contribution to the good ol’ Toxic Chain theory :OOO
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I recently finished the Teal Mask and finishing up the Indigo Disk DLC and while i really did like the fact that Kieran’s actions were all his own and makes him a much more realistic/relatable character, I am feeling a little robbed we didn't get a possessed!kieran + i really did not like the direction they took w/ Mochi Mayhem. I felt like it was WAAAY too silly/comedic for my tastes (if you liked it more power to you tho!), and wish we had more lore/backstory and involvement of Pecharunt and the Loyal 3 respectivally.
so i wanted to try killing two birds with one stone and try to mash ID and MM together somewhat! So heres some sketches and concept stuff ft. My PKMN!Violet sona. And also make this AU ANGSTY AS FUCK-
im not a comedy/crack/silly person when it comes to stories involving manipulation/mind control type of stuff because i just get second hand embarressment for those under doing wierd stuff while not aware so if your looking for a “silly haha!” AU with this type of concept ive got bad news for ya… this AU aint gonna be for you-
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Starting off… my design for when Kieran is fully possessed by Pecharunt!
I still really liked the fact that Kieran was like. FULLY aware and in his own mind/body during ID; so i want to keep that in this AU too - for the most part.
id like to think that once making a deal with Pecharunt and offering himself to it in order to become stronger, the little peach would slowly feed him mochi that would “numb the pain and guilt if he ever feels doubtful.” At the time of Pecharunt’s debut to the start of ID, pecharunt is extremely weak and thus, its influence isnt as effective or strong. However, when we meet Kieran again, he’s definately beginning to change. throughout the story, we see Kieran’s spiraling descent into madness as he becomes more intimidating and cynical.
i dont have a specific spot where hed have this outfit change, but ill figure it out lol.
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However, i def think it would be a bit after his panic attack/mental break down when we defeat him. Since at this point he couldnt uphold his end of the deal with Pecharunt, it has no choice: he offered his body and mind to it to get stronger, but he couldnt keep it up. So now, he has to pay the price.
(This would be right after the Ex-Champ bit - fuck you Draydon)
however, instead of telling himself to get stronger like in canon… he mumbles something indescernable and unintelligable… and then he starts… laughing?
“K-Kieran…?”
“Uh… yo, earth to ex-champion… you doin’ alright-?”
Suddenly… he glares at us… no. He glares at you, tears streaming down his face but an animalistic and crazily wide smile is plastered on his face as he stumbles back up, hugging himself while letting out what one would think is the most maniacal, despairing, crazy cackling laughter one could hear.
That's when you see it - his eyes, formally a light yellow, now a bright yet darkly sinister shade of violet-magenta. The scrunchie he was wearing began growing two strings of toxic chains that waved around like tentacles, and lifted him up in the air like stilts, purple smoke filling the area.
what was happening… whats happened to Kieran.
no, whatever that was…
Thats not Kieran.
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The bottom sketch is a small scenario i had in mind!
i want pecharunt to have a larger role so here they are! After returning the teal mask to me and carmine and running off, he stumbles upon an injured and weak Pecharunt, and secretly nurses it back to health. Behind everyone’s backs the two spark a friendship/partnership!
i like to think pecharunt has good intentions and did genuinely want to help kieran get stronger, but i like to think that the toxins it gave to Kieran not only began to mess with Kieran’s mind, but with Pecharunt’s too.
how exactly? No idea just yet lol- ill figure that out later on down the line lol. Along with the loyal 3’s roles in the story as well.
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Heres a few for fun and more funny sketches i made to fill up the empty space lol-
also feat. Moi, yuma and shinigami jykghhfjhfdjhygjuy-
QUICK DISCLAIMER! IM NOT SHIPPING MYSELF W/ KIERAN SINCE HES IMPLIED TO BE A TEEN AND IM A LEGAL ADULT!! the DLC came out when i was 17; almost 18 (released a few days before my bday actually!)
i like to think that when this story and AU respectively take place, Kieran is 14 while im 16 turning 17 that fall in Teal Mask (Carmine being 18 or 19?), then in Indigo Disc Kieran is 16, im 18, and Carmine is 19/20. So me and kieran are 2 years apart, while me and Carmine are 1-2 years apart.
Its mostly because id like to think me and kieran’s dynamic is similar to a close friend i have irl and wanted to write it as such while retaining the canon story too. If that makes sense lol.
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And one more sady drawing when kieran is freed from Pecharunt’s control!
i think i speak for everyone that we needed a scene where we hugged kieran after all the shit he’s been through-
justice for my baby boy kieran. :,,,))
AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW!!
what do yall think :000
any suggestions/ideas, critiques, whatever is on your mind about this AU is appreciated!! Im gonna get back to my remnant designs lol-
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volivolition · 1 month
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Yoooo Voli I made ya a Electrochemistry × Volition playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/19Au6o98AzOf4hEGLMHKtB?si=7kBYYWAhSR-TuLPYicpgYg&pi=a-iR4K2sFbQsWA
also I can't DM you bc you don't follow me, LEMME IN PLS :3
oh hi hello! oooh, hold on, lemme add the link so its clickable. some cool songs in here, thank you for sharing :D!!
also yeah, sorry! :'3 DMs make me nervous and uncomfortable unfortunately, and i much prefer communicating through asks and comments if thats cool!!
#coffee is an EXTREMELY good one for them. i understand the vision of this one PERFECTLY. ''just a sip!'' ''maybe a cup of self-control''#politely considering the implications of love like you. ''if i could begin to do something that does right by you'' as echem and ''i could-#even learn how to love like you'' as voli. i cant put this into words. echem self aware he's fucking it up. voli not letting himself give#into vices like love. traits they look at each other at first with a scoff (''you keep suggesting vices that will hurt harry.'' ''maybe let#yourself have a good thing sometimes you killjoy!'') but they better each other. echem looking forward to better things; little joys#voli learning to allow those little joys and love. is this anything?? i just want them to help each other heal.#and then dead girl walking. thinks about it and smirks to myself slightly. yeah. yeah i get it lmao.#left brain right brain is just a big musical number with several skills taking different lines#left brain: logic; ency; viscalc; voli; authority?; esprit; endurance?; pain thresh; h/e coord; interfacing; composure#right brain: rhetty; drama; concept; inland; empy; suggestion; phys inst; ECHEM.; half lit; savvy; react speed#shiv isnt here because she will not be involved in this lmao. percep is just chilling. it's senses baby!! it's not getting in on this lmao#this is so sad for my empath and voli bestie agenda but alas.#anyway may i suggest: 'A Lovely Night' from La La Land | 'Bad Little Boy' from Adventure Time | 'Weak' by AJR | 'Sweet Talk' Saint Motel#and on my bullshit as usual: ''From Eden' by hozier because ''chivalry fell on his sword / i slithered here from eden'' is so volichem :]#volta transmissions
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mieczyhale · 2 years
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if y'all fuckers who think bucky barnes is a villain wanna see a villain so bad i'd be more than happy to show you one : )
#if you're gonna be so fucking ignorant#so cold hearted and stupider than shit#you're part of my villain origin story#maybe leave the tortured man alone - the one trying to recover from 70 years of unimaginable pain and horror and violation-#he didnt sign up for that shit. he was experimented on by zola while he was a prisoner. he was given the serum against his will#and everything that happened to him after his fall from the train?? he didnt fucking want that or ask for that either#that grabbed him at a point where a normal person would've been dead. he's fallen into a goddamn ravine#his arm was aleady fucked. he wasnt a that aware of his surroundings#its not like he waltzed up to the nearest hydra base and offered his fucking services#they captured him. again. they operated on him. tortured him. brainwashed him - and that's JUST what we saw on screen. for 70 fucking years#and through the years he's frozen#again and again and again#ive seen sympathy for steve being frozen for 70 years - sympathy that is absolutely deserved yes. but where's the sympathy for the main who#had to experience being frozen and thawed and refrozen?? being frozen - thawed - electrocuted - brainwashed - told to do something he cant#NOT do because he isnt fucking there. he's not aware and he's not himself and if for a moment he was and e tried to say 'no'?? how fucking#well do you think that would've gone?? so he's forced to kill and as soon as they're done with him he's frozen all over again. where the#fuck is the sympathy for him?? people who hate bucky - who call him a villain - have none to spare for him bc he was forced to kill their#blorbos parents over 20 years ago. get the fuck out of here#maison speaks#and vents apparently
