yell at me when u get 2 page 3296
you got it boss
man i peaked with that one "c!wilbur is a gifted kid" meme i made months ago. everything since then has been mediocre jokes and subpar art. being funny is hard how do ccs do it
I peaked by a LOT with Connor Eats Ants and I've been living in its shadow ever since hsjdhdhs
being funny IS hard, I used to feel so safe in the realm of discourse and analysis where you didn't have to be funny but now I'm not smart enough for that and not funny enough for memes (/j /lh)
every time u mentioned everything i thought u meant like ALL their discography and i was like "valid." asdrftghj
Cnckdhshshs EQUALLY VALID but i will not pretend Everything is not the best song out of their entire discography 😤
u remember being like in 1st grade in computer lab free time with ur friends and like just the rush of excitement when somebody would find a New Website. everyone would be on poptropica or club penguin or girlsgogames and you’d look over at brandon’s computer and see he’s like woah playing like?? a dune buggy racing game?? and everyone would rush over to see the url and and go copy it down on the big beige dell computers they were sitting at and soon enough everyone’s playing the dune buggy racing game individually but collectively before starting the process over again the next day
am i warm enough for you?
➳ tags ;; soulmate au, strangers to lovers, fluff and angst but mostly fluff, some-what canon compliant, bakugo katsuki is bad at feelings, lots of Feelings™, you guys are adults but the end of the fic but the fic is sfw, alcohol, drunk confessions
➳ wc ;; 5.6k..
➳ plot summary ;; you see your soulmate in dreams - sometimes in bits and pieces and other times in full. bakugo is less than inclined to admit he even has a soulmate - and you learn how to cope with it, one day at a time.
bakugo learns that this soulmate shit is no joke. that has to be why he keeps falling for you so helplessly.
➳ a/n ;; i wasn’t even gonna comeback this early but it felt so wrong not to post on my bfs birthday so alas </3 for anyone who cares to know this is @elysianseraph but with my new url. nice to see u all <3
this was originally posted on 4/20 but im reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tags dskjds
A cloud of smoke settles over your body, permeating your lung. It smells like sugar, like burning, like smoke and a little like leather. You can feel your toes curl and your hands moving but your body is separate from you in a way you can’t describe. It’s a pleasant kind of warmth that spreads, creeping up from behind your neck till it’s soft and cradling your skull. It’s soft like the touch of a mother, like wool over your ears.
It’s a pleasant feeling, that’s all. Almost cozy but there’s a fading sense of distress that chills in your lungs as you encompass it. Your hands are too small to reach forward, and truthfully the sensation is so powerful that you’re afraid to reach out. You’re 6 years old, so all you know is how it makes you feel. You can’t remember many details, but you feel pleasant. Something about it is soft, but there’s a sharp edge right at the end that has your lungs gasping for air.
It’s a flash of colors. Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red. Orange. Red.
And then it fades into a feeling again. A blurry feeling. You feel conflict, then concern, then inadequacy in heavy waves almost like it’s drowning you. It’s the first time you’ve experienced such a pain, so your wailing and wiping tears away with chubby fingers and saying a name you don’t know and can’t remember.
Ka. You know the sound, Ka. But you don’t know of anything more. It repeats rhythmically in your mind like a knock on the door, rapping with urgency - but it doesn’t do anything to jog your memory. Someone is trying to be let in but you don’t know how to answer them, and you’re still crying. The distress, the inadequacy shakes you and all you feel is frustration in short simple bursts.
Your first encounter with your soulmate is written this way in your memory. A sense of urgency laced with frustration - but they’re not towards you. It’s him, his feelings - you can feel them even deeper then he can. They pierce you in a way that makes it hard to breathe, no matter how you try to escape them it’s an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. The only way to escape the feelings of a dream is either to control them, or to face them and swim through the fog.
Soulmates have an urgency to them, in general. His is different, you can tell as much. Your first soulmate dream leaves the heaviest impression and each one thereafter is like pieces of a puzzle.
Sometimes you simply share random dreams, like a split screen in a video game - the two of you witness different parts of the same dreamverse. Other times, and honestly - most times, you’re experiencing their emotions or feelings. You experience their core memories, their life, in flashes and bits and pieces.
It’s not enough to know them or who they are, it’s like know everything about them except the things that matter
Sometimes you meet too. Just barely.
The room is white. When you blink, colors flash in order - red, pale yellow, orange, forest green and you know. You blink a few more times, stretching your hands out in front of yourself. Curling your hands into fist then into stretched palms, you lean forward and stretch. You wriggle your toes - notice you're wearing shoes. Clothes from your closet. Strange.
You take a look around the room but there isn't much to see. There’s a wall in front of you with a glass divider and a mirrored empty room. The room across from yours has spiky decor littered against the walls. An orange dresser, plastic grenades and play guns. You know who it is without a second warning - and a foggy part in the back of your head tells you that it’s him, again but with more force. You don’t see anything in your room, but you figure he might. All of it is confusing to you.
Before you can blink, there’s a loud thud coming from the other side of the glass. It’s a silhouette, the outline of a face - but nothing clear. Dream logic dictates you can’t know a face you’ve never seen, yet somehow you know his outline. Spiky, he’s spiky everywhere.
“Hello?,” you call out, overly tentative. The figure pauses, seems to take in whatever they must be seeing. You’re not sure what response you’re expecting, really. There’s no expectations at all.
“...Who the fuck are you?,” says a pitchy, male voice. He sounds like he’s your same age, a highschool boy. His throat is rough, yet not overly deep. It’s almost scratchy.
You’re not sure how to reply. You can see him through the glass, but not really. Still, you take note of his shadows like they’re going to tell you anything more. You shove your hands in your pockets, messing around with something inside.
“Uh.. your soulmate, I think,” you reply.
Scratching the back of your neck as an awkward silence settles, you take a few minutes to try and figure what more to say.
“We met when we were kids once too,” you explain awkwardly. He must know, has too - this soulmate thing is a two way thing, but his silence is deafening. You just want to feel this space. Is it always this awkward?
“Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Forest Green,” you repeat, like a mantra. You hear him take in a sharp breath, and freeze. For some reason, you’d like to avoid upsetting him. He doesn’t seem like he’s taking to the information too well.
“I don’t have time for this damn bullshit… whatever quirk you’ve got to mimic this - cut it the fuck out,”
You pause, not sure how to feel. Half of you is offended, the other half is confused - had you done something to upset him? You can feel how he feels - but you don’t understand it. You sit with your mouth agape, like a fish out of water. Unsure of how to proceed, you scoff a little.
“Woah.. this isn’t a quirk thing. We’re.. soulmates? That’s already a thing,”
More silence. You’ve.. he doesn’t seem upset, but you can tell he’s not all that keen to the idea. It’s a bare minimum improvement that you find yourself valuing, without your consent. He breathes again, throat even more hoarse than before. His voice is angry but it doesn’t fit his responses, his feelings - so you don’t pay attention to his madness. Something is off.
“... I’m not supposed to have a soulmate. No fucking way I have a soulmate,” he grits. You step back, stumbling. You didn’t have any expectations.. but this wasn’t what you had been expecting at all. You feel uneasy, sick. It must be a shared feeling if the way he leans against a wall counts for anything.
A beat of silence passes before you open your mouth to speak.
“... I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to that,” you admit. He scoffs.
“Nothing you damn extra. Leave me the fuck alone,”
You don’t reply, too stunned. This was your soulmate? This.. asshole? Not that you were a peach entirely either, but this was supposedly the person that the universe had decided for you?
You shake your head. Maybe you’re just being rash? He could be a nice guy behind all the chaos. You try your best to hold onto that, that this was literally someone chosen for you before you gave up all hope. You sigh, cracking your neck.
“You can say whatever you want but.. we’re here, you know? It’s more productive to just go with it.. isn’t it?,”
“Go fuck yourself,”
“After meeting you, I’m not exactly over the fucking moon about it either. It is what is,”
“You’re not my fucking.. soulmate or whatever the fuck. Leave me alone,”
Your heart both aches with anger and sadness. You don’t know what to do. What does this shit-head know about you, anyway? You know he’s been through some shit, same as you - what makes him so entitled? You swallow the lump in your throat. It hurts. It pierces. Stupid soulmate bonds.
“Yeah? Alright. Fuck you too,”
You see him pace around for a longer before he disappears in a cloud of smoke. You didn’t even catch his name, and you’re not sure you wanted too. It must be morning, but at least you're away from him. It feels lonely, but it must just be you.
Your eyes flutter open but your heart is heavy with regret. You don’t know who it belongs to, but you’ve got class in an hour and not enough time to think about it. If he doesn’t want to meet you that’s fine.
It’s fine. Not like you wanted to meet your soulmate anyway.
You don’t have another meeting with your soulmate for months. Lately your dreams have little if anything to do with him or where he is, how he’s been. You have some of those split screen ones, where you know he’s there but neither of you acknowledge each other, even in spirit, like how you did before. When you wake up feeling angsty, you don’t know how to distinguish the feeling but you don’t try.