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pirateborn-a · 1 year
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     Trying to think if there’s anything that could genuinely get Roger upset or angry at any of his boys, and honestly yeah nope there’s     there’s really not   
#[ ooc ] ✧〖 bid farewell to weaver’s town 〗#[ i have talked ab this SO much but you'll hear it again---- dhjsdjklsd#[ just#[ unconditional love man#[ those are his Boys!#[ even in situations where one of them gets hurt from their own stupidity or something#[ roger's a selfish man    he'll take full blame himself#[ he's their captain    he's responsible for them      whatever negative thing they do is because of him#[ roger will forcefully yoink the blame from their grips and claim it for himself and refuse to budge on it#[ i'd imagine rayleigh or gaban or someone else usually having to take role of actually Teaching the kids lessons because roger just#[ doesnt know how to do that fdjdskl#[ and he recognizes it and he does try and he is thankful that others do what he cant but he Knows he could never blame them for anything#[ sure he'll get playfully all >:ccc!! @ the kids for fun but honestly just in general roger Doesnt get genuinely pissed often#[ nearly never @ crew at least    only to those outside who mess with his crew or loved ones#[ love isnt so much as blinding as roger fully seeing and being aware of fucked up stuff but deciding its not as important as his boys#[ not approving      but accepting       'i see you i see what you've done and it hurts me so much to see but i see it and i accept it#and i still love you      can we go home now? i'll hold your hands and wipe the blood from them with ginger touch'#[ again!! selfish man!!!#[ like   even with extreme cases like say one of them somehow ends up killing rayleigh     roger's. Utterly inconsolable and heartbroken#[ but he's still just ruffle their head before going to hide in a corner and cry---#[ i am just#[ shakes fist#[ unconditional love </3#[ does apply to most people he loves   but its just taken to an extreme with his boys#[ sighs#[ can you tell its half past 4am fdsdskl
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littleragondin · 2 years
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#i just had to read with my own eyes#'What makes me hesitate to call it rape though is the fact that Xing Si never tells him no'#like i'm not even going to go into the importance of enthusiastic consent and why not saying no just isnt enough#but dude was absolutely smashed drunk could barely stand on his feet#clearly couldn't process what was happening (he literally asks Yong Jie to confirm it's him!)#in what world could he make a decision on anything?#and then to go on and say he is stupid because#'I just can't believe he doesn't know what the younger one is doing'#like?????#it's his dì! his family! of course he trusts him and doesn't think he's getting him drunk on purpose??#like even if you wanted to say that accepting drinks meant you were both aware and down to fuck w/ the buyer#(which is already bullshit)#it's his stepbrother! I'm sorry I don't think not immediately going 'oh yeah he's trying to get in my bed' is being an idiot!#like yeah sure disagree with the narrative choices of how Xing Si blames himself and how he is forgiving Yong Jie#and that it's obvious they will end together#but frankly? I think so far that with what we're shown and told of Xing Si and his relationship to himself and Yong Jie#a lot of his reactions and choices are not that illogical (tho again i wish they were different)#and they certainly do not make him pathetic or responsible for what happened to him LORD#anyway it's not a very good series and i'm not sure it deserves me getting my hackles raised like that#but Xing Si is actually such a sweet character who goes through SHIT#and I hate to see it painted as him being pathetic or responsible of what he's been victim of#like get a grip ppl#(not gonna tag it bc it's from > 1year old comments and i don't want to attract any attention or anything)#(but i needed to vent so here we go)
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zevranunderstander · 9 months
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i wish literally anyone else except for me would in depth care about my pathfinder character and would know like. all the lore and be in the sessions BUT i still wanna do it without the Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known
#myposts#like nemja is so coded into my own expieriences of growing up and is kind of a way for me to channel and deal w some stuff#like he is so much based on this expierience of being a young woman with a mental illness and this lack of any authority that comes w that#like. and he is insanely socially akward and shy but in this way where you are never taken seriously#like. the expierience of being a young adult who isnt really comfortable around Adults With Authority#like a driving instructor or your boss or whomever and you just feel akward and uncomfortable having to interact with this person#but who also has no ideal about social cues & is just really Weird but in the way people dont like yk#and whose impulsiveness and thoughlessness and general lacking understanding of consequences#creates horribly akward situations for himself like 24/7#which also includes situations where other people are mad at him afterwards and it kinda feeds into a weird cycle of self-hatred#like while learning and growing up he feels so viscerally on a display case where everyone can watch him fuck up and stumble around 24/7#and he also feels way too old to be going through this process and is horribly embarrassed (hes 22 but doesnt remember 7 years of his life#so hes emotionally kind of like 16-17 but also hes kind of 22 in some aspects so hes kind of embarrassed by how little he knows)#and also in his design he has these huge ass horns that make it impossible for him to ever really disguise himself#and not immediately stand out like a sore thumb everywhere he goes#and this visceral awareness that gives him of being percieved and the idea of never really having the choice to not be noticed#like as a woman growing up with alopecia being in any public place everyone will notice/look at you all the time#like no matter what you do like you can never turn it off and him being a rogue and good at stealth and shit#is kind of like an ironic wish fulfillment because as a kid i really did have this thing#where i thought invisibility would be the best superpower#but like. it's nice to not be seen but it always makes you an observer looking in and not a member of any group#this character is my absolute everything ok?#nemja
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dolliestfairy · 8 months
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𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝅄ֹ ׅ♡ ೀ ʚĭɞ ‌ིᨴּ ˒˒۪
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(Crazy) Yandere [Nerd] Boy x Soft!Chubby!Fem!Reader ༢𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢
𔓘 Tw : Kidnapping, Extreme Noncon (y'all are strangers bro), Rushed Fanfic, Mentions Of Blood, Virginity-Take, Extreme Somnophilia, Stalking, Extreme Obsession, Impregnate, A little of Bondage, Seriously dude you're fucking with a crazy nerd boy who is a freaking stranger to you like y'all didnt know each other but this madman is really know you to the soul from all his stalking and stuff. this fanfic is quite the Dead Dove Do Not Eat. Chubby reader fics with no skintone of reader mentioned.
𔓘 A/N : y'all.. this are f***king insane bro.. like this is kinda disturbing imo as a writer of this and also a lot of suffocating. Read at your own risk. me myself actually like the extreme yandere fics but this is still the prefix of it. stay safe while reading this because again; y'all are a stranger!! if a dark content yandere isnt your cup of tea then i highly recommend you to spend your shit at other blogs!! ty.
W/C : 6,4K for Stranger Fucking 💀
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Currently thinking abt nerdy men who looks like they would shit in their pants when someone raised their voice at them, but the truth is; he's really really quite the strong. he's a nerdy man who arent shy at all (or maybe just a little) and he's simply just dont like to be bothered by anyone else. he's also a nerdy man who told himself countless time to just focus on studying and studying, and at the first moment; he actually manage to do it within his daily life, well until he met you.
You; plump, soft looking girl with chubby cheeks and doe eyes. you dont even know how much you affect him didnt you? arent you just dumb? walking there and then with such a tiny skirt that almost showed up your plump ass cheeks. walking down in the hallway with such dress that hugged all of your curves together perfectly. oh if only you find out how every night he would spend his time in his bedroom alone while his hand thrust his own cock up and down, thinking about you. he would be drown in his thoughts about how you would find out all his dark fantasy about you. but.. he do realize he shouldnt be doing this actually, no really, he should just be studying, but the soft laugh and those.. those whimpers terror you gave him just drove him to his edge.
And the fact that he masturbate about you when you both are clearly still stranger - is fucking crazy. he mostly had heard of how'd you talk, whimper and moan (wait.. how did.. he know?) and stuff like that while your own self being completely un guard around him. he swear to his thumbs he hated you for making him felt like this, i mean how could you?? a plump girl just trying to get into her daily life as normal as usual can make some nerd dude mad in love with her without her being aware at all?! he cant do this.. he cant do this anymore..!
And he really cant do it anymore. as he go to your apartement at midnight after finding out where you live. peeking through the window to what you were doing only to find you dressing in a short pastel rainbow dress lingerie with big bows placed in the back of your hair, dancing to some songs.. and oh my god he cant even explain how much he want to ripped those colorful dress lingerie off your body. he has no doubt at all that you have the most beautiful body he would ever sees in his entire life.
As he drown himself in his own thoughts until he heard a telephone ring -- it was your friend! your male friend! as you picked the phone up, talking with your friends, while he sees with his own eyes about the way you laugh softly at what-god-knows your friend was muttering to you. he doesnt and he would rather bury himself alive than admitting about the fact that he was really, really, envy and jealous. as he harshly breath at you, while all his body is literally focus with you. his eyes seeing you from head-to-toe, his ears listening carefully about the conversation you're having as his mouth try to resist to open it again because well um -- he is quite the drooling over there. that was it until you start to walk towards the front door where he was outside!!
As he sees you carefully, while hiding himself in the corner, and focused on the door handle you're about to open. until........
Until he quickly enough to put his arms and placed it onto your mouth, shuting you up until you passed out and bring you to your new home his home. as he open the bondage he placed at your mouth, and pinch your chubby cheeks until he sees your whimpering again. thats it! thats the thing that always drove him mad everydsy everynight. thinking about you whimper at whatever he was doing was like a holy candle for him. he then stood himself up, looking at your half unconscious body, and then start to strip you... to naked.
As he softly ripped all the dress lingerie you weared, and after he got the look at your boobs, he slowly put his hands up at where your nipples on, and start playing with it. while his eyes focused on your face, waiting the reaction he have been wait. and until then... you are moaning. honestly he have been thinking that he was in a dream that time. i mean -- he do have seen you moan by the way he always check on you secretly.. but he never except his own self to be the only one who could capable enough to hear your soft moan. as he sped up the phase of his hands playing your nipple, while his own other hand strat to undress himself.
And until he and your own finally completely naked. and... oh god to be damned. he swear he always sees you at some kind of whore while your other friend sees you just as an innocent normal girl, and he always have no doubt about his feelings That you have such an erotic body and at the end.. he was actually right. you do have a very very.. pleaseable body. as he placed his hands into your half unconscious body, lowering it until his hands touch your private part -- your pussy. he slowly but surely put his 3 long fingers in to play with you, and to be surprised or.. shocked even, that you are so so fucking damn tight! he even sure that your pussy is one of the most tightest thing he'd ever placed his hands on, as he quickly sped-ing up his pace at playing your pussy, watching you moan and whimper become one, he cant believe what he saw. you're literally still half unconscious! but yet you somehow still manage to bring out the sound he would die for with! at this rate he doesnt know if he wants to wake you up or just let you still be half unconscious so when you wake up, you're gonna have a some extra surprised with your naked body that has been covered with his cums. as he thinking about it while he placed his (quite big) cock at your pussy. trying to rip those tight wall of your pussy off. thats what he was trying to do until your pussy start showing a little drop of blood out of it.
Oh.. he get it.. yeah he actually get it. You're a Virgin arent you? oh.. such sweet cheeks.. well too bad yoi're going to give all of your innocents left as his own hands and dicks. the body of someone you dont even know at all. he actually felt (just a little) bit of guilt. but who cares anyway? you're literally still half unconscious! as he said it to himself while he tried his possible to pound your ass up at your fat pussy. going in and up in every corner. at first it was slowly, but then he start to change the position into a mating press just so the cums and the blood are still there. as he quickly but surely speeding his pace up like a mad man. at this rate he was at the edge of doesnt gave a fuck about the fact that you're still half unconscious but then he's also at the edge of shock and unbelief because of how you are still not waking up at his pounding.
And all of those pounding ends when his cock start to dried out with how your fat pussy suck all his cums and sperma in. pulling his cock out of your pussy only to see the view of the inside of your pussy, being drown with his cums. as his hands hold your body up just so all the cums he had restored isnt goung to spill. and until then he slowly put his hands down, letting your body down into the mating press position, watching your pussy spilling all of his cums like a fucking waterfall. (his cum waterfall) and then he placed his palm hands at your cheeks softly, while quietly muttering about how he would take care of you, and keeping you safe and that you wouldnt need to be scared of him (even after all his done to you) as he placed his other hand at your undressed belly, and then stroke it with such gentleness because he knew that right now, right at the almost-morning time, that you're going to be swellen with thousands - thousands of his sperm, and at the end of the month, he would see you placed your own hands at your bellies who at that time was full with his kid. oh how he cant wait... he just hope that you wouldnt be freaked out about the fact that you just found yourself in a unrecognizeable place with a literal fucking stranger who is now has placed a baby inside of you. yes, a baby -- his baby.
TSUKISHIMA KEI, ITOSHI RIN, MEGUMI, Itachi, Shikamaru, Nanami, Neji, Tobirama, Deku, KUNIMI, Muichiro, SEMI EITA, Konoha Akinori, Venti, XIAO, AL-HAITAM, Akaashi, KOZUME KENMA, & hatake kakashi.
did i forgeting anyone? insert ur fav!
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Dolliestfairy's © Works. Do Not Repost My Creation at Any Platfroms Without My Permission.
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mxdotpng · 2 years
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i do not understand the name switching thing... where did that come from?
#.text#yes. this IS about asch and luke.#i know i havent even scratched the bottom of the barrel in terms of whats out there for this game bc. it did come out in like 2006#im almost 20 years behind. but still. ive seen a few people talk & write about the two switching their names n u know. no.#it feels. weirdly out of character and it feels like its ignoring the themes of the game. u know?#luke is luke. he is not Luke but he is luke. that is His name. and asch is asch. he was Luke but he isnt Luke anymore.#i dont think names mean much to luke. he knows who he is and who he wants to be. it wouldnt matter to him what name he goes by#because he would still be himself. he knows that. but i think it Would matter to asch. everything is in a name to him. and his name#is asch because he isnt luke anymore. luke is the little boy who was kidnapped and replaced at the age of 10. he was the little boy#who was to weak to stop van from manipulating him and he was the little boy who could do nothing to tell his mom that he hadnt#come home yet. he is asch and asch is Stronger. more defined and more himself. even if he doesnt really know who He is yet#theyre different like that. mirrors. just like so much else.#if its about asch calling himself 'luke fon fabre' before his final fight... its still wrong sorry. i dont think he'd have any desire to be#luke again because he isnt luke and now to him luke is this annoying replica who keeps trying his damn best to make sure asch lives#and keeps dragging him home even though asch doesnt understand any of it. at this point to asch luke is this stupid#7 year old boy who is weak and too fucking pathetic to be HIS replica.#and i think luke would think taking asch's name is. invasive. its not Right. because thats asch's name. he isnt stupif enough not to be#aware that the name 'asch' is symbolic. the charred remains of the sacred flame. taking that name would be like. forsaking#everything asch had gone through. does this make sense.#i think about them too much. i have essays written for hypothetical situations nobody will ask me about.#when in all honesty this phenomenon is few and far between on this site and ao3 and is more likely more prevelant on ff net#which i do not frequent. yet.#tho. i do think. if luke ever offered or asked asch if he wanted to go by luke again. asch would appreciate the gesture a lot.#like u know. he is standoff-ish and mean and especially to luke. but it would be like. positive relationship points in luke's favor.#wow im so right. i should put that in my time travel fic.#tales of the abyss
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disruptivevoib · 11 days
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Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such
Something I find important about CCCC is like.