You wonder idly if he can feel your apathy, if he cares enough too. Maybe he also mistakes it for his own? It seems likely.
It’s a weekday where you’re getting ready for remedial classes at your school. First year advanced courses were no joke, and you find yourself regretting your choice to participate in them.
Still you get dressed anyway, put your uniform on and brush your teeth - wash your face with your eyes half open and look presentable. No one's home in the morning, the house is empty of any life but you. Food becomes a last minute priority, so you make an egg sandwich with cheese and eat it on the way to the train station.
You stare down at your feet as you step outside, music drowning out the noise of your surroundings aptly. The walk to the station is long and the ride is longer, but the streets are packed edge to edge. Musutafu is busy this time of year - the U.A. Sports Festival is taking place today and everything seems to reflect that. You barely manage to squeeze past all the strangers on the subway - clearly on their way to see it.
When you get to school, you're greeted by a mostly empty classroom with a teacher. These classes were straightforward as always, do the work you need to correct, have it approved and leave. It repeats until your finished with all the assignments and you get to be done. You give a respectful nod to your teacher before grabbing your work from your bag.
It goes on and on - occasionally, you hear an excited gasp and quiet chatter from classmates. It’s about the festival, the happenings - but you’re too caught up in completing your work that day and trying to get the fuck out of their as soon as possible.
Shit like that didn’t matter to you, anyways. It’s just a festival.
You leave around the same time the festival seems to have ended, the streets flooded with people - you miss the first station and wander towards an electronics store a block away from your highschool.
It’s the winners on TV. A guy with split hair - Shouto Todoroki, Endeavors son. A guy with a bird head, and a blonde with red eyes - muzzled to the pole.
When you see them, your heart stops. You can feel anger, an unfamiliar rage and humiliation building in your chest. It feels the word has stopped as you watch from afar, through screens. Your soulmate seems upset about something, but you wouldn’t know what.
And that blonde on TV, you wonder if you know him from somewhere.
Red.Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red.
You feel him before you even know what’s happening - and it catches you completely off-guard. You haven’t had a proper soulmate dream in two years. Smoke clouds your lungs, the taste of sugar burning your tongue as you cough yourself into awareness. This time, you’re not in a room but it’s a campground. In the middle of the space is a bonfire, burning warmly. This one feels more vivid, more real.
But you know it’s not, your body feel unusually light and your hands can’t hold anything for too long. You know it’s a dream, but you sit in the chair anyway. It feels like you're floating. You feel oddly warm. Dread builds in the pit of your stomach. Even though it’s been so long since you’ve spoken to your soulmate - you can’t forget the terrible first encounter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth - a bitter memory that fills you with unexplainable, irrational resentment.
But it’s not like you hadn’t been seeing him, to an extent. You’ve seen all his memories in bits and pieces - all of them tragic and painful. This time, you see people but they come in the form of small scraps. Spiky Red. Electricity. Tape. Pink with Horns. Music. Green. So much green and red - like Christmas, you’ve called it. You’ve seen disappearances, fear, anguish - so much anguish.
In the weeks after All Might’s fall, you were in so much pain - you couldn’t stop crying for days. It’s been enough time to know what feelings were yours and which were his - and these ones felt so much like him. It went on for nearly a year - you’d almost got accustomed to it. If tears showed up to blot the ink of your lecture notes, you didn’t think twice about it. You tried to keep yourself calm, steady - in hopes you could lend your soothing to him. Even if he hated your guts, you could barely believe so much sadness could exist in one person. You didn’t know what happened but whatever it was - it must’ve been terrible. At the very least, you felt sympathy.
Sympathy was enough to get by for a long time. A neutral, level-headed sympathy that helped soothe some of your own hurt.
All that said, you were hardly expecting to see him again - especially not this soon. You don’t remember the last time you thought about him in anything other than passing - actively. It’s one thing to know what's happening - you’ve felt him passively everyday for damn near two years.
But it’s another thing to see him in front of you, force yourself to acknowledge him as your soulmate even if he insists on not doing the same.
You squirm in your chair, noticing that you’re wearing PJ’s instead of clothes. Just a hoodie and sweats, none of which fit you quite right. You pull your sleeves over your hands, fiddling with the stray strand of thread loose.
“What the fuck is this shit?,”
Your stomach drops. Unsure of what to say, you opt to say nothing at all. Just let him be, sit quietly in your dreams and mind your business. Maybe he’ll wake up soon and it’ll all be over.
You can’t see him from the corner of your vision but you can hear him shuffle. The way he touches things, noticing how they make noise but don’t feel quite right in his hands. How it feels real but doesn’t, how it is real and isn’t. Surely, he’s noticed you by now. The lingering silence makes you squirm.
You flinch, lifting your head up slightly to meet his gaze. His expression is unreadable, but it’s different from before. In a fleeting moment, something occurs to you.
You can see him. What he looks like. Blonde with red eyes, and a sharp chin and thin waist. You know it must mean you’ve seen him before - perhaps you’d even seen each other, but for your life you can’t remember where you’ve seen his face. It’s right there, on the edge of your mind, but you’re stumped.
“Oh,” your reply comes short, strained. Your eyes flutter as you press your lips into a flat line. “Uh, hi,”
The blonde sits in the chair, slumping down. His eyes go towards the flickering flames without another word and you decide it’s best not to engage. It stays like that for a while, a beat of silence - not awkward but not comfortable, passing by without another thought. It all feels real, present - not like normal dreams. This must be the special kind of soulmate thing you find yourself feeling resentful towards.
His eyes are heavy. Relief is overwhelming him, with an iron grip and he’s worried you can feel it. If you can, you don’t say a word.
“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” he admits.
The words sound tender passing through his mouth, unmistakably so - but you don’t get your hopes up. Instead, you give him a placating laugh, leaning forward towards the fire and mirroring him.
“I didn’t think so either,”
When it falls silent, it feels comfortable. It’s not like either of you have anything to say to each other right now, with no manual on how this was supposed to go. If he even wanted to go there.
“I can.. see you,” you start. He squints.
“You couldn’t before?,”
This takes you by surprise. You shake your head.
“No..Could you? See me, I mean?,”
Bakugo feels heat rise to his skin. Oh. Huh.
“Yeah,” he replies, a sharp inhale leaving his lungs “I can see you,”
There’s something tense in the air. It’s a strange sensation - to know the deepest and most intimate parts of someone without even knowing their name proper, or where they went to school, or what they normally eat for breakfast. All that connects you are these mutual feelings, shared grief that holds you two to the title of soulmates. This odd bond.
“..d’ya still think I’m a quirk wielding villain?,” you laugh, or try too - you’re doing your best to cut the tension. He can feel your hurt all the way from your sit, so deep in his gut - it’s been haunting him for years. How many nights of sleep he’s lost knowing there are soft and helpless tears coming from these suppressed feelings. He doesn’t know how to say sorry, so he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He’s changed a lot in two years - but not enough to be good at this.
“No, I don’t,”
He smiles, just a little. It’s gentle, casts shadow on his face from the light of the fire. It’s warm, everything feels warm and better and invigorating. When you look at him and his uneasy expression - you know he feels it too.
“By the way, uhm - what’s your name? Ka.. something? Right?,”
His eyes shoot up in surprise. He nods a little.
“Katsuki Bakugo,” he replies, expectantly. You seem surprised that he wants to know yours.
“Y/N Y/L/N,” comes your reply.
“Nice to meet you,” says him, Bakugo - your soulmate.
“Nice to meet you too,”
Getting to know Bakugo is unusually easy. You get the feeling it wouldn’t be, in the case that you were anything but soulmates - but Bakugo has never known being this intimate with someone other than you. Despite himself, how much he hates himself - you never seem too. Even though you feel and see all the ugliest parts of him - have since he was small enough to still be innocent, you always treat him the same.
Your conversations are short, and shallow. Regardless, he’s not used to talking so much about himself. But you’re always curious, so much so Bakugo doesn’t have the heart to see your countless questions go unanswered.
You keep a little notebook of all of your encounters. You remember them by heart but write them down too, just in case you miss something. You ask about his friends - Spiky Red and Soft Green, referring to them that way even after you’ve known their names. You ask about his work - the life of a dangerous hero, and if he ever gets nervous flying through the air.
Admittedly, he’s mean to you. He teases you so frequently, he’s lost count of all the times you’ve huffed and puffed at his sarcastic remarks. Still, you never turn away from him. You stand with your foot down and your arms crossed over your chest - insistent on making him feel flustered too. And it works, somehow - because you know all too much about Bakugou and always gets him right where he’s most conscious about. You don’t have to tease him about his feelings since you know them like the palms of your hand.
But these shallow conversations always mean a little more to him that he knows how to verbalize, and half the time he doesn’t need to do that at all. You’ve learned the masterful of working around him quietly, making all the parts of that feel too big to love - something small and fragile. Somehow, you’ve made being with him, even as friends - feel like less of an impossible feat but a dream.
Katsuki Bakugo has been in love with you since he was 6 years old. There must be some feelings we cannot share with our soulmates, because he has no idea if you feel it or not. He just knows he does, somewhere deep in the cavern of his heart, he loves you.