The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.
Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.
Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.
Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.
Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.
Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.
The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.
And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:
1. isnt possible
And
2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.
Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).
Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"
His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.
But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.
The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.
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borzoilover69 · 2 months
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I have this vivid post-game earth c vision of jake roxy dave and ecto-clone meenah going on clubbing hijinks. Because theyre the only people in the friendgroup interested in doing that extrovert shit and 1/2 of the party gets invited by jake.
Meenah gets into a fight w/ jake bcus he thinks shes actually meenah, but in the end they laugh off the misunderstanding and joke insult each other and exchange socials. She also controls what music they listen to as they drive, and has a rotating door of dancestors who chill w/ them. Wears a lot of black.
Roxy is a bit flakey but she makes the cut cus shes generally chill and gets along w/ people. Shes the one buying bottles of soju from bws and texting in the backseat with her painted nails while keeping up w/ the others banter. Shes chill w/ going w/ the flow. She also manages to find more obscure clubs thru her feed or other mad hacker skillz (lulz). Wears a lot of colourful stuff
Dave got invited by Jake once as a “fuck it why not (and a massive fuck you to dirk)” and ended up vibing w/ meenahs music tastes (they have similiar tastes so shes chill w/ him) so they kept inviting him back. Generally doesnt have anything going on for him post-game so is always down for it, plus is totally trying to hit on jake to some regards. This is mutually beneficial, as jake is full aware of this fact. They are both jackasses full aware of the taboo crossover waiting to happen. Gets along REALLY well with jake after a few drinks. Jake and him generally dont talk in normal circumstances but you bet the minute jake asks if daves free hes getting off the fucking couch to text a reply much to the chagrine of his roommate vantas. Dave is the most basic its either a hoodie and shorts or a tshirt with cargos. Solid colour, little to no decor.
Jake is the passenger princess (part two) drinking before they get to the party and laughing or engaging with a bitching session with meenah. They have a sort of thing going for them in the way that meenah will drag jake into a bathroom and give him a peptalk or grill him for being too hard on himself. Respects her for her shit. BPD solidarity because in return for all the times shes grilled him in a bathroom about how strong he is for putting up with bullshit he receives from other people he in return makes sure to check on her when she isnt doing too hot and takes her out to lunch or something. Also they both bitch about their crazy exes, jake bitches about dirk and meenah bitches about ecto-clone aranea (they met in a psychward). Jake and meenah have an on-going “ill end my toxic relationship if you end yours.”
Roxy and Dave are both well aware this shit is taboo af but also they genuinely do not have that much going for them so its like a nod of respect to the fact theyre the two other gods who enjoy clubbing. Just not being the ones who plan and arrange it. They do like being invited tho.
Dave and Meenah both vape, Jake and Roxy dont. Meenah and Dave occasionally beef but he always ends up back in the crew cus hes usually the loser stuck parking and hes the only one trusted with the music other than Meenah. Meenah is VERY particular about the vibe. No sad songs. No indie. No chill beats. Gotta be high energy. I think she would listen to something like heartbeat by childish gambino or lemonade (feat.nav).
I have more thoughts about it ill prolly elaborate if anyone interested. I have such thoughts abt their fashion and habits. Enough about introverts lets get some extrovert rep.
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transpeculation · 1 year
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Okay so let’s talk about dramatic irony.
Colin’s big Flaw right now is his inability to be himself. This impacts his relationships with team members and also his football playing.
Ted’s speech from a few eps ago where he says “without shame” and the camera focuses on colin? that is where this flaw ties in with his growth as a football player.
We have seen colin make mildly homophobic remarks in the locker room “okay i’ll fuck zava”.
We have seen moments like this increasingly this season as the audience becomes aware of his sexual orientation.
This provides the audience with dramatic irony. The irony is that we know he is saying this to hide as a gay man but the characters in the scene do not.
We also know that what colin is doing is harmful to him. but he is unable to see that. all he is able to do is protect himself.
This episode is the first time (iirc) that we see him say something misogynistic instead of homophobic.
“i know what i’m doing this weekend”
to colin, this is not different. To most of the other players, this is not different.
To us, the audience, this is worse than what he was doing before. He is no longer weaponising homophobia (something he is a victim of) but misogyny (which he is not). you might argue that isnt worse but personally it rubbed me the wrong way and i think a lot of people would agree.
Importantly, some of the players on the team are also opposed to this misogyny.
At this point colin stops joking, and starts defending his real opinion (he shouldn’t have to delete his personal files just because they might be leaked).
This is an issue that some members of the team have beliefs about.
Jamie, Sam, and Isaac, stand up for women by making it clear that keeping nudes when there is a high risk of leaking is not okay.
But colin has skin in this game. Usually, he is never “real” in conversations like this. But this time things are different. He wants to keep the photos.
we see him defend this position by mentioning “memories.” this shows us that his desire is not lustful but sentimental in nature. i’ve seen others point out that this is a facet of his identity (that he is unable to outwardly express!). The photos mean something to him and he is angry at the idea that he is doing something wrong by keeping them.
I don’t think we have ever seen him defend an opinion genuinely before as the audience? In s1 he was pretty much trying to impress jamie. there was one comment about welsh pride but that came across as a joke. (Ted lasso writers make colin more welsh challenge)
And the first time he breaks his facade, the first time he shows his real face, he gets outed.
If he hadn’t cared about the photos he would have stopped arguing, stayed quiet and nodded along. made a joke maybe. something we’ve seen him do many times before. but he was honest about his opinions, so isaac was able to tell he hadn’t deleted anything when everyone else was.
SO: dramatic irony.
The audience knows that he wasn’t being serious with his first comment. “I know what I’m doing this weekend”
We know that that was a joke meant to act as a hyper-masc, homophobic, misogynistic shield in order to disguise his true self.
But the rest of the team do not know that. Issac does not know that. He has probably been making “jokes” like this, off camera, for years.
He leaps straight from a joke about masturbating to leaked nudes, to defending keeping photos that he knows there is a risk of leaking.
We, as the audience, know that he only wants to keep photos.
But Isaac thinks he might as well be defending the leak.
When Colin says “fuck off” to Isaac, he prompts him to take his phone. Isaac is acting the responsible team captain, here.
From what information he has, it just seems like colin is completely out of line. He’s defending misigyny, probably risking the safety and privacy of multiple women, being uncharacteristically rude and angry about it.
He probably has to deal with toxic behaviour from team members all the time. His own captaincy has been a source of growth for him, from the bully he used to be, to someone who tries to make sure everyone is behaving respectfully and as a team.
In any other situation I would want him to take the phone and delete the photos.
But he didn’t know that Colin also needed privacy. And colin was unable to express that to him as someone who is desperately hiding parts of himself.
So Isaac takes the phone. 
I think this all explains Isaac’s reaction. Confusion, nods, leaves.
He is confused because he is learning that this interaction is absolutely not what he thought it was. He nods because he accepts that, bc it’s a totally different situation than he thought, he doesn’t need to delete the photos. then he leaves, because what else is he supposed to do.
And colin is left knowing that his slip-up (the first time we see him express a sincere and deeply held emotion in front of the team) caused the very thing he was so afraid of happening.
EDIT: oh also the irony of how isaac invades colins privacy while trying to protect other people’s because he doesn’t think of colin as someone who needs privacy from him. I allude to that but i meant to make is clearer. EDIT 2: corrected spelling of isaac
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tobisiksi · 6 months
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imagine that you have a friend who never talks, he's always in his world but he seems aware of everything that happens at the same time.
At first you thought that he was just an ordinary boy with nothing special but the more you know him the more you know that he's not ordinary, and you starts to appreciate him even tho you dont know anything about your friend
you feel like you're under his protection, he doesn't treat you different even knowing abt your past or your chuunibyou or that you're the most perfect pretty girl in the world
He doesnt judge you out loud and is always in the rough moments, even if he doesnt say much his presence is there with you, supporting in secret and making sure that everything goes as planned without any inconvenience
Then one day that guy tells you and the others that he has powers and he even proves himself doing a demostration with a spoon, and he explains why he kept it as a secret, how he think that is such and inconvenience to have a friend who can read your thoughts or can see under your skin and and and
you can tell that he doesnt feel human
the worst part is that you can see where is he going with this, it could be so weird and uncomfortable to have someone like that and you should be freaked out abt this discovery.
but you aren't, no one in that room is.
you all just think abt how many times he had used his powers to protect you
a lot of things that you experienced that were inexplicable now make sense, you connect the dots and now you have the whole image of who is in real your friend
yea you're a little bit embarrassed because he KNEW everything that you tried to keep as a secret for fear to being judged, but he never judged you really (maybe a silly joke in his internal monologue but that's kusuo for ya)
also you know that he wasnt reading your mind on purpose, it's not something that he can control
and that's okay
but you can tell that your friend isnt okay with that, he was expecting at least one insult towards him, he's used to people freaking out when they know abt his powers, or people who want to take advantage of them
your heart broke in pieces when you hear that, that's a fucked up way to think abt how the people might see yourself when they discover such and important part of you
you know he's speaking from experience
and that's what hurts more
so from now on you'll make sure to change that, make sure that kusuo knows how loved he is
it's the least you can do for him, he deserves all the love you could provide after all
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pixiecaps · 5 days
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no bc im not usually involved w stuff like this and believe everyone should be held accountable for their actions no matter what. but seeing the way quackity has been seen as non human, any emotion or misstep he has being seen as manipulative or fake is like crazy. i don’t understand how people don’t see like wait, your actually just being racist you are not capable of seeing him as a person, why? it feels like he really could’ve handled this perfectly and there still would be this large crowd regarding him as a heartless fraud??
truly. i have closely observed this situation and listened to both sides and theres a lot of different opinions that can co exist and theres a lot of complexity to them.
one particular thing that has bothered me and made me uncomfortable is the projection of quackity as this scheming conniving figure. its gross. him having to explain that hes had previous experiences like this where he keeps any sort of bad situation with another creator private and that in turn has made him perceived as more manipulative is so sad. and this isnt surprising obviously since this is something ive witnessed. but overall i think with the internet nowadays theres a large mindset that everything needs to be public information and shared with the audience while they preach to solve things in the dms. people only care for a show and to watch creators destroy themselves. thats what twitter is and what a lot of people actively strive to do on that platform. specifically in regards to leak communities.
everyone should be aware enough that theyre allowed to criticize quackity and the decisions he’s made that people may not agree with. he acknowledges that himself. but to paint him as anything other then human and someone who has deeply fucked up reaches that level where it is racism. i dont think many people quite realize micro aggressions when they see them. so theres that. and then theres obviously the extremes of the situation when it came to the doxxing and death threats. people actively celebrating and saying it surely is an okay thing to spread because well he fucked up right? hypocrisy. this goes the same way for any admin or worker involved the situation that has been sent and told the same.
this entire situation has proved to me that nobody knows how to properly handle anything or how to properly react to anything and choosing instead to immediately jump to those extremes mentioned in the name of activism and moral superiority.
anyways support the admins. listen to their stories. criticize media you consume in a constructive manner. call out xenophobia and racism when you see it. and treat people like the humans they are. they will all make mistakes each side has made a mistake. yes this also applies to the people in the community. think for more than a second before you post anything for fucks sake.
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upsidedownmvnson · 1 year
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eddie stares in the mirror at the scars that mark his body.
he knows it’s not his fault. and he knows there’s nothing he can really do about it, so he shouldnt dwell on things that are out of his control. he knows his scars make him unique, and that you find him just as attractive as you did before…
but even knowing all that, he stares at the marks on his skin and he hates them.
it’s a constant reminder. kids stare at him at the pool, some people ask about it when they catch a glimpse when his shirt rides up, and when you run your fingers over them… he feels like a monster.
he wishes they would go away. and then he wishes he could just love himself again.
when you enter the room you’re immediately aware of eddie’s feelings. you cant read his mind, but you can tell he’s upset by the look on his face. this isnt the first time youd caught him looking in the mirror, tearing apart what he sees.
“what can i do?” you ask, desperate for anything that could help him with his self image. of course you thought he was beautiful, but you wanted him to feel the same. the way he used to…
but he didn’t have an answer for you. he just put on a shirt, kissed you on the forehead, and left the room.
you had to do something, you couldnt watch eddie suffer anymore. it was breaking your heart as well. you knew what to try.
for the next week you did odd jobs around town. you mowed an elderly neighbours yard, watched a single mother’s daughter for a few afternoons, and helped steve harrington drive the party to and from the beach safely. you charged him an extra ten just because robin wasn’t going to be there lol
and then when you had a nice squirrel fund, you presented it to eddie’s tattoo artist buddy, a deposit to book an appointment for a few months down the line. you wanted to give eddie lots of time to design a new tattoo.
when you presented him the appointment card, and the rest of the money, you hadn’t expected eddie to burst out in tears
he couldnt help himself. eddie couldnt help but weep and hold you close because he just had no fucking idea how to express how grateful he was. he wanted to get a new tattoo so bad but didnt want to waste money on it, not with the new trailer payments and the… it doesnt matter. because youd taken care of it.
youd taken care of him,
and he would never ever forget it. he would spend the rest of his life trying to make you feel as loved and as seen as you just made him feel <3
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joshusten · 7 months
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bitter melon (guy/honey, redacted audios)
Honey got stood up on a date and Guy tried to save their night.
(pre-relationship, hurt/comfort, jealousy (hohohoho), slight misunderstanding, conflict between characters, making up, fluff) 4.6k+ words [ao3 link] [masterlist]
[cw/notes: insecurities, self-depreciating thoughts and a lil breakdown im sorry honey has some issues over here (projecting moment?), NOT PROOFREAD as always LMAOO 
ALSO sadly guy isnt as silly (maybe really ooc) as he is most of the fic because he has Internal Conflict + i tried to make honey’s outfit and appearance as ambiguous as possible but i’m not sure how well i did with that ;---; so just keep that in mind! Idk how to feel about this fic ! i love it and i hate it LMAO]
"Oooh, what's got you all dressed up, roomie?"
It was the weekend—Kayla had just been picked up by her boyfriend, which had Guy realizing he and his favorite roommate had the place all to themselves for a few hours. As far as he recalled, he was off from work, and they hadn’t mentioned any errands to him for today. Perfect!
Guy had a bounce in his step as he arrived by the entrance to the room at the leftmost side of their shared apartment. He rapidly knocked at the door with a giddy “Hello?”, eagerly waiting for the response that he knew would always come. 
Hm, which game should they play this time? Smash was always an option but he wouldn’t mind trying something new with them. They could even watch some random YouTube documentary again like they did last time. Or maybe he can finally muster up the courage to ask them if they want to hang out somewhere outside the apartment that isn’t for laundry or groceries. 
He smiled to himself. Yeah, I’d like that. They can go to that new arcade that opened up nearby!
Before Guy can daydream more of sharing smiles in photo booths and frustratingly rigged crane games, the door opens to reveal the subject of his reverie, clad in clothing and accessories flashier than what they would typically wear. He got a whiff of a pleasant fragrance too and he realized that they must have put on a perfume of some kind.
Woah. 
They looked…amazing. They've always looked amazing. He had thought that about his grumpy companion even before the pair got close. But, seeing them in anything other than their usual casualwear or pajamas was definitely a surprise. 
The teasing amount of skin they had exposed didn’t go unnoticed by him, as well.
His roommate, by all means, was no prude. They even had their fair share of comebacks more vulgar than his flirts when they banter (Those particular interactions definitely do not keep him up at night, blushing and wide-eyed while he stares at the ceiling. Nope. Never.) This side of them, however, was something he’d never seen before until now. This side of how they present themselves with such boldness was new and he didn’t mind it at all.