You never cross the barrier of romance with him, though. A paralyzing fear seems to settle in your bones when you breach too close to love and intimacy - and Bakugo understands those feelings, even if he doesn’t know exactly why they’re there. It’s not something you’ve decided to tell him yet, but he feels it in the same way he feels your loneliness. You may be kind but you’re more guarded than he is, and not fearless but reckless.
But he still finds himself aching to love and be loved by you, no matter how much he hates it. The yearning still manages to swallow him, even late into the night.
It’s been a while since your last meeting with Bakugo but not long. You were 21 now, but your dream visits were frequent. When you weren't speaking or seeing him through dreams - you were watching him on TV. You’d been yet to meet with him in real life but to you, that was okay. Seeing him like this had been more than enough.
Today was different. Normally, that bonfire was always a back-drop to these little encounters but it was a field today - a filed with rolling hills and hundreds of flowers and tall grass that made you feel itchy. The sun was permanently stuck right before it set but it was so warm everywhere. When you get there, there’s a blanket on the top of one of the hills. You sit on it cautiously and watch the wind pass. Everything is tinged orange, and red - you know he’s there with you before he appears.
When he does, he seems different. You glance over at him as he stumbles towards you in a stupor, and when he does finally sit - you get a whiff of alcohol coming from his neck and mouth. It’s strong enough to make a little dizzy. Blinking owlishly, he sits crisscross besides you, staring a little at the surroundings.
“..the fuck?,” he slurs. You can’t help but break out into a laugh. He nearly falls over, body swaying so you bring his head down to your shoulder wordlessly, a furious heat running all over your skin. Even though you can’t feel him, the gesture makes you feel something in your belly.
“Why’re you so drunk?,”
“Birthday,” he mumbles. Your eyes widen in surprise. Bakugo is seemingly unfazed, eyes drooping with tiredness. He’s completely inebriated.
You feel yourself grow tender. You’d have to wake up and remember the days date. Despite all the times you’ve met, you had no clue about his birthday or how he celebrated. You feel your heart ache at the idea you’ve spent the latter half of it together, in your own way.
“Happy Birthday, Bakugo.”
“Bakugo this, Bakugo that,” he growls, a little incoherent “We’re supposed to be fucking soulmates and you still call me by that.. damn name.”
He hiccups a little as you sit there stunned. You blink.
“.. You think of us as soulmates?,”
“Are you some kind of moron?,”
You scowl, flicking his forehead with your thumb and forefinger. He makes a noise of indignance.
“Well, how would I know? When we first met, you didn’t seem enthused about it,”
Bakugo sighs tiredly.
“I was 15 and an asshole - clearly I don’t fuckin’ feel that anymore,”
You seem surprised again.
Instead of swearing at you, he closes his eyes and gets closer to you. The liquor runs through his system like liquid courage and he nods a little.
“Not at all,”
“What do you..”
“What do you think I mean?,” he barks a laugh. You feel your pulse under your skin, drumming against your chest like a hammer. You can’t even breathe.
You’ve had feelings for Bakugo from the second proper meeting you’d had with him. It was clear as a day that he was your soulmate for good reason, that inexplicable draw that kept your heart from ever belonging to anyone else. You tried to - tried to go on dates and see other opportunities through but he was always so one of a kind.
Yet, you’d given up all hope that it would mean anything to harbor these feelings, convinced that Bakugo simply wasn’t interested in you In doing any of this. You didn’t want to force him into something he didn’t want - so you kept your distance with hope that he’d still be in your life. It was enough, or you’d wanted it to be.
It’d be a lie to say that you hadn’t started thinking about it more and more as the days pass. What it would be like to see him, touch him and love him and be with him for real - these passive daydreams gone vivid. If he could see your dreams, he must know about them. But you didn’t know how to approach it - how to approach love at all.
That’s the thing with soulmates. You’re told that you’ll just have the answers, destiny will do the hard work but that’s far from true. Because even now, with Bakugo leaning on your shoulder with this confession lingering in the air - you don’t know what to do.
“Stop being so nervous,” he mumbles. You stumble a little over yourself.
“You really need me to say it, huh?,” he sighs. He picks himself. If he’s drunk and reckless, then fuck it - he’s gonna take it all the way. He drops his head onto your lap with a tired sigh.
“I think you’re my soulmate, you fuckin’ idiot,” he admits.
And it’s hard to say, because feelings don’t come easy for Bakugo Katsuki - but it’s the least he can do. All Bakugo Katsuki has ever known is to be lonely. It’s a loneliness that he’d forced on himself. Bottling up all the anger and sadness and swallowing it. It’s long since sunk it’s claws into him. That overwhelming, all consuming ugly feeling that lingers underneath that superiority complex.
That no one would ever, could ever love the ugliness that lingers in him. That no one who knew him for what he truly is, could care for him. Deku was the first of many disbeliefs and not much had changed.
Except for when it did. Except for when he met you - in a dream, and you were real and beautiful even at 15. That the universe hadn’t been playing some sick joke on him when he kept seeing you in his dreams, so soothing to his teenage loneliness. You were real and that was so fucking scary.
But you loved him anyway. Looked out for him when he was at his lowest - the soothing beat of your heart in the days after All Mights end . When he cried himself into sleep and dreamed of you. God, how he dreamed of you. Not especially romantic dreams, but dreams of how you made breakfast. How you watched cartoons on Sunday and read manga in your classes instead of the assigned work. How you fell asleep on the train station and always ate icecream after big tests. How you were especially mundane and how he got to be apart of that everyday routine.
After all, you see dreams of each other, but Bakugo has no clue what your dreams of him look like. His have always looked like you though.
When he was worthless and empty and unable to give you anything meaningful, to apologize or put his pride away - you had loved him anyway. Felt for him with clumsy hands and held on, not letting go. Even when he was begging for you to leave him alone, in fear of this all being nothing more than a cruel dream - you held on tightly to him. With your silly notebook questions and dumb names.
Bakugo Katsuki has never known what it means to love someone who isn’t you. Even if you found someone else and there was someone better than you for him, he would grit his teeth and bear it. He wonders if he’ll ever believe he deserves you. He wants to believe you’re his soulmate - to believe you wont ever leave. To believe that he did something right enough that the universe could give him someone like you.
And he wishes he could say all this, but he can’t - he just closes his eyes and hopes you can feel it.
“You’re so mean,”
“Isn’t that why you like me?,” he grins.
And you can feel his sincerity. He should feels yours too.
“I love you, actually,”
He gasps, a sharp breath that stabs his lungs. He feels sober from the confession.
His voice is gravelly when he speaks.
“Yeah, shit - me too,”
Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. The address is correct, it has to be with the way this place looks. Only a hero could live here, with the floors that lead up to skies. He lives on 3rd floor, so you swallow your fear. You give yourself a thumbs up in the glass window pane of the building before entering through the doors.
When you get there, a box sits. You press the button next to his place, bouncing on the balls of your feet until you answer.
His voice feels different in real life. You cough.
“Uh, hi,” you greet awkwardly “I’m here,”
“Oh,” he says. You hear something buzz and then him again. “Come on up,”
And you do. The elevator ride feels like it stretches mild, classic piano echoing against the empty walls. You feel yourself feel sick but you’re not sure it’s from the movement. All you can do is fidget and wait.
When the doors open, you peak your head out into the hallway. He’s the first one on the left, just as promised. You can see a welcome mat - forest green, and something in you knows that it’s the right one.
You step up and knock, three times precisely. Your heart is all the way in your ears and everything in you is filled with unease and excitement.
When the door swings open, the world stops. You gape like a fish out of water in disbelief. He’s tall and big like he promised he’d be, but you’re unprepared. His chin is scruffy, eyes full of sleep. Strong chest and arms that seem to crowd your vision, you don’t know what do.
His expression is full to the brim with feelings you’ve never seen. He steps aside with his head ducked down.
You take your shoes off and place them in the slippers meant for you - they fit you just right, and it can’t be a coincidence. Your heart swells up a little as you take your coat off, hanging it on the rack. You can feel his eyes as they linger on your silhouette.
Before you can get a word out, you feel strong arms wrapped around your waist. His scruff brushes against the skin of your neck as he holds you tightly too him. The warmth of his breath lingers on your neck - and he hiccups, a sob stored in his rib cages let out with a howl. The tears blur your vision too. You can feel his drip onto your shoulder as you snivel into his neck. Your legs feel weak, but he holds you up at the door - the only thing keeping you standing.
You cling around him tightly, your nails digging into the meat of his shoulders. It’s him, your soulmate, Katsuki Bakugo. He’s real and holding you - and he smells like leather and sugar and a fireplace. He’s warm and strong and overwhelming and your crying into his shoulder with so much feeling you don’t know what to do. You hit him weakly, unsure of what do with yourself and he laughs.
“Damn you, shitty woman - makin’ me fucking cry,” but his voice is strained. It’s like something connected, how you feel each other so intimately in that moment. Not only because you’re soulmates, but because you love each other so deeply. Your heart feels heavy.
When you pull away, you manage to give him a warbly smile.
Your hands cradle his face - so handsome and wonderful. You lean forward, emboldened, and peck him. He melts into your touch like he’d been waiting for this moment his whole life. It makes you grin.
Maybe you don’t realize that he had.
He’d been waiting for you all this time.
new game for you🕹️😚 let's show some love to gif-makers on this side and tag some whose coloring you love and gif-makers that you always admired!
okay this is gonna take me a loooong time because i actually want to compliment everyone that has been a mutual of mine! i tend to avoid these asks but not today, and i will reblog the ones i have been mentioned in soon <3333
i am so sorry if i forgot everyone, i tried my best to include all of you!
prepare your search <3
PART 2 here
let's start with saying that every single person i am following OR who is following me has been an inspiration at some point <3
I will go in order on my following list, so you can see mostly (accidental unfollowings do happen) who were the first people i followed, but that's all, the order means nothing else <3
i will also be using gender neutral terms because honestly it's a lot easier i hope that's okay <3333 and i take no responsibility for my own typos <3333
@jung-koook following sky on this site is basically the number 1 step in my opinion lol the quality and quantity of every single set is astonishing, and sky is a sweetiepie as well, a great inspiration for all creators <3
@hopekidoki funfact, before i first looked into blogs i actually wanted to use the url hopekidokie :) jess' is one of if not THE most important hobi gifmaker(s) on this site. I can spot the colouring from a mile, the quality is always amazing, and i will forever adore this gifmaker <3
@sugajimin soph was one of the first blogs i followed as well, i think maybe the 4th? the quality of gifs has always been immaculate, and i am glad to see that they are back in business <3
@dazzlingkai elisabeth is a multi fandom queen, the gifsets are always very high quality, sometimes surprisingly good, and they had actually been the help in starting my very own creator journey <3 one of my very first creator mutuals <3
@dearbangtansonyeondan emma has also been one of the first people i have followed here, and i was extremely happy when we became mutuals because i admired every single set <3
@everythingoes taylor has been on hiatus for a while but i can not not mention them, because before they stopped making their bts gifs, they had been one of my favourites <3
@yoongi-bts luna is a woah... can't put into words how amazing gif creator, i am absolutely in love with every single set, from the colouring to the sharpening, everything <3
@jinminkookss brooke has always been an essential part of my journey here, not only is an amazing creator whose work i admire, but also has provided us links and dvds for things i couldn't find elsewhere. forever grateful <3
@daechwitas rachel's work has also been very consistent and admireable, amazing compilations and wonderful sets of multiple members <3
@jimint polly has also made amazing sets, and even though they are not making too many anymore, i still cherish the older ones <3
@taeyungie now i am here to say that em is one of the best creators on this site as well. the quality of their gifs is just *chef's kiss* and i could go on all day but i shouldn't. also em is a sweetiepie who deserves love and success coming their way <3
@jeonjcngkook jooordieee is my baby and i will fight everyone who hurts them :) i am so happy to have witnessed the amazing journey that is them being a gifmaker. the sheer amount of sets and compilations should be enough to convince anyone to follow, but on top of that we have the amazing quality of everything and the loveable personality as well <3
@hobibestboy teresa has been on hiatus as well, but it wouldn't be me if i didn't mention them. every single set is a beauty, and i truly miss their works for our lord and savious jung hoseok <3
@eternal-bangtan now i'd just like to take a minute to say i hope karina is well and safe right now, and i wish i could do anything besides wishing for their safety <3 as a creator, karina has always been top of the game, very easily recognisable colouring style, scary amount of creations, and always amazing quality. also their personality is just wonderful <3
@kkulmoon amai is one of my most precious mutuals, and same goes as for jordie that whoever hurts them will meet my fists <3 amai's gifs have always been wonderful, the compliations, the colourings, the solo sets, everything has been beautifully made and i am so happy to call her a friend <3
@kimtaehyunq okay now.. maggie.. you scare me lol maggie has always been putting out crazy amount of creations, like so many that i can barely catch up sometimes unless i reblog everything all at once. always on top of the game, very recognisable quality and colouring style, and just an overall wonderful creator <3
@namgination katarina has such a wonderful and unique style in both edits and gifsets, that it puts them to the top of the list as creators. Amazing work, always flawless, and a wonderful person <3
@yoongikook mollie is also one of the first gifcreators who have inspired me with their work. Always amazing quality, great colouring, and just overall amazing creations <3
@suga-ssi i have always adored phim's work, throughout all the urls lol fantastic quality, great colouring and sharpening, and the sweetest blogger <3
@namchyoon anna has also been one of the first inspirations as a gifmaker, the love for cyans and taejoon are forever stuck in my brain next to their name lol great quality creations, and a large amount of sets to love <3
@honsool jay has a veeery easily recognisable colouring and style, wonderful sets in general by a very loveable blogger who has not been too active lately but still has my heart <3
@jiminswn now alice has one day started posting gifs (do i remember correctly that you have been in the creator game just took a break?) and like.... scared me of how good the sets were... it wasn't fair tbh lol amazing creator, wonderful personality, overall sweetiepie who deserves endless love <3
@young-jae i am always going on about sof's creations, but i just can't say anything negative about this creator's works. always on top of the game, fantastic colours, the most wonderful sharpening settings, and sof is just a babe. i said it <3
@pinkbeanjin now if you want to follow a one in a million creator, that's shirley. not only they have a wonderful personality that kind of just grabs you by the hand and kisses your cheek, their work as a creator is also just... fabulous. bts pixel art is something that i have only seen here, and it's so special and so beautiful that i can not put it into words <3
@jimimn now where do i start with shivi wow.... i love this person kfjasgf the quality of gifs is just???? and the quantity too???? and the style is always so just... just so shivi. i even have their bday in my calendar but ssshhh <3
@dreamaze now i just have to say that even though i do not reblog most of wings' content because it's multifandom, i am in love with most of them. I mean just look at the pinned txt set???? that is one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen??? <3
@jihopes jules has not been very active as a creator nowadays but that does NOT take away from the fact that everything that has been put out there so far by them is absolutely amazing. the quality, the colouring, the sharpening, the ideas, everything.... fantastic <3
@sopev now i might be wrong, but i started following daphne on their sideblog, then i followed their main (this one) when i realised they rb great things, and then after months of being mutuals i discover on accident that they are also an amazing creator??? and i felt like i had been cheated on because i didn't realise such an obvious thing????? amazing creations 10/10 <3
@slipped-away oh i have to mention han too, even though they had not been very active as creator nowadays (which i am very sad about :(), their work??? is phenomenal??? amazing headers, edits, icons, etc, i am in awe of everything <3
@marvelousbangtan crystal makes absolutely wonderful gifs, and is always choosing the very sets that pull at my heartstrings with full force, can only recommend <3
@taejinnies anj is now back in the game, which is the happiest moment this week because we missed them lots, so please go support this wonderful creator <3
@serotaejin aahana (ash) is an absolutely amazing creator, always great quality gifs, with fabulous colourings and just the perfect sharpening settings. i still remember how shocked i was when i learnt they make gifs <3
@heybaetae kelli has always been putting out great content after great content after great content, amazing colourings, very vibrant and bright (could honestly never copy, idk how they do it) fantastic quality and beautiful work in general <3
@introtae even though astrid is on hiatus (technically) i have to mention their lovely sets, the quality is always amazing, and i love the warm tones and overall feeling <3
@jjeons bianca has been inactive as well, but i cannot not mention their amazing creations, with their fabulous quality <3
@seongz vivi is a fantastic ateez gifmaker, and is an absolute sweetiepie <3
@junghosoks pati has not been active as a creatior nowadays, which i am very sad about, because i have always loved their creations with all my heart and soul. they are also a wonderful person in general that i am very happy to know <3
@kimtaegis annie is one of the best creators in this fandom right now as well. crazy amount of creations with amazing quality, always on top of the colouring game when it comes to gifs, and the graphics are superior as well, and is a sweetiepie <3
@hyunsung i have only good things to say about mona's gifs. the quality is *chef's kiss* every single time, the colours are vibrant and clean, and their works are just generally beautiful <3
@jiminslight i am very sad about soph's hiatus, but nothing can stop me from saying nice things about them. their creations have always been very unique when it comes to colouring and sharpening style, and they are the sweetest person ever as well <3
@tanyoorine jes also has one of the most unique creations on this site (as shirley). their work is simply art, literally. i am always amazed by the quality and thought behind the process, and i can only say wonderful things about this creator <3
@jjungcooks now i just loooove alex's creations. the colouring is always the prettiest and the quality is fabulous. you can also never have enough of wonderful jk creators <3
@suuho kaz in amaaaaziing multi fandom creator. the quality of their sets is just mesmerising, the colouring is amazing and the sharpening settings are just wow <3
@dumpling-yoongi marielle (who has the most beautiful name in the universe) is an amazing creator. i had to take several seconds to move on from the latest hobi post just to say this. the colours are so vibrant and soo clear, and since i am a sucker for beautiful large gifs, and there are plenty of them here it's obvious that i'm in love, fabulous <3
@v-hobi one of the best coloured sets, with the most beautiful sharpening settings, all i have to say is that inès is one of the best creators in this fandom right now as well <3 and i really hope i got your name right
@taehyungq everybody give way to mel, the popstar of this site right now! the looove i have your gifs especially the 365 days of bangtan series, is astronomical. but back to third person talk. mel is a wonderful creator, with excellent colouring and sharpening settings, seriously, fantastic work <3
@min-boongie ever since réka has first opened photoshop i have not known peace. the constant attacks in high quality have not been good for my health. i request termination immediately. but anyways, amazing colouring, great quality, crazy quantity, loveliest personality, i only have good things to say about this lil pumpkin <3 and as i have mentioned with several others, you hurt her you get hurt <3
@jinv val has been one of the first people i have followed here, and my very first mutual, who have always made sure other creators feel good, are proud of their work and are feeling appreciated. my heart broke when val has deactivated, but now they are back, amazing as ever, with one of the best quality content on this site. I could go on for pages about how lovely this person is, but i might seem a little biased, so i just wanna say i love them <3
@mintvae ema has suuuuch a pretty style that i can only love and say wonderful things about <3
@yoonqiful ash has not been very active lately as a creator for very oobvious reasons <3 but their work has always been very unique and one of a kind <3
(sees new icon and url on the dash) hmm i wonder who this is (posts paranatural) woah hi rowan :)
Thank you so much for the tag @pequenaroo. <3 <3 <3 I appreciate you a lot!! I've read yours and it fascinates me just how cool you are of a person. I am glad to get to know you. <3
Nickname: I am usually called Jin, Rej, Rejin, Ren, Renj, Renji, Rere, Michi, Mich, Din, Den.