The outfit looked good on them. Too good. A seductive dark top that very much complemented the tone of their skin, unbuttoned dangerously low enough to reveal the expanse of their collarbone that was adorned by a simple necklace. 
Their shoes gave them more height too, slightly towering over Guy more than they already did before and forcing him to tilt his head up a little for their eyes to meet. The dizzying scent of their cologne paired with those pants that hugged their figure just right had his mind reeling. It was mortifying—how they had him in such a daze so easily.
Fuck. 
Guy gulped nervously.
“You going out tonight with friends o–or something?” he frantically adds, suddenly aware of how much he was probably staring amidst his very appropriate train of thought about the person before him. Admittedly, the man was a little bummed that his plans to take them out first (Platonically, of course. How else would it be?) were off the table, though his interest had been piqued by what they were up to being dressed like that.
"Oh, uhm, no. I mean, yeah? Kinda? I'm…" They looked hesitant and a little…embarrassed? Well if it's something they don't want to share then he didn’t mind. Despite how much of a menace he is (with his roommate never failing to lovingly remind him of this), Guy wouldn’t want to force anything out of them, especially if it got them so uncharacteristically timid. He tends to forget such social cues, but he actively tries to improve and avoid being so pushy.
As he was about to reassure them that it was okay to not respond, they replied with a bashfulness that was unlikely of them, “I’m…going on a date.”
 A date? With someone else? Romantically? He felt his grip on the door frame tighten, and a sharp pang shot through his heart, silencing his buzzing mind for a split second before managing to fake a curious smile.
“Oh? Who are they? Do I know them?” He liked to think he inquired them out of politeness, like a nosey friend pestering someone about their crush, but the thought of his roommate being alone with someone for the night leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He had the need to asses this person, and determine if they really were worthy of their time—of them—for reasons he isn’t really sure of, it just felt like instinct.
Guy internally cringed. What the fuck does that mean? Why the hell is he thinking like this? Protective! He’s being protective, of course. Any friend would want to protect their friend with things like these! A love life is a huge factor in someone’s happiness after all, right? So he, as a friend, can definitely be wary if someone could be a potential risk of heartbreak for their friend.
Okay, if he thinks of the word ‘friend’ one more time he might actually lose it.
He needed a cold shower. Yeah! He just needs a nice cold shower to shock his brain and stop the weirdest fucking thoughts from ever forming, especially thoughts concerning his roommate that’s currently driving him crazy in every way possible.
“Ah, no, I don’t think so. He’s from my class.” They shrugged, looking to the side awkwardly. “I dont know, he just asked me out yesterday and I figured, ‘Why not?’”
Guy hands began to twitch involuntarily as his roommate smiled at themself, oblivious to the spiral that he was having. "My friends kept on saying I should try letting loose and going out more so I guess it’s about time.” 
“Oh, uh, hope you enjoy, then.” God, he feels light-headed.
“Well, isn’t this a first. What, no witty remark? No innuendo about me finally ‘getting some’?” Guy fought the urge to grimace. Somehow those jokes would do nothing but sour his mood even more instead.
“Hey,” The man started, struggling to keep his voice steady. “Can’t I wish a friend good luck on their date?” Friend. The word felt worse and worse the more it festered in his mind. Yeah, that’s what they were. What they’ll ever be. Nothing more. 
“Pfft, whatever, man.” The smirk grew wider on their lips. They seem really excited and he shamefully thinks it might make him vomit at how eager they are for this date. He should support them, right? Guy can see how his roommate tends to keep to themself most of the time, especially when Kayla’s with them. So seeing them go out of their comfort zone should have been a relief. He should be happy for them.
Whenever Guy was with them, being happy was easy. So why was he having such a hard time now?
Their grin dropped when they glanced at their watch with widened eyes. “Oh shit, I think I need to go.”
They opened their bedroom door and lifted up their arms from the side in a way to reveal more of what they were wearing. “How do I look?” 
Yup, feeling dizzy again. Remember to breathe, Guy.
“Uh, yeah, y–you look great! Really.” Guy put on a strained smile. “Have fun, just don’t miss me too much, though. Might be unbecoming for your date.” He prays to god they don’t notice how his voice wavered at the end.
They rolled their eyes with a familiar chuckle that usually follows whenever he makes a joke, “Pfft, whatever.” 
Waving him goodbye as they rush to the exit. “Don’t wait for me when you’re gonna eat dinner, by the way. I might be home late!” One last look on their watch had them walking faster. “Okaygottacatchthebusnowbye–!”
 He heard the gentle click of the door shutting and the apartment felt lonelier than what he’s used to.
— 
Tap, tap, tap.
“In old legends, tales long forgotten, the sea is often said to be unkind. 
The sea’s temper is short, and his rage is felt through the angry swells of the water that eat sailors alive. His strength is tremendous, taking down the tallest of mountains and sinking whole countries with his surging claws. But most of all, his cruel waves do not discriminate, drowning both the wicked and the innocent altogether. He cares not for the last breath he takes from their lungs to fill with salt and water and death. 
Despite his hostility, the sea yearns for the moon. 
Whenever the moon came down to greet him like an old, treasured friend, the waters still. All is tranquil when the sky and the sea meet. The sea breeze is calm as the children play by the shore. The people were grateful, for the sea had fallen for the beauty in the sky.
But all good things never last.
The sea became selfish. He loathes the time when the moon eventually ascends to the abode of angels, their home. He loathes the loneliness that becomes of him when he can no longer feel the warmth of their glow. His loathing turns into wallowing in sorrow until he decides that he has had enough.
His calm waves suddenly grow with the intent to seize, to take, to keep the jewel of the night for himself. His desire for them to stay overflowed into his foolish actions that had done nothing but have the moon be victim to the harshness he had reserved for men.
The moon wept, and the sea received their tears. He had hurt them. He had hurt them in his act of love. They returned to the skies, burdened to carry the melancholy of a broken heart and the sea remains, afraid to cause more harm.
The moon never came down again.
His attempts to reconnect bear no fruit. A different kind of madness consumed him, wrapping around his very soul like how guilt wraps around the sinners. It’s God’s punishment, he deems, for his covetous ways. To chase for the sky but never touch the clouds, to stretch up to the heavens but never high enough. 
He had realized that they could not be attained. 
They will not come back for him.
Yet he continues to reach high above, hoping for the blessing of a god birthed by pity. To push his tides to the limit for a chance to be in the moon’s presence once more until the end of time.
It is all but a myth, ancient words that the people of the present cannot truly decipher, but all its messages share the same sentiment;
The sea is…”
“Hm.”
Tap, tap, tap.
“The sea is mysterious?”
“No, no, no…”
Tap, tap, tap.
“The sea is prideful?”
“Ugh, that doesn’t sound right either.”
Tap, tap, tap.
“The sea is spiteful?
Vitriolic?
Rancorous?”
The living room which was once filled with the constant stream of clicking laptop keys came to an abrupt halt. I give up. This whole ‘running away from your issues’ thing really isn’t working.
That same irritating pain still persisted. It was becoming less of an annoyance and more of a discomfort, aching to the point that Guy started to rub his chest a few times in an attempt to soothe it. What is up with me today? Even after the cold shower that he was sure would solve his current predicament, the feeling of unease still lingered. 
He figured he might as well do the writing exercises that his professor had assigned a few days ago to distract himself yet it was of no help at all. In fact, it was just fueling the fire of these messy emotions that he had been feeling. His tired eyes closed, fingers circling his throbbing temples, as he racked his mind for something that would best fit the final line. I swear to god it’s at the tip of my tongue!
His mind snapped out of focus after hearing the noise of the door suddenly opening. He managed to haphazardly type a word to try out before it could escape his mind so that he could finally finish this troubling assignment that had opened more problems he had meant to solve. 
The sound of heavy footsteps reached his ears and they burned, knowing full well who had just barged in. Speak of the devil. His roommate finally returned along with the sinking feeling in his ribs. They had gotten back from their date. Guy made sure to put on his most convincing smile. 
“Hey, roomie! Back already? How was it?”