Star sign: Cancer
Height: 5'0 💁♀️
Time: 11:55 AM
Birthday: June 23
Favorite bands: Kodaline, Sleeping At Last, IV of Spades, Cigarettes After Sex, Coldplay, Eraserheads, Radiohead, Ben&Ben, etc.
Favorite solo artists: Birdy, Hozier, Lana Del Rey, Zild Benitez, Lauren Aquilina, Adele, Ruth B, Kacey Musgraves, James Bay, Moira De La Torre, Aurora, Bruno Mars, Taylor Swift, etc.
Favorite Foods: Lechon, Adobo, Crispy Pata (so filipino mode XD), takoyaki, sushi and sashimi, fried and steamed siomai, carbonara pizza, anything as long as it's food lol
Favorite colors: Black, golden yellow, pink
Last thing I googled: Steps on how to do the pixie cut hairstyle (done at home).
Last show I watched: Ghost Doctor (Last show I rewatched, Bad and Crazy / currently watching, Dangerous Partners)
Last movie I watched: Once again, I'm stuck with rewatching. Last movies were Atonement, The Merciless, Hwayi: A Monster Boy (yes, rewatching these at the same time is possible).
Lucky number: 4 (no reason)
When did I create this blog? Around September last year (I guess). That was when I was searching for Killer and Healer script/novel translated in English, and since I found excellent reviews instead, I ended up creating this blog 'cause I too wanted to write.
Do I have any other blogs? Yes, unfortunately — I cannot access that anymore because I made that one around 2012 (when I used to be a feral kpop fan) and I was too young and too dumb to even memorize my password. Lmao.
Do I get asks? Yes, sometimes. The first one I got was when I was asked if I'm a human or not (but that idiot is a close friend of mine, lol) and I had to really analyze myself just to know the answer like I always did back in college days while solving accounting problems. Af. It was the hardest ask ever! xD
Why did I choose my URL? Evil (because I want to always be reminded about Beyond Evil) and Moonlight (because the word reminds me of Jiang Yue Lou and Chen Yu Zhi from Killer and Healer).
Blogs you follow: woah, didn't expect it would already reach 290 Tumblrs. (majority of them come from the merciless evil devil from hell megafandom, BL, and minority are the poetry enthusiasts)
Dream trip: I'll start with the local tourist destinations here in the Philippines, apart from my own, another Southeast Asian country would be Thailand (just because I'm always mistaken as Thai, lol) then I would love to travel around some parts of East Asia particularly Japan and Taiwan, and the most interesting part is visiting Europe (UK, Italy, Ireland, Netherlands — Amsterdam (the Anne Frank House), Finland, Greece, and Spain (because one of my best friends is currently living there), actually I want to visit the whole Europe. XD), also Algeria, Morocco, and New York City (at the public library where Ash died peacefully reading Eiji's letter 😭, like I'll be having a Bananafish adventure).
Instruments: used to play guitar, and now I'm starting to learn ukulele, and would love to try the piano in the nearest future.
Average hours of sleep: weekdays would be 6-7 hours, weekends would be no sleeping schedule or if I'm lucky enough, 3-4 hours (I know it's not good for the health but)
How many blankets do you sleep with? One is enough.
No pressure tags: @inescated @sashkitty @kimsunho @lamaladelcuento @we-will-fall-in-hell-together 💖
ur new theme is so pretty btw its got such nice colours augh. also ctubs :}}} in your icon :}}} he is sooo. i got the ctubs url btw i was like hmmm and then it wasnt taken??? for some reason?????? so like. woah
THANK U my theme i enjoy very much, i like the whole vibe. kinda creepy (the gate that is)
ALSO HOLY CRAP!!! that’s an awesome url! i’m surprised it wasn’t taken as well :O
WOAH NEW URL NEW THEME ???
THANK U!!!! i miss the old url ir might come back 😭
woah.. new url
this is whta happens... when ou get on my silly side
woah new url its like im a different person
I actually cant believe that I found you after logging in my old blogg and FINDIG THE FUCK OUT THAT YOU DEACTIVATE YOUR OLD BLOGG WITHOUT SAYIN ANYTHING TO ME HGNMMMP>:(
you dont know how sad I was tee 😭 i was like "woah ok wtf happened what did I miss:("
But I'm glad that your still are on Tumblr ( I hope that you are the tee I know 🚶♀️ainfisjsis or else this is weird aff)
However I hope you are doing fine and had a god start in 2022 <3 take care love
FUCK FUCK FUCK SODA OMG NO WAY NO WAY IM CRYING I MISSED YOU SO MUCH
I WAS GONNA DM U BEFORE I LEFT THAT BLOG TO TELL U MY NEW URL AND THEN I SAW YOU WERE ARCHIVED AND MOVED AND ITD BEEN A WHILE SINCE U POSTED U LEFT SO I FIGURED YOU WERE INACTIVE THERE. I WAS SOBBING I WAS LIKE NOOOOO SODA SOBSOBSOBSOBSOB
im so excited u found me literally jumping up in joy omg this is the best thing thats happened to me at 8:30 am
woah dude i just realized this is you!! nice new url I like it a lot 👍👍
Thank you!!! I wanted to go for a little bit of a magical-ish feel :)
What You Need (Intrulogical)
Two days without eating and three without sleeping sounded like the normal schedule for college student Logan Berry. He's in class all day and works all night just to barely pay off his rent every month. Constant bills leave little room for bare necessities, and it's clear that his current lifestyle is very damaging. While looking for solutions, he comes across one that seems... mediocre at best, but he's desperate. What is this solution? A sugar daddy.
this is a sugar daddy story. that means there will be sex. kinky sex, especially further on. im not going to put a warning at the beginning of each chapter so heres your warning for the entire book. each new chapter will most likely have a different smut scene, so read with caution
Also! This is a copy of my story from wattpad that im posting here because i want to get into using tumblr :DD so... pog!
"You look like shit," Janus comments, taking a seat next to Logan in their lecture hall. Logan can hardly muster a groan in response, leaning uncomfortably over his notebook in order to review the notes he had taken the day before.
He looks up at Janus, giving Janus a good look at the bags under Logan's eyes, no doubt from him being forced to stay up all night working.
"Another night shift?" Janus questions, and Logan nods.
It's all he could take, due to the fact he had school in the mornings and studied for a bit after school. But, he had to make money somehow, seeing as getting evicted and/or starving was out of the question.
Janus sighs, kicking his feet up onto the table in front of them, earning a glare from Logan.
"That's not proper classroom etiquette, you know," he grumbles, which earns a grin from Janus.
"And? What are you gonna do about it?" Janus asks, sass clear in his voice. When Logan rolls his eyes and sets his head down on the desk, Janus laughs. "That's what I thought. Absolutely nothing."
"Why do I put up with you again?"
"Even I don't know the answer to that question." Janus snickers, as the room slowly fills up. There's not many kids, so they're all spread out in the hall. Most people sit apart; hardly any of them even have the energy to become acquainted with each other.
The professor walks in minutes later, announcing his presence with an over-exaggerated "good morning class" that makes both Logan and Janus groan.
Logan picks his head up off his desk, rubbing away the drool that had pooled on the front of his notebook, before he opened it up.
The professor spoke way too fast, and Janus didn't even try to listen, while Logan's tired brain tried to keep up with everything that was being said. Janus went back and forth between zoning out and musing at Logan's determined attitude.
Despite the fact it was early, and Logan was clearly tired, he still valued his education and everything the professor said.
After this class, they had another one. In fact, their entire day was filled with classes, as that was the way school worked.
What a shame.
Janus and Logan had very different classes, with their morning lesson being the only one they shared, but that tiny bit of social interaction was enough to keep them from living their college life in complete solitude, so it was enough.
Logan went through today like he went through every day; a groggy mindset and the school's free, cheap coffee being both his source of hydration and the thing keeping him awake.
He participated when he could, but that wasn't often. More often than not he had his face buried in his notebook, frantically scribbling down notes in an attempt to keep up with his professors, and jot down his own thoughts.
Normally, he could work fast, but it's hard to focus on so little sleep and sustenance.
After school, Logan sluggishly walked home, as per usual. He'd have a couple hours to study (or sleep) before he had to head to work.
And normally, he would do either of those things, but upon walking into his dinky apartment, grabbing a cup (which was one of the two he owned - flatware is expensive), and filling it with some questionable tap water, he decided he really had to look into more ways to make money.
With a sigh, he set his cup down, moving to his tiny couch instead. It was uncomfortable to sit on; stiff to the touch. He pulls his computer out of his backpack; it was one of the nicer things he owned, and his parents helped him buy it seeing as he needed one for school.
It was old, and very outdated, but it worked, and that was enough.
He patiently waits for the search engine to load up (understanding that his apartment's cheap wi-fi ran slowly, but he didn't have the money for his own router so this would have to do) before typing in "what are quick ways to make money?"
He was provided with a bunch of job options that he didn't even bother looking at.
He already had a job; he definitely didn't have time for a second one. Not with his already full schedule.
So why was he even looking? Did he want to gamble? Or join some sort of pyramid scheme? Maybe he was just looking to make sure there was nothing better out there.
And that's almost the conclusion he came to, until he came across a site that had "sugar daddy" in the URL. A sugar daddy...? Logan, surprisingly, didn't know what that was.
He clicks the link, opening a new tab as well to look up what a sugar daddy was while the link loaded.
He scans over the definition.
"A rich, older man who lavishes gifts on young people in return for their company or, more typically, sexual favors."
His face scrunches up. Money in return for sex? Isn't that... isn't that prostitution? Isn't that illegal?
Surprisingly, no. It's one of the few exceptions to that law. And Logan stares at that link for a few seconds, considering it.
He sighs, closing his computer, as he sinks deeper into the uncomfortable couch. He lets his eyes rest for a second, momentarily soothing the burning that's always there nowadays.
He can't let himself fall asleep, though, as he knows there's always the possibility he'll sleep through his alarm, and he can't even risk getting fired from his job. That was currently his only source of income, which helped him pay bills and get some food every once in a while.
With a sigh, he reopened his eyes, and his computer, bringing him to a sign in page on the sugar daddy website.
Was he actually considering this?
He quickly types in his name and age, as well as inputting his gender, and inserting a profile picture (albeit a very awkward one), before typing up a short bio.
"I just don't want to starve."
Afterwards, he's brought to a Tinder-esque screen, showing other profiles with a red thumbs down and a green thumbs up on the bottom of the screen. When Logan hovered his mouse over them, they lit up, showing they were buttons.
"Hmm," he hummed, pushing his glasses up as he scans over the first profile, already cringing at the age. "67." Yikes.
Well, he'll do what he has to, but maybe with someone a little bit younger... if there even were any younger people on here. Logan honestly was hoping for a miracle, unrealistically so.
But, he pressed the thumbs-down button nonetheless, deciding he'd at least try.
"49." Getting better...
Woah. Twenty-three? This fucker was only a couple years older than Logan was.
Logan quickly skimmed over their profile. The profile picture was blurry, and normally Logan would take that as a bad sign, but he was desperate.
"Remus Prince, 23
here for a fun and sexy time ;))) will treat my sweet lil baby right ;000"
Well, it was childish, and Logan found himself slightly annoyed with the usage of emoticons and the improper capitalization, but, he really would rather sleep with a younger man.
With one final re-evaluation of this decision, he clicks the thumbs-up button, taking him to a chat feature. Oh, interesting.
Logan, who was pretty socially stunted, hummed, as he tried to figure out an appropriate way to start this conversation.
Well, that was a good start. He set his computer to the side, standing up to grab his cup of water and carry it back to the couch. When he sat down, he saw he already had a reply. Damn, did people just have constant free time?
'hey there cutie ;))'
'i take it ur lookin for a daddy <33??'
No, Logan was just on this website for fun. He rolled his eyes, and then cringed at the idea of referring to this man as his 'daddy.' Ew. He'd stick to Remus for now.
'In a sense, yes, assuming your referring to the 'title.''
He had to be sure.
';) just joking'
'and yes, that is what i meant smh. so when do you wanna meet, baby?'
Logan frowned slightly at being called 'baby,' not being able to properly identify how it made him feel. Weird, definitely. Ugh, this was all confusing and, God, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this.
'Tomorrow,' Logan answers. before providing the time after he'd be out of school. They could talk in the few hours Logan had before work, and perhaps he could get a better sense on what being a sugar baby was going to be like.
Remus accepts (adding many unnecessary emojis and emoticons along with a simple "that works"), and Logan sighs as he shut his computer yet again.
He discards it in favor of pulling out his notebook and reviewing the notes he had taken today.
School took his priority until his job started, and provided a good distraction from the now looming concept of meeting his future sugar daddy.
Wow, he still couldn't believe he actually resorted to a solution like that. This option is.... mediocre at best.
It was so unlike him, but desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposes.
In order to distract himself, and also kill some time before he has to head into work, he studies the notes he had made, repeating and re-writing in an effort to burn them into his memory. He does this for a couple hours, up until his phone rings. It's an alarm, labelled "get ready for work."
He ends up doing just that, combing through his hair and quickly scrubbing his face in order to look more presentable. He then fixes his clothes, smoothing out the wrinkles and trading out his tie for his work apron. He didn't put it on right away, as he still had to walk to work, but he did fold it neatly over his arm.
He speed-walks to his job, and works throughout the night.
Of course, he was aware of the recommended eight-to-ten hours of sleep people were supposed to get in order to be healthy, but Logan had been functioning just fine on the three hours of sleep he got daily (if even that).
Logically, three hours was a complete sleep cycle. It's just recommended by doctors that people get three cycles.
But Logan didn't have the time to sleep for nine hours a night. Not unless he wanted to drop out of college and move back in with parents (both of which he definitely did not want to do).
He completes the tedious tasks his work gives him, hardly socializing with any of his co-workers, all of which looked equally as tired as he did, before heading home. Perhaps one would be more afraid of walking home alone in the middle of the damn night, but Logan knew the sun would rise in half an hour or so. That, and at least kidnappers would give him a temporary relief from work and school.
And murder would permanently relieve him from both! There was no downside.
When he gets back to his apartment, he folds up his apron and puts it away, before packing all his notes and supplies back into his bag. He checks himself in the bathroom as he slings his bag over his shoulder.
The purple bags on his eyes were growing increasingly prominent. That wasn't great.
He checks his phone after a moment, before humming as he trudged back into the living room and slipped on his shoes, deciding that he'd try and sleep after school today-
Nope! He groaned, as he remembered his meeting with that sugar daddy. What was his name again? Logan tried to think back to it, before his phone rang, the alarm for school going off, distracting him. He dismisses it, adjusting his bag, before heading out the door. Curse morning classes.
He ends up in the lecture hall earlier than most everyone else, as per usual, although Janus is already at his seat. Legs kicked up on the table. As per usual.
"Good morning," Logan greets him, setting his bag down and pulling out his notes.
Janus hums in response, scrolling through his phone. His phone that Logan had never seen before.
"Is that a new phone?" Logan questions, raising an eyebrow. He knew Janus had more access to money than he did (as he often came to school with new rings or fancy tailored clothes) but there was nothing wrong with his old one.
Janus looks at Logan, momentarily confused, before he blinks in realization of the question. "Oh, yeah. It looked cool, and my old one was a bit slow."
Logan couldn't even imagine just spending money carelessly on himself. His phone, while outdated and cracked, could still call, text, and set alarms. If it wasn't broken, why would he need a new one?
With that short exchange, both of them went back to their own devices (literally, in Janus's case) as they wait for class to start.
However, Logan finds that he can't focus, instead thinking about what this afternoon's meeting would have in store for him. The sugar daddy - who Logan had remembered was named Remus - seemed flirtatious over text (although Logan was bad at identifying romantic social cues due to lack of exposure, so he could have just been really friendly), but Logan couldn't picture meeting him.
The unpredictability of the event annoyed him, and what annoyed him even more was that he didn't even know what Remus looked like! His profile picture was blurry and extremely hard to make out.
Guess he'd discover what he looked like upon meeting him, as that wasn't dangerous.
He tries to focus throughout class, once again leaning over his work and scribbling rapid notes, but his mind can only listen to the teacher for so long before he's thinking about the meeting again.
Ugh, if he knew he was going to be this distracted by an interaction that hasn't even happened yet, he would just not have scheduled the meeting at all.