“Uh, yeah, hi.” They didn’t bother to look at him, ignoring his eager questions while they hastily set down the small bag they brought. Guy sees them navigate through the kitchen to fill up a glass of water and hungrily gulp it down. “I-is Kayla here?”
He frowned, shifting his body to face where they were in the kitchen. “Uh, no. She texted me that she was staying over with her boyfriend. Why?”
“Thank god.” 
“Yeah, I know right? So, uh, how’s the date?”
No response came again, His roommate was seemingly distracted by whatever they were scrolling through on their phone but it was clear that they were purposely ignoring him.
“He-ey! I asked how the date was. Did something happen?” They were as timid as they were before. And like before, the unease in his gut grew.
“U-uhm, it was fine.” The man heard them murmur. Why were they so secretive? They seemed frazzled and they were doing that thing where they touched their cheeks to cover their face whenever they got warm because they were…flustered. Are they–? On that date, did they–? Did something happen like that between them and their date?
Unnoticed by his roommate, Guy’s eyes widened. The pain in his chest returned tenfold. This should’ve been a good thing. That means they had a great time. Why is he mad? Why does he get that sinking feeling? Why does he feel so spiteful about it?
“What, no juicy details? Oh, I get it. You’re keeping secrets from me! Not a kiss-and-tell typa person now, are we?”
Maybe it was stupid of him to prod, especially about the one thing that set this rollercoaster of confusing emotions in the first place. But he needs to know. What did they do? How was it? Did they like it— being with him instead of Guy?
They continued to ignore his lighthearted interrogations and Guy knew that he should’ve just dropped it at this point but something in him snapped all of a sudden. He isn’t sure if the agitation that built up had got to him but he couldn’t stop himself from blurting out his next words—harsher than intended.
“Hey, I'm not the selfish one over here who left me all alone inside at a weekend while they got to actually enjoy the night in some fancy restaurant or something. C’mon, spill!” 
The lightness in his tone never left. In fact, to anyone else, it would’ve sounded like his usual playful nagging Both of them, however, noticed the shift in the direction of their conversation. (Since when was he one to provoke someone?) He’ll blame it on being in the heat of the moment for now. They understand he was just curious like that, right? All he was sure of was that he needed to know what happened. Why is he mad? Stop being mad. They didn’t do anything wrong.
He noticed their flinch far too late.
“I got stood up, Guy. Was that what you wanted to hear? Because, god forbid, I get to actually go out and do shit for myself!” The acidity of the way they said his name sent chills up to his spine. Their voice was eerily still, its coldness made Guy’s blood freeze. “Because I’m such a selfish asshole to enjoy things for once, right?”
“Oh.” 
Oh fuck. He fucked up.
“Yeah, oh,” A dry chuckle left their quivering lips. “Can’t believe I fucking thought he would actually show up. Thought somebody wasn’t fucking around with me for once and I–” They abruptly stood up. The harsh scrape of the chair puts the whole room into an uncomfortable silence.
They weren’t flustered from the date, they were embarrassed. Humiliated. They had probably been waiting for that douchebag to show up only to receive false hope and pitying glances. And he just had to add insult to injury by being when he clearly should’ve just listened, should’ve stopped, should’ve comforted them. He can finally see the tears that began to stream down their face.
“It’s whatever. I’ll be in my room.” 
“Fuck, I–I’m sorry. I didn’t know that he–”
But they had already slammed their bedroom door with a force that shook the place. Guy stayed sitting on the couch, all alone once more. Great, you just had to be a dick because of your stupid fucking…feelings about the thought of them spending their time with someone else! 
He’s pathetic.
Here he was brooding over his roommate going out on a date only for whoever that moron was to throw away the fucking chance to spend time with them. But maybe he’s the bigger moron in this case. The guilt seeped into his bones and he felt them ache. What is going on with him? He was supposed to be there for them. To be a decent friend. But now, he just ruined their already shitty night more.
Truly pathetic.
His eyes darted to the last line he had typed on his laptop and he held his breath.
"The sea is a jealous being."
The lump in his throat became harder to swallow. He needs to make it up to them.
This is stupid. This is fucking stupid.
They should have never gone with it. They should have never accepted that asshole’s offer in the first place. 
The faint sounds of an old TV series played from their phone, which had long been abandoned within patterned sheets, accompanied the figure that was currently trembling under the blankets. Stuttering, hiccuped gasps filled the room with a suffocating gloom. They think their hoarse throat couldn’t handle another broken sob to let out, having already cried every single last drop of their wallow out hours ago, their hot cheeks sticky from its tears. 
It wasn’t like this was the first time something involving relationships didn’t work out with them. They were used to it. They should be used to it—being left out, avoided, and unwanted. (It’s just a stupid date, it wasn’t even meant to be serious. Why are you making it a big deal? Why are you so affected?)
Why are they so affected by this? What made them think they were all-so-suddenly desirable to someone? Why did they even think they had a shot at all this lovey-dovey shit in the first place? 
Stupid, stupid, stupid. They’re shit with expressing their emotions and even shittier with dealing with them. Their outburst a while ago was a testament to that, shouting at Guy when he didn’t know any better. Maybe everything tonight was doomed from the start, then. They should’ve expected the hurt. Heartbreak was far from being a stranger to them at this point.
A tired groan came out of them again. 
Tired. They’re so tired.
Hungry rumbles erupted from their stomach. Damn it. Thanks to their ‘date’, they weren’t able to eat. Fuck it. Waiting out until Guy’s in bed and sneaking out of their room to eat would probably be the best option. For now, they stay bundled in their bed—thoughts spiraling, head pounding, eyes swollen, and a heavy heart waiting for its pieces to be picked up again.
Then they’ll sleep it off like always. And then they’ll confront him about it, play it off like it’s another bad day so he’ll stop worrying because they know he will. Everything’s back to normal— they’ll apologize for the overreaction, he’ll joke about it and everybody goes on with their lives again.
Yeah. That could work.
Knock, knock! 
“Hello?”
What the–? Ugh. For the love of–
“Hello? Roomie? You there?”
When they wanted to confront the roommate that they snapped at, they didn’t mean right now!
“What do you want, Guy?” 
“Can you come out, please? It’s…important.” 
They finally stood up from their blanket cocoon, hastily wiping the tears from their eyes to try and ‘shoo’ their roommate away. The door swung open, ready to put on their whole grumpy facade again. “Guy, I’m not really in the mood for–”
“Good evening, prestige customer! Your dinner awaits.”
What.
“Wha-- How did– When did you–?” Not giving any mind to Guy’s abominable impersonation of a British accent nor the messy scrawls of black ink on paper that vaguely resembles a mustache taped to his mouth, their eyes wander around the living room, confused and curious. 
The atmosphere was completely different from the bleak apartment they had been enduring for months. Multicolored lights that they usually use for the holidays hung around the area, providing the dim room with enough light to give a dreamy ambiance. The small foldable table set they had for eating was moved to the middle, covered in what they remembered to be Guy’s freshly cleaned checkered blanket that they had just picked up from the laundry when they were doing errands. 
On the table were some scented candles in mismatched glass containers, and two servings of a dish they couldn’t recognize. They even noticed faint jazzy music playing in the background to imitate the mood of a pretentiously lavish restaurant.
Overall, the decor clashed together horribly, yet despite that, they’d never seen the apartment so charming. The improvised set-up looks endearingly…cozy. 
“Come, let me guide you to your table,” Guy, err, the waiter, dressed in a white longsleeved button-up and apron, led them to the center, pulling out a chair and tucking the napkin he had around the collar of their shirt. The man directed their attention to the ceramics containing what seemed to be their dinner this evening.
“Our main course that the chef has prepared for tonight is a creative twist of a classic European dish composed of a rich tomato-based sauce paired with a unique and innovative pasta shell shape, garnished with traditional Italian herbs and spices.” “Guy, that’s a bowl of SpagetthiOs with some dried basil sprinkled on top,���
“Shush! Don’t ruin the immersion. And I am not Guy! I’m a waiter! Ahem!” The totally legitimate server who is not their roommate coughed very un-fakely, before composing himself in a more very real professional stance (then again, that might actually be real, seeing that he also serves the tables at Max’s when he’s not out delivering). 