Janus seemed to notice that Logan wasn't focusing solely on the class as he usually would, but didn't ask about it. He didn't want to intrude, and he knew Logan would probably give a vaguely concerning answer anyway.
So, instead, Janus left Logan to sort through his own problems alone, like any half-decent friend probably would.
Logan ends up being distracted throughout the rest of the day. Funny how one instance can absorb all of one's mental energy. He still paid attention as well as he could (as he would have otherwise been upset with himself), but near the end of the school day, he finds himself rather antsy. He's not nervous, despite the fact he has fair reason to be. No, he's overly curious, and eager to live through a new experience.
Even if he was unhappy about how his life had managed to come to this. Not that there was really anything he could do about it, without throwing his life out of order.
At the end of the day, he walked home as quickly as he could. He needed time to himself to prepare for Remus's arrival. Not physically, as he looked presentable enough in that regard, but mentally.
When he gets back to his apartment, he checks his phone for the time, before tossing his bag near the couch. There's still about ten minutes until the time Logan requested meeting Remus at, but he's anxiously awaiting his arrival nonetheless.
Those ten minutes pass, and Logan has pulled out his schoolbook, reviewing equations for the upcoming exam in his science class. Another ten minutes go by as Logan gets immersed in the material, before there's a knock on the door.
Logan blinks, drawn out of his finally focused state, before he checks the time. Ten minutes past when he and Remus had scheduled.
Was he late? If he was, that wouldn't be the best start to a first impression.
Logan got up and opened his door, revealing a tall, thin man with pale skin and messy brown hair. He was wearing a pale green tank top and cargo shorts, and had brown eyes that seemed almost red when the light hit them right.
He also had a thin mustache gracing the space above his top lip.
The man grinned and leaned against Logan's door frame.
"Heya there, babes," he greets, before just walking inside. Logan's too stunned to really say anything, so all he can do is shut the door behind him. "You're Logan Berry, yeah?"
It takes Logan a moment to find his voice, so jarred by the young man in front of him. He looked younger than Logan. And not as rich or as fancy as Logan had pictured him. He honestly expected a well-groomed man in a regal suit to show up to his door.
Yet, he was greeted with... this.
"Yeah," Logan answers, after a moment. "I take it you're... Remus."
"Bingo, baby!" Remus says, with a grin, as his hands find Logan's waist. That, mixed with the nickname, made Logan feel weird.
An unidentifiable way, but mostly just hot.
Remus snickers. "Man, you're cute. I really lucked out, huh?"
"Uh, I guess," Logan responds, standing stiff in Remus's hold. "You look younger than I expected."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Logan averts his gaze and shrugs, feeling awkward and inexperienced in this situation. And everything was moving very fast; Logan had no time to process and retain a lot of the information being thrown his way.
"Yeah, that's fair. I just know some people have a kink for age differences. Although, you're the same age I am, so I guess that wouldn't make much sense."
Logan listened to him talk, eyebrow raising slightly at the age kink comment.
He knew what the definition of a kink was, but an age kink...?
"Ah," Logan says, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. There's silence for a moment, before Remus snickers again.
"Wow, you're really awkward."
"And you're really blunt," Logan counters, knowing that Remus is right. He doesn't know what to do here; he's never been in this situation before.
Remus laughs at Logan's words though, pulling him closer, which causes Logan to flush at the contact. He... he had never been this physically close to anyone before.
"Are you blushing?" comes Remus's voice, and Logan just sighs.
Remus backs up a bit, his hands moving from Logan's waist to his face, cupping it, before tilting it this way and that way. Logan looks confused, and still unsure of what to do with his own hands.
Remus's peppy face falls for a moment, looking like he was studying Logan, before he clears his throat.
"Have you ever had a sugar daddy before?" he asks, and Logan wonders if it's really that obvious. He would have brought it up at some point anyway, because he's confused as hell, but this works.
Remus hums. "Have you ever had sex before?"
"Have you ever been in a relationship before?"
Yes, platonically, but Logan could tell that he meant romantically, which prompted Logan to answer "no."
Remus laughed, his face lighting back up. "Damn, you're new to all of this then! This'll be fun."
Fun? What did that have to do with Logan being new to this whole ordeal?
"So, you do at least know what having a sugar daddy means, right?" Remus asks, as he pulls Logan to the couch via an arm around his waist.
He expects to sit down next to him, but he ends up getting pulled into Remus's lap before he can even process what's happening.
However, Remus does finally take the time to ask "you're comfortable with this, right?"
"Having a sugar daddy?"
Remus snorts, his hands rubbing Logan's thighs. "Well, partially. I was more so referring to me being all touchy. It's technically part of the job, ya know, sex for money and all that, but since you're new to this, it's worth making sure."
Logan has to think about that for a genuine minute, because he is indeed new to this, and it's making him feel weird, but he decides it's a good kind of weird.
So he nods. "Yeah. I suppose I'm comfortable with this. It's just new to me."
Remus grins, his hands sliding back up to Logan's waist and pulling him closer. "Are you comfortable with kissing, too?"
Logan's face flushes involuntarily at the question, and at the sight of Remus smirking at him with hungry eyes.
"I- well- I've never kissed anyone before."
"Virgin in all regards, huh? Don't worry, I'll teach you all there is to know. Perks of the job." Remus cups his face, his voice lowered. "Provided I have your consent, of course."
Logan gulps, his face hot, as he nods.
"Verbal consent, Lo."
"Yeah- yeah you have my consent."
Remus smiles, before leaning it fully, pressing his lips against Logan's. Logan still feels awkward, and unsure of what to do, but he guessed the best way to learn would be to just do what he thought he should.
So, he moves his own hands, which were previously laying lax in his lap, onto Remus's shoulders, and Remus grins into the kiss, before tilting his head and deepening it. His tongue slips past Logan's lips, before Logan suddenly pulls away.
"What was that?" Logan asks, before Remus has the chance to ask if he's okay.
Remus looks puzzled for a moment, before he grins. "That was french kissing, silly. Man, despite looking like a nerd, you're really clueless."
Logan frowns, which prompts Remus to kiss him yet again.
"I just don't understand this. I need to do more research on it, it seems," Logan says, mostly muttering to himself. Perhaps it would have been better if he researched kissing and sexual techniques. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so inexperienced in this situation.
However, Remus seems to disagree. "What you need," he begins, his hands on Logan's waist suddenly tightening. "Is for me to take care of you." He suddenly changes their position, pinning Logan to the couch, while Remus smirks over top of him. "Lucky for you, I'm surprisingly good at that."
Logan's face is dark red, and he's speechless yet again. But he doesn't need to talk, as Remus's lips reconnect with his, and Logan closes his eyes and lets himself relax into it. His normally stiff shoulders ease, and his arms slide back around Remus's shoulders, subconsciously pulling him closer.
Once again, Remus deepens the kiss, but this time Logan was at least expecting it. What he wasn't expecting were Remus's hands untucking his shirt and sliding up it. He shivers at Remus's hands running up his chest, before moaning when they reach his nipples.
Remus snickers, as he breaks the kiss. "Damn, you're really cute, Logan."
"Uh-huh," Logan responds, arching his chest into Remus's touch, as they pinch and twist at his nipples. "You've said that already."
"I'm gonna keep reinforcing the idea," Remus says, sticking out his tongue. Then he helps Logan take his shirt off all the way, fully exposing Logan's chest.
"Wow, you're very thin," Remus comments, hands lightly running over Logan's ribs, which were way more prominent than is healthy. "How often do you eat?"
"I'm not the best at reading social cues, but are you sure this is the best time to ask that question?"
Remus stares at him for a moment, before shrugging. "Not necessarily, but after this I'm buying us dinner."
"What?" Logan says, as he sits up slightly. "Why?"
Remus looks at him if he's stupid, before remembering that Logan is new to this. "Okay, so, this is probably not the best time to give a lesson, but sugar daddies pay their sugar babies for sex. I thought you'd at least know that."
"I did. I thought that was money."
"Well, it can just be money, but they also get paid in other things. Like jewelry and clothes, or food. Necessities and gifts."
"Oh," Logan says, as he pushes up his glasses. "I suppose that makes sense. You don't have to though."
"Don't have to do what?"
And once again, Remus looks at him as if he's stupid. "Logan, we're literally about to have sex. This agreement - the one between daddies and babies - is we have sex and then I pay you. Me not paying you would sort of defeat the whole purpose."
Logan blinks, before just nodding. Yeah, that seems fair.
Remus seems happy the conversation is over, as his attention turns back to Logan's chest. He leans down and licks a stripe up it, an action that Logan would cringe at if he didn't find it weirdly hot.
Remus's mouth then latches onto one of his nipples, tongue messing with it, before he sucks lightly around it. Logan's hands gripped tighter at Remus's shoulders, his nails accidentally digging into his back, and he lets out a moan that makes him slap a hand over his mouth afterwards, his face dark red.
It's not his fault his body was so sensitive. Remus's touches just felt so good. And the way he was eyeing up at Logan made him flush darker.
Logan had to look away, tucking his face into the crook of his elbow as Remus moved away from his nipple and turned his attention to Logan's pants instead. He quickly makes work of unbuttoning his cheap jeans before tugging them down and tossing them to the side, hardly hesitating before pulling Logan's boxers down as well, his embarrassingly hard cock springing up at the action.
He feels strangely vulnerable under Remus, as he's now naked and on display while Remus is still fully clothed.
And Remus is eyeing up and down, licking his lips, as if Logan's his next meal.
"You sure you're okay with this?" Remus asks, and Logan gulps and nods.
"Yes, I'm sure," he says. It's for the money; that's why he took the offer in the first place, but now he found himself extremely curious about the situation he had gotten himself into.
Remus nods at his answer, reaching into the pocket of his shorts, before pulling out a small bottle and a small, square package. Noticing the curious look Logan gave the bottle, he hands it to him, before working to pull off his own clothes.
"Lube," Logan states, while reading the bottle. Unsurprisingly, he didn't learn about safe gay sex in school, because all they teach, if they teach sex at all, is straight sex.
Which is stupid, considering not everyone is straight, but whatever.
"You need it," Remus explains, pulling his shirt off. "It's to make sure you don't feel pain while I fuck you. Also to keep your asshole from tearing. It's a necessity for anal sex."
"Yeah," Remus hums, working to unbutton his pants. "I always carry a bottle considering some people just don't have it lying around, and nothing else should be used as a substitute."
He snickers as Logan reads over the small print over the bottle.
"Like you, for example. You look like you've never seen lube in your life."
"Yeah, makes sense."
Logan hands the bottle back when Remus reaches for it, only then fully realizing that Remus was just as nude as he was.
He takes a moment to scan over Remus's body. He's thin, as Logan could tell when he first arrived, but he's also paler underneath his clothes. He has a few scars littering his chest, arms, and legs.
Logan would ask what they were from if Remus didn't immediately snicker.
"See something you like?" he asks, playfully, earning an eye-roll from Logan.
"Ouch, you wound me, Logan."
Logan rolls his eyes again, before going back to evaluating Remus's body. Mainly, just trying to study it enough to commit it to memory, while Remus works on squirting some lube onto his fingers.
Logan's eyes shamelessly look towards Remus's cock, eyes widening slightly at the sight of it.
His own cock was a little above average, but Remus's was definitely bigger than his. That thing was going to go inside him?
The thought made Logan shiver and blush involuntarily, but Remus didn't seem to notice, instead grabbing Logan's thigh with his clean hand and lifting it up slightly.
"What are you doing?" Logan asks, still propped up on his elbows, as Remus grazes his teeth over Logan's thigh.
"I'm going to stretch you," Remus says with a hum. "Since you're new to this, and specifically a virgin, it's important to prep you before you take my big cock." It's said semi-seriously and semi-flirty, but Remus's tone is enough to make Logan go red in the face.
He himself couldn't believe he was blushing at some flirty words and a few sensual touches, but alas, he was.
"Okay?" Remus asks, drawing Logan out of his thoughts. Logan nods, before responding with "yeah, okay."
Remus smiles, before slowly easing one finger into Logan. Logan gasps at the feeling, hands grasping the stiff cushion beneath him.
It felt... weird. Not bad, but definitely strange.
Remus slowly pushes the finger in and out of him, before sliding another finger in him, scissoring him open. Remus seems pretty focused on making sure Logan's properly stretched, but he also takes the time to nip at Logan's thighs, earning a few gasps and grunts from Logan.
He'd leave a few hickeys over his body, but he wanted to make sure Logan was comfortable with sex before he did anything a bit more extreme. He'd have to ask Logan about some of his kinks and boundaries when they weren't literally about to fuck so he could plan ahead.
Remus ends up pushing a third finger in, steadily pumping them in and out of Logan, before Logan tries to roll his hips down involuntarily, feeling the urge to get more pleasure.
Remus grins at this, before pulling his fingers out, earning a whine from Logan.
Remus shushes him with a quick kiss, wiping his fingers against Logan's couch (not like Logan noticed anyway) as he quickly tears open the condom package. He doesn't break the kiss as he spreads Logan's thighs apart, one of them being smashed against the vertical cushions, and the other was practically dangling off the couch.
"You gotta relax for me, okay baby?" Remus says, voice smooth, as Remus quickly works to lube the condom up as an extra precaution, before he lines his cock up with Logan's entrance. Logan nods, not sure what he's about to feel (assuming it'll feel at least similar to Remus's fingers) so he's partially unsure of how to brace himself.
He's surprised, however, as Remus's cock slowly slides into him, and he tenses as his hands tightly grip the couch.
"You okay?" Remus asks, hands slowly massaging Logan's thighs. "You're not in any pain, right?" He sounds slightly concerned, although he really still just seems casual.
"No- no pain," Logan breathes out, biting his lip. "It's just... weird. I'm not used to it."
"You'll get used to it eventually," Remus responds, with a grin. "Provided you wanna stick with me."
Logan rolls his eyes, as this was definitely not the right time to even mention that, considering Remus's cock was halfway inside of him at this moment
Remus is still for a moment though, giving Logan a moment to adjust and to completely process what was happening.
After a minute or so, Logan finally nods his head, his body relaxing completely.
"Good?" Remus asks, his hands sliding until they reach Logan's hips. His hands grip there a bit firmer, and Logan shifts slightly, before answering "good."
Remus's hands hold tight to Logan's waist, as he manages to slide his cock in fully.
Logan lets out a whine as it's fully inside of him, his hands moving to tightly grip Remus's shoulders. Remus rubs his hips, before leaning down to kiss over Logan's collarbone.
He still wants to bite down, and he doesn't hesitate to drag his teeth over the unhealthily prominent bone, but he resists biting. For now, at least.
When Logan starts shifting a bit to get more friction, Remus smirks, and he slides his cock halfway out, before thrusting harshly back in, causing Logan to let out a high moan.
Remus's smirk grows, as Logan bites his lip, his nails digging into Remus's shoulders.
"Remus," he breathes out, head laid back against the cushions, silently begging him to do that again. He'd verbally ask himself if not for the weird feeling inside of him that sent blood rushing to his face, which provided a pretty sight for Remus.
Remus obviously understood (he'd had enough sex to understand cues), as he pulls out again, almost fully this time, before slamming back into him, causing Logan's back to arch, as he cries out Remus's name, his legs closing instinctively around Remus's waist, effectively pulling him closer.
Although, Remus didn't seem to mind that much, as he connects their lips for a messier than usual kiss, as Remus had begun thrusting into Logan at a steady, albeit slow, pace. And while it wasn't as extreme Remus could go, or wanted to go, it was a lot for Logan, especially all at once and so suddenly in his life.
But, it's not like he could exactly complain in between all the pathetic noise involuntarily spilling from his mouth. Babbles of nonsense, as his body is introduced to more and more exciting stimulation.
Then, Remus suddenly hits something inside of him that shoots pleasure up his spine, his eyes rolling back into his head as his toes curl, as he whines out Remus's name.
"That spot feel good, baby?" Remus asks him, and Logan can only nod in response, his eyes now screwed shut in pleasure as Remus continues to thrust into that spot, earning loud moans and pitiful begs from Logan.
"Fuck..." Remus mutters, his nails digging into Logan's hips, puncturing the skin slightly. Logan would complain about how the germs from Remus's hands could potentially cause the very small wounds to become infected, if he wasn't too busy drooling and moaning.
"You close, Lo?" Remus grunts out, earning a gasped out "yes!"
Remus chuckles lowly, as one of his hands releases Logan's hip and instead grabs hold of his red cock, stroking it fast and irregularly compared to his thrusts. The action had Logan moaning, before he comes across his chest with a whine of Remus's name.
Remus, however, doesn't stop the assault on his cock, continuing to stroke it and thrust into Logan mercilessly. Logan whines at the overstimulation, laying lax against the couch as he continues to let Remus please himself, before Remus's nails dig hard into him and he groans, coming into the condom.
He stays inside of Logan for a moment, both of them catching their breaths, before he pulls out, sliding the condom off and tying it shut, before he gets up to go find a trashcan to toss it in.
When he comes back to the couch, Logan's eyes are shut, glasses askew on his face.
"Logan," he says, as he grabs his clothes and starts sliding them back on, ignoring the fact he was covered in sweat and had just gotten done having sex.
He receives no answer, so he gently pokes Logan's cheek after gathering all his stuff. "Logan?"
Still nothing. He hums, before shrugging. If he was tired enough to sleep, might as well let him sleep. He did end up stalking around his small, and rather poor looking apartment though, in search of a blanket. He finds one, neatly folded on the edge of Logan's bed, and he smiles as he brings it back into the living room. He pays no mind to the fact Logan's covered in come as he drapes the blanket over him.
Then, he pulls out his wallet, and sets multiple bills on the table, placing a half-full cup of water that was sitting on the table already on top of it, to keep it in place.
Then, whistling a strangely eerie tune, he walked off, making sure to lock Logan's apartment door behind him, for Logan's sake.
And, damn, this would be one hell of a thing to wake up and remember.
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