“I believe your date has returned. A very dashing fellow if I do say so myself, consider yourself lucky!” Guy suddenly ducked down out of view (though they could very much see him all the same) removing the mustache and button-up to reveal a shirt with a tacky tuxedo print on it. 
He stood up, fixed a few strands of his hair that stuck up from his sudden movement, and looked at the person in front of him with a beaming expression. 
“Hey, honey! Just got back from the restroom. Wow! The food looks amazing!”
All ‘Honey’ could do was stare dumbfoundedly before covering their smiling mouth with a trembling hand. A small chuckle became a bemused giggle until eventually they were full-on belly-laughing.
“H-Honey? Really? Where did you even get that from? And what the hell are you w-wearing?” Their voice shook, unable to contain any semblance of composure. This whole situation felt like it was pulled straight from a rom-com. 
Guy laughed with them as he sat down to his side of the table. “Oh, so you like it? The nickname…came to me naturally. Feel like it suits you a lot, seeing how sweet you are to me, right?”
 Honey, huh? They wouldn’t mind him calling them that. 
“Also, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I think I look the most classy I’ll ever be!”
“Well, I’m underdressed then.” Their laughter had died down, slowly processing everything going on, well, it made them want to cry. All of this, for them? It’s too much trouble to go through.
“Nah, you’re fine! And besides, you look pretty all the time—which by the way, is absolutely not fair! I’m supposed to be the hot roommate here!” He declared with a mock offended tone as he sassily put his hands on his hips. Honey hoped he wouldn’t notice how their cheeks burned at how casually he called them ‘pretty’, like it was second nature.
“Then again, I wouldn’t mind if you underdress some more, ehh–”
It was his comfortingly familiar lewd quips, something they didn’t realize they missed hearing, yet why did their eyes water instead? The sobs that they weren’t aware they had been keeping in broke their dam again. Their cheeks must’ve grown tired from their crying all night, but this time, these weren’t tears for some dickhead that ditched them. 
The abrupt stop of laughter and panicked sputtering from Guy after hearing their croaky sniveling would have had Honey laughing if they weren’t already struggling to breathe from their convulsive crying. “Oh, fuck! Uh, okay, sorry! I’m sorry! Bad timing! I shouldn’t have joked–”
“No, no, Guy, I’m sorry I–” They let out a shaky breath. “Wh–why did you go through all the trouble for me? I-I snapped at you and I don’t–,” hands wildly gestured around their surroundings. “–deserve all of this! I don’t– I’m so sorry I–”
“Hey, no, don’t apologize. You deserve this, okay? If someone like Kayla gets to share a night with her boyfriend then you, out of all people, deserve to spend your weekend having a great time and I won’t let some jerk ruin that for you,” He looked at Honey in the eyes with a sincerity that involuntarily made them shiver.
It’s not often that Guy was this serious with them. It was only reserved for moments when it was late at night and their teasing and gossip turned into deeper talks about anything and everything. They forgot how intense the look in his pretty eyes could get, how it felt like he saw through them, through their very being.
“I’m…one of those jerks, too. I really shouldn’t have said those words to you. You’re not selfish or an asshole. Your date was the asshole for not showing up and that’s a reflection on him rather than yourself. I just sprouted out those stupid things because I was just…bitter that you had your own plans when I really didn’t have the right to be.” Among other things. He decided not to bring up the other messy emotional stuff in his head. It’s not what they need to hear right now. “I’m really sorry for pushing you. I…really hope that you can forgive me but I would understand if you won’t.”
“I forgive you, Guy. Thank you for… for all of this. It really means a lot.”
They shared a tender smile as they continued their chatting with their dinner. By the time they cleaned the dishes and put everything back in its original place, the pair plopped down on the soft cushions of their sofa. Guy shifted himself into a better position to face Honey.
“I’m surprisingly still not sleepy. What else do you wanna do for tonight?”
“Hm…Smash?”
“Honey! How scandalous! Take me out to dinner first! Oh, well technically, I already did, so I guess your wish is my command after all—Ow!”
“I meant the game, you freak!” --- THIS FIC TOOK SOOOOO LONG i was so close to giving it up BUT WE'RE HERE EYYYY also this was suppose to have a bonus scene but ehhhh idk where i was going with it rlly rlly hope you enjoyed ;--; i'm still not rlly happy with how i wrote this but there are some parts that i rlly like so i decided to post it HAHAHAHA feel free to give me feedback :DD and have a nc day/night!!
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shoezuki · 3 months
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Ok random things/hc bout the aha!sampo divinity AU i was thinkin of
Aha at some is like. Yknow what fuck it im gonna reincarnate as a human n see whats up w this. So he basically takes bits and pieces, dropped change n spilled drinks on the floors of taverns, scrapes the side of the universe, takes scripts and stories and anything made from human joy n makes a body out of it
He starts off as a kid cuz he saw kids n were like o those guys seem to have fun hell ya.
He makes sampo koski and Becomes Him. Is taken in by the masked fools cuz they are all a lil fucked up so spendin too much time w em or struggling to hide his divinity can scramble their brains only so much...... probably.
Also these ppl who worship him not realizing the scrawny kid they took in is aha????? Thats funny as shit
Sampo grows up normally. Well he kinda got it a bit wrong n he grows at a wayyy slower pace than humans but he jus says he got caught in a temporal anomaly or smthing.
It takes him a long time to really get a hold on his powers/presence/divinity and ends up making people go mad quite often. Sometimes on purpose.
The masked fools send him to planets, give him scripts and have him portray characters and sow chaos. He bends reality a bit sometimes to make the scripts more fun. He creates a major presence on the masked fools and becomes infamous in some planets n ships thay marginally survived him
(Some of the things he does cant be attributed to him and it puzzles people. Theres no way a mere human could change the colours of stars or rearrange galaxies n move planets a lil to the left, right? He makes entire waterbodies taste like beer and makes trees bleed when cut and flips mountains upside down)
The role he's given in Jarilo is his longest one yet. Usually he's just like a force of nature running through but this time he becomes a Person on this planet
He meets the underworld ppl and they all have different reactions to his divinity the longer he's around them:
Natasha is fairly sensitive to his power but it doesnt really overwhelm her. She hears childrens laughter when hes around and the air feels warm like sunlight that Belobog hasnt experienced since the eternal freeze and every time he brings her medicine or carries out of her requests she tastes bubblegum on her tongue. She never says anything but sometimes she Stares n it makes sampo squirm
Oleg tenses every time sampo shows up but eventually forces himself to relax. But he always has to be aware of sampo at all times, can't ever turn his back to sampo or be unarmed around him. He has no clue why and thinks theres something wrong with him and its his problem not sampos. But sometimes when he looks at sampo he can almost swear he sees something shift over his skin
Seele doesnt notice anything for a long time. She has to be around sampo for hours sometimes days without break. But eventually she just becomes irrationally angry with him. Everything sampo does grates on her brain and makes her want to attack him. She doesnt think anything of it and just assumes its because sampo is annoying.
Luka is one of the least sensitive to divinity. Any anxiety or unease he feels around sampo he just attributes to sampo being a shady guy. Sometimes sampo's laughter and his voice feels heavy in his skull though
Children in general are highly sensitive and resilient to the divine: sampo doesnt know why. Maybe because theyre brains are still developing? Because they arent stuck in their own ideas of reality n rationality like adults? Regardless Hook KNOWS sampo isnt normal. She doesnt question it, she just knows sampo makes things fun.
He finds a lot of responses with those in the underworld: some want to worship him, others want him dead, some cant look at him without feeling sick. For some reason the overworlders tend to find him more unsettling and disconcerting. Qlipoth probably has nothing to do with it but Sampo blames qlipoth
